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After his death, Adam drifted through between existence and nothingness, and saw what was to happen about his own legacy.
He saw Lute unravel, teetering on the edge of madness in his absence.
He saw Pentious—a Sinner, of all people—manage to claw his way toward redemption, slipping through the cracks of damnation that had swallowed so many others before him.
Then came the blame. It didn’t just trickle in; it crashed down like a tidal wave. The Exterminations, any mandate or decision about them were now solely his to bear.
Heaven whispered his name with disgust, painting him as the sole architect of the bloodshed.
Sera, ever the coward, put distance between herself and the weight of their shared past, her name slipping from the accusations as though she had merely been an unfortunate bystander, that he was the one influencing her.
Time folded in on itself before he could linger on the absurdity of it all.
One moment, he was floating in the aftermath; the next, he was standing in front of Charlie, back at the threshold of that fateful meeting.
She looked up at him, her expression steady, filled with a hopeful determination. “The Exterminations are cruel,” she said as if delivering some great revelation.
Adam blinked, barely registering the words. “Uh-huh.”
Charlie pressed on, gathering confidence. “There should be other ways to deal with overpopulation!”
He let out a noncommittal hum. “Probably.”
Encouraged by his lack of immediate pushback, she straightened her posture. “So I came up with an idea to make them unnecessary!”
Adam shrugged. “Deal.”
Charlie faltered mid-sentence. Her momentum ground to a halt, confusion flickering across her face. “I know I need to convinc—wait, what?”
“Yeah, deal,” he repeated, voice flat and devoid of any real interest. “The floor’s yours. I’m out.”
For a moment, she simply stared, struggling to process how effortlessly he had caved. Then, realization dawned, and her expression shifted to excitement. “That… THAT’S GREAT! Thank you so—”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he interrupted, already waving her off like an annoying insect. With a flick of divine will, a contract appeared in his hands. “Just sign this. It says, ‘I’m not to be fucking bothered for the next five hundred years, even in the event of an uprising against Heaven.’”
Charlie hesitated, enthusiasm dimming as she squinted at him. “That… seems kinda ominous.” Her voice held a hint of uncertainty now, but after a brief pause, she nodded. “Still, thank you, though, mister…?”
She trailed off as something clicked. Her brows furrowed.
“Wait… you’re Adam?”
He smirked, but there was no real amusement in it. “Apparently, my name ain’t worth shit, so let’s not waste breath on it.” Stretching with a lazy yawn, he turned on his heel. “Welp, there’s a beach waiting for me, a grill, and all the booze in Heaven, so… fuck you NEVER.”
And just like that, he was gone, leaving behind one very confused and slightly unsettled Charlie, and a very flabbergasted Lute who took longer to realize that Adam left a long time ago before opening a portal back to Heaven
Adam lay sprawled across a beach chair, the warmth of the sun soaking into his skin. A plate of perfectly smoked ribs rested on his stomach, his fingers occasionally drifting down to pluck a piece free. In his other hand, a cool drink sweated against his palm. The waves rolled in and out, their rhythm steady, and soothing.
“You know,” he mused, lifting his glass for a lazy sip, “it’s the simple things in life that make it all worth living.”
The moment of peace didn’t last.
“Adam!”
Ah. Speaking of simple.
He recognized that voice. Even before he opened his eyes, he could already picture the stormy expression, the impatient stance, the righteous fury barely restrained beneath a thin veneer of control.
He barely tilted his head as Seraphiel manifested before him, wings flared, posture rigid. Her presence cast long shadows across the sand, but Adam didn’t so much as blink.
“Heya, Ser—”
“Adam! I demand you return to your duties this instant!”
He smirked, setting his drink down on the arm of the chair. “Seraphimwithnobackbonesayswhat.”
“What?”
His smirk widened. He let the silence stretch just a little too long before chuckling to himself. “I said, you didn’t even want the Exterminations, right? After all, I was the one who proposed them. So all the blame falls on me. Your hands are clean. Mine are the ones soaked in blood for the last ten millennia.” He stretched lazily, bones popping. “So, I simply decided to stop. It’s all my fault, isn’t it?”
Sera’s wings twitched, her patience wearing dangerously thin. “Adam, I swear to Father, this will have repercussions.”
He arched an eyebrow, feigning curiosity. “What repercussions could there possibly be? I’m pretty sure that Charlie girl has it all under control with her—what was it?—‘Hagging Hotel’ or whatever.”
Sera’s eye twitched. “It’s not under control! Yes, a few sinners have ascended—four, to be exact—but millions more keep falling into Hell! It’s so overcrowded that sixty percent of the population has resorted to cannibalism! Overlords are more powerful than ever! They’ve had to install crushing machines just to make living space! And to top it all off, the Exorcists refuse to act without your leadership! We cannot replace you!”
Adam whistled, tapping his chin as if in deep thought. “Hmmm, yeah, that does sound troubling.” He paused for effect, then snapped his fingers. “Wait! I have an idea.”
A small portal flickered open beside him. He reached in, rummaged around, then swiftly pulled his hand out—middle finger extended high.
“Look! Still in perfect condition.”
Sera’s jaw clenched. The flickering edges of her composure finally gave way. In an instant, her form shifted, gleaming, burning wings unfurling, eyes glowing and shaking while her form became avian in nature, massive, as if she wanted to pressure him, her presence becoming something vast and terrible, radiant enough to strike fear into even the most hardened souls.
“Adam ,” she warned, voice layered with divine authority, “ if you do not correct your behavior and return to your duties immediately, I will propose your expulsion from Heaven!”
It was a bluff. Maybe she thought he’d take it seriously. Maybe she even hoped he would.
He had to know it was a bluff… right?
Something hit her face. Hard.
She recoiled, more out of shock than pain, then looked down.
At her feet lay Adam’s halo.
She barely had time to process it before he spoke again.
“If you’re going to throw me out, go ahead.” His voice was empty now, devoid of mockery, of amusement—of anything at all. “I probably deserve it. After all, every bad thing comes from me, right?”
Lilith stood motionless on the sand, staring at him. The ocean stretched in front of him, dark and endless, waves rolling in and out in a slow, indifferent rhythm.
The air carried the scent of salt and grilled food, mingling with the faint trace of something burnt—something old, something forgotten.
“So… this is it?”
Adam barely glanced at her, too focused on the slow, lazy process of picking meat from between his teeth with a toothpick. His halo lay discarded in the sand where Sera had left it, untouched, as if it were nothing more than trash. His wings—once brilliant—were gone, tucked away somewhere unseen.
"Yup."
Lilith’s hands clenched at her sides. “You can’t just… just quit!” Her voice trembled, not with anger, but with something deeper, something that sat at the base of her ribs and twisted. “You’ve been doing this for millennia. There has to be some kind of secret plan, some ridiculous scheme you're keeping under wraps.”
Adam let out a short chuckle. “It’s funny, really. You all think I’m both a complete dumbass and somehow smart enough to plan ahead.” He waved the toothpick at her lazily before flicking it aside. “Tell you what, though—when you were sent to Hell, how did you feel?”
Lilith blinked. “…What?”
Adam leaned back, resting his head on his hand. “You got cast down. Hell didn’t even exist yet, not until you and the apple thing. That was your punishment, wasn’t it?”
Her lips pressed into a thin line. “Yes. You… the angels. Not a single one of you cared about me. I was just a failure, a mistake that was cast aside.”
Adam nodded slowly. “And yet, you became a queen . The man you cheated on me with? Named himself king . You lived in opulence.” He gestured vaguely at her. “Some punishment that was.” He snorted. “Meanwhile, I lost my home. Lost any sense of comfort. Even looking at Eve hurt .” His voice didn’t waver, didn’t break. “So I toiled. And I toiled. And I kept going until the day I physically couldn’t anymore.”
Lilith scoffed. “So that’s it? Are you just bitter ? You still made it into Heaven. You ! The one who always had to control everything I did!” Her voice rose with each word, frustration spilling over like floodwater. “You—you started the Exterminations! You wiped out my people! You became just as twisted in Heaven as you were in life!”
Adam didn’t react. Didn’t even look at her.
“Then you tried to attack Heaven.”
Lilith fell silent.
Adam’s gaze remained on the horizon, golden eyes half-lidded, unreadable.
“Then the Exterminations happened.”
The waves filled the space between them.
“Would you believe,” he murmured, “Sera actually looked appalled when I suggested it?” A ghost of a smirk touched his lips, devoid of humor. “She asked me —the one who brought those little fuckers into existence—and then she had the nerve to look at me like I was disgusting because I proposed a plan . But she still accepted it, because no one else had a better idea.”
