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Chapter Text

For the most part, Agatha thought her marriage was perfect. Ralph was gentle, funny, and good-natured. It wasn’t Agatha’s fault that she was all rough angles, pessimistic, and sarcastic. Opposites attract and all that. And Ralph had been hopelessly, desperately attracted to her. From the moment they met during peer orientation at UMass Amherst in 1948.

Ralph was Agatha’s orientation group leader. He was a rising junior tasked with showing the incoming freshman the ins and outs of University life. Ralph took a shine to Agatha the moment he laid eyes on her. No boys in her high school had ever looked at Agatha the way he did—like she was worth something. By the end of Freshman orientation week, Ralph had asked her to go steady with him. Agatha had said yes simply because she couldn’t think of a reason to say no. 

Now, almost seven years later, Agatha understood that they made a good team. Ralph was the light to her darkness, the calm to the storm brewing inside of her. Agatha knew that she’d never been in love with Ralph, but she reasoned that it was just something she wasn’t capable of. Her inability to be in love was part of her innate wrongness.

Agatha’s mother, Evanora, had frequently told Agatha that she wasn’t worthy of being loved. Agatha’s existence ruined her mother’s life. She’d been conceived out of wedlock, and it was Evanora’s greatest shame. 

When Agatha was living under her mother’s roof, Evanora constantly berated her. Agatha was dragged  to church at least four times a week to cast out the evil in her. Somewhere along the way, Agatha learned to be a good catholic girl, despite being the only stain on her mother’s pure white soul. 

And because Agatha was a good catholic girl, she married Ralph. Their life together was fine—picture perfect even. They owned a lovely three-bedroom home with a picket fence and a healthy lawn. They lived in the small New England town of Westview, where they’d both completed masters degrees in History.

Ralph held a tenure-track position at the University, and Agatha, who had originally been taken on as a spousal hire, was in the running to take over for a newly retired professor. 

Agatha knew that she should feel some sort of happiness, or at least gratitude, but lately she had felt like her life was meaningless. The one class she taught (Until Lilia Calderu retired at the end of last year, there was no room for another full-time position) was not enough for her to feel purposeful. 

Agatha hoped and prayed that once she was in Lilia’s job, with the chance to teach a real course load and have funding for research, the monotony of her day-to-day life would go away. 

Under the satin covers of the queen bed she shared with Ralph, Agatha lay still, wishing she had her own bedroom. Ralph was a warm sleeper, and his snoring had been getting particularly bad lately. 

Agatha listened to Ralph finish brushing his teeth. She closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep already, not wanting to fake another headache to get Ralph to leave her alone. 

It would be the third headache this week, and she didn’t want to see the disappointed look on Ralph’s face yet again. 

Agatha had thought that after three years of marriage, Ralph’s teenage-like enthusiasm for sex would have disappeared, or she would have figured out how to get love-making to stop hurting so badly. 

For Agatha, sex was something to be endured. She’d long ago managed to hide her grimaces and not cry out in pain when Ralph was on top of her, but lately the effort was too much, and turning him down had been easier than pretending she enjoyed being with him. 

Agatha smelled the powdery fragrance of Ralph’s body soap as he approached the bed. She listened to his careful footsteps and smiled. Despite his faults, there was something comforting about his presence. 

A gentle fondness for her husband bloomed through Agatha, and she opened one eye ever so slightly, just to make sure he was alright. She heard him laugh beside her. 

“Aggie, I know you’re awake.” 

His voice was soft and kind. She could hear his teasing smile. Agatha sighed and opened her eyes fully, looking at him. “Honey, I have another headache.” 

Ralph frowned and gently used one of his large hands to brush Agatha’s hair off her forehead. 

“You’ve been getting a lot of those lately,” Ralph said softly and placed his other hand on Agatha’s lower belly. He splayed his fingers over her cotton nightgown. 

Agatha took in his big blue eyes, mop of curly brown hair, and the light dusting of freckles on his nose. 

“I’ll go see a doctor if I get another one,” Agatha lied. 

Ralph smiled, “You don’t think you might be-”

Agatha slams her eyes shut and groans against her pillow. Ralph had been anything but subtle about his desire to start a family. 

“Hon, I’m still using the diaphragm.” She told him, trying to find an ounce of patience. 

“I know, but it’s not always one hundred percent effective,” Ralph told her, and she was annoyed at the hopeful tone of his voice. 

Agatha let out a slow breath. 

“I thought we agreed not to try for a baby until I’m more settled in my position at the university.” 

Ralph nodded, “I know. I just thought maybe this could be some good news. A distraction for you.” Ralph paused, and Agatha looked at him, confused. 

“Dr. Hart didn’t tell you?” Ralph asked. 

Agatha’s stomach dropped. “Tell me what, Ralph?” 

“They’re going with the other candidate to fill Lilia’s position.” 

Agatha’s breath caught in her throat, and tears pooled in her eyes. She felt like the room was closing in on her. 

“Don’t be sad, Aggie.” Ralph soothed and gathered Agatha in his arms. 

“Some things aren't meant to be. The hiring committee knew that we’re trying for a family and went with a candidate who’s not married and won’t be impacted by motherhood. You can’t blame them for wanting someone who will stay in the position long term.” 

Agatha felt nauseous at his words. 

“Ralph, we’re not trying for a family yet.” She told him, hating the way her voice caught on the words, showing her feelings. 

“Did you tell the hiring committee that we’re trying to get pregnant right now?” Agatha whispered, not certain if she actually wanted to hear his answer. 

“No!” Ralph swore. Agatha believed him. 

Ralph looked at her guiltily, “But Dr. Hart did ask me if we were planning on having kids, and I was honest. He didn’t ask about a timeline. What should I have done, Aggie, lied?”  Ralph asked gently, looking at her with big puppy dog eyes. 

He doesn’t know any better, Agatha told herself, and tried her best to believe it. She sniffled into Ralph’s shoulder. Ralph wrapped his arms tightly around her and made soothing noises into her hair. 

“I’m sorry, angel,” Ralph whispered, and Agatha knew she needed to let this go. 

She sighed heavily. Ralph is a good person, she told herself, he’s doing his best. 

“It’s alright, hon. Just get some sleep.” She tells him in a small voice, hoping he couldn’t hear the anger bubbling beneath the surface of her words. 

“I love you, Agatha,” Ralph said, softly kissing her temple.

Agatha smiled weakly in response. “I know”. 

…

Agatha woke up the next morning and cooked Ralph’s favorite breakfast: soft-boiled eggs, pan-fried potatoes, and bacon. She cooked in her bathrobe and wondered if there was even a point in getting dressed for the day. It’s not like she had anywhere to be. 

Ralph came downstairs already in his suit. He had to go to a meeting for full-time faculty members. Agatha tried to stay level-headed as she watched him scarf down his breakfast. She should be the full-time professor. 

Agatha had always been the better scholar between her and Ralph. She’s had twice as many papers published as him, and his published papers have all been heavily edited by her. Agatha had always known that Ralph would have an easier time getting a job because he was a man, but she hadn’t expected it to be this unfair. 

Ralph finished his breakfast and looked at her with a small frown. “Try not to be so blue, Aggie.” 

Agatha took his plate to the sink and began to wash it instead of responding to him. 

“They’re still letting you teach intro to world history”, he reminded her, “My girl’s not out of the race yet!” He said cheerfully. 

Agatha plastered on a smile that felt as fake as a paper moon. 

“Don’t worry about me. Have a great day, hon.” 

Agatha followed her husband to the front door. She took his coat out of the closet and helped him into it, like she always did. He bent down to kiss her and lingered just long enough for Agatha to want his hot breath away from her. 

“Remember, tonight we have the faculty dinner at the Hart’s. You won’t need to cook.” He gave her a wink. Once, she would have found it charming, but now it causes something unpleasant to unfurl inside of her.

“I’ll be back at five,” He told Agatha, and she seriously considered going back to bed and staying there until four-thirty. 

Agatha stared out of the window and watched as Ralph drove away. She lingered by the window too long and accidentally made eye contact with Wanda Maximoff, her next-door neighbor and the nosiest woman Agatha has ever met.

 Wanda was watering her rose bushes and waved enthusiastically at Agatha. Agatha raised her hand to Wanda in a half-hearted greeting. 

Wanda smiled widely, put down her watering can, and marched across her lawn straight to Agatha's front door. Wanda was somehow already entirely made up for the day, wearing plaid capris and a collared shirt. Her red hair was as shiny and bouncy as ever, and Agatha tried to smooth her own wayward curls into something presentable as Wanda approached. 

Since Ralph and Agatha moved in three years ago, Wanda had been under the misguided impression that she and Agatha were friends. Sure, Agatha tolerated Wanda more than she tolerated most people, but that wasn’t saying all that much.

“Hiya neighbor!” Wanda greeted Agatha as soon as she opened the door. Agatha shuddered at the woman’s cheeriness. 

“You haven’t had your coffee yet?” Wanda asked with a sympathetic smile. 

Agatha glared at her. “It’s not even eight am yet.” 

Wanda laughed too loudly. “You know me, up with the sun! When you and Ralph have kids, I’m sure you’ll become a morning person.” 

Agatha rolled her eyes, but opened her door wider, gesturing for Wanda to come inside. She knew from experience that resisting a Wanda visit was futile. 

“I’ll put the kettle on,” Agatha mumbled and watched as Wanda took in the messy and lived-in state of Agatha’s home. 

“Y’know, if you ever need tips and tricks on how to tidy up, I’m happy to share my secrets”, Wanda said and sat down at the kitchen table. 

Agatha grunted in response, put the kettle on, and took out two teacups. 

“So,” Wanda said after a moment's silence, “I was surprised to hear about the new History hire.”

Agatha looked at the other woman, shocked. 

“You knew, too?” She asked. Agatha took the hissing kettle off the heat with a little too much force. 

Wanda’s husband, Vision, was the head of the Mathematics department at the University. Wanda had actually been his student. He was a first-year professor during her last year of college. A saving grace for Wanda, who had all but given up on getting her ‘MRS’ degree. Despite not working at the University, Wanda had a deep love for faculty gossip. 

“Ralph told Vis the other week, I was surprised you hadn’t brought it up to me yet.” Wanda waited a moment for Agatha to say something. Agatha remained silent. 

“Vis mentioned that he heard you and Ralph were ‘trying’, so I figured you decided to rescind your application,” Wanda said, raising her eyebrow at Agatha mischievously. 

“Nope,” Agatha said, aggressively smiling, trying to match Wanda’s overzealous cheer. 

“So, no news you’d like to share with me this morning?” Wanda smirked as Agatha poured the hot water into the teacups.

“No news,” Agatha said through gritted teeth, and Wanda looked slightly embarrassed. 

“I just thought….well, you’ve been looking…I-” Wanda floundered. 

“I look like shit because I feel like shit. Not because I’m pregnant.” Agatha snapped. 

“You don’t look like” Wanda dropped her voice “Shit.” Wanda eyed Agatha carefully, “You just look tired, stressed.” 

Wanda perked up. “I know what will help!” She announced, and Agatha felt bad for this creature who thought she could solve all the world’s problems. 

“You just need to get out of the house. Come to story time at the library with me and the boys. Billy’s been asking when he can visit Aunt Agatha, anyway.” 

Agatha is still not sure how exactly she was deemed Wanda’s twin sons’ aunt, but she begrudgingly had to admit that she didn’t hate it. The library wasn’t the worst idea. Spending time with the boys always brightened her mood, and she had a few books to return. 

Agatha sighed heavily, if only to prevent Wanda from thinking she cured and therefore understood Agatha’s melancholy. 

“Fine, I’ll come,” Agatha grumbled, and pretended to listen as Wanda caught her up on everything that was going on in her very busy life. 

…

A few hours later, Agatha was dressed in her gingham dress, her hair was set, and she had even applied lipstick. She was just gathering the books she wanted to return to the library, a few Agatha Christie novels, when she heard a knock on her door. 

“Auntie Agatha, we have to go now!” Billy’s voice rang through her living room as she made her way to the door. The kid sure did have a set of pipes. 

“I heard there’s a new law against little boys screaming,” Agatha warned as she opened the door. Tommy was cowering behind Billy, looking fearfully at Agatha. 

“Don’t worry, she’s just kidding.’ Billy told Tommy with a smile, giving Agatha a perfect view of the gap where his two front teeth should have been. 

“I dunno, might have to make a quick stop at the police station on our way to storytime.” Agatha grinned. 

Billy rolled his eyes, a gesture that was entirely too teenage for a six-year-old boy. 

“C’mon, Aunt Agatha.” Billy urged and grabbed her hand. 

His hand was slightly sticky, but Agatha ignored that and let him pull her out the door. Wanda stood at the top of the driveway with her arms crossed and smiled. 

“They wanted to practice visiting by themselves.” Wanda explained, “How’d they do?”

“Aunt Agatha said we’re going to jail!” Tommy cried. He always spoiled the fun. 

“I did no such thing,” Agatha scoffed, but Wanda was already on her knees, wrapping Tommy in a protective hug. 

“You know what we say about Aunt Agatha,” Wanda told her boys. 

“She’s all bark and no bite!” They chorused back at her. It would have been cute if it weren’t so insulting. And false. 

Wanda stood back up and began to walk to the library, and Tommy sped ahead and ran in circles around her. Billy hung back, still holding Agatha’s hand. 

“I know you have a little bite,” He told her, and Agatha stared at him, baffled that she was seen so clearly by a six-year-old. 

“Thanks, kid,” She told him, and they walked hand in hand to the library. 

…

The lady doing story time had the weirdest voice Agatha had ever heard. It made her skin crawl. Agatha only made it through the first few pages of Curious George before she turned to Wanda and told her to find her when the torture was over. 

Agatha was bent down looking at the bottom shelf of the mystery section when something crashed roughly into her back. She slammed into the bookcase, and a few hard covers tumbled to the ground. Agatha turned, ready to give the idiot with no depth perception who just ran into her hell, when she was distracted by a warm, soft hand helping her up. 

She looked up to see her attacker's face, and was met with a pair of eyes the same shade of brown as the bark on Agatha’s favorite tree in her childhood yard. 

Agatha’s ability to form words had seemingly disappeared, and Agatha blinked slowly at the woman in front of her. She was so symmetrical, and her lips looked so plush. Agatha wondered if her dark brown shoulder-length hair would be smooth or fuzzy to the touch. Her breasts were perfect, her stomach was flat, and her legs went on for miles under her sporty dress. Agatha had always dreamed of having a body like that. 

“Are you okay?” The woman asked. 

Agatha nodded, and inexplicably—almost as if someone else had taken over her body—giggled, girlishly. 

“I didn’t see you down there,” the woman frowned, “I’m so sorry I walked right into you.”

Agatha saw that the woman was holding this month's edition of “History Now”. 

“You like History?” Agatha asked, surprised. This woman didn’t seem like the type to be into “History Now”. Beautiful people weren’t historians. 

The woman smiled, and Agatha felt her heart speed up. There was an adorable little space between her two front teeth. 

“I am! Especially anything medieval.” The woman beamed. 

Agatha had written her master's thesis on the medieval witch trials. 

“Me too,” Agatha said, and the woman’s face lit up. She pushed the magazine into Agatha’s hands. 

“You should take this! A friend of mine wrote an article about the medieval peasant’s diet. It’s pretty good!” 

Agatha blinked, surprised. She held her hand up, refusing the magazine. 

“My husband and I are subscribers. I have one at home,” Agatha explained. 

Strangely, the woman looked slightly confused and disappointed. She recovered quickly and raised an eyebrow at Agatha. “Are you affiliated with Westfield University?” The woman asked. 

Agatha was about to respond, but she heard Billy yell out to her. “Aunt Agatha!”

“Shh!” She turned to Billy, “inside voice!”

“Sorry,” Billy whispered, but it was still too loud. The woman looked at Billy and smiled, amused. 

“Storytime is over. Mom said you can buy me ice cream now,” Billy whispered-shouted. 

“Oh, can I?” Agatha asked sarcastically. 

“Wait!” The woman reached out and grabbed Agatha’s elbow, holding her back. “Before you go, I’m new in town and would love to have a friend, especially a fellow history buff. Could I get your number?” 

Agatha was taken aback by this. She nodded and pulled out a slip of paper, jotting down her number quickly. She handed it to the woman, and their hands touched briefly. Agatha was surprised again by how soft her skin was. 

“I’m Rio,” the woman smiled as she accepted Agatha’s contact info. Agatha nodded dumbly. 

“You’re supposed to tell her your name now, too,” Billy whispered, and Agatha flushed scarlet. 

“It’s Agatha,” She finally choked out. 

“Te videbo, Agatha.” Rio grinned and Billy pulled Agatha away. 

“Why did she make up words?” Billy asked, and Agatha laughed. She felt lighter than she had in weeks. 

“That was medieval Latin. It means see ya later, alligator.” 

“In a while, crocodile,” Billy grinned, and inspired by his words, ran away from Agatha to join Wanda and Tommy, who were waiting outside the library. 

…

After ice cream, Agatha had just enough time to put her hair into a French twist, redo her makeup, and change into a lilac cocktail dress before she and Ralph had to go to the Hart’s dinner party. 

Ralph came in to check on her just as she was putting in her solitaire diamond earrings, Ralph’s present for her twenty-sixth birthday last year.

“Mrs. Bohner, you look absolutely gorgeous this evening,” Ralph said smoothly, walking up to Agatha and placing his hands around her waist. He pressed himself into Agatha and gave a wet kiss to her neck. Agatha ignored this and continued to fasten her earring. 

“My lovely wife,” Ralph husked, and Agatha felt his manhood push against her as he reached up to grope her breast. 

“You’re going to wrinkle my dress,” She admonished, stepping out of his grasp. 

“I won’t wrinkle it if you take it off,” Ralph murmured. 

Agatha bit her lip. She knew she shouldn’t turn him down again. It had been a week since they’d last had sex. Agatha knew it was only a matter of time before Ralph would start looking elsewhere for what she wasn’t giving him. 

Ralph sensed her hesitation. “I know, Aggie. We can’t be late for dinner at the boss's house.” He told her with an understanding smile. 

“Raincheck?” She offered weakly, and he beamed before lightly smacking her ass. 

The car ride to the Hart’s was quick, but Agatha was on edge for the entire drive. Ralph reached over and settled his hand on Agatha’s knee. It was too warm, and Agatha felt trapped. 

“I let Dr. Hart know that I broke the news to you about the new hire,” Ralph said lightly. 

Agatha stiffened in her seat. 

“I think tonight might be easier if you don’t bring it up at all, honey.”

Agatha huffed. “What do you think I’m going to do, Ralph? Walk right in and say ‘Hiya, Dr. Hart. I heard you passed me over because you’re too afraid I’m going to get knocked up. Lovely weather we’re having.” Agatha's voice had a tinny false brightness. 

“Don’t be crass, Aggie.” Ralph frowned. 

Agatha pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s just not fair. I’m the best candidate for the job and they won’t hire me because I’m a woman.”

Ralph squirmed uncomfortably and loosened his collar. Agatha knew her husband like the back of her hand—He was hiding something from her. 

“Ralph,” She said sternly. 

Ralph gulped, and a bead of sweat trickled down the side of his neck. “The new hire is also a woman.” 

“EXCUSE ME?!” Agatha shrieked and banged her hand against the dashboard of the car. 

“She’s unmarried, and I think that’s what made the difference.” Ralph sighed heavily, “I can’t help but feel like I’m holding you back. I’m sorry, Aggie.”

Agatha stared at Ralph. If you were sorry, you’d let me free, she thought bitterly. 

Maybe that was unfair. Ralph loved her and needed her. And, she needed Ralph. Without him, she’d never have considered getting a master's degree. She would have returned to Salem after college, likely taken the veil, and taught at the catholic school she grew up going to. Ralph saved her from a lifetime of boredom and far too much proximity to her mother. 

