Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“What did you just call me, you stupid monkey?” echoed Sanji's voice loudly across the deck, almost drowning out the sound of the sea. Angered, he clenched his fists, his shoulders tense, and barely managed to control himself from kicking out uncontrollably. But how could anyone blame him when Zoro, his favorite sparring partner, was standing right in front of him, glaring provocatively.

“I said, you puny little cockroach! Do you have cooking spoons in your ears or something?” Zoro shouted back, equally annoyed. He was slowly getting fed up with being insulted by this damn cook and, even worse, listening to his stupid flirting with the women. All Zoro wanted was to take a quick nap in peace. But then this guy came along with his obnoxiously pleasant voice and ruined everything. It was obvious that this would end in a fight, as it so often did. And just as Zoro blamed Sanji for this, Sanji felt the same way. If this idiot wanted to sleep, he shouldn't do it on deck. Besides, Luffy and Usopp were a lot louder as they chased each other across the deck and laughed at the top of their lungs. So why was he the one getting all these insults thrown in his face? Not to mention the fact that it was none of this dim-witted Neanderthal's business whether he was talking to the ladies or flirting with them for dear life.

“You dirty—! Argh!"—The fact, even Sanji, was running out of insults showed how much Zoro was already getting on his nerves. So he swung his leg wide, aiming to hit Zoro with a powerful kick. Or at least that was what Sanji had planned. But before his foot even came close to making contact with Zoro's body, it was stopped by one of Zoro's swords. This only made Sanji angrier and caused him to swing again. And again and again, only for each of his kicks to collide with Zoro's blade. He just couldn't manage to hit Zoro, but it gave him satisfaction that Zoro couldn't hit him either. It was always like that. No matter how heated their discussions became. They would never seriously hurt each other. Blades drawing blood or legs breaking bones. Maybe a bruise here and a scraped knee there. But never serious enough to draw blood. Which made Sanji wonder if it was because they were actually evenly matched or if they simply didn't want to hurt each other. However, this thought disappeared as quickly as it had come. With a sharp hiss of a sword that almost cut through one of Sanji's strands of hair, it erased any further thoughts from his subconscious. It was much more important to concentrate on their fight. Because hell would freeze over before he let Zoro win.

As the fight continued, they moved across the deck. Every kick was blocked by a blade and every blow was easily stopped by the sole of a foot. It was a constant back and forth, with neither of them willing to give in and no end in sight. Until something unexpected disrupted their practiced movements. With too much momentum to avoid one of Zoro's blows, Sanji stumbled backwards over one of Usopp’s experiments. Those damn experiments that Nami had warned him time and time again not to leave lying around on the deck. And yet there it was, much to Sanji's misfortune, who lost his balance as a result. Before Sanji could prevent it, he fell, landing painfully on his back with an inelegant scream, and only reflexively raised his arms protectively when he saw the next blow coming towards him. Sanji knew it was too late. He had no choice but to close his eyes and wait for the impact. Zoro was also surprised by his comrade's fall and tried to take the power out of his blow because he knew he couldn't stop it anymore. He tried. Zoro really tried, but it was already too late. He hit him, with much less force than he had intended, but it wasn't enough. Now Sanji lay on the ground in front of him, his eyelids still painfully squeezed shut, while Zoro stared at him with his one eye wide open. His sword still pointed at Sanji.

Suddenly, a deathly silence spread around them. Nami and Robin, who had been chatting during the two men's daily argument, fell silent. Usopp, who had been telling Chopper and Franky one of his tall tales, paused. Brook, who had been cheerfully playing his violin while Luffy sang along out of tune, stopped playing with a crooked sound from his instrument and looked out of his empty eye sockets at the two rivals standing near the mast. Everything was quiet and everyone looked at the two, who were also unable to break the silence. It was a completely new situation. Never before had either of them brought the other to their knees, and certainly neither had ever hurt the other. Now both of these things had happened.

Sanji slowly opened his eyes again, blinking. He felt something wet on his cheek, dripping steadily, staining his collar and collecting unpleasantly at the back of his neck. He looked up at his hand and realized what it was that was hitting his skin, and even worse, how much of it there was. – “M-my hand,” he stammered, almost breathless. It was like a whisper without a hint of panic or any other emotional reaction. He was far too shocked by what he saw. He turned his hand, which he had only been looking at the back of, and was afraid of what awaited him. A huge cut spread across the palm of his hand to his wrist. There was blood everywhere, making it look like a massacre. And yet there was no pain. On the contrary, in fact. Sanji felt numb. His whole body was frozen, and all he could do was take a shallow breath and look at Zoro for the first time. However, Zoro was also staring at his hand and didn't even notice that Sanji was looking at him, which made him look away. Over the shocked gaze of his comrade to his sword, which he still held in a firm grip. With tense muscles and protruding knuckles. All the way to the blade, which was still sticky with blood. Not much, but it was Sanji's blood slowly drying on the edge. That fact alone made him tremble. It was the first emotion he had shown since that blade had touched his skin.

This did not escape Zoro's notice. He followed Sanji's gaze and realized what he had reacted to. The realization hit him hard. It seeped into him, flooding his mind, which had been empty just a second before. He had actually hit Sanji with his sword. He had actually hurt him. It was something he had never wanted to do, and yet it had happened. He had let himself be carried away into fighting Sanji, knowing full well what the consequences could be. He had lost himself in their dispute and ended up not being strong enough to prevent exactly this from happening. Zoro had lost control of himself and his power, and Sanji was now paying the price. Knowing that it had been Sanji's hand he had struck, only plunged Zoro into an even deeper hole of guilt. Those hands, which everyone knew were sacred to Sanji. So much so that he even refused to fight with them. Regardless of how skilled he was with sharp objects.

And just as Zoro wondered how things could have come to this, Sanji was plagued by the same question. Followed by the thought of how much of it was unintentional. How much Zoro must really hate him to deliberately hurt him. Whether that was even possible. Immediately afterwards, Sanji hated himself for that thought. Just considering it was absurd and made him feel ashamed. Zoro could never hurt him on purpose. No matter how much they fought and beat each other up. Zoro was his comrade. His companion. His friend. Even if they denied it at every possible opportunity. Zoro would never hurt him. Just as Sanji would never hurt him.

A loud clatter snapped Sanji and everyone else around them out of their stupor. Zoro had dropped his sword, taken two steps back, and moved away from Sanji, who was still lying on the ground. It was like a starting signal. Suddenly, Chopper jumped up and ran frantically across the deck to call for a doctor. Franky immediately sprinted off to fetch Chopper's medical kit, while Usopp made it clear to the little reindeer that he was the doctor on this ship. Nami and Robin also got up from their loungers and hurried over to Sanji. Luffy, on the other hand, slowly approached Zoro, who was still standing there looking down at his sword, which lay on the floor, completely ignored.

“Move aside! Move aside!” Chopper shouted shortly afterwards, rushing towards Sanji with a small medical kit in his hooves. He put the kit down and opened it to take out all the necessary equipment. Disinfectant, swabs, a pressure pad, some gauze, a needle and thread. – ”Sanji? Can you sit up?” Chopper asked worriedly. Sanji didn't answer, however, and merely tried to sit up awkwardly. Unfortunately, he was unsuccessful. Sanji immediately felt light-headed, saw colorful spots before his eyes, and then only blackness before weakness overcame him. Sanji shook his head instantly to answer the doctor's question and fell back to the floor. There was a harsh sound and Sanji closed his eyes for a moment. – “You need to put your legs up. Franky, grab Sanji's feet and hold his legs up. This will help get his circulation going again. In the meantime, I'll take a look at his wound.” – Armed with a swab, he took Sanji's bleeding hand in his hooves and began to inspect the wound. In an attempt to get a better look at the wound, Chopper dabbed at it. But it was just too much. All he could see was that it was deep and bleeding terribly. This explained why Sanji was fighting dizziness, given the amount of blood he had already lost. Blood that formed a puddle under his hand and slowly seeped into the wood. That alone was enough for Chopper to know that this wound needed stitches.

So, for the time being, he had no choice but to stop the bleeding. He applied sufficient pressure with a clean cloth from his kit, hoping that it would be enough before he could start sewing. – “The cut is quite deep. I'll have to sew it up so that the wound heals properly,” said Chopper in the meantime, lifting the cloth briefly to see how much blood was still flowing. – “Luffy, hold Sanji's shoulders down. This is going to hurt,” Chopper warned, waiting for Luffy to rush over. One last look under the cloth and Chopper decided it was time. With a fresh swab and disinfectant, he cleaned the wound, causing Sanji to hiss in pain. And it hurt Chopper just as much. He hated seeing his friends suffer. But now was not the time for that. He had to concentrate and do his best. That was why he was the ship's doctor. So he pulled out a needle and thread. He threaded the thread through the eyelet and nodded to Luffy to signal that he was about to begin. Luffy was ready, holding Sanji firmly by the shoulders and nodding back before Chopper brought the needle down. Chopper knew that what was about to happen would be difficult to endure. With no way to anesthetize Sanji, he would feel every stitch. And Chopper could only imagine what it must be like for Sanji, especially on his hand, which was so sensitive to pain with its countless nerve endings. But he had no other choice. It was either that or Sanji risked infection in the worst case. And if that happened, Chopper didn't want to imagine what the consequences might be. So it was time to close his eyes and get it over with. Taking a deep breath, Chopper made the first stitch.

Instantly, a loud scream rang out. It was bloodcurdling and caused Nami to turn away and press her hands protectively over her ears. She simply couldn't bear to watch Sanji go through such pain without being able to do anything about it. Robin, on the other hand, watched expressionlessly. She watched Chopper with interest as he handled the needle and closed the wound stitch by stitch. At the same time, there was an almost imperceptible wrinkle on her forehead, which was enough to show that she too was worried about her friend. And Franky, who was still holding Sanji's legs, turned his head away. Luffy had no time to focus on anything other than Sanji's resistance, and Usopp had hidden in the cabin out of fear. When it came to blood, Usopp was very sensitive. And sewing on top of that? That was the last straw for him. Brook also watched and stood ready to help Luffy in case of an emergency. Only Zoro was still standing in the same spot where he had been before. Completely frozen, he stared at his sword and asked himself over and over again how he could have really hurt Sanji. It just couldn't be. They had never seriously hurt each other before. But now he could hear Sanji's screams. They echoed in his ears, haunting him, and he deserved it. It was all his fault.

“Please, Sanji! Only six more stitches! The faster you pull yourself together, the sooner I'll be done,” Chopper urged him, clearly struggling to place the stitches properly. But his words didn't get through to Sanji. All he could feel was pain. Unbearable pain. Another scream rang out as Chopper placed the second stitch. And Sanji had to endure that four more times? It was impossible. He would rather die, he was sure of it. With the third stitch, Sanji didn't scream quite as loudly. Not because it didn't hurt, but because he didn't have the strength to do so. It became unbearable and Sanji felt everything start to spin around him. The fourth stitch followed. Again, a much more stifled scream. The fifth stitch and Sanji saw only black before his eyes. The sixth and final stitch. Silence. – “He lost consciousness with the fifth stitch. It was probably all a bit too much for him. But now it's over. I'll disinfect the wound, bandage it, and then Franky, please carry him to the cabin.” – Franky nodded and carefully set the cook's legs on the floor. Luffy also let go of Sanji and sat down exhausted next to him in a cross-legged position. Chopper took a new swab and disinfected the freshly stitched wound again. Then he applied a pressure bandage and wrapped it all with gauze dressings.

“Done,” Chopper declared, exhausted, and made room for Franky, who came to carry Sanji away. Chopper wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead and began to pack up his things. Luffy smiled happily again because everything had turned out all right, while Nami dared to open her eyes cautiously. — “Is it over?” she asked, her gaze searching the deck. But Sanji was nowhere to be seen. She breathed a sigh of relief. — “He's fine. It was just the shock that made him react so violently. Normally, our chef is much tougher,” Robin reassured her and smiled encouragingly. – ‘You're probably right,’ Nami replied with a heavy sigh before her gaze lingered on the pool of blood left behind by the scene. – "Someone should–" – She paused briefly. – “I'll get something to clean it up,” Nami said quietly, as if she were thinking about something, only to spring into action immediately. Robin followed her without a word.

“He's lying in his bunk now and, as far as I can tell, he's fallen asleep. So I guess there's nothing to worry about,” said Franky suddenly, who had just returned to the deck and was now pointing in the direction he had come from. – ”Wonderful! That means he's okay. He'll sleep for a while and when he wakes up, he'll be his old self again. He just needs to recover from the shock,” replied Chopper, going to put his kit back into the infirmary. And so everything went back to normal. Almost everything. Zoro hadn't moved an inch, while his friends bustled around him. He was still preoccupied with thoughts of how all this could have happened. How on earth had he managed to hurt Sanji? Of all people, the one person he wanted the least to hurt in the whole world.

Only a hand on his shoulder pulled him out of this spiral of thoughts and self-doubt. – “It's not your fault” – Luffy. His face was serious, as he rarely was. But when it happened, his friends could trust that he would be there for them. Luffy was one of those people who would follow his friends to hell and back. He was loyal and always willing to do anything for his friends. Even if that “anything” was just standing by a friend. And yet those words didn't make it any better. They didn't make up for the feeling Zoro felt inside. They were still there, making Zoro doubt himself. He felt like he had committed a crime when he struck Sanji with the blade of his sword. – “Zoro, really, it's not your fault. You did not mean to do it. And as long as that's the case, you have nothing to worry about.” – Luffy spoke these words with more emphasis, only to immediately flash the huge grin that everyone knew so well.

Zoro could do nothing but nod. What else was he supposed to do? He didn't feel like talking. Not even to protest what Luffy had said. Of course, he hadn't done it on purpose, but he still felt terrible. His stomach churned when he thought of the screams that had filled the deck just moments ago. And it was his fault. It was his fault that Sanji was now in pain, and it was also his fault that Sanji would now have difficulty cooking. It would be a major hurdle for Sanji to not be able to use his hand for cooking for the time being. How was he supposed to manage with only one hand? Could he even do it? Would Sanji hate him now? After all, he was the reason why he could now only pursue his greatest passion – apart from smoking – to a limited extent. He just hoped that there would be no lasting damage. Zoro had no idea about such things, but the cut was deep. It was close to his wrist and had literally split Sanji's palm in two. If he hadn't hit a nerve, it would have been a miracle. Chopper hadn't mentioned anything yet, but Zoro wasn't stupid. He knew from numerous fights how dangerous a cut, no matter how small, could be if it hit the right spot.

It was just awful. He felt sick to his stomach and for a moment he thought he was going to throw up. He became nervous and even though it had only been a few minutes, he wished Sanji would come back on deck right away, with a grin on his face, and hurl one of his insults at him again. But nothing happened. No matter how intensely he stared at the door. He had no choice but to wait. Endless seconds turned into minutes and hours. His gaze kept wandering back to his sword, which was still lying on the floor. He couldn't even bear to look at it anymore, but he couldn't stop himself. While he waited. And waited and waited.

Chapter Text

While the others went about their daily business, Zoro sat motionless, leaning against the wall. Watching the door from which Sanji had to come if he wanted to enter the deck. But still nothing happened. Another two hours passed before the door, which he had been staring at the whole time, slowly and cautiously swung open.

Zoro saw Sanji enter the deck. He seemed dazed and clearly too pale around the nose, holding his head with his good hand. – “Sanji!” – Nami was the first after Zoro to notice that Sanji was back on his feet and rushed over to him. This caught the attention of their other friends, who now also looked at Sanji. – “Are you okay?” she asked cautiously, looking at him with a worried expression. – “I'm fine, I guess. I just feel exhausted.” – Sanji was still holding his head, creating one of those rare moments when his friends could see his face completely. – “I'm not surprised.” – Chopper had also come over to them and was now pointing instructively with his hoof. – ”That was a big shock for you. Besides, it wasn't easy to endure the pain of the treatment. You should get some more rest and you'll feel much better tomorrow.” – Sanji looked at his bandaged and swollen hand. He remembered exactly why he felt so exhausted, and a huge lump formed in his throat. Unconsciously, his gaze drifted to Zoro, who was still sitting across from the door, staring at him. Should he go over to him? Should he tell him that he wasn't mad at him? Was he really not mad at him? After all, he had slashed his hand. But still, the marimo was his friend. If not his best friend.

“Sanji?” – Nami spoke softly, almost whispering, to get Sanji's attention back on her. She was still looking at him worriedly. – ”You should talk to him. He hasn't said a word since it happened. He hasn't even slept. Which is concerning enough. I think he's really sorry. So please don't be mad at him.” – It never ceased to amaze Sanji how empathetic Nami could be. Outwardly, she always acted strong and greedy, but she was just as loyal and genuine a friend as Luffy and all the others were. And that alone made his heart warm. – “Nami-chan, I'm not mad at him.” – Sanji gave his beloved a charming smile and then immediately set off.

“Hey, swordsman!,” Sanji shouted in his usual tone, pointing at Zoro with his good hand. Zoro stood up, his swords still lying on the ground. He wouldn't dream of picking them up in Sanji's presence. And he hardly dared to say anything back. He braced himself for anything. Shouting, ranting, and insults. Sanji saying he would never forgive him, that he hated him. Zoro swallowed hard. – “What in God's name were you thinking?” Sanji shouted, looking at him angrily. Zoro remained silent, but held his friend's gaze. At least he owed him that much. – “Something like you wants to be the best swordsman in the world? You can't even wield your sword properly! You could have cut off my hand! You could have killed me!” – At these words, Zoro weakened and looked away for the better part of a second. Even if he had wanted to, he couldn't have responded to those words. No counterattack, no cheeky remark. Nothing would defuse the situation or undo what had been done. Zoro swallowed hard again.

“I'm disappointed in you! That you of all people hurt me. You, who knows exactly how important my hands are! How important yours are to you!” – The entire crew had gathered around the two and was now listening to the lecture that Sanji was unleashing on Zoro without hesitation. Nami was about to intervene because she couldn't stand how Sanji was yelling at Zoro and reproaching him. But Luffy held her back. – “And yet-” – Sanji's voice grew quieter, gentler. His features softened and he exhaled. – “And yet I can't be mad at you. It was an accident and it can't be undone. You didn't mean to hurt me, I know that. And I forgive you.” – Zoro looked at him in disbelief. He had expected anything but that. Sanji grinned at him. – “But if you ever do that again, I'll kill you.” – Sanji still had a grin on his face, but everyone knew how serious he was. He wouldn't let his friend get away with it a second time.

Nami breathed a sigh of relief and shook her head inwardly. She should have known that Sanji was much more reasonable than to really make Zoro feel guilty now. But he forgave him, and that was the main thing. The rest of the crew also seemed relieved. The last thing they needed here was hostile tension – this time for real – between Sanji and Zoro. But the only one who didn't seem to have been worried about it the whole time was Luffy, who watched everything with a grin. – “Well, then, everything's back to normal!” – "No!” – The entire crew, including Sanji, who were about to resume their usual routines, paused and looked at Zoro, who was still staring seriously at Sanji. And without warning, he dropped to his knees. He bowed, leaning his upper body far forward until his forehead touched the deck. His arms were next to his head, also pressed flat against the floor. His jaw was clenched so tightly that his teeth began to grind. – “It would be dishonorable to simply brush this matter aside.” – Sanji looked at him in confusion. He was uncomfortable with how Zoro had knelt before him. With a humility that Sanji had never thought possible. Not towards him. What would he give now to look into those gray eyes and understand what was going on inside Zoro. Because at that moment, none of it made sense to him. – “What's gotten into Zoro?” Usopp voiced what most of the crew was probably wondering, but as always, there was one who knew the answer. – “If I may explain” – Robin stepped forward, drawing her friends' attention to her.

“As a swordsman, Zoro strictly follows the way of the Bushidō. – “The what?” – Luffy tilted his head and looked more than ever like a child who had just been told about Santa Claus. – “The Bushidō is the code of moral principles that every warrior should observe. It is not primarily a written code. It consists of principles that have been passed down by word of mouth. It is a code that sanctifies true deeds, a law written in the heart. Among other things, this code includes the seven virtues of a warrior: sincerity and justice, courage, kindness, courtesy, truth and truthfulness, honor, loyalty, and the associated duty and loyalty. This code is the basis for all behavior, including in private life. Violations of this code of honor are considered undignified and dishonorable.” – Robin glanced at Zoro, who was still bowing and making no move to rise. – “And I think that by injuring our chef, he has broken one of these virtues.” – “Oh, nonsense! He shouldn't make such a fuss. After all, nothing serious happened to me.” – “But it is my duty to make amends!” – Zoro sounded serious and determined to make up for his mistake. But Sanji found that ridiculous. There was absolutely nothing to make up for. What had happened was done and dusted. And if he was honest, he didn't really want to continue dealing with it and just wanted to get through the time when he would be physically impaired. It was bad enough that he couldn't cook properly anymore, he didn't want to carry the guilt of this idiot around with him too. – “Let it go, Marimo. I really don't feel like dealing with this crap.” – “I don't think you really have a choice. Because if he can't make it up to you, there's only one thing left to do,” Robin chimed in again. – “And that would be?” Sanji was slowly getting annoyed by this conversation. All he really wanted to do was lie down and get some more sleep. Today had clearly been too much for him, and he still hoped, just a little, that he would wake up in his bed, drenched in sweat, and realize that it had all been a bad nightmare. But nothing happened. Instead, Zoro sat up again without leaving his kneeling position, his hands clenched on his thighs, and looked him hard in the eyes. – “Seppuku.”

Chopper, Usopp, and Franky yelped loudly, unable to believe what their comrade had said. One would expect Brook to react with shock as well. However, he merely considered the scenario seriously, knowing from the outset what it would lead to. After all, he was a swordsman himself and was well aware of the code of the Bushidō. Everyone who wielded a sword conscientiously knew it. – “Suicide? I hope you're kidding!” – Sanji sounded upset, he was angry at what Zoro had said and couldn't believe that he would really go that far. It was completely insane. It wasn't worth it at all. Zoro must have seen things very differently. As a true master of sword fighting, he was bound to the Bushidō and would give everything to uphold it. – “Seppuku isn't just suicide. It's a ritual suicide that restores a warrior's honor. In seppuku, the man seated in a seiza position cuts his stomach with a wakizashi blade wrapped in paper and usually kept specifically for this occasion, after baring his upper body, approximately six centimeters below the na-” – “That's way too much information, Robin!” interrupted Nami much too loudly, who really didn't want to know how this ritual suicide was performed. It was incomprehensible enough to her how anyone could get so obsessed with something like that, she didn't want to hear the gory details. Robin just smiled and remained silent.

“You're crazy. I'm not going to participate in this madness!”, protested Sanji, determined not to support such nonsense in any way. It might be that the empty-headed fool felt bound by whatever stupid code he believed in, but he shouldn't drag others into it. – “It would be an honor to be your Kaishaku-Nin,” Brook took a step toward Zoro and bowed his head in a gesture of respect. – “Eh? What does a Kaishaku-Nin do?” – Luffy tilted his head repeatedly and looked back and forth between Zoro and Brook. – “He cuts my cervical spine,” Zoro replied almost casually, ignoring Sanji's muttered ‘I think I'm going to puke’ and the three jaws of Chopper, Usopp, and Franky dropping to the floor.

“I thought seppuku was suicide? Why do you need someone to cut off your head?” – Usopp was clearly confused. Not only did he find it really disgusting, he didn't even understand how seppuku worked. – ”It's not as simple as people might think. It's much more complicated and involves much more than just slitting yourself open from top to bottom.” – Zoro didn't really feel like explaining how seppuku was performed, but judging by the crazy gleam in Luffy's eyes, he was eager to hear an exciting story. – ”I don't understand. How does it work?” Franky asked, now also interested, holding his chin. Zoro sighed slightly annoyed. – “As Robin was starting to explain, a cut is made-“ – “Enough!” shouted Sanji loudly, interrupting Zoro's explanation harshly. – ”That's enough! I don't want to hear another damn word about this seppuku crap! Do whatever you want, but stop talking such bullshit!” – Normally, Zoro couldn't stand it when someone referred to the Bushidō as “bullshit,” and on any other occasion he would have gone for the stupid cook's throat, but not this time. He had already caused enough trouble for one day, so he would just have to put up with it. So he just nodded. No one else dared to say anything, because they all realized that it was better not to contradict Sanji right now. He was already angry enough, and the conversation about ritual suicide probably didn't make things any better. The only one who wasn't intimidated by it was Robin, who radiated pure serenity.

“And how does our dear swordsman intend to make up for this accident?” – Sanji snorted audibly and crossed his arms in front of his chest, as best he could with his thickly bandaged hand. He turned his gaze away from Zoro, who now rose from his position, seemingly straightening his shoulders and fixing his gaze on Sanji, even though the latter did not return his gaze. – “Let me be your hand.” – Silence. – “What?” – It was only a faint whisper that escaped Sanji's throat. But it was enough for Zoro to understand. And suddenly he straightened his shoulders a little more, firming his stance, which Sanji thought couldn't possibly be any more controlled. And he continued. As serious as his expression was, Zoro held out his right hand, palm up. It was the very hand he had used to injure Sanji. – “Let me be your hand. For as long as it takes.” – His gaze was piercing, unyielding. And Sanji knew that Zoro would not lower his hand until he reached for it and sealed their pact. And he knew it was an unspoken fact that Zoro would do anything for him during this time. He would follow him wherever he went and become a part of him. And that should have unsettled Sanji. He should have felt constrained by this request, knowing that he would not be able to take a step without his comrade in the near future. But it didn't. No matter how deep he dug, he couldn't find any feeling in him that was averse to it. Rather, it was pride that filled him, joy that he could call such a man his friend and comrade. And almost as if by itself, he reached for Zoro's hand. He let his left hand, which stood in such stark contrast to Zoro's, slowly but without hesitation slide into his palm. He felt the rough skin beneath his fingertips. Every callus from all the training. Sanji almost thought he could feel the pattern of the hilt of his sword. But what particularly struck Sanji was how much bigger Zoro's hands were. They were strong, muscular, and covered with scars in all the places where Sanji's hands were not. Pale, delicate, and slender, absolutely flawless. And suddenly Sanji felt safe. Simply because Zoro's hands were everything his own were not. He applied light pressure and instantly Zoro's hand enclosed his own, while they still held each other's gaze. They stared at each other, Sanji no longer knowing how long they had been doing so. But everything around them was forgotten. He even blocked out the two women standing to his right and left. All that mattered now was the sincere and stubborn look in those incredibly gray eyes, which he wondered if they had always been so intensely gray.

“Then that's settled! Great! I'm hungry!” Luffy broke the intimate atmosphere that had formed between the two eternal rivals and jumped up excitedly. And while Sanji jerked his head in his direction and was about to raise his right hand in anger, he cursed. – ”When are you straw filled head ever not hungry!” – And it hit Luffy hard on the head. But not as expected from Sanji, who already had his hand raised. Zoro had also raised his arm without comment and hit Luffy on the head with his fist. Just like Sanji would have done. Just like he always did. And suddenly Sanji realized the meaning of his words. Zoro was now his right hand. He would do the things Sanji was unable to do, whether he asked him to or not. He would watch him, learn to read him, so that he could anticipate his every move and carry them out for him without Sanji having to do any work. He would focus all his attention on Sanji. This realization made him swallow hard. Now he would be under constant observation.

And almost as if Zoro could read his mind, he continued to stare at him, only to give him a brief nod. Now it was official. Sanji now had a second shadow. – “It's not nearly time to eat, Luffy. So behave yourself and go play,” Nami's stern voice rang out, once again interrupting one of Sanji's deep trains of thought. – “And I'm going to lie down for a bit before I start preparing dinner,” Sanji chimed in again. His remaining comrades were also slowly resuming their activities. And it was almost as if none of it had happened before. Usopp told another one of his stories while Franky and especially Chopper hung on his every word, and the girls returned to their lounge chairs. Only Zoro remained motionless. He was still watching Sanji in front of him and seemed to be waiting for him to make the first move. And that's what he did. Sanji put one foot in front of the other and headed back to the bunks, only to notice that Zoro was following him.

“What are you doing?“ he asked, turning slightly toward Zoro, who was standing behind him. – “I'm following you.” – “Yeah, I noticed that, Mosshead. But why?” – Sanji was clearly annoyed. All he wanted was to be left alone. To lie down and maybe doze off. – “If you need me.” – The seriousness in his voice hadn't diminished one bit. He was still looking at him, his face expressionless. And Sanji? His heart was beating in his throat. He didn't know what to say because he didn't understand himself. His thoughts were spinning and he wondered how he would survive the next few weeks if Zoro was watching him even when he was sleeping. Was that why his heart was beating so fast with excitement? – “I don't think I'll need you to sleep. You're definitely missing some attributes for that.” – Sanji's gaze wandered unabashedly to Zoro's chest, knowing exactly what Zoro was missing. And yet, had Zoro always shown so much skin? And what was that lump in his throat? – ”I'll accompany you. You might do something out of habit that could hurt your hand. I'll keep an eye on you.” – Keep an eye on him? What was this? A cheesy play? Sanji tried to be annoyed that Zoro was treating him like a little kid. And yet he couldn't stop himself from feeling something like security. No one had ever paid so much attention to him before. So careful that he didn't hurt himself. And as much as he hated it, he had to admit that it felt good to be protected for a change. To be allowed to be protected. So he did it all with just a nod, including a grumpy grumble – the marimo shouldn't get any stupid ideas – and continued on his way to the dormitory.

Sanji walked silently down the hallway, with Zoro steadily behind him. If he didn't know better, he would have thought that Zoro had long since left. Once again, Sanji felt vindicated. He had a second shadow. Zoro was careful not to be seen or heard. He was practically invisible and did not draw attention to himself in any way. Only when they reached the dormitory did Zoro get ahead of Sanji, who reflexively raised his right hand to open the door. Before Sanji knew it, he saw a hand on the doorknob that was definitely not his own. And the door swung open silently. Sanji tried with all his might to ignore how close Zoro suddenly was to him. His chest pressed against his back. His breath on his neck. The heat radiating from Zoro and the skin that was kept away from his own by nothing more than the shirt Sanji was wearing. Without wanting to, Sanji slowly lost his mind. He knew he shouldn't react to Zoro like this. He shouldn't feel the urge to lean into this touch. To seek protection in it. Protection he knew he would find there. Protection he knew he would get. And that was even crazier. Surely these feelings welling up inside him could only be attributed to the events of the day. Because Sanji was exhausted. He was tired and still a little weak in the legs. Surely it would all pass once he regained his strength. It couldn't be anything else. So Sanji pushed all further thoughts aside and entered the dormitory.

At the same time, he was torn because another thought popped into his head. Should he thank him for this gesture, even if it might be inappropriate? After all, Zoro considered it his duty. Would that possibly upset him? For heaven's sake, this whole situation was so unfamiliar and strange. Sanji didn't know how to behave and felt more than helpless. Should he perhaps bring it up again with Zoro to establish some rules? That might be best. He couldn't go on forever feeling so insecure around him, not knowing how far Zoro would go. What was appropriate and what he should avoid. So Sanji let himself fall powerlessly onto his bed and took a deep breath. – “So!” he began, watching Zoro pull a chair up to the bed and sit down. And immediately, something struck him. Something was missing when Zoro sat down on the chair without the obligatory clang of metal. – “Your swords. You left them on deck,” Sanji said, completely forgetting what he had actually been trying to say. And all he got from Zoro was a shake of the head. As he so often did, he slipped his hands into the sleeves of his shirt and closed his eyes briefly. It seemed to Sanji as if he was struggling to regain his composure. And he wasn't far wrong. Because Zoro felt naked. More than that. Without his swords, he felt lost, defenseless. As incredibly weak as he had been back then. When he was still an inexperienced and stupid child. When he hadn't been able to protect himself from any danger. Himself and others. And even though he felt that way, not quite himself, he found it much harder to bear having his swords around him. The swords that had become a part of him. That were more important to him than anything else. At least, that's what he believed. – “I won't carry them with me in your presence anymore.” – “What?!” – Sanji had spoken louder than he intended. But he couldn't help staring at Zoro, who still didn't dare open his eyes. There was a short breath that filled the room and practically cut through the silence.

“I consider it inappropriate to be armed in your presence,” Zoro rephrased, opening his eye slightly, but only to look down at the floor. His eyelids were so heavily lowered that Sanji couldn't interpret his gaze. Was it guilt? Because he had really hurt him? Sadness? Because he was now without his most precious possession? What was going on in Zoro's mind? So many questions were burning on Sanji's tongue, but he knew it was better not to ask them all right now. It had been hard enough for both of them, and he was sure that Zoro needed this peace and quiet just as much as he did. So he decided to postpone any further conversations until they had both recovered from the events and let everything rest for the time being.

“You should get some rest too,” he said as he kicked off his shoes and reached for the blanket with his left hand. Once again, Zoro was quicker. Although Sanji didn't need his help to turn the blanket over, he insisted on doing it for him and waited until Sanji lay down in bed before covering him up again. Sanji was sure his head was bright red. No one had ever tucked him in before. No one had ever put him to bed and made sure he got the rest he needed. And then this stupid spinach-head did it in a way that made Sanji think it could be described as affectionate. Or had he just imagined the gentle, barely noticeable stroke across the blanket, right on his chest? Maybe Zoro had just wanted to smooth out the blanket and had shown him unintentional tenderness? Whatever it was, that and the fact that Zoro sat back down on the chair instead of lying down on his futon too made Sanji's heart beat wildly against his chest again. – “I'll stay awake and watch over you.” – Why did that damn marimo say that in such a damn loving way?

Chapter Text

When Sanji woke up again, he could see dawn breaking through the porthole not far from his bed. How long had he been asleep that the sun was already setting? And more importantly, why hadn't anyone woken him up? Still slightly irritated, Sanji sat up in bed. He propped himself up on his elbow, let the blanket slide off his body, and about to run his fingers through his hair. But before he could raise his arm to do so, he felt a hand on his head and rough, large fingers running through his hair, brushing it away from his face and then sliding back down. Startled, Sanji looked up to meet the gaze of his comrade, whom he had least expected to see. – “Zoro?” Sanji asked, now even more confused, and just stared at him. – “That's what you wanted to do, wasn't it?” was all Zoro replied as he sat back down on the chair next to his bed. And then suddenly, as if a light bulb had gone off in Sanji's head, he remembered why he was here and what had prompted Zoro to do such a strange and embarrassing thing. He looked down at his right hand, which was still frozen in the movement he had just tried to make. He saw the almost brilliant white bandage and felt an unpleasant throbbing that could only come from the wound on the palm of his hand. And what he also felt more than clearly was the burning redness that was slowly spreading across his cheeks. Zoro had stroked his hair. He had actually touched his hair and swept it back in one fluid motion. And he had done so before he was even aware that he was going to do it. Zoro had anticipated his movement before he had consciously decided to make it. And suddenly he wondered how well Zoro actually knew him. How long he had been watching his movements that he knew exactly what he was going to do before he knew it himself. And yes, he was embarrassed by it. Actually, embarrassed was no longer an adequate description. No one had ever stroked his head in such a gentle yet decisive manner before. And he found it even more embarrassing that he had enjoyed it in a strange way.

Sanji blinked a few more times before finally getting up and throwing back the blanket with his left hand. He couldn't think about it any more, otherwise he would surely turn the color of a fire extinguisher. And the last thing he wanted was for Zoro to notice his emotional turmoil. That stupid mosshead shouldn't think that it had triggered anything in him. As if! There was no deeper meaning behind this idiot suddenly being nice to him. And above all, he wasn't doing it because he wanted to. He felt obliged to be courteous. And then Sanji would feel obliged to accept the gesture. Nothing more. That was all it was supposed to be. And yet Sanji couldn't help but glance sideways at Zoro, who was now also standing up and watching every little movement Sanji even thought of making. Sanji should have been annoyed by being watched like this. And he kept telling himself that was the case. Nevertheless, he couldn't be angry with him. He just couldn't snap at Zoro and tell him to finally let it go. Sanji didn't know if it was because he felt sorry for the mosshead or if it had something to do with the feeling he was trying to bury deep inside himself. This feeling that sounded so treacherously like safety.

Sanji finally got moving, certain that he had been standing there longer than usual, and headed for the bathroom without another word. He was finally going to freshen up. But before Sanji could close the door behind him, he was stopped by a hand that made him look back, only to find himself staring into incredibly gray eyes that continued to scrutinize him. – “What are you doing?” Sanji heard himself ask. Even though he already knew the answer. Still, he had to ask just to stop staring at Zoro, unsure if his eyes had always been that fascinating color. Expressive and intense. – “I'll help you.” – Sanji was more than grateful for those words. Because they brought him back to the here and now and to the situation he was in. Even if he didn't like the meaning of those words at all. – “You're crazy! You're not going to help me pee!” – And with that, Sanji tried to slam the door in front of his nose, but Zoro was stronger. Without the door moving even a millimeter, Zoro continued to stare at him without saying a word. He seemed to be weighing up whether it was worth resisting or whether Sanji was right. After all, it was the last bit of privacy he should perhaps allow him, given that he was already watching him sleep. And indeed. Zoro nodded and took his hand off the door. – “I'd just ask you not to lock it. And if you need help, call me.” – Sanji should have been happy to have won this battle against Zoro. But he couldn't help feeling astonished. What was that just now? Zoro asked him for something? He actually asked him for something. He didn't order him, he didn't threaten him. He asked him politely, like a normal person. And it just made Sanji blink again. Normally, he would have snorted angrily, slammed the door shut, and locked it behind him. But this time, he couldn't. He hadn't been able to catch Zoro's gaze, which he had directed toward the floor as he always did when he felt uncomfortable, but he could still sense his guilt and see the concern in him, which only confused Sanji even more. And yet he understood. What had led to all this had happened just a few hours ago. Surely it was still weighing heavily on Zoro.

So he left it at that and closed the door behind him without locking it. He tried not to think about it any further and instead took care of his overdue personal hygiene. Because, to put it mildly, he felt dirty. Not just because of the dried blood stuck to the hairs on the back of his neck or because of the smell of old sweat he thought he could smell. His muscles were tense, his hand hurt, and Sanji was sure that a warm shower would make him feel better. So he tried as best he could to get rid of his clothes. Glancing briefly in the mirror, he couldn't help but notice that he looked just as terrible as he felt. He took a closer look at himself. His hair was messy and sticking out in all directions, his eyes were sunken and red, his skin was pale, and his shirt was soaked with blood. Remembering how his shirt had gotten that way in the first place made his stomach turn. The oppressive feeling spreading inside him made him turn away from the mirror and lean against the sink to take a deep breath. He didn't want to look at himself in this miserable state anymore. The whole thing was bad enough. And dwelling on the fact that he looked like he'd just been put through a meat grinder wasn't going to help him. So he started to undo his belt, which was surprisingly easy with just one hand. He pulled the belt out of the loop and tugged on it until the buckle fell out of the eyelet, relieving the pressure around his waist. Then he pulled the loop out of the buckle and the belt was open. Sanji was almost surprised at how easily he managed it. The button on his pants and the zipper were no problem either. What remained were the small buttons on his shirt, which were a lot harder to manage with one hand. But after some back and forth, the buttons of his shirt were also undone and he was able to pull it over his injured hand with the utmost caution before throwing his entire pile of clothes into the nearest corner and heading for the shower. He carefully turned on the water and waited for it to slowly warm up.

Until Sanji was finally able to stand under the warm stream of water. A sigh escaped his lips. It had been a long time since a warm shower had felt so good. He instantly felt all his exhaustion melt away. His tense muscles relaxed, and for the first time since everything had happened, he felt like he could breathe properly again. And he enjoyed it. But he knew he couldn't stand under the comfort of that warm stream forever. He was sure he had slept far longer than he actually needed to prepare dinner. Which meant he had to get a move on if they wanted to have dinner at a decent hour. Even though he was still wondering how he was going to manage that now that one of his most important tools was missing. He would already fail at cutting vegetables. And while Sanji continued to stare at his thickly bandaged hand, which he kept dutifully out of the warm water so that the bandage wouldn't get wet, he turned off the water. It was all pointless. Sooner or later, he would have to face these problems, as much as he wanted to avoid them. Because he didn't know what would happen to him if he wasn't even able to cook anymore. It meant everything to him. Cooking was his life. Cooking was his passion, it was what defined him. If he couldn't even do that anymore, what was he doing on this ship?

Sanji quickly shook his head, letting the water in his hair drip from his ends in thick drops, and tried to banish these unpleasant and painful thoughts. No matter how useless he would be, his friends would never throw him off this ship. And that was what calmed him down a little. Because to his friends, he wasn't just the cook. He was part of this crew, the family they had built here. And that made him smile slightly again. Because Sanji should have known that despite his injury, he had nothing to fear. But the irrational thought of what would happen if he really did remain useless simply would not leave him. And no matter how hard he tried to shake it off, it would always find a place in the back of his mind. Always ready to come back out. And that drove Sanji almost insane.

And yet Sanji tried to put his thoughts aside for the moment and reached for the soap. Barely resisting the urge to use his bandaged hand, he opened the cap and awkwardly tried to squeeze some onto his hand. But without success. All he could do was take the bottle in his hand and hold it over his head. Hoping not to get too much of it in his hair, he squeezed the bottle until he could feel the cold soap on his scalp. He did the same with his upper body and then began to rub everything in with one hand. With surprising ease, he soaped his body and hair until he thought he had washed away all the stuck-on dirt and blood. He reached for the faucet again and turned on the water. He ran his left hand through his hair and over his body until all the soap was washed away. And he felt good. So much better than just a few minutes ago, which made Sanji breathe a sigh of relief. With this feeling of relief, he turned off the water again and stepped out of the shower, grabbed one of the towels and began to dry himself. What he couldn't manage to do, however, was wrap the towel around his hips. He tried awkwardly, again and again. When it finally fell off his hips for the fourth time, he gave up and devoted himself to the task of drying his hair instead.

After what felt like hours, he was finally ready and looked around the bathroom, cursing himself for not thinking to bring a change of clothes. And after his battle with the towel, he was certain that he had no choice but to resort to the only option he could think of. Everything in him resisted, but he knew that there was no other way he would ever get out of that bathroom. Not naked, no way. So Sanji cautiously approached the bathroom door. – “Zoro?” – No answer from the other side. Sanji almost believed that Zoro was no longer there, which triggered an incomprehensible uneasiness in him. Not knowing why, he tried to push it aside and was about to reach for the doorknob to see if anyone else was in the cabin when it swung open. Just a crack. But it was enough for a hand to slip through, neatly draped with his clothes. And it didn't take Sanji even a split second to realize that it was Zoro's hand. Zoro, who hadn't even needed to be asked to bring him some fresh clothes. And as much as Sanji had cursed that stinging feeling in his chest before, he cursed it even more now that it had been replaced by a warm feeling. A warm feeling that slowly spread across his face, burning more and more intensely and making his ears burn.

Not sure how to respond, Sanji quickly took his clothes, muttered a hasty "thanks," and closed the door as soon as the hand withdrew. He couldn't help but lean heavily against the door. What was wrong with him? Why did it trigger such feelings in him that Zoro obviously didn't need words to understand him, to read him? It was as if he knew him. Inside and out. And even worse, why wasn't he worried about that? Why didn't he panic when he thought about how he was nothing more than an open book to Zoro? Was he perhaps the same to all his comrades? Something inside Sanji told him that wasn't the case. That it was just Zoro who seemed to know him better than he knew himself. And there it was again. That warm feeling in his chest. Almost as if he was happy about it. But that was nonsense. Zoro should be the last person to know him in such a way. Who seemed to know him at all. And maybe it was all just his imagination. Maybe his brain was still so foggy from the events of the day that it was easy for everyone in his crew to read him. He just wasn't himself today, that was all. Sanji was sure of it. On any other day, Zoro wouldn't be able to see his next moves so easily. Zoro wasn't that observant. Not with him.

And Sanji was satisfied with this explanation. It was plausible enough to convince himself, so why shouldn't it be true? In any case, he liked it a hundred times better than the thought that Zoro seemed to have seen through him at any time and had done so for a long time. Because that would mean that he could no longer hide anything from him. That he couldn't fool him anymore. And that made Sanji feel incredibly naked. Defenseless. And he hated being defenseless. He wanted anything but that. So now he would finally do what was his job on this ship. He would cook.

