Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jey is going to cry. It is stupid, and it is silly, but Jey can feel the burning in the corners of his eyes and his hands have been shaking for the better part of half an hour. He doesn't know why he's going to, and that makes the desperation for it to stop grow even more. He's curled up on the sheets of a hotel room, lights shut off and curtains slightly open. He doesn't even remember where he is, and all he wants is Sami. He's been like this a few times, when everything gets overwhelming, but he should be able to handle it. Like everyone else in his family does, like how Roman expects him to handle it. He's never let anyone know that he gets like this, not even Jimmy, especially not Sami, but he just wants it to be over with. He wants to be held in his boyfriend's arms, to be comforted and told that everything's going to be ok, even though he doesn't even know what's wrong.

No matter how hard he tries not to, he's definitely spacing out, staring blankly at the wall with burning, barely blinking eyes. He's too deep into his spiraling thoughts to hear the hotel lock beep, and then the door slowly click open, someone entering the dark room. He doesn't notice Sami walking towards him slowly until the older man places a hand on Jeys's back, and he jumps in surprise. The sudden motion makes Sami jump too, and he curses softly when he startles. Jey doesn't say anything, just blinking up at him in the dark. Sami leans over to turn the lamp on the end table on, and Jey grimaces, squeezing his eyes shut against the bright light.

“Habibi-” Sami begins, and Jey turns to look at him, and the moment they make eye contact, and the feeling he gets at the petname, Jey loses it. He starts sobbing, cutting Sami's voice off, his entire body shaking with the force of it. Sami immediately gets on the bed, pulling Jey's shaking body against his chest, wrapping his arms around him.

“Jey, Jey baby what's wrong?” Sami's voice is filled with conern, and it makes Jey feel worse.

Jey can't even respond, shaking his head. His sobs are echoing in the hotel room, and he can practically feel Sami's concern wrapped around him. He's trying to calm down as quickly as possible, trying to copy the rise and fall of the older man's chest, gasping around breaths. Sami smoothes down his hair in a repeated motion, trying to calm him down, whispering random reassuring promises when he realizes the younger won't be able to fully communicate any time soon. Sami starts to exaggerate his breathing, inhaling and exhaling as deeply as possible, getting Jey to copy him. When Jey's breathing has calmed down, no longer choked or gasping, just soft hiccups and sniffles, Sami tries again.

“What's wrong sweetheart?”

Jey looks up at him with a look that shatters his heart, and he softly kisses the young man's forehead, waiting patiently for an answer.

“I dunno.” Jey's voice catches at the end of his sentence, but he doesn't start crying again, taking a deep breath to steady himself.

“You don't know?”

Jey hums in answer, really not knowing how else to respond to that. They sit in silence for a few moments, Sami still petting over Jey's hair, before the older of the two speaks up again.

“Can you,” he stops, and sighs, before he continues. “Can you explain how you're feeling right now?”

Jey doesn't answer immediately, trying to organize his thoughts through the fogginess of his brain. “Just….I just get like this sometimes. When it's all too much.”

“You could've told me about it.” Sami's voice isn't disappointed, but Jey can't help but feel like he's done something wrong.

“Didn't wanna bother you.”

“Oh habibi.” Sami breathes out, resting his face against the top of Jey's head. “You'd never bother me, never.”

It makes Jey want to cry again, but he's determined not to. The name makes something warm settle in his gut, and he wants to hear it again. He doesn't know how to respond, so he just leans against Sami, sighing.

“Feels like everything’s just,” He waves his hand around his head, sniffling slightly. “Just too big. And m too small. I feel childish. Just want it to stop.”

“Is there anyway I can help you?”

Jey shakes his head, and Sami sighs again. “Just keep holding me?”

“Of course baby.”

Sami moves to kiss the top of his head, rubbing one of his hands up and down Jey's back in circular motions. There's no noise other than their breathing, and Jey's occasional sniffles eachoing throughout the room. Jey can feel his eyes get heavy, suddenly exhausted from literally everything that just happened, and he closes his eyes. Sami quickly kicks off his shoes, flinging them to the floor with a thud, and he lays them down on the bed, still tightly holding onto Jey. He moves for a moment to grab a blanket from the bottom of the bed and Jey is unable to stop the whining noise he makes at the distance between them, cheeks flushing as Sami just smiles. The older man lays the blanket over the two of them, laying a leg over Jey's, kissing the younger man softly. Jey practically melts into the kiss, and he sighs for the last time.

“I'm sorry-”

“Don't apologize, you have nothing to be sorry about, ok? I love you so much.”

Jey doesn't know how he got this lucky in life, surely he doesn't deserve it, but he doesn't complain, just lets the feeling of sleep wash over his body, the feeling of Sami's skin against his is comforting.

“I love you more.” His words are slurred, a bit muffled, but they make Sami smile nonetheless. He waits until he's sure the other man is asleep before he reaches over to turn the lamp off, and rests too, holding him tightly even in their sleep.

Chapter Text

Jey wakes up in the morning with his head still foggy, but not overwhelmed like how he was last night. He's sluggish as he blinks a few times, clearing the sleep from his head, before he realizes that Sami is no longer completely wrapped around him. He panics for a moment, but he can still feel the weight of the other man in bed, so he simply turns his head over, seeing Sami awake, staring at his phone intently. He has an arch to one of his eyebrows, like he's either confused or just learning something new, and the way the light from the curtains is softly falling over his face makes him look ethereal. Jey reaches out to softly touch Sami's arm, and immediately the older man is kissing him softly, smiling.

