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Chapter Text

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Rain wasn't sure how to feel about this move. On one hand, he was ecstatic. It was a chance to start fresh, none of the kids in his new school would have any preconceived beliefs about him and most importantly, they wouldn't know he's trans. On the other hand, he was scared. New town, new home, new school, new people. Rain was a pretty solitary boy, he didn't really care to make friends that he could hang out with outside of school but that doesn't mean he doesn't want any friends. He had a total of two close friends back home but now he doesn't even have them. Rain had never been good at meeting people and now he'd have to do it all over again. His big brothers had always been social party animals, they made friends with everyone and Rain could never really understand how they did it.

What if he didn't make any friends at this new school? What if the whole student body turned against him once they found out he was trans? Would they bully him like his last school did? Even his best friends had turned on him the minute the rest of the school did. They might not have bullied him but they had stood by and let it happen. Maybe it was better that he just kept his head down and tried to finish his senior year as fast as possible.

"Aren't you excited, my little HoneyBee? New school, new friends! I'm so excited for you!" Morgan, his hormone monster squealed, shimming his shoulders. "Maybe you'll even get a boyfriend this time!"

Rain groaned, breaking apart the empty cardboard boxes, having finally unpacked and set up his room completely. "Morgan, I'm not looking for a boyfriend."

"Oh come on Rain!" Morgan whined, "you've never even had a first kiss, just indulge your hormones for once."

"Morgan, teen boys are extremely immature and I really don't think telling them I'm trans is gonna go over well."

"Or, maybe, you might just find the man of your dreams who doesn't care about what's between your legs and will go down on you regardless."

Rain wrinkled his nose. "Gross, don't say stuff like that!"

"Fine," Morgan smiled, patting the boy's head gently, "We'll talk about this later, for now, I'm gonna see what other hormone monsters are in this city." With that simple statement, the horned monster disappeared within the blink of an eye.

Rain couldn't help but smile and shake his head fondly. Morgan had first arrived when he had been only ten. That had been the start of his realization that he was a boy, not a girl. Morgan, for all his vulgarity, had helped him through his realization, transition, and coming out to his family. The menstruations and body dysmorphia had thrown him into an extremely dark place. Through all of that, Morgan had helped keep the shame demon away and made him finally feel comfortable in his own body. Morgan was his ride or die and the day he left would break Rain's heart.

Maybe that was why he was holding off on losing his virginity. But, a bigger part of him knew it was because he was a coward. His family had accepted him and did their best to help him through his transition, although it took some time for his father to truly understand what being trans meant. His friends and classmates had instantly turned on him in the worst possible way. Some of them had bullied him, constantly misgendering him and shoving things down his pants to make him into a 'real man.' Those that didn't bully him had simply turned a blind eye to the abuse. Rain was terrified to open himself up to new people again, it was safer with his family.

Although, sometimes, when he watched his parents together or his older brothers weaving in and out of relationships, he liked to imagine himself in a relationship too. He wanted to know what it felt like to be loved, to be touched and cradled. To have his hair played with, to be kissed softly and hear the words 'I love you' whispered in his ear. Those fantasies had invaded his mind in the lonely hours.

Rain shook his head, pushing away the thoughts. As nice as it would be to be in a relationship, it wasn't likely that Rain would find someone and he had to accept that.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Rain took a deep breath, staring at the blue building, the word 'Bridgeton' scrawled onto a slab of rock on the side.

"Are you gonna be okay, Adrian?" Rain huffed at Levi' use of his full name.

"Yeah I'll be fine," Rain reassured his brothers, over the sound of his little sister's cartoon playing in the backseat, her backpack cradled in her lap, legs kicking in anticipation.

Unlike Rain, Sofia was excited to start fourth grade. She'd spent the past week planning out her outfits and chattering about all the new friends she was going to make.

"Alright well," Ronan spoke from the backseat, "you know I've only got one class today, I'll be home by eleven so if you need I can pick you up early. Just call."

"I know guys, I'm just anxious. First day jitters y'know?" Rain said, halfway out the door.

"Adrian!" Sofia called for him, rolling down the window. "Have fun! Make lots of friends okay?"

Rain chuckled, "Alright but only because you asked me too, okay?"

Rain leaned over the open window and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. "Bye guys! Have a good first day!" He waved, walking backwards towards the school as his siblings returned the sentiment before Levi sped off.

Rain had only turned halfway around before he collided with a warm body, forehead knocking into the sturdy unknown cheekbone.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Chapter Text

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Rain managed to catch himself before he fell. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Rain rubbed his palm against his forehead. "Are you alright?"

"I was until you ran into me like a fucking dumbass." Rain shuddered at the deep voice emanating so close to his ear.

He looked up and his breath hitched for just a minute. In front of him stood a boy about his age with pitch black hair tipped dark blue, emerald eyes glaring at him, irritated. The moment ended once he'd registered what the boy had actually said

He frowned, "It was an honest accident, you don't have to be rude about it man."

The boy hummed, smirking, "I don't have to do anything, I do what I want."

Rain rolled his eyes "And you choose to be a jerk to everyone you meet."

Rain started walking into school, he didn't want to deal with this guy. One step onto school grounds and he was already being hassled for a simple, honest mistake. This was going to be a horrible year.

The rest of the morning went off in the same cycle, he walked around finding his locker and new classes, gave out an introductory sentence when his teachers insisted then set himself into the only empty chair left.

The day was going monotonously until he got to his English lit class. He went through the same routine he'd gone through with his first three classes and found himself in the last empty seat in the very back corner of the room. He sat down silently, pulling out his pens before rummaging through his bag to find the correct notebook. He finally found the notebook he needed and settled it on the desk. As he went to pick up the black pen he found it missing. Rain started shuffling through the items on his desk before checking on the floor.

A hand suddenly appeared in front of him, offering his missing pen. He grabbed it ready to say thank you before he saw who it was. The boy sitting next to him was the same one he'd run into this morning.

Great.

"Huh," he whispered, uncapping his pen, "So you can be nice."

"I told you, I do what I want." The boy spoke in the same steady, deep voice as before "And right now, I want to be nice so I can lure you into a false sense of security."

Rain rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips as he turned to focus on the board. He didn't know what to make of this boy. On one hand, he was clearly a punk anarchist based on his clothes and the dark aura that followed him. On the other hand, there was something about the pure chaos in his eyes that intrigued Rain.

Rain let the silence settle between them. Although he wanted to get to know the boy, he'd never been good at starting or maintaining conversations, sometimes he wished he was more like his brothers. Although Rain felt no awkwardness between them, the boy didn't seem to mind the silence either.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

"Hey, new kid!" Rain startled for a moment before turning around, the school day had ended leaving Rain sitting on the bench outside waiting for his brothers to pick him up.

He looked up and found a blonde girl walking towards him. "You're Rain right?" She asked.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Well, I'm Leah," She smiled, "I host a back to school party every year and I just came over to invite you. It'll be at my house and if your parents ask, my parents will definitely be there." She playfully winked.

She pulled out a scrapped piece of notebook paper. "I don't make fliers since everyone here knows where I live but I figured I'd make one real quick for you."

Rain looked at the paper handed to him, "So, this has my address, the time and date of the party and my number." According to the paper, the party was on Friday and started at eight.

"So?" she asked, dark blue eyes shining, "Will you come?"

"I'll try," Rain answered honestly, "I'm not sure my parents will let me, new place and all y'know?"

She nodded, not the slightest bit offended. "I totally understand and hope to see you there. And don't worry if you can't come to this one, we have a lot of parties throughout the year so there's always next time." She waved goodbye, walking back to her friend group.

To be honest, Rain wanted to go. He wasn't much of a party person but he wanted to know what a high school party looked like in this new town. His parents won't mind, if anything they'll be excited he's making friends. His brothers on the other hand, were a whole different problem. The relationship between him and his brothers was pretty normal growing up. Annoying older brothers that pulled pranks, teased, and loved him every chance they got.

Then he'd transitioned and school became hell. After that it was like anyone who even looked at him was instantly the enemy. Levi and Ronan became overprotective feral alpha's who watched his every move, there was no way they'd let him go to the party. Realistically, Rain only needed his parents permission to go to the party but he had always hated going against his brothers, Rain knew they only hovered over him because they worried about his safety. Their worry had saved him from a lot of the more deadly aspects of bullying at his old school so he usually folded when his brothers helicopter parented him.

But this time, he'd decided that he would stand his ground. He really wanted to go to this party. All Rain has to do is convince his brothers to let him go. They'd be happy he wanted to go out and make friends right? They wouldn't want him to spend the next year all alone, right?

Friday evening, after coming home from school, Rain had asked his parents about going to the party and they'd been happy to send him off.

"I think that's a great idea, honey!" His mother smiled, taking off her scrubs in the living room, leaving her in an undershirt and shorts. "You'll be able to meet your classmates in a more relaxed and social manner."

"Her parents will be home?" his father asked, gazing at him through his glasses from his seat at the kitchen counter.

"Yes!" Rain nodded pointing to the sticky note pressed onto the fridge door. "I put their number and address on the fridge, they're only a few neighborhoods down."

"Alright," His father nodded, turning back to the laptop in front of him. "Text us when you get there and when you're on your way back. Watch what you consume and make sure you're home by four at the latest."

Rain nodded eagerly, he didn't even have it in him to roll his eyes at this fathers repetitive monologue. "The party starts at eight so I'll be home long before four."

Rain rushed upstairs to get change. Both of his brothers were out and weren't planning on being home until later so hopefully he could be out of the house before they got home.

"Oh a party! What are you going to wear?" Morgan asked from his seat on his bed. "I wonder if that pretty boy will come tonight!" The monster sighed dreamily.

"Morgan," Rain huffed, shuffling through the clothes in his closet. "That doesn't matter."

"You can't lie to me my little cherry blossom," Morgan spoke in a low teasing voice, "We both felt the warm tingling in our nethers when he spoke to us."

"Morgan!"

"Oh and those eyes!" Morgan continued as if Rain hadn't spoken at all. "You could just drown in them."

Rain huffed, finding a set of clothes he liked, Morgan really was the untethered side of him that spoke all of his deepest desires out loud.

Rain managed to get showered and changed within an hour. He'd decided to dress in simple, tight black ripped jeans, a fitting navy long sleeve, a silver chain around the side of his hip hooked onto his belt loops, and a set of silver and black rings on his fingers. His hair took another half an hour to blow dry and carefully set into a soft, effortless curtain fringe.

Rain never really cared about how he was physically perceived by others. He usually lived in soft, comfy sweaters and jeans but he always made an effort to make a good first impression. Although, technically everyone coming to the party had already seen him around school the past five days, this time he'd actually have to make an effort to talk to them. He took another twenty minutes to set his face with serums and just the slightest hint of makeup to make him look bare faced but handsome.

Rain snuck down the stairs, gazing at the front door to make sure his brother's shoes weren't laying there before entering the kitchen where the rest of his family were settled. Rain pressed a quick kiss to his mothers temple as he passed her chair before pulling a water bottle from the fridge.

"Adrian!" Sofia greeted him, looking up from her homework, arms raised.

Rain smiled, pulling her into a tight hug, "How's the homework going?"

Sofia pouted, pulling away to set her pencil down in a huff, "It's so easy it's boring. I want harder homework."

He laughed, "I think you're the first kid to ask for harder homework."

Sofia hummed, "You look nice big brother, are you going somewhere?"

Rain nodded, doing an exaggerated twirl for her, "I'm going to a party, what do you think, did I do good?"

The little girl tapped her chin, frowning in deep thought, "I like pink would be better but you did your best."

Rain snorted, "You think everything's better in pink."

"And I'm correct!" She yelled confidently and triumphantly. Sofia decided she was done with the conversation and focused all her attention back at her homework.

"Are you ready to go?" Nikolai, his father, asked, smiling

"Yeah, I'm gonna get going now."

"Did you get everything you need?" His mother, Anastasia, asked.

"Yup," Rain put his water bottle back into the fridge before patting his pockets. "Got my phone, keys, and wallet."

He moved to the living room, sitting on the couch to put on his black and white party converse. At the age of seventeen, Rain had enough alcohol spilled on him to know that the only shoes to wear to a party were ones you didn't mind ruining.

By the time Rain arrived at Leah's home it was just after nine and the chatter inside could be heard from the sidewalk. Opening the door, he was hit with the unadulterated chaos of a high school party. Music vibrating through his body and the scent of alcohol permeating through the air. Rain closed the door firmly behind him before walking through the cacophony of bodies. Within a couple of minutes the boy managed to find Leah in the kitchen.

The blonde enthusiastically greeted him, throwing her tipsy body onto his. "Rain!" she pulled away, gripping his shoulders and shaking him slightly. "I'm so glad you made it! Come on, I'll introduce you to my friends!"

The next couple of hours went by a lot more smoothly than Rain had anticipated. Leah's friends, Tallulah, Anna, Stella, and Connor easily invited him into their friend group. The conversation between them moved easily, his new friends seemed to quickly understand that Rain wasn't much of a talker and took to directing the conversation for him. By midnight, Rain was tipsy, bordering on drunk and his new friends were fully hammered. Rain watched as Anna pulled everyone into the living room to dance after Rain agreed to join them later.

Rain finished off the last of his drink before meticulously focusing in front of him as he worked, step-by-step, to make it up the stairs to the bathroom. Entering the hallway upstairs cut off the sound from the party downstairs and Rain felt like it was the first time he could see clearly. Holding the wall, Rain counted off the doors before trying to open the third door that led to the bathroom like Leah had told him.

He frowned, finding it locked. Rain jiggled the door violently while banging on it. "Hey! Open the door asshole, I gotta pee!"

Rain could hear someone talking through the door which just made him harass the door more violently. Another minute and he was stumbling through the door as it abruptly swung open.

"Ouchie" Rain mumbled pouting, gripping the door handle as his vision tilted. He took a moment to let the world stabilize before standing back up, he looked around and realized something. "This isn't the bathroom."

He turned to the guy who'd opened the door and was now watching him. Rain squinted trying to figure out who it was. He eventually gave up, huffing. "Hey man, where the fuck is the bathroom?"

"What the fuck are you on dipshit?" The boy's voice sounded like he was a half a mile away and underwater.

Rain groaned, annoyed. If this boy was just as drunk as he was then this would be a long conversation and Rain didn't have the patience for that. "The bathroom dickweed, I gotta pee."

The boy snorted, before pointing to another door on the left wall of the room. Getting into the actual bathroom was easier this time. Rain pulled off his rings, pouting at his tightness, he hated that drinking made his fingers swell. Setting the rings on the sink counter, he finished his business before stumbling back out. Rain didn't bother trying to leave the room, it was so loud downstairs and Rain was getting tired, he just wanted a moment to calm down. He'd have to get home soon and he needed to drink some water to get down enough to be able to walk back.

Rain slid down the wall with a grunt, silently commending himself for grabbing a water bottle before leaving the kitchen, he downed half the bottle before setting it aside. It took Rain another minute to realize the boy from before was still in the room and the fact that he'd entered someone's room and used their personal bathroom.

Oh well

He watched the boy sitting on the windowsill and realized he was smoking. Rain crawled over to him, before setting himself on the windowsill right across from him.

He held his hand out once he realized it wasn't a cigarette but weed. "Give." He demanded.

The boy exhaled out the window before turning to him, one eyebrow raised, "You're a real bold motherfucker aren't you?"

Rain didn't bother saying anything, hand still held out until the boy finally gave in. Rain inhaled deeply, letting the burn settle in his lungs before finally exhaling, shoulders slumping. He handed it back to the unnamed boy.

"I'm Rain, by the way."

"New kid. I know."

Rain rolled his eyes when the boy offered nothing in return. "And you are?"

"None of your fucking business." The man grunted, taking another puff.

Rain sighed, this boy's stubbornness suddenly reminded him of the blue haired boy he'd been sitting next to in English the past week.

Rain, in his drunken boldness, gripped the boy's face in his hands, yanking him close till he was barely a breath away. The fastest way to get a heterosexual boy to do what you want is to get touchy, Rain had learned that pretty early on.

"You can either tell me your name," Rain whispered, swiping his nose against the boys, "or I can kiss you."

The silence between them was palpable as Rain waited for this boy to stutter and push him away like all straight boys usually do. So Rain couldn't help but squeak, eyes widening as the boy gripped his chin and pressed his lips against him. His eyes closed on instinct as he savored the kiss. Some far away part of Rain mourned the fact that his first kiss had happened while he was drunk and had been with an unnamed boy. A bigger part of him didn't care at all; he didn't ever want the kiss to stop. The smell of tequila and weed swirling around them as their lips stayed pressed together until it became hard to breath and they had to pull away.

Rain shuddered slightly, fighting the urge to pull his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Judd."

"Huh?"

The boy smirked, chuckling darkly, "My name's Judd."

"Okay." What else was Rain supposed to say?

This boy, Judd, had actually kissed him. Rain had only done this with three other boys when they'd annoyed him and every time, the other guy would either stutter and push him away or get angry and yell homophobic slurs at him. No boy had actually called his bluff and kissed him. Rain continued to stare at Judd while the boy resumed his smoking as if nothing had happened.

He focused on the boy's features and realized that he'd met him before. He gasped, pointing at Judd, "English lit guy!"

"Took you long enough."

"I'm drunk! Besides, you've never introduced yourself before, we've known each other for five days and I just barely learned your name."

"I like to live in mystery."

Rain nodded, "I can respect that." he opened his water bottle, sipping it.

Once the bottle was finished he planned on walking home and decided this was the best time to text his parents. His eyes widened at the messages he found. Apparently, his brother's had noticed he wasn't home and his parents had told them where he was. They had messaged him a while ago saying they were coming to pick him up.

Fuck.

"Shit shit shit." Rain scrambled off the ledge.

In his rush, he almost face planted. Judd's arm secured around his waist and helped him stand up properly. "What's the rush, pretty boy."

"My brothers found out I went to a party, they texted me like twenty ago that they were on their way!" Rain couldn't even take the time to properly blush at the nickname. "If they don't find me soon they're gonna pull the plug on the whole party and that would be the biggest fucking embarrassment of my life."

If Ronan and Levi found him with Judd alone in a room they'd straight up plan Judd's murder. With his father's history, Rain had no doubt they'd actually kill the boy.

Judd helped him through the hallway before starting down the stairs. "I'll help you down the stairs. Death by stairs is a pathetic way to die." At twelve-forty, the party was still going strong, if anything it seemed to be even more packed than before.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, at the bottom of the stairs stood both of his brothers. They watched him in silent anger as he and Judd walked down the second half of the stairs.

"Take your hand off me." Rain hissed at Judd, "They will kill you."

Judd side eyed him before tightening his grip on Rain's waist. He sighed in his mind, this boy had a death wish and his brothers would be happy to provide. The only thing Rain could do right now was pray his brothers didn't cause a scene in front of everyone.

"Get your grimy hands off our little brother." Levi hissed as Ronan pulled him away from Judd.

Judd, much to Rain's horror, hooked his finger into his belt loop, grinning. "Make me, bitch."

Levi's hulking form took a menacing step forward, ready to lay into Judd. Rain, thankfully, managed to step in between them just in time to grab his brother's wrist. "Guys, don't cause a fucking scene, let's just go please."

Rain turned back to Judd, "Thanks for keeping an eye on me, I'll see you Monday." and with that, he used all his strength to pull his brothers through the house and out the door.

"Who the fuck was that?" Levi demanded as they trailed after Rain.

"He sits next to me in English."

"And tonight?" Ronan asked

"I couldn't find the bathroom, he helped me find it and then helped me back down." Rain was exhausted, he just wanted to go home and face plant onto his bed. Not get interrogated by his brothers.

By now his parents would be asleep but Rain still took his phone out to text him about what happened. A petty part of him couldn't wait for his parents to lecture his brothers tomorrow.

"Adrian, why the hell did you go to that party tonight?" Levi asked, clearly frustrated.

"We don't know these people-"

Rain cut Ronan off, "Exactly! We don't know these people and I never will if I don't get the chance to actually interact with them outside of school. Can you guys please stop?" Rain ran a hand through his hair, unlocking the front door. "I get where you guys are coming from, I really do, but this is a fresh start for all of us. I want to make friends and I can't do that if you guys hover over me and always assume the worst."

He chucked off his shoes as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake up the rest of the house. "I'm not a child, you guys have to trust that I can make my own decisions and if something does happen I'll come to you for help."

He continued up the stairs, not wanting to continue this conversation with his brothers. Rain got as far as yanking off his jeans and shirt before collapsing onto his bed.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Chapter Text

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Saturday started quietly. Rain spent his morning home alone watching cartoons with Sofia. His mother had a set of appointments to get through at the hospital and his father had decided to spend the day at the office. Rain had no idea where his brothers were but he suspected they'd be at their college campus, partying. After lunch, Rain had managed to draw away Sofia's attention long enough to get working on his homework.

The sun had started setting when he heard a tapping against his window. On instinct, Rain pulled a knife from under his pillow before leaning to his window.  Rain huffed in amusement once he saw it was Judd hanging onto the outside ledge. He moved the lamps and other trinkets off the windowsill before opening it.

"Hey" he said, watching Judd tumble onto his bed. "What are you doing here?"

"You really shouldn't have your bed against the window. A kidnapper might just drag you out in the middle of the night."

"Oh? Is that why you're here? To kidnap me?" Rain packed up his books, knowing he wouldn't get any work done now.

Judd hummed, looking around his room. "Nice place."

He took his shoes off, leaving them at the corner of the bed and stood up, surveying the room. Rain watched Judd poke and prod at everything from the anime figurines on his book shelf to the fantasy books on his desk, to the table filled with incense, candles, statues, and crystals. "Sick altar table." The boy fiddled with the rosemary on the table.

"Thanks."

Rain picked up two plum colored candles, set them into their holders before pulling out a lighter and letting Judd light them. He lit two incense sticks setting them in their holders, angled so the smoke would rise up to a set of tumbled rose quartz and aquamarine.

"So," The boys settled back onto his bed. "What are you doing here?"

"Bored. Figured you'd be free to hang out." Judd let his body fall back onto the bed. "Since you don't have any friends."

Rain scoffed feigning scandalously "I'll have you know I made friends at Leah's party last night!"

Judd smirked slightly, making Rain snort. "Regardless, I'm home alone with my sister right now so I can't go anywhere, wanna watch a movie instead?"

Judd agreed easily, Rain set up his Netflix account on his tv before leaving the room. "I'm gonna go check on my sister."

Rain went downstairs first, checking every door and window making sure it was locked. He then set the security alarm on before going back upstairs to check all the windows and doors again. Rain may not know much about Judd but he knew enough about the boy to know he wouldn't pick some lighthearted movie and Rain really didn't want to be paranoid when it was just him and his sister home alone.

"Hey Sofia," Judd opened the door to her purple and blue room. The little girl looked up, some random cartoon movie playing on the laptop in front of her, spools of thread, beads, and charms covering the carpet floor around her.

"Hey Rain! Wanna make bracelets with me? I already made one for you and mom, I'm making dad's now."

"I'm actually about to watch a movie, just wanted to check up on you before I started."

"Can I watch with you?"

"Sorry kiddo, it's a scary movie I don't think you'll like it"

Sofia pouted, "Okay...can we watch Scooby Doo together later?"

Rain laughed, Scooby Doo was one of the few childhood shows he still watched regularly.

"Of course we're gonna watch Scooby Doo together, don't we always?"

Sofia smiled, nodding succinctly.

"I'm gonna leave my door unlocked okay? Come get me if you need anything."

Rain found Judd stretched across his bed, shoulders pressed against the wall.

"Oh my lord, just look at him laying on your bed. Jump his bones Rain!"

"Morgan, no!" Rain hissed, he settled.

"I bet the sheets smell like his musk, bury your face in it." Rain ignored Morgans horny rambling.

"Fair warning," Rain settled next to Judd, "If my sister comes in, I'm burying you under the comforter and you have to keep quiet."

"Sure thing." Judd pressed play before Rain could call him out on his sarcastic tone.

A horror movie started playing and ten minutes in, Rain couldn't help but cringe as the killer repeatedly stabbed the poor girl.

"Gore not your thing?" Judd smirked arrogantly

"I don't mind gore, it's the whole home invasion of it all that makes me paranoid. I'm just glad I turned the security alarm on before we started."

Rain hissed as the killer walked into the house and swiped the girls phone without her knowing. "This is an interesting storyline though, I like that they mute the whole thing during Maddie's point of view since she's deaf."

Another thirty minutes later and Rain had his shoulders scrunched up to his ears, palms pressed to his cheeks. "Oh god. Run, run, run."

They watched as the tempo picked up, Maddie running to climb the vine fence as the killer followed. "Oh god," Rain's chest constricted as he watched an arrow lodge itself into her calf. Rain dropped his head onto Judd's shoulder, cheekbone pressed to his clavicle. Judd smelled like cigarettes and sandalwood, Rain loved it.

"Nice." Judd said, as Maddie managed to make it to the top of the roof and take the crossbow out of the killer's hand and push him off the fence.

They watched the rest of the movie in the same fashion. Rain cheered on the protagonist while Judd ragged on the killer. His head stayed on Judd's shoulder, the boy, at some point slipped his hand around Rain's waist, fiddling with the hem of Rain's black shirt.

The movie overall, was more anxiety inducing than scary, Rain enjoyed it regardless. They sat in the darkness as the end credits ran, the only light emanating from the candles they'd lit over an hour ago.

"Thoughts?" Rain asked in a low tone. The sun had completely set, the only light emanating from the candles they'd lit over an hour ago, and the warmth of Judd's body made Rain sleepy.

"You're warm." Judd murmured, lips pressed against his head.

Rain wanted to live in this moment forever and it seemed Judd had no reservations.

"I should check on my sister."

"I should get home."

Neither moved.

Judd slipped his fingers under Rain's shirt, softly grazing at the skin on his hip. Rain let him, eyelids slipping closed.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

"We're home!" Rain jolted, sitting up.

Oh god. His brothers were home. Rain turned to his left, ready to push Judd out of the window, only to find him missing. He didn't have the chance to wonder where the boy went. Levi and Ronan burst into his room, holding take out bags.

