Chapter Text
“Ready the prisoners. We are about to anchor at the Imperial city.” I hear someone shout from the deck above, which wakes me up. I groan, stretching myself and getting a few satisfying pops inside my joints before sitting up on my hammock to see what all the commotion is all about. Well…I would love to if they didn’t cover up my cell with thick layers of fabric to isolate me from the other prisoners. Who, by the way, are waking up as several groans and curses echo throughout the underbelly of the ship. Some even directed their grievances at their imperial captors. Calling them cowards and bastards and the like.
“Pipe it down. You lot should at least be grateful that we aren’t throwing you all overboard with lead balls attached to your limbs. Now, open the trap door.” I hear one of my captors shout, followed by the click clack sound of someone unlocking a door just above us. Even with those blankets covering up my cell I can see sunlight peeking through the fabric as heavy footsteps descend into the ship I have been calling home for at least a couple of days now.
Funny how life works sometimes. One moment I was happily chilling at my place with a cup of coffee and playing some video games to pass the time, and the next I suddenly found myself inside a cave before getting a potato sack flung over my head. I would have panicked but everything happened so goddamn fast that I didn’t even have the time to shout “You won’t have my kidneys!” to my kidnappers. And now I am here, swaying back and forth on my hammock while trying to get the grogginess out of my system. If only I had a cup of coffee. But apparently coffee doesn’t exist in Tamriel, a concept which should horrify me to no end if the idea that I am in fucking TAMRIEL now isn’t taking center stage inside my psyche.
Like WOW. I mean holy shit what the actual fuck! I mean I only just recently finished Oblivion (Remastered) for the very first time and now I am fucking IN TAMRIEL of all places if those conversations I’ve been listening to these past few days are legit or not. Hearing places like High Rock, Valenwood, or Skyrim in their conversations, just to name a few, and I think I’ve even heard someone mention Emperor Uriel Septim the VII -Patrick fucking Stewart- by name. I’m still on the fence, but the fact that I just suddenly woke up in the middle of nowhere before getting stuffed in a cell and transported to this rickety ship soon after does make one pause and think. Especially if they don’t even know what fucking coffee is when I tried to ask them.
I really must be in Tamriel it seems, or at least inside a very vivid dream. I mean it is not the first time I fell asleep while on the couch and it certainly won’t be the last…IF this is a dream that is. Something I am also still on the fence on.
No, I haven’t done the all so famous trick of pinching myself to see if it hurts or not. I still wanna be surprised, plus, I haven’t really been treated badly so far. I’ve been getting three meals a day and even the guards were kind enough to ask me what I would like to drink. That’s how I found out that these fuckers don’t even know what coffee actually is which shattered my disposition somewhat. But hey I could also be in some bumfuck corner of Africa where some natives have never heard what coffee is so there is that. But only time will tell.
I’ll have enough opportunities to freak out once the truth comes out. Until then, I guess I’ll play along and see where this leads us, and by us, I mean me, my red shirt, my gray colored sweat pants and my heavily worn-out flip flops, and my coffee mug which I also have for some reason. But hey I’m not complaining.
“Rise and SHINE!” The rough voice from before calls out. “Unlock the cells and chain the prisoners together. We’ve got a schedule to follow so hurry up.” I hear him bark followed by the sounds of cells unlocking and chains clambering and moving about. Some of the prisoners groan while others hiss and some even give their captors some choice words followed by the obvious sounds of sticks meeting flesh or someone’s skulls.
“All of you SHUT UP! Drag them off the ship and onto the docks and wait there!” The same rough voice orders before I can hear a set of heavy footsteps approaching my cells.
“What about that one?” I hear a young voice ask.
“I don’t know. We’ve simply received orders to escort him to the imperial prison and make sure he doesn’t get seen by anyone.” He explains which makes me raise an eyebrow. But other than that I stay quiet.
“Here!” I watch a shadow approaching through the blankets covering my cell. “Put these on and hurry up.” He orders as a brown colored robe gets pushed through beneath my cell door.
