Actions

Work Header

The Light Upon My Face

Summary:

Something was…off.

Leo’s demeanor felt different than usual. He was being less coordinated, but more than anything…he was happier. Although he put on a serious face and trained in the dojo for longer than he should’ve been earlier, here Leo was giggling and smiling like he was on pain meds again. Did he have rat flu or something?

 

Or,
Leo wakes Raph up in the middle of the night, but he’s acting strangely. Can Raph figure out how to help his brother, or will Leo continue to suffer in silence? (And, will a few bad habits of his come to light in the process?)

Notes:

PLEASE READ: Hey! Just want to add an extra trigger warning here since I didn’t want to spoil the fic in the tags. (SPOILERS)

TW: non-consensual drug use, sexual harassment, attempted sexual assault

Song/chapter titles from “Winter Hymn” by Shayfer James

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: I could walk into the ocean and be gone without a trace

Chapter Text

A crash thundered from the front of the bed. 

 

Raph’s head shot up at the noise. His fists flailed around awkwardly in his half-awake daze, nearly hitting his jaw. He squinted his eyes and saw a figure on the floor illuminated by his red lamp. It was hard to tell who it was in the dim light, but Raph could recognize any of his younger brothers in an instant.

 

“Huh…Leo?” Raph yawned, rubbing his eyes. He blinked dumbly a few times while he stared at his younger brother. “What’re you doing up?”

 

It wasn’t uncommon for his bros to visit Raph at odd hours of the night. The youngest would usually nudge Raph’s arm to wake him up while his breath hitched with loud sobs. Don, on the other hand, would quietly step in and latch onto his arm like a koala. His tolerance for touch depended on the day, but he normally sought it out after particularly rough nightmares.

 

When he was little, Leo would sometimes sneak in and lay beside the eldest. The typically rambunctious turtle refused to try and wake him up for whatever reason. Raph used to be a heavier sleeper, so sometimes he would wake up and be pleasantly surprised to find a little brother snuggling with him. However, unlike Donnie and Mikey, Leo hadn’t come to his room in the middle of the night in years.

 

“Oops,” Leo huffed out with a goofy smile on his face. The glow he hadn’t noticed emanating from his markings dimmed. “S’rry Raph-a-doodle.”

 

If this had happened before the invasion, Raph may have groaned in annoyance at the sight. He would have probably assumed Leo had come in to start another fight or to bug him. Now, though, Raph knew his brother wouldn’t do that to him. Leo would rather throw himself into the prison dimension again (bad thought bad thought) than genuinely upset his family.

 

“Are you okay?” Raph asked softly. Leo had somehow ended up on the floor, awkwardly leaning against the bed and a stuffed animal. 

 

“Yeeeee-ep!” Leo chirped, sloppily pointing finger guns at the eldest. “All good, Big Red. Just dropping in, haha.” He laughed at his own nonsensical joke. “Just like Jupiter Jim when he crash-landed on Earth. Which one was that again?”

 

Something was…off. 

 

Leo’s demeanor felt different than usual. He was being less coordinated, but more than anything…he was happier. Although he put on a serious face and trained in the dojo for longer than he should’ve been earlier, here Leo was giggling and smiling like he was on pain meds again. Did he have rat flu or something?

 

Leo rambled on. “The sixth one? Eighth? Donnie hated the contin-unity errors in that one.”

 

“Hey buddy, can you come up here for me?” Raph  tried to keep the nervousness and concern out of his voice but failed miserably. 

 

“Mn, sure.” Leo clumsily climbed up, his goofy smile never leaving his face. 

 

Raph wrapped an arm around his little brother. Though, as he pulled Leo close, he noticed an odd smell. “Did you brush your teeth?”

 

“Meh,” Leo mumbled. He leaned in to cuddle against Raph, but the snapping turtle instead tapped him on the head to grab his attention. “Y’re so warm. Like a big fluffy hen. A mother hen, that is. Hehe.”

 

Raph scanned his head for any trace of blood to no avail. He supposed it would be best to ask the medic directly. “Do ya have a concussion, Lee? Raph doesn’t know how to check for ‘em.”

 

“Do I?” Leo questioned curiously, not alarmed in the slightest. “Hmm.” He turned toward the lamp. “The light doesn’t hurt or anything, but my head feels kinda soupy. I’ve got a headache though. Bleh.” He snickered. “Don’t think I hit my head when I dropped in though.”

 

Raph rolled his eyes at the odd ‘joke’ and put a hand to his brother’s forehead. “No fever.” He sighed, unsure of what to do. Maybe Leo was just incredibly sleep deprived? No, that didn’t make sense since he was fine this afternoon.