“Good morning baby, feeling any better?”

“Mhm, Kinda. I won't cry, but still feel foggy.”

“Ah that- that reminds me.” Sami grabs his phone from where he had put it down to greet Jey, and he unlocks it. He goes to hand it to Jey, hesitating, before he hands the open phone to the other man. “We don't have to talk about it. And I may not be right. But I did some research.”

Jey has no idea what he's talking about, so he grabs the phone and looks at the screen, blinking a few times before his eyes decide to focus, and he reads the title first, words in bold that read ‘Age Regression’. Jey reads through the whole thing, unconsciously biting at his bottom lip as he does so, only realizing he's doing so when he tastes the sharp taste of copper. By the time he's done reading, his entire face is flushed and he can't even look at Sami, so he just hands the phone back and turns the other way, staring at the wall like it would make him dissappear.

“Jey-” Sami sighs, and Jey can feel him shift on the bed. “Jey I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it, I was just trying to help.”

Jey bites at his lip again before a sharp stinging pain makes him stop, and he huffs in frustration. “I'm not mad Sami.” He hears the other man sigh in relief, and he relaxes slightly when the older man places a hand on his back. “I'm just conused.”

“Confused about?”

“What it all means.” Jey huffs again, turning and dramatically flopping down on his back, now staring at the ceiling. “I dunno about….that.” He waves in the phone's general direction, not looking to see where it is, counting the tiles above him.

“We don't ever have to talk about this again, I promise.”

Jey sighs, bringing a hand up to cover his face. “No I- I want to. I just don't know how.”

“That's ok habibi.” Sami smooths a hand over his hair, leaning down go kiss the hand covering his face. “We'll figure this out together.”

-

It's about two weeks later that it happens again, the foggy feeling. He's not feeling too overwhelmed, just a little hyped up after winning the match he just had. He's top keyed up to go get drinks with Jimmy, he apologizes at least ten times to his brother, making him promise to go have fun without him. Him and Sami are in the hotel elevator when he decides that he should probably say something. They talked a bit about it, about the regression thing, and they both agreed they'd just have to see what happened with it. Jey's stomach is a bundle of nerves but he reaches forward to grab at Sami's shirt sleeve and he tugs on it gently to get his attention.

“Hey uce uh-”

Sami turns slightly to face him, patiently waiting for him to keep talking.

“Feeling overwhelmed again-”

Sami simply grabs Jey's hand with his own, intertwining their fingers, and he squeezes the younger’s hand gently. He goes to say something but the elevator doors open and there's a stranger outside, so he simply nods at them and leads Jey to their room. He unlocks the door and they enter, Jey whining involuntarily when Sami lets go of his to take off his shoes and set down their bags. Jey flushes at the noise but Sami doesn't say anything, just turns to face him and hug him. The younger man melts into the hug, sighing in relief as he nuzzles his face into the crook of Sami's neck. They're silent for a few moments, before Sami speaks up.

“Would you like me to help you get changed?”

Jey tries not to let the feeling of shame overwhelm him and he nods shyly, his responding ‘yes' barely audible. Sami moves them over to the bed, and he sets Jey down on the edge of it, looking through their bags for clothes. Jey still has the tight coil of mortification wound in his stomach, but by the time Sami is helping his pull his shirt off, it's starting to lessen. It's actually quite comforting, having Sami tell him to lift his arms up so he can put on a sweater, and then lift his hips up so Sami can change his pants. By the time both him and Sami are fully changed, he's no longer embarrassed at all, just reveling in the love he feels when he notices that the sweater he's wearing is Sami's. The older man smiles at Jey's gasp, and he softly pecks the other on the nose, smiling at him.

“What do you wanna do baby?”

Jey feels shy for no reason, but he fiddles with edge of the sleeve before he answers, mumbling. “Wanna watch a show?”

“Of course!” Sami's voice is cheerful, and he moves before stopping, getting closer to Jey. “Want me to carry you?” Jey nods and holds his hands out, so Sami scoops him up and carries them to the hotel couch. When they're both comfortable, leaning against each other, Sami starts to flicker through the channels, before settling on some cartoon neither of them recognize. It immediately captures Jey's attention though, and Sami runs his hand up and down Jey's arm, occasionally scratching at the base of his scalp, feeling him relax against his body.

Jey doesn't even notice it but he's stuck the edge of one of the sleeves into his mouth, lightly chewing on it as he watches the tv. He hears Sami chuckle behind him but he doesn't think anything of it, just getting more comfortable where he's laying. An hour or so passes and his eyes have been growing heavy, and he yawns around the wet fabric in his mouth as his eyes flutter shut. Sami coos at him and presses a soft kiss to his forehead, scooping him up from the couch and laying him down on the bed, even as Jey protests around yawns that he's not actually that tired. The older man gets them both tucked into the bed, and Jey shimmies forward to lay his head down on the other's chest, sighing in content as he does.

“Goodnight habibi, I love you.” Sami whispers softly, closing his eyes and bringing an arm up to hold Jey close to him.

“Nigh night tamā, love you more.”