Archive of Our Own ^beta

• i want someone to chase after me, i want my movie scene in the pouring rain

Eddie nudged Buck with his elbow, gaining his attention. “What's the name of the main character?”

“Uh, what?” Buck stammered, his brow furrowing as he tried to recall. “I, uh, I can't remember, man. Sorry.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and leaned back. “You weren't even watching the movie, were you? You've been on your phone for the past hour. So, what had you so busy?"

Buck hesitated, not meeting Eddie's gaze. "It's nothing. Just stuff."

Eddie, noticing Buck's uneasiness, decided to take a peek at Buck's phone screen. He leaned over and saw a list of houses and apartments. "Looking for a new place to live?" Eddie felt a twinge of hurt. "Are you thinking of moving out? Why? Is it something I did? Or Chris did?”

Buck’s eyes widened, and he immediately locked the screen, shoving the phone into his pocket. “No, no – Eddie, it’s not like that.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, arms crossing defensively. “Sure looks like it.”

Buck sat forward, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not leaving because of you. Or Chris. God, no. That’s the last thing I’d want. Living with you guys has been... honestly, the best part of my life lately.”

Eddie’s jaw tensed. “So, what? What were you planning? You were just going to sneak off without saying anything? Hope I didn’t notice you were packing?”

Buck winced. “I wasn’t packing, Eddie, I was just looking. It doesn’t mean I’ve made up my mind.”

“That’s not the point,” Eddie snapped, standing now. “We live in the same house. With Chris. And you didn’t think maybe I deserve to know what was going on in your head before I saw it on your damn phone?”

Buck stood too, hands raised in surrender. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it–”

“Well, congratulations, you did.” Eddie shot back, voice sharper than he meant.

Buck’s mouth opened, then shut again. His chest rose with a breath he didn’t let out. “I’m not doing this right now.” He muttered. He turned and walked out of the room.

Eddie stayed frozen for a second, heart pounding. Then he heard the back door creak open and the sound of rain.

He moved toward the window and saw Buck standing in the yard, getting soaked. Arms crossed, head tilted back like he was trying to let the rain wash the tension off his skin.

“Damn it.” Eddie murmured, dragging a hand down his face. He stepped out after him. Buck didn’t turn when he heard the door.

Eddie stopped a few feet behind him. “You’re going to catch a cold.”

Buck laughed once, humorless. “Better than catching a fight I didn’t want.”

Eddie flinched. “I didn’t mean to yell.”

“I know.” Buck said quietly, still not facing him. “But you did. And I didn’t come out here to be chased . I just needed a second.”

Silence. Just rain hitting the patio and the grass. Then Eddie stepped forward, his voice lower, softer. “You scare me sometimes, Buck.”

Buck finally turned. “What?”

“When you shut down like that. When you start planning things in your head without letting anyone in.” Eddie looked him in the eyes. “You disappear before you even leave.”

Buck swallowed. “I didn’t mean to disappear.”

“Then don’t.” Eddie took another step closer, not caring about the rain. “Don’t walk away. Don’t leave.”

The rain kept falling, soaking them through, but neither of them said anything or moved to go back in.

Buck blinked rain out of his eyes. “You’re out here with me in the rain. You know this is dramatic as hell, right?”

Eddie huffed a laugh through his nose. “You walked out like it was a movie scene . I figured I’d match your energy.”

Buck gave a quiet, wet laugh and looked down, his shoes squelching in the grass. Then Eddie added, more quietly. “Just… don’t leave me, okay?”

Buck looked up. “Okay.”

“And next time,” Eddie said, “you watch the damn movie.”

Buck smiled. “Deal.”

• i want sunflowers because they're my favorite, i want someone to show up at my house unannounced 

The Buckley-Han living room was filled with joy, stuffed animals lined up like an audience, and Buck sitting cross-legged on the rug, a toy dinosaur in one hand and a tiara askew on his head.

“Okay, but this dinosaur has wings, so he can totally fly to the tea party.” Buck reasoned.

Jee-Yun, her hands on her hips, narrowed her eyes at him. “Dinosaurs can’t fly, Uncle Buck.”

“This one can.” Buck said. “Special mutation.”

Before she could argue further, a knock came from the front door. Buck stood up and headed over. “Hold that thought. Gotta check if that’s the Royal Dinosaur.”

He opened the door and Eddie stood there, holding a small bouquet of sunflowers in his hand. His hair was slightly mussed.

“Eddie?” Buck asked, a little caught off guard. “What are you doing here?”

Eddie scratched the back of his neck. “Sorry for coming unannounced . Chris is having a sleepover at Wilson’s. House is too quiet. And I didn’t really like the idea of you being here with two wildlings alone.” He shrugged. “Figured I’d come help. Give you backup.”

Buck blinked again, genuinely touched. “You drove all the way here to be my babysitting backup?” He tilted his head, smirking. “And the sunflowers?”

Eddie looked down at them like he just remembered they were in his hands. Then, without answering, he looked past Buck. “Jee-Yun!” He called. “C’mere, baby . I need your help.”

She came running. “Uncle Eddie!”

