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Chapter Text

Giyuu was dying. Really dying, it had almost happened many times but he was pretty sure it was for real this time.  He was bleeding out on the forest ground. He had killed the demon and didn’t even notice the fatal wound until he collapsed on the ground. He looked to his side and saw blood pouring onto the leaves of the forest. “I-i’ll get help” Kanzaburo squawked, and flew off shakily in the opposite direction to town. 

By the time the kasugai crow realized he was going the wrong way it would be to late, the old bird would never make it in time.

so this is really it… 

He found that didn’t really bother him, he had been trying to die from reckless fighting for some time now. No one would care anyways. There was a time in life when his death would’ve been a tragedy, but that was so long ago and he was so, so tired.

Ten years ago…

Giyuu was eleven years old, his sister was getting married today. After their parents got sick and passed away it had been just the two of them, he loved her with his whole heart. 

“tsutako!” he said entering the room they shared smiling. 

She was wearing a her white wedding kimono that he’d helped her pick out and thought no one had ever looked better. At first little giyuu hadn’t liked her fiancée he was stealing his dear sisters attention, and was a little intimidating, but she just looked so happy and well, maybe the treats he brought helped. A little. Like a lot. And now they would be one happy family. 

“Giyuu!” she smiled “how do i look?” 

He thought for a moment “Like… really very super pretty” dead serious. 

“aww thank you, but something’s missing, do you think you could help me braid my hair?”getting down so he could lift the long silky strands into his small hands. 

He nodded vigorously, sometimes when work didn’t keep her out late at night she would let him braid her hair in all sorts of patterns. He loved her hair, it was much neater than his shaggy black mop that went in every direction. He separated it into three sections just as she taught him. He used to braid his own hair, but the mean people in town said it was unnatural for a young man whatever that meant. Tsutako got really mad but eventually had to make him stop, but she promised to let him braid hers wherever he wanted so it was okay. She hummed while he worked and in that moment all was at peace. 

CRASH!!

”Tsutako what was that?” giyuu asked at the strange noise. 

“I’ll go check” she said, her voice slightly strained.”Stay here okay?” 

They didn’t have much but wild animals could do a lot of damage, and robbers could take what little that had. Giyuu nodded in response.

A few minutes passed before he heard it, the noise that would haunt him for the rest of his miserable life. Tsutako screamed out of pain and fear and worry for him. He ran to the kitchen to find a monster hunched over his sister, its fangs dripping with her blood as it tore her apart. It looked up to where he stood in the doorway shaking with fear. As it turned to him Tsutako Hit it lightly with all the meager strength left in her body trying to bring its attention back to her. The demon tossed her to the side without a second thought and began its advance on the trembling child. Giyuu stood wide eyed as the monster drew closer and closer. He couldn’t move or think, he was frozen with fear. 

“Run giyuu!” cried his beloved sister snapping him out of his trance. 

He wanted to listen to her but was racked with fear, she was bleeding so much and part of him knew he couldn’t leave her. The demon turned its attention to her now. She was lying on the ground where it had thrown her, tears in her eyes and blood pouring out of the gash in her side. The Demon actually laughed, throwing its head back open mouthed like the man tsutako was supposed to marry. The sound was nothing short of horrific, its choked cackles echoing through the gruesome scene. 

Somehow she stood, running to him and slamming the door to their room behind her. She wrapped her daily haori around him.

”tsutako what are you doing?”he asked his deep blue eyes wrought with terror. 

“Listen to me giyuu, I have to go now” her voice cracked “ but you have to promise me you’ll be okay. Promise me you’ll live, you can do that for me right?”

kids answer was al most inaudible “I promise”

The demon crashed through the door, growling and licking its lips.

“Giyuu” her voice barely a whisper “run”

And this time Giyuu ran, back through the room they shared, unfinished decorations still waiting, stumbling over the surprise flower crown he had made her as a wedding present tears in his eyes. Her pained screams chasing him out the door and into the night. He ran through the village screaming and crying. He tried to find help he really did but nobody believed him. 