Lilith’s fists tightened. “…That’s—you—Heaven keeps us all in Hell. It’s not like Heaven! We had limited resources and limited space! We were going to—”
“I didn’t enjoy it, you know.”
Adam turned to her then, finally meeting her gaze.
Golden met violet.
His expression was unreadable. Empty. Not even sorrow, not even resentment. Just… hollow.
“Not at first,” he continued. “Of course, I didn’t pity them. I knew exactly what kind of fucked-up, deviant things got those shitstains sent to Hell in the first place. But at the start, it was just… order. Putting unruly brats in their place.” He tilted his head slightly, contemplative. “A parent punishing their spoiled children. The only difference between them killing each other and me doing it was that when I did it, it lasted. It had consequences.”
Lilith let out a sharp breath. “So what, now you’re trying to paint yourself as some kind of tragic hero?” Her voice wavered between rage and something else—something dangerously close to uncertainty. “ You’re not. Don’t try to fool me. I was the first to see exactly how rotten you were from the start.”
Adam inhaled sharply, nodding to himself. “Ah, yeah. Since the start. That makes sense.” He exhaled slowly, running his tongue over his teeth as if rolling the thought around in his mouth. “I was spoiled from the beginning, huh? That explains a lot.”
Lilith frowned. “…What are you talking about?”
Adam let the silence stretch between them before finally speaking again.
“Eight thousand, six hundred and forty years.” He tapped his fingers against his knee. “That’s how long the Exterminations lasted. For that amount of time, I killed my descendants. Your people.” He chuckled, the sound dry and distant. “I was the villain, right? The big, bad monster of Heaven. The one who relished in slaughtering the tainted, the sinners.”
Lilith’s nails dug into her palms. “Don’t—don’t you dare try to blame us for what Heaven did.”
“I’m not.” His voice was eerily calm. “Your people had a choice. Not sinning. They didn’t take it. Isn’t that what you always preached? Free will?” He tilted his head slightly. “You gave the apple to my wife. My real wife.”
Lilith flinched in pain.
It was small, barely noticeable—but it was there.
Adam either didn’t notice or didn’t care.
“You created Hell,” he continued. “You took my home from me. Took any chance of peace. And yet…” He exhaled slowly, almost amused. “It was still my choice to take the burden. My choice to bear it, to clean creation of their filth.” He glanced back at the ocean. “And, well… enjoying it later on? That was my choice too.”
Lilith stared at him, searching for something—anger, guilt, hatred—anything.
She found nothing.
“…So this is it,” she whispered. “You’re just done?”
Adam shrugged. “Apparently, all I’ve ever been is an ass. Might as well stop now, right?” He let out a dry laugh. “In your eyes, I’m still that dumb brat in Eden, aren’t I? The one too stupid to understand why you didn’t want me.” His voice softened just a fraction. “But even I can reflect, Lilith.”
Her throat felt dry. “…Adam, I—”
He didn’t speak with sadness. Didn’t lash out with venom.
He just spoke. Plainly.
“I do have a question, though.”
Lilith felt her breath hitch.
He turned back to her, eyes calm. Too calm.
“I’ve wanted to ask this for a long time,” he said, voice even, almost casual. “But I always expected the same answers— ‘You didn’t deserve it,’ or, ‘Why would we ever do that for you?’” He chuckled under his breath. “Still, I want to ask it anyway.”
Lilith had never felt small before. Not in all the millennia she had existed, not in Eden. But now, standing before Adam—before the first man—she realized she did not have an answer.
She never had an answer.
And that made her feel very much small.
Adam’s golden eyes locked onto hers.
“You thought the fruit empowered you,” he said. “That it freed you. That it was a gift of free will.”
He paused.
Lilith wanted to scream, to beg him not to say it.
His voice was quiet.
"Why did you never offer it to me?"
"Wait! Wait, wait, wait!"
Emily’s voice rang through the council chamber, her wings flaring slightly as she stepped forward. The desperation in her tone made even the golden walls of Heaven seem smaller as if the weight of this moment was pressing down on everyone present. She turned, eyes darting to the gathered angels, searching for any sign of reason among them.
"This is a mistake! We can’t just—just throw Adam out of Heaven because he saw the error of his ways!"
Sera stood at the center of it all, wings half-furled in tension. The usual commanding presence she carried was dulled as if her actions were weighing her down. She let out a slow breath. "It… it wasn’t my choice alone, Emily."
The chamber was full—Powers, Dominions, Thrones and Heaven-born alike—, all gathered to witness the judgment.
Not long ago, they had condemned the Exterminations upon learning the truth, turning their judgment upon Sera, Adam, and the Exorcists. And yet, now that Hell teetered on the brink of war, now that their choices had led to consequences clawing toward Heaven’s gates, they were desperate for stability.
Carmine Carmille’s name had become a rallying cry in Hell. The death of an Exorcist had forced her into the role of a warlord, one who had seized every trace of angelic steel left behind and reforged it into weapons sharp enough to carve through Heaven’s finest. She was arming sinners even if it meant against her will, and the council needed someone to blame.
Some called the Exorcists reckless for leaving their weapons behind. Others turned their fury on Adam, claiming that his time in Hell had allowed this to happen. Regardless, one solution had formed. The return of the Exterminations. The cleansing of sinners before they could strike first. But they needed a scapegoat. A sacrifice to restore order.
Adam would be exiled to hell, forever banned from Heaven, and cast out to the realm that was a danger to them.
Some believed the sinners would tear him apart the moment he fell. Others weren’t so sure. Adam had been the first man, the first exile, the first executioner. If he went to Hell, would he be hunted? Or would he simply start culling again?
That last thing was what many hoped.
But Adam himself didn’t seem to care.
Slouched in his chair at the center of the podium, legs kicked up lazily, he let out a slow breath through pursed lips, completely unimpressed with the proceedings. He didn’t plead. He didn’t argue. He didn’t even acknowledge the weight of what was happening.
Sera swallowed. "Adam HaRishon … First Son of the Earth… the first man."
Adam cracked an eye open at her. "Kinda late to start sucking up to me now. Just say it."
She inhaled sharply. "By the authority conferred to me as High Seraphim… you are condemned. For keeping the truth of the Exterminations hidden for millennia. For slaughtering souls that could have been guided to salvation. Sons and daughters, just as you once were." Her hands clenched. "For reveling in their massacre, making it joy rather than duty. You are banished. You will be cast into the abyss, sent to the place where you should have been sent from the beginning."
It was a carefully constructed speech, by others, not by her.
One designed to provoke him, to strip him of dignity, to push him into anger so they could send him to Hell as a weapon rather than a martyr.
But Adam didn’t react.
He reached up, grasped one of the horns of his mask, and pulled.
The mask came away easily, hitting the floor with a dull, final thud . His expression remained unchanged as he stood, brushing dust from his robes as if this was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.
"Should I clip my wings myself, or are you going to rip them off for me?" His tone was flat, not sarcastic, not bitter. Just empty.
No one answered.
"Thought so," he muttered. "Doesn’t matter. You’re right. I don’t deserve Heaven."
Sera felt something twist inside her. His voice carried no resentment, no anger. He wasn’t lashing out. He wasn’t trying to plead for his place in paradise. He was simply… done.
"You want me to take the blame? Fine. I’ll take it. It was my fault. Lilith. Eve. The apple. Everything that followed. All of it was because of me." He let out a breath. "I will never set foot in the Kingdom of Light again."
Sera’s nails dug into her palms.
Then, he said something that made the chamber fall utterly silent.
"I was Heaven’s first mistake, wasn’t I?"
The weight of those words sent a shiver through the gathered angels. Emily inhaled sharply, her wings trembling at her sides.
Adam exhaled, a slow, drawn-out sound, something hollow and tired. "Well… guess I better get off to the place where all mistakes end up."
And with that, he turned. He didn’t wait for the final judgment to be spoken. He didn’t look back. He simply pulled his robes tighter around himself, tucked his hands into the folds, and walked away.
Adam remembered what he had seen after his death. Sera hadn’t even cared, nor had Emily. They had been too focused on the Sinner—the Redeemed—to give his demise a second thought.
At least now, he supposed, he had the proof he needed. They never truly cared about him.
Sera, one of the first angels he had met and befriended, had always been strict, but he had expected something—anything. A frown, a moment of sadness, some acknowledgment of his death. Yet there had been nothing.
