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Chapter Text

[April 10th, 1912]

The crowd beamed with excitement on the docks of Southampton as RMS Titanic loomed in the distance, its grand frame towering over the crowd of passengers, reporters, and bystanders. First class passengers were escorted with pride and dignity up the gangplanks, their own personal footmen hurrying behind with stacks of valuable luggage. Meanwhile, third class travelers buzzed and shouted in a cluttered sea of utter excitement, clutching their tickets like it was their lifelines.

Lucifer Morningstar exhaled a breath of uncertainty, adjusting the lapels of his white waistcoat as his eyes trailed along the ships never-ending frame. His new fiancé was chattering beside him, her voice delicate and proper. He barely listened.

"Darling, look at that woman's hat. Honestly, it's a crime against taste" she said, linking her arm through his. Lucifer turned to the woman "Lilith, dear. Let's not downgrade those who simply weren't born into a life of riches such as us". 

He could have agreed with her, but didn't. Unlike his family— he wasn't one to hold it against any other for being less fortunate. If you'd even call it that. They're just living the life they were given. Who was he to discriminate? 

Lilith locked eyes with the shorter blonde man "Some aren't as lucky" she smiled. Their height difference didn't go unnoticed by those around them, but their family names meant a lot more than their many differences of any circumstance. 

Those boarding with the engaged couple, was their lively and ever-so friendly maid— whom they called Niffty. Alongside her, a much more sturdy man named Adam directed the footmen carrying all their luggage. He was the personal valet and bodyguard of Lilith's family. Lucifer was just... overjoyed when he heard that the man he indiscreetly loathed would be boarding with them. 

Amongst the constant roar of chatter and chaos, an approaching commotion behind him drew his attention—two young men sprinted toward the third class boarding line, one laughing and cheering as he waved his boarding pass in the air like a victory flag. The other, a tall figure in a worn red button up shirt and suspenders, tried to catch up, his dark brown curls bouncing with every step. He collided with Lucifer's shoulder, hard.

Lucifer stumbled "Bloody hell—"

"Oh! So sorry!" the man exclaimed frantically. Lucifer stood upright, studying the tall and lanky lower class man. For a lingering moment, blue ocean eyes met deep brown.

The man paused briefly before darting away, joining his friend in line. In his rush, something slipped from his pocket—a small worn leather notebook with its spine cracked and paper fraying at the edges.

Lucifer quickly bent down and picked it up. 

"Lucifer—" Lilith said, tugging on his arm "What on earth is that?"

He turned the book over in his hands. Etched into the leather across the front cover was a name: Alastor L. Hartfelt. 

"I.. don't know" Lucifer murmured, staring once again after the man who vanished into the crowd. "This fell out of that man's pocket"

Lilith sighed "Let's let the staff deal with it. Can't believe you're still holding it, Luci you don't know where that's been. We're boarding now."

Adam, checked his watch "Ships leaving in 10. Lucifer— I'd advise you to change before dinner. I've ordered all luggage to be placed into corresponding rooms. Shouldn't be hard to sort through" 

Lucifer fought back the urge to roll his eyes. Though a man could unpack his own belongings, Niffty nodded as she accepted her appointed task. 

Lucifer handed his fiancé off to Adam as they ascended up the boarding plank. Lilith linked arms with the butler "Not even aboard the ship and you're already barking orders. How typical of you" she said, turning back and motioning with her hand to catch Lucifer's attention.

But Lucifer didn't move. He opened the first page of the small book. 

Intricate sketches filled the pages. Drawings of buildings, new and worn down were skillfully etched into the paper. There were bits of poetry too— lively, bright, and some melancholy phrases were scratched between pages like secrets too heavy to say aloud.

There was beauty here. And pain. 

And... something else. Something oddly familiar.

A sharp whistle from the grand ship broke the silence of the moment, causing the man to jolt. The first class boarding line was thinning as he still remained on the docks. With one last glance toward the third class line, Lucifer slid the notebook into the inside pocket of his coat.

He slowly made his way up the boarding plank, gripping onto the side rail tightly. His feet felt heavy, like there invisible chains weighing him down. Those near and far had called Titanic "the ship of dreams". To Lucifer— it certainly didn't seem like it. To him, it was a one way trip to a life trapped in the riches of two royal family's joining together. His status would be everlasting from the moment he says 'I do'. 

An arranged marriage was certainly not his lifetime plan. He'd recently struck gold with his architectural business, even being recently promoted— but his arranged marriage had the upper hand, yanking him away from all he'd worked so hard for. He was miserable, but fought to find any ounce of hope he could while practically being tied to a leash. 

The next few days were unpredictable. When they arrive to New York, his life would be no longer his. He would have a duty to bring honor to their family name.

Aboard a large ship would be more like a pleasure cruise for most. But for a first class man with an un-negotiable marriage— Well, It was more like a prison on water. 

———————

Alastor hadn't meant to run into the smaller stiff-looking gentleman in the pressed white coat, but the excitement of the moment had gotten the better of him. He barely caught a glimpse of the man's face— only noticing his ocean blue eyes... but before he could see more, he was already half a dozen paces away, completely swept up in the utter chaotic joy of boarding the grandest ship ever built! 

"Did you see that, Husker?!" he laughed, grasping at his friends arm as they shuffled and dodged their way through the crowd. "I nearly knocked that poor guy straight into the Atlantic!"

His older friend laughed "Yeah? His tall arm-piece looked like she wanted to throw you overboard".

They both laughed, but Alastor's smile faltered when he reached into his coat pocket and found it empty.

His notebook. Shit.

He froze.

His heart gave a jolt, a cold wave of dread crawling up his spine. That book—it wasn't just paper and scribbles. It was him. Everything he couldn't say aloud. His thoughts, feelings, adventures. His truth.

He spun around, eyes darting through the crowd, but it was hopeless. The man he'd run into was long gone, probably being shoved up the first class ramp with the rest of the primped and  polished snobs. Even if Alastor could get past the officers, they'd never let him through. Not dressed like this.

A sinking feeling settled in his gut. He swallowed hard and turned back toward the third class gate.

"Problem?" Husk asked, noticing the shift in his buddies demeanor. "N-No..." Alastor lied, forcing a smile "Just remembered I left the stove on" he joked. 

Husk chuckled, and led them both across the gangway and onto the ship. Alastor kept his head high, but inside he was unraveling with uncertainty. He wasn't used to feeling this vulnerable. Sure, he could lose money, lose sleep, loose a fight... but losing that notebook? That was like losing a part of his soul.

And the man who had it now... well, that man didn't look like he gave things back.

Once they boarded, they impatiently scurried up to the ships main deck, carelessly leaning over the railing to wave farewell to those down below. 

The two friends burst at the seams, excitement overtaking them like a tidal wave. They would be going to New York to start over— create a new life they deserved. 

"This is a new start for us, Husker. I can feel it" Alastor said, the wind in his hair giving him a sense of freedom. 

Husk huffed out a breath of excitement "It is, buddy. You're going to make history and become a top radio host" he paused, "I'm looking forward to seeing my ol' folks again" the older man smiled, now waving at a pretty girl down below. 

The ship moved away from the docks of Southampton, beginning their voyage that would make history. 

Later that evening, the third class quarters of the ship buzzed with laughter and energy. Fiddles played, boots stomped, and someone had even started dancing on a table in the middle of the cramped space. Alastor sat at one of the wooden tables. He tried to drink, tried to laugh, but every time he tried to forget about the fact that his life was literally in the hands of a rich and wealthy man who probably spits on lower class people such as himself— 

Unless that man had read it.

Alastor's jaw tensed. That possibility hadn't occurred to him until now. If he'd opened it—read it—then all his ghosts, all his deep inner thoughts, were now out in the open, laid bare before someone who likely never had to beg for a single thing in his life.

He felt exposed. 

He felt small. 

But most of all...

He felt curious.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Husks large hands gripped his shoulders from behind, giving him a few shakes. 

"Al! Fuck, man we're on the grandest ship known to man, there's fine ladies all over the place, beer for days— and you're over here looking like a depressed shrimp, what's in your head?!" 

Alastor agreed. No point in dwelling on it. He smiled, guzzling back half of his drink, then jumped up to go join his friend with the rest of the party. 

As Titanic set out to cross the Atlantic, two lives that should have never collided had brushed briefly. It was nothing. A second. A meaningless flash of contact.

But sometimes, fate only needs a single moment to set the inevitable in motion.

Chapter Text

Later that starry night, the first class dining room glowed like a palace of candlelight and crystal with classical music playing softly and delicately.  Lucifer sat practically lifeless at the long white-draped table alongside Lilith and Adam and their acquaintances. He scanned the table at all the people in his world he could no longer interact with without feeling slightly sick. Mm, maybe it was the caviar.

Lilith was in her element, radiating her charm as she gestured to a mock-up of their wedding invitations. "We've decided on lilies, of course," she said, handing the invitation to another woman beside her "Symbolic".

Adam chuckled. "Very poetic. And Morningstar Estate will make for a stunning venue. Imagine the photographs."

Lucifer said nothing. Not like his input was needed anyways. 

"Lucifer?" Lilith's voice cut through the soft chatter, her smile faltering "Darling, do you approve?"

He blinked, looking up for the first time since they sat for dinner "Hm? Oh, Yes. Very... appropriate."

Lilith and Adam continued talking, as if he hadn't gone silent again. The blonde man let their voices blur into static, his gaze slipping to the flicker of candlelight in the middle of the table. He felt like a ghost. 

The only point of interest that had occupied his mind since boarding the ship, was that notebook. He knew it was wrong, but he wanted to read it. 

Eventually, he excused himself. No one stopped him.

——————

Back in the suite, the elegant furniture and shine of the decorative silver was almost blinding. Lucifer closed the door behind him and pulled the notebook from his coat. He sat in the armchair by the lamp, opening it carefully, as if someone were watching him opening something so sacred.

He turned each page slowly.

Chaotic scrawls of ink. Unfiltered thoughts. Stories half formed, drawings with such fine detail they almost felt alive. Dreams were written down like confessions. Despair hidden between the words.

It was madness. And it was honest. Lucifer read until his fingers trembled.

None of this should have mattered. The man who wrote it was probably drunk, loud, vulgar—totally beneath him in every way.

And yet...

These pages felt more alive than anything Lucifer had touched in years. There was more passion in a single sentence than he could remember feeling in his entire engagement. He closed the book gently, his chest feeling heavy. 

And then he couldn't breathe.

He stood and walked out without his coat. He didn't remember locking the door. He just moved, desperate for air.

——————

The deck was deserted, practically dead. 

The small blonde man, shivering from the cold nipping at his skin, walked along with no real direction. He had nowhere to go. 

It wasn't long until he found himself at the back of the ship. Almost like the end of the line. He didn't want to turn back. Lucifer shivered, leaning over the railing and staring down into the ever lasting black depths of the Atlantic. 

The raging water beckoned him. 

No more dinners. No more Lilith. No more smiling for cameras and pretending to care about roses or invitations or titles. No more feeling like a fraud in his own skin.

He closed his eyes. The waves of the ocean roared beneath him, the sound filling his ears.

——————

Alastor stood further down the deck, hands buried in his pant pockets, humming something quiet and under his breath. His cheeks were still warm from the whisky, his boots scuffed from dancing. The music from third class had long since died down, replaced by the ambiance of the sea.

He spotted the silhouette ahead. That stiff, perfect posture. Alone.

The man from earlier.

Alastor paused.

The wind tugged at him, almost as if something was telling him— go. Not because of curiosity. Not because he thought he might get the notebook back. But because there was something off in the stillness of the small figure by the rail. Something not right.