 You don’t hold me back, Agatha sighed, placing her hand on top of Ralph’s, which still rested on her knee. “I love you, hon.”

Ralph looked at her and beamed, taking his eyes completely off the road. 

“Focus on driving!” Agatha laughed, “You’re going to get us killed!

“But we’d die hopelessly in love!” He declared melodramatically. 

She lightly smacked him upside the head. “Pull it together, Romeo.” 

…

Sharon Hart, the wife of Dr. Hart, head of the history department,  opened the door to her home with a wide smile, ushering Agatha and Ralph inside. 

“Perfect! Now everyone is here!” She chirped. 

“Thank you for having us, Mrs. Hart” Ralph said easily, wrapping his arm around Agatha’s waist. 

Mrs. Hart walked over to the bar cart and handed Ralph a martini. Agatha waited for her own, but it never came. Mrs. Hart gestured for Ralph and her to sit down. 

“We left the loveseat for the newlyweds,” Mrs. Hart laughed at her own joke. 

“We’ve been married three years,” Agatha reminded her, testily. 

“That’s nothing! Sharon and I have been married for almost thirty years!” Dr. Hart announced, walking into the room and followed by the newly retired professor Lilia Calderu, and to Agatha’s absolute shock—-Rio, from the library. Obviously, the new female hire. 

Agatha looked at Rio’s confident smirk, and felt rage. How could she ever have possibly thought this person could be a friend to her. Rio looked so pretentious and full of herself in her cigarette pants and men’s sports coat.  Poor Mrs. Hart probably had a heart attack at the sight of it. 

“Agatha!” Rio smiled brightly, and Agatha realized this bitch had no idea that they were enemies.  “What a surprise.” 

“You’ve met?” Lilia asked, looking between Agatha and Rio. Agatha was not the biggest fan of Lilia Calderu’s kooky personality, but she did respect her as a lecturer and scholar. 

Rio nodded enthusiastically, smiling so Agatha could see the dumb little gap between her front teeth. 

“At the library. You left before I had a chance to ask if you were on faculty at the University”

Dr. Hart was about to say something , but Lilia cut in smoothly “Agatha is a gifted historian. We were all shocked that she didn’t take the position you were hired for, actually.” 

Agatha was surprised that Lilia was in her corner. Too bad she wasn’t on the hiring committee. 

Rio looked at Agatha, confused. “So how are you affiliated with the department, then?”  Agatha watched Rio belatedly register the way Ralph’s hand was possessively resting on the small of Her back. 

“Ah! You’re Bohner’s wife!” 

Ralph beamed, “Rio, this is my girl, Aggie.” He turned to Agatha and looked slightly nervous, “Honey, this is Rio Vidal, the new hire.” He gave Agatha  a meaningful look that she knew was a silent plea for her to play nice. 

Agatha grinned, all teeth, and too bright. “That’s me! Just the wife.” 

“No!” Ralph quickly defended. “Aggie is a brilliant scholar, and she teaches the Intro to World History course.”

Rio looked at Agatha, almost daring her to say something else. What did she want Agatha to say, You stole my job from right under my nose? 

“They uh, wanted to go with a spinster, I suppose,” Rio joked. Agatha rolled her eyes. Rio was stunning. No spinster was that good looking.

“Well You know how it is” Dr. Hart chuckled. “Soon The Bohner’s will be starting a family and we needed someone who could give their full attention to the department.”

Agatha looked at Rio, expecting to see triumph in her face. Instead, Rio was looking at Dr. Hart with poorly concealed disgust. 

“I wouldn’t underestimate Agatha” Rio told Dr. Hart

Agatha looked at her incredulously. This woman didn’t know her. Why was she defending her?

A timer went off in the kitchen and Mrs. Hart perked up. 

“That’s our roast! Agatha, will you help me in the kitchen while the professors chat?” Mrs. Hart asked. 

Agatha didn’t point out that she was also a professor and obediently went to the kitchen. 

Once they were alone, Mrs Hart turned to Agatha, almost cornering her. 

“Well, dear, you’re absolutely glowing this evening. Any news you’d like to share?

Agatha balked. What was with these people?!?

Agatha mustered a polite smile, “You’ll be the first to know when there is” Agatha lied sweetly.

Mrs. Hart grinned, pleased with Agatha’s answer. 

“In that case I’ll get you a martini once we’re back in the dining room!” Mrs. Hart smiled as she took the roast out of the oven. 

“This is all for the best. Soon you’ll be so focused on your babies that you won’t even be able to imagine wanting to be stuck at the university all the time.” Mrs. Hart told Agatha. 

Agatha nodded numbly. 

“And Rio really was the perfect choice.” Mrs. Hart continued. Agatha tried to keep her face neutral. 

“Unmarried and very likely to stay that way if you know what I mean. She was fired from her last post because of her…alternative lifestyle.” Mrs.. Hart hinted. 

Agatha stared at Mrs. Hart, surprised. Was Mrs. Hart implying that Rio was a queer? Agatha had nothing against it, she just hadn’t met one before. But this might be more reason to stay away from Rio, just in case. 

The rest of the dinner passed quickly. Agatha drank two Martinis and was quickly drunk enough that she could laugh at Mrs. Hart’s bad jokes. 

Dr. Hart tried to convince Ralph, Lilia, and Rio to smoke some cigars, but Agatha gave Ralph the look, and Ralph dutifully made up an excuse about an early morning appointment and grabbed Agatha’s jacket from the closet in the hall. 

Once Ralph was gone, Rio quickly snuck up to Agatha, and Agatha noticed Rio’s delicate collarbones under her shirt. 

“Can we get coffee sometime before the semester starts?” Rio asked, and Agatha’s stomach flipped uneasily. 

“I’m too busy,” Agatha lied, and followed her husband out the door, quickly catching Rio’s disappointed look.

That night, Agatha struggled  to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Rio’s face. 

Chapter Text

For someone who was only on campus twice a week, Agatha has been extraordinarily unsuccessful at avoiding Rio Vidal. Agatha wouldn’t necessarily say she was still actively angry at Rio for stealing her job. It was more of a constant dull irritation. 

Rio, it turns out, was either completely inept at reading social cues or she actively enjoyed pissing Agatha off. Either way, she was constantly around. If Agatha went to the faculty lounge, Rio would be there. If Agatha went to her favorite coffee shop on campus, Rio would already be sitting at a corner table. If Agatha needed to pick up a book from the library, Rio would be digging through the stacks. It was absurd. 

So far, Rio had proven herself to be stubborn as a goat and uniquely aggravating. Unfortunately, and to Agatha’s disappointment, she also seemed to be extremely competent and good at her job. 

She was also annoyingly pleasant to look at. From an aesthetic perspective, Agatha had to admit that Rio was perfect. Agatha has always considered herself a lover of beautiful things, and Rio happened to have a face that could launch one thousand ships. It would be weirder if Agatha didn’t admire the woman. 

Agatha was just wrapping up her office hours when she heard a quick knock on her door. She smiled, thinking it was Ralph popping in to say hello before his next lecture. 

”Come in, honey. It’s open.” Agatha called out as she straightened her skirt and reached for her lipstick. 

The door opened, but it wasn’t Ralph. Instead, Rio Vidal stood in the door frame, smirking. 

“My Aggie, don't you look swell,” Rio crooned in a terrible imitation of Ralph's voice, and fell into a fit of laughter at her joke. 

Agatha glared at her. “You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are.”

Rio waltzed into Agatha’s office, smiling dumbly. 

“What do you want, Rio?” 

Rio pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “I left my lighter at home. Do you have one I can borrow?

“I don't smoke.”

“You don’t carry an extra for Ralph?” 

Agatha frowned. “He’s a grown man. He remembers his lighter.” 

“Ah. Well, worth a shot.” Rio grinned, shrugging her shoulders. “See ya, Aggie.”

Agatha cringed at the nickname. Rio paused and stared at Agatha for a moment. 

“You dislike being called that.”

“What?” Agatha scoffed. 

“I called you Aggie, and you flinched, Agatha.”

“You called me Aggie. I don’t mind when it’s Ralph.” Agatha insisted, even though she knew it wasn’t true. She hated the nickname, but it made Ralph happy.

“He shouldn’t call you that if you don’t like it,” Rio spoke softly. 

“I don’t know what you’re implying, but I don’t find it appropriate for a colleague to be passing judgment on what my husband calls me.”

Rio raised an eyebrow. “Okay, Agatha.”

“Goodbye, Ms. Vidal.” 

“It’s Doctor, actually,” Rio smirked, “Dr. Vidal.” 

“Get out!” Agatha smacked her hand on her desk for emphasis. 

Rio just laughed, raised her hands in surrender, and backed out of Agatha’s office. Agatha showed remarkable self-restraint by not throwing her stapler at Rio’s head. 

Agatha has always had a talent for pushing down unpleasant feelings, so she didn’t think about her encounter with for the rest of the day. 

Because Ralph’s last class was set to end two hours after hers, Agatha took the bus home. During the ride, Agatha tried to plan out a quick and easy dinner for that night. She had pork chops that were about to spoil. She could pair them with mashed potatoes and canned peas. She also had the ingredients to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies—Ralph’s favorite. 

At home, she changed into her house dress, put on a record of Miles Davis, and started cooking. Finally, she felt her shoulders release their tension. 

Once dinner was in the oven, Agatha pulled out her latest crime novel and cozied up on the couch. This is where Ralph found her when he got home. Agatha was so engrossed in her book that she didn’t even hear her husband enter the house. When he put a hand on her shoulder in greeting, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Hi honey” Ralph smiled.

The oven timer went off, and Agatha ignored Ralph and got up to go and get dinner ready.

“It’s good to see you, too,” Ralph muttered sarcastically.  

Agatha sighed. “Table’s all set. I’ll be right in with the food.” 

Agatha kissed him lightly on the cheek in apology and broke away to go to the kitchen. Ralph caught her by the waist, stopping her from walking further. 

“Let it burn” He growled lowly into her ear, and moved his hand down to squeeze her ass. 

“Ralph!” 

He gave her an impish grin. 

“I like my meat well done,” Ralph teased and pulled her body tight against him. 

Ralph bent his head down and gave Agatha a passionate kiss. Agatha opened her mouth under his instinctively, letting him do as he liked for a bit. She let her mind wander as he kissed her, thinking about what chores she needed to get done. 

Ralph pulled away after a minute. “Should we head to the bedroom?” 

“And eat ashes for dinner afterwards?” 

Ralph laughed heartily, “It does smell like it’s starting to burn.”

“Shit!” Agatha exclaimed and rushed to take out the pork chop. It’s a little darker than she’d prefer, but still edible. 

As he was finishing up eating, Ralph turned to Agatha with a heartbreakingly earnest look on his face. “Are you doing okay? With the whole Vidal thing?”

Agatha nearly choked on a piece of pork chop. Ralph was not someone who casually brought up feelings like this. 

“I’m fine,” Agatha gritted out after she swallowed. 

The relief on Ralph's face was palpable. “Good,” He reached across the table and gave Agatha’s hand a small squeeze. “I know that you’re in a tough position, honey.” 

“How’re your classes?” Agatha interrupted, hoping to shift the conversation away from herself. 

“Nothing too exciting has happened yet. These kids are still afraid to have an opinion.” 

Agatha nodded as she chewed a potato. 

“They also just don’t seem to take anything seriously. I had Vidal come in to lecture on Caribbean rum trading, and the boys couldn’t focus on the source material at all.” 

Agatha snorted out a laugh. “Can you blame them?”

Ralph looked at Agatha strangely. 

“They’re young and she’s beautiful.” Agatha shrugged casually. 

“You’re prettier,” Ralph quickly dismissed.

“Ralph,” Agatha teased, “You don’t even find her a little distracting?” She knew he didn’t. Ralph was almost loyal to a fault. 

“I only have eyes for one woman, and she just so happens to be my lovely wife.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“Come sit on my lap, Aggie.” 

Agatha rolled her eyes, but moved into Ralph’s lap anyway. Ralph held her tightly to him and nuzzled into the crook between her neck and shoulder. 

“I love you so much,” Ralph sighed happily. 

Agatha gave him a quick kiss before hopping off. 

“Let me get started on the dishes.”

“Alright, but after that, I’m going to run us a bath and read some of my new poetry to you.” Ralph grinned. 

Oh god. Ralph’s poetry, his latest pet project, was just dreadful. Utter word salad. The fact that Agatha can keep a straight face when Ralph reads it is nothing short of a miracle. 

Agatha smiled gently at her husband. “Sounds great, hon.”

…

Ralph was already in the bath, and Agatha was about to slip in with him when the phone rang. 

“Ignore it,” Ralph declared, and reached his arms out towards Agatha. 

“What if it’s an emergency? It could be important,” Agatha chided and went to pick up the phone. 

“Bohner residence,” Agatha answered. 

“Agatha! Dr. Hart here. We’ve got a bit of a situation. Any chance you can lend me Ralph for the evening?”

“Is everything all right, sir?”

“Yes, yes! There’s a potential donor, and we’re hoping to get him to leave his assets to the department. He wants to get to know the faculty first and is only in town tonight. Meet at the university pub?” 

Agatha lit up. Not only was this a perfect excuse to avoid Ralph’s poetry and whatever Ralph had planned for afterwards, but she’d get to spend time with Dr. Hart in a professional setting and show him she was more than just a housewife. 

“Great! We’ll be there in thirty minutes.”  

“Ah, I’m afraid the donor is a bit old-fashioned. I’m not sure how he’d feel about a married woman on the faculty. I think it would be best if you sat this one out. You understand, of course. 

Agatha swallowed heavily, a headache was blooming behind her eyes. “Of course.”

 How could she have been stupid enough to get her hopes up? 

Agatha goes back upstairs and quickly slips into the tub with Ralph. He wraps his arms around her, and she leans back into his chest. She feels him grow hard against the curve of her ass, and she turned to face him, pouting. No harm in letting Ralph think she’s sad to see him go. 

“Honey, that was Dr. Hart. You need to meet him at the pub to try and woo a donor. Get drinks with him so he feels like one of the boys. Dr. Hart said it was very important.”  Agatha sighed. 

Ralph’s face fell. “We should’ve just let it ring.”

“You won’t stay out too long?” Agatha asks, frowning slightly. Pretending to be upset might be duplicitous, but if it makes Ralph feel happy and secure, then there’s no harm in it. 

“Of course, Aggie. My poor girl, all on her own.” 

“I’m almost done with my book, and I’ll turn in early. Wake me up when you get back?” Agatha asked, reaching out to gently cup Ralph’s balls in the way she knows he loves. Since there’s no risk of it escalating further, Agtaha doesn’t mind giving him this. 

Ralph hisses through his teeth. “Aggie, I can be quick.”

“You can’t keep your boss waiting, hon. Wake me up later,” Agatha offered, fully knowing Ralph would never wake her up from a deep sleep. She ran her hand up his shaft, enjoying the obvious effect it had on him. Even though Agatha disliked sex, she enjoyed the power it gave her over her husband.

“I’m not an animal, Aggie. You deserve a good night's sleep. I can wait.” 

“I know, it’s just been a while, and you’ve been so patient with me,” Agatha admits softly. It’s true, he has been extremely patient. 

Ralph gets out of the bath and kisses the crown of her head. “Don’t worry, honey.” 

…

The next morning, Agatha woke up and made Ralph an egg sandwich. She ate a piece of toast with peanut butter and black coffee. 

There was a faculty meeting that Agatha was also required to be at, so Ralph drove them both to work. Agatha wore a simple wool skirt and a dark purple shirt with a Peter Pan collar. Ralph was in his standard work suit, and he held her hand as they walked into the building. 

“You gonna carry my books for me too?” Agatha teased. “Or how about you let me wear your letterman jacket?” 

Ralph dropped her hand abruptly. “You’re being mean.”

Agatha frowned. “I was just joking, hon.” 

“Sometimes I feel like you’re embarrassed to be seen as my wife at work.”

“I just want to be my own person.”

Ralph frowned. “But we’re a team. You are your own person, and that person is my wife.” 

Agatha didn’t have the energy to point out how reductive that was. Instead, she pushed down her frustration. Ralph tries his best, it’s not his fault, she told herself. 

“My hand is cold.” Agatha declared, stretching out her fingers for him to take. 

Ralph sighed, shaking his head as he took her hand. “You would’ve looked great in my varsity jacket, by the way.” He mumbled. Aagatha laughed. 

Ralph snuck away to the breakroom to make coffee, so Agatha was the only person in the conference room. She took a moment to enjoy the silence before getting out her pens and notebook. 

The peace was short-lived because Rio Vidal strolled in, loudly whistling, “Oh what a beautiful morning” from Oklahoma. 

She sat down in the seat directly next to Agatha despite there being four other open chairs at the meeting table. Agatha glared at her. 

“I brought you something.” Rio smiled. 

Rio opened her palm and showed Agatha the piece of candy that was lying in it. 

Agatha took it, figuring if anything, it would shut Rio up. The butterscotch melted onto her tongue, and Agatha had to bite her tongue to keep from smiling. 

“You like butterscotch?” Rio grinned. If her face weren’t so infuriating, it would be endearing. 

“If this is some Pavlovian trick to get me to like you, it won’t work. I may be a bitch, but I’m not a dog”

Rio gave a full-throated laugh. It was musical, the type of laugh that made Agatha want to laugh herself. 

“Good morning, Vidal!” Ralph greeted, walking into the conference room. He placed a mug of coffee in front of Agatha, quickly pressed a kiss to her cheek, and sat down across from her. 

Agatha took a sip of coffee and grimaced. Too much cream, and no sugar. This is why she always makes the coffee. Ralph can never seem to get it quite right. 

“I’ve only ever seen you take it black,” Rio whispered lowly. Agatha glared at her and took another deeper sip of the coffee. 

“It’s perfect. Thank you, honey,” She told Ralph.

Dr. Hart walked in, sat down, clasped his hands together, and smiled broadly. 

“Good morning, historians! Drinks with Herb last night was a success, and we nearly have him, I think.”

Ralph gave a small cheer, and Rio gestured to him. “Thanks to Ralph’s hometown boy charm,” Rio pointed out. 

“Herb called me today. He was quite taken with you, Dr. Vidal. He thought it was very progressive of us to hire, and I quote, “Such a gorgeous young woman.” Dr. Hart continued. 

“So much for being old-fashioned,” Agatha muttered under her breath. 

“What was that?” Dr. Hart asked. 

“How exciting!” Agatha smiled falsely. 

“Now, I normally wouldn't ask this, but Herb wanted me to pass along an invitation for you specifically to get lunch with him today. I think it would ensure his contribution to the department if you were to do it, Dr. Vidal. There’s over $100,000 on the line.”

Agatha’s mouth dropped. “You can't be serious. You’re auctioning off your female professor. The expectation is that it’s never just lunch, we all know that.” 

Agatha looked to Rio, whose lips were pursed tightly. Rio was balling her hands into fists under the table. 

Ralph reached across the table and gently touched Agatha’s hand. 

“It’s a lot of money, Aggie. And Herb is a stand-up guy. Let Vidal make her own choice.” 

“My choice is not to go. Thank you,” Rio said tersely. She calmly and deliberately began to pack up her things and then left the room. The meeting was scheduled to go on for another thirty minutes. 

Dr. Hart groaned. “This is why I should never have hired two women. $100,000 down the drain all in the name of feminism.”

“Aggie could go if he wants to have lunch with a pretty woman. He won’t try anything because she’s married, but I can be at the restaurant at a different table to keep an eye on things.” Ralph offered. 

“This sounds like the plot of a farce,” Agatha said drily. 

“It’s not a horrible idea.” Dr. Hart mused. 

“I have an appointment, so I’m not free,” Agatha lied. 

“You do?” Ralph asked. “Is it important? Can you reschedule?” Ralph asked. 

Agatha was being backed into a corner. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

“Dr. Hart, would you excuse Ralph and me for a moment?” Agatha asked sweetly. 