Emily, whom he had watched grow from childhood over centuries and then millennia, had been just as indifferent. Neither of them had cared that he had been killed and left to rot, his body consumed by cannibals.
It was fair, he thought. He had gone to Hell for his duty, but he had also gone looking for a problem. Lucifer’s child may have stabbed him first, but she had only been fighting back.
A ragged breath escaped him as he looked down. There she was. Lute. He remembered the near madness in her eyes, the desperation as she had all but begged Heaven—begged anyone—to understand. He had seen it in the way her expression had softened, fear and doubt creeping into her face as if pleading with him without words.
He really didn’t deserve her.
For the first time in a long while, Adam did something he had only ever done for his wife and children. He knelt, lowering himself to meet her face-to-face. “Hey… Lute.”
Her voice was barely a whisper. “…Sir…”
“Just…” He inhaled slowly, steadying himself. Of all people, she was the one who caused his heartache. “…Just call me Adam, please.” He didn’t want his only memory of her calling his name to be the desperate scream he had heard before his death.
Her lips trembled slightly before she spoke. “Adam.”
Hearing her voice so ragged, so unsure, only made him feel worse. “Why… What happened?” she asked, her confusion laid bare. “I don’t understand why you agreed to… to all of this. The Hellborn, her ideas, just—just why? Why let it all happen?”
She sounded doubtful, scared, and confused. It had been years since he had done anything, years of inaction that had left him condemned to his own form of sloth. He lifted his gaze slightly, his eyes landing on the others in the room. Luawa, Kimkth, Hashir—every single one of them stood there, watching him with the same doubt, the same quiet hope for an answer. There were so many of them, a huddled mass of exorcists, most long since stripped of their uniforms. And yet, he recognized every single face.
Adam exhaled and finally spoke. “I… realized… that I was wrong.”
A sharp voice cut through the air. “But you always said angels don’t make mistakes!”
“I’m not an angel.” His voice was quiet but firm, the truth of it weighing on him. “I am a man. A very… very flawed man.” The words left his mouth in a whisper, the smallest hint of defeat creeping into them. “I founded the Exorcists. I started it all. And now, I am about to finish it.”
A collective outcry erupted from the room, the exorcists surging forward, their disbelief echoing through the castle halls.
“What!?”
“I hereby denounce our actions,” Adam continued, ignoring the protests. “Killing sinners meant killing Hell’s population, and even the most debased, the most putrid, can ascend under the right guidance… I suppose.” The weight of it settled in his chest as he saw their reactions—each face a reminder of the countless corpses that had fallen in battle. The bodies of those who had followed him, only to be desecrated beyond recognition. The sheer horror of it made bile rise in his throat.
“We were wrong to impose ourselves in Hell.”
Lute took a step forward, desperation creeping into her voice. “Don’t say that… please, Adam! You fought to defend Heaven! The only reason Exterminations exist is because they attacked first! The more souls they had, the stronger they became! You weren’t—”
“There is nothing special about me.” Adam cut her off, his voice softer now. He shrugged slightly. “Nothing that made me worthy of making that call. And to you—the ones who followed me, even when I didn’t deserve you—I need you to know this.”
His voice no longer sounded hollow. It was filled with something heavier, something that settled deep in his chest—regret.
For the others—for Sera, for Emily, for every angel who had barely blinked at his death—he felt nothing.
But for the exorcists? His girls? The ones he had trained. The ones who had fought for him, died for him, and been desecrated because of him.
He had never given them the appreciation they deserved. He had been blind to the weight of their sacrifices, so focused on his own failures that he had failed to see theirs.
He had barely reacted when Vaggie had her wings torn from her back when her eye had been ripped away. He hadn’t cared enough. He didn’t deserve to feel sorry for himself.
All he could do now was tell them the truth.
“Do not expect guidance, or answers. I have none. I never did. Carry my words to those who aren’t here. Drop your weapons. Rip off your masks, and stand down. The war against Hell is over. The Exorcists are over. Free yourself from the shackles of a flawed man like me… and live freely, as you should have.”
Adam pushed himself to his feet, the movement slow and heavy. He wanted to walk away from Lute, but the sight of her crying again hurt far more than Lucifer’s fists or the stabs he had taken. Those had been bearable. But her tears? Her tears weren’t meant for someone like him.
A grip tightened around his arm, stopping him in his tracks. He exhaled sharply and looked down to see Lute’s hands clinging to him.
“No…” she whispered.
“Lute,” he murmured, his voice gentle. “Where I’m going, I deserve to rot. You don’t. You don’t have to pay for my mistakes.”
“With all due respect, sir,” Kamil stepped forward, her voice steady, “Heaven doesn’t think much better of us. We’re just as stained with blood as you.”
“Yeah!” Rachel’s voice rang out next. “Wherever you go, we go! We’ve been following you this whole time—this is just more permanent!”
“What she said!” another exorcist chimed in.
“Once an Exorcist, always an Exorcist!”
“We didn’t follow you because we thought you were perfect. We followed you because we wanted to!”
Adam clenched his teeth, his throat burning with the weight of emotions he had tried so hard to suppress.
Then, without another word, Lute hugged him.
One by one, the others followed.
Their collective weight nearly sent him to the ground, but he didn’t push them away.
Sera—an angel he had silently sought validation from since the moment he was born—had never made his heart clench.
Lilith—the first woman he had loved—had never made his eyes burn.
But Lute’s tears, the arms wrapped around him now, the sheer weight of their presence…
For the first time in centuries, Adam felt something catch in his throat.
And as he tried to hug them back, he finally understood what it meant to be forgiven.
The air of Hell was hot, thick with the stench of sulfur and something even worse—something rotting, festering, something that clung to the inside of his nostrils no matter how much he tried to ignore it.
He had never wanted to be here, not in person, and that smell alone had been enough of a reason to stay away.
Sometimes, the place smelled like actual shit, and no matter how much power he had wielded before, no matter how many divine forces he once commanded, there was no getting rid of that.
Now, though, he was a Fallen. Like Lucifer of all people.
The irony wasn't lost on him as he walked the fiery lands of Hell with an army of women at his back, many of whom carried creatures on their shoulders that looked like demonic hogs. He nearly smiled as they distanced themselves as far as possible from any city in the Pride Ring, especially from Pentagram City.
Then, they started to build.
It had been a long, long time since he had to build a house from the ground up. He could have simply willed one into existence with what remained of his angelic powers, but the girls had insisted on doing it by hand. Rejecting Heaven fully. He thought it was funny in one way, and ironic in another. Maybe it would even help him get back in shape.
That didn’t mean they abandoned everything, though. They had their phones. They weren’t planning to live like cavemen—he knew damn well how that was—, just away from the rest of Hell.
Still, there was work to do—cutting down trees for lumber, clearing the land, building homes. Now and then, he had to knock out some perverted lunatic screaming naked in the woods. Eventually, they had enough houses, crude but standing, to shelter them all.
Resting on the ground that night, the exorcists were scattered around him, asleep. Lute, of course, was the exception. She was lying directly on top of him, as if afraid he'd disappear. Adam, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on him, let out a tired sigh. “I should probably try to get furniture from the other Rings,” he muttered.
Lute stirred slightly. “I thought we couldn't leave the Pride Ring.”
Adam gave her a cheeky smile. “Fallen angel. Different from a Sinner.”
She hesitated, then spoke in a softer tone. “Sir…”
“Adam,” he corrected her.
She looked at him then, eyes searching his face as though trying to read something there. “You still haven't told me what made you accept the hellspawn’s offer in the first place.”
“Would you believe me if I told you I finally understood that it wasn’t worth it anymore?” he asked, his voice quiet, weary. “And that I realized you would've sacrificed more for me than I deserved?”
“Adam, I—” Lute started, but he didn’t let her finish.
Carefully, he slipped out from under her, making sure not to wake the others, and walked toward the door. “You all are the only ones who gave a damn about me. It was time I paid you back,” he said, offering her a small, almost foreign smile before stepping outside.
The cabin still needed work. Right now, it was barely more than a shack. The acid rain would be a problem if they didn’t reinforce it properly, but that wasn’t why he stepped out.
He wasn't done talking to the people who still had something to say to him.
Adam inhaled slowly, his expression softening—almost meekly—when he heard footsteps approaching through the trees. He supposed it was either a coincidence or she had sought him out, maybe to make him pay for what he had done.
Then, he saw her.
Blonde hair, long like Lilith’s but less wild. Red eyes were once they had been blue. White skin that had once been sun-kissed, was now a marble-like pale. She wore a dress—he had never seen her in one before, not in life at least.