So Sanji pushed himself away from the door with a final sigh and went through the clothes Zoro had given him. Pants, shorts, shirt, tie, jacket. He had really thought of everything. He simply ignored the fact that Zoro had brought him his favorite yellow shirt, which he usually wore with his black tie – also his favorite tie – and dismissed it as a coincidence. Sanji quickly got dressed, or at least he tried to. The shorts weren't a problem. The pants were difficult. He awkwardly stepped into the legs and tried to pull them up over his legs with just one hand. And for the first time, he asked himself why on earth he wore such tight pants. With a lot of effort, he squeezed himself into them, pushed the pants as far as he could over his calves, then pulled them up over his knees and continued pulling them up. When he finally managed it, he breathed a sigh of relief. He had been afraid he wouldn't be able to do it himself and would have to ask Zoro for help. That was by far the worst scenario he could imagine. He would have given all the treasure in the world to prevent Zoro from helping him into his clothes like a senile old man. This spinach-headed fool seeing him naked was one step too far. It was bad enough that he couldn't take a step without him. He wanted to keep this last bit of privacy for himself.

And Sanji clung to this thought. He really dug his heels in. Whenever he slipped off the button of his pants. When he missed the hole in his belt or was faced with the problem of how the hell he was supposed to close the sleeve of his shirt. But the last drop was to be the button placket of his shirt before the barrel overflowed. Sanji was frustrated. He had already resigned himself to not wearing his shirt tucked into his pants. But walking across the deck with his shirt open? That was definitely too much. He could even do without his tie. His shirt sleeves? No problem. He would just walk around like a wild homeless person. But like a prole? Even worse, like Zoro? Sanji still had enough dignity left to know that he had to prevent that. So he did the only thing that was right, no matter how much it went against his principles. – “Zoro?” – He called out to Zoro. Even though he didn't yet know how to ask him for such a favor. But maybe that wasn't necessary. Without saying a word, the door swung open again. This time wide enough for Zoro to enter the bathroom and walk toward Sanji, also without saying a word. Only when Zoro raised his hands and seemed to want to grab Sanji's shirt did he pause for a moment. – “I'll close your shirt for you,” he said, looking down. It wasn't really a question, but he was waiting for permission nonetheless. Permission to take care of it. To get closer to him and touch him. In that harsh way that Sanji knew from him, but at the same time with a sensitivity that he hadn't thought Zoro capable of. That's why Sanji just nodded briefly. Not knowing how else to react. After all, Zoro had never been a man of many words. But realizing for the first time how much meaning lay between those few words amazed Sanji. So he let it happen. He felt Zoro reach for his shirt and close the buttons with practiced fingers, working his way up from the bottom. And just as Sanji was about to ask him to leave the top two buttons open, Zoro stopped. Leaving those same two buttons undone. Sanji wanted to snort derisively. Of course, that airhead knew that he never buttoned those two buttons. It shouldn't have surprised him. Not after all the other things Zoro seemed to know about him.

“I assume you don't want to wear your shirt tucked into your pants.” – Again, no question. Because it was obvious that Sanji could do without it. Oh, and how he could do without it. The last thing he needed right now was an existential crisis just because Zoro might touch him in places that made his face flush. Sanji could do without that entirely. So this time he shook his head. Zoro took note and instead took Sanji's bandaged hand in his. – “It would be better if you rolled up your sleeves. To avoid putting pressure on the wound,” Zoro informed Sanji and proceeded to roll up the sleeve twice before turning his attention to the other arm and doing the same there. Sanji let it happen without comment. He was sure that the button wouldn't have closed anyway because of the thickness of his bandage. But who was he to point that out to Zoro? The next and final step would be his tie, which Zoro had already reached for. He turned up Sanji's collar before wrapping one arm around his neck to grab the other end of the tie. This resulted in Zoro being much too close to him. But maybe not. In fact, he was just close enough to put the tie around his neck. And yet it was much too close. Much closer than they usually were. Which made Sanji's stomach churn again. But this time not in a bad way. Or maybe it was. Because this was absolutely and profoundly awful. This was terrible. So terribly, horribly pleasant. And Sanji wanted to look away. He wanted to close his eyes and stop himself from staring at Zoro for even a moment longer. But he couldn't help himself. Not when he had one of these rare opportunities to trace his comrade's features with every glance. Every wrinkle and every scar. From his expressive eyebrows to his lips, which were twisted into a thin line. – “I-” – Zoro had spoken without looking up at Sanji. – “I don't know how to tie a tie,” he finally confessed, and only now did Sanji notice that Zoro had completely stopped moving. He stood there helplessly, holding both ends of his tie in his hands. And Sanji couldn't help but laugh quietly to himself. At any other time, this would have driven Zoro into a rage and led to their next physical confrontation. But not this time. Instead, his eyebrows furrowed even more, his forehead wrinkled, and he remained silent.

“Then it's time you learned,” Sanji replied casually and began to explain to Zoro step by step how to tie a decent tie. And Zoro listened attentively. He followed every one of Sanji's explanations without noticing how spellbound Sanji himself was by the way Zoro's hands glided over the fabric of his tie. Cross one end over the other and pull everything together into a knot. – “Not bad for your first time,” Sanji tried to make his voice sound as teasing as possible. Anything else would sound too much like a compliment, which Sanji certainly didn't want to give for such a simple task as tying a tie. His crooked grin was meant to emphasize this. Zoro, however, didn't feel provoked in the slightest. Instead, he took a step back, putting a reasonable distance between them, and looked at his work. A little too intensely, as Sanji realized after a few seconds of silence. Seconds in which discomfort rose within him until he finally cleared his throat nervously. – “It's time to prepare dinner,” he announced in a hoarse voice and walked past Zoro with slightly hasty steps out of the bathroom. He hurriedly slipped into his slippers, which he knew he didn't need help with, and went up on deck, knowing that Zoro was following him silently.

Up on deck, Sanji realized that total chaos had broken out in his absence. – “Sanji!” Luffy cried tearfully across the deck. Not surprising, considering his situation. He was tied to the mast with several ropes, with Nami standing in front of him, looking clearly desperate and even more angry. And before Sanji knew it, Luffy's head shot forward. He stretched his neck, tears in his eyes, obviously intending to hold Sanji in a kind of headlock. But before that could happen, Zoro's hand stopped him. He grabbed Luffy's face just inches from Sanji's. – “Can't you behave yourself even for a moment?” Zoro growled at him, applying more pressure to his face, knowing that it couldn't hurt Luffy. – “But I'm so hungry!” cried Luffy, letting his neck fall limply to the ground as if to emphasize his point, until his head was held up only by Zoro's hand. – “When are you ever not hungry?” was all Zoro had to say. Without much sympathy, he pulled his captain's face until his neck had enough tension to let it snap back to his body as quickly as it had come. “He's been whining in my ear for hours,” Nami shouted, giving Luffy a bump. – “We even had to tie him to the mast so he wouldn't eat all our raw supplies,” she continued scolding, now stomping over to Zoro and Sanji.

“Why didn't you wake me up? Dinner is long overdue.” – Nami shot Zoro a look that Sanji couldn't quite decipher. – “Well,” she began, this time a little calmer. – “We wanted to check on you.” – Nami paused again, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and looked away with an impassive expression. – “But your gorilla wouldn't let anyone but Chopper into the room.” – ”What?“ – With too much force, Sanji turned to Zoro, who in turn looked away just as calmly. – ”Chaos is breaking out here and you don't wake me up?” – Without thinking twice, Sanji swung his leg forward. He lifted his right leg and swung it in a circular motion to hit Zoro in the side. But once again, Sanji had underestimated how easy he was for Zoro to read. And with an ease that only Zoro could muster, he blocked the blow. He grabbed his shin. He wrapped his hand around it in a firm grip that didn't hurt. And Sanji tried to ignore the realization that Zoro's hands were big enough that his fingertips were pressing into his calf. – “You needed your rest,” Zoro said, sounding serious. It was a fact that was not up for discussion. – "And that's why you're letting your comrades hunger?" – Sanji couldn't let that go. Yes, he might have been temporarily incapacitated. But that didn't mean his friends had to wait for him with empty stomachs. And Zoro of all people should have known that. Because he knew just how much Sanji hated to see anyone go hungry. So how could Zoro allow that to happen when he seemed to know so well what was going on in Sanji's head? – “And they would have gone hungry even longer if you had collapsed in the galley.” – As if that was all it took to end their discussion, Zoro carefully let go of him. His grip on Sanji's leg softened and slowly guided it toward the ground. On any other day, he would have simply let go. He might even have given him a push. But not today. Instead, Zoro's hand followed the movement, making sure Sanji didn't lose his balance until the sole of his foot touched the ground again. And Sanji tried desperately not to read anything into those touches. No matter how tender they were. No matter how caring. And no matter how much the skin on his calf tingled as soon as Zoro let go of him in a stroking motion.

“So Luffy shouldn't make such a fuss over a few hours,” Zoro's voice was calm, no matter how admonishing his words were, which were clearly directed at Luffy. – “I hate to admit it, but Zoro is right.” – Sanji had almost forgotten that Nami was still part of their conversation. Which was actually unimaginable. The fact that Sanji was ignoring the presence of a lady was the final proof that something was definitely wrong with him. – “We all understand that even you get sick sometimes.” – “Except that I'm not sick. I'm fine. Really.” – He looked at her as charmingly as he could. Nami seemed to think about his words for a moment. – “Well, if that's the case,” she began, crossing her arms over her chest again. – “Off to the kitchen with you. Before our blockhead over there starts eating himself out of hunger.” – And with that, she walked away from them, leaving Zoro and Sanji behind until they were alone again. – “Let's get to work.”

Chapter Text

“You have to cut the vegetables thinner” – “Not like that!” – “Don’t cut so much off the potato!” – “Good heavens, how can someone who fights with swords be so incompetent with a kitchen knife?”

It was infuriating. Sanji was gradually losing his mind as he watched Zoro abuse the ingredients for even a moment longer. He had known that Zoro had no idea how to cook, but he hadn't realized it would be this bad. And although Sanji impatiently corrected him again and again, Zoro did nothing more than silently follow each of his instructions. It got to the point where Sanji almost felt sorry for him. Especially because Zoro didn't respond to any of his comments, no matter how harsh they were. Zoro endured everything while trying to cut the carrot in front of him into the finest strips possible with the kitchen knife.

Meanwhile, Sanji stirred the broth he had just poured into the pot with a wooden spoon. He deglazed the onions, which were also cut way too big, and then grabbed a spoon to taste it. He dipped the spoon into the broth, scooped some up, and scraped the bottom of the spoon against the edge of the pot. Without thinking, he simultaneously raised his injured hand to hold it under the spoon and bring the spoon to his mouth. Sanji looked down at the broth only to see a hand move into his field of vision out of the corner of his eye. It held itself under the spoon instead of his own, preventing even a drop of the liquid from dripping onto his bandage. Sanji followed the hand with his gaze, along the wrist, over the outstretched arm to the shoulder. Only to see that Zoro did not return his gaze. He looked down at the carrot as if trying to cut it into pieces with his eyes alone. The knife in his other hand lay with its blade resting on the cutting board, completely motionless.

Only when Sanji noticed that his inattention had caused some of the hot broth to drip from the spoon onto Zoro's palm did he tear his gaze away from his comrade. Zoro himself didn't even flinch when the hot liquid hit his skin and pooled there. Sanji quickly brought the spoon to his lips and tasted the broth. Only when he put the spoon aside did his hand withdraw. Sanji tried not to think too much about what had just happened. After all, it was nothing more than a minor incident. It was something Sanji should have expected. And yet he felt the blush slowly creeping into his cheeks. – “It's good,” he heard Zoro's expressionless voice beside him before he could see the movement out of the corner of his eye that prompted the comment. He saw the last flick of his tongue moving across his own palm, licking up the broth. – “Someone like you really has no taste for the finer points of cooking.” – Sanji felt even hotter when Zoro covered his skin with his tongue once more to take in the last few drops. Not wasting a single drop. Because he knew how much Sanji hated wasting food. – “Otherwise you would know that this broth is nowhere near good enough.” – Sanji tried to hide the excited pounding in his chest. With a bright red face and a lump in his throat, he turned away from Zoro and moved to his spice rack. – “And wash your damn hands before you touch the vegetables again!” he snapped at him before trying to remember which spice he had been looking for. All that remained in his head was a yawning emptiness. How could this gorilla distract him so much that he even forgot how to cook?

Sanji barely noticed Zoro heading for the sink and washing his hands. Just as Sanji had requested. Exactly as Sanji had requested. The way he had even instructed him to do it. Step by step, carefully spreading the soap between his fingers and up to his wrists. And Sanji was sure that Zoro didn't even know how to wash his hands properly until then. Nevertheless, he had followed all his steps once again. He even applied what he had learned to Sanji when he washed his left hand under the warm stream of water. And Sanji really didn't want to think back to how careful Zoro had been. He spread the soap on his skin almost reverently, lathering each of his fingers individually. Even over his nail beds and into the spaces between his cuticles. There was almost something ceremonial about the dedication Zoro showed in this task. He dried him off with a clean kitchen towel and made sure that not a single inch of damp skin remained.

The mere thought of it made Sanji tremble. The thought of those large, calloused hands touching his skin. Hands that knew nothing but violence. He had to stop thinking about it. He would much rather concentrate on cooking. After all, his comrades had been hungry for far too long. So Sanji quickly grabbed some of the spices and went back to the stove. He added some of the spices and then turned back to Zoro. — “Now the vegetables,” he instructed him. Zoro threw the vegetables in far too roughly, causing the broth to splash in his direction. “Not so rough,“ Sanji growled at him. – “The rice should be ready soon,” he added without waiting for a reply, which he knew wouldn’t come, and lifted the lid of the pot in which the rice was simmering. The dessert, which was cooling in the oven, was also ready, leaving only one thing left to do.

“Start setting the table. I'll get the bread ready.” – Without waiting, Sanji went to the drawer where he kept the bread. Luckily, he had prepared a few loaves not too long ago. He took one of them, placed it on a clean cutting board, and picked up the bread knife. And before Sanji could think about how exactly he should cut the bread, another hand appeared. A hand that enclosed the loaf of bread and held it in place. Sanji didn't even need to look to know that Zoro had rushed to his aid once again. He did so anyway. He saw how Zoro returned his gaze this time. In his other hand, he was holding a pile of dishes that was far too large, and Sanji almost feared that it would collapse. But Zoro stood there unmoved. Not even a twitch of a muscle was visible, not a single expression changed. Only his fixed gaze was directed at Sanji's own eyes. And without another word, Sanji began to cut. Slice after slice, closer and closer to Zoro's fingers, without really getting there. Until he reached the end of the loaf, with only the end piece left. And Zoro let go. He was about to start setting the table when he was rudely stopped by Sanji, who roughly shoved one of the end pieces into his mouth. – “Thanks,” Sanji muttered to himself and went back to the rice, which must have been ready by now. Zoro, on the other hand, chewed happily on the piece of bread as he began to set the table. With a satisfied smile on his lips and the realization that even Sanji seemed to know him well enough to know that it was his favorite piece of bread. Which he rarely got because Luffy inhaled food faster than he could draw his swords.

They spent the rest of the time before dinner in silence. Silence in which Zoro draped each of the pots on the table. He laid out the napkins and placed the cutlery on top. – “Dinner's ready!” echoed loudly across the deck. And before Sanji's voice had completely faded away, he took a wide step to the side, still holding the door handle in his hands. Only for Luffy to come shooting through the door a second later and knock over his chair in his attempt to sit down. The rest of the crew followed much more calmly, but no less hungry. – “Ladies,” Sanji said as soon as Nami and Robin entered the galley. He was already about to pull out their chairs before Zoro beat him to it again. Without a word and without getting in anyone’s way, he grabbed the ladies’ chairs and pulled them back. This prompted Nami to give Robin a questioning look. However, Robin simply accepted the gesture with gratitude and took her seat. Nami also sat down on her chair, slightly unsettled, and rested her forearms on the table. – “That looks fantastic, Sanji,” Nami praised him, which Sanji dismissed with a casual wave. – “It’s nothing. Unfortunately, dinner will be a little simpler today, but I hope the ladies will enjoy it anyway.“ – “Sanji! Where’s the meat?” shouted Luffy, interrupting him as he was about to swing his long arms across the table. – “You gluttonous idiot, you’ve already eaten most of it. We'll have to be more careful with the rest of the ration until we reach the next island.“ – “Does that mean there’s no meat?” – Luffy was on the verge of tears when he realized what that meant. He looked up at Sanji with glistening eyes, his lower lip trembling dangerously. – “Pull yourself together!” With a firm slap on his rubber hands, Zoro made them snap back. Unimpressed by his captain's emotional outburst, he reached for Robin's plate. As Sanji always did, he loaded her plate with food. He even tried to make it look appetizing, but with less success.

“Zoro seems to be taking this whole thing pretty seriously,” Nami whispered, leaning slightly toward Robin and making room so Zoro could fill her plate. Robin just giggled. – “I didn’t expect anything else,” Robin replied, picking up her fork. The rest of the group began filling their plates one by one. They engaged in excited conversation and paid no further attention to Zoro, who still hadn't taken a seat. Only when his comrades began to eat did he reach for Sanji's plate. He knew that Sanji always started eating last, always waiting until his friends were fed and there was enough left for them to fill their stomachs first. Zoro actually took this into consideration and waited patiently. He hadn't even touched his own plate yet. Sanji couldn't even be angry with him for that. After all, Zoro was more or less a part of him for an indefinite period of time. And Sanji just couldn't bring himself to reprimand him for his devotion. So all he could do was nod gratefully and start eating himself. The rest of the dinner was relatively quiet by their standards. Usopp told his stories. Franky reported on one of his new ideas. Chopper mostly inquired about Sanji's well-being, while the women carried on a conversation of their own.

And whenever it was time to bring something new to the table, Sanji didn't take a step without Zoro. Whenever he got up from his chair, tried to bring a new plate to the table, or wanted to attentively pour water for the ladies. Zoro was everywhere. Even when Sanji thought Zoro wasn't paying any attention to him. The truth was, Zoro's full attention was on Sanji. On what he was doing, what he was thinking of doing, even if he wasn't aware of it himself. To the point where it should have annoyed him. Where he should have told Zoro to finally slow down. But something in Sanji stopped him. He tried not to admit to himself that he even enjoyed the attention Zoro was giving him in a strange way. How much he supported and cared for him. After all, the only reason for his actions was his lingering guilt. That was all it was. And Sanji clung to that. So he endured the rest of dinner, even though his body was telling him it was long past time for some rest.

Zoro seemed to notice this too and discreetly brought dinner to a close. He began clearing away the dirty dishes one by one. He ran water into the sink and added some soap. His comrades got the message and joined him, leaving the galley one by one. – “Phew! That meal was fantastic. Now I really need a nap,” said Luffy, stretching and getting up from his seat. – “I couldn’t agree more, Captain. After such a good meal, it's the perfect opportunity to finish reading my book.“ – Robin also stood up and moved toward the exit. – “Franky, I need your advice on one of my inventions.” – “Oh, can I see it too?” asked Chopper excitedly, leaving the galley with Usopp and Franky.

“Can I help with the dishes?,” heard Zoro Brooks’ voice behind him and turned to him for a moment. – “It’s okay. It’s my turn to dry today anyway.” – There was no question that Zoro would take over the washing up and drying. Brook accepted this and left the room with the rest of the crew. Sanji let out an exhausted sigh. He also got up and walked over to Zoro, who had his back to him and was diligently washing the dishes. – “Do it properly,” Sanji warned, and instead sat down on a bar stool. He felt restless and tired. And for the first time in hours, he realized that he hadn't smoked a single cigarette since the incident. The withdrawal was slowly setting in, and he felt around his jacket with his left hand. – “Where are-” – Before Sanji could finish his sentence, there was that damn hand again. His wrist was still wet from rinsing, but dry enough not to ruin the cigarette he held between his fingers. – “You left them in your other jacket,” was all Zoro had to say. With a trembling hand, Sanji took the cigarette without a word. He took the filter between his index and middle fingers and then between his lips. A moment later, Zoro pulled out his lighter and held it in front of Sanji's cigarette with the flame lit. Sanji leaned forward a few inches, held it in the flame, and lit the tobacco. Smoke rose between them and Sanji leaned back. – “Thanks,” he muttered again, and Zoro placed the lighter on the table in front of him.

Before Zoro could turn away from him to go back to the dishes, Sanji beat him to it. He turned on his stool and leaned his back against the counter. Just fast enough that Zoro didn't notice how hot his face was getting again. And God, was he glad his ears weren't visible. Otherwise, he would surely see the redness in them. At least, that's what the throbbing in his earlobes told him, from all the heat rushing to his head. Sanji took a deep drag on his cigarette, enjoyed how it spread through his lungs, and exhaled the smoke between his lips without putting the cigarette down. With his beloved nicotine in his lungs, he immediately felt much more relaxed. He finally knew what had been making him so restless for the last few hours and basked in the pleasant calm that always set in once the last meal had been served. He let his head fall back a little and closed his eyes. He took another drag and stretched out his right hand to finally bring it out from between his lips. As soon as fingers closed around the filter, he released the cigarette and exhaled the smoke in one burst. The only difference was that it wasn't his own fingers holding the cigarette a mere millimeters from his lips. – “You shouldn't smoke with that hand.” – A shiver ran down Sanji's neck. He felt hot breath against his throat and opened his eyes, blinking. Zoro had approached him again, leaning deeply over the counter. He held his cigarette between his fingers and his face close to Sanji's ear. – “My fingers aren't hurt,” Sanji replied wittily, not moving an inch away from Zoro. – “Your bandage is going to stink. And I can't imagine that's healthy for your wound.” – And as if it were the most natural thing in the world, the filter moved closer to his lips again. – “But if you really need a hand” – Sanji hoped he was just imagining it. Zoro’s deep voice, calm and quiet in his ear. As if it were an invitation. As if Zoro wanted to tell him something, standing so close to him. But whether he was imagining it or not, Sanji opened his lips slightly. He allowed Zoro to slip the cigarette between them, his rough fingers touching his lips. And immediately, the smell of onions filled Sanji's nose. Onions that Zoro had cut into messy, oversized pieces for him not too long ago. With calluses the color of the carrots he had also prepared for him.

Sanji took another deep drag. He waited until Zoro took the cigarette from his lips and exhaled the smoke. He enveloped Zoro's hand in it, which absorbed the smell as quickly as the smell of onions. Sanji had never smoked a cigarette in such an intimate way before. He refused to allow himself to think that there was something almost erotic about it. Ashamed, he turned his head away from Zoro. – “You're ashing on the floor.” – Sanji cursed himself for not sounding firm enough, not reproachful enough. Instead, it was little more than a whisper. To cover it up, he took the cigarette between his fingers with his left hand, ignoring how they brushed against Zoro's, and Zoro moved away from him again. He got up from the counter and immediately placed an ashtray on it. The sound was almost deafening. It echoed far too loudly in the silence of the kitchen.

As if nothing had happened, Zoro continued washing the dishes, placing them next to him to drain and then began drying them with a kitchen towel. Sanji didn't turn to him once during this entire time. He just listened to the clattering of the dishes and tried to calm his nerves with three more cigarettes. With little success, as he was forced to admit. The sun had already set behind the horizon. Most of their friends had retired to their beds, and it was slowly time for them to call it a day as well. And when Zoro had cleared away the last piece of crockery, they left the galley. They tiptoed to the dormitory until they closed the door behind them. A moment later, Sanji took the nightclothes Zoro held out to him, once again without Sanji having to say a word, and disappeared into the bathroom. He moved through the room as quietly as possible, took off his clothes with surprising ease, and put on his nightclothes. Then he turned to the mirror, looked at himself for a moment, and picked up his toothbrush. He moistened it briefly and was already faced with the next problem. But it was one that Sanji was not willing to give up on. He had to prove to himself that he was still capable of living on his own. He didn't have to call Zoro for every little thing. He wasn't going to embarrass himself like that. So he placed the toothbrush as straight as he could on the edge of the sink, reached for the toothpaste, and opened the cap. With a steady hand, he squeezed some onto the brush and then closed the tube again.

Sanji was clearly far too proud of himself for such a trifling matter. But he couldn't help grinning. Damn his injured hand. He wasn't going to let it get him down. Confidently, he picked up the toothbrush again, only to fail on his first attempt. The brush tilted to the side and toothpaste splattered the edge of the sink. Fortunately, on his second attempt, most of the toothpaste stayed on the brush, and that would have to suffice for now. Sanji brushed his teeth, rinsed his mouth, and wiped the toothpaste off the sink. Satisfied with himself, he left the bathroom and went to his bed, where the covers had already been pulled back. He lay down, pulled the covers over himself, and sighed contentedly when his head finally touched the pillow.

“I-” – Zoro sounded hesitant. It was so unusual that Sanji turned his head to look at him. He watched as Zoro glanced indecisively between him and the bathroom door. And Sanji waited. He knew what Zoro was getting at and waited for him to make up his mind. – “I'll be right back,” he whispered so as not to wake the others, but loud enough for Sanji to hear him. And with that, he was gone. Just as Sanji had suspected and hoped, to get ready for bed. Now he lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling, with a feeling in his chest that he couldn't describe. It was the first day of many that Zoro would now follow him. But now, alone with himself for the first time that day, he felt strange. Empty. As if something was missing. As if the comfort and security he had felt had gone with Zoro. It was a strange feeling. More than that, it was absurd. It wasn't as if he were in danger here, surrounded by his comrades. Quite the opposite, in fact. But Zoro had made him feel something he had never felt before during the last few hours. And it made him look uneasily toward the door, wondering when he would return.

At the same time, he wondered for the first time how far Zoro would go to make up for what had happened, ignoring himself and his own physical needs. How far would he go to earn Sanji's forgiveness in his eyes? How much would he give up? Before Sanji could think about it any further, the bathroom door opened. His attention was drawn to Zoro, who had just reentered the bedroom and was walking slowly toward him. He was wearing nothing but his pants, his boots off and without his green coat or haramaki. The last light from the lanterns on deck shining through the porthole into the room was enough to make out Zoro's silhouette. His broad shoulders and muscular chest. Sanji swallowed hard as the light caressed his body. Zoro continued toward him, unaware of what was going on inside Sanji. Or maybe he did know. Just as he knew everything when it came to Sanji. Whatever the truth was, Zoro didn't let on, walking over to Sanji's bed and sitting down on the floor. Leaning against the wall, he crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes.

“What are you doing?” Sanji whispered irritably into the darkness. – “Sleeping,” Zoro replied without even opening his eyes. – “On the floor?” Sanji hissed, unable to believe what he was hearing. – “In case you need me.” – “Damn marimo!” Annoyed, Sanji leaned on his elbows to look down at Zoro, who still didn't move. – “You can't be serious.” – “I've slept in more uncomfortable places,” was all he replied, his breathing already shallower, as if he were really falling asleep. Sanji gritted his teeth uncomfortably. He knew he couldn't stop Zoro from getting his way. That only frustrated him even more. – “Then-” – For a moment, Sanji was about to tell Zoro to stay where the sun don't shine. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Zoro had already done enough for him, and all because of a stupid accident. He couldn't let him sleep on the floor for the next few weeks. – “Then at least move the futon over here,” he growled defeatedly and turned away from Zoro much too aggressively. That was the only compromise he could offer him. If Zoro refused that too, then he couldn't help him for the night.

And just as Sanji thought he had lost the argument, he heard the floorboards creak. Even though he couldn't hear any footsteps, he knew what it meant. Zoro went over to his futon, picked it up, and laid it down next to Sanji's bed. It was only possible because Zoro preferred sleeping on a futon rather than a bed. Which was probably why he had no problem spending the whole night on the floor. Zoro had always complained about mattresses being too soft and teased Sanji more than once for sleeping like the princess and the pea. Which Sanji couldn't even deny. He loved a well-made, soft bed. Bedding that felt like silk against his skin and the fresh scent of clean laundry. Which was not exactly the case with Zoro. He could see at a glance that Zoro's futon had seen better days. With a light blanket that would surely leave Sanji freezing all night. Especially near winter islands. But Zoro had always been a minimalist. Which didn't surprise Sanji in the least. Not when there were only three things in Zoro's life that really mattered. Sleeping, alcohol, and swords.

Sanji almost envied him for how little he needed to be happy. On the other hand, it was probably sad in a crazy way to find joy in nothing else. To give his life only one meaning and completely block out all the other beautiful things. But who was he to judge? Besides, it was none of his business how Zoro lived his life. He had no right to do so. Not when the only thing they had in common was their loyalty to Luffy.

Holding his breath, Sanji listened again to the silence. He tried to guess whether Zoro was already asleep. But apart from Luffy's steady snoring, there was nothing to be heard. Sanji carefully turned to the other side and looked down at the edge of the bed. His eyes fell on Zoro, who was lying stretched out on his back on his futon. Both arms were crossed behind his head, every muscle relaxed. Even his face was completely smooth. Not even a frown, just gentle features that were rarely seen on him. And Sanji couldn't help but notice that when Zoro wasn't looking like he wanted to kill someone, he was actually quite handsome. His straight nose, expressive eyebrows, and even the scar flattered him. That scar, which no one still knew how he had gotten. But that didn't matter anymore. It belonged to Zoro, and it was now difficult to imagine him without it. How deep was it? Would Sanji be able to feel it if he ran his fingers over it? Did it still hurt? Did it make Zoro uncomfortable to look at himself? What memories did he associate with it?

Lost in thoughts, Sanji absentmindedly reached out his left hand toward him. He didn't even know what he wanted to achieve. Only that he paused when Zoro frowned for a split second. It was no more than a twitch, but it was enough for Sanji to pull his hand back. He couldn't risk Zoro opening his eye and looking at him. Probably still believing that Sanji needed something. After all, he wasn't crazy. Sanji could never explain what that had just been. Not even to himself.

With a suppressed sigh, Sanji threw himself onto his back. He covered his eyes with his arm to prevent himself from looking at Zoro anymore. And as he lay there, he asked himself again and again. What was wrong with him?

Chapter Text

When Sanji opened his eyes for the first time, a new day had already dawned. And he had to admit, he felt much better. He was rested enough that his circulation had stabilized and he was fit enough to prepare breakfast without overexerting himself. The only thing stopping him from jumping out of bed with joy was the throbbing pain in his hand. The pressure under the bandage was almost unbearable. So bad that Sanji thought he could feel the stitches. With a hissing sound, he reached around his right wrist with his left hand. As if that would make any difference. His hand closed around the bandage to feel for any swelling. And sure enough, his forearm had increased slightly in circumference, which didn't surprise him. His fingers, on the other hand, looked healthy, even if they felt a little stiff.

However, Sanji didn't have time to worry about it. It was time to prepare breakfast. So he threw back the blanket and swung his legs out of bed. Only to feel soft fabric under his feet. Not quite what he expected, given that the entire bedroom was covered with wooden floorboards. Until he remembered why. He looked down at the futon he was standing on. Then over to the figure sitting against the wall at the head of the futon. – “You're already awake?” Sanji asked in a sleepy voice. He looked at Zorro more closely and noticed that he was already dressed and ready to start the day. – “Not much earlier than you.” – Zorro’s voice also sounded hoarse. He probably hadn’t used it since he got up and cleared his throat when he noticed it.

The rest of their friends were still asleep. It was always like this when Sanji opened his eyes for the first time of the day. Ready to start the day before everyone else. – “Whatever,” Sanji muttered to himself, rubbing his forearm again in pain. Zorro rose from his seat at the same time Sanji got to his feet, immediately holding out a stack of neatly folded, fresh clothes. Sanji took them without a word, not thinking about everything Zorro had already prepared while he was still asleep. Quietly but with tired steps, Sanji headed for the bathroom, closely followed by Zorro. This time, however, he stopped in front of the door before Sanji had a chance to say anything. He leaned against the wall next to the door and waited, which Sanji gratefully acknowledged. He went in, closed the door, again without locking it, and began to change his clothes. As far as he could, anyway. Only when he had finished washing his face, brushing his teeth, and combing his hair did he open the door again. His shirt was still open and he was holding his tie in his hand. This was signal enough for Zorro to enter the room and close the door behind him. A quick glance into Sanji's eyes and his hands reached for his shirt, just as they had the day before. He carefully buttoned each button, took the tie and tied it loosely around Sanji's neck. His movements were still unpracticed, but he did so without further instruction.

The whole situation already felt less strange. They enjoyed the peace between them, and Sanji even voluntarily held out his arms to Zorro so that he could roll up his shirt sleeves just as carefully. They left the bathroom, Sanji in front, until he felt two strong hands on his shoulders, guiding him back toward the bed. Without resisting, he let himself be led until he was sitting on the edge of the bed again. Still silent, he watched as Zorro knelt down in front of him. This was enough to make Sanji's face flush. But when he took one of his ankles in his hand, far too gently, he was on the verge of losing his mind completely. When Zorro then took one of his shoes in his other hand, Sanji finally understood what he was up to. This damn gorilla was actually putting his shoes on him. He held his foot by the heel and guided it into the shoe, toes first. He then slid his hand up his heel to his ankle to make room for the shoe, until his hand came to rest on his calf. Even worse, Zorro then placed the sole of his shoe on his thigh and immediately began to tie his shoelaces.

In any other situation, Zorro would never have allowed Sanji's sole to touch anything but his blade. Which made this moment all the more intimate. Zorro allowed Sanji's feet, his weapons, to touch him. Just as his had touched Sanji yesterday, albeit less dangerously. And Sanji was still unsure whether Zorro was aware of this deeper meaning, whether he had even initiated it intentionally, or whether Sanji was simply going crazy. Imagining things that weren't there. Things that even Zorro didn't attach any meaning to. Whether Zorro was subconsciously treating every part of him as if it were sacred. As if Sanji could break under the slightest touch of Zorro's hands. The thought annoyed him a little. He was certainly not that fragile, not that weak. And at the same time, it warmed his heart. Because for the first time, he felt cared for. Important. Understood. Almost-

In one fluid motion, Zorro stood up again, snapping Sanji out of his thoughts. He noticed that he was now wearing both shoes and had been staring ahead absentmindedly for a moment. An inviting hand in his field of vision brought him back to his senses. He pushed it aside with his own hand. – “I can do that myself,” he added and stood up, taking care not to step on Zorro’s futon. Zorro didn’t comment, took a step to the side, and waited until Sanji left the room before silently following him. All the way up to the galley, always two steps behind him.

When he arrived in the galley, Sanji wanted to start preparing breakfast, but he was stopped again by Zorro. – “Sit down,” he said, as if it were not debatable that Sanji would obey. – “I have to prepare breakfast,” Sanji replied and continued toward the stove. – “Sit down,” Zorro repeated, this time more insistently, but without raising his voice. Just a firm look into Sanji's eyes told him that he was not to be trifled with right now. – “I really don't have time for this,” Sanji sighed defeatedly and did as Zorro asked. He sat down heavily at the kitchen table, crossed his legs, and fished a cigarette out of his breast pocket. He didn't even have to take his hand off the cigarette before the tobacco glowed and smoke rose from it. Zorro put away the lighter he had used to light Sanji's cigarette and walked over to the kitchen counter. He didn't say another word, and Sanji didn't question it. He smoked his cigarette, pulled the ashtray closer to him, wherever it had suddenly come from, and stared at the ceiling. If this continued, his friends would have another late meal. And Sanji disliked that at least as much as he disliked them going hungry.

Only when he saw Zorro approaching him again out of the corner of his eye did Sanji lift his head. He stared in amazement at the table where Zorro had placed a plate and a glass of water. – “What the-?” – Sanji continued to stare at the plate. On it were two slices of bread and the cheese cut into large cubes. “Chopper gave me these,” said Zorro, as if that explained everything. He reached into his pocket and placed two white tablets on the table next to the glass. – “They're painkillers. Chopper gave me instructions on how to take them and said you shouldn't take them on an empty stomach.” – Sanji couldn't help but look at him in amazement. – “It's not a proper meal, but it should do.” – Sanji was still staring. What seemed to be slowly unsettling Zorro, as he turned his head to avoid his gaze. He made an ungainly movement with his hand toward his hip, as if reaching for something that wasn't there.

Zorro had noticed. Zorro had seen that his hand was hurting, even though Sanji hadn't said a word about it. More importantly, Zorro had served him something. For the first time since he had set foot on a pirate ship, he was the one being fed. Sanji sat at that table, in that kitchen, eating something someone else had prepared for him. Even if what Zorro had put in front of him could hardly be called a culinary masterpiece. And he ate without waiting for everyone else to be satisfied. He ate all by himself. Because it was his stomach that needed to be filled. – “Thank you,” Sanji fought against the lump in his throat. He grabbed the bread and a piece of cheese and didn't stop until he had emptied the entire plate. Zorro had the decency not to watch him the whole time. Instead, he went back to the kitchen and prepared the utensils Sanji would need for cooking.

Only when the last piece of bread disappeared into Sanji's mouth did he take the pills in his hand and wash them down with the glass of water. He then placed it on the plate and carried it back to the kitchen before putting it in the sink. Still silent, they began to prepare breakfast together. Zorro cut the vegetables. Sanji, skilled with one hand, cracked the eggs. This time without mocking Zorro for his poor cooking skills. Because Sanji could suddenly see how hard he was trying. With every piece that was finer than the last. With every movement and every self-critical glance. Zorro was really trying. That was more than enough for Sanji. He knew that good cooks weren't born overnight. And maybe he could teach Zorro a thing or two over the next few days. And maybe, just maybe, Zorro could develop a new passion. Something they could share. Sanji almost snorted at the thought, but held back. It was absurd to think they would ever stand together in the kitchen like this again once his injury had healed. And even though it already filled him with a touch of melancholy, it was probably for the best.

Just as Sanji was about to toss the fish in the pan, the galley door opened. – “Yohoho! Good morning, early risers!” Brook greeted them cheerfully and entered the galley. – “Good morning, Brook. Tea as usual?” Sanji asked as he took the pan off the stove and held it over a plate. Zorro, with a spatula in his hand, simultaneously made sure to place the fish on the plate. – “Only if it’s no trouble,” Brook replied and sat down at the kitchen table. He knew better than to get in Sanji’s way when he was busy in the kitchen. – “Of course not,” Sanji assured him and put the pan back down. – “I have to check on the omelet. Will you make the tea?” – It was the first time he had ever asked Zorro to do something. Normally, Zorro always seemed to know exactly what to do, even if he didn’t always know how. But he had never given Zorro active instructions before. It was strange, but Sanji didn't think much of it. Only when Zorro unexpectedly came closer, near his ear, did he almost jump out of his skin. – “How exactly does he drink his tea?” Zorro whispered. His eyelids were slightly lowered, as if he felt uncomfortable asking the question. And Sanji could well imagine why that was. Probably for the same reason that Sanji looked at him in amazement, his face much too close to Zorro's, trying to figure out if this was supposed to be a joke.

Zorro obviously didn't know how Brook liked his tea. – “Earl Grey with two spoons of sugar and a dash of lemon.” – Zorro didn't know how Brook liked his tea. – “How much is a dash?” – Zorro didn't know how Brook liked his tea! – “Cut a lemon into eight pieces and serve one of them on the edge of the saucer.” – Zorro really didn't know. He just nodded and then went to boil some water for Brook's tea. Sanji couldn't believe it. He had been trying to convince himself that he wasn't special. That it didn't mean anything that Zorro anticipated Sanji's every move, because he did that with all of his friends. Because he knew all of his friends, even if he didn't want to admit it. Simply because Zorro was naturally observant enough to notice such things. But he was obviously lying to himself. It was just more obvious with Sanji, whom he could read so well. He paid so much attention to him that he knew every one of Sanji's thoughts before Sanji himself was aware of them.

“How was the night watch?” Sanji heard Zorro's voice far away, as if muffled by cotton, as Zorro placed the teacup on the table in front of Brook. – “Uneventful,” replied Brook, stirring the cup with a teaspoon. – “So don't worry, you didn't miss anything,” he added. – “Wait, night watch? It wasn't your turn,“ Sanji chimed in, once his brain had processed what his friends were talking about. – “Shouldn't have-” – Sanji paused. He looked at the two at the kitchen table, who could surely see the wheels turning in his head. Until it clicked. It was Zorro's turn for night watch. – “Yohoho! I'm not sleeping anyway. So no big deal," Brook waved it off and sipped his cup. Zorro had neglected his duties to stay with Sanji. Sanji hadn't wanted that. And slowly, the true extent of this situation dawned on him. He tried to catch Zorro's gaze. To read something in it that could give him an answer. But Zorro avoided him. He moved away from the kitchen table and started setting the table instead. Zorro was clearly uncomfortable. And Sanji had no intention of starting an argument in front of Brook. So Sanji went back to his breakfast and waited until the rest of the crew was ready to come to the table.

Which would soon be the case. Little by little, the galley filled up with his comrades. They sat down and Zorro began filling the ladies' plates, just as he had done with the previous meal, until he sat down as well. – “How are you today, Sanji?” Chopper asked over breakfast, taking one of the sweet rice balls that Sanji had prepared especially for him. – “Much better, thank you,” replied Sanji, not mentioning the painkillers he had taken before breakfast. – “That is good to hear. But that alone is not enough, of course. Taking care of your injury is just as important,“ Chopper launched into a lecture, looking at him seriously. His gaze kept wandering toward Zorro, as if his words weren't meant for Sanji alone. – “After breakfast, please come to the infirmary. I'll change your bandage and take a look at how it's healing." – Sanji nodded in agreement. He returned to his own meal and poked at the piece of fish on his plate with his fork. Only for Zorro to take it out of his hand, pick up the knife that was still lying unused on his napkin, and begin to carefully separate each piece of fish from the bones.

Sanji didn't miss the looks, especially from Nami, as they watched what was happening. Sanji wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground. Of course, it shouldn't have been surprising how much dedication Zoro showed. But his comrades had only seen a fraction of what Zoro was willing to do. This made Sanji feel even more uncomfortable in his chair. Until Zorro was finally done and turned back to his own food, as if he hadn't just done something completely absurd. And no one at the table said a word about it. Not even the conversations had stopped during that time. Only knowing glances pierced him. Until even those died down. Which made Sanji breathe a sigh of relief. He was even more relieved when breakfast was finally over and he cleared the table with Zorro's help. Their friends left the galley to go about their own business, leaving the two of them alone. – “Sanji, remember to come see me afterwards,” Chopper reminded him again before leaving the room as well.

Zorro silently cleaned the dishes while Sanji smoked his cigarette and watched him. He was still thinking about how Zorro had let Brook take his night watch. Or how he had cut his food into bite-sized pieces for him. How he had lit his cigarette for him. Goddamn, how he looked when he held it between his fingers. –“If you keep staring like that, you’ll burn a hole in my back,” Zorro’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts, still not turning to face him. And it was the first time since the accident that Zorro had spoken words that were even remotely teasing. Something that, with enough imagination, could have started an argument. But Sanji felt far too caught out to respond. He just snorted and then turned his gaze away from him. He put out his cigarette and stood up. – “While you’re busy, I’ll go see Chopper,” he said, patting his jacket. – “I’ll come with you,” Zorro replied calmly, still drying off. – “I don’t need you for that. Chopper knows what he's doing." – Sanji continued toward the door. Surely Zorro couldn't be so paranoid that he couldn't even leave him alone with a doctor. But that seemed to be the case. Because a moment later, he saw Zorro's hand opening the galley door for him. – “Just in case.” Sanji didn't even need to look at him to know that wasn't the whole truth. Not the real reason he was insisting on this. But what could Sanji say? He was weak. And for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to resist. He just sighed deeply and stepped out the door. As always, Zorro followed close behind.

