Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bill:

"A-X-O-L-O-T-L, my time has come to burn! I invoke the ancient power that I may return!"

I looked in fear at the human, the pathetic mortal, who somehow managed to trick me, raising an arm in my last attempt to save myself.

"STANLEY!!!"

He drew back his fist, and as it made contact with my eye, everything went black.

/⑅\

Drip

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of wet flatulence, followed by a warm feeling on my stone top hat.

Oh, goddamnit, another bird shit on me, I thought, wishing for the millionth time that I could set these puny creatures ablaze to satisfy my anger, but I mentally huffed my breath in frustration as I reminded myself that I was stuck in this stupid stone statue.

Okay, where was I? I imagined myself tapping my non-existent chin in thought. Right, the Pines family. What shall I do first when I am set free? I could put a field around the Mystery Shack and set the cabin on fire. I could turn either set of twins against their sibling and watch it escalate until they end up killing each other. I could... Ooh! With Pine Tree, I could– FUCK!!!

For yet another bird had left its droppings on my statue, this time right on my beautiful eye. God, I wanted to scream, I wanted to set this whole forest on fire, I wanted to destroy the Pines' for ever messing with me!!

My anger only increased with the never-ending frustration that I couldn't do any of those things while stuck in this stupid fucking statue!!!

It'd already been fourteen months, and the Axolotl showed no sign that he heard my pleas. I can't take this anymore! I thought. I just want to go home to my own dimension, I thought the Axolotl understood that this was my only wish.

I longed to see my parents again, to apologize for my horrible behavior that got them killed. I wanted to look my brother in the eye and tell him how sorry I was that he got involved, that he was the first to die as a result of my selfish actions.

No, no, no! God, what is happening to me?? I screamed at myself. I am an all-powerful demon, capable of the destruction of entire dimensions!! I am not supposed to feel such things as mortal emotions, I lost that ability centuries ago! So what the hell is happening?!

My thoughts were once again brought to the one person who ruined everything, who I truly loathed more than even the Axolotl himself, infuriating as he may be. God, I couldn't wait until I got my hands on Dipper Pines, until I could practically smell his terror as he watched me massacre his entire family before him, knowing he would be next. But his torture would be slow and unforgiving, as mine was, and I would draw out his pathetic life, bringing him nothing but the level of pain he brought me, until his eyes were empty except for his pleas for the mercy of death. And only then would I grant it to him.

I smiled at the thought, at the wonderful ideas my brilliant mind could contrive.

If only that stupid Axolotl would let me out of this godforsaken prison!

But he won't, sang a little voice in the back of my mind. You know he won't. You don't deserve to be freed. You have brought nothing but chaos and destruction, you have lied to and manipulated and killed innocent beings in your unsuccessful attempts at processing your grief, your anger, your guilt.

No, I growled, or rather, mentally seethed. Those worlds were near extinction anyway, their lives meaningless. I liberated them from their miserable existences. And grief? Guilt? Ha! I don't regret anything I've done. My dimension got what was coming, and so did this world, only I was destroyed.... God, I hate Dipper Pines!!

I screamed, felt my mind begin to tear as I fell further into insanity. I felt my flames, my once warm, comforting fire engulf everything around me. The bright blue tongues reached my statue, melting it into dust, eating away at my mindscape, until the heat became too intense and everything turned black.

/⑅\

I woke up laying on the ground, covered in mud and... in pain. That's odd, I thought, I don't feel pain. I got up and examined myself. In my dizzy state, I found nothing wrong, but as my headache lessened, I realized that I was... human. But it didn't feel like I was possessing anyone. In fact, I didn't feel my powers at all. I felt strange, as though I truly was mortal. How disgusting.

Glancing around, I tried to figure out where I was. I was in a forest, surrounded by incompetent air-breathing animals and plants. I was still in Gravity Falls, I knew that because my statue was behind me. I turned on my heel to make sure I was right, but the statue was nowhere to be seen. Spinning in circles, I tried to see if I had missed it, but it wasn't there. Yet somehow I still knew that I was in Gravity Falls, Oregon.

Suddenly, I felt pain, a horrible stabbing pain in my abdomen. A strange sound came from it, and the pain worsened. It felt as though there was a creature in there, growling at me, threatening me, twisting and writhing around. My mouth filled with a strange, tasteless liquid, which I swallowed. God, I'd forgotten how awful hunger felt since the last time I inhabited a mortal body.

My body groaned again, and I fell to the ground, looking around for any source of food. About ten meters away, I saw a large bush, speckled with berries, but I barely got two feet before a gust of wind shoved me backwards and carried me in the direction it went. When the wind let up, I looked around to find a glimmering lake. Turning on my heel, there was a small cabin, not unlike the Mystery Shack, in front of me.

I peeked through one of the windows, and when nobody appeared to be inside, I slowly approached the door to find a short note taped onto the wood.

Prisoner 618H

Sentence duration – Eternity

Bill Cipher

Class E Demon

I sighed, memories of the abuse of that word playing through my mind as I crumpled up the paper.

Cautiously opening the door, I entered a tidy living room with simple black furniture, accented by a black and yellow triangle-patterned rug, as well as a black grand piano in the corner. Connected by a wide archway was a small kitchen and dining area, the theme of black and yellow continuing. In between the dining area and living room, a hallway stretched across the house. There were two doors along the right side, and one on the left. The first door on the right led to a bedroom, the second a laundry room, and across the hallway was a small, simple bathroom. As I looked through the house, I soon realized that almost everything was either black or yellow, the colors losing their glow as I started to grow tired of them.

Sighing, I reentered the bedroom, collapsing onto the wood-hard bed to begin plotting my revenge.

/⑅\

Anger.

I woke up every day for over fifty years with nothing but burning anger.

I'd quickly learned the rules: no violence, no dying. Both would take me back to my pitiful defeat, and time would go on from there. But soon, I hoped, soon I would find a loophole, one where I could finally kill the Pines' without time resetting.

I stared at my reflection in the water; I hated this stupid mortal vessel I'd been resurrected into. It was fragile, weak. It could barely lift a fallen tree without collapsing under the weight. It could barely run for more than an hour without rest, and it could barely reach two-thirds of a kilometer per minute. It couldn't go more than a couple of hours without requiring sustenance, and then it would just shit it out later in the day. Even more annoying, I didn't have my powers to help me.

But the mind was the worst part.

Every minute I wasn't plotting my revenge on the Pines', the memory of my parents and brother would surface, causing guilt, pain, and sadness to well in me. I mean, come on! It wasn't that tragic. Sure, they'd been my only family. Sure, they'd been the only ones who didn't hate me because of my brilliant mind, who weren't jealous of my remarkable talents and magical abilities. Sure, they'd died because of my greed. Sure, I'd failed to bring them back, breaking into the third dimension and collapsing my home world.

Sure.

But my Master was right. Their deaths had made me a god, and nothing else mattered.

I do not feel guilt. I do not feel sadness. I do not feel pain. The mere suggestion is laughable.

Pain is hilarious.

I kicked the water, making my reflection ripple, my expression distort. As I did, my beautiful weapon nearly fell into the water. I picked it up, dusted it off.

It was a long, thin branch I'd attached knives from my kitchen to, as well as forks, nails, and other sharp objects I found. I'd tested it on myself many times, and was quite satisfied with my work.

I called it a death stick, and it was truly a work of art.

Straightening my back, I cleared my mind and tightened my grip on the death stick, sprinting toward the Mystery Shack.

/⑅\

One thousand, five hundred and thirty-five cuts on my arms, legs, and abdomen.

One for every year I'd been stuck in this stupid place.

One for every time I'd been killed.

One for every time I'd killed myself.

One for every year I'd failed to permanently kill the Pines' family.

One for every year I'd been plagued with nightmares about my family.

Originally, I had wanted to do days, but I couldn't find a way to fit anywhere near five hundred and sixty-one thousand, thirty-four cuts on my body.

After about a thousand years or so, I'd stopped trying to kill the Pines'. I wasn't entirely sure why; I just didn't have the motivation to keep going.

I was tired of going in circles. I was tired of being driven by anger, by hate. I was tired of the constant loneliness.

I was tired.

So I stopped, and instead tried to find a way out of this damn prison. Killing myself would never work, but it did, for a while, help to alleviate some of my pain. And it helped distract me from thinking about my parents and brother. That was the main reason I kept doing it.

I also considered giving in and living a human life, but it was just so damn lonely, even with the cats. Although, I hadn't even seen the cats at all in this reset. Their movements were alway so random; sometimes they would visit me multiple times in one time-loop, other times they wouldn't show up for several loops in a row.

Around thirty or so years ago, three cats showed up at my door, all at different times. One was a pure, fluffy white, so I named him Whitey. The second was mostly gray, with a white belly, so I named him Gray. The third, a sweet, vicious little kitten, was black with white splotches, so I named her Orka.

At first, I shooed them away so I could kill the Pines', but when that became tedious and futile, I decided to let them in, give them food and water. They became a source of comfort in my pitiful existence, but I hadn't seen them in a few loops.

Wait, had it been thirty-five or thirty-six? Thirty-six, right? Yes, one thousand, five hundred and thirty-six years. How silly of me.

I let the knife slice through my skin once more, nice and deep. I didn't bother wiping the blood away, as it was fun to watch the liquid drain from my vessel, to try and stay conscious while experiencing necrosis, to feel each one of my brain cells starve and die within minutes.

Yes, how amusing, the lack of brain to the oxygen, I thought, chuckling to myself.

Wait, lack of... Lack of what? Why would I say that?

Why would who say what?

What is this throbbing in my head, this ringing in my ears?

Why is the ground getting so... so... close...?

Chapter Text

Dipper:

The trees bustled with wildlife as I walked down the leafy trail. Adjusting my backpack, I took a deep breath and continued through the peaceful forest towards the large cave.

I loved going there when I needed some peace to think, and Great-uncle Ford kept insisting I come here to look for some powerful crystals he had read about in the ancient writing on the walls. Ford said the writing may help lead us — 'us' meaning me, as he was 'too old to do the dirty work' — to the crystals, but I'd been looking for months and still couldn't find them. What did he even want with the crystals, anyway? Why were they so important to him?

Of course, because I'd been looking for them for so long, I was convinced that there were no crystals. Ford probably thought I needed some space after the deaths of my parents, so he came up with this impossible task to allow me to take in some fresh air and sunlight as I cleared my head. He did the same thing with Mabel for a while, encouraging her to leave the house and spend time with her friends, so I probably wasn't too far off. That's just my guess, but of course I could be wrong.

I pushed those thoughts aside, along with the tree branch in front of me as I approached the entrance. Heading inside the spacious cave, I set my backpack on the ground and dug through it to retrieve my flashlight. Staring at all of the writing on the walls, I sighed at how far I was from figuring this out. After an hour of mapping out the area and decoding pieces of the writing, I walked back through the tunnels to another entrance and looked out at the view.

The cave was on top of a large cliff, and I could see trees for miles on end. This was why I loved this place so much, because of the calm, breathtaking view. I doubted anyone else knew about this place; it was so deep in the forest that people were likely too scared to know it existed.

Drawn forward, I took in a deep breath, watching the gentle sway of the trees below me. The heels of my feet were just barely able to balance on the very edge, maybe an inch or so farther than I'd stood yesterday. I felt a pebble shift beneath me, plunging off the cliff, soon lost in the blurring trees.

I stared out into the forest, contemplating for the thousandth time stepping all the way off. But Mabel needed me, and I couldn't just up and die, no matter how unbearable the thought of facing another pointless day was. A sigh escaped my lungs as I forced the urge back down into the deepest corners of my mind.

Shoving my flashlight into my pocket, I turned around and went back to the cave entrance, opening my bag. I grabbed Journal 1 and went to one of the walls, trying to use the book to decipher the foreign words. After about two hours of copying the writing down and translating it, I finally gave up and rested for a while. I went to my bag and grabbed a granola bar, sitting down next to the entrance to eat and look out at the forest.

As I ate, I wondered if Bill Cipher's statue was still out here in the woods. I'd been searching for it for seven years and still couldn't find it. I wondered if any tourists had found it and taken pictures with it, but I knew it was unlikely. Although one of the main reasons tourists come here in the first place was to look for the mysterious statue, no one has found it. A few years ago, Great-uncle Stan created this elaborate scavenger hunt to trick tourists into wasting their money buying fake clues to find a fake statue he'd made, but no one ever found the real thing.

I wondered if Cipher was still alive, even though he was erased from Grunkle Stan's mind and turned to stone. It had been several years, but the thoughts still plagued me. I didn't like not knowing whether Cipher came back along with Grunkle Stan's memory, or what happened after Grunkle Stan died...

Finishing my granola bar, I stuffed the wrapper in my pocket and let out a huff of air. I leaned against the wall, wondering why I agreed to do any of this for Great-uncle Ford.

/⑅\

A few long hours later, I checked the time to see that it was almost four in the afternoon. I decided to get up, grab my stuff, and head back to the Shack. As I exited the cave, I glanced around, taking a deep breath and enjoying the beautiful forest.

Dreading facing Ford empty handed, I took a detour towards a small lake nearby to skip a few stones. I approached the clearing and picked up a smooth rock, but paused, brows furrowed. Across the lake, alone in the forest, sat a small cabin. The Mystery Shack was about a mile south from where I was, so the sight of this house was confusing to say the least.