Eddie crouched down and handed her the flowers. Then, he leaned in close, whispering something in her ear.

Buck watched, confused and a little curious, as Jee-Yun’s face lit up. They whispered together for a moment longer. Then, Jee-Yun walked up to Buck and held the flowers out to him with both hands. “These are for you, Uncle Buck.” She said proudly.

Buck blinked, taking them gently. “They’re beautiful. Thank you, Jee.”

She beamed. “Uncle Eddie picked them ‘cause they’re your favorite.”

Buck looked past her, to Eddie, who was still crouched, watching with an unreadable expression.

“Did he now?” Buck asked, his voice soft.

Eddie stood, meeting his gaze. “I saw the flower shop. Thought it might make her happy to give you something.”

Buck swallowed, his fingers tightening slightly around the stems. The room suddenly felt a little too quiet, even with the background noise of Bobby’s babbling. “Well,” Buck said finally, “you made both of us happy.”

Eddie’s smile was small but real. “Good.”

“Uncle Eddie!” Jee-Yun called, already pulling at his hand. “You have to wear a tiara, too!”

Buck laughed. “Welcome to the kingdom, man.”

A moment later, they were both on the floor, tiaras in place, sunflowers in a vase. Buck couldn’t help but glance over at Eddie with a quiet smile.

It felt like something solid. Something good. Maybe even something real.

• i want hands held, i want the love letters

The firehouse was quiet, a moment between calls. In the corner of the common area, Buck sat on the couch, legs stretched out, a cup of coffee resting on the armrest. In his hands was a thick, old copy of “Pride and Prejudice.”

He was so focused that he didn’t notice Eddie approaching until he flopped down on the opposite side of the couch.

Eddie peered over at the book and blinked. “Okay, no offense, but you’re reading Jane Austen?”

Buck looked up, a little sheepish. “Yeah.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Since when did you develop a taste for period romance?”

Buck closed the book slightly, marking his place with a finger. “Since Chimney made me watch the 2005 Pride and Prejudice movie with him.”

Eddie blinked again, deadpan. “Let me guess, he quoted every line.”

Buck laughed. “Exactly that. I thought it’d be boring, but…” He shrugged. “It kinda got me.”

Eddie smirked, amused. “Got you how? Like, you’re emotionally invested or…?”

Buck leaned his head back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling with a dramatic sigh. “Look, man. I just wanted to mock it. I tried to mock it. But then there was this one scene – Lizzie’s walking in the rain, and Darcy shows up all tense and brooding and totally useless with his feelings–”

“Oh no,” Eddie said, grinning. “You’ve got a crush on Mr. Darcy.”

“I might have,” Buck admitted. “He’s emotionally constipated and makes everything worse by trying to fix it with weird intensity. I relate.”

Eddie chuckled, nudging him with his knee. “So you’re saying I should be worried if you start wearing cravats and riding horses in the rain?”

Buck shrugged. “I’m not not making any promises.”

There was a short beat of silence as Eddie reached for Buck’s coffee and took a sip without asking. “So,” He said casually, “do I get to know if you're more of an Elizabeth or a Darcy?”

Buck shot him a sideways glance. “I’m obviously Bingley. Sunshine and terrible timing.”

Eddie nodded thoughtfully. “I can see that. So what, does that make me Darcy?”

Buck muttered under his breath. “If the brooding fits.”

Eddie smirked, leaning back. “Well, then. I better start practicing my longing glances.”

Buck tried to focus back on the book, but he was smiling now, and the words swam a little on the page.

Eventually, the shift ended. Buck had made it home first, keys tossed on the counter, shoes kicked off, hair still messy. He’d changed into sweats and was curled on the couch.

He kept glancing toward the front door.

Eddie had said, “I’ve got something to take care of.” and waved him off with a casual smile. But that had been nearly two hours ago.

Just when Buck started debating whether to text him or let it go, the front door opened. Eddie stepped inside, slightly breathless, a paper-wrapped package in his hands.

“Sorry,” He said, shrugging off his jacket. “Took longer than I thought.”

Buck sat up. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, walking over and holding out the package. “Just had to make a stop. Here.”

Buck raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“Open it.” Eddie said simply.

Buck took it and carefully tore away the paper. His eyes widened. Inside was a special edition of Pride and Prejudice with the love letters of Mr.Darcy. Buck’s mouth parted slightly. “Eddie… this is–”

Eddie shifted, a little nervous now. “I saw it online after you talked about the book. Thought maybe… you’d want your own book.”

Buck stared at the book, then at Eddie.

Without a word, he reached out and took Eddie’s hand. He held it tightly, grounding himself, blinking a few times like he was trying to memorize this exact second.

“Thank you.” Buck said quietly, his voice thick with something warm and full. 

Eddie held his hand back, then met his gaze and couldn't break it to save his life.

• i want poems written about me, i want songs sung together

Buck leaned over the high table, laughing at something Chimney had said, while Eddie nursed a beer beside him, eyes crinkling with amusement.

Then Maddie turned, a sparkle in her eyes. “Okay, you two are up next.”

Buck blinked. “What?”