Hart nodded, and Agatha stood, gesturing for Ralph to get up and follow her into the hall. 

“I’d be there the whole time, and if he tries anything, I’ll punch him square in the face,” Ralph promised as soon as they were out of Dr. Hart’s earshot. 

Agatha snorted. “I’m sure that would be a great way to ensure his donation.” 

“So you’ll do it? The appointment can't be that important, can it?” Ralph wheedled. 

Agatha racked her brain trying to think of something Ralph wouldn’t insist she cancel.

 “It’s with Westview obstetrics.” 

Ralph’s jaw dropped. His eyes grew wide, and a smile burst across his face. 

“Aggie! Why didn’t you tell me?” He laughed and pulled her into his arms, lifting her in a big hug. Agatha’s stomach cramped with guilt. This was a poor choice. Especially considering she got her period just this morning. She was getting him excited over an impossibility.

“I’m just getting a test done to see. It’s probably nothing. Don't get your hopes up.”  Agatha said softly. 

“Go home and get some rest before your appointment, honey. I’ll handle Dr. Hart. Here, you take the car, and pick me up after?”

Agatha reluctantly took the keys from Ralph. 

After her ‘appointment’, Agatha was parked outside the College of Arts and Sciences building, waiting for Ralph.

She pinched her cheeks to look flushed and rubbed her eyes so hard that they began to burn. She looked in the car mirror and saw that she looked as though she’d been crying. Perfect. As if on cue, Ralph walked up to the car and slid into the passenger seat. Agatha sniffled loudly and gave Ralph a weak, watery smile. 

“Oh, honey,” Ralph frowned. “It’s alright. Let me drive us home.” 

Agatha sniffled again, wiped at her nose and eyes, and got out of the car so Ralph could get behind the wheel. 

“I’m sorry,” Agatha said softly. It was true, she was sorry. She hated to see Ralph upset and wished that Dr. Hart’s actions hadn’t forced her to do this. 

“It’s okay, honey. We weren’t even really trying yet, anyway.” Ralph soothed with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He placed a heavy hand on Agatha’s thigh as he drove. Agatha nodded mutely. 

“I’m not mad or disappointed, Aggie. I promise,” Ralph told her, and there was a slight catch in his voice. She looked over and saw that his eyes were wet with tears. 

Agatha rested her hand on top of his. “Love you,” She murmured. 

“Love you more. Let’s go out for dinner tonight, I think my girl needs some French fries and a milkshake.” 

“That sounds nice,” Agatha said quietly. 

…

Agatha was once again curled on the couch with her book when the phone rang. She picked it up quickly.

“Hello?” 

“Hi, Agatha. It’s Lilia.” 

Agatha frowned slightly. What did Calderu want from her? 

“What can I do for you, professor?” 

“I’m retired, Agatha. For goodness' sake, call me Lilia.” 

Agatha rolled her eyes. Everyone was so informal nowadays. 

“What can I do for you, Lilia?” Agatha tried again, emphasizing the woman’s name in annoyance. 

Lilia chuckled. “I need you to start making nice with Rio.” 

“I am being perfectly professional.” 

“She called me yesterday and spoke about how much you seem to hate her for about twenty minutes.”

“That sounds like a personal problem.” 

“Agatha” 

“Lilia, you said yourself I should have her position.”

“You can’t hold it against her. She is technically more qualified than you.” 

“Because she’s a queer and doesn’t want a family?”

“Queer people can still want families. And no, Agatha,” Lilia sighed heavily. “She’s more qualified because she has teaching experience and a doctorate. You are truly the most petty and stubborn person I have ever met.” 

“Did you call just to insult me?” Agatha bit back. 

“No. Rio was one of my undergrads when I was teaching at Smith. She’s brilliant, but beyond that, she’s a good person. You’d get along if you would stop being angry at her for having the job you want.” 

Agatha stayed quiet. 

“Women in academia need to stick together,” Lilia said softly. “Your research subjects align well, and I think you would enjoy her company if you’d let yourself.”

“How old is Rio if she was one of your undergrads at Smith?” 

“Almost forty. I know, she looks good, right?” 

“I have to go,” Agatha snapped and hung up the phone. 

The phone rang again almost immediately. Calderu always was annoyingly persistent. 

“What?” Agatha growled into the phone.

“Is this always how you answer the phone’ A smooth, deep voice laughed lightly. “This is Rio, by the way.” 

“How did you get our phone number?”

“It’s in the staff directory. Is calling okay? Would you rather I send a carrier pigeon?”

“What do you want?” 

Rio cleared her throat. “I just wanted to say thanks. For sticking up for me today.”

“Anyone would have.”

“No one else did.” Rio audibly inhaled, and Agatha imagined that she was doing that thing where she pushes her tongue against her cheek. Strangely, this made Agatha smile. Then, remembering this was Vidal, she scowled. 

“Would you like to come over for tea tomorrow?” Vidal asked. 

“I can’t,” Agatha said too quickly. 

“Alright, well, maybe another time.” 

Agatha exhaled. Lilia always had a weird knack for reading people, and Vidal sounded pathetically disappointed enough that Agatha felt slightly guilty. 

“Let’s go for a walk on Monday. I finish teaching at noon.” 

“Perfect. Let’s meet by the library!” Rio responded with devilish glee in her voice. It made Agatha feel nervous.

“Tomorrow at noon,” Agatha confirmed and hung up the phone. 

The next day, Agatha arrived at the library at eleven fifty-five. She wore a pair of corduroy pants and a light blue wool sweater. Her hair was swept into a loose ponytail. The air was a little cool for late September, and Agatha realized that soon the leaves would be falling off the trees. It was nearly stick season.

“Agatha!” Rio’s voice shouted from a distance. 

Agatha looked around and saw Rio, all the way across the quad, grinning and waving at her like an idiot. Agatha’s cheeks flushed with second-hand embarrassment as Rio ran towards her. 

“I have to say I’m surprised you actually showed up,” Rio smirked. 

“When I have an appointment, I always make sure to follow through.” 

“ I don’t mean anything by it. I suppose I wasn’t expecting you to be willing to spend time with me.” Rio said bluntly. 

Agatha blinked. Rio was too candid, and even though it was Rio who was divulging her thoughts, Agatha felt exposed. 

“Do you have a path you like walking around here?” Agatha said stiffly. She had expected to walk towards the downtown area, but Rio was leading her in the opposite direction, into the woods. 

“There’s a nice path that leads to a small lake. Hope you don’t mind a little mud.” Rio smiled mischievously. 

Agatha balked at the other woman. “You expect me to just follow you into the middle of the woods.”

Rio laughed. “It’s less than a mile, Agatha.”

“In the woods”

“We can walk into town if you’re too scared.” Rio grinned. 

Agatha resisted the urge to scream. 

“I like it because it’s quiet. No students, no faculty. Just me and the trees.”  Rio explained gently. 

“If I get Lyme disease, you’re paying my doctors' bills,” Agatha grumbled, and Rio smiled widely. 

They walked through the woods, and Agatha had to admit ot was peaceful. Rio understood the value of companionable silence. Ralph would be chatting Agatha’s ear off by now, but Rio seemed perfectly at ease with the lack of conversation. 

As they reached the lake, Rio gestured to a large rock for Agatha to sit on and bent down to pick up some smaller pebbles. 

“Have you ever skipped stones?” Rio asked, holding out a pebble to Agatha. 

“Don’t give me a shit stone.” Agatha sniffed. “It has to be flat,” Agatha picked up a smooth stone from the dirt at her feet. 

She threw it into the lake, and it skipped across the water four times. 

Rio whistled lowly, “I didn’t know I was with an expert.”

Agatha shrugged, “I’m good at most things.”

Rio looked at Agatha slowly, and Agatha felt as if she were peering into her soul. She felt warm under Rio’s gaze, but in a pleasant way. Rio was looking at her as though she were something important, something valuable. 

Rio saw that Agatha caught her staring and blushed a pretty shade of pink. Agatha understood what was happening—poor Rio had developed a crush on her. 

“Let's head back,” Rio suggested, turning away from Agatha. 

Agatha felt satisfaction at having flustered Rio, even if it was slightly cruel. It was flattering to know that someone other than Ralph could be attracted to her. It was extremely flattering to know that someone as attractive as Rio would be interested in her. 

When they got back to the library, Agatha turned to Rio. “This could have been worse, I suppose.” 

Rio smiled at Agatha as though she had just told her she won the lottery. 

“Can we do it again?” 

Agatha nodded. “My Mondays are usually clear.” 

On Saturdays, Agatha usually spent her mornings reading. In the afternoon, depending on the season, she would either watch Ralph’s baseball games or bowling matches. This was usually just more reading, with minimal feigned interest in the sports themselves, and a big smile for Ralph whenever she caught him looking over at her. Then, unless it were a special occasion, Agatha would make dinner, and they would go to bed early because Ralph liked to go to the seven am mass on Sundays. 

This Saturday happened to be Ralph’s birthday, which is how Agatha found herself at a restaurant with Ralph, Wanda, and Vision. Ralph, a red-blooded American boy through and through, had chosen a steakhouse. 

Agatha had managed to make his favorite chocolate cake the day before and sneak it to Wanda’s house. The plan was for Wanda to get to the restaurant slightly early and give it to the kitchen staff. Agatha tries to feel happy and excited for Ralph, but she was already beginning to dread what was certainly going to be a big reaction to the cake. Why on earth did she think this was a better idea than just eating it at home after dinner?

Agatha had woken up that morning with a strange sense of foreboding that she couldn’t quite shake. She’d been hiding it well and was on her best behavior, not wanting to spoil Ralph’s birthday. He didn’t seem to suspect a thing. She’d laughed and smiled at all the right things, and he seemed to genuinely be having a good birthday. 

The waiter came out with the cake, and Ralph’s reaction was as big as Agatha feared. As soon as he blew out his candles, he leaped to his feet and lifted his wine glass for a toast. 

“I have many things to be grateful for,” Raloph said in a voice that was far too loud. Agatha was horrified to see that he’d already attracted the attention of the entire restaurant. “But, at the top of the list is my perfect wife. I love you, Aggie. Thank you for making my twenties the best years of my life. I’m sure my thirties will be even better. 

Vision patted Ralph on the back as he sat back down. “Well said.”

On the drive home, when it was just Agatha and him in the car, Ralph was uncharacteristically silent. Agatha hoped that he hadn’t caught onto her glumness. ‘

“I’m excited for you to open your present, honey,” Agatha said, trying to cheer Ralph up. She was genuinely excited. She’d found a published anthology of all of Benjamin Franklin’s letters. Ralph was going to love it. 

Ralph sighed sadly, “You didn’t need to get me anything.”

“Of course I did. You don’t turn thirty every day, hon.” 

“I just always thought I’d be a dad by thirty.”

Agatha stilled. Ralph looked devastated. She felt a crushing sense of guilt. She was preventing her husband, a loving, selfless, good person, from accomplishing his one dream. All Ralph had ever wanted was a family. Her mother was right, Agatha was selfish—she didn’t deserve to be loved, but Ralph loved her anyway. 

Agatha took a steadying breath. “That means you have three months to put a baby in me, then.” 

“Are you being serious right now?” Ralph asked softly. 

Agatha nodded her head. “Let’s start trying tonight. No more diaphragm.”

…

After it was all said and done, and Ralph was sleeping soundly beside her, Agatha slipped out of bed and ran a hot shower. She wanted to wash the feel of Ralph off her skin. As she stood under the scalding water, she sobbed silently and tried to convince herself that a sacrifice like this was just a normal part of love. 

Chapter Text

Agatha wasn’t entirely sure how it happened, but she has been walking with Rio every Monday for the past month. Surprisingly, it’s been the highlight of her week. Rio has been an easy person to spend time with. She’s a good listener; her humor is witty, if not a little strange, and she's extremely considerate. Rio has listened to Agatha more than anyone ever has before. She seemed genuinely eager to get to know her. The real her. Agatha has still been hiding the most broken and raw parts of herself from the other woman.  Rio has nevertheless needled herself into Agatha’s life so succinctly that Agatha now considers her to be a friend. 

It was early November, and the first snow hadn’t fallen, but Agatha was certain it would only be a matter of days until it happened. She was half expecting Rio to cancel their walks because of the cold, but Rio so far has been undeterred. Today, Rio had on a large parka, a wool hat, a matching scarf, and gloves. 

“You must be freezing!” Rio exclaimed as she walked up towards Agatha, who was waiting in their designated meeting spot by the library. Rio handed Agatha a cup of something steaming and flashed her a smile. Agatha smiled back. Seeing the little gap between Rio’s two front teeth sparked something awfully close to happiness inside of her. 

“Coffee, m’lady.” 

Agatha rolled her eyes at that, but accepted the coffee regardless. It was black with a dash of cinnamon. Her favorite way to take it. She told Rio this in passing during one of their walks a few weeks ago, and ever since, Rio has met her with a cup of coffee in hand, made exactly how she likes it.

“It’s barely November, Rio. You don’t think you’re a little overdressed?” Agatha asked, gesturing at Rio’s winter ensemble. 

“We can’t all come from hardy New England stock. Agatha. Some of us are sensitive to the elements. Also, your fingers are turning red from the cold. Take my gloves,” Rio insisted, as she pulled off her gloves and handed them to Agatha. 

Agatha frowned, but took Rio’s gloves and slipped them on her hands anyway. 

“How do you know I’m from hardy New England stock?” 

“You seem the type,” Rio shrugged. “Also, Ralph told me yesterday that  you were raised in Salem and that you’re a descendant of one of the girls accused of witchcraft in the trials.”

“You talk about me?” Agatha teased. 

“Pretty much the only thing your husband and I have in common is liking you, so you do tend to come up” 

“That can’t be true. You both like…” Agatha trailed off, trying to think of a similarity between Ralph and Rio. “History,” she finished. 

“Completely different periods. The stuff Ralph works on bores me to tears,” Rio said conspiratorially. 

“Me too,” Agatha snorted. “How many times can you read the Declaration of Independence and take something new from it?” 

“The Revolutionary War was a snooze fest,” Rio laughed. 

“He mixed up his facts, by the way.” 

“Oh?” Rio asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“I’m related to the main accuser, not the accused,” Agatha admitted. 

“Oh, so conniving is a genetic trait for you, then?” Rio asked, smiling. 

“I’m not conniving! I just know what I want, and I usually know the easiest ways to get it.” 

“Was growing up in Salem fun?” 

Agatha laughed bitterly, “Not for me.” 

“Let me guess—you always knew you were too big for such a small town.” Rio grinned. 

“Not quite. The town was never the issue. My mother was…difficult. We don’t speak anymore.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“I’m not. Going no contact was the best choice I’ve ever made. She’s someone who never wanted children, and should never have had a child.” 

“I’m glad she had you.” 

Agatha scoffed, “Okay, you absolute sap.” 

“Is she the reason you married so young? To get away from her?”

“I married for love,” Agatha said stiffly. Rio was, of course, correct. She had married Ralph to ensure that she would never have to live under her mother's roof again. 

Rio didn’t respond; she walked silently next to Agatha. 

“Have you ever been in love?” Agatha asked. 

Rio hummed before answering. “I’ve had people I like spending time with, and who I was attracted to, but I’m not sure if I’d call it love.” 

Agatha looked at Rio, confused. “What do you mean? Enjoying someone's company and finding them aesthetically pleasing is all it takes to love.” 

Rio laughed loudly, and Agatha glowered at her. 

“I don’t understand what’s so funny.” 

“You’re not joking?” Rio asked, catching her breath. 

Agtha scowled deeply. 

“If that’s your definition of love, then I’ve been in love with nearly every woman I’ve ever met.” 

“What’s your definition of love?” 

Rio paused. “I think to love is to be willing to do anything for someone. For their dreams to become your dreams. To want their happiness more than your own. To need them like you need air to breathe. 

Agatha laughed. “Rio, you’ve read too many romance novels. Nobody feels that way in real life.”

“I don’t know. I think some people do, like my parents.” 

“Do you get to see them often?” 

“My dad passed when I was in graduate school, and my mom has been gone for about ten years. I was their late and life miracle baby, so they were older.

Agatha nodded her head, unsure of what to say. “Do you have any family around?” 

“It was always just the three of us, so now it’s just me. I do have a cat, though,” Rio grinned. 

“I always wanted a cat, but Ralph’s allergic. Tell me about your cat.” Agatha demanded, smiling. 

“She’s a black cat. Her name is Victoria, and she’s too smart for her own good. She can open doors, and I’m fairly certain she’s capable of emotional manipulation.” 

Agatha laughed. “I’d like to meet her.” 

Rio beamed. “Anytime. Would you want to come over for dinner?” 

“Can I bring Ralph?”

Rio frowned slightly. “I guess” 

Agatha laughed. “You are the first person I have ever met who dislikes Ralph. It’s refreshing, really. Ralph is the most agreeable person in the world. Something is wrong with you, Vidal.” 

“I don’t dislike him,” Rio grumbled. 

“I  saw you pretend to tie your shoe for five entire minutes yesterday to avoid having a conversation with him.”

“How do you know I’m not just hopeless at tying my shoes?” 

“They were slip-ons ons” Agatha deadpanned. She looked at Rio. “Seriously, what about him bothers you so much? I genuinely don’t get it. He’s a perfectly good man.” 

“He doesn't appreciate you,” Rio blurted out. Then, realizing what she had just said, Rio flushed red. 

“Sorry. But it’s true. He doesn’t see you, doesn’t understand you. He doesn’t deserve you.” Rio doubled down.

Agatha stopped walking and continued to look at Rio, gobsmacked. 

“Do you like Ralph?” Rio asked in a soft voice. 

Agatha felt nauseous, and her head began to pound. She felt as if she was being suffocated and couldn’t breathe. 

“Agatha?” Rio asked and took a step forward to her. 

Agatha held up a hand and stepped backwards, away from Rio. 

“Sweetheart, you need to breathe,” Rio said gently. “Can you match my breath?” Rio asked and began to breathe in and out slowly through her mouth. Agatha breathed with Rio until her heart rate returned to normal, and she felt calmer. 

“We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want. I’m sorry I pushed.” Rio said, and Agatha felt a strange sensation as she looked at Rio’s face. Rio looked devastated. 

“I must be getting sick. I’ve never had anything like this happen to me before.” Agatha lied. She knew this was a panic attack, but she didn’t want Rio to know that. 

“Okay, Agatha.” 

The rest of their walk was silent, but instead of their usual comfortable quiet, the silence was awkward. The air between them was tense. Agatha was lost in her thoughts. Of course, she liked Ralph. She loved him. Rio had no idea what it was like to be in a marriage. She had never even been in love, for Christ's sake. 

“Agatha!” Rio screamed, just as Agatha was about to cross the street. Agatha felt strong arms yank her back onto the sidewalk, and she heard the whoosh of a car. A car that had very nearly just run her over. 

“Oh my god,” Rio exclaimed. There were tears in her eyes, and Agatha absentmindedly noted that Rio was someone who looked very pretty even when she was crying. 

Agatha felt Rio’s arms still wrapped around her waist, and she leaned in as Rio pulled her closer, flush against her. She felt Rio’s breasts gently press against her own, and smelled the clean scent of Rio’s shampoo. She looked up into Rio’s face and saw her perfect cupid's bow mouth turned down at the corners. Instinctively, she lifted her hand to Rio’s cheek. She felt Rio staring at her mouth and felt a stirring deep in her stomach. Without thinking, Agatha lifted her lips to Rio’s and pressed a quick, small kiss to Rio’s lips. 

After realizing what she’d done, she pulled away immediately, wiping at her mouth. 

“I didn’t mean to do that,” Agatha rushed out, horrified. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Rio, I’m so sorry.” 

Rio blinked at her owlishly. 

“Please, please don’t think about it. It never happened, okay? It was some weird form of adrenaline. I mean, I almost was just run over by a car.” 

Rio nodded slowly. “I don’t think we should do this anymore.”