As I walked around the lake to get to the cabin, I looked around for any sign of its inhabitants. I heard a voice, and turned to see a few gnomes forming a stack by the window, instructed by a seemingly frustrated younger-looking gnome.

"Jeff?" I said as I approached the gnomes.

He wore an irritated expression as he turned to face me. "Hey, this is our pie, so back off."

My brows furrowed in confusion until I noticed the steaming pie on the window sill that the stack of gnomes was trying to reach. I hurried over and grabbed the pie before the gnomes could get to it.

"Hey!" Jeff shrieked. "That's ours, give it back!" He jumped up and down in a futile attempt at retrieving the pie.

I took a cautious step back as the angry gnomes approached, but was filled with confidence at the realization that these creatures were tiny. I gently kicked one of them, sending him flying until he hit a tree and started barfing out a rainbow. The gnomes in front of me backed away.

"You still want the pie?" I said with a smirk.

Jeff glared angrily at me before finally huffing out a breath of air.

"Fine, you win," he said, "but you'll be sorry you ever messed with us, boy. The gnomes are a powerful race, and–"

Scoffing, I turned around, walked towards the front door of the cabin. I hesitated when I reached it, however, not knowing what kind of person might live this deep in the forest. But I knocked on the door anyway, wanting to return the pie to its owner. Besides, I had a magnet gun in my bag in case anything went wrong.

The door swung open, revealing a young man who stood several inches taller than me. He looked to be in his early twenties, and wore a yellow sweater and black jeans. Messy yellow hair fell over his tan face, covering his right eye, and was tucked behind pointed ears. There were cuts and bruises all over his freckled face, surrounding his visible dark green eye. He looked so thin, like he hadn't eaten in days, but also lean and very muscular.

He blinked, and I felt my face grow warm, realizing that I had been staring at him.

"I, um," I started, then looked down at the pie in my hands. "I– I saw some gnomes trying to steal this, so I thought I should return it."

He followed my gaze to the pie, smiling as he took it.

"Thank you," he said, his voice soft and smooth.

I nodded, my face still burning. His smile shifted into a look of confusion.

"Would– would you like to come in, little Sapling? It's not like I can eat this by myself."

I hesitated, not wanting to intrude, but his warm smile returned, so I nodded and followed him inside. He set the pie on a table and went into the kitchen while I looked around, putting my bag down.

"Would you like something to drink, Sapling?" the young man asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah, um, water's fine," I called back, a little confused by the nickname.

I sat at the kitchen table, wanting to ask the countless questions that swam through my mind, but I held my tongue, not wanting to sound rude.

The young man exited the kitchen, holding two plates, two forks, and a knife in one hand, and a glass of water in the other. I thanked him for the drink, and he smiled before going to fill another glass. He came back and cut the pie, handing me a serving.

As we ate, questions continued to fill my mind until I couldn't hold them in any longer.

"Do you live alone?" I asked, wondering whether I should be prepared to face multiple potentially dangerous people.

He looked up at me in surprise before nodding.

"What happened to your face?"

His hand drifted to the cuts and bruises scattered along his otherwise perfect face.

"I fell out of a tree," he said with a small grin. "Misjudged how strong a branch was."

I nodded, went back to the delicious pie.

Questions continued to enter my head the more I examined him, assessed whether he was in any way a threat.

"What's your name?"

"Um," he said, "you can call me Susur'imber. It was my father's name."

"Was?" I said in confusion.

He nodded.

"Yes, was," he said, but didn't continue.

"Well, what's your real name?"

He glanced nervously at me. "I– I'd rather not say."

My head tilted slightly in confusion, but I nodded anyway. "Alright, Sursur– Surim–"

"Susur'imber," he said slowly, a sweet smile on his face. "But Imber is fine."

I nodded and watched as he went back to his pie, his face set in concentration, before drifting my gaze to his pointed ears.

"I-is something wrong?" the young man asked. "Do you not like the pie?"

"What are you?" I said, unaware that he'd asked a question.

The young man blinked, and I suddenly realized what I said.

"I– I'm sorry," I said quickly, feeling my face heat up again. "I didn't mean to be rude, it's just– I– you– you're not–"

"It's okay," the man said with a smile. "You're right, I'm not human. I'm..."

His voice faded, along with his sweet grin.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me. I was just curious."

His eyes drifted to mine, fear written in his face.

"I– I'm a demon," he finally said.

I smiled, my eyes wide. "That's so cool! Where did you come from? Are there more of you? Do you have any powers?"

The young man blinked in surprise.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I like meeting strange creatures." I blushed again. "N-not that you're strange, I didn't mean it like that, it's just–"

The young man laughed, the sweet sound making something flutter in my chest.

"No, it's okay, I get that you're curious," he said with a smile. "Let's see... I'm from another dimension, there used to be more of me, but all of my kind are dead, and no, I don't have powers, but I used to."

I furrowed my brows. "What– what happened to your species?"

His face darkened, adding to my confusion.

"My dimension was destroyed, and everyone in it was killed, except me."

"Oh, Imber, I'm so sorry," I said, but he only shrugged.

"It's fine. It was a long time ago, and I've moved on."

I nodded, wanting to comfort him but understanding that he didn't want to keep talking about it.

"You said you used to have powers? What happened to them?"

He hummed in thought.

"They were taken from me when I came here," he said simply, looking away.

"Why? What happened?"

Imber was silent for a moment, then sighed, getting up from the table.

"You– you should leave, Sapling," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

"Leave?" I said in confusion. "Why? What's wrong? Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll understand."

He shook his head frantically.

"Please just go," he said.

I hesitated, puzzled by the hurt look on his face, but I nodded anyway.

"Okay," I said after a moment.

Handing me my bag, he moved past me to open the door, still not looking at me. I took a step outside, then turned back.

"Thank you for the pie, Imber. If it's okay with you, I'd like to come back tomorrow."

His dark green eyes finally met mine, full of guilt and confusion. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it after a moment, nodding. I smiled at him, then turned to head back to the Shack.

Chapter Text

Bill:

I'd like to come back tomorrow.

His words echoed in my mind. But why would he want to come back? I was a demon, a monster, so why would he want to come back?

I pushed the thoughts of the sweet young man out of my mind, attempting to focus on cleaning the dishes.

After centuries of being stuck in this place, isolated and lonely, I finally got to talk to someone, and I didn't even get to learn his name before pushing him away.

I finished washing the dishes the boy and I used, then went to bed. I didn't even have the energy to do my daily ritual of cutting myself, as I just wished that this nightmare would end.

/⑅\

The next day, at around eleven in the morning, I awoke with a smile on my face at the memory of the young man. The first real smile, first real feeling of contentment and hope that I'd felt in centuries.

I got out of bed and stretched, about to head to the kitchen to make breakfast when there was a knock on my door. As I went to see who was there, I heard a voice coming from outside.

"–our pie and you know it!" The voice wasn't familiar. I felt something in me sink, though I wasn't sure what.

"It wasn't your pie, you were stealing it!" came another voice, belonging to the boy I met yesterday. Smiling, I quietly opened the door.

The boy was facing away from me, hands on his hips as he scolded the gnome in front of him.

"Next time ask, or make your own goddamn pie!"

I chuckled, startling the young man. "Such horrible language for a sweet boy like you."

"Hey," he said with furrowed brows as he regained himself, "I was defending you! This is the gnome that was trying to steal your pie."

I couldn't help but smile at the annoyed look on his adorable face.

"Well, come inside, little Sapling," I said, ruffling his fluffy brown hair. "Maybe we'll make another pie for your little gnome friend."

"He's not my friend," the young man muttered, crossing his arms as he stepped inside.

I laughed, smiled when the boy's mouth stretched into a grin.

Entering the kitchen, I got out the ingredients for the pie I made yesterday. I measured out the dry ingredients, then glanced behind me to see the boy watching me curiously from the kitchen table. I smiled at him.

"If you wanna help, you can, Sapling." I gestured to the fridge. "You can wash some berries, any kind you like."

He smiled nervously, then got up and looked through the fridge. After a moment, he emerged, a bowl of the blueberries I'd used yesterday in his hand. He rinsed them, then turned to me for further instructions, his shy expression making me smile.

"Alright, mix the berries and all the dry ingredients together with that spoon while I get the dough," I instructed.

We worked in silence for a few minutes, until I glanced over to see that he was done with the filling and watching me intently, observing me with such curiosity in his pretty brown eyes.

"Here, you can finish kneading this while I cut the crust."

He blinked, his eyes full of confusion and his face growing red.

"I– I've never baked a pie before," he said softly. "I don't know what kneading is."

I smiled, gesturing for him to come closer.

"Here, Sapling, I'll help you," I said gently as he stepped forward. I showed him how to press the dough, turning it around the flour. "Now you try."

He laid his shaking hands on the dough, glancing nervously up at me for approval. Smiling, I placed my hands on top of his, showing him what to do.

"Yeah, you're getting it!" I said, impressed by how quickly he was able to follow.

I pulled my arms back, letting him knead the dough on his own, but every part of me was itching to hold his soft hands again. Shaking the thought away, I glanced down at his concentrated face one last time before cutting the crust.

/⑅\

An hour later, the pie was fully baked and in the fridge, and I'd finished making a couple of sandwiches for me and the young man. He smiled when I handed him his serving, and we sat at the table to eat.

"I saw a cat outside when I came here," he commented in between bites.

"Oh, which one?" I asked. "White, gray, or black and white?"

"Black and white," he said. "Is it yours?"

I shook my head. "No, every once in a while a few different cats will come begging for food, but I don't know who they belong to. I call the black and white one Orca, 'cause she's a feisty little kitten. She's my favorite."

Getting up, I sifted through my fridge to find my homemade cat food. I put a serving into a bowl, which I placed outside, to the right of my door.

When I sat back down, the young man's brows were furrowed, his head tilted in a confused expression. My mouth twitched into a grin.

"Even though they're not mine, I feed them anyway. It's– it's nice to have company."

The young man smiled, and I felt something in my abdomen flutter. Confused by the strange body spasms, I peeled my eyes away and continued eating. After a few moments of silence, though, I glanced up at the boy to find him staring at me, a look of confusion back on his pretty face. His pretty, pretty, pretty...

"How... old are you?" he asked, his head tilting and his eyes glinting with that adorable curiosity.

"Well," I hummed, looking down in thought. "Technically, I'm nearly fifteen trillion years old, so about fourteen or fifteen in human terms. But when I became mortal, I was put in a body that was the human equivalent of my true age, and my body and mind stopped aging like a demon. That was nearly ten years ago, so I'd say I'm in my early twenties, both physically and mentally."

I trailed off a bit towards the end, finding myself entranced by the way his eyes lit up as I spoke. I could practically see the cogs in his brain turning as he tried to understand exactly what being a demon entailed.

"Wow," he breathed, beautiful brown eyes widening. "Fifteen trillion years. You must have seen so many cool things!"

"Yeah, I– I guess," I said softly, rubbing the back of my neck. "I mean, when you see so much, it all starts to blur together... so I dunno how much I can tell you about my experiences."

"That's okay!" he exclaimed, digging through his bag to retrieve a blue notebook and a pen — though it looked so chewed up I doubted it would last much longer. "Just tell me everything you can!"

/⑅\

Another hour or so flew by, finding the two of us sprawled across the floor of my living room, papers scattered around us that mapped out parts of my life and the extent of my powers. After he'd asked me everything he could think of, we simply laid on our backs in silence, enjoying each other's company.

"So," the young man said after a while, turning to face me, "what happened yesterday?"

My face fell; I was hoping he wouldn't bring this up. Sitting up, I rubbed the back of my neck nervously.

"Well, um..." I said after a moment. "I– I guess I just got scared. I'm not technically supposed to be around humans, and I was afraid that if you were to learn the truth about me, you– you wouldn't want to talk to me."

Sitting upright, he furrowed his brows in confusion. "Why aren't you allowed to be around humans? And why wouldn't I want to talk to you? I like you, I wanna get to know you better."

I felt my face heat up slightly, but I lowered my head, unable to meet his chocolate-brown eyes.

"No, I– I can't. I shouldn't have–" I shook my head, standing. "I'm sorry, Sapling, I shouldn't have let you in again. I just– I haven't talked to anyone in so long and I guess I've missed it, and you seem so nice, and I– I didn't want you to be afraid of me."

"But why would I be afraid of you?" the young man pressed.

I looked up at him, scared to tell him the truth.

"Because– because I'm a monster, okay? I'm not supposed to talk to humans as a part of my prison sentence."

"P-prison sentence?" he asked quietly after a moment.

I nodded, turning away. "I did something horrible, and I was stripped of my powers and sent here," I said in a soft voice.

"What did you do?" he pressed, and I glanced at him nervously before taking a deep breath.

"I– it's–" I started, then sighed. "I was young, barely able to control my magic, and my parents were just killed in front of me. I was in pain, angry, scared, and I– I–"

"You destroyed your dimension, didn't you?" he asked softly.

I nodded, full of shame. "And in my pain, I started to grow numb, empty. I traveled the multiverse and brought pain to every dimension I came across, wanting to get back at the universe for taking everything from me. I was caught, of course, and brought here, where I am to spend the rest of eternity as a mortal."

I turned away, then heard him stand and step towards me.

"H-how long have you been here?" he asked.