“Yeah,what?” Eddie added, frowning. “We didn’t sign up.”

“I did it for you.” Maddie said, far too innocently.

Hen smirked, raising her glass. “Come on, guys. Live a little.”

Buck looked at Eddie, eyes wide. “We’re not doing this, right?”

Eddie groaned, but his smile betrayed him. “We are absolutely not doing this.”

Still, their protests were half-hearted at best, and in the end, their friends won. They dragged themselves toward the small stage.

“We’ll regret this.” Buck muttered.

“Already there, bud.” Eddie said under his breath as they stepped up, squinting at the screen in front of them.

The opening chords played. Maddie was beaming from the back of the bar, waving enthusiastically.

The lyrics lit up on the monitor. Buck looked at Eddie. Eddie looked at Buck. And then the lyrics started scrolling. For a beat, neither of them sang. Then Buck started laughing and grabbed the mic. “Screw it. Let’s do this.”

As the first verse of Change My Mind rolled on, Buck and Eddie were still playing it for laughs – Buck gesturing dramatically like he was actually a part of One Direction, Eddie mouthing along with exaggerated seriousness. 

But then the music softened, drifting into the chorus and the screen lit up with the next set of lyrics:

Never felt like this before, are we friends or are we more?
As I'm walking towards the door, I'm not sure…

Buck’s voice faltered. He glanced sideways, and Eddie was already looking at him. 

Something in the air shifted. It was subtle. No one in the bar noticed, too busy clapping along, but in that instant, everything between them felt closer. 

Buck swallowed, his eyes on the screen, but he wasn’t reading the lyrics anymore. He already knew them. His voice was softer when he sang the next line.

But baby, if you say you want me to stay…

Eddie’s voice joined his, steadier now, and not just playing along. He wasn’t smiling. Not exactly. But there was something in his expression – vulnerability.

I’ll change my mind…

They weren’t looking at the crowd anymore. Or the screen. Or even their friends. Just at each other.

'Cause I don’t wanna know I’m walking away…
If you’ll be mine…

Time slowed for a moment.

Won’t go, won’t go…

Then the next verse kicked in, Buck blinked, laughing again, face red for reasons the others could misread. Eddie rubbed the back of his neck and offered Buck a half-smile, sheepish and unreadable.

The spell was gone. But it had been there. Just for a second.

• i want to sit on a beach and watch the sun setting, i want stargazing

Buck was stretched out on the couch, legs tangled in a throw blanket, a half-eaten bowl of popcorn resting on his stomach. He was perfectly content, mind half-zoned, body completely relaxed.

The front door creaked open.

“Buck?” Eddie’s voice called from the entryway.

“In here.” Buck replied without moving much, lazily lifting a hand in greeting.

Eddie walked into the room still wearing his jacket, hair a little windblown, cheeks slightly pink from the cool air outside. He stopped just inside the doorway, eyes fixed on Buck.

“Get dressed.” He said.

Buck blinked at him, furrowing his brow. “Why?”

Eddie just smiled, calm and warm. “Just trust me.”

Buck studied him for a moment, then sighed, setting the popcorn bowl aside and tossing the blanket off. Ten minutes later, they were in Buck’s car, but Eddie was behind the wheel. Buck shot him a sideways look as they pulled out of the driveway.

“Okay, seriously, what’s going on?”

Eddie kept his eyes on the road, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I just realized we haven’t had time alone in a while. You and me.”

Buck leaned back in his seat, the tension in his shoulders easing as understanding settled in. He looked out the window, smile growing slowly. Whatever Eddie had planned, it didn’t really matter.

By the time they reached Eddie's decided destination –  the coast, the sun was starting to sink low, casting long streaks of gold and rose across the sky. The beach wasn’t crowded. Eddie had clearly chosen it for that reason.

Buck climbed out of the passenger seat, stretching as the wind tugged at his hoodie and the scent of saltwater hit him. “I should’ve guessed you were bringing me here.” He said with a half-smile, glancing over at Eddie. “ The beach at sunset ? You’re really raising the bar.”

Eddie just shrugged with a quiet grin. “Felt like the kind of place we needed.”

They walked down to the sand together, shoes abandoned near the truck, the cool grains shifting beneath their feet. Eddie led them closer to the water, but far enough that they could lie down without getting soaked by the incoming tide.

Buck tossed down one of the blankets Eddie had grabbed from the back seat, and they both flopped onto it, shoulders brushing as they settled in. The sun melted into the horizon. Neither of them said much at first. They just watched, listened to the waves crash in slow rhythm, and breathed in the air.

Eventually, Buck broke the silence. “I forget how good this feels. Just… stopping.”

Eddie nodded slowly beside him. “I think we forget we’re allowed to.”

Their conversation started slow – they talked about the calls they’d been on recently, the weird things Christopher had been into lately and Buck’s latest attempt at baking Bobby’s favorite blueberry muffins. But as the sun disappeared completely and the stars began to rise, their voices softened. The conversation drifted deeper without them meaning to. Things that didn’t usually make it into their everyday talk.