 

“Raaaaaph.” The blue-clad mutant poked the space between his eyes. “Stop that. Your chasm’s going to get bigger.”

 

Raph’s faced scrunched up in confusion as he tried to decipher what Leo meant. “Stop…thinking?” He felt the other’s head bob up and down against his chest. “Well, Raph can’t until you tell him what’s up.”

 

“The sky?” Leo replied dumbly. “The city? I can hear the cars driving ‘round up there. What‘re they doing up so late? Guess I’m one to talk since I’m up late too. Or two to talk, huh? Tongue twister. Two-to-talk, two-t’-talk, two-two-talk…”

 

Raph was getting more worried about his brother’s gibberish monologues by the minute. “What’s wrong, Lee? What happened?”

 

“Eh? You mean why’d I come in here?” He slurred. “Mmmm…Why’d I- Oh right! You’re so strong, Raph; you can defeat anythin’. Raph’s way stronger than me, that’s fo’sure. Strongest guy I know, and trust me, I know a lot of strong guys.” 

 

“Eh? Uhm, thanks Lee.” Ignoring the third person referral, the praise felt odd when it was so much all at once. Leo preferred to compliment his family in the moment rather than showering him with love randomly like this.

 

Leo barely noticed his acknowledgment. “He’s the best of the best, stronger than the rest. Heh, that rhymes. Better than the wrestler he loves. Like Mikey’s so much better than Meat Sweats. Or Donnie with…” Raph cleared his throat, hoping to get him back on topic. “Wait, what was I saying?”

 

“You were explaining why you came to Raph,” Raph reminded him. Leo wasn’t one to forget what he was originally talking about that quickly. There were so many red flags, far too many for Raph’s liking.

 

Leo gave him a thumbs up. “Ohhhhh. Right, right. I came beeeeeecause…’cuz I knew that Raphie would protect me!”

 

Raph stiffened. “…From what?”

 

“Ssssome guy,” Leo shrugged one shoulder. “Weirdo. Had a bad feeling about him, but I knew that Raphie would keep me safe.”

 

He froze, horrified. “Wait- Wait, hold up.” Raph had so many questions and didn’t know which to ask first. “Who?”

 

Leo put a hand on his chin, clearly struggling to recall. “Dunno. Don’t think he’s a friend of Mondo’s.”

 

Raph’s eyes widened. Did Leo secretly go out for patrol? With a friend he’d never mentioned, no less? Raph hadn’t known Leo snuck out, and he likely never would have if his brother wasn’t in this state. “Who’s ‘Mondo’?”

 

Leo flashed him a dopey grin. “M’friend. He’s cool. And a gecko mutant. He invited me.”

 

“And how did you meet him?”

 

Leo made a face. “Around.” Raph raised an eyebrow, to which Leo stuck his tongue out playfully. “Can’t tell Raphie, no can do,” Leo recited like a mantra. “He’d—you’d—be all worry-warting everywhere. I c’n already smell your stress stink from here.” 

 

“You’d be able to smell it from there normally…?”

 

Leo tried to put a finger on Raph’s lips but missed by a long shot. “Shush. Shshshshshsh.” He groaned and rubbed the side of his head. “My head hurts. Can I sleep now?”

 

“No!” Raph rushed out a little too loudly. Leo glanced over at him, brow furrowed. “U-uhm, not yet. I really need to ask about a few more things.”

 

“Ughhhhhh,” Leo whined. “I knew you’d be all worry-y. It’s all good, bro-bro.”

 

“No, it’s not.”

 

“Yes it is.”

 

“No it’s-“ he sighed. “Bud, Raph’s just worried about you.” He nudged Leo’s shoulder with his arm. “Where were you earlier?”

 

The other closed his eyes. “Wiiiiith Mondo. Yep.”

 

“But where?” Leo pushed his head further into Raph’s chest in an attempt to hide his face. Eventually, Raph relented. “Okay, fine. Raph can work with this. Could you at least tell me why you’re so…loopy?”

 

Leo hummed noncommittally. “That’s a good question. I sssshould’ve been fine. Could’a sworn I only had a few drinks, nothin’ black-out worthy.”

 

Raph stopped breathing.

 

He felt like the world was caving in. Leo? His own little brother? Leo was drinking? How hadn’t Raph realized it sooner? When did he…why?

 

“‘m not a lightweight,” Leo barreled on, lost in thought. “I’ve got that superhero supermutant DNA, babyyyy. Takes so many drinks for ‘em to kick in. A few drinks can’t keep Neon Leon down. Mondo’s totally a lightweight. Haha. That’s why he sticks to weed. Guess he’s the des-ignited driverrr now.” He giggled. “Who needs cars when ya got portals?”