I furrowed my brows, trying to remember. "I believe today is day 563,194. Time resets every time I die, which has been a lot, and every time I do something violent, which hasn't happened in centuries. I've mostly been focused on trying to kill myself permanently. I think this reset has been the longest, about seven years, but...."

My hand drifted to the cuts on my face.

"You– you said you fell off a tree," the young man said slowly. "That wasn't entirely true, was it?"

I glanced nervously at him before shaking my head.

"No, I... jumped from the tree a few days ago. That was the most recent attempt I made at killing myself."

"Why have you been trying to kill yourself?" he asked. His sweet voice was full of concern, which  made me beyond confused. Why was he being so kind to a monster?

"I– I don't know," I said softly. "Maybe to feel something. Maybe I hate myself. Maybe I miss my family and want to join them in death. Maybe I'm tired of living like this, stuck in an endless cycle of self-loathing, unable to talk to anyone without time resetting, making everything I do meaningless."

I felt his hand on my shoulder, but I shook it away, scared to let him in. He sighed.

"Maybe... maybe you've been waiting for someone to find your cabin. Maybe you've been hoping someone will come who is willing and wanting to help you, or even just spend time with you."

I scoffed. "Who would want to spend time with a demon, let alone help one?"

The young man laid his hand on my shoulder again, this time turning me to face him.

"I would," he said softly.

I finally looked at him, into his deep brown eyes, trying to figure out if this was a trick.

"Why?" I breathed.

"Because," he said, his voice full of kindness, "I know what it's like to be trapped in such a dark place, with no idea how to process grief, and it's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. You keep saying that you're a monster, a demon, but I don't see that. I see a boy who lost his home, a boy who is trying his best to go back to a normal life, a boy who is lonely and hurt and scared, a boy who just needs a friend. And I would like to be your friend."

I stared at him for a moment before letting out a shaky breath, nodding slowly.

"Okay," I whispered.

"Good," he said, smiling up at me.

He looked at his watch to check the time. It was almost two in the afternoon.

"Alright, well, I've gotta go, but I'll come back tomorrow and we can talk, okay?"

"Okay," I said sadly, opening the door for him.

He went outside, took a few steps when I suddenly remembered something.

"Wait," I called, going back inside to dig through the fridge.

Careful not to drop it, I ran back outside, where the young man stood waiting with a confused look on his face.

"Here," I said, handing him the pies. "The whole one you can give to the gnome, and you can have the one we started eating yesterday."

A smile stretched across his face, the sweet grin and the warmth in his dark brown eyes making my knees feel weak. He put a hand on the side of my face, pulled me close to him and pressed his lips against my cheek.

He grinned down at the pies, as red in the face as I probably was, then gave me the one from yesterday.

"Keep it with you; we can finish it tomorrow, or the next day."

Smiling, I nodded. I watched as he turned away, almost wishing there was something I could do to get him to stay. 

Chapter Text

Ford:

A few weeks after I started having strange dreams, the Oracle returned once again.

"Stanford," she said, her silky voice smooth and soft. "I know you have many questions, and I appreciate your patience. The heir is nearly fully developed, and will be ready for travel soon."

I nodded, though confused by yet another vague mention of an heir.

"In the meantime," Jheselbraum continued, "you must build this next."

She waved her hand, and a rolled stack of paper appeared in front of me. I flipped through them to find instructions for a second device. This one that would actually open portals instead of detecting dimensional doorways like the other one she had me build.

I glanced up at her, wanting to ask the countless questions that came to me, but she waved her hand again and everything turned black. I awoke and sat up, shifting an object on my lap. I looked down to see the blueprints the Oracle had given me in my dream. Opening them, I examined the details of the device.

It would emit a burst of energy directed at a specific point that the first device would locate. The burst of energy would tear into another dimension, creating a doorway to allow for safe passage through.

Sifting through the pages, I learned that this device would require much more power than I'd anticipated. I ran a hand through my hair; I would need to get Dipper to find multiple geodite crystals instead of just one.

I got up and went to the kitchen to make some coffee, checking the time to see that it was nearly four in the morning. A sigh escaped my lungs.

After taking a deep sip of coffee to wake myself up, I entered the code into the vending machine, opening it when I heard the click. Exiting the elevator, I set the papers on my desk and examined the schematics. I searched through my things, looking for anything I could use, but sighed when I determined that I would need to look elsewhere for parts.

I ran a hand through my hair, wishing I could search for the machinery with Stanley, or at least have him look after our niece and nephew. I let out a huff of air and forced the thoughts away, knowing that nothing I could do would bring my brother back.

Going back to the papers, I began jotting down everything I would need to complete the device. When I finished, I examined the long list, sighing at the thought of how much time this would take.

Preparing a bag for the journey ahead of me, I went back to my desk and wrote a letter for Dipper and Mabel. I set the note on the kitchen table and exited the Mystery Shack, beginning the search for all the parts I would need for the device. 

Chapter Text

Dipper:

I went back to Imber's cabin every day for the next eleven weeks, not that I was counting. Sometimes we would stay at his house and bake something for the gnomes, and other times he would help me search for the crystals Ford needed.

On the eighty-second day, three days after Ford left, Imber and I were deep in the cave, staring at the writing on the walls.

"So, tell me again why you need these crystals," said Imber. "It seems cruel to steal from the geodites; they're so cute and harmless."

"Cute and harmless?" I chuckled. "One of them bit your leg, stupid."

Glaring, he gently shoved me, making me laugh harder.

"It's not funny," he grumbled, visibly annoyed. "Anyway, why are we stealing the crystals?"

"Well," I said when I managed to stop laughing, "my great-uncle never told me why he needed them, but they seem pretty important. I just wish we actually found them already; it's getting kinda annoying."

Imber stopped walking, feigning a hurt look as I turned around.

"Sapling, are you saying it's annoying spending time with me?" he said, a hand placed dramatically on his chest.

"No, stupid," I said, playfully shoving him backwards. "It's just annoying that we haven't found any yet. It seems like they don't actually exist. Plus, the writing on the walls isn't very helpful."

"Well," he hummed, "maybe they don't exist." I looked up at him, brows furrowed in confusion. "Maybe you made the whole thing up so you could spend time with me," he said with a smirk.

Feeling my face grow warm, I looked away. "Y-you're so dumb," I said, though my blush wouldn't fade. "I don't even know you, stupid."

Another hurt expression appeared on his face, but the playfulness in his dark green eyes gave him away.

"How can you say that, Sapling?!" he said, exaggerating every word. "We've hung out for, like, two months, and you don't know me?"

I glared up at him. "You won't even tell me your name. I can tell it hurts you every time I call you Imber, because it reminds you that your family is gone."

His face shifted from amusement to genuine sadness.

"Yeah, well..." he said, forced enthusiasm in his voice, "you haven't told me yours, so it's not all my fault."

"You didn't want me to, stupid. You kept telling me you didn't want to know."

"Well, if it means you'll consider me your friend, I do want to know."

I smiled; finally we were getting somewhere.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," I said with a smirk.

"And I'll tell you mine if..." he tapped his chin in thought, then his dark green eyes lit up.

Grabbing my hand, he pulled me close to him and wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked up at him to see him grinning from ear to ear, that sweet smile making me feel weak.

"I'll tell you mine," he said, his voice smooth and gentle, "if you give me a kiss."

My smirk vanished, and I felt my face heat up again.

"Wh– I– you–" I stammered, burying my face in his chest so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"Hmm?" he hummed, chuckling slightly. "Whaddaya say, Sapling?"

I took a deep breath, trying to collect myself. Tilting my head up a bit, I snuck a peek at him to see that he was still smirking down at me.

"I– I didn't know demons kissed," I managed, cringing when my voice cracked.

"We don't," he answered. "In fact, my species isn't even capable of kissing. But I studied humans centuries ago, so I'm familiar with many of your... courting rituals. But you're just stalling, aren't you, little Sapling?"

I hid my face in his chest again, not wanting him to see how red I must have been.

He laughed softly, running a hand through my hair before letting it fall back to my waist. I looked into his dark green eyes, then shifted my gaze down to his lips.

Bringing my hands up to the back of his neck, I slowly inched closer to him. I hesitated, looking back into his eyes, then pressed my lips against his, a strange warmth spreading through me.

His lips were soft and warm, fit perfectly against mine. His arms tightened around my waist, bringing me closer to him. After what felt like forever, he slowly pulled away, but I stayed with him like a magnet for a second longer, not wanting this to end.

I looked up at his perfect face, and he smiled at me, ran a hand through my hair. I grinned back, sure that my face was beet-red.

"Well, now, that wasn't so hard, was it, Sapling?" he said, his voice smooth and gentle.

I opened my mouth, but no words would form. I buried my face into his chest as he laughed softly, the sound vibrating into me.

"A-alright, stupid, tell me your name," I said, managing to look up at him.

"Not until you tell me yours," he sang, smiling at the annoyed look on my face.

"I'll give you a hint," I said, pulling away a bit.

I brought my hand to my head, lifting my bangs to reveal my birthmark.

"Oh, Sapling, it's beautiful," he said in awe. That sweet grin stretched across his lips, causing my face to heat up. "It's the Big Di–"

Suddenly, he froze, gaping at the constellation on my forehead.

"Wh– what's wrong?" I said quietly, confused and slightly hurt.

"I– you're– n-no, you can't be–"

He pushed me away and took a few steps back, then turned to run from the cave.

All I could do was stand there, stunned. I slowly stepped back, sliding to the ground once I'd hit the wall of the cave. Running a hand through my hair, I replayed the moment in my head, wondering what I did wrong. 

Chapter Text

Bill:

Dipper.

Dipper Pines.

The one person who probably hated me more than anyone else, and he kissed me.

Dipper Pines, my enemy.

The only person I'd been able to talk to in the centuries of my imprisonment, and he'd probably never want to look at me again.

Dipper Pines.

I can't believe I hadn't recognized him. He looked so different, so much older and wiser. And it didn't help that he had a bit of stubble on his chin and along his jawline, nor did the lack of his signature hat, nor did his deep voice. He matured so much since my defeat.

I'd seen him many times in my imprisonment, but each reset lasted no more than a year. Every time I revealed who I was to the Pines family, they would all look at me with such anger, such hatred.

Dipper would look at me with such hatred.

Dipper Pines.

I replayed the moment in my head over and over, unable to get rid of the feeling of his soft, warm lips on mine.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and shook my head, trying to distract myself. 

Pie.

Gnomes.

Squirrels.

Grass.

Numbers.

Shapes.

The sharp, sexy corners of his pine tree symbol–

I sat up in my bed, looking around for something to focus on. When I couldn't, I covered my face with my hands, trying to concentrate on my vessel.

My breathing.

My heartbeat.

My blood, quickly making its way out of my crotch.

My eyes, which darted around even though they only saw black.

Slowly calming down, I took a deep breath, inhaled his snowy scent, gazed into his beautiful brown eyes, ran a hand through his fluffy hair, pulled him close to me and latched onto his soft lips–

I leapt from my bed and ran out of my room, needing to focus on something else. I went to the kitchen, saw Dipper kneading dough at the counter. I left my house, saw Dipper teaching me to skip rocks from across the lake.

I ran a hand down my face, surprised to feel it wet with tears. Shaking my head, I started walking away from the lake, away from my house, away from anything that reminded me of Dipper Pines.

Is this why the Axolotl brought me here?! I thought as I paced through the forest. So that I would develop feelings for a boy who could never love me back?

Thunder cracked, rain fell from the sky. I wished it would fill my lungs until I could no no longer think, longer feel, no longer yearn for Dipper Pines.

I tripped, felt a rock slice through my leg as I fell. I screamed, wished I had my knife so that I could end this pain, but Dipper had taken it away from me a few days after we met.

Letting out a shaking sob, I slowly got up. I pushed through the dizziness, starting the trek back to my cabin. I closed the door and leaned back against it, sliding down to the floor. Tilting my head back, I wished I could provide Dipper shelter from the rain, worried whether he was safe, whether he'd caught a cold, whether he was stuck somewhere and didn't know how to get home.

I cried, tears pouring down my face in sync with the rain and the blood dripping onto the floor, until darkness fell upon me and everything went black.

/⑅\

I awoke to the sound of someone knocking on my door. Slowly opening my eyes, I cradled my head to rub the soreness away, only to wince at the throbbing pain in my leg. I rolled my pants up to see a deep gash running through the length of my shin.

More knocking; this time it sounded like it was right behind me. I groaned, realizing that I hadn't bled out and was instead still leaning against my front door.

More knocking.

"I-Imber?" came a sobbing voice. "Imber, come on, please open the door."

Silence. For a moment, I wondered if I'd imagined him.

"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to... to offend you or anything, it's just..."

I felt a soft thud behind me; Dipper undoubtedly let his head fall on the door.

"Please just let me in so we can talk! I– I miss you, and I want to work through whatever is going on."

I heard a sniffle, and every part of me wanted to open the door, comfort the boy, tell him I was sorry for shutting him out. But then I remembered why I had to shut him out.

I am Bill Cipher. I am a demon.

The pressure on the door let up.

"O-okay, well, whenever you're ready to talk, come find me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for whatever I did, I just want you to know that."

I heard his retreating footsteps, felt my head fall on the door behind me as tears welled in my eyes. 

Chapter Text

Dipper:

Every day, I would knock on Imber's door, and every day, I was greeted with silence. By the third day, I had gotten into a rhythm: try to talk to Imber, search the cave for geodite crystals, try again with Imber, go home.

