Archive of Our Own ^beta

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in this fanfic the two camps haven't interacted, so people at camp half blood don't know who Jason is.

Nicos POV:

I wish I could just hate Percy, it would make things so much easier, but no matter how hard I try I can't bring myself to hate him and I mean how could I? Even though I try to act like I hate him I feel like it's painfully obvious that I don't. Besides Percys always looking out for me, its kinda nice actually, but its annoying that he always feels like he has to protect me just because im younger than him although technically im older because of the lotus casino but apparently that doesn't count 'because I didn't age' some bullshit if you're asking me. I do feel guilty though because I think most of the reason that he tries to look out for me so much is because of what happened to Bianca. I know I blamed him but I know it wasn't his fault I was just angry and upset.

I was finally going to clear things up, I didn't want Percy to think I was even more weird than he already thought I was just because I have a crush on him. I mean it's pretty pathetic really, I think I've gotten better at hiding it though, I don't follow him around like a puppy (as much) anymore. It's not like it was ever going to happen anyways, I mean he's completely straight and basically married to Anabeth, everyone around camp says they're made for each other, it's rather annoying really. Maybe after i've told him that i'm completely over the crush, because theres no way i'm telling him that its actually a lot more than a crush, ill disappear for a bit and go see Jason.

okay here goes I have no idea how i'm even going to phrase it but I guess its fine to just go with the flow... I started to search for Percy but I couldn't see him anywhere, maybe I have been saved for another day, no I need to do this now or I never will. After looking for nearly an hour I found him anddd great he's with Annabeth what a shock, its fine I will just say it in front of her I mean if I don't go over there now I will never end up saying it.

I studied his face, his sea green eyes, his grin, his ruffled black hair. I took a deep breath it was always more difficult to lie to Percy than to lie to anybody else, I couldn't really explain it but it just felt worse and like I shouldn't be doing it but here goes... I stepped unto him “So, as you probably guessed” I said, “I mean since we’re going to be spending at least a year seeing each other around camp, I think I should clear the air as other people know already.”

Percy’s smile wavered. “What do you mean?” my heart was beating incredibly fast and I took a deep breath “For a long time,” I said, “I had a crush on you. I just wanted you to know.” Percy looked at me.Then at Annabeth as if to check that he’d heard correctly.  Then back at Nico.  “You –" 

“Yeah,” I said.  “You’re a great person.  But I’m over that.” AHH that's probably the biggest lie I had ever told anyone and telling Percy felt wrong but I couldn't take it back now because then it would look like I still have a crush on him which is the last thing I want.

“You … so you mean — “ Percys mouth was open in shock and confusion? I thought he would've already known but apparently not?

“Right.” I confirmed as confident as possible.

“Wait,” Percy said.  “So you mean — “

“Right,” Nico said again.  But it’s cool.  We’re cool.  I mean, I see now … you’re cute, but you’re not my type.”

“I’m not your type. . . Wait.  So — “ he looked even more puzzled and kind of speachless and then I had realised my mistake and I decided to quickly make my exit.

“See you around, Percy,” I said.  “Annabeth.” that kinda sounded rude to her and it's not that I don't like Annabeth it's just that I wouldn't mind if I didn't see her around and I wasn't planning on it.

why why why did I call him cute, now he's just going to think that I am really weird, butt maybe it will be okay as the whole point of the conversation was that I DIDN'T like him anymore... maybe me calling him cute will make him realise it was all a lie I can feel the panic start to set in. No no it will be fine, percy looked so confused that it might not have even registered, Annabeth on the other hand... Oh well I don't care too much what she thinks, unless she impacts what percy thinks about it oh god they might talk about it and maybe everyone will know about the pathetic crush I have on him.

I needed to go see Jason... and just get away I don't want to see Annabeth and Percy cuddled up somewhere later that would just feel like another knife to the chest.

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NICOS POV

I cant believe that I just did that and Percy seemed confused? I thought he would've already known with how embarrassingly obvious I was (am). Now he's just going to think that I'm even more weird and he's never going to want to speak to me again, maybe that's for the best and then I won't have to die of embarrassment ever again. I need to get out of here before Percy realises that I did call him cute and have in fact not gotten over my crush, that will be an awkward conversation. Just what if he does hate me now, oh god I hope he doesn't, I will never admit it to anybody except maybe Jason out loud but I actually kinda like the somewhat of a friendship that I have with him and now I might have ruined it. I need to get away from camp half-blood quickly, I walk into the darkness of the shadows and think of Camp Jupiter.

As I step out of the shadows at camp Jupiter I feel more tired than I usually would, I decide to ignore it as I always do and began my search for Jason, it didn't take long and he didn't look surprised to see me at all, I suppose because I often switch between the two camps. Jason was my first real friend as I wouldn't really say me and Percy were friends or anyone else at camp half blood so it feels easier to talk to him about stuff than anybody else. He hasn't spotted me yet so I decided to creep up behind him and scare him a little, just because it's kinda (very) funny. 

As I'm behind him, I tap his shoulder and he jumps up in surprise and I try my best to act innocent and keep a straight face, 'whoops sorry Jason I didn't mean surprise you' I say trying to keep a straight face. He immediately calls bullshit and I can tell by the look on his face it's priceless, damn I wish I had a camera right now this shit is too good. I burst out laughing, and Jason just looks less amused, 'Nico, you and I both know that you chose to sneak up on me.' busted. 'okayyy but you make it so easy' I reply. He smiles slightly ' yeah yeah I missed you too'

'so Nico what's up I can tell you havent just come here to mess around...' he said and I sighed 'ikindatoldpercythatihadacrushonhim' I blurted out. ' he looked confused which was kinda an usual look for him, weird, 'erm Nico you're gunna have to repeat that but slower I didn't understand any of it' he said still looking puzzled. 'oh right erm I kinda told Percy that I had a crush on him' I repeated whilst looking at the floor.