 

Raph couldn’t believe it. How long had this been going on? He was a terrible big brother. The situation didn’t feel real. It couldn’t be real. This shouldn’t be happening.

 

“Oh m’god wait,” Leo paused, drawing Raph out of his thoughts. The drunk (drunk, for pizza supreme’s sake) teen’s happy demeanor dissipated in an instant. “I saaaaw- I saw the same guy. The weirdo. The weird one. By the table. Was he by the table? He was by the table, wasn’t he? When I was watching Mondo dancing on the kitchen table…Weirdo was there, wasn’t he?” His eyes grew wide with fear. “My drink- I set it down for a sec. Only a second. But the guy had a bag. Weirdo with a weird bag. Thought he was just snorting shit. Holy. Hooooly shit. Holy shit. Holy shi-”

 

“Leo?” Raph asked, interrupting his spiral. The eldest didn’t know what in the world his brother was talking about. (He did. Raph had an idea of where this was going.)

 

Leo’s head snapped to look directly at Raph. He sat up and grabbed his older brother’s arms, gripping them with all the strength he had. “Raph. Raph. It tasted wrong. I thought it was a different bottle or something. It was wrong. Bad wrong. Shouldn’t make you feel fuzzy. I can barely stand. Did I…Did he…?”

 

“Oh, buddy,” Raph whispered as his brother’s eyes became glossy. “Lee…”

 

Leo turned his head upwards to look Raph in the eye. Silent tears fell down his cheeks. “He-he grabbed my arm ‘n said it was time to go home, a-and I tried to get him to let go and he wouldn’t and he touched me on my thighs ‘n-”

 

Suddenly, Leo put a hand up to his mouth. The color drained a little from his face. The eldest instinctively grabbed the trash can near his bed and handed it to his brother. 

 

Leo gagged as vomit poured out of his mouth, tear drops mixing with the bile. Raph rubbed the kid’s back while he lost his meager dinner. Eventually he coughed, saliva dribbling down his chin from his lips, and set the bin on the floor. It smelled like acid, vinegar and rotten eggs. Raph nearly threw up from the stench alone, so he pushed it further away with his foot. He grabbed a tissue from the box beside his bed and used it to clean Leo’s face.

 

The eldest couldn’t stop his thoughts from spiraling. He couldn’t fully wrap his brain around what Leo said. This didn’t happen to them, it only happened to dumb teens in movies. They wouldn’t go to parties and get drunk. They wouldn’t get harassed by strange men. This shouldn’t be happening. This shouldn’t be real. It certainly didn’t feel real. But Raph shouldn’t be focused on himself. He needed to help Leo.

 

“You alright, buddy?” Raph asked quietly. He put a hand next to Leo as a silent offer, but he didn’t notice.

 

Leo stared down at his legs, his breathing shallow. “I got roofff-roofied.”

 

Horror seeped into Raph’s bones. His breathing stuttered. “No.”

 

The blue turtle’s expression morphed into one of betrayal. “What?”

 

“No, no, I believe you!” Raph explained. “Sorry, Raph just meant he doesn’t know what to do.”

 

“Oh.” Leo’s lip wobbled. “I’m sorry.”

 

Raph didn’t know what to say. Right now he was so, so worried about him, but he was also…angry. He was angry at Leo for doing this to himself. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Leo repeated. “This’s all my fault. I was stupid. I’m sorry for making you deal withhh ‘is. It’s my fault.”

 

“We don’t have to talk about this now-”

 

“It’s all my fault!” Leo’s voice rose in volume and anger. “Got you all hurt. It’s all because of me. Your eye, Mikey’s hands, Dee’s shhhell. Stupid Leo being stupid and selfish ‘n cocky and stupid and worthless-”

 

Raph figured they weren’t talking about the alcohol anymore. 

 

“Leo, you’re not-”

 

Tears continued to stream down Leo’s face. “Stupid, stupid Leon. Shouldn’t’ve saved me. Then Mikes would be okay. Should’ve left me there. I shouldn’t be here. It’s not about me.”

 

Raph inhaled sharply. He wasn’t equipped to deal with this, and hearing Leo talk about himself this way broke his heart. Though, with how drunk he probably was, Raph doubted he’d remember this. “That’s it. Raph’s gonna call Donnie and Mikey.”

 

“…What?” Leo asked aghast. “No. No, no, nonono no! You can’t! They’re gon-gonna hate me!”

 

Raph frowned. “Of course they’re not gonna hate you, L. Raph just…Raph doesn’t know how to help.”

 

“Don’t tell them.” Leo’s eyes bored into Raph’s as his speech continued to slur. “Don’t. I don’ wanna bother thhhem.”