About a week after Imber and I kissed, I found myself growing sad, numb. I barely ate, barely slept, barely responded when Mabel asked me what was wrong. I hadn't been in this kind of state since my parents died. Knowing how much Imber hated himself, I didn't know what I would do if something were to happen to him.

I approached the cabin, sighing at the prospect of being shut out again. Before I could knock on the door, I heard footsteps. I felt my stomach do a flip as I turned around, hoping it was him.

"Oh, it's you," I said, my heart sinking.

The gnome huffed his breath. "Well that's one way to greet someone."

"Hey, Jeff," I said, uninterested.

"Yeah, yeah, hello to you, too," he grumbled impatiently. "Can you tell your boyfriend to stop lollygagging and pick up the slack? In case you haven't noticed, I have a whole colony to feed, and they've almost gone through the entire stash of food you two made."

I frowned. "Um, I actually haven't seen Imber in over a week."

"I don't know what you see in him," said Jeff, grunting in disapproval. "He would not make a good housewife, let alone queen. That damn demon spends way too much time in the forest and not nearly enough in the kitchen." My eyes widened at this.

"H-have you seen him?" I asked, heart full of hope for the first time in days. "Where is he?"

"He's hanging out by a tree about a hundred yards in that direction," he said, waving his hand as though uninterested. "Tell him he needs to make more pies! And throw in a couple of beignets, too, just for me!"

I barely heard Jeff as I sprinted through the forest. Looking around, I called his name, but heard no response. I was about to turn back and scold the gnome for lying to me when I saw a flash of bright yellow in the leaves above me.

I approached the tree, where Imber sat on a branch about thirty feet from the ground. Smiling, I watched silently as he carefully messed with one end of a rope in his hand, then began tying the other end to the branch above him.

My smile faded, however, when it became clear the type of knot he'd created. I cursed under my breath, running to the base of the tree.

"Imber!" I called more loudly than before.

He jumped in surprise, nearly falling off the tree. His brows furrowed as he looked down and saw me.

"Imber, what the fuck are you doing?!" I yelled. Maybe not the best reaction, but I had to do what I could to prevent him from continuing what he was doing.

The young man's lips pursed. "N-nothing."

"Dammit, Imber, give me the rope this instant!" I said firmly, and he hesitated before complying, detaching it from the tree.

He dropped the rope, and it landed a few feet away from me. Picking it up, I felt something in me crumble when my fears were confirmed.

It was a noose.

I quickly shoved it in my bag before looking back up at him.

"Imber, please come down," I said in a less demanding tone. He only stared at the ground, as though contemplating jumping. "Come down carefully, Imber. P-please," I added, and he finally looked at me, sighing in defeat as he started to climb down the tree.

When he reached the bottom, I immediately tackled him in a hug, comforted by his warmth, his familiarity. For a moment he leaned into the embrace, only to quickly tense up. He hung limp in my hold, staring at the ground as I pulled away.

"What were you thinking, Imber?" I said softly, hand cradling his cheek. "Why were you... why would you do something so horrible? What's going on with you?"

His head turned to face me, but he didn't meet my eyes. "I just– I thought it'd be better this way... better for you. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Hurt me?" I said, taking his hand in mine. "Imber, you hurting yourself hurts me. I'm just glad I found you when I did."

Closing his eyes, he shook his head.

"Dipper, I– I can't," he said, voice shaking as he pulled away and stepped back. "I can't keep doing this to you."

I took a step forward. "Can't keep doing what to me? Imber, you're not hurting me, I promise. I just wish you would communicate, that's all."

He still wouldn't look at me.

"Imber, what's wrong? Why have you been pushing me away?" I said softly, moving closer to him.

He closed his eyes, shaking his head again.

"Please, Imber, tell me what's going on with you! Why won't you talk to me?"

"We can't be friends, Dipper," he whispered, his eyes still closed.

"Wh– why not?" I said, feeling something in me crumble.

He furrowed his brows, his hands balling into tight fists.

"We just... can't, Dipper, okay?"

"Then why even come down?"

"I– I don't know," he said, still not looking at me. "It doesn't matter. I shouldn't even be near you. I'm just– I'm too dangerous, and I don't want you to get hurt."

"Imber, we've talked about this!" I said. "You're not dangerous. And if you are, why did you come down to talk to me?"

"Because I wanted to make sure you were okay," he said softly, his eyes closed. "Because– because I care about you."

"So why do you keep pushing me away?" I asked, growing frustrated.

"Because I'm a fucking monster, okay? I am a demon," he said, his dark green eyes finally meeting mine, full of pain and guilt. "And– and that's all I'll ever be," he added in a softer, hopeless voice.

I blinked, surprised by the anger in his tone. "You're not a monster, I know it. I've seen the kind of person you are."

"No you haven't!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms up and turning away. "What you've seen in the last couple months is only a fraction of my existence, a fraction of my full imprisonment, even! You have no idea the horrible things I've done, the lives I've ruined!"

"Then talk to me, please! Let me in, tell me why keep pushing me away!" I grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face me.

He glared down at me, eyes burning with anger. "You want to know why I'm stuck in this prison, why I keep trying to kill myself, why I keep pushing you away and why you deserve so much better?"

"Yes!" I pleaded. He hesitated, his dark green eyes showing a flicker of surprise before shifting back to anger, this time accompanied by guilt.

"Because– because I'm Bill Cipher! I am a monster, a demon, a worthless piece of shit!"

Blinking in surprise, I pulled my hand away and took a few steps back.

"No," I whispered after a moment. "No, th-that's not possible... we– we killed you."

"I'm a demon," he said, looking down. "It'll take more than hitting me with a memory gun to kill me, although that was very clever."

As I looked him up and down, my brows slowly creased in disgust. "You sick freak! This– this was all just a game to you, wasn't it? Just a sick, twisted game to get me to fall in love with you!"

Still putting up an act, he only stared at the ground.

"Well, I have news for you, demon." At this, his dark green eyes began to water. "It didn't work."

Tears slid down his cheeks. "I– I'm so sorry, Sapling," he said softly, wiping his eyes.

I stared at him, fighting the urge to punch him in the face.

"Fuck you."

With that, I turned and ran off.

I reached the lake and sat on a fallen log, suddenly aware of the rope in my bag. As I took it out, a thought creeped into my mind, an evil, twisted thought to leave the noose at the door of his cabin. But I quickly flushed it away; as much as I hated him, I could never be that cruel. Instead, I stood up and threw the rope as far as I could, watching it land in the water with a plop and quickly sink to the bottom.

A sigh escaped my lungs as I turned and started walking back to the Shack. I glanced briefly at the cabin on the other side of the water, just to see if he'd come back.

He hadn't.

Chapter Text

Bill:

Hours later, I still sat at the base of the tree, curled into a ball and sobbing into my knees.

Not because he hated me. Because I deserved to be hated.

I deserve this pain.

Hugging my arms, I tore at my skin with my nails, but barely broke through the thick surface. I huffed my breath in frustration and looked around for something else I could use. A sharp branch might do, but it would only make thin scratches when I wanted wide, deep cuts. I dug around, shifting the leaves and sticks to find what I was looking for, until I felt my fingers brush against the rough, jagged texture of a small stone.

Without hesitating, I sliced through the skin on my left arm, leaving a trail of scarlet that I didn't bother wiping away. Another cut.

I never should have let him in.

Another gash.

I never should have let myself fall for him.

Another incision.

I never should have let so much time pass.

Another.

I never should have called for the Axolotl.

Another.

I never should have lost control, killed my parents, my brother.

Another.

I never should have made a deal with that demon in the first place.

Another.

Pain is supposed to be hilarious.

Another.

I want to be painless.

Another.

I deserve this pain.

Another.

I deserve this prison.

Another.

I kept going, but nothing I did made the feelings I had for the young man go away. If anything, I only hated myself more, hated that I could never be worthy of his love.

/⑅\

A week.

Five days, to be exact.

Five days since I last spoke.

Five days since I last had a proper meal.

Five days since I last showered.

Five days since I last got a full night of sleep.

Five days since I started having nightmares again.

Five days since I last saw him.

Since I last gazed into those beautiful brown eyes.

Since I last breathed in his intoxicating scent.

Since I last heard his wonderful laugh.

Since I last felt alive.

Since I last existed as more than a speck of dust within the desert of the multiverse.

Five agonizing days. Well, five days isn't really exact.

One hundred and seventeen hours.

Seven thousand and twenty-seven minutes.

Which was how many cuts were scattered along my arms, legs, and abdomen.

It was currently around one in the afternoon, and I had just gotten up for the day. I didn't bother washing off the still-wet blood. I would just add more before I went to bed in a few hours, which I did every day.

Entering the kitchen, I grabbed a bag of chips and sat on the couch.

I didn't bother cooking. Not when I couldn't share anything I made with Dipper.

Every day, I would hear knocking on my door, but it was only that stupid gnome.

Every day, though, I would answer it, hoping it would be Dipper. It never was.

Every day, I would go back to that tree, where I would sit and stare up at the cliff in case Dipper decided to jump.

Every day, I would drive myself insane wondering whether I was doing the right thing by staying alive. Because on one hand, Dipper would constantly tell me that dying wasn't the answer, that dinner wasn't over, whatever that meant. On the other hand, he never said that to me. Not really. It was Imber he was talking to, and Imber had been dead for a very long time. Not only that, but I had no idea whether I was causing Dipper psychological anguish. But wouldn't that count against me? Wouldn't that result in time resetting? So what was the point? Should I just die? Would he be better off? Would I be able to resist letting him in when he'd inevitably come to my cabin in the next reset? 

Every day, I added one thousand, four hundred and forty more cuts to wherever there was space on my body.

Every day was insanity.

Every day was suffering.

Every day was agony.

Every day was pain.

And, every day, I deserved it.

Chapter Text

Dipper:

A week.

Nine days, to be exact.

Nine days since I last spoke more than a few words at a time.

Nine days since I last had a proper meal.

Nine days since I last showered.

Nine days since I last got a full night of sleep.

Nine days since I last saw... him.

Nine days. Well, nine days isn't really exact.

Two hundred and nine hours.

Twelve thousand, five hundred and forty-three minutes.

Seven hundred and fifty-two thousand, five hundred and eighty-one, eighty-two, eighty-three seconds.

Running a hand down my sunken, tearstained face, I forced myself to stop counting and get out of bed. I trudged downstairs, where Mabel was serving three plates of scrambled eggs and bacon, one with an absurd amount of glitter on it.

"Morning, Bro-Bro," she said cheerfully, handing me a plate.

Humming in response, I sat at the table and began wiping excess glitter off my plate. I'm not sure why I bothered, I wasn't going to eat it anyway.

"Are you feeling any better?" asked Mabel, sitting down next to me.

I shrugged. My sister pursed her lips, staring at me with concern.

"Come on, Dipper, you need to at least eat." When I only continued shaping my food into a yellow triangle bordered with bacon, Mabel poked me with the handle of her fork. To her, my plate must have looked like a big mess.

"Dipper. Dipper. Dipper. Dipper," she said on beat to her jabs. "You know I can do this all day."

Yes, I did know. I sighed, bringing a forkful of scrambled eggs to my mouth to please her. It tasted like everything else I'd eaten in the nine days. Nothing.

"Now, are you finally gonna tell me what's wrong?" said Mabel. "You've been depressed for, like, two weeks. You didn't even want to celebrate Grunkle Ford's birthday."

I scoffed. "You know he hasn't celebrated his birthday since Grunkle Stan died."

"Yeah, but a birthday is a birthday, no matter how depressing."

When I didn't respond, she sighed. "Does it have something to do with Imber?"

I cringed at his name. Well, his fake name, because everything he ever told me was a lie. Just a lie to gain my trust, to get close enough to kill my family. Because he wasn't Imber. He was Bill Cipher.

But I couldn't tell Mabel that, so I sighed and shook my head at her question.

Her brows furrowed in annoyance. "Then what's going on with you?"

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"It's not nothing. You barely eat, you barely sleep, and no offense, but you stink. When was the last time you–" Her eyes widened. "Oh my god, it is Imber! You love him, but he doesn't love you back, does he? Is he not gay, or–"

"No, Mabel," I said, frustration growing. "It has nothing to do with B– with Imber. I don't love him, and I don't care if he loves me, which he doesn't."

"You do!" she exclaimed. "Dipper, stop denying it. You love him!"

"No!" I said firmly. At the scared look on her face, I suddenly felt bad for raising my voice.

Rubbing my eyes, I sighed. "I'm sorry, Mabel, I didn't mean to yell."

She nodded, wearing a strange expression.

"It's okay," she said softly. "I shouldn't have pushed it. It's just... You've been a lot happier since you met him. Even if you don't like him in that way, it seems like it's been good for you to have a friend. Whatever happened, I'm sure it's just a bump in the road. I'm sure you can still be friends."

Seven hundred and fifty-three thousand, seven hundred and ninety-four seconds.

I shook my head. "No, Mabel, we can't."

"Why not?"

I hate him.

"I don't know," I said.

"What happened?" she said gently. "What did he do?"

Everything.

"He didn't do anything, it's just– he– he's not who I thought he was."

"Did he hurt you?"

Yes. And you, and Great-uncle Ford, and Grunkle Stan, and everyone else we care about.

"No," I said.

"How did he hurt you, Dipper?"