Only when they arrived at the infirmary did Sanji stop. He knocked on the door and waited for Chopper's voice to tell him to come in. – “I'm here,” Sanji announced, as if Chopper hadn't been waiting for him. – “Sit down. I'll take off the bandage,” Chopper said, pointing to the stretcher in front of him. He didn't even question why Zorro was also present and began the treatment. – “The bandage held up very well,” Chopper remarked as he turned Sanji's hand in his hooves. – “It was applied by an excellent doctor,” Sanji quipped. But they all knew why Sanji's bandage was still as neat as if it had just been applied. And Sanji couldn't help but glance in Zoro's direction. He watched him standing there leaning against the wall. His own eye was focused on Sanji's hand. Even more so on Chopper's hooves, which were touching him and carefully removing the bandage.

“The bandage is stuck to the wound. It's not serious, but it will hurt a little when I pull it off.” – And before Sanji could reply, Chopper jerked the bandage off, removing it from the scab that had formed over Sanji's wound. – “Ouch!” Sanji cried out in surprise, looking down at his palm. A small trickle of blood was visible where the bandage had been stuck. – “It's okay. Actually, that was to be expected, given the depth of the wound,” Chopper reassured him and immediately grabbed some swabs and disinfectant, which he used to start cleaning the wound. At the same time, he peppered Sanji with questions. – “Are you in pain?” – “Not really. I was this morning, but the pills helped.“ – Chopper examined the wound more closely. He moved his face closer and seemed to be looking for something. – “Any other symptoms? Tingling or numbness?” he asked, without taking his eyes off the wound. – “No tingling. But my fingers do feel a little numb,“ Sanji admitted, causing Chopper to look up. – “Then please try to move each of your fingers. First individually, then all together.” – Chopper let go of Sanji's hand and watched as each of his fingers began to bend as far as the injury would allow.

“That's very good. You don't seem to have any major mobility issues,” said Chopper, relief evident in his voice. But he knew that further tests were needed before he could breathe a sigh of relief. So he turned his chair back toward his desk and picked up a larger needle. – “I'd ask you not to look at your fingers. I'm going to run the needle over your skin and you tell me if you can feel it," Chopper explained, moving the needle closer to Sanji's hand. And Sanji did as Chopper asked. However, he didn't know what made him look up into Zoro's eyes instead of simply closing his own. All he could concentrate on was Zoro's gaze, which was as inscrutable as ever. And yet there was a fire burning in those eyes that seemed to consume Sanji. It captivated him and almost made him forget what he was supposed to be concentrating on. – “Can you feel that?” he heard Chopper’s voice far away, without looking away. – “Yes,” he whispered. – “And that?” Chopper asked again. – “Yes,” Sanji confirmed again. And again and again. Whenever he felt the slight prick of the needle on his skin. Still caught in Zorro's gaze. Until he wasn't anymore. The contact broken by Zorro himself, who looked in the direction of his hand for a fraction of a second. With an expression so subtle that Sanji almost missed it. But he could see the pain in him. So Sanji followed him. He looked down at Chopper, who also had eyes only for his injured hand. Until Sanji realized what the problem was. He saw the tip of his ring finger begin to bleed where the needle had pierced his skin. But Sanji didn't feel it.

“That's nothing to worry about for now,” Chopper put the needle aside and picked up another swab to apply pressure to his ring finger. – "Your injury is fresh, numbness is not an uncommon side effect. We should only be concerned if the feeling doesn't return in the next few days.“ – Chopper put the swab aside and began to reapply the bandage to Sanji. Only when he was finished did he speak again. – "The good news is that your wound is healing well. There are no signs of infection. Just a little irritation, but that's completely normal. What we need to focus on is getting the feeling back in your fingertips.“ – Chopper let go of Sanji again. – “Massaging your fingers to stimulate blood circulation can help. Resting your fingers can cause stiffness, which massage also helps to prevent. I'll change your bandage again in two days and then we'll see,“ Chopper concluded. – „Any other questions?“ – Sanji just shook his head. He had to process what he had just heard. Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't even had time to wonder why Chopper asked the same question to Zorro, who also just shook his head.

“I know it's still a shock. But don't worry, we'll get through this,” Chopper encouraged him, noticing that Sanji was barely listening. Only when Zorro came back closer, now that the treatment was over, did Sanji come to his senses. He looked at the hand that had been offered to him so many times over the last few days. – “Thank you, Chopper. I know you're doing your best." – Sanji gave him a sincere smile and took Zoro's hand in his. He let himself be pulled to his feet, his bandaged hand close to his chest. – “If there’s anything else, don’t hesitate to come to me.” – Sanji just nodded again and then let Zorro pull him out of the infirmary by the hand. – “Thanks, Chopper,” Zorro replied before they left the room, not looking back. Only when they were back in the safety of the galley did they stop. With the door closing behind them, Zorro directed Sanji toward the kitchen table until he sat down. Zorro pulled up a chair for himself and sat down opposite him, already holding a lighter in his hand. He immediately lit the cigarette that Sanji was holding between his lips.

“Give me your hand,” were the first words Zorro spoke to him after a long time. With his own hands on the table, he waited for Sanji to place his in them. And he did. Without wasting a thought on questioning it. Because there wasn't a single thought in his mind. Because instead, fear was consuming him. And so they sat in silence again. In the distance, they could hear the hustle and bustle on deck. They even thought they heard a small explosion, followed by Usopp's cursing, which sounded a lot like Luffy's name. But none of that could disturb the calm between them. Not when Zorro was busy running his fingers tentatively up and down each of Sanji's fingers. Warming the skin and moving his fingers in circles. Massaging with increasing pressure without causing even the slightest pain. And Sanji relaxed. With his maltreated hand in Zorro's. Until even his thoughts relaxed.

“I'm sorry,” Zorro's voice broke the silence after what seemed like an eternity. It was the first time Zorro had ever said those words. He had committed himself to Sanji and read his every thought, but this was the first time he had actually apologized to him. And there was so much remorse in his voice that Sanji couldn't help but believe him. Even if he had doubted it before, this was proof enough. – “I know.” – And then there was silence between them again. Lost in their own thoughts, Sanji watched Zorro’s every move. Even if he couldn’t feel them, he could still perceive them. He absorbed them and held them tight. To see how Zorro was trying to repair something he had broken with his own hands. And Sanji wished he would succeed. He knew he would. Because Zorro achieved everything. Because he was stubborn and determined. Because he would never allow himself to lose. Because Zorro was a winner. Which made it so much easier to trust him. To place all the hope that remained in Sanji into his hands. To curl his own fingers and hold on to Zorro's. And Zorro returned the pressure. Like a promise. And Zorro kept his promises. Every single one.

Chapter Text

“We should reach the next island in a few days,” Nami announced over lunch. – “Yay! Finally, a new adventure!” shouted Luffy, happily munching on a piece of meat. – “What does a few days mean?” asked Franky, trying to drown out Luffy. – “Two, maybe three days,” replied Nami. – “That’s perfect. Then I'll start making a list. We're running low on supplies,“ Sanji chimed in, leaning back in his chair, while Zoro was already back at his plate. He cut the potatoes into quarters, took the meat off the bone, and refilled his glass with water. – “That's a good idea. I also need a few things for the Sunny. I hope they have good wood there," Franky agreed. No one seemed to pay any attention to Zoro's behavior this time. Neither did Sanji, who silently endured it all. Especially after what had happened after breakfast. After seeing that he wasn't the only one affected by the accident. Zoro was struggling with it too. And if that was what brought Zoro at least some peace, then Sanji would be the last person to deny him that.

“I just hope it's not a winter island,” Sanji said again, picking up the fork Zoro had left on the edge of his plate. – “Don't worry. According to my calculations, the temperature should have dropped already if we were heading for a winter island.” – Which wasn't the case, as Sanji was pleased to note. – “Too bad. I haven't seen snow in a long time," Chopper mused. He was by far the crew member who enjoyed winter islands the most. Sanji couldn't blame him. It always reminded him of his homeland, which he surely missed. – “I'm sure, we'll see snow again soon,” Robin said encouragingly, giving Chopper a smile, which he returned just as cheerfully.

And so lunch went by. Until Sanji and Zoro were alone in the kitchen again. Already falling into a routine, Zoro lit a cigarette for Sanji before starting to wash the dishes. – “I shouldn’t forget the shopping list,” Sanji remembered and stood up, still holding the cigarette between his lips. Zoro watched him for a moment as he rummaged for a pen and paper, ready to intervene if necessary. – “So, what do we need?” Sanji asked himself, sitting down at the kitchen table this time. – “Meat is at the top of the list. I don't want Luffy whining at me for weeks,“ he continued talking to himself aloud and was about to pick up the pen. But he stopped before he even tried to reach for it. – “Zoro,” he sighed, aware that Zoro had already stopped washing the dishes, knowing that Sanji would need his help. What was strange, however, was that he didn't rush to help right away. Normally, Sanji didn't have to say a word for Zoro to get moving. Unless Zoro didn't know how. Which was even stranger.

Sanji sighed a second time. – “You write and I’ll go through our supplies,” Sanji instructed, rising from his seat again. He pushed the pen and paper over to Zoro, who now sat down hesitantly. Sanji began by opening the refrigerator and inspecting its contents. – “Okay, we need meat, cheese, and eggs,” he said loudly enough for Zoro to hear him. Then Sanji went to the pantry and opened it as well. – “We need a larger quantity of flour this time, in case we run out of bread quickly. Oh, right, you can add fish to the meat list as well. I hope they have more exotic varieties on this island than on the last one,“ Sanji said without pausing for breath. With his head buried deep in the pantry, he didn't even pay attention to whether Zoro was keeping up with his writing. – “And we need sugar too. Which is weird because we have more than enough salt,“ Sanji continued, coming out of the pantry and turning to Zoro. – “But maybe we should skip the sugar. It just tempts Chopper to eat more-” – Sanji trailed off as he started walking toward Zoro. – “Why aren't you writing?” he asked, addressing Zoro directly for the first time, who was just sitting there staring at the sheet of paper with the pen in his hand, without answering. – “Everything okay?” Sanji asked worriedly, taking a few more steps closer.

Slowly, Sanji began to feel that something was off. Something he should have noticed earlier. But without being sure what it was, Sanji was groping in the dark. Unsure what to do when Zoro did nothing but ignore him. – “Don't tell me you can't read or write,” Sanji said, doing the only thing he knew would always get a reaction out of Zoro. He teased him. In hindsight, this wasn't the best decision, considering that every muscle in Zoro tensed at his words. – “I can read,” he finally replied through clenched teeth. – “My handwriting just isn't very-” – Zoro's grip on the pen tightened so much that Sanji almost thought it would break in half. – “Legible.” – Was Zoro really trying to tell him that he couldn't write properly? – “But you went to school?” – Sanji felt like he was walking through a minefield. Even if they weren't in the situation they were in, it wasn't a topic Sanji dared to joke about. Zoro seemed visibly uncomfortable admitting that he lacked the ability to write properly. The fact that Sanji hadn't even noticed until now, despite spending so many years together, showed how hard Zoro was trying to hide it.

“Of course I went to school,” Zoro said, his muscles still tense even though he relaxed his jaw. – “But I was never good at it. All I knew how to do was fight.” Zoro sounded almost ashamed, as if he had more self-doubt than Sanji had previously thought. – “That's why I never thought it was important.” – Sanji didn't know how to respond. He had never given a second thought to whether his friends could read and write. Even though he knew that many of them had grown up in poor circumstances. Unlike him, who, despite his family background, had enjoyed an exceptionally good education. And the fact that he took this for granted only showed how privileged he had been growing up. He felt sorry for all his friends who hadn't been so lucky. Including Zoro. Because there was obviously no one who supported him in learning and developing these skills. No one who encouraged him to practice and praised him even when he made mistakes.

“Like I said, we need fish and meat. Start writing. I'll repeat it for you more slowly this time.” – Sanji took another step away from Zoro, who immediately tried to protest. – “Curly,” he sighed, still holding the pen in his hand. – “No backtalk,” Sanji interrupted. – “It doesn't mean you can't write at all. We can do this." – And with that, the discussion was over. Sanji had remembered some of the things they needed and sat down next to Zoro, determined to help him write. However, he was careful to give Zoro at least some of his dignity back, which was surely already damaged enough after his confession. So he watched him write the first words in messy letters. And Sanji finally seemed to understand what Zoro was trying to tell him. His writing was uncertain. Almost scrawled like that of a primary school student. Even though he knew every letter and wrote most of the words correctly. Sanji corrected the few mistakes that crept in. When his U looked too much like an O. When he forgot the E after an I or confused the small D with a small B.

But Sanji took his time. No matter how long it took, he wasn't going to give up. He wouldn't rush him or tease him if he didn't get it right the first time. And the longer they sat there writing the list, the more relaxed Zoro became. He dared to write words he knew down on paper with more confidence. But he also took a little longer to think about it when he wasn't sure, without worrying that Sanji would get impatient. – “We need zucchini too,” Sanji added and waited for Zoro to write it down. He waited longer than he had for any other word. – “How- how do you spell that?” Zoro dared to ask after a while. He hadn't looked up the whole time and didn't do so now. He was still too ashamed to meet Sanji's eyes, which might condemn him for being so uneducated that he couldn't even write properly. But even if he could finally muster the courage to do so, he wouldn't see any of it. Not with the way Sanji began to spell the word for him. Slowly and patiently, until he had made the last stroke.

“That should be everything we need,” Sanji finished, and Zoro put down his pen. Still feeling a little embarrassed, he didn't say anything as Sanji grabbed the piece of paper and walked over to the refrigerator, where he stuck it on the door with the writing facing inward. This would protect it from the prying eyes of their comrades, who might ask uncomfortable questions. He didn't want to put Zoro in that situation under any circumstances. Silence fell between them again. And yet it was pleasant. In a way it rarely had been before the accident. For some reason, they had grown closer now that they no longer had the opportunity to fight each other. And Sanji wondered if he had really missed out on this all along. Whether this amicable calm between them had always been possible, if only they had managed to put their weapons aside. Whatever the answer, there was no point in dwelling on it. It wasn't as if they could turn back time. And maybe, once his injury had healed, they would fall back into old patterns. Forget the silence between them and fight each other instead.

“You smoke too much,” Zoro's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He had gotten up from his chair and come over to him the moment he saw Sanji absentmindedly put a cigarette between his lips. And so he stood there in front of him, as he had so often in the last few hours, holding his lighter. The flame lit under his cigarette, waiting for Sanji to bridge the last few millimeters. – “No more than usual,” Sanji replied. Exhaling the smoke he had just inhaled, he looked Zoro in the face. He took the opportunity to return the gaze he had avoided for so long. He wanted to show him that he didn't think any less of him just because Sanji had revealed a weakness he hadn't expected. And Zoro seemed to understand. He put the lighter away and moved away from Sanji.

And that should be all. Pretending nothing had happened was one of Zoro's specialties. Which is why they didn't talk about it anymore. Instead, they let the day pass as it would any other. Until it was time for dinner again, which they also got through without any further incidents. Until late in the evening, when Sanji noticed that Brook was taking over one of Zoro's night watches again. – “Are you sure that's okay?” Sanji asked as they were already on their way to the dormitory. – “You know I don't need you to sleep, right? Talking Brook into taking your night watch isn't very nice," he continued without turning to Zoro. Only when they reached the doorway to the dormitory did Sanji stop. Knowing it was pointless, he stepped aside to let Zoro open the door and hold it open for Sanji. – “I didn’t talk him into anything,” was all Zoro replied. He lowered his voice as they entered the room. There was no trace of annoyance in his tone. – “Brook offered it himself.” – Without paying any further attention to Sanji, or so it seemed, Zoro prepared his sleeping clothes. He took everything Sanji would need out of the drawer and handed it to him. In the meantime, Sanji had kicked off his shoes, which Zoro now carefully picked up and put aside.

And Sanji shouldn't be surprised. Brook was actually a very courteous comrade. A true gentleman. Unless he was asking women to show him their panties. That's why Sanji dropped the subject. Which didn't mean he felt any better about it. After all, it was his injury that got Brook involved in the whole thing. Whether voluntarily or not. But who was he to interfere? That was between Zoro and Brook. And if Zoro felt indebted to Brook, that wasn't his concern either. After all, it was Zoro who had conspired to make amends. Sanji was just going along with it. It was as simple as that. It had nothing else to do with anything else.

“I'm going to the bathroom,” whispered Sanji so as not to disturb his remaining comrades, who were already asleep. Although at that moment, not even the firing of a cannon could wake Luffy. But he knew that Franky was a light sleeper. The same went for Chopper, who hadn't gone to bed yet. He was probably still in the infirmary tinkering with some new medicine. Just like Usopp, who must have been wandering around the ship somewhere. Nevertheless, Sanji tiptoed to the bathroom. There, as he did every evening, he got ready for bed and began to unbuckle his belt after taking off his shirt. He tried to push the button on his pants through the hole and immediately slipped off it. – “Damn it,” Sanji cursed quietly to himself. – “What happened?” he immediately heard Zoro’s voice on the other side of the door. Surely already with one hand on the doorknob, ready to enter the room at any moment should Sanji need him. And inevitably, Sanji wondered how Zoro could hear him through the door. It wasn't as if he had been loud. In fact, he had barely heard himself.

“Everything's fine, Marimo. I just slipped on the button,” he tried to reassure Zoro just as quietly. Making sure that Zoro must have heard him, he looked at his fingernails. He tried to figure out where the sudden pain had come from when he slipped on the button. – “I just tore my nail,” he muttered and sighed heavily. At least it wasn’t bleeding. But that didn’t make him any less annoyed. Sanji attached great importance to his hands looking immaculate. He also hated the feeling of a torn fingernail. It gave him goose bumps just thinking about how it felt when he accidentally scratched himself with it. Not to mention that it made his fingernails different lengths, which he hated just as much.

But it was all to no avail. That would be a problem for later. So Sanji continued undressing. Once he had put on his nightclothes and brushed his teeth, he left the bathroom, glancing once more at his torn fingernail. – “Where's your nail file?” – Sanji paused in his tracks. – “What?” he asked, unsure if he had heard Zoro correctly. But the way he stood there waiting for an answer, Sanji was sure he had heard right. – “Your nail file. I know you have one lying around here somewhere,” Zoro repeated, still getting no response from Sanji. – “After all, you're incredibly meticulous when it comes to your hands.” – And Zoro wasn't wrong there either. Sanji took care to keep his hands well-groomed whenever possible. His fingernails were neatly cut and filed. It was so obvious that even Nami had gifted him a manicure set for one of his birthdays. Sanji accepted the gift with delight and embarrassment. – “In the drawer. Under my shirts,” Sanji finally replied, pointing with his left hand to the drawer in question. Of course, he had hidden the set there out of slight embarrassment. But also because he knew that Luffy and Usopp would surely just mess around with it if they found it.

But he was surprised that Zoro seemed to know about it. Only for a moment, though. Right after, he asked himself why he was even surprised about anything when it came to Zoro. He had proven often enough that he knew more than he seemed at first glance. Including his quirks and habits. And when Zoro finally held it in his hands, thoughtful and as careful as if it could break, he held out a hand to Sanji. Like an invitation, his gaze fixed on his face, waiting for Sanji to take it. And he did. Even if he didn't know why. But something in Zoro's gaze told him that it was right. That he could let Zoro guide him and take care of him. And he did so with everything he had. He wrapped his fingers around Sanji's left hand in a gentle grip, then led him firmly but just as gently toward the bed. He supported his weight as he circled Zoro's futon and sat down on his own bed. Still not letting go of him, Zoro knelt down in front of him again. He placed the case next to Sanji on the bed and now looked at his nails as well. After a few seconds, Zoro found the damaged nail and ran his thumb over it with a feather-light touch. With his other hand, he opened the case without looking, leaving Sanji wondering how he did it, and took out the nail file.

“If I'm too rough,” Zoro began before placing the nail file on Sanji's finger. – “Then just kick me.” – Was Zoro trying to be funny? Sanji couldn't really laugh about it. Not when Zoro was kneeling in front of him so damn devotedly again. Between his legs, with one of Sanji's feet on either side of him. No, he didn't feel like laughing at all. Instead, his heart was racing. And he tried not to actually swing his leg out and push Zoro away, just to make this feeling stop. What he couldn't suppress, however, was the slight twitching of his right leg. But instead of kicking out, his body seemed to decide on something completely different. – “That would only wake the others,” whispered Sanji. His voice much rougher than it should be, he nudged Zoro's leg lightly with his right foot. As if testing the movement, he pressed his bare toes into Zoro's thigh, his heel still on the floor. What followed was Zoro's squinting gaze at the spot where they touched. The fingers around his hand tightened and Zoro looked up. He looked at him as if he wanted to say something, but Sanji could only turn his head away in shame. He didn't give Zoro the chance and instead tried to hide the blush on his face. Zoro seemed to understand the message. He didn't even open his mouth and looked back down at their hands. Silently, he began to file his nail. Carefully, so as not to make the crack any deeper, which could possibly hurt his nail bed. In a steady motion. Always in the same direction, as Sanji noticed. How many times had Zoro watched him do this to know how to file a nail? Because he did it with such care even without Sanji guiding him with words.

And so they sat there until Zoro had finished with his finger. He ran his thumb over it again to remove the dust and admire his work. And as if it were the most normal thing in the world, he moved on to the next finger. – “You don’t have to,” Sanji began, only to be interrupted by Zoro. – “You hate it when they’re not all exactly the same length,” Zoro justified himself and continued unfazed, filing the next nail. And what else could Sanji do but let Zoro have his way? He waited patiently until Zoro had finished with the last finger and let go of him. Just as Sanji thought the moment was over, he saw Zoro's hand in front of him again. The palm was held up expectantly. – “I'll be careful,” whispered Zoro much more quietly than necessary. Almost as if he didn't want to destroy what they were sharing. This calm. The peace. The intimacy. And Sanji understood. He didn't want to let go either, so he placed his hand, this time his right, back in Zoro's. He entrusted him with his most vulnerable part. More than that, he trusted Zoro to treat him with care. And he did. Of course he did. Finger by finger. Nail by nail. Until he was done, taking meticulous care that none of the dust touched his bandage.

Zoro put the file back neatly in the case and closed it. But he still didn't move from his position. And Sanji didn't want to move either. Not until Zoro did it first. Which was what he was waiting for. What he hadn't expected, however, was that Zoro would take his injured hand in his again and begin to massage his fingers. Just as he had done that morning in the galley. Massaging every inch of his skin. From his little finger to his thumb. And Sanji couldn't prevent his foot from finding its way back to Zoro's leg. Seeking more physical contact, finding it, and resting there. They sat there for many minutes. Sanji's stomach was churning wildly. His face was burning with heat, and he was sure he would burst into flames at any moment. Only Zoro sat there motionless. Not a muscle moved, still massaging him with calm movements. And yet Sanji could see that something was boiling inside him. Even if Zoro didn't show it. But Sanji recognized it. In his aura, in the way his breathing changed. And he couldn't help but close his eyes, listen to that breath, and move his chest up and down in the same rhythm. Knowing what was to come. – “Curly,” Zoro broke the silence, but this time it was Sanji who interrupted him. – “Don’t.” – It was nothing more than a whisper. But it was enough for Zoro to fall silent again. Only for a fraction of a second did his movements falter, but he never stopped. – “Don’t,” Sanji repeated, this time more firmly. And he could feel Zoro's burning gaze on his skin. But whatever the hell was going on between them, Sanji wasn't ready for it. Not for what Zoro was trying to say. Not for admitting to himself what those feelings meant. And especially not for it ending again. And it would end if either of them said another word.

But what would also end it was if Zoro stood up and left. Which is what he did. He carefully placed Sanji's hand on his lap and rose from his position. With his eyes still closed, Sanji took it all in. He waited for Zoro to move away from him, to give him room to breathe again. But it didn't happen. Seconds passed in which Sanji didn't dare open his eyes again, afraid of what he might see. Until he felt a touch again. Hesitant and barely perceptible. Fingers touching his forehead, tangling in his hair and brushing it away from his face. Just for a brief moment. And then it was over. Only a stumbling breath could be heard, as if Zoro was about to speak again. But again, nothing happened. All Sanji felt was Zoro putting distance between them. Further and further, until Sanji heard the click of the bathroom door.

Sanji blinked and opened his eyes again. He stared at the door through which Zoro had left without saying another word. Without telling him where he was going. Without saying that he would be right back. He had simply left. And even though it was Sanji who had prevented Zoro from speaking, there was a twinge in his chest. For which he himself was responsible. After all, he didn't even know what Zoro had really wanted to say. But whether it were insults, expressions of discomfort, or something else entirely that Sanji didn't want to think about, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He had lost himself far too selfishly in that moment. How could he have done otherwise? When Zoro was like that to him. Like he had never been before. In a way that had been completely invisible to him before. As if there was a side to him that no one else ever got to see. That belonged to Sanji alone. And he wanted to keep it that way, just as selfishly. He couldn't do otherwise.

With a heavy sigh, Sanji let himself fall onto the bed. He buried himself under his blanket and waited for Zoro to return. For him to hurry back like he had done the night before. But no matter how long he waited, Zoro didn't come back. Just as Sanji was drifting off to sleep, he sensed a presence far away. Safety. And suddenly, it was so much easier to fall asleep. With the feeling of warm fingertips on his cheek, which he was surely just imagining.

Chapter Text

The third day had finally dawned. But Sanji couldn't open his eyes right away. Instead, he let out a groaning sound. His head hurt and he felt strangely exhausted. Several minutes passed before Sanji finally blinked and opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling with a glazed look. He didn't move a muscle. Only when a hand appeared and tentatively rested on his forehead did Sanji snap out of his half-sleep. – “You feel a little warm,” whispered Zoro, who was standing next to him at the bed. He was leaning forward slightly, his palm still on Sanji's forehead. – “I should wake Chopper. We don't want you to get a fever,” he added, and Zoro let go of him. – “I'm fine,” Sanji muttered to himself and slowly got up. He tested how stable his circulation was and how worried he should be about it. But surprisingly, he didn't feel as bad as he had expected. His head was throbbing, but apart from that, he was standing firmly on his feet.

“I really need a shower” – His nightshirt was sticking uncomfortably to his skin. And after feeling the sheet, it felt clammy too. That would explain his restless sleep. Which made a warm shower even more tempting. Sanji got up completely. He walked around Zoro’s futon and headed for the bathroom. Much more practiced, he took the clothes Zoro held out to him and went inside. He quickly got undressed and jumped into the shower. Then he brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and got dressed before the door opened again and Zoro finished getting Sanji ready so he could finally go up to the galley and prepare breakfast.

In none of these moments did Zoro take his eyes off him. Even less than before. Because something was wrong. Sanji seemed distracted and tired. He even ate the meager snack Zoro had prepared for him to take with his painkillers rather reluctantly. It was only when their comrades sat down at the table that Sanji seemed to notice how much energy this morning had already cost him. – “You don't look well,” Chopper said first. Ever the doctor, he immediately recognized the signs and turned his full attention to Sanji. – “Don't worry. I just slept badly,” Sanji tried to reassure him immediately, knowing that Chopper would make a bigger deal out of it than necessary. – “What's bothering you?,” Chopper asked, completely ignoring Sanji's words. Instead, he placed one of his hooves on the joint of Sanji's left hand to feel his pulse. – “It's really nothing.” – Chopper gave Sanji a serious look, still concentrating on his pulse. Sanji swallowed hard. – “Headache. Slight dizziness. And I think I'm cold.” – Chopper just nodded, took his hoof from Sanji's wrist, and sighed heavily. – “I think you have a fever. Which isn't surprising. Did you take the pills I gave Zoro?” – Sanji nodded. Zoro nodded too, to confirm. – “Come back to me after breakfast. I'll take another look at your wound. Just to make sure the fever isn't caused by an infection.”

And as if that settled the matter, Chopper turned back to his breakfast. Which seemed to be good. After all, he hadn't immediately panicked, which gave Sanji hope that it couldn't be that bad. That's why Sanji wasn't going to get worked up about it. However, this didn't seem to get through to Zoro. He practically pierced him with his gaze. He seemed to be trying to see right through him, just to make sure Sanji wasn't about to drop dead at any moment. And Sanji tried to ignore it. Which became increasingly difficult the more nervous Zoro became. Or what could be described as nervousness in Zoro. Because he didn't seem any different than usual to any of their friends. Only Sanji noticed the almost imperceptible twitching of his thigh. The little extra wrinkle between his eyebrows and the tension in his jaw. Sanji knew Zoro wouldn't calm down until they finally made it to the infirmary, where Chopper would give him the all-clear. And it made Sanji just as nervous. To feel how tense he was sitting next to him. All because Sanji had a slightly elevated temperature. Nothing to worry about. But Zoro did, for whatever reason. And Sanji really didn't want to sit next to this bundle of nerves for the next half hour. He'd go crazy himself.

So Sanji did something that, in his recklessness, he believed would calm them both down. Something they could focus on and that would signal to Zoro that he was okay. However, it only took a few moments for Sanji to realize that it had the exact opposite effect. At least for himself. As soon as his knee touched Zoro's, exerting slight pressure until it was returned, Sanji knew he was lost. He felt the telltale throbbing in his ears and the heat in his face again. With a lot of luck, it would be interpreted as a side effect of his fever. But Sanji knew what the real reason was. Embarrassed, he tried meticulously not to look in Zoro's direction. He even tried to ignore him completely while their bodies were still touching. What he couldn't ignore, however, was how Zoro increased the pressure. He slid his foot across the floor until their legs touched from the knees down to the ankles.

Sanji tried really hard not to think about why Zoro was doing this. He told himself that his plan was working. That Zoro was grounding himself with the touch. And as long as it worked, who was Sanji to deny him that? After all, he was the one who started it. That's why Sanji would continue to put up with it. No matter what it did to his innermost being. – “Breakfast was excellent as always,” Brook was the first to speak to Sanji, already ready to leave the table. The rest of the crew agreed with him until they gradually began to clear their plates. – “Oh dear, Sanji! Your head is bright red!” Chopper said alarmingly and stood on a chair to feel Sanji's forehead. – “Your fever seems to have gotten worse. You'd better come with me right away!” – Chopper jumped off the chair again in a hurry. He didn't even wait for Sanji to reply and rushed toward the door. – “But I don't feel any worse,” Sanji tried to reassure Chopper. He finally broke off contact with Zoro and also got up from his chair. – “See, I'm fine.” – With firm steps, Sanji took a few steps toward him, trying to convince him that he wasn't dying. – “When the dishes are done, I'll come over to you. I promise.” – Chopper looked at Sanji for a few moments. His gaze moved from his face to his hand until he finally looked at Zoro. – “All right,” Chopper relented. – “But as soon as anything changes, you carry him to me. Whether he wants to or not.” – Conscientious as Zoro was, he nodded. The way they talked over him made Sanji angry. But if that was what it took to calm Chopper down, he would suck it up.

Only when everyone else had left the galley could Sanji breathe out. Leaning against the counter with a lit cigarette between his lips, he watched Zoro washing up again. He traced every muscle that tensed under his green coat with his eyes. Moving whenever Zoro set one of the plates aside to dry. Captivated by the circular movements of his shoulder as he scrubbed one of the pots harder. Or by his lower back, which slumped slightly when he leaned forward. Damn it. Sanji was completely lost. When had he started noticing all these little things about him? It wasn't as if they hadn't been there before. So how could it be that this mountain of muscle suddenly had such an effect on him? Worse still, did Zoro notice what was raging inside Sanji? If he seemed to know everything else, could he sense this too? Was he perhaps even enjoying teasing him this way when he couldn't do it any other way? Sanji couldn't imagine that. He knew Zoro well enough to know that he didn't play with other people's feelings. At least not knowingly. He was too honorable for that. Too bound by his code. That wasn't Zoro.

“What was that?” – Sanji had heard it too. A loud bang on deck instantly snapped him out of his thoughts. Zoro also hurriedly put the plate aside and headed for the door to look out of the porthole. But before he reached the door, there was another bang and the Sunny began to sway dangerously. Zoro quickened his pace and glanced outside. – “Damn it,” he cursed immediately and took several steps back from the door. Sanji could hear Usopp calling for Franky. And he didn’t like the words that came out of his mouth. Because they confirmed the suspicion that had arisen in him. – “We're under attack,” Zoro said, coming over to him and pulling him off the bar stool to push him toward the kitchen. – “Hide in the pantry. And don't make a sound.” – “Are you crazy? I'm not going to hide while you're out there fighting!” – Sanji struggled against his grip. He braced himself and managed to get Zoro to let go of him. – “You're not back to full strength yet. You have a fever. You can't fight.” – For the first time in days, Zoro raised his voice against Sanji again. And something stirred in Sanji that he hadn't felt in just as many days. – “You bet I can!” he shouted back. They stood forehead to forehead, as they had in each of their otherwise harmless arguments. Only this time it was deadly serious. Sanji would be damned if he let this moss head banish him to the pantry. He was injured, but he was still useful. And he would prove it to him.

“I heard voices in the galley!” a strange voice reached them, instantly interrupting their argument. Zoro moved away from him again. – “They're coming,” he said more to himselfas he got into position. A few meters from the door, standing firmly, he gripped his swords with both hands. – “No.” – It was just a whisper, but Sanji could hear it. The disbelief in his voice and the shock of a cruel realization that almost made him stumble. – “What? What is it?” – Zoro didn’t answer. He just kept staring stubbornly at the door, which, luckily for them, still hadn’t opened. – “I left them on deck.” – “Damn it, Marimo, speak clearly!” – They didn’t have time for games. Whatever was troubling Zoro, he had to put it aside and prepare for the battle ahead. – “My swords! They’re still on deck!”

That couldn't be. It had to be a bad joke. But one look at Zoro's hip immediately told him that this was serious. Since the incident, Zoro had been unarmed. He had explained to Sanji why. And only now did they both realize the consequences. Zoro was unarmed. In the midst of an attack by enemy pirates, as they suspected. And Sanji wanted to yell at him for it. To scold him for being so stupid as not to carry them with him. But there was no time left. The footsteps toward them grew louder. They had to think of something quickly. – “A knife!” Zoro suddenly shouted, drawing Sanji's attention. – “Throw me one of your kitchen knives!” – “I'm not throwing a knife at you!” – This marimo had completely lost his mind. – “They're expensive!” – And not meant for fighting at all. But Sanji kept that comment to himself. Zoro couldn't be serious. – “Curly!” Zoro shouted at him as the galley door flew open with another loud bang. – “Damn it,” Sanji cursed, grabbing one of his knives at random from the knife block and throwing it at Zoro. – “Don’t break it!” he shouted, just as Zoro caught the knife by the handle and blocked the first attack.

With a clanging sound, the enemy's sword struck the knife. It was strong enough to crack the blade, and Sanji almost let out a whimper when he thought of how much Berrie Zoro was holding in his hands. But there was no time for such thoughts. More pirates stormed the galley, leaving Sanji with no choice. He skillfully swung himself over the bar counter with his left hand and kicked one of them back toward the door just as he was about to rush toward Zoro. Luckily, his opponent took two of his comrades with him and they crashed through the open door, tearing the frame out of the wall. Zoro parried the next attack and the blade broke in two. This left him with no choice but to dodge the next blow and knock his opponent out with a violent blow to the face with the handle of the knife.

“I need another one!” he shouted to Sanji, who was just about to kick the next one of them through the door with his flaming leg. – “Better make it three!” – “The hell I will!” – And Sanji really didn’t want to do it. He was far too fond of them for that. But watching Zoro dodge every blow, occasionally deflecting one with his Haki alone, made Sanji question his stubbornness. After all, this was about Zoro. And if that was what it took to keep him alive, then he would reduce his entire kitchen to rubble if he had to. So Sanji kicked out again. He swung himself back over the counter and this time reached less randomly for more knives. The longest and most sturdy ones he owned. And also the most expensive ones, but Sanji tried not to think about that right now.

“Catch!” was all Zoro got as a warning, and Sanji threw them to him. – “Then let's get started,” Zoro said to himself. With that confident grin on his face that Sanji knew so well. And from that moment on, he knew they had won. When Zoro was confident enough, even armed with only kitchen knives, they couldn't lose. Sanji breathed a sigh of relief. He went back to focusing on himself, knowing that Zoro could handle it on his own. And man, he sure did. In his three-sword style, he got into position. This time, he even remembered to reinforce the knives with his Haki and got started. He took them out one by one. He didn't even glance back when Sanji flew past him, missing his back by a hair's breadth. He knocked out one of the opponents who was sneaking up behind Zoro to strike. Even when two rubber hands shot into the galley, Zoro didn't let himself be distracted. He kept fighting until none of them were left.

“That was fun,” said Luffy, who was now standing with them in the galley, grinning as he looked at the mess. – “How on earth did that happen?” asked Zoro, who was considerably less amused than his captain. – “No idea,” he replied with a laugh, adjusting his straw hat. – “But if that wasn't a party!” – Luffy laughed loudly. He picked up some of the unconscious pirates from the floor and carried them back to the deck. – “He calls that a party?” – Sanji couldn’t believe it. If he already thought Zoro was crazy, then Luffy was absolutely insane. And yet it wasn’t that strange. It even elicited a quiet laugh from Sanji. He desperately needed a cigarette.

Sanji fumbled for his packet in his breast pocket, took out one of the cigarettes, and put it between his lips. All this while watching Zoro carefully place the three knives he had just been using as weapons on the counter. A moment later, he held the lighter under his nose again, waiting for Sanji to light his cigarette. And so they stood in the kitchen again, silent. Zoro was unchanged, as if no battle had just broken out in the middle of their kitchen. Sanji, on the other hand, was not quite so unscathed. Now that the adrenaline was slowly subsiding and nicotine was flooding his body, he felt less steady on his feet. Almost a little dizzy. – “I'll put that knife on your tab,” Sanji broke the silence to cover up how his strength was slowly leaving him. He took a deep drag on his cigarette and pointed to the broken knife on the floor. – “Of course,” Zoro replied with a grin, picking up the pieces and placing them on the counter. Sanji tried really hard to concentrate. But for some reason, his vision blurred and he felt as if he was swaying.

“That should teach you a lesson,” Sanji continued, clinging to every word he tried to utter. – “How can you go without-” – Somehow, he lost his train of thought. What was he trying to say? – “Without your-” – Sanji’s words grew quieter. More vague. – “Swor-” – Everything in his mind mixed together into a single jumble. His vision gradually darkened and he could no longer see the worried look on Zoro’s face. He couldn’t even hear the words he thought Zoro was saying. Because everything around him felt like it was wrapped in cotton wool. Sanji didn’t know what was happening to him. – “I think-” – There was only one thing he was sure of. – “I don’t feel well.” – And with those words, everything around him went black before he lost consciousness. He collapsed and was only saved from the painful fall that would have followed by Zoro’s arms. – “Oi!” – Zoro caught him. He wrapped his arms tightly around him and carefully knelt down. He cushioned the fall until Sanji came to rest leaning against his chest.

And as soon as Sanji's face touched his bare chest, Zoro knew what was happening. Sanji was burning up, even more than before breakfast, and his breathing was shallow. Sweat glistened on his forehead and seeped into Zoro's own skin. – “Chopper!” – Zoro shouted at the top of his lungs for the doctor. – “Chopper!” – He shouted again before Chopper could even react. If he had heard him at all. But Zoro had no time to wait for him any longer. Without much effort, he slid his arm under Sanji's knees and wrapped the other tightly around his shoulders. He picked him up off the floor and rushed to the deck, stepping on the cigarette that had fallen from Sanji's mouth.

“Chopper!” he shouted again. And for the first time, he could see what was happening on deck. Scattered pirates, also unconscious, were strewn across the ship. He could even see smoke coming from the Sunny's figurehead, along with a unfamiliar pirate ship not far from them and the rest of his comrades, who were trying to restore order. But there was no sign of Chopper. – “Damn it,” Zoro cursed quietly, trying to suppress the panic rising within him. – “Chopper!” - His voice hurt, but he finally managed to get the others’ attention. Robin looked in his direction first and immediately recognized the seriousness of the situation. She also started calling for Chopper, just as the ship's doctor came rushing around the corner, already holding his first aid kit in his hand. He was probably planning to treat the more seriously injured pirates before they were taken back to their own ship.

“Chopper, he's lost consciousness,” Zoro shouted to him before the doctor had time to realize what was happening. He reacted quickly and instructed him to take Sanji to the infirmary. – “Go into the room next door and put him on the bed. His fever has gotten worse, so cover him with as many blankets as you can find.” – Zoro didn’t need to be told twice. He almost ran toward the infirmary. He kicked every door open without thinking about how much more damage he was causing that Franky would have to repair. Finally, he arrived at the infirmary. This time, he opened the door to the next room more gently and laid Sanji on the bed after pulling back the blanket. He glanced at his comrade again. His face was burning hot. It had taken on an unhealthy red color and his breathing was just as shallow as before. Blonde strands of hair, soaked with sweat, began to stick to his forehead, and Zoro couldn't help but push them aside carefully. Then he turned to the other beds, gathered every blanket within reach, and laid them over Sanji.

“What happened?” Chopper asked as soon as he came through the door. He pulled up a chair and stood on it to examine Sanji. – “We were fighting. And at first everything seemed fine. But then he just collapsed. He was in the middle of saying something and then it just happened,” Zoro explained calmly. None of his emotions showed. Not the panic or worry he felt. Zoro was the picture of calm, even though a storm was raging inside him. – “The exertion made his fever worse,” said Chopper, taking the stethoscope he had been listening to Sanji with out of his ears. – “You shouldn't have let him fight,” Chopper admonished. He jumped off the chair, grabbed a thermometer, and stuck it in Sanji's mouth along with the blood pressure cuff, which he immediately placed around his upper arm. – “And you think he'll listen to me?” – Zoro knew Chopper was right. After all, he had tried. But this stubborn cook just couldn't help himself. And it annoyed him. Just as much as the fact that Chopper believed he thought so little of Sanji that he wasn't even aware of it himself. But he didn't have time for that either. It was more important to figure out how he could help.

Chopper took the thermometer out of Sanji's mouth and sighed heavily. – “He has a fever of 39 degrees. I'm not surprised he collapsed. We need to lower his body temperature as quickly as possible before it gets worse,” he explained, putting the thermometer aside. – “So what? Do we throw him in an ice bath or something?” – “No way!” – Chopper was quick to dismiss Zoro's idea. He looked downright panicked. – "Unless you want to kill him! The temperature difference could overload his circulation and send him into shock. Under no circumstances should he be exposed to that. Even water that's too warm could have the same effect on him. The best thing to do now is to give him plenty of rest, sleep, and let him sweat. His body is already fighting the fever on its own. He's trying to regulate his temperature by sweating, and we're going to help him do that." – That explained why he was supposed to throw the blankets over Sanji. It made sense to Zoro, and he nodded in agreement.

He continued to watch Chopper treat Sanji. He removed the bandage from his hand and inspected the wound. – “Just as I thought,” Chopper muttered quietly to himself. – “The edges of the wound are red. It looks like it’s infected. I just hope it clears up. In the worst case, I’ll have to reopen the wound and stitch it up again.” – And he didn't even want to think about what Chopper would find underneath. All he could do now was hope. – “I'll give him another anti-inflammatory. Then all we can do is wait.” – Chopper jumped up from his chair after cleaning and bandaging the wound again. He went back to the treatment room and left Zoro alone with Sanji for a moment.

Why did he feel like it was all his fault? Zoro had inflicted this injury on him in the first place. He had committed himself to him. With the intention of helping him. Of protecting him. But he had failed. He had let him down when Sanji needed him most. A moment when he should have been more stubborn. More vehement, pushing him harder not to rush into the fight. But Zoro had failed. – “One more shot and we’re done,” Chopper announced as he reentered the room. With the syringe ready in his hooves, he set about injecting Sanji with the medicine. – “Now he just needs plenty of rest,” Chopper said when he was done and walked away from them. – “I'll stay with him,” Zoro said, sitting down on the chair where Chopper had been standing. There was a finality in his gaze that Chopper never wanted to try to fight. – “I didn't expect anything else,” Chopper smiled at him and was about to leave the room when Zoro stopped him.