A few days later he returned to her mangled body lying on the kitchen floor. he ran to her and shook her already rotting corpse, tomorrow they were sending him away. The whole town thought he was mad. he clutched his sister’s body. The blood had dried in burnt red crusts in sharp contrast against the white of her wedding kimono. He had run from the village elders home, and knew now was his only chance. So once again Giyuu ran without looking back. 

He stumbled through the snow, clutching his sisters haori. It’d been days since he’d ran from his village. he was cold and hungry and it was getting hard to breathe. Eventually he collapsed in the woods of an unfamiliar mountain. His face hit the freezing snow and his body immediately protested.

promise me you’ll live. He had to get up, he had to, or tsutako died for nothing. He began to crawl forward, the image of her broken body burned behind his soulless eyes. But he was cold and tired and if he died maybe he’d see her again. nobody would care but no, he wouldn’t. She was in heaven and he would go to hell, all he did was run. He should have done something, anything but run. And here he was, helpless once again. He rolled over on the snow and stared up at the flakes falling from the all white sky.

I’m sorry tsutako…

The last thing he remembered was a flash of peach colored hair and lavender eyes and then darkness. 

“Urokodaki sensei?! There’s a boy out here in the snow” 

“Bring him inside by the fire”

” I hope you wake up soon… i’m sabito, we’re gonna be best friends”

”Urokodaki sensei, when will he wake up?”

“soon sabito, i hope… now get back to training i’ll watch over him” 

When Giyuu woke up he saw two large lavender eyes hovering right over his face. The pair bumped heads and both yelped. 

The peach haired boy recovered first, and immediately started talking “Hiya! i’m sabito, we found you in the woods, who are you? why were you out there? what’s your name? you’ve been asleep for a week now, what happened to you? your eyes are so blue, that must sound weird i mean i’ve never seen you open them before so i was just-“

“Sabito! calm down he just woke up now is no time to interrogate the poor boy” said a tall man in a tengu mask. “go fetch him some water and soup” 

The peach boy-sabito nodded a little embarrassed and dashed off. Giyuu looked around and found himself in a small room in what appeared to be the man and sabito’s house. it was Cosy and nice it reminded him of home. Home. It all came back to him, he didn’t have a home anymore. He didn’t have a sister. He was all alone.

“My name is sakonji Urokodaki, Me and sabito found you in the forest a week ago,” He said kindly, bringing giyuu back to reality “do you think you could tell me your name?” 

“G-giyuu Tomioka” he rasped his voice sore from underuse. “My name is Giyuu Tomika” 

Chapter Text

“Can you tell me what happened?”Urokodaki asked. 

Giyuu was now sitting up with his nee’s pressed to his chest. Sabito had returned with the soup but it remained untouched beside him. He buried his head in his arms at the question. 

“You wouldn’t believe me” He mumbled. 

“Alright, then let me tell you about myself” said Urokodaki. “ And maybe i’ll prove you wrong.”

”When i was a boy my family was slaughtered by demons, i joined the demon slayer corps, for revenge. The demon slayer corps is an ancient, secretive organization dedicated to hunting and slaying demons to protect humanity. I trained as hard as i could and defeated many demons, i reached the rank of hashira the strongest of the corps. After my retirement i’ve been training the young members for the final selection. but more about that later, Sabito here is one of these students. Now many people wouldn’t believe that so, tell me young giyuu what is so impossible to understand?”

Giyuu sat in stunned silence for and for a moment a ray of hope began to shine.

”W-well monst-demon i geuss attacked me and my sister on her wedding night. She protected me but-but she” he dropped his head as silent but uncontrollable sobs shook his small body. 

Immediately Sabito (more out of instinct than anything) was by his side, just holding him as he convulsed violently. 

They stayed like that for a long time, Urokodaki left and came back with more soup and when giyuu had calmed down a bit they ate in silence. When the three had finished their excellent meal Urokodaki spoke again. 