Eddie talked about feeling stretched thin – between work, parenting, expectations. Not in a dramatic way. Just honest. Buck confessed he sometimes didn’t know where he fit anymore – like he was floating between moments, waiting for the next big thing without knowing what it even was. But there was no pressure to fix it. No grand declarations. They lay back on the blanket, side by side.

“Do you ever think about how small we are?” Buck asked suddenly. “Like… we’re just these little blips under this giant sky.”

Eddie glanced over at him. “Yeah. But it doesn’t feel scary when you’re not alone in it.”

Buck turned to meet his gaze. The wind blew softly between them, carrying the scent of the sea and something unspoken.

“No,” He said quietly. “It doesn’t.”

• i want to be missed when we spent too long apart, i want nights in together

Buck stepped through the front door, duffel slung over his shoulder, the ache of the long way from Hershey still settling into his bones. The house was quiet for a moment, and then he heard footsteps. Christopher rounded the corner, headphones hanging around his neck.

“Took you long enough.” Chris said, a smile tugging at his mouth.

Buck huffed a soft laugh and dropped his bag.  Chris stepped closer, then pulled him into a quick, one-armed hug. “Welcome home, Buck.”

“Thanks.” Buck said. He glanced past Chris and found Eddie standing in the kitchen doorway, arms crossed, a small, unmistakable smile tugging at his lips.

“You look like hell.” Eddie said.

Buck grinned faintly. “Yeah, well, that's the Buckley family glow. How’ve you guys been?”

“We’ve been good.” Eddie said, walking over and pulling him into a firm hug.

“ I missed you , man.” Eddie said against his shoulder. “You okay?”

Buck breathed in the scent of home and the familiar warmth of Eddie. “Better now.”

Eddie pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes scanning his face like he was checking for damage.

“How was it?”

Buck gave a tired little laugh, the kind that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Exactly as you’d expect. Five days of smiling through the tension for Maddie’s sake, listening to my mom pretend everything’s fine and my dad talk about things he thinks I should be doing instead of the life I’m actually living.”

Chris let out a loud snort from behind him. “That sounds like torture.”

Buck turned, grinning. “It was.”

“I figured it’d be like that.” Eddie said quietly. “So I planned something.”

Buck tilted his head, curious. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Eddie’s expression softened. “Pizza night, just us. Chris picked the movie. Some animated thing about singing animals and we’ve got beer for later.”

“Dad said you’d need a soft landing,” Christopher added.

Buck’s throat went tight.

Of course Eddie knew. Of course he understood that Buck would come back from that trip worn down in ways no one else would see. And of course he’d done what he always did, made a space where Buck could just be. Home.

“God, I love you guys.” Buck said, his voice barely above a whisper as he looked at both of them.

Eddie smiled and reached out, giving Buck’s arm a light squeeze. “Yeah, yeah. We know.”

They ate on the couch, the three of them squished together. Chris made fun of Buck’s taste in music, and Eddie kept nudging Buck with his foot whenever he caught him zoning out. It was all easy. Warm.

When the movie ended, Chris stood up, stretching. “Alright. I’m out. Good night.” 

Buck gave him a lazy salute. “Night, superman.”

Chris rolled his eyes with the practiced skill of a teenager but didn’t hide the grin as he disappeared down the hall. When they were alone, Eddie reached over, taking Buck’s hand gently.

“You okay?”

Buck leaned back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before answering. “I am now.”

Eddie squeezed his hand. “Good.”

And for the first time in days, Buck let himself believe it.

• i want nights out together, i want planned futures

The bar was loud, too loud for Buck's mood, if he was being honest. Laughter and music tangled together in the air, glasses clinking, voices overlapping. The whole 118 was gathered in the booth, squeezed together like it was a reunion, which in some ways it was. Most of them had brought their significant others. Hen and Karen were tucked close in the corner, sharing a plate of nachos. Chim and Maddie were deep in conversation with Bobby and Athena, something about vacation plans.

Buck sat at the edge of the group, nursing a drink he didn’t really want. He smiled when someone cracked a joke. Laughed when it felt right. But he wasn’t really in it. 

Then, a hand brushed his knee under the table. He looked over. Eddie gave him a glance and a nod toward the back of the bar. “C’mon.”

Buck raised an eyebrow, but didn’t ask. He slid out of the booth without a word, following Eddie as he weaved through the crowd, away from the noise and heat. They ended up in a corner near the windows, where the music was lower and the light was softer. There was an empty high-top table, half-lit by the neon beer sign above.

Eddie leaned against the wall beside it, arms crossed, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “They’re in couple mode tonight.”

“God, right?” Buck laughed, shaking his head. “I love them, but I don’t need a ten-minute debate on all-inclusive resorts.”

Eddie gave him a crooked smile. “Thought you might want some air. Or at least less talk about spa packages.” Eddie took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking... maybe it’s time we look for a bigger place.”

Buck tilted his head. “What?”

“A house.” Eddie said, voice casual but eyes focused. “With a bigger kitchen. And bigger bedrooms.”