He genuinely looked surprised and it made me realise exactly what I had done and that I started to panic again. ' I mean I don't even know why I did it because apparently by the looks of things he didn't know in the first place and now ive fucked things up and he's going to hate me forever and..' Jason then cut me off ' woah Nico calm down, how about you go from the beginning and tell me exactly what happened and then we can see how good or bad it actually went yeah?' his tone was reassuring and made me take a deep breath, right even if things weren't okay at camp half-blood I still had people at camp Jupiter (even if they aren't Percy) and Jason would never hate me for it, as he's made clear several times.

I took in a breath before I started and told Jason everything. About how I walked up to him and Annabeth and said some something about us spending a year together at camp and then how I said I had had a crush on him for a long time, then I finished it off by telling him that he's 'cute but not my type' before saying goodbye and being slightly rude to Annabeth at the same time. Once I had finished telling the story with pretty accurate details, I looked up at Jason to see his reaction.

'Nico, honestly it sounds like Percy was just confused and didn't understand what you were saying, I mean obviously you don't know how he reacted after that but I think all things considered that went pretty well.' he said with a smile. 'you really think so?' I asked,  'yeah of course I wouldn't lie to you Nico, besides from what you've said about Percy I don't think he's the type to hate you over something like this' he responded. I thought about it and realised that he was right. 'Yeah thanks Jason, that actually really helped' I hugged him and felt a sense of relief wash over me as I hoped that it would all be okay in the end. 

'you are staying here for a bit though right?' asked Jason 'we could kinda do with some help with training.. and I supposeeee its nice to have you around as well' he said with a smirk on his face.

'yeah of course I am, I'm not ready to go back yet and besides, somebody needs to kick you're ass at training.' I said with a smile.

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PERCYS POV:

Nico HAD a crush?... on me?!?! what I (and many others) thought he liked Annabeth and that's why he was always so fidgety around me and her, but turns out he actually had a thing for me? I had to confirm with Annabeth to check that I hadn't made the whole thing up in my head and turns out I didn't?

'ermm Annabeth what just happened?' I asked scratching the back of my head in confusion had I misheard... surely Nico didn't have a thing for me! Annabeth just smirked at me for a second before she said 'Percy did you not hear him? He said he used to like you' huh?? so I hadn't misheard? Nico had really come up to me and said the he had a crush on me, that I was cute but not his type. As I was still processing the information my brain caught on one word... had??? Annabeth looked like she was about to walk off, 'wait I mean he had a crush on me?' I asked Annabeth as she was about to go, 'yeah Percy like its in the past, don't think about it too much.' she said with a smile before walking off in her cabins direction. what how could I not think about it, NICO DI FREAKING ANGLIO had a crush on me??

I just... I mean... I... I don't understand, I thought Nico hated me but he actually had a crush on me??? I mean I don't have a clue why Nico is way cooler than me and I feel like I'm not very interesting compared to him, I mean people literally call him the ghost king like what. Maybe that's what he meant when he said I wasn't his type, like he said I was cute right so maybe there's something about me as a person he doesn't like now? Maybe he's not into cute? Is there something wrong with me now, I don't understand what's changed, oh god now he doesn't have a crush on me will he realise that I'm nowhere near as cool and interesting as him and he will hate me for real?! Why doesn't he have a crush on me anymore "I'm over it" he'd said, was it something I had done or maybe he found someone better? Why do I care so much anyways? AHHH I let out a sigh before going to train.

I was kinda not doing too well at sword fighting, which was weird as usually I have no trouble beating anybody at camp, but now even some of the newer arrivals were able to disarm me pretty quickly, Chiron looked worried and so did Annabeth. Chiron pulled me over to the side, 'Percy is everything okay?' he asked 'something on your mind, you don't seem very focused' my mind was still going around in circles it was hard to think of anything else, Chiron coughed a bit.. 'huh oh right erm yeah training sorry I don't really know what's up today' I apologised, he looked as though he could tell I was lying but decided not to press about it 'maybe give training a miss for today then' he said with a worried look on his face before walking towards the archery to see how that was going.

If I wasn't going to train, what else would I do, swim of course! I decided to go back to my cabin and change, before heading to the lake to clear my head. I quickly changed and headed off hoping I wouldn't bump into anyone on the way, as I didn't really feel like talking when nothing made sense to me at the minute.

If anything being in the water just left me even more confused, because I have time to really think about it and I don't know anything anymore, I mean I really thought Nico hated me but apparently it was the opposite. Maybe now we can actually be like proper friends, which is what I've wanted for ages, basically since I met the guy and realised that yeah okay he's slightly a dork and he asked a lot of questions but past all that he was an interesting person. I just still can't really believe that he likes me, liked Percy, he liked you. Right yeah I mean obviously he doesn't anymore. At that thought I submerged my self in the water and began to swim.

When I arrived back at my cabin after a few hours by the lake, I found that Annabeth was in there waiting for me, 'Percy I think we need to talk' she said with a solemn expression on her face, I gulped as this was the last thing I needed was some kinda bad news, 'yeah alright let me change quick' I said taking in a deep breath as my mind raced with possibilities of what was to come.