“Could you do me another favor?” he asked quietly, without taking his eyes off Sanji. Chopper just nodded, even though Zoro wasn't looking at him. – “On deck,” he began and paused again. – “My swords are on deck. Would you bring them to me?” – “Zoro, you know how I feel about weapons in the infirmary.” – “Please.” – Now he looked at Chopper. And that was enough for the doctor to give in immediately, even without knowing what had made Zoro look so conflicted. Chopper nodded again. He left the room and quietly closed the door behind him.

They were alone again. Zoro had hoped that he would finally be able to catch his breath. But he couldn't. Being alone, with only his thoughts and his unconscious comrade, made everything even worse. His self-doubt and feelings of guilt. All these thoughts that he had tried to suppress were now coming back to haunt him. They told him that he was too weak to protect Sanji. That he was stupid and ignorant for not carrying his swords with him. Because he had believed in false righteousness and respect, that it was better this way. And for this arrogance, he was punished. Not with physical injuries. Not for himself. Because he could endure that pain. He had felt enough of it in his life to no longer attach any significance to it. That was why it had hit him instead where it actually hurt. It hurt him in a way that was foreign to him. Became foreign after Kuina passed away. Because he did everything he could to stay away from it. It was the only pain he couldn't bear. The only pain he was too weak to endure. It took his breath away. It constricted his air until panic rose within him. And with trembling hands, he grabbed his hips. At the place where he was supposed to find support. Because there laid the only thing that had meant anything to him for a very long time. But the place was empty. And Zoro knew that only when they were back with him would he be able to breathe again.

Chapter Text

Time passed slowly as Zoro stood guard at Sanji's bedside. Ready to spring into action at the slightest movement from Sanji. But it was all false alarm. Occasionally, there was a painful groan. The rustling of the bedsheets. But no sign that Sanji was waking up. Zoro's grip tightened around his swords. Since Chopper had brought them to him from the deck to the infirmary, Zoro hadn't let go of them. It grounded him, to feel their presence. It was the only reason he hadn't completely lost his mind yet. He didn't dare do anything else. Not even a short meditation, which would certainly have been much more helpful. He was too afraid of drifting off too deeply. Because whatever it took, he would not allow his attention to leave Sanji for even another moment. Nothing could stop him.

Sanji let out another grunt. Zoro watched him more closely and noticed how his eyes squinted a little more. His forehead wrinkled until his eyelids blinked for the first time. And then again. – “Curly,” whispered Zoro, moving a little closer to him. He wanted to raise his hand, touch him, and wipe another strand of hair from Sanji's wet forehead. But he didn't. He didn't want to irritate Sanji any further, who was slowly coming to his senses. – “Zoro,” croaked a hoarse voice through the room. Sanji's eyes were open again, but he didn't seem to be fully conscious. It was as if his mind was still clouded, which Zoro could see through his glassy eyes. – “Where-?” Sanji began, trying to look around the room. His eyes moved back and forth uncoordinatedly, but he couldn’t make anything out. – “Shh. It’s okay. You're in the infirmary. After the fight, you were knocked off your feet and lost consciousness. You have a pretty high fever, but you'll be fine." – If Sanji hadn't still been so dazed from the fever, he would have been more surprised at how gently Zoro was speaking to him. But at that moment, he was just glad that he was there.

“Zoro,” Sanji's voice sounded whiny. He didn't know what he was trying to say. He couldn't think straight. Everything was spinning around him, so he tried to focus all his attention on Zoro. He clung to him like an anchor high at sea in the middle of a storm. He tried to keep his eyes open because closing them only made him feel more dizzy. – “It's okay. I'll call Chopper to check on you again. I'll be right back.” – Zoro stood up from his chair. He tried to hurry so he could get back to Sanji as quickly as possible. – “Don’t,” whispered Sanji. And it sounded as desperate as it had the night before. Although completely different. – “Don’t go,” he repeated. His eyes were only half open, his gaze veiled as he looked at Zoro. Completely out of it, Sanji raised his right hand. He tried to grab Zoro. To stop him from leaving. Only to feel a warm hand wrap around his wrist. Preventing him from touching Zoro. Protecting his battered hand, whose pain Sanji could no longer feel due to his fever. – “All right,” Zoro replied. He didn’t let go of Sanji and held his arm in a gentle grip. “I'll stay,” he assured him, sitting back down on the chair and moving closer to him. – “I'm here.” – Zoro no longer knew who he was really trying to reassure with these words. But they had an effect. On Sanji, as well as on himself.

Sanji raised his arm a little further. He summoned the last bit of strength he had left. Until his fingertips touched Zoro's face. Even though he couldn't feel it himself, his fingers still numb. But he could see it. How they pressed into his cheek, how Zoro leaned into the touch until his lips rested close to his skin. – “You're not thinking straight,” Zoro whispered, but the words never reached Sanji. He allowed himself to close his eyes. To enjoy Sanji's touch for a moment. And then he felt the arm he was still holding grow heavier. When he opened his eyes again, he realized why. Sanji had lost consciousness again. This time he had slipped into a restless sleep, and Zoro let go of him. But not without allowing himself to touch the tip of his middle finger lightly. It wasn't really a kiss, but Sanji's skin touched his lips. Setting them ablaze for more than one reason.

Zoro carefully laid Sanji's arm on the bed. He struggled with himself, wondering whether he should get up and call Chopper despite his promise. But he knew he had to. Sanji had finally regained consciousness, and it was safer for Chopper to make sure he was okay. So, with a heavy heart, Zoro got up. He hurried to fetch Chopper, hoping that Sanji wouldn't wake up again in the meantime. – “Did he say how he was feeling?” Chopper asked as he checked Sanji's blood pressure again. – “No. He wasn't awake for long. But somehow he still wasn't quite himself,” explained Zoro, who was now standing next to Chopper. He gave him his chair so he could examine Sanji. – “I'm not surprised,” he said, taking the thermometer out of Sanji's mouth. – “His fever has risen to 40 degrees. I think he's currently delirious from the fever. You need to keep a close eye on him. He may experience hallucinations, disorientation, memory loss, and restlessness. He should not be left alone under any circumstances.” – Chopper jumped off the chair again. He put his equipment away and hung the stethoscope around his neck.

“I left you a transponder snail just in case. If his condition worsens or other complications arise, call me. No matter what time it is. Of course, I'll stop by regularly to check on him,” Chopper explained, pointing to the transponder snail he had placed on a table in the corner. Zoro nodded and his hand wandered back to his swords. Of course, the stubborn cook had to be delirious. There was no other explanation for his behavior. There was no other reason he would cling to Zoro like that. Touch him. In the way he had denied him the night before. And Zoro had shamelessly taken advantage of it. He had enjoyed the touch and absorbed it as if it could be the last. Which it probably was. And Zoro was ashamed of that thought. Because he already missed it. Even though it didn't belong to him in the first place.

“I'll leave you alone now. As I said, if anything happens, call me.” – With that, Chopper said goodbye and left the room. And again, the minutes passed. Not a sound could be heard in the room. Not even the sound of the sea. All Zoro could do was concentrate on the cook's regular breathing. To pick up on even the slightest change. Until suddenly, he stumbled. His breathing became more irregular, signaling that Sanji was about to wake up. And that's exactly what happened. With a sigh, he tried to turn over in bed. He moved restlessly under the covers until he let out a desperate sound. – “Wet,” he whispered, trying to pull the blankets off his body. – “Everything is wet.” – His words were slurred. Mumbled indistinctly, but Zoro understood him enough to get up and lift the blankets Sanji was desperately struggling with. Sanji immediately arched his back. He put some distance between himself and the mattress to escape the unpleasant feeling caused by his sweat. Only for a shiver to take hold of his body immediately afterwards. – “It's so cold,” he muttered next, prompting Zoro to try to put the blanket back over him. But Sanji stopped him, kicking his legs nervously. – “No, no,” Sanji seemed obviously confused, which was a bit unsettling for Zoro, to say the least. Sanji was clearly cold, but he still didn’t want the blanket and was getting more nervous. He rolled onto his side and pulled his legs up to keep warm.

“Tell me what you need,” tried Zoro to calm him down somehow. But it seemed as if Sanji couldn't hear him. Only when Zoro touched him on the shoulder did Sanji come to his senses. – “Shower,” he muttered. – “A warm shower would be nice.” – Sanji threw himself back onto his back. All four limbs stretched out. His breathing quickened again, as if he were having trouble catching his breath. – “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Zoro replied, remembering Chopper’s words. – “But I can get you a wet washcloth. Okay?” – Zoro felt like he was walking on eggshells. He spoke each word carefully because he wasn't sure how lucid Sanji really was. But probably not too much, judging by the protesting sound he made. Sanji rolled back onto his side and tried to get up from the bed, swaying. – “That's not enough,” he slurred and fell back onto the bed when his legs gave way beneath him.

With frantic movements, he grabbed his tie, which was already loose and crooked around his neck, and tugged at it. He tried to pull it off, two fingers hooked into the collar of his shirt. It was just too much. The feeling of drying, cold sweat made him even more restless, and everything in him told him he had to get rid of these clothes. He had to get out of this shirt that was clinging to his skin and giving him goose bumps. At the same time, his body was shivering from the cold. Sanji pulled hard enough on his shirt that the first button popped off and landed carelessly on the floor. Zoro couldn't stand to watch any longer. He grabbed Sanji's wrist again, preventing him from completely ruining his shirt, and let his other hand slide down to his neck. He held him there and tilted his head back to look at him. – “Zoro” – Sanji's other hand found its way to Zoro's coat. He clung to it. – “Please.” – It sounded so utterly pitiful. It made Zoro swallow hard. Because he was looking down at Sanji. Into his eyes, which stared back at him glazed over. His own hand now drenched with sweat that had collected on the back of Sanji’s neck.

“Okay, okay,” Zoro sighed defeatedly and leaned closer to Sanji. – “But you have to calm down.” – Zoro’s fingers began to massage his neck, which seemed to help. Sanji’s breathing slowed and he absentmindedly moistened his lips. – “I'll help you out of your clothes. We'll go to the bathroom and you can take a quick shower.” – Zoro prayed to every god he knew that he would survive this. The mere thought of undressing Sanji with his own hands made his blood boil. It had been hard enough spending the last few days near him. Restraining himself from saying and doing the things he wanted to. What had Zoro done to deserve this? Faced with such temptation, it was only his self-control that prevented him from simply taking what he wanted. Oh, and he wanted it so badly.

But as always, his sense of honor and, even more so, his shame got the better of him, and he pushed these thoughts aside. He let go of Sanji to untie and remove his tie. Sanji, however, still held on to Zoro. He wavered for a moment until Zoro reached for his jacket and began to squirm under his movements. In an attempt to slip the jacket off his shoulders himself, Zoro slowly lost his nerve. He grabbed Sanji by the jaw and forced him to look him in the eyes again. – “Behave yourself,” he warned, albeit with less heat in his voice than he would normally have used. But it seemed to have an effect. Sanji's muscles were still twitching restlessly, but he let Zoro do the work. He let him take off his jacket and unbutton his shirt. And Zoro did a thorough job of keeping Sanji still. He slipped the shirt off his shoulders, taking great care not to touch his heated skin. He didn't trust himself to know what else might happen to him.

“Can you stand up?” asked Zoro, as Sanji sat in front of him with his upper body exposed. Sanji tilted his head, looked at him as if he didn't understand the question, and then nodded briefly. – “Hold on to me,” Zoro instructed him, guiding Sanji's left hand to his shoulder until he placed it around him and its fingers dug into his neck. Immediately afterwards, he helped Sanji to his feet. He put his own hands around his waist and stood him up. With more momentum than intended, as he didn't expect Sanji to have enough strength to help. But he managed it, and Sanji staggered forward as soon as he was on his feet, straight into Zoro's arms and against his chest. Sanji's fingers dug deeper into the skin of his neck to keep himself upright, and Zoro took a moment to breathe. They were almost done. All that was left was his pants, and Zoro could get him into the bathroom. Throw him in the shower and finally put some distance between them. He just had to grit his teeth a little longer.

That's why he tried to ignore how Sanji's bare skin felt against his own. He continued to undress him and opened his belt. Then he pulled down his pants and slid them down his hips to his knees. – “Okay, sit back down.” – Zoro leaned forward carefully. He made Sanji bend his knees and sat him back down on the bed so that Zoro could pull his pants down over his calves. He had deliberately left his shorts on. On the one hand, to spare Sanji from having to walk around the room completely naked, and on the other, to spare himself from seeing Sanji walking around the room completely naked. Seeing him like that was torture for Zoro in more ways than one. – “Now off to the bathroom.” – Who was Zoro talking to? It was a miracle that Sanji was still conscious, let alone had the strength to move on his own. And yet he insisted on washing himself. He staggered back to his feet as best he could, only to be caught by Zoro, who prevented him from falling forward.

Zoro sighed heavily. He had no choice but to slowly lead him toward the bathroom. Placing one arm around Sanji's waist from behind, he followed each of his shuffling steps. It would be so much easier to just throw him over his shoulder and carry him there. But Sanji resisted that too. Despite his clouded mind, he was still determined enough to walk on his own. That left Zoro with no other choice. Finally, they stood in front of the door. Zoro opened it and closed it behind them as soon as they were inside. He led Sanji to the bathtub and helped him get in. Now came the more unpleasant part. The only solace he had was that Sanji wasn't clear enough to notice any of it. That's why it didn't bother him in the slightest when Zoro now slipped the shorts off his hips. Over his legs, until he could step out with his feet. And now he stood completely naked in front of him. Fortunately, he still had his back to him, which made things much easier for Zoro. But Zoro didn't have time to panic any further. The next moment, Sanji weakened again and sank to his knees.

“I don't feel good, Sanji muttered. His first words in quite some time. They sounded a little stronger than before, but still not entirely clear. – “It's okay. I'll turn on the water. You wash up and I'll get you back to bed,” – Zoro rummaged through one of the cupboards. He took out towels and a washcloth along with a piece of soap wrapped in sterile packaging. – “I think” – Sanji tried to sit up. But without success. – “I can’t,” he groaned exhausted and fell back weakly into the bathtub.

What the hell was Zoro supposed to do with that? They had come this far. He couldn't just carry him out of the bathroom again, only for Sanji to throw another tantrum. Somehow, he had to get Sanji to take a quick shower so he would calm down. And obviously, it was now Zoro's job to wash him. Once again, he wondered what he had done to deserve this punishment. He wasn't going to get an answer. Resigned to his fate, he turned on the water. He put the stopper in the bathtub and made sure the water wasn't warmer than room temperature. As soon as the tub was filled with a few inches of water, Sanji curled his toes and let out a satisfied sigh. Zoro dipped the rag into the water and opened the soap wrapper to wash Sanji. However, it was not as easy as he had imagined. Sanji kept slipping out of his grip, writhing whenever Zoro tried to hold him upright. And all this while he had to make sure that Sanji didn't get his bandages wet.

“You have to stay still!” – But even these words didn’t register with Sanji. The tub was now half full, and Zoro turned off the water. Still feeling as if his body were made of jelly, Sanji let himself fall back and slid a little deeper into the water. – “Oi! Don't drown!” Zoro scolded, still holding Sanji's injured hand out of the water. It was exasperating. Until an idea came to him. An absolutely crazy idea. A very, very bad idea. But it wasn't as if he was doing it voluntarily. It had to be done. It was part of his debt to Sanji to support him. And if that was what it took to fulfill that obligation, then he had no choice. No matter how much karma would punish him for it.

And again, with a sigh, Zoro surrendered. Counting backwards from ten in his head to calm his nerves, he began to untie his red obi. He took off his coat, followed by his haramaki. – “Damn it,” he cursed quietly and carefully laid his swords aside. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. But he also took off his shoes and pants, including his shorts. – “This is all your fault,” he muttered and walked over to the bathtub. He grabbed Sanji's shoulders and helped him back up. – “Now slide over.” – Zoro awkwardly squeezed himself behind him. He spread his legs to position Sanji between them, and Sanji lay back down with a satisfied sigh. This time against Zoro's chest. He wished he could be as relaxed as Sanji. Just enjoy the touch for the moment and maybe even let himself be carried away by running his fingers through his blond hair. But that wasn't the case. Every muscle in Zoro's body was tense. His heart was pounding wildly and goosebumps spread across his arms. This was dangerous. It was so, so incredibly dangerous for his self-control.

“Zoro” – Sanji's muttered voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Even more so was the way Sanji leaned against his chest. Instinctively seeking protection, he tilted his head back so far that it came to rest on Zoro's shoulder. And Zoro felt ashamed. Sanji trusted him, and Zoro had nothing better to do than lust after a man who was clearly not in his right mind. How low had he sunk? Very low, he realized. But not low enough to forget why he was here in the first place. So Zoro stretched out, far enough to reach the washcloth and soap he had left on the edge of the bathtub. – “Put your arm over my shoulder,” Zoro whispered close to Sanji's ear. He helped him and grabbed his elbow. He guided it up over Zoro's shoulder until Sanji's bandaged hand rested on his neck. Zoro's hand slid down the inside of his upper arm and wrapped itself around Sanji's chest. And if it weren't for the satisfied noises escaping Sanji here and there, it wouldn't even be that difficult for Zoro. But it was. With every movement of the soapy rag over Sanji's skin, accompanied by a sigh. Even a gasp as he ran the cloth over his chest and brushed his nipple. Sanji's other hand was on Zoro's knee. It twitched whenever the rag passed over a sensitive spot.

It was dangerous. The way Sanji was sprawled out in his arms. He didn't seem to notice how he was chasing after touches that were so innocent in nature, turning them into something much more intimate. If that was even possible, considering the fact that they were sitting naked in the bathtub together. For heaven's sake. Sanji was lying naked on top of him. Zoro had no choice but to let his head fall back with a deep groan. He was clearly being punished here. And it got worse when Sanji's hand slid down from his knee, down his thigh. The only thing keeping Zoro sane was that Sanji didn't seem to notice. He had to get this over with quickly. So he continued. He cleaned Sanji's chest, his arms, and his armpits. He ran the rag over his neck and forehead as well. He tried his best to get the sweat out of his hair. Until nothing remained but his comrade's most intimate parts.

“I'm so sorry,” Zoro whispered through clenched teeth, not knowing if Sanji even heard him. In fact, Sanji had moments of clarity now and then. He helped him clean himself by moving his body. At the same time, it wasn't enough for Zoro to finally escape this situation. And so Zoro took a deep breath and continued running his hand down Sanji's body. He soaped his legs and moved closer and closer to his groin. Back down his stomach and along his groin. – “Zoro,” Sanji gasped again with a slight twitch of his hips. But Zoro didn't let that distract him. He knew that if he thought about it too much, he would lose himself in it. And Zoro really wanted it. He wanted to ignore it and block out where his hand was wandering. Until Sanji threw a spanner in the works. With his mind clouded, he placed his hand on Zoro's forearm. He stroked it and didn't even bother to suppress a moan. He even tilted his head to the side, buried his face in the crook of Zoro's neck, and let his nose brush against his jaw.

“Damn it,” Zoro felt himself getting hard. He would go to hell for this. He was definitely going to hell. But that didn't stop him from tightening his grip on Sanji. His other hand moved to Sanji's thigh to keep his legs apart. Without thinking much about it, he slid the rag further down between his legs. Every movement of Sanji's body aroused his erection even more. Pressed against Sanji's bare skin. His back and, with every more frantic movement, his backside too. And all this accompanied by little sighs, moans and gasps, all of which sounded like Zoro's name. Sanjis fingernails scratched his skin, stopping him from letting go with the slightest effort. It would have been easy for Zoro to shake off Sanjis grip. But he wanted to believe that he wasn't strong enough to do so. – “Touch me.” And he wasn't. Zoro was a weak man. He pressed his fingers deeper into the flesh of his thigh. So hard that he had to leave bruises on Sanji's skin. His other hand on Sanji's cock. He wrapped his fingers around the growing erection. And he exhaled sharply. Sanji turned his face away until Zoro's lips touched his temple. – “You'll regret this.” – It wasn't a threat. But a warning. The words were growled out. Gathering the last bit of self-control he had left.

Because Sanji wasn't in his right mind. It was delirium speaking through him. He would never have asked Zoro to do such a thing under normal circumstances. All of which made him even less reluctant to move his hips forward. To push weakly into Zoro's fist and moan. – “Please,” Sanji's voice was only a faint whisper, and at the same time he managed to fix his gaze on Zoro. And returning that gaze was enough for Zoro to make a final decision. He grabbed Sanji by the jaw again, forced him to keep his eyes up, and leaned forward. – “You don't know what you're doing.” – His forehead touched Sanji's and he could feel his hot breath. – “You don't know what you're doing,” he repeated. Not just for Sanji. And then he let go of him again. Instead, he grabbed his legs and lifted himself out of the bathtub. He stepped out and set Sanji down again without letting go of him completely. And even if he had, Sanji wouldn't have fallen. Not the way he was clinging to Zoro. His arm around his waist, his other hand clawed into his upper arm.

Zoro grabbed one of the towels and quickly wrapped it around Sanji. He could already see the shivering that was taking over his body and quickly set about drying him off. He took another towel to dry his hair and then looked around the room in desperation. None of them had a change of clothes here. But Zoro couldn't put Sanji back in bed naked. So Zoro took the only thing within reach and, without thinking, put it around Sanji's shoulders. He let the towel fall to the floor and slipped each of his arms through the green coat. Then he took his red obi and wrapped it tightly around Sanji's waist. He made sure that the coat also covered his chest. Quite the opposite of how Zoro wore it himself. All that was left was to get himself dressed. Zoro awkwardly slipped back into his shorts and grabbed Sanji again to carry him back to bed. His swords were firmly in his left hand, whose arm rested under Sanji's legs.

Sanji didn't protest once. Falling back into a sleep-like state, he breathed more shallowly and calmly. When they reached the beds, Zoro decided to lay Sanji down on one of the other beds. One that wasn't soaked with sweat and damp. He hurried to gather up the blankets and lay them over Sanji. He carefully tucked the sides under his body and made sure his injured hand was positioned as comfortably as possible. Sanji blinked tiredly. – “I'll be right back,” Zoro whispered gently, brushing a strand of hair from Sanji's face and turning to leave. He had to call Chopper, tell him about Sanji's condition and, more importantly, ask him to bring him some clothes. Before Zoro could put any more distance between them, Sanji stopped him. He placed a weak hand on Zoro's wrist and looked at him with eyes that were still glassy. – “Don't go.” – What was Zoro supposed to do with Sanji? If he continued to look at him with those eyes, he would be lost forever. He could never refuse Sanji anything when he spoke to him in such a fragile voice. With a pleading expression on his face

And Zoro stayed. He sat down next to Sanji on the bed and put his hand on his cheek. – “I'm cold,” Sanji murmured. He leaned into the touch as if to absorb the body heat he was lacking. Which he didn't. Sanji's skin burned, began to sweat again, making Zoro's own skin feel almost cold. Zoro was known for never feeling cold. His natural body heat was so high that Sanji once joked that he could fry an egg on him. And maybe it would come in handy someday. Without another thought, he took his hand off Sanji's face. He lifted the blanket and lay down next to him. Only for Sanji to slide closer to him a moment later. He pressed himself against Zoro's chest, buried his head in the crook of his neck, and enjoyed the heat radiating from his body. Zoro put his arms around him, one under his head and the other along his rib cage until his large hand rested on Sanji's back. He pulled him closer, their legs intertwined, and Sanji finally calmed down.

“You're damn hot,” Zoro huffed, already unable to stand the heat. Only for Sanji to respond with a drunken giggle. – “Did you just call me hot?” he quipped, his face buried deep enough that his words sounded muffled, each letter touching Zoro's skin. – “You stupid cook,” – Zoro’s words carried no hint of anger, only resignation. Surrendering to his fate, he buried his nose in the blond hair, breathing in Sanji’s scent and allowing himself to drift off into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

When Zoro opened his eyes again, he had no idea how much time had passed. What he did know, however, was that it was incredibly uncomfortable under the blanket. Everything was sticky. It was wet and gave him goose bumps as soon as even the slightest breeze touched the warm sweat on his skin. The only good thing was that Sanji himself didn't feel quite as warm anymore. He was breathing a little more easily and was still asleep. Zoro breathed out in relief. He tightened his grip on Sanji and enjoyed the peace and quiet for a moment. Holding him in his arms as If it were the most natural thing in the world.

Zoro's gaze wandered around the room. It was already dusk, but Zoro still didn't know whether the sun was rising or setting. He looked past the beds until his gaze fell on the bedside table. On it stood a tray with a covered plate, a glass, and a carafe of water. There was also a note. The handwriting looked suspiciously like Robin's. How had he not noticed someone entering the room? Normally, Zoro woke up at the slightest sound. Always aware of his surroundings, he sensed a strange presence even when he was asleep. But the last few days and the lack of breaks on deck had probably worn him out more than he realized. Even his sleep had been so deep and peaceful, which was unusual for him.

Just as Zoro began to think about it more intensely, Sanji stirred in his arms. First, a soft murmur. Then he frowned. His face, which he had pressed against Zoro's chest, slowly lifted until his eyes opened. He seemed a little disoriented. Although he was awake, he did not move. He just blinked a few times and slowly raised his head. Their eyes met. Neither of them said anything until Sanji slowly seemed to realize what position they were in. And although he didn't move away from Zoro, the shock was written all over his face. Zoro was already expecting to be thrown out of bed with a violent kick. But nothing happened.

“Hey,” Sanji whispered into the silence, still close to Zoro. – “Hey,” he replied. With a twitch in his fingers, he stopped himself from pulling Sanji back toward him. And slowly, the situation became uncomfortable. There was no reason to lie so close to each other any longer. Zoro should let go of Sanji, get out of bed, and explain that it wasn't what it looked like. – “How do you feel?” – But instead, he remained still. He continued to look down at Sanji, who averted his gaze. He didn't move either. – “Exhausted. But better,” Sanji muttered. – “What happened?” – Sanji tried to remember how they had gotten into this situation. But everything was shrouded in a thick fog. He remembered that they had been fighting. Until he collapsed in the galley. – “What do you remember?” – Zoro shifted uncomfortably under the blanket. Not sure how to deal with this. If Sanji really had no memory of what had happened in the bathroom, he should actually feel relieved. Zoro should be glad that Sanji didn’t remember what he had said to him. What he had practically begged him to do. It was better this way. If only to spare Sanji the embarrassment. And to avoid exposing himself for what it had done to Zoro.

“I must have lost consciousness in the galley. Everything else after that is-” – Sanji searched for the right word. – “Fuzzy” – Zoro should have been happy about that. At the same time, there was something like disappointment deep inside him. – “Didn't miss anything,” Zoro tried to dismiss it quickly. He peeled himself out of the blanket and stood up. Finally getting some distance from Sanji. – “You had a high fever. Chopper said you got an infection from the wound.” – Zoro stretched. Slowly releasing the tension from his muscles, while Sanji sat up carefully. – “But that doesn't explain why you're lying naked next to me in bed.” – Sanji could hardly believe he dared to ask that question. Even if his cheeks were slightly red. But all he got from Zoro was his index finger pointing at Sanji, and he looked down at himself. He immediately recognized the green fabric that he normally only saw from afar. Sanji hurriedly grabbed it and covered his bare chest, where the fabric must have slipped during his sleep.

“Don't get a heart attack,” Zoro reassured him, moving further away from him. – “You didn't have a change of clothes here and the others were completely soaked.” – And now that Zoro mentioned it, Sanji noticed that these clothes were also ruined. They stuck uncomfortably to his body. Sanji was disgusted with himself. – “I think I need a shower.” – The words earned Sanji an indecipherable look from Zoro, who was already holding the receiver of the transponder snail in his hand. – “Can you get up?” he asked, turning away from him again. – “I think I can manage a shower,” Sanji grumbled and stood up. He was a little shaky on his legs, but steady enough to make his way to the bathroom, ignoring Zoro, who was following his every move.

Only once he was safely in the bathroom did Sanji breathe properly again. He allowed himself to blush bright red for the first time. Covering his face with his trembling hands. Damn it, he really had woken up next to Zoro. Zoro, who was naked. Zoro, who had held him in his arms. As if it wasn't completely crazy. Sanji's heart was doing backflips. His pulse was racing and he almost thought he was going to lose consciousness again. And if not that, he would certainly start hyperventilating. So he tried to calm himself down. Breathe in and out slowly. Sanji tried to focus on something else. He let his gaze wander around the bathroom and immediately spotted his clothes, which were scattered all over the floor. Along with a bar of soap and a washcloth that had already dried on the edge of the bathtub. What the hell had happened here? Sanji almost tripped over a towel that had been left just as carelessly on the floor. It wasn't usually this messy here. Which could only mean that they had made this mess. Which led Sanji to the next realization. He had already taken a shower here. And when Sanji finally took off the green coat and noticed that he wasn't wearing anything underneath, it was clear. Zoro had seen him naked. Every single inch of him.

Sanji barely managed to suppress a cry of shame. This couldn't be true. It simply couldn't be true. There had to be a simple explanation. It couldn't be what it looked like. And Sanji really wanted to believe it. But all the evidence pointed to the contrary. It reconstructed a scenario so utterly absurd that doubts began to creep into his mind anyway. He had no choice but to either remember what had happened or ask Zoro about it. Although he really wanted to avoid the latter. He was far too ashamed of what the answer might be.

But whatever it was, Sanji started moving again. Already undressed, he stepped into the bathtub, turned on the water, and tried to stand under the stream. But still a little weak in the legs, Sanji decided instead to pick up the shower head and sit down in the bathtub. He knelt down and began to rub himself with soap and the washcloth. His skin was still slightly warm, which made the cool water even more relaxing. And luckily, he wasn't cold anymore. That was a good sign for his fever. Even more satisfied with himself, Sanji ran the washcloth over his chest and down his legs. He sighed contentedly and was just about to rinse himself off with the shower head when he stopped in mid-motion. With an expressionless look, he looked down at his legs, not quite sure what he was looking at. But when he finally recognized it, he still couldn't believe it. There were fingerprints in the form of bruises on his inner thighs. Hesitantly and with a lump in his throat, Sanji placed his own hand in their place. He put his fingertips over them, but they didn't fit. It wasn't his prints that had been left on his skin. It wasn't his own fingers that had touched him there.

Sanji thought he saw a fragment of a memory flash before his inner eyes. Accompanied by goose bumps and the faint echo of his body's reaction to that touch. It made him tremble, and suddenly the water felt much too cold. Sanji turned it off, ready to get out of the bathtub as quickly as possible and ignore the mark on his body, when there was a tentative knock at the door. Sanji quickly grabbed the towel to hide his body behind it. – “Yes?” he called out much too loudly. As if he had been caught. Even though he didn’t know for what. It wasn’t as if he had done anything indecent or forbidden here. But the possibility that someone could see him naked frightened him. Even more so that someone else could recognize the imprint.

But it didn't come to that. All that happened was that the door opened a crack, a hand reached through and placed some clean clothes on the cabinet next to the door. And just as quickly as it had appeared, the hand withdrew and the door closed. Of course, Sanji didn't need to think twice about who that hand belonged to. Zoro had obviously taken care of new clothes during his absence and, dutiful as ever, had laid them out for him. Sanji gratefully acknowledged this. Only to pause again a moment later. He approached the clothes, the towel still in his hand. This simply couldn't be true. There was no way Zoro had brought him these clothes. Sanji couldn't believe it. Only when he dropped the towel and his hand touched the green fabric could Sanji no longer deny it. Zoro had brought him his own clothes. A neatly folded green coat, including a red obi. Even his toothbrush was there. Zoro had really thought of everything. But why Sanji couldn't wear his own clothes was still a mystery to him.

There was a plausible explanation for it. Sanji was sure of it. He hoped so, anyway. And so he reached for the coat. He put it around his shoulders and pulled his arms through the sleeves. He had noticed it before, but the coat was several sizes too big for him. Even though it was the right length, Sanji had to wrap it tightly around his chest to keep it from slipping off his shoulders. The sleeves were so wide that they reminded him of the kimono he had worn in Wano. He held everything together with his left hand. Unable to tie the obi without his right hand, he had to admit defeat once again. He took care of the rest of his personal hygiene for the time being and then threw the red piece of fabric over his right arm while holding the coat in place with his left hand.

He fumbled with the door and stepped outside. Only to pause again immediately. Sanji stood there, watching Zoro. He watched as Zoro stood in front of the nightstand, a piece of paper in his hand, looking very focused. Wearing nothing but a pair of pants, he was so engrossed that he didn't immediately turn around when Sanji entered the room. This gave Sanji time to soak up the sight in front of him. – “What are you reading?” Sanji broke the silence. Zoro still didn't turn around, so he must have noticed him. His forehead creased deeper. – “A message from Robin,” Zoro began. He brought the piece of paper imperceptibly closer to his face. As if that would help him understand the message better. – “You don’t need to worry. No one is starving and-” – Zoro narrowed his eyes. – “Something about soup.” – Finally, Zoro turned to Sanji and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. – “Her handwriting is hard to read.” – Sanji wasn't surprised. Robin's handwriting was very calligraphic. As expected from an archaeologist of such class.

“Let me see that” – Sanji took the note from Zoro as he came closer. In exchange for the red obi, which Zoro now began to tie around Sanji's waist. With his arms stretched far enough up to give Zoro enough space, Sanji was glad for the distraction. It prevented him from reading too much into the closeness they shared. Or worse, blushing again. – “To our dear cook, don’t worry, we’re well taken care of. Usopp has cooked you some soup so you can recover soon. And don’t be sh-” – Sanji faltered. He read the last sentence twice more and then began to laugh quietly. – “What's so funny?” asked Zoro, who took a step away from him as he finished tying his obi. – “Oh, nothing,” Sanji dismissed it and folded the note with one hand. Zoro left it at that, didn't question it further, and instead went to one of the beds to pull back the blanket. And Sanji was glad he did. He had chuckled at the last sentence, but it still made him feel slightly uncomfortable. He knew that Robin must have seen it when she put the tray down next to his bed. Zoro didn't notice Sanji's inner turmoil. He went over to pull the covers off the beds that had already been used and pile them in the corner. Once again, he was grateful that Chopper insisted on having a bed ready for each of the crew members in the infirmary.

Sanji lay back down on the bed and pulled the blanket back over his body. His gaze wandered around the room until it settled on a familiar piece of fabric. Another one of Zoro's coats was hanging carelessly over one of the chairs. – “How many of these coats do you actually have?” Sanji wondered aloud, with a hint of teasing in his voice. – “No idea,” Zoro replied. – “Probably as many as Luffy does of his red vests,” he continued, taking the tray Robin had brought and placing it closer to Sanji. – “Or as many as you have black suit pants” – That was a fair point. Besides, Zoro had never been someone who cared much about fashion. As always, being the minimalist that he was, Sanji could imagine what Zoro’s wardrobe looked like.

Zoro handed him the glass filled with water. For the first time, Sanji realized how thirsty he was. After all those hours of sleeping with a fever, he was now completely dehydrated. He emptied the glass in one gulp, only for Zoro to refill it immediately. – “What's in the soup?” asked Sanji, sipping his water again. This time much more slowly. – “Noodles and chicken, I think,” replied Zoro, lifting the lid to take a look at the plate. – “But it's already cold.” – ”And still edible. So hand it over.” – Sanji put the glass aside and waited for Zoro to place the tray on his lap. – “Besides, Usopp probably put a lot of effort into it. It would be a shame to waste it.” – Sanji picked up the spoon and began to eat the soup little by little. Needless to say, he almost had to fight Zoro for the spoon.

“How is it?” Zoro asked after a moment of silence. – “Surprisingly good. The base needs a little more spice. And a few other seasonings. But for someone who doesn't normally cook, Usopp did well.” – “Good to know he didn't poison you.” – Zoro got up from his seat and walked back to the table in the corner. – “I'll let Chopper know that you're up and have eaten.” – Even though Zoro had already informed him that Sanji was conscious again and less feverish, Chopper had insisted on waiting a moment. Sanji should come to his senses properly, eat, and be strong enough to be examined again. By now, it was clear that the next day had long since dawned. The sun was still low in the sky, but it provided enough light to herald the new day.

However, before Zoro could call Chopper on the transponder snail, there was a knock at the door. Without a word, it swung open with too much force and their captain stumbled elegantly into the room. – “Sanji!” he exclaimed happily and was about to rush toward Sanji when Zoro stopped him. With Luffy in a firm headlock, which he knew Luffy could easily escape from, he admonished him. – “Behave yourself or I'll tell Chopper how you're acting in his infirmary.” – That was enough to dampen Luffy's exuberance. With a pout on his lips but calmer, Zoro let go of him. Sanji could only watch the scene with amusement. Of course, none of them liked being lectured by Chopper. This included Luffy, who now settled down on the bed next to Sanji's. – “It's good to see you're feeling better,” he laughed and let himself fall backwards onto the bed with his arms outstretched. – “You really scared us for a second.” – “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” – “Don’t worry about it. Chopper did a good job fixin’ you up.” – Luffy rolled across the bed in acrobatic movements until he was lying on his stomach, looking at Sanji. – “And so did Zoro, apparently.” – Luffy’s laughter grew louder and he rested his face on his hands. Sanji didn’t answer. With a slight blush on his face, he handed the tray to Zoro instead. After finishing the soup and even emptying the water glass, Zoro placed the tray on the bedside table next to Sanji.

“I hope you ate well,” said Sanji, changing the subject. – “Of course,” replied Luffy. – “It wasn’t as tasty as what you cook, but Usopp did his best.” – “I hope that long-nose didn’t destroy my kitchen,” Sanji joked. Which only made Luffy laugh out loud again. – “Maybe a little.” – Whatever that meant, Sanji preferred not to think about it. It would probably just raise his blood pressure and make him jump out of bed in a panic. So he just hoped that Usopp would fix it before Sanji was fit enough to actually get upset about it. – “But Usopp said that’s how it has to be.” – “Excuse me?” – Luffy rolled back onto his back, let his head dangle off the edge of the bed, and stretched his legs in the air. – “That’s how it has to be. Usopp learned that from a chef. The story was great!” – Sanji smelled another one of Usopp’s tall tales. But he didn't interrupt Luffy, who was now wiggling his feet in the air. – “Usopp said he was an apprentice to the best chef in the world. And because he was so impressed by Usopp's cooking skills, he wanted to train him. Until he could cook better than him. But Usopp refused because his crew of a thousand subordinates would have been lost without him. Can you imagine that? Usopp said he had four stars but was only known among the best of the best.“ – Now Luffy also stretched his arms in the air, still grinning broadly. – “Then you better not let him know that there are only a maximum of three stars,” Sanji now giggled, still not quite sure whether Luffy believed this crazy story or not. – “That's what Nami said too. But Usopp said he was so good that they gave him a secret fourth star.” – “I'm sure they did,” Sanji agreed, still giggling. – “That really was a funny story.”

The two were still laughing about it while Zoro had refrained from joining in the conversation. He stood leaning against the chair in the corner, listening silently. It would do Sanji good to have such a carefree conversation. Especially with Luffy, who knew how to cheer people up. Whether he meant to or not. – “What are you actually doing here?” Sanji asked when the laughter slowly died down. – “I just wanted to check on you. It’s my duty as captain, after all.” – Luffy jumped off the bed, stood next to Sanji, and put his arms on his hips. As if he had once again announced that he would become the future king of the pirates, he beamed at him. – “That's very thoughtful of you, Captain,” Sanji replied with a slight nod. He adjusted the collar of his coat with his left hand, drawing Luffy's gaze to it. Which was the beginning of an embarrassing disaster. – “Isn't that Zoro's?” Luffy asked, tilting his head. And what was Sanji supposed to say to that? The obvious? Luckily for him, he didn't even have to get into trouble trying to find an answer. – “Ohh! I want one too! I want one too! We could all dress alike! That would be really cool for a pirate crew! Then everyone would know we belong together!” – The words rained down on Sanji, who tried to follow the conversation. – “Wouldn't we all have to wear straw hats then?” – Even though Sanji's objection was valid, since they were the Straw Hat Pirates after all, Luffy seemed almost offended. – “No way! That's mine and it's special! What if we end up swapping them?”

“Now calm down,” Zoro said for the first time after quite a while. He had watched the spectacle, observing how Sanji struggled for an answer and Luffy lost himself in one of his strange ideas. – “He only wears it because it’s more comfortable than one of his stupid shirts” – Which wasn’t a lie. But the main reason he didn't want any of his comrades rummaging through Sanji's clothes was because he knew how much Sanji hated it when people snooped around in his things. The fact that seeing Sanji in his clothes triggered something possessive in him was probably another factor. One that no one else needed to know about. – “Then I definitely want to! It looks really comfortable!” – “No way.” – “Oh, please! Please, please, please, Zoro!” – Luffy hopped up and down excitedly, his eyes as big as saucers and his lower lip pouting. – “No!” – “Oh, come on!” – “The cook is sick, so don’t make such a fuss.” – Zoro growled dangerously. But he was used to nothing else from Luffy. Especially with his stubbornness, he wouldn’t give in so quickly. – “That means if I'm sick, I can?” – Luffy stopped jumping up and down and Zoro snorted contemptuously. – “Maybe if you're dying.” – Zoro crossed his arms in front of his chest. And maybe he shouldn't have said that. Because in that moment, Luffy made a dramatic show of throwing his arm to his forehead.

“Oh no! Zoro, I don't feel well!” he cried dramatically as his legs wobbled in waves, in a way that would have been impossible for a normal human being. – “I think I'm dying!” cried Luffy and let himself fall back onto the bed. – “Zoro!” he croaked dramatically, reaching out a hand toward him. Only to collapse in the next moment. He stuck his tongue out, which also fell limply to the side, his eyes closed. This elicited another giggle from Sanji and a repeated growl from Zoro. – “Dumbass,” he muttered, grabbing the back of the chair. He pulled his coat off and threw it in Luffy’s direction. – “Will you shut up now?,” Zoro asked afterwards. Luffy ignored him completely. He jumped up again and held the coat excitedly in his hands. He turned it wildly back and forth and finally slipped it on. Sanji laughed even louder when he saw Luffy in Zoro’s coat. It was way too big, everywhere. But Luffy seemed happy about it. His hands, which had disappeared under the sleeves, fought their way out and grabbed the collar. – “And what about the red-” – The look Zoro gave him was enough to silence Luffy. A look that warned him not to push his luck any further. So Luffy left it at that.

“This is really super comfy, ” said Luffy, more to himself than anyone else, wrapping the coat around his body. He even imitated some of Zoro’s fighting poses, which made Sanji laugh and cheer him on. He even corrected him and graded his efforts. And as much as Zoro grumbled about it, he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt their fun. He let them laugh and giggle, even if it was at Zoro's expense. – “I have to go now. Nami promised to make me a sorbet out of some of her oranges.” – Before either of them could say anything, Luffy headed for the door. Without thinking to take off Zoro's coat, he opened the door and was almost out when he paused again. – “I almost forgot! Nami said we should reach the next island by evening. And she asked me to ask you if you've finished the grocery list. Since you're not feeling so well, she said she'd send Franky.” – Sanji blinked for a moment. – “Um, no. It must have gotten lost in all the chaos,” he lied, trying to ignore the look Zoro was giving him. – “I'll let her know.” – Luffy didn't even seem to question his answer and was already gone, leaving Sanji and Zoro alone, between whom an uncomfortable silence now spread.

“You lied. Why?” asked Zoro, still not leaving his spot. – “Isn’t it obvious?” replied Sanji, avoiding his gaze. – “I didn’t want to put you in an awkward situation.” – That was much more honest than Sanji actually wanted to be. It revealed more about him than he intended and also let Zoro understand his motives. Sanji had lied to keep his secret. To spare him embarrassment. He had covered for him, even though nothing was more important to Sanji than his groceries and the fact that everyone was well fed. Who knew when Sanji would have enough strength to get out of bed. And if there was no official grocery list, there was no one else who could do the errands. Zoro, maybe. But Sanji would never let him go alone. Apart from the fact that he would get hopelessly lost, Sanji was also sure that Zoro didn't know what to look for. He would end up getting ripped off and forgetting half of it. Even though he had helped Sanji with the groceries all this time, he couldn't rely on Zoro to manage on his own. After all, he was mainly there to carry the groceries. Overall, he knew that Zoro got bored running from stall to stall and watching Sanji pick out the best tomatoes for half an hour. Haggling for a reasonable price for potatoes or waiting until Sanji was done flirting with the attractive farmer's wife.