 

Raph looked away to think of an excuse. He wouldn’t be able to persuade Leo into anything on a good day, but this definitely wasn’t one of those.

 

“Wouldn’t you love a turtle pile, Lee?” Raph questioned sweetly. “I bet Dee could make an awesome pillow fort. Think about how cozy it would be.”

 

Leo’s mouth flattened into a line while he considered the offer. By the looks of it, he was too out of it to remember his previous qualms. A big grin broke out on his face. “Oooo. Sssounds nice.”

 

“Raph’s gonna go grab Don and Mikey. Hang tight!” Underneath him, he felt Leo’s head bob lazily in agreement with Raph. He removed himself from underneath Leo and headed toward the bedroom curtain.

Chapter 2: But I think I’ll stick around (I might like this place)

Notes:

It’s time…for the moment you’ve all been waiting for! 1! 2! 3! Ready? Miku Miku BEA-

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Raph hesitantly walked into Donnie’s room, not thrilled to have to wake him up. Both twins struggled with sleep. While Leo had enormous difficulty falling asleep, Donnie often refused or forgot to. Mikey spent a half an hour bugging and pestering Dee to make him agree to try getting some shuteye—and that was a miracle compared to how long it usually took.

 

But now, Raph had to ruin all of his littlest brother’s work. Still, Leo needed help right now.

 

…Correction: Raph needed help. He was entirely out of his league on this one. First he finds out his brother’s been sneaking out, then he discovers he was sneaking out to drink, and right after that bombshell drops he learns that Leo was roofied.

 

Someone attempted to hurt his brother. 

 

And, by the looks of it, he’d succeeded. Leo wasn’t able to hold onto a coherent conversation for longer than five seconds at the moment. His movements were sluggish and seemed to take a large amount of effort to make. Though, Raph had no idea how much of that was because of him being roofied and how much of that was because of the alcohol.

 

“Donnie?” Raph whispered, shaking his arm. “Wake up.”

 

“Mrph…f’ve more minutes,” Donnie mumbled sleepily. Though Raph logically knew he wasn’t speaking very clearly because of tiredness, it reminded him of how Leo talked earlier. Scarily so.

 

(Was Donnie drinking too?! He was aware of the harmful effects alcohol had on the body—but then again, so was Leo.)

 

“Bro, you gotta get up,” Raph repeated nervously.  In response, Donnie shoved his face into a pillow. “Dee!”

 

Raph’s slightly-raised voice jolted the soft shell awake. “Wuh-? What’s wrong?”

 

Raph huffed a sigh of relief, grateful that he was overreacting a second ago. (If he’d been correct in his assumption, he wouldn’t have known what to do. The idea of two possibly alcoholic brothers was terrifying.)

 

“It’s an emergency,” Raph said gravely. “Leo’s not doing so hot.”

 

Donnie sat up straight. “What kind of emergency? Physical? Mental? Emotional? Is there a villain on the loose? Did someone infiltrate the lair? Do-”

 

“I’ll explain after we grab Mikey,” Raph said. “It’s nothing life-threatening, but it’s important. Also, Raph would prefer if you did a medical exam to make sure he’s okay.”

 

“Fine,” Don replied curtly. Although he looked and sounded angry, Raph knew that it was just poorly-masked worry. He hopped off the bed and followed Raph to his door. “I would prefer to have the full context as soon as possible, but I suppose it would save you a second explanation.” 

 

They quickly walked on the cold concrete in the direction of Mikey’s train cart. The silence in the lair put Raph on edge. 

 

Donnie crossed his arms nervously. “Are you completely sure Leo is in suitable enough condition to be solitary at this moment?”

 

Despite the tense circumstances, Raph chuckled at his nerd-speak.“In English, Donnie.”

 

Don rolled his eyes. “Sigh. Should we be leaving him alone right now?

 

“Raph thinks he’ll survive a couple more minutes by himself,” he shrugged, but wasn’t fully convinced by his own words. “Though, we should hurry.”

 

They crept into Mikey’s bedroom slowly to avoid scaring him into consciousness. The youngest comfortably laid in his hammock, arms clutched close to his face.

 

“Angie?” Raph questioned. He rubbed Mikey’s arm. “Wake up, bud.”

 

“Hhhuh?” Mikey yawned and turned over to face him. “Whazzup?”

 

“Leo needs our help,” Raph replied anxiously. “It’s kind of an emergency.”

 

“Wait, what?” Mikey sat up quickly. “What’s going on?”

 

Donnie hummed in agreement. “I’d like to know that as well, Raph-a-la.”

 

“Uhm. W-Well,” Raph stuttered, unprepared for the inevitable barrage of questions. “Okay. First, Raph found out tonight that Leo’s been sneakin’ out.”