"We brought dinner!" Rain managed to, just barely, catch the bag.

"Whatcha doin?" Ronan set the drink they'd brought for him on the side dresser, Levi belly flopped onto his bed.

"God! Get off my bed." Rain set the food onto the nightstand just in time for Ronan to bodyslam him back into the bed.

Rain grunted, wincing. "Christ, you fuckers are the worst!" he gave in, knowing there was no way he'd be able to push off his built-like-a-tank brother.

"Aw little brother, we just wanna spend time with you!" Ronan grabbed him then proceeded to roll both of them around so that the smaller boy was squished between his brothers.

"This is abuse!" Rain cried out in a dramatic, fake rage.

Rain decided to pull out his secret weapon. "Sofia! Help!"

The twelve old already knew what to do, she came charging in with dual water guns, a war cry on her lips. She jumped on Rain before repeatedly shooting their brothers in the face with ice cold water.

Levi and Ronan rolled away trying to wipe the water off their faces until Sofia finally stopped, huffing in exasperation.

Rain swooped forward, pulling Sofia into his lap, "Sofia, you saved me from these hooligans! How can I ever thank you?" He cried out dramatically.

The boys watched as their sister climbed off Rain's lap, swiping away the imaginary dust from her skirt, huffing in annoyance. "Eat your dinner," She pointed one bright red water gun at him before moving it between Ronan and Levi, "And you two, leave him alone."

She marched the boys out as Ronan called out, "This isn't the end! We will get you Rain!"

Rain rolled his eyes. The three brothers had learned early on that he was Sofia's favorite and they all loved to rile up the little girl. Creating this game where Rain was the damsel who needed saving from his older brothers always triggered her fight response. It was funny seeing their fathers death glare gracing itself on the face of a twelve year old with baby fat still clinging to her cheeks.

"How sweet, you love your family, like a little bitch." Rain gasped, swerving around towards the deep voice.

"Jesus!" Rain hissed, "Where the hell did you come from? I thought you left."

Judd pointed a solitary index finger upwards before deadpanning. "Vent."

Rain looked up and sure enough, the vent above his bed was open. "How...never mind, I'm not gonna ask."

Rain settled back onto his bed, ready to dig into dinner. His parents had never minded that he chose to eat in his room. There had been a point, throughout middle school, where Rain had started isolating himself from everyone. Whether it was because puberty had turned him into a depressive emo child or because of his slow realization that he wasn't comfortable in his own skin. Either way, he'd started spending all of his time in his room, and any time out of it was spent snapping at his family in anger and sarcasm. He started coming out of his hermit ways sophomore year of high school. He still liked to spend a lot of time in his room but now he voluntarily left his room to hang out with his family.

"Nice job by the way," Rain opened the foam box to find spicy chicken, white rice, and steamed vegetables. "Hiding before my brothers came in."

He offered the extra utensils to Judd and they both started digging into the steaming food. "I was in the vents long before your brothers got home."

Rain turned to him, grinning. He knew that his parents would have been home before his brothers but he'd never had to worry about them. They never barged into his room like his siblings usually did.

"Were you perving on my parents?"

Judd only grinned, stuffing a broccoli piece in his mouth.

"You're a fucking creep aren't you?" Rain laughed.

The foam container was emptied twenty minutes later, a drink cup filled with soda, half empty and watered down with melted ice.

"I had a nice time today, thanks for coming over." Rain said, stuffing the garbage into the plastic bag.

"That was the plan, a nice time." Judd said. "Creeping on your parents was also the plan."

Rain let out a startled laugh. "God you're such a freak. So, what did you learn, creeping on my parents."

"They're just as sickeningly in love as my parents. Don't ever let them meet."

"Well, I'd have to meet your parents first to know who to keep mine away from."

"You met them at the party yesterday."

Rain took a moment. The only adults he remembered meeting were Leah's parents.

"Oh shit! You're Leah's brother."

Judd smirked.

That left Rain briefly confused. "I never would have guessed, you're complete opposites. Leah's all bright colors and social. You're dark and introverted."

"You're one to talk," Judd snorted "Your brothers are all buff and tall. You're small and thin."

"Hey! I have a sleeper build, you just haven't seen me with my shirt off." Rain joked, sliding open his window to let the night breeze in. "You should get going, it's late and I don't want your parents to worry."

"I do what I want, my parents don't rule me."

It was weirdly warming that Judd likes spending time with Rain enough to not want to leave because honestly, Rain wanted him to stay too. Judd's presence was chaotic in a twisted calming way. Rain found himself, not over thinking his every word and action when the boy was around.

"Aw, are you saying you want to spend time with me?" Rain teased, "Didn't take you for a softie, Judd."

Judd scoffed, "I'm not soft."

"And yet you didn't feel the need to defend the 'spending time with me' comment?"

"You're the least annoying soul sack I've met in a while."

Rain smiled. He'd take his little victories when it came to Judd. He moved off his bed, picking up the rose quartz and aquamarine set above the long gone out incense sticks. "Here." He handed the crystals off to Judd who rolled them in his hand for a moment before pocketing them.

Judd moved one leg out the window before stopping. "Wait, I almost forgot."

"W-"

Judd surged forward kissing him. Being kissed fully sober hit Rain harder. Judd, for all his rough and dark anarchy, had extremely soft lips. Rain felt like he'd been zapped. Every thought ever possible seemed to be running through his brain like a train. Rain wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He liked kissing Judd but had no experience when it came to making out. Judd gladly took the lead. He roughly pulled Rain closer by the shoulders, forcing his hands onto Judd's thighs, fingers gripping tightly in anticipation. Judd slid his hands up Rain's neck to cup his face. Rain felt his breath hitch in anticipation as Judd slid his tongue past his lips. He didn't have a moment to worry about what to do with his own tongue, Judd wasted no time pushing Rain's tongue around.

They continued in the same fashion for a few more moments before Rain pulled away. This time he didn't stop his urge to pull his bottom lip between his teeth. He tasted nicotine and citrus.

Rain looked up and found Judd smiling in pure amusement. "You forgot your rings in my bathroom."

Judd slipped his hand into Rain's, pulling it up. There, on Fay's hand, were the set of silver and black rings that he remembered putting on last night before leaving for the party. "O-oh, uh, thanks for bringing them back."

"And one more thing?" Rain looked back up. Judd was smirking. "You're cute when you're flustered."

Before Rain could respond, Judd slipped off the ledge and disappeared into the dark streets.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Chapter Text

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

What was he doing? The first kiss, his first kiss, Rain had decided to ignore. He'd been drunk and high when it happened and Judd had also been high so he pretended it was just the influence of alcohol and drugs that made them kiss. But this second time? They were both sober. Judd had chosen to kiss him and Rain chose to kiss him back. This wasn't like him. Rain didn't go around kissing random people. So why, in the hell, did he willingly kiss a boy he'd known for barely a week. Rain'd let him into his room and then proceeded to fall asleep while he was there, letting his guard down completely. His little sister was just one door down, if Judd had been anyone else, Sofia could have been seriously hurt.

Yet, he felt no guilt over letting himself get close to Judd.

Rain groaned in frustration, burying his face into the pillow that now smelled like Judd. He accepted that he liked Judd. But did Judd like him? He was the one who initiated both kisses, so that meant he liked him right? But both times, Judd had been teasing Rain so maybe this was just a game for him. Maybe being the new kid had interested Judd and eventually he'd move on.

Rain didn't want to play games, he had to talk to Judd.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Turns out, Judd had a similar idea.

"I'm picking you up, be ready by eight." Judd walked away before Rain could say anything and that was that.

Rain sat down next to Stella at the lunch table trying to figure out what the hell just happened. "What was that about?" Stella asked, pushing back her dark blonde hair.

"I don't know, honestly," Rain unwrapped his steaming chicken sandwich, letting it cool for a moment. "Judd just said he'd pick me up at eight."

"Judd," Leah asked, "my brother, Judd."

Rain nodded, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Yeah, we met at the party, he's pretty cool."

His friends stared at him in shock and disbelief. "What?"

"Uh," Leah looked at the other three at the table before continuing, "Listen, I love my brother, but he's a major asshole."

Rain nodded, "No, I agree. But he's fun to hang out with regardless."

"I'm sorry, pause, rewind." Connor said. "Judd Birch is taking you out tonight?"

"I guess." Rain shrugged.

"Oh my god!" Anna grinned "Judd's taking you out on a date, this is so exciting!"

Rain felt his face warm. "It's not a date, Anna. We're just hanging out."

"No, I agree with Anna. My brother doesn't just 'hang out' with people." Leah pointed a fork at him. "If that fucker hurts you, I will kill him."

Rain laughed watching his friends not in agreement. "Shouldn't you be on your brother's side?"

"Please." Leah rolled her eyes, "I know my brother well enough to know that if something bad happens it'll be his fault."

"So, are you gonna go?" Stella wiggled her eyebrows, teasing.

"Okay, I still don't think it's a date, but yes I'm going."

"You can expect us at your place by 5." Connor states.

"Wait what?"

"Oh yeah," Stella nodded, "We're helping you get ready."

"Guys-"

Leah cut off Rain "Besides, I know exactly what my brother likes. Unfortunately." She shuddered.

The conversation got away from Rain at that point. He didn't mind his friends inviting themselves to his house. To be honest, their excitement made him excited too. He didn't let himself fantasize that this could be an actual date. Although, if Judd was going to ask him out, Rain imagined it would be like this. If it turned out not to be a date, Rain didn't mind. He just liked hanging out with Judd.

At five-ten, Rain found himself opening the door to Leah, Anna, Connor, and Stella. Rain led them into the living room where his sibling and mother were. Sofia had some show playing on the tv, Ronan had taken over the coffee table with his notebooks and laptop, and Levi was laying on the couch doing something on his phone. His mother was curled up on the loveseat, asleep.

"Hey," Rain got his siblings' attention. "These are my friends."

Rain quickly introduced everyone before ushering his friends up the stairs and into his room.

"Oh my god." Anna gasped, "Your brothers are so hot."

Conner nodded as the two of them opened Rain's closet, rummaging through his clothes. "And there's two of them! One for you, one for me." The two laughed.

Rain wrinkled his nose. "That's gross, don't talk about my brothers like that...though for the record, Levi is pansexual and Ronan is straight."

"Which one's which?"

"Levi has a round face, Ronan has a narrow face."

Rain watched the brunette and redhead pull out his clothes, mixing and matching them together while Leah and Stella snooped through his bathroom.

"Oh my god." Leah gasped. She exited the bathroom holding an open purple plastic container.

Rain felt his heart drop.

Fuck. His T-shots.

"Holy shit, Rain!" Stella pulled out an individual needle. "What kind of crap are you on?"

Rain took a deep, shaky breath. There was no way he was going to let his new friends think he was doing hard drugs. "It's not what you think. Those are my T-shots."

Anna sat down next to him. "Like, testosterone?"

Conner put the shot back in the box and Leah set the box down.

"Yeah," Rain nodded, picking at his cuticles. "I'm a trans male."

A part of Rain didn't know why he was worried about telling them, his new friends were pretty open minded. Then again, he'd trusted his old friends too. So maybe Rain's judgment was flawed.

"Oh thank god, I thought you were doing hard shit." Leah exhaled in relief.

"I thought we were gonna have to help you get clean and not gonna lie, I don't know how to do that." Connor nodded.

"Oh my god, same." Anna nodded, grasping Rain's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Although the shots must suck, I heard that you have to take T-shots everyday."

Rain took a moment to digest their words. "That's it?"

"Yeah." Connor shrugged, moving his attention back to the mound of clothes they'd pulled out.

Stella gave him a tight hug before moving to follow Connor.

"I'm sorry I went through your stuff like that, though." Leah said, "You should have been able to tell us when you were ready."

Leah left to put the box back in his bathroom.

Anna squeezed his hand again to get his attention. Rain turned and found her softly smiling at him. "You good?"

Rain smiled, feeling the anxiety leave his body. His friends didn't think any less of him. They still saw him as a male despite his history. That knowledge made him tear up.

Yeah," Rain whispered, "I'm good."

Another two hours found Rain dressed in a black sleeveless band tee, a pair of black high waisted jeans held together by a black belt with a silver buckle, three chains hooked onto his belt loops, and black boots.

"Why do I look like I'm about to commit a felony?" Rain looked himself over in the mirror.

"Because knowing my brother, you will be committing a felony tonight." Leah snorted.

"Now for the jewelry," Stella slipped a ring on each index finger while Connor clasped a bracelet on one wrist, a silver watch on the other.

"I think you're ready." Connor said as the group eyed him one last time.

"Thanks guys," This wasn't Rain's normal get up but he kind of liked it. It made him feel confident.

The door to his bedroom opened. "Hey, we're about to order pizza do you guys want-" Ronan stopped mid sentence, looking at Rain. "Why are you dressed up?"

Rain started speaking before his friends could accidentally rat him out. "We actually have plans. We're gonna eat out and see a movie."

Ronan raised an eyebrow, making Rain wince inwardly. If anyone could catch him in a lie, it would be the younger twin. Ronan shrugged, "Alright, we'll leave you a couple of slices."

Rain slumped on his bed when the door shut firmly behind his brother.

"So," Connor leaned against his dresser. "You just lied to your brother."

"Yeah," Rain huffed. "My brother's are very overprotective. Levi almost punched Judd at the party last Friday just for helping me down the stairs."

"They were at the party?" Stella asked, "I don't remember seeing them."

Rain shook his head. "No, they came to get me when my parents told them where I was."

"That's sound toxic as hell." Anna stated.

Rain shrugged, "Honestly, I don't mind it. They weren't always so overprotective. I got outed at my old school last year and it got really bad for me. It's part of why we moved here, to be honest."

He slipped his boots on, tightening the laces. "Even my friends turned against me and some of them I'd known for years. Ronan and Levi got a lot of detentions and suspensions trying to keep me safe."

"Shit dude, that sucks." Connor sympathized, squeezing his shoulder.

"You won't have to worry about that with us, we've got your back, Rain." Anna nodded.

"Our school's pretty chill, so if you ever feel ready, you can definitely come out." Stella continued, "Give us a heads up first though okay? We do have a couple of ignorant fucks who say dumb shit when people come out and never seem to learn."

Leah sat down next to him. "You don't have to worry about Judd either, by the way," She bumped their shoulders together in a friendly manner. "He literally won't give a fuck either way."

Rain hadn't felt this kind of positive acceptance from anyone other than his family, it made him love his friends even more. "Thanks guys. Really, you have no idea how much this means to me."

Anna awed, pulling him into a tight hug, the other three caging them into a group hug.

Leah was the first to pull away. "Okay, okay, enough with the mushy feelings, we gotta get going, it's like five till eight."

Rain nodded, grabbing his things. "Okay, I'm gonna walk out with you guys then double back to the side of the house."

The group made their way downstairs, Rain led them towards the living room where his entire family were, his father having come home an hour ago. "Hey, we're gonna get going, the movie starts soon."

"Okay hon," his mother smiled, "What time will you be home?"

"About midnight I think. We wanna get dinner afterwards."

"Be careful," His father nodded, "make sure to text us when you get to dinner and on your way home."

Rain knew what his father meant. They already knew where the movie theater was but as far as his parents knew, the group hadn't decided where to eat yet. His father wanted to know where they would be in case something happened.

Sofia walked up to him. "Hand please." she demanded.

Rain crouched down and held his hand out. Sofia slipped a bracelet with jade beads onto his wrist before leaning over and whispering in his ear. "For good luck, on your date." She moved away, smiling mischievously.

Rain managed to usher his friends out after that.

"So," Rain said as they made it onto the sidewalk, "My sister knows I lied. She knows I'm hanging out with Judd."

"Oh fuck, how?" Connor asked.

Rain shrugged. "Honestly, I'm like ninety percent sure Sofia's made of magic."

They made it to the edge of his neighbors fence before he stopped. "I'm gonna wait by the side of my house."

They said their goodbyes and good luck's before Rain snuck to the side of his house, right under his bedroom window.

He'd just barely unlocked his phone when he heard a voice. "Hey."

Rain jumped just slightly, heart racing. He glared, pointing into the darkness where the voice came from. "You have got to stop doing that, you'll give me a heart attack one day."

Judd slunk out of the darkness. "You die when I say you die."

Just switched out his normal gray and black outfit for just black. Tight black t-shirt, black ripped jeans, and black combat boots. A black duffel bag slung over his shoulder. His green eyes seemed to glow in the darkness.

"Does that mean you're planning on being the one to kill me?" Rain asked.

"I've planned both of our deaths, double suicide by arson."

Some part of Rain wondered if he should be worried that that statement made Judd more endearing instead of frightening him.

"I can live with that."

"You will die by it."

Rain snorted, "If you say so. Now, where are we going exactly?"

Judd smirked. He slipped his cold fingers into Rain's, guiding them to a large, dark green jeep with tinted windows smattered in stickers sitting next to the sidewalk. "Well damn, I didn't think you were planning on killing us right now."

Judd laughed as they got into the van. Rain investigated the car and found it to be a lot cleaner than he expected.

Rain softly hooked his index finger onto the rope hanging on the mirror. "No hanging man?"

"I buried him yesterday." Judd peeled away from the curb.

"My condolences."

"Don't be, the asswad deserved it."

Rain chuckled, retracting his finger. "What was his crime?"

"Existing." Judd deadpanned.

Rain played along, nodding seriously. "He definitely had it coming then."

Judd glanced at him, smirking.

Rain fiddled with the stereo, only stopping when 'Skeletons in My Closet' made the car shake from it's deep bass. "Nice." He leaned back in his seat. Letting the vibrations from the song settle in his mind.

"Didn't know you'd be into this kind of music."

"I'm into all kinds of music. I just listen based on mood."

Four songs later, Judd parked by the sidewalk. Rain wasn't sure if the ride felt short because the destination was close by or because Judd sped with no care for the law.

They arrived at a string of cozy, warmly lit restaurants. Rain expected to be pulled into one of them. Instead, Judd locked the car, duffle bag in hand, and led them into the alleyway between two buildings.

"The hell are we doing?" Rain asked, watching Judd crouch to unzip the bag.

"Vandalism." He pulled out a set of red and black paint cans.

Rain raised his brows. He thought Leah was joking when she said they'd be committing a felony tonight. It didn't surprise him that Judd did graffiti, it complimented his personality and Rain had no problem with this side of him. But he hadn't expected Judd to take him on one of his crime moments.

The brainy part of Rain, told him to decline Judd. Demand they do something that wouldn't get them thrown in jail. On the other hand, the rush of possibly getting caught made his heart race and palms sweat.

"Oh! He brought you here to commit a crime, we're on a date with a criminal! That's so hot." Morgan groaned in anticipation "Do it. Graffiti the entire wall then have him fuck you into the wet paint!"

Rain took a breath, choosing to ignore Morgan.

He watched silently, as Judd used the black can to paint a raccoon head, then the red can to draw an 'A' before circling the letter off. Rain realized he recognized the same artwork all around town. On walls, dumpsters, mailboxes, even on some of the lockers and desks at school. Judd had been doing this for a long time.

Judd stood up, turning to the brown eyed boy. "Your turn."

"What?" Rain breathed, "I can't do that."

"Ha. Fucking coward."

"I just mean," Rain rolled his eyes. "I'm not good at drawing, especially free hand."

"You don't need to be fucking Picasso." Judd moved to lean against the wall, eyeing his work. "Whatever you put on this wall has to mean something, a symbol that shows who you are."

"What does your symbol mean?"

"I have an army of raccoons, hence the raccoon. The 'A' is for anarchy."

"You have an army of raccoons?" Rain snorted in disbelief when Judd nodded. "No the fuck you don't."

Judd shrugged, "Trained them to terrorize my brother. Ended up being great caterers."

Rain hummed, he wasn't sure if Judd was lying or not. Then again, What would he gain from lying about something like that. It didn't make him seem dark and tough. If anything, caring and training a whole group of animals made him seem soft. Although, doing it to terrorize his little brother was a bit worrying.

He took a moment to figure out what to symbolize himself with. His gender identity was the obvious one, but Rain didn't want his gender to be the only thing to define him. He wanted to display something that identified his past, present, and future.

Rain nodded, the pieces of his design coming together in his mind. He took the black paint can from Judd then pulled blue and red from the bag.

"Alright," Rain said, shaking the black can "If I fuck this up, you're not allowed to laugh."

He turned to the empty space next to Judd's work and got started. Using the black paint, he outlined a paw print. Using the blue, he outlined the inside of the black circle, second from the left. He then hung a lowercase T from the bottom of the blue circle. Two tilted arrows sprouting from the top like horns. He finished off, placing a horizontal line through the left arrow. Picking up the red, he outlined the side of the black circle on the very right, drawing a simple scythe hanging from it.

Rain settled next to Judd, heart thudding nervously. "What do you think?"

"Explain it first."

He pointed to the red area "That's a scythe, it's a symbol of my favorite book series 'Red Rising.' The paw because I want to be a veterinarian. And that one," He pointed to the blue painted area, "is the Transgender Symbol. I used blue because I'm a transgender male."

Rain watched Judd's face to watch his reaction. Judd stayed stoic, for a moment before nodding. "I like it."

"That's it? Nothing about me being trans?"

Judd turned to face Rain, head leaning against the wall. A mischievous smile on his face. "We slept together. You've got nothing down there dude, it wasn't hard to figure it out."

Rain blushed at his words, he'd forgotten they fell asleep in the same bed just a week ago.

Judd laughed at Rain's embarrassment. Holding his hand, Judd slung the duffel bag over his shoulder again and navigated them out of the alley. "Come on, we've got a lot of places to vandalize tonight."

Three hours later, found Rain feeling energized and tired at the same time. Sneaking around illegally spray painting public property was exhilarating but running around for three hours had been exhausting.

Rain did his best to stifle a yawn, sitting against the brick wall of a fast food building. Leaning his head on his knees, Rain watched Judd finish off his design.

Judd crouched next to him, running a steady, cold hand through Rain's hair. "Tired?"

Rain nodded, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Alright then, come on." Rain whined, letting Judd pull him to his feet.

They made it to Judd's car but instead of getting in the passenger seat, Judd pushed the backseat flat. He pulled out a blanket and two pillows from under the seat before ushering Rain in. "Wait here, get comfy. I'll get us dinner."

Rain crawled onto the faux bed before slumping down. Judd slide into the driver seat and pulled into a drive through. Rain rolled onto his back. He raised his hands to look at them. Three hours with paint left black, red, and blue staining his hands. He snapped a quick picture of his right hand before sending it to the group chat Leah had created for her, Anna, Connor, Stella, and him. He captioned it 'the hand of a criminal.'

He laid in the silent dark letting the rocking car lull him in and out of sleep until Judd finally parked and jumped into the back, two brown bags in one hand and two drinks in the other hand. He sat up making room for the food and drinks while Judd threw open the back door.

"Whoa," Rain shivered both from the night chill but also from the view in front of them. Judd had driven them out of town and up in the hills. From here they could see the whole town, lit up beautifully in every color imaginable.

"Chicken nuggets with buffalo sauce," Judd handed Rain a steaming bag and one of the drinks, then climbed in beside him. "Figured you were the type."

"Bullseye." Rain smiled faintly, unwrapping the foil.

They ate in silence, decompressing from the night out. Rain stared out at the view between bites at the symmetrical grid of houses, glowing with light and life far out in the distance. The stars shining brighter without the light pollution of the city.

Packing up his empty containers, Rain spun around facing the inside of the jeep and laid on his back, letting his head hang off the edge just enough so he could still see the inky black sky.

Moments later, Judd mimicked his position. They laid there, pressed arm to arm. "I come up here when I don't wanna be home."

Rain glanced over at him, catching the twinge of misery in his eyes. "Back in Italy, our house had this massive forest in our backyard. Most nights, I'd sneak out, climb the highest tree, and spend the night watching the stars."

Judd turned to look at him and Rain simply smiled. "I get it, the need to get away from your family."

Judd didn't smile back. He just looked at Rain for a long, quiet moment. The kind of look that made Rain feel like he was being taken apart cell by cell, vein by vein. Like Judd was reading every piece of him in a way that no one had ever bothered to before.

"I didn't think anyone would," Judd finally said, voice so low it almost blew away with the wind. "Most people think I'm just an asshole."

"You are an asshole." Rain replied, tapping the back of his hand against Judd's.

Judd let out a breathy laugh. "Fair."

Another quiet stretched between them, but it didn't feel awkward. It felt peaceful. Like they didn't need to fill the space with words to know where they stood. Rain closed his eyes for a second, breathing in the cold air, the scent of spray paint still faint on his fingers.

"I feel disconnected from my family most days." Rain drew in a deep breath and exhaled. "Sometimes it feels like they don't know me at all."

"How can they love me if they don't know me." Rain opened his eyes, focusing on the chipped paint at the edges of the doorframe.

"Tell me." Judd shifted, fabric moving against the car's interior as he turned onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow. "Tell me something real about you."

Rain weighed his options.

He could keep his mouth shut and go on living in silence, or he can open up. "Most days I don't feel much. I've gotten very good at compensating, smiling at everyone, laughing at the right moments, caring about things I don't give a damn about. Most days I feel like I've been possessed."

The silence grew between them, the hum of distant traffic, the tree's gently rustling around them as the wind caressed their leaves, the world simply watching them as it spun steady and constant.

"I know the feeling," Judd finally said, voice rough around the edges. "Like someone's taken control of your body and all you can do is sit there and watch them live your life better than you ever could. Like there's some secret to being happy that you never figured out."

Rain opened his eyes, looking at Judd. A deeply solemn understanding glowing in Judd's green eyes. "Like there's a switch in my brain that never flipped on."

Judd's mouth twitched, not a smiled but not a frown. "Maybe there isn't a switch, maybe we're just meant to be like this."

Rain grinned, "How's that working out for you?"

Judd huffed, bitter. "Terribly."