“Which reminds me,” said Sanji, breaking the awkward silence between them. – “I had a dream.” – Zoro raised an eyebrow skeptically. – “About women?” – “Of course not! I'm a gentleman, and what you're thinking is filthy!,” Sanji protested. – “About a recipe.” Sanji cleared his throat. – “So get a pen and paper. Before I forget.” – “I should call Chopper first. He wanted to examine you as soon as you were up.” – “Chopper can wait a moment. I'm feeling better, my fever has gone down and I feel fine. Come on, hurry up.” – Zoro actually wanted to object. He should have. But the way Sanji looked at him, so calm and almost friendly, made him change his mind. Zoro searched the desk drawer for writing utensils and found them there. Next to some wooden sticks, cotton swabs, and another stethoscope. He took the pen and pad and walked over to Sanji. He briefly wondered where he should sit before Sanji slid to the edge of the bed and tapped the blanket next to him with his left hand. Zoro understood the invitation but hesitated. Not sure how much closeness he could handle after the previous evening, he weighed his options. But in the end, he sat down. He carefully settled down next to Sanji on the bed, on top of the blanket. He leaned against the headboard like Sanji and placed the pad in his lap.

Almost unnoticeably, Sanji moved closer to get a better look at the paper. Or so he told himself. At the same time, being close to Zoro calmed him down. It relaxed him in a way that only cooking could. And it made him curious to see how much more Zoro had to offer. Especially after an evening he couldn't remember. Even though the look Zoro gave him said enough to know that something had happened. So he moved a little closer. Testing how far he could go. What might make Zoro uncomfortable. But nothing seemed to get through. Instead, he followed every one of Sanji's instructions. Slowly writing down what he dictated. And so they sat there. In the silence of the infirmary, all that could be heard was Sanji's calm voice dictating a recipe he already knew by heart. It was familiar to him and so firmly fixed in his memory that it was easy for him to recite it for Zoro.

And Zoro suspected it. The way he listed the ingredients without thinking about it. In quantities so precise that he couldn't have known them from his dream alone. But Zoro said nothing. He continued writing and enjoyed Sanji talking to him. On and on, until his voice suddenly became quieter. Less focused. Zoro glanced to the side and watched as Sanji's eyes fluttered shut from time to time. He seemed tired but unwilling to stop. So Zoro did the only thing he could think of. He didn't let go of the pen as he raised his hand and gently placed his fingers on Sanji's jaw. He guided his head to the side until it finally came to rest on Zoro's shoulder. Sanji let him do it. He stumbled over one of his words before closing his eyes. He tried to fight the exhaustion, but failed. Until he gave up and let himself be overcome by it. Surrounded by peace and the safety of his shadow.

Chapter Text

“Trust me, Chopper, I'm fine” – Sanji had lost count of how many times he had tried to make that clear to him. With the blood pressure cuff back on his arm and a thermometer in his mouth, he sat in bed as he had for the past two days, being pampered by his comrades. It was lovely to receive so much care, but even for him it was slowly becoming too much. He knew that his fever had dropped dramatically. His circulation wasn't 100% stable, but it was nothing that a walk wouldn't fix. Chopper, however, didn't seem to want to hear any of it. Relying solely on what his medical equipment and knowledge told him, he immediately prescribed Sanji more bed rest. – “At least let me out of bed. I'm going crazy in here.” – “You're taking this way too lightly,” Chopper warned, glancing at the thermometer. – “Recovering from an infection like this and such a high fever can take days. You're lucky your wound hasn't gotten worse!” – And how lucky he should be. After Sanji woke up from his fever-induced delirium the day before and Chopper examined him, everyone could finally breathe a sigh of relief. Even though only Chopper himself was aware of the true extent of the infection, he deliberately kept it to himself. He didn't want to scare Sanji unnecessarily. Chopper was just relieved that the worst was over.

“I know that. But trust me when I tell you that I'm fine.” – Chopper wished he could argue more. But the fact was, Sanji's fever had subsided, his pulse and blood pressure were stable, and the infection in his wound was clearing up. There was no reason not to let him go. But the last time he had believed that everything was fine and let himself be lulled by Sanji's words, he had instead been caught up in a fight that almost killed him. That made Chopper want to play it safe. But Sanji was a grown man. If he wanted to go against his doctor's advice, he couldn't stop him. That meant all he could do was try to limit the damage.

“I do. But please understand that I'm worried about you.” – Chopper sighed deeply. – “That's why I want to make you a suggestion.” – Sanji was all ears. He would take anything he could get if it meant he could escape this prison. – “You can leave the infirmary. But no trips to the island. You can only move around on deck, and we'll see what happens tomorrow. All right?" – Sanji hesitated for a moment. It was probably the best he could get out of Chopper. It would be stupid to turn down this offer. But after they had finally anchored at a new island the night before, he had been itching to go on an excursion. To finally stretch his legs, go shopping, and maybe meet a pretty lady or two. But according to Nami, they would be staying on this island for a few more days until the log port had recalibrated. And so Sanji sighed in defeat. – “Sounds fair,” he confirmed, nodding to Chopper.

“And you make sure he doesn't overdo it,” Chopper said, turning to Zoro, who had been watching the whole thing without comment. Reliable as ever, he nodded. He watched Chopper pack up his things and start to leave the room. – “You can go now. But if you feel worse, don't be stubborn and come to me.” – With these words, Chopper disappeared, leaving the two alone again. – “Finally!” Sanji sighed and threw back the covers to get up. He straightened his green coat and slipped into the slippers Zoro had brought him the day before. – “First, I need to see how bad the damage is in the kitchen.” – Sanji was already leaving the room when he paused briefly. – “Or maybe I should go to the cabin first,” he thought aloud, looking down at himself. As much as he hated to admit it, the coat was comfortable. But it wasn’t appropriate for walking around on deck. And he would certainly feel more like himself once he had his own clothes on again.

Zoro didn't answer. He just followed him silently as usual on the way to the dormitories. There, he took some of Sanji's clothes out of the drawer and immediately sent him into the bathroom to get changed. Helping him with the last few touches, as always, they left the cabin shortly afterwards. Preparing himself for what he would find in his beloved kitchen, he continued toward the door, only to pause immediately. – “Where's my door?” Sanji asked in horror. He came closer and stopped in the doorway. – “Franky's building a new one,” was all Zoro had to say. He entered the kitchen himself and looked around, searching for things that might upset Sanji, depending on what Usopp had broken. – “You're lucky the frame is back up. After all, you didn't hold back when you ripped it off its hinges." – Now that Sanji thought about it, Zoro was probably right. The fight was already a blur in his memory. But he thought he remembered that it was he who had caused this mess. So he had no choice but to remain silent. Because who was without sin, or something like that.

Sanji’s gaze wandered around the galley. He scanned every inch and was surprisingly satisfied. He had expected worse after two days without his supervision. But apart from the kitchenette, which wasn't as clean as he would have liked, and an obviously ruined pan soaking in the sink, everything seemed to be in order. – “Usopp dodged a bullet there,” Sanji said, putting a cigarette between his lips. Zoro remained silent, keeping to himself that it was mainly thanks to him that the cook hadn’t had a nervous breakdown. Zoro had warned him earlier and advised him to clean the kitchen thoroughly if he valued his life. But that was none of Sanji's business. – “Do you think Chopper would let me cook dinner today?” – “Could be. Apart from him, Franky, and the two of us, there's no one else on the ship right now, anyway.” – “What? Where is everyone?” – Sanji tilted his head. He was finally back on his feet, and now there was hardly anyone left for him to cook for? – “On the island. They left a few hours ago.”

Sanji slumped down into one of the chairs. He was disappointed that he couldn't cook for Nami or Robin or even see the rest of his friends. But he couldn't blame them. After all, he was just as eager to explore the island. To find out what there was to discover. Maybe even experience a new adventure. That's why there was no point in sulking. Maybe he should just focus on getting better instead. Cook a small meal for the four of them and put his feet up. And with any luck, he'd be able to go to the island soon. Do the shopping that needed to be done and stretch his legs a bit. After all, it was always good to feel solid ground beneath your feet. And Sanji was sure he wasn't alone in that opinion. Each of them was looking forward to exploring new islands and getting a taste of foreign air. Especially when you'd been sitting on top of each other for so long in such a confined space, or as confined as a ship of this size could be, with no chance of escape. That's why each of them had formed their own little bubble. Their own little retreat. Whether it was Chopper's laboratory or Franky's workshop. Luffy always retreated to the top of the Sunny, just like Nami to her oranges. Just like Sanji to his kitchen and Zoro to the crow's nest.

At this thought, Sanji looked up. He looked in Zoro's direction, who did not return his gaze. Now that he thought about it more carefully, it wasn't just Sanji's privacy that was being violated by the situation they were in. Not that it was the first time he had noticed it. After all, he was aware that Zoro had put some of his duties on the back burner for him. But even the things he did to find inner peace were completely on hold. Not once had he meditated. Not once had he trained. Not a single moment to himself, apart from the few occasions when Sanji disappeared into the bathroom. That's why he took a closer look at Zoro. Nothing seemed different about him. His swords were back where they belonged, his gaze stoic and his posture firm. If it weren't for that underlying restlessness within him. Sanji himself would have almost missed it if he hadn't been watching him so closely. The shifting of his weight from one leg to the other, or the slightly too firm grip on his sword. Zoro didn't seem as balanced as usual. Perhaps it was due to the events of the last few hours, or maybe even days. Sanji wasn't sure. But what he was sure of was that Zoro had to stop being so selfless. Sanji was just as sure that he wouldn't do it. That's why he had no other choice.

“Man, it's boring not being able to go ashore,” Sanji groaned annoyed, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray. – “And there's still time until dinner,” he continued, getting up from his chair. For a moment, Sanji pretended to be thinking about something. Aware of Zoro's gaze, he turned to leave. – “Let's go to the crow's nest. Some of Robin's books are still up there, and the view of the island is surely wonderful.” – Sanji was already out the door when Zoro's voice suddenly stopped him. – “And how are you going to get up there?” – Sanji faltered. He hadn't thought that far ahead. The crow's nest could only be reached over the shrouds. With his injured hand, that was definitely a problem. And the alternative made him swallow hard. – “Well, it's obvious,” Sanji replied. He now had to grit his teeth and swallow his pride, and even more so his shame. Knowing that Zoro would never go up there without him, he probably had no other choice. For once, he wanted Zoro to do something for himself. Even if Sanji had to use a few tricks to get him there.

And Zoro seemed to understand what Sanji was getting at. He approached him until they were standing together at the mast that led up to the crow's nest. And for the first time, Sanji noticed that Zoro seemed nervous. He scratched the back of his neck and seemed to be searching for the right words. – “So,” he began, a nervous grin on his lips. – “How embarrassing do you want this to be?” – Sanji learned new things about Zoro every day. For example, that he tended to make bad jokes when he didn’t know what else to say. But that was only because his favorite way of deflecting attention wasn’t an option due to his injury. – “No way are you throwing me over your shoulder like a sack of rice.” – Zoro nodded. – “Then-” – He couldn’t believe he was saying this. – “On my back?” – Sanji tried to suppress a snort. But he nodded. Which made Zoro nod too.

Both visibly embarrassed, avoided each other's gaze. Until Zoro turned away from him and knelt down. He presented his back to Sanji and waited for him to come closer. Sanji took one last deep breath and placed his left hand on Zoro's shoulder. He climbed onto his back and had to wait a moment longer for Zoro's arms to hook under his legs. They held him there and he rose from his kneeling position. With his face close to Zoro's, he tried not to breathe directly into his ear. It was more difficult than he had thought, considering how close they were to each other. – “Put your arms around my neck,” Zoro said quietly. He let go of one of his legs and instead guided Sanji’s left arm from his shoulder over his neck, holding it by the wrist. He allowed Sanji’s arm to wrap around him, able to strangle him at any time if he wanted to. – “Hold on tight. I'm letting go of your legs.” – That was all it took, and Sanji's feet hooked themselves over Zoro's stomach. Now with more support, even without Zoro's arms, he increased the pressure of his legs around his waist and let himself be carried away.

And if Sanji had thought this was embarrassing before, he had underestimated how much worse it could get. Not only did the closeness, the inevitable physical contact, affect him. Now he could feel every one of Zoro's muscles moving under the strain of climbing. It made the heat rise in him again, as if he had a fever. His body tensed, pressing itself harder against the mountain of muscles that carried him up the shroud. And even though his grip was painful, Zoro said nothing. He continued climbing upward and enjoyed how Sanji buried his face in the crook of his neck in shame. He took in the unmistakable smell of sweat and steel as his breath hit Zoro's skin, causing goosebumps to spread across it. Sanji's left hand clawed into his right shoulder. He held on tightly to the green fabric until Zoro began to laugh softly. – “Don't choke me to death before we get to the top.” – The vibration of his voice echoed through his entire body. Through the muscles of his back and into Sanji's own chest. Which made Sanji pinch Zoro's shoulder. But Zoro just dismissed it with another deep laugh.

Only when they reached the top, Zoro opened the hatch and finally stood with both feet on the ground did Sanji look up again. He held on to Zoro for a second too long before letting go and touching the ground with his own feet. Without saying another word, he moved away from him and walked over to the shelf where some books were standing. Sanji picked out the one that sounded most interesting to him and then sat down on the bench. It was difficult to find a suitable book. After all, most of them belonged to Robin and were rather dry to read. But there were also a few about myths of the Grand Line that didn't seem quite so boring. Sanji made himself comfortable and opened the first page. He tried to ignore Zoro, who had now sat down next to Sanji and started staring into space. Eventually, he would get bored enough to start entertaining himself. However, Sanji quickly realized that he had underestimated him. Five pages later, Zoro was still sitting next to him. He hadn't said a word, even though his muscles were twitching nervously. – “You're not really going to watch me, are you?” Sanji finally said, annoyed, and put the book down. – “What else am I supposed to do?” came the immediate reply. Sanji let out a deep sigh. – “Your weights are over there. Go work out or something.” – Sanji picked up the book again. That was more than he could do for Zoro without spoon-feeding him every idea. Even this mosshead couldn’t be that slow on the uptake. – “You sure?” Zoro asked hesitantly. He glanced at the dumbbells that had been lying unattended in the corner for far too long. – “Yeah, yeah. Now go on.” – Sanji couldn’t help but smile when Zoro finally got up and walked over to his training equipment.

He was sure that Zoro must have missed training. He hadn't missed a single day of training before, except when they were busy shaking off the Marine or fighting an emperor. That's why he couldn't help but follow him with his eyes for a moment. He watched as Zoro looked at his weights, probably weighing up which ones to start with. He followed every movement as he peeled one arm after the other out of his coat, which now hung carelessly from his obi. Or how he picked up the first pair of dumbbells and began to train his biceps with skillful exercises. Sanji began to concentrate on the book again. At least he tried to. It became increasingly difficult with every clang of the weights and every exhalation from Zoro. Probably also because the sight of him was far too captivating. How sweat slowly formed on his skin or how his muscles seemed to become more defined with every movement. And his eyes wandered further. And further and further. Inwardly grateful that Zoro had turned his back on him.

And God, that back. How he had looked at it before, covered in clothes, and now he realized how much it really hid. It wasn't a strange sight, though. How many times had he seen Zoro with his shirt off? He couldn't even count. But the heat continued to rise within him. It made his heartbeat wildly. Until his attention was caught by something completely different. Something he had never noticed before, no matter how often he had looked at Zoro. So his eyes followed it more closely. Counting the scars and marks from the battles Zoro had fought in his years as a swordsman. Every single one on his arms. On his hands. On his chest. All the ones he could see and all the ones he couldn't see. The ones he knew were still there. There were quite a few. And yet none of them were on his back. It was almost flawless, apart from the birthmarks he discovered here and there. But otherwise, it looked as if Zoro had never fought a battle in his life. Unknowing of what a blade could do. And Sanji eyed it with a fascination he hadn't felt since discovering the All Blue.

With a hasty shake of his head, he looked away. He forced himself to avert his gaze before his thoughts drifted in completely different directions. But it was so damn hard not to think about it. How many minutes had he spent just staring at Zoro? Or was it perhaps even hours? Sanji had lost all sense of time. Completely captivated by the mere existence of a man who was no stranger to him. Who could drive him to white-hot rage at any moment. Who stood up to him and challenged him. Who demands and pushes him to heights as only Zoro can. And at the same time, it was as if he was looking at someone he didn't know until a few days ago. Someone who made his blood boil just as much as before, only now for a completely different reason. There stood a man in front of him, full of ambition. Full of passion and dedication. With a humility that only a god deserved. And yet he was just a simple cook. A love-struck fool, as Zoro often called him. And Zoro? He was a brute. A gorilla. Rough and rude. Without manners. And Sanji suddenly wondered where this man had gone.

With a heavy sigh, Sanji closed the book. There was no point in continuing when his mind was clearly elsewhere. The sound echoed a little too loudly through the room, but Zoro didn't let it disturb his exercises or cause him to look at Sanji. Only when Sanji stood up to put the book back did he look up. He followed his every move out of the corner of his eye and put down the barbell. – “Do you wanna go back?” he asked immediately, taking a step toward Sanji, who just shook his head. – “The book only bored me.” – Zoro seemed to realize that this was a lie. And if he did, he didn't say anything. Instead, he grabbed one of the towels and wiped the sweat off himself with quick movements. And as he stood there with his back to Sanji, the towel around his neck, Sanji couldn't help himself. He followed the impulse to raise his left hand and reach out to Zoro, who was drying his hair. It was the same impulse he had felt several evenings earlier in the safe darkness of the cabin. Only this time, he didn't stop. Until his fingers touched the skin that was hot and wet from training. They traced his spine down to his lower back, feeling every inch of that flawless skin.

Zoro stiffened as soon as the first fingertip touched his back. He wasn't sure what the intention behind it was or whether Sanji was even aware of what it was doing to him. – “That's really remarkable.” – The feather-light touch of his fingers became a palm pressing into the muscle of his shoulder blade. Sanji didn't even notice that he had said what he was thinking out loud. He just followed his hand with his eyes, down Zoro's side. Zoro didn't dare to speak. He didn't know what to say. Whether he should say anything at all. But he couldn't remain silent either. – “What?” – He just hoped his voice didn't sound uncertain. Not too loud and not too harsh. Because this moment couldn't end as abruptly as he feared it might. His heart couldn't take it. Even less so because Sanji was in his right mind. There was no fever. No delirium. Nothing that forced him to touch Zoro like this. How could he do anything but hope? – “Your back,” Sanji whispered absentmindedly, still running his hand down Zoro's back. – “So many battles, so many scars. But your back is absolutely flawless.” – Zoro couldn't help but snort in amusement. – “Of course it is. Anything else would be dishonorable.” – Zoro’s voice was firm, with a seriousness that snapped Sanji out of his daze. His hand jerked back from where it had been resting between Zoro’s shoulder blades. – “Why?” – Sanji could almost guess the answer. – “Any injury to the back is a disgrace. A fighter with a wound on his back has turned away in fear in the face of death.”

Zoro reached behind him over his shoulder. He held Sanji's hand, which was about to pull away, and instead guided it back to his skin. He held it there and pushed it up to his neck. Until Sanji's fingers found themselves in green hair. There they remained, even burrowing deeper into it. Neither of them said anything. Sanji, stunned but not resisting. Zoro, his teeth clenched, his jaw tense to stifle any unpleasant sound. Unsuccessful, as a heavy but satisfied exhalation escaped his lips. No longer able to hold his breath to keep from moving. He didn't want to move a muscle, afraid it might scare Sanji. It didn't. Instead, it increased the pressure of his fingers. They pressed into his neck and moved on their own. High up into his hair in a movement that almost resembled a hand scratch. – “So no one has ever hurt you there?” – “Never.” – The way Zoro said it made Sanji even more amazed. – “How can that be?” he asked, and Zoro's hand on his neck tightened. – “Isn't it obvious?” – Maybe it was. And Sanji was already expecting a self-indulgent answer. That Zoro was the best. That protecting his honor was his purpose in life. That no one was ever strong enough to take it away from him.

“Because you’re behind me.” – Sanji was about to give an indignant reply. Whatever Zoro was trying to imply, the words he chose did not suggest anything nice. But Zoro continued before Sanji could utter a sound. – “You protect my greatest weakness when I can’t.” – Sanji didn't understand what Zoro was trying to tell him. So he remained silent. Long enough for Zoro to notice his lack of understanding. – “Haven't you ever noticed?” he asked, letting go of Sanji's hand. He let it slide down from his neck and back to his lower back. – “You're always there when you're needed. You keep every enemy away from my back. You stop every bullet headed in my direction. Even in the galley, with who knows how high a fever, your first instinct was to avert any danger threatening from behind. You stand behind me. In front of me. And at the same time, in between. To the point where I've started to rely on it.” – Sanji was speechless. He had never paid much attention to it. But now that Zoro said it out loud, he noticed it himself. The many times he had protected what was closest to Zoro's honor. Unconsciously, he had protected something so important, a part of Zoro's philosophy of life, of his dream. Sanji didn't realize that he had done him such a great service. It overwhelmed him because he wasn't sure how to deal with this realization. It made him recoil helplessly. His hand broke contact with Zoro's skin. In exactly the abrupt manner that Zoro had feared.

But he swallowed his disappointment. He buried his face in the towel, just as helplessly. With the deepest desire that he could simply vanish into thin air out of shame. What had he been thinking, saying something like that? Part of his thoughts, worse still, his feelings, were shared with Sanji, who was clearly averse to the whole thing. He should have known better. But the naive hope that something could change between them had simply crept up inside him. Like a burning fire, it had made its way to the surface, searching for air, and in the end, only left ashes behind. And what remained was an icy silence. Neither of them said anything. There had never been such an awkward silence between them before. Which was probably why neither of them knew how to break it. Until Sanji decided to do what they always did. He cleared his throat loudly and pretended that Zoro hadn't just said something that made him question everything. Just like they always did. As if nothing had happened. So he turned to the window to take his first real look outside. To see the island that had been his favorite thing he wanted to see hours before.

Sanji realized that it was a lively island. A large city gate led into the heart of the island. Stone buildings were scattered across an area so large that Sanji was sure it must be wonderful to walk through these streets. He even thought he could see a market in the distance, near a large square. – “This island is incredibly large,” Sanji said in amazement. He leaned over the windowsill with his knees on the bench. – “Robin said that they are also very advanced. Whatever that means,” replied Zoro, now also approaching the window. He sat down on the bench and, turning his upper body, also rested his arm on the windowsill. – “I can't wait to see it.” – The only response Sanji got this time was an unenthusiastic “Mhm.” – “What? You're not?” Sanji asked with a snort. He turned his head to catch Zoro's expression, only to notice something else entirely.

Zoro looked at him. Not just since he had asked him something. What Sanji could read in that gray told him that his gaze had never left him. Which was absurd and at the same time not surprising. Zoro was watching him. Every waking second. With every move he made. But this was different. He wasn't just watching him. He was observing him. As if Sanji was something worth looking at closely. He couldn't take his eyes off him. He let himself be captivated and held captive. He felt the heat of a foreign body again, just like the morning he woke up next to him. A body that was no longer really foreign to him. Because Sanji had touched it. With his own fingers, he had explored skin that he should never have touched. And yet he did. He even reached out for it. He had tasted something that now haunted him. That searched for it too. With a tentative attempt to reach for him as well.

Zoro's fingers found Sanji's. He placed his fingertips on the back of his hand in a feather-light touch. – “San-” – “Ahh” – As if struck by lightning, Sanji jumped up from the bench. He put some distance between them and looked around the room in a miserable attempt to hide his panic, searching for a clock. – “I have to prepare dinner,” he said distractedly, nervously adjusting his tie. – “We should hurry,” he continued, this time much calmer. Zoro, on the other hand, didn't seem at all disturbed by Sanji's sudden outburst. All he did was stand up and walk slowly toward the hatch. Zoro didn't know either what was going on between them. But in another fit of hubris, he was ready to get closer to Sanji. To open up to him once more only to be rejected just as harshly. Obviously, his efforts were uncomfortable enough for Sanji to avoid his company. And Zoro had no choice but to accept that. No matter how heavy it made his heart. But that wouldn't stop him from continuing to drive the cook crazy. Even if it was in a different way than he had hoped.

So his next step was to open the hatch, look down briefly, and then look back at Sanji with a final exhalation. – “All right,” he said, approaching Sanji, who was now standing in front of him looking much calmer than before. The corners of Zoro's mouth turned up and his lips stretched into a broad grin. – “Ready for a fast way down?” he asked, grabbing Sanji, who was completely unprepared for such an ambush. With barely enough time to react, Zoro had already lifted him off his feet. He carried him in his arms and approached the hatch. – “What? Don’t you dare-” – Before Sanji could finish his sentence, Zoro laughed and jumped out of the hatch with enough force to carry both of them down.

Chapter Text

In the silence of the kitchen, nothing could be heard except Sanji's sharp exhalations as he blew the smoke from his cigarette into the air. Sitting quietly on a chair at the kitchen table, he watched Zoro massage each finger of his injured hand in circular motions. He didn't make a sound. His breathing was so calm and shallow that it was almost silent. – “We should go to the Island and do the shopping this afternoon,” broke Sanji the silence after what seemed like an eternity and took another drag on his cigarette. – “Did Chopper give you his OK?,” was all Zoro had to say without looking up at Sanji. – “Are you serious? I'm fine. I'm not dying, and we're really running out of supplies. Unless you want to live on dry flour and a pepper for the next few days." – Sanji was slowly getting tired of being treated like he was senile. He had an injured hand and no incurable disease. He had been through worse, and it was really time for him to get off this ship.

They had already finished breakfast for the day. And Chopper's examination had also been successfully completed. Even though he hadn't said a word about whether he thought it was okay for Sanji to leave the ship, it wasn't as if he could really forbid him to do so. And Sanji himself still knew best how he felt. And he felt fine. So there was no reason to panic. – “You always claim you’re such a good cook. I’m sure you can make something out of it.” – Sanji didn’t know if Zoro was trying to make a bad joke or if he was trying to provoke him. Either way, Sanji’s patience was hanging by a thread. – “We're out of sake, too.” – This time, Zoro glanced up briefly, probably to see if it was a lie. But without an answer, he looked away again and busied himself with massaging Sanji's thumb instead. – “I still don't think it's a good idea.” – “Luckily, I don't care what you think.” – Sanji stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray far too aggressively and pulled his hand away from Zoro.

“And how do you plan to carry all those groceries with just one hand?” Zoro continued, trying not to let on that this comment had actually affected him. He had no choice but to cross his arms defensively in front of his chest. – “That's what you're here for, isn't it?” – Why did Zoro get the feeling that Sanji was looking for a fight? For some reason, he seemed agitated. After they had prepared dinner the day before following Zoro's escapade in the crow's nest, Sanji had been acting strange. Strange in the sense of withdrawn. Distant, but not angry. As if he were hiding something from Zoro. And as long as he didn't know what it was, he preferred to smooth things over. – “You know it takes two of us to carry all that back to the ship,” Zoro began. Knowing that Sanji was already preparing a poisonous retort, he raised his hand to stop him. – “That's why I'm offering a compromise,” he said, and Sanji agreed with a grim expression on his face. – “Franky comes with me to help carry everything, and you can run all the errands we need.” – Challenging, Sanji returned Zoro's gaze. Until he finally sighed in resignation. – “All right.”

Sanji had gotten his way. He didn't mind at all that Franky would accompany them. On the contrary, the fact that the three of them would now be doing the shopping together was reason enough not to have to be alone with Zoro. Not that he was trying to avoid him. But it was one less opportunity for them to get close to each other in that confusing way. Sanji still needed time to think. Things had happened over the last few days, he had felt and experienced emotions that he still had to process. He had to figure things out for himself before one of them said something they could never take back. Because sometimes Sanji didn't recognize himself. For that reason, he didn't trust himself and sometimes didn't know what words would come out of his mouth next. And that made him angry. Irritated and desperate. And he knew he was taking it out on the wrong person. With a faint feeling of guilt creeping up inside him. Which forced him to look away from Zoro.

“Then get ready and pick up Franky. The sooner we leave, the sooner we’ll be done with this.” – Zoro just nodded and got up from his seat. He walked around the table and approached Sanji. He offered him his hand so that Sanji could take it and let Zoro lead him outside. But Sanji refused. He walked past Zoro and opened the galley door to the outside himself. Zoro followed silently. He swallowed hard and tried not to let it get too close to him. After all, he knew what Sanji was like. He knew they didn't stand a chance. Zoro didn't stand a chance. So he had no choice but to endure it as he always did. To go with Sanji to find Franky and ask him to come along. Which he was more than happy to do. Especially since he wanted to visit the island himself and buy a few things he needed for the Sunny. That left Chopper alone on board. He didn't seem to mind, though. Instead, he urged Sanji to be careful. To rely on Zoro if he felt uncomfortable and to tell Zoro himself to keep an eye on Sanji. Which, conscientious as he was, was confirmed with a nod. And he leaves Sanji outside with a blush and much too firm steps.

He had even remembered the shopping list that was stuck to the refrigerator and was now holding it in his left hand. He read it over again, trying to decipher a word or two, and followed Zoro and Franky toward the market. Which wasn't too difficult. They just had to follow the crowd of people with empty baskets who were also heading to the market. They laughed and gossiped, not even noticing that strangers were exploring their island. – “Okay, let's start with the vegetables. Then the fruit. Next, the non-perishable items and the long-life foods. Finally, the perishable goods like meat and fish,” said Sanji, without looking up from the list. – “And don't get lost, Marimo.” – Zoro replied with a snort. How could that happen when Zoro didn't let him out of his sight even for a moment? He went everywhere Sanji went. It was practically impossible for him to get lost. Sanji was well aware of this too, but couldn't resist the comment. Especially since it was what he always said to Zoro when they stopped on a strange island and went shopping together. It was almost like a ritual. A little nudge to start an argument. But this time, it wouldn't come.

Without another word, they headed toward the market and began making their way through the vegetable stands. Back and forth they went until Sanji found the stand with the best vegetables. He examined each tomato individually before placing it in the bag. He was so meticulous that after what seemed like an eternity, Franky began to groan loudly. – “Oh boy. Does he do this every time you go shopping?” he whispered to Zoro, without Sanji noticing. He was far too busy negotiating a reasonable price for a kilo of potatoes with the farmer. – “Every time,” Zoro confirmed with an expressionless face. It was no longer unusual for him to spend hours waiting for Sanji to finally find food that met his standards. He had long since come to terms with it. In a way, he even found it endearing how much dedication Sanji showed in providing his comrades with only the best. – “That's not suuuuper at all. No wonder it takes you guys all day,” grumbled Franky, who was less accustomed to it, looking around the market.

“So, that's all the vegetables we need,” Sanji said, more than satisfied with himself. He had managed to get the potatoes at a good price, which would surely make Nami proud of him. And while Zoro shouldered the huge bag, Sanji moved on and pulled the shopping list out of his pocket again. – “What fruit do we need? Maybe it'll be quicker if we split up?” Franky asked curiously, hoping to get the shopping done faster, and glanced over Sanji's shoulder at the list. Sanji quickly folded it up again. – “No way,” he replied nervously, not sure how much Franky had seen of the list. – “Only the best fruit is good enough for the ladies. Who knows what you'd bring back. Even worse, Zoro.” – Another little dig in his direction. Zoro had almost forgotten what that was like after all the days of truce between them. But Sanji seemed to be doing better. Which probably meant that they would fall back into old patterns. Zoro accepted that silently too. Because he knew it was only a matter of time before the peace between them would be over for good. No matter how hard Zoro tried to prevent it.

“It's surprisingly warm on this island,” said Sanji after a few steps, pulling at the collar of his shirt. If he had known how much he would sweat here, he would have left his jacket behind. Maybe even worn something more summery. – “We should take a break,” replied Zoro, heading for a nearby bench. – “It's fine, it's just a little warm. I'm not going to pass out.” – Sanji knew that the only reason for a break should be for Sanji to rest. Which he didn't need. They never took breaks when they went shopping, no matter what island they were on. – “You're still injured. And I'm not going to betray Chopper's trust. Remember, the only reason he let you go was because I'm looking after you.” – Zoro's stubborn gaze was final. And Sanji knew he had lost. But Zoro had played unfairly. Because he knew that he didn't want to disappoint Chopper either. Especially not when he was the one who had put so much effort into his recovery. So Sanji had no choice but to accept his fate and follow Zoro to the bench. Just like Franky, who wasn't particularly thrilled about the break either. But he understood and didn't protest.

“Sit down, I'll get you some water,” said Zoro, placing the groceries next to the bench, just like Franky had done. Sanji was about to protest, telling Zoro that he could save himself the trouble because he would just get lost again. But he didn't get the chance. – “Franky, you stay with him.” – “Aye, aye,” replied Franky, who didn't take the matter as seriously as Zoro would have liked. But it would do for now. He wouldn't be gone long, so what could happen? That's why he had disappeared in search of water before Sanji could stop him. And so he sat on the bench with Franky, who was watching the hustle and bustle around them. – “There's a tool shop over there,” Franky broke the silence after a few minutes and pointed in that direction. – “Do you mind if I take a quick look?” he asked Sanji, who was also looking in the direction of the tool shop. – “No, no. Go ahead,” he replied, waving him away. He knew Franky didn't have the patience to spend the whole day shopping with them. He deserved to see something he was interested in. And it wasn't as if chaos would break out if he stayed behind alone for a moment. On the contrary, Sanji would enjoy having a moment to himself. He could explore the market square with his eyes and let his thoughts wander. – “Great. I'll be right back.”

And with that, Franky was gone. He was less concerned about leaving Sanji alone. For which Sanji was extremely grateful. Finally, someone who didn't treat him like a raw egg, but like an adult. Sanji breathed a sigh of relief. His gaze now wandered over the market as well. He marveled at the stalls and the people bustling around them. Until his attention was drawn to the ground. He looked down and saw an orange roll right in front of his feet. – “Oh, I’m sorry,” a gentle voice said immediately. – “The basket was heavier than I thought,” laughed the woman, who hurried over to pick up the orange from the floor. Just like several others that were also scattered on the floor. – “No problem. Can I help you?” – Ever the gentleman, Sanji helped pick up the oranges and put them back in the large basket the woman was carrying. – “Oh no. I can’t let you do that,” the woman declined politely, adjusting the basket in her arms and glancing at Sanji’s injured hand. – “I insist. A lady shouldn't carry such a heavy basket on her own,” he replied, immediately taking the basket from the woman, which was no trouble for him. Even with only one arm, it was easy for Sanji to hold the basket and give the woman a charming smile.

“Thank you very much,” said the woman, bowing slightly. – “It’s not far anymore. Just over there.” – And indeed, less than ten meters away was an orange stand, and Sanji followed the woman who showed him the way. He forgot about his own groceries and, even more so, about Zoro, who would surely be back any minute. But what could Sanji say? In the face of such a beautiful woman, he couldn't help himself. Even more so when she needed help. – “My name is Mai, by the way,” said the woman as they arrived at the stand and Sanji put the basket down where she had indicated. – “Sanji,” he replied with a gentle smile and held out his hand, which Mai immediately took. Completely in his element, Sanji led the young woman's hand to his face and pretended to kiss it without his lips actually touching her skin. This made Mai blush slightly, followed by a giggle. – “I assume you're new here. I don't remember seeing you here before.” – Mai withdrew her hand and walked around the stand where they had been standing, beginning to arrange the oranges on the shelf. – “I'm just passing through,” Sanji confessed, omitting the detail that he was a pirate. – “I'm in the process of gathering some food supplies. Anything you can recommend?“ – “Of course.” – Mai’s face lit up and she picked up one of the most beautiful oranges. – “Our oranges are excellent. We planted and grew them ourselves. Our plantation is famous all over the island,” she said, handing Sanji the orange. – “And as a thank you for your help, I’d like to give you some of them.”

Sanji was about to refuse, but took the orange offered to him in his left hand. If there was one thing they had plenty of, it was oranges. But how could he say no to such a charming woman? – “Thank you very much, but that's really not necessary. I was happy to help.” – “Please, I want to show my gratitude,” Mai insisted, already picking up a bag to pack some of the oranges for Sanji. – “How about dinner instead?” Sanji stopped her and gave her the brightest smile he could muster. – “As luck would have it, I'm an excellent cook,” he added, winking at Mai. This only made her giggle shyly. – “I'm afraid my husband might have something against that,” Mai announced, who hadn't missed Sanji's intention to flirt with her. – “Husband?” Sanji asked, taken aback, the smile fading from his face. Mai just nodded and pointed to a tall man standing some distance away. He had short brown hair and a smile that could outshine the sun, with muscles that could almost rival Zoro's. But only almost.

“Then I sincerely apologize. It was not my intention to make advances toward a married woman.” – And Sanji meant it. He may have been a lecher, but he was not a cheater. – “It's okay. I usually wear a ring, but my hands always get so dirty at work,” she explained, pulling the ring from under the collar of her dress, where it hung on a chain around her neck. – “You don't have to justify yourself. I should have known that a woman as beautiful as you was already taken,” Sanji laughed, and Mai joined in. It wasn't awkward between them at all, as Sanji had initially suspected. In fact, it was incredibly pleasant to talk to Mai, laugh with her, and discuss what wonderful recipes could be created with good oranges. – “What happened to your hand, by the way?” Mai asked suddenly. – “A cooking accident?” – Sanji was surprised by the question, but immediately suppressed a laugh. Him and a cooking accident? He was way past that point. At least as far as the last time he burned something. – “Oh no, that was-” – Yeah, what was it? The truth was, he didn’t know himself. Yes, it was an accident. But what kind?

“I-” – Sanji faltered, still struggling for words. And then he did what he did best. – “I fought,” he replied with a grin on his lips. All the feelings and doubts that were raging inside him hid behind his smile. And Mai’s eyes grew wide. Shiny. As if she were expecting the most thrilling story ever told. – “Against a gorilla.” – “What? A gorilla?” – Sanji was slowly beginning to understand what Usopp found so exciting about storytelling. The way Mai hung on his every word was fascinating. She listened intently, and Sanji wasn't going to disappoint her. She was a farm girl who had probably never seen anything outside her own village. And now she was listening to the story of a traveling stranger. And at the end of the day, that's all it was. A story. – “And he was huge,” Sanji continued, gesturing with his arms, the orange still in his left hand. – “As big as a mountain.” – Oh, and how he was. Zoro may not have towered over him in height, but he certainly did in width. – “With claws.” – And at some point, the lie mixed with the truth. – “Claws?” Mai asked in amazement, unable to believe what she was hearing. – “Pretty unusual for a gorilla, huh?” – Sanji laughed again, leaned over the stand a little and came closer to Mai. – “And a murderous look,” he continued, narrowing his eyes to slits. – “With eyes” – The tension in his words rose. He pulled back again and looked down at his bandaged hand. The still bright white bandage fit perfectly around his palm. And the memory of the accident came back instantly. It played like a movie in his mind's eye. – “As gray as-” – He remembered the look Zoro had given him. – “The blade of a sword.”

“Did you defeat him?” Sanji tore himself away from these memories and looked back at Mai. – “No. He injured me and then disappeared.” – It wasn’t even a lie. Not like Zoro’s posture had collapsed the moment his blade touched Sanji’s skin. Suddenly, everything that defined Zoro in battle was gone. All the strength and self-confidence. The danger that emanated from every pore and often from his gaze alone. – “But there was a man there.” – Instead, there stood a simple man. Someone who cared for him. A man who protected him like a precious possession. – “He took care of me and tended to my wound.” – And Sanji let himself be taken in by it. By the feeling that Zoro evoked in him. The feeling that Zoro himself gave him. And suddenly he wondered why he had been angry about it in the first place. Why it had made him feel uneasy when now, as he talked about it, all that remained was a pleasant warmth. – “He must be a wonderful man to make you smile like that,” giggled Mai, hiding behind her hand. And Sanji couldn’t bring himself to pretend it wasn’t true. – “He is,” he confessed, raising his left hand, holding his index finger to his lips, the other fingers still clutching the orange. – “But shhh,” he said, as if he had just shared a big secret with her. Which it probably was. And at the same time, it was a realization that had been foreign to him until just a moment ago.

Mai giggled again and winked back at Sanji. – “Can I see?” she asked excitedly, holding out her hand. Sanji nodded and gave her his injured hand. Mai took it carefully and looked at the professionally applied bandage. – “Does it still hurt?” she asked, without taking her eyes off his hand. – “Now and then. But it's not that serious.“ – She turned Sanji's hand around in hers to catch a glimpse of his brave injury. But everything was neatly hidden behind the white bandage. Mai was about to let go of him when she suddenly flinched. A shiver ran down her spine and she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. Only when she looked up again to see past Sanji did she realize what it was. Every hair on her body stood on end and she swallowed hard. – “We're being watched,” she said, intimidated. Sanji, who himself didn't yet understand what it was that had suddenly frightened her so much, turned his head in the direction she was looking. – “Do you know that man?” – Sanji wanted to say no. Because the truth was, there was no man standing there. It was the gorilla. With an expression on his face that could send enemies fleeing in fear alone. A murderous spark and an aura that made you freeze. This was not the man who protected him. It was the gorilla who fought him.

“Don't worry, Mai,” said Sanji, not convinced himself, but enough to calm Mai down. Which was clearly a mistake. Zoro approached them with determined steps, his face expressionless, and grabbed Mai's wrist in a painful grip. – “Don't touch,” he growled without looking at her. Mai let out a pained cry and tried to pull her hand away from Zoro, but his grip was merciless. – “Are you crazy?” Sanji shouted, kicking Zoro so he would finally let go of Mai. – “You can't treat a lady like that!” he continued, pushing Zoro back far enough that he released Mai and now stood in front of Sanji. – “You damn gorilla!” – Sanji cursed. He was beside himself at how Zoro could treat a woman like that. He would have loved to beat him black and blue for it. But they were in public, which was the only reason he held back. He even tried to control his voice, which wanted nothing more than to yell at him.

“Gorilla,” whispered Mai, unsure of what was happening. Her gaze wandered over the newcomer. His impressive stature. His intimidating demeanor. The swords that rested at his hips like claws. And as if all the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place in her mind, she ran forward. Pushing aside her own fear and panic, she circled around the stand and stood protectively in front of Sanji. She spread her arms and shouted at Zoro with a trembling voice. – “Leave him alone!” – Zoro looked down at her. Still unimpressed, he looked back at Sanji. – “You hurt him once, you won’t do it again!” – And before either of them realized what was happening, Mai was on top of Zoro, trying to attack him. But she wasn’t strong enough, and all she could do was pound his chest with her fists. – “Get lost!,” she shouted after him, her eyes squeezed shut, already expecting Zoro to fight back. But there was no counterattack. By the time Zoro finally understood what this strange woman was talking about, they had already attracted the attention of other passers-by. And from the looks of it, it was Zoro who posed a threat in their eyes. Like a monster that had to be fought. Zoro didn't know what to do. But this woman obviously knew what had happened between him and Sanji, who now stood there helplessly. They looked at each other, and Zoro could see the conflict in Sanji. His furrowed eyebrows and his restless gaze, which kept wandering back to Mai.

Zoro couldn't take it anymore. Why didn't Sanji say anything? Why didn't he stop her? Why didn't he try to explain frantically that this was all a misunderstanding? Why did it hurt so much in his chest? It wasn't the pain from the young woman's fists, which were hitting him with barely noticeable force. It was a pain deep inside him that he had felt for a long time, but only now was it threatening to consume him. Because this was no misunderstanding. Sanji had told this woman what a sin he had committed. He had laid Zoro's shame bare for a stranger to judge. It was the truth that Zoro had feared so much. The truth that in Sanji's eyes, he was nothing more than a monster. An uncouth brute. A man raised among wolves. An animal. And Zoro decided that was how it would be. If it was Sanji's truth, then it would be his too.