Buck blinked. His mind went immediately to one place. “Wait–” He turned toward Eddie, voice careful. “Are you uncomfortable sharing a bed with me? I can always crash on the couch more often if that’s–”

Eddie cut him off with a soft laugh, shaking his head. “No, Buck. That’s not what I meant.”

Buck frowned, uncertain. “Then what did you mean?”

Eddie turned his body slightly, facing him more fully now. “Chris is growing up. He’s going to want more space soon. Privacy.”

Buck nodded slowly, waiting.

“And the kitchen… I like making breakfast with you. I want more mornings like that. I want a kitchen big enough for us to move around in without knocking elbows or fighting over counter space.”

Buck was quiet for a long beat. “So… it’s about all of us. You, me, and Chris.”

Eddie gave a half-smile, softer now. “Yeah..”

Buck looked down at the table, then back up at him, eyes shining with something he didn’t quite have the words for. “You sure about that?”

Eddie smirked. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Tonight just made it clearer. Watching everyone else… I don’t know, it made me realize I already have what I want. I just want more of it.”

Buck’s chest felt like it was full of warm light. “I’d like that,” He said, voice quiet. “The house. The breakfasts. The planned future .”

Eddie bumped his knee gently under the table. “Good. Then maybe this weekend, we can start looking.”

Buck laughed. “You don’t waste time.”

“When you know, you know.” Eddie said simply, shrugging.

Buck’s smile turned into something softer, more reverent. “Yeah. I guess you do.”

• i want playful fights over whose eye color our babies would have, i want pictures of us laughing

Ravi had just come back from break, scrolling through photos on his phone when he suddenly laughed and held it up for everyone to see.

“Okay, tell me I’m not going crazy.” He said, spinning the screen around to show a photo of Buck and Christopher. “Is it just me, or do Buck and Chris look exactly alike in this picture?”

Buck was grinning in the photo, chocolate smeared above his lip like a mustache. Chris was next to him, matching grin, same chocolate mustache.

The group leaned in to look. Buck laughed. “That was years ago. Chris dared me to eat a pancake without hands. For science.”

“Bad influence.” Eddie said, but his eyes were soft, amused.

“No way.” Buck shot back, mock-offended. “That was quality bonding.”

Ravi pointed at the photo again. “I’m serious. The way you two smile, it's identical. Honestly, you’d think Chris was your biological kid, not Eddie’s.”

That got a round of laughter, mostly at Eddie’s mock gasp of betrayal. “Years of fatherhood, and you hand him over to Buck for five minutes and suddenly they're clones?”

Hen chuckled, still looking at the photo. “Honestly? Ravi’s right. They do look alike. The only thing missing is Buck’s eyes on Chris.”

Chimney leaned back, smirking. “Alright, but now I’m curious. What eye color would the baby have if Buck and Eddie actually had a kid together?”

Buck almost choked on his water. “What? Okay, first of all, my genes are elite.”

Eddie gave him a sideways glance. “Elite?”

“Yep.” Buck said, tapping under his eye. “Ocean blue. Iconic. If we had a kid? That’s the eye color right there.”

“Uh-huh,” Eddie said, trying not to laugh. “Except brown’s a dominant trait. Basic biology. Sorry, but our kid’s getting my eyes .”

“Please,” Buck said with a grin. “Blue eyes always win. They’d have my eyes and your ridiculous sass and attitude.”

“Sounds like a nightmare.” Hen added with a snort.

Chimney grinned. “A tiny Buck-Eddie hybrid running around.”

Bobby just shook his head, half-smiling at the chaos. “I’d give that kid a week before they started taking over the firehouse.”

Buck leaned back in his chair, nudging Eddie with his shoulder. “Admit it. They’d be adorable.”

Eddie nudged him back. “Only if you handled bedtime.”

“I would handle bedtime!” Buck protested. “I already handled bedtime! Who read Chris all those stories with made up voices?”

“You're getting old now, you’d fall asleep two pages in.” Eddie said, shaking his head, fond exasperation in his voice.

Their friends were still laughing, tossing out more ideas but Buck and Eddie had slipped into their own little rhythm. Familiar, easy, and just a little too comfortable for two guys who still called each other best friends.

The conversation moved on eventually, but not before one more look passed between them. A quiet, knowing one.

Later that night, the house was still.

Buck was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, shirt off, hair damp from the shower. Eddie was sitting on the edge of the bed, already in sleep clothes, phone in hand. His screen lit up with a new message from Bobby. A photo. Eddie opened it, and everything slowed for a second.

It was them, he and Buck, mid-laugh, eyes squinting with joy, sitting way too close together as usual. Eddie didn’t even remember the moment, but somehow it felt so them. Natural. Easy. Like the way family looks when they don’t realize they’re being watched.

Attached was a simple message: “Couldn’t not capture this. Just look at you two. – Bobby N.”

Eddie stared at the photo for a long beat. Then he turned the phone around and held it up as Buck walked into the bedroom.

“Look what Bobby sent.” Eddie said.

Buck walked over, he smiled immediately. “That’s from today?”

“Yeah.” Eddie said, his voice a little quieter now.

Buck tilted his head, studying it. “We look happy.”