“ Giyuu you shall stay with us for the next few weeks but afterwards i shall present you with a choice. I can find you a place to stay for a while, or you can stay with us and train to be a demon slayer. I warn you training is grueling work and if you were to survive the final selection you would have nothing but trouble for the rest of you days. You would also become powerful and be able to help those who cannot defend themselves from demons. This is not a choice to make lightly but keep it in mind the next few weeks. We’ll let you rest now” 

He got up and Sabito followed with all their dishes, only glancing back a few time on the way out. 

Giyuu curled up on the cot, and let the strange sounds of the mountain lull him to sleep. 

He was back in time, laughing in the kitchen of his child hood home, helping his sister wash the dishes. It was a happier time his parents sat at the table smiling and talking.

“Giyuu can you go get some water from out side?” asked his sister kindly. 

Giyuu didn’t like going outside at night but before he could protest he was in the dark. As he turned back to his house the Happy world around him darkened. His parents graves appeared behind him and he heard his dear sister’s screams fill the night. Their home was burning.Then he was inside staring at her mangled bloody body.

It’s mouth opened”Help me! Help me Giyuu” The body spoke in her voice. 

Instead Giyuu ran like the coward he was, She needed him but his body moved on its own. The tall dark figures of his neighbors blocked his way like the smoke of his house .

”he’s crazy!”

”Always knew something was wrong with those two!” 

“Did you hear about the Tomioka’s?”

"the girl was foolish to begin with and the boys always been queer" 

He jolted awake, he was trembling covered in sweat with tears in his eyes. He needed to stop crying so much it was his fault anyway. Sun was just beginning to peak in through a window he hadn't noticed the previous night. It was early, but he wouldn't dare fall back asleep, Not after that. He sat up determined to wait till the sun rose a little higher. This was not going according to plan he didn't want to get up but he refused to go back to sleep, and then he heard it. The sound  wasn't familiar, like a swoosh of something moving fast though the air, but it definetly wasn't a bird. The sounds repeated until curiosity won him over and he got up and made his way to the window. He walked slowly trying not to show his curiosity, which was dumb he was alone.  He walked slowly anyways. As he went he tried to guess what it could be.  

A paper air plane? No it repeats to quickly for that.

Some kind of animal? maybe...

The wind?

Or perhaps it was a bird after all, he was on a mountain the birds could be faster here.

From all of his guessing Giyuu never would have expected to see Sabito. Fully dressed swinging a wooden katana in the snow at around 5:00 in the morning. He stood there for a while just watching him. He swung the sword in a beautiful arc,  over and over each time in the exact same place as the last. Giyuu Was mesmerized not just by the boy swinging the sword (who was mesmerizing and Giyuu had never met a boy his own age) but by the katana its self. He could practically see the slashes left in the air by the simple but deadly exercise. 

"Impressive isn't it?" asked Urokodaki coming up behind him. Giyuu jumped little but was able to keep his reaction small. “that could be you if you decide to stay”

"Yes sir, he's so far ahead of me I'm not sure I'd be able to catch up...” he deflected. 

'No, these are only the basics. Sabito's only just started training after all" With that the walked off leaving giyuu to his thoughts. 

The next few weeks passed in a blur but were all mostly similar. Although his sleep only got worse as time progressed. The nightmares got more and more real. After the first few days he made it clear he wouldn’t be eating with them and while Urokodaki would leave food for him he was rarely hungry enough to eat more than a few bites. He spent most of the time looking out that window. Watching all the life go by. Birds, raccoons other animals, and sabito of course. 

Soon the Two weeks was almost up and the longest conversation he’d had was the first night. Part of him wanted to go out, and be with the boy in the sun. But this was how it had to be. Cowards didn’t deserve friends and anyone who got close to him died anyway. His parents, and- sometimes it hurt too much to think about.

“But Giyuu, you deserve to hurt, you let me die. You ran away, running from your thoughts now too? Coward” His sister’s voice hissed in his ears. 

So he made himself remember, even though it hurt so, so much he could barely breathe. The way her eyes were rolled back in her head, flies buzzing around her body. The way she screamed, the way it laughed. How he could see her intestines spilling through the gaping whole in her stomach. 