He moved forward slowly, each step careful. He said nothing.

Lucifer didn't hear him. Or maybe he did and didn't care.

He was gripping the rail like it was the only thing anchoring him to the world. His body feeling like it was being pulled closer to the edge. Maybe if he jumped—

"Beautiful night, ain't it?" A voice from behind said softly.

Lucifer turned his head, startled. Nothingness behind his eyes. 

The emptiness in the man's demeanor made Alastors heart stop for a moment, he knew that look all too well, but pretended not to notice. "Heh, I'd say you look like a man enjoying the view..." Alastor added "...but that's not the case, is it?". 

Lucifer stared at him, breathing shallow. His lips parted to say something, but the words didn't come.

And just like that, something in him cracked.

...

The smaller man blinked as though Alastor had yanked him out of a dream— or a nightmare. The other man stood there casually, cold hands tucked into his pant pockets, a crooked smile on his lips. He looked slightly uncomfortable. 

Lucifer turned away, back to the sea. "Shouldn't you be below deck? They might revoke your freedom for being up here or something" he said, his breath fogging with each word. 

Alastor chuckled softly, stepping closer but keeping a respectful distance "And miss the pleasure of your company? Perish the thought!"

Lucifer exhaled sharply through his nose. "I'm not in the mood for theatrics". 

"That's funny you say that" Alastor replied "You look like you've been stuck in a play for years with that get-up". 

Lucifer's shoulders stiffened. He just wanted to be alone. Alone so he could... well, he wasn't so sure now. 

He could have ordered the lower class man to go. Could have used his authority and simply have security remove him from the deck. But he didn't, he couldn't. He wasn't like that. He wasn't the same as those in first class. Instead, he turned slowly, meeting Alastor's eyes.

Those dark brown eyes. 

A long silence passed between them. The ocean roared softly below, sounding more like a melody than an eerie beckoning call. 

Alastors smile widened slightly at the edges "I know you" he paused, his eyes searching the familiar pair of ocean blue. 

Lucifer didn't want to talk, but replied "Lucifer Morningstar."

Alastor raised a brow "Well. Of course it is. Didn't expect it to be Bob, or something" he joked.

Lucifer gave a dry, tired forced smile. His hands still gripped the tail tightly "And you?"

"Alastor" he paused "Hartfelt" he said, dipping into a sloppy bow to the smaller man. "A rising radio host, chronic scribbler, and writer of nonsense". 

"...It wasn't nonsense" Lucifer said almost too softly for the other man to hear him. A wave of guilt washed over him, now standing a few feet away from the person he had read about. 

Alastor glanced at him. Fuck. So he did read it. He expected to be angry, or pissed for that matter, but he didn't feel anything of the sort... 

"You're not like the rest of them" he said, removing his hands from his pockets to lean against the railing, still a generous distance from the other distraught man. 

Lucifer let out a gentle laugh "Don't be so sure there, Mr. Hartfelt".

"No—" Alastor insisted, his tone gentle "They're all asleep in soft silk sheets, dreaming about riches, pearls, and politics. And here you are, out here with the sea and the dark. That's not nothing."

Lucifer lowered his head, watching the waves below through the railing bars "It's not enough either."

Alastor stepped forward slowly, until he was beside him now, both of them leaning on the railing "Is that why you were thinking about jumping?"

Lucifer didn't respond. Honestly he didn't know how to. 

"I wasn't watching for long" Alastor said, eyes still fixed on Lucifer "But long enough to see a man who thinks there's no way out".

Lucifer's jaw clenched. He wasn't wrong. 

"Do you always follow strangers?"

"Mm, only the interesting ones".

"Why'd you write all that?" Lucifer asked suddenly, still a bit embarrassed he'd pried into a complete strangers life "...The stories. The thoughts, the grief... Who was it for?"

Alastor was quiet a moment, but then he adjusted his elbows on the railing "Me, mostly. I write things down so they don't live in my head and hold me back from living".

Lucifer's throat felt tight "And does it work?"

Alastor shrugged "Sometimes" he paused, a small shiver ran up his spine from the wind "But it also helps me climb another mountain, going back and reading about all the others I've climbed without falling. Makes you realize you're a lot stronger than you think".

Lucifer closed his eyes, turning slightly to face the man beside him "I'm marrying a woman I barely know. I'm building a life I don't believe in. Every step forward feels like I'm vanishing. There's no point anymore"

Alastor didn't say anything right away. He looked up to the stars above, how they danced in the black sky. 

"Then stop". 

Lucifer turned to him, surprised.

"Run. Jump off the ship. Stay in this world and thrive off gossip and caviar. Or run away, come with me below and get a drink that doesn't taste like money. Then you'll know what living is really like. Do anything but vanish".

Lucifer stared at him. His hands loosened on the railing a bit. 

It was such a simple thing, those words were spoken with such recklessness. And yet, no one had ever said anything to him like that. As if escape was a choice me could make. As if he wasn't already too far gone.

A quiet moment passed. Then Lucifers eyes met those dark brown ones again "Why are you helping me?"

Alastor gave him a crooked grin "Because, Mister Morningstar, I thrive off of life itself. I've learned how to see people for who they are. And you look like someone worth saving". 

For the first time in a very long time... Lucifer felt something. Not hope, not relief, but just... something. 

Alastor stepped back from the railing, holding his hand out to the shorter man "Why don't you step away from the railing and let me walk you back to your so-called palace on water... well— as far as your kind will allow a street rat like me to go" he smiled. 

Lucifer glanced down at the crashing waves once more. He wasn't so drawn to them anymore. The pull that he felt earlier seemed to have changed course... now in the direction of the man generously holding his hand out. 

Alastors tense body relaxed when the soft hand of the first class man took his, allowing himself to be pulled out of the darkness that had almost overtook him. 

Lucifer didn't realize how close he now was to the taller man. His figure practically loomed over his smaller figure, but not in a way like he felt crushed standing beside his fiancé. This was different.

The unruly tufts of Alastors hair blowing in the wind, his worn down clothes, the loose soles of his shoes... Lucifer was in every way different from this man. But in this moment, he felt seen by this stranger. 

Behind them up on the second deck, the unmistakable silhouette of Adam's shadow moved swiftly along the walls of the ship, lit by soft lanterns. 

Shit! 

Lucifer let go of Alastors hand "I uh, I need to go, they'll find me here and I won't hear the end of it" he said, scrambling to fix his exterior.

Alastor chuckled, but remained fixated on the man "Promise me you'll go back to your room. Don't do anything reckless" he said. 

Lucifer saw the top of Adam's head approaching over Alastors shoulders. "I promise" he said quickly before running off as fast as his fancy shoes would let him, leaving the third class man to quickly dart behind a railing before the approaching man could see him. 

Up above, Adam scanned the back of the ship. 

Alastor released a breath he didn't know he was holding as the butler turned back, leaving him alone on the back of the Titanic with a lingering feeling of unease. He needed to know if that poor small rich man would be okay. His notebook didn't even cross his mind.

Chapter Text

[April 11th, 1912]

The morning sun filtered through lace curtains, painting the first class lounge golden. Lucifer sat across from Lilith at their breakfast table near the window, his untouched croissant slowly cooling on the plate.

The small blondes head was scrambling with emotions, thoughts, and feelings way too complicated to process. Last night he felt like there was no way to go on and had almost— well. Thanks to that man, he might've done something he'd never be able to undo. 

That man— Alastor. He had been in Lucifer's mind all morning. Something tugged at him, something that made him want to see the third class gentleman again. 

Lilith was in the middle of explaining the difference between two colors she had chosen for her bridesmaids dresses when she paused and looked at him more closely.

"You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?" she said, less annoyed and more concerned.

Lucifer blinked "I— of course I have. The... the invitations..."

She sighed, setting her cup of tea down with the gentlest click "Lucifer. What's going on? You've been so disoriented lately... almost melancholy".

He looked up at her. She wasn't cruel— not like some of the others in their class. She was sharp as a whistle, proud, born into this life without experiencing the world from another perspective. And sometimes, when she smiled at him just right, he almost believed they could work. Almost.

If he told her what had happened last night— what he was about to do... she would have seen him differently. He would crush her. 

"I've just been thinking" he said smoothly, the lie forming a ball in his throat "It's a new life, isn't it? Marriage, responsibilities... It weighs on a man".

Her expression softened. "You're allowed to be nervous. I know it's not exactly easy. But you don't have to do this alone".

His stomach twisted. He hated himself for lying. But not enough to tell her the truth.

Before he could respond, something small at the edge of his vision caught his attention— the notebook, resting on the side table beside the couch in the main area of their room. He left it out. Carelessly. Stupid.

If anyone saw it...

He pushed back his chair abruptly "Excuse me."

"Lucifer?" Lilith blinked, startled.

"Just— tea. I need more tea. Can I get you more, dear?" He asked, a forced smile spread across his lying lips. Before she could respond, he had already exited the room, grabbed the notebook and tucked it beneath his coat. His pulse was hammering in his chest. 

He couldn't stay here. Not now. He needed an excuse to leave so abruptly. Someone to cover for him... someone discreet. Someone small. Someone quick.

And then he remembered Niffty. Their strange little maid with the wide eyes and frantic energy.  She'd been fluffing pillows in another room while softly humming a tune. 

He considered her a friend rather than just their maid. It felt right. After all, nobody had any interest in talking to her about anything other than what needs a light dusting. 

They had become close, helping each other out when it was out of sight from any other. He figured she could help him sneak away like old times, before he was tied up in an engagement. 

Lucifer leaned in the doorway of one of the bedrooms "Hey, Niffty" he whispered. 

"What do you need, Mister Morningstar? A pressed coat? More cologne? A discreet exit?"

He hesitated "...The last one, actually".

Her eyes sparkled with mischief "Ooh. Another grand escape. I like that" she said with a wink "So what's the verdict this time?"

He knew Nifty could keep a secret. Frankly, she knew more about him than anyone "I need to get out. Quietly. I'm looking for someone. A man. Third class. I just have some unfinished business".

Niffty tilted her head, tapping her chin. She wasn't oblivious to the fact that Lucifer had a slight interest in men before. "Mmm, you don't look like the type who mingles with third class boys. I thought I knew you" she teased. 

Lucifer hushed her "It's not- no. Nifty I just owe someone a simple thank you" he checked to make sure no other ears were listening "And make sure Adam dosnt know where I am. Please".

The tiny maid gave him a knowing look "Sure, I'll cover for you. Go do whatever business you have with this secret man of yours".

Lucifer smiled "Niffty, you're a lifesaver. I owe you. Thank you" he double, no- triple checked that the notebook was secure in his jacket before swiftly sneaking out of their room. 

The journey down to the third class quarters wasn't easy. As soon as his polished shoes stepped on the deck of the lower class, disapproving eyes of those around scanned over him like a painting in a museum. He felt so out of place, but he needed to see Alastor again. 

He moved through the narrow corridors of the ships third class entrance, heart beating like it hadn't in years. Somewhere down here in all the chaos was Alastor. 

He ran a hand through his hair in attempt to flatten it back down, the wind didn't help. 

He didn't know what he'd say when he found him.

————————

It was rare to get this kind of quiet in third class.

Most mornings were loud, smothered in the scent of sweat and frying bacon, children running carelessly around, men hollering and arguing about poker, and someone always trying to tune a broken instrument in the corner.

But today, the air had a different weight. Alastor was sitting on an overturned crate, twirling a cigarette between his fingers instead of lighting it. Husk was nearby, seated at their usual table with a cup of cold coffee.

That's when Alastor noticed the sudden shift in atmosphere. Conversation around them went quiet. Heads turned. 