Rain couldn't help but laugh at their depressing state. Judd rolled his eyes, a rare playful look in his eyes. The space under Rain's ribs felt warm, like a slow burning fireplace. He turned on his side, curling around his legs up to his chest in a useless effort to keep the fire burning. Judd dropped his head, curling his arm above Rain's head until he could graze his fingertips against the other boys inky black curls.

"Your turn." Rain said. "Tell me something real about you."

Judd stayed quiet for a beat too long.

Rain thought maybe he'd pushed too hard. Cracked the moment wider than Judd wanted him to.

But then Judd exhaled, soft and uneven, like something from the deep hollow of his heart was trying to break out.

"My best friend killed himself when we were ten."

Rain stilled, gaze fixed at the shadows enveloping Judd as if they were trying to shield him from the world.

"The day he died, we'd been fighting. He wanted to come over but my parents were struggling with Nick. He'd been sick and they'd spent the past day at the hospital with him, I didn't want to add to their stress. So I told Jason he had to go back home. I didn't know it at the time but Jasons parents weren't good people."

Rain felt nauseous.

"If I'd cared less about my parents, about Nick, maybe Jason would still be here."

Rain silently wiped away the lone tear trailing down Judd's nose.

"I remember sitting on the porch every night for a month, waiting for his light up shoes to come stomping up the driveway." He chuckled, not an ounce of humor in it. "Turns out, you can't turn back time."

"That day, I decided I'd never care again. The people I love can't leave me if I don't love them to begin with."

Judd's hand fell away from Rain's hair, but not far. It hovered near, anchored with a desperate need to keep contact.

Rain reached up and pull the arm around himself, resting his head on Judd's bicep, slotting their fingers together.

"I'm not going anywhere." Rain whispered.

Judd's eyes flicked to him, moon beams reflecting against in his green iris'. "Promise?"

Rain slid closer, pressing his forehead against Judd's collarbone. "Promise."

Outside, the wind settled, silence enveloping the world as it's people fell into slumber. Inside the car, a different raw, quiet, real silence settled.

For the first time in a long while, Rain didn't feel possessed. And Judd felt his heart pulse to life.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Chapter Text

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

A month later and Rain was at his limit.

"Leah," Rain huffed, dropping into the empty desk between Leah and Anna's. "I'm going to kill your brother."

Rain had been waiting all day for this class because it was the only one he had with his friends. Sometimes it sucked, having friends who were all juniors.

"Understandable, why?"

"Because!" Rain huffed, "he keeps kissing me!"

"Holy shit!"

"Wait, but isn't that a good thing? You like him right?" Anna asked

"Yeah I like him, but he's being so vague about the whole thing. He keeps kissing me and we hang out a lot but he's never actually asked me out."

Fay groaned, dropping his head onto the desk. "I keep trying to talk to him about it but he keeps finding ways to change the subject and I'm really starting to get pissed."

"I hate to say it, but this is a very Judd thing to do." Leah frowned.

"Seriously?" Rain turned it head towards Leah, frowning.

"Yeah, Judds always preferred casual relationships. He's only ever had one serious relationship and even that only lasted a month."

"I think first we need to figure out what you want. Would you be okay with a casual relationship? Maybe like a 'friends with benefits' thing?" Anna asked

Rain slouched in his seat, pulling the sleeves of his shirt over his fingers. "No," he shook his head. "I don't want a casual relationship regardless of who it's with."

"And if that's what Judd wants?" Leah asked in a low tone

Rain shrugged, "Then I'm good with just being friends and he needs to stop kissing me."

"And you're just okay with that? Being friends with your crush?" Anna asked

He nodded, making Anna look at her in bewilderment "well shit, that's very mature of you. I'd never be able to just be friends with my crush."

"I can't tell if this is his way of saying he wants a casual relationship, if he isn't sure of his own feelings, or if he's just messing with me." He started picking at the stray threads on his left cuff. "Like, 'haha I've been making out with the half and half time to check that off my bucket list'"

"Rain, what the fuck!"

"Wow! Okay," Leah leaned over to grip his hand "first of all, you're a boy. Period. End of story. Second of all, I doubt that that's what Judd's thinking but if he is, I'll slice his dick off and make him choke on it."

"Y'know what you should do," Anna started. "The next time he asks you out, tell him you can't because you're going on a date."

Rain wrinkled his nose, "Faking a date is pathetic, I'm not doing that."

"No honey," Anna grinned, "You aren't faking a date, I will be your date."

"Oh that's good!" Leah nodded in intrigue.

"And if he gets jealous and upset, that means he likes you. Then, you can confront and define your relationship." Anna nodded

"And if he doesn't care, then you can tell him to stop kissing you and go back to being friends." Leah reasoned.

Rain felt his phone buzz, he laughed at the notification. "Are you free today Anna?"

The girls giggled, seeing Judd's contact pop up. "Hell yeah baby, we'll go see a movie."

Judd: be ready at 8

Rain: Can't, I have a date tonight.

Judd: The fuck? With who?

Rain: Anna Juniper, We're going to the movies.

Judd: Cancel.

Rain: I'm not doing that! I actually like her.

Judd: What time are you going? We can hang out after.

"Shit," Rain said, elbowing Anna. "You wanna go to dinner after?"

"Of course!"

Rain: Can't, we're going for dinner after.

Rain: We can hang out some other time.

Judd: Fucking fine. Call me when your shitfest of a date tanks.

Leah laughed, reading over his shoulder. "Judd's definitely pissed."

"Hey, you want to come with us?" Rain asked Leah.

"Hell no, you have to sell this so it has to be just the two of you. Judd's a creepy stalker, I guarantee he'll follow you two tonight."

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Eight o'clock found Rain in front of Anna's door, a bouquet of roses in his hand. Anna opened the door, her red hair glowing against the white long-sleeve corset with a deep dip at the chest. She'd paired the top with high waisted black, gothic shorts and knee length, lace up boots. A series of gold chains adorning her neck.

"Wow," Rain said, handing her the bouquet "If I wasn't already into Judd I definitely would be drooling over you."

Anna laughed, setting the flowers on the entrance table. "You look pretty good yourself, hot stuff."

"Honestly, I feel underdressed now." Rain looked down at his black jeans, white dress shirt, and white puma's.

"Oh please, you look great in everything. Besides, we're both overdressed for a movie theatre."

Rain held out his elbow which Anna gladly took.

The walk to the movie theatre was easy enough and thankfully it was a Wednesday so there weren't too many people at the theatre despite it being only eight. They bought a large popcorn to share and two drinks before making their way into the proper theatre. They'd chosen a horror movie so the room was mostly empty except for one group of high schoolers and three couples scattered across the seats.

Anna and Rain settled smack in the middle. "So," Anna leaned over to whisper over the previews. "I have to warn you, I'm big into horror movies and I've followed this franchise from the first movie."

Rain leaned over, grinning. "Same! I only recently got into this franchise but it's one of my favorite ones."

The movie was entertaining. It was beautifully written and the duo had fun whispering to each other occasionally, commenting on the characters and scenes.

"So I gotta level with you," Anna said as they exited the building. "I don't think I have it in me to eat another bite."

"I'm so glad you said that, I've been trying to figure out how to tell you." Rain laughed

He startled slightly as Anna slipped her hand into his. "What are you-"

"I'm like 90% sure I just saw Judd." Anna whispered.

Rain put in a concentrated amount of effort into not looking around for him.

"So what do we do now? Should I just walk you home?" Rain asked

"I think that's for the best." Anna said, grinning up at him briefly, "He didn't look too happy."

The walk back to Anna's house was spent talking about comic books and future superhero movie theories.

"I had a great time tonight." Anna smiled, turning to face him once they stopped in front of her door.

"I did too!" Rain nodded "It was refreshing talking to someone who actually knew comics enough to keep up with what I say."

Anna leaned up and pressed a stained kiss on his cheek before entering her house with a wave goodbye.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Rain pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. Judd had already snuck into his room before he'd even made it home.

"I'm pretty sure I locked my window this time." He smiled, quickly changing into a pair of black sweats and white short sleeve shirt in the darkness of his closet.

Judd didn't reply, he continued to silently stare at Rain from his spot on the bed. Jaw clenched, face set in stone.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" Rain asked.

"How was your date with anal Anna?"

Rain stopped in his tracks. "What did you just say?"

Judd smirked, smug, "Rumor around school is, Anna lets you do anal on the second date."

Rain stood there, staring at him. He spent a moment trying to find the right words. "Okay, I don't know what's crawled up your ass but that's an incredibly disgusting thing to say."

Judd shrugged, "I'm just saying, you don't have to put in much effort for her. She's an easy lay."

Rain frowned. He knew from the beginning that Judd was very blunt and had little to no shame. He knew that Judd liked to actively be mean to people but this was taking it too far. "How can you say that? First of all, that's just a rumor. Second of all, even if that was true you don't get to use that against her. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm only telling the truth."

Rain had to clench his fists to keep them from shaking. He took a deep breath before speaking, "I need you to leave and never talk to me again."

"Nah, don't think I will. I don't get what you're so upset about? I've always been blunt with the truth, you know that."

Rain clenches his jaw, exhaling through his nose. "You're not telling the truth, you're just being a jackass. You're acting exactly like the kids at my old school."

The smirk slid off Judd's face.

"Do you know how many rumor's went around about me after I was outed? How many shitty names I was called?" Rain couldn't stop the tears from swelling in his eyes. "I had a group of girls openly calling me a whore because they were convinced I was pretending to be trans to get into the boys locker room for a gang bang. I had guys openly grope me because according to them, trans just meant 'future prostitute' and they wanted to help me 'practice'."

Judd stood up from the bed, stepping towards Rain. "Rain I-"

"Just leave." His voice cracked. "Just please, leave."

Rain turned around and locked himself into his bathroom. He settled himself on the floor, back against the wall. In the darkness, he finally let the tears flow and started crying. This wasn't how the night was supposed to go. The goal of his date with Anna was to get a reaction out of Judd. To get him to finally have a serious conversation with him about their relationship. Instead, Judd had managed to throw Rain back into the worst year of his life.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

'You can't wear that!'

Rain didn't bother looking up. He already knew who it was.

'That shirt shows off your curves!'

Rain sighed, he hadn't seen the Dysmorphia Dog in a year. He went back into his closet and pulled out a big blue hoodie before slipping it over his head. Rain had learned early on that it was easier to give into the puppy, the more he fought Dysmorphia the bigger he got.

'That's better! Now no one will see your girly figure!' The dark red Great Dane puppy jumped on his bed in excitement.

'Or, how about we just crawl back into bed? Curl up under five layers of blankets with the curtains closed and watch Hallmark movies, that'll make you feel better.'

Rain grimaced, with the Dysmorphia Puppy came the Depression Kitty.

Rain ignored the navy colored Calico cat. He made sure to triple check the lock on his window before leaving for school. Normally Rain didn't care that Judd had made it a habit to sneak into his room but right now the last thing he wanted was to see him much less talk to him. Rain knew he'd see the boy in school today but thankfully the only class they shared was English, in which they had a test today. So there would be no time for Judd to talk to him.

The day went, classes passing by in a blur until lunch. Rain was dreading it, he knew his friends would want to know what happened after his fake date with Anna and the boy didn't have it in him to tell them the truth.

"How did it go? Did Judd finally man up and DTR?" Connor asked, picking at his sandwich.

"Yeah," Anna bumped his shoulder, sitting next to him. "What the fuck happened last night?"

Anna's tone made Rain pause. She sounded worried. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Anna started unpacking her lunch. "The weirdest thing happened in my math class. Judd fucking apologized to me."

Leah choked on her water. "What the fuck? What did he apologize for?"

"I don't know!" Anna said, exasperated. "He said that he wouldn't go into detail but that he'd said something shitty about me and he wanted to apologize."

Rain didn't bother looking up, he continued to pick at his food, letting the table fall into silence. He knew they were looking at him for an answer and he really didn't want to talk about it.

"We got in a fight, he was being an asshole to you." Rain shrugged.

"Judd's always been a fucking asshole you know that." Leah responded.

Stella nodded, "Yeah, you said you didn't mind."

"And I don't." Rain looked up. "There's a line between edgy, angsty asshole and a straight up bad person who doesn't care about other people."

"He was upset about the date, started ragging on you and the way he was talking just reminded me of everyone from my old school." Rain started packing up his bag. He didn't want to deal with this again, he just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. "I can deal with a lot of shit but I refuse to let anyone push me back into that fucking mindset. I don't wanna go back to the way I was at my old school."

"Rain-" He ignored the call and walked out of the cafeteria so fast he missed Leah pulling her phone out, ready to give Judd a piece of his mind.

Getting home, he replaced his jeans with a pair of black leggings before raiding the kitchen for an armful of drinks and snacks. He put up the black curtain on his window and set his tv to play hallmark movies.

'There we go sweetheart, all nice and cozy.' Depression Kitty settled a pile of blankets around him as he curled onto his side.

Two movies later, he could hear his window start to rattle. Rain snorted at Judd's attempts to get in. Suddenly the curtains opened, he covered his burning eyes. "Close the curtains you dumb fuck!" Rain snapped.

The curtains were promptly closed.

Rain turned back to the TV. "You don't have free reign to come into my room anymore, leave."

"I'm sorry." Judd said, settling onto his bed, back against the window.

"You're forgiven, now leave."

"Rain, please."

"What do you want me to say?" Rain sat up, finally looking at the green eyed boy.

He'd never seen Judd look so serious. His eyes glistened solemnly, lips puffed into a frown.

"I was upset. It's not an excuse!" Judd backpedaled at the frown on Rain's face. "It's really not. I was upset that you were going on a date with Anna and I didn't want to take it out on you so I took it out on Anna. I'm an asshole most of the time but that isn't an excuse to slut shame. I was trying to prevent you from dating Anna and instead I hurt you."

Rain took a moment to process his words. This was the first time he'd seen Judd this open and honest with his emotions. Judd had always been an unapologetic asshole and now, not only had he apologized to Rain but he'd apologized to Anna who hadn't even heard what he'd said.

"Why did you apologize to Anna?"

"Because she's the one I attacked."

"She didn't hear what you said."

"Doesn't matter, She's the one I attacked, she deserved an apology."

Rain couldn't help the upper twitch of his lips. "Y'know, this is the most emotionally stable I've ever seen you. Your parents would be proud."

Judd groaned, falling back next to Rain. "Fuck off, asshole. I apologized, what more do you want?"

"Nothing." Rain shrugged, smiling down at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah, You apologized to me and you apologized to Anna without making it a spectacle in front of me, that's how I know you really mean it."

"Oh, alright." Judd sat up, shoulder to shoulder with him.

Rain let them fall into silence for a few moments before speaking again. "So, why were you upset about me going on a date with Anna?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe because we've made out a handful of times?" Judd stated, confidently.

Rain hummed. "I don't know, that doesn't exactly make us exclusive."

Rain yelped when Judd grabbed his arms and yanked him into his lap. Rain settled his hands onto Judd's shoulder's as Judd's hands made their way to his hips. "What if I said I wanted to be exclusive?" Judd asked, squeezing his hips briefly.

Rain couldn't help the way his lips pulled up into a smile, his cheeks warm. "I'd laugh at the fact that I spent a month trying to get you to talk about our relationship and all it took was one fake date for you to spiral."

Judd frowned, eyes squinting slightly. "Fake date?"

"Yup," Rain chuckled. "Leah said that the only way to get you to properly commit was to make you jealous."

Judd huffed, jaw clenching. "That twat waffle! I'm gonna-"

Rain surged forward and kissed him, fingers sliding up the back of Judd's head.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Chapter Text

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

This was not how Rain was expecting the day to go. He sat on the cloth covered chair next to the buffet table taking in the scene before him.

"This is..." Rain watched, eyes wide at the cacophony of middle schoolers milling around, dressed in their finest suits and dresses.

"Sociopathic?" Judd finished his sentence, handing a plate of appetizers to a raccoon with a bowtie.

Rain nodded. "So, how real is this exactly?"

"Fuck if I know." Judd rounded the corner, handing Rain a clear glass filled with a tequila sunrise.

Rain pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before downing half the glass.

"I'm getting paid bank for this shitfest, that's all I care about." Judd flicked Rain's forehead.

Rain nodded, finishing the rest of his glass.

He got up to refill his drink, Judd followed. "Are you trying to get drunk?"

Rain grinned, pulling the tequila bottle out from under the buffet table. "Oh come on, you're telling me you don't want to get shit faced and make out until we make everyone uncomfortable." He shook the bottle in a teasing way.

Judd chuckled, "You know I prefer smoking."

Rain shrugged, filling a second glass with whisky for Judd. "I'll smoke with you."

Judd raises an eyebrow but takes the glass regardless.

"Hey Judd," Rain turned to find a short redhead in a purple dress.

"Hey Nick's friend, Jessi." Judd responded.

The girl, Jessie, finger gunned while saying, "What's the haps, Mr., uh- Mr. Guy?"

Rain pressed his drink to his lips in an effort to keep down the chuckle bubbling in his throat.

Oh boy.

Judd hummed sardonically, clearly done with the conversation and walked away.

Jessie chuckled nervously, "I won't be ignored, I am a dangerous lady."

Rain didn't stop the laugh this time. "You alright there?"

Jessie turned to him, startled and turning red. She hadn't realized he was even there.

Before she could respond, Judd's little brother, Nick, came over. "Why are you being so weird?"

"I'm not being weird," She stumbled back into the table. "no one saw that!" She walked away as fast as possible. "Fuck you!"

"Yikes." Rain mumbled

Nick turned to the tall boy. "What the fuck was that?"

Let it be known that Adrian Morozov loved gossip. He wasn't ashamed of the fact that he liked to know what was going on around him, but he refused to be a part of the drama.

Rain shrugged "Not sure, you should go check on her. She seems upset."

Nick looked at him for a moment, trying to recognize who he was before Rain realized he'd never officially met anyone in Judds family except Leah.

"I'm Rain," He tipped his head in the direction Judd had left. "Judds' friend."

He decided to take the safe route. Two weeks ago Rain and Judd had officially started dating. Yet, Rain hadn't told anyone in his family and he was sure Judd hadn't either.

Nick looked him up and down before responding. "I'm sure you are."

Rain watched him walk away, eyebrows scrunched, eyes wide.

Rude.

Rain wandered back towards the organized tables before settling into a chair in the very corner with only one other middle schooler occupying it.

Technically, Rain wasn't invited seeing as he didn't know any of these munchkins but he doubted any of them would have the guts to look him in the eye and tell him to leave.

"So," Rain started, watching the two commentators as they riffed off of each other yet clearly talking to the dark haired boy next to him. "Are you here for the bride or the groom?" He joked.

The boy swiveled to face him, palms slamming onto the table. "What and I can't be here for both? You saying I have to pick one? Fuck you!"

Rain reeled back. What is it with these middle schoolers, he couldn't remember ever being this intense and hormonal at their age. "Dude chill out, I was just joking!"

The boy rolled his eyes, looking away.

Now, remember, Rain wasn't one to insert himself into other people's drama...yet. This boy looked upset. And not the 'the love of my life is getting married to someone else' kind. No, this was a 'my life is over and I have no one to help me' kind.

"What's got you so upset?"

"What's it to you huh?"

Rain huffed, "Okay listen kid, I don't know you and you don't know me. Literally anything you say to me I'm not gonna judge you."

The boy sighed, shoulders sagging. "I told everyone I'm bisexual this morning."

Oh crap, he was not drunk enough to give a thirteen year old sexuality advice.

"You see that girl in the red glasses? She's new to school and she told everyone she's pansexual. Everyone thinks it so cool that she likes boy holes and girl holes-"

Rain winced.

"So I thought it was safe for me to come out. But everyone's been so weird about it and some people don't even believe that I'm bisexual."

Rain took a moment to find the right words. "Y'know, I came out to my parents when I was about your age too."

The boy looked at him, eyes wide. "You did?"

Rain nodded, sucking the last of the liquor from his glass before setting it aside. "You're all just barely entering your teenage years. So many things are changing so fast. It's one thing after another, you're being thrown into the real world where things like sexuality and gender become the biggest struggles in your life. I promise you it will get better. It's amazing that you're confident in your sexuality enough to tell people, you just have to give them time to learn what sexuality really is and give them a chance to catch up."

The boy nodded, processing his words. "I guess that makes sense, I didn't even know it was possible to like both boys and girls until recently."

"See, exactly!" Rain smiled, leaning down to pick up a glass offered to him, he silently thanked Lindsey, the raccoon, with a quick scratch behind her ear. "You're just moving a little faster than the rest of your peers."

"Is that alcohol?" He pointed at the glass. "Can I have some?"

Rain laughed, the boy was clearly done with the conversation and Rain wasn't one to push.

"Have you had alcohol before?" He poured a mouth full into his old glass.

"Oh yeah! My dad defended the guy who created Cotton Candy Brandy. The first booze made for kids by kids."

So many things to unpack there.

Rain handed him the glass "I'm Rain, the way."

"Jay!" The boy eagerly tipped the glass all the way back, inhaling a couple semi melted ice cubes as well. "More please!"

Rain raised a brow. Giving a thirteen year old alcohol in the first place was extremely illegal, but giving him too much would just make things worse. He poured in one last mouth full. "This is all you're getting."

The boy nodded absentmindedly, eyes already wandering elsewhere.

"I thought I took the bottle when I left?" Rain turned to find Judd settled next to him.

He grinned. "You did! Your little raccoon army just loves me more." He winked.

Rain's cheeks had warmed a good twenty minutes ago. The euphoria finally settling in. He leaned into his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Are you really going to sit here and watch these fuck nuggets get married? I didn't invite you here for this." Judd asked, trying to take the liquor glass from Rain's hands.

Rain giggled moving the cup to his other hand away from Judd, tongue pressed between his teeth. "We can leave in a bit and smoke."

"Oh, oh!" Jay jumped in his seat. "Can I smoke too?"

"Fuck off, microdick." Judd grouched.

"No, you cannot smoke. I don't want to have to drive your panicking ass to the hospital when I'm already drunk."

"I can handle my weed! Fuck you!" Jay yelled

Rain rolled his eyes at the aggression.

"Uh oh folks," He turned his attention to the boy with the microphone. "We've got a runaway groom."

"Devon wait," The audience watched as Nick ran after a boy in a black and grey suit with a red rose tucked into his pocket. "If you don't want to get married because you're a child, then that makes perfect sense."

Rain nodded sipping at his drink again now that Judd had given up on taking the cup from him. It was ridiculous that so many attendees didn't see the problem in a pair of thirteen year olds getting married. That's not even mentioning the parents in this situation. How does a parent let their middle school child get married, much less plan a real, elaborate wedding for them?

Nick continued. "Or because Devin's a total bitch, sure. But if you don't want to get married just because of these stupid, bullshit lists,-"

"What lists?" Rain whispered, leaning down towards Jay.

"I'll tell you later." Jay whispered back.

"Then that's crazy, because it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. Why do you want to marry Devin?"

The groom rubbed the back of his neck while responding. "She said if we got married, she'd give me a hand job."

"Jesus fuck." Rain murmured. How the hell was any of this real? Are middle schoolers really this sexual?

Nick smiled, "See, there you go! That's beautiful."

Rain watched as the wedding proceeded without a hitch.

He said his goodbye's to Jay before making it back to the buffet to grab the last of the tequila from under the table. "I give it six months."

"Please, they won't even last a week." Judd said, following his lead.

"Are you kidding?" Rain laughed. "These thirteen year olds had a legit wedding. Their parent's actually let this happen. This entire group is way too into it. I bet they're gonna go on a honeymoon too, mark my words."

"Heyyy Judder butter, what's melting?"

Rain bit the inside of his cheek. Holy shit this girl's awkward as hell.

"What are you talking about?" Judd asked.

"Um, I was wondering if, um, so dumb, but if you, um, fancy a dancy, or -" Rain cringed, watching her swing her arms to mimic a dance.

Judd cut her off. "I don't dance with kids."

"I am not a kid, for your information." She hunched over slightly and changed the tone of her voice before continuing. "I am 60 years old. I remember when Moses was president."

Rain lost it, he couldn't help the laugh stumbling past his lips. He hid his face behind the bottle in his hand. Rain didn't want to embarrass the girl more than she already probably was so he started walking away back towards the house. Seconds later, Judd fell into step next to him.

"Oh god, that poor girl." Rain giggled not at all feeling bad as they entered Judd's house.

"What a twat waffle."

"Oh come on!" Rain grinned walking up the stairs to Judd's room. "She has a crush on you!"

"You broke her heart," Rain tsk'd at Judd, a mocking frown on his face. "Would one dance have killed you?"

Judd jabbed a finger towards him. "I don't dance with children."

Rain grinned. "Does that mean you'll dance with me?"

Judd shrugged, lighting a joint. "Under the right circumstance."

"Right, of course." Rain responded, amused. Judd didn't seem like the kind of guy to do anything that would put him on display, he liked to stay in the shadows so his response was more than Rain had expected.

Rain dug into Judd's top drawer, pulling out a box of cigarettes and Judd's favorite chainsaw shaped lighter and fell back onto the bed.

"Can you stop stealing my shit, asshole." Judd threw a paintbrush at his boyfriend.

"No." To make his point, Rain slipped on one of Judd's ratty hoodies. He tossed the paintbrush back.

Rain knew that Judd needed some time to decompress after having to deal with a hoard of pre-teens all day so he silently watched as his boyfriend pulled out thick black and red candles. The blue haired boy held them out towards Rain who quickly lit them with the little chainsaw in his hand. In a silent thank you, Judd leaned down and pressed a searing, dirty kiss to Rain's tequila stained lips. Rain hummed, licking at the lingering taste of Jack Daniels Judd left on his lips.

Rain turned over onto his belly, cigarette hand leaning over the edge of the bed to let the ash fall to the carpeted floor. The mix of tequila, whiskey, weed, and menthol sunk into Rain's body, making his skin buzz and brain tingle. Rain buried his face in Judd's sheets, inhaling the thick musk so deeply it elevated his high.