“We are.” Eddie said then just locked the screen, tossed the phone on the nightstand, and leaned back into the pillows.

Buck climbed in next to him, blankets rustling, and they settled in like they always did. Buck's hand brushed against Eddie’s under the blanket, and neither of them moved away.

“I liked that photo.” Buck said after a minute. “You should frame it.”

Eddie smirked in the dark. “Yeah?”

“Why not?” Buck said. “Feels like family.”

Eddie turned his head toward him. “It is family.”

Buck smiled to himself, eyes closing. “Then we’re doing alright.”

• i want the last slice of the toast because it's always my favorite, i want the right side of the bed

The house – new house –  was finally quiet. Chris had gone to bed an hour ago, and now the only sounds left were the hum of the refrigerator and the faint creak of the hardwood beneath Eddie’s steps.

Buck sat on the kitchen counter, socked feet swinging slightly, watching Eddie move around in the dim light above the stove. The kitchen was bigger now – roomier, brighter, with space enough for two people to cook without running into each other every time they turned around. Not that Buck minded running into Eddie.

Eddie opened the breadbox, peered in, and gave a soft sigh. “Only three slices left.”

Buck chuckled. “I swear we go through bread like we’re feeding a football team.”

Eddie didn’t respond at first, just pulled out the last three slices and laid them on a cutting board. He grabbed the peanut butter from the cupboard, the jelly from the fridge, and started spreading them with quiet precision.

Buck watched him closely. The easy way Eddie moved in this kitchen, like he belonged here, like they belonged here.

When Eddie finally turned around, he held out a plate. Two mismatched end-slice toasts, one with peanut butter, the other with jelly, pressed together into a lopsided sandwich.

Buck took it, eyebrows raised. “You used the ends for me?”

Eddie shrugged, casually. “They’re your favorite.”

Buck blinked, taken aback by how softly the words landed. “You could’ve taken the regular slice.”

“Nah,” Eddie said, moving to make his own sandwich with the last plain piece. “Would’ve felt wrong. Those end slices are Buck thing.”

Buck looked down at the uneven sandwich in his hands, then back up at Eddie, something tightening in his chest. It wasn’t about the bread. It never really was.

He smiled, small and warm. “Are you always going to remember stuff like that?”

Eddie looked up at him, quiet for a second before replying, “I remember everything.”

Buck took a bite of the sandwich, chewing thoughtfully.

“You know,” He said, licking peanut butter off his thumb, “when I was a kid, nobody ever wanted the end slices. I got used to taking them so nobody else had to.”

Eddie turned to him, expression unreadable for a moment. Then he stepped forward and leaned a hip against the counter beside Buck. “Well,” He said softly, “now you don’t have to take them just to make space for someone else.”

Buck met his eyes, chest tight and full all at once. “Then why do I still want them?”

Eddie didn’t say anything. He just reached out, brushed a crumb from the corner of Buck’s mouth, and smiled.

“Because this time, someone saved them for you.”

Buck couldn’t help it. He grinned, slow and wide and a little stunned. And as Buck took another bite of his end-slice sandwich, he realized: it had never tasted so good.

After rinsing their plates and leaving the kitchen, Buck and Eddie made their way down the hallway toward the bedroom. The house creaked softly around them, settling in the night. Somewhere behind the door at the end of the hall, Chris was sound asleep.

The bedroom was dim. Buck stepped in first, stretching out his arms as he yawned.

Eddie followed, slower, quieter. He didn’t say anything, just walked straight to the left side of the bed and sat down, starting to pull off his shirt.

Buck paused.

For a second, he opened his mouth, about to say something. Because the left side of the bed was near the window, and he knew Eddie hated when the sun hit his face too early in the morning, how it warmed the pillow too fast. But now, Eddie had chosen it. Deliberately. No hesitation.

And Buck knew why.

He smiled, quiet and full, his heart tugging in that familiar, Eddie-shaped way. Then, without a word, he walked to the right side of the bed – his favorite – and climbed in.

Eddie looked over as Buck settled under the blanket, a knowing look flickering in his eyes.

“You’re not gonna complain about the sun tomorrow?” Buck teased, propping himself up on one elbow.

Eddie shrugged, smirking faintly. “Maybe. But I figured you’ve earned the good side.”

Buck’s grin softened into something smaller, something that felt like gratitude and something deeper all at once. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” Eddie said, simple and sure.

Buck turned onto his side, facing Eddie. “Thanks.”

Eddie looked at him, then reached out and brushed his fingers against Buck’s wrist under the blanket. “Sleep well, Buck.”

• i want ‘i love you’s traced on my back while i’m half asleep, i want someone who cant take their eyes off of me in a crowd

The firehouse was wrapped in silence, the kind that only came in the late hours between calls. The bunkroom was dark, most of the team had already drifted into sleep.

Buck lay half-curled under his blanket, somewhere in that in-between space – not quite awake, not fully asleep. He was warm, comfortable, his breathing steady. The bed beside his creaked softly. Eddie.

Buck didn’t need to open his eyes to know he was there. He could feel the warmth of his presence in the space between them. And then something else. A hand.

