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Chapter Text

The sky is blue, and the sun is shining when she leaves the academy dorm. Kestra is inclined to take this as a sign that today is going to be a good day. Which is what she needs. She needs a little encouragement. She’s much more excited than she anticipated.

And apparently, others are, too.

She immediately spots the familiar figure waiting for her on a bench close to the gate.

Kestra shakes her head as she walks up to him, but although she wants to pretend that she is annoyed with him, she can’t.

“Good morning, Captain Riker,” she greets him as she gets close to him. “Don’t you have some classes to teach or some papers to grade?”

“I do, Cadet.” Her father returns as he gets up. “However, since I’m starting a little later today, I thought I could walk you over. If that’s alright with you.”

Kestra grins. Her voice is full of affection, as she answers. “Of course, it is.”

Happily, he offers her his arm, and she takes it without hesitation.

“You realize, you’ll be early, right?” He teases her as they start walking.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a little ahead of time,” she argues decidedly.

After all, she wants to make a good first impression on her supervisor. He’ll decide how much of the more interesting things she’ll be allowed to do.

“Right.”

“Does Mom know you’re here?” Kestra asks as they walk down the street.

“Actually, I didn’t know myself when I left the house I was coming here,” he argues. After another moment of silence, however, he admits defeatedly, “But she probably knew nevertheless.”

Kestra laughs.

Naturally, she knows why he has come here to accompany her to Starfleet Medical on the first day of her internship. Her parents would never interfere in her career, let alone give unsolicited advice on the decisions she makes for herself. But that doesn’t mean they weren’t concerned when she told them in which department she would be doing her mandatory rotation within the medical branch of Starfleet.

“Nervous?” Her father asks her right away, although with utmost gentleness.

“More than I anticipated,” she admits. It's not her style to pretend, especially not with those she loves.

Her father pats her hand.

“You’ll do great.” He says with conviction. “Don’t forget to say hello to Talov for me. And tell him that your mother and I expect him to treat you well.”

“First of all, for me he is ‘Doctor Talov’ and also, I'm certainly not going to tell him that last one,” Kestra replies, now feeling a little annoyed after all. “You may have been his captain but he's my boss for the next weeks, Dad!”

But he is clearly unimpressed by her attitude.

“Well, you still make sure to tell your mother if your boss gives you a hard time. He did have a serious soft spot for her back in the day,” he exclaims quite cheerfully. “Not that I could blame him, of course. Anyone in their right mind should be in love with her. Actually, I think most people are. You can be sure she never had any trouble finding company back on the Enterprise.”

“Uh, Dad, seriously?” She exclaims a little tortured.

“Honey, trust me, your mother has broken a lot of hearts over the years.”

“As opposed to you, or what?” She snorts. But he quickly passes over her last remark.

“I just wanted to say that Doctor Talov has always admired your mother greatly, as she undoubtedly deserves, and that this might be useful information for you.”

He winks at her from the side, but as he continues, his tone is much more serious and so are his words.

“Talov would never admit to it, but when Thad got sick, he was devastated he couldn’t do anything. He felt he’d let us down. I know I’m not the counselor in the family, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he took over the department for research of rare neurological diseases after his active time. What happened to your brother marked him, too, in a way. And since you’re going to work for him, I just think you should know that.”

Kestra nods, her lips pressed together tightly but she doesn't say anything back. For a moment, they both hang on to their thoughts as they walk on.

It never occurred to her to draw a line between her brother’s disease and the fact that Doctor Talov has chosen this specific area of research. And though she understands why her father tells her that, it’s not as if she expects to have a lot of contact with the doctor himself.

She already got informed about the procedure of her internship. For the few weeks she’ll be on duty in the department, she’ll mostly be doing lab work, supervised by the nurse who she was assigned to. After all, this is about people’s lives and therefore, the stakes are high.

She truly hopes she’ll be up to it.

It is only when Kestra notices her father slowing down his steps that she realizes they are almost there. She is surprised, however, when he stops well before the entrance to the building where she has to go.

“Don't worry, wild girl, I won't embarrass you by walking you in.” He assures her with a gentle smile. “I hope you have a very good first day. I can't wait to hear all about it at dinner tonight.”

Then his tone again changes significantly.

“I’m really proud of you, Kestra, for doing this. Thad would be, too.”