He possessed my body, hurt my family, tried to take over the world, lied to me, broke my heart.

I sighed. "He– he didn't, Mabel."

She pursed her lips, glancing briefly at my unfinished plate.

"Dipper, I know you. I know when something is wrong." She put a hand on my shoulder. "Whatever he did, I'm sure he didn't mean to. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him. And I hope you know that you can tell me anything. I hate seeing you like this, and I want to help you get through whatever is going on. Okay?"

Finally meeting her gaze, I nodded, getting up to dispose of my uneaten food and to clean my dish.

"Can you please shower before you go?" she called as I exited the kitchen. "You reek! You smell worse than Waddles when he takes a mud bath on a hot summer day!"

Chuckling slightly, I did what she asked, and soon left the Shack.

/⑅\

She was wrong.

Mabel was wrong, and I knew it.

Bill Cipher was a demon, and nothing would change that.

Right?

Right.

Nothing would change what he's done. Even if Mabel was right, which she wasn't.

Sighing, I cleared my mind, heading deeper into the cave. I set my backpack down and dug through it to find my flashlight and journal.

About three uneventful hours passed before I gave up and made my way towards the cliff to view the forest. For a brief moment, I swore I saw a flash of yellow in the leaves, but I blinked and it was gone. I sat at the edge, pulling my lunch from my bag. It tasted bland, so I put it away without finishing it.

Standing up, I stared at the never-ending green below me. I inched closer, barely balancing on the edge. God, did I want to jump, to stop this feeling, to end this heartache.

I shook my head and took a deep breath, wiping my mind clean of those thoughts.

Seven hundred and sixty-six thousand, eight hundred and thirteen.

As I walked through the cave and back to where I last was, I thought again about what Mabel said.

Could Cipher really have changed? My instinct was to say no, but as I thought about our last conversation, I couldn't help wondering if he was really as sorry as he'd looked.

But it had to have been an act... right? Could it have been real?

Even as I argued with myself, my mind was brought to the horrible events of Weirdmageddon. No good person would do that. No one who would do that could ever be capable of good.

Right?

He'd tortured the townsfolk. He nearly killed everyone. He was insane. He was a demon, one who tried to destroy the world. Let it burn in his fire.

Fire.

There was so much fire in his castle, his Fearamid.

So much fire.

We were nearly consumed by his fire.

We nearly drowned.

Nearly died.

All because of the fire.

All because of me.

As the thoughts kept spiraling, wind swirled around me, altering the course of the tears that slid down my cheeks. The wind grew stronger and stronger until I had to cover my ears and kneel. There was a noise. Whistling. Or was it someone's voice? Was it laughter? I heard yelling inside my ears, sounds of sirens and the crackling of fire.

It was because of me.

It was my fault.

I ran through the cave, searching for any exit, when I tripped and fell, flashlight flying from my hand. My head spun and the ringing in my ears worsened, accompanied by the sound of flames, the damaged house burning to the ground.

I was reckless.

I was careless.

I let them drown in the fire.

I tried to breathe, remember the exercises I'd learned, but I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't do anything. The image of my parents' mangled bodies flashed in my mind. My sister, screaming beside me as we watched them take the covered gurneys away.

I let them drown.

I let them die.

They are dead because of me.

Curling into a ball, I pressed my hands against my ears, hoping the sounds would fade away. They didn't, and somehow grew louder, louder, and louder still, until my mind couldn't handle it anymore and everything turned black. 

Chapter Text

Dipper:

I felt my lungs fill with air, but I couldn't open my tired eyes. I was laying on a soft, comfortable cushion, and with the pounding in my head it was so tempting to just fall back asleep. After a moment, I groaned and rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up.

Slowly sitting up, I looked around. I was in a bedroom, but not my own. The walls were dark, the color scheme mostly yellows and blacks. My eyes widened at the realization of whose room this was.

"Oh, you're awake," came a quiet voice from the doorway.

My heart fluttered at the sweet sound as I turned, smiled at the boy. Until I remembered who he was, what he did.

He held a tray of food, as well as a damp rag. Cipher blinked, pain flashing in his dark green eyes as he fidgeted with the towel, then slowly walked towards me.

He looked terrible. His eyes were red and puffy, his face was tearstained, his hair was a tangled, sporadic mess, his clothes were torn and dirty, and various parts of his body were covered in fresh cuts and bruises. Seemingly thousands of them, though it was difficult to tell.

Taking another hesitant step forward, he sat down on the edge of his bed, as far away from me as he could've been. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak, only too shake his head, turn away.

"What happened?" I said, though my voice was dry. "Why am I here?"

His head turned to face me, but he didn't meet my eyes. "I– I was nearby when I heard you screaming, and I ran to see what was wrong. When I got there, you were laying on the ground, screaming your head off. You passed out when I came near you. I didn't know what else to do, so I brought you here. You've been out cold for a few hours."

I blinked, barely able to fully register his words as I was focused on the quantity and severity of the cuts on his arms and face.

Pursing my lips, I swallowed my compassion. It had to be a trick... Right?

"Um, h-here," he said, setting the food on the nightstand closest to me. "I remembered that you seemed to enjoy this the most."

I stared at the tray, which held a turkey, lettuce, cheese, tomato, and avocado sandwich, cut in half diagonally, next to a slice of blueberry pie. Indeed, out of everything he'd made me, these were my favorites.

"You also hit your head pretty hard, scared the shit out of me, I– I thought you were dead..." his voice cracked slightly, and I tilted my head in confusion. "But, I– I figured you'd want something for the pain." He handed me a pill bottle and a glass of water, which I took cautiously.

Acetaminophen, 500mg blue and red capsules

I opened the still-sealed bottle to find numerous blue and red capsules, all undamaged. Hesitating, I glanced nervously at him before taking a serving and downing it with water. As soon as the water reached my stomach, I felt it constrict, and I stared longingly at the food next to me.

Bill turned to leave.

"Wait," I said, immediately mentally face-palming.

Slowly, he moved to face me.

"Why?" was all I could say.

"Why what?" he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Why..." I began. So many questions swam through my mind, and I couldn't decide which to ask first. After a moment, I stood from the bed, despite the soreness that spread through my body, to examine his face better. "...have you been cutting yourself?"

He lowered his head, staring at the floor. "It reminds me who I am, what I am," he said softly. "And it– it helps me keep track of time."

"How?"

"I, um," he shuffled in his stance. "They represent minutes."

"H-how many are there?" I asked, though I suspected I wouldn't like the answer.

He took a deep breath. "Twelve thousand, nine hundred and sixty. Approximately."

I looked at my watch. It was the twenty-second of June, a little after four in the afternoon. Twelve thousand, nine hundred and sixty minutes ago was 4:00 pm on June thirteenth.

The day we last spoke.

Slowly, concern and sympathy started to replace the betrayal I'd initially felt on June thirteenth at four in the afternoon.

"Why are you back? To kill my family? To destroy this dimension?" 

His eyes filled with guilt as he answered. "No, I didn't choose to come back here. This is my prison sentence," he said, gesturing around him. "I'm stuck here as a mortal, time resetting every time I either die or do something violent."

Slowly, I started to feel less tense around him, less scared for my safety.

"E-everything you told me was true?" I asked, brows knitted in confusion.

He nodded, his movement barely visible. "Everything."

Slowly, it started to feel strange, unnatural to hate him.

"So... what happened that day in the cave? Were you just trying to trick me?"

"No," he said quietly, lowering his head. "Until you showed me your birthmark, I didn't know who you were. That– that day in the cave was genuine, I really do like you and I really did want to kiss you."

His voice faded as he spoke; I had to strain to hear his words. The turmoil in my mind continued to build.

"And today, when you saved me?"

"Genuine."

Slowly.

"But... why?"

"Because I care about you," said Bill, his voice barely a whisper.

"You– you do?" I said after a moment, taken aback by his answer.

He nodded, his head still lowered.

"I'm so sorry, Dipper," he said softly, walking towards the door. "You should go. You know I'm a demon, you know I tried to destroy your dimension, you know I'm stuck here. You deserve to live your life and never come back, and... and I can be okay with that."

Slowly, I chanced a step forward, trying to read him, but he still wouldn't meet my eyes. I studied his face, turned to the open door, then looked back at his face; a tear slid down his cheek. Staring at him, into his watery eyes, I found no trace of the monster I once hated.

Gently taking his arm, I pulled him towards me. He looked down at me, his dark green eyes confused and scared. My fingers combed through his silky blond hair, resting on the back of his warm neck. Pulling him close, I let my chin sit snugly in the crook of his neck. 

His breath hitched, and he went rigid for a moment, but then he relaxed, wrapping his arms around my waist. I felt them tighten around me, as though he didn't want to let me go. Pulling away, I ran a hand through his soft hair, felt his heart rate quicken as my eyes darted down to his lips.

And then the last remaining space between our lips was gone, and all thoughts of fear and doubt about him vanished from my mind. My heart soared as I melted into him, felt his hands gently tighten around my waist, bringing me closer to him.

I pulled away, smiled at the hope in his dark green eyes. Burying my face into his warm chest, I breathed in his sweet citrus scent, leaning into his heat, his familiarity.

"Dipper, I'm so sorry," he sobbed into me.

I tilted my head up, my confusion only growing when I saw tears stream down his face. I gently wiped them away, smiled up at him.

"I know, Bill," I said softly. "I forgive you." Giving him a quick peck on the lips, I pulled away, happier than I'd been in a long time.

Until I felt my stomach twist with a loud groan, reminding me that I hadn't eaten much that day.

Bill's brows furrowed with worry as he grabbed the tray of food, handing it to me. "Here, eat while I take a shower."

/⑅\

I finished the delicious meal and was washing the dishes I'd used when I heard the water in the bathroom turn off. Bill emerged a few minutes later, fully dressed and hair neatly combed, though still damp.

He frowned as he entered the kitchen, where I stood at the sink, drying my hands.

"Sapling, you didn't have to do that," he said as he approached me. "You could have waited for me, and I would have done the dishes."

"Don't be stupid," I said, a smirk forming on my face. "You've already done so much for me, it's the least I could do."

Bill pouted. Rolling my eyes, I took his hand to pull him closer, letting my arms sit on his shoulders as I stared into his dark green eyes.

His expression immediately shifted from feigned annoyance to surprise, a smile finally settling on his lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I brought a hand to his hair. Combing my fingers through silky blonde locks, I pulled him closer and connected our lips.

It'd only been a few weeks since I was this close to him, but it felt like an eternity. And now, being back here, back in his arms, back with those lips, I wasn't sure how I went so long without him.

Bill smiled into me, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. My heartbeat quickened, my lungs begged for air, but I stayed, only wanting more of him. His hands slid to my waist, sending shivers down my spine, and rested on my hips, gently bringing me closer.

When my eyes started to water from lack of air, I pulled away, smiling up at him.

"God, I've missed you," I said as he ran a hand through my hair, moving my bangs back to trace my birthmark.

"I've missed you, too, little Pine Tree." I frowned, memories of him taunting me with that nickname flashing in my mind.

"D-don't call me that, Bill," I said softly, cringing when my voice cracked.

His face sank into an expression of guilt as he took a step back. "I– I'm sorry, Dipper," he said in an anxious tone. "I know that name probably, no, definitely triggers you. I– I won't do it again."

In my mind, I smiled; I was more annoyed than scared. But I didn't want him to know that.

"Nope, I'm afraid it's too late," I said, fighting to hold back a smirk as an idea came to me.

Fear flashed in his eyes. "Wh– what can I do to show you I'm sorry?"

"Let's see..." I hummed. "Nothing." Shoving him backwards, I ran to his bathroom, barely stifling my laughter.

"No, please, Dipper, I– I didn't mean it! Dipper, I'm so sorry!"

Hearing his footsteps, I turned to lock the door behind me. I dug through his things, making as much noise as possible. I figured this could be a good test of trust, a good way to see if he really cared about me or if he was just using me.

"D-Dipper, please open the door," Bill said in a panicked voice. "Please, just– wh– Dipper, what are you doing in there?!"

"Just looking through your stuff," I sang. "I see you kept a razor from me! I suppose I'll draw a bath." I plugged the tub and turned the water on, but didn't actually strip off my clothes or cut myself. Instead, I simply sat on the edge of the tub, facing the door with a smirk on my face.

"No!" Bill cried, banging on the bathroom door. "Dipper? Dipper, please don't hurt yourself. I– I'll do anything, just don't h-hurt yourself, please."

I heard him shuffle around, rattling the doorknob, and I pursed my lips to contain my laughter.

"D-Dipper," he sobbed, and I felt a slight pang of guilt, wondering if I took it too far. I mean, I'd already pretty much gotten my answer. "Dipper, please! Dipper? Dipper?! Oh, god, oh, god..."

His footsteps retreated, and I cocked my head in confusion. I heard him digging around his bedroom, coming back a few moments later. The handle rattled, and after a click, the door swung open to reveal an anxious Bill.

When he saw me sitting on the edge of the tub, giggling instead of bleeding out in the water, he set the key on the counter and rushed over. He turned the faucet off, kneeling in front of me and cupping my face in his hands.

"Dipper, a-are you okay?" he said softly, though I could hear the fear in his tone.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I said when I was able to swallow my laughter. "I'm not really mad at you. I just thought it'd be funny to mess with you a little. Sorry I let it escalate."