A knock on the door brought him back to reality, he had fallen to the floor and was trembling under the window.

“Hey i heard a crash-“ Sabito stopped when he saw him. “are-are you okay…?”

Sabito looked scared, Giyuu didn’t like that but he wasn’t sure why he looked like that.

I don’t look that bad do I? 

He tried to say he was fine but the words wouldn’t come out. He briefly noticed Sabito calling his master but his vision was getting blurry. He coughed into his hand and was shocked to find blood. When Urokodaki rushed in to the room all the exhaustion and hunger from the past three weeks finally hit him and he blacked out. 

”Giyuu” he recognized his sister’s voice instantly. 

“Giyuu!” He finally came too when someone (probably Sabito) splashed cold water on his face. He gasped for air and looked around. He was exactly where he’d been a few moments ago. Though a lot colder and wetter. 

After they’d dried him off and practically force fed him several helpings of salmon, Urokodaki began to question him lightly. 

“Giyuu… What happened?”

“I guess i was a little tired, and hungry…” 

“You passed out” He said sternly “ that doesn’t happen when your a little tired” 

“I’m sorry”

”Don’t apologize to me, we want to help you giyuu but we can’t do that if you won’t even try to feel better” 

“I’m sorry” he said again, quieter. 

The masked man sighed “ Promise me you’ll eat every meal and at least try to sleep” 

Giyuu didn’t want to sleep, he hadn’t in days and he was tired but when he slept that’s when the dreams came, and those were inescapable. But…

“I promise” 

“Good and-“

”I’d also like to go somewhere else for a while, you’ve been nothing but kind to me and i thank you for saving me but-“

”No!” Sabito cut in. “You’ve been watching me train everyday you clearly want to be a demon slayer!”

”Sabito!” Urokodaki raised his voice “I’ll be sad to see you go but the choice is yours” 

Giyuu nodded “ I’ll go to bed now, I need to rest for tomorrow” and promptly left. 

Giyuu did not in fact go to bed. He lied awake for what felt like hours. He could hear Sabito and Urokodaki arguing in the next room. The House was small, with three rooms separated by a screen door. The front where they ate, the room he was in now which he was pretty sure was Sabito’s, and a room further away which belonged to Urokodaki. Sabito had been sleeping in the fron since he’d arrived but tonight after Urokodaki was asleep he crept in where giyuu lie. 

“hey, i know your awake i could here you moving” he whispered. 

“Leave me alone” he mumbled into the pillow. 

“No! you have to become a demon slayer with me” 

Seeing as Sabito was not leaving giyuu sat up. Sabito’s eyes were full of starlight and giyuu forgot whatever dismissal he was about to deliver. “Why do you want me to anyway?” 

“Because…” for a moment the peach haired boy got quiet. “Well, I don’t want what happened to me to happen to anyone else” 

Giyuu nodded, he could understand that. “That makes sense, but it doesn’t change my mind, i can help anyone”

”That’s ridiculous if your trained by Urokodaki sensei you’ll be unstoppable!” 

“Just leave me alone i’m not strong okay? i’m a coward.”Giyuu rolled over and tried to fall asleep, and as exhausted as he was it didn’t take long. 

“Why would you leave me?!”

“Giyuu wake up!” Said sabito shaking him awake. “ you were crying out in your sleep”

“I’m fine I swear” Giyuu said embarrassed, but why was he still here?

”No you’re not, everyone gets nightmares you know.” Giyuu was shaking all over.

“sorry i woke you up, just go back to bed” 

“Come here” When Giyuu didn’t he went to him. Sabito wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and held him. 

Giyuu would never admit it but he felt better than he had in weeks, he felt safe. So they layer like that whispering to each other about everything and nothing, finding out they had much more in common then anyone would have guessed. When giyuu finally fell asleep, for the first time in weeks he didn’t dream at all. 

p

Chapter Text

When giyuu woke up he decided to stay, he knew it was cowardly he knew he shouldn’t, but he hadn’t slept like that in weeks and he felt safe here. So after a few more days of rest he began his training.