There is a sad expression in the gentle look he gives her that almost breaks her heart. Spontaneously, Kestra gets on her toes and when she flings her arms around him, he hugs her.

“Thanks Dad,” she murmurs. “I love you.”

Kestra feels how he presses her a little tighter in response. But then he quickly releases her and composes himself.

“I’ll leave you to it now, Cadet.”

With another wink he turns and walks away with fast, decisive steps. Feeling a little worried Kestra looks after him, hoping he’ll be alright.

But when he vanishes around the next corner, she turns towards the entrance of the building again, ready to focus on making a good first impression, like she planned.

Unfortunately, the very next second she runs right into a young man who was passing her by in a hurry. She was so lost in thoughts she didn’t see him coming, has no chance to brace herself for the impact.

And since he’s easily six ft two with broad shoulders he knocks her right off her feet. 

Kestra falls to the ground, crying out. “Damn it!”

“Easy there.” The man calls her out with light laughter as he looks down on her. “A Starfleet officer should always watch their language, Cadet. Don’t they teach such basics anymore at the Academy these days?”

“At least they teach us not to knock people over,” she replies angrily. Even though she knows it wasn’t his fault she can’t stand his condescending tone.

He’s older than she is, his blonde hair is chin long, and while he is human, his forehead shows he also must have some Klingon ancestors. And she also notices his uniform. Starfleet Medical, rank of Ensign. So, he’s an officer.

Oops.

Before she can utter the excuse she automatically has on her lips, he shoots back.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I really should’ve known you’d bump into me.” His voice is dripping with irony.

Kestra knows it would be wiser not to react to that. But since she cannot stand being called ‘sweetheart’ by a total stranger, officer or no officer, and especially not in a tone like that, she isn’t shy to make a snarky return. Because if he thinks he can intimidate her, he’s wrong.

“And I’m sorry to see caring about people is not a mandatory skill for serving at Medical anymore,” she returns, while she gets back on her feet. “At least my parents taught me the basic curtesy of asking someone I knocked over if they were okay. But I guess manners aren’t for everyone. Sir.”

Without waiting for a reply, she turns around and angrily storms off with fast steps, running right into the building.

***

Even though the exchange with that obnoxious ensign really got her blood pressure up, the one good thing about it is that it erased all her previous nervousness.

As she registers at the entrance of the department, the very friendly secretary there tells her that the nurse who is going to supervise her internship isn’t in yet and asks her to make herself comfortable in the waiting area.

When she enters the room it’s empty except for a girl of about twelve years. She sits in the corner, focused on a Vulcan logic puzzle cube that’s obviously part of the inventory of this room. She smirks amused. Typical of Talov to offer such a device to his patients to pass the time. She must remember to tell her father about that, he’ll love it.

Kestra greets the girl in a low voice, and then takes a seat opposite her, takes out her PADD and starts getting over her preparations for today again. The nurse who she was assigned to send her a list of specific diseases she should familiarize herself with in advance as she would be helping with the research on them during her internship.

It’s a rather gruesome list of super rare but extremely severe diseases you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. Of course, she already knows all the facts by heart, and only goes through her notes again to pass the time.

When her eyes wander over the edge of her PADD she notices the girl has already solved the cube and is activating it again to give her a new variant to crack.

“You’re pretty good at that.” She says, honestly impressed.

The girl shrugs. “I spend a lot of time here, waiting,” she says as if it was nothing special.

But it is. Most human adults would not be able to solve the cube as fast as she just did. Yet, since she recognizes a young girl who doesn’t want to stand out, she simply changes the subject.

“I hate waiting.” She smiles. “And yet, I’m always early.”

“Why?” The girl stops assembling the cube and looks at her interested.

“Because I also hate being late.” Kestra admits. “And much more than waiting.”

The girl grins at that before she inquires, “Are you waiting for Doctor Talov? My mom is with him and that usually takes a while.”

Poor kid, Kestra can’t help thinking, struck by the routine with which she’s saying this. Her mother must be one of Talov’s patients.

But she is quick to answer her question, shaking her head, admitting, “No, I’m from the academy and I’m doing an internship here, starting today. I’m waiting for someone from the department to show me around.”

“I see.”

There is something about her that makes Kestra just go on talking.

“To be honest, I’m a little anxious.”

“Why that?”