Agatha looked at Rio strangely. “Walk together?”

Rio nodded with a pained expression. 

“Because of the weather?” Agatha asked nervously, knowing full well this had nothing to do with the weather. 

“If that’s what you need to tell yourself,” Rio murmured and walked away from Agatha. Agatha helplessly watched her go. 

…

Ralph’s parents are, for the most part, fine. Agatha knows that Ralph’s mom is leagues above her own mother, and she’s never even met her father, so that’s an easy contest for Ralph’s dad to win.  But, being around the Bohners has always made Agatha feel uncomfortable. It’s not that she dislikes them; it’s just clear that they aren’t particularly enthusiastic about her. They had hoped that Ralph would marry someone from their white collar, country-club attending, New England social circle, and Agatha did not fit the bill. 

“What if we go on a road trip instead of to your parents’ place for Thanksgiving this year?” Agatha casually mentioned to Ralph as they sipped coffee one morning.

Ralph looked up from the newspaper he was reading, aghast. “And miss mom’s pecan pie?”  He gasped. 

Agatha exhaled slowly. “I have her recipe. I can make that pie for you anytime you like.” 

“Aggie, we both know it’s never as good. It doesn’t taste right when you make it.” Ralph whined. 

“Please, honey? I think it would be nice to get away just us.” Agatha smiled sweetly. “I’ve always wanted to see Niagara Falls.”

“Aggie,” Ralph sighed. “What’s gotten into you? You love Thanksgiving.” 

“I just thought it might be nice to take a trip. Who knows when the next time we’ll be able to do something like this, just the two of us will be?” Agatha bit her lip and gave Ralph the pout she knew he couldn’t refuse. 

“Why don’t we go somewhere tropical during winter break? I bet Dr. Hart would let us use his timeshare in Florida.”

Agatha sighed. “Could we stay home for Thanksgiving then?”

Ralph laughed loudly, and Agatha frowned. 

“I’m being serious,” Agatha said smally. I don’t want to go to your parents' this year.”

Ralph looked at her, crestfallen. “C’mon, honey. We can’t miss Thanksgiving.” 

“Why don’t you tell them I need to spend it with my mother, and you go without me?” 

“Honey,” Ralph shook his head. “You’re not being rational.”

“Your mother will have a better time if I’m not there.” 

“Agatha, you know that’s not true,” Ralph said sternly. Agatha could see the vein in his temple pulse with tension. She reached across the table and brushed the hair out of Ralph’s eyes. This was a battle she was not going to win, and Ralph was getting more worked up than she was used to seeing him. 

“I’m sorry. Of course I’ll come. I don’t know what came over me.” Agatha mumbled. Ralph was a good man, she reminded herself. She was fortunate to be his wife and part of his family. 

Ralph let out a relieved breath and shook his head. “Geez, Aggie. You’re something else sometimes. It’s a good thing you're so pretty.”

Agatha got up to take their coffee cups to the sink and kissed Ralph on the cheek. 

…

“Aunt Agatha, if Thanksgiving is all about family, why aren’t you spending it with us?” Billy asked as he licked the mixing spoon full of brownie batter. 

Tommy had been acting out at school, and Wanda’s solution was to try to spend some one-on-one time with him. This resulted in Billy needing somewhere to be, and as Agatha had a pulse and lived next door, she was Wanda’s best option.

“Kid, you know that’s not what Thanksgiving is really about, right?” Agatha asked as she took the mixing spoon out of Billy’s little chocolate-covered hands and took a lick herself. He giggled at her antics. 

“I know it’s about Christopher Columbus.” 

“Billy, do you listen with your ears in school, or are you shoving crayons in them?” 

“I’m prone to ear infections, so I don’t put anything in my ears,” Billy answered with a precocious little sniff. 

“Columbus Day is about Columbus, you goon. Who else sailed to America?”

“Pilgrims!” Billy exclaimed excitedly. 

“Yes. That’s what Thanksgiving is technically about. Friendship between the pilgrims and the native Americans. But the Pilgrims were pretty shit friends, you know.” 

Billy clasped his hands over his ears. “Auntie Agatha! You can’t swear in front of me.” 

Agatha rolled her eyes. 

“My teacher said Thanksgiving is a time to spend with our families. Why aren’t you spending it with us?” Billy asked again with a frown. 

“I have to spend it with Ralph’s family this year.” 

“Ugh” 

“Tell me about it, kid.” 

“Why do you even like Ralph? He’s so boring. Mom says you’re too good for him.”

Agatha bristled. Why would Wanda say something like that, and why would Billy be in a position to overhear it? 

“In twenty minutes, the brownies will be done. I think that’s just enough time for me to destroy you in Snakes and Ladders,”  Agatha bargained, trying to get Billy to stop talking about Thanksgiving or his apparent dislike for Ralph. 

“You always win,” Billy whined. 

“If I let you beat me, how will you ever get better?” Agatha asked. “Also, I like seeing your little face turn red when you get frustrated. C’mon, I’ll give you pointers.”

Three games of Snakes and Ladders (Agatha won them all), and one shared brownie Sunday later, Agatha walked Billy back home. Wanda opened the door before Agatha even had a chance to knock. 

“Tell Aunt Agatha thank you,” Wanda instructed. Billy wrapped his arms tightly around Agatha’s waist. 

“Thank you,” he said into her stomach. Agatha laughed lightly, and ruffled his hair. 

“No worries, kiddo. Be good”

“Mom, did you know Aunt Agatha has to go to see Ralph’s family for Thanksgiving? Isn’t that awful?”

“I’d rather she spend it with us, too, baby,” Wanda soothed, laughing lightly. 

“You should tell her to spend it with us. She’s too good for Ralph. Remember you said that?” Billy enthused. 

Wanda flushed bright red. “Billy, you must’ve misheard me. Go to your room. Now.” 

Billy frowned but did as he was told. The kid was too obedient for his good. Agatha was waiting patiently for the day he grew a backbone, but she wasn’t certain it would ever actually come. 

“Ags, I’m so sorry. I don’t know where that came from. We love Ralph. Sure, I wish he were more supportive of your work, but he’s a good man and we’re grateful to have both of you in our lives.” 

Agatha stiffened as Wanda tried to clean up the mess Billy had made. “I’m tired. Your kid is exhausting.” Agatha spat, turned around, and walked back home without saying another word. 

Late that night, as Realph snored softly beside her, Agatha thought about what Billy had said. You’re too good for him. The words felt sticky in her brain. They were like a crack in a ceiling that was about to cave in, and Agatha wasn’t entirely sure how to stop it. 

…

The drive to Ralph’s parents' house wasn’t too bad. They lived in an affluent suburb outside of Boston, about two hours away from Westview. As they pulled into Ralph’s parents' driveway, Ralph reached across the car and gently squeezed the top of Agatha’s thigh. 

“You’ll have fun, I promise.” Ralph encouraged. 

Agatha chewed at her bottom lip. “Fake it till you make it, I guess.” She sighed. 

One bonus of marrying into the Bohner family was that Ralph had no siblings. This meant that Agatha didn’t have to deal with any extended family and the chaos that could have brought. The holiday would just be her, Ralph, and his parents. 

Sometimes, Agatha wondered if having siblings would make Ralph’s family dynamic easier for her to deal with. He was nauseatingly close to his mother, and his parents both always had a microscopic lens on him, eager to know every detail about his life— what was happening at the university, in his bowling league, what Agatha had been making for dinner, how the sermons at their church were going. It was frankly exhausting. 

As they walked up to Ralph’s parents' door, Ralph grabbed Agatha’s hand, signaling for her to stop walking. There was a slight flush to his cheeks, and he wore a guilty-looking smile. 

“Ralph” Agatha hissed, knowing whatever was about to come out of his mouth was going to piss her off. 

Ralph smiled sheepishly. “I just wanted to let you know that I already told mom that we’re, y’know.”  Ralph cleared his throat. “Trying.” 

Agatha shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Just in case she says anything on the topic. You know how she is.”  He waved a hand dismissively. 

Before Agaatha had a chance to respond, Ralph’s parents' door swung wide open, and Ralph’s mother rushed out. Marcy Bohner wrapped her son in a bear hug so tight that Agatha could hear the air being squeezed out of Ralph’s body. 

“My beautiful boy!” Marcy cooed.” It’s been too long!”

“Hi, Ma,” Ralph smiled. 

“You have to stop hiding him from us,” Marcy pointed to Agatha. 

Agatha wasn’t entirely sure if this was a joke or not, so she laughed lightly and hoped for the best. Marcy let go of Ralph and hugged Agatha. Luckily, it was only with about one-tenth of the enthusiasm with which she had hugged her son. 

“You look well, dear. You’re practically glowing. You and Ralph might have some good news, I hope?” Marcy whispered into Agatha’s ear. 

Agatha resisted the urge to roll her eyes and grit her teeth. “Not yet”. She answered tightly. 

Marcy looked at her skeptically, “You don’t know until you know.” She smiled and lifted her eyebrows. 

“Let’s head inside!” Ralph interrupted. “Is Dad already watching the game?” 

The day passed easily. Agatha helped Marcy with the finishing touches on the meal while Ralph watched football with his dad. Then, they all ate too much turkey, shared a couple of bottles of wine, and played a game of bridge. Agatha swiftly won, of course. Ralph’s dad took the loss with a smile, but Ralph’s mother seemed genuinely upset. 

“Aggie’s got a competitive streak.” Ralph smiled and pecked a kiss on her cheek. 

Ralph’s mother frowned deeply. “I don’t think women should get so invested in card games.”

“That's only because you can’t play to save your life.” Ralph’s father teased. Ralph guffawed loudly, and Agatha hid her smirk. The man wasn’t wrong. 

“My head is starting to pound.” Marcy announced, “I’m going to head to bed. There are extra towels and clean sheets on the bed in the guestroom. 

“We’ll head back to our place. The drive isn’t long,” Agatha started, but was interrupted by Ralph. 

“That's perfect, thanks, ma.” 

Agatha smiled at her in-laws and leaned over to whisper in Ralph’s ear. “We didn’t pack to stay the night, hon.” She reminded him lowly. 

“Aggie, don't worry! I always keep a few clothes here for Ralph, and I bought some clothes for you just in case.” Marcy butted in. 

“Ma, you’re the best!” Ralph beamed. 

Agatha tried to smile but was fairly certain it came out as a grimace. 

In the guest room, Agatha learned that her definition of a few clothes and Marcy’s definition were drastically different. Lying on the bed were no less than four dresses, two sweaters, a pajama set, and a set of lingerie in dark blue- Ralph’s favorite color. Additionally, there was a small wrapped box with a label that read ‘for later,’ featuring a heart drawn on it. 

Ralph saw it and laughed immediately, tearing off the wrapping paper.  Agatha watched, frowning. 

Ralph looked at her indulgently. “Aggie, it’s okay to accept gifts from my parents. This is one of the ways mom tells us she loves us.”

“And her words aren't enough?” Agatha grumbled. “She bought me lingerie, Ralph. You don’t think that’s a little odd?”

Ralph looked at the lacy babydoll negligee and grinned wolfishly. 

“I think you should try it on” 

“I’m not wearing lingerie your mom picked out.” Agatha insisted. 

“I mean, you know that I think you look sexy wearing anything. My personal favorite is when you wear nothing.” Ralph said smoothly and walked over to Agatha.

“Sit down,” he told her, gesturing to the bed. “Let me take care of you.” 

Agatha’s cheeks flushed. Ralph only ever used that phrase when he wanted to go down on her. She was never crazy about it, but, she prefers it to giving him a blow job, and sex is usually slightly less painful when Ralph eases her into it this way. 

Ralph unbuttoned Agatha’s shirt and slipped it off her. He kissed her bare shoulder as he unclasped her bra, and then he sank onto his knees. He pulled down her skirt and underpants and gently spread her legs.

“Relax, honey,” Ralph said, as he tried to jam a finger inside of her.

Agatha inhaled sharply at the burning sensation. She closed her eyes and tried to think calm thoughts. She pictured the woods and the lake Rio had shown her. Ralph began giving open-mouthed kisses to her sex, and Agatha found the sensation not entirely unpleasant. She thought about the big pines that grew on the path she and Rio would walk. 

Then she thought about Rio, her deep brown eyes, her shiny hair, the little gap between her teeth, and her perfect nose. She thought about Rio’s slender waist and the gentle curve of her breasts; she thought about what Rio’s nipple would look like. Would it be pink like hers, or duskier? Sh thought about RIo’s strong and capable hands, and her plush lips, and what it would feel like if Rio’s tongue was lapping at her clit instead of Ralph’s. Agatha imagined fisting her hand into Rio’s hair. The determined look that would be across Rio’s face if she were kneeling between Agatha’s legs. Suddenly, Agatha felt a tightening in her lower belly, and a release unlike anything she’d experienced before. She gasped involuntarily and then gave a shuddering groan. 

“Aggie,” Ralph grinned up at her. His mouth was covered in her wetness. “I think we finally got you to come.” He smiled happily. “What was different about that? I want to make sure it happens again,” he insisted. 

Agatha blanched. It wasn’t like she could outright admit to him, Oh, I was just imagining your colleague eating me out instead of you. 

“I dunno,” Agatha lied as she tried to catch her breath.

Ralph got up and kissed her. “It’s okay. Lay back, honey. I was reading up on this, and if we both come, there’s a better chance something will take.” 

Agatha lay herself back on the bed silently. Ralph quickly crawled onto her and slid inside her. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt at all. It wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t painful. Ralph breathed heavily as he pumped in and out of Agatha, and Agatha counted down from one hundred. Per usual, Ralph came when she got to the fifties.  Ralph slid out of her and flopped down next to her. Eventually, he shifted to his side and pulled Agatha so she was flush against him. He put his hand on the soft curve of Agatha’s lower tummy. 

“That ought to do it,” He chuckled and kissed the top of Agatha’s head. 

He quickly drifted off to sleep, but Agatha stayed awake, mind racing. What had made this experience different than the others? It was clear as day—Rio. Agatha felt tears rush down her cheeks, but they weren’t from sadness. If anything, she felt a deep sense of calm and relief. She wasn’t broken, she’d just been doing it all wrong. Agatha realized two things almost immediately: 1. She was a dyke, and 2. She needed a divorce. 

Chapter Text

During the car ride home from Ralph’s parents' house, Agatha thought about her options. Faking her own death sounded pretty appealing—no need for a divorce attorney, and no need to have a real conversation with Ralph. 

But Agatha has always been a realist and knows that she doesn’t have the resources or funds to disappear without a trace. So, as soon as they pulled into the driveway of their quaint little colonial, Agatha turned to her husband with a sigh. 

“I’m not happy, Ralph.”

Ralph frowned and reached over to grab Agatha’s hand. Agatha let him. “I thought yesterday went well. You didn’t have fun?” Ralph frowned. 

Agatha bit into her bottom lip. “It’s not about the holiday. It’s deeper. I’m not happy living like this, and I can’t keep pretending that this is what I want.” 

Ralph stared at Agatha in shock. 

“I wasn’t honest with you last night. When we were having sex.” Agatha continued.

“What?” Ralph choked out, his forehead was starting to glisten with sweat. 

“It was different because I wasn’t thinking about you.” 

“That’s okay, honey. It’s normal for your mind to wander. Maybe you were just thinking too hard about me before?” Ralph rushes out.

Agatha shakes her head, “I was thinking about a woman, Ralph. That’s why I had an orgasm last night.” Agatha admitted quietly. “I’m only attracted to women.” 

“Aggie, please don’t panic. We’ll get you help. This isn’t your fault, and there are people who can bring you back to normal. I have a cousin who-”

Agatah cut him off abruptly. “Please, stop.” 

“Honey, it’s going to be okay. Don’t panic, we’ll get through this.” Ralph gave her a reassuring smile. 

“I’ve never been attracted to you that way, Ralph.” 

Ralph shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You deserve to be with someone who can actually love you.” 

“You do love me!” 

“Not romantically. I love you as a friend. You’re a good man, and I’m so grateful for all you’ve done for me.” Agatha said truthfully. 

Ralph began to hyperventilate. “Why now?” He asked after a moment. He was fully crying now. 

“Why would you bring this up now? We’re building a life together, Agatha. We’re trying to have a baby. You could be pregnant right now. What do you want? A divorce? You want to divorce me, and you’re having my baby? Jesus Christ.” Ralph cried. 

“Ralph, I’m not pregnant.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” 

“I’d know if I was,” Agatha tried to assure him. “I would know.” She repeated, this time to assure herself. 

Ralph looked at her with a coolness she had never seen in him before. His eyes were full of rage. 

“Your mother warned me before I married you. I thought she was just a crazy bitch, but now I know she was right.” He laughed bitterly. “She told me you would ruin my life. You're just as bad as she is. Thank god you’re not pregnant.” Ralph gritted out. “You’d be a terrible mother. Look at who your example was.” 

Agatha’s stomach flipped. Ralph was right. How could she have ever thought she was capable of motherhood? Tears pooled quickly in her eyes. 

“I think you should go back to your parents for a few days. I’m going to pack some of my things and figure out my next steps.” 

“You’re the most selfish person I have ever met.” Ralph spat. 

Agatha knew he was right. Only a selfish person would do what she’d done—string him along for years, lie beside him every night knowing she couldn’t love him, but never leaving.  She had used him for stability and as a means to escape her mother's clutches. 

“You’re a good man, Ralph.” Agatha reminded him as she wiped her eyes. 

“You’re evil,” Ralph sneered. “Your mother was right, you’ve completely ruined my life.” He turned the car back on and sped out of the driveway. 

By Saturday morning, Agatha had managed to pack her things completely. She packed with a focused intensity bordering on mania. She didn’t have a plan, and instead of figuring one out, she focused all of her eneergy into folding clothes and putting them in boxes, going through the library and figuring out which books were her and which were Ralph’s, and trying to decide which household items she could claim as her own. She was fairly certain Wanda and Vision would give her a loan to help her get an apartment for herself, and she could take things from there. 

Once all of her sealed boxes were by the door, Agatha spent a solid twenty minutes simply staring at them in awe. She was still waiting for a sense of regret to come wash over her, but it never came. Instead, she felt awake, excited, and relieved. She was smiling dumbly at the boxes when her doorbell rang. 

Outside, Wanda stood nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot. Agatha opened the door, and instead of coming in like she normally would, Wanda stayed a few feet back, eyeing Agatha cautiously. 

“Yes?” Agatha asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Wanda smiled tentatively at Agatha, but kept her distance. “So Ralph called,” Wanda said evenly. 

Agatha laughed bitterly. “I thought you’d be relieved.” 

Wanda blinked at her, confused. “Received? Agatha, you’re unwell. Why would I be relieved?”

“Didn’t you say I was too good for him?” Agatha scoffed, disappointed and surprised that Wanda wasn’t supportive.

Wanda’s face scrunched in confusion. “Ags, what are you talking about?”

“I’m leaving, Ralph.”

Wanda’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. Then, her brows furrowed, and she looked furious. 

“Are you really this upset over the demise of my marriage?” Agatha asked pointedly. “I thought you were a recovering catholic.” 

Wanda gave a startled laugh. “Agatha, Ralph told us you were having a psychotic break. That you  kicked him out of the house, and that he needed help getting you to a psychiatric hospital.”

Agatha’s jaw dropped. “What the fuck?”

Wanda nodded tightly. “I’m pissed that the asshat convinced me I needed to go off and get my best friend commited.”  Then Wanda smiled, viciously. “I’m thrilled that you’re leaving him.” 

“I’d hardly call us best friends,” Agatha raised an eyebrow. 

Wanda laughed, sounding like herself for the first time that day. “That’s what you’re choosing to focus on?” 

Agatha shrugged noncommittally. 

“So what's next? How can I help?” Wanda asked. 

Agatha felt her cheeks grow warm. “I was hoping I could get a loan from you and Vision. To get a hotel room until I can find a place, and for the first month's rent wherever I end up. I need to get my own bank account.”