On the first day Urokodaki called Giyuu to him.

“Listen to me giyuu, becoming a demon slayer is hard work and being one is even harder. I believe that you can become very strong, but to do so first you must learn the basics“ 

He revealed a wooden katana and brought it down in a graceful arc. Then he handed the weapon to giyuu. Urokodaki positioned giyuu’s legs and arms into the correct stance and guided him through the movements. Giyuu had to repeat this over and over again until he genuinely thought his arms were going to fall off.

"your doing to wrong," said sabot appearing put of nowhere " Your stance is to wide and your bending your nee's way to much"

At first Giyuu thought to be offended, What did he know? but he seemed like he was just trying to help. "ooh, um thanks" he mumbled. And tried again.

After a few moments, "Your still doing it wrong" Sabito sighed " here let me show you"

He Kicked his feet slightly closer together and placed his hands on the smaller boys arms. He gently eased the both of them through the stances it was easier with sabito supporting him. They practiced like this until giyuu could compleat all the stances on his own. When they finished the boys collapsed onto the dirt. The ground itself was frozen, although they'd shoveled all the snow out of the clearing they'd used for training.They were both exhausted, Giyuu's arms ached his legs trembled and his stomach was sharp with cramps. The pair just lay there in there on their backs watching their froggy breath spiral up into the air. Sabito pointed up to the sky as a huge bird flew overhead.

"that's a mountain eagle hawk" He said surprising Giyuu , it just looked like a bird to him "how can you tell?" he asked.

"Well its one of the biggest words on the mountain, but apart from size I can tell by the black stripes on it's throat and the brown ones on it's belly, also the way their tail feathers are fluffed out helps, it's very similar to the..." Sabito spiraled off into an account of all the birds and animals on Mt Sagiri.

Just being in nature, listening to him talk. it was nice. Like there wasn't a cure int th world. It didn't feel like long but they must have spent at least an hour watching all the forest go by. It was a beautiful day, st first the sun was shining nut noe the sky was completely white. It was calming like a blank page, or a fresh start. That's when it started to snow. Just a little a first, but soon the flakes became thick and floated slowly down to their faces. Giyuu was laying there peacefully when all the sudden a shockingly cold object made direct contact with his face. He looked up to find Sabio whit a concerninly large pile of snow balls grinning down at him. The dark Haired boy grinned right back. It was the first time he'd smiled, really smiled since tsutako's death.  

"prepare to be destroyed!"

"Oh we'll see about that"

Snow balls flew across the training ground, Giyuu was cleaver he hid behind anything and everything while secretly crafting piles. Meanwhile Sabito relied on his incredible speed. The pair zipped around the yard laughing and smiling. By the time urokodaki called them in for lunch the were both soaking wet, freezing cold and doubling over with laughter. Once they'd dried off Urokodaki discussed the evenings plans.

"we will go to the top of the mountain, your task is simple. Return here before sunrise."

"w-what if there's demons up there?" asked Giyuu worried. " there won't be I promise" Responded Urokodaki.

So that night the two young boys traveled to the top of the mountain before urokodaki disappeared.

Almost immediately after he was gone Giyuu and Sabito began their descent of the mountain. Giyuu fell through a patch of grass that was secretly The entrance to a pit lined with spikes. Sabito fell over a trip wire and they were stuck in in tree for a minuet. When they finally made it back to the cabin it was almost sunrise.

"children! Good you made it I just made breakfast“

After that they fell into a sort of rhythm. First individual training, to catch Giyuu up. That went until they stopped for lunch before him and Sabito would fight and train together. Soon after that the group would start up the top of the mountain and avoid traps and obstacles on the way down. At first running down the mountain every single night felt impossible, but with Sabito's help and lots of practice Giyuu was able to make it home with ease. And he could get a decent amount of sleep before repeating it all the next day. Although Giyuu was certainly still haunted by his past it was hard to have nightmares when you’re body is completely exhausted from running down a booby trapped mountain and you know you have to wake up and do it all again tomorrow. 