Then he saw him.

Lucifer Morningstar.

A striped peach colored top over white tailored slacks. His white coat tucked under his arm, bright blonde hair a little out of sorts, like he'd touched it too much on the way down. He was utterly out of place— too clean, too sharp, too quiet— but he kept walking.

And he was looking for someone.

Alastor's throat tightened. He knew it was him before those ocean blue eyes even landed in his direction. Their gazes locked across the room, and something in Alastor's chest went stiff.

There was something different about seeing him in broad daylight. Last night, Lucifer had been a silhouette against the moonlight, fragile and delicate. But now, in the sunlight he was fully real. Human.

He noticed the hazel eyes of his best friend sitting behind flicking back and forth between the two men, seeing how his buddy's demeanor changed almost instantly. Something that only happened when he was nervous, which was rare. 

Alastor stood slowly.

His worn out boots made soft thuds against the floor as he stepped through the crowd. Everyone was watching now— curious, confused, maybe a little envious.

Lucifer hesitated only a second before meeting him halfway.

"Morning" Alastor said lightly, his tone a mixture of delight and confusion "You're far from home, Mister Morningstar."

Lucifer's eyes softened slightly "I needed to return something. But that's not the only reason I came".

Alastor raised a brow "No? What else would drag a first class guy all the way down here? Certainly not the delightful scent of coal and cheap alcohol".

Lucifer's mouth curved into the faintest smile, reaching in his coats deep pocket and handing the notebook back to its rightful owner "I wanted to talk with you" he paused, noticing the entire room had been stealing glances at him "... in private?"

Alastor's breath caught, just for a second "Yeah, of course". 

They slipped out into one of the narrow passageways leading to the edge of the lower deck. It was quieter there— wind softly blowing the cool air against their skin. 

For a moment, neither spoke.

Then, Alastor broke the silence "You look tired."

Lucifer gave a dry laugh "You should spend some time with the Morningstars, you'll understand then" 

"Is this your first time slumming it? I'm sure being on a ship like this isn't accustomed to your usual lifestyle". 

Lucifer nodded, his eyes fixed to the wooden deck "Yes. And strangely, it's the first time I've felt like I could breathe since we boarded". 

Alastor grabbed a thick rope that hung from the deck above, swinging himself around it, studying the smaller man with new eyes "You read the whole thing?"

"I did" he admitted, a wave of shame hit him hard. 

"And?"

Lucifer was more surprised that the man wasn't pissed he went snooping around in his personal belongings "You see Mr. Hartfelt... I've never wanted to write anything in my life" Lucifer said slowly, and honestly "And reading it made me wish I could. Made me with I had something to say."

Alastor's heart thudded "You've got plenty. You're just buried under a life you didn't choose. That's all" he then offered a smile to the smaller man "And please, call me Alastor".

Lucifer glanced at him "Alastor— What makes you think that?"

"Because I know what it looks like when a man is drowning and pretending he's learning to swim" Alastor paused "It's not hard to notice."

Lucifers eyes trailed along the railing beside them as they walked "It feels like I've been drowning for years" he said, practically a whisper. 

Alastor turned toward him "And last night...?"

"I wasn't sure I'd come back."

The brunette man swallowed, jaw tight. He looked away.

They walked in silence, letting the wind fill the emptiness. Curious eyes didn't go unnoticed as they walked by other passengers. Frankly, it wasn't normal for people of such differences to be seen out so casually like this.

Then Lucifer spoke again "But then you offered me a new perspective."

Alastor looked at him sharply.

"You asked me to stop. To do anything but vanish."

"I meant it," Alastor said, voice low. Serious.

The smaller man found it hard to look up at him, "Thank you, Alastor."

He could only smile, it wasn't much, but he was glad it was enough to help this poor rich soul escape the darkness he personally knew all too well. 

Lucifer's fingers gently grazed along the decks side rail "So what now? I mean, I came down here to thank you and return your book. We have no reason to continue on. I'll let you get back to— whatever you were doing".

Alastor gave him a sideways smile. "What we do now? Well, I hoped that you had a bigger reason than to come down here and thank me".

Lucifer knew he was right. He didn't know what else he seeked out from the other, but his presence was enough to give him a breath of fresh air. He then spoke "Tell me about the things you wrote... the places you've been".

————————

They wandered the lower deck for a long time. No one followed. No one interrupted.

Eventually, they found a bench bolted to the wall, chipped paint and worn down, but untouched by the usual crowd. Alastor sat first, arms sprawled lazily over the backrest. Lucifer joined him, moving to sit cautiously as if afraid the bench might bite.

"Comfortable?" Alastor asked with a smirk.

"I think this was a crate in a past life."

Alastor chuckled "You'll live."

Lucifer said nothing for a moment, staring out at the light blue horizon. The sea looked gentler in the afternoon light.

"Well Mr. Morningstar.... Lucifer. We've basically walked around half the ship and I've only talked about my life... now you tell me something real, anything" he said. "Not a fancy dinner story. Not a polished and proper answer. Just something true."

Lucifer glanced at him, one of his eyebrows raised. 

Alastor held his gaze "You said last night you've been drowning. So what pulled you under?"

Lucifer looked down at his hands and fiddled with the button of his jacket. "My name..." he said finally "My title. The way people say it like it's supposed to be a crown, but it's just a chain."

Alastor's smile faded. He didn't interrupt. He was ever so intrigued. 

"I was raised to be a Morningstar. Not a man. Expectations, inheritance, legacy... It's all scripted basically. Every word I say, every step I take, even who I marry— none of it is mine" He then laughed, dramatically throwing his hands in the air "And everyone keeps telling me how lucky I am."

Alastor nodded slowly "Sounds rough"

"It is. Alastor, I was thriving. I was an architect, one of the best to be sincerely honest" he now sat on the bench with lesser worry about his posture, or how his jacket was elegantly draped over his legs "Being the only son in my family, there was nobody else to carry on the Morningstar name. I was practically forced to shut down business and become a married man" he thought for a moment "Lilith— she's lovely. She's not evil. But I just can't be who she needs me to be".

"You love her?" 

"I... don't- yes of course."

His hesitation with that answer was enough to clarify his true feelings. Alastor leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees "You know what I think?"

Lucifer glanced at him "I'm afraid to ask."

"I think you're terrified..." Alastor said, not unkindly "But I also think you want to be found. Or you wouldn't be here."

Lucifer looked away, blinking hard "You make it sound so simple."

"It's not" Alastor agreed "But it can be honest."

Another silence stretched between them. But this one was different— gentler. 

Lucifer leaned back, the tension in his shoulders slowly loosening. He looked over at Alastor, studying the curve of his mouth, the liveliness in his eyes, the way he didn't sit like anyone in first class ever did— like he had nothing to prove and no one to please.

"You're not what I expected" Lucifer said softly.

Alastor grinned "That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me this week."

Lucifer smiled, genuine. It felt strange on his face after all this time "... I've been thinking about that night," he admitted "The night we met."

Alastor didn't speak, but he turned to listen, really listen.

The blonde man looked down "I wasn't sure anyone would notice if I was gone. Not really. Maybe Lilith. Maybe the dinner guests, for a moment. I don't feel like I matter. I'm just a rich engaged man giving everyone else another victim to gossip about."

Alastor's voice was barely a whisper "You matter more than any of them."

Their eyes met again.

There was a silence— awfully noticeable this time around. 

Then Alastor gave a crooked smile "You know, for someone who doesn't talk much, you're full of truth when you do. It's refreshing."

Lucifer flushed faintly "You're the first person who's ever asked for the truth."

Chapter Text

They had been walking for hours. The sun had begun to set, just touching the waterline across the sea, casting a beautiful orange haze along the ocean. 

Alastor was telling another story— the time he had met Husk in a bar brawl that he created. It was something silly over loosing a game of poker. 

Lucifer found himself studying the mannerisms of the taller man. How his expression changed as he told his stories, his hands would act out the words, how his smile crept on his face when he mentioned something humorous. He was truly a real person, the realist person Lucifer had met in a very long time. 

"— and then the other guy kicked him straight in the chest. Poor bastard flew clean off the stool. I nearly fell off myself from laughing" Alastor said. 

Lucifer laughed, a real laugh "You've lived a strange yet exiting life" he said.

Alastor grinned "Strange is the best kind. I've once worked as a shoe polisher just to get a buck for the train, danced barefoot in the streets of New Orleans, slept in an opera house once and woke up to an orchestra rehearsing above me. I live for the little moments— the ones most people are too busy surviving to notice. The best part is not knowing where you'll end up the next day..." he paused "...or who you'll meet."

Lucifer smiled, noticing how the lowering sun made the man's brown eyes appear so vibrant, almost like a maroon color. But then his blood ran cold after realizing that he wasn't just watching him, he was staring. 

 "I admire that " he finally said "You move through the world like it belongs to you. Like you've carved out your own space in it just because you were free to do so."

Alastor's smile softened "Well, I have to. No one was going to give me one."

Lucifer looked down, nodding slowly "You've got goals and dreams. Yet, I've always walked the path that was laid for me. Straight, polished, and very much suffocating. And now I find myself envying a man who once slept in a dusty old blanket under an opera house."

Alastor chuckled "You should try it."

Lucifer laughed again, then sighed, casting a glance over his shoulder "...I should go. They'll be wondering."

Just as he turned to excuse himself, a voice rang out from behind them.

"Well, well. Searched the whole ship and never expected to find you down here with... well, the less fortunate."

Lucifer froze.

Adam.

He approached with his usual upper class arrogance. His eyes flicked over to study Alastor with heavy judgement. 

"Lucifer" Adam said, folding his arms "Out for a walk with...?"

Lucifer's mind raced "Uh, a-an old acquaintance." He looked at Alastor who clearly got the memo. His ability to slip into character was impeccable. 

Adam raised an eyebrow "Really?"

Lucifer nodded, perhaps too quickly "We... knew each other. Before. In Paris."

Alastor, without missing a beat, stepped in smoothly "Oui, He and I go way back. Funny how life brings two good ol' pals back together despite the circumstances." As a so-called friend would, he hooked an arm around Lucifer's shoulders and gave a small squeeze, noticing the smaller man smelled like roses.

Lucifer froze, but accepted the sudden gesture, smiling forcefully at Adam. 

The arrogant butler laughed dryly "Hm. Sounds unlikely. Funny how every time your fiancé or I need your presence, you always tend to have better things to do, like chat with the folks who you have no business being involved with."

"Oh, it's anything far from unlikely, good man" Alastor said with a grin "Just happened to bump into each other before boarding. Figured we needed to catch up."

Lucifer gave a tight smile "As simple as that. Had to know what an old friend had been up to these days. Besides, he always was a talker, weren't you Alastor?"

"That's part of the charm" the taller man said, bringing another hand to rest on his hip, leaning more into Lucifer ever so slightly. 

Adam narrowed his eyes "Charming, indeed."

Before the tension could build even further, the familiar click coming from a group of heels echoed from behind. Lilith, followed by two of her equally polished friends she had made aboard the ship "Oh! There you are, darling" she said as she reached for Lucifer's arm with a smile, then paused, noticing Alastor "And who is this?"

Lucifer opened his mouth, but Alastor beat him to it.

"Alastor Hartfelt. An old friend of your fiancé's. A pleasure, Miss—?"

"Lilith," she answered with a polite smile "Lilith Morningstar. Well—soon to be, of course."

Alastor respectfully nodded, quickly flicking his eyes over to Lucifer "Congratulations."

Lilith smiled, noticing her friends giggling behind her, whispering in each other ears. The man presented to them was quite the charmer, despite his wardrobe. 