He ran a hand through my hair, pulling me into an embrace. "It's okay, Sapling. I'm just glad you're safe. I really thought you were gonna do something horrible."

"Well, now you know how I feel, stupid," I said, smirking at his confusion. "When you were about to... when I found you in the tree that day."

Guilt welled in his eyes as he lowered his head. "I'm sorry, Sapling. I didn't mean to scare you like that."

I grinned. "I know."

Lifting his chin, I pressed my lips against his, smiling into him. Bill relaxed, his arms falling to my waist and holding me close. He pulled away to run a hand through my hair, kissing the top of my head. I tilted my head up, studied his face before taking a deep breath and pulling away a bit.

"Bill, I– I know you've changed, and I want to trust you, I really do. But you've done some pretty messed up things to me and my family." I took another deep breath. "So– so let's just take this slow, okay? Because I want this to work, and I don't think it can unless we start over and figure this out slowly."

He blinked, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"But... why are you being so kind?" he whispered. "After everything I've done, I– I don't deserve another chance."

I grinned up at him. "Because, stupid, you are not the demon you think you are. You have changed, grown, and I like the person you've become. Okay?"

His mouth stretched into a small yet warm, loving smile, and he nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

"O-okay," he said softly.

I felt my phone buzz, frowned when I had to pull away from Bill. It was a text from Mabel.

Grunkle Ford's looking for you, wants to talk.

I saw her continuing to type.

Did you patch things up with Imber yet? I feel bad that I haven't been able to come with you and beat the shit out of him for hurting you.

Smiling, I showed Bill the threat from my sister. He raised his eyebrows in surprise as I went to reply.

Yeah, we're good now. If you want, you can meet him, but you'll have to come outside.

I couldn't remember the last time she actually went outside, and it really worried me. She used to be the one always dragging me out, but ever since our parents died, she hasn't wanted to leave the house. I understood, but it still scared me to think of her isolating herself in her room.

She responded after a moment.

HA! I knew it was about Imber! You fool, you fell right into my trap >:)

Feeling my face flush, I quickly replied.

You wanna meet him or what? Cause this is a one-time thing.

Hmmm, she responded. You win. I'll come outside and meet this boyfriend of yours.

Bill chuckled beside me, and I turned to see that he'd been reading over my shoulder the whole time. I shoved him away, my face growing red.

"Come on, stupid, we're going to the Shack so you can meet Mabel," I said, quickly texting my sister that we would be there soon.

His brows furrowed. "But I've already met her."

"Yes, you have, but Imber hasn't. And that's who she's going to meet. I want her to see you the way I see you."

A smirk formed across Bill's face, and I suddenly realized what I said.

"I– Th-that's not– I didn't mean it like that, stupid. I just want her to understand that you're not a demon." He blinked, unsure, and I rolled my eyes. "Just– come on, stupid," I said, grabbing Bill's hand and dragging him out of the house. 

Chapter Text

Dipper:

Late in the afternoon, Bill and I met the tree line and approached the Mystery Shack.

I smiled up at Bill, though it faltered when I saw his pointed ears. I gently brushed his hair in front of his ears, making sure they were concealed. Giving him a reassuring smile, I took his hand and guided him towards the Shack. I knocked on the door, and after a moment Mabel answered it.

"Hey, Bro-Bro," she said cheerfully, then shifted her gaze to the nervous blond beside me. "And who's this? You didn't tell me your boyfriend was so hot."

I felt my face heat up as she smirked at me.

"Um, this– this is Imber." I lowered my head, hoping to hide my blush, before remembering that 'Imber' had never met her.

"Imber," I said, turning to him, "this is my sister, Mabel."

As he opened his mouth to greet her, Ford stepped into view. Feeling Bill tense beside me, I gently caressed his hand with my thumb, hoping to comfort him.

"Ah, Dipper, I was wondering when you would get back," he said, casting a suspicious glance at Bill. "I hate to take you from your sister and your... friend, but we have much to discuss."

I nodded, turning to Mabel and Bill. "Um, why don't you two go talk by the lake or your house or something? I'll come get you when I'm done with Ford."

Bill glanced at me with a worried expression, but before he could say anything, Mabel squealed, grabbing Bill's arm and dragging him away. I smiled as I watched them go, happy that my sister was finally acting like her normal self.

I turned to Ford, who ushered me inside and walked me through the gift shop. He entered the code into the vending machine, taking me into the elevator and pressing the button for the second sub-basement level.

"So, who's your friend?" Ford asked when we exited the elevator.

"Um, his name is Imber," I said, thinking quickly to remember the story we'd agreed on. "I met him a few months ago when I had lunch in town."

Ford nodded; he believed the lie. He went to his desk, began working on his device.

"You two were holding hands," he said, turning to me. "Are you dating?"

My brows furrowed. Were we dating? I really liked him, but I'd told him I wanted to take things slow. Plus, I wanted Mabel and Ford to get used to him before telling them who he was and what he meant to me.

I shook my head, though I still felt my face heat up. "No, um, he was just nervous about meeting you and Mabel. We– we're just friends."

"That's good," he said, nodding again before going back to his work. "I'm glad you're putting yourself out there. I wish your sister would do the same, although I know how hard it is to lose someone close to you."

My face fell; he wanted to talk about Grunkle Stan. He turned around, leaning back on his desk.

"Look," he said, rubbing his eyes, "I'm happy that you're going out and meeting people, but I just want you to be careful. I don't trust that demon friend of yours."

I froze, my eyes widening. "H-how did you know he's a demon?"

He laughed. "So I'm right?"

I nodded, looking down.

"Dipper, I'm not stupid. When Stanley's memories came back, I put sensors all around the Shack. I saw some unusual activity, so I came out to see what it was. I'm not saying he's one of Bill Cipher's minions, but you never know. All I'm saying is that you need to be careful. Especially since the unicorn spell wore off, and it'd be a nightmare trying to negotiate with them again."

I nodded again.

"Anyway," he said, turning back to his device, "how is the search for geodite crystals going?"

"Not great," I admitted. "I've pretty much searched the entire cave, and I still haven't found any. I've found a few strays, but no nests, and no crystals."

Ford sighed. "Dipper, I need those crystals. My machine won't work without a power source, and I need to finish it soon."

"What are you working on? Why do you need the crystals?" I asked, trying to look past him to see what was on his desk, but he blocked his work from my view.

"None of your concern. At least, not yet. When the time is right, I'll tell you, but for now I just need you to keep looking for geodite crystals."

I nodded in defeat. "Is that all, Great-Uncle Ford? Do you need help with anything else?"

"No," he said. "You may go. Please get the crystals to me as soon as possible."

With another nod, I turned around and left Ford to his work.

Sighing, I closed the vending machine door, wishing Ford would share his work with me. I knew he'd been hesitant ever since Grunkle Stan died, but I wasn't as reckless as Stanley; I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize Ford's work. 

Chapter Text

Mabel:

After showing me around his house, we walked back outside and Imber led me to the other side of the lake. He sat down on a fallen tree, nervously bouncing his knee, and I sat on a log almost across from him.

"So, what kind of a name is Imber?" I asked to break the awkward silence.

"It's– it was my father's name. I, uh, don't remember if hu– um, if there's a direct English translation for it."

"Your parents just named you Imber and didn't tell you what it means?"

"My– my parents are dead," he said softly, looking away.

"Shit, Imber, I'm sorry," I said, instantly regretting my rudeness when pain flashed in his eyes. "Mine are, too."

He lifted his head up, his brows knit in confusion.

"You– your parents are dead?"

I nodded. "Yeah, they died in a fire a few years ago."

"Oh, Mabel, I'm so sorry," he said, his eyes sympathetic. "Sap– Dipper never told me. That must have been awful."

"Yeah, but we're okay," I said with a shrug.

Nodding, Imber turned his attention to the lake.

"So... how did you and my brother meet?" I asked, wanting to know the details of their relationship.

"We, uh," he furrowed his brows in thought, "we met about three months ago at the, um, at the diner."

"Are you two official?" I said, trying to hold back my smirk.

"O-official?" he said, his brows knit in confusion.

"Yeah, are you, you know, dating?"

His cheeks grew red, the color spreading to the edges of his face within seconds.

"Oh, um...." he looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I mean, I– I haven't officially courted him yet, but we have kissed a few times, so I don't–"

"Oh, this is so awesome!" I squealed, jumping up and down and grinning widely; finally my brother was dating again. "You're gonna date and fall in love and get married and have babies and– wait, you can't have babies. Well, you can always adopt. And you can hang out with my friends, and we can go on group dates, and it'll be so fun!" I continued, unaware that Imber was trying to get my attention. "Oh, this is so great for him! He never puts himself out there. I mean, he's been really closed off since our parents died, so–"

"Mabel," he said a bit louder. "We– we're just friends. We're not dating." My face fell.

"Why the hell not?" I said, hands on my hips. "What, is there something wrong with my brother?"

"No!" he quickly corrected, fear flashing in his eyes. "No, th-there's nothing wrong with him. I really like him, it's just– it– he said he wanted to take things slow, and I– I don't think he likes me," he said, looking down.

I let out a laugh. "Well, of course he likes you, dummy!" I said, rolling my eyes at Imber's obliviousness. "A twin can always tell."

"I– I guess..." he said quietly, running a hand through his messy hair, which collected behind his ears.

"Whoa, what the hell is up with your ears?" I said, taking a step back.

His eyes widening, he quickly tried to cover his pointed ears with his hair.

"N-nothing. They're normal human ears."

"'Normal human ears'? What are you, a vampire or something?" That would be so cool if Dipper was dating a vampire!

"Shit," he said, holding his hands over his ears. "It's nothing, Shooting Star, really."

A wave of terror swept over me, rooting me to the ground. I stared fearfully at him, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to run, to run away from the demon we'd fought so hard to get rid of. I trembled before him, regaining my composure enough to take in a shaky breath.

"Sh– Shooting... N-no, no, you can't... it's not possible...." I took a few steps back, nearly tripping on a rock.

"No, please, Mabel, I can explain," he said, stepping closer.

In that instant, all the memories of every horrible thing he did to me and my family flooded my mind. My fear was gone, replaced by pure hatred and rage at the sight of this demon.

I tackled him, pinned him to the ground so I could let my anger out on him. I punched him in the face, in the stomach, anywhere I could, anything to make him feel even a fraction of the pain I experienced. Blood poured from his nose, from his lip, but I continued, wanting to tear this horrible demon apart.

"You lying piece of shit!" I spat at him as I continued my attacks. "You– you should be dead! I can't believe I trusted you, you lying, manipulative– God, I'm gonna fucking kill you, you sick demon!"

Hearing footsteps behind me, I whipped around, panting, to see Dipper running towards us. I jumped from Cipher, shielding my brother from the demon. Cipher coughed, tried to sit up, but slipped and slammed back down, hitting his head on a rock. This time, the demon remained still.

"Mabel, what the hell is going on?" Dipper said, attempting to move past me.

"No, Dipper, get– get back!" I said, struggling to catch my breath while also keeping Dipper away. He finally managed to push me aside and knelt beside Cipher, cradling the demon in his arms.

"Imber! Come on, Imber, please talk to me," he said, panic in his voice. "Oh god, what have you done, Mabel? What the hell happened?"

"Me?!" I yelled in frustration. "Wh– He's the one that– He's Bill Cipher!"

Dipper's face paled. "H– how did you know that?"

"He's got those pointy ears and he called me– wait, you knew? You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"Well– I–"

But he was interrupted by Cipher's pained groans.

"Dipper," the demon whispered, coughing.

"Hey, it's okay, Bill, I'm right here," my brother said in a soothing voice, squeezing Cipher's hand. "You're gonna be okay. Do you think you can stand?"

Nodding, Cipher slowly got to a sitting position, wincing slightly. Dipper helped him stand, let Cipher lean on him for support. I gaped, shocked that my brother would continue being kind to this demon. Collecting myself, I shook my head and followed him as he headed back to the Mystery Shack.

"So, are you going to tell me what the hell is going on, or am I just supposed to pretend this demon being here is normal?"

"Alright, Mabel, there's no reason to be rude," said Dipper.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" I shrieked. "That is Bill Cipher, the demon who helped Gideon take the Shack, the demon who stole your body, almost destroyed the whole world, and tried to kill us multiple times!"

"Yeah, I'm aware," Dipper muttered, clearly annoyed. "Obviously he's changed, otherwise I wouldn't be here helping him. Mabel, please, I need you to trust me, or at least keep this to yourself. If Ford finds out, he'll kill him."

"Good," I said, glaring at him in frustration. "He's a demon, Dipper, and he deserves to die. It boggles my mind that you think he's somehow able to just flip over from the Dark Side. There's no way he didn't trick you or take over your mind or something!"

"I– I don't have my powers," said Cipher. "After you defeated me, I was stripped of my powers and sent here as a mortal."

I furrowed my brows, looking in disgust at the demon, then turned to my brother, ignoring Cipher.

"I still say we can't trust him," I said, anger rising. "He's probably only pretending to be a human to gain your sympathy!"

When he didn't respond, I huffed my breath, trying hard to stay calm.

"Dipper, Bill Cipher is a demon. He killed Grunkle Stan! He might not seem dangerous now, but soon he will take advantage of you, and I– I can't lose you. Not after what happened to Mom and Dad. We have to get rid of him."

At this, Dipper sighed, stopping to turn towards me.