A month passed, and that month turned into two months and those became six and soon before he knew it a year had passed. And then a little more. In just a week it would be the one year anniversary of the day Tsutako‘s. Once again his health and sleep began to decline. 

A huge snowstorm blew through the mountain making it nearly impossible to train. Giyuu was lying in the room he shared with Sabito while Urokodaki and him washed the dishes. Giyuu had wanted to help but they’d told him to rest. When he overheard them talking in hushed voices. 

„“Urokodaki?“ Whispered Sabito ” I’m worried about giyuu. He’s barely eating or sleeping but mostly he’s been so quiet which he already is bit much more than usual“

Urokodaki sighed. ”Sabito, in a few days from now it‘ll have been exactly a year since Giyuu’s sister Tsutako passed“ 

”Oh… well what can i do?“ 

”just, be there for him okay?” said something else but the rest of their conversation was lost on Giyuu. As he crashed to the floor. 

When did i even stand up? 

He felt sick. How could he forget? Silent Sobs physically shook his body and he didn’t think he could stand even if he wanted to. 

You wanted to that’s why Started the voice in head. Because your a pathetic coward you ran from your sister and now your running from your memories all you do is run and everyone knows it Sabito and Urokodaki know it. you thought plying demon slayer would make up for what you did? Pathetic useless people like you can never change you’ll always be weak Urokodaki only helps you because he pity’s you and once Sabito sees who you really are he’ll hate you like he should’ve from the beginning he probably already does. You killed her just die already. 

I‘m sorry! I’m sorry okay? please…

”sometimes, sorry isn’t enough“ Tsutako had told him that once he doesn’t remember why now but it was real. 

imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry!  

Giyuu had been a bother to so many people in his life that when he was very small he made sure when he cried he did so so quietly no one noticed. When Sabito entered the room for bed he took a minute to realize. 

Giyuu was pretty sure sabito had screamed and Urokodaki was there in an instant. but the rest was a blur. he must have fallen asleep at some point because he was back home and everything thing was burning once again. 

He jolted awake and wiped the crusted tears off his eyes. it was still dark out but from the sounds of the birds he guessed it was about 3:30am. He looked over and saw Sabito sleeping so peacefully a few feet away from him on his mat. How did he sleep so soundly? like he didn’t have a care in the world. When he knew Sabito was struggling just as much. maybe it’s because your so pathe-

He remembered the day Sabito told him about his life before being here. 

It was a beautiful late summer day, The pair had been sent up the mountain to find mushrooms for dinner. Sabito had been different this week, sharper, meaner, quieter. So as the sun began to set he worked up the courage to ask. 

”are you okay?“ 

”I’m fine!“ he snapped his lavender eyes flashing. 

Giyuu didn’t know what came over him ”fine be like that" he laughed bitterly ” but trust me i know why grief looks like“

Maybe it was how out of character it was or maybe it was because Sabito was finally fed up with him but Giyuu guessed it was because he was right. 

No matter the reason he found Sabito‘s to strong for such a young boy hands on his chest shoving him to the lush forest floor. As if time slowed down he saw Sabito’s eyes widen, as he reached out his hand to try to undo it but this just resulted in both of them falling to the ground. When Giyuu sat up he saw Sabito staring down at him with pine needles in his beautiful messy peach colored hair. 