“Several reasons, I guess.” Kestra says thoughtfully. “I don’t particularly like hospitals, but as a cadet I must work at Starfleet Medical for a while, so that’s one thing. Also, the work that’s being done here is so important and I’m afraid to mess things up. Plus, I don’t want to disappoint Doctor Talov. He’s an old friend of my parents.”

“Doctor Talov is cool.” The girl replies with conviction.

Kestra scrutinizes her, and lowering her voice, she asks, “Can you keep a secret? Because I don’t want the other people working here to know this about me.”

The girl’s eyes light up excitedly. “Sure.”

They lean towards each other conspiratorially.

“He was the doctor attending my birth,” Kestra whispers.

Her opposite chuckles. “Really?”

“Really.” She leans back. “Pretty weird, huh? Working for the person who was the first to ever see you when you’ve entered this world?”

But that’s not what her opposite finds most astonishing about her revelation.

“I didn’t know he does this, too. Attending births, I mean.”

“Well, he used to be a doctor on a spaceship for many years.” Kestra explains. “Before he took over this research department. If you’re a doctor there, you must do everything that comes up. Including occasionally delivering a baby. He also attended my older brother’s birth. During which he saved his life and my mom’s. So, I think you’re absolutely right. Doctor Talov is very cool.”

The girl nods her head in agreement before asking, “You were born on a spaceship? That’s awesome!”

“It really is.” Kestra replies wholeheartedly.

“Did you grow up on one, too?”

“Only for a few years.” Kestra explains. “Then my family moved to a planet called Nepenthe where I spend most of my childhood.”

The girl seems a little disappointed to hear that. “That must’ve sucked.”

“No. Actually, I liked it there very much, too. Still, I always knew I'd go back into space one day. I’m really looking forward to it.”

“I can imagine. I’d love that, too.”

Suddenly, both their attention is being drawn to the door as someone enters the room. A tall, young man. Kestra freezes. He’s wearing a lab coat over his uniform, but there is no doubt it’s the same man she just met outside the building. After all, you don’t see such cranial ridges every day.

“Hey Maddy.” He greets the girl casually, but doesn’t even look at Kestra, as he walks over.

“Hey John.”

They obviously know each other well.

He sits down next to the girl and looks at her with a focused yet friendly expression.

“How are you doing today?”

The girl shrugs. “Okay, I guess. And you?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old. But luckily, I get to treat my favorite patient today, so that’s an upside.” He smirks and pushes his shoulder at hers and she chuckles happily in return.

Kestra feels sick in her stomach again as she realizes she was mistaken. The girl called Maddy is not here for her mother. She’s the patient herself.

“So, what do you say?” The ensign is still concentrated only on the girl. His voice is warm and gentle. “Are you ready to let me probe you again?”

“Sure, I mean, if you have nothing better to do,” Maddy says with a carelessness that’s obviously a protective mechanism. But she nevertheless gets up from her seat, now. Kestra is surprised when she turns to her again.

“I wish you good luck with your internship.”

She says this completely seriously as if it wasn’t completely irrelevant compared to the fact that she must have one of the horrific diseases Kestra has spent the last days learning about. However, since she is certain that the girl would not appreciate her pity, she replies just as seriously.

“Thank you. I’m Kestra, by the way.”

“I’m Maddy. Actually, it’s Madeline, but almost no one calls me that.” She replies perkily and then promises her. “And don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

The girl moves towards the door and only now the man addresses Kestra. His expression is neutral, and his voice completely relaxed.

“You’re a little early, Cadet. But since you’re here anyway I’d say we start with your training right away, shall we?”

When she doesn’t react immediately, just looks at him incomprehensively, he curtly introduces himself.

“John Paris. Nurse. I’ll be supervising your internship.” Without waiting for a reaction, he turns and calls for her to follow him. “Come on.”

Kestra stares after him with an open mouth, before she jumps up from her seat, cursing herself silently.

Great. So much about leaving a good first impression.

***

“Oh, Kestra.”

Deanna Troi laughs wholeheartedly when her daughter tells her about it all in the evening.

They are sitting in the living room on the couch while Will is in the kitchen, cooking dinner. They can hear the jazz tunes he listens too even through the closed door, and Kestra moves her foot inadvertently in the rhythm of the music. But of course, Deanna can sense that behind the seemingly relaxed attitude her daughter is anxious and tense. And not because of the humiliating start of her internship.