Adam inhaled again, slowly, deliberately. “Hello, Eve.”
Her response was cold, almost disdainful. “Adam…”
He expected as much. Dusting off his pants, he exhaled. “Just give me a sec…” Then, without another word, he lowered himself onto his knees before her.
Eve’s eyes widened. “What… What is this? What are you expecting me to do with this? You—YOU of all people—begging to ME?” she asked, voice sharp with disbelief and barely contained rage.
“Nah,” Adam said, shrugging. “You wanted to hit me, right? I’m just making it easier.”
“What?” Her face wrinkled in confusion.
Adam let out an exasperated sound, placing his hands on his knees. “Hey, Eve. Would you care if I died?”
Silence.
She didn’t answer. She didn’t even move. Her expression was unreadable, but that was all the answer Adam needed. “Thought so.”
Pushing himself to his feet, he walked toward a roughly made table and picked up what looked like a barrel full of beer. “Some schmuck tried to attack us on the road here. We shanked this off him. Tasted like horse piss, so I and the girls threw it out and made something actually good.” He chuckled, pouring her a drink. “Remember the first time we figured out apples and grapes could be turned into alcohol?”
Eve sat down across from him, silent.
“What are you playing at, Adam?” she asked finally.
“Hm? Ah, nah. No games. I’m quitting the game.” He shrugged. “Kind of anticlimactic, but it beats getting stabbed thirty-six times.”
She stared at him, barely touching her drink. “So that's all there is? You think just because you stopped, it forgives the thousands of years you've spent hunting our descendants for sport?” Her voice rose slightly, a thread of fury woven through it.
Adam leaned forward slightly, his expression unreadable.
Eve had seen Adam in every emotion imaginable. She had seen him confused and doubtful when they first met. She had seen him warm, worried, playful, loving. She had seen him betrayed, pained, disdainful, and cold. But the look he gave her now was none of those.
He just looked at her.
“Go ahead,” he said quietly. “Punch me. Slash me. Whatever you wanted to do—”
He didn’t get to finish.
Her nails slashed across his face, a brutal strike from chin to forehead, deep enough to draw golden blood. His head snapped to the side, but he didn’t react otherwise.
“For millennia, I watched you culling our children—our children’s children—and you DARE to ask me if I’d feel bad for your death!?” she screamed, eyes burning with rage. “No! I wouldn’t! I would spit on your grave if given the chance! I know your fucked-up ego always blamed me for everything after Eden! I knew it, and I accepted it! But you had no reason to lash out and punish our children instead! You fucking bastard! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!”
Her fist crashed into his face. He didn’t flinch.
She punched him again. Then again. Then again. She clawed, hit, screamed, every strike carrying the weight of centuries of grief, of betrayal, of anguish. Words spilled from her lips, things no wife, no mother should ever say to the father of her children. She didn’t stop. Not until her breath came in ragged, uneven gasps, and she realized her hands were shaking, dripping with golden blood.
Adam looked up at her. His face, bruised and bleeding, held none of the emotions she expected—no hatred, no pain, no defiance, no plea for forgiveness.
He just accepted it.
And for the first time, Eve didn’t know what to do.
“What are you waiting for?” Adam asked, his voice oddly calm. “Just keep going. I deserve it, don’t I?”
Her mouth opened, but no words came. “…I… Adam…” She felt them die on her tongue. “You… you were the first one to change,” she muttered. “You were the first one to turn cold and distant and hurtful with me.”
Adam tilted his head slightly, then exhaled through his nose. “I saw you in Lucifer and Lilith’s arms. I wasn’t exactly going to take it well at the time,” he said plainly. “And then I had to live with the same woman who betrayed me for the rest of my life. As punishment. Because I was such a bad husband that it happened twice, and with the same angel no less.”
“…That’s not… you know that I…”
Adam didn’t respond. He just looked to the side, his gaze distant, avoiding her.
In the far distance, the lights of the cities flared up in the night, a stark contrast to the dark, barren land surrounding them. “It’s alright,” he muttered. “I deserved it.”
Adam sat up straighter. Eve almost lost her balance from where she knelt, thrown off by the sudden movement, but she hardly noticed. The way he looked down, the quiet resignation in his expression—something about it made her stomach twist.
“…I shouldn’t have been born,” he said.
Eve’s breath caught in her throat.
A bitter, ugly part of her wanted to say yes. To agree.
Everything else inside her felt like it had been struck by a battering ram.
“You and Lilith chose him over me. You got stuck with me, so no wonder you hated me just because of that,” Adam shrugged. “It was stupid of me to believe we ever had anything. That you loved me. That you loved our children… nah. In your eyes, I probably shouldn’t even call them mine, huh? Just like Cain.”
“That’s… you… that’s not fair…” she whispered, each word a dagger to her heart. Her eyes burned, ragged, and hurt. “You know damn well that’s not fair!”
“You’re right,” Adam admitted, his voice flat. “He deserved a father. And all I could give him was… was me…”
Eve clenched her fists. She expected the man who never forgave her greatest sins. She expected a man who was decisive, merciless, and unrelenting.
She did not expect this.
She did not expect him to just… accept it. To accept the pain, the guilt, like he was some broken doll made only to endure suffering.
“It was my fault that Abel died,” Adam muttered.
Eve felt like she had been punched in the gut.
“It was my fault that everything… this… place, even came to be…” Adam stood up, staring out at the Pride Ring. His gaze followed the curve of the landscape as if searching for something, something that might make sense of it all. “Yeah. Seeing it like this… if I wasn’t born, none of this would’ve happened.”
“You… you cannot…” Eve gritted her teeth, barely able to form words. “You’re not going to win me over with whatever suicidal bullshit you just came up with!”
Adam barely reacted. He simply cleaned his ear with his pinky, uninterested, as if her words were nothing more than background noise.
“Maybe you would’ve had someone better,” he mused. “Or Lilith would have. Maybe then you wouldn’t have felt like you had to eat the apple. Maybe then, humanity would have remained in Eden…”
Adam sat back down on the ground, his expression unreadable. His eyes, however, looked far away, like they were searching for something that no longer existed.
“I miss Eden,” he murmured. “So, so much. Playing with every creature, all those beautiful plants, all that delicious fruit. Every angel looking at me without frowning the instant they saw me… I… I guess I never deserved those things either.”
His gaze swept over the desolate land, nothing but jagged rock and lifeless ground stretching as far as the eye could see. “This is more like what I deserve, I suppose. But you didn’t. You and Lilith… probably even Lucifer… I guess the one to blame for all of this was me.”
A pain Eve didn’t understand—one buried so deep she had never truly acknowledged it—lodged itself in her heart.
She had told herself these things before. That Adam should be the one suffering. That he should be the one in Hell, not them. That Heaven had been right to cast him down.
But now, hearing those words from his mouth—hearing him believe them—it shamed her.
“…For whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Adam said.
Eve sucked in a sharp breath, a gasp escaping her lips before she could stop it.
“This… this changes nothing!” she snapped, grasping for something, anything to hold onto. “You… you have… to our children! To MY children! You—!” But whatever fire she tried to muster had long since burned out.
“I know,” Adam said. “I was wrong. The universe apparently wanted me to see that everyone but me already knew that. Nothing I can do will ever make up for what I did… You were a way better mother than I could ever have been a father.”
That was a lie.
They both knew it.
She had been as blind to motherhood as he had been to fatherhood. She had cursed their own children just as much as he had. Had she hated Adam so deeply that she ended up mistreating their children, too?
How could she look him in the face and pretend she had ever truly cared?
But the worst part wasn’t that he lied.
The worst part was that he believed it.
That he agreed with her, that he thought every single word that came out of his mouth was the truth.
That he just sat there and accepted it—accepted being beneath her, finally brought down to her level.
She felt no satisfaction from it.
“This is not fair!” she growled, and only then did she realize she was crying. “You’re not supposed to be like this! You’re not supposed to… to act like you deserve this!”
She wanted him to fight. To scream. To tell her she was the one to blame, that she had doomed humanity, that every single hardship on Earth had been because of her.
Because if he did that, she could hold onto her anger.
Because if he did that, she wouldn’t have to face the guilt.
But she had no anger anymore.
Every drop of it was gone.
Adam simply took a slow breath. “I am sorry for being alive, Eve,” he said, his voice quiet. “I am sorry for ever, ever existing. You, Lilith, Cain, Abel, Seth, everyone… you all deserved better.”