”Sorry i pushed you“ he said almost completely monotone he want really sorry “but, look i’m not grieving okay! i don’t miss him, i hated him then and i hate him now.“ 

” You don’t have to say anything, but i think… we’ll maybe talking about it will help.“

“Just listen and i promise i’ll tell you why i’ve been unfair to you this week, I’ll tell you the truth“ 

”i just…” he sighed ” before  came here i lived with my dad and sister okay? and well i don’t really know her…" he was quiet for a very long time. Giyuu hadn’t know what to say so he just scooched closer intending to hug him like Sabito did when he woke up from nightmares but Sabito immediately grabbed him and held the smaller boy in his arms ”she, got sick and died when i was five, and my dad… he drank a lot. I used to tel myself he was two different people. stupid right? but i was convinced that my dad was the nice guy who i don’t loved me. and the other guy was the scary one, the one who yelled and threw things I never knew who was gonna come home.“

Sabito was quiet but his arms tightened around him. ”the other guy he… well you know“ 

Giyuu did in fact know. His parents weren’t that bad they disciplined him when necessary and once they’d died… Tsutako never hit him she said it was animalistic and she wouldn’t do it. The townsfolk told her he would be weak and incompetent because of this. 

”I’m sorry Giyuu,“ Sabito whispered 

”for what?“ he asked confused. 

” I promised i‘d tell you the truth, and i lied” He took a deep breath. ”while it’s true my sister died… it wasn’t because she was sick, her health was fine“ 

”then why…?” 

”it’s just we were low on money and we needed…” he stopped abruptly ”No, after all he did i’m sitting here making up excuses. He sold her… her dignity, her body, to any old bastard who would pay him. She couldn’t take it, she killed herself“ 

They just sat there together, as the sun set, in each others arms. 

"i’m sure you know how it ends, the demon came. but… you know he died as my dad. The man he hadn’t been in years and he got my away. I hated him i still do but…“ 

”sometimes you still miss him“ giyuu finished. 

”i… yeah“ 

Back in the present, he sat in the room and stared over at the boy across from him. Despite his better judgment he reached over and intertwined their fingers. He fell back asleep. 

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When Giyuu woke up the next morning he was alone. Sabitos always woke before him but usually woke him up right after.

I need to  apologize for freaking out yesterday. They must be mad about that.

 Besides the snow storm had blanketed the mountain completely and he knew it would take all three residents help to clear the training ground, not to mention the path up the mountain. He hurriedly dressed and pulled on Tsutako's haori as well as the scarf Urokodaki had given him and joined the pair outside. 

"Giyuu good to see your awake, we have a lot of work to do. Are you feeling up to it?" Urokodaki asked. 

"I'm fine" Why wouldn't I be? "But I would like to formally apologize for my behavior yesterday evening, I don't know what came over me I'm very sorry." He bowed apologetically. 

His master and Sabito stared at him in complete silence for what felt like forever. "Giyuu..." Urokodaki began. 

"What the hell?!" Sabito interrupted. "Don't apologize for that! It's almost the day... the day you arrived! you have every right to be upset!"

"But I caused more unnecessary work for both of you..." 

"What?! No! Giyuu none of that was work, you were upset and we tried our best to be there for you how is that work and even if it was you still don't have to apologize! This is literally what friends are for!" Sabito yelled, he looked surprisingly upset. 

Giyuu honestly didn't know what to say, on the one Hand he was happy that Sabito wasn't mad at him but he was also confused why was sabito so upset? 

"I-i'm sorry?" He asked his eyes wide.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Sabito took his shovel and stormed off, heading further up the mountain. 

You messed things up even worse and you don't even know what you did you're so stupid.

"Giyuu, are you all right?" Urokodaki said quietly. 

"yeah... I think so, but I'm not sure why he's so mad at me"

The older mad crossed the yard and laid a hand on his shoulder. Snow began to fall from the sky, lightly though a dusting compared to the blizzard the day before. It was beautiful the way the snow rested on the green of the pine tree's and the branches of tree's that've long since lost their leaves. 

"Listen, he isn't mad at you he just... He's upset that you think you need to apologize for being upset. He’s struggling with things as well but doesn’t want to cause you more problems by telling you. Oh Giyuu, he we care about you okay? We want you to be happy and I think we've had a pretty good year. We both understand that this time of year is hard for you and just want to help you, so let us help you. There was nothing wrong with your behavior yesterday."

"but... why should I get to be happy?" His voice was barely above a whisper. " You both know I don't deserve it" 

Urokodaki was quiet for a very long time, Snow continued to fall even though neither of them really noticed. 