Eventually, Rain turned to watch his boyfriend again. Judd sat cross legged on the floor directly in his line of sight, a massive canvas leaning against the bed. The lit candles set meticulously around the room flicking warm orange light across Judd's face as he concentrated on the canvas in front of him. Judd liked silence the same way most people liked music. He used it to relax, concentrate, and bury his emotions inside it.

Rain silently watched his boyfriend paint, his fingers stained red and grey. Eventually the cigarette burned out and tequila bottle emptied. Rain knew how much Judd needed the silence and he didn't mind. In fact, Rain loved that he didn't have to keep a conversation going like he did with everyone else in his life. All that said, he was getting bored.

"Can I paint with you?"

"No."

Rain pouted. "Mean."

"You hum pop music when you concentrate."

"No I don't!"

"You also dance in place."

"...thats fair." Rain hummed happily, letting Judd continue with his work now that he was done bothering him.

"Stop staring at me."

"You stare at me all the time!" Rain pointed at Judd accusatorially. Judd snapped his teeth at Rain's finger, making him pull back with a yelp.

"It's creepy when I do it."

"As opposed to what?" Rain rolled his eyes. "Endearing when I do it?"

Rain rolled off the bed, moving to sit behind Judd so he could see the canvas. As expected, it was a deeply emotional piece. A skinny red figure from the chest up, his face smeared across a grey background. An agonized face, teeth splitting across his open jaw, eyes showing miserable acceptance at his fate. Rain watched at the delicate care Judd took in outlining the protruding collarbones and hollow neck.

It wasn't anyone Rain recognized but clearly this boy meant a lot to Judd. Rain could only assume it was Jason.

"Wanna tell me about him?"

Judd dropped back onto his heels, falling next to his boyfriend. He stared at the canvas for a time, silent and stone faced as he tried to catalogue his thoughts.

"Jason wanted to be an astronaut." Judd's voice quivered, raw with emotion. "Said he was gonna be the one to find the aliens."

"He was convinced they were here on earth hiding out as humans." Judd leaned towards his bedside counter and pulled out a faded yellow journal covered in glittery space themed stickers. "Kept this journal with him at all times so he could record any weird stuff people did."

Judd handed the book to Rain. Rain carefully thumbed at the rough texture of the stickers. "He thought I was one of them."

Rain snorted, slowly opening the book. "You are pretty weird." He smiled at the unorganized writing and doodles smeared across the pages.

"I played into it every time." Judd knocked his head against Rains as the two looked down at the journal.

Rain stayed stiff, not wanting to push Judd away. "No wonder you're so weird and creepy."

Judd huffed, lips ticking up into a nostalgic smile. "Maybe."

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

It wasn't something he planned on pursuing, but Rain liked to dance.

His parents had happily sent him off to ballet, hip hop and contemporary classes from a young age. He loved being able to drown himself into the music and let it carry him away without a care in the world. Which is why he chose to continue his dance lessons in Bridgeton as well. There was a dance team at his school but he didn't want to perform in front of his peers. So he'd chosen an outside class.

"Nice job today everyone!" Their teacher, Marcus, clapped his hands as they finished up with their cooling off period.

Rain dropped down next to his bag against the mirrored wall. He worked on stabilizing his breathing and down half his water bottle.

"Hey man," Rain's friend, Ryan, sat down next to him. "You were great today."

"Thanks, you too!" Rain smiled. "Are you guys practicing today?"

Rain was part of Marcus' dance class but Marcus had his own team of professional dancers who were either already in college for dance or looking to get in. Ryan was nineteen and had already been admitted into the premiere arts college in the area.

"Yeah, Marcus is giving us an hour to get dinner before we have to come back." Ryan unzipped his bag, pulling out a blue plastic container and black plastic fork.

Rain nodded, getting back to his feet. "Well, good luck! I'll see you on Friday, yeah?"

Ryan grinned, sending him a thumbs up.

Rain grabbed his bag and made his way through the door and into the parking lot. The sun had set over an hour ago and the dark silence of the parking lot made Rain a bit nervous. He was thankful he'd finally gotten his license so he didn't have to wait for a family member to pick him up.

"Rain!" He jumped, fingers gripping the pepper spray keychain, thumb on the button. He relaxed when he realized it was just Marcus.

"Hey man, what's up?"

"I'm so glad I caught you!" Marcus smiled, dimples on display. "So you've been with us for a couple of months now and you've been doing amazing. I think you've got some great strengths and I was wondering if you'd consider joining my dance team?"

"Oh," Rain felt stunned for a moment. He had enough confidence in himself to know that he was a good dancer. But good enough to dance with a bunch of college students who live and breath dance? He wasn't sure. "I'm not sure, Marcus. I just do this for fun, I'm not really looking to turn it into a career."

Marcus nodded, "Completely understandable. Just think about it, yeah? I'll send you the routine we're currently working on, practice it, see if you vibe with it." He started walking backwards towards the building. "We'll talk more next Friday!"

The drive home was silent and thoughtful.

"Explain to me again why you don't want to join the dance team?" Ronan stabbed at the lettuce on his plate.

"Because I don't want to turn dancing into a chore. Being on the dance team mean's legit practicing like a dog in order to perform in front of people." Rain reasoned.

"I think you should do it." his dad nodded. "You've always loved dancing so why not further that pursuit when the opportunity presents itself?"

Rain sighed, "But what if I start hating it? Right now, I go to dance class and Marcus teaches us fun, short routines and corrects our weak spots. It's up to us if we want to keep up with those corrections and we can move at our own pace because there's no deadline. Being on the dance team means there's a performance deadline, which means we have to get everything exactly right. It would end up taking up a lot of my free time."

"That is true. I don't think you should join the team." His mother reasoned. "Maybe if you were looking to pursue dancing as a career this would be a different conversation but you're not. What's the point of putting in all this time and effort if it's not gonna take you anywhere in life?"

Rain nodded. That was the mindset he'd had towards dancing for the longest time. But hearing his mom say it out loud hurt him in a way he hadn't expected.

"That's stupid," Levi pointed his fork towards their mom. "I spent all of middle school and high school playing soccer. The skills I learned in those sports aren't gonna help me in any way in law school yet you always encouraged me to keep bettering myself."

Oh god. Rain knew where this was going. He started quickly but subtly working to finish his plate, he didn't want to be here when Levi lost his cool.

"That's different," Their mom waved Levi off. "Sports help you learn endurance and build muscle. Dancing isn't a sport."

There it was.

"The hell it isn't." Levi snapped, slamming his fork down.

"Jesus fuck mom." Ronan mumbled.

Sometimes Rain wondered if their mom actually accepted that he was trans or if she was just waiting for him to get over this 'phase.' She'd been the one to always push him to improve his dancing when he was little. She'd stopped verbalizing her support when Rain started his T-shots. He wondered if his mother thought dancing was too girly or if talking about it reminded her of the time before he'd transitioned. Growing up, he'd always been closest to his mother. He loved his dad but the man wasn't very in touch with his emotions so it was hard for Rain to get close to him in some ways. His mom and him shared everything though. Since coming out, it felt like something had changed between them. In the beginning Rain didn't mind it, he was a teenager of course his relationship with his parents would change. But now, he wasn't sure what to think.

"Do you know how much control you need to be able to isolate parts of your body? Do you even know how much weightlifting Rain does to stay in shape enough to be able to effortlessly pick up his teammates during a routine? Are you seriously gonna look me in the eyes and tell me that all of the cardio Rain does isn't going to help him when he has to run after and subdue injured animals long enough to treat them properly?"

"I'm just saying that-"

His father cut her off, "Enough, Anastasia. Rain loves dance just as much as Levi loves sports and Ronan loves sculpturing. Sofia spends all her free time creating jewelry that she never ends up wearing yet we still encourage her because it makes her happy. Not everything we do needs to have some big, life altering effect on our career in order for it to be worth it."

He turned to Rain, "Like I said, I think you should join the team. Marcus clearly sees your potential and you owe it to yourself to see what type of opportunities this could present. Regardless of the choice you make, we will support you."

Rain nodded, the lump in his throat finally subsiding. He dropped his plate into the sink and went back up to his room.

The following Friday, Rain joined Marcus' dance team.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Chapter Text

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Leah had shit taste in men.

Rain couldn't help but grimace as he watched Daniel and Leah interact. "Please tell me I'm not the only one who hates that cunt bag."

"Agreed," Connor huffed. "He thinks he's God's gift to the art world."

"Sanctimonious fuck." Stella nodded.

"Leah can do so much better." Anna flicked the cap off of the tequila bottle.

Leah had decided to throw a halloween party. Rain had been excited at first, having an excuse to get drunk and dance the night away. Somehow Daniel had managed to turn a booze filled, ground shaking party into an elite stuffy affair with barely a handful of people and little to no alcohol.

"If this party doesn't turn into a drug and alcohol filled dance party soon I'm gonna lose my mind." Connor huffed.

The group had collectively decided to dress up as superheroes for halloween. Anna was dressed as Black Widow in a skin tight suit and fake guns. Stella, in a unitard and fishnets, chose Black Canary. Connor came dressed as Superman in dark blues and reds. Rain managed to find a black and blue spandex suit and a pair of eskrima sticks to be Nightwing. Leah was supposed to be Gwen Stacy's SpiderWoman but decided to ditch the costume. According to Daniel, dressing up for Halloween was 'childish.'

"My brother's are at a college party," Rain said, looking around the group. "Wanna go there instead?"

Anna pointed to him, tequila bottle still in hand. "That. Let's do that."

Rain pulled out his phone.

Rain: Hey, send me the location of the party you're at. Our's is a bust.

Ronan: I don't know if that's a good idea.

"Should we tell Leah?" Stella asked. They watched Leah lean towards Daniel in an exaggerated laugh.

Rain: Either we come to the party you're at, or we can just wander around town looking for our own.

"Would we be bad friends for ditching her?" Conner asked.

"Fuck that," Rain grouched. "She ditched us first."

"Yeah!" Anna agreed, "We were supposed to be superheroes. We even had an elaborate backstory for why DC and Marvel superheroes were in the same universe."

Ronan: Fucking fine.

Rain grinned. "Alright, I've got the address. I can drive us."

The group managed to walk right out the front door without Leah even glancing at them. Rain would feel bad about it later but right now he just wanted to get hammered.

"Where's Judd tonight?" Stella asked.

Rain unlocked his car and they all slipped in.

"I honestly don't know. He doesn't come to Leah's parties, they're too boring for him so I didn't ask him to come tonight."

"Well," Anna started from the passenger seat. "We're not at Leah's anymore." She wiggled her eyebrows, shoulders shimmying.

Rain snorted before tossing her his phone so he could start driving. "Here, text him for me."

Anna fiddled with his phone for a bit before frowning. "I can't find him in your contacts."

"Oh, yeah, Judd only uses burner phones and he gets a new one like every other week. Just message the most recent chat one labeled 'unknown.' If he still has that phone he'll respond. If not? oh well." Rain shrugged.

"Are you sure this is the boy you wanna be with?" Conner asked, grimacing. Stella smacked his chest.

Rain just laughed.

Rain: Hey, where are you? Got plans tonight?

Judd: Yeah, busy.

Rain: Understandable.

Rain: Guess I'll just have to grind up on drunk college boys in my spandex suit.

Judd: The fuck you will asshole.

Rain: [Address] See you there Xx

"He'll meet us there." She grinned before plugging her Halloween playlist to his car.

They arrived at a literal frat house, Rain parked on the opposite sidewalk a few houses down. He did not want a bunch of drunk kids around his new car.

They entered the house and made their way straight to the kitchen. Rain made sure to set their first four shots before making a drink for each of them.

"Alright," Rain exhaled, cheeks warm, vision blurred slightly. "Are we all tipsy?"

Anna and Stella nodded, hands gripping their drinks.

"Hell fucking yeah!" Connor yelled yet his voice was still incredibly muffled under the blasting music.

"Great!" Rain pushed his half empty cup towards the other three. "Now let's chug this shit and get to dancing!"

They slammed their cups together, downed them in seconds, then held hands to single file onto the middle of the jam packed dance floor.

The next hour passed in a haze of pressed bodies and soul shaking music. Anna and Stella squeezed off the dance floor minutes ago to go to the bathroom. Conner found a partner to grind against and eventually the two lost each other in the ocean of bodies. Rain didn't care. He was euphoric, body moving to the beat of the music, lyrics long since fading from his mind. A pair of hands slipped against his hips, startling him back to reality. He elbowed the body far enough away for him to turn around, rage smeared across his face, ready to verbally assault the person holding him.

Rain squinted against the cascading lights, seeing a flash of navy and emerald. "Judd!" He screamed, delighted to find his boyfriend pressed up against him. Rain wrapped his forearms around the taller boy's neck and pulled him down to kiss him. Mouth still moving against the other's, he could feel Judd's hips, stock still against his. He slid his hands down Judd's body, gripping him tightly and slamming their hips together.

Rain pulled away to look at him. "You have to move with me," He yelled, laughing, "Otherwise it's no fun!"

They spent the next thirty minutes dancing, if you could call Rain grinding on Judd, 'dancing'. Rain had to thank the alcohol for his bold attitude. Sober Rain would be a blushing stuttering mess at this point, drunk Rain just egged Judd on. He wrapped an arm around Judd's waist, pressing their foreheads together as they swayed.

"How's my pretty boy doing?" Judd murmured, eyes gazing into his.

Rain grinned, nudging their noses together he kissed Judd chastely. "Pretty boy's having fun!"

Rain pouted when Judd pulled away from him. He let Judd pull them off the dance floor. They managed to find a quiet corner in the kitchen where Judd slid Rain onto the counter.

"Here," Judd snapped open a water bottle before holding it to Rain's lips. "Drink at least half."

Judd stood in front of him, an arm loosely wrapped around Rain's waist. Rain leaned into him, head pressed against Judd's collarbone after finishing half the water bottle.

Rain sighed, letting the world come back into focus. He took a moment to check in with Anna, Stella, and Connor.

Rain: I'm in the kitchen, Judd's with me. Everyone okay?

Anna: Stella and I are in the living room playing beer pong, all good.

Connor: Ran into your hot ass brother, Levi. Gonna go make out with him.

Rain grinned at Connor's message. He didn't mind that his friend was trying to get with his older brother. If anything, Rain thought they'd make a decent couple.

"I thought you were joking when you said you'd dance with me under the right circumstances."

Judd huffed, rubbing the drunk boy's back. "You're the only one I don't mind dancing with."

Rain pulled away, swinging his legs around Judd, pulling the green eyed boy towards him. In the light of the kitchen, Rain finally got a good look at his boyfriend. Judds usual all black outfit was covered by a leather trench coat. He wore his regular black combat boots and his face was covered in white paint. Eyes outlined in messy black eyeliner, lips tinted black.

"Are you wearing makeup?" Rain mused. He'd expected Judd to dress up as Micheal Myers and spend the night scaring kids. But he had to admit, he was into the make up.

"I'm wearing vengeance, Rain."

Rain giggled, leaning down to kiss him again. He was glad the make up didn't smear onto him.

"You look hot." Judd mumbled against his lips.

"Yeah?" Rain asked, sliding his fingers through the black and blue locks.

"Fuck, wanna rip this stupid ass suit off your body." Judd groaned, sliding his hands across Rain's thigh, grip like a vice. Rain let his head fall forward to press a searing kiss onto his boyfriend's lips.

Rain pulled away slightly. Swiping the tip of his tongue against Judd's lower lip he whispered. "Should've let me grind on you a bit longer."

With a grin, he nudged Judd away from him, sliding off the counter. "Wanna get outta here?"

They made a quick stop at the living room so Rain could hand off his keys to Stella before letting Judd drag him out to his green jeep.

Judd pulled open the back door and shoved Rain back onto the comforter and pillows. Rain giggled, the alcohol in his system making the world spin. Judd locked the door behind them before crawling on top of his boyfriend. "Fuck, you look hot in spandex." His hands went down to knead at Rain's ass. Rain groaned at the sensation, sliding his legs around Judd's hips.

Judd slotted his rough lips between Rain's, digging his fingers into the band of Rain's pants. Despite the autumn chill, Rain felt his body heat up as Judd moved, biting and kissing his way across his cheek and down his neck. Rain slid his palms under Judd's coat, pulling the clothing off and tossing it somewhere behind him.

Morgan appeared in a cloud of red smoke and glitter. "It's finally happening!"

Rain felt his heart speed up, breath heavy. Judd kept moving his hand until he reached his goal, pressing his palm at the area. Rain's breath caught in his throat, a whine escaping his lips.

"Yeah, yeah." Morgan dropped on all fours next to the boys, tail wagging. "Rut against him like a filthy little possum."

Rain instinctively pushed his hips up to meet Judd's hand. Rain tried hard not to give himself time to think, letting his body move on instinct. This was all very new to him, Rain had never been in this position with someone else before. Sure he had done things on his own but someone else touching him in such an intimate way set his senses in overdrive. It was an indescribable feeling.

"Mark him, mark him! Judd's our little rut toy now, no one else can ever have him!"

Rain dug his nails into the back of Judd's neck until he drew blood. He whined again as Judd got more aggressive, pushing two fingers towards the top, pressing and circling the area.

"Come on," Judd whispered, his breath caressing the shell of his ear. "Keep making those pretty sounds for me."

"Oh, that voice." Morgan moaned, hair standing on edge.

With his fingers still moving, dragging Rain to the edge, Judd used his other hand to cup the back of his neck and pull him up. Rain gasped at the sudden movement. In the blink of an eye Rain was sat between Judd's legs, his back pressed firmly against his chest. Judd reached up and gently cupped his neck, pushing up until Rain's head was rested on the his shoulder. Not only did this new position give Judd more access, it gave Rain a better ability to move his hips. So that's what he did. Rain thrust and gyrated and squirmed, whatever it took to stay pressed up against Judd's immaculate fingers. They worked in sync, Judd learning what made Rain tick, forcing new reactions out of him and Rain taking whatever he needed from Judd to keep feeling like he'd never felt before.

"Close," Rain gasped, eyes having fallen shut long ago.

"Yeah?" Judd's fingers squeezed at the sides of his neck, just enough to make Rain's lips tingle. He shrieked, his thighs slamming shut on Judd's hand. "Then be a good boy for me and keep your legs open."

Rain took a deep breath to compose himself before pulling his shaky legs apart. He was a good boy, after all.

Judd bit at Rain's cheekbone as a 'thank you' then sped up.

Morgan started vibrating at a higher frequency, shaking the jeep. "You're almost there!"

Rain let out a guttural moan, hands gouging red lines into Judd's arms. His skin tingled with every jolt of euphoria, body shaking as he chased that high. He was so close, close, close, closecloseclosecloseclosecl-

"FUCK!" Rain clamped down on Judd's hands, ankles locking, back arching, body shaking as he lets waves of bliss take him away.

Morgan screamed in euphoria, exploding in a bright light of confetti.

Judd let his arm lay limp between Rain's legs, letting the boy rut against it. In the meantime, he licked away the single tear sliding down Rain's cheek. "Good job, baby."

Rain whimpered, turning to press his nose into Judd's neck as the last waves of pleasure left him, his body sagging against Judd's chest, heaving as he tried to destabilize his breathing.

Judd leaned back until they were pressed against the mattress again, Rain still on top of him. "Not too much?" He asked, pulling his hand out from Rain's waistband and up to rest on his stomach.

"No." Rain mumbled, his eyes slowly falling shut.

A moment later his eyes flew open as he shrieked again. Judd had open palm smacked him over his leggings, sending a wave of pleasure and overstimulation through his body. This time, Judds hand stayed in place, resting innocently as he waited for Rain to stop shaking.

"You're mean." Rain huffed, trying to steady his breathing.

"It's what you love about me, baby."

Rain slid off his boyfriend, turning to his side to look at Judd. Judd let his arm fall open so he could keep Rains head cradled close to him. "Do you want me to...return the favor?"

"Do you want to?" The blue haired boy asked.

Rain nodded. "You're gonna have to talk me through it. I've never done this before."

Judd pulled him up into a filthy kiss, fingers clamped tightly around Rains jaw. "That's fucking hot."

As they continued to kiss, Rain swung a leg over Judd's hips, settling into his lap. He made quick work of taking apart Judd's belt and tossing it over his shoulder. The button and zipper were even easier to undo. Not sure what to do next, Rain slid his hands up, pressing into the ridges of Judd's abs.

Fuck, they were beautiful abs.

Bending his fingers, Rain dug his nails down through the crevices. Judd pulled away, head falling back as he groaned. "Fuck."

Rain grinned, excited at getting a reaction out of his boyfriend. "Yeah?" He dug one hand further down into his boxer's, letting his fingers glide across the thick appendage to pull it out.

"Fuck, your hands are soft." Judd mumbled, eyes closed as he sunk into the moment.

Rain couldn't help but stare, it took both his hands to cover the whole thing, fingertips just barely touching at the other end. He could feel the thick vein underneath throb as it grew, the tip poking out at the top. He gently moved his hands, thumbs pressing at the vein. Judd groaned, "Just like that baby."

Feeling more confident, Rain swiped his tongue across the opening, catching the clear liquid. As he went to pull back, Judd slid his hand through his curls, gripping it tightly to keep his head in place. "Put it in your mouth."

Rain did as he was told, letting the saliva build up on his tongue as he went lower and lower until it hit the back of his mouth before pulling back. He continued that motion for a time, letting himself adjust to the intrusion. He must have been doing something right because he could hear Judd's breathy groans, feel his finger tightening against around his curls until his scalp prickled in pain.

"Sure you're a virgin babe? Cause you suck cock like a whore." Judd held his head in place and started thrusting up. Hard.

Rain gagged, whining at the verbal and physical assault as saliva dribbled down the corners of his mouth. If anyone else had called him a whore he would have broken their jaw. But fuck it was hot when Judd did it. Rain's eyes fluttered up to Judd's and found him already watching. Judd grinned before jamming the tip of his cock into Rain's throat. Rain gagged, eyes watering at the pressure as he struggled to breath. "Fucking take it." He pressed further in until Rain swallowed the whole appendage, the metallic zipper of his jeans leaving a mark on Rain's chin.

Rain's throat bulged, tears dripping down his checks. He wrapped his arms around Judd's thighs in an attempt to fight the overstimulation. With pleading eyes, he urged Judd to move.

"Perfect little cock sleeve." Judd released his hair, eyes hazy with lust. He slipped his hands down to cup Rain's face, thumbs pressed to his cheeks, fingers pressed under his jaw. "Swallow like the good little slut you are."

Rain worked to tighten his throat as Judd started thrusting again, barely pulling out halfway each time. The lack of air gave him a head rush, making his eyes roll.

Judd grunted with each slow, deep thrust as he got closer to the edge. Rain focused on the bloody red lines he'd left on Judd's forearms. Rain didn't know how much longer he could last under the abuse but at the same time he never wanted this to end. He wanted Judd to use and abuse him to his hearts content. He wanted to make Judd bleed. It was fucked up but Rain didn't care.

Eventually, Judd sped up, wrapping his legs around Rain's back, trapping him completely on his cock. "Fuck, almost there baby, such a good hole."

A few more rough, desperate thrusts and Judd came down Rain's throat. "Fuuucckkkk."

Rain felt the thick cock twitch in his throat. He groaned swallowing as he tried to squeeze out every last drop. Judd dropped back, loose limbed and sated. Rain finally pulled away, gasping for air as the last of the spit and cum stained his chin.

This whole night had been a lot more than he'd expected but he wasn't complaining. Everything about Judd turned him on. The way he took control of his body, the way he degraded him, the way he didn't bother to treat him like a fragile doll just because he's a virgin. Rain didn't wanna think about what this said about him psychologically.

Judd pulled the boy down on top of him as they basked in the afterglow.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

"I cannot believe you guys ditched me for a college party!" Leah snapped

"You ditched us for Daniel first!" Anna snapped back.

Rain silently watched the two fight.

"Well I'm so sorry I decided to spend time with my boyfriend instead of dressing up in some silly kids costume!"

"Oh fuck you! Having a boyfriend doesn't make you more interesting or better than us!"

"I don't get what you're so upset about! Rain ditches us all the time to hang out with Judd. I should be the one who's angry, you guys left my party to go hang out with a bunch of frat bros!"

"Whoa!" Rain interjected "First of all, I never ditch our pre-planned hang outs. I just don't show up for any last minute stuff. Second of all, don't drag me into this."

Leah turned to him, jaw clenched. "You're the one who took them!"

Rain huffed, at the end of his limit. "Okay, you want the truth Leah?"

"That'd be nice." Leah crossed her arms, huffing.

"You've become one of those girls who revolve their entire life around their boyfriend. You changed your entire party because Daniel made one passing comment. You even ditched us in the group costume just because Daniel said so." Rain said. "I know you like him, and that's great. I'm happy you're getting out there but it's really shitty that you dropped us for a guy. And what were we supposed to do? You turned the party into some stuffy uptight gala shit."

"We got bored at your party so we found a better one." Anna nodded. "It's that simple."

"Fucking fine. You're right, I changed our plans because of Daniel and you're right." Leah sighed, shoulders sagging. "I just, really like him so much and I want him to like me."

Anna nodded, settling a hand onto Leah's shoulder "I get it, seriously I do. But Leah if you pretend to be someone else just to get Daniel to like you, then what happens once he does like you? Are you just going to pretend to be a fake person the entire time?"

"Oh god," Leah groaned "You're right! I'm so sorry guys."

"We're sorry too, regardless, we shouldn't have ditched you like that." Anna responded.

"Great, now can we please go?" Rain groaned.

Somehow, Leah had managed to catch Anna and Rain on the way out from school and locked them into a classroom. Rain had to watch the two argue in circles for a good thirty minutes and he was ready to go home.

The trio said their goodbyes and Rain started walking towards his house. Halfway home, a body ran into him.

"Nick?" Rain watched the boy run past him and into a backyard.

Rain followed and found the boy standing extremely close to a raging, barking pit-bull. "Nick, what the fuck!"

He managed to pull the boy away just as the backdoor to the house opened and out came Jay with a trash bag.

"Nick, Rain what the hell?" He ran over and started pulling at the chain on the dog to calm him down. "Featuring Ludacris will shred your balls." He managed to calm the dog down, giving Rain a chance to really look at Nick.