As if by reflex, Zoro put his hand on his sword to calm himself down. But before he could reach the hilt, he heard Sanji's panicked voice shout. – “No!” – With too much force, he grabbed Mai by the shoulder. The orange fell to the ground and Mai landed in his arms. Sanji’s gaze showed fear, and that was all Zoro needed to know. Zoro’s grip on his sword tightened. It was painful even for him. But it grounded him enough to keep him from losing his mind. Going mad with the realization of what kind of man Sanji thought he was. – “I'll take the supplies back to the ship,” Zoro said in a firm voice. He didn't let on how much pain was boiling beneath the surface. His gaze, just as firm, was fixed on Sanji. It wandered from his face down to his hand, which was still resting on the woman's shoulder. He held her protectively close to him, just in case Zoro decided to cut her in four after all. Her face, streaked with fear, avoided his gaze. She had long blonde hair. Lighter than Sanji's. Eyes just as blue, paler than his. She was beautiful. Even gorgeous. Downright perfect. Perfect for Sanji.

Zoro couldn't help but notice how well they suited each other. How much it seemed to be what Sanji wanted. A beautiful and charming woman by his side. Someone he could protect. Someone he could cook for and who would eat every bite with a joy that made his heart melt. That he could carry on his hands, like the princess he was going to turn her into. Not someone like him. And that was why Zoro was doomed from the start. Because he was everything Sanji despised. And he couldn't be anything he longed for. Sanji could never be his. Not even with him.

“Franky will finish the rest of the shopping with you.” – Zoro was lost. The path he had been walking on just a moment ago opened up beneath him, leaving him in free fall. And before the fall killed him, breaking every bone in his body along with his heart, he turned away from Sanji. He shouldered the groceries and left the market square. With an imaginary voice in his ear that sounded so familiar, like Sanji. Telling him not to get lost.

Chapter Text

The rest of the day was marked by silence. Sanji had finished shopping with Franky. He sincerely apologized to Mai for the mess and assured her that everything was fine after she looked at him with a worried expression. He saved himself the trouble of explaining the whole thing to her. Of setting straight that Zoro, despite this incident, was not a bad person. He wasn't ready to share such private details with anyone. What he had told her was supposed to be nothing more than a story. But what it had triggered was so much worse than he had dared to imagine. All hell had broken loose. And something between him and Zoro had broken that was so small and fragile that he wondered if it could ever be repaired. But even if it could, Zoro didn't seem ready to talk about what had happened. He had merely helped carry the supplies onto the ship as soon as Sanji and Franky had arrived. He had continued to follow Sanji's every move, though this time much more discreetly. So unnoticed that Sanji hardly saw him at all. When Sanji entered the galley, the table was already set, the bread was sliced, and everything he needed was laid out. In the evening, his pajamas were already in the bathroom and the covers of his bed were turned back. Every now and then, Zoro would appear out of nowhere to light his cigarette. But nothing was the same as before.

And suddenly Sanji realized how much he missed it. Zoro's constant and unambiguous presence. The certainty that he was there when he needed him and even when he didn't. He had already noticed it while shopping. The first time as he bumped his right hand on one of the stalls, it became clear. The next time, he absentmindedly picked up an apple with the same hand, only to have it slip out of his numb fingers. All these things that no one had noticed. Except Zoro. And Sanji missed it. Missed Zoro. Even though he wasn't even gone. He was there. Somewhere close to him and yet so far away, as if the Red Line separated them. And Sanji didn't know how to bridge that distance.

The next day, he became even more painfully aware of what this distance meant. What the consequences were. Because when he woke up, he realized that suddenly everything was different. Zoro was long gone, had packed his clothes, even tied his tie and buttoned his shirt far enough so that he could pull it over his head. He had also rolled up his sleeves. Everything had been prepared so meticulously that Zoro rarely needed to lay a hand on him. Even the galley had been prepared for breakfast as it had been for the last meal. It was at breakfast that he saw Zoro for the first time. Apart from a nod to the group, he remained silent. His strange behavior attracted the attention of their other comrades, but none of them dared to say anything. The air between them was thick. And it was no secret. Only Franky had a vague idea of what the problem was, but he had enough decency to keep quiet about it. It was bad enough that he felt primarily responsible. He should have stayed with Sanji, as Zoro had wanted. But in his recklessness, he had believed that it couldn't be that important. After all, Sanji was a grown man. He could take care of himself. He couldn't have known that something completely different would lead to this chaos.

When breakfast was over, Zoro stayed behind to do the dishes. But whenever Sanji tried to talk to him, Zoro ignored him completely. He didn't respond to any of his attempts at conversation and silently washed the dishes. Then he left the galley just as silently, leaving Sanji alone again. It drove him to despair. Zoro was avoiding him. And not even subtly. Which only annoyed Sanji even more. So much so that he retreated to the oranges plantation at lunchtime. To the place where he knew Nami would come to whenever she missed her family particularly badly. To the middle of the plantation, where Sanji had set up a table and chair that Franky had made especially for her some time ago. With orange-shaped ornaments and upholstery fit for a princess. Every now and then, he would serve her a snack and something to drink here when he couldn't find her anywhere else. And every time, her face would light up and they would drink a cup of tea together. They would talk about what Bellemere was like or what mischief she and Nojiko had gotten up to that had driven her crazy.

It was a beautiful place. And surely Nami wouldn't mind him being here without her. – “Sanji? What are you doing here?” – With anyone else, the saying “speak of the devil” would have come to mind. But he wasn't Zoro. He would never describe his beloved Nami with such a frivolous word. Even though he couldn't deny what a coincidence it was, he had just been thinking about her. – “It's a nice place to think,” he replied, getting up from the chair and offering it to Nami, who sat down gratefully. – “And the truth?” she asked skeptically, crossing her legs and leaning back in the chair. Sanji sighed resignedly. – “And the truth is, this is the only place that keeps me from smoking,” he confessed, nervously fiddling with his cigarette pack. What he would give for a drag right now. But this was a sacred place. It was part of Nami's home. And he never wanted to risk accidentally setting it on fire with a cigarette. But on the other hand, he knew that he would run into Zoro as soon as he even thought about putting one between his lips. And he wasn't ready for that right now. Why exactly was that idiot still carrying his lighter around with him?

“Where's your shadow?” Nami's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. She looked around, but couldn't see Zoro anywhere. – “Surely within earshot.” – Which meant that he couldn't even have a conversation without Zoro noticing. Another invasion of his privacy. But maybe, for a change, he had enough decency to tune out. Which Sanji somehow doubted. – “What exactly is going on between you two?” Nami asked next. As always, without beating around the bush. – “I don’t know what you mean,” Sanji tried to deflect, sitting down on the edge of the table. – “Don’t take me for a fool. Yesterday morning, Zoro was following you around like a lovesick puppy, and today I haven’t seen him near you once, except for breakfast.” – Sanji sighed heavily. Of course, their comrades had noticed. It couldn't be otherwise, given how obviously Zoro was avoiding him. But what could he tell her? Certainly not the truth. But what was the truth anyway? That Sanji had screwed up? That he suddenly felt things for Zoro that made him panic so much that he got himself into this mess in the first place? Maybe the truth was all of that.

“It's complicated” – “Algebra is complicated. But not Zoro. He's a simple man. And whatever happened can surely be solved with a bottle of good sake” – Sanji thought about it for a moment. He almost laughed at how true it was. – “I don't think it's that simple this time.” – He sighed again. And Nami gave him time to think about his next words. – “I said something stupid, which led to something even more stupid. And I think it hurt Zoro's-” – Sanji couldn't believe he was saying that. – “Feelings.” – Surprised, Nami raised an eyebrow. Whatever she had expected, it wasn’t that. – “Then I guess the best thing to do is apologize. Don’t you think?” – It was such a simple explanation for his problem. So why was it so hard for him? – “You're right. But there's so much more we need to talk about. And as you know, Zoro and I aren't exactly good at talking to each other.” – Sanji let out a loud groan, annoyed with himself. – “At least not without a fight.”

“Then it's time to learn,” said Nami, standing up. She approached Sanji and placed a hand on his shoulder encouragingly. – “We're a team. And for each of us, there comes a time when we have to step out of our comfort zone. Whether it's to ask for help, apologize, or just talk to each other. And I know that unpleasant things require courage. But you can do it. Zoro is only half as big of a brute as he acts. The fact that there are feelings that can be hurt shows that he's only human too.“ – She patted him on the shoulder and moved away from him. – „So pull yourself together. And who knows?“ – Nami winked playfully at him. – “Maybe you’ll be in for a surprise. “ – Sanji looked after her in surprise as she turned to leave. – “Do your best,” she called after him, raising her hand in farewell. And with that, she was gone, leaving Sanji alone to ponder her words. But what was there to think about? Nami was right. He had to pull himself together and face the problem. Running away wouldn't help. Not him, and not Zoro either. So he took heart and left the plantation to prepare dinner. And when all their comrades had slowly gone to bed, they would have enough peace and quiet to talk.

As planned, Sanji set to work. As expected, he found the galley prepared for dinner and began to cook. This was the only time he didn't worry about what was to come. Because he could finally switch off and do what he loved most. However, that didn't stop him from drifting into another spiral as soon as they sat down at the table to start eating. Even more so when he watched Zoro cut the meat on his plate as carefully as he had done the day before. A warmth spread through Sanji, the source of which he couldn't explain. Only that it disappeared just as quickly when Zoro turned away and didn't even glance at him. But he would get through that too, until it was time to wash up and go to bed. Sanji also left the galley. He went outside to get some fresh air, which he needed so badly. But also to calm his nerves. And perhaps to gather his thoughts. Until the moment finally came. Enough time had passed that Zoro must have finished washing up and Sanji could sense his presence, even though he couldn't see him.

“Are you finally done avoiding me?” Sanji asked into the silence as he stood all alone on the rear deck, slipping a cigarette between his lips. Not a moment too late, Zoro appeared, holding the lighter in his direction. He still didn't say a word to Sanji. His expression blank, he put the lighter away again as Sanji's cigarette began to burn. – “What? Have you taken a vow of silence or something?” – He knew he shouldn’t be like this. Sanji was the one who had made a mistake, but admitting it, especially to Zoro, was so much harder than he had thought. And suddenly he admired Zoro so much more for his courage in kneeling down in front of him after the accident to ask for forgiveness. – “No.” – It sounded dry. But Sanji was glad to finally hear his voice again. – “But we have nothing to talk about.” – Sanji couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What did that mean, they had nothing to talk about? Yes, they didn’t have the most profound conversations, but to put it that way was a bit of an exaggeration. He hadn't left his side for days. So why now? – “You're not serious?” – Sanji felt a lump in his throat. All the words he had so carefully chosen were scattered to the winds. – “You're just sulking.” – It was stupid of him to say that. But he didn't know what else to say. Standing in front of him was Zoro. His friend and eternal rival. All they did all day long was argue. It had never been necessary to apologize. Because they both always knew what it was between them. How to take it. But now that Sanji had crossed a line, their usual way of dealing with it didn't help. They couldn't just ignore it and pretend nothing had happened.

“You just don't get it” – Obviously. But Zoro didn't have the strength to explain it to him. He didn't want to either. Because if he didn't figure it out for himself, what was the point? Zoro had come to terms with it. And he certainly didn't want to start an argument now. They would have more than enough time for that later. He would keep a low profile until Sanji had fully recovered and his injury had healed. He would do what he had promised and then return to his old habits. He would bury everything that had happened over the past week in the back of his mind, along with his feelings. Just as he had done for the past few years.

“What's there to get? Yesterday was a misunderstanding. Don't you think you're overreacting a little?” – Zoro snorted dismissively. He would have loved to throw all the things that had kept him awake all night at Sanji. But he thought better of it. – “You know what, you're right,” he replied. – “It was a misunderstanding. And you have no reason to apologize.” – “That’s not what I meant.” – Zoro stared at him intently until Sanji looked away. – “Then what did you mean?” – Sanji had no answer and remained silent. That was enough for Zoro to declare their conversation over, and he turned to leave. But Sanji couldn't let it go. He had to stop Zoro from leaving. He couldn't just disappear without clearing this up. – “Hey, don't just walk away!” he called after him. He wanted to grab him, but didn't dare. He didn't know how much that would make the situation worse. – “I was frustrated, okay!” he finally admitted, but Zoro still didn’t turn around. – “You suffocated me with your presence. You treated me like a raw egg. All I wanted was for everything to be the way it was before!” – Sanji had raised his voice without meaning to. It ate away at him how much Zoro's presence consumed him. How much he had thought about him over the last few days. How much he had even longed for him. – “So now it's my fault?” – Zoro was angry. In a way Sanji had never seen before. This underlying anger seeping out through his posture alone.

“What? No! I mean, we both made mistakes. But that's no reason to behave like this” – Sanji launched into an uncontrolled tirade. And he knew that the next words to leave his mouth would only make things worse. – “That's childish, and the least you could have done was apologize to Mai for treating her like that.” – “You mean the way you apologized?” – Zoro's words were sharp. They cut through the air like his swords and made Sanji furious. – “What for? It was a misunderstanding!” he snapped back. He certainly wouldn’t let himself guilt trip just because this moss-brained idiot had a problem with him talking to a woman. It even made him forget that he had actually intended to apologize. But instead, he was so caught up in their verbal battle that he went into a natural defensiveness. He didn't want to give him the satisfaction of giving in now. – “Then why didn't you make it clear when the time was right?” – “You didn't say anything either!” – It had been a long time since they had shouted at each other like this. And it was the first time their arguments had been about anything other than their bounties or other trivialities. This was a serious argument. They were getting worked up and neither of them wanted to give in.

“Because it would have been your job! You were the one who told that woman God knows what just to get her.” – Zoro took an angry step toward him. – “So what? Did you get her number? A little fling in some dirty alley? Or maybe a romantic walk, because you're such a gentleman?" – Before Sanji could think about it, he had already swung his leg out to kick Zoro. He hit Zoro's side, but Zoro had seen the kick coming and caught Sanji's leg between his chest and upper arm. – “You're despicable!“, hissed Sanji, trying to free his leg. But Zoro didn't let go. – “I'm despicable? Who's the one chasing after every skirt like a dog in heat?” – Sanji tugged more frantically at his leg. – “At least I know how to treat a woman right!” – Sanji was tired of listening to this. He wanted to finally put some distance between them. He let himself fall and caught his balance with his left hand, then swung his other leg out. The sole of his foot hit Zoro's chest hard enough to send him reeling back, allowing Sanji to free his leg. – “Therefore you're a total ass to everyone else!” Zoro growled, recovering from the attack and lunging at Sanji again. Without reaching for one of his swords, he grabbed Sanji by the collar, but Sanji dodged him and swung another kick.

“Some people just get what they deserve!” – Zoro blocked the kick coming toward him. – “Oh, and with what? I apologized for what happened to your hand! I even made myself your slave!” – Zoro dodged the next kick just as skillfully as the last one. He fought his battle alone by dodging and pushing Sanji back. – “You forced yourself on me! You took my damn air to breathe! You treated me like a child!” – His next kick hit Zoro on the shoulder. – “A slave would at least have left when told to!” – Zoro's shoulder hurt. The kick had more force than he had expected from Sanji. Which made him realize how serious he was. But Zoro would not give up. All the pent-up emotions inside him suddenly burst out. And he went blind. – “You just don't get it!” he shouted at him and, in a last attempt, tripped Sanji, who was already swinging again. Instead, however, he stumbled and fell backwards against the wall, which he hadn't realized was so close until then. He slid down it and landed hard on his backside.

“One word from you and I would have done anything for you,” he growled. He crouched down and approached Sanji, who tried to move further back. But he was trapped. With his back against the wall, there was no escape. Sanji returned Zoro's gaze, who looked down at him with anger. His hand shot out, striking the wall with his open palm right next to his face and resting there. Holding him captive. Zoro's other hand grabbed Sanji's jaw. Forcing him not to look away. His voice sounded dangerous. Deep and calm. Electrifying, it sent goosebumps over Sanji's skin. It sent a shiver down his spine and made his heart beat in his throat. His whole body told him to run. That this was the epitome of danger. But his mind kept him still. Made him breathe the same air as Zoro. Trembling, he inhaled his scent until every one of his senses tingled with excitement. – “How much of myself do I have to give up before you finally get it?” – Zoro’s fingers dug deeper into his cheeks. The palm of his hand pressed into Sanji’s throat, cutting off his breath, but not enough to make him gasp. And then Zoro pressed his lips to Sanji’s. Far too roughly and far too hastily, he took them captive. He kissed him with a fervor that Sanji could only describe as brutal. A stifled sound escaped him, instantly swallowed by Zoro's lips.

As if by itself, Sanji's hand found its way into the green fabric of his coat. He clung to it while Zoro still wouldn't let go of him. Still kissing him until Sanji was on fire. Kissing him back eagerly. Returning every effort. Their tongues exploring and caressing each other. Zoro increased the pressure. Like a starving man, he took him in until the back of Sanji's head hurt from being pressed uncomfortably against the wood of the wall. Zoro let out another growl, biting Sanji's lip hard enough to almost draw blood. And Sanji bit back. They kissed each other like they fought. With strength and resistance. With teeth that bit and clashed as they struggled for the upper hand. Zoro's hand slid from his jaw and wrapped around his throat. He pulled him closer, Sanji's upper body closer to his. No matter what he did, it wasn't enough. As long as he had longed for this moment, it wasn't enough to satisfy the hunger inside him. He even knew that he would never get enough of kissing this man. Devouring him, skin and hair. With the desire that Sanji craved him as much as he craved him. Zoro hoped so much that he did, if Sanji's tugging and pulling at his coat was proof enough. Sanji pulled him closer to him just as Zoro had done. Returned his kiss until they were both out of breath.

Only after what seemed like an eternity did Zoro wistfully pull away from Sanji's lips. He kept his eyes closed and pressed his forehead against Sanji's instead. Not yet ready to let go completely. Already missing the feeling of how he felt. Pressed so close to him and like wax in his hands. They were both breathing heavily. Processing what had happened between them. Sanji more than Zoro, who finally had hope that Sanji understood. Wanted him just as much. – “I never asked you to,” Sanji whispered between breaths, his eyes still closed. Zoro felt his heart sink. He opened his eyes and saw Sanji's forehead crease. His face distorted as if he were in pain. Suddenly, Zoro's hope shattered into a million pieces. Everything he thought he knew about Sanji turned out to be a big lie. An illusion he had created for himself so he wouldn't be crushed. And so Zoro did what he should have done a long time ago.

Zoro let go. He broke away from Sanji and put some distance between them. He stood up and took two steps back. He waited, hoping that Sanji would finally open his eyes and look at him. He hoped he would tell him what it all meant. But, as so often before, his hopes were in vain. Sanji wouldn't explain himself. He wouldn't tell him that this was also a misunderstanding. That he kissed him back because he wanted to, just like Zoro. That he was sorry he hurt him. That everything would be okay. And yet Zoro waited two more heartbeats, only to be disappointed again. Zoro had lost for good. His hope, Sanji, and himself.

With the last ounce of self-control he had left, he reached into his coat pocket. He took out what he had been hiding there, what he had guarded like his most precious treasure, and threw it at Sanji's feet. There was a loud clattering sound, and before it finally died away, Zoro had disappeared. He left Sanji alone with his thoughts. With his fears and doubts. And for several agonizing minutes, he still did not open his eyes. He forced himself to breathe regularly so as not to panic until he had enough courage to open his eyes. Sanji realized he was alone on deck. His gaze was fixed straight ahead, leading to nothing. Just like his thoughts, which were so loud that he couldn't even hear the sound of the sea anymore. Desperately, he lowered his gaze and looked at the floor. Right in front of his feet, where his golden lighter lay.

A joyless laugh escaped his rough throat and he leaned back against the wood. He looked up at the stars, which shone brightly and mockingly down on him.

Chapter Text

Sanji couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned restlessly in his bed, his eyes closed. Except for Luffy's snoring, there was no sound in the dormitory. He had lost count of how many hours he had been lying there. But in none of them had the door opened, as he had hoped. Zoro had not returned to his bed that night. That meant the only place he could be was the crow's nest. Which worried Sanji. Because the only reason Zoro would go up there was to train or to keep watch. Either way, that meant he wasn't sleeping any more than Sanji was. Probably plagued by the same thoughts, they were the only souls awake on the ship. And Sanji was truly plagued. Over and over again, he replayed the memories of the last few hours. Over and over again, he thought about what had happened between them. What terrible things he had said and how hurtful Zoro's response had been. But even worse was the memory of the kiss they had shared.

Sanji exhaled shakily. It was absolutely crazy. They had kissed. Zoro had kissed Sanji. His lips pressed against Sanji's. Desperate and hungry. And Sanji felt the hunger. A hunger so different from anything he had ever known. A hunger that no dish in the world could satisfy. Because they were hungry for each other. For touch, for attention, and for something so much deeper. So much that it hurt. Sanji felt it. He wondered if that was what Zoro had felt all those times he had looked at him. With a sincerity and devotion he looked at no one else with. Did that really mean that Zoro felt something for him? Was that what Sanji himself felt? Could it really be that all the wars they had fought against each other were just hiding what was really slumbering beneath the surface? Could it really be?

This thought consumed him. Was that what Zoro had been trying so desperately to make him understand? He had said so many times that Sanji didn't get it. And he was right. Sanji didn't get it. He couldn't comprehend how things between them could have developed in this direction. Where these feelings for a man he had always considered a burden came from. Whom he had always secretly admired because he was so much like what Sanji revered. His loyalty. His righteousness. His sense of propriety in eating every meal, no matter how awful it was. His honesty, which could sometimes hurt. His strength and skill with a sword. Because his hands were just as skilled as his own. The way he cared. And the soft core that lay dormant within him and which he kept as carefully hidden as the One Piece itself.

Sanji couldn't believe it. He had feelings for this brutish gorilla. He had real, deep feelings for Zoro. And if the way he suddenly saw him wasn't proof enough, it was his body that told him he missed him. His lips burned with the desire to feel another of Zoro's kisses. Or the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end when he remembered how fervently Zoro had grabbed him. The way he smelled. His body reacted to it. He ached with longing. So much so that there was no point in trying to sleep.

Sanji got out of bed as quietly as he could. And for the first time in days, he opened his clothes drawer himself. He picked out his clothes for the day and went to the bathroom to get dressed on his own. Right to the end. Which was awful. So awful that he had no choice but to go back to his closet and dig a T-shirt out of the far corner. But if that was what his day was going to be like, then that wasn't going to be his last compromise. Even though he hoped it wouldn't be. That he would come into the kitchen and see Zoro there. How he would give him an embarrassed smile and then help cut the bread. That he would set the table for Sanji, just like he had done the last few days.

But when Sanji entered the kitchen, it was empty. He stood there all alone in the middle of the galley and wondered how things could have come to this. How could he have been so proud and arrogant as to not see what was coming? Because even Zoro had reached his limit at some point. And Sanji had pushed him too far. So he had no choice but to start the day alone. Just like he had always done. Why did it feel like the first time? Maybe because it was the first time Sanji had really become aware of the problem with his hand. How it had taken him twice as long to set the table. Or how, after several failed attempts, he managed to hold the pan in place with his elbow while preparing the scrambled eggs. He served the bread torn into pieces in a bread basket. Even washing his hands was a challenge. He was so bad at it that he almost didn't dare touch the ingredients.

A heavy sigh escaped him. He knew it was all pointless. With only one hand, he was unable to cook properly. He was completely useless. And while Sanji was lost in his devastating thoughts, the door to the galley creaked open. Once again, that little spark of hope reignited within him, but when he saw who had entered, it was immediately extinguished. – “What are you doing here so early?” asked Sanji, who decided that a cigarette would surely calm his nerves. – “The sun isn’t even up yet,” – Usopp scratched his head tiredly as he yawned. – “I couldn’t sleep. And when I saw that your beds were empty, I got up.” – It was obvious that Usopp was referring to Zoro and Sanji’s beds. Everyone else was still sleeping peacefully, as they should be. – “Where’s Zoro?” Usopp asked immediately, looking around the galley. But there was no sign of him. And he waited in vain for an answer. Sanji just took another drag on his cigarette and turned away from him. That was reason enough for Usopp not to pry further. He had a faint suspicion that something had happened that he'd be better off not getting involved in.

“Do you need help?” he offered instead, approaching the kitchen counter. He looked at the food Sanji had prepared so far and quickly realized that help was definitely needed. At the latest when his gaze fell on the botched bread. Sanji noticed this too and squirmed uncomfortably, as if his eyes were judging him. And then he remembered Nami's words. That they were a team. More importantly, that it was okay to ask for help sometimes. So Sanji swallowed his pride. – “You could cut a new loaf of bread,” he replied in a low voice, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray. Then he reached for the already full bread basket and looked again at the massacre. – “I'm sure I can still make breadcrumbs out of this. Or a good roast,” he sighed and put the basket aside again to let the bread dry.

Usopp watched silently, then flashed his biggest grin. – “Well then, let’s get to work,” he shouted, rolling up his non-existent sleeves. – “Have I ever told you the story of how I was an apprentice to the best-” – “Yes, I’ve heard that story,” Sanji interrupted him with a laugh. He was still very amused by the story. – “Well then, you know you can count on me!” – Sanji had no doubt about that. And having it pointed out to him once again filled him with warmth. Different from the warmth he felt with Zoro. But fulfilling nonetheless. – “But seriously,” Sanji watched Usopp as he picked up a bread knife and cut the bread slice by slice. – “Where did you learn to cook?” – Usopp stopped. He seemed to think about his answer for a moment. Or rather, about which lie would be best to tell in a theatrical tone. – “When my mother got sick.” – Usopp bit his lip uncomfortably. – “That’s when I started cooking for the first time. It was terrible,” – Usopp laughed. He liked to remember it, even though the loss of his mother had been painful. And Sanji could see it. More than that, he could feel it. Because it was too similar to his own story. – “But I got better. Because I believed that I just had to take good enough care of her so that she would get well again. Which she didn’t. And when I was left on my own, because there was no one else to take care of me, I had no other choice.“ – Sanji hadn't expected such an honest answer. After all, Usopp was known for his lively tall tales. – "And then Kaya got sick. I cooked for her a lot to find a reason to sneak into her room. Luckily, my cooking had gotten a lot better by then.“ – Usopp reminisced. In beautiful ones, judging by the sound of his voice. – “And I thought this time I had to succeed. Because the thought of losing someone so important – again – was too much to bear.”

“Do you miss her?” – Sanji didn’t know where that question had come from. But it burned in his soul. After all the time they had been away from home, would the feeling of longing ever fade? Sanji thought he knew the answer. Even if his situation was different from Usopp's. He had left behind someone he loved in a way that had nothing to do with the way Sanji loved Zeff. And as if Usopp knew what he was thinking, he laughed. – “Every day,” he replied with a smile, as if it didn't hurt. – “You don't?“ – ”What?“ – Sanji wasn't sure what Usopp was asking exactly. – ”Of course I miss Zeff. And the Baratie. And all the people I grew up with. Sometimes, in a weird way, I even miss my sister.“ – ”That's not what I meant." – Usopp's expression was unreadable. And at the same time, it was crystal clear what he was trying to say. But before Sanji could say another word, the galley door opened. – “Good morning!” Brook trilled through the kitchen as if they weren’t up at such an ungodly hour. – “I see you’re already hard at work.” – “Morning, Brook! Come and help us. It’ll be fun cooking together,” Usopp greeted him, pretending he hadn’t just poured his heart out to Sanji and that Sanji hadn’t done almost the same thing.

It was one of those moments when Sanji wondered who Usopp really was. What lay beneath that smile and the façade of lies. And what he had found there for a split second did not surprise him. After all, Luffy had taken him into his crew. – “I'd love to. I'm good at cutting vegetables. And I can make excellent tea for the ladies.” – “Only if you don't ask them about their panties afterwards.” – “Yohohoho!”

“It smells wonderful,” Sanji heard Robin's voice behind him as the sun rose and breakfast was being prepared on the table. – “You're right, my dear. I had some good kitchen helpers,” Sanji replied, pulling out Robin's chair so she could sit down. – “Kitchen helpers?” Nami's voice rang out immediately. – “Is your gorilla still sulking?,” she asked jokingly, reminding Sanji why he had needed Usopp and Brook's help in the first place. Until then, he had been successful in suppressing it. Now it hit him all the harder. And he wished he could play it off. But no matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn't come up with a teasing or condescending remark. This earned him a questioning look from Nami, which he simply smiled at and otherwise ignored. Just as he pulled back her chair, his heart almost stopped. Only to beat twice as hard in his throat a moment later. Simply because he noticed green fabric out of the corner of his eye. – “When are you finally going to take off that stupid rag?” – Nami’s annoyed voice made Sanji look toward the door. – “What's wrong with the coat? It's great! Besides, Zoro gave it to me!” – Luffy jumped into his seat with his usual energy and grabbed the first piece of fried bacon. In the meantime, the rest of the crew had also sat down at the table. Everyone except Zoro. – “Where’s he actually?” Chopper asked the group, clueless, glancing at Sanji. But he didn’t answer. – “He’s not coming,” Luffy mumbled with his mouth full, trying to keep the sleeves of his coat out of his food.

Sanji gritted his teeth in pain. – “What do you mean, he’s not coming?” Nami asked indignantly, banging her clenched fist on the table to finally get Luffy’s attention away from his food. – “What I said. He’s not coming.” – Luffy was unimpressed by Nami’s behavior. He didn't seem to care that a seat at the table would remain empty. – “I already understood that. I want to know why.” – “That's none of our business.” – Luffy had stopped eating. Coupled with his serious expression, this was worrying. It made Sanji's stomach feel heavy. – “That's why I want everyone to accept his decision and not question it unnecessarily.” – Luffy's gaze fell on Sanji. It was as if he wanted to say something to him with his eyes alone, something that no one else should hear. As if he was asking Sanji to do something without telling him what. As if Sanji could just figure it out for himself. But it was almost impossible to guess what was going on in their captain's muddled head. For some reason, though, Sanji seemed to have a premonition.

Nevertheless, he couldn't help but avoid Luffy's gaze. He began eating and tried to ignore the feeling of being watched. Breakfast washed over him like a fog. He hardly participated in his friends' conversations, instead lost in his own thoughts. He wondered what he could do to fix everything. How badly he had broken things between them. Whether there was anything left to save. So caught up in his thoughts, he didn't even notice that breakfast was coming to an end. Everyone cleared their dishes and the table, while Sanji sat there staring into space. Chopper and Brook did the washing up, and Sanji had no choice but to light another cigarette. The smoke rose before his eyes and his gaze fell on the golden lighter in his hand. The delicate engraving and the small, almost imperceptible dent that had recently appeared on it. Zoro had carried it with him for the last few days until he threw it at his feet with all his hope and disappointment. And Sanji wondered how many times Zoro had held it in his hand without lighting his cigarette. How many times he had felt it in his coat pocket, just as Sanji himself sometimes did. What it had cost him to let it go.

Sanji stood up abruptly from his chair. He marched over to one of the cupboards and took out a basket. – “What are you doing?” asked Chopper, putting down the plate he had just dried. – “I'm not going to let him starve,” Sanji grumbled to himself and threw some food into the basket. Sliced cheese, grapes, and onigiri that were still in the refrigerator. He scraped together some leftovers from breakfast that Luffy had graciously left behind and added them to the basket. Along with a bottle of sake. Sanji left the galley with the filled basket, determined to bring Zoro the food he had missed. But as soon as Sanji looked up at the crow's nest, he hesitated again. Was he really ready to face this? What should he say? Would Zoro even listen? Could Sanji voice the feelings that were tormenting him? More importantly, right to Zoro's face? – “Usopp!” – He couldn't. And Sanji was so incredibly ashamed of himself. But he couldn't do it.

“Take that up to the crow's nest,” said Sanji as soon as Usopp shuffled over. – “But Luffy said-” – “I know what Luffy said. But just because that moss head got his green nose out of joint, I'm not going to let him starve,” Sanji interrupted quickly, pressing the basket into Usopp's hands, who took it somewhat helplessly. Luckily for him, Robin joined the conversation. – “If you don’t mind, I’d be happy to take that,” she said. Sanji looked at her in surprise. – “No way! I’m not going to let a lady climb up there like a delivery boy,” Sanji protested immediately. Robin just smiled even wider. – “Don't worry. I was hoping to get a book from upstairs. It's really no trouble,” Robin replied, taking the basket from Usopp without being asked. Sanji seemed to think about it and decided it was smarter not to argue with Robin. So he nodded and let her go. But not without looking after her with concern.

Robin placed the handle of the basket over her forearm and, with the help of her devil fruit, made enough arms appear around the mast to form a perfect staircase. Step by step, she approached the hatch until she reached the top. She didn't miss the fact that Sanji was following her with his eyes every step of the way. Once at the top, she knocked on the metal. But there was no answer. That didn't stop her from opening it anyway, as the knock was primarily out of politeness. – “What do you want?” Zoro’s voice rang out immediately. It sounded gruff as always, without revealing what was really going on inside him. – “Our cook sent me,” Robin replied, charming as ever, pointing to the basket she was carrying. She had already entered the crow’s nest and closed the hatch behind her. She continued toward Zoro, who had crouched in one of the far corners, careful not to step on any of the numerous sake bottles scattered across the floor. – “Tch. As if,” Zoro grumbled, grabbing the neck of the bottle next to him and bringing it to his lips for a generous swig.

“What do you really want?” he asked again, knowing full well that Sanji would never send a woman to bring him food. He would rather let him starve. – “I wanted to check on you,” Robin confessed, setting down the basket. – “You checked, so you can leave now.” – Robin ignored Zoro’s dismissive words and sat down next to him on the floor, no matter how much he protested. – “You know what I meant.” – Robin’s voice was gentle, sincere, and understanding. Zoro could only snort in response. – “There's a big difference between how you say things and how you mean them,” he grumbled and took another sip. – “And lately, I don't seem to know the difference anymore.” – He had learned that lesson the hard way. And if he was honest with himself, he knew absolutely nothing anymore. Not what people meant, nor what they said. It had become one big puzzle for him. Because no matter what he thought he believed, he seemed to be wrong about everything. And in the end, all that was left were shards. Because he broke everything in his hands. No matter how carefully he tried to hold on to it.

“Is that the problem?” Robin asked, carefully but firmly taking the bottle from his hand. – “Wanting to say something but not knowing how? And meaning something for which you can’t find the words?” – Zoro was clearly not drunk enough to get into one of Robin’s philosophical conversations right now. In fact, he wasn’t even as drunk as he would have liked to be. And once again, he cursed his high tolerance for alcohol. Because that meant there wasn't enough alcohol on this ship to wash away his worries, at least for a moment. – “Listen, I'm not in the mood for this nonsense. So get lost.“ – Zoro's firm voice turned into something resigned. He sighed in resignation, knowing that Robin wouldn't leave no matter how many times he told her. – “Sanji is worried about you.” – “I doubt that.” – With the bottle out of reach, Zoro proceeded to bury his face in his hands. – “What makes you think that?” Robin asked, watching Zoro laugh joylessly. – “Because that damn love-struck idiot is only interested in two things. And that’s cooking and women. And as you may have noticed” – Zoro left the sentence unfinished, pointing at himself with one hand and still avoiding her gaze.

“And that hurts you because you want him to be interested in you?” Robin asked bluntly. A slight smile played on her lips, suggesting that this revelation was nothing new to her. And once again, Zoro noticed that Robin always knew more than she let others believe. Always a silent observer with a mind as sharp as the blade of his sword. – “That's ridiculous.” – It was an exclamation of protest and surrender at the same time. Because Robin's words had, for the most part, hit the nail on the head. And shame rose up in him, that it was obviously visible to others. Except for Sanji. – “There's no reason to be ashamed of that. But there's also no reason to hide away because of it.” – “And what do you think I should do instead?” Zoro replied angrily. – “Oh, I know! I have to face up to it. Get over it. Everyone is the architect of their own fortune, or some other bullshit! I'm tired of it! And I'm tired of listening to lessons from people who have no idea!” – Zoro was furious. So incredibly angry. And he let it out. In the form of words intended to hurt, just so he could feel better about himself. And it was a shame. Because that wasn't who Zoro was. And Robin didn't deserve it. But what those feelings were doing to him scared him. Because they were changing him. They made him doubt everything he had ever believed in. In himself.

Robin rose silently from her seat. Zoro thought he had finally managed to shake her off, but then she surprised him again. – “A samurai mourns with an open heart, but still stands tall,” she recited, moving further away from him toward the bookshelf. – “A samurai recognizes his anger, but does not let it control him,” she continued, pulling out a book and coming closer to him again. She returned his gaze. There was no resentment in her eyes, only understanding for what was raging inside him. – “Fear is a shadow. Walk through it and it disappears.” – With these words, she held out the book to Zoro, who took it with trembling hands. She smiled at him and turned to leave. But his attention was focused solely on the book in his hand. Zoro ran his fingers over the engraved title. He felt the leather of the cover. And for the first time, he understood what they were trying to tell him. In the only way he understood.

Zoro laughed. Not loudly, but sincerely. He watched Robin open the hatch and then looked back at the book, whose code he had lived by his entire life. – “Courage means doing the right thing, even when your heart is trembling.” – His gaze met Robin's again. With a final nod and an encouraging smile, she disappeared. Leaving Zoro alone with these words of wisdom. Because no one else could help him now. It was now entirely up to him how he tried to cope with things. And Robin really hoped that it had been enough to show him the way back in the right direction. But she was sure of that. Zoro was an honest man. He valued the code highly and would find the rest of the way on his own.

“Did he eat?” – Robin hadn’t quite reached the bottom of the stairs when Sanji came up to her. He tried to sound as indifferent as possible. But she didn’t miss the underlying concern in his voice. – “He will.” – Sanji would have liked to ask more questions. But he didn’t think it was appropriate to pester Robin. After all, he didn’t know exactly what the two of them had discussed up there. Whether it was even meant for his ears. But she had been up there for a long time. So they must have talked to each other. Maybe she had even tried to persuade him to leave the crow's nest. Sanji hoped so. But knowing Robin, that wasn't the case. She wasn't known for forcing anyone to do something they weren't ready to do. So all he could do was remain silent.

“He's fine” – Robin spoke as if she knew what was going on in Sanji's mind. She smiled encouragingly at him and went to join Nami, who had retired to her deck chair. Sanji watched her for a moment, then withdrew as well. He decided to catch up on some sleep from the previous night. Unfortunately, he was unsuccessful. And so the day passed him by. While Brook and Usopp stood by his side again at lunch, this time he sent Franky upstairs to bring Zoro a plate, who was again missing from their communal meal. And it was the same story at dinner. Sanji was almost desperate. He hadn't seen Zoro all day. And he was sure that the next day would be no different. And probably the day after that, and the day after that. Even though he hoped for something different. And that hope kept him awake. Like the night before, he tossed and turned in bed. He tried not to sigh too loudly or rustle the covers. Until he gave up and left the dormitory again, heading for the kitchen.

Cooking had always helped him when he was upset. This time would be no different. Sanji decided on a simple dish that would distract him but wasn't too complicated to think about. So he cooked a portion of rice and prepared some vegetables. He didn't bother cutting them neatly at this late hour. So he ignored it and got a pan ready. Cooking fried rice wasn't difficult, but when he added the vegetables, he felt the pan sliding back and forth on the stove. He fixed it in place with his elbow. He added the rice and his grip on the pan became shaky. Sanji cursed himself and his hand. His left hand clenched around the spatula. He couldn't fail at something as simple as fried rice.

Sanji added the eggs after pushing the rice aside and let them sit for a moment. Then he set about mixing everything together. His movements were practiced, but unsteady. The pan wouldn't stay in place, forcing Sanji to grab the handle with his right hand. He immediately regretted it when a sharp pain shot through his hand and he pulled it back in shock. The pan began to sway, the spatula bumped against it as he reached for his right hand with his left, and the pan fell. It hit the floor with a loud clatter, scattering the uncooked rice across the floor. – “Damn it,” Sanji cursed quietly and knelt in front of the pan. He looked at the pan in disbelief. The rice and every single grain was scattered across a large area of the floor. – “Damn it,” he cursed again. He let go of the spatula, which also fell to the floor. – “Damn it,” Sanji’s voice sounded choked.

He hadn't meant to do that. All the food was ruined. A complete waste. Sanji couldn't believe it. Why did everything he touched go wrong? He couldn't cook. He couldn't even cut bread. He disappointed everyone who relied on him. He had even managed to scare Zoro away. He was terrible. A terrible cook and an even more terrible friend. He was useless. That's why Zoro had left him. Left him here alone so he could feel that he was nothing without him. And Zoro was right. He finally understood. So why didn't Zoro come back? He should just come back.

Sanji slumped deeper into himself. – “Damn it,” he muttered again. He felt like a complete wreck. And he deserved it. – “Damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it!” he cursed repeatedly as his fist hit the floor. Rice grains were crushed beneath it, leaving a mess behind. Sanji fought back the tears. He really didn't deserve anything else. He was sure of it. And there was no reason to get up off the floor in the middle of this cruel night. So he stayed there, mourning the spoiled food and the missed opportunity to do the right thing.

Sanji didn't know how long he sat there. But if gray eyes were watching him, he didn't notice.

Chapter Text

The next morning dawned far too quickly for Sanji. Like the night before, he had hardly slept and was now shuffling back to the kitchen, still tired. Before Lysop and Brook would join him in cooking, he had some time to prepare everything. He decided to set the table, because he felt bad contributing so little to the rest of the preparations. Especially after the minor mental breakdown he had suffered during the night. Sanji tried not to think about the ruined rice he had meticulously collected and then put in a bowl, which now stood unnoticed in the corner on the counter. He couldn't even bear to look in that direction. It reminded him too much of how he had lost his composure just a few hours ago. And how much he had racked his brains over what to do with this half-finished dish that he had scraped off the floor. In the end, he would probably eat it himself. It wasn't as if it was the first time he had eaten off the floor. Besides, he took great care to ensure that the kitchen was always clean from floor to ceiling. So it probably wouldn't make much difference whether he ate it off the floor or out of the pan. For a moment, he considered feeding the rice to the seagulls. But he was pretty sure that wasn't a good idea. He didn't know much about birds, but rice didn't seem like the right food for a seagull. Especially with all the spices he had put in it.

However, Sanji had other concerns at the moment. Even when Lysop and Brook entered the kitchen, he did not have time to think about it. As before, they cooked together until the rest of the crew entered the galley and sat down at the table one after the other. Only when everyone had started eating did Sanji return to the counter and took the kitchen towel off the plate with the rice, intending to eat it for breakfast. But when he looked into the bowl, he couldn't believe his eyes. – “Who ate the rice?” Sanji asked, placing the unfolded kitchen towel next to him on the counter. None of his friends responded, but Sanji already had his suspicions. – “Luffy! Have you been in my kitchen again without permission?” he exclaimed, and Luffy looked up from his plate of scrambled eggs. – “It wasn't me,” he replied with his mouth full, spitting some of the egg into the air, which made Nami recoil in disgust. – “Then I’ll ask again. Which one of you was secretly in my kitchen eating this rice?” – All of his friends looked around questioningly. No one seemed to be aware of any guilt. – “Maybe it was Zoro” – As if that wasn’t completely crazy, Luffy had said that. – “I saw him on deck last night,” he explained further. He shoved a spoonful of rice that was far too full into his mouth. – “I was actually looking for something to eat. But he just shooed me away and sent me to bed.” – Luffy stopped eating for a moment. – “Come to think of it, that was pretty weird,” he mused aloud, but then just shrugged and continued shoveling food into his mouth.

Sanji couldn't respond. Because if what Luffy said was true, then Zoro had been watching him. He had seen what a mess he was without him. Unable to cook even the simplest meal. And yet he had eaten it anyway. Zoro had eaten that unfinished and probably inedible rice. For whatever reason, Zoro had crawled out of his hiding place and gone into the kitchen. Probably in search of more alcohol. Only to end up watching Sanji's miserable attempt at cooking. And despite everything, he had made the decision to eat the meal, knowing that Sanji would never bring himself to serve it to one of his comrades voluntarily. The thought that Zoro knew this and had done it anyway, even though they were currently at each other's throats, made Sanji's heart beat faster. He felt the telltale heat rising within him and knew that his cheeks had turned a deep red.