Wanda grinned. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll stay with us until we can find you a new place. You’re family, Ags.” 

Agatha couldn’t help the mile that broke across her face. It was true. The Maximoffs were her found family. Agatha had community; she didn’t need Ralph. 

“C’mon. Let's go get Vision to come and help us take all of these boxes over to our house,” Wanda suggested. Agatha didn’t even try to hide the smile that broke out across her face. 

…

It was true that Agatha had no distinct idea as to what her life might look like after ending her marriage, but she had expected to at least have solitude and time to think about what might come next. The universe had other plans.

Since the Maximoff house was only a two-bedroom, Agatha slept in one of the twins’ beds, while the boys slept in their parents' room. Or, at least that was the original plan. 

But after the third night straight of Billy sneaking back into his room, waking Agatha up, only to whisper-shout “Don’t tell mom”, and crawling into bed with her to promptly fall into the type of deep sleep only children can seem to get, Agatha relented and suggested that Billy move back in with her. That was the current arrangement that had been going on for about two weeks. 

Agatha was still in her pajamas and robe, but all members of the Maximoff family were already completely dressed and looked like a Norman Rockwell painting. Agatha, on her second week of calling out of classes because she was sick with a ‘flu’, figured there was no real reason for her to get dressed. According to Dr. Hart, Rio had taken over her teaching and her classes were ‘better than ever’. 

“Auntie Agatha,” Billy smiled at her over breakfast. A little bit of maple syrup was dribbling down his cheek. Agatha thought about wiping it, but she figured it wasn’t her job. 

“What's up, kid?” Agatha asked as she took another sip of coffee.

“Are you gonna live with us forever?” 

“Billy!” Wanda scolded. Agatha chuckled. 

“You trying to get rid of me? I thought we had a good thing going, roomie.” Agatha teased. 

Billy wrinkled his nose. “I’m getting sick of having to leave whenever you need to change your clothes. Tommy doesn’t make me do that.” 

“I mean, you don’t have to leave,” Agatha mused casually. 

“Yes, you do,” Wanda says firmly. 

“It could be very modern of us. Maybe we all stop wearing clothes, embrace our natural states?” Agatha suggested mischievously 

“YES!” Tommy shouted and quickly began to take off his shirt. 

“Tommy, get dressed, right now!” Wanda warned. Tommy, of course, immediately put his shirt back on.

“Lame,” Agatha coughed into her coffee. Billy giggled, but Vision and Wanda’s eyes met over the table. 

Vision cleared his throat shyly. “I actually think I might have found somewhere for you to stay a bit more long-term.” 

“You sick of me too, Vis?” Agatha drawled. Vision laughed awkwardly, but didn’t say no. 

Wanda waved a hand dismissively. “He just misses us having the bed to ourselves”. Wanda smiled coyly, “Don’t you, dear.” 

Agatha resisted the urge to gag into her coffee. 

“I’ve been thinking about getting an investment property for some time.” Vision said cheerily. “And a duplex by the college just came on the market for a steal. The top unit already has a tenant who is paying above market, and the bottom unit can be yours.” 

“We won’t charge rent until you already have some savings,” Wanda added. 

Agatha stared at them in awe. “Are you sure?” She asked softly. 

“It’s no trouble,” Vision smiled. 

Agatha felt an unsettling combination of embarrassment and gratitude. 

Later that evening, when the Maximoffs were all at a school fundraiser, the doorbell rang. Agatha ignored it and continued reading her crime thriller, but the person on the other side of the door kept persistently ringing the bell. Agatha’s stomach dropped. The only person who would possibly be this insistent on speaking with her was Ralph. He must’ve seen her coming in and out of the house and realized she was staying with Wanda. 

Agatha went downstairs and opened the door, just a crack. “Give me ten minutes.” She demanded and promptly shut the door in Ralph’s face. She then quickly smoothed her hair, changed into real clothes, and put on a bit of lipstick. Agatha didn’t want Ralph to see her relaxing in just her pajamas. It felt too intimate. Clothes would act like armor, shielding her from him. 

Agatha opened the door and stepped outside. The late November air was cold even through her thick wool sweater. 

“What do you want, Ralph?”  She asked, narrowing her eyes. She looked at Ralph and felt an ache in her chest. He had bags under his eyes, and he looked thinner than when she saw him last. He hadn’t bothered to shave, and his hair was a tangled mess.

He began to cry, and Agatha felt tears begin to pool in her own eyes. She swallowed thickly and wiped them away. 

“I don’t think coming to see me was a good idea.” She said softly. “You should go home. Try and get some rest.” 

Ralph laughed bitterly. “You don’t have to pretend to care about me anymore.” 

“I do care about you.” 

“Then come home,” Ralph countered. “Aggie, please, just come home.” 

Agatha sighed deeply and shook her head. 

“Dr. Hart is getting worried. He’s thinking about giving your classes to Vidal permanently. You need to come home and come back to work if you don’t want to be fired.” 

Agatha laughed at Ralph’s audacity. “I’ll come back to work, but I’m not going to move back in and keep living a lie.” 

“Nobody knows you’ve left, Aggie.” Ralph reached out to grab her hand, Agatha took a step back, and Ralph flinched. 

“I asked Vision to keep quiet about it, and he agreed. No one has to know.” 

“Why shouldn’t they know?” Agatha asked.

“I’m giving you space to come back to your senses, Agatha. If we tell everyone what's going on, we’ll be a laughing stock when you come back.” 

“I’m not coming back.” Agatha gritted out. 

Ralph laughed, but it was slightly threatening. “I’m going to get you back. Love always wins, Aggie.” 

“Goodbye, Ralph.” Agatha began to walk back towards the door, but Ralph grabbed her wrist. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Agatha snarled. 

“I’m your husband.” 

“Not for long.” 

Ralph began to turn red. “Dr. Hart will fire you if I ask him to. We both know it’s true. You’ll have no job, and no one will give you a reference.”  

“You wouldn’t” 

“People can surprise you.” Ralph glared at her. “You won’t be able to afford a divorce attorney, and I’ll get everything. You’ll have to move back in with your mother.” 

Agatha felt faint at the thought. 

“Give me until the end of spring semester to get you to fall in love with me again, Aggie,” Ralph begged softly. There was a sweetness in his face that reminded Agatha a little bit of Billy. 

“We’ll pretend everything is normal at work in the meantime. Then, at the end of six months, if you still don’t want to be with me, I’ll let you go. We’ll sell the house, and you can have half the money.” 

Agatha stared at Ralph, slack-jawed. Was he really dumb enough to think he could win her back?  Agatha could survive six months of diplomacy for a payout like that.

“Okay.” 

Ralph’s face lit up, “Really?” 

“I want it in writing, and notarized. That after six months, if I still want a divorce you’ll give me one freely, we will sell the house, and I’ll get half the money.” 

“It won’t be necessary,” Ralph smirked. “I think I’ll have you coming home in a few weeks.” 

Agatha resisted the urge to scream. “If you don’t have the paperwork, I’m telling everyone at work that I left you. Consequences be damned.”  A risky bargain, but Agatha was nearly certain Ralph was self-confident and delusional enough to take it. 

“Okay, honey.” 

“Goodbye, Ralph,” Agatha sighed, and closed the door in his face. 

…

When Agatha finally came back to work, the first item on her schedule was a department meeting.  Agatha doesn’t often want to eat her words, but when Ralph walked in and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and a cup of tea, she wished she never agreed to Ralph’s stupid fucking scheme. 

Dr. Hart blathers on about the upcoming midterms and student satisfaction rates, and Agatha tunes him out completely. Instead, she chooses to focus on Rio, who is sitting across from her at the conference table, and has spent the entire meeting refusing to meet Agatha's eye. Agatha knows it’s because of what happened during their last walk. A sour feeling starts in her stomach at the thought of it. What if her relationship with Rio never recovers? 

Since the incident, which is how Agatha refers to her epiphany and subsequent collapse of her marriage, Agatha has spent hours trying to figure out why it was Rio. She barely knows the woman. How has Rio so thoroughly wormed her way into Agatha’s psyche? 

Was it Rio specifically, or could it have happened with any woman? Today, Rio is wearing a pair of men's trousers and a soft-looking pastel green sweater. Agatha can see the outline of Rio’s breasts through the sweater perfectly—they look just big enough to hold in the palm of her hand. Rio licks her lips, and Agatha feels her heart begin to flutter. She stares down intently at the floor and tries to steady herself. 

“Agatha” 

Agatha looked up and noticed both Ralph and Dr. Hart staring at her, looking concerned. Rio was glaring at her notebook so menacingly that Agatha wondered what it had done to offend her. 

“Aggie, Dr. Hart was just checking to make sure you’re well enough to teach. You are, right?” Ralph smiled at her encouragingly. 

Agatha had been so lost in thought that she completely missed the question. She cleared her throat, embarrassed. 

“Of course,” Agatha smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. 

“And when you decide you’re ready to stay at home and rest, I just want you to know Vidal can easily take over your classes.” Dr. Hart gave a condescending smile. 

“Excuse me?”  Agatha asked, confused and already getting angry.

“Well, you certainly won’t want to work up until you give birth, that would be absurd.” Dr. Hart chuckled. 

Agatha saw red. She clenched her teeth and took a deep breath. 

“Dr. Hart, I’m afraid you’re confused. I was out with the flu, I’m not pregnant.” She practically growled. 

Dr. Hart and Rio both looked at Agatha, surprised. 

“But Ralph said-” Dr. Hart began. 

Ralph laughed awkwardly as Agatha glared at him with fury. 

“I said I thought we might be expecting. Not that we were sure,” Ralph admitted sheepishly. 

“We are not,” Agatha announced succinctly. “But I’m glad you seem to think you know my body better than I do, Ralph.  How charming.” Agatha snarled. She quickly stuffed her things into her bag and stormed out. 

Agatha was walking towards the bus stop after she finished teaching when she spotted Rio leaving the history building. They locked eyes, and Agatha saw Rio hesitate before frowning slightly and walking towards her.

“I’ve missed you,” Agatha said candidly with a small smile when Rio approached. Rio’s frown deepened. 

“I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry about what happened during the meeting. And I want to make sure you know that I’m not trying to steal your classes or anything.” Rio said quickly and looked over Agatha’s head instead of into her eyes as she spoke. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Agatha mumbled, feeling anything but. 

“Good. Have a nice evening.” Rio said stiffly and turned away brusquely. Agatha felt as if she’d been slapped. 

“Rio, wait!” She called out, cringing at how desperate her voice sounded. “Would you want to go for a walk again?” She asked. 

Rio turned to Agatha with wide-eyed surprise that quickly morphed into something more volatile. Agatha suddenly felt nauseous. 

“You can’t do this, Agatha,” Rio said, finally looking at her. Agatha felt a warm pool in her stomach as she stared into Rio’s eyes. “It’s not fair.” Rio spat.

Agatha watched Rio leave, and then she abruptly threw up into the bushes. 

Chapter Text

Agatha had been living on the top floor of the duplex for an entire week and had come to realize that living alone was the greatest luxury she had ever experienced. She didn’t have to pick up after Ralph; she could eat whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, she got to decorate however she liked, and watch whatever she wanted on the television. 

The furniture in her apartment was all brand new and high-end— Wanda and Vision had decided to furnish the apartment as part of their ‘investment’, but Agatha knew that it was just to make sure she wasn’t sleeping on the floor.

Overall, life was good, but there were a few undesirable consequences of living alone. Agatha, on days when she didn’t have to teach, wouldn’t leave the house and had no reason to speak to anyone. When she finally emerged from her solitude, interacting with people again was awkward. It was almost as if she were in a play and nobody bothered to give her a script. The other aspect of living by herself that Agatha wasn’t crazy about was the literal act of being alone. She didn’t miss Ralph, but she missed having someone close by—being touched by another person, hearing someone walking in another room, knowing that she wasn’t entirely and utterly alone. This feeling is ultimately what led her to agree to take in the cat. 

A few days after Agatha moved into her new place, Wanda called with news that a stray cat had given birth underneath her porch.  Agatha’s first reaction was to ask why Wanda thought this was her problem. Wanda laughed good naturedly and offered Agatha a kitten. Agatha had always wanted a kitten as a little girl, but her mother thought that animals have no souls and don’t deserve to be kept in the house for that reason. She had thought about getting a pet with Ralph, early in their marriage, but Ralph was horrifically allergic to cats and dogs.  So when Wanda called, offering Agatha a kitten, Agatha’s first instinct was to decline. Then, she realized she didn’t need to. 

This is how Wanda and Billy wound up at her door holding a cardboard box with something meowing inside. 

“Auntie Agatha!” Billy exclaimed, smiling widely. “We brought you Scratchy!” 

“Scratchy?” Agatha asked, raising an eyebrow. Then she saw Wanda and understood. Before she knew it, Agatha was fully cackling. It was the type of laugh that shook her whole body and hurt her abs.  

The skin on Wanda’s arms looked as though someone tried to take a cheese grater to it. Red scratches covered her hands, and she even had one across her cheek. 

“You look like you lost a fight with a paper shredder. You really think I’m going to take in the monster who did this to you?” Agatha wheezed. 

“He’s nice, Aunt Agatha. I promise. “Mom tried to give him a bath him and this is what happened. I tried to tell her cats hate water.” 

Wanda gave Billy a pointed look. “He had fleas.”

“Oh, so you’re trying to pass them along to me now. Thanks.” Agatha said.

“At the cost of the skin on my arms, the fleas are gone.” Wanda deadpanned. 

Billy had already slipped through the open door with the box and was sitting on the carpet, whispering into it. Wanda followed her son into the living room and sat promptly on the couch. 

“Come on in, make yourselves at home,” Agatha muttered, sat next to Billy, and peered inside the box. 

The sight inside made her melt. The kitten was absolutely tiny. It looked as though it could fit into the palm of her hand. He was jet black and had sparkling green eyes. Agatha slowly put her hand in the box, and the kitten tentatively sniffed at her fingers before nuzzling against them. 

“Hey, Scratch,” She whispered. 

“He likes you,” Billy grinned. Billy then quickly and somewhat violently scooped the kitten up, grabbing it in his hand. Scratchy began to meow in protest. 

Agatha took Scratchy from Billy and cradled the kitten to her chest. 

“Hi,” She told him softly. 

“Why are you crying?” Billy asked, frowning. 

“I'm not.” Agatha retorted, even though she felt a tear running down her cheek. 

Wanda snorted. “Your auntie Agatha is a big softie, that’s why she’s crying.” 

“I just got a little dust in my eye.” 

“Sure,” Wanda grinned, raising an eyebrow. 

“Billy, why don't you set up the litter box we brought? Agatha, where do you want it?” Wanda asked. 

“I’ll put it in the guest room, but you don’t have to worry about it. I’ll take care of it, and you guys can head home now.” Agatha said, getting up and walking towards the door. 

“Nonsense! It will only take a few minutes! Billy, go ahead!” Wanda chirped, and Agatha sighed into the top of Scratchy’s head. 

“You’re not getting rid of me that fast,” Wanda smirked once Billy left the room. Wanda got up, walked to the kitchen, and started rifling through Agatha’s cabinets. 

“You want some water? Or wine?” Wanda asked. 

Agatha ignored her, sat back down on the couch, and set Scratchy down. He crawled immediately into her lap and rolled up like a little cinnamon bun. Agatha almost didn’t want to breathe, in case she disturbed him. 

Wanda came back into the living room with two glasses of ice water, and handed it to Agatha. She looked at Agatha too earnestly. 

“How have you been?” She aksed. 

“Fine” 

Wanda gave Agatha a hard look. “You left your husband, and all you have to say is that you’re fine?”

Agatha groaned. “Do you want me to say I’m miserable? That I’m lonely, and scared?” She mocked. 

“I want you to be honest with me, Ags.” 

Agatha exhaled slowly and gently rubbed behind Scratchy’s ears. “I’m okay. It’s different and new but not bad.” 

“Do you miss him?” 

Agatha laughed, startled by the question. 

“I wouldn’t say I miss Ralph, but I do miss having someone around.” 

Wanda nodded her head and smiled gently, “Well, we can be more around, if you’d like.”

Agatha rolled her eyes, “This is getting a little after-school special, don't you think?”

“Mom! I’m done!” Billy called, smiling proudly as he came back into the living room. 

“Thank you very much, Billiam.” Agatha teased. 

“That’s not my name, and you know it.” Billy frowned. 

“Are you sure?” Agatha asked, “I’ve seen your birth certificate.”

“She has not.” Wanda quickly assured him, giving Agatha a disappointed look over her son's head. 

“I wanna go home,” Billy frowned. 

Agatha’s heart clenched. Maybe she’d gone too far.

 “Library on Saturday?” She asked, an olive branch, if she’d ever seen one. 

Billy gave her a big gap-toothed smile in response. “Obviously,” He said, and rolled his eyes. 

Agatha laughed in response. 

…

On Sunday morning, after a Saturday night spent staying up entirely too late playing with Scratchy and finishing up her mystery novel, a loud knock on her door woke Agatha. 

“Just a minute!”  She called as she got out of bed and slipped into her bathrobe. The only person it could possibly be was Wanda, so it didn’t matter if she had real clothes on or not. 

“Yes?” Agatha drawled as she opened the door. She looked up and saw that it was not Wanda at her door, but Professor Calderu instead. Agatha’s mouth dropped, and she blinked stupidly at the older woman on the other side of the door. 

“Agatha?”  Professor Calderu asked, looking confused. She was also holding a pie. The fuck was going on?

“What are you doing here?” Agatha asked, wrapping her robe tightly around her. 

“I came to meet my new neighbor. I was told it was a single woman, but Vision must’ve been mistaken. I didn’t realize you and Ralph didn’t own your home. Is he still sleeping?” 

“You live downstairs?” Agatha asked, shook. 

“Yes?” Lilia answered, slightly offended. 

“All of those years as a tenured professor, and you rent in this neighborhood?” 

Lilia frowned. “I made some bad investments.” 

Agatha laughed out loud. “I’d say.” 

“Well, now that I know it’s just you and Ralph, I’ll be going back downstairs. No need to give away a perfectly good pie.” Lilia grumbled. 

Agatha cleared her throat. “It’s not me and Ralph.” 

Lilia turned around. “Oh?”.

“I left him. So Vision was right. Your new neighbor is a single woman.” 

“Oh, honey” Lilia breathed out. “Are you okay?” 

Agatha laughed, but there wasn’t any humor in it. “God, why is everybody asking me that?” 

“It’s a big change.” 

“You don’t have to tell me.” 

“I was a wreck after my first divorce.” Lilia smiled gently. 

“You were married?”

“Christ, you don’t have to look so shocked, Agatha.” 

Agatha shrugged. “Well, if that's all, I’ll be seeing you around. Shame about the pie.” 

Lilia rolled her eyes and handed Agatha the pie. 

Agatha smiled victoriously. 

“Thank you, professor.” 

“Lilia” 

Agatha sighed. “Thank you, Lilia.” 

“Come to Sunday supper tonight. I’m making gravy. 6 pm. Bring the pie.” Lilia turned around and left. 

…

Agatha rang Lilia’s doorbell and shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she waited for the older woman to answer the door. Lilia was taking too much time, and Agatha debated putting the pie down on the stoop and going back upstairs. 

Just as Aagtha bent to put the pie down, the door swung open. But, because today the universe seemed to enjoy playing tricks on Agatha, it wasn’t Lilia standing on the threshold. It was Rio. 

Agatha gasped with surprise and found her face breaking into a large smile. 

“Oh my goodness!” She exclaimed. 

Rio promptly shut the door in Agatha’s face. Agatha stood, staring at the door for a solid twenty seconds before it opened again, and Rio stood behind it, scowling. 

“My hand slipped,” Rio said. “What are you doing here?” Rio glared. 