Buck’s eyes remained closed as he felt Eddie’s fingers against his back, gentle through the thin fabric of his T-shirt. At first it was just a simple touch – maybe a mindless gesture. But then it started again, slow and deliberate. Eddie’s fingers tracing shapes across his back.

Buck’s brow furrowed slightly. He didn’t move, didn’t want to startle him. But whatever Eddie was doing, it wasn’t random. The shapes felt patterned. Repeated. Words, maybe. Letters?

Buck let out a quiet hum, still halfway asleep, voice rough with it. “Eddie…”

The hand paused.

Buck shifted slightly but didn’t turn around. “What are you writing on my back?”

A beat of silence. Eddie didn’t answer. Buck waited. Still nothing.

He smiled into his pillow. “You know I can tell it’s not random. You’ve done the same thing like… three times now.”

Eddie’s voice came, quiet and low. “Just something to help you sleep.”

Buck turned his head slightly, enough to look toward the space between their beds. “Pretty sure you’re writing a love letter in Morse code.”

He meant it as a joke. Mostly. But Eddie didn’t laugh. His hand lifted gently, then settled again, palm this time, warm and still.

“I’ll tell you someday.” Eddie said softly.

Buck smiled again, smaller this time, his eyes slipping closed.

He didn’t need to ask again. He didn’t push. Because something about the way Eddie had said it made him believe he would.

And until then, the weight of Eddie’s hand on his back was enough to lull him into sleep.

Whatever the words were, Buck figured he already knew what they meant.

The next morning the firehouse was packed.

It was what Bobby had called a community outreach event, which basically meant every square inch of the station was crammed with kids tugging on firefighter helmets, parents asking questions, teenagers filming everything for social media, and neighbors dropping off homemade cookies as a thank-you-for-your-service gesture.

Eddie stood on the balcony, coffee forgotten in his hand, caught in the moment but not part of it. Not really.

Because his eyes were fixed on Buck.

Buck was kneeling beside a group of kids, showing them how to open and close the hose valve on one of the smaller rigs. He was animated, grinning, talking with his hands, miming the sound of water pressure building up until the kids giggled and mimicked him.

The way his curls were slightly damp from the heat outside. The way his voice dropped when a little boy asked if he could be a firefighter too. The way his hand rested gently on the kid’s shoulder when he told him, “You’d make a great one.”

Eddie’s grip tightened around the coffee cup. He couldn’t stop watching. He didn’t even hear Bobby come up beside him until he spoke.

“Kids love him.” Bobby said, voice low and knowing.

Eddie blinked, startled. “Yeah. They do.”

Bobby watched him for a moment. “You okay?”

Eddie nodded, then shook his head, then shrugged. “I don’t know. I just keep… looking.”

Bobby didn’t push. He didn’t have to. He just offered a small smile, clapped a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, and moved back into the crowd.

Eddie stayed and he watched as Buck stood up, gave a high-five to one of the kids, and turned toward him, like he knew he was being watched. Their eyes met, and Buck’s smile changed, softened.

Eddie didn’t look away. Not even when a group of people moved between them. Not when the noise around them grew louder. Not when the room shifted. Because in all of it Buck was the still point. The one thing that made sense. And for the first time in a long time, Eddie let himself feel it fully. Not just the affection. Not just the quiet gratitude.

But the love.

• i want to be made to feel special and i just want someone to love me

“So,” Hen started, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. “Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?”

“What elephant?” Eddie said as he teared his gaze away from Buck, who was cradling his baby nephew in his arms, away from the crowd.

“Elephant named Buck who you are ridiculously in love with?” Chimney answered. Eddie opened his mouth but Chimney lifted a hand. “Don’t. Just don’t. We’re literally waiting for you.”

“I thought we agreed,” Bobby cut in, his voice calm but pointed, “that you guys wouldn’t meddle.”

Ravi shrugged, taking a sip of his drink, entirely unbothered. “You said it. We never agreed.”

The group chuckled, but Eddie looked like he wanted the floor to open up beneath him.

That’s when Maddie finally spoke. “I actually agree with Bobby.” She said gently. “We cant push Eddie into anything.”

Eddie turned to her, surprised.

“But,” Maddie continued, “I also know my brother. And I know how much love he has to give—how much he wants to give it. He deserves someone who chooses him, no hesitation. Someone who sees him as their first, their last, their always.”

Eddie’s gaze sharpened; he was ready to defend himself. He was ready to tell them that Buck was his first, last and only.

“But,” Maddie said again, softer now, “you deserve to choose too, Eddie. You’ve spent so much of your life doing what’s right for everyone else – Your parents, Shannon, Chris, even Buck. You get to do something for yourself this time. Without pressure.” Her voice caught slightly. “I love my brother, and yeah, part of me wants to shake you and scream ‘ What are you waiting for?’ But the truth is… if you’re not ready, or if it’s not him… that’s okay too. Just don’t stay frozen because you’re scared. You both deserve more than that.”

Eddie looked up then, eyes drawn back to where Buck stood swaying gently, whispering something to the baby with a tenderness that made Eddie’s heart ache.