God, what he would give right now to see Zoro. To thank him. Not with words, but with an extra glass of sake at lunch. A larger portion of rice, which he would defend with his life against Luffy. With a look that said it all. But he wasn't going to get that chance. Not at breakfast, and not at lunch. And that made Sanji uneasy. He didn't know what Zoro was doing up there all day. And Sanji wasn't able to just go up there to check on him. To see for himself how down Zoro still was. Whether he was still angry and what Sanji could do to make it up to him. Because he wanted to. He wanted to make it right so badly. He wanted everything between them to be like it was before. He wanted Zoro near him. He wanted to bicker and argue with him. He wanted to kick his ass, just so Zoro would draw his sword in response. He wanted to feel the warmth of his skin on his own. He wanted to feel his rough hands massaging his fingers. To brush a strand of hair from his face.

Sanji couldn't take it anymore. It was too much. Sanji had to see him. He just had to. And nothing would stop him. So, as always, he prepared a basket. He filled it with all the things he knew Zoro liked and went back to the deck. Franky was already waiting for him there. They had agreed the day before that he would bring the food upstairs. With his extendable arms, it was the easiest way to do it without disturbing Zoro too much. Whatever he was doing up there. But this time, Sanji wasn't going to let it get that far. Even if he still wasn't ready to face it, if he was honest with himself. But procrastinating didn't make any sense either. So Sanji had no choice but to swallow the lump in his throat and finally get it over with.

Franky took a few steps toward him and was already reaching for the basket when Sanji stopped him. – “I'll do it myself today. You just have to get me upstairs,” said Sanji, holding the basket out of reach. Franky just raised his eyebrows. – “I'm afraid I can't do that for you,” he replied, lowering his hand again. – “You can. Now go, before the sandwich gets soggy.” – Sanji walked past Franky, unwilling to take no for an answer. But Franky seemed just as unwilling to give in. – “Sanji, none of us are allowed up there. Luffy made that clear.” – “I don’t care what Luffy said,” Sanji snapped back too loudly. It was entirely his fault that Zoro had barricaded himself up there. So it was nobody else’s business if he took matters into his own hands. Only he could solve this problem. And Luffy had no say in the matter. – “But you should. He’s our captain. And what he says is law.” – Sanji couldn’t believe that Franky was standing up to him like that. It should be in everyone’s best interest to get Zoro out of the crow’s nest. So why were they standing in his way?

“Lucky I'm a pirate. It wouldn't be the first law I've broken,” Sanji said, turning away from Franky again. If he didn't want to help him, he would find a way up there himself. No matter how much it would strain his battered hand. – “That would be mutiny. And you know it,” Franky called after him, hoping to stop Sanji. – “I don’t care!” – But even that wouldn’t stop him from getting to Zoro. And when Franky realized this, he had no choice but to physically stop Sanji from going any further. Words seemed to be useless. So Franky grabbed him by the shoulder, turned him around, and tried to take the basket from him. – “Don't make me use force,” Franky said, his eyes clearly conflicted. He didn't want to start a fight over such a trifling matter. But he also couldn't allow anyone to disobey the captain's orders. – “Then let go,” threatened Sanji, holding on to the basket with an iron grip. – “Not until you calm down and promise you won’t try to get into the crow’s nest.” – These words only seemed to provoke Sanji even more. His eyes burned with fire. The will to fight if necessary. Even against his own comrades.

“Don't make me kick you,” Franky held his gaze. But he knew he couldn't win against Sanji. Not when he was driven by emotion and had a goal in mind for which he was willing to take any risk. So Franky was left with the only thing he knew would stop Sanji. – “Robin! Nami!” he shouted as loud as he could across the deck, without taking his eyes off Sanji. Nami was the first to come out of the orange trees onto the deck, closely followed by Robin. – “Get in Sanji’s way,” was all he said to the two women, and he let go of Sanji. Not a moment too late, Nami and Robin positioned themselves near the mast, blocking the way to the crow's nest. Franky knew that Sanji would never use violence when a woman was standing in front of him. And even less so when it came to Nami and Robin.

And Franky was right. Sanji was caught completely off guard when he saw the two standing in front of him. He would have much preferred to face an army of marines. – “Sanji, what’s going on?” Nami asked first, not yet sure what the reason for the dispute was. But she could see the desperate look on his face, which gave her an idea of what it was. – “He's trying to get into the crow's nest. Even though Luffy forbade it,” Franky replied when Sanji made no move to speak. Why should he? He didn't stand a chance against the two of them. And he cursed Franky for exploiting the only weakness he had. – “Please,” Sanji finally said. Much more gently now. – “Get out of my way.” – He took a step toward the women. He looked almost pleadingly into Nami's eyes, who could only avert her gaze. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her lower lip between her teeth. – “You know we can't do that,” she replied, pity in her voice. – "Let Franky bring the food upstairs as agreed and let it be. He'll calm down and come downstairs when he's ready." – Nami now came toward him. She tried to approach Sanji to grab him by the arms. To calm him down and gently lead him from the deck into the kitchen. But Sanji resisted. He pulled away from her touch and put distance between them again.

“I just want to talk to him.” – Sanji didn’t raise his voice. Not towards a woman. But the way he said it expressed his displeasure and anger enough. So much so that even Nami could feel it. – “And Luffy forbade it. No one is going up there.” – Nami now spoke with more emphasis. As much as she felt sorry for Sanji, seeing how he was suffering, she also saw how irrational Sanji was acting. She understood that he was upset. But he was so blinded by his emotions that it was impossible to talk to him. – “Then why was Robin allowed to?” – “That’s different.” – “Why?” – Nami searched for an answer. Even if she knew, she didn’t dare say it out loud. She didn’t know how hard it would hit Sanji. But she couldn’t lie to him either. She was his friend, but that was exactly why she had to be honest with him. No matter how much it hurt. Because that's what friends were for. To bring those friends back down to earth. To make them realize the consequences of their actions.

“You know exactly why,” – Sanji laughed joylessly. – “Of course. Because it’s my fault he’s up there in the first place. That’s why I’m the only one who can get him down. But thanks for reminding me.” – “Only Zoro can decide whether he comes down. Give him time and he’ll find his way,” Robin interjected, seeing how Nami was struggling with herself. And she could understand why. She also wanted Zoro to come back down to them. She wanted the waves to calm down and the peace they needed as a crew to return. But she also firmly believed that Zoro had to want it himself. Without anyone persuading him or disturbing his thoughts. Some might consider this hypocritical of her. After all, she was the only one who had spoken to him, apart from Luffy. Who certainly had no intention of stopping Zoro from doing anything. Let alone questioning his actions. He thought too highly of Zoro for that. And Robin was no different. Which was why she wanted to talk to him. Not to talk him out of it. Or influence his decisions. Just to get him to not just wallow in his heartbreak. But instead to think about how he could overcome it. What it would take to move on. And how he planned to deal with it in the future. Also to think about what he wanted for his life, apart from becoming the best swordsman.

But Sanji couldn't see that. No one blamed him for that. Not when he felt the way he did. Guilty and desperate. – “That moss ball would get lost in a shoebox. How is he supposed to find his way down? I just want to help.” – Why didn't anyone understand? How could his comrades, of all people, stand in his way? Didn't they also want Zoro to finally come back to them? To finally be part of their everyday lives again? Or was he the only one who missed him so much? – “He must know that I'm sorry!” Sanji shouted much louder this time. In the hope that Zoro could hear him. So that he could finally say what he should have said long ago. But no matter how hard he scanned the crow's nest, there was no sign of green anywhere.

“What's going on here?” – “Luffy!” – He would be his salvation. He was the only one who could call his comrades back. Luffy had to understand. If Sanji could only make him see that he needed to talk to Zoro, he would let him go upstairs. – “I need to talk to Zoro.” – Luffy tilted his head and looked at each of his friends. – “But he doesn’t want to talk to you.” – Those words hit Sanji harder than he wanted to admit. He controlled himself so as not to show how painful it was to hear that. And he had no choice but to remain silent. – “He doesn’t want to talk to anyone. That’s why we’re leaving him alone.” – “But I can get him to come down from there.” – Luffy just shook his head, holding his straw hat in place. – “He has to do this alone. And he explicitly asked to be left alone for a few days. He was even more explicit about not letting you go up there.” – Sanji couldn’t believe it. He looked at his friends, who were all avoiding his gaze. It was almost as if everyone knew this fact except Sanji himself.

“I just wanted to apologize,” Sanji said, his hand still holding the basket, beginning to tremble. He swallowed hard and struggled to compose himself. – “You can do that when he gets back,” replied Luffy, who seemed completely unaffected by Sanji’s distress. – “But until then, the captain’s word is law. No one goes up there.” – Those were Luffy’s final words. Words that no one was allowed to question or disobey. Sanji understood that too. Which is why he had to admit defeat. With his hand still trembling, he put the basket down on the floor and turned away from his friends. – “I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me,” he said, admitting defeat and putting a cigarette between his lips. None of his friends said anything. They let him walk away without a word until he disappeared into the kitchen. What else could he do? Zoro didn't want to see him. He had even given orders to keep him away. Sanji had messed up terribly. With his own battered hands. All he wanted was for things to be the way they used to be. Maybe even better. But in the end, he could be glad if Zoro even looked at him anymore. When Sanji couldn't even bring himself to look in the mirror anymore. He couldn't believe how incredibly stupid he had been. He had talked himself into such a rage that he hurt Zoro. More than once. He had done it again and again. Not caring how Zoro must have felt. He had wronged him, and this was the consequence. The consequence Sanji deserved.

He buried his face in his left hand in despair. The cigarette had long since burned down to the filter and was still hanging from his lips, without him having actually taken a drag. That didn't stop him from lighting the next one. And the next. And the next. He had lost count of how many there were in the end. The ashtray was already overflowing when Lysop and Brook entered the galley. No one said anything, as they had surely noticed the drama on deck. Instead, they began to prepare dinner. At first without Sanji's help, until he could bring himself to get up from his chair and take his place in the kitchen, where he did what he did best. Cooking. At least as best he could. But it was enough to chase away all the thoughts that were tormenting him for a brief moment.

Only to be hit even harder at the start of dinner. The oppressive silence was far too loud to ignore. The mood was depressing. Except for Luffy, who was happily shoveling food into his mouth as if he hadn't eaten in days. He seemed to be the only one who had already forgotten the chaos on deck. Or maybe he just didn't think it was important enough to worry about. Robin also ate quietly as if nothing had happened, even though you could see she felt sorry for Sanji. Nami, on the other hand, was clearly tense. She was still struggling with guilt, even though she hadn't done anything wrong. But she couldn't shake the thought that she had been a bad friend to Sanji. So much so that after dinner, she approached him. Placing her hand on his shoulder again, she looked at him apologetically. – “I'm really sorry,” was all she said, and she left the galley, just like the rest of the crew, except for Lysop and Franky, who were taking care of the dishes.

Only when they too left the galley could Sanji breathe again. He finally felt he had escaped the reproachful glances he had imagined. He reached into his pocket again to take out a cigarette, even though his lungs were already burning. But it was the only thing that could distract him. Until he was sitting there again, cigarette after cigarette, staring into space. Occasionally letting his gaze wander around the room until it lingered on Luffy's chair. With a familiar piece of green fabric draped over the backrest, Sanji felt his stomach turn. Luffy had obviously left Zoro's green coat there after dinner, and now it was mocking Sanji. He didn't even know why Luffy had been carrying it around with him. More importantly, why hadn't Zoro asked for it back long ago? Probably because he, too, had that soft spot for their captain that all of them had.

It made Sanji smile, and he slowly rose from his chair. He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray and approached Luffy's seat. Hesitantly, Sanji placed his left hand on the fabric and immediately breathed a sigh of relief. The familiarity of the fabric finally loosened the unpleasant knot in his throat. And for a brief moment, he could imagine that Zoro was actually there with him. That he wasn't hiding from him and avoiding him. But this feeling didn't last long. It disappeared almost as quickly as it had come. Sanji picked up the fabric and pressed it tightly to his chest. He hoped that one of his friends wouldn't come running into the galley and catch him clinging to Zoro's clothes like a pervert. Feeling the fabric and desperately burying his face in it. In his desire to take in Zoro's scent, he was only disappointed. Instead, he smelled the scent of fried meat and sweat that didn't belong to Zoro. This coat definitely smelled like Luffy. And the smoke from the cigarettes he had smoked in the galley over the last few hours. And he shouldn't have been surprised. Luffy had rarely taken it off and otherwise guarded it like his straw hat. Which made Sanji wonder if it was one of his quirks to collect other people's clothes.

But no matter how much the coat reminded him of the wrong person, he couldn't let it go. He remembered the moments when he had worn it himself. What a comforting warmth it had given him. How safe and protected he had felt. Because it felt like Zoro was with him. Even if he wasn't. Which only made the pain worse. It made him feel the emptiness that Zoro's absence had left behind. It brought tears to his eyes and made his knees go weak. His body tensed and his mind clouded over until all that remained was the thought of what he longed for most. So much that it consumed him. His heart was pounding so fast and hard that his ribs hurt, while his stomach tried to push the last remnants of dinner back up his esophagus. Sanji hadn't felt this way in a long time. This level of despair and longing that even his body reacted to.

And it was all Zoro's fault. Because he had made him feel something for him. Fall for him so deeply that his absence left a void that Sanji could no longer fill on his own. A void that hadn't been there before. One that Zoro had carved into his heart with his own hands without Sanji even noticing. Zoro had taken advantage of his vulnerability. Showing a side of himself that there was no reason to show. He was the reason he was hurt. The reason it had come to this in the first place. It was Zoro's fault. All his fault. And now Sanji was supposed to suffer for it. Because he had left him with these feelings. He had let him go, completely helpless. But Sanji was just starting to understand. He just needed some time. Time that Zoro hadn't given him. And now he didn't even want to talk to him anymore. Didn't want to hear what he had to say. But he wouldn't let it get that far. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of hiding from what was weighing on Sanji. That damn gorilla would listen to him! Whether he wanted to or not.

And Sanji wasn't going to waste any more time. Not strong enough to endure another night with these thoughts, he stormed outside. He threw the coat carelessly over the chair. It was pitch black on deck, except for the few lamps that were burning but still didn't provide much light. Sanji was breathing heavily, though he didn't know why. The short sprint hadn't been enough to take his breath away. But his chest felt tight. As if there was no room left for his heart. And with the last bit of air he had left, he screamed it into the sky. – “You stupid moss head!” – Two more heavy breaths and Sanji looked up. He could see that the light was still on in the crow's nest. – “You're such a damn idiot! Hiding up there like a coward!“ he continued to shout, not caring if anyone else but Zoro could hear him. – “You don’t even have the guts to tell me to fuck off to my face!” – Sanji was running out of air. But he still had so much to say. He had to get it out before it swallowed him whole. – “I expected more from you! You said you’d stay with me as long as it took!” – The last words were swallowed by the lump in his throat. Sanji felt hoarse. His throat burned from the effort of shouting so loudly until Zoro finally heard him. – “And now you don’t even want to hear what I have to say? What bad luck for you! Because you might be able to hide up there! Keep me from seeing you! But you can’t shut me up!” – He didn’t know how much strength he had left before his voice gave out. But Sanji didn’t give up. – “That's why I'm telling you now! I'm sorry! Are you satisfied? Is that enough for you to finally come down?”

Still breathing heavily, Sanji looked up, hoping to finally see a sign of life from Zoro. Even if he just threw a sake bottle at him. He just needed him to show some kind of reaction. But Sanji waited in vain. – “I knew it,” he said to himself, trying to fill his lungs with air. Of course, a simple apology wasn't enough anymore. They were way past that point. And Sanji didn't know what to do. He didn't know what else he could say to make it right. – “You're a damn liar!” he shouted angrily, his despair mixing with his rage. – “You said you'd make it up to me! That you would help me!“ – What difference did it make now, in the darkness of the night, to pour out his heart? No one would hear him anyway. – “You know I can't do this without you! I need you!” – The anger boiled inside him until his eyes burned. Tears glistened in the corners of his eyes and his hands trembled with tension. Sanji didn't want to give up. He couldn't let this go. – “You promised!” – But he had lost. The last bit of strength in him was gone, and all that came out of his mouth was a muffled sound. Zoro hadn't heard him. Didn't want to hear him. No matter how long Sanji stared stubbornly at the sky.

Defeated, he turned away. With trembling fingers, he reached for a cigarette and brought it to his lips. He tried not to think too much about how the lighter in his hand had ended everything. He brought it to the other end of his cigarette and placed his thumb on the ignition wheel. He turned it once, then twice. But it didn't light. A third pitiful attempt. Sanji despaired. Even his lighter had now abandoned him. It was as if everything around him was cursed. After the fourth attempt, Sanji was about to throw it away in anger when a hand moved into his field of vision. His eyes followed the movement, feeling rough fingers touch his skin and gently take the lighter from his hand. And with the first attempt, the flame of his lighter ignited and Sanji looked up. He saw Zoro's face, who returned his gaze expressionlessly. He just stood there, holding the flame to his cigarette and waiting for Sanji to light it.

Smoke rose between them without either of them saying a word. All Zoro did was extinguish the flame and put the lighter back in his own pocket. Then he walked wordlessly past Sanji toward the dormitories. Sanji watched him for a moment. He took a deep drag on his cigarette, which hurt in his lungs. But he didn't care. Zoro was back. And that would be more than enough for now.

Chapter Text

It was strange. Everything was supposed to be the same as before. And yet everything was completely different. After Zoro had finally come down from the crow's nest the night before, Sanji couldn't help but hope. Hope that it had been enough. That Zoro could put it behind him, just like Sanji was trying to do. But what Sanji hadn't counted on was how Zoro had changed. No longer watching Sanji's every move. No longer three steps ahead. Not courteous and gentle. Instead, he only lent a hand when asked. Sanji's shirt needed to be buttoned, Zoro waited to be asked. Sanji needed help cutting the bread, Zoro waited to be asked. Sanji wanted the table set, Zoro waited to be asked.

Zoro wasn't avoiding Sanji. Nor did he seem intent on seeing him fail. But at the same time, he kept remembering Sanji's words. That he had never asked him to do this. So he had no choice but to put it to the test. To only take action when Sanji asked him to. And at the same time, to take care of the things he had neglected over the past week. Like his swords, for example.

While Zoro sat at the kitchen table in the galley polishing his sword, Sanji sat across from him. He was flipping through a cookbook, looking for inspiration for dinner. It seemed as if they were ignoring each other as they went about their business. But Zoro couldn't help glancing at Sanji out of the corner of his eye every now and then. Watching him take a drag on his cigarette and tap it on the ashtray. Watching his forehead wrinkle when he lingered on one of the pages a little longer. Or how the fingertips of his right hand twitched, which otherwise rested motionless on the table. And Zoro knew that it must hurt him. He didn't know if Sanji had even bothered about it in the last two days. But if not, that wasn't Zoro's concern. After all, Sanji was old enough to take care of himself. He had told him that often enough.

That's why Zoro continued to take care of his swords. He polished the blade of Wado Ichimonji with a cloth and enjoyed the peace between them. It relaxed him so much that he let his guard down. Which was probably the only reason he didn't notice Sanji watching him as well. At the same time, Sanji was fighting an internal battle that he didn't show on the outside. He was torn between what he wanted to do and what he didn't dare to do. The atmosphere between him and Zoro was tense, albeit calm. Sanji wanted nothing more than to talk to Zoro. After all, that had been his primary goal. But he also wanted to feel the affection he had been shown over the past week. To feel the rough skin caressing him. Coupled with words that told him everything would be fine. Because he was there. Because Zoro was with him. In a tone that sounded like a promise.

But no matter how hard Sanji tried to bring himself to take the first step, knowing that Zoro wasn't going to do it, something was holding him back. And it wasn't hard for Sanji to know what it was. Pure cowardice. He just didn't had the courage to say what was on his mind. To finally come clean, too afraid of rejection. Because Sanji still couldn't be sure how badly things had broken between them. Maybe it was already too late to even try to fix it. To ever fix it again. And maybe Sanji had lost the only thing he had ever wanted for a long time. And he couldn't even blame Zoro for it. But saying something now that could make things even more complicated between them was crazy. Sanji wasn't ready to take that risk. So all he could muster was to slowly move his right hand across the tabletop until it came to rest close to Zoro.

Zoro took his eyes off his sword. Only to glance briefly at the hand in front of him. He paused in what he was doing, then immediately ignored it again. He continued polishing his sword and paid no further attention to the hand in front of him.

Sanji cleared his throat. – “Zoro.” – Zoro didn’t look up from his sword. – “Yes.” – Sanji shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Gathering a little more courage. – “My fingers.” – “What about them?” – Zoro not looking at him made Sanji feel uneasy. He couldn’t read him. He didn't know if he was just pretending not to know what he was getting at. Or if he was trying to avoid the subject, hoping that Sanji wouldn't have the courage to ask. And if that was the case, then Sanji certainly wasn't going to do him that favor. Sanji took a deep breath. – “Massage them.” – Finally, Zoro looked up. And his gaze instantly made Sanji shrink a little. – “Please.” – There was silence between them. Even a pin dropping could have been heard. Until Zoro actually put his sword back in its sheath with slow movements and laid it aside. Together with the polishing cloth.

He carefully took Sanji's hand in his and began to massage each finger in circular motions. Just as he had done before. Sanji was just able to stop himself from breathing out contentedly and, above all, with relief. He didn't want to destroy the moment between them by breathing too loudly. He didn't move a muscle, and it was quiet between them again. Sanji didn't know what else to say to finally lighten the mood. So he said the only thing he could think of.

“I need to go see Chopper later.” – Sanji waited a moment for a response. – “Okay.” – But it wasn’t what he expected. No question about what he was there for. Or how he was doing. Whether his hand hurt. It was as if Zoro had completely shut himself off from what Sanji was going through. As if he was only there to support him and not so much to make amends. Because Zoro was limiting himself to the bare minimum. Which should have made things easier for Sanji. After all, that was what he wanted all along. It was what he had accused Zoro of. Why did the air suddenly feel thinner now that he was doing what was expected of him?

“He wants to take another look at my wound.‘’ – Zoro still didn’t look up. His eyes fixed on the hand in front of him. – “Mhm,” he acknowledged wordlessly. And Sanji cursed himself for being such an idiot. What else could he have answered? Of course Sanji was on his way to him to look at his hand. What else would he be doing at a doctor’s office? He felt ashamed and decided it was better to keep his mouth shut before he said something else stupid.

Sanji couldn't say exactly how long they sat there. But Zoro didn't stop until he would tell him. And because Sanji no longer trusted his own words, he remained silent. He much preferred to enjoy how Zoro touched him. That he was doing it again at all. And for a brief moment, he could imagine that everything was fine again. That he hadn't made a huge mistake that he had to fix as quickly as possible. It was the perfect opportunity to pretend that the biggest hurdle wasn't still ahead of him. But the steady ticking of the clock disturbed his fantasy. It let him know that his time was slowly running out.

That's why he slowly withdrew his hand from Zoro. But not without running his fingertips along his skin once more and perhaps holding on a little too long. Zoro also withdrew his hands. He was the one who finally broke the contact between them and then leaned back in his chair. Sanji opened his mouth to say something. But every word immediately stuck in his throat. He wanted to say it. He wanted it so badly. To finally break the silence between them. Not with empty phrases. Not with meaningless words. He wanted to say something that carried weight. To pick up on what stood so heavily between them, as if they were separated by oceans. But once again, he couldn't muster the courage to do so.

“I have to go now,” he cleared his throat and rose from his seat. He stood there for a moment, unsure what to do. He hoped that Zoro would get up too. But nothing happened. So Sanji turned away from him. He walked around the table and toward the galley door. Cursing himself for being such a coward, he raised his hand to the handle. He wanted to open it and just walk out. And then something grabbed him.

“Aren't you coming?” he asked without really turning to Zoro. – “Do you want me to come?” Zoro asked in return. Still leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He looked at Sanji again with that look. A look that said nothing, yet carried a challenging glint. Sanji returned it, wanting to seize the spark of courage that had just gripped him. And he nodded. – “Chopper will worry,” he squeezed out. – “Besides, he won’t let me off the hook if you don’t keep an eye on me,” – Sanji tried to make a joke. To bring back some of the lightheartedness that had been lost between them since the incident. But Zoro didn’t laugh. He just stood up and grabbed his swords to tie them around his hips again. Where they belonged.

With one hand on the hilt, he approached Sanji. He stopped in front of him and took the door handle in his hand to open it. He gave him a nod to go ahead and followed him silently. And Sanji could feel him. His constant presence made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Even more so because Zoro never walked beside him. He always stayed behind him, as if protecting his back.

Only when they arrived at the infirmary did Sanji get another glimpse of him. He stepped forward and opened the door for him again. Sanji went inside and put on his best smile for Chopper. He didn't want him to think that something was bothering him, even though it was. Even if Chopper knew him well enough to see through that smile. – “Hello, Chopper. I’m right on time for our appointment,” he greeted him and sat down energetically on the stretcher where he knew Chopper would examine him. – “Hello, Sanji. Hello, Zoro,” Chopper greeted them back and immediately turned back to Sanji. – “How are you? Any complaints?” he asked, already starting to remove the bandage. – “I'm feeling great. I'm not in any pain and I don't have any other complaints,” Sanji replied conscientiously. Without really meaning to, his gaze wandered back to Zoro, who was leaning casually against the wall as usual, watching what Chopper was doing.

“I'm glad to hear that. I think we've already gotten through the worst of it. I'll take a look at your wound and check the numbness in your fingers again,” Chopper explained. He threw the old bandage in the trash and prepared a new one. He also grabbed some disinfectant and a needle, which Sanji recognized from the last examination.

Sanji just nodded and let Chopper examine his hand more closely. He moved his head closer again to look at the edges of the wound and disinfected his hooves before touching anything. – “That looks very good. The wound has closed well and is almost completely healed,” he said, then picked up the needle between his hooves. – “I'd like to test your feeling and pain sensitivity again to make sure everything is really okay.” – Chopper took Sanji's hand in his other hoof and placed the needle on it. – “Please look away and tell me if you feel anything.” – Sanji nodded and raised his head. He confirmed every now and then when he felt something or when it hurt when Chopper pressed the needle harder. All the way up to his fingertips. – “It's a little dull, but yes, I can feel it,” Sanji mused when Chopper asked once more, then looked back down at his hand.

“Very good. That means the massage helped. Give it a few more days and everything should be back to normal.” – Sanji breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing that he would not suffer any lasting damage had weighed more heavily on him than he had realized until that moment. Zoro also seemed to let out a deep breath when he heard this. It seemed that he had been worried too. Which was understandable. Considering that he still blamed himself for the incident. How would he feel if it meant that Sanji would be limited in his passion forever? Neither of them really wanted to think about that.

“It looks like we'll be able to remove the stitches soon. I'd wait another two days, then we'll meet again for another check-up. And if everything still looks good, I'll take the stitches out,” Chopper smiled happily and applied a new bandage. It wasn't quite as thick as the previous one, but it provided enough stability to ensure that nothing would touch the wound. – “Was that everything?” asked Sanji, jumping off the stretcher with relief. – “Yes, that was everything. Keep taking good care of yourself and we’ll have this behind us soon.” – Chopper looked at Zoro as if he wanted to direct his words more to him. Sanji noticed this but said nothing.

They waved goodbye to Chopper and left the infirmary. “Phew! That was that,” Sanji said more to himself, sticking another cigarette between his lips. And without saying a word, the flame of his lighter appeared in front of his nose, as always. Which was strange. Because that was the only thing he never had to ask Zoro for. It was almost as if the cigarette in his mouth was request enough. Sanji lit the tobacco and Zoro put the lighter away. He followed him back to the kitchen and stood there, watching Sanji as he stood at the counter and gradually took some of the pots out of the cupboards. – “Are you setting the table?” he asked without turning to Zoro. – “If you want me to.” – Sanji paused in his movement. He had been doing this all day. Yet it still caught him off guard. This new habit of questioning everything. Making sure that it was what Sanji wanted. No longer reading him like he had done before. As if Sanji had suddenly become a sealed book.

And he had only himself to blame for all of it. It was the only thing he couldn't lie to himself about. Because he had ruined it himself. Because he couldn't appreciate what Zoro was doing for him. Instead, he pushed him away and created a distance between them that hadn't even existed before the accident. Because they couldn't even argue anymore without every word feeling like a stab in the heart.

Zoro still hadn't moved. He was still waiting for confirmation and only took a step when Sanji finally nodded. He walked over to him and stood next to him. So close to his back that Sanji could almost feel his breath on his neck. Zoro opened the cupboard above them and easily took out a stack of plates, then moved away from Sanji again. As if that moment between them had never happened, he began to set the table and paid no further attention to Sanji. Sanji also tried to push it aside and instead prepared everything for the meal. He took all the vegetables he would need and the bread out of the drawer. He placed the pots and pans on the stove and put the meat from the refrigerator next to them.

Just as he turned back around, he saw Zoro standing there again. Without moving, he looked over to him. The table was already set, and he seemed to be waiting for further instructions. Like a good soldier who was not allowed to think for himself. And as Sanji looked at him, it almost made him angry. He saw all the potential Zoro had and, at the same time, how he was limiting himself because of a few careless words. All just to give Sanji what he wanted. Or what he thought he wanted. Because this wasn't it. He didn't want to tell Zoro what to do. He didn't want Zoro to leave behind everything that made him who he was just because Sanji threw a tantrum.

Where had this man gone who had stood up to him? Who had provoked him with a single glance and challenged him to push himself to his limits, just as Zoro did? Why couldn't he just go back to being his old self? That damn, uncouth, irritating gorilla. For whom the blade spoke louder than any words ever could.

Sanji couldn't bear to watch any longer and turned away. He picked up the knife next to him and began cutting the vegetables into uneven strips. This would have been one of those moments when the old Zoro would have rushed over to him. Without a word, without a request, he would have grabbed the pepper and held it firmly. He would have been his right hand, just as he had promised. A part of him so that Sanji no longer had to doubt whether he was still capable of cooking. But Zoro still just stood there. He didn't move a muscle and watched Sanji almost despair over the vegetables. He tried the next slice and slipped. He cut right through the bell pepper, followed by a muttered curse.

The knife landed with an angry thud on the wood. The sound was sharp and dull. But it was enough to make the atmosphere in the kitchen noticeably cooler. Sanji exhaled shakily. He tried to keep his nerves together as he turned around. – “Can you do something else besides standing there looking stupid?” he asked tensely. He didn't want to sound as angry as he was. But his displeasure was clear. – “What do you want me to do?” Zoro replied. The epitome of calm. He hadn't even flinched when the knife hit the wood. It was as if he had been expecting the dam to break at some point. – “What do I want? Are you serious?” asked Sanji, still holding the knife. His fingers clenched painfully around the handle, his knuckles turning white. – “I want you to be useful. Think for yourself without me having to dictate everything to you,” he blurted out. And even before his words had left his mouth, he realized how contradictory it was to what had triggered their last argument. And now he was standing there again. Like the crazy one of the two of them. Which he probably was, because he just couldn't bring himself to finally say what he really thought. What had been burning in his soul since the moment Zoro had first reached out his hand to him.

With steady but slow steps, Zoro approached him. – “Isn't that what you wanted? For me to give you air to breathe?” – There was something mocking in the way he said it, without changing his voice. He even used the same words Sanji had shouted at him. At least as bitter, just as hurtful. – “Or can you really just not make up your mind?” he continued, finally standing in front of Sanji. – “I could ask you the same question!” Sanji growled back at him. And, very uncharacteristically, he raised the knife. Not with the intention of threatening, but out of reflex, to point it at him. – “You're the one who suddenly started acting like this!” he shouted, swinging the knife through the air. And before he could say another word, Zoro had lunged forward. He held his wrist in a firm grip and looked down at him. – “You dare to wave a knife in front of my face?” he whispered dangerously. His face was close to Sanji's. – “Don't you know what happens to those who show me their blades?” – Zoro's voice was deep. Threatening. So much so that it gave Sanji goose bumps. Because it reminded him too much of what had happened on deck. – “Especially when they’re in hands like yours?” – And Sanji prayed so hard for it to happen again. For Zoro to simply take what Sanji would give him so willingly. To capture him again, with no intention of letting him go this time.

But for the eternity of a breath, nothing happened. Only Zoro's intense gaze. And his hand, which took the knife from his fingers and rammed it forcefully into the wood of the cutting board. – “You really don't know me at all,” he whispered again, his gaze wandering to Sanji's lips. His words were final. As if it were the last thing he would ever say to him. And Zoro wanted to move away from him. Let go again, because there was no point in holding on to him. – “Zoro” – It was nothing more than a whisper. The last, pitiful attempt to prevent it. Hoping that he understood, even if he didn’t have the courage to say more.

Sanji lowered his gaze. He couldn't bear to see the look Zoro might be giving him. Whether there was rejection there. – “Look at me,” Zoro said quietly. But Sanji couldn’t. He squeezed his eyelids shut so tightly that he saw dots in front of his eyes. – “Curly.” Sanji shook his head. Whatever Zoro had to say, he should get it over with. But Sanji couldn’t look him in the eyes. – “Sanji” – Without meaning to, his gaze rose. He tried desperately to remember when Zoro had ever really called him by his name. But every thought of it vanished when he looked into his face. He felt the presence of a hand close to his own face. Hanging indecisively in the air. Uncertain whether he should really touch him. Hesitant. Zoro's other hand on the counter behind him pushed Sanji further back. Testing whether he would avoid him or welcome him with open arms. And Zoro's voice grew darker. – “Tell me to stop,” he said, coming even closer to Sanji. His hand now on Sanji's face. Fingers pressed into his cheek while his palm pressed down on his jaw. – “Say it.” – Zoro’s voice was rough, strained. As if he were fighting a battle with himself. A battle that only Sanji could decide. And it vibrated in his chest. The words were so heavy that he could hardly breathe.

“Don't,” whispered Sanji breathlessly. Zoro's fingers twitched back. Almost letting go of him. – “Don't stop,” he breathed, and before the last syllable had left his lips, Zoro took him in. Kissed him with the same fervor as last time. So hard that Sanji's upper body was pushed back over the countertop. With one hand on his face and the other around his waist. Sanji's own hand found its way into green hair. Tore at Zoro. Pulling him closer, and he returned the kiss. Moaning unrestrainedly into it. Creating equal pressure and pressing his chest against Zoro's. He felt his lips ache, just like his back. But nothing could stop him from kissing Zoro with the same devotion he desired.

And as if Zoro had noticed, his hands let go of him. Only to wrap themselves tightly around his legs. He briefly interrupted the kiss to lift him onto the countertop. With a hasty movement, he pushed the cutting board aside, sending it, along with the knife and bell pepper, into the sink next to it. Without paying any further attention to it, he pressed his lips back onto Sanji's. With a smile, or so Sanji thought he recognized.

Zoro's hands went wandering. They pulled at the tie that now lay crooked around Sanji's neck. Tore off a button from his shirt, which fell carelessly to the floor. And Sanji did the same. He tugged at Zoro's coat. Buried his hands underneath it. Anything to finally feel skin. Running along the spine of that flawless back to rest in his neck again and pull at his hair with scratching fingernails. To pull him closer to him again. Just like his legs, which wrapped around Zoro. Legs that held him captive. Powerful and desperate at the same time. Because he wanted to feel every inch of that body. To say all the things he didn't dare to speak.

And Zoro heard every single word. He responded by moving into the touch. He broke away from Sanji's lips and kissed his jaw. Down his neck, sinking his teeth into the soft skin. Sanji moaned again. He pulled harder on the green coat until it slipped off Zoro's shoulder. Two strong arms wrapped around his body. Holding him tight, as if to keep him from breaking apart completely. The air between them was thick. Electrified by every hot breath they took.

Sanji didn't know how long it had been going on. And he didn't really care. It was too wonderful to lose himself in it and give Zoro everything he craved. To let him take what had been consuming him for so long. But this feeling came to an abrupt end when the door to the galley suddenly opened. Sanji didn't even know how he noticed it in his intoxicated state. All he knew was that, out of reflex, he pushed Zoro away and kicked him in the side to put more distance between them.

With wide eyes, Sanji looked toward the door and saw Nami standing there, returning his gaze. Blinking, she took in the scene before her. Without saying a word, but with a grin on her face, she walked back out and closed the door behind her. Surprised, but not astonished, at what a beautiful turn things had taken.

Chapter Text

Nothing had changed. The atmosphere between them was as tense as before, albeit in a completely different way. After Nami had caught them red-handed in the kitchen, there was only awkward silence. They had finished dinner without really exchanging a word. Only the bare minimum, while Nami watched them over her food with a knowing look. They were silent even when they went to bed. At the same time, something had changed. The way Zoro handed him his clothes or opened doors for him. No longer waiting for every command, but also not anticipating everything as before. It was different, but enough for Sanji to feel that sense of security he had been missing. That little spark in Zoro's eyes when he looked at him a moment too long, whenever he thought Sanji wasn't noticing. It was enough to drift off into a relaxed sleep that had eluded him for the last few nights.

But by the next morning, enough was no longer enough. Because Sanji felt that they were still distant, despite what had happened in the kitchen. Because there was one more thing standing between them. And Sanji racked his brains trying to think of how to bring it up without sinking into the ground in shame. Because as much as he longed for it to happen, he still couldn't quite grasp what it meant. What exactly were they? Did they really feel the same way about each other? And what would they tell their friends? Would they say anything at all? Was it something Zoro really wanted to reveal to others?

All these questions were eating him up. They left him standing there absent-minded while Zoro closed his shirt. Tied his tie and carefully adjusted the collar. Took care of the buttons on his sleeves, which he was finally able to button up again thanks to the thinner bandage. All without looking Sanji in the face or noticing the question marks written there. Only when Zoro took a few steps away from him did Sanji snap out of his thoughts. He looked into Zoro's eyes, which were fixed on Sanji's shirt, searching for a mistake. – “Zoro,” Sanji’s voice sounded rough. Insecure. Zoro looked up and waited for what Sanji was trying to say. Two more heartbeats passed before he found the courage. – “My shirt,” he tried to say in a firm voice, his hand playing with the hem of his shirt. Zoro didn't answer. He wasn't sure if he understood correctly, even though he thought he knew what Sanji wanted. Because he couldn't see any other mistake in how his shirt was buttoned or how his collar sat. There was only one possibility. But he couldn't bear to just reach out his hand and bridge the distance between them, only to be wrong.

“I'd like to-” – Why the hell couldn't he get a straight sentence out? Why did Zoro's gaze make him feel so insecure? As if he might refuse his request. His whole body was on fire. Just the thought of how close they could be if he could only finally say it made his heart skip a beat. – “Pants,” he swallowed hard, giving little away. But it was enough for Zoro to snort with laughter. As if he was relieved by what Sanji said. And without another word, he came back toward him. Placed his hands on Sanji’s waist. Moved them up in one strong motion until they reached his rib cage. As if he were taking advantage of the opportunity to touch him. For a brief moment, Sanji couldn't breathe. He held his breath and let himself be led a little further toward Zoro's chest. He raised his arms to make room for Zoro's and felt them wrap tightly around his body. Hands grabbed the hem of his shirt and let it disappear into the waistband of his pants without much haste. He felt hands on his backside and hot breath on his ear. And before he could think about whether he had the courage to do it, he leaned forward. His chest against Zoro's and his face in the crook of his neck.

Sanji closed his eyes and concentrated only on the hands touching him. Lingering a little longer in one spot or smoothing his shirt more than necessary. He buried his face deeper in Zoro's neck. Thought he felt goose bumps when he exhaled contentedly and heavy. His nose brushed Zoro's skin, his own hands relaxed, searching for support on his shoulders. – “I'm sorry,” he whispered against the skin. – “What for exactly?” Zoro asked, not even pausing in his movements. – “That you kicked me last night? That you yelled at me on deck? Or the kiss?” – Zoro leaned his head against Sanji's. Savoring the feel of his soft hair against his cheek and taking in the scent that was so unmistakable. Of fresh herbs, oranges, and a hint of cigarette smoke. – “All of it,” he replied, tightening his grip on Zoro’s shoulders. – “Except the kiss,” he added quietly before Zoro had a chance to pull away from him again. – “I just got so startled,” he tried to explain. He didn't want to leave something so important unsaid again. He didn't want to make Zoro feel that it hadn't meant anything to him. That he didn't suffer just as much when he wasn't with him. – “And I just didn't know-” he continued, without knowing where his words were leading. Because there was so much he wanted to say but couldn't find a way to make it make sense. – “What if- We never-” – Sanji was talking himself into a frenzy and Zoro broke away from him. Not far, but far enough to look him in the face. To finally silence him with a single glance.

Without saying a word, Zoro placed two fingers under his chin. Tapping it gently upward, that Sanji's head fell slightly back. He leaned toward him and tentatively placed his lips on Sanji's. Without much pressure. Just a fleeting touch. Sanji relaxed instantly. He returned the pressure, his left hand clawing at the green fabric. Like wax in his hands, Sanji sighed. He felt the difference between the wild kisses they had shared before and this feather-light touch. He felt Zoro's soft side, which clung to him like a second skin. It surrounded him and turned the blazing fire inside him into a shallow flicker.

Zoro let go of him again. A crooked smile played on his face. – “It's okay,” he whispered close to Sanji's lips. – “You kick like a girl anyway,” he laughed afterward and did well to quickly take cover. He finally let go and dodged the kick Sanji had swung at him. – “You damn-,” Sanji began to curse, then paused again. He looked at Zoro, who was smiling mischievously, and couldn’t help himself. Sanji joined in the laughter. More restrained than Zoro, but no less sincere. He didn’t even know what exactly he was laughing about. Only that it was contagious to see Zoro like this. And that was enough for him.

“Come on, Blondie. The kitchen's waiting,” Zoro laughed quietly to himself and held out his hand to Sanji. Sanji took it and let Zoro lead him out of the room. Behind him, all the questions that had been weighing on him. The heavy feeling of missing out on something. The pain of not knowing what was between them. For now. Zoro didn't let go until they reached the kitchen. He held Sanji's hand and their fingers intertwined. Even when Sanji stopped in front of the counter, he didn't move away. – “You need to let go,” Sanji laughed, but made no move to let go of Zoro either. – “I’d rather not,” Zoro whispered. His voice was dark and captivating again. Sanji quickly turned away from him before it became too dangerous. Because he didn’t trust himself. He knew he could lose control if Zoro looked at him with such desire in his eyes for another moment. – “I really have to get breakfast ready now,” he replied, embarrassed. He heard Zoro snort amusedly beside him, as if he knew what that look was doing to Sanji.

Zoro let go and headed for the cupboards where the plates were kept. – “I'll set the table,” he announced and immediately went to work. Sanji watched him for a moment and took a deep breath. He really had to concentrate. He had work to do here. And Zoro was clearly too much of a distraction for him. But he still wouldn't banish him from the kitchen. And if the food was saltier than usual today, what could he say . – “Do you need any help?” asked Zoro, who stood next to Sanji again. He looked over his shoulder as he cracked some of the eggs. – “For one, you could stop distracting me,” Sanji replied without turning his head. – “Second, it would be nice if you started cutting the vegetables,“ he continued, pouring the cracked eggs into the preheated pan. – ”And wash your hands," he reminded Zoro. Because it was something he always had to remind him of.

“What about you?” – “In a minute,” replied Sanji. Pretending he hadn’t forgotten either, he continued stirring the pan. Zoro nodded and washed his hands. He dried them carefully with a clean kitchen towel and picked up one of the kitchen knives. He began preparing the vegetables while Sanji finished the scrambled eggs. He couldn't help but glance over at Zoro. He watched him briefly as he cut the carrot into fine, thin strips. – “You've gotten surprisingly good,” Sanji remarked, continuing to stir the pan. – “It's actually good practice,” Zoro replied, his gaze focused on the knife. – “For what?” – “Precision. Body control. The finesse of handling a smaller blade.“ – Zoro came over to him and took the pan by the handle. He lifted it off the stove and held it over the plate where Sanji was sliding the egg with the spatula. – “I'm glad you were able to learn something for life in my kitchen.” – “Wouldn't be the first time.”