Lilith glanced between the two of them, an idea popping into her head "Would you like to join us for dinner tonight, Mister Hartfelt? I think perhaps Lucifer could use a little spark. He's been so uptight lately. Maybe you'll remind him what laughter sounds like."

Adam, including Lucifer went still. Was she actually serious right now? Alastor, without hesitation, smiled "Yeah, I'd be delighted."

Lilith beamed at the man "Wonderful."

Lucifer didn't speak, but he cast a worrisome glance at Alastor— who only discretely winked and mouthed at him: We'll be fine.

Still, the blondes heart beat like a drum in his chest. If one of them slipped up then it would be, well, bad. He didn't even know if he really trusted Alastor underneath it all. What is this was a plot to steal valuables from them perhaps? He could never tell what was truly going on in the head of someone of his class.

That was the least of his worries though, the world he'd just escaped was folding back around him. But this time, he wasn't alone. The thought of having Alastor there, completely vulnerable in his world, somehow put him at ease. He didn't seemed so bothered by it, rather than passing up the offer. 

Adam turned to return to their deck up above, subtly motioning the other to follow so they can dress for dinner. The glare he gave Alastor didn't go unnoticed. 

Lucifer quickly looked over his shoulder as they walked away from the lower class man, receiving an acknowledging nod from him before they turned the corner. 

Okay, now Alastor was panicking. Not because he would be sitting in the absurdly huge dining room filled with a bunch of polished people, or the fact that he now had to go along with the lie they had created— but because he had absolutely nothing nice to wear. 

———————

The room below deck was barely wide enough for two grown men to stand shoulder to shoulder, and yet Alastor and Husk managed to make it work. He stood in front of the chipped mirror nailed to the wall, pulling his sleeves through the borrowed jacket, an old brown thing he'd charmed off a drunken third class passenger just after his invitation.

Behind him, he watched Husk, who sat slouched on the lower bunk, a cigarette between his lips, and a bottle of cheap booze in his hand.

"You look like a magician at a funeral" Husk muttered playfully. 

Alastor adjusted the collar and raised a brow "Is that a compliment?"

"Nope."

Alastor grinned despite himself "Hmph, well it's better than those old worn clothes anyways. It'll do" He turned side to side, inspecting his new look. He'd combed his hair in attempt to tame the fluffy curls... which didn't look much different— but tonight mattered a little extra to him. He wasn't just a voice being heard on the radios. He was physically walking straight into a new world.

Lucifer's world.

"Why're you doing this?" Husk asked behind him.

Alastor didn't answer right away, he didn't exactly have an answer that made sense. 

Husk took a drag "You don't belong up there."

"No one does" Alastor said "Not really."

"Then why go?"

Alastor turned, smile slipping into something quieter "Because, he needs me there."

Husk rolled his eyes "This rich boy's got you wrapped around his finger don't he?" he took another swig from the bottle "I know you've got some secrets of your own, I ain't stupid.

Remember that one night at the bar downtown... you and that guy~"

"For the millionth time, Husker— I was drunk, he kissed me!" Alastor said, playfully chucking a small wooden comb at his friend. 

"I don't know pal, seemed like you enjoyed it~"

"You're lucky I didn't aim for your head" Alastor joked, threatening to whip another object at him. 

Husk stood up for a moment, standing over his shoulder to talk to him through the mirror "Just don't let 'em see you sweat, Al. First class eats nervous and disheveled guys like us for breakfast."

Alastor laughed. Then catching his own reflection again, he hesitated. He tugged his collar once more looking himself in the eye... this wasn't a stage. There were no cues. No script.

But he'd never been more eager for an act in his life.

Husk gave his friend two pats on the back "You look good, buddy. But let's try to tame those curls a bit more eh?"

Chapter Text

Alastor stood at the top of the grand staircase, his hands tight in his borrowed coat pockets.

The first-class dining room stretched below like a ballroom in a storybook. Candles as far as the eye could see, shiny decorative gold, it was far too bright compared to his world below ship. Everything gleamed. The chandeliers, the silver, even the people.

He felt severely out of place, like a lion in a sheep herd. He ran a hand through his hair again, smoothing it back, like that would keep his nerves from spilling over.

And then, he saw a familiar someone— Lucifer, now standing at the base of the stairs dressed in white with soft gold accents, his hair carefully styled, and his posture almost perfect. But his eyes— his eyes were searching. And when they met Alastor's, something loosened in his shoulders.

Alastor exhaled. He descended slowly, boots quiet against the polished wood, heart louder than anything in the room. He felt eyes on him with each step. Curious ones. Judging ones. But he kept his gaze locked on Lucifer's.

At the bottom, Lucifer offered the faintest smile "You made it."

"I said I would, didn't I?" Alastor replied softly, then glanced down at his get-up "You clean up quite well."

Lucifer's smile grew, taking in the taller man's new look. It wasn't much different, but anyone could guess he was what the posh folks call 'new money'. Aside from that, it was enough to accept him at dinner. "So do you! You could almost pass as one of us" He replied. Realizing what he said might have been a bit heavy. 

Alastor leaned in ever so slightly, voice low and quiet "An attempted effort, yes. But they're all going to figure me out quickly."

"They'll assume you're not exactly settled in with the life of luxury. Lots of us have been there before. They won't think any less of you unless you make them. Just pretend you're in the money club, they love money talk" Lucifer winked "Besides, Lilith insisted you join us. She's hoping you'll awaken my senses.'"

They exchanged a glance that held more than words— shared nerves, something warm and electric beneath it all. Then, Lucifer turned to lead him across the room.

They approached a long table draped with white linen and decorated with the finest dining cutlery. Alastor grew stiff when he saw the group of elegantly postured guests. Adam was already seated, swirling his wine. Lilith sat beside an empty seat reserved for her fiancé, and across the table sat her friends— who insisted they reserve the empty seat between them for the fine gentleman joining them tonight. 

As Alastor took his seat across the table from Lucifer, his eyes scanned the display in front of him. Many forks and spoons lined up perfectly, and empty wine glasses he could see his own reflection in. Speaking of, he quickly tucked back a loose strand of hair. 

"So glad you could join us, Mister Hartfelt" Lilith said, voice sweet and content "We rarely get guests quite so... worldly."

Alastor bowed his head slightly "The pleasure's mine."

Adam didn't speak. Just stared. Observed. 

One of the girls, a brunette with a pearl necklace and perfume that smelled like roses, leaned forward "Lucifer never mentioned he had friends in Paris."

Ah right. He forgot about that part. 

"Oh, well—" Alastor said, casually lifting his glass as the server topped it with red wine "— It was a spare of the moment kinda thing... I'm afraid we were very busy being obnoxious rascals."

Lucifer chuckled, almost reluctantly. 

Adam raised a brow "Well. I'd hope we don't get to witness that ruthless behavior from you, Lucifer" he said, not even looking in his direction. He then leaned forward "And what do you do now, Mister Hartfelt? Polishing shoes on the street?"

Lucifer winced at the comment. There truly was no need to bring this up. He opened his mouth to interject, but was cut off. 

Alastor turned to Adam, smiling "Sometimes for coins. Sometimes for bread. Once, for a single glove. Never quite know what you'll get in third class— it keeps life interesting."

There was a pause. 

Lilith laughed softly, breaking the tension "Sounds rather exciting. Doesn't it, Lucifer?"

Lucifer nodded, sipping his wine "He has better stories than anyone else here. I assure you."

That earned a surprised glance from the two girls. Even Adam seemed faintly caught off guard. One of the girls leaned toward Alastor "Tell us one, then. Something thrilling."

Alastor thought for a second, then launched into a story about escaping a cop in Venice— sneaking out a second floor window with a bag of his fair earnings on the street from the day. Clearly the cops despised the idea. They all laughed— first awkwardly, then genuinely. Even Lilith's smile seemed less forced.

Lucifer, though, was watching Alastor. Not just listening. Watching. Like he was holding onto every word and every change in his expression. It was only when Adam cut in, the world around him became louder again. 

"You ever think about doing something serious, Mister Hartfelt? Or are you content to just... float?"

Alastor tilted his head "Float? No, no. I sink... In style~"

Then, Lucifer laughed— full and honest. Heads turned in his direction. The sound was unfamiliar, even to him. Lilith looked at him with raised brows, almost like she was seeing him for the first time.

And Alastor, still smiling, raised his glass slightly toward Lucifer in a mock toast.

Lucifer raised his back.

Their eyes met again across the table. 

For a moment, surrounded by people too busy to notice, they saw only each other.

————————

The dining room had emptied slowly, with laughter fading into murmurs, and the ambiance of the room slowly becoming dull as less people worried about how they appeared to other eyes. 

Alastor remained in his seat beside Lucifer, legs casually crossed, his hands resting respectively in his lap. Lucifer sat straighter, but there was something softer in the line of his shoulders now. A warmth in his silence.

Across from them, Lilith placed her napkin neatly beside her untouched tea "Darling" she said, gently fluffing her dress "shall we retire to the suite? I'd like to go over the reception details before I have to make a decision."

Lucifer turned to her, soft and reserved "Actually... I think I'll stay out a bit longer."

Adam stood abruptly, not bothering to hide the tension seeping through him "Lucifer, really—"

Lilith placed a gloved hand on his arm "It's fine, Adam."

Adam didn't sit. He merely looked at Lucifer, then at Alastor, gaze narrowing. Alastor raised his brows in an expression that said 'what?' and smiled. Lucifer stood, straightened his jacket, and nodded politely "Goodnight."

Lilith returned the nod "Don't stay out too late, love."

They watched her and her heated butler leave. Adam lingered, jaw clenched, before turning and following. As they ascended up the grand staircase, silence fell.

Lucifer exhaled "Heh, that was... more than I expected."

"Not bad for a poor boy with a good lie, I must admit" Alastor said, nudging him gently with his elbow "You held your own, Mister Morningstar."

Lucifer looked at him, a small smile creeping across his lips "So did you."

They made their way back through the emptying corridors of first class, the distant hush of the sea welcoming them as they stepped outside. Alastor tucked his hands into his pockets, walking loosely beside the smaller man, eyes scanning the paintings and expensive wallpaper through the windows as they passed by. 

"I think one of those women asked me if I'd ever hunted peacocks" he said "Who the hell hunts peacocks?"

"They'd hunt gossip if it was a physical being" Lucifer murmured, a soft chuckle escaping his mouth. 

That made Alastor snort "God, I like you."

Lucifer turned his head slightly, his expression unsure "You don't even know me."

"Well, I'm getting to know you" Alastor said with a grin "Which is better than most people have tried, I think."

Lucifer didn't argue.

They reached the outer deck. The stars stretched above them— brighter than back in the city, vast and endless. The cold wind tugged gently at Lucifer's coat, catching loose strands of his hair.

They walked side by side for a while in silence, not needing to fill the quiet.

Lucifer looked up into the sky "They're so bright out here. I don't think I've ever seen them like this since I was a boy".

Alastor hummed in question. 

"— when I was young," Lucifer said "My father would take me out to the tallest point of this trail we hiked so many times... we'd forget about time and just watch the stars for hours. I loved listening to him talk about his dreams and ambitions".

The taller man smiled softly at him, this is the 'real' he had wanted to hear since the moment they met. 

"... Life was so simple then" Lucifer paused for a moment, but then resumed "He'd always tell me that when I wished on a shooting star then all my dreams would come true... that I'd find my purpose and live the life I always wanted."

Alastor nodded slowly, soaking in his words "If you could wish for anything right now, what would you wish for?"

The smaller man didn't realize they had stopped walking a while ago, now standing side by side and leaning against the ships railing. Their eyes met, both pairs full of words unspoken. Lucifer let out a soft defeated sigh "...something I can't have."