"Nick, what the fuck is going on with you? Are you okay?" Rain crouched down to try and get the thirteen year old to look him in the eyes.

"Nick! There you are!" Rain turned to see Jessie and another girl with dark curly hair and overalls come running. "We've been looking all over for you."

"Okay I'm going to ask one last time, what the fuck is going on?" Rain demanded

The girl in overalls started talking rapidly. "Nick and Jessie got high on marijuana candy and Nick is freaking out and Jessie feels super guilty."

"Missy!" Jessie snapped

"Oh, shit, you guys are stoned?" Jay smiled, "Oh! I haven't smoked pot since the third grade. It was fucking with my libido. I couldn't get hard..." He paused dramatically. "-enough."

Jessie rolled her eyes "ugh."

Rain grimaced but chose to ignore that. "Okay Nick I need you to take a deep breath okay? In through your nose," Rain inhaled lifting his head, hand pressed to Nick's chest to make sure he was following along. "Out through your mouth." They exhaled together.

"Alright, I'm assuming you're hungry at this point. What sounds good right now? Something sweet, spicy, or salty." Rain asked, "I usually prefer spicy when I'm high."

"Isn't there that off-brand ice cream place right around the corner?" Jessie asked.

"Ooh, Basket Roberts!" Nick grinned, he turned to Rain and looked at him, dead serious. "If you take me I'll give you a blowjob I swear."

Rain grimaced, "How about I buy you whatever you want if you promise not to give me a blowjob. Don't go near my junk dude."

"Deal!" Nick grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the backyard, the other three kids following them.

Rain used his free hand to pull out his phone and press the call button for Judd. He spoke while he waited for the call to connect. "Okay, I'm gonna have Judd come pick us up and we're gonna make sure you're sober before taking you home, okay?"

"Wait, wait." Jessie looked up at him, "Judd's coming to pick us up? Nick's older brother, Judd?"

Rain smirked, "Yeah, why? Do you have a problem with him?"

"No!" She yelled before clearing her throat and lowering her voice. "No problem at all, why would I have a problem with Judd?" She laughed nervously.

Rain turned back to his phone when he heard Judd speak. "The fuck do you want?"

"Hey," Rain grinned, looking down at his boyfriend's little brother who was still clutching his hand. "So I'm on my way to Basket Roberts with your brother and three of his friends. Wanna know why?"

He heard Judd huff. "What did that fuck nugget and his little posse do?"

"Nick and one of his friends got high and Nick panicked. Come pick us up?"

"Give me ten." Judd hung up before Rain could respond back.

"Alright," Rain opened the building door for the kids before following them in. "He'll be here in ten minutes so let's get your ice cream, Nick."

Nick gasped, leaning towards Missy before whispering. "Missy, is that Gina?"

Nick gripped her wrist as she responded. "Uh, yes?"

"It's not some weird bird statue, right?" He asked, making Rain chuckle.

"Whoa, you're really high."

"Should I go talk to her?"

Jessie rolled her eyes. "A hundred percent no."

Rain raised a brow at her attitude. As far as he knew, Jessie had a crush on Judd, so why was she upset about Nick wanting to talk to a girl he obviously likes.

Nick didn't hear her. "Okay, wish me luck."

Jessie rolled her eyes again as they watched him walk up to the counter and start talking to the thirteen year old employee.

"So," Rain asked "What's the deal between Gina and Nick?"

Missy was kind enough to answer his question. "Nick and Gina got along really well but Nick had a crush on Gina so he confessed even though she had a boyfriend and told her that they couldn't be friends if she didn't reciprocate his feelings."

"What the fuck?" Rain frowned.

"Yeah," Missy nodded, "I'm glad he's finally apologizing."

They watched as the two kids laughed at something Nick said.

"Nick seems okay now." Jay pointed to the couple.

Jessie frowned, arms crossed. "I'm glad he decided to be okay as soon as he saw Gina. Ugh. Take two boobs and call me in the morning."

Jessie walked out of the ice cream shop, Missy and Jay following. Rain followed them out the door. "Hey, are you sure you're good to walk home?" He asked

"I just want to get the fuck home." Jessie mumbled

"It was nice to meet you Rain, even though I don't know who you are or how you know Nick."

Rain smiled at Missy. "It was nice to meet you too, Missy."

Jay stayed behind for a moment while the two girls started their journey home. "You okay, Jay?"

Jay watched Jessie and Missy turn the corner before turning back to Rain. The kid almost body slammed him in an effort to hug him.

"Jay?" Rain asked, running a hand through his rough spiky hair.

The boy pulled away instantly, clearing his throat. "I just wanted to say thank you for talking to me at the wedding. It really helped."

Rain smiled. "Of course kid, I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to." He waved bye to Jay, watching him run after his friends.

He turned in time to watch Nick stumble out the door. He had his little hands pressed to his chest, breathing heavily. Rain dropped to his knees in front of the boy. "Whoa, Nick hey, what's wrong?"

"I think I'm for sure having a heart attack." He wheezed, voice cracking, tears forming in his eyes. "I wanna go to the hospital."

"You're not having a heart attack, I promise Nick." Rain started rubbing the boy's arms. "I called Judd, remember? We're gonna wait for him to come pick you up."

Just then, a hand wrapped in gauze dropped onto Nick's shoulder making him scream. The two looked up to find Judd standing behind Nick. "Oh, Judd. Jesus!"

Rain locked eyes with his boyfriend to get his attention. "He's on the verge of a panic attack."

Nick started talking rapidly "I ate a weed gummy with Jessi, and I think I'm having a heart attack."

Rain sighed, "Nick I told you-"

Judd cut him off, "You're not having a heart attack. You're just stoned. No one's ever died from pot."

Nick sighed. "Oh thank god."

Grabbing the back of his little brother's collar, he pulled him towards his car. "Come on, little pecker. I'll take you home."

They stopped in front of Judd's jeep. He unlocked it before making his way to the driver's seat.

"What do I tell mom and dad?" Nick asked, as Rain helped him get into the passenger seat.

Judd slammed the driver side door shut after climbing in. "Jack shit. We just gotta sober you up."

Rain tugged on the seatbelt after he buckled Nick in, making sure it sat securely across his chest. "Alright Nick, remember what I told you. Just breathe through it, you should come off it soon."

Rain went to close the door when Nick put a hand against the glass to keep it from shutting. "Wait, you're not coming with me?" Nick's voice cracked again.

"You'll be fine, Judd's with you."

"That's exactly why I'm worried." Nick hissed.

Rain rolled his eyes before firmly shutting the door and stepping back onto the sidewalk. He watched Judd start up the car as he wrapped his arms around his body. Rain preferred to walk to school most days so he wouldn't have to deal with morning traffic so like always, he hadn't taken his car today either. He was regretting it now because the sun had gone down and with it, the temperature dropped as well. Rain could feel the chill seep past his thin black long sleeve and burrow into his skin. His nose and cheeks had long since gone numb. He knew that by the time he made it home, the skin around his knuckles would turn black, just one step away from bleeding. Rain turned back the way he came from, ready to start walking when an abrupt car horn made him jump.

Judd had rolled the window down, "Get in, numb nuts."

Rain shook his head. "You need to get Nick home before your parents start to worry."

"I won't ask again, dumbass."

"But-" Rain winced when Judd slammed his palm on the car horn.

Rain tried again, "B-"

HONK

"Ju-"

HOOOOOOOONNNNKK

"OKAY!" Rain yelled over the horn.

Judd grinned, watching Rain climb into the back.

"How exactly are you gonna sober me up?" Nick asked as Rain clicked his seat belt into place.

"Ah, it's simple. I drive you home at 100 miles an hour."

"Does it have to be that fast?" Nick whined

"Yes!" Judd grinned, slipping Nick's seat belt off. "You can't wear a seat belt."

Judd slammed on the accelerator before either could respond. Nick started instantly screaming his head off, his hands gripping the door handle and dashboard. Rain, on the other hand, was having the time of his life, he loved fast cars. He started laughing as adrenaline shot through his body. Rain leaned forward to grip the back of Judd's seat. He pressed his forehead against the side of the seat, looking at the side mirror he managed to catch Judd's eyes.

Rain grinned. "Go faster!"

Judd smirked and picked up speed.

By the time they stopped Nick had successfully sobered and Rain was shaking from the adrenaline. The trio managed to make it to Nick's room before his parents came in.

"Where have you been, young man?!" Diane frowned, arms crossed over her chest.

Nick started to say. "I'm sorry mom I-"

"He sneezed into a wasp's nest." Judd cut him off. "Rain saw it happen, took him to the ER and then called me."

The parents turned to Rain, noticing him for the first time. "You're Leah's friend aren't you?"

Rain put on a charming, innocent smile that he kept reserved for parents. "Yes ma'am, I was walking home when I saw Nick get hurt. I took him straight to the ER and called Judd while Nick was with the doctor."

The parents turned to Nick, his mom tucking him in while speaking. "Oh, we are so glad you're okay, Nicky. You're lucky Judd and Rain were around when you sneezed into that wasp's nest."

Judd and Nick's dad turned to Judd and Rain. "What a good big brother. I'm mesmerized by you, Judd." he leaned towards Judd, intent on hugging him.

Judd easily pushed him away. "Nope."

His dad smiled regardless, "I get it. Not everyones a cuddle-bug like me."

"You are an even better friend, Rain." Rain let the man pull him into a tight hug. "If it weren't for your quick thinking, who knows where our poor Nicky would be right now."

"It's really no problem, Mr. Birch." Rain smiled.

"Oh please, call me Elliot." Rain nodded and the two parents walked out saying night to Nick.

Nick spoke once they were gone. "Hey Rain, Judd?"

"Yeah?" Judd asked.

Nick smiled at the two. "Thanks for taking care of me."

"It's not a problem, kiddo. Just be careful next time, okay?" Rain leaned over to give the boy a quick hug.

Rain said a quick good night to Elliot and Diane Birch before letting Judd walk him home, clasped hands swinging between them. Rain pulled Judd's gauze wrapped hand up to his lips and pressed a quick kiss. "Did you push the raccoons too hard again?"

Judd hummed in response, giving him the only answer he needed. Rain ran his thumb across the injury for the rest of their journey.

As they got closer to Rain's house, he realized that there were a couple of cars parked in front. "Huh, I think we have guests."

They walked to the end of his neighbor's fence before Judd stopped him. Rain pulled up to his tippy toes to press a quick kiss to Judd's lips. "Thanks for walking me home."

Judd just smirked. "I'll be waiting in your room."

Rain smiled, shaking his head as Judd slunk into the shadows attached to his home. Rain unlocked the front door and slowly stepped in. "Mom? Dad? I'm home, do we have guests?"

Rain walked towards the living room and found his entire family situated there. However, they weren't alone. Rain felt his hands shake as he realized who those unknown cars belonged to.

"Adrian, you remember my second in command, Francesco, and his son Lorenzo."

Rain silently nodded, taking in the older blonde-haired blue-eyed man and his eighteen year old blonde-haired green-eyed son. The last time he'd seen that look on his father's face, they'd had to flee Italy.

"It's good to see you again." Rain effortlessly switched to Italian.

"You as well, my boy." Francesco smiled warmly.

"They'll be staying with us for a while so I'll be moving Sofia into your room." His dad, Nikolai, nodded at the little girl who'd fallen asleep on Ronan.

Rain nodded, moving to take the girl from his brother. He mentally thanked his father's protective nature which kept him from putting Lorenzo in his room. Rain took Sofia into his arms before giving a nod in goodbye to the people in the room and booking it up the stairs.

Rain made sure to lock his door and press a chair under it for good measure. He had no idea what was going on but whatever it was must be incredibly serious if it brought Francesco to Brighton all the way from Italy.

He turned to find Judd silently dropping from the vent above his bed. Together they undid his tidy bed and managed to slip Sofia under the covers without waking her. Rain locked his window and closed the curtains before pulling Judd into the corner of his room.

"What the fuck's going on?" Judd whispered, leaning against Rain's dresser, arms crossed.

Rain sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He liked his simple life in Brighton, why the fuck did his family's past have to come in and ruin it? There was no way he could keep this all from Judd, but telling him the truth might scare him away for good. Worst of all, fucking Lorenzo had to come with his father. Rain didn't mind Francesco, in fact, more often than not, Francesco was like a second father to him. Lorenzo was another story entirely.

"I don't know exactly what's happening but I know it isn't good." Rain whispered back. "I need you to give me some time to figure all of this out."

Rain ran his hands over Judd's biceps in a soothing manner. "No more sneaking into my room and no more impromptu dates. At least not until whatever the hell this is-" he gestured towards the door. "-is over."

Judd didn't reply, instead he continued to look at Rain, a frown set on his lips.

Rain squeezed his eyes shut for a moment in order to keep from losing control over his emotions. "Judd, please, I need to know you trust me."

"Are you in danger?" Judd unwrapped his arms, moving his hands to cradle Rain's cheeks. "Don't lie to me."

Rain closed his eyes, leaning into the warmth of Judd's hands. "I honestly don't know."

Moments later, Rain felt Judd's cold, smooth lips on his. Judd pulled away, nudging their noses together. "Hey," Rain's dark brown eyes locked onto Judd's emerald ones. "I trust you and I'll wait until you're ready to tell me the truth."

Judd leaned back and moved his hands to his jeans pocket. He pulled out a pitch black tactical knife with Judd's familiar 'A' insignia. "Keep this with you."

Rain flipped the knife open, getting a feel for the weight before closing it back up. He gripped it tightly, pressing his fisted hand against his sternum.

Rain watched Judd make his way out of his window, a lump forming in his throat. "Judd, I-"

I love you.

For the life of him, Rain couldn't get the words out. It was too soon.

Wasn't it?

Rain had only known Judd for about two months and they'd only been dating for three weeks. This wasn't some cliche teen romance where the protagonists fell in love at first sight. To Rain, even staying those words after six months of dating seemed too soon. So why in the hell did saying 'I love you' to Judd Birch feel so right?

Judd pulled Rain into one last, deep kiss. "I'll wait for you."

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Chapter Text

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

It took a week before Rain had the opportunity to talk to his father in private.

"Hey dad." Rain knocked on the office door, opening slightly to peer in.

His dad looked up, taking his eyes off the papers in front of him before gesturing Rain in. "Come in, Adrian."

Rain locked the door behind him before settling into the chair across from his dad. "I was wondering if I could stay over at Leah's tonight? We have this school project due in a couple of days and we haven't really been able to get our schedules to line up."

It was a total lie. He just wanted to spend some time with Judd.

In the time since his fathers friend had arrived, his family had been tightly wound. Something was going on, Rain had a hunch but his father refused to tell him anything in an effort to protect him. Some days it really pissed him off how much the men in his family hovered over him like he was incapable of taking care of himself. He needed to get out of the house before he suffocated.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"Please dad?" Rain pouted for good measure. "She lives just a couple streets away and I'll be back first thing in the morning!"

Nikolai sighed, "Alright, I expect a phone call every hour until you go to bed."

Rain eagerly nodded. "I swear, thanks dad!"

He made it to the door before the anxiety and guilt got to him. There's a lot about himself that he kept from his family. They didn't know about the illegal stuff he did, they didn't know that their perfect, innocent son was just a facade he kept up to ignore that fact that there was something deeply wrong with him. They didn't know about the deep visceral rage that stayed buried deep in his heart. He wasn't sure he'd ever tell them about those parts of himself but he did want them to know him better.

Rain turned back to Nikolai. "I lied."

His father looked at him, silently telling him to continue. Rain sat back down. "Leah's brother and I have been dating for about a month now."

Nikolai only hummed in response. "That's why I wanted to stay over at Leah's tonight." Rain couldn't help but pick at the inside of his cheek with his teeth. Rain knew his father loved him but the thought of him being disappointed in his son's life choices made his stomach ache.

Nikolai shuffled away the papers on his desk, moving his laptop in front of him. After a few minutes of tapping Nikolai turned his laptop, Rain inhaled at the picture of Judd.

"Judson Marcus Birch." Of course his father already knew. "Eighteen years old, constantly on the verge of expulsion due to missed school days, yet somehow has had straight A's since the eighth grade."

Rain hadn't known that last part.

"Three counts of vandalism, four counts of arson, seven counts of theft of public property."

Rain winced as his father's monotonous, clinical voice. "No plans for college. No life goals."

Damn it.

Rain had really been hoping to embellish Judd's life before introducing him to his family.

"Okay, so he's not perfect." Rain reasoned. "But I really like him."

"Sweetheart," His father leaned back in his chair, taking his glasses off so he could rub his face in frustration. "He has an army of raccoons."

"Who he uses as employees for his catering business!" Rain reasoned.

"And!" Rain continued before his father could respond back. "He makes all the food for his catering business so he could be a chef if he wanted."

"But he doesn't." Nikolai stated. "Because he has no goals or aspirations. No drive to do anything worthwhile."

"You said that not everything we do in life has to have some big impact on our life."

"I still stand by that." Nikolai stood up, rounding the desk so he could stand in front of Rain. Arms crossed in quiet judgement. "But this boy has no life goals. What does he plan on doing once he graduates high school? Is he going to live with his parents for the rest of his life? Or is he banking on your career to pay for whatever he wants?"

"Dad," Rain sighed. "We've only been dating for a month. I really don't think he's expecting me to fund his whole life."

"Maybe not now, but what about six months from now? One year from now? Six years from now?" Nikolai sighed. "Sweetheart, I know you. You've never been one for casual dating. You're dating this boy because you see a future with him."

Rain couldn't help the warmth in his cheeks. "I really like him, dad."

"I know you do, sweetheart." Nikolai nodded, watching his son for a moment. Adrian had always been a quiet kid, always reserved, always watching. Of all their children, Anastasia had worried about him the most growing up. At one point she'd been convinced he was mute, it was only after a visit to the doctor did they learn that Adrian knew how to speak he simply chose not too.

His wife worried that their son cared far too much about others and not enough for himself, that he'd spend his life miserable with far too many convoluted emotions that he'd never find someone to love him. She was sure that out of everyone in their family, Adrian was the most fragile one. Nikolai worried too, just for different reasons.

He knew better. He saw the wrath brimming just below the surface in his son's eyes. He saw the way Adrian's face would go stone cold dead when he thought no one was watching. Nikolai watched his son learn to fake a smile at all the right times. Out of his four children, Adrian was the most like him and Nikolai would never forgive himself for it.

"You can stay at the Birches."

Rain's head snapped up to look at his father. "Really? Just like that?"

"Well it's clear you like him and unless he drags you down with him, I have no reason to say no. Besides, if anyone could understand our family, it would be Judd." Nikolai laughed. "If anything, he'll be excited about the whole thing."

"Now," Nikolai started, making his way back to his chair. He leaned over and started rummaging through the desk drawers. "You can stay the night and I know you have dance class later in the day so if Judd's parents are alright with it, you can stay the day as well."

He sat up and threw a box the size of his palm at Rain who caught it easily. Rain gasped, tossing the box on the desk before burying his face in his hands. "Oh my god, dad!"

"I just want you to be safe."

Rain looked up at his dad, face and neck dusted in pink. "We're not doing anything like that, I swear!"

Nikolai nodded. "I believe you, but at some point you will and I'd rather not put your safety in the hands of an idiot teenage boy, so keep the condoms."

Rain grabbed the box before making his way to the door. "Great, thanks, bye dad."

As he slid through the door, he heard his dad speak up again. "I will also be setting up a gynecologist appointment, get you on birth control."

"Bye, dad!" Rain slammed the door behind for good measure.

Rain made quick work of texting both Leah and Judd as he walked into his room to pack. An hour later found Rain standing in front of the red door to the Birch house, a black duffel back in hand and his dark blue school bag slung over his shoulder.

Rain instinctively smiled as Mrs. Birch opened the door. "Hello Mrs. Birch!"

"Rain, honey!" Mrs. Birch smiled, pulling the door wide open. "Come on in!"

"Thank you so much for letting me stay over."

"Oh it's no problem at all." Rain followed, Mrs. Birch up the stairs before stopping at Judd's bedroom door. "Now you'll have to room with Judd, we don't allow Leah to have boys in her room overnight."

"Of course," Rain nodded, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "I completely understand."

Mrs. Birch knocked on Judd's door. "Judd, Leah's friend is here. He'll be staying in your room tonight."

Judd's voice came through the door. "Fuck off."

Mrs. Birch sighed in irritation. Rain quickly intervened. "I'll just go in and set my stuff down. Leah said she won't be home for a while."

Mrs. Birch smiled, laying a hand on his shoulder to give it a quick squeeze. "Dinner will be ready in an hour. How does turkey meatloaf and a spinach and quinoa salad sound?"

"Sounds perfect!" Rain nodded. "I'm excited to try it."

Rain waited for Mrs. Birch to start walking down the stairs before knocking on Judd's door again. "Hey, your mom's gone. Can you open the door now?"

"It's open."

Rain opened the door to find Judd sitting at his desk, back turned to him. He closed the door behind him, setting his bags by the door before sitting down on Judd's bed. "Hey."

Judd hummed in response, not bothering to turn and face Rain. The tension in the atmosphere and Judd's obvious inattention made Rain's confidence falter. "So, got any plans today or are we just gonna spend the night making out?" Rain joked.

"I'm busy," Judd grouched, "Fuck off."

Rain was used to Judd's normal gruff exterior but this felt different. Judd seemed genuinely annoyed with his existence. Rain felt his lungs constrict. "What is going on with you? You asked me to be here, why are you being an asshole right now?"

Judd turned, pointing a red pen at him. "I'm a gaping asshole, always have been." The green eyed boy turned back to the notebook on his desk. "If you can't deal with it, then get the fuck out, bitch."

Rain clenched his fingers into fists. Taking a deep breath he spoke, "Okay, clearly you're going through something. So I'll stay for dinner, hang out with Leah for a bit before leaving so your parents don't get suspicious." Rain stood up making his way through the door. "Call me when you're ready to use your big boy words."

Rain greeted Mr. Birch in the kitchen. "Hi, Mr. Birch!" Rain smiled, leaning over the kitchen counter. "I was wondering if you needed any help with dinner? Leah isn't home yet so I figure we'll start our project after dinner."

"Oh you're so sweet, Rain." Mr. Birch set a cutting board and bowl filled with spinach in front of Rain. "Why don't you cut the spinach while I make the lemon dressing."

Mr. Birch waved a spoon at him, smiling. "And remember, you can call me Elliot."

Rain nodded, agreeing and the two got to work. Elliot helped pass the time by asking him questions about his family. Rain was happy to respond, telling the man all he could about his parents and siblings and their interests.

"So," Elliot pulled out the meatloaf as Rain set a trivet on the counter. "What do you like to do in your free time? What ignites that spark of passion in your life?"

Rain smiled, plating the meatloaf slices as Elliot cut. "I like to dance."

"Really?" Together, Elliot and Rain took the set dinner plates to the dinner table. Elliot called out to let the family know that dinner was ready before turning his attention back to Rain. "I never would have guessed."

Rain smiled, letting Elliot guide him to the seat on his right. "Yeah," He nodded as the rest of the family came in. Rain made the effort to smile and greet Leah and Mrs. Birch before continuing. "I don't like to tell people because then they ask me to perform for them."

"Well shit," Leah said "I didn't know you danced."

"I've been taking hiphop, ballet, and contemporary classes since I was about five years old." Rain nodded. Watching as Leah took the seat across from him, Mrs. Birch on her left. Judd sat down next to Rain, Nick on his other side. "I recently joined a dance team, we have a few performances coming up during winter break."

"That sounds awesome," Leah said, "You have to tell me when tickets go on sale."

Rain sent her a quick thumbs up and the group got to eating.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Elliot spoke up. "What's wrong, Nicky? You've barely touched your quinoa and it's your favorite of the ancient grains."

Rain set his utensils down at the sound of Nick's upset voice. "Nothing, I'm fine."

He tried to look around Judd and check on Nick but Judd kept invading his eye line. Rain sighed, glaring at Judd for a moment before turning back to his food.

"I bet he's worried about his small dick." Judd spoke, stabbing at his slice of meatloaf with a butter knife.

"What the- How'd he-" Nick dropped his fork, looking up at Judd. "Mom, Leah, women don't really care about size, right? We're past that as a culture, right?"

Rain choked slightly, he brought a hand up to cover his smile, head down, eyes wide as he stared at his food. From the corner of his eye he could see Judd smirk at his reaction.

"Of course!" Mrs. Birch immediately reassured him. "Women want a loving, caring partner." she set a loving hand on her husband's hand, their wedding bands clinking together. "You know what your father always says. It's not the size of the wave."

Elliot easily finished the sentence. "It's how well I perform cunnilingus on your mother."

Rain shoved a mouthful of quinoa into his mouth before he could properly start laughing. Never in his life had he heard anyone speak so candidly about sex, not even from sex education teachers.

Mrs. Birch giggled, "It's true."

Judd stopped scraping at his plate long enough to side eye Nick. Grinning, he said. "That's because his tongue is bigger than his dick."

"Relax, Nick," Leah laughed, seeing her younger brother so uncomfortable, "Guys care way more about penis size than girls do."

"Exactly." Mrs. Birch nodded at Nick, "For us, it's not a problem."

"Good. Good, good-"

Rain picked up his fork, poking at the last of his meatloaf, "You know," He looked at Leah as innocently as possible. "Unless it's a...problem."

Leah snorted in laughter before leaning over to fish bump Rain, who gladly reciprocated, grinning proudly. "Yeah, like a micro-penis or something?" Leah agreed.

"Micro-penis? Oh, god, what's that?" Nick asked.

Elliot gladly answered. "It's a very rare condition where your penis is medically small."

Rain felt a shiver run up his spine, raising the hairs on the back of his neck as Judd laughed at his brother. "You have a medically small penis."

Rain smiled hearing Judd laugh. At least he was in a better mood than he had been earlier.

After dinner, Rain attempted to help Elliot and Mrs. Birch clean up as the three Birch kids stampeded up the stairs. "Are you sure I can't help, Mrs. Birch? Elliot?" Rain watched as Mrs. Birch wiped down the table, Elliot had started on the dishes.