 

“If you hadn’t forbidden me from keeping notifications on the trackers, this wouldn’t have been an issue,” Donnie huffed. The other two gave him an annoyed look. “Fine, fine. A discussion for another time.”

 

Raph rolled his eyes. “Anyway, Leo teleported into Raph’s room a few minutes ago. However, he was acting…weird.”

 

“What kind of weird?” Mikey asked, concerned.

 

Raph crossed his arms and hugged them to his chest. “…Drunk weird.”

 

Michelangelo gaped. “Wait, he…?”

 

“And after my whole presentation on the dangers of alcohol consumption,” Donnie sighed. “That dumb-dumb.”

 

“That’s…not all,” Raph hesitated. “Turns out he’s been partying—maybe at yokai parties? I’m not sure. He mentioned a friend named ‘Mondo’ who apparently invites him.”

 

“But going to parties alone is dangerous, right?” Mikey chimed in. “That’s why we have the buddy system for going out. Even if he goes with his friends, what happens if he gets hurt or kidnapped and we don’t know where he is?”

 

Raph looked away. Donnie stared at him before it clicked. “Something happened.”

 

The eldest nodded sadly, refusing to look at his brothers. “He said that some guy spiked his drink.”

 

In an instant, the room fell silent. The only sounds that could be heard were their breathing and the echoing drips in the pipes above. Horror filled the younger mutants’ faces.

 

Hesitantly, Raph continued. “The guy tried to…to touch him. On his thighs. He tried to take Leo back to his house but he ninpo’d to Raph just in time.”

 

Donnie’s hands tightened into fists. He didn’t even try to hide the murderous fury in his voice. “I’m going to kill them. Whoever tried to fucking assault my twin. I’m going to kill them.”

 

“Seconded,” Mikey added.

 

“Third-ed, but now’s not the time for a manhunt,” Raph said seriously.

 

“Agreed,” Donnie determinedly nodded. “For now, we have an idiot to console.”

 


 

As the group neared Raph’s cart, the sound of soft sobs grew audible. Raph pushed the curtain to the side quickly and saw Leo curled up in a ball crying. Out of the corner of his eye, Raph could see Dee giving him an ‘I told you so’ side-eye.

 

“Leo?” Raph asked, worried as ever. Leo’s head shot up—as fast as he could while like this, anyway. “You okay?”

 

The warm red light from Raph’s lamp dimly illuminated the room. He could see tear stains on the edge of his pillowcase. Although the room normally felt cozy and safe, seeing his brother breaking down made it seem more ominous.

 

“Raphie!” Leo cheered, words still slurred. “You came ba-chk!”

 

Raph’s frown grew bigger. “Of course I did, Lee. Why wouldn’t I?”

 

“Thought you got annoyed ‘n left,” Leo replied. “That you were nev’a coming back. Wouldn’t’ve blamed ya.”

 

“Raph would never!” Raph gasped, affronted. How in the world could his brother ever think that? (Did Leo really think so lowly of him?)

 

“He would never,” Mikey agreed as he slid into the room behind Raph. “How are you holding up, Lee?”

 

Leo slowly raised his arms out. “M-Mmmikester! Get over here.”

 

Mikey ran over and tackled Leo in a hug. Rather than returning his embrace, Leon lowered his arms and settled for leaning his head on the box turtle’s shoulder contentedly. Raph supposed it must have been difficult to hold them up while he was so…

 

Donnie walked in and stood beside Raph. He looked down at his glowing arm gadget. “According to my research, someone who has been roofied should normally seek medical attention. However, since we obviously cannot contact the authorities—human or otherwise—I believe the vitals provided by my tracking chips should suffice.”

 

“Donald, we really need to have a talk about those chips,” Mikey scolded.

 

“Mmm, they come…handy,” Leo defended. “Good f’r medical ‘mergencies. I’d prefer to keep them. Don’t tell Dee I said that.”

 

Donnie raised an eyebrow. “I’m right here?”

 

Leo gasped. “Twinsie!” He awkwardly waved his right arm. Both Raph and Donnie both moved to be next to the bed. The blue-clad mutant smiled like he’d won a million dollars. “Everyone’s here.”

 

“Are you feeling better?” Mikey questioned. 

 

“Lil,” Leo replied casually. 

 

Donnie let out a breath of relief and turned off his wrist tech. “His vitals are relatively fine, considering the circumstances. Though Leo’s heart rate and blood-oxygen content are a little lower than they should be, they aren’t in dangerous ranges.”

 

Mikey smiled. “That’s great!”