Then Alastor suddenly stood upright, clasping his hands together "Alright."

Lucifer glanced back "What?"

Alastor's eyes practically sparkled with excitement "Come with me."

"Where?"

He grinned "Downstairs."

Lucifer narrowed his eyes "Why do I feel like I'm about to make a mistake?"

"Because all the best nights start that way."

Before Lucifer could protest, Alastor caught his wrist— gently, and tugged him down the nearest flight of stairs, then another, weaving past half asleep stewards and closed off doors of third class passengers. 

They moved through the narrow hallways too quickly for Lucifer to take in his surroundings, but it was drastically different. The ship practically changed. The air thickened. The sound of laughter and music rose up to greet them as they approached a larger wooden door at the end of the long hallway. 

Alastor let go of the smaller man's wrist "Ready?!" he beamed. Before Lucifer could protest, the door swung open.

"Welcome to a real party, Morningstar!"

Lucifer's ears were filled with wild tunes from strings and fiddles, stomping boots, and someone banging on a barrel for rhythm. Men and women danced with wild, barefoot joy, skirts flying, sweat shining on their foreheads. The air was alive, hot, filled with joy and carelessness. 

Lucifer froze at the edge of it all, stunned.

Alastor leaned in close to his ear, closer than he'd ever been to the man "This..." he said "is how we celebrate being alive."

Lucifer looked at him, their faces close. His eyes flicked back and forth between the dark brown pair, but was then startled by the change of music and cheering from the crowd. He didn't know where to put his hands, how to stand, how to be in this space. It was so far from what he knew—no chandeliers, no seating arrangements. Just sweat and song and humanity without discipline.

Alastor saw the hesitation in his face and held out a hand "Trust me."

Lucifer stared at it. Then, slowly... he took it.

And Alastor pulled him into the storm.

Chapter Text

Lucifer sat at a rough wooden table, posture straight despite the fact that his coat was half unbuttoned and his hair was out of sorts. The air below deck was hot, pulsing with music and the scent of sweat, beer, and joy.

Across from him, Husk took a long swig of something that smelled sharp and cheap. His foot tapping to the music under the table. They merely had a word to say to each other, they had nothing in common.

"So..." Husk grunted "what's a porcelain doll like you doin' down here with the broken toys?"

Lucifer smiled faintly, glancing around the packed room "Following bad decisions."

Husk huffed a laugh "At least it's not boring. Definitely not as lame as your parties up above I presume."

Lucifer's eyes drifted toward the crowd— toward him.

Alastor was in the thick of it all, dancing like he belonged to the music. His suspenders hung loose, his sleeves rolled up, and his grin was full of joy spread across his face. He spun a woman in a checkered skirt, dipped a man in boots too big for him, and waved his hat through the air like a flag of mischief.

He lit up the room. And Lucifer couldn't stop watching him.

The crowd adored him, his every movement met with laughter, whistles, and stomping feet. He didn't need space— he made it, carving a path through the chaos so effortlessly. People loved his carelessness and livelihood. 

"Enjoyin' the show?" Husk asked, side-eyeing the smaller man between sips. 

Lucifer didn't answer. He didn't need to.

Because in the middle of a spin, Alastor caught his eye— and grinned. 

Husk leaned on an elbow to get closer to the polished man across from him "He's a good man, you know. I'm not one to get too close to people, but he's a man you could trust with your life. He's stubborn, a little egotistical at times, yes..." 

Lucifer blinked softly, eyes now on Husk.

"... he sees something in you. He wouldn't waste time with someone of your kind on the grandest ship if it didn't mean something."

Lucifer didn't know how to take that. He felt his chest become heavy, and his mind raced. 

Alastor pushed away from his current partner with a theatrical bow, dodged two dancers and a stray mug being chucked across the room, and approached their table with his hand outstretched "Your turn " he said, voice bright and daring.

Lucifer blinked "Oh nonono, I don't—"

"No excuses" Alastor interrupted, grabbing his hand "You've had your observation period. Time to live a little, cher."

Lucifer hesitated for only a second— glanced back at Husk then let himself be pulled.

The crowd welcomed him with curiosity and surprise, but no judgment. Hands clapped around him. The fiddles played louder. Alastor spun him once, twice, and Lucifer stumbled, breathless. His eyes darted to all the others dancing together, taking mental notes.

This kind of dancing was incomparable to the ballroom dancing he had learned over the years. His feet barely could keep up with all the jumps and skips he was being led with. 

He moved stiffly at first, half a beat behind, his limbs remembering years of practiced control. But Alastor danced like wind and fire, free. His hand caught Lucifer's waist, then his wrist, and he guided him, taught him with motion and laughter until the stiffness melted and Lucifer let go. They skipped through the crowd, accidentally bumping shoulders with other dancers, stepping on toes and merely causing folks to spill their drinks. 

They laughed. They turned. They clapped and stomped.

Alastor then leapt onto a larger table near the center of the room, serving as a perfect dance floor. He reached down for Lucifer with gleaming eyes.

Lucifer paused. Then he smiled— eager and carefree, and took the offered hand.

The crowd roared in delight as he clumsily climbed up onto the table beside the other man, his coat flying open, eyes sparkling in disbelief he was really doing this. 

They danced with hooked arms, swinging each other in wide, exaggerated circles, their boots echoing across the wooden surface. Their laughter tangled together— one sharp, one soft. 

The crowd was so drawn in of them. Seeing a man from the upper deck enjoy himself with the lower class folks added extra delight to the night. Almost like a mutual understanding. Many people who'd gotten to know Alastor on the ship could only watch in awe as he befriended someone who was known to look down on their kind. 

Lucifer's cheeks were flushed, his chest heaving, and when Alastor twirled him again, he stumbled—dizzy, swaying... 

And Alastor caught him. Hands at his waist. A beat of silence.

Lucifer blinked, expecting the crash of embarrassment, the shame, the impulse to retreat and never come back... But instead, he laughed out loud. A real laugh. Bright, startled, and alive.

Alastor's arms didn't move. His grin softened into something fonder, something stunned, as if he'd just witnessed a miracle.

"You're practically glowing, Morningstar" he said, practically breathless over the roar of the room.

Husk watched with a knowing smile from across the room. He's seen his best friend happy before many times, but not to this extent. In the back of his mind however, was the thought of the inevitable consequence of what he could clearly see forming between the two.

Lucifer got back to his feet, shedding his coat and throwing it behind him in the crowd with a mischievous smirk. He watched Alastor closely, a clueless expression on his face. Kicking off his shoes, Lucifer then grabbed Alastors arm and spun them around once more, so fast that the room became a blur. 

"You think a first class can't dance?!" the smaller man laughed, his once perfect hair flying apart as they danced with the music and chaos.

Lucifer didn't want to leave. He wished the night would never end. But maybe a short break from dancing and a drink in hand would be nice right about now.

The music didn't end— it simply blurred behind them.

Lucifer stepped down from the table, his feet landing heavily on the dirty floor, his shirt clinging damply to his back, and his hair hung loose in his face. He didn't care. He hadn't thought about mirrors, manners or Lilith in over an hour.

Alastor touched his hand briefly "Come on, I think we need a drink and some air before tearing it up out there again, huh?"

Lucifer didn't ask questions. He just nodded and followed.

They weaved through the crowd— past clapping hands, drunken songs, the sound of stomping feet and shouted names. People reached for Alastor as he passed, calling to him to join in again. He waved but didn't slow, grabbing two random beers off a table and offering one to the smaller man. His hand brushed Lucifer's once more. Not quite a hold, but a brief gentle caress. 

They pushed open a door near the back of the commons. The noise then dimmed as the door closed shut. They were now in another narrow hallway with pipes running along the walls. 

"Here" Alastor said, ducking under a low beam.

Lucifer followed him into a small corner of the hallway, perfectly shaped to for two to for comfortably. There was an old bench squeezed into the smaller space right by a small circular window.

Lucifer sat on the bench, a heavy breath escaping his lips. 

Alastor stood across from him and leaned against the wall. 

"You looked like you were about to take flight..." Alastor said softly "Back there, on the table."

"I think I almost did" Lucifer replied, chuckling faintly "I haven't laughed like that since I was a boy."

"You should laugh like that more often."

"I almost forgot how."

Alastor's eyes flicked to the small window. The moonlight streaked across his face, illuminating his reddish brown hair. "It's easy to forget. When the world tells you what you have to be. Who you have to belong to."

The silence sat between them— not uncomfortable, but thick with understanding.

Alastor finally moved, crossing the narrow space to sit beside him on the bench. Their shoulders nearly touched. Neither moved away.

"I never understood people like you" Alastor admitted "You have everything. The wealth, privilege, the whole world on a silver platter— and still, you look like you're starving."

Lucifer turned to him "Because I am."

Their eyes met.

Something in Alastor's expression softened "That world up there... it's a cage. They've got you trapped. It's wrong."

Lucifer nodded slowly "And the worst part is, they make you love it. Make you think you chose it."

He rubbed his eyes, suddenly tired from their earlier activities. He payed no attention to the time, but it was most definitely way past his curfew. 

"Tonight felt real" he murmured "You feel real."

Alastor smiled, crooked and warm "I am real. Poor, weird, a little drunk— but entirely myself."

Lucifer looked at him "I envy you."

"I envy you for trying to change."

A pause.

Then Lucifer brushed a piece of hair back in place from his own forehead, and laughed softly. "I must look absurd to you."

Alastor shook his head. "You look like a man who's just lived for the first time. The only absurd thing is how well you dance. Didn't expect that" he chuckled. 

Lucifer huffed out a soft laugh, looking down at their hands both resting on the bench between them. Close. Almost touching.

"Adam's probably shitting bricks searching for me" he said quietly "I'm supposed to be in my suite right about now."

"And yet here you are" Alastor said "hiding in a servant hallway with me, still glowing from a silly folk dance."

Lucifer exhaled a shaky laugh, his head falling back on the wall behind them "God help me."

"Maybe he did."

They sat there, shoulder to shoulder, the moonlight painting the chilling Atlantic waters. The ship rumbled beneath them like a distant heartbeat. The sounds of the boiler room below were easy to hear at this level. 

Alastor's hand then shifted ever so slightly.

A small movement. Quiet.

He subtly brushed two fingers lightly against Lucifer's hand.

The other man didn't flinch. Didn't pull away. He let Alastor's fingers rest against his own, the contact soft and unsure. 

Their eyes didn't meet.

They both just... breathed.

But then, feeling Alastors fingers softly brush over his engagement ring, reality crept in.

Lucifer tensed. His jaw tightened. He drew his hand back, resting it in his lap. The cool rush of absence settled where warmth had been.

Lucifer swallowed "Al, I can't."

Alastor didn't move "I know."

"It's not that I don't want to—" he began, then stopped. His voice felt too fragile, like speaking would make it real again "...But I have to go back."

"To her?" Alastor asked, softly.

Lucifer nodded once "To my name. My obligations. My new life."

Alastor sat up straighter, running a hand through his reddish brown hair "You were alive tonight, you know. You just showed all those people who you are underneath all the riches. You even proved to me that I wasn't wrong about you."

"That was a dream" Lucifer murmured, standing slowly "And dreams end."

Alastor stayed seated, looking up at him. His smile was small now— bittersweet and understanding.

"You're not wrong" he said "But that doesn't mean you have to walk back into the nightmare alone."

Lucifer met his gaze.

Alastor stood too, brushing invisible dust from his suspenders "Come on. Let me walk you back."

Lucifer hesitated "Al, you don't have to—"

"I want to."

He said it so simply, so firmly, that there was no room left for protest.