"That's very sweet of you to offer, honey." Mrs. Birch smiled, "but we've got this covered. Why don't you head up and get started on that history project with Leah?"

Rain nodded. "Okay."

Rain made it up the stairs, intent on making it to Leah's room when he heard a hiss. "Psst."

He looked around for a moment, eyes finally stopping at the family portrait hanging on the wall. Rain raised an eyebrow when Judd's eyes blinked. "Are you in the wall?" He asked

Judd only chuckled in response.

"Alright," Rain shrugged. "I'm gonna go hang out with Leah, have fun with your stalking."

"Wait, wait. I'm sorry, please."

Rain snorted. "I'm not gonna accept your apology until you say it face to face."

Rain watched silently as the eyes disappeared from the portrait. He listened to the silent rustling and thudding coming from the wall until Judd opened his bedroom door. Judd silently held a hand out, standing in the doorway. Rain slid his hand into the green eyed boys, letting Judd pull him into the room, door shut firmly behind him.

"I'm sorry," Judd honestly said, hand still holding Rain's. "I was upset about something and I took it out on you."

Rain nodded, he'd already known that. "This is the second time you've done this. How many more times do you plan on taking your shitty mood out on me?" He pulled away from Judd and moved to sit on the bed.

"I don't mean too," Judd moved to sit next to Rain. "I swear I don't. It's just instinct, when I feel a strong emotion I just..."

"Push people away." Rain easily continued for him. "Especially the people who you know will do anything in their power to help you, whether you want the help or not."

Judd stayed silent for a moment, looking up at Rain. "How did you..."

Rain smiled, softly. "I've noticed, you actively push your dad away. But your mom you just ignore, like she doesn't exist."

"I didn't understand it at first, but I get it now." Rain wrapped his fingers around Judd's calloused hand. "Your dad was literally built on love, he's made of only hearts and cuddles and affection and acceptance. He'd give up his own life if it meant saving yours. And that scares you."

Judd kept his gaze on their locked hand. "When I was eleven, I tried to kill myself."

Rain tilted his head back to keep any prospective tears from slipping out. He'd suspected from the moment Judd had opened up about Jason. That kind of visceral pain never really leaves. But hearing that admission out loud terrified him.

"My dad put me on suicide watch, tried to get himself committed because he didn't want me to get lonely."

Rain couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping. "I can't even imagine what type of things Elliot must have said to get himself committed."

Judd shrugged, nuzzling his cheek into the top of Rain's head. "I don't remember. They had me doped up to keep me from trying again."

"Is that what it was?" Rain asked softly. "Today? Did the bad thoughts get to you?"

Judd snorted, "The opposite actually. I just realized, it's been harder to stay angry at the world lately. I've always wanted the world to burn, I want to be the one to set it on fire. But now, my heart's just not in it and that's terrifying."

Rain hummed, thoughtful. "Well, if you don't want to set the world on fire, I'll do it for you. You can just be the pretty boy that holds the lighter for me."

"No the fuck I won't."

Rain giggled at Judds indignant voice.

He hummed, taking a moment to let the warmth settle in the air around them before speaking again. "I'm sorry you felt that way, still feel that way sometimes. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me. Regardless though, the next time you're upset about something, just tell me. You don't have to give specifics just say 'hey I'm feeling shitty, leave me alone.' And I'll leave you alone. Okay?"

Judd nodded, "Okay."

Rain nodded, "Good you're forgiven then." He leaned over aiming to kiss Judd when a revving noise and Nick's screams startled Rain back. "Oh fuck."

Rain jogged out of the room. He threw open the door to Nick's room and promptly screamed. Nick had decided to vacuum his dick, the force of the suction throwing him around like an inflatable tube man used for advertising. Rain pressed his palms against his eyes and turned around, trying to leave when he bumped into a solid body.

He heard Judd laugh. "Fuck nugget's getting his little dinger sucked."

Rain pulled away his hands from his face to lightly smack Judd's chest. "It's not funny!" He giggled.

Elliot passed them, rushing in to unplug the vacuum. "Oh dear."

Rain and Judd watched as Elliot tried to pull the vacuum away from Nick's body. "Come on Nicky, let's get you to the hospital."

Rain waited till the two disappeared down the stairs before he started laughing. "Oh god, poor Nick."

Rain let Judd pull him back into his room. The two quickly changed into their pajamas. Rain in an oversized orange hoodie and legging, Judd in black pajama bottoms and a gray short-sleeve. "So," Rain said. "Nick has a micro-penis," He bounced back onto the bed. "Your dad definitely has a micro-penis. You just stole everything huh?" He joked.

Judd chuckled, an evil look in his eyes. Rain yelped when his boyfriend shoved him down. Judd swung his legs around Rain, caging him in. Pressing their hips together, Judd cupped his face. "Fuck yeah I did, wanna feel it?"

Rain violently shook his head, hands clasping Judd's wrists. His cheeks burned in embarrassment. "Nope, no, I'm good."

He'd been drunk enough on halloween that it had suppressed his embarrassment and nervousness.

Judd chuckled, rolling his hips. "Nah, I think you want to feel my dick."

Rain covered his face with his sleeve covered hands. His hips instinctively followed Judd's, craving the shocking tingles that shot across his body. Judd slid his hands down, gripping Rain's waist, he pulled him up, letting his body fall forward so they were pressed together completely. Rain moved his arms to wrap around Judd's head. He couldn't help but whimper as Judd's lips grazed at his neck. Rain let Judd guide their hips together. His arms falling around his shoulders, one hand going down to grip the back of Judd's shirt, twisting the material in his fist, the other hand going up to grip his hair.

They spent the next couple of minutes rutting against each other. The only sounds coming from Rain's whimpers and whines.

"Fuck" Judd groaned into his ear, grip tightening. They pushed against each other one, two, and for the last time. Rain's legs quivered, insides clenching. His head dipped back, eyes closed as he basked in the euphoria. Judd's body dropped onto his, knocking a breath out of Rain.

He laughed, pressing a kiss to Judd's temple, fingers grazing lazily at the blue and black locks. "Doing alright down there?" He giggled.

"Fucking christ," Judd groaned, hot breath fanning at Rains jaw. "Can't believe I just came in my pants like a fucking middle schooler."

"You started it." Rain laughed. "I just didn't stop you."

Judd groaned, rolling off Rain and the bed. "Fuck, I gotta change."

Rain sat up, faking indignation. "What about me?"

"What," Judd called from the bathroom. "You didn't bring another pair of panties."

"Ew," Rain wrinkled his nose. "Don't say panties."

Judd smirked, exiting the bathroom in a different set of pajama bottoms. "Panties."

Rain threw a pillow, hitting Judd dead in the face.

Judd laughed, "I left some clothes in the bathroom, go change."

Rain bounced off the bed, making his way in the bathroom. He laughed at the pair of boxers on the counter. He made quick work of cleaning and changing before walking back out.

Rain belly flopped onto the bed, curling onto his side, he smiled up at Judd. "Wanna watch my favorite movie of all time?"

Judd raised a brow, "As long as it's not some mainstream mushy love fest shit."

"Well, it's not exactly mushy." Rain leaned over, rummaging through his backpack to pull out a laptop. "But it's definitely about love."

"That's cliche as hell." Judd snorted, watching Rain pull up a bootleg site. "I expected so much better from you."

Rain queued up 'Practical Magic' before turning on his side and burrowing under the covers. "Hey, if you wanna date me you're gonna have to like all the different sides of me." He tapped Judd's nose with his index finger.

Judd slipped in behind him, arm slinging over Rain's waist. Cold fingers sliding under Rain's sweater, pressing at his stomach.

"Fuck," Rain groaned, "Your hands are freezing."

"Fine, guess I'll make this sacrifice out of the goodness of my heart." Judd playfully bit at Rain's ear.

Rain squealed, swatting at his boyfriend. "Trust me, you'll like it."

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Judd silently watched. Eyes following every dip and curve of Rain's lightly freckled face. The boy had fallen asleep halfway through the admittedly, good movie he'd put on. Judd had let it play through, not wanting to break the peaceful night.

Rain scared Judd. Plain and simple.

Judd's goal in life had always been simple. He wanted to set the world on fire. Wanted to tear it down to the studs and rebuild.

Judd spared a glance at his apathy ogre. His thick, gray flesh marred with deep dark lines. The cracks started appearing the day he met Rain. With every smile and laugh, this boy broke down his world view little by little. With every comforting hand and understanding caress Rain made him realize that maybe some things did matter.

Rain made Judd want to live in this fucked up shit hole society. Judd wanted to watch his siblings go on to fulfill their dreams. He wanted to be there in the audience when Leah starred in her first broadway show, when Nick did whatever the hell he wanted to do with his life. He even wanted to watch them fall in love and get married. A notion that made him gag in disgust. Judd wanted to watch Rain graduate high school and go onto college. He wanted to bring Rain flowers before every one of his dance performances. Even his parents' grossly callous way of loving each other seemed endearing at times, now.

"You terrify me." Judd murmured, thumb going up to graze at Rain's cheekbones. "Everything about you is bright and loving."

Rain squirmed, mouth wide open, arms curled up against his chest, his knees pressed against Judd's thighs, Rain mumbled incoherently before settling with a soft sigh.

Judd smiled softly, pushing stray black curls away from Rain's face. Rain frowned, pouting while mumbling, "Noooo," he whined, "not the macaroni turtle."

Judd couldn't help laughing at Rain's incoherent mumbling. "Fucking christ."

Judd pressed his nose to Rain's forehead, inhaling the scent of Frankincense.

I love you.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Rain woke up at six am.

He should have expected it. He'd always had a hard time sleeping in places other than his own bed. It was a miracle he'd fallen asleep as easily as he did to begin with.

Rain rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he looked out the window at the graying sky. He laid there for another hour trying to fall back asleep before realizing it was futile. He sat up slowly, making sure not to jostle Judd.

Rain smiled at the slack jawed look on his boyfriend's face. Judd's hair had curled at the edges, mussed over the night. It made him wonder if Judd's hair wasn't naturally straight but wavy or curled. He tried to imagine curled black and blue locks and found that he rather liked the idea.

Rain made his way to the window, he looked around at the peaceful neighborhood. The sun finally peaking over the suburban houses. He leaned against the window frame, basking in the crisp, chilly air. He'd always preferred the cold, the throbbing heat of the summer gave him migraines.

Rain startled, seeing movement at the corner of his eye. Focusing his gaze in that direction, he realized it was Lorenzo.

Shit.

He glared at the blonde haired man, annoyed at the arrogant smirk on his face. He made his way out to the backyard as quickly and quietly as he could. Leaving a crack in the sliding glass door Rain pulled the hood of his sweater up.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Rain hissing in Italian.

Lorenzo hummed, pausing momentarily at the site of Rain in a pair of boxers that clearly weren't his. He responded back in Italian. "Guard duty." He shrugged, still smirking.

"Bullshit," Rain snapped. "We both know this isn't your fucking job."

"You've been avoiding me since I've arrived."

"For good reason."

"Are we still not done with this behavior?" Lorenzo rolled his eyes, huffing. "You'll be eighteen soon, it's time to stop this childish behavior. Just come home."

"Is this your pathetic way of telling me that you're my home?" Rain laughed incredulously "You egotistical fuck."

Lorenzo stepped forward making Rain's hand slip into his sweater pocket, thumbing at the switchblade. "For fucks sake, would you just-"

"No!" Rain snapped, voice filled with gravel. "You don't get to pretend like the last past didn't fucking happen." His teeth slid against each other, like steel against steel. "You were my best friend and you fucking abandoned me when I needed you the most."

"Why? Huh?" Rain switched back to English. He took a bold step forward, looking the tall man in the eyes. "Because apparently, you were in love with me? You don't fucking love me, you love the person I was."

Lorenzo stayed silent, not the slightest look of shame on his face.

Rain soldiered on. "You had the goddamn audacity to give me an ultimatum. You tried to fucking gaslight me into going back to being a girl just so you could live out your shitty high school sweetheart fantasy."

Rain sighed, relaxing his jaw. "I am trans and that is never going to change." He was tired, so goddamn tired. "You and I will never go back to the way we were. And honestly," His throat closed, he felt like he was suffocating. "That breaks my heart. Because you were my best. fucking. friend."

Rain stepped back, ready to go back into the house and pretend this conversation never happened. "Just leave me alone man. Take the easy way out, just like last time."

He turned to move when a hand gripped at his wrist, violently pulling him back. In the blink of an eye, Rain snapped the switchblade open and slid it across Lorenzo's forearm.

"Fuck!" The blonde hissed, releasing Rain's wrist to cradle his arm against his chest. Blood trickled across Lorenzo's skin, he looked up in shock at Rain.

"You forget who my father is." Rain hissed in Italian, the blade in his hand dripping minuscule pools of blood.

"Next time?" Rain smiled innocently. "I'll slit your throat open."

He slipped through the glass door, locking it with a firm snap. Walking back into Judd's room, he found the green eyed boy leaning against the still open window, arms crossed, frown on his face. He'd heard the whole conversation, Rain realized.

"So," Judd started, nonchalant. "He's a gaping asshole."

"No," Rain's voice faltered. "You're a gaping asshole. He's a transphobic fuck."

Rain wanted to cry. He'd never let himself mourn the loss of his relationship with Lorenzo. Their fathers had worked together for decades, their mother's got along easily. Rain and Lorenzo had been born within three months of each other, best friends from the moment they met. Growing up, the two were attached at the hip, almost literally. Lorenzo went nowhere without Rain and Rain refused to step out the door without Lorenzo's hand in his. Their mothers used to joke about them being soulmates, being high school sweethearts, getting married as soon as they turned eighteen. Rain had tried to live up to that expectation as they entered high school. But no matter how hard he tried, Rain could never make himself love Lorenzo the way the blonde wanted him too.

Then, Rain, stupidly innocent, had decided to come out to his best friend. He'd never seen the blonde so angry. Lorenzo spent two months trying to change Rain's mind before reaching his limit. He'd been the one to out Rain to the entire student body. According to the blonde, seeing their peers' reaction was supposed to make Rain realize that he'd made a mistake and that realization was supposed to 'turn' him back into a girl.

He'd never told his parents who'd been the one to out him. Some misguided part of Rain hoped he could still salvage his friendship with Lorenzo so he'd kept his mouth shut when his father asked him how the school found out. More than that, Rain knew that if he'd told his dad the truth, he'd maliciously destroy not only Lorenzo but Francesco as well. Lorenzo deserved every heinous thing his father would do to him, but Francesco didn't. The older man had always loved Rain like his own child and had taken his transition in stride. Hell, he'd even helped Rain pick out his new name. Rain knew that more than anything, knowing what his son had done would destroy their relationship forever. Rain refused to hurt Francesco.

"Shit." Judd muttered, swiftly pulling Rain into his arms.

Rain took in a shaky breath, tears dripping down his cheeks before melting into Judd's shirt. "He was my best friend." His knees buckled.

Judd easily caught him. Gripping Rain's thighs, he pulled the boy into a cradle before moving them onto the bed. Judd settled the sniffling boy into his lap, rocking him softly. The green eyed boy tightened his embrace around the heartbroken boy, wordlessly comforting him as best he could.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

The rest of the morning passed by easily. Breakfast with the Birches passed as smoothly as dinner had with Rain insisting on helping clean up. Elliot, Mrs. Birch, and Leah left sometime between breakfast and lunch, leaving only Rain, Judd, and Nick at home. Judd disappeared sometime around noon as Rain got ready for dance practice.

Rain stood near the stairs in a long loose red shirt, leggings and white Puma's.

"Judd!" He looked up, staring at the ceiling he called out. "I'll be back in an hour!"

"Bye, fuckface." Judd called out from inside the walls.

"Oh!" Nick startled from his place on the couch. He stumbled a bit while trying to turn around. "H-hi, Rain!" Nick stuttered for a moment. "I thought you were staying for the day, where are you going?"

Rain smiled, moving to lean his arms on the back of the couch. "I have dance practice. Our performance is in about a month and a half so we've upped practice to once a day."

"Oh yeah!" Nick smiled up at him. "What Christmas song did you guys choose? I personally like Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree but Jingle Bells is a classic."

Rain huffed, laughing. "I'm pretty sure Rockin' is a classic too. Regardless, everyone's doing the Nutcracker since it's Christmas so we decided to do Don Quixote instead."

"Cool, cool, cool," Nick nodded, "Where are you performing?"

"At the Rye Conservatory, we have a couple of matinees set during Winter Break." Rain ruffled Nick's hair then moved towards the door. "I gotta get going kid, see you soon."

"O-okay," Nick stuttered, "I'll, uh, I'll see you later!" He waved a bit too aggressively as Rain passed through the front door.

Rain left the house feeling a bit confused at how his conversation with Nick had gone. They weren't close exactly, but Rain would like to think they were friends. So why did Nick stutter through a simple conversation with him?

He arrived at the studio to find it in complete chaos. Trevor Lee, one of the lead dancers, sat on the middle of the floor, curled over his knee, eyes filled with tears while the rest of the team buzzed around him.

"What the fuck happened?" Rain asked, sliding to his knees next to Trevor

"Trevor twisted his knee." Marcus huffed, pressing a drippy ice pack to her knee.

"Shit," Rain frowned, he pulled a water bottle out of his bag. Uncapping it, he pressed the opening to Trevor's lips letting him take a couple of sips before setting it aside.

He moved to rub his back soothingly. "It's gonna be okay Trevor, take a steady breath."

"Ambulance should be here soon," Alex Martin frowned. "I called your parents too, they'll meet us at the hospital okay?"

Trevor nodded weakly as Alex pushed back his dark hair.

Alex and Trevor both got their start from Marcus' Elite Emerald ballet dancers back in high school. It's where they'd gotten their confidence to apply to the Arts Academy in the city where they were currently enrolled in. Despite having other commitments regarding ballet at their own school, the two always managed to stay in touch with Marcus and always made the effort in performing whenever Marcus needed them. They were the main leads in the upcoming recital.

Five minutes later, the group watched as the EMT's set Trevor on a stretcher and whisked him away into the ambulance. Alex slid in right next to her boyfriend before they drove off.

The group of dancers left behind solemnly trudged back into the dance room. No one felt bold enough to ask the obvious question, both because they didn't want to seem heartless but also because they were afraid to hear the answer.

Marcus rubbed the side of his face for a moment, sighing. "Take five everybody." He left the room swiftly, his assistant, Amy McCallan, trailing behind him.

"Fuck," Sarah Andrews groaned. Laying flat on her back next to Rain, she blew a blonde wisp of hair out of her face. "I hope he's okay."

"There's no way he'll heal in time, right?" Josh Lambert questioned crouching next to the two. "Like even a minor sprain takes like, six weeks to heal."

"Someone's gonna have to take his place," Rain reasoned, "There's no way we can cancel this close to performance week."

Rain, along with the rest of the backup dancers spent the next ten minutes discussing the situation between themselves until, finally, Marcus and Amy entered the room again.

"Guys, listen up." Amy clapped her hands twice to get everyone's attention.

The group quickly settled and she spoke again. "Marcus and I have come to a decision."

Marcus nodded, stepping forward. "We'll need a new male lead," he stated. "Now, Amy and I already have someone in mind but we'd like to hear your thoughts."

Josh was the first to speak up. "I vote for Rain."

Fucking what.

"What?" Rain swiveled to face him, flabbergasted.

"I second that!" Sarah smiled, raising her hand.

What the fuck is happening?

Rain watched as the rest of the group spoke in various agreeing tones.

"Well," Amy laughed. "We're glad to hear that."

Marcus smiled, nodding. "Because we came to the same conclusion."

Rain suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed. "Whoa, stop. Freeze. Time out. I just barely joined the group and I'm not even aiming to become a dancer." He reasoned.

"Why not Nicola or Harley?" He asked, looking at the mentioned two. "You're applying to an arts college wouldn't it be better if one of you took my place?"

Nicola and Harley shook their heads.

"Can't dude," Nicola said. "We start auditioning for college after New Years."

"Yeah," Harely nodded, "It's why we took backup positions for this recital. So we can focus on our audition pieces."

"You may be new to the group but you've been doing this a lot longer than most of us." Maisie, a short statured, curly haired girl piped up. "You catch on the fastest out of all of us. You'd be the only one who can do this in the weeks we have left."

Rain looked around the group waiting for someone to disagree but all he found were hopeful faces.

He couldn't say no now, could he?

"Okay." He nodded.

Everyone cheered, spirits instantly lifted, the raw determination of a dancer instantly ignited through the group. Dance music penetrated the air as everyone dispersed to resume practice.

"Perfect!" Marcus grinned.

Amy was quick to pull Rain up on his feet. "You'll work with us privately until you've got the routine down. Then we can start running through the whole thing."

God, would he be able to do this?

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Four hours later found Rain stumbling through the Birches' front door. He groaned, letting his body flop forward onto the hardwood floor, his legs half out the door. His body ached. The walk back had been agonizing. Every step felt like knives against his heels and the balls of his feet had gone numb by the end of practice. The rest of his body wasn't fairing much better, each breath felt like liquid fire in his veins.

He closed his eyes, ready to let the cool floor lull him to sleep when he felt footsteps reverberate under his body.

"Holy shit," Nick crouched down casting a shadow over his prone body. "Are you okay? You were supposed to be back hours ago? What happened?"

Rain could only groan in response.

"Hey, fuck face, get up." Rain strained his eyes to look up at Judd without moving his face.

"I can't," He whined, "My body's gone numb."

He felt something sharp poke at his bicep. "Did you just poke me with a fucking knife?"

"Thought you were numb?" Judd chuckled.

The green eyed boy slowly flipped him over. "The fuck happened to you?"

Rain blinked slowly, "One of our lead dancers sprained his knee, I got his part."

"No shit?" Judd grinned, helping the fatigued boy sit up.

"That's awesome!" Nick exclaimed, "You're the best dancer I know, you totally deserve it!"

Rain snorted, "You know other dancers?"

Judd silently moved between the two, dipping down to pick Rain up, he set the boy on the couch.

"I've always been a lover of dancing." Nick trailed after them, attempting to sound suave. "Y'know, my mom put me in ballet when I was a kid."

Judd chuckled darkly. "You started crying two minutes in."

"Uh, well, yeah," Nick stumbled for a moment. "That's just because I'm in touch with my emotions."

Nick leaned against the arm of the couch by Rain's head. "Y'know, cause I'm a mature, grown man."

Rain snorted, amused. Middle schoolers are so weird. "Alright Mr. Mature Man, can you get my bag? I dropped it on the lawn."

Rain waited for Nick to disappear out the door before slowly sitting up. Judd sat down next to him.

"Congratulations." Judd leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Rain turned to Judd, cheeks warming. "Did you just kiss my cheek?" He smirked. "You're getting soft."

"Fuck you, eat shit." Judd snapped "See if I ever kiss you again."

Rain laughed, kissing Judd on the lips. "You're a fucking liar."

"Here you go." Nick dropped the bag next to Rain.

"Thanks, Nick." Rain unzipped the bag. Mindlessly removing his shoes and socks, he pressed gel blister pads across the balls of his feet. He pulled out two sticky heat packs, pressed them onto his heels then wrapped them, sticking the ends of the athletic tape around his ankles to keep everything in place. He slid off the couch. Pressing his back against the soft rug he set his calves atop the couch cushions.

"Uh," Nick started, "What are you doing?"

"Elevating my legs," Rain responded, pressing his hand against his diaphragm, breathing slowly and deeply. "I just spent four hours on my feet, they're basically filled with lead at this point. I'm gonna have to take a hot bath when I get home."

"Do you want, like, a massage or something," Nick asked. "Would that help?"

"That's very sweet of you," Rain smiled, "But I'm good, I just have to lay like this for a bit."

"Trying to feel him up, dickless perv?"

"Don't be an ass," Rain smacked Judd's side with his calf. "Nick is just being nice."

Rain playfully glared at Judd. "You could learn a thing or two from him."

He smirked seeing Nick's smug smile. "Yeah, Judd, learn from me."

Judd ignored Nick's comment, eyes staring down at Rain. He grabbed Rain's ankle, pulling the leg onto his lap. "Last night wasn't nice enough for you? I can be nicer if you want."

Rain choked, eyes wide, his mouth dropped open in shock and excitement. "Judd!" He let out a disbelieving laugh.

Nick sat on the arm of the couch, confused as he watched the two interact. He'd never seen Judd this open, much less willing to keep a conversation with anyone. The fact that he'd not only picked up Rain to bring him onto the couch, but he'd also brought Rain's leg onto his lap left Nick stunned. As far as Nick knew, Judd had always hated touch, both giving and receiving, even by their parents. The comment about last night left him even more confused. Before he could ask what the hell was going on, Leah walked into the room.

Rain smiled, waving at Leah. "Hey Leah!"

"Hey!" Leah smiled, sitting down next to Rain, legs tucked under her body. "How was dance practice?"

"Our male lead sprained his knee so I'm taking over for him."

"Holy shit! That's amazing!"

Judd started subtly pressing the pads of his fingers against Rain's ankle, massaging the area. With his free hand he turned on the tv, flipping through the channels.

"I'm excited and stressed at the same time. The only time I've been a lead dancer was back in the fifth grade for a school performance." Rain admitted "This is such a bigger scale and I only have like a month and a half to perfect everything."

"You're gonna do great," Leah reassured, patting his arm. "You wouldn't have gotten the part if your instructors didn't think you could do it."

"But," she continued, "I totally get what you mean. Our performance of The Cruise-ible is on Friday and every time I feel like I've performed perfectly I end up finding some part that I could have done better at."

Rain nodded, "Yeah, you end up nitpicking and agonizing over every small thing and it just makes you more and more anxious."

"The whole idea of 'practice makes perfect' is bullshit honestly. There's always some area that can be improved." Leah said, "If you keep agonizing over it you'll never be able to appreciate how far you've come. At the end of the day, all you can do is your best."