For the first time in thousands of years, Eve didn’t want Adam to say those words.
“You… You cannot just… just say all of this!” she said, her voice thick with desperation. “Hate me! Insult me! Demean me! ANYTHING!” She screamed, her frustration spilling over, her tears falling freely now. “Then what do I have, huh!? Hating you has been the only reason I remained in this hole for eternity! If you just take it… then I… then I…”
She had nothing.
For ten thousand years, he had been her only constant. Her hatred for him had been her purpose.
And now…
Now he had taken that away from her, too.
“…For the others, it was mostly just to… y’know. Take their shit on the chin and whatnot,” Adam said, his tone almost casual. “But you? You, I actually have to apologize to. Just like the girls, you made me happy. Even if… you weren’t happy at any point with me.”
Eve’s mouth opened. But not a sound came out.
Those words, the way he said them as if their eight hundred years together had meant nothing to him but regret…
They hurt.
More than anything else, they hurt.
She came expecting a spoiled, self-righteous man—someone who would scream, rage, and demand the throne of heaven as if it were his birthright. She did not expect her heart to break for him.
“If you wanted to kill me, this is your shot,” Adam said, his voice void of resistance. “If you don’t… Well, I’m going back inside.” He turned away without ceremony. “I am… sorry, Eve. For everything. But don’t worry—I’ll stay here. You won’t have to see me ever again.”
The words had barely left his lips before he heard a ragged breath, and then—something clutched his arm. Eve was on the ground, on her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Desperation carved deep lines into her face as she clung to him, her fingers digging into his skin as if letting go would mean losing him forever.
“Please! Please don’t go! Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go, don’t go!” she begged, her voice breaking apart with each plea. She pressed her forehead against his arm, trembling. “Please… pleeeease… don’t… don’t leave me alone again, Adam. I don’t—I don’t want to be alone. I don’t have anything else but this… Please, don’t go away. Please.”
If he had been the man he once was, he might have gloated. He might have laughed in her face, or—if his heart had still held warmth—he might have knelt down, cradled her, begged for forgiveness, and tried to repair the ruin they had left in each other. But Adam was no longer that man. All that remained was cold acceptance. Even for her.
“If you want to stay… we can make room,” he murmured. “It would be kinda like when we left Eden.” There was no derision in his voice. No warmth, either.
Eve felt as though she had been thrown a lifeline. “Thank… thank you… it’s… more than I deserve,” she whispered, voice shaking. She tightened her grip on his arm, holding onto it as if he were the last thing keeping her from falling into the abyss.
“I…” Her voice was so small, so broken, that anyone else would have pulled her into an embrace without hesitation. “I know I ruined everything, Adam. I know that. But… Do you think that—maybe—we could fix things? Go back to what we were, once?”
Adam opened his mouth. The answer came instantly.
“No.”
Eve’s heart shattered—not once, but twice. Once for the answer. And once for the fact that he truly believed the words that came next.
“You deserve better.”
It reminded him a little of his mortal life—working alongside Eve. And working with their children too. Though they weren’t exactly his daughters, being with the Exorcists seemed to remind Eve of something distant, something buried deep in the past.
They all knew the story of Adam and Eve, though they had never seen her in Heaven, nor had Adam ever spoken of her. Whatever had brought them back together, it was enough for the Exorcists to accept his judgment.
Well, more or less.
Lute had given him an earful after seeing his face all messed up. The care and tenderness in her touch only made it more obvious—Eve’s eyes held a kind of brokenness that Adam couldn’t ignore.
He would be lying if he said he wasn’t living almost on autopilot. He kept going mostly for his girls. Even as a Fallen, it would have taken some effort to actually end things. But some part of him—some lingering defiance against the universe—kept him from thinking about that. He wanted to keep moving forward. If not for himself, then for the Exorcists. For them, he was willing to keep going, even if all he had left to give was a hollow shell of the man he once was.
Then, one day, about seven months after Eve had joined them, they followed.
“Oh, thank goodness you’re here!”
Adam blinked at the sight of Charlie, followed closely by Vaggie and—he clicked his tongue—Lucifer.
Irritation built up instantly, memories of taunts, insults, punches, and gloating flashing through his mind. And just as quickly as it came, it was gone.
“I cannot believe this, you really—”
“Dad, please! Just… just let me talk. Please.”
Charlie cut off her father, and for the first time, Adam truly noticed how exhausted she looked. Her clothes were wrinkled, her hair disheveled, her face pale, well more pale than before, and worn. Even Vaggie and Lucifer had clearly seen better days.
“Hey, Mister—uhh, Adam—sir…”
“Just Adam,” he told her, feeling a hand rest against his arm.
“Well, you know, we only met once, and you were really nice to agree to help me, but… it, um… it didn’t go as well as I planned, and I—”
Adam raised a hand to stop her. “Can your girlfriend come talk with me and Lute for a second?”
Charlie blinked, caught off guard. “Uhh… Vaggie? I don’t… see why, but… if she’s okay with it, then—”
“What!? I…!”
The one-eyed woman hesitated, but Adam was already waiting.
“...Sure…I'm going” Vaggie let out every word with great effort, walking with heavy steps while Adam and Lute walked some distance away from everyone.
“...I know it is you, if you're going to ask that” Adam told her, this time not without sarcasm, but an uncomfortable feeling in his voice.
“So what? Are you going to threaten me? Reveal the truth to Charlie? Is this what you're doing here? Just…just playing some sort of sordid game because you knew who she was!? You– you!–”
“I am sorry for hurting you and leaving you, Vaggie”
The white haired woman opened her mouth and any word that could have come out died the instant Adam words touched her ears.
“You…you what?”
Adam let out a sigh, before giving Lute a nudge with the elbow.
“Do I really have to?” Lute asked with resignation in her face.
“Lut…” Adam scolded her lightly.
The former lieutenant of the Exorcists let out a growl before passing a hand over her face. “I am…sorry”
“You're sorry… for plucking my eye! For cutting my wings! Do you… you really expect me to just…just accept your apology after you maimed me!? What kinda fucked up idea you have of me to just accept something like that!?”
“You… You didn't deserve it” Lute accepted, with resignation in her voice. “Regardless of what the Sinner actually was, some pedophile or child killer, you didn't want to kill him because…well, you feel remorse just for him looking like a child. I… shouldn't have punished you so much for just…showing mercy, even if the one that received said mercy did not deserve it”
“What? What are you talking about? That was a child!”
“... ‘Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.’... you… probably wouldn't know it but… children aren't particularly sent here with all the… souls that didn't go to heaven at first” Lute explained with a shrug. “Some fucker who probably was eating children for the cannibal eyes he had, probably. But… it looked like a kid to you nonetheless. Punishing you like that was far too harsh on my side”
“...”
Vaggie opened her mouth again, and she blinked, then she put a hand to her mouth. “Oh my God… that… that doesn't change what you did!”
“No, it doesn't. I should've explained it to you, I should've admonished you, I should've had more patience but… I didn't, I acted guided by my disgust for this… people that I did not care about your reasons” Lute explained, she did not sound as hollow or resigned as Adam, she did sound… meditative, as if she was cooling after living with a lot of anger and disdain. “I am sorry for what I did to you”
“And I should've stopped her. I should've asked what happened when I saw Lute with your halo and her sword full of angelic blood. I did not, I let you there to die… the blame falls on to me, I was the one responsible for you and I…’’
“Don't you even start!” She screamed so hard, even with a good distance from everyone, they all heard her voice raised high and full of rage. “You don't… don't try to act like you care about me! You! The same fucker who did not bat an eye for hundreds of years of sending us to kill here as a fucking sport! You may have fooled everyone else with this bullshit but I know who you are, because I was part of your fucked up groupie of slaves that obeyed your every command!”
Vaggie ragged breath came after growling and letting out her frustrations, after Lute just dismayed every form of aggression towards her, it was like she aimed to the only one who she knew was ever so prideful, so full of himself, to ever admit of his wrongdoings.
“I trusted you!”
She screamed again, and Vaggie did not know why the tears were falling from her face, warm and almost acid
“You were a hero for every single one of us! I followed your orders and tainted my hands with the blood of the people from hell because you were the one telling us they deserve it! And I was just part of the stupid bitches that were dumb enough to trust a word of your mouth!”
Lute reaction was her hand slowly going into a fist.
She almost got on guard until Adam just raised an arm, stopping her.
Just at the same moment, Vaggie punched Adam in the stomach, it didn't even move him, and her knuckles felt like they cracked but she couldn't care.