“Yeah,” He said finally, voice quiet but clear. “You’re right.”

He stood, slowly, ignoring the subtle glances from the table. Eddie approached Buck, his footsteps slower the closer he got. 

Buck looked up when he sensed him, smiling that quiet, fond smile he reserved for small moments. “Hey. He’s out cold,” He whispered, tilting his head to the baby. 

Eddie smiled, despite his nervousness. He took a breath. “Can we talk?” He asked, low.

Buck blinked, immediately alert. “Yeah, of course.” He glanced down at the baby. “Give me two seconds. Let me hand him back to Maddie.”

Eddie nodded, waiting as Buck gently passed the baby back to Maddie, whispered something to her, then came back. They left the backyard and went to the inside, to the kitchen. 

“What is it?” Buck asked. “Do you want to leave? I can talk to Bobby, he wouldn’t mind. Its just one dinner–”

Eddie shook his head quickly. “No, no. That’s not it.”

Buck’s eyes searched his. “Then what’s going on?”

Eddie hesitated for a beat. “Do you remember the karaoke?”

Buck snorted. “As if they'd let me forget.”

“But do you want to forget?”

“No.” Buck answered without hesitation. “I don't.”

“Good. Because when I sang those lyrics, I wasn’t performing. I meant every word.”

Buck’s breath hitched. “Even if the lyrics said ‘Never felt like this before.’?” He asked, voice low and unsure.

Eddie gave a quiet laugh. “Yeah, especially that. Because that's the truth. I've never felt like this. Not until I met you. I feel like..” He took a deep breath to steady himself. “I feel like ever since we've met we've been something between friends or more than friends. And I’ve let it stay that way for a long time. Maybe too long.”

He looked right into Buck’s eyes. “I didn’t want to ruin what we had. You and me, with Chris… It's the most stable, safe thing I’ve ever known. But it’s also the most real thing I’ve ever had. And I can’t keep pretending like it doesn’t mean more to me. I was scared.” He admitted. “Of losing you. Of messing everything up. But now I’m more scared of missing this. Of never knowing what we could be if I just said it out loud.”

Buck swallowed, taking a step forward. “So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want to stop dancing around it,” Eddie said, voice steady. “I want you. All of you. Not just as my best friend. I want to be the person who gets to come home to you– Wait, no that’s not it. I already come home to you.”

Buck smiled, a little crooked and a lot tender. “Eddie,” He slinged an arm around Eddie’s waist and pulled him closer. “Don't you realize? You already come home to me .” 

His other hand came up to cradle Eddie’s face, thumb brushing just under his cheekbone. “And I don’t want that to stop.” He went on, quieter now. “I don’t want it to stay the same either. Not if I get to have this. If there’s a chance to have more, to be more, I want that. I want you.”

“I don’t know why I waited so long.” Eddie whispered, leaning towards Buck’s hand. “I think some part of me didn’t think I could have this. That it would be selfish to want you or want you to love me.”

Buck shook his head, his grip firm. “Wanting someone to love you isn’t selfish, Eddie. And believe me it took me years of therapy to understand that.”

Eddie let out a low chuckle. “Years of therapy, huh?” he said, teasing. “And here I thought I was Mr.Darcy, you know, the emotionally constipated one.”

Buck grinned, eyes lighting up. “Oh, you are. Don’t worry.”

Eddie smirked. “So what I’m hearing is... if I had gone to therapy too, we’d be making out in this kitchen, what, like seven years ago.”

Buck tilted his head, pretending to consider it. “Probably on your couch. Definitely with less clothes.”

Eddie laughed, full and genuine, and Buck swore it lit up the whole damn room. “Okay, well... better late than never.”

And before Buck could respond, Eddie leaned in and kissed him. Buck melted into it instantly, his arms tightening around Eddie’s waist. The kiss was soft at first, tender but then Eddie’s hand slid into Buck’s hair, and everything shifted. The kiss deepened, mouths moving with more urgency, more heat, like they were trying to make up for every second they hadn’t done this before. Eddie backed Buck up until his hips hit the edge of the counter, and Buck let out a breathless sound, hands pulling at Eddie’s shirt, holding him close like he never wanted to let go.

Eddie kissed him like he meant it, like he was claiming something he should’ve had all along. Buck responded in matching his intensity, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of Eddie’s shirt, just enough to touch warm skin.

They broke apart for a brief second, panting, foreheads pressed together.

“Okay,” Buck whispered, eyes half-lidded, voice rough. “I can get used to this.”

Eddie let out a soft laugh, his breath still ragged from their intense make-out session. "You know,  I just had an idea.” He said, his thumb gently tracing Buck's jawline. "Maybe we should start a support group for people like us.”

“People like us?”

“Yeah, people who've been emotionally constipated for too long." 

Buck raised an eyebrow, a smile playing on his lips. "Oh, yeah? And what would we call it?"

Eddie grinned. "How about 'Darcy Anonymous'? You know, for all the Mr. Darcys out there."

Buck threw his head back and laughed, the sound rich and infectious. "It's ridiculous, I like it," he said, pulling Eddie back into a kiss. "I like it a lot."