"Yeah you're right," Rain pulled his leg away from Judd, moving to sit up next to Leah. His back pressed against the couch, slightly leaning to the side into Judds legs. "I just don't want to disappoint anyone, y'know? A lot of my team members are planning on becoming professional dancers and we managed to get some scouting agents to come see us. If I fuck up, it'll ruin their chances too."

Rain felt a hand come down to flick his forehead, hard. "Ow." He rubbed against the injury, glaring up at Judd.

"Stop being a little bitch." Judd showed no remorse. "You're gonna do great. Now shut up, I'm trying to watch this chick get skinned."

Rain pouted, nudging Judds knee with his shoulder before turning back to a giggling Leah.

"So," he started, in a clear attempt at annoying Judd. "How are things going with you and Mr. Sanctimonious?"

Leah was more than happy to play along. She rolled her eyes, huffing playfully. "Daniel," she emphasized. "And I are doing pretty good so far. He's a lot of fun to hang out with and I love his passion for theatre."

"Has he asked you out yet?" Rain asked

"Not yet, but I think he will after the play."

Rain grinned, "oh you mean after your dramatic and passionate on stage kiss?"

Leah shrugged nonchalantly, "Maybe."

He gasped scandalously, "You're going to seduce him with your lips?" Rain dramatically leaned back onto Leah, the back of his hand pressed against his forehead. "Oh! How romantic!"

"For fucks sake." Judd huffed, switching the tv off he left the living room.

The two friends laughed watching him go up the stairs. "Well, I'd say that's mission accomplished." Rain glanced at his phone, "I should get going too."

Leah called out as he took his first step up the stairs. "You're coming to my after party right?"

"Are you kidding?" Rain grinned. "Not only am I coming to the after party, I'm coming to the play also. I wanna be able to tearfully recall your first kiss with Daniel in my speech at your wedding."

Rain cackled at the embarrassed choking noise Leah made as he jogged up the stairs.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Chapter Text

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Rain: Okay someone remind me why we volunteered for this shadow day shit

Stella: Because it’ll be fun! Middle schoolers are basically little ducklings, it’ll be fun having a duck just toddle around following us for the day!

Connor: Damn I thought it was because you’re on the student council and used our friendship to guilt us into having little gremlins follow us around for the day

Stella: I acknowledge this and love you for letting me manipulate our friendship in such a way

Leah: I cant believe I got stuck with Nick. He’s literally my brother! I see him all the time why does he have to follow me around school now too

Rain: I always knew friendship was a scam, should’ve never let y'all get close to me smh

Stella: You love us, shut up 😘

Connor: At least you didn’t get stuck with a Bilzerian

Connor: Val and Kurt are literal psychopaths. They’re not even integrated into society enough to be called sociopaths

Rain: Jay isn’t that bad, he’s just a bit verbally aggressive. Val and Kurt are all bark and zero bite all you gotta do is look at them with the rage of a thousand suns and they'll back off.

Stella: At least I managed to get an already established friend group for us. Imagine how awkward as fuck it would be at lunch if our gremlins didn’t know each other or hated each other.

Connor: Valid

Rain: shit that reminds me

Rain: They don’t know about Judd and I dating and I don’t want them too, if he comes up in convo we need a nickname for him

Leah: Judd = Ponytail killer. Done.

Anna: LMFAOOOO this was the best time to open the chat

Connor: Pft

Rain: Leah! Noooo 😂

Rain: If Judd was the ponytail killer I’d be dead by now, I’ve put my hair up in a half pony around him before

Anna: Pocket knife?

Rain: Nice, I like that

Stella: I wanna know why you don’t want the middle schoolers to know? You’re family I get and Judd’s not emotionally competent enough to tell his parents that he’s dating someone

Rain: For one, middle schoolers are worse gossips than even high schoolers and this town is small enough that eventually it would get back to my family

Rain: For two, I wouldn’t have minded but I’m like 100% sure Jessie, Anna’s middle schooler, has a deep ass crush on Judd. I’d rather not get my eyes clawed out by a hormonal gremlin

Leah: Oh shit, foreal?

Rain: Yeah lmao, She gets hella awkward and stutters around him, it’s pretty obvious

Rain: I’m pretty sure she stole his shirt too at some point

Connor: Very middle school vibes of her

Anna: I bet Judd loves that 😂

Rain: It’s honestly painful watching them interact. Jessie just rambles and Judd just stands there and stares at her before walking away while she’s talking

Rain: At one point she deadass said “Hey Judder Butter, whats melting”

Anna: Dear holy heaven

Leah: Oh my god

Connor: 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻

Stella: Christ I just got second hand embarrassment from reading that

Rain: Imagine how I felt having to watch it happen!

Leah: Wait, how did I not know about this, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jessie interact with Judd?

Rain: This was back at that child wedding, she asked him to dance with her. But! That’s not even the worst of it

Stella: oh boy

Rain: Judd said he doesn’t dance with kids so this girl, in her infinite wisdom, hunches over and goes “I’m sixty years old, I was there when Moses was president!”

Connor: That’s so painfully embarrassing I can’t even laugh

Stella: Oh my godddd this poor girl

Anna: Id kms from embarrassment if id done that

Rain: I started laughing right then and there, felt so bad 😣

Leah: It’s worse cause it’s Judd, if it was a nicer guy he might have just put her out of her misery and let her down gently

Anna: aw damn, think he’ll be mean about it?

Leah: No, he’ll just let her suffer

Rain: Yeah, he kinda just ignores her

Connor: I think the only good thing is that he’s not actively messing with her

Anna: Is he coming to school tomorrow? Cause I wanna see that shit irl ngl

Leah: Idk Judd just does his own thing

Rain: Nah he’s not coming, something about having to teach his raccoons something new? Idk what he has to teach them, they’re already great caterers.

Stella: Speaking of tomorrow, we have some stuff to go over

Anna: wdym

Stella is typing….

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Six fifteen am found Rain huddled with his friends at the front entrance of the school. He was dressed in black cargo pants and boots. The group of five, including all of the other volunteers, were dressed in the same white shirt. Shadow Duck scrawled across the front of the shirt in blue, the silhouette of a flying duck right under it. Across the back of the shirts were the names of each individual volunteer, respectfully.

“Alright, volunteers!” Sasha Lincard, President of Student Council, clapped her hands to get the crowd's attention. Her voice, loud and clear. “Our ducklings should be arriving any minute now.”

“Please make sure to engage with your duckling, we want them to have an informative and positive experience today!” Slightly bouncing on her toes, she gave a shiny smile. “Ask them about their interests, hopes, and worries in regards to high school. We want them to feel comfortable with the prospect of entering high school and the best way to do that is to alleviate any anxieties and uncertainties they might have.”

Rain turned at the sound of heavy engines to see multiple school buses driving their way.

“And here they come!” Sasha gestured to the buses “We’ll check in the children and call out your name accordingly.”

Sasha and the rest of the Student Council moved into a line, clipboards and pens in hand. “Please be patient, we have the entirety of the eighth grade to get through.”

“Fuck,” Connor grouched, hands stuffed in his pockets. “Why the hell did they want us here so early if they wouldn’t need us till later?”

Rain sighed, jumping back, he slid onto the ledge of the brick wall. “I think it just makes it easier if we’re here earlier, otherwise we’d all be arriving at different times.”

Rain, Conner, and Anna watched silently as the cacophony of middle schoolers spilled out of the buses, their teachers trying to keep them contained and moving. Little by little the volunteer group separated, paired with their middle schoolers. Connor was the first to be called out of their group.

“Godspeed, my dude.” Rain gave Connor a quick fist bump before he walked off to meet Jay.

Minutes later, Anna was called. “I’m ready to meet Judd’s little stalker.” Rain snorted at Anna’s jovial words.

Rain didn’t have to wait long before Stella called him over. “Rain,” Stella gestured to a brown haired boy. He was dressed in plain blue jeans and converse. His shirt was the same as every middle schoolers, Shadow Duckling written in the same font, a baby duck silhouette under it. “This is Andrew Glouberman.” She walked away right after, swiftly calling the next name.

“Hey, Andrew,” Rain smiled warmly at the nervous looking boy. “I’m Rain, it’s nice to meet you.”

“H-hi” Andrew waved nervously.

“So,” Rain started, “how are you feeling about today? Excited?”

Rain knew the kid was more anxious than excited but he asked regardless. By the end of the day, he wanted Andrew to feel more comfortable.

“Not at all.” Andrew answered honestly. “I didn’t even want to come today but Nick, that’s my best friend by the way, dragged me along.”

“You’re not excited about high school?”

Andrew shook his head vigorously. “High school is so much more serious than middle school and then I’m gonna graduate and then I’ll be off to college and then I’m gonna have to get a dead end job that makes me miserable for the rest of my life and makes me want to move to Florida!”

Rain laughed in amazement. This kid's anxiety was next level. “Okay, first, you don’t have to move to Florida unless you want to. And second, high school really isn’t that different from middle school, it’s just an extra year.”

“Alright everyone!” Rain turned towards Sasha’s voice, next to her stood a petite brown haired girl. “It’s time to get to class! Middle schoolers, have a fun day! High schoolers, you know what’s being expected of you.”

Rain snorted at Sasha’s tone towards the end. He’d only interacted with her a few times but it was easily obvious how determined and responsible Sasha was. She made a good President one day.

“Alright, Andrew,” Rain walked past the front doors and towards his locker, Andrew easily keeping in step with him. He easily opened his locker, slipping in all of his items, leaving only a binder and two textbooks in his hands. “Do you want to keep your bag with you or do you wanna put it in my locker?”

Andrew’s hands tightened around the bag straps. “I think I’d like to keep my backpack.”

Rain nodded, slamming his locker shut, “That’s fine, just tell me if you change your mind.”

He guided them up the stairs, “The first and most important rule of high school, always stay to the right when walking.”

“Like cars on the road?” Andrew asked as they made it to the top.

“Exactly,” Rain nodded, “Most students don’t watch where they’re going so the bigger ones will definitely run right into you, whether they mean to or not.”

Rain’s point was proven when a group of footballers almost ran over Andrew, too busy conversing with each other. Rain pulled the shorter boy out of their way almost instinctively. “See?” he grinned down at the boy. “Us short kids gotta learn to weave through the crowd.”

Rain was actually pretty average, standing at a 5’6, but constantly being surrounded by 6’0+ men made him look small. Andrew was even shorter than him so he didn’t see the problem with calling both of them shorter, especially if it would make the brunette feel better.

“Why is everyone so tall?” Andrew whined, looking up and around as they continued their trek “It’s like a school full of giants.”

“Don’t worry,” Rain laughed, “You’ll hit your second growth spurt soon.”

Rain opened the door to his first class, letting Andrew ahead of him. The brunette immediately slipped behind him once he closed the door. His Mythology class had already filled up with students, meaning they were all staring at the two when they walked in. Rain ignored them and moved towards his seat. He gestured to the recently made empty desk to his left. The staff had been made aware of Shadow Day weeks ago and had been given the names of each volunteer so the teachers moved their class around enough to make sure each duckling sat with their duck.

“Now that everyone’s here,” Mr. Dupont mocked a glare at Rain, making him grin. Mr. Dupont was a student favorite when it came to teachers. He readily treated them like equals and never shied away from speaking casually with everyone. He didn’t care what his student’s did as long as they got their assignments done and didn’t get too loud. “We’ll start working on our crime reports today. You’re allowed to go to the library if you need to or feel free to use a laptop or phone if you’ve brought one. Remember to follow the rubric handed to you yesterday and get creative with it.”

The class easily dispersed. Rain moved his desk to sit against Andrew’s. “You’re writing crime reports?”

“Fake crime reports.” Rain laughed at the confused look on Andrew’s face.

“Andrew!” Rain turned to see Missy and Stella standing near their desks.

“Missy! What are you doing here?” Andrew asked

Rain stood up, helping Stella move two empty desks, they made a makeshift table. Rain moved to sit across from Andrew. Stella settled next to him, Missy in the seat across from her, next to Andrew.

“Well, according to the guidelines, we’re allowed to sit in on any classes even if our high schooler doesn’t have them. So I spent all of yesterday looking through the classes offered and asked Stella if we could come to a Mythology class.”

“Which of course was easy enough,” Stella rested her chin on her open palm, elbow against the table. “Turns out, Missy’s really interested in the AP classes. And since I know you’re in 4 AP classes, I decided to have us sit in with you.”

“Don’t you have your own classes?” Rain huffed

“Nah, I got exempt,” she grinned, “Perks of being a StuCo member.”

“So what are we doing?” Missy asked, “I’m so excited I’ve always found myths to be a fascinating subject!”

Rain smiled at Missy’s enthusiastic squeal. “Basically we have to write up a crime report about being attacked by a supernatural creature from the civilians point of view.”

“Oh we should do, Amarok!” Missy said excitedly “He's a giant wolf found in Inuit mythology and said to hunt in the barrens of the Arctic!”

Rain has already completed the rough draft of the assignment yesterday, deciding to do the report on a succubus. He didn’t tell Missy that, seeing how excited she was. “How about you and Andrew make your own report? If you finish it in time, Dupont will be more than happy to take a look at it.”

Stella and Missy ended up following them to Rain’s AP English Lit and AP Psychology class. Both were boring in their own way. English was spent reading through and analyzing George Orwell’s 1984 in a debate circle, something that both Missy and Andrew actively participated in. Psych was a test day, his teacher had been more than happy to give the two middle schoolers the test too. She’d been even more surprised when the two had managed to get a C considering neither knew anything about psychology.

The group parted ways after. Stella took Missy to run some Student Council errands leaving Rain and Andrew to attend AP Anatomy on their own. It was a study day in Anatomy, plastic bone parts and full skeletal models scattered around the room.

“Wow,” Andrew said, leaning over to look at Rain’s notes. A plastic femur in his hand that he swung around aimlessly. “Did you draw that?” He pointed, referring to the skeletal drawing of the left and right hand.

“Yup,” Rain nodded. “It helps me memorize the parts and positions.”

“Wow, I wish I could draw like that.” Andrew said. “Even my lines come out tilted.”

Rain laughed, “I’m not much of an artist either, I can only draw anatomical stuff.”

He uncapped the idle black marker in his hand. “Here, lemme show you.”

Rain grabbed Andrew’s right hand and started accurately marking the phalanges, carpals, and metacarpals.

Thirty minutes later Rain dragged Andrew out to the parking lot.

“Where are we going?” Andrew asked, letting Rain weave him through the crowd of students. “Isn’t it lunch time?”

Rain stopped at Connor’s big black Chevrolet Colorado. “My friends and I eat out on Friday’s.”

“So,” Rain started, “How are you feeling about high school so far?”

Andrew tried to kick a pebble, almost tripping. “It’s not so different from middle school, just a lot more crowded.”

“Feeling a little less anxious?” Rain asked.

“Yes actually,” Andrew nodded, “I found psychology to be the most interesting class, even though all we did was take a test. The questions were very thought provoking.”

“Yeah?” Rain smiled, “Well I’m glad you liked it. That was a college level course and you and Missy managed to do better than most students actually taking the class.”

Rain smiled, noticing the rest of their friends making their way to the truck. “Hey, guys!” He waved.

Andrew left his side at the blink of an eye, running to his friends. “Guys! Look at what Rain did to my hands!”

Rain laughed watching the brunette proudly show off his marked hands to the rest of his friends.

“Alright!” Stella said, motioning to the back of the truck, “Boys in the back and girls in the front.”

Connor easily tossed his keys to Stella before moving to help Rain unhook the trunk door. The two hustled the rest of the boys up into it before following up after them.

“So,” Connor started, settling across from Rain. “I need your help.”

Rain slouched down to keep the wind out of his eyes as Stella started driving. “With what?”

“I have a date,” Conner smiled nervously “With a certain someone's older brother.”

Rain couldn’t stop the grin on his face. “Levi finally asked you out?!”

“Actually,” Conner grinned, “Levi is a big chicken. So I asked him out.”

“Nice!” Rain high-fived Conner. “So what do you need help with?”

“Where should I take him?.” Conner groaned, slumping his head back, looking up at the clear blue sky. “I don’t know much about him so I don’t really know where he’d want to go.”

“Hm.” Rain nodded, “Levi is pretty chill to be honest, he’s down for anything.”

“Rain!” Conner whined, “You're supposed to be helping me!”

Rain couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, alright. Just take him to your favorite places. We’re still relatively new here and Levi hasn’t seen much of Westchester since he spends most of his time in the city on campus.”

“Oh there’s this Italian restaurant I really like!” Conner chewed at the inside of his cheek. “It's pretty expensive too.”

Rain shook his head, grimacing just a bit. “Maybe something a bit more casual? Somewhere where you guys can talk but also do stuff. Levi likes expensive restaurants but it might be hard to get to know each other if you're at a sophisticated place with suits and all that.”

“Oh!” Conner grinned. “What about the Ice Palace Festival!”

“The what now?”

“It’s basically a winter carnival type thing.” Conner explained “There’s carnival games and food and they have a bunch of shows. It’s a lot of fun!”

“That’s perfect! Levi is gonna love it.”

Conner pulled his phone out. “I’m gonna get the tickets now.”

“Oh,” Rain turned, jumping slightly, not having realized how closely Nick was sitting. “Are you guys talking about the Ice Palace Festival?”

“Yeah,” Rain nodded, “I was just helping Conner figure out where to take his date.”

“The Ice Palace is a pretty cool place for first dates,” Nick nodded, smiling “Hey, you haven’t gone yet have you? Being new in town and all.”

Rain shook his head

“W-well, I was planning on going this week.” Nick said “I don't know, maybe we can go together or something.” The small brunette scratched at the back of his neck. “Not to brag but I’m amazing at carnival games, last year I won all the big teddy bears.”

Rain snorted, amused. “Ice Palace sounds pretty cool but I’ll probably take my little sister, we can meet up there if you want?”

Nick smiled, his face lighting up. “Okay yeah! Cool! I’ll, uh, I’ll see you there!”

The rest of lunch went by easily. Stella pulled the truck through a fast food drive, ordering a ton of food for everyone to pick through. She drove them back to school, parking in the very corner of the parking lot. Rain opened the trunk door so the girls could climb in the back with the boys.

“So,” Stella picked at her burrito. “How’s everyone feeling about high school next year?”

“I can’t fucking wait,” Rain grimaced, watching Jay inhale a dozen tacos, barely chewing. “I’m gonna bone down so hard!”

Rain snorted as Stella flinched in shock. “Uhh, I meant more about high school itself? Like the classes and stuff.”

Rain didn’t understand how Jay got away with talking and acting the way that he does at school but he knew that high school was gonna be a real wake up call for the middle schooler. Most high school teachers loved the power they had over students. Rain’s history teacher had given some kid detention just because he was late to class, even though he had a doctor's note. The way American teachers act has been like whiplash but he’s learning to get used to it.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Leah redeemed herself with the after party for her play. She’d managed to find a decent middle ground from her back to school party and the halloween party.

That said, Rain found that he wasn’t the biggest fan of theater kids. They found a way to dramatize everything they could get their hands on. He’d given up on hanging out with them an hour into the party when a simple game of jenga turned into a game of improv about the instability of human emotions.

Rain snuck away into the kitchen to get something to drink when he, quite literally, bumped into Nick.

“Hey! I’m walking here!”

Rain had to grab the boy to keep him from tumbling over. “Shit, are you okay?” He could tell the boy was drunk.

“Rain!” The boy exclaimed, “I have to tell you a secret!”

Nick pulled Rain down by his arms. Rain let the boy lean close to his ear not knowing what to expect.

Nick burped in his ear.

Rain quickly pulled away frowning, “Ew, Nick, what the fuck!”

The drunk middle schooler simply laughed, stumbling towards the kitchen island, and poured a bottle of pink substance into this red cup.

Despite being drunk himself, Rain was focused enough to realize that Nick had had too much to drink and needed to be cut off. He quickly pulled the cup away from the boy.

“Hey what the fuck!”

“No, you're done.” Rain pushed the boy into a chair. “Stay here, I’m gonna go find Leah.”

Rain checked the backyard, living room, and kitchen before deciding that Leah was probably upstairs. He went up and into Leah’s room. “Leah?” He checked the bathroom in her room before realizing that she wasn’t in her room either.

Rain was almost out of the room when he heard something fall behind him in a dull thud. He groaned mentally when he realized it came from Leah’s closet. She’d be pissed if some drunk teens had snuck into her room to make out and fuck.

He walked, silently, towards the door before sliding it open violently.

Andrew and Missy screamed at the doors opening.

“What the fuck are you two doing in here? Leah’s going to kill you!”

“We- uh, we were just-”

“Well you see the thing is-”

Rain didn’t get the chance to hear whatever excuse they were gonna come up with before he heard both Leah and Daniel in the hallway. “Shit!”

He shoved himself into the closet with Missy and Andrew closing the door as quickly and quietly as possible. The three watched silently as Leah and Daniel walked into the room, Leah leaning back on her bed as Daniel started to kiss her.

“Whoa, that’s Leah.” Andrew said as he peaked through the blinds. “And who’s that guy?”

“I don’t know.” Missy moved to stand next to him. “The only person I met was the pineapple.”

Rain couldn’t help but mentally groan at the situation he’d found himself in.

This is what happens when you’re nice to people.

Rain groaned, he should have just left Nick to do what he wanted, then he wouldn’t be stuck in a closet about to be forced to watch his friend make out and possibly have sex with her crush.

“We should get out of here.” Missy whispered

“If we walk out now, it’ll be totally weird.” Andrew reasoned

“We’re not fucking going out there,” Rain hissed, “we’re just gonna have to sit here and suffer.”

“Okay well let's just not watch.”

“Okay let's not watch.”

Rain rolled his eyes at the two thirteen year olds when they instantly glued themselves to the door, clearly watching Leah and Daniel. Rain decided to focus his attention on Leah's clothes instead, cataloging all the different colors and styles he found.

“Wait,” Andrew tugged on Rain’s arm. “What’s he doing?”

“None of our business, you little perv.” Rain said, continuing to count all the green colored tops he could find.

“Daniel, stop!”

Leah’s voice caught his attention. She’s telling him to stop, why is she telling him to stop?

Rain stood up, leaning over the kids to look into the room. He saw that Daniel had ended up on the bed with Leah standing over him. She didn’t look the least bit happy.

“What?” Daniel asked, frowning.

“I think I made it clear,” Leah crossed her arms, taking a step away from him. “I didn’t want to do that.”

Daniel looked her up and down before saying, “God, you’re really tangled in knots sexually, huh?”

“Excuse me?” Leah snapped

“Why are you being so weird?” Daniel frowned

“Wow! Okay, you know what!” Leah snapped, “This is my room, but I’m leaving.”

“I have blue balls,” Daniel called after her, “that’s assault!”

Rain waited until he’d left the room before opening the door. “Okay what the hell happened?”

“He was pushing Leah's head down.” Andrew said

Missy continued where he left off.  “He was trying to get her to do something she did not want to do.”

“He pushed her head down?” Rain squinted, looking down at the two, jaw clenched tight.

He huffed when they nodded, “Alright, come on.”

Rain knew exactly what he was gonna do and he knew exactly where to get the equipment he needed.

“Uh…” Andrew watched nervously from the door frame, watching Rain walk into Judds room. “That’s Judds room, he doesn’t like it when people go into his room.”

Rain snorted, riffling through the duffle bag his boyfriend kept under his bed. “Haven’t you heard, Andrew?” He shook a red spray can at Missy and Andrew. “I’m special. Judd’s not gonna care that I was in his room.”

The two thirteen year olds groaned nervously. “Oh boy, you took his spray can, I really think you should put that back. Nick’s brother is really scary.”

"The fuck are you doing?" Andrew and Missy yelped, jumping a clear foot off the ground. They cowered at the entrance as Judd towered over them.

Andrew immediately folded. "It was all him!" He frantically pointed at Rain. "He touched your stuff! Kill him, not us!"

Judd watched the boy for a moment before shoving him against the door and walking in.

Rain just grinned, flipping the spray can in his hand. "Gonna do some vandalism, wanna come?"

"You?" Judd grinned, pulling an axe out from behind the big red stop sign hung on the wall. "Little Mr. Perfect, committing illegal activities?"

Rain hummed, slowly striding towards Judd. It had become an inside joke between them. Rain played the innocent, happy, respectful boy in front of everyone else but Judd knew the chaos Rain could bring. He leaned up, nose just inches away from Judds. "Guess you've corrupted me."

"W-what's happening?" Andrew broke the moment.

Rain sighed. “Don’t worry about it.”

He managed to make it out the front door without anyone noticing him. Rain instantly clocked Daniels white car across the street and made his way towards it. He was so focused on his goal he didn't realize Judd had followed him out.

“The fuck are you doing?”

Rain yelped, aiming the can towards the voice, he sprayed blindly.

“Stop!” He stopped, wincing when he realized it was just Judd.

“What the fuck, Rain?” The green eyed boy snapped, looking down at his shirt half drenched in red paint.

“Sorry baby,” Rain moved to wipe away the splatter of red from the side of Judd’s face. “You startled me. Plus my reflexes are shit when I'm drunk.”

“You have a drinking problem.” Judd shook his head

“You have a smoking problem.” Rain countered.

“I repeat, what the fuck are you doing with my red fucking spray can.”

“Oh!” Rain smiled, “I’m going to tag Daniel's car because he’s a bitch ass head pusher.”

Rain shook the can, getting ready to start his masterpiece. “What are you doing?”

Judd swung the axe in his hand. “I’m gonna slash a bunch of tires.” He laughed in a way that would have made anyone else fear him. Rain found it to be adorable.

“Well, we’d better get to work then.”

Judd started with Daniels' car before moving onto the other cars.

“Don’t touch the cars around my house!” Rain called out, watching Judd walk down the street.

“Fuck off!” Judd yelled, not bothering to look back at Rain.

“I’m serious Judd!”

This time the blue haired boy turned around. “Don’t fucking tell me what to do!” He flipped off his boyfriend while continuing to walk away backwards.

Rain rolled his eyes, shrugging. He’d warned him, if Judd got caught and kidnapped by his father that was on him.