I just shrug before picking it up and finding out that it is indeed a robe. Stitched together out of some old rags, but clean enough, I suppose. It even comes with a hood designed to cover my entire head. No peep holes, which I find slightly annoying, but I won’t start to argue with someone who chain smokes at least 6 packs of cigarettes each and every day. At least judging by how he sounds. Also, that shadow pressing against the blankets looks massive. Better do what he wants and write a terrible review later. Their rooms are shit, the other guests are obnoxious, and the pillows are just bundles up pieces of straw. But hey, at least the food is decent. Maybe a bit too salty for my taste, but I’m on a wooden ship, so that’s a given.
I put on the robe and hood before voicing out my readiness towards my captors.
“Good, now unlock the cell.” I hear “batman” order, followed by someone unlocking the cell door and opening it. They really need to oil those hinges, they sound absolutely horrible.
“Alright, bind his hands and lead him outside with the other prisoners. A cart is already waiting outside for him. So, get a move on.”
“Aye captain.” The younger one replies.
“Ok hold still, this won’t hurt.” He reassured me while tying my hands together with what feels like just a piece of simple rope. His hands don’t feel like hands though. They're covered in hair, LOTS of hair…almost like fur now that I think about it. Maybe it’s a Khajit but I can only roughly count 3 fingers from what I feel. If only this damn hood had some eyeholes to see through it, then I wouldn’t be so damn confused.
Just you wait Alex, all will be revealed in due time.
“Alright there we go. Now just follow me and watch the steps alright?” My three fingered captor instructs before leading me up the stairs and out into the open air where I can finally feel a bit of wind flowing through robes which honestly feels nice after spending days inside that cell.
I can already make out a lot of commotion, people chatting and arguing in the distance, the sound of water moving up and down against the docks, and of course, my own steps hitting wood before eventually transitioning over to stone.
Dry land at last.
“You, get in that cart and stay quiet. The same goes for the rest of you but you don’t get the luxury of getting a ride to your new home. So, GET MOVING!” I hear a new voice bark followed by some groans and quiet swearing.
“NOW LET’S MOVE!” He ordered as the cart began to jerk forward.
Well, at least I get to ride in style. It would be even better if I could FUCKING SEE!! But instead, I have to rely on my good ol’ ears to piece together the world around me as I get carted off to some prison. Again, I am still on the fence on the -is this real of not?- idea, and if I really somehow ended up on Tamriel or not. I mean, the possibility is there, it’s not the weirdest concept out there, there are much stranger things you can find online, and stories about people who just disappeared from the face of the earth. Never to be seen again.
Maybe now I am one of them. Getting Alice in Wonderland-ed to a crazy and magical world full of fame and fortune. Or maybe I’m just overthinking things? I tend to do that a lot whenever I get bored. Yeah, bored. Getting bored at the possibility of having beengotten whisked away to a world previously thought to only exist inside of a video game. Some may call this strange but others just call me crazy or insane.
So, which one is it? Both words are completely different from one another. So, am I crazy or just insane? Food for thought.
“HALT!” I hear someone shout, crashing my train of thought. The wagon also suddenly jerked backwards, indicating that we indeed stopped. Also, wer'e already here?
“Here we are. Your new homes. I hope you’ll all enjoy it, because you won’t be leaving for a very long time.” The same guy from before joked which was met with relative silence.
I mean to be fair, it was a terrible joke. I mean, where was the punchline or even the buildup? I’ll give it a 3 out of 10 for effort.
“What do we have here? Are those the new shipment of prisoners from High Rock?” A new voice asked. This one sounded just as rough as the other one back at the ship. Only with fewer cigarettes.
“Aye.” The other one howls. “From traitors to murderers. Here to serve their sentence. The usual really.” He dismisses.
“I see. You’ll have to hand me their papers so that I can catalog them properly. For now, just have them line up against that wall over there while I review records.” I then hear him pause. “What about that guy?” He then asks, probably pointing at me. Rude. You don’t just randomly point at people like that. It is uncalled for.