"Mabel, look at my eyes," he said patiently. "They aren't yellow or slitted. Look at Bill. He's hurt, bleeding. He really is a human."

I stared at my brother, wanting to believe him. His eyes were indeed their normal brown, although they were filled with guilt and concern, for the demon, I realized.

"Alright, Dipper," I said, sighing in defeat. "I won't tell Grunkle Ford. But that doesn't mean I'm ready to forgive or trust Cipher."

Smiling gratefully at me, he adjusted Cipher's position on his shoulder and we continued through the forest.

Chapter Text

Bill: 

Pain is not hilarious, I thought as Dipper continued to carry my frail mortal body through the forest.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the look of terror in Mabel’s eyes, the anger and hatred she clearly felt towards me. And when Dipper came and cradled my head in his hands, his eyes were filled with so much pain. Before I’d come back as a human, I would have laughed at Mabel’s horrified face, at the genuine fear and concern on Dipper’s, but now… I didn’t know what to think.

God, what have I done to this family? What has this family done to me?

/⑅\

By the time we got back to the tourist trap, my head was feeling a lot better, and I didn’t have to rely on Dipper to help me walk. When we reached the door, Mabel pushed past her brother, storming inside and up the stairs. Dipper sighed.

He gestured for me to follow him, and led me to his room in the attic. When I sat down on his desk chair, Dipper told me to wait there, and he left, coming back a few minutes later with medical supplies, a damp towel, and a bag of frozen peas. He sat down on his bed, pulling on the armrest of the chair to bring me closer.

“Here, put this on your head where it hurts the most,” he said, handing me the peas.

Nodding, I did what he said, but he continued to look at me with worry in his eyes.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he said. “I just– I don’t want you to have a concussion.” I nodded again, managing a weak smile.

He pursed his lips. “How’s your head? Does it hurt? Do you have a headache?” I shook my head. “Are you dizzy? Nauseous? Are your ears ringing? Does your neck hurt? Do you feel like vomiting?”

I blinked in surprise at the stream of questions. “Um, no to all of them. Are you sure you don’t have a concussion?” I said with a small grin.

He rolled his eyes. “No, stupid, I don’t have a concussion. And I guess you probably don’t, either, but I’m glad I checked. It looked like you hit your head pretty hard.”

“It’s fine, my Sapling. I’m fine.” Dipper nodded, though worry still filled his beautiful eyes.

He frowned as he examined my wounded face, then sighed and began cleaning my cuts with the damp towel.

“Sapling, I’m okay, really,” I said, barely holding back a pained wince as he reached a particularly deep cut. “You don’t have to do this. I– I’ll be okay.”

Dipper smiled slightly, though it faded as he continued to clean my wounds.

“She– she wasn’t always so untrusting, so paranoid,” Dipper said softly after a moment. “She was happy, fun, full of laughter, always looking at the bright side, you know… before– before…”

His voice grew quiet, and he closed his eyes.

“Before your parents died,” I finished. He looked up at me in surprise. “Mabel told me.”

Nodding, he looked back down.

“After they… after it happened, she started acting strange — moody and unpredictable. Sometimes she would seem normal, but there were times when she would distance herself from everyone. When we went back to school and I started getting bullied again, Mabel got really protective. She would shout at them, threaten them, sometimes get into physical fights.” He sighed, setting the towel on his desk. After sifting through the various ointments, he chose one and began applying it to my cuts. “I guess it makes sense, she didn’t want to lose me, but I hated seeing her so sad, so scared.”

I laid a hand on his, gently caressing his soft skin, and he took it, smiling faintly.

“We turned eighteen a few months later, and we went to Gravity Falls to live with Great-Uncle Ford. Mabel pretty much stayed in her room most days. After a few months, she stopped going outside. About a year after it happened, she stopped coming out of her room to eat. I brought her meals to her for the most part, and every time I saw her I would try to get her up and out of bed, but she wouldn’t. Most days she wouldn’t even talk to me. But then…”

He set the medical supplies on his desk and looked up at me, a bright smile tugging at his lips as he cradled my head in his hands. The glowing warmth in his perfect face and in his sweet grin and in his beautiful brown eyes made something in me flutter, as though I’d eaten an eclipse of moths. Such weird meat-sack body spasms, I thought, trying to control the heat that spread across my face as Dipper continued.

“When I told her about how I made a friend, she started to brighten up a bit. I talked about you every day after we met. She started eating breakfast with me, and we would talk for hours. She finally left her room for the first time in over a year. I mean, it was just to help me pick out an outfit or tell me what to say, but it made me so happy to see her starting to go back to normal. I finally got her to leave the Shack to meet you, but I– I couldn’t tell her who you really were. I knew it would scare her, possibly make her close up again. I couldn’t do that to her. And I wish she didn’t hurt you, but honestly, after everything she’s been through, including all the things you did, I really don’t blame her for reacting the way she did.”

I looked down, ashamed.

“I’m really sorry Dipper,” I said after a moment. “For everything.”

“I know,” he said sweetly, wearing a kind smile.

After a moment, I furrowed my brows, suddenly remembering something. “What– what did Mabel mean when she said I killed Stanley? Wasn’t he the one who defeated me?”

Sighing through his nose, Dipper let go of my hand.

“Well, you didn’t kill him, but you… did.” I blinked in confusion, and he sighed. “After Grunkle Stan got his memories back, he and Ford went on adventures for about a year. Part of what they did was clean up leftover weirdness from when you tried to take over, and something went wrong, and… Stan died. I don’t know the details; Ford doesn’t like to talk about it.”

“Oh,” I said softly after a moment. “I– I’m so sorry, Dipper. Truly, I am. I didn’t realize how much you all have been through. I’m so sorry for the horrible things I’ve done to you and your family.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said, smiling slightly, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know you’ve changed, and I forgive you. I just hope I can get Mabel to forgive you, too.”

He paused, frowning, then left his room, coming back with a bundle of a sleeping bag in his arms. After laying it out, he grabbed a pillow from his bed.

“Here, you can take my bed,” he said.

“No, it’s okay, Sapling, I can sleep on the floor,” I said, getting up from the chair and stepping towards the sleeping bag.

“No, stupid,” he said, an amused smirk on his face. “You’re the guest, and you’ll take the bed.”

“Dipper…” I started, then looked down, ashamed. “I– I can’t. Please, I am not worthy of your kindness.”

Sighing, he nodded. “Alright, if you insist, I guess I’ll take the bed. You can get settled, I want to talk to Mabel.”

I nodded, still unable to meet his deep brown eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him walk towards me. I flinched, expecting him to hit me for saying something wrong, like my Master would. When nothing happened, I opened my eyes, surprised to see him smiling up at me.

Dipper cupped his hand around my cheek, and I leaned into his touch, his warmth. He held my gaze for a second before drifting closer and pressing his soft lips against mine. Closing my eyes, I smiled into him, wrapping my arms around his waist to bring him closer. He pulled away too soon, red in the face, and grinned as he left the room.

When the door shut behind him, I ran a hand down my face, collapsing back onto the chair as my guilt returned, welling inside me. I thought back to the day Dipper came to my cabin. Why did I let him in? Why did I allow my stupid mortal emotions get the better of me? Why did I have to be so selfish? Why couldn’t I have just taken the damn pie and let him leave, live out his life, away from all of my chaos and destruction? I could have just ignored what I felt for him and continued my prison sentence.

Why is he being so kind to me? I thought. I’ve done so many horrible things to him, to his family. I do not deserve his compassion, and he deserves so much better than me.

Oh, god, I thought, suddenly overwhelmed with panic. What if something happens to him? Something I can’t control, or worse, something I can control… something like my parents, my brother, my people….

The thoughts kept coming, images of Dipper’s dead body, his family’s dead bodies, flooding my mind, accompanied by horrible laughter.

They were only mortals, weak, insignificant mortals, due for extinction, my Master’s words, his cackle, echoed in my head. Flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams. You and I, we are the future. We are greater than the confines of this world. You are more powerful than you realize, but you are held back by your fragile emotions and attachments. Once you’re able to conquer your narrow mortal mind, you will be free to rule the multiverse….

My Master had just killed my parents in front of me; the murders and the following speech made me crack, made me lose control of my powers and destroy my dimension. So many lives I had ended, so many families I had broken apart, all because I was weak. I’d vowed that I would not become a slave to my mortal emotions, that I would rise above them. But now, with these strange feelings I had for Dipper, I had no idea what to think.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed away all thoughts of my parents. I slowly got up from Dipper’s chair, making my way downstairs and into the kitchen.

Chapter Text

Mabel:

All I could hear as I rocked back and forth on the floor was his insane laughter. I can’t believe I hadn’t recognized his voice, although it did sound a lot more normal, less distorted.

The cackling continued, and I felt a chill run down my spine as I recalled the time spent in the prison of the time bubble. Before I made it into a fantasy world, I’d been trapped in my thoughts, all echoing around me as I fell further into insanity.

I continued to rock back and forth, trying in vain to snap back into reality. Even Waddles, who sat on my bed next to me, couldn’t bring me comfort, though he tried. I was finally pulled from my thoughts when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I poked my head back through the neckhole of my sweater to see Dipper kneeling in front of me, his eyes full of concern.

“Hey,” he said, wiping a tear off my cheek. “I knocked, but I guess you didn’t hear me. Are you okay?”

I shook my head. “I– I just can’t wrap my head around this. I can’t believe he’s back. I can’t believe you trust him. But mostly I keep thinking of when I was stuck in that bubble. I mean, I don’t know much of what Weirdmaggedon was like outside of my bubble, but inside, it– it was scary, Dipper.”

“What do you mean?” he asked gently, his brows knitted in confusion. “I thought it was all fun and happy, and you could do whatever you wanted.”

“No, it was a nightmare,” I said, my voice shaking. “You had just told me you were going to leave me, and I was scared. When I woke up in the bubble, I was surrounded by all my thoughts, all my sadness, all my guilt, all my fear. I couldn’t handle it, so I just made everything stop. I turned the bubble into a fantasy so I wouldn’t have to think, wouldn’t have to feel. I didn’t know what was real, or how much time had passed before you came.”

Sniffing, I rubbed my nose with the sleeve of my sweater. “But during that time, I hated being without you, I hated the way we left things, so I– I made a b-better, more supportive Dipper. But he was fake, the whole damn place was fake, and yet I convinced myself that it was better. I didn’t want to face reality, so I just kept denying and denying and denying, even when you came to rescue me from that prison.”

I paused, wiped the tears from my cheeks. “Leaving the bubble was like waking up from a long sleep. I suddenly had to face everything, summer ending, leaving Gravity Falls, potentially separating from my twin, defeating a demon.”

Letting out a shaky breath, I turned to look at my brother, whose eyes held nothing but guilt and fresh tears. “When we left the bubble, the world was broken, the townsfolk were broken. I knew I couldn’t be. So I went back to my normal, happy self, continuing to deny and ignore and bottle up what I was really feeling. And it helped us defeat Cipher, but it– it didn’t help when Mom and Dad died.”

I sniffed, blinked back tears, and Dipper stared at me as though at a loss for words.

“Mabel,” he said, his voice soft and soothing. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. You know you don’t have to keep putting up a wall, right? You can tell me things, and I will listen. You’re my sister, Mabes. I’ll always be there for you.”

“I– I know, I’m just scared,” I choked out. “I’m scared that this isn’t real, that you’re n-not my brother. I’m scared that– that Cipher is in your head like he was in mine.”

“Oh, Mabel,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “I promise that I’m really me, not Bill.”

“Okay,” I said, pulling away after a moment and attempting a smile. “But I still don’t believe you about Cipher. After everything he’s done, after Grunkle Stan? I don’t know what he’s said or done to you to make you act this way, but Dipper, you need to remove whatever feelings you have for him and be smart about this.”

He blinked in surprise. “What? Mabel, I am being smart,” he insisted. “Bill regrets everything, Mabel. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I know it’s hard for you to forgive him, but he has changed. He hates himself for everything he’s done, not just to us, but to other beings in other dimensions.”

“I’m sorry, Dipper, I– I want to believe you, but… how can I? How can I believe that he’s capable of changing, of remorse, even? How can I know for sure that he isn’t just manipulating you? What has he said to you to make you trust him so much?”

He hesitated, as though he wasn’t sure himself. Then he let out a sigh, rubbing his eyes.

“I don’t know,” he said. “It’s hard to explain. When– when Mom and Dad died, I was a mess, you know that better than anyone. Bill is the same. He was in such a dark place when I met him, Mabel. He was constantly cutting himself, sometimes trying to kill himself. I– I couldn’t let him do that, even after he told me who he was. He lost everything, and he took his anger out on other dimensions, including his own. He’s only a boy trying to process his grief. He seemed so lonely, and I figured he needed a friend. I had you to help me through it all, but Bill had no one. So I want to be there for him, like you were there for me. And the more I’ve talked to him, the more I’ve started to realize that he isn’t the demon he once was.”

I nodded slightly, then furrowed my brows in confusion. “What did you mean when you said he lost everything?”

Dipper sighed. “Bill told me that his parents were killed in front of him. He cracked, destroyed his dimension, and tormented other worlds. Now he’s stuck here as a mortal. He’s been here for over a thousand years, but time resets every time he dies or becomes violent.”

“But– but that still means that there’s a chance he’ll do something bad, right?”