Rain started off by spraying the side windows completely so Daniel wouldn’t be able to look out of them. Then, across the front windshield he wrote out ‘head pusher’. On the side doors he wrote ‘incel’. Although that wasn’t completely true, Daniel loved to brag and spread rumors about his sexual conquests. However, Rain knew that Daniel would go out of his way to try and convince everyone that he wasn’t a virgin and that insistence would work against him. Rain moved to the back windshield, unsure of what to do with it.

“Hey Judd!” He called out, not sure where he’d disappeared to.

“What?” As if summoned, Judd came to stand next to him.

“What should I put on the back windshield?”

Judd looked at the window for a split second before taking the can from Rain.

Rain laughed, watching Judd paint a dick on it. “Really?”

“It’s a fucking classic.” Judd stated.

“Alright Mr. Classic c’mon.” Rain pulled Judd back towards the house so they could sit on the stairs leading up to the front door.

“So,” Rain sat on one of the lower steps so he could rest between Judds thigh. “What did you do today?”

“School, catering gig, gym, and this.”

Rain frowned “You came to school today?”

“I only went to the classes I had exams in.”

“I’m a little offended you didn’t come to english just so we could at least see each other.” Rain jokes.

Judd smirked, looking down at him. “Are you saying you missed me?”

“Always.” Rain smiled.

Judd smiled, tugging at Rain's earring. “What did you do today?”

“Let’s see,” Rain hummed, nuzzling his cheek into Judd’s thigh. “I woke up early so I could practice for the performance. Then I went to school, pretty easy day, no quizzes or exams. I went to Leah’s play then drove us here for the party. And now I’m here with my very sweet boyfriend.”

“Take that shit back right now.” Judd squeezed Rain between his thighs, making the boy laugh.

“Did you miss me?” Rain asked

“Of course I did,” Judd rolled his eyes, “What the fuck kind of question is that.”

Rain sat up so he could press a kiss to his cheek. “Like I said, sweet boyfriend.”

Moments later, Rain had the satisfaction of watching Daniel flip out at his ruined car.

“Wow, Judd, you slashed Daniel’s tires? I’m impressed.” Nick smiled.

"What are you talking about?" Judd said. "Who's Daniel?"

Nick looked around and realized all the cars in the area had been slashes. "Okay. I'll take it." He shrugged, smiling for a moment before getting a good look at his brother and Rain. "Why are you two like that?"

Rain twisted in place, leaning his forearms on Judd's thighs as he leaned over to look at Nick. "What are you talking about?"

"Like," Nick flailed his arms towards them, frowning. "so close and on top of each other?"

"Judd and I aren't close?" Rained frowned up at Judd in a fake confused look. "Are we close, Judd?"

Judd blew smoke in his face, a newly lit cigarette in his hand. "I'd sell you for a rock."

Rain shrugged, pouting at Nick. "See, not close."

Nick rolled his eyes, walking back into the house.

With just the three of them left outside, Leah stood closer to them. "Nice paint job." She said, referring to Daniel's car.

Rain grinned, "Thanks! I think it's my best work yet!"

Leah crouched behind Judd, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulder. "You're a really good brother." She pressed the side of her face into the top of his head.

"Get the fuck off me before I shank you." Despite the threat, Judd simply patted her crossed arms.

Leah laughed, lightly shoving her brother. "There's my asshole brother."

She stood up making her way back into the house when Judd stopped her. "I better not see that little prick around here again."

"Yeah, yeah." Leah rolled her eyes, waving him off as she shut the door behind her.

Rain leaned back into his boyfriends arms, content in their shared silence. While Judd worked through his cigarette, humming what sounded like Feral Love by Chelsea Wolfe, Rain pulled out his phone.

Rain: Need you to get rid of someone for me.

Dad: Explain.

Rain: Daniel McAllister, 17, goes to my school. He tried to assault my friend.

Dad: Are you sure?

Rain: Yeah, saw him do it.

Dad: He'll be gone by the morning.

Rain: Thanks, here's his address [address]. Love you.

Dad: Love you too, Adrian.

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Chapter Text

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★

Rain couldn't help but laugh at the look on his brothers face.

"What do you mean you're coming with me?" Levi asked, zipping his red leather jacket.

"Calm down," Rain grinned from his spot on his brothers bed. "Ronan and I are taking Sofia to the Ice Palace Festival. It just makes sense that we all go together."

Levi turned towards his youngest brother. "Rain, I swear to god-"

"I promise we won't intrude on your date!" Rain promised. It was rare to see the older boy so nervous. Levi has always been the confident one in the group of siblings. Rain was actually happy to see him so jittery, it meant he really wanted his date with Conner to go well.

"I'm ready!!" Sofia came running into the room. "Let's go, let's go, let's gooooooo!"

Rain smiled watching the little girl bounce on the balls of her feet. Ronan came in right behind her.

"Are you nervous, Levi?" Ronan grinned, watching his twin fuss with his hair.

"Fuck off, I am not." He snapped. "Let's go before I decide to leave you all at the side of the road."

Sofia eagerly pulled Levi out of the room. Rain and Ronan followed, tumbling against each other, shoulders shaking with laughter.

The drive took all of twenty minutes, the festival set up towards the edge of town.

"Alright," Levi sighed, checking his phone as they walked into the carnival grounds. "I'm gonna find Conner."

"Make good choices!" Ronan called out. Levi flipped him off for his troubles.

"Alright Sofia," Rain looked down at the girl "Where to first?"

Instead of answering, the girl grabbed each of the boys hands and pulled them towards one small, kid sized ferris wheels. Each of the seats were shaped like different farm animals and seemed to only have enough space for one child. They'd gotten there early enough that Sofia hadn't had to wait long before she was being buckled into a cow shaped seat. Ronan and Rain happily watched her from the guard rails, Ronan filming the giggling girl as she slowly went up and down.

"Has everything been okay at school?" Ronan asked, pocketing his phone after a while.

Rain turned, puzzled look on his face. "Yeah, why?"

Ronan shrugged. "Just wondering. We haven't had much time together since moving here."

Rain hummed, leaning his arms on the barricade. "Everything's been great at school. It took a bit getting used to the American school system but I haven't had any problems. My friends know I'm trans, they took it well."

"And you're dance classes?"

"Exhausting." He sighed. "I still love it but I don't think I ever want to be a lead again. It's too stressful."

Ronan turned, eyes wide. "You got the lead? Why didn't you tell us?"

Rain shrugged, suddenly feeling guilty. "I don't know. The last time I brought up my dance stuff, mom got upset. I don't want her and dad fighting again."

"Rain," Ronan sighed, rubbing his face in frustration. "Moms feelings aren't on you. Getting the lead is a big deal, I'm excited for you." He nudged Rain's shoulder with his, smiling.

"Thanks," Rain gently knocked his head against his brothers. "And it kinda is on me. I don't know. I don't think she expected this to be a permanent thing."

"What do you mean?"

"Me being trans. When I came out I know it took a bit of adjusting for everyone. Dad didn't completely understand but he was supportive regardless. Levi switched his pronouns towards me effortlessly. Sofia didn't care, she was just excited to have another brother. I know you went in a deep dive, researching everything that would help me transition safely. It was a bit harder with mom."

"Harder how?" Ronan asked. "I thought she took it better than dad did?"

"In a way I guess." Rain shivered, whether it was from the memories or the bitter cold, he couldn't tell. "She wasn't against it, but at the same time I don't think she understands that just because I'm a boy now doesn't mean my interests changed completely. I think she sees boys and girls in separate boxes. Like, now that I'm a boy, I shouldn't be into 'girly' things like dancing. And since I am still dancing, I feel like she thinks me being a boy is temporary. Does that make sense?"

"It does, I'm sorry."

"It is what it is." Rain sighed. "I think she's also upset about the Lorenzo thing."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you remember?" Rain asked. "Growing up mom and Lorenzos mom, Bianca, used to joke about Lorenzo and I ending up together. High school sweethearts and all that crap. I think she expected it to happen. So when I came out, I basically broke her dreams of Lorenzo and I being together forever. I think it's even worse because Lorenzo and I don't even really talk anymore."

Ronan scoffed. "That's crap. Mom's got no right being upset just because she can't push her heteronormative expectations on you, anymore."

Rain giggled. "Look at you, using big words. What an ally."

"Shut up, dummy." Ronan laughed with him. "Why aren't you and Lorenzo friends anymore? You were best friends."

"I don't know." Rain tried to choose his words carefully. "We got older and just grew apart, it happens."

"That's all?"

"That's all."

Part of Rain wondered if maybe, Ronan knew what Lorenzo had done. Out of all of the siblings, Ronan was the most like their father. The calm, level headed observer. He noticed things most people wouldn't think twice about, he made connections in a way that no one else did.

"What about you?" Rain attempted to change the subject. "How's nursing school? How's your job as an EMT?"

Ronan let Rain lead the conversation away. "Exhausting. I'm pretty sure nursing school gave me a drinking problem, which sucks because America made the dumb decision to set the legal drinking age at twenty-one instead of eighteen like it is everywhere else in the world."

Rain rolled his eyes playfully, making Ronan laugh. "I start clinicals next semester, I'm pretty excited. Bit worried too though."

"Why?"

"I haven't been home a lot, so busy with work and school. That's only gonna get worse when I start rotations, I'm already gonna have to cut hours at work and I'll be missing even more time at home. Levi is my twin, we'll always be close. But I worry about you and Sofia. Sofia is so young, I don't want to be that weird distant sibling that she only sees during the holidays. And you're in your last year of high school, these next few years are gonna be rough and I wanna be there for you when you need me."

"Aww," Rain pouted, pressing a loud, exaggerated kiss against his brothers temple. "How sappy!"

"Shut up!" Ronan groaned, "I take it all back."

Rain laughed. "You don't have to worry. Sofia still steals moms phone to face time you and Levi every other day. Even if you tried, I don't think she's every gonna let any of us go. As for me, well, you and Levi took care of me through some of the worst moments in my life. I'm always gonna come to you before anyone else when I need someone by my side."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

The conversation ended there as Sofia came running back to them.

"Alright, where to next?" Ronan asked, picking up the little girl. As the sun started going down the crowd got bigger.

"I want toys!" Sofia demanded, She threw her hands out, wide open. "Big fluffy ones!"

"Carnival games it is."

They spent the next while jumping from booth to booth, collecting a handful of toys in all different sizes until there were too many for Rain and Ronan to carry around. It helped that Ronan was a perfect shot at every game, they managed to get exactly each plush the little girl wanted.

"That one! That one!" Sofia pulled at the belt hooks on Ronans pants, attempting to pull them to another booth.

"Sofia, no," Rain sighed. "You have enough toys, we can't carry all of them."

"Please just one more!" Sofia whined, pouting. "I want the raccoon!"

Damn it if Rain hadn't developed a soft spot of raccoons.

"Fine," Rain sighed. "But you're carrying this one and you can't complain when it gets heavy."

Rain hooked two of the plushies onto his arms by their collars, dropping the other two between his feet. He picked up the little girl and set her on the seat as Ronan payed the employee. It seemed like an easy game. All she had to do was shoot the water gun into a hole.

"Alright make sure to aim." Ronan stuffed some of the smaller toys into his pockets before dropping the rest by Rains feet. He stood behind Sofia, helping her aim. There were three other kids she had to compete against but the win was easy regardless.

They made a quick stop to the car, stuffing the toys in the trunk before going back in.

"Alright, how about we carve pumpkins?" Ronan pulled them to an empty pumpkin carving station, sighing as he sat down.

Rain sat down across from the two and they got to carving. Rain worked on making a simple cat carving, using the triangle eye pieces to make cat ears. Sofia ended up tossing two pumpkins after chancing her mind half way through. Ronan was still working on the one but refused to show them until it was ready.

Rain's phone buzzed as he pitted a third pumpkin for Sofia.

Judd: That's an ugly ass pumpkin.

Rain looked through the crowd trying to find the boy.

Rain: Like you can do better.

Instead of responding, Judd dropped his pumpkin right in front of Rain. Rain jumped at the sound, turning to find his boyfriend sitting next to him.

"Have you been here the whole time?" Rain asked.

"Mines better than yours." Judd said instead of answering his question.

Rain turned to the pumpkin and found that Judd's was in fact, better than his. It was a detailed carving of The Nightmare Before Christmas featuring Oogie Boogie, Jack, Lock, Shock, and Barrel.

"Well I'm not an artist but you clearly are." Rain marveled at the pumpkin, running his fingers through the art work. "This is really cool."

Judd looked very smug as the open smile on Rains face.

"I'm done!" Sofia announced, standing on the bench. It was a bat hanging upside down on a tree branch.

"As am I." Ronan turned his and Rain couldn't help but scoff.

"Did you make The Great Wave on a pumpkin?!"

"Ha!" Judd grinned, teasingly. "Yours is officially the worst one."

Rain crossed his arm, pouting up at the boy. "Shut up! I did my best."

Ronan coughed inconspicuously making Rain realize he never introduced Judd.

"Oh uh," Rain started. "This is Judd. Judd this is Ronan and Sofia."

"Hi, Judd!" Sofia waved, grinning ear to ear. "I like your pumpkin!"

"Thanks," Judd nodded at Sofia's pumpkin. "yours is pretty sick."

"Did you know, bats are the only flying mammals?" Sofia asked, eager to share her knowledge on bats with someone new.

"Did you know bats use sound to see their surroundings?" Judd asked back.

"I did!" Sofia squealed.

Rain smiled watching the two interact. He hadn't expected Judd to be so sweet with Sofia, it was a nice surprise.

"Alright Sofia," Ronan started. "We have time for one more thing, then we gotta get home."

"Ferris wheel!" She cheered. "I wanna be at the tippy top!"

"Coming?" Rain asked, holding his hand out for Judd. Ronan and Sofia already walking away.

Judd took the boys hand, only letting go when they arrived at the Ferris wheel.

"I want Judd to take me!" Sofia demanded, leaving everyone dumbfounded.

"Sofia, how about you come with me?" Ronan tried to reason with her. "We're gonna be pretty high up, I'm too scared to go alone."

Sofia contemplated her options before agreeing. "Okay, but only because you're scared."

Ronan picked her up, grinning at Rain he said. "You two have fun."

So Ronan definitely knew about them.

Rain clutched onto the safety handrail as he and Judd got into the car. "This thing cannot be safe."

"Chill," Judd smirked. "Only thirty people die a year at carnivals."

"Judd!" Rain leaned forward, smacking the boys arm. The movement caused the car to shake making Rain glue himself back into his seat.

"Oh fuck!"

Judd cackled at the boys fear. "Your fine, come here." He beckoned the boy over to the empty space next to him.

Rain shook his head. "Nope, you stay there and I stay here. Weight distribution."

Judd stood up, moving to sit next to Rain. Rain stood up at the same time, moving to the other side.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Judd asked, irritated.

"I am not dying in this cheap carnival death trap because you wanna feel me up!" Rain looked over the ledge to see the other cars shaking as the wheel moved.

"You're being a dumbass." Judd rushed to Rains side, not giving him the chance to move.

Judd pulled the boy into his lap, wrapping his arms around Rains waist, keeping him from moving. The car jerked violently at the movement making Rain clutch onto Judd. "You ass!"

"Calm down." Judd reassured the boy. "It'll settle."

True to his words, the car settled, swaying gently as it moved. Rain let go of the boy and moved off his lap to sit next to him. Judd set his feet in the seat across from them. Moving Rains legs on top of his, Judd wrapped an arm around the boys waist. Rain kept a death drip on the arm around him. Settling his head on his boyfriends shoulder, Rain looked around, marveling at the kaleidoscope of lights around them. "Okay, maybe this isn't so bad."

"I can't believe you're afraid of heights." Judd grinned. "I thought nothing scared you."

"Hey, it's a very healthy fear!" Rain defended. "If humans were meant to be in the air, we'd have wings."

Judd responded by pressing a kiss onto his forehead.

"Are you okay?" Rain asked. Judd had been acting weird today.

"Of course, why do you ask?"

"You're at a carnival, I haven't heard you curse at all today, and you just kissed my forehead." Rain recounted the weird events from today. "I haven't seen you act like this before."

"Mom made me drop Nick off, he's roaming around somewhere down there with his idiot friends and I wasn't gonna curse in front of your little sister." Judd reasoned. "And I kiss you every chance I get."

"Oh my god," Rain looked up at the boy, eyes wide, grinning. "You're trying to make a good impression on my brother!"

"Fuck off! See if I do anything for you again."

"No, no" Rain cupped the boys face, making Judd look at him. "I never asked you to play nice with my family. You did that because you want my family to like you!"

"I don't give a fuck what your family thinks. I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks." Despite his words, Judds cheeks were tinted pink.

Rain grinned at the lie, pulling the boy down into a searing kiss, he tasted like citrus and smoke. They spent the ride making out, the setting sun casting a warm glow on them. Rain likes Judd just the way he is and would never expect him to censor himself in front of his family. That said, knowing that Judd cared enough to try and put his best foot forward regardless made Rain's heart melt.

Once the ride came to an end, the two regrouped with Ronan and Sofia. The girl had finally managed to wear herself out, the slow spinning wheel lulling her to sleep in Ronan's arms.

"Time to go home then?" Rain asked.

"I'll get Sofia home, you should stay." Ronan said in English before switching to Italian. "I like this one."

"Really?" Rain asked in the same language. "I didn't think you or Levi would like him."

"I've done my research on him and talked to dad. He's a bit rough around the edges but I think he's good for you. That said, Levi is definitely gonna hate him." Ronan laughed before switching back to English.

"I'm sure Judd can give you a ride home?"

Judd nodded at Ronans question.

"I'll let dad know where you are. "Ronan bounced Sofia up a bit, getting a better grip on her. "It was nice to meet you Judd."

"You too."

Rain waited until Ronan had disappeared in the crowd before asking, "Did it hurt? Not being an asshole all day?"

"Eat shit, asshole." Judd grunted.

Rain laughed at the immediate change. "There you are!"

Judd's cold hands slipped into his as he pulled the boy towards a row of carnival games. The two played against each other for an hour. In the end Rain had a dark blue Grumpy Care Bear wrapped around his neck, its body hanging down his back and Judd had a bright yellow Funshine Bear in his arms.

Judd had snorted when Rain handed him the three foot plushie. "Seriously? It's like you don't know me at all."

Rain patted the bears head. "This is Funshine Bear, his job is to brighten your days and keep the dark away with his uplifting spirit. He'll remind you to let your inner sun out once in a while."

Judd rolled his eyes, yet carefully tucked the bear into his arms. "What's yours then?"

"Grumpy Bear, he reminds me of you." Rain held up the bear to Judd's face. "See this frown, you've got the same one."

"I do not look like that ugly ass bear, asshole."

"Hey, don't be mean to my boyfriend! He may be ugly but he's mine!"

Judd thumped him over the head.

They ran into Nick, Andrew, Jay, Jessie, and Missy at the concession stand. Judd went to pull his hand away but Rain just tightened his grip. Judd looked at him, confused, Rain winked playfully. His father and brother already knew, he didn't care anymore if anyone else found out about them. Judd grinned, understanding Rain's unspoken words. He unraveled their fingers and instead wrapped his arm around his boyfriends waist, tucking his thumb into Rain's belt loop.

"Rain!" Nick stumbled over his feet. "I've-I mean, we've been looking all over for you."

"Hey guys!" Rain smiled at the group of children as they got closer to the counter. "Are you having fun?"

"Very much so!" Andrew bounced on the balls of his feet. He pointed at the stuffed lion in Missy's hand. "I won that lion by shooting basketballs. Me! I got the ball in the hoop!"

"Nice." Rain offered a high five.

"You should have seen me, Rain! Nothing but net every time." Andrew tried to mime shooting the ball and ended up falling face first.

"You hit the net every time." Jessie rolled her eyes. "The worker just felt bad for you and gave you the lion, idiot."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"You look nice today Rain," Missy spoke, letting the two squabble in the background. "I love the flowers on your pants."

"Thanks!" Rain swung his leg out to show off the colorful designs sprawled around his ankle.

Judd yanked Rain forward before he could continue the conversation. "What do you want, dumbass?"

Rain skimmed the menu before stopping at one of the foods he'd been wanting to try for a while. "Oooo, funnel cake."

"You're gonna hate it." Judd said but ordered it anyways.

"You don't know that!" Rain pouted. "Maybe it'll be my new favorite food."

"Oh! Oh! Jay's turn!"

"I'm not paying for you dumb fucks." Judd said. Jay ignored him, ordering a massive plateful of corndogs topped with chocolate syrup and whipped cream. The rest of the group ordered their food, Judd begrudgingly paid after Rain offered to pay for the kids.

'Ever the gentleman.' Rain thought, amused.

"What are you doing here anyways?" Nick asked, eyeing his brothers hand on Rain's waist. "Shouldn't you be out stealing stop signs or something?"

"I'm loitering, planning your murder." Judd grinned, showing off his disturbingly sharp canines. "Shouldn't you be off finding a girl to lose your virginity too? Little dick boy."

Nick turned red in the face. He coughed, eager to change the subject. "Anyway, Rain."

Rain hummed as he led the gaggle of children to an empty table, hands full with two trays.

"Do you wanna ride the Teacups together?" Nick slid into the spot next to him, Andrew on the other side of Rain.

"Get the fuck outta my seat." Judd yanked Nick out of his chair before Rain could respond.

Rain winced at the resounding thud.

Nick stood up, moving to sit next to Jessie on the other side of the table. "Jerk." He mumbled, glaring at his brother.

"What'd you say to me?"

"Nothing!"

Rain coughed to hide the laugh bubbling up his chest. He bit into the sugar covered dough and froze.

Judd watched his boyfriend, a sick, amused grin on his face. "New favorite food, huh?"

Rain pouted, the fried dough sitting on his tongue as he refused to chew it.

Judd shook his head. "Here." He swapped their plates. "Fried pickles, you'll like it better."

Rain found that he did. "Anyways, yeah, we can go on the Teacups."

"No the fuck we're not." Judd stabbed at a piece of the funnel cake before pointing it towards Jay. "That little jackoff's gonna spill his guts."

"No I won't! Fuck you!" Jay screamed, chocolate sauce stained around his hands and mouth. Rain tossed him a handful of napkins. "I've got an iron gut, I'm gonna spin that motherfucker into the sun and I still won't throw up!" He spit chunks of corndog across the table.

"Ew Jay, that's gross!" Missy frowned. She pushed away her ruined half empty plate. "Say it, don't spray it."

Rain nudged his boyfriend. "We'll just sit in a different car."

Judd rolled his eyes but didn't argue.

The group quickly finished their food and thirty minutes later found themselves at the front of the line for the Teacups. Nick pulled Rain in with him, Judd sliding in next to his boyfriend and Jessie on the other side of him.

Judd leaned over the wheel, gripping it tightly. "Ready?"

Rain tilted his head in confusion. As far as he knew, they would be going in slow circles across the entire platform, he didn't know what Judd wanted him to be ready for.

His curiosity was answered almost immediately. As the ride started, Judd turned the wheel in the middle with all his strength and sent them flying. The other three passengers screamed, Nick and Jessie in fear and Rain in bewildered delight. The force of it all sent Jessie halfway into Judd's lap and Nick into the corner of the seat. Rain planted his feet so he could stay pressed against his boyfriend. Once they'd reached maximum speed, Judd stopped and leaned back, tossing his arm around Rains shoulder.

"Now comes the fun part."

"This isn't the fun part?" Rain asked.

Instead of responding, Judd closed his eyes and screamed at the top of lungs. Rain cackled at the sight before following his example. He tossed his hands in the air and screamed as loud as he could. Together they spun and spun and spun, the wind whipping around them.

Getting off the ride turned out to be fun as well. Rain clutched Judd's arm as he stumbled, his head dizzy with euphoria as the world spun around him. Rain giggled, watching the kids stumble around them. Jay tossed himself halfway into the trash, vomiting. Judd sighed, annoyed at being right.

"That was fun!" Rain smiled up at his boyfriend, finally being able to pull himself away as the world stabilized.

The smile dropped from his face when he saw the annoyed look on Judd's face. He lowered his voice before asking. "What's wrong?"

"If that little red head doesn't stop trying to feel me up I'm gonna commit premeditated homicide."

Rain frowned, eyes wandering down to the red head and sure enough, there she was, clearly pretending to still stumble and 'accidentally' grabbing onto Judd's belt. Both Rain and Judd hadn't minded the crush Jessie had on Judd, if anything they found her attempts at getting Judd's attention funny. But Rain wasn't going to let the girl make his boyfriend uncomfortable.

Rain pulled Judd away, making Jessie lose her grip and stumble for real this time. "Well, this has been fun but I need to get home so we'll be going."

"O-oh, so soon?" Nick frowned.

"Yeah, sorry kid." Rain nodded. "We'll hang out some other time, okay?"

"Judd, do you have to go?" Jessie asked.

Rain answered for him. "Yeah he does. He's my ride."

"It was nice to see you again, Rain!" Andrew waved with one hand, the other occupied by Missy's hand.

"Thank you for buying our food, Judd." Missy nodded. Judd just grunted.

"Bye Rain, bye Rain's punk friend." Jay said absentmindedly, not even bothering to look at them as he wandered away.

As they walked away, Rain pulled his phone out and opened the front facing camera. He watched Jessie through it as he pretended to fix his hair. When he was sure Jessie was the only one watching them go, he spun around and pulled Judd down into a tongue tying kiss. Judd easily followed Rain's lead, hands going down to squeeze his boyfriends ass as he pressed them together. Rain kept his eyes on Jessie's slowly reddening face. He let out an exaggerate moan as the tears grew in her eyes. Rain only pulled away once she was gone, running after her friends with a broken heart.

"The hell was that?" Judd asked, voice rough with lust.

"Just marking my territory." Rain thumbed away the spit from Judd's swollen lips. "If she touches you again I'll rip her head off."

Judd grinned, voice low. "I'm liking this possessive side of you."

"Let's go to your jeep." Rain tugged on Judd's collar, leading him towards the exit. "I'll show you more sides of me."

✧•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★