Agatha felt her stomach sink.  She understood what was happening. Rio was so disgusted by Agatha having kissed her that she couldn’t bear to be in the same room. Well, no need to kick a dead horse. 

“I’ll leave this with you and get going,” Agatha said stiffly, shoving the pie into Rio’s hands. 

Lilia came out of the kitchen wearing an apron stained with tomato sauce. “Don’t you dare, Harkness. Sit down, play nice. Dinner is just about done.” 

Lilia smirked, “Rio, meet my new neighbor, Agatha. I think you may already be acquainted.” Lilia laughed at her own joke. 

Rio looked between Agatha and Lilia disbelievingly. Finally, she stared at Agatha, keeping her face dangerously neutral. 

“And Ralph?” Rio asked carefully. 

“I left him,” Agatha replied. 

Rio grinned widely and exhaled. “Congratulations.” 

Rio stepped forward, and Agatha’s heart sped up, thinking Rio was going to hug her. Instead, Rio floated in front of her awkwardly for a moment and then sank back. 

“You’re the first person who's said that.” Agatha smiled. 

“I mean it,” Rio said earnestly. 

Agatha was surprised at Rio’s sudden change in demeanor, but she figured that Rio must understand that such a big life change is exciting and that being supportive was the friendly thing to do. 

Dinner was delicious—Classic Spaghetti and meatballs. Lilia was responsible for most of the conversation, entertaining Agatha with tales of Rio as an undergraduate at Smith. Rio was still more closed off than before the incident, but was at least making eye contact with Agatha and smiling at her jokes. The night was perfectly pleasant until Lilia brought up Rio’s senior dissertation.

“Lilia, that was almost fifteen years ago,” Rio groaned. 

“And it was brilliant, honey. The most perfect paper I’d ever read from a student.” 

“Except for the citations,” Rio grumbled and rolled her eyes. 

Lilia cackled. “The citations were a mess. She tried to invent her own system.” 

Rio blushed, and Agatha felt her own face rising in color at the sight. 

“I used MLA eventually,” Rio defended. 

“After I threatened to fail you.” Lilia laughed. 

Agatha let out a startled laugh. “MLA?” 

Rio looked at her, surprised. “It’s standard.” 

Agatha scoffed. “Not for history papers. Everyone who's published uses Chicago style.”

“Not everyone,” Rio grumbled. 

“Oh my god. You’ve  published an article and used MLA?” Agatha asked, horrified. 

“Chicago citation is so annoying. Footnotes are distracting and make readers lose focus.” 

“Footnotes are efficient and necessary.” Agatha felt her voice rising, and was surprised that she felt so strongly about this. 

“Which one of us has been published before?” Rio asked, lifting her eyebrows. 

“Agatha’s published!” Lilia piped in, getting up to clear their plates. 

“Papers that use Chicago citation are unreadable.” Rio bit out.

“For you, apparently. If you have this much trouble with reading comprehension, how the hell did you manage to get a phd?” Agatha drawled.

“By using MLA format on every single assignment.” Rio grinned maniacally. 

“Stop this nonsense! This is the most ridiculous fight I have ever witnessed.” Lilia shouted, frowning deeply. 

Rio had the decency to look embarrassed, and Agatha grinned viciously. 

“Thank you, Lilia. I agree, it is ridiculous to use MLA format for history papers.” Agatha said smugly. 

Rio glared at her. 

“No, Agatha.” Lilia sighed, “It’s ridiculous to care this much about citations. God, you’re both so young, and there's so much more to life than academic papers. You’re idiots.” Lilia’s voice was soft, and she smiled as she spoke. 

“Sorry, Lilia. Let's get that pie out for dessert, and then we’ll be out of your hair.” Rio smiled apologetically. 

“Oh no. You’ve worn me out. I’m going to bed. You can have dessert upstairs at Agatha’s.”

“That won't be necessary.” Agatha chimed in. 

“Lilia only makes her Ricotta pie once a year. If you think a little fight about citations is going to keep me from my favorite dessert, you are sorely mistaken.” Rio challenged.

Agatha felt slightly faint at the thought of being alone with Rio. Of Rio seeing her living space, of Rio sitting prettily at her table. Maybe it would be companionable and easy, like when they took walks, before Agatha went and ruined everything. 

Agatha realized, more than anything, and without a sound reason, she wanted Rio to come upstairs. 

Agatha cleared her throat. “Fine” 

“Good,” Rio nodded stubbornly. 

“Hope you’re not allergic to cats,” Agatha muttered.

Rio followed Agatha up the stairs into the apartment wordlessly and sat on the couch. Scratchy must have sensed Rio’s presence and stayed hidden in the guest room. 

Agatha got two plates and cut slices out of the pie, offering one to Rio. The silence stretched on awkwardly as they ate. Agatha thought that Rio might make conversation once they were settled, but instead, she just stared at Agatha.

“You’re infuriating, you know that, right?” Agatha asked after she finished her slice of pie.

“Pot meet kettle,”

Agatha frowned at Rio. “Let me put that pie in some Tupperware so you can get going.”

“Wait, no.” Rio looked at Agatha and seemed genuinely remorseful. Agatha swallowed thickly. 

 “I’m sorry. Chicago style isn’t illegible. I don’t know what got into me. Sometimes I don’t know when to back down,” Rio admitted softly, and her eyes crinkled as she smiled genuinely. 

Agatha’s heart clenched in her chest. 

 Agatha looked at Rio’s plump lips and felt her heart beat faster. She realized that this was a moment she would never come back from. 

“It’s okay.” Agatha gave a small smile. She gathered her courage, and placed her hand on Rio’s knee. It was warm and lovely, and she never wanted to let go. “I’ve never done anything like this before,” Agatha admitted shyly. 

“And what exactly are we doing?” Rio asked. There was a hint of teasing in her tone, and her eyes sparkled with a smile even if her lips didn’t show it. 

Agatha bit her bottom lip and stared at Rio for a moment, hoping she would do something, say something, anything, 

“I need to kiss you.” Agatha blurted. 

The words left her mouth before she could control them. She could feel her face flushing crimson. Rio was laughing softly. God, she probably thought Agatha was a freak.

“C’mere,” Rio said softly. 

Agatha blinked, surprised, and scooched next to Rio so their legs were touching. 

Rio turned and took Agatha’s face between her hands. “You have to promise me something,” Rio said softly. 

Agatha nodded, her heart racing inside her chest.

“I need to know that you’re not just doing this because you’re lonely. That I’m not just an easy target for you.” 

“I think you're the only target,” Agatha spoke softly. 

Rio blushed prettily, smiling. “Good,” She said, and leaned her head down to kiss Agatha. 

Agatha melted into the press of Rio’s lips against her own. Rio’s lips were just as soft and pillowy as she’d imagined. Agatha opened her mouth under Rio’s, and Rio nibbled at her bottom lip. Agatha felt the heat that had been pooling in her lower belly since Rio came into her home intensify.  Rio’s hand found its way into Agatha’s hair, and she cupped the back of Agatha’s head gently as she licked into her mouth. 

Agatha moved her hand down to Rio’s waist, and the fabric of Rio’s sweater scrunched up, exposing Rio’s toned stomach. Agatha splayed her hand on it, as they continued to kiss, and Rio guided Agatha’s hand to her breast. Agatha gently cupped it, feeling the hard bud of Rio’s nipple. 

Rio broke their kiss, panting. Her cheeks were flushed, and her pupils were blown out. “Is this okay?” 

Agatha clenched her thighs together and tried to tell Rio yes, but it came out as a whine. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Rio laughed softly, and went back to kissing Agatha. Rio shifted so Agatha was on top of her, and settled her thigh between Agatha’s legs. She began to kiss down Agatha’s neck. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t leave any marks,” Rio murmured into the crook of Agatha’s neck. 

Agatha wanted Rio to mark her. It would give her something tangible to prove that this was real. Rio’s hands slipped to Agatha’s waist, and she pressed her thigh higher into Agatha’s center. 

Agatha gasped at the sensation. She wondered if Rio could feel the wetness pooling in her underwear. She wondered if it was visible through her pants. Agatha instinctively began to rock back and forth on Rio’s thigh, pressing Rio into her. 

“That’s it, baby. Do what feels good.” Agatha melted at the pet name and began to ride Rio’s thigh in earnest. She could feel the familiar sensation of her stomach clenching up in anticipation. She was going to come. Agatha looked at Rio in surprise. Rio hadn’t even directly touched her, and she was going to come. Her mouth dropped open as her orgasm began to hit her. 

“Rio, I’m-” Agatha stuttered, and looked at Rio, embarrassed that this was happening just from a little kissing. Did this mean they just had sex? Agatha began to spiral. 

“Shh, sweetheart. Don’t think, just let it happen.” Rio guided, and Agatha nodded dumbly as her orgasm overtook her. Her toes curled, and she could feel herself clench around nothing. Rio smiled and gave Agatha a soft kiss on her hairline. 

Agatha’s breathing calmed, and she felt herself melt into Rio’s embrace.

“How are you feeling?” Rio asked softly.

“Like jello,” Agatha sighed happily.

“Hm. Never gotten that before.”  Rio chuckled. 

Agatha snorted out a laugh. “It was intense.”

“Was it okay? Are you okay?” 

“I think so,” Agatha nodded, biting her lip. 

“Do you want to get changed into something more comfortable and talk about what just happened?” Rio asked, and Agatha’s gut clenched at the hopeful look on the other woman's face. 

“I should probably get to bed. Thanks for stopping in.” Agatha said casually. Maybe if she played it very cool, Rio wouldn’t press the issue. 

“Okay, Agatha,” Rio said, and Agatha could see disappointment clear on her face. Rio walked towards the door.

“I don’t regret this,” Agatha said quickly. 

Rio turned and looked at her with a small smile. 

“I’d like to see you again, I mean.” Agatha clarified. 

Rio’s smile turned into a full-on smirk. “You’ll see me at school.” 

“That’s not what I meant, and you know that,” Agatha frowned. 

Rio laughed lightly and crossed the room to get to where Agatha was standing. She pressed a kiss to Agatha’s lips, quick and chaste but meaningful and intentional. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Rio whispered into the shell of Agatha’s ear before walking away and quickly slipping out the door. 

Chapter Text

Agatha couldn’t stop thinking about Rio. The way Rio smiled after she kissed her. The softness in Rio’s voice when she called Agatha ‘sweetheart’, the look of longing and disappointment on Rio’s face when Agatha refused to discuss what had just happened. 

Agatha spent all day Monday with these thoughts and other Rio-centered ideas swimming in the back of her mind. She played with Scratchy and wondered whether Rio liked cats. She roasted a chicken and wondered if Rio knew how to cook. Agatha found that she was practically counting down the minutes until she would see Rio again.

Then, reality came crashing down. The next time Agatha would see Rio would be at school, in a faculty meeting, where Ralph would, just like last time, pretend that they were still married and that everything was completely fine. Agatha felt a headache start to bloom at her temples. Fucking Ralph.

Agatha realized that she needed to tell Rio sooner rather than later what was going on. She dialed Rio’s number. Holding her breath as she anticipated what was likely going to be a mortifying phone call. 

“Hello?” Rio answered, and Agatha smiled immediately at hearing the low timbre of her voice. 

“It’s me.” 

Rio laughed into the phone. “Agatha? I  wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon.” Agatha could practically hear RIo’s smirk. She rolled her eyes at the other woman’s cockiness. 

“Well, I realized I need to tell you something rather important.” Agatha bit her lip. 

“Is everything alright?” Rio asked. Her voice sounded concerned, no longer teasing. 

“Yes. Well, sort of. It will be.” Agatha rambled, feeling nervous suddenly. 

“Okay, hold on just a sec,” Rio said. Agatha heard banging and clattering on the other end of the line. 

“What are you doing?” Agatha asked. 

“I’ve got a small woodworking setup in my living room, and I just needed to finish hammering something. 

“You do woodworking?” Agatha asked.

“A girl's gotta have hobbies. I’m finishing up a commission for a couple of chairs.” Rio said casually. 

Agatha was taken aback. “Where did you learn to woodwork?” 

“I took it up in college. I spent so much time reading and thinking about abstract theory that I felt useless. I needed to do something with my hands.” 

Agatha smiled. “That’s why I bake.” 

“I didn’t know you baked. You’ve never brought me anything!”

“You never asked.” 

“So, What’s up? Unless needing to tell me something was just an excuse to call?” Rio teased. 

“I wish,” Agatha sighed. “It’s about work.” 

“Mhm” 

“And Ralph.” 

“Ah,” Rio exclaimed.

“Yup,” Agatha said, popping the ‘p’. 

“He wants to pretend nothing has changed.”

Rio laughed, and Agatha could picture exactly what her face looked like. 

“I’m going to go along with it,” Agatha said softly. Rio immediately stopped laughing. 

“You don’t need to do that.” Rio insisted. 

“He threatened to have Hart fire me if I didn’t.”

“Fucking bastard,” Rio swore. 

“If I get fired, I can’t afford to live. I have no savings. And there’s no way I’d be able to afford a divorce lawyer.”

“Let me lend you some money.” 

Agatha ignored that. “If I go along with Ralph’s plan until the end of the spring semester, then he’ll sell the house and I’ll get half the money. I have it in writing and notarized.” 

Rio exhaled heavily. “I understand, but I don’t like it.” 

“We’re still separated. I only interact with him at work. I managed just fine last week.” 

Rio scoffs, “I wouldn’t call last week's faculty meeting spectacular.” 

Agatha groaned. “Look, I’m a grown woman. I’ll be fine. I’m not going back to him.” Agatha insisted. 

“I know,” Rio said gently. “You’re too smart for that.” 

Agatha exhaled relieved. “Want to take a walk on Monday before you teach?” 

“I’d love to,” Rio responded immediately. Agatha felt butterflies in her stomach.

 “See you then,” Agatha told Rio and hung up the phone. She realized her cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. 

…

About a half hour before Agatha was supposed to meet Rio for their walk, Rio burst into Agatha’s office with two mugs of hot cocoa and a plate of cookies. 

Agatha laughed as she watched Riop try to balance everything on her way over to Agatha’s desk. 

“Thought you might need a little pick me up,” Rio grinned, put down the goodies, and perched up on Agatha’s desk, swinging her legs back and forth. 

Agatha smiled, but then caught herself. “You know, I have a perfectly good sofa you could be sitting on right now?” 

“But then I’d be all the way across the room.” 

“And that would be an issue because?” Agatha raised an eyebrow. 

“You like having me close by,” Rio said lowly. Agatha felt a heat pool in her lower stomach. She got up from her desk chair quickly, grabbed a mug, and sat down on her sofa. 

Rio followed her. 

“Don’t you have actual work you should be doing?” Agatha asked and took a sip of the hot chocolate. It had a hint of spice and cinnamon in it. 

Rio shrugged. “Nothing productive ever happens between Thanksgiving and Christmas.” 

“What about finals?” Agatha countered. Rio’s nose scrunched up, and Agatha couldn’t help but notice how cute it was. 

“Besides,” Rio continued, “There’s supposed to be a snowstorm today. I heard that classes are going to be cancelled. I know we were supposed to walk, but I figured the weather might be too bad for that, so I wanted to say hi instead.” Rio admitted shyly. 

Agatha bit her lip to keep from smiling. “This is good,” She said, gesturing to the hot cocoa. 

“Mexican hot chocolate!” Rio grinned. “I was a little worried it might be too spicy for you.” 

Agatha laughed. “I can take a little heat.” 

Rio’s eyes narrowed, and a coy smile played at her lips. “Good to know.”

“Are you Mexican?” Agatha asked. “Where did you grow up?” Agatha realized that she didn’t know even half the things she wanted to know about Rio. What was her favorite food? Favorite color? 

“Why haven't you talked more about yourself?” Agatha accused. 

Rio laughed. “You sound angry.” 

“I am! You’re being mysterious.” 

“Not on purpose. There’s not much to talk about. I teach, I go home, I write, I read.” Rio listed. 

“I know all of that. But tell me about where you grew up? What were you like as a kid? What are your dreams?” Agatha implored. 

“I wanted to be Indian Jones.” 

Aghatha snorted. “That tracks.” 

“But my parents were very against shipping me off to go explore the jungle.” Rio laughs. “They did let me spend a few summers in Puerto Rico with my grandparents, and that was kind of the same thing.” Rio joked. 

“Tell me about your parents.” 

Rio immediately smiled, which was the literal opposite of what happened whenever anyone brought up Agatha’s mother. 

“They were the best. They both came to Harlem from Puerto Rico, but they met in the States.” 

“Did you grow up in New York City?” Agatha asked. 

“Born and raised!” Rio grinned. But I feel the most at home when I’m surrounded by woods. We would go camping in the Catskills once a year, and it was my happy place. That’s why I decided to go to Smith. So I could be surrounded by nothing but trees.” 

Agatha laughed at the dreamy expression on Rio’s face. “I hate camping.” 

“You’re doing it wrong, then. Have you gone as an adult?” 

Agatha snorted. “I’ve only ever gone as an adult. My mother would never waste a precious day off alone in the woods with me.” 

Rio frowned, and Agatha felt uncomfortable. “Ralph tried to get me to like it, but I never really understood the appeal.” 

Rio laughed. “I would also hate camping if I had to do it with Ralph.” 

Agatha smiled. “I think it was less about Ralph and more about being afraid of being eaten by a bear in my sleep.”

“I’d never let that happen to you.” Rio smiled.

“Somehow, I believe that.” 

Agatha noticed a strand of Rio’s hair had fallen loose from her ponytail. Her fingers twitched with the impulse to brush it out of Rio’s face. 

“What?” Rio asked, with a teasing smile. 

Agatha cleared her throat. “So, do you speak Spanish?” 

“Not natively. My parents were convinced that I wouldn’t be fluent in English if they spoke to me in Spanish. I took language classes in undergrad, and am almost fluent now, but my family back on the island all makes fun of me for my gringa accent. Hablas español? Creo que eras muy bonita”

Agatha loved the way the words took shape in Rio’s mouth. They sounded elegant and warm. She used her tongue to roll her ‘r’, and Agatha remembered how wonderful it was to have that tongue in her mouth. 

“My Latin is good enough that I can take an educated guess at what you said, but no, I don’t speak Spanish.” 

Rio grinned. “So what did I say?”

Agatha blushed. “You think I’m good?”

“I do. But that’s not what I said,” Rio smirked. 

“What did you say?” 

“Guess you’ll have to learn some Spanish.” Rio leaned over and whispered into the shell of Agatha’s ear. 

Agatha felt a wave of heat in her lower belly. She looked up into Rio’s eyes, and Rio blushed prettily, her pupils dilating. 

Agatha stared at Rio’s lips, pausing for half a breath, before leaning in and pressing her own to them. Agatha could feel Rio smile against her lips before kissing her back. Rio’s hands floated to Agatha’s waist, and Agatha felt herself getting wet. She opened her mouth, and Rio slipped her tongue in. Agatha hummed with pleasure and scooched into Rio’s lap. Rio’s hands found their way into Agatha’s hair, pulling at it lightly. 

Then, suddenly, Rio pulled away, panting. “We can’t do this here.” 

“Go lock the door, then,” Agatha murmured, reaching her hand to gently cup Rio’s breast. 

Rio laughed lightly. “Sweetheart, no. I can think of three people off the top of my head who have a key. Ralph, Dr. Hart, any custodian,” Rio listed. 

Agatha groaned. 

“Just because we can’t do this right now doesn't mean we can’t do it later,” Rio leveled. 

Agatha pouted. “Since when are you so rule-abiding?” 

Rio frowned. “Is it unattractive?” 

Agatha thought for a moment. “Unexpected, but maybe cute. In the right circumstances. 

Rio beamed. “Do you want a ride home, so you don’t have to take the bus in a snowstorm?”

“That would be great, actually.” 

“The last thing I had planned on campus was our walk, so I can leave whenever you want.” Rio offered. 

Agatha nodded, “Let's get going.”