“Him?” The other one replied. “He's just going straight to the dungeon, no due process needed.” He states. I guess I must be special. I do feel special sometimes… or at least that’s what my neighbors always call me. The “Special One”.
“That bad huh? Well just get him off the cart then.” The other guy states.
“You heard that? You on the cart, get off.” The other guy barks. Ok he's starting to get a bit too bossy for my taste. If this is indeed just a dream then I must tell my own mind to at least say please when bossing me around.
I should do that right now.
“How about a simple please. Saying please can go a long way.” I scold. Yeah, I’d shown him. I bet he is coping and seething now.
“Prisoner, please step off that cart so we can continue with the process.” The younger one from before steps in, you know the one with the very hairy three fingered hands.
I smile underneath my hood. “See, that was a lot better.” I reply before getting up. “And thanks to thou for being so civil I shall react in due ki…” I trip and fall off the cart instead. Face first of course. Damn flip flops getting caught on my Robes.
“Whoa there careful!” The younger one reacts in shock. “Hey are you alright?” He asks. Probably leaning over me.
I can hear a few quiet snickers in the distance.
“Just put this fool in a cell and be done with it.” The less throat cancer sounding guy hollers.
“Here I can help you up.” The young one offered. I just groan before just helping myself despite my hands still being tight together. Damn that hurt I hope I didn’t break my no…I pause.
Wait…it hurts…does that mean…
“Come on prisoner, follow me. Nice and easy alright?” My train of thought gets halted as I get pulled along. I would guess my “new” prison cell. “Be careful, watch your step.” He warns as the warmth of the outside world suddenly gives way to the cool and dark interior that is a dungeon. Other than that I can’t really tell where we are going because of this damn POTATO BAG on my head. All I can tell is that we are going down with several doors opening and closing as I get dragged along.
“Well, it seems like it’s going to be your lucky day there, Valen. You are about to get a new neighbor. Oh, how fortunate for you eh?” A new voice taunts as my escort stops. Almost making me bump into him as a result.
Again, I can’t fucking see because of this damn hood.
All I hear is a “Hmph” coming from my right as my escort starts to fumble around with some keys before opening a creaky-sounding door in front of me.
“There, now step in prisoner.” My captor instructs me.
“Do I at least get a bed and access to your prison's Wi-Fi?” I ask.
“Prisoner please just step into your cell so that I can untie your arms. Don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be.” He requests, still trying to be respectful but with a bit more sternness behind his tone this time. Probably because even he is running out of patience it seems.
I quietly groan. “Fine.” I reply before complying.
“There, now hold still so that I can undo those robes.” He states before doing just that.
“There we go. Once I lock the cell you can remove your cloak and hood if you wish. Don’t cause any trouble here.” He states as I rub my wrist to get the soreness out of them.
The cell door then closes followed by a pair of footsteps disappearing and another door closing upstairs.
“FINALLY!” I exclaim. “I can finally take this damn hood off and breathe. Bloody hell.” I exhale before just dropping the damn thing on the floor.
“Wi-fi password. As if having access to Wi-fi is doing me any good when I don’t have my phone. What was I thinking.” I scolded myself.
“What the…who and what the hell are you?” A voice suddenly echoes behind. I turn around, expecting to see the other prisoner mentioned earlier, but instead I come face to face with a little gray fox looking with blue eyes and red colored highlights on top of its head and around its paws. It looks at me with confusion before shaking its head and giving me a disgusted look.
“Geeze, you're the ugliest Pokémon I’ve ever seen, and trust me, I've seen a lot of ugly looking Pokémon during my lifetime, and YOU easily take the cake. You even smell weird.” The little thing taunts before chuckling to itself at my expense.
At that point, my mind just decided it had had enough after these first couple of days as I just fell over and lost consciousness right then and there. Oh and the fact that I haven’t slept at all for these first couple of days since waking up in that damn cave also doesn't help with that. Because I WAS under the impression that all of this was just a dream. Because why would I need to go to sleep if I’m already asleep? Makes very little sense, does it? Well, guess I was wrong.
There better be a mug of coffee right next to me when I wake up or so help me…