She punched again, golden blood coming out her skin.
“And you didn't even care” she told him, almost choking, crying. “You did not even look back twice… So what? I was just not worth the effort? A single error and you just… discarded me? After all that? You… you never cared about us…about me…”
She looked down.
Adam remembered the smile she had on her face while he had a knife through the chest.
He remembered himself calling her worthless and her just looking at him with pure hatred and anger.
But this time she saw what was below the hatred and the anger.
The pain, the sadness, the hopelessness, the betrayal.
He saw her crying because of him.
Adam let out a sigh.
“I…actually did not expect to come to this but… I probably deserve it anyway”
“What?” Vaggie looked up.
The next second, her face was covered with golden blood.
“ADAM!” Lute screamed alongside him, and he could hear the screams and the gasps of surprise and horror.
Adam fingers were caved in almost completely on his eye socket.
Blood came out of his fingers, his eyeball being crushed by them, his teeth clenched like they were made of iron, a silent scream locked up in his mouth.
Five seconds later, his right eye came out of his socket, nerve tearing while he felt his shoulders drop.
A long, painful sigh came out of Adam's mouth, his eyeball in hand, nearly crushed.
“ ‘And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and cast it from you'... I really should've… taught you a bit more of stuff like that” Adam muttered with a laugh, humorless. “If you want to rip my other eye, if you want to cut my arms or legs, go ahead… you…you deserve to get your justice for what I did…”
He touched Vaggie's hand, he felt her shake and look at him with horror, the hollow socket looking at her just the same as she did.
She looked down and saw the eyeball in her hand, the golden iris on it looking directly at her before Vaggie took two steps backwards and her knees failed her, a ragged breath and a choking sob was all the sound she made.
“Adam! What did you do!? God! There is so much blood!” Lute ripped her sleeve and instantly went to clean his face, and then to use it around his face to try to make the blood stop.
“I told…told Vaggie already…” he said, almost dizzy from the pain. “I was the one responsible for all of you, what happened… falls unto me… if she wanted more than this then she can do it herself”
He did not want Lute to look at him like that, all worried and fearful.
It reminded him too much of the last moment he saw her while alive.
Lute helped him walk towards a table, the Exorcists already were around him, worried, scolding him, scared. Why, even Eve went almost instantly running towards him, even if Lucifer was trying to talk to her.
He let out a sigh when the pain was down enough for him to talk.
“I thought the contract was for five hundred years,” he told Charlie.
The blonde daughter of Lucifer had her hands on her mouth, gasping in horror after what she saw. “I…We… We need your help”
“That doesn't answer what I said before,” Adam muttered. “Just…talk”
“I… Well, I was right! At first… we… managed to get people to heaven! It was… a surprise for everyone, me included, it just… it really was not on the best circumstances”
Adam remembered that Pentious ended up in heaven just after he blasted him with holy light.
“Right, let me guess, one of you got killed by angelic steel?”
“Ye-yeaahhhh…” Charlie answered weakly, her shoulders dropped. “Pentious was one of our new residents, he was one of the best people I knew and… I… really did not do much in… terms of helping him, most of the work was…done by himself” she let out a sigh. “He… got killed trying to save us from a gang trying to raid the hotel with angelic weapons”
“And then he ended up in heaven” Adam finished for her. “He wasn't the last person who got redeemed though”
“N…No, when… When word got out, we actually got some support from heaven. Saying that the Exterminations were already agreed to stop, so, they wanted to see if we could redeem people enough to…lower hell's population to manageable levels”
“It took you five years to ascend five people,” Adam muttered. “And hell population raises by hundreds of thousands each day”
“F…Four, actually” Charlie admitted with a hint of defeat. “I…I tried everything,” Charlie felt her shoulders drop. “I tried to make more hotels, contract more people, we even got some angels to try to help us but then they just left after just a year living with sinners that wanted an out from Hell” Charlie sounded resigned.
Adam noticed the rings around her eyes, the dry tears, her exasperation.
It was the look of someone who had her dreams broken under the pressure of a cold, unforgiving world.
She, looking back, was the reason for his death. But at the same time, he just goaded her, over and over and over again.
He knew what she wanted to ask of him long before she was there.
“Can't you… you know, just… just reinstitute the Exterminations again? Is just so cramped and horrible and people's lives are getting so much worse and I…!” Charlie's shoulders dropped. “My dream became a reality but I couldn't change a thing! I just… I just wanted to make things better but it is just getting worse and worse and I… I shouldn't have accepted in the first place I just… I just didn't wanted to see then suffer, but now they only thing they're doing is just suffer”
“Why don't they just kill each other with angelic steel?” Asked Adam, like he didn't care about Charlie showing her vulnerability.
“The Overlords are the ones controlling who has it and who doesn't” Charlie explained with a ragged breath. “And they don't want the souls under their control to be killed if they can help it, they just… do all manners of horrible stuff to make up space for living but even they can't just fix it”
Adam listened to her, and then he shook his head. “I'm not”
“But…But you have been doing this for so long! Why stop now!? Just because I asked!? That…that can't be it! Mom's book always talked about how you were the one who wanted to dominate and control others! You wouldn't just accept orders from others!”
“Well, I did… and it brought me nothing” Adam told her with a shrug. “I have stained my hands for far too long, for… apparently no reason” the first man scratched his cheek. “It may take you time, hell may be filled to the brim, but… you got people out of this hellhole. Even if it's from today to eternity, you could empty this place” Adam told her.
“But I…! This is not what I wanted! Is not just…!”
“Char-Char, just… just let me intervene, we have some history together” Adam let out a growl at hearing Lucifer's voice, and seeing him push Charlie to the side to put himself in front of him. “Hey, Buddy! Long time no see! Man you… you have gotten bigger since Eden, huh? Letting yourself go a little?”
“...”
Adam gaze softened.
No.
It was easier to say that whatever anger was in him before, just got extinguished like a candle to the wind.
His shoulders dropped before he said the name he cursed for millennia without a single hint of hatred.
“Lucifer,” Adam said.
He sounded almost defeated.
“Woah, haha, this is… new! I admit, it is kinda nice not hearing you call me all grumpy and all and uh… ahh… what do you want?”
“Excuse me?” Adam raised an eyebrow.
“Oh come on man! I have known you since Eden! Literally was there to see you raised from dust” Adam just blinked at Lucifer words, actually not getting what he meant. “You're not like this”
“Ah…” Adam tongue clicked. “Figures, you and Lilith think the same… nah, forget it, you're right”
“Huh?” Lucifer's face wrinkled at hearing his wife's name out of Adam's mouth. “What do you mean “you're right”? That's not…”
Adam simply took a sharp inhalation before putting his hands on the table. “I already talked about it with Eve here but… you're not to blame for what happened in Eden”
“I… you….huuuuh!?” The blonde angel raised himself from the chair while shock painted his face. “What the… no, no, no, this isn't you… this is some kind of fuck up mind game you're doing? You wouldn't do this type of shit even if your life was on the line”
“...”
Adam just took Lucifer words at face value, he looked down, his hands slightly painted gold. Then he dropped his face. “ I am to blame for everything that happened on Eden”
Lucifer almost reeled from Adam's words.
A disdain aimed within, all too familiar, was reflected from Adam to him.
“If I was a better husband to Lilith…If I was a better husband to Eve…if I was a better father, if I just… if I just…” Adam raised a hand like he wanted to grasp something behind him. “Lilith told me the same, that this isn't like me, not the me from Eden… I… guess you're both right, that just means that from the moment I was made I was just… made wrong”
“Well, you're… you're being kinda harsh on yourself now, don't you think?” Lucifer tried to loosen up his collar. “I didn't mean… not FROM the start…I mean, even you had your moments when you were just… there in the garden”
“And yet, the moment stuff happened it was my actions that caused all of this” Adam scratched his neck, looking like he was saying some truth that hurted him.
“...” Lucifer opened his mouth, then he bit his tongue. “Look, man. I was just trying to gift future humanity free will, you're not to blame for what happened after, that's on them! Isn't that what you always said?”
“I messed up by forcing you all into eating the apple,” Adam admitted.
Lucifer felt he was getting pressured by every single one of Adam's words.
He was accepting the blame, no matter how little or how big, he just accepted it.
He wouldn't do the same, he wanted to blame humans for having the free will to become monsters, that they were the ones doing that, and that he only wanted to give them the potential of something more.
Adam accepting the faults made him feel… shameful.
It would've been easy to tell him yes, that he was the one to blame, not him, that he only did what he did for the sake of others.