Rio drove a powder blue Chevy Impala, and Agatha was unsurprised to find that it was immaculate inside. The drive to Agatha’s new place took about ten minutes, and the snow hadn’t even started yet. 

“Do you want to come in for a cup of tea?” Agatha offered as Rio pulled into her driveway. 

“I don’t drink tea, but I’d love to come up,” Rio smirked. 

“My, aren't you forward?” Agatha teased.

Rio reached over and placed her hand on the top of Agatha’s thigh. Agatha’s stomach flipped at her touch. “I can be a gentleman, but something tells me that’s not what you want.” Rio smiled slowly, and Agatha blushed. 

“Come on,” Agatha said, and hurried out of Rio’s car and up her stairs. 

As usual, Scratchy was meowing by the door when Agatha climbed up the stairs to her apartment. 

“He hears my footsteps and comes to the door. He loves to be the center of attention.” Agatha explained as she opened the door. 

Scratchy saw Rio, and his meowing stopped. He froze in place and narrowed his eyes at Rio. 

Agatha laughed lightly. “He’s not used to people who aren’t me.” 

Rio bent down slowly and extended her hand towards Scratchy. He sniffed it tentatively. 

“Rio’s nice, Scratch. We like Rio,” Agatha told the cat.

Rio looked up at Agatha, teasing. “So you like me?”

Agatha sighed, exasperated. “You are the most annoying person in the world.” She groaned. 

“An annoying person you like,” Rio sing-songed. 

Scratchy gently butted his head against Rio’s outstretched palm, and Rio scratched behind his ears. 

“Hi there, señor,” Rio said in a baby voice that was surprisingly not annoying. 

“He’s so little. How long have you had him?” Rio asked, she scooped Scratchy up and carried him over to the coach, and sat down with him. Agatha followed and sat next to Rio. 

“Do you know the dean’s wife, Wanda? She gave him to me about a week ago.”

“Wanda makes me nervous,” Rio admitted. 

A pang of jealousy flashed through Agatha, white hot. Did Rio have a crush on Wanda? 

“Why?” Agatha frowned. 

“She’s too chipper.”

Agatha felt the tension release from her shoulders. “Yeah,” She snorted. 

“I’m surprised you two get along, if I’m being honest.”

“She’s harmless and annoyingly… persistent about spending time with me.”

“Go figure,” Rio shook her head. 

“We used to be neighbours. One of her twins is actually kind of cute. They both insist on calling me Aunt Agatha” 

“One of her twins?” Rio asked curiously. “What's wrong with the other one?” 

“Tommy is only about half as smart as Billy, so he’s not as fun to spend time with.” 

“Vicious,” Rio smiled. 

“I’m just honest.” Agatha shrugged. 

So, I take it you don’t like kids?” 

“I wouldn’t go that far. I always thought I’d be a mother, but now I’m not so sure.” Agatha admitted. 

Rio hummed. “You could always adopt.”

Agatha scoffed. “Nobody actually wants to raise someone else’s child.” 

“I would do it.” 

“See, you say that. Everybody does, because that’s what you’re supposed to say. But when it comes down to it? If it’s not your kid, you resent having them around. You might care at first, but it never lasts long.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

Agatha laughed bitterly. “I never knew my father, but my mother always had boyfriends around. They never truly gave a shit about me. She even married one. He was good to me. He’d defend me when she’d go on a tirade, and he always made a fuss when she hit me, so she actually stopped while he was around. One day, he decided he couldn’t take it anymore. He left without a trace. If he really cared about me, he would have helped me get out of that house too.”

“I’m so sorry,” Rio said.

Agatha laughed, but it came out too harshly.

“But you did get out. You survived.” Rio insisted.

“You were right. When you asked if I married Ralph to get away from my mother. I did.” Agatha said quietly, not meeting Rio’s eyes. 

“You needed to get out,”  Rio said sternly. “You did the right thing.” 

“Even if it means I ruined his life?” 

“You didn’t ruin his life. He might think that now, but I’m sure he’ll sort himself out.” 

“He’s not a bad man,” Agatha added. 

“I never said he was.” 

“God, you probably think I’m a complete mess.” 

Rio smiled gently, “I’ve always loved to clean.”

Agatha punched her playfully in the arm. She was surprised to find that it was as solid as a rock. 

“How are you so muscular?” Agatha asked.

Rio cocked an eyebrow. “I lift weights.” 

“Like a man?”

“I like being strong.”

“How strong are you?” 

“I bet I could lift you pretty easily.” Rio grinned. 

“No way.” Agatha laughed. 

“Let me prove it!” Rio said, and stood from the couch, offering Agatha a hand to get up. 

“You’ll drop me!” Agatha squealed, batting away Rio’s hand. 

“I won't!” Rio laughed. “Let's make a bet.” If I  drop you, I’ll make you coffee every day next week. The way you actually take it—better than Ralph.” Rio smirked. 

“And if by some miracle you don’t?” 

“I get to stay for dinner tonight.” 

Agatha’s heart beat faster in her chest. “Okay.” 

Before Agatha knew it, Rio had crouched down and placed one arm underneath her knees and the other across her back. When Rio stood again, Agatha was securely in her arms, lifted off the floor in a fireman's hold. 

An involuntary laugh escaped from Agatha. “I bet you do this with all the girls.” 

Rio smiled down at her, “You have to be nice to me. I’m not afraid of dropping you.”

“You’d never,” Agatha called her bluff. 

Rio’s cheeks flushed. “I wouldn’t,” She admitted. 

Agatha looked into Rio’s honey colored eyes, and then down at her soft, plush lips. 

Rio laughed softly. “Agatha” 

Agatha faigned innocence. “What?” 

“Baby, you can’t look at me like that. Not unless you want me to carry you straight into the bedroom.”

Agatha smiled like the cat that got the cream. “What if that’s exactly what I want?”

Rio shook her head sternly. “It’s too soon. I want to do this right. I want you to know you actually want it.”

Agatha looked up at Rio incredulously. “You think you know what I want more than I know what I want?” 

Panic flashed across Rio’s face. “No. That’s not what I meant. I just-”

Agatha interrupted her. “I want you to take me to bed, Rio.” 

Rio paused, sticking her tongue in her cheek. Then, a slow, confident smile took over her face. 

“Okay, Agatha.” 

“It’s just down the hall,” Agatha urged, and Rio quickly carried her into the bedroom and deposited Agatha gently on her bed. Then, Rio shyly stood by the foot of the bed. 

“Darling,” Agatha smiled. “I want you to join me.” 

“I don’t want to wear my work clothes in your bed.” Rio stammered shyly. 

Agatha laughed lightly. “We’ll have to get you out of them then, won't we?” 

She sat up, and her hands flew to Rio’s blouse. She made quick work of unbuttoning it, and Rio slipped it off and shuffled out of her pants as well. 

Staring at Rio, in just her bra and underwear, made Agatha’s mouth go dry and her head go blank. Rio’s breasts were small and lovely, and her stomach had defined abs. Agatha suddenly felt slightly embarrassed about the inch or so of softness padding her belly, but Rio was already reaching for Agatha’s sweater, pulling it up until it was clean off her body. Rio climbed onto the bed and put her hands on Agatha’s waist before kissing her thoroughly. Agatha opened her mouth under Rio’s, and Rio deepened the kiss, her hands winding their way into Agatha’s hair. 

After a moment, Rio broke their kiss and stared at Agatha. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was mussed, and the look on her face could only be described as hungry. 

Agatha pouted, upset that Rio stopped their kissing. 

Rio smiled. “I need to taste you.” She hummed against Agatha’s neck, nipping at her collarbone. Agatha wondered if Rio could smell the arousal that was leaking into her panties. 

“Can I take this off?” Rio murmured, her hand reaching to unclasp Agatha’s bra. Agatha nodded. 

“Good girl,” Rio husked, and Agatha had to bite her tongue to keep from moaning. As soon as Rio had pulled off Agatha’s bra, her mouth was on her tit. Biting gently into it, flicking her tongue across Agatha’s nipple. Agatha felt her clit throb and tried to press her legs together, eager for friction. 

“Ah ah ah,” Rio chided, and cupped the soft meat of Agatha’s inner thigh with her hand. 

“Let me take care of you,” Rio smiled, and snuck her hand up between Agatha’s thighs. Agatha hissed as Rio cupped her fully over her panties. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Rio sighed, “You’re soaked”. 

Agatha wanted to say something biting in response, but all that came out was a pitiful whine. 

“Use your words, sweetheart. Tell me what you want.” 

Agatha shut her eyes and tried to ground herself. What did she want? 

“Will you touch me?” She asked in a small voice, suddenly shy. 

“Of course,” Rio responded with a smile, bending her head down to kiss the soft flesh of Agatha’s lower belly. Then, Rio dragged Agatha’s ruined panties off and gently spread Agatha’s lips. She placed a kiss on top of Agatha’s mons pubis as she gathered Agatha’s slick with a finger and broght it up to Agatha’s clit. She circled Agatha’s clit lightly, and Agatha felt her breath stutter. 

“Is this still okay?” Rio asked. 

“Yes” 

“Good,” Rio murmured and then replaced her finger with her tongue, gently flicking at Agatha’s clit. Agatha felt tension build from the bottom of her spine. 

“Please,” She gasped, unsure of what she was even asking for. She felt Rio pause, and then Rio looked up at her with a smile. 

“I’ve got you, baby.” Rio cood, and continued to give kitten licks to Agatha’s clit as she slipped a finger inside of Agatha. Agatha felt her walls clench around Rio’s finger immediately. She rolled her hips on it, and Rio curled it just so, pressing into her wall. 

“You’re perfect.” Rio moaned, and Agatha came at the praise. Her body was shaking intensely, and her eyes were nearly rolling back into her head. She flopped down onto the bed, completely boneless. 

“Was that alright? Do you want me to grab you a glass of water?” Rio asked, panting from exertion. 

“I want to taste you,” Agatha answered, with a mischievous smile. 

Rio looked at Agatha for a second, and Agatha scowled. 

“You don’t have to, I don't want you to feel obligated.” 

“Rio,” Agatha groaned. “I’ve been thinking about what this might be like on and off since I hit puberty. Please, don’t deny me my god given right as a dyke.” 

Rio blinked at Agatha owlishly, “What was that?” 

“I’m gay, Rio. Don’t play dumb.” Agatha frowned. 

Rio laughed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. We’ve just never talked about this before.” 

“Well, I thought it was self-evident.” 

“I’m just surprised to hear you say it out loud. I thought you were still questioning things, is all.”

Agatha rolled her eyes. 

Rio bit her lip, “I mean, if you hadn’t met me, you don’t think you’d still be with Ralph?”

Agatha thought for a moment. “I don’t know,” She said evenly. “Do you want to keep analyzing the collapse of my marriage, or can I make you come now?”

Rio nodded dumbly and spread her legs. “Good girl,” Agatha hummed, and lowered her head between Rio’s legs. 

The first thing Agatha noticed about Rio’s pussy was how soft it was. Warm, and wet and perfect. She wanted to touch it forever. Even Rio’s pubic hair was soft and downy. It was perfect. 

Agatha tentatively licked a stripe up Rio, and Rio fully shuddered. Agatha smiled against her cunt. This was true power. She pressed a soft kiss right above Rio’s clitoris. 

“Agatha,” Rio whined. 

“Yes?” She smiled innocently, but pressed the pad of her thumb against Rio’s tender bud of nerves. 

Rio inhaled sharply, “Please, baby.” 

Agatha saw Rio’s clit now swollen under its hood, and she got an idea. She gently put two of her fingers up against Rio’s mouth. Rio opened obediently and sucked on her fingers. Agatha smiled with delight. She then took her now wet fingers and slowly peeled the hood of Rio’s clitoris back, and put the sensitive nub between her fingers. She began to jerk it off, the same way she would give a hand job, but on a smaller scale. 

Rio’s breathing quickly became erratic, and her legs began to shake. She was coming, Agatha realized with surprise. She’d only been touching Rio for a few minutes. 

“Do you want a glass of water?” Agatha teased. 

Rio laughed lightly and pulled Agatha up so they were eye to eye on the bed. She reached out and brushed some hair out of Agatha’s face. “Thank you,” She told Agatha with a lazy smile. “You’re a natural.” 

Agatha smirked. “I’m good at most things, you know.” 

“So you keep telling me.” Rio. laughed.  What’s for dinner?” Rio asked with a grin. 

The answer was a hearty chicken noodle soup, with a slice of fresh bread that Agatha had made earlier that day. Rio sat at the kitchen table as Agatha reheated the soup on the stove. 

“Do you like to cook?” Rio asked. 

“Does it matter?” Agatha asked with a shrug. “I’d have to cook even if I hated it.” 

“But you don’t,” Rio said confidently.

Agatha laughed quietly under her breath, “No. I actually love it.” 

Rio nodded. “It smells too good to have been made by someone who doesn't like to cook.” 

Agatha smiled, “I’m glad. You must like dill and garlic.”

“Of course! Who doesn’t?”

“Ralph,” Agatha said simply. “I couldn’t use it in my cooking, so we just ate bland soup.” She shrugged. 

Rio scrunched up her face. “I don't understand that man.” 

The soup was steaming, so Agatha took it off the burner and placed it in two bowls. She put them on the table in front of Rio shyly. 

“Let me know if you need any salt or pepper,”  Agatha said. 

Rio ate a spoonful and gave out a moan that wasn’t too far away from the sound she had been making in the bedroom.”

“Agatha, it’s perfect.” She gushed. 

Agatha felt her cheeks grow warm.

They sat in comfortable silence and ate their soup. Once Agatha finished, she stood up and walked to the window. It was already dark out, so she had to squint to make out the snow situation, but once her eyes adjusted, she saw how bad it was.  Outside, big, wet snowflakes were falling quickly. 

“You can’t drive home in this weather,” Agatha told Rio with a frown. 

“I’m practically a New Englander at this point. I’m sure I can handle it.” 

“I am a New Englander, and I wouldn’t try,” Agatha said. “Stay the night. I have extra pajamas, and the bed is big enough for two.”

“I can sleep on the couch.” Rio offered. 

Agatha scoffed. “Darling, you’ve already been in my bed today. Don’t be silly.” 

Rio blushed and nodded. Agatha spent the rest of her evening reading, and Rio set up camp grading student essays at the kitchen table. The domesticity of it made Agatha feel nostalgic. She imagined what it would be like to spend every night with Rio like this. Maybe in a bigger house, maybe with some kids fast asleep upstairs. 

At first, the thought made Agatha smile, then she shook her head at the absurdness of it. Why dwell on the impossible?

Finally, after Rio’s fifth yawn over ten minutes, Agatha got up from the couch and walked over to the other woman. 

“Let's get you to bed, hm?” 

Rio yawned once more and looked at Asgatha sheepishly. “I think you might’ve worn me out earlier today. I’m not in my twenties anymore.” She admitted with a sardonic smile. 

Agatha chuckled. “Okay, grandma.” 

Rio was a sound sleeper and a clingy one. At first, when Rio swung a possessive arm around Agatha’s waist and pulled her in towards her, Agatha stiffened and resisted. Thinking of the hot, sweaty nights she spent pressed against Ralph in a twin bed in the early years of their relationship, wishing she could just sleep alone. But Rio wasn’t too warm; she was strangely comfortable. Agatha matched her breathing speed to Rio’s and fell into an easy, peaceful sleep. 

Chapter Text

Agatha saw Rio less than she would have liked over the next week. A nasty stomach flu kept her from coming to campus, and by the time she was feeling better, it was already Friday. So, as if it were any other Friday and Agatha hadn’t spent the past week throwing up as though her life depended on it, she went into work. Finals were quickly approaching, and her students were already nearly an entire unit behind due to her string of absences. 

As Agatha walked into the history building, she immediately saw Rio waiting by the elevator and felt a bit like a baby horse on new legs as she stared at the woman. Rio was hurriedly scribbling into a notebook as she waited for the elevator, and Agatha took the opportunity to watch Rio undisturbed. God, what a treat. Rio was wearing tan Cigarette pants with a thin belt and a pale green silk blouse. Her hair was shiny and pulled into a low ponytail, and little lines creased at her eyes as she squinted at the page. Agatha wondered what it would feel like to kiss the thin skin of Rio’s eyelids. 

After a slightly irresponsible amount of time admiring Rio, Agatha walked up to the elevator and cleared her throat, making her presence known. 

Rio’s face burst into a smile as she saw Agatha, “She lives!”

“Barely,” Agatha grumbled, and Rio looked her over with a concerned expression. 

“Hart said you caught the freshman flu?” Rio asked.

Agatha groaned. “I’m just glad you didn’t catch it from me.” 

“I don’t get sick,” Rio waved a hand dismissively. “You’re better, though? You still look a little pale.” Rio frowned. 

“Gee, thanks,” Agatha said, rolling her eyes. 

Rio laughed. “It suits you. Very Victorian chic, consumption was all the rage, you know.” She said with a shit-eating grin. 

Agatha glared at Rio, and Rio laughed.

“Don’t worry, I still think you're the prettiest woman in town. I missed you,” Rio whispered with a shy grin. 

Agatha felt her mouth go dry at Rio’s earnestness as they stepped into the elevator. 

When the elevator doors shut, Rio stood closer to Agatha. Far closer than any normal person would stand next to their colleague in an elevator. Rio let her hand brush against the back of Agatha’s hand, and when Agatha looked up at Rio, Rio pretended nothing had happened. Then, she did it again. 

“Is there something you want?” Agatha asked with a huff. 

“Yeah, actually,” Rio smirked, and before Agatha knew what was happening, Rio bent her head to Agatha’s and pressed their lips together. Agatha moaned into Rio’s mouth, pulling her by the waist so they were flush against one another. 

“Sweetheart, we can’t do this here,” Rio murmured into Agatha’s ear with a laugh. 

“Then why’d you start?” Agatha panted. 

“I was just going in for a quick peck.” Rio smiled and snuck her hand under Agatha’s blouse to cup her breast. “I forgot how irresistible you are.” Rio squeezed Agatha’s breast in her palm

Agatha laughed. “It’s only been five days.” 

Rio kissed the side of her neck. “Five whole days,” Rio whined, and flicked at Agatha’s nipple over the cotton of her bra. 

Then, the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Agatha jumped away from Rio and smoothed her skirt. 

“I’ll see you around, Dr. Vidal,” Agatha said, praying that the hiccup in her voice wasn’t audible. 

“I look forward to it, Agatha,” Rio responded and fucking winked before gliding out of the elevator. 

Agatha’s classes were fine. The kids had, by some miracle, kept up with their readings despite her absence, and it was as interesting as any intro to US History class could be. Agatha was sick of talking about men and their ideas, but hopefully next year she could convince the dean to let her put something interesting in the course catalogue. 

At the end of the day, when Agatha was starting to draft an essay about the possibility of hallucinogenic mold affecting the Salem Witch trials, three short knocks rapped against her office door. 

“Come in.’ She shouted, expecting some unprepared student to come in and beg for an extension on the paper that she assigned for Monday. 

Instead, Ralph opened the door and stood awkwardly at the edge of her office. 

“Hey Aggie,” He smiled nervously and rubbed his hands against the front of his pants. Agatha’s first impulse was to get up and make him a cup of tea, but instead she remained seated, eyeing him cautiously. 

“Can I close this?” He asked, gesturing to the door. 

Agatha bit her lip. She didn’t want to hear anything Ralph had to say that he couldn’t say with the door open. But, it wasn’t as though he would try to hurt her or force himself on her.  She nodded, and Ralph sighed in relief as he shut the door behind him. He walked over to her couch and sat down, spreading his legs in a way that took up the entire loveseat. 

“How’ve you been, honey?” Ralph asked.

“I’m fine,” Agatha said stiffly, unsure how to address Ralph’s use of the pet name. 

Ralph frowned. “I heard you were sick. That must’ve been tough by yourself.” 