 

Donnie put a finger to his chin in thought. “Well, I’m surprised that the alcohol and the drug were able to make him this…you know.” He frowned. “Given our mutant DNA, it takes much higher doses for, say, our meds to have any effect. The dose that was in his drink must have been greater than any human could handle. If Leo wasn’t a mutant…”

 

Raph and Mikey stared at Donnie in horror before glancing back at Leo. Knowing that things could have been much worse was a terrifying thought.

 

“Now,” Dee amended. “That’s not to say it was a human-adjusted dose. I’m unsure if there’s any difference between ones for yokai and ones for humans, so it could have been one meant for a normal Hidden City resident.”

 

Raph shuddered. “Were you in the Hidden City, Leo?”

 

“Yeah…?” Leo shrugged, clearly not paying attention. He observed all of his brothers intently. “What’re you guys doing here, anyway?”

 

“We heard you weren’t feeling well, so we decided to come try to cheer you up.” Donnie sat down on the bed on Leo’s other side.

 

“You came…for me?” Leo pondered before shaking his head. “No, that doesn’t make sense.”

 

“What do you mean?” Raph asked. “We’re your brothers; we want to help you.”

 

Leo blinked. “Ohhhh. Obligation. Makes sssense.”

 

Mikey’s eyes widened. “We’re not here because we’re obligated to! It’s because we love you.”

 

“Seconded,” Donnie repeated.

 

“Don still hasn’t told Raph the right word yet, but third-ed.” Raph bumped Donnie’s shoulder lightly.

 

Donnie elbowed him back. “Scoff. It would just be ‘seconded’ again, since we’re both seconding Mikey.” Mikey giggled at the banter. 

 

Leo gaped at them in confusion. “No, no, no. That’s not how this shhhould go. I don’ get it.”

 

Mikey paused. “You don’t…get that we love you?”

 

Leo crossed his arms. “It’s not about me. Should be worrying about you guys.”

 

Raph was getting awfully concerned by the amount of times Leo had said that. He had only said that to Leo to try getting him to take responsibility for being the leader and to stop fooling around. Really, he had meant it as ‘it isn’t all on you, you need to work with your team and listen to those around you.’ Had Leo really taken it to heart, but in the worst way possible? 

 

The fact that they only knew this because he was drunk and drugged out of his mind was horrifying. 

 

“You-” Donnie tried to interject. 

 

“You keep on overworkin’ yourself, Mikes,” Leo upsetly interrupted. “I bet your arm hurt a bunch after the stunt you pulled. ‘N Donnie, you’re holing yourself up in your lab again. Sensory issues are way worse now. Raphie’s hitting his feelings away in the dojo. You all have nnnnightmares. Don’t tell me not to worry ‘bout it!”

 

The room fell quiet as no one knew how to respond to Leo’s achingly accurate accusations. 

 

Mikey’s grip on the blankets underneath him tightened. “At least we try to talk about our problems.”

 

Leo huffed. “We all cope in our own ways.”

 

“Dear brother, do you call this coping?” Donnie scoffed. “Because, metaphorically speaking, you are currently as high as the Empire State Building.”

 

“My lover’s been waitin’ for me, just across the baaaar,” Leo sung jokingly, messing up the lyrics. 

 

“Alcoholism isn’t a good coping strategy,” Mikey- Doctor Feelings replied. 

 

“Hey, wha-?” Leo sputtered. “I’m not ‘n alcoholic! It’s only beeeeeen…uhm…two or three weeks!”

 

“Two or three weeks?!” Raph shouted, making Leo flinch at the sound. “How did we not…? Why would you…?”

 

The red-eared slider’s eyes grew glossy. “Oh no, are you mad? We’re fighting again, aren’t we?”

 

“That’s not-” Raph stuttered.

 

“We’re fighting again. Knew it! Nooo, now everything’s gonna be the woooorst. You’re gonna hate me all the time, Mikes and Dee-Dee are gonna be sad, and everybody’s gonna hate me! It’s all my fault. I’m sorry! Really, I am!”

 

The younger turtles were stunned, as was Raph. Hearing Leo be so honest about how he was feeling was jarring, to say the least, but realizing that’s how he felt? That Leo thought the family hated him? It hurt Raph more than anything. 

 

“It’s okay, Lee,” Raph soothed, sitting on the end of the bed and facing him. He reached out a hand to cup Leon’s cheek. “Raph’s not mad.”

 

Leo didn’t look him in the eye as he pushed away Raph’s arm. “But you should be. I don’ get why you saved me in the first place.”

 

Mikey gaped, tears filling his eyes. “Don’t say that!”