Dipper shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think he only did those things because he didn’t know how to process his grief. I think he’s just scared of getting close to someone, because he doesn’t want to lose them and have to feel that pain again. I mean, you remember what it was like to lose Mom and Dad — you kicked the asses of every bully who got anywhere near me.”

I let out a small laugh, and he smiled.

“But,” he said, his face contorting into one of guilt, “if you died in that fire as well, I– I would have completely lost it. Especially knowing that– that it was my fault.” His voice cracked slightly as he looked down.

“Dipper, you know it’s not your fault,” I said, but he still wouldn’t look at me.

“Yeah,” he said softly, “I know you don’t blame me, but I blame myself. I should have been more careful. It’s my fault.” I furrowed my brows, annoyed by his stubbornness.

“No, stop it. You can’t keep blaming yourself. It will only drive you insane, make you hate yourself. Just– let’s not talk about this, okay?”

“Alright,” he whispered, a small smile forming on his face. I could tell it was fake, but decided to let it be.

“You should get to bed,” I said, standing up. “It’s late, and you look really tired. I mean, I could fit my whole yarn stash in those eyebags of yours.”

Chuckling, he got up and walked to the door.

“Good night, Mabel,” he said with a smile; this time it reached his eyes.

“Good night, Bro-Bro.”

When the door was closed and I could no longer hear his footsteps, I let out an exasperated sigh, hugging my knees and burying my face in my arms.

/⑅\

After a while, I finally managed to calm myself down. I dried my eyes with my sweater and got up, patting Waddles’ head before making my way downstairs.

I entered the kitchen to see Cipher sitting at the table, a dark bruise on his right eye from where I hit him. He didn’t seem to notice me; his head was in his hands and his attention was fixed on a spot on the table.

“Honestly, I figured you’d be in the shower with Dipper,” I said, breaking the silence.

Cipher jumped, startled. He turned to me, his face tearstained, his eyes sunken and tired.

“What?” he said, his brows knit in confusion. “Wh-why would I want to be in the shower with Dipper? Isn’t he all– all…” His voice faded as he pursed his lips, growing red in the face.

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. “Never mind. What are you doing here?”

“Nothing,” said Cipher. “I was just thinking.”

I scoffed. “Plotting our demise, most likely,” I muttered, opening the fridge to look for something to eat.

“No, I wasn’t– I don’t–” he started. “Mabel, I’m not going to hurt anyone, I swear. And even if I wanted to, which I don’t, I can’t.”

“You really expect me to believe that you’ve changed?” I slammed the freezer door, glaring at him and pointing my Mabel Juice-Pop at him accusingly. “That you aren’t forming some sort of long term plan to take over Gravity Falls and kill my family? You may have fooled Dipper, but you’re not gonna fool me. I see right through you, Cipher.”

He blinked, his eyes showing a hint of fear, but I knew it was fake. It had to be.

“Mabel, I– I’m not planning anything, I promise,” he said, then paused. “If you must know, I was thinking about my family when you came in.”

“Oh,” I said, genuinely taken aback, but I quickly regained myself. “Dipper told me about that. But– but you probably killed them, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” he whispered, closing his eyes. “I’m the reason they’re dead. It’s my fault, I should have been more careful.”

It’s my fault. Dipper’s words echoed in my mind.

Stop it, you can’t keep blaming yourself. It will only drive you insane, make you hate yourself.

“Wh– what happened?” I asked, sympathy slowly starting to overpower my hatred for him. “How did your parents die?”

He sighed. “When I was young, I made a deal I shouldn’t have with a powerful being. He tricked me, killed my parents and my brother.”

“Your brother?” I said quietly. Dipper didn’t tell me he had a brother.

Nodding, Cipher looked at me with pain in his eyes. “Yes, my brother, Will, died first. He died because I was stupid and greedy and reckless.”

I furrowed my brows, conflicted. “I– I’m sorry that happened,” I said after a moment.

“It’s fine,” he said, shrugging. “I’ve moved past it.” His face remained blank, but there was a slight crack in his voice.

Pursing my lips, I shifted in my stance. It was so weird seeing this demon acting like this, like a person, but here he was. Either he really was a human, really had changed, really did like my brother, or this was all a trick, and even thinking about trusting him would kill us all.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, taking a step towards the stairs.

“W-wait,” he said softly, and I turned to face him.

Letting out a sigh, Cipher’s eyes met mine, full of guilt as he spoke up again. “Mabel, I am so, so sorry for everything. I’m sorry for hurting you and your family, for causing you all so much pain. I know you probably don’t believe me, but I just want you to know how much I regret everything. I hope you can eventually forgive me, but I understand that forgiveness isn’t something I deserve. I want you to know that I’m trying to change, and I really care for your brother.”

I faltered, still scared that this was some sort of trick. Could Dipper really have helped him change?

After a moment, I sighed, walking up the stairs to leave. “I– I’m gonna go to bed,” I said. Nodding, he looked back down at the table. I went back to my room and sat on my bed to process everything.

Chapter Text

Bill:

An hour later, I ran a hand down my face, checking the time. Letting out a heavy sigh, I got up and made my way back upstairs.

I entered Dipper's bedroom to see him asleep at his desk. His face was pressed against papers, surrounded by pens and notes and open books. He looked so peaceful. I quietly walked in, not wanting to wake him up. I carefully lifted Dipper out of his chair without disturbing the papers around him, and gently laid him on his bed.

I touched his face, memorizing it, and ran my fingers through his soft, curly hair. I felt an urge to crawl into the bed with him, to hold him, to feel his heartbeat and his breathing.

But I shoved the feeling down, not wanting to disturb him. Instead, I brought my face close to his, laid a kiss on his forehead. I took one last look at his sleeping figure before slowly letting my hand fall to my side, turning off his lamp and curling up in the sleeping bag.

/⑅\

I tossed and turned on the floor for a few hours before finally giving up. Slowly slithering out of the sleeping bag, I crept downstairs to get a drink of water. I quickly came back, gently closing the door behind me, but paused when I heard a soft whimpering sound. My eyes having easily adjusted to the dark, I looked around and saw Dipper trembling in his bed.

Slowly moving away from the door, I knelt in front of his bed. Dipper's face was scrunched in fear and coated in sweat, his breathing shallow and uneven. I felt something in me crumble as he let out another whimper, clutching his blanket tight. I hesitated, then placed a hand on his cheek, gently running my fingers through his soft hair in an attempt to comfort him.

For a moment, I felt him relax, but he quickly tensed back up and continued to fidget in his bed. His tossing worsened, until he finally gasped, snapping to a sitting position.

"No!" he cried. He covered his face and sobbed into his hands.

"Hey, it's okay, Dipper, you're okay," I said soothingly as I held him close to me, stroking the back of his neck with my thumb.

Sobbing into my shoulder, his arms tightened around me and his breathing shook. A few moments passed, and when he had calmed down and his body started to relax, I gently let go of him, going back to the sleeping bag.

"W-wait," Dipper whispered. I turned back to look at him. "Stay with me. P-please."

I hesitated, unsure, but gave in when I saw the anguish in his eyes.

"Alright," I said, climbing into the bed with him.

I tried to put as much space between us as possible, scared to succumb to the strange emotions I was feeling, but Dipper pulled me close to him, buried his face into my chest. Letting out a shaky breath, I relaxed into his warmth, wrapping my arms around him in a protective hold and feeling at ease as he fell back to sleep in my arms.

/⑅\

I opened my eyes, smiled at the sleeping boy next to me. Bringing my face close to his, I pressed my nose against his neck and breathed in his snowy scent. He stirred slightly, enough to let me know that he was awake.

Smiling, I touched his face, his hair, his lips with my hand, every part of him becoming so impossibly precious. He twined his arms around my neck, his mouth meeting mine in a kiss that completely knocked the world out from under me. After a while, I gently pulled away, though every part of me wanted to stay there with him. I tried to sit up, but Dipper continued to hold onto me.

"Nooooo," he whined, pulling me back down.

Chuckling, I dragged the both of us to a sitting position.

"Billlll," he whimpered, his eyes still closed. "I don't wanna get up."

"But it's morning, Sapling," I said, failing to hold back a laugh as he clung to my arm. "You have to get up. We still need to find those crystals, remember? Come on, it'll be fun. We can spend the whole day together."

Dipper grumbled a response, slowly letting go of my arm. After yawning and stretching, he finally blinked and looked up at me.

"There, I missed those beautiful eyes," I said, smiling as red dusted his cheeks.

Brushing his long, messy hair out of his face, I pulled him close and placed a kiss on his soft lips. I then looked down, felt my face heat up at the sight of his tented shorts. I may be a demon, but I knew enough about human physiology to know that there were very few reasons for that to happen. My embarrassment quickly faded as an idea came to me.

"Aw, I didn't realize you enjoyed the kiss that much," I hummed, grinning widely.

Dipper blinked in confusion, then glanced down at his morning wood and jumped from the bed, blushing furiously.

"I– it– it's not–" Dipper sputtered out while I tried in vain to contain my laughter.

"Damnit, Bill, g-get out so I can get dressed," he said firmly, though his face was still a vibrant red. He shoved me out of his room, closing the door.

Still laughing, I leaned against a wall as I tried to regain myself. When I had calmed down a bit, I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh. I replayed the moment, unable to rid my mind of the memory of his sweet grin, his beautiful dark eyes, his intoxicating scent, his soft, warm lips.

"Um, are you okay?"

I opened my eyes to see Mabel standing in front of me, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Uh, um, yeah, I-I'm fine," I said, trying to contain myself before the tightness of my pants became visible. God, human vessels are weird, I thought.

"You didn't... do anything with my brother last night, did you?" she asked, her tone threatening.

"What?" I said, confused. "What would I have done? I don't want to hurt him, if that's what you mean."

She rolled her eyes. "No, 'did you fuck him' is what I meant. But I'm guessing you didn't, did you?"

"N-no," I said, trying to get the image of Dipper's morning wood out of my head. "I respect Pine Tree too much to do anything that would make him uncomfortable. And anyway, my species has strict rules against copulating with someone you aren't mated with."

"Oh," she replied, relaxing a bit. "Well, that's good."

I followed her downstairs and into the kitchen, where Ford was pouring himself a cup of coffee. I froze, pulling my hair over my ears just as he turned around.

"Ah, Imber, I didn't realize you stayed the night."

"Y-yes, sir," I said nervously. "I slept in Dipper's b– in Dipper's room."

I mentally facepalmed at my slip-up. Ford didn't seem to notice, but I saw Mabel's brows crease out of the corner of my eye.

"What happened to your eye?" Ford asked slowly.

"Oh, yesterday I, um... fell," I said. He furrowed his brows in suspicion, but didn't say anything more.

"Anyway," Mabel interrupted, "is Dipper up?"

"He was still a bit tired when I got up, so he might be a wh–"

I was cut off by a yawn coming from behind me, and turned to see Dipper walking through the doorway of the kitchen. A grin spread from ear to ear at the adorably sleepy look on Dipper's face.

"Good morning, guys," he said with another yawn. Something in me fluttered when he turned to me, a sweet smile tugging at his lips. "Morning, Imber." I frowned slightly at the memory of my parents and brother dying in front of me.

"Ah, good morning, Dipper," Ford said after taking a long sip from his mug. "I'm glad you're awake. I need you to keep up the search for geodite crystals."

"Aw, Ford, can't I wake up a bit first? I would need to pack my bag, and I haven't even had breakfast yet."

Stanford furrowed his brows in annoyance, making a part of me want to slap some sense into him. However, the urge quickly left when the man sighed in defeat.

"Yes, I suppose you can have a quick breakfast, but I'd like you to leave as soon as possible, half an hour at the latest."

With that, Ford left the kitchen and went into the giftshop.

"What the fuck was that about?" I said when I heard the vending machine door close. "I thought Ford was supposed to be taking care of you two. Shouldn't he be more understanding and not so... controlling?"

Dipper sighed. "I don't know. I can kind of understand where he's coming from. He's needed some amount of control, after..." he paused, turning around to make sure Ford had really left, "after Grunkle Stan died. Ford blames himself. He thinks that if he had been more careful, he could have saved his brother."

I furrowed my brows, conflicted. "I guess that makes sense," I muttered after a moment. "But still, he should be more considerate."

Dipper only shrugged, walking past me to get breakfast.

/⑅\

Twenty minutes later, I stumbled into Dipper's room, carefully closing the door behind me.

"I got the snacks you wanted," I said, gently laying everything out on his bed.

Smiling, he thanked me and put the food in his bag. He paused, his brows furrowed as though he was deep in thought. Before I could ask him what was on his mind, the door swung open, startling both me and Dipper.

"I'm coming with you," Mabel stated as she entered the room.

Dipper beamed. "You are?" he said excitedly.

"Yes," she said, then added, "but only because I don't want you to be alone with him." She gestured to me, but wouldn't meet my eyes. Dipper's smile faded.

"Mabel, I've told you that he can be trusted. Don't you believe me?"

"I believe you think he can be trusted. That doesn't mean that he can be. And even if he can, I don't think I'm quite ready to."

Frowning, Dipper looked away. "I guess there's not much I can do to show you that he's changed, is there?"

"Not really," she said simply, to which Dipper sighed.

"Alright. Well, I'm still glad you're coming. It'll be good for you, and it's nice to have an extra person to help look for crystals."

Mabel nodded. "Great. I'll go get ready, and I'll meet you downstairs," she said, leaving the room.