So Lucifer nodded "Alright."

—————————

They didn't speak much as they made their way up the stairs to the higher docks. Eventually they found themselves welcomed into the polished areas of the ship. The walls changed from steel to brass, the air sharper with perfume and silence. The atmosphere of third class faded into memory.

As they reached the edge of first class, Lucifer slowed. They stopped just before the hallway leading to the Morningstar suite.

"This is far enough" Lucifer said quietly "Adam will certainly have you escorted if he saw you."

Alastor's hands slid into his pockets "Alright."

A pause. The cool breeze left goosebumps on their skin.

Then Lucifer looked at him, truly looked at him, for what felt like the first time under full light. He wanted to memorize him. Not just the wild grin or the mischievous eyes— but the quiet way he stood now, steady and sure, holding space for someone who lived in two worlds.

"I'm glad I met you" Lucifer said. 

Alastor smiled "You still know where to find me" he winked.

They stood there, the air between them heavy with unsaid things.

Then Lucifer turned. He walked toward the gold, shine, and perfect silence of first class. He had plenty of words to say to the other man, but he had to walk away.

If he could walk away from everything he wanted  before, he could do it again. 

Alastor watched until he was out of sight.

He tried to silence the soft beating in his chest. But no matter how many times he tried, he couldn't stop himself from falling. His heartbeat grew, hands became clammy, and he let out a shaky breath "Fuck, I'm in trouble" He whispered.

Chapter Text

[ April 12th, 1912 ]

Morning sunlight crept through the gilded windows of the Morningstar suite, casting warm gold across velvet and porcelain. The breakfast table had been set with silver trays and a pot of tea, courtesy of Niffty.

Lucifer sat in silence across from Lilith, not touching his food. His fingers rested against the rim of his cup, eyes unfocused. He hadn't slept. Not really.

The sudden knock at the door was sharp.

It opened before Niffty could even answer.

Adam strode in with the confidence of someone who had never been told no. His coat was perfectly tailored, his brow furrowed in a way that seemed rehearsed before he came in.

"Lucifer" he snapped, shutting the door behind him "We need to talk."

Lucifer didn't look up "You're not even obligated to knock now?"

"I'm not playing games anymore" Adam said, voice stern "I know where you were last night."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow "Oh? Were you in the third class corridors too?"

"Don't play dumb with me" Adam stepped closer, voice lowered but filled with fury "You snuck off. With him. That street rat."

Lucifer met his gaze now "His name is Alastor. You would've known that if your head wasn't so far up your ass to hear."

At that, Lilith finally broke her silence "Lucifer!"

Adam's lip curled "Do you realize what people would say if they saw the heir to the Morningstar fortune gallivanting with someone like that? You're supposed to be preparing for your wedding, not slumming it with—"

"Adam. Enough" Lilith said, placing her cup of tea down with a firm clink. Her tone allowed no argument "Lucifer and I will speak privately."

Adam scoffed, then pointed at Lucifer with a stiff hand "We better not hear you're sneaking off again." He turned harshly, the door closing behind him with a thud.

Lilith didn't speak right away. Her eyes were tired, though her posture was perfect. After a moment, she looked at him with something far more dangerous than anger—disappointment.

"You're not here" she said softly.

Lucifer said nothing.

"You haven't been here for days. You smile. You nod. But your mind's somewhere else" she paused "Lucifer, you're speaking as if you were brainwashed by that man. Your profanity— I can't believe... look, he's a fine gentlemen, yes. But dear, our worlds can't collide in a way where it's acceptable. It's just the way it is."

He exhaled slowly "Lilith—"

"I know I've always wanted this more than you," she interrupted "I've known that since the day our parents arranged the courtship. I played the part. I made the plans. I convinced myself you'd grow into it... But now I see you, and it's like you're already gone" Her voice cracked, just slightly.

Lucifer looked at her. He didn't see a woman who wanted a crown. Never really did. Today he saw an honest woman who didn't want to be lied to.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly.

Lilith blinked, eyes glinting slightly "Are you sorry for how you feel? Or for not hiding it better?"

Lucifer reached out and gently took her hand. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. Then her lips. She kissed him back. It wasn't real. There was no passion. 

He could only think of another touch... the gentleness and realness...

The thought of someone else being here instead made his stomach turn. He knew exactly who was trying to break into his mind, but he couldn't let him. He had a duty. He had to forget about Alastor and be the man he was supposed to be. 

Lucifer pulled back and forced a smile "I'll try harder."

Lilith nodded slowly, her hand slipping away from his.

"Then let's just get through this trip, okay?" she said "One step at a time."

He watched her walk to the window and stare out at the horizon, her reflection cast in the glass.

And behind her, in the corner of his mind— a shadow with unruly curls and a crooked smile danced on a table under flickering lights.

Lucifer stood up and walked to the golden trimmed mirror on the wall, fixing his collar, straightening his face into something presentable.

He had to forget.

Forget Alastor.

Forget what it felt like to laugh... forget the taste of freedom... 

He told himself he could. And he would. 

—————————

The third class quarters were quieter now, washed out by the pale gray of the morning. Most were battling their own hangovers or working off the soreness if their joints from dancing. The music had gone, the stomping feet had stilled, and in their place was the gentle hush of a ship slowly crashing through the waves below.

Alastor sat on the edge of his bunk, legs crossed, his notebook in his lap.

Across the room, Husk leaned against the wall with a cigarette barely clinging to his lip.

"You're writing" he muttered, watching the pen scratch secret words across the page. 

"Never noticed, thanks Husker" Alastor said, voice light but tight around the edges.

From the bunk above, a new voice piped in—raspy, high-pitched, and playfully annoyed.

"So you write in a diary... what, are you like five or somethin'?" said Anthony, a lively young man with a head of messy bright blonde hair and a spider web tattoo on his arm. Alastor had befriended him on the ship the day they boarded.

"—You danced with the guy, not fell off a cliff. You must be down bad."

Alastor looked up at the blonde man "It's not that simple. I write to get words out of my head. Doesn't mean anything."

Anthony jumped down from the top bunk and flopped dramatically onto the one beside Alastor "Tell that to your face. You look lost. Hell, you were sure livin' it up last night. You're clearly not that hung ova'... you my friend, are missin' that little rich man."

"Maybe it's best to forget him, buddy" Husk said, puffing smoke toward the ceiling. Then motioning with his head towards the door, indicating he and Anthony should leave "Let him sulk. He'll hum a love song into his whiskey by tonight."

"I'm not sulking" Alastor snapped, then immediately sighed, pressing a hand to his forehead "Okay. Maybe a little."

Husk could clearly see how different his friend acted from last night. "So, what happened?"

Alastor didn't answer immediately. He looked down at the notebook again. Closing it and tucking it under his pillow.

"He went back" he finally said "To his world. To his name. I knew he would, but... still."

Husk snorted "And that's what you do? Get all soft over someone who's already slipping through your fingers."

"I don't care if he slips away" Alastor said sharply "I just... I need to know he's alright."

Anthony blinked, surprised by the sudden shift in tone.

"I don't want anything from him" Alastor said "Not his money, not his wealth. I just... I don't think I'll be able to let go unless I know he's okay."

A pause.

Then Husk grumbled, tapping ash into a tin mug. "Then go find out. You're always flapping your mouth about freedom and chasing what matters. So go chase it."

Anthony nodded, standing and stretching with a shrug "What's the worst that happens? He slams a gold-plated door in your face?"

Alastor smiled faintly, then chuckled "Maybe."

"But maybe—" Anthony added, grinning "he opens it instead."

For a long moment, Alastor said nothing. Just stared at the floor where dust floated in the sunlight.

Then he reached for his coat "I just want to see him. One more time."

——————————

Alastor stepped onto the polished wood of the first class deck, his boots suddenly too loud in the quiet morning. He'd barely slipped past the stewards, but was disguised in a more polished jacket be had borrowed from Anthony. It wasn't a perfect disguise, but no one looked too closely if you walked like you belonged up here. 

But he didn't belong. Not here. Not ever.

With extreme caution, he checked the lounge. Empty.

The dining room. Nope.

The weight room. Not a soul.

And just as a sinking weight settled in his chest, he turned a corner, nearly colliding with Lilith.

SHIT.

"Oh, Mister Hartfelt" she said, surprised. 

He tipped his head in a small nod "Lilith. A pleasure once again" his entire body tensed. 

They stood there in silence for a beat, the sun casting long lines between them.

"You're brave to come up here" she said eventually, eyes cool but not unkind.

"I've been in riskier situations than this" Alastor replied, then cleared his throat "Look, uh. I'm looking for Lucifer."

Her lips pressed together "I thought as much" She studied him for a moment, a knowing feeling growing in her chest "You were... entertaining company. Kind, even. For what it's worth, I liked you."

He blinked, surprised.

"But..." she continued, her voice tightening "you need to leave him be."

Alastor's smile faltered "I can't."

"You don't understand what he carries. The pressure. The name. It's breaking him, yes—but he won't run. He can't. Not for you. Not for anyone."

"I'm not asking him to run" Alastor said softly "I just want to see if he's going to be alright. He's a good man. He strong. But I need to know he will be alright when we arrive to New York." 

Their eyes remained locked. 

"Please" Alastor said, a last attempt.

Lilith hesitated. Her eyes, once sharp, softened just slightly "He's somewhere on the main deck"

Alastor froze.

"I only saw him this morning" she added "Didn't follow. He needed the space."

Alastor bowed his head slightly in thanks, then turned away. He didn't walk fast. Not yet. But with every step toward the stairs to the main deck, he almost broke out into a run. 

He knew exactly where to find him. 

—————————

Out of breath, he reached the end of the ship. 

There, alone, quietly leaning against the white rail of the ships stern, was Lucifer.

He wasn't moving. Just standing, hair messed slightly by the wind, the sea below crashing and curling into foam. He wasn’t in his usual bright attire, instead he wore a dark suit. Plain. Boring. 

He wasn't thinking about jumping. He was thinking about letting go. Not of life, but the grief of his freedom. 

He watched the waves below, eyes unfocused, as though if he just stared long enough, the version of himself that smiled for portraits and sealed alliances with wine and wealth would re-enter his body. It had to be this way.

He didn't hear footsteps behind him. But he felt them.

Lucifer didn't turn, not at first. He only sighed.

“Hm, I figured you'd find me" he said softly.

Alastor's voice rose over the sound of the chilled wind "You figured right."

He came to stand beside him, but didn't lean on the railing. He stood tall, hands in his coat pockets, eyes not on the sea, but on Lucifer.

The silence between them wasn't awkward— it was thick with everything unspoken.

Lucifer finally looked over "You shouldn't be up here" he said, voice low "They'll notice."

"They already did" Alastor replied "Lilith saw me. Told me to stay away from you."

Lucifer gave a small, bitter smile "She's not wrong."

"I'm not here to pull you away if that's what you think" Alastor said gently "I just... needed to know if you were alright."

Lucifer looked away again, his jaw tightening "No one ever asks me that. They ask me if I'm ready. If I'm prepared."

Alastor stepped closer. Just enough.

"I'm asking you if you'll be okay."

Lucifer's shoulders tensed. His breath came out shaky, though he tried to hide it.

"I'm not sure" he admitted "...but I will be. I'm a grown man. I'll face it."

Their eyes locked. And this time, neither looked away. The magnetic pull that had formed between them was inevitable. 

"You don't sound so sure" Alastor spoke, barely a whisper "I see right through you... you'll die if you let them seal your fate in this life. I can't go on knowing that you'll be forever trapped in it all."

Lucifer blinked away a tear that threatened to fall "Alastor..." he whispered, his heart practically tearing itself in half. 