 

Leo’s eyes flashed with recognition of what he’d just admitted. “Mike-”

 

“No!” Mikey screamed. “You don’t get it! You don’t get what it was like to live in a world without you. To know that I wouldn’t be able to hear your jokes or see your smile again. Thinking that I’d have to live without our kind, silly, funny, amazing brother. That was hell, Leo. I don’t ever want to feel like that again.”

 

Both of their eyes filled with tears. Now that he thought about it, Raph’s eyes were getting a bit misty as well. Mikey’s heavy pants shook Leo out of his daze.

 

“You…” Leo hesitated. “Do you really mean that?”

 

Mike nodded his head decisively. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

 

“…Stick a cupcake in my eye?” Leo referenced with a small smile on his face.

 

Mikey burst out laughing. Raph found that his happiness was contagious, since he started giggling as well. Soon, all of them were cackling hysterically.

 

“Nardo,” Dee pushed through his laughter. “You seriously thought now was the perfect time for a freaking My Little Pony reference?”

 

“Comedy transcends mental breakdowns,” Leo answered sagely.

 

“And after my heartfelt speech too?” Mikey teased. 

 

Leo giggled uncontrollably. His smile widened until it looked more like a grimace. Tears sparkled in the corner of his eyes. Mikey clung onto him like a living teddy bear, like he was trying to squeeze all the sadness out of him. The laughter turned into sobbing. 

 

“I thought you guys h-ha-hated me,” Leo whispered. “I jussss wanted Raph to take back the title. Don’t know why you-you guys thought I’d be a good leader. All I do is mess everythin’ up.” 

 

“I would beg to disagree,” Donnie stated simply. “You’re smart—albeit not as smart as me, but intelligent in your own way—strategic, witty, considerate, caring-”

 

“I wouldn’t say I’m all that.” Leo covered his mouth with his hand, embarrassed. “It’s-it’s fine, you don’t have’ta try ‘n make me feel bet-beh-better.”

 

“It’s true!” Mikey argued. “You’re always able to lighten the mood. Whenever we’re feeling down, you cheer us up like it’s nothing! Plus, you come up with so many clever puns and jokes in the middle of fights. How cool is that?!”

 

“And I know I was hard on you for your plans before,” Raph added. “But you’re really good at making them!! Raph didn’t realize just how strategic you are until recently. You warned us about Big Mama, got the collar for the Shredder, and stopped the- the invasion!”

 

Leo’s body started to shake. He hid his face in Mikey's shoulder. “Sah-Stop.”

 

Raph patted his head. “Not until you know how much we love you.” 

 

“I-” Leo paused. “It’s just…hard to believe. I’m a screw-up-”

 

“Ah bump bup. I’m mentally drafting a multi-step trauma-coping and self-love-building agenda for you as we speak, Nardo,” Donnie declared. “You will understand the magnitude of affection we hold for you soon enough.”

 

“That sounds like a threat,” Leo replied nervously. 

 

“It is.” Donnie rubbed his twin’s shell in an attempt to comfort him. “I’m sacrificing my bad-boy image for you, so you better be appreciative.”

 

Leo chuckled. “Suuuure, you totally had that before.” 

 

“No more alcohol, ya hear?” Raph demanded. “If any of you guys has another sip before the age of twenty five, you’re going to be grounded for the rest of your lives.”

 

“Hey, don’t bring us into this-” Mikey protested.

 

“Twenty five?!” Leo whined. “The legal drinking age for humans is twenty one.”

 

Raph rolled his eyes. “Well, we’re not humans.”

 

“The legal age for yokai in the Hidden City is eighteen?” Leo questioned.

 

“Still no.”

 

“Hmph.” Leo pouted, sitting up. “No fair.”

 

Raph didn’t look him in the eye. “It’s not fair to do that to yourself either, L. We don’t like seeing you like that.”

 

“We can help you find different ways to cope!” Mikey suggested, grabbing Leo’s hands excitedly. “You could have a few meetings with Doctor Feelings-”

 

Leo’s shoulders hiked up. “Pass.”

 

Orrrr we can ask Barry to find you a therapist in the Hidden City?” He looked at Leo with the saddest puppy dog eyes known to man.

 

“…Maybe.” 

 

Raph smiled, happy at him at least considering getting help. “We’re here for you bud. Whatever you need.”

 

Dee put a hand on Leo’s. “If you ever need to hide a body, call me.”

 

Everyone turned to stare at Donatello. 

 

Donnie stared back judgmentally. “What??? Isn’t that included in ‘whatever you need’?”

 

Leo howled with laughter. “I think ‘m good right now, Dee.”

 

“I’m just saying!”

 

From in front of them, Raph let out a large yawn. “I know we’re talking about feelings and stuff, but can we head to bed soon? Raph’s tired.”