" Giyuu, if someone you knew survived a horrible, horrible demon attack but lost everyone they loved would you blame them for the their deaths? Even though everyone in their village did because they didn't believe in demons? If someone they loved sacrificed their self so they could escape would you wish they'd also died? I wouldn't and neither would Sabito, or any-other demon slayer. Sometimes as demon slayers we don't make it in time and that's a pain in its self but we certainly wouldn't blame the untrained children, we wouldnt tell them that its all their fault when it was all thy could do to live? Giyuu," He paused " It wasn't your fault, there was nothing you could've done" 

Giyuu collapsed into his master's open arms, he cried and shook but for the first time he didn't feel like he wasn't allowed to. He certainly didn't feel good but the voices were a little quieter a little less mean. He felt safe. 

"I'm so- Thank you" He smiled, it felt real. 

The pair began clearing the snow from the training area again, although it was still snowing lightly. Urokodaki wasn't the most social guy but he continuously pointed out the names of the birds and other forest creatures they saw since Giyuu seemed interested. He was right to do so, in only a few weeks Giyuu would be able to easily name every animal on the mountain. 

An hour or so later 

The snow was beginning to pick up, as well as the wind and it seemed like another blizzard was on it's way...

"Um... Urokodaki sensei? I don't think we'll make much more progress today and we should probably find Sabito before the blizzard starts again..."

"You're right, can you go get him, I never should have let him run off! He'll be at the top of the mountain, just a little further from where we go to come down in the night, if he isn't there come back immediately its getting dark, I'll go look for him"

Giyuu nodded and dashed up the path. He was worried about his friend, it was beginning to get dark what if I demon found him?! If not it was still snowing really hard ih could be freezing ofr lost in the blizzard or both. He ran as fast as the rough terrain would allow. And that's when he realized two things...

1. All the training from the past year had actually paid off, he was stronger than he'd ever been in his life. He'd been running up the mountain for almost ten minuets and his breathing was still even, and his body felt mostly fine. 

2. He was really worried about Sabito, he knew he was probably fine but if anything happened to him Giyuu would probably never recover and the same went for Urokodaki. After a year he'd begun to see them as family, he needed them in his life.  And honestly he was so happy he decided to stay.

He made it to the clearing and pushed on, he’d never been father than this. The air grew thinner and thinner and he was struggling to maintain his even breathing. Although that was mainly due to the fact he‘d been running up the mountain at top speed for nearly twenty minutes. He came out of the bushes and nearly fell on his face. 

Before him was a small clearing full of graves. And in the center was Sabito on his nee‘s. 

"S-sabito?" The peach haired boy whipped around. 

"what are you doing here?!" He mumbled shouted as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"I… I wanted to say thank you, for trying to help me. For caring for me and you can always tell me if something’s bothering you okay?"

At that sabito practically tackled him, and they both collapsed into the snow. 

"you listen here! Don’t ever say your sorry for feeling upset again. Your allowed to feel however much you feel!" 

Giyuu tried to nod but it was hard since Sabito was pinning him to the ground. 

"oh, uh sorry" He said sheepishly and got up. 

"No, it’s uh fine… Urokodaki sent me to find you the storm is getting worse and we need to get back." The pair sat up. "but first, what is this place?"

"Well a lot of demon slayers, die in the final selection… or just in general honestly. But Urokodaki keeps a space for all of thier lost loved ones and them. So they have a place to come home to. There was a girl named Makomo, she was training when i first got her, she didn’t pass the final selection, but she was so strong and kind. Like a… a big sister to me and something i miss her, especially when i wish i could ask her advice" 

Giyuu understood missing someone especially like that. They sat up and hugged for a while. " We need to go back to the- we need to go home, but we can dig our way back tommorow if you want"

They ran home as fast as they could, the storm once again blew through the mountain burying everything. and once again the boys fell asleep with clasped hands. 

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sorry today this story is now on hiatus, I need time to focus on my mental health as well as other projects that im more interested thanks you for all of your support up until now!