Alastor raised his hand, the backs of his fingers brushing the side of Lucifer's face, his touch almost too soft and unsure. Lucifer didn't flinch.

"I'm too involved now" he said, softly running his thumb across his cheek "I can't just walk away."

"Why are you doing this?" The blonde whispered, his body trembling. 

He leaned in— so close that Alastor could feel his warmth. His eyes fluttered shut for half a second, and it would have taken so little to close the gap...

But he didn't.

Lucifer pulled away.

Not suddenly. Not with anger. But with a slow, aching kind of restraint.

Alastor opened his eyes, confused.

"I can't" Lucifer whispered, the words like knives in his throat.

"You can" Alastor said, voice hopeful "You just don't want to."

"That's not true" Lucifer snapped— then winced, catching himself "That's not true. That's the problem" he stepped back, out of reach. 

"I've made my choice" he said, straighter now. Harder. Like he was putting the mask back on piece by piece. "I'm engaged. My father's name is in my hands. I can't undo everything because someone made me feel—"

He stopped himself, breath hitching in his throat.

Alastor swallowed "Feel what?"

Lucifer could only look down at his feet as if searching for a lie to cover the truth. 

"I'm not— I'd never ask for you to change, Lucifer" Alastor said, stepping forward again "Not your life. Not your dreams, or wishes” he stopped, fighting he urge to not sound like he was begging. Fuck it— “I have nothing to offer. I’ve got five dollars in my pocket, I have no realistic plan when I get to New York, I don’t know what comes next… but I do know that the way I feel about you is certain. I’m not just walking away so easily.”

Lucifer turned back to him, eyes full with unshed tears and frustration.

"I love Lilith. She's my fiancé. We are to be wed and that's final. This is my choice, Alastor." 

Lie. Total lie. He had to do this, otherwise he'd never be able to move on "I'm glad I met you" he spoke softly "And I hope... I hope you find everything you're looking for in New York."

"Don't do this" Alastor said softly.

Lucifer stepped away.

"I already did."

And before Alastor could speak again, the smaller man turned— his footsteps steady, rehearsed. The kind of retreat you only learn when you've practiced walking away from who you really are.

Alastor didn't follow.

He stood alone at the back of the ship, the wind howling softly around him. It took a lot for him to simply walk back to third class. Ugh, what has he gotten himself into. He wished he just minded his own business from the start.

Chapter Text

It was another perfect evening in first class, where the world moved as it was meant to— polished, quiet, and suffocating. The sunset illuminated the room beautifully, making everyone look like they too were made of gold. 

In the dining room Lucifer sat beside Lilith, his posture perfect and pristine, dressed in a red shade that was painfully familiar to him. Adam was speaking, his tone clipped and prideful "The engagement photos are expected to be ready by the time we dock. Your father had them sent ahead for printing in the New York Times. Quite the statement, don't you think?"

Lucifer didn't answer.

Adam looked at him for a beat too long, brows drawn down with disapproval. "Ignoring us now? You're a goddamn child. Grow up, Lucifer."

Lilith shot him a look as if to say 'shut up'.

Across the dining hall, something caught Lucifer's eye. A boy no older than seven— sitting upright at a nearby table in a miniature suit, his golden hair slicked back. He was trying to use a soup spoon with exact precision, but his wrist kept wobbling.

"Wrist straight, boy" his father corrected softly but firmly "You must carry yourself properly. Always. We don't just represent ourselves, William— we represent our family. Our name."

The boy nodded obediently, trying again. 

Lucifer's breath caught in his throat. It was like watching a mirror backwards through time.

He knew that boy. Not in name. But in spirit. He knew the weight behind his eyes. The pressure. All the words dying to escape but must be swallowed down. 

Lilith was speaking again — smiling at a crew member who had just sat down near them. She was so composed. So lovely. So completely unaware that her fiancé was unraveling beside her.

Lucifer looked down at his trembling hands in his lap. 

The laughter around him— hollow. The flowers on the table— lifeless. The knot in his chest tightened until it ached. Without a word, he pushed back from the table.

"Lucifer?" Lilith asked.

"I need some air" he said quickly, rising from his seat and quickly heading towards the exit.

Adam abruptly stood from his chair "Lucifer. You return to your chair or so help me—"

He was cut off by two hands holding up their middle fingers. Lucifer didn't even turn around, just kept walking with stride. He knew Alastor would've approved of that move. 

He was already walking away before anyone could follow. Out of the dining room and into the corridor, each step further from that perfect world made him feel lighter. His jacket was too damn stiff. His collar, too tight. He loosened his tie with a frustrated tug, dropping it on the ceramic floor without looking back. 

He didn't know exactly where Alastor would be— but he would find him.

Because the truth was no longer ignorable. Not now. Not after that kiss they didn't share. Not after walking away from the only thing that ever made him feel alive.

This life— this perfectly arranged script— was a prison. One he had been trapped in for so long he forgot he could leave.

Now all that was left to do... was run.

His feet moved faster than his body could keep up, pushing past ship crew who attempted to offer assistance.

He ripped open his red jacket, a few buttons flying off and clinking on the ground now far behind him. He didn't care. 

He ran into the door leading out to the upper deck, his feet sliding on the newly polished wood just like ice. Bystanders watched in disgust as he shoved past them with no care in the world. 

He was like a bird set free from a cage. And he wasn't planning on going back. 

Lilith— they'll find her a better suitor to marry. And Adam, well he could go kiss his own ass. 

For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel any regret. He didn't look back. He only looked ahead.

—————————

He could only briefly remember his way down to the third class quarters of the ship. He passed a steward, who looked startled to see a first class passenger so deep in the underbelly of the Titanic. Lucifer ignored the look, his hand trailing along the rail as he followed the familiar muffled sounds of laughter and music behind steel doors and wooden walls.

Eventually, he reached the familiar narrow hallway where the smell of smoke and coal blended together. Loud voices rang out from the door ahead of him. He slowly pushed it open, peering inside at the larger room where they had partied the previous night. 

No sign of the man he was looking for, only familiar faces from the previous night... but seated near a small table playing cards was Husk, his ever-gruff expression painted on his face, a cigarette clinging to his lip. And across from him, slouched with both boots on the table, was Anthony. 

Lucifer hesitated, then entered the room. Both men looked up at the smaller man approaching. 

Angel blinked dramatically "Well, well, well. If it isn't Prince Pretty himself!" 

Lucifer flushed, but kept his voice calm. His eyes flicked back and forth at the two men "I'm looking for Alastor."

Husk gave him an unsure look and grunted "Didn't think you'd be back."

Angel swung his long legs off the table to sit cross-legged, smirking "You're not exactly built for third class, sweetheart."

"That doesn't matter. I need to speak with him."

The sincerity in Lucifer's voice made them both pause. Husk scratched at his chin, then nodded vaguely toward the far hallway "He went out for a smoke. Said he needed to think."

Lucifer gave a grateful nod and turned to go.

Husk then called after him "If you hurt him again, I'm throwin' you overboard, got it?"

Lucifer looked back— a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth "Duly noted, good man."

Then he disappeared into the corridor, chasing the trail of smoke and heartache.

————————

Lucifer never really thought that he would say or do when he found him. Maybe there was nothing to be said. His heart beat rapidly in his chest, his hands clammy, chest heavy. If Alastor had felt the same way he did... was it even possible to be with him? Lucifer had no idea where to go from here. Until he saw him. 

There he was. Leaning against the railing at the side of the ship, was Alastor. There was something fragile in his stillness. 

Lucifer stopped. For a long moment, he just looked. He moved slowly toward him, every step like shedding away a piece of the man he used to be. One step away from obligation. Another from fear. Another from the name he carried like a chain.

When he was close enough, Alastor finally noticed him at his side. Their eyes met.

And something inside Lucifer shattered. He didn't speak. There were no words big enough for what swelled in his chest.

"You're right about everything" he said, looking out into the orange sky. He swallowed "I'm terrified of what happens next.... But, I'm not going back."

Alastor turned his body towards the smaller man, his eyes flicking back and forth between the other pair of blue. He noticed the unusual ruggedness of his exterior. 

"I'm sorry" Lucifer began, eyes fixed somewhere on Alastor's collar to avoid his gaze "I'm sorry about—"

"Shh" Alastor interrupted, his voice barely above a whisper "I know."

There was a small smile on his lips— not mocking, not smug, just honest and forgiving. He looked down, where their hands had somehow found each other again, fingers lightly intertwined. As if they belonged there.

"I'm glad I bumped into you" he said, thumb brushing against the back of Lucifer's hand with a softness that made the blondes stomach flutter.

Lucifer let out a breathy laugh, the corners of his mouth forming into a crooked smile "More like trampled me over" His voice trembled slightly with the weight of the moment, but he added, "You're stupidly uncoordinated, you know that."

The memory of their dancing played between them— the reckless, ridiculous joy of it all— Alastor chuckled, shaking his head. Then, without a word, he leaned in and gently pressed his forehead to Lucifer's.

Lucifer froze. He was terrified— utterly and completely terrified. His skin burned where their hands touched. His heart pounded so loudly he wondered if Alastor could hear it. But more than fear, more than hesitation, there was longing.

Lucifer tilted his head ever so slightly. Inches from Alastor's lips. He paused, uncertain "I don't know what's happening" he swallowed, tracing his free hand up the other man's arm "...but it feels right."

Alastor's eyes opened to meet his. Full of longing and something else, unspoken but perfectly clear. Underneath his strong exterior, he was utterly terrified. 

Without breaking the distance between them, Alastor lifted a hand and let his fingers drift up to Lucifer's cheek. The warmth from his skin blocking out the cold winds. 

Lucifer leaned into it, melting into his touch.

Their lips met, slow, fragile, and trembling. It was if the world had gone still around them. 

When they pulled apart, they stayed close, noses brushing, breaths mingling. There was no rush to fill the silence. They didn't even need words.

Lucifer let out a shaky laugh, almost in disbelief. He didn't remember the last time he'd felt something so real. His heart ached with it.

Alastor spoke softly "So, are you—"

"I don't know what I am..." Lucifer said, looping his arms around the taller man's neck to play with his curls "... all that matters is how you make me feel."

Alastor huffed out a soft chuckle, his stomach in a nervous knot "This is crazy."

"I know, that's why I trust it."

And then Lucifer rested his head on Alastor's shoulder, burying his face in the curve of his neck, holding him like he was afraid to let go. A smile tugged at his lips, wide and uncontrollable, stretching so far it almost hurt. But it was the kind of hurt that told him he was alive. And for the first time in Lucifer's life... it was quiet.

It was peace.

It was real.

Chapter Text

The two walked hand in hand along the deck. Night had folded itself over the Atlantic, colder winds swept in which worked perfectly in their favor. No other soul dared to spend their night freezing outside their cozy rooms. They were safe from disapproving eyes. 

Alastor nudged the smaller man "You hungry?"

Lucifer nodded, the gnawing pain of hunger almost unbearable "Oh yes, yes I could definitely eat" he chuckled. 

Alastor smirked, stopping them for a moment "Hm. Well I'm not exactly craving that god awful caviar you royals scoff down"

"Awful? Oh no, Alastor..." Lucifer paused "...it's fucking gross" he added with a playful jab to his arm. 

The taller man could only smile as Lucifer spoke with careless profanity. He shivered for a moment as the wind blew cold "Hm. Well in that case, how about you get another taste of first class then?"

Alastor led Lucifer down the narrow hallway and through the crowded doorway of the familiar third class dining area. Their fingers parted only when they entered the room, and even then, it was like their hands still reached for each other long after they'd let go.