 

They all turned to Leo, who raised his hands in surrender. “Hey, what’re you looking at me for?”

 

Raph raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re going to stay put and snuggle with us if we have a turtle pile, right? Raph doesn’t know if he can handle another scare tonight.”

 

“Fiiiiiine.” Leo wiped a hand down his face. Under his breath he mumbled, “I could go for a turtle pile.”

 

Mikey pumped his fist. “Dee and I can set up! You and Raph get comfy.”

 

“Trust me, brethren,” Donnie grinned maniacally. “I- we will construct the most beautiful pillow nest the world has ever seen!”

 

“Woohoo!” Mikey cheered.

 


 

The bed had been turned into a fort of soft satin pillowcases and thick comfy pillowcases. As per Leo’s request, the lamp had been turned off so that he could sleep better. Surrounded by the warmth of his brothers, the eldest was content with the decision.

 

Raph listened to the heartbeats of his brothers on top of him. Mikey hugged his arm like it was a beloved stuffed animal while Donnie laid his head against Raph’s shell. Leo’s soft snores drifted through the air from where he was nestled between the three.

 

“You guys up?” Michelangelo whispered. “I can’t sleep.”

 

“Unfortunately, I share that sentiment,” Donnie groaned.

 

“Raph can’t either,” he rumbled tiredly. “Too busy thinking about Leo.”

 

The box turtle and soft shell nodded minutely in agreement.

 

Don sighed. “I can’t believe he resorted to drinking of all things. And after that whole seminar on the dangers of alcohol I held too.”

 

Mikey giggled. “Dee, you did that when I was seven.”

 

“Point still stands,” he argued. “Now that we are aware of the issue, how should we help him?”

 

“We should find him a therapist!” Mikey whisper-shouted passionately. “Doctor Feelings can hold a seminar on healthy coping mechanisms. Maybe we could do a safety watch on him as well?”

 

“I agree,” the snapping turtle replied. “Raph doesn’t want to leave him alone for a while.”

 

“This is all just so…complicated,” Donnie huffed. “I know I’m not normally one to help with, bleugh, feelings, but I don’t want to just sit by and do nothing.”

 

Raph related to Donnie’s sentiment. He had tried his best to apologize to Leo and make up for how he’d treated him before the invasion. Yet, Leo continued to overwork himself to the brink of passing out and lashed out at anyone who begged him to open up. After being so upset at him for acting selfishly, it was odd for Raphael to see him running himself into the ground.

 

Mikey leaned in closer to Raph’s arm. “I think the thing that Leo needs most right now is affirmation. If his self esteem is really in the gutter, then we just need to fish it out!”

 

“Ignoring the terrible analogy, I believe that seems reasonable. Leon always acted as though he thought he was hot shi-” Donnie cut himself off, aware of the eldest’s presence. “Stuff. However, after what we’ve witnessed tonight and recently, I think we can reasonably say that was an act.”

 

Raph remembered how Leo had spoken to him on the Kraang ship. His little brother had given up and let Raph- He-

 

Leo had stopped fighting and accepted what he thought would be his death. That moment haunted Raph’s nightmares. 

 

“Raph had always assumed he had too big of an ego.” He sighed. “Guess Raph was wrong about that too, huh?”

 

“Now that I think about it…” Donnie trailed off. “Did we ever really compliment Leo? We teased him, sure, but I can’t recall the last time I praised him for…anything.”

 

The group paused to consider the question. Raph could recall all the fights they’d had in the few months prior to the invasion. He remembered all of the cruel things he’d said to his little brother in the heat of the moment. Even before the Shredder, he could only think of ways he had teased Leo. Unlike Dee and M, Leo had always seemed confident and self-centered.

 

As more time passed, the clearer the answer to Donnie’s question became.

 

“Geez. He really became his only hype man, huh?” Mikes chuckled bitterly. 

 

“We’ll make this right,” Raph confidently stated. “Since we know what’s wrong, we can help fix it. Raph is sure of that.”

 

“You’re right,” Mikey agreed happily. “We’ll show him we love him and teach him how to love himself.”

 

The three smiled, filled with hope. Raph gently rested his hand atop Leo’s palm. 

 

No matter what happened next, they would be there for Leo.

Notes:

Woo, it’s done! The first fic I’ve ever finished. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out! I was planning on adding in what would happen the next morning, but I didn’t really want to in the end. If anyone ever wants to do that, feel free! :D

Notes:

Yes, I did kiss the brick before I threw it at your head :)

Don’t worry, this will have a happy ending! Raph’s trying his best, but he’s not at all equipped to deal with this situation lol
I hope y’all enjoyed! (I’m still writing Weightless btw, I’ve just been taking a break from writing it for a few weeks now)