Agatha almost laughed at that. Sure, when they were together, Ralph had been doting when she was sick, but before that, Agatha had an entire lifetime of taking care of herself. The only time Agatha had ever been to the doctor as a child was when she ran a fever for two weeks straight and her stepfather had convinced her mother that a trip to the hospital was less expensive than a funeral. 

“I was fine, Ralph. Why are you in my office?” Agatha asked. 

Ralph ran his hands through his hair and scooched over on the couch. “Why don't you sit a minute, Aggie?”

“I’d rather stand.” 

Ralph exhaled, “I think it’s time for you to come home.” He said lowly. “Your life is better when I’m there to take care of you, Aggie. We both know it.”

Agatha let out a startled laugh. “I’m doing perfectly fine on my own.” 

“You don’t miss me?” Ralph asked, confused. 

Agatha shrugged. 

Ralph frowned, stood, and took a step towards Agatha.“You’re lying to yourself.” 

“I think it’s time for you to leave,” Agatha said, gesturing to the door

Ralph raised his hand, and Agatha’s mouth dropped in shock. Ralph had never come so close to physical violence in the past. 

Agatha met his eyes with a dangerous smile. “You think you can slap some sense into me?” Agatha goaded. “Go ahead. I promise you that it won’t change my mind.” 

Ralph lowered his hand and looked ashamed. 

“Good choice. Now get the fuck out of my office.” Agatha snarled. 

Ralph didn't move. “Get out, right now!” Agatha screamed. 

“I’m your husband, damnit!” Ralph shouted. “I won’t leave until you admit that you still need me.”

Agatha took a breath and met Ralph’s eyes with her own. “If you won’t get out of here, then I will. And, I promise that I will never willingly come back to you.” Agatha told him in a low voice, and quickly packed her things and grabbed her jacket. 

As she was rushing out of her office, she walked straight into Rio, who had been hovering by the closed door. Ralph followed Agatha out of the office, shoulder-checking both Rio and Agatha on his way out. 

“Sorry. I heard yelling from down the hall, and I wanted to make sure everything was alright.” Rio explained breathlessly.

Agatha scowled, “You have a real gift for making me slam into you.” 

“Are you okay, though?” Rio asked, looking at Agatha anxiously. 

“You’re not made of steel, I think I’ll be fine. “ Agatha quipped.

“We both know that’s not what I meant.”

Agatha shut her eyes and sighed. “I’m fine. It’s Ralph you should be worried about. I’m not the one acting like a three-year-old who skipped naptime.” 

“You should know by now that I don’t give a flying fuck about what that man thinks, feels, or wants,” Rio swore. “You’re the one that matters. Are you okay?” Rio repeated.

Agatha felt herself melt slightly at that. “I’m alright.” She mumbled. 

Rio reached out and tucked a piece of Agatha’s hair behind her ear. “Good,” She nodded. 

Agatha felt her shoulders loosen at Rio’s touch. When Rio pulled her hand back, Agatha reached for it and caught it with her own. 

“Thanks for…y’know,” Agatha muttered, not looking at Rio’s eyes, but squeezing her hand lightly. 

“Always”

“I’ll see you later,” Agatha said, letting go of Rio’s hand and lifting on her toes to give Rio a small kiss on the cheek. “Have a good night.” 

Rio laughed, “I have to grade forty-five mediocre essays, but I’ll try my best.” 

“You want help?”

Rio blew a raspberry.  “I seriously need to grade them. I told the class that I’d have them back a week ago.”

Agatha laughed. “So, you need help. Let's set up shop in your office. I don’t want to go back into mine.” Agatha wrinkled her nose. 

Rio blinked, surprised. “You’re going to help me grade essays?” 

“That’s literally what I’ve been saying, yes.” 

Rio poked her tongue in her cheek. “I guess I thought ‘helping’ me was maybe just an excuse to spend some time together tonight?” 

Agatha lifted her eyebrows, “You’re awfully presumptuous, Professor Vidal. I have dinner plans this evening, you know.”

Rio blushed prettily. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.” 

Agatha laughed. “I’m having dinner with Wanda and her family tonight. Billy thinks I’ve been ignoring them, and specifically called to tell me so and invited me this morning.” Agatha grumbled, even though she was looking forward to spending time with the kid. “I’ll help you grade for the next hour, and then I’ll go.” 

Rio groaned. “I refuse to suffer through reading these essays without the help of wine. Come to my place after dinner, and we’ll get to work?”

Agatha smiled slowly, staring blatantly at Rio’s chest. 

“I really have to grade them, though.” Rio insisted. 

“I’ll see you tonight,”  Agatha smirked. 

…

Throughout dinner, Billy and Tommy driveled about their lives as first graders. Billy was already reading third-grade-level chapter books, and Tommy had eaten a bug at recess—Agatha could have guessed as much. Wanda kept looking over at Agatha with a strange expression, and Agatha genuinely couldn't be bothered to figure out what bee was up her bonnet. 

“Can I have ice cream now?” Billy asked her with a pout. Agatha sighed deeply. She hated that these kids thought of her as an authority figure. 

“I think you can eat ice cream whenever you want, buddy. Go for it.” Agatha shrugged, and Wanda groaned. 

“She's just kidding, honey. You have to eat your peas first.” Wanda glared at Agatha, “Right, Ags?” 

Agatha frowned, and Wanda kicked her shin under the table, causing Agatha to wince. 

“Right. I was just kidding. If you don’t eat your peas first, your body will reject the ice cream, and you might die.” Agatha told the boys with wide eyes. 

Wanda buried her face in her hands. “Why do I even try?” She muttered. 

Vision cleared his throat, and Agatha flinched. She had forgotten that he was also at the table. 

“Come on, boys, let’s get some ice cream and eat it out on the deck so your mother and Aunt Agatha can have some time to chat.” 

Agatha frowned, staring between Wanda and Vision. “That’s alright, I’ll join you for ice cream,” Agatha told the Maximoffs, and Wanda shut her eyes tightly and sighed. 

Vision shot Agatha a pleading look, and Agatha understood that if she didn’t give Wanda five minutes of her time, it would be his problem for the rest of the night. She rolled her eyes, but stayed seated. Wanda smiled victoriously. 

“What’s up?” Agatha asked, looking at Wanda sternly. 

Wanda raised her eyebrows. “You tell me. Vis said you were sick last week?” 

“Just a weird stomach thing. I’m fine now.” Agatha waved a hand dismissively. 

Wanda frowned slightly. “You’re sure that's all?” 

“I wasn’t throwing up because I was sad, if that’s what you’re asking, Wanda. I caught something from the students. Don’t be dramatic.”

Wanda’s face softened. “Honey, that’s not what I’m asking.” 

“I’m fine, okay?”

Wanda nodded. “You aren’t too lonely?” 

“Isn’t that what the cat is for?”

“You need people, Agatha.” 

“You’re not my only friend, I see people.” Agatha retorted.

Wanda laughed. “That’s the first time you’ve admitted we’re friends.”

“Like I was saying, you’re not special. I have other friends.” 

Wanda looked at Agatha skeptically, “name one”. 

“I’ve been getting to know Dr. Vidal.” Agatha said casually. 

Wanda perked up, “I’ve been trying to figure her out for months. Do you think she’d want to come over for tea? I’d love to get to know her better.”

The idea of Wanda and Rio sitting and drinking tea was so foreign to Agatha that she almost laughed. 

“She doesn’t like you.”

“Everybody likes me, I’m a delight.” Wanda insisted. 

“She thinks you're too perky, Red.” 

Wanda frowned. “What does that even mean?” 

“I want ice cream!” Agatha declared and got up from the table, letting Wanda stew in her perkiness. 

That night, instead of having Vision drop her off at the duplex, Agatha had him take her to the address Rio gave her. She had muttered a lie about wanting to borrow lesson plans from Vidal, and luckily, Vision didn’t ask any follow-up questions.  Rio’s house was a modest brick ranch with a sizable lawn and a garden that Agatha could tell was impressive even in the dark. Agatha rang the doorbell, and Rio answered, dressed in a pair of striped men’s pajamas. 

“I feel overdressed.” Agatha quipped. Then, she felt a small nuzzling against her leg. A small black cat was softly headbutting her.

“That’s Vic.” Rio smiled. She made a small clicking noise, and the cat stopped pressing itself into Agatha and sat obediently at Rio’s feet.

Agatha looked between Rio and the cat, shocked. “That’s a dog trapped in a cat’s body.” 

Rio laughed. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

“How in the hell did you get her to do that?” 

“ Tuna, patinece, and a special interest in ethology.” Rio grinned. 

“Try again, but use a word that people who aren’t freaks would know.”

“Ethology is animal behavioral science.” 

“So you like taming wild things?”

Rio shook her head with a small smile, “I just like understanding how they work. Sometimes I can teach them a few tricks as a result, but don’t worry. I won’t try anything like this on you.” Rio smirked, and Agatha felt herself blush. 

“Please, come in.” Rio smiled and closed the door behind Agatha. 

Agatha took in her surroundings. Rio’s home was tidy but lived-in and well-loved. Agatha was genuinely surprised; she expected mess and chaos. The walls were painted a very soft green, and the floor was a rich old hardwood. Maybe oak? Rio’s small entryway gave way to her living room. Big bookshelves covered an entire wall, and they were filled with books. Everything from the classic History canon to trashy-looking dime-store novels. An ornate Persian rug covered the floor, and a leather sofa sat on top of it, along with a worn-looking leather armchair. Rio had a fireplace that was lit and casting the room in a warm glow. There were also at least six large plants scattered throughout the room. 

“It’s nice in here,” Agatha told her, still looking around. 

Rio nodded and smiled wryly. “I like it. I have to admit, I finished my grading. Could I interest you in a nightcap?” 

“I feel like you lured me here under false pretenses.” 

“I don’t know how well that would hold up in court, sweetheart.” Rio’s eyes glinted. 

Agatha smiled. “I’ll have an Irish coffee.” 

“It won’t keep you up?” Rio asked, a concerned expression gracing her features. 

Agatha shook her head and followed Rio into the kitchen, sitting at the table. The faint smell of something sweet that Agatha noticed on entering the house grew stronger. 

“I’ve got some brownies baking. To celebrate being done with grading for the semester.” Rio explained as she went to turn on the coffee maker. 

“Oh?” Agatha lifted an eyebrow. 

Rio laughed, “Regular brownies, Agatha.”

“I was scandalized that you have no more grading left for the semester. You're underworking these kids. Why wouldn’t they be regular brownies?” 

Rio looked at Agatha, furrowing her brow. “I can’t tell if you’re messing with me, right now.”

Agatha blinked at Rio, confused. Then, it hit her. Rio thought that she thought they were special brownies. 

“I don’t do drugs.” Agatha frowned tartly. 

Rio chuckled. “You drink, though.” 

“Drinking isn’t criminal. Reefer is for delinquents.” Agatha crossed her arms. 

“What about the beat poets?” Rio asked, with a teasing lilt as she poured coffee into two mugs. 

“Like I said, delinquents.” 

Rio smirked. “Okay, McCarthy. Whatever you say.” 

“I’m not a prude,” Agatha said, snobbishly. 

Rio took out a bottle of whiskey from a high shelf and poured a bit into their coffee. “Never said you were. But, you might want to think about why you’re so afraid of things you haven’t tried.” Rio shrugged and passed Agatha her drink. 

Agatha scowled and took a sip. The coffee was strong and rich, and the whiskey was smooth. 

Rio took a sip as well, and Agatha watched as her tongue darted out to wipe away some coffee left on her upper lip. Agatha felt her cheeks warm and blamed it on the liquor.

“How were the Maximoffs?” Rio asked, sitting in the chair next to Agatha’s. Agatha looked over and saw that one of the buttons of Rio’s pajama shirt was hanging loosely on its thread. 

“They’re fine. Wanda wants to get to know you better. She asked if we could all do tea.” 

Rio’s face scrunched in disgust, and Agatha laughed. “I told her no,” Agatha assured Rio and giggled. Agatha’s own laugh caught her by surprise, and she realized that she was getting tipsy. 

“I can fix this, if you’d like,” Agatha said, grabbing the loose button on Rio’s shirt. “Do you have a sewing kit?” Agatha asked. 

“I know how to sew, don’t worry about it,”  Rio answered, staring at Agatha’s hand resting on her shirt. 

Agatha shrugged. “My mother was a seamstress. I grew up helping her, but if you insist.” 

Rio looked at Agtaha, surprised. “I didn’t know that.” 

“The less I talk about my mother, the better. I don’t particularly like sewing, but I’m quite good at it, and I enjoy using the skill to help out when I can. Get me a needle and thread.” Agatha ordered. 

Rio smirked, “Anyone ever tell you you’re kind of bossy?” She asked as she got up, crossed the kitchen, and took a small sewing box out of a drawer. 

Agatha rolled her eyes. “Just hand me your shirt.” 

“I don't have anything on underneath,” Rio warned.

Agatha laughed, slightly shocked. Not even a brassiere?” 

Rio shook her head. “I can go change into a different shirt, and then give you this one, if you’d like.” 

“No!” Agatha said, too quickly. She thought of the delicate dip of Rio’s clavicle. The soft curve of her breasts and her dusky nipples. Agatha wasn’t going to let an opportunity to see all of that pass her by. 

Rio began unbuttoning her shirt with a coy smile. She shrugged it off her shoulders and handed it to Agatha. Agatha felt desire twist low in her stomach at the sight of Rio’s bare chest. She wanted to reach out and cup her breasts, but instead she gritted her teeth and took the shirt into her lap. She worked on it quickly, focusing diligently on the button, but Rio was keen to distract her. 

Rio lifted her chest and set her shoulders back slightly, showcasing her breasts. Agatha felt heat spread between her legs as the other woman peacocked. 

“It’s getting a little warm in here, I think,” Rio smirked, got up, and opened her kitchen window. On her way back into her seat, Rio somehow managed to brush one of her breasts against Agatha’s cheek. Agatha nearly pierced herself with her needle as it happened. She looked up at Rio, ready to tell her off, but the other woman was smiling so impishly that it caught Agatha off guard. 

“You don’t have to look so smug,” Agatha said tartly. 

Rio laughed. “You really are a boobs man, Agatha.” 

Agatha felt herself flush at the description. “That’s reductive.” 

“But it’s true,” Rio sing-songed. 

“I like your ass just as much.” Agatha snapped as she pulled her thread through the button. “Scissors?” She asked, holding out her hand.

“We’ll get to that, don’t worry,” Rio said. 

Agatha looked at her, confused. Then she realized what Rio meant. “Oh my god.” She groaned. 

Rio laughed and handed her a pair of scissors, giving her a quick kiss on her temple. “That was crass, I’m sorry.” 

Agatha frowned. “Anyone ever tell you that you're kind of mean?” 

Rio laughed, unguarded. “Me? You’re calling me mean? Agatha, you’re the meanest person I’ve ever met. You glared at me every time you saw me for my entire first month at Westview.” 

Agatha had finished sewing and threw the shirt down onto the kitchen table. “You ever think there was maybe a reason for that?” 

Rio frowned. “I’m sorry, I know. It’s not fair that you didn’t get my position.” 

Agatha looked at the ground. “Not that. Another reason.”

Realization dawned on Rio’s face. “Oh.” She breathed. Rio softened visibly and knelt down beside Agatha, “Sweetheart.” Rio framed Agatha’s face with her hands. “I’m so sorry.” She said sincerely. 

Agatha sighed and leaned her head back. Her hands landed in Rio’s hair, and she gently raked her fingers through Rio’s scalp. After a minute, Rio looked up at Agatha, and Agatha saw that the other woman's pupils were blown wide. She looked hungry. 

Agatha smiled in surprise and took her hands out of Rio’s hair, and then helped the other woman off the floor, getting up herself in the process. Without saying anything, Agatha swung her arms around Rio’s waist and pulled her tightly against her. Then, she crashed her lips into Rio’s. Rio was tentative and soft at first, gently nibbling Agatha’s lips. Agatha opened her mouth and deepened the kiss, licking into Agatha’s mouth. Rio’s hand found its way to Agatha’s skirt and was deftly slipping underneath the waistband. Agatha felt Rio grab a handful of her ass and huffed in surprise. 

“Is this okay?” Rio asked, panting. 

Agatha nodded and brought her hand to Rio’s chest. She gently swiped the pad of her thumb across Rio’s hard nipple. 

“Fuck” Rio sighed. “Can you pinch it?”

Agatha nodded as she took the hard nub between two fingers and tugged gently. Rio inhaled sharply, and Agatha smirked as she rolled the nipple between her fingers. 

“Bedroom?” Agatha asked. She wanted to get her mouth on Rio’s breasts, and there was no feasible way to do that with them both standing. 

Rio chuckled, “Only took us what, twenty minutes?” 

“Shut up,” Agatha grumbled.

Rio led her to the bedroom and quickly began undressing Agatha. Agatha broke out in goosebumps when Rio ran her hands up her spine and unclasped her bra. Rio made quick work of divesting Agatha of her skirt. When Agatha was left in just her panties, stockings, and garter belt, Rio looked up at her with a grin. 

“You don't usually wear a garter,” Rio observed, running her hands over the smooth expanse of Agatha’s thighs. 

“It’s almost laundry day. I ran out of pantyhose.”

“I like this.” Rio ran her thumbs underneath the straps of the garter. “I like it a lot.” 

“Are you just going to keep staring, or are you going to do something?” Agatha asked. She was already dripping. Surely, Rio could smell her arousal. Hell, she could probably see it. Agatha could feel her wetness gathering in her silk panties, and she was certain a damp spot must be visible. 

Rio unclipped the garter and rolled down Agatha’s stocking. Kissing down her leg as she went. She threw the stocking to the floor and immediately gave the same treatment to Agatha’s other leg. Once they were both completely undressed, Rio scooted back onto the bed so she was level with Agatha. She leaned over and kissed Agatha softly as her hand found its way to Agatha’s damp curls. 

“Is this all for me?” Rio asked, voice full of wonder, as she slid a tentative finger through Agatha’s dripping folds. Agatha hissed as Rio quickly found her clit and began running a finger over it. Agatha felt herself thrust into Rio’s hand. 

“What do you want, sweetheart?” 

“I..I don’t know.” Agatha whimpered. “I want to feel you. Help me feel you.” Agatha panted, pressing herself into Rio’s hand. 

“You want me inside of you?” Rio asked. 

Agatha realized that was exactly what she wanted. “Yes.” She moaned. “Please, fill me.” 

Rio deftly sank two fingers into Agatha. There was no resistance and no pain. Agatha sighed with happiness.

“Thank you”, Agatha chanted as Rio found a steady rhythm, curling her fingers just so.

 Rio’s own arousal was leaking onto Agatha’s knee, and Agatha realized that Rio was rubbing her open cunt against Agatha in the same rhythm that she was fucking her. Rio pressed the heel of her hand into Agatha’s clit, and Agatha nearly saw stars. 

“Don’t come yet,” Rio begged, voice ragged. 

Agatha bit her lip and shut her eyes, trying to stave off her orgasm.

“Just one more sec-” Rio was interrupted by her own gasp. Agatha felt a new flush of wetness come out of Rio’s cunt. 

“Come with me,” Rio whined, and Agatha couldn’t help but tumble into her own orgasm. 

Afterwards, breathless and tired, lying in Rio’s arms, Agatha’s stomach curled with anxiety. “You’re not doing this with anyone else, right?” Agatha asked, looking at Rio suspiciously. 

Rio laughed and closed her arms around Agatha, holding her tightly. “You asking me to go steady, Harkness?” Rio teased and kissed the soft skin under Agatha’s jaw. 

“No.” Agatha breathed. “Yes.” Agatha frowned. “I don’t know.” 

Rio laughed and kissed Agatha’s hair. “Would you say yes if I asked you to be my girlfriend?” 

Agatha felt her heartbeat in her chest. “I guess.” She said breezily, “If it would make you happy.” 

Rio grinned from ear to ear. “That would make me very happy, sweetheart.”