The room was already packed when they arrived. Husk sat lazily at the end of their table, a half-finished drink in his hand, while Anthony waved them over to where they sat. 

"Well well well" Anthony said with a grin as they sat down "look what the sea dragged in— neva' thought we'd see this fine first class man again."

Lucifer gave a tight smile, still adjusting to the less proper language used down here. He carefully eyed the food the two men were halfway finished.

Alastor pulled out the chair beside him and gestured for Lucifer to sit, then went to grab two bowls of whatever is was that smelled so... odd. 

He raised an eyebrow as a chipped bowl was placed in front of him. Thick stew, brown and steaming, with fat glistening across the surface like oil on water. Beside it, a slice of bread, crusty and solid.

He stared at it like it might bite him.

Anthony chuckled "Eva' see food before?"

Husk let out a wheeze of a laugh "Go on, your Highness. It won't kill ya.... Probably."

Lucifer gave a glance toward Alastor, who had already sat down and picked up his spoon, now eating with delight. 

He sighed, picked up the spoon, and took a small, cautious bite.

His eyes widened.

It was rich. Salty. Spiced with something smoky. It wasn't as bland as the food served on the upper deck. He took another bite. Then a third.

Anthony whistled "Look at that! He's one of us now."

Lucifer wiped his mouth with the corner of a napkin that wasn't really a napkin at all, and tried not to smile too openly "It's... heh, it's far more flavorful than I expected" he said, fighting the unfamiliarity of speaking with his mouth full. 

"Yeah, that's 'cause we don't care about dainty little butter cubes or portion control" Alastor chimed in. He nudged Lucifer with his shoulder, and Lucifer rolled his eyes— but his smile lingered. He took another bite.

As the dinner went on, the conversation turned into an abundance of jokes, stories, and laughter. Anthony had others around them listening to some tall tale about how he and his siblings robbed a store. Husk mostly grumbled and swore under his breath, but even he seemed lighter tonight, less weighed down.

And all the while, beneath the tablecloth, two hands met.

Fingers brushed.

Paused.

Then settled into one another.

Alastor glanced at him sideways, not saying a word, but Lucifer could feel the corners of his lips tugging upward.

After his dramatic telling of his story, Anthony plopped down in his chair, raising an eyebrow and smirked knowingly "So~" he said, voice low but teasing "what's the story with you two?"

Alastor didn't blink. "We're just old friends" he said smoothly.

Lucifer gave a slow nod, lips pressed together "Very old. Practically ancient."

Anthony laughed but didn't push further. Husk just muttered something about "finally shutting him up."

And yet, under the table, their hands didn't move. They stayed, warm and steady and full of things neither of them dared speak in front of anyone else. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Things like this were practically forbidden in a world so structured and small minded. 

Lucifer leaned slightly closer, just enough for Alastor to notice. Their knees brushed.

——————

After dinner, the crowd dispersed into smaller groups. Some peeled away for another round of drinks, others danced to a worn out fiddle and stomping boots. Lucifer joined in, without the safety of Alastor to shield him from the chaos. Alastor stood against the wall near their table, watching the other laugh and mingle with other third class passengers. 

Husk, who still remained seated at the table, leaned over ever so slightly for his friend to hear him "You really like this man, don't you?"

Alastor was pulled back from what seemed like a daydream "Wha- oh. Yeah... I think I do" he smiled softly, eyes still remaining on Lucifer. 

Husk nodded to himself, taking a swig of the last drops of beer in his bottle "Anthony and I are planning on joining the others for a late night round of poker" he paused, placing his empty bottle on the table "The rooms yours for the night if you two wanna go crazy on each other or something."

Alastors eyes tore away from Lucifer, now eying down Husk "That's not funny. You know I don't—"

The other man chuckled, standing to meet his eye level "I know" he placed a hand on Alastors shoulder with a shake "But honestly, Al. Where else can he go if he's run from everything he knows. Take the room. I'll bunk with the others for a night."

"I owe you" Alastor said, giving his buddy a thankful pat on the back. 

Lucifer noticed this across the room, he paused his dancing for a moment as he watched Husk leave the room with another group. 

He then met Alastors eyes, something behind those brown irises called him over. He aproached the taller man, who watched him with a look of awe. 

"I take it Husk wont be back for a while?" Lucifer asked, pushing back a strand of loose hair out of habit. 

"Hm. No, he'd rather gamble and drink the night away rather than hang out with two hooligans such as us" Alastor took a step away from the wall, now standing closer to the smaller man. 

Lucifer laughed at the comment "That's too bad. Guess you're stuck with lil old me. Let me catch my breath and we can get out on that dance floor again."

Alastor tilted his head toward the door "Walk with me?"

Lucifer hesitated only for a moment. Then he nodded.

They slipped out together, unnoticed by most. Their footsteps echoed softly along the narrow corridor as the chatter grew quieter behind them.

Eventually, Alastor stopped in front of a small door with flaking white paint. The number etched above it had faded, and the handle was tarnished brass.

Lucifer studied the door "Is this—"

"My room" Alastor said, quietly, as though suddenly aware of how close they were. How real this moment had become.

Lucifer looked at him, eyes soft. He said nothing as the other man opened the door. 

The room was cramped, barely enough space for a small bed, a trunk, and a crooked shelf holding books and a radio with a broken antenna. A lantern glowed in the corner, casting golden light across the worn blanket and the thin curtains over the small circular window.

Lucifer stepped inside, ducking slightly to avoid a low hanging pipe "This is where you sleep?" Lucifer asked, almost in disbelief, eyes sweeping the room.

"Home away from nowhere" Alastor said with a little grin, closing the door behind them "Believe me, I've had worse. This one doesn't leak—much."

Lucifer chuckled at the comment. Something about this rugged lifestyle had a hint of adventure in it. Lucifer's throat tightened "I didn't expect this."

"I didn't expect to show you" Alastor replied. "But you need somewhere to stay before we dock... Husk thought you'd might want to bunk here until then"

Lucifer turned to him, his heart pounding. He looked around once more— the rust stains, the crooked shelf, the dim light hanging above them. He felt something indescribable pull at his chest.

"You deserve better than this" he whispered.

Alastor smiled "Doesn't matter what I deserve. This is where I am. Take life as it comes at you."

Lucifer crossed the room and sat gently on the edge of the lower bunk. It creaked beneath his weight. He looked down at his hands, clasped tightly in his lap "As much as I appreciate the offer..." he swallowed "I don't think I can stay here."

Alastor didn't move. He knew the answer, but asked anyway "Why?"

"Because I'll want more" Lucifer admitted, voice barely a breath "More from you..." he added quietly "And if I want more... I'll destroy everything. My name, your safety. We'll be caught. Or worse... I'll ruin the only good thing I've found in my entire damn life."

Definitely not the answer he thought... Alastor stepped closer, his voice steady and gentle. "Lucifer..."

"If I choose to stay I might make it harder to leave. It's inevitable, Alastor. Our lives cant be meshed together no matter how much we want it."

Alastor knelt in front of him, one hand reaching up— slowly and delicately resting over Lucifer's.

Lucifer looked into his eyes full with want, fear and hope "I want to believe this won't destroy us" he said.

Alastor's thumb brushed lightly over his knuckles. "Then believe me when I say it won't."

Lucifer forced a smile, somewhat embarrassed he was spilling his guts like this. 

The taller man thought for a moment "Look— it's been what, two days?" He said, catching the other man's gaze again "We don't have to plan our whole lives before we even get off this ship."

Lucifer felt ashamed. Alastor was right, it was silly to plan and expect a whole future with someone you barely know. 

"I can see the fire in you, Lucifer" he said "The only way to keep it from burning out is to live every day as it comes at you. You'll burn out if you worry what's next."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You've had to lock away your ambitions for too long. You're just starting to live."

Lucifer released a breath he didn't realize he was holding "I don't know what I'll do when we get to New York."

And then, ever so carefully Alastor leaned in. Their lips met again, warm and trembling. There was no rush, or fear of any eyes looming over them. 

When they pulled apart, Lucifer looked into the other eyes before exhaling a quiet, almost shaky laugh "I can't go back tonight."

Alastor nodded, no hesitation in his voice "Then stay."

Lucifer looked around again "Never slept on a bunk before" he chuckled nervously. 

Alastor smiled softly "I know" he stood and patted the mattress above "I'll take the higher grounds."

Lucifer didn't argue. It was then he realized all his sleepwear was tucked away in his walk-in closet up in first class. Shit.

He shed his jacket and hung it carefully on the bunks railing, then loosened the top button of his undershirt to make it more breathable. Alastor could only smirk at his mannerisms. 

The awkward silence that followed was almost unbearable. 

Alastor took the upper bunk, the weight of the day making him sleepy. 

Lucifer was hesitant to get under the covers, he had no idea when they'd been washed last. The familiar smell of the man he'd grown close to lingered and clung to the blanket and pillowcase. He realized that this was Alastors bunk.

"Thanks again" he said softly, setting in under the covers. The bed frame was so stiff under his back. It was clear we wasn't going to get much sleep tonight. 

——————

The room was quiet except for the ship's distant creaking of pipes clanking now and then, muffled voices echoing through the walls like ghosts passing by. 

Lucifer lay on his back, eyes wide open, staring at the wooden slats of the bed above. The mattress was thin, the blanket too short, and everything felt far too close. He turned over, then back again. His body didn't know how to settle. His thoughts wouldn't hush.

He didn't belong here, and he knew it.

Above him, the mattress creaked.

"You alright?" Alastor's voice came sleep-heavy, thick and gentle in the ambiance. 

Lucifer yawned "I'm fine" he lied "Go back to sleep."

There was a pause. Then another creak. The sound of movement. A soft thud as Alastor landed barefoot on the floor.

He stepped into view, eyes still hazy, hair tousled more than usual, his undershirt clinging slightly from the heat of sleep. He looked down at Lucifer for a moment, then at the cramped bed.

"You're not fine" he said plainly. 

Lucifer let out a quiet and defeated sigh "I don't sleep well in unfamiliar places. The sounds, the voices. It's just too loud."

Alastor didn't reply— just lifted the edge of the blanket and slipped in beside him.

The bed creaked under the added weight. They were shoulder to shoulder now, knees touching, the narrow mattress demanding they be close.

"You uh, you don't have to—" Lucifer began.

"I want to."

It wasn't flirtation. It wasn't teasing. Just quiet warmth. Reassurance, without pressure.

Lucifer watched him for a long second before breathing out slowly. The tension in his shoulders began to melt. His eyes softened. The noise inside him quieted, little by little.

He shifted, hesitating briefly, then rested his head on Alastor's chest.

The steady thrum of his heartbeat put his at ease as everything around him quieted with each beat. 

Alastor, without saying anything, brought an arm around him, letting his hand rest lightly at Lucifer's back. Their legs brushed under the thin blanket, warm and tangled and still.

Lucifer closed his eyes.

"I've never done this before" he whispered.

"What? Sleep?" Alastor murmured, his usual playfulness fighting against exhaustion.

The smaller man exhaled a tired chuckle "Allow myself to choose peace over anything."

And then, with a tenderness that trembled just beneath the surface, Alastor pressed a kiss to Lucifer's hair. Barely there. Just enough.

Lucifer didn't flinch. He didn't pull away. Instead, he let out the smallest breath of peace, his fingers curling gently into Alastor's shirt as if afraid it would all disappear.

Tomorow was uncertain. There was no doubt a search party was already on the prowl to hunt him down. But Alastor was right, live every day as it comes at you. There was five days left until they were set to arrive to New York on April 17th. There was plenty of time... They'd figure it out, but for now sleep was all they wanted.