And it shamed him that a part of him wanted to do that, that maybe he did it in secret, deeply.
But looking at him he saw a man that didn't even regret things, he just saw the things that happened as his fault and accepted them.
Trying to blame someone who was already so down just to clean his hands made him feel… ugly, a sensation of bile building up on his stomach.
“If I knew what I would've caused, I should've fleed the garden, and jumped from some mountain…. Maybe if I killed myself as soon as I could all of this would've been different”
“Adam… you, come on, you cannot actually believe this, can you? This isn't… you were just born, you didn't have all the blame…” Lucifer couldn't believe that his voice felt that weak.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like the sense of shame that came from looking at Adam.
But the first man was not done.
“I always blamed you for all of this, you and Lilith and Eve… I always thought that apple was the reason for all the suffering I had to go through, all the hunting the animals that I loved, all the hurting, and the sickness and the betrayal and burying my own children, that the apple was the reason there was something bad with them… but I now realize I was wrong. It was not the apple…”
Lucifer couldn't recognize the same man that he came to despise and disdain as what was in front of him.
“...It was me” Adam passed his tongue through his teeth, as if tasting the bitter taste of the truth. “There was just… something wrong with me, something that never got fixed” the first man clicked his tongue. “And I was the one that passed it to my descendants, I was the one that should've been punished instead”
Adam raised himself and with only one eye left, he saw the distant heaven in the sky, its light almost seemed gray for him now.
“I should've been the one sent here, not Eve, not Lilith… not you” Adam inhaled and let out a sigh. “I am…sorry it took me this long to say it… to admit it. It took a lot for me to get it”
“is… I'm not… this is not why I came here…” Adam gaze, hollow, just accepting his circumstances as if they were nothing, drilled into Lucifer and made him feel pitiful and disgusting and…
And he saw nothing in Adam's eye, no hatred, no pain, nothing.
He was just another thing for Adam's long list of pains, of acceptance.
He just had let go of any regret he remained with, and just accepted the things that came from his mouth into his heart.
For the first time in an eternity, Lucifer felt shame and regret.
“Couldn't you… you know… come back to the Exterminations? Is… is really bad already and… I guess I should've gone to our meetings and stuff… I…I…” Lucifer let out a chuckle, nervousness covering his whole body, he covered his eyes with his hand.
He couldn't look Adam at the eye
“Between the two of us… you are more deserving of the title angel than me, you are the one that should make the calls of how that goes down” Adam told him before shrugging. “I'm done, I give up. I… the only thing that keeps me going is to cling to the happiness my girls give me… they're way more than I deserve…” the first man scratched his neck. “That and… well, I did want to know one more thing but… I doubt the one that would answer me would hear me, I have since long been undeserving of His light… so, I'm just holding into that one”
Adam let out his words before feeling Lute hand upon his shoulder, and then he felt one of the Exorcists hug him from behind, then another from his other arm.
Ah, he really didn't want to see them all cry…
“...What…”
Lucifer felt a lump on his throat while his voice came out.
He shook to his core just at seeing the man broken and remade in front of him.
He just… stopped caring about his whole situation, whatever it was, he just… let go of the past and… and he accepted what happened, as if it wasn't an injustice, as if he was deserving of his penance.
He couldn't accept that.
He just couldn't.
If Adam, ADAM of all people, could do it, then what did that mean for him?
That he could not stop feeling so resentful and broken because that would mean accepting his faults?
That he was deserving of all this, and that the only way to stop feeling like the worst shit in existence was… was to accept that it was true?
“What do you want to know?”
He did not ask who he wanted to ask.
He knew.
They both knew.
“...I wanted to ask Him why, that's about it”
Why, really…
Why did he go to waste from the start?
Why did he never have a chance of being better?
Why was he accepted in heaven when it was obvious that he was undeserving of it?
Why make him ruin everything he touched?
Adam wanted to know, but at the same time, he knew that he did not deserve those answers.
“...I do not… want to… you know… start to just kill people because it's convenient” the blonde angel muttered.
Adam let out a chuckle. “You know, I saw it before as… me cleaning up your mess” he said before simply letting out a shrug. “Now I see it was my mess, so… our roles are reversed now, aren't they?”
“...” Lucifer looked at the man and he looked at him back.
The smile on Adam's face did not reach his eyes.
“I hope you have good luck man, go to your kingdom, to your house” he said, not a single drop of sarcasm or taunt. “I just can't do it anymore”
“You just…can't…” Lucifer said. “What just… what happened to you?”
“I already told you, I gave up” Adam told him before raising from his seat and scratching his hair a little. “Everything I ever touched got ruined, so, I guess it is better this way. I now only have people with me, people that… frankly I don't deserve, but they're with me nonetheless… I did not deserve living in Eden, I did not deserve living in Heaven…” Adam let out a long sigh. “I guess, all the suffering in life, being in here, this is more what I should've been since the start”
“No… No! This… this isn't right! You cannot just… just give up! You keep up this for millennia! For way after Hell became a danger! By nothing except because heaven didn't want us to rebel ever again!” Adam heard Lucifer accusations, and his lips pursed in a particularly doubtful expression.
“Man, when you say it like that, really makes me understand how much of an ass I was….” Adam told him before letting out a sigh, ragged and slow. “Well, I decided to be a better man than I ever was in life or… in afterlife and just… give up, I'll stop”
“You… this… I…” Lucifer couldn't find the words.
No, the better way to say it.
The words didn't want to come out.
The pride stopped them.
‘I was wrong’
‘You were not at fault’
‘I am sorry’
None of those were words that he could say, words that he wanted to say. They were… things that Adam probably deserved to hear.
“I'm tired,” Adam said. “Tired of hatred, tired of disdain. I just…” he let out a sigh, then he gulped and let the words come out of his mouth. “... Whatever happens next, you all can be happy isn't going to have anything to do with me anymore”
“But you…” Lucifer raised both hands, appealed. “You had a purpose in heaven, you were happy with it, you kept doing it for so long for that reason alone”
“Sure, I was happy… in part” Adam admitted. “But another part of me was hollow of anything that happened, when I started to think about it, all the miracles and commodities of the heavens seemed… rather dull for me” he admitted, scratching his cheek. “I noticed with time that… I am not like you. Opulence, luxury…that things did not make me happy, it just made me complacent. But this… this? It has” Adam smiled before finally walking away. “I hope something can make you happy someday, your dreams, your ambitions, whatever it is, it remains without me”
Lucifer scratched the table with his claws while looking at Adam walk away.
He felt in his stomach a repulsive sensation.
For thousands of years he festered on his own misery, forever tainting his relationships, with his wife, with his “subjects”, with his daughter.
Yet in front of him was one man, a human, THE human. Brought down lower even than him, for whatever reason renouncing the heavens themselves without a hint of disdain.
And yet.
Yet in his hollowness there was tranquility, there was acceptance, there was the hope of others clinging into him even more, as if to drag him out of his own hole.
Seeing Lute hug Adam and the way he answered with a smile and a hug made the blood on his body boil.
He didn't know for how long it had been that Adam was like that, but he knew that it was relatively recent, his actions suddenly changing but what made the anger and disdain boil in him was…
Adam was able to do that.
But in ten thousand years, he wasn't.
He couldn't have let the pass just… go through him, he couldn't just accept that it wasn't some injustice that would've been fixed later, he couldn't just take it down like he actually deserved what happened to him.
Because doing so, would mean festering even worse on his own failures.
He couldn't.
He just couldn't accept it.
Looking at Adam, he noticed that for the first time in forever, the first man did what he couldn't.
And that burned him more than his fall ever did.
[...]
They left after a while, well, Lucifer did. He never came back either. Charlie and Vaggie did, surpassingly more the later than the princess herself.
Adam didn't have much else to say to them, he didn't know if Charlie came back to either try to convince him, but Vaggie came back mostly to talk, he did expected her to bring her spear to cut him.
She didn't, it was like she simply tried to understand what would've caused the once proud and shameless man she knew to become… like that.
But, at the end of it all, Adam was left with no one to talk to. More specifically, he was left with no one to apologize.
Or well, no one that could answer.
His apologies did not end.
So, he went away one day, to the tallest mountain in all of pride, somewhere so high that no one in hell would ever reach unless they invented rockets by themselves and crashed them on the mountain.
There was a tomb there.
Adam left a sigh at seeing it.
It had no name, it had no stone, barely distinguished from a couple of centimeters above the rest of ground, if he didn't dig it himself, he wouldn't have known.
Adam let out a ragged breath.