Surprised by these words, Sanji turned his head toward Zoro. He met that look again, which seemed like a stubborn stare to everyone else. But Sanji had seen it so often in Zoro that he immediately recognized it for what it was. Truth. Sincerity. It was as if Zoro was opening himself up to Sanji so that he could take everything he desired from his heart. Even if it was his heart itself. – “The spatula.” – “What?” – “You dropped the spatula.” – Sanji looked down at the floor. And sure enough, there it was. He had no idea how or when it had happened, but it had simply slipped out of his hand. It had hit the floor without him noticing. – “Damn,” he cursed softly and knelt down to pick it up. Zoro’s hand on the edge of the countertop to prevent Sanji from bumping his head. When he was back on his feet, he could see that Zoro already had a crooked grin on his lips again.

“Nervous?” he asked teasingly, taking a step back to make room for Sanji. – “Keep dreaming,” replied Sanji, placing the spatula in the sink. He immediately held his left hand under the tap and looked at Zoro expectantly. – “My hand,” was all he said. – “What about it?” – Sanji rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. He knew Zoro was doing it to annoy him. At the same time, he tried hard not to smile. – “Wash.” – “What’s the magic word?” – Now Sanji was also snorting with amusement. – “Right now,” he said emphatically. Zoro took a few steps toward him and turned on the tap. The water instantly enveloped Sanji’s hand, was pushed down a little by the pressure, and splashed a few drops onto the countertop. – “Not very nice,” Zoro finally said and turned off the water. – “Since when are we nice to each other?” Sanji asked, looking at their hands. Zoro began to spread some soap on his hand. – “Who says we can’t start now?” – Their fingers intertwined again. – “You don’t like nice,” Sanji replied, gently returning the pressure. – “You’re right,” Zoro mused, then fell silent. He also looked down at their intertwined fingers. – “How about respectful?” – “Respectful sounds good. I should be able to manage that,” Sanji replied with a smile.

They remained like that for another moment until Zoro turned the water back on and freed her hands from the soap. And the whole time, Sanji couldn't shake that smile. Basking in the teasing and peaceful atmosphere they shared. Just like it used to be. Only so much better. They had rediscovered a dynamic that Sanji feared they had lost. But there it was again. Playful fighting, interrupted only by fleeting moments of tenderness. By stolen glances and laughter behind closed hands.

“All that's left is the bread,” Sanji announced happily when they had finally finished their preparations. Zoro immediately went and got a loaf from the drawer, along with the bread knife. He handed it to Sanji and placed the bread on the cutting board. Fixing it in place with his own hand, he waited for Sanji to start cutting the slices. He hesitated briefly, but then changed his mind. What was he waiting for? It wasn't the first time they had cut bread together. The only difference was the sudden closeness between them. The heat coming from Zoro as he took a step closer to him. His free hand on Sanji's waist and his head resting on his shoulder. – “I'll cut off one of your fingers,” Sanji joked as he cut slice after slice. He was deliberately alluding to the effect Zoro's closeness was having on him. – “I can take it,” he replied, pulling Sanji closer to him. – “I don’t need all my fingers to fight.” – “Of course not. You’re actually convinced that you don’t even need your feet for it,” Sanji replied, remembering that experience with less than fondness. Zoro didn’t respond, as if he didn’t know what Sanji meant, and continued watching him cut.

They enjoyed the moment of peace between them for a little longer before Sanji heard the galley door open. – “Good morning,” Usopp greeted them sleepily, and Sanji took a step to the side. He put a noticeable distance between himself and Zoro, which immediately earned him a questioning look from him. Sanji lowered his head slightly and immediately put on a less than convincing smile. – “Morning, Usopp. Tea?” he asked, trying not to sound caught. Usopp tilted his head as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He took a searching look at the scene in front of him before shrugging his shoulders and walking over to the kitchen table. – “Not right now. But thanks.” – Sanji turned back to the bread and tried to ignore Zoro, who was still staring at him. – “Bring that to the table,” was all he said to him, pressing the plate of scrambled eggs into his hand. Zoro took it, confused, and did as Sanji said.

Little by little, the galley filled up with their comrades, who all sat down at the table. Conversations began, the clattering of dishes could be heard, and laughter rang out now and then. Only Zoro and Sanji were still standing in the kitchen. Zoro tried to bridge the distance again and put his arm around Sanji from behind, who immediately dodged him. – “Not in front of the others,” he whispered, glancing quickly at the kitchen table. He made sure that none of their friends could have seen anything. But none of them seemed to be paying any attention to them. Only Zoro’s attention was focused on him, and he shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. – “Not yet,” he whispered reassuringly and handed him the filled bread basket. He made sure their fingers touched, giving Zoro some kind of reassurance. Because as long as Sanji wasn’t sure what was going on between them, he didn’t want to appear as if there was more in front of their friends. – “Sanji! More meat!” he heard Luffy’s voice, far away. It broke that last moment of intimacy between them, and Sanji got up. He sat down at the table without waiting for Zoro.

Breakfast briefly took Sanji's mind off things. Except when Zoro reached for him every now and then. Pressed his knees together. Tapped his foot against Sanji's. Or touched his hands. As if to make sure Sanji didn't forget him. Was constantly aware of his presence. And Sanji was aware of it. How could he forget it when Zoro drew attention to himself like that every time? Until late in the evening. After a day filled with furtive glances. Always looking for the other's presence. Seeking warmth. Finding it in the touches they shared in hidden corners. Tenderness they only allowed when no one else was around.

“I'm hitting the hay,” shouted Luffy, yawning and jumping up from the chair he had been teetering on just a moment before. – “Good night, Captain,” said Sanji as he left. Took a drag on his cigarette and immediately flicked the ash into the ashtray. – “Night,” grumbled Zoro, who was busy clearing the dishes. The galley door slammed shut much too loudly, leaving Zoro and Sanji alone. Neither said a word as they were lost in their own thoughts. Only the occasional clattering of dishes and Sanji's hissing exhalations whenever he released the smoke from his lungs could be heard. It was peaceful to spend time like this in the galley. With the sun already gone below the horizon, they were the only ones still awake. But Sanji also felt the exhaustion in his bones. He yawned tiredly and leaned back in his chair. Not a moment too late, as Zoro was already coming back toward him. Having finished washing up, he held out his hand again, which Sanji gladly took. Zoro pulled him to his feet only to pull him closer to him again. – “What was this about earlier?,” he asked darkly. His voice was rough and his eyes were fixed on Sanji's lips. It was the first time he had mentioned it now that they were safe from unwanted listeners.

Sanji couldn't answer. Because that would mean finally addressing what hadn't yet been clarified between them. The question of what they now meant to each other. But Sanji's silence seemed enough to reignite Zoro's fears. – “Are you ashamed of me?” he asked, brushing a stray strand of hair back from Sanji's forehead. – “No,” Sanji replied hesitantly, even though it was the truth. – “I just don’t know if I’m ready for it yet,” he confessed. – “Ready for what? What are you afraid of?” – So many things, Sanji wanted to reply. He was afraid of what was between them. He was afraid that he was imagining it. Even more afraid of losing it again. Afraid of what their friends would say. And afraid of what it could destroy. Sanji had existential fears that he didn't know how to explain to Zoro. And just as Sanji was about to try, Zoro pulled away from him again.

“Come with me,” he said, leading Sanji out of the galley. For a moment, he thought Zoro was taking him to the dormitories. But after a few steps, he realized that wasn’t the case. – “We’re going the wrong way,” he remarked, pulling Zoro gently back by the hand to get him back on the right track. – “Are you already getting lost on the ship?” – Zoro shook his head without stopping. He pulled Sanji further behind him. – “Trust me.” – And Sanji did. Blindly. Because when Zoro asked him to, he had no other choice. He would probably have followed him to the end of the world just so he wouldn’t let him go again. That's why Sanji let everything else happen. He let himself be led to the shroud until Zoro knelt down in front of him. – “Jump on, princess.” – Sanji growled and climbed onto Zoro's back, of course accidentally kicking him in the leg. Zoro just laughed and got up again as soon as Sanji was safely on his back. He continued toward the shroud and began to climb up. Sanji didn't question what exactly they were doing in the crow's nest at such an hour. He simply trusted Zoro, as he had asked him to. Until they reached the top and Sanji climbed down again. He looked around the crow's nest to search for the reason they had come. But Sanji found nothing.

“What are we doing here?” he asked, still looking around. – “Whatever you want” – Sanji turned to Zoro, who slowly put his arms around him. – “We're completely undisturbed here. No one can see us. No one can hear us. And most importantly, no one can just burst through the door.” – Zoro smiled at him again. Not a crooked or teasing smile. Not one meant to provoke him or start a fight. It was just a gentle lifting of the corners of his mouth, without a trace of his white teeth. – “Zoro.” – “Yes?” – “What are we doing here?” Sanji asked again. He looked into Zoro’s eyes, searching for an answer to a question that meant so much more. – “Isn’t it obvious?” Zoro replied. He placed a feather-light kiss on the corner of Sanji’s mouth. – “Not to me,” Zoro’s expression became more serious. His forehead wrinkled and he seemed to be thinking hard about his next words. Almost as if he hadn’t quite grasped the meaning behind Sanji’s. – “Okay. Let’s say I had to explain it to a slow-witted, stubborn cook,” he began. He tightened his grip around Sanji’s body. – “Then I would say,” he drew it out, intending to create tension. – “We do what we feel like doing. Wherever the wind takes us.” – “That’s a terrible answer,” Sanji laughed and wrapped his arms around Zoro’s neck.

“That doesn't make it any less true,” replied Zoro, without joining in the laughter. He just leaned forward again to seal his lips with Sanji's. And no matter how terrible that answer was, it was all Sanji needed to know right now.

Chapter Text

It was pitch black in the crow's nest. Apart from the lanterns on deck, which provided a small source of light. Enough to see where their hands were wandering or where kisses were being placed. The mood between them was heated. Burning bodies seeking each other. Skin meeting skin. And the soft sound of breathing.

Zoro slipped two fingers under Sanji's tie. He loosened the knot and finally undid the buttons of his shirt. In calm and controlled movements. Quite unlike Sanji's hands, which were stroking Zoro's shoulders in a hectic and frantic manner. Tugging at his coat, without having the courage to pull it off him. They stumbled a few steps as Zoro pushed him back. He didn't even have a destination in mind. He didn't know where this was leading or how far they would go. But what he did know was that he needed more space. More opportunity to finally touch Sanji the way he had wanted to all the times he had had to control himself. – “Lie down,” he whispered between two kisses. Grabbed Sanji's tie again and pulled it through his collar until he let it fall carelessly to the ground. Sanji didn't react. Didn't even seem to understand what Zoro was saying to him. Was so taken by the lips that held him captive and the fingers that danced across his skin. – “Curly,” he growled again. Almost threateningly, but with tenderness around every syllable. Withdrew from another kiss and looked down at him with lowered eyelids. It was enough for Sanji to regain a brief moment of clarity. He heard the name Zoro always used when he provoked him. Teasing him by never saying his real name. As if he didn't grant him that respect. Only this time, Sanji heard something in it that he had never noticed before. At the same time, he realized that it had always been there. Every single time Zoro called him. Sought his attention. Told him something with a single word. Like an epic he shared with him. A code word that only they knew. And only they knew its meaning. Like a promise. It was like a pet name. It was a pet name.

How could Sanji have missed that all this time? How could he not see how much feeling he put into it? How much affection? The absurdity of it all made something boil up inside him. Hot and almost shameful. Almost made him laugh. – “Are you still with me?” Zoro suddenly snapped him out of his trance. Only now did he realize that he was just standing there, not responding to what Zoro had said. – “Always,” whispered Sanji. He gave another fleeting kiss to Zoro’s lips, who smiled into the gesture. As if Sanji hadn’t just revealed something so profound to him. As if it were the most normal thing in the world to share this affection. Even more important to put it into words.

They separated again and Zoro pushed him back a step by his shoulders. Putting distance between them, which made Sanji raise his eyebrows questioningly. – “Wait a second, “ Zoro reassured him immediately, leaving no doubt that he would be right back with him. That he wasn’t trying to escape. To withdraw from this moment and make one of Sanji's greatest fears come true. He simply opened his red obi in one fluid motion and let it fall to the floor. Right next to Sanji's tie. He took his swords in his hands and laid them down more carefully. Then he slipped his coat off his shoulders. Exposing more of the skin that Sanji so desperately wanted to touch. Knowing it would burn hot beneath his fingertips. Already sensing how it felt. With every pore and every scar. With every tiny hair. Sanji swallowed hard. He still didn't know what Zoro was up to. He didn't really want to question it, even though his mind was on a roller coaster ride all on its own. But when he suddenly started to take off his clothes, a faint inkling arose in him. A premonition that only made him feel hotter under his collar. His pulse as fast as if he were running a marathon. His eyes unfocused and wild, wandering over the naked skin until sweat broke out on his hands. Because he didn't know what to expect. Because he never believed that this was what awaited him. Worse still, because he didn't know what was yet to come. What Sanji didn't expect, however, was that Zoro would immediately swing his coat behind him and then spread it out on the floor beneath him.

“You get cold quite fast,” he explained, holding out his hand to Sanji. – “That’s not true,” Sanji protested, trying to ignore his nervousness and allowing Zoro to guide him backwards toward the floor. Onto the spread-out coat, on which he immediately sat down. – “So why the goose bumps?” Zoro asked teasingly, running his fingers over the exposed skin of his chest. There, where the goose bumps were conspicuously visible. It made Sanji tremble and he shook his head briefly. As if he wanted to shake off the shiver that had overcome him. – “That's not-” he stammered, averting his gaze. He searched for words, hoping to find them, knowing full well that they were useless. Zoro laughed softly. – “It's okay,” he whispered again before pressing his lips to the skin of his collarbone. Sanji sighed contentedly. He let his hands rest on Zoro's shoulders again and caressed the warm skin beneath his fingers. He enjoyed how Zoro's own hands opened the last buttons of his shirt and then disappeared down his sides behind his back. Pressed himself against Zoro's chest, panting. His legs wrapped themselves around Zoro's waist as if by themselves. Holding him captive and close to his body. Zoro kissed his way down his neck. Murmuring whenever Sanji's fingers pressed harder into his skin. Pressing into the muscle beneath with a force that Sanji no longer seemed able to control. Until he let out a suppressed groan that sounded like pain. Zoro flinched and grimaced briefly, almost imperceptibly. Sanji, startled, looked down at his hands and the place where they rested.

“What the-?” – With more force than intended, he sat up. Bumping his head almost against Zoro's, who managed to dodge and also sit up a little. – “What is that?” he asked incredulously, running his left hand carefully over the large bruise that stretched across Zoro’s left shoulder. The bruise shimmered in bright colors. Greenish to yellow shades mottled the edges, marbling into a dark blue center. The tissue underneath was hardened in some places, and this time Zoro did not shy away from the touch, even though the muscle in his shoulder twitched briefly – “It's nothing,” Zoro tried to distract him, reaching for Sanji's hand to take it in his own. The bruise had a strange shape. Oval and round at the bottom. Until it faded into fringes at the top. It looked familiar to Sanji. He stared at the bruise until it dawned on him what the shape meant. – “That’s a footprint,” he said in shock, causing Zoro to close his eyes resignedly, knowing where this was going. – “Like I said, it’s nothing. I’ve survived worse,” he assured Sanji, his voice calm and gentle. – “That’s my footprint,” Sanji stated more clearly this time, determined not to let the matter rest. How could he, when Zoro was wearing something on his body that screamed so loudly that he too was vulnerable? Something that Sanji himself had placed there. – “Curly, calm down. Nothing happened.” – He certainly didn’t want to get into another argument about who was to blame, which would lead nowhere anyway. He would much rather return to what they had been doing before. Forget what it had taken to get to this point. Stop thinking about how much they had hurt each other in the past.

“You call that nothing? I could have broken your shoulder,” – Sanji was upset. He grabbed Zoro by the face. His fingers pressed into his cheeks. So hard that his lips pursed – “And Chopper would have fixed me again,” Zoro tried again and took Sanji's hand away from his face. Placed a kiss on his palm. Then on the tip of each finger. Sanji blushed at how devotedly Zoro did it. At how his lips felt on his skin, which he had just felt on his own. Only to immediately place his hand on his chest and hold it there with his own. – “So calm down,” he added. Still calm. He understood how much it meant to Sanji. How much it weighed on him that he, too, was capable of hurting Zoro. The fact that he had done it. Along with the words he had thrown at him. – “That’s easy for you to say. I didn't mean to-" – Sanji could feel every one of Zoro's heartbeats. How they pounded quickly against his ribcage. The only indication that this closeness was affecting him too. It made Sanji understand how Zoro felt. How Sanji could make him lose his mind with a simple touch. It made him realize once again what Sanji meant to him. What Sanji was capable of doing. How far Zoro would let him go without fighting back. And even though Sanji wanted to deny it. Deep down, he knew the answer, the truth. He had already tried to put it into words. The question inevitably arose, did he really not mean it? After all, during their fight on deck, it had been his clear intention. Sanji had attacked him to hurt him. To push him away. Without a thought for what his kicks might do. Even though he knew how powerful they were. How many opponents he had already brought to their knees with them. He didn't want to hurt Zoro. Not really. No matter how much they fought each other. No matter how fervently they fought and waged war against each other.

“It's not the first time,” Zoro admitted. As much as he wanted to finally put this behind him, he had to make it clear to Sanji that there was nothing wrong with it. All the wars they had fought against each other had left their mark on both of them. It was the way of the world that every blow, every kick had consequences. Even for Zoro – “What?” – As if it were the first time the thought had crossed Sanji's mind, he looked at Zoro. His eyes almost begging for forgiveness. Seeking his gaze, unable to hold it. – “Don’t tell me you never noticed how many bruises I have on my body because of you?” he asked. Silence spread between them as Sanji couldn’t understand how he hadn’t noticed it before. Why he had never bothered to really look at Zoro. To see what they were doing to each other. – “Why didn’t you say anything?” – Sanji’s voice no longer sounded angry. It was much quieter and smaller. As if Zoro could launch into a tirade at any moment and accuse him of being irresponsible. And Sanji wouldn’t even hold it against him. – “To give you the satisfaction? No way,” Zoro laughed instead. Proving that he was anything but angry. On the contrary, in fact. He seemed to see it as an incentive to bring back the familiar lightheartedness. To tease Sanji and remind him that this was the way they were. That this was what made it work between them in the first place – “That will never change. And don't you dare hold back in our next fight.”

“Our next fight?” Sanji replied in surprise, raising his head again. He searched Zoro's gaze for something that suggested anything other than the truth. Anything that made his words seem like empty phrases. – “Of course. Don’t think that just because our relationship has changed, I’m no longer willing to show you which one of us is stronger.” – Zoro’s grin was teasing. In any other situation, it would certainly have sparked a new argument. But all Sanji could do was snort derisively. – “You really are a uncouth gorilla,” he laughed. Finally calmed down. – “Who fights their own boyfriend?” – Before the words had really left his mouth, he realized how they sounded. What he had expressed with them. What his words implied. – “Boyfriend?” asked Zoro, still teasing. As if he wanted to finally get the truth out of Sanji about what could be between them. But Sanji just raised his hands defensively, nervous beads of sweat forming on his forehead. – “I mean, boyfriend friend. Like in- We are friends, after all.” – “Sure,” Zoro replied with a grin. While Sanji lowered his gaze, embarrassed, giving Zoro enough opportunity to bury his face in the crook of his neck again. Pushing Sanji carefully back onto his back and letting the matter be.

Sanji welcomed this with open arms. Otherwise, he would surely have continued to talk himself into trouble. More meaningless words would have left his lips, which he truly wanted to use for better things. And Zoro did well to distract him. He took possession of him again with his lips and hands. He played with the skin on his chest. He traced every contour with firm movements. He grabbed him by the hips and pushed him to the ground. Held him there while he moved his own hips in circular motions against Sanji's. As if the conversation between them had never happened, as if it had never broken the heated mood, Sanji found his way back to the thick fog that had been his mind just a moment ago. His hands also sought the feel of skin. Feeling the muscles beneath. Burying his fingers in them and moaning with desire whenever Zoro rubbed against him again, agonizingly slowly. Scratching his chest in excitement. Wandering further along his rib cage. Searching for something to hold on to, which he found on Zoro's back and clung to. Sanji dug his fingernails firmly into the skin. He drew a deep, throaty growl from Zoro, who in turn dug his teeth into Sanji's neck – “Oh God,” Sanji cursed breathlessly. Because his whole body was electrified. Because the stinging pain in his neck was coursing through every fiber of his being. And his fingernails dug deeper into Zoro's skin. But he wanted to let go. He had to let go. He couldn't risk causing even more damage. Ending up leaving welts on a place that was like a sanctuary. But his body no longer obeyed him. It took several agonizing seconds before he was actually able to pull his hand back and finally hold it away from Zoro's back. He was too afraid of losing control and destroying the only thing that was more important to him than his honor itself – “I didn't mean to- I'm sorry,” he stammered chokingly. How badly had he ruined it now? How angry would Zoro be? Sanji hadn't wanted this. – “Don’t let go,” he breathed heavily into Sanji’s ear. He grabbed his hand at the wrist and guided it back to his back. Deeper toward his spine. He moved into the touch so that his hips jerked forward again in arousal.

“You're the only one who can hurt me like this,” he continued. His words were muffled and hot through the skin he was pressing against. His grip tightened around Sanji's wrist. Almost trembling - “Because it's always belonged to you” – Zoro worked his way up to his ear. He bit tenderly on his earlobe and traced the contours of his ear with his lips – “ Yours to protect. And yours to hurt.” – Sanji let out a whimper. He dug his nails firmly into Zoro’s back again and didn’t let go this time. – “They are the only marks on my back that I would wear with pride” - Zoro’s other hand wandered to Sanji’s face. He held it carefully so as not to scare Sanji away. He looked into his eyes, which gazed back at him with a transfigured expression. – “No matter what others say,” he whispered, pushing his hips forward again. The touch was too much and Sanji closed his eyes with a moan. Zoro could do nothing but watch his every movement. Take in how Sanji trembled beneath his hands. How he melted like wax between his fingers. How he writhed beneath him with arousal. How every little sound left those seductive lips. Fascinated and ashamed at the same time. As if it were a sacrilege to touch him. As if with every touch, Zoro was desecrating something that deserved only devotion. It drew him in until Zoro finally lost himself in it. With marks that adorned his back. Deep and sublime, they hurt.

“Do you have any idea how long I've been wanting to touch you like this?” he asked, as if in a trance. No longer lucid himself. Caught up in a high that even the best sake on the Grand Line couldn't match – “No. Tell me,” Sanji replied breathlessly. He moved his hips toward Zoro, seeking more relief. – “Since you came on this ship with your fucking irritating attitude,” he growled. He remembered the first time his gaze met Sanji’s. How much tension he had felt inside without showing it. How his fingers twitched, clenching into fists, with the urge to grab one of his swords. – “Even more since you begged for it the first time,” Sanji’s gaze was still clouded. The words reached him as if shrouded in thick fog, without him understanding their meaning. Only that Zoro wanted him. He wanted him with all the things he hated about him. Perhaps exactly because he hated it. Because it tickled something in Zoro that only Sanji could calm. Something he only felt when he was with him. Because it warmed a part of him that had been encased in ice for far too long. Because it provoked and angered him. Because it made his skin burn every time they met. Because he finally desired something as much as he desired fighting. And he had to have it. He had to have Sanji. All of him. He had to have him. And he would protect him. Fight for him and give everything it took to keep him.

Now that he had tasted it, there was nothing that could make him give it back. Sanji was lost. And only Zoro could find him. As if he were drowning, Sanji clung to him. Like an anchor in a stormy sea. Sanji felt he was losing his grip. All he could feel was Zoro. How his hands moved back to his hips. Grabbed him and pulled him close. Hands so big they almost enclosed him

Zoro frantically ran his hands along Sanji's belt. Without wasting any time, he opened it and grabbed the waistband, pulling it down a little over Sanji's hips. He hurriedly freed him to feel more of his heated skin – “Zoro, wait,” Sanji suddenly stopped him. His voice was rough and unfocused. – “What’s wrong?” Zoro asked immediately, concerned. He could hear that something was wrong, even though his own mind was too clouded to understand why. He rose slightly to look down at Sanji. His forehead was creased in deep wrinkles. His eyes frantically searched Sanji’s face for any sign of doubt. Anything that told him that this felt like a mistake to Sanji – “I don't think that-” – Sanji struggled with the words. He didn't know how hurtful they would be. He tried to clear the fog inside him so he could think clearly. - “I’m ready for this.” – But Zoro showed nothing but understanding. He breathed out in relief, pressing his forehead against Sanji’s to take a few more calming breaths. To collect himself before moving away from him and climbing down from Sanji to let himself fall heavily beside him. – “It’s okay. We'll wait,” he replied, also searching for the last bit of self-control within himself to calm down. Even though it was difficult for him to hold back. He had longed for this for far too long. He wanted to finally take Sanji completely. As much as he would let him. But they would have time for that. Zoro somehow had a feeling about it.

“What's a few more years?” he quipped, folding one arm behind his head and extending the other invitingly. Sanji seized the opportunity, lying down close to Zoro, who put his arm around him in a protective gesture. Sanji closed his eyes contentedly. What else could he have expected? Zoro had proven more than once that he had nothing but Sanji's best interests at heart. Of course he wouldn't push him for more than he was ready to give. And Sanji couldn't help but breathe out in relief as well. He enjoyed the silence between them, which was so peaceful that it enveloped him in warmth. He pressed his face deeper into Zoro's chest. With his heartbeat in his ear and a hand in his hair, he felt another gentle kiss on his forehead. The other hand reached for his injured one and massaged his fingers with gentle pressure. And before he knew it, Sanji had drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Chapter Text

Before the sun rose again, Sanji and Zoro had quietly left the crow's nest. After a quick stop in the bathroom, they disappeared into the kitchen to prepare breakfast as usual.

It had been a long time since Sanji had felt so relaxed. It felt as if the tension of the last few years, caused by battles and adventures, had fallen away from him in just one night. It made him walk through the kitchen and cook as if he were walking on clouds. There was hardly anything that could have dampened his mood. And Zoro seemed to feel the same way. He reached out his hand to him whenever necessary, without saying a word. Brushed a strand of hair aside when Sanji bent too low over a pot to taste the broth. All while placing fleeting touches on his skin.

“Good morning,” Luffy called out as he entered the galley. This was surprising, as he was usually the last to leave his bed. At a time when some of the others had already shown up in the kitchen. But not today, as Sanji realized far too late. – “Good morning, Luffy,” Sanji greeted him cheerfully, not thinking anything of it, and already placed the first dish on the table. – “Are you done yet?” Luffy’s excited voice rang out. Slightly hesitant, as Sanji noticed. He still hadn't sat down in his usual exuberant energy. He was still standing in the doorway, staring at Sanji. Strange. – “Yes, the food will be ready in a moment. You can sit down,” Sanji confirmed and went back to the kitchenette. – “That’s not what I meant,” – Sanji looked back over his shoulder at Luffy, who tilted his head and stared intently at the two of them. – “Excuse me?” – “Nami has forbidden us from coming into the kitchen until you call us to eat,” – Sanji furrowed his brow, while Zoro suppressed a quiet laugh. – “Why would she do that?” asked Sanji, who was probably the only one who didn’t understand what was going on. Zoro remained silent, obviously enjoying the spectacle without explaining it to Sanji. And before Luffy could respond, Nami came through the door. Her fist raised, she was about to hit Luffy hard on the back of the head. – “Didn’t I tell you to stay outside?” she hissed, already trying to pull Luffy back through the door when Sanji stopped her. – “Whatever is going on here, postpone it until later. Dinner is ready.” – Nami let go of Luffy with a snort and walked past him. But not without bumping into him with her shoulder for being such an idiot. And Sanji watched. Silently. Because he simply couldn't figure out what that was all about. But maybe it was better that way. Whatever it was, he didn't want to strain his nerves unnecessarily. And if it had anything to do with Luffy, then the probability of that was clearly too high.

That's why he preferred to wait until the galley gradually filled up with his friends. Everyone took their place and, after a quick thank you to the cook, began to eat every crumb with appreciation. And as usual, it was a quiet breakfast. If it weren't for Nami, who cleared her throat conspicuously. Obviously to get Sanji's attention, who immediately looked over at her. With a grin and a suggestive hand gesture toward her own throat, she looked at him with an insistent gaze. As if she wanted to tell him something that Sanji didn't yet understand. Then she pointed her finger at him and Sanji touched his own throat with his left hand. Nami's gaze then wandered to Zoro and Sanji followed suit. He saw a hidden grin behind a fork full of scrambled eggs. Then it dawned on him. He ran his fingertips along his throat to check. He felt a raised spot and applied light pressure to it. It hurt and at the same time made his cheeks flush. Nami began to giggle quietly behind her hand and Zoro buried his face deeper in his plate. This couldn't be true. Had that stupid gorilla really given him a hickey?

With enough force, Sanji stepped on Zoro's foot, causing him to choke on his scrambled eggs. – ”You okay, Zoro?” Nami asked hypocritically, with a grin. Zoro just nodded. – “Choked,” he grumbled and washed down the egg with a generous sip of water. – “You’ll get that back,” Sanji growled quietly, hoping that no one else had noticed their little dispute. Which only made Zoro grin again. – “Oh, I hope so,” he muttered, pulling his feet back under his chair in case Sanji kicked him again. And sure enough, Zoro heard the stomp of a foot and Sanji’s repeated growl. – “Oh, Sanji, that reminds me, Chopper said that today is probably your last appointment. Are you excited?“ Robin asked him, pretending she hadn't heard anything else - “Yes, with good luck, he can remove the stitches today. Then hopefully my hand will be fully functional again,” Sanji confirmed, giving her a charming smile. - “That must be a relief for you,” Robin replied, returning the smile. – “Especially because you’ll finally be rid of that gorilla. Right?” Nami joined in the conversation, making no secret of what she was alluding to. – “After all, there will be no more reason to sit on top of each other like this,” – Sanji glanced uneasily in Zoro’s direction, who pretended not to be listening. He continued to shovel scrambled eggs into his mouth, his eyes fixed on his plate. But Sanji could see the tension in his shoulders. – “You’re probably right,” – Nami noticed it too. – “On the other hand, it would do him good to contribute to the common good as well. It would certainly help with his debts,” she conceded. Even though it was fun to tease the two of them, she felt that there were still too many things they hadn’t talked about yet. For example, how they would explain their closeness to each other. But Nami wasn't heartless. If a few minor excuses were needed, she would be more than happy to help. Maybe even occasionally out of pure selflessness. And the fact that this statement came from Nami of all people seemed enough for Sanji to notice it too. Zoro, on the other hand, only responded with a growl and otherwise remained silent.

“It wouldn't kill him to lend a hand every now and then. Especially now that he's gotten so much better” – “Lend a hand. Of course” – Nami's gaze wandered back to Sanji's neck and her eyebrows twitched upward. Robin hid her smile, albeit unsuccessfully, and Sanji felt his cheeks flush again. – “You don’t need to laugh about that. Zoro cut the vegetables perfectly today,” he cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter. – “Besides,” his eyes nervously moved down to his plate. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Zoro’s hand poking around in his own plate with his fork. – “It wasn’t so bad having some help,” he admitted, not paying attention to his friends’ expressions as he said it. – “I could actually get used to this” - Nami’s grin softened. It turned into a sincere smile, and she decided that the teasing had come to an end for now. - “Then it’s settled. Zoro, you are officially Sanji's new kitchen assistant.“ – Zoro growled again, though this time with less fire. – “That's not for you to decide, witch.” – “Who are you calling a witch?” – Nami sneered back. She joined in the playful bickering and leaned over her plate. – “What? Do you prefer tyrant?” – “You stupid slowpoke. Be glad I’m not assigning you to scrub the toilets.” – “As if you could. Luffy is still the captain.” – “And you think that airhead cares? He’d suffocate in his own filth if he didn’t have me.”

Sanji began to laugh. He listened to his friends' arguments without taking sides, as he usually would have done. He simply enjoyed the ease they bathed in. The mood was so cheerful and relaxed, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Yet he was sure that it had never really gone away. That it was he himself who had hidden away in his gloom without seeing what was happening around him. It made him laugh so much that it interrupted his friends' bickering. – “Someone seems to be having a lot of fun,” Zoro grumbled, folding his arms across his chest. – “Don’t be upset,” replied Sanji, whose laughter slowly subsided. Resting his arm on Zoro’s shoulder, he leaned over to him – “After all, you’re the one acting like a bull in a china shop. Be glad I’m not kicking your ass for your audacity.” – “As if you could,” Zoro replied with a smirk, a challenging sparkle in his eyes. – “Want to test it?” Sanji asked with the same sparkle, holding his gaze. The air between them thickened. It crackled until the tension was palpable. It had something fierce about it. Provocative. Something intimate.

“But not at the dinner table,” Chopper interjected worriedly, fearing that one of their typical fights would break out at any moment - “And not until I’ve examined your hand. After that, you can do whatever you want.” – Chopper almost jumped up from his seat to stop the two from attacking each other. Sanji moved away from Zoro again to calm Chopper down – “Don't worry. I'll listen to your medical advice, of course. We'll postpone it until later,” he assured Chopper. He put on a smile to emphasize his words, and Chopper sat back down. – “This isn’t over yet,” he said to Zoro, picking up his fork again. Zoro just grumbled to himself and continued eating his breakfast. Nami watched the whole thing with amusement and gave Robin a knowing look.

The rest of breakfast went smoothly, by their standards. Apart from the occasional slap on Luffy's hands when they wandered over to plates that weren't his. – “Come to the infirmary whenever you’re ready,” Chopper called to Sanji as he was the last to leave the galley and closed the door behind him. Zoro had already started washing the dishes, and Sanji sat at the counter with a cigarette between his fingers – “So this is our last day, then,” Sanji mused, taking another drag on his cigarette. – „“You say that as if it were the end,” Zoro replied calmly. – “Isn’t it, in a way?” – Sanji ashed his cigarette and stared into the distance. He didn’t even notice Zoro drying his hands and approaching him just as he put the cigarette back between his lips. He stood in front of him and looked down at him. Sanji returned the gaze. Not quite sure what Zoro had in mind. Zoro carefully took the cigarette from his mouth. Brushed Sanji's lips with his fingers, just as he had done once before, an eternity ago. His other hand wandered to Sanji's neck. Held him tight and pulled him closer. Zoro leaned down toward him, close to his lips. – “Nothing will change,” he whispered and sealed their lips together. And only too happy to do so, Sanji opened his mouth and welcomed the tongue that caressed him. Engaging him in a kiss that was tender and full of promise. Only a loud bang on deck made them separate again. And Sanji laughed.

“That's asking for trouble,” he laughed, as both of them could already hear Nami's angry voice. Obviously scolding Usopp, who had almost blown up the ship again with one of his experiments – “Can't you get any peace around here?” grumbled Zoro, releasing Sanji from his grip. He stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray, which was already completely burned down – “Isn't that part of the appeal?” asked Sanji, reaching for the next cigarette. Which Zoro lit for him again without being asked. He got no answer. Only incomprehensible muttered words, and Zoro went back to his work. – “When you’re done, I’d go straight to Chopper. To finally get this over with,” Sanji informed him, staring stubbornly at Zoro’s back as usual, to which Zoro only nodded. Enjoying the last moments of peace before they left the galley again to make their way to what they hoped would be their last appointment with Chopper. On deck, they were immediately met with the chaos Usopp had caused. Colorful paint splatters scattered across the light wood. And Usopp, equally colorful, kneeling on the floor with a rag, working on a bright yellow stain. Sanji laughed again, but walked past without saying anything and headed for the infirmary. Zoro, on the other hand, caught a glimpse of Nami, whose usually orange hair was now adorned with blue paint and stuck to her face. This prompted Zoro to follow Sanji at a faster pace than usual, so as not to become part of the chaos.

“Hey Chopper. I'm ready,” Sanji announced as he poked his head into the infirmary – “Great. Come on in. We'll get started right away.” – And as always, Sanji sat down on the stretcher. Chopper removed the bandage and thoroughly disinfected everything. – “That looks very good. Then let's pull the stitches,” Chopper announced and reached for the thread scissors he had laid out, along with a pair of tweezers. – “This will be a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt.” – Sanji nodded and took a deep breath. He braced himself for what was to come and otherwise remained still. Chopper lifted the knot slightly with the tweezers and carefully moved the heart-shaped end of the scissors under the thread. Sanji grimaced briefly, but then it was over. The thread caught in the notch of the scissors and Chopper cut the seam. He pulled the knot through with the tweezers and placed them on a piece of paper next to him. Chopper gradually removed the thread until Sanji's hand was completely free of it. Then he disinfected the area again and let his hooves fall contentedly into his lap. – “That’s all,” he exclaimed happily, giving Sanji a moment to process it. To move his hand and test his fingers by bending them. Until his hand was clenched into a fist, something he hadn’t been able to do for two weeks. – “They’re probably still very stiff, and your fingertips may still feel slightly numb. Try to move them as normally as possible, and the symptoms should disappear in a few days. Feel free to continue massaging them. That should also help,” Chopper said as he carefully put his tools away. Disinfected everything thoroughly and put it all back in his drawer.

“Thank you, Chopper. I don't know what I would have done without you,” – Chopper hid his face behind his hooves, embarrassed. – “Oh, don't mention it. That's why I became a doctor,” he replied in a voice three octaves too high and immediately turned away from Sanji. – “Take care of him for the next few days and then everything should be back to normal,” he said, turning to Zoro and raising a hoof admonishingly. – “And no fighting,” he added emphatically. – “Of course,” Zoro assured him as always and held out his hand to Sanji. He took it and let himself be pulled to his feet. – “Thanks again. You’ll get an extra dessert for dinner for that,” – Chopper smiled happily and watched the two of them leave his infirmary.

“Everything okay?” Zoro broke the silence first. They hadn't said a word until they got back to the galley. All the while, Sanji's gaze was fixed on his own hand. Watching it move and bend. Inspecting it from all sides to see what had changed. – “Everything’s fine. Actually, it hurts a little. My palm is still very sensitive,” Sanji replied honestly. Zoro then took Sanji’s right hand in his own and examined it just as closely. He turned it in his hands until the palm was facing him again. He applied some pressure to the skin and moved his fingers in circular motions over it. It reminded Sanji of the massages Zoro had given his battered fingers over the last few weeks. Only to kiss his palm immediately afterwards. Apologizing for what he had done to him. A shiver ran down Sanji's spine and he barely suppressed a tremor. – “Then I’ll stay by your side until it’s over.” – Those words made Sanji smile. He curled his fingers so that they touched Zoro’s cheek. – “Don’t say that. That might make me pretend” – “You know what I mean”- And Sanji knew. But he still couldn’t stop himself from teasing and taunting Zoro. Until he met his gaze again. Full of devotion and longing. Another loud bang on deck destroyed the moment between them, and Zoro muttered angrily.

“This damn ship” – Sanji laughed and carefully withdrew his hand from Zoro's. Zoro was probably right. Nothing would change. They would always remain this chaotic bunch of pirates sailing from adventure to adventure. Even in the quiet moments full of drive and the desire for greatness. – “Come on, let's see what our hotheads have done now,” said Sanji, reaching for Zoro's hand for the first time himself. He placed it in his right hand and squeezed it lightly, encouragingly. And what else could Zoro do but follow him? Out onto the deck, where Franky was mourning the huge hole in the railing, close to tears. And even when their comrades noticed their presence, Sanji didn't let go. With his heart beating fast, he only avoided Nami's gaze as she watched them knowingly.

And that should have been it. No big storm brewing. No flood sweeping them away. And no lightning striking them either. Nothing happened. Except for the usual arguments and chaos. Luffy rubbing the back of his head after Nami had punched him. Usopp still scrubbing the deck, with calluses on his hands and constant whining that he hadn't wanted to do that. Robin lying in her deck chair reading a book as if all hell wasn't breaking loose around her. It was just wonderful. It was everything Sanji wanted. It was exactly what finally lifted the weight off his chest that had been crushing him all this time – “Happy?” asked Zoro, who hadn't missed Sanji's expression – “You have no idea,” replied Sanji, squeezing Zoro's hand again.

“Hey, mosshead! Stop smooching and clean up this mess!” Nami shouted from afar, holding Luffy in a headlock – “What? We didn’t-” Sanji began, but was immediately interrupted by Zoro, who had started speaking at the same time. – “What does this have to do with me?” he shouted angrily at her. Sanji had no choice but to look back and forth between Nami and Zoro. – “He’s your captain. So hurry up!” – “He’s yours too. So why do I have to be the only one to help?” – “Think of it as a good deed.” – “Good deed my ass. Then the cook will help too” – “But I told you. Besides, Sanji is still out” – Zoro was about to respond again, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. He didn’t know what to say to get out of it, and Nami took the opportunity to continue. – “Or should I put the damage on your tab?” – Zoro growled discontentedly. Knowing full well that Nami would do it and that there was no one to stop her. So Zoro resigned himself to his fate, muttering curses into his non-existent beard. This inevitably led him to let go of Sanji's hand. Giving him an apologetic look, he grabbed one of Usopp's rags – “Then I'll probably make some drinks,” Sanji said, more to himself than anyone else. Because no one else had heard him. They were all too busy dealing with the chaos around them.

It made Sanji smile contentedly again. And for the first time in a long time, he went back to the kitchen alone. Without the help of any of his comrades. Without Zoro's help. And instantly, Sanji missed the shadow behind him. He stopped himself from looking over his shoulder to make sure he really wasn't there. Even preparing the drinks felt strangely familiar. Being able to use his hand again after two weeks, completely unrestricted, felt like it used to. It brought back the independence he had missed all this time. At the same time, he felt a pang of nostalgia in his chest. It was a strange feeling. Sanji hadn't noticed how quickly he had gotten used to having Zoro around. To rely on him. To never really be alone. So much so that he caught himself reaching for a lemon and wondering for a split second why it wasn't cut. Because Zoro's presence was so omnipresent and at the same time so quiet and inconspicuous that one could almost forget it.

“Break time!” Sanji called loudly across the deck. Heads turned toward him, and he presented the tray of drinks with his usual gallantry. Each of his friends received their favorite drink. A moment later, they rushed toward him, thanking him for the refreshments on such a hot day, especially after such hard work. – “I've refined it with a dash of sake,” he whispered softly as he handed Zoro his glass. Zoro smiled gratefully. Or at least, what Sanji interpreted as a smile. But it was enough to make the corners of his mouth turn up again. They didn't notice that their friends were giving them some strange looks because of their tone, which was very humane by their standards. And even if they had, it didn't matter. Sanji enjoyed being like this too much. He enjoyed finally being able to show Zoro this gentle side of himself. Opening up to him. So much so that others could see it too. Suddenly, Sanji wondered what he had been afraid of all this time. Because now that it felt so natural, he couldn't understand it himself. He no longer knew what had made him treat him with hostility in the first place.

But did it even matter anymore? After the last two weeks felt like an eternity, Sanji forgot how things had been between them before. How they had fought and insulted each other. Without the hidden tenderness that now prevailed in each of their verbal battles. But maybe it wasn't really anything new. No matter how much they had fought, it had always brought out the best in them. It had tickled something that only they could reach. They had strengthened each other without even realizing it. They trusted each other in a way they had only trusted Luffy before. Maybe even a little bit more. Maybe it had always been that way. Maybe it was always meant to be that way. Maybe it was always about being each other's strength. Maybe what they felt had been inevitable from the start. Yes, maybe it was even fate. And maybe, just maybe, Sanji liked that idea more than he wanted to admit.