Work Text:
From: [email protected]
Subject: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
Dear all,
I am teaching a first-year geology class and apparently it is a “meme” that geologists lick rocks. My students keep asking me about the lickability of various rocks. This is mostly tolerable, except that I intend to take them on a field trip in two weeks, and being out in the wild surrounded by very lickable rocks might take it from “tolerable” to “unbearable.” I’m looking for a biologist who’s willing to come to my class and give a scientifically accurate and as-graphic-as-possible description of what can happen to you if you lick the wrong type of rock. I can tell them that, say, malachite is toxic, but it would really help to get someone with intimate familiarity of what exactly rock toxins can do to the human body, to hopefully curtail any “can I lick this” questions during the field trip. Or at least reduce them.
Thanks,
- Davyth Gurathin, geology department
From: [email protected]
Subject: FWD: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
haha did you see this
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
YESSSSS this sounds like a blast. I’m Dr. Ratthi in the bio department, give me a list of toxic minerals and I will put together the grossest description of cells falling apart, livers liquefying, whatever you need.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
Remember not to reply-all on the faculty email list when answering private inquiries. Also, this seems like it may not be school-appropriate.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
Oops sorry
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
I still want to do it though
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
It is not just a “meme” Gurathin, I saw you lick a rock on the volcanism survey on Gartok Grah last year :P
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
Thanks for sending that to the whole listserv, Bharadwaj.
And yes in that circumstance it’s the quickest and most straightforward way to identify the halite content in Gartok rhodobasalt. That isn’t actually most circumstances.
Also, you put dirt in your mouth, you shouldn’t be judging.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
I do not put dirt in my mouth, I roll it through my lips to feel the sand/silt content, there’s a difference. It’s science!
I just don’t teach freshmen so I don’t have to hide it. XD
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
Please stop replying-all to the faculty email list about this.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
Can’t you just tell them what I tell my students and also my children: anything you find on the ground has probably been peed on by an animal. Don’t put it in your mouth.
Works like a charm on freshmen and six-year-olds alike.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
… can I still give the lecture though
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: ISO Biology professor or lecturer to scare my students straight
Sure.