“Hey, Cain,” he muttered to no one.
There was no answer either.
“So… redemption was possible all this time” he informed his first born. “I am sure you would've reached it, with time, had I… you know… not killed you and all that, funny how that is huh?” Adam looked at the tomb.
He felt something on his throat before he looked up, at the heavens… no, at the light that went far beyond everything.
“I wanted to tell you because… well, when everything is said and done you… probably would've ended up better if…” Adam felt the words stuck to his throat and he let out a groan before telling me. “If you didn't have me as a father…”
He felt any amount of the pride he once had long gone.
It wasn't that what caused the lumb of his throat.
It was… regret.
A regret so big that it seemed to stabbed him in the heart over and over and leave nothing but the feeling of the holes festering there.
It wasn't easy, telling them all those things, accepting them, but after seeing how everything ended after his death…
It was the truth.
It was something that apparently had taken him too long to understand.
He kneeled.
“I am sorry, Cain” the first man covered his eyes with his hand. “I am sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just…” the burning sensation on his eyes made him feel all the more broken, like all the regrets and pains and suffering came down on him, like a dam breaking. “Why?”
His tears felt to the ground, sour, he felt even worse for this one, worse because he couldn't just get hit, he wouldn't just talk about it and just surrender to what the world thought of him.
The one he couldn't ever take back.
His own child.
Even if not by blood, the one he raised, the one he took care of until he was grown, the one who killed his blood son.
Adam felt ashamed of himself, knowing that he condemned a life he took care of, just like he felt with the Exorcists, just like he felt with everyone and everything. But Cain's tomb remained there, unmoving, unresponsive.
And he wanted to know… he wanted to ask…
“Why, Father?”
Adam's forehead hit the ground.
He kneeled in front of his son's grave and wept like a child.
“Why did you make me if all I ever would have been was a failure?” He asked with his heart filled with a pain that soured every word. “Why bring me into his world if all I was just gonna cause was suffering!?”
There, in the inferno, there couldn't be an answer.
There wasn't one in the heavens either.
And yet, Adam wanted to ask.
He felt disgusting for daring to.
After all the pain he caused.
All the suffering.
All the lives he took for no other reason than because it was the easiest way.
All the lives he ruined just by merely existing.
Adam felt his shoulders shake while he cried, and among his shame and his pain and his disgust and his hatred…
Adam got his hands together in a pray, he dared to.
“Father…”
In that hell made by his own choices, the first man humbled himself, and asked like a child.
“Why was I ever born?”
…
Adam stayed in place, kneeling there.
It may have been a couple of seconds, it may have been entire minutes.
Yet.. a ragged breath came out of his mouth all the same, together with the oppressive feeling in his heart.
There was no answer.
He expected as much.
He had long since stray away from heaven's path, he had walked away from what his creator wanted for him…
Adam let out a sob, yet he accepted it.
He knew before he even got there that there was no point in asking, for he was undeserving of an answer.
He stood up and walked away, each step heavy, almost as if he was unwilling to keep going.
Then, almost like a breeze, a single white feather floated behind him, almost imperceptible.
He would only have known of it when it touched his shoulders, and a feeling that he had never felt in ten thousand years since his birth made him jolt and look behind him.
“Adam”
A voice…
No, something beyond a voice.
Something deeper, more meaningful, for He was beyond words.
“Adam”
The first man felt the breath leave his body, a soothing sensation that filled all of who he was, deep in his soul, cleansing it of suffering and despair.
“Adam”
The brown haired man gulped, light encompassed all of who he was, an ethereal light that overcame reality itself, as if anything but it existed.
Like a broken child, Adam sobbed while the name escaped his lips.
“Father…”
He knelt again.
This time, his forehead touched the ground and his eyes remained shut. “I…I am not worthy of speaking to you”
“With what do you measure your worthiness that's above my decree?” The Lord questioned him. “For I speak to you and listen to your words, what would make you unworthy that's above what I choose?”
Adam raised himself, still on his knees.
“I have brought so much pain” Adam said with defeat filling his voice. “In all my life, that's what I gave to others. That's all I ever could do, I just… ruined everything, I am the cause of all this suffering and I…” Adam grabbed his chest, his heart aching. “Why father? Why create me if everything I was gonna do was make everything worse?”
The Lord listened Adam, patient and understanding of his pain, just a couple of seconds between his words and His answer to leave Adam to compose himself.
“You did not bring only suffering to others”
“How can you say that!?” Adam almost demanded an answer. “If I didn't fail Lilith…if I didn't fail Eve… If I was better nothing would've ever happened in Eden, I was not worthy of ever walking Heaven and still… still…”
“Adam” the Lord said once.
“Adam” He repeated, making the burning tears in Adam fade while he finally opened his eyes.
“Long before the apple of knowledge, you had the free will to make your own choices” Adam remembered the look of disdain of Lilith while she walked away, and the look of disinterest in Eve while she did the same. “You were not responsible for the choices of others, if you played a part, that doesn't absolve them of their blame, nor does it make you the sole carrier of their faults”
“...I drove them into that choice…” Adam's face wrinkled while the words of the Lord soothed his soul, and he tried to reject them, they were not words that he deserved to hear.
“What you could've done that caused them to act, the choice remains in them. At no point did you force a hand on them to what they caused”
“...That still makes everything that happened later my fault!…Cain, the Exterminations… everything, I… I am not innocent in all of this”
“No. You are not”
The words ringed heavy in Adam's heart.
Even his father knew of his choice.
“It remains that you were not the one that caused all this suffering. And you were not unscathed of what it brought you, even if you're not innocent, it doesn't make you the reason for what they did”
Adam looked at his hands.
Blistered and rugged by a life of toiling.
Adam's head hanged, the words consoled him, but they did not remove his faults.
They healed, but they didn't remove the weight.
He stood up finally.
“Adam”
The First Man looked up, his eyes glowing at the light of His father.
“It's never going to go away, is it?” he asked. “This blame, this weight, I know I…” Adam's teeth clenched. “I just know is never going to be gone from me”
“That, way before your own words, you have know it”
The words of the creator ring deep in Adam's heart, while his shoulders dropped in acceptance.
“That is… the penance you will have to carry from now on”
Adam opened his eyes at those words.
“Penance?” He asked. “Do you… does that mean…”
He wasn't going to ask if he could ever go back to heaven.
He wasn't going to ask if he was forgiven for his past.
He didn't even ask if that meant somewhere, someday, he would get peace of heart.
What he asked was…
“Does that mean… in your eyes… I am still worth repenting?” He asked. “That I am not… not…’
Not a failure.
Not a broken thing.
Not a disappointing son, brother, friend, husband, father.
Adam then felt it.
It was like the most tender touch imaginable upon his cheek, reaching and filling his heart to the point that warm tears emerged from his eyes.
He felt like a kid who's father caressed his face gently and lovingly.
You have always been worthy of redemption.
Those words made him choke on a sob, as if seeing that after all the things that happened, all the things he did…
Even after all that, his father still loved him enough to give him the chance to earn his forgiveness.
His lib quivered while the tears keep failing.
“Father,” he cried softly, like a kid. Sniffing and choking on his own voice.
As the tears blurred his eyes, he was back at the garden, back in the arms that gave him life.
He was again that boy playing with his father in the garden.
And just like then, he felt the arms of the All Merciful give him a hug, as simple as it was, filling his very being with a bliss beyond words.
He didn't know how long it was then, it may have been a second.
It may as well have been an eternity.
But he was back at the mountain, at Cain's grave.
He blinked.
His heart still heavy, yet, the burden to carry was ever so slightly lighter, as if a new spirit was what guided his movements.
He was about to go away before he stopped.
Then he unfurled his wings.
He took a look at them.
Still golden and pristine, even as a fallen.
Adam put a hand on each pair.
He then pulled.
Unlike with the eye, and unlike with every other form of hurt he experienced, this time they came off almost cleanly, a second of pain and golden blood dripped from his back, the wounds simply closed in an instant.
He then dropped them on top of Cain's tomb.
Adam looked back at the tomb, not caring of his own wings torn there.
He closed his eyes, letting the tear fall down before letting a small smile grow on his face.
“Happy Birthday, Son”
Then, Adam HaRishon, Adam the First Human, Adam the man, not the angel, walked down the mountain, to his home, to the people he cared about, to live a life that was worth of redeeming.
If heaven ever solved the overpopulation of sinners, or if hell did, or if they went into a war… Adam never knew, and never tried to learn about it.
He gave up on that long ago.