“It’s really not funny, Mom.” Kestra scolds her.

“Of course, it is.” Deanna disagrees, before she inquires, “And what happened then? Did he mention your earlier meeting?”

“Thankfully, he did not. First, he let me watch and explained what he was doing as he treated the girl. Then Talov arrived, checked everything, and after the girl and her mother left there was a morning briefing where I was introduced to the whole team. Next the nurse gave me a crash course on the routines in the lab, and then we spend the rest of the day together as he taught me how to do some standard procedures. Plus, he also briefed me on their current cases in more details. It was great.”

She means it. John Paris had been nothing but completely focused on instructing her on their work. Yet she had felt awful the entire time. But not because she was worrying what he might be thinking of her. Actually, thanks to his professional attitude, she had felt relaxed in his presence and had very soon forgotten about their first encounter.

Unfortunately, the face of her first patient was much harder to forget, as was the knowledge about the disease she was suffering from.

She had been so stupid, thinking she was able to approach this like every other of her rotations. Why did she had to go for the most challenging and competitive position instead of thinking this through thoroughly? She should have prepared herself for the possibility that one of the patients could be a child. But she hadn’t even thought of it.

“I’m not sure I can do this, Mom.” Kestra confesses, deeply unhappy. “That girl, Maddy, she was so sweet and so young. She reminded me a lot of Thad. I thought I can handle it, but maybe I was wrong.”

Deanna looks at her daughter, and takes her time to study her, while tenderly stroking her cheek. Kestra smiles thankfully and moves a little closer towards her, seeking her reassurance.

“Have you spoken to Talov about this?” She then inquires calmly. “Or to your supervisor?”

“No.” Kestra admits. “I wanted to talk to you first, ask you what to do. I mean, you probably saw this coming, right? I know you were against me working for Talov in the first place.”

“I was not against it.” Deanna disagrees firmly, intend to set this right. “Not at all. I just thought that an internship with a counselor would have been more beneficial with regard to your training. After all, it was your choice to specialize in xenolinguistics and psychology. If I may remind you of that, Cadet.”

“Yeah, but I already did an internship with a counselor.” Kestra returns dryly, and when Deanna doesn’t get it, she argues, “Although usually, I refer to it as my childhood. If I may remind you of that, Counselor Troi.”

Deanna snorts. Yet, she can’t stay serious for long but must smile at her daughter’s playfully contorted face.

“Okay, point taken. Then tell me again, why did you want to work for Talov in the first place?” She crosses her arms in front of her chest. “I mean, seriously, you’ll be mostly standing in a lab all day. I really don’t get what’s so great about it.”

Kestra sits up straight again, surprised and upset at her dismissive attitude, more than ready to take on this challenge.

“What’s not great about it?” Her voice gets more and more excited as she’s listing all the things that made her passionate about the idea in the first place. “For one, it’s cutting-edge research. And only the best of the best work for Talov. I already learned so much from Nurse Paris today, regarding the science and how to deal with the patients. He's really great at that. Plus, the diseases they are working on are so rare that no one else is interested in them. Talov’s patients have no one else but him and his team to help them. To give them hope. Everybody else has long given up on them. What could be more rewarding than taking a stand for them?”

Again, Maddy’s face pops up in her head. The face of a girl who is much better at solving Vulcan logic puzzles then she should be because she spends way too much time in a hospital. Agitatedly, Kestra jumps up and goes on lecturing her mother.

"And what does it matter if I feel attached to that girl? It’s good that I do. She deserves that people care about what's happening to her. As do all the other patients and their families."

She stands in front of her mother, looking down at her decidedly, ready to defend her decision further. She fought hard to get that internship. Talov might be a family friend, but he certainly doesn’t give out favors when it comes to his department. She has earned her spot, and she won’t throw this opportunity and everything that comes with it away because of some emotional inconvenience she might have to face. After all, to have compassion for others is not a weakness, it's a strength.

But instead of arguing with her, Deanna just leans back and replies very calmly, “Then I guess, there you have your answer about what to do.”

Kestra looks at her perplexed, but then it dawns on her. A little embarrassed as she realizes how easily she’s played her she sits down at her side again.

“Thanks, Mom,” she finally murmurs grudgingly.

“You’re welcome,” Deanna returns warmly, but can’t help pointing out, “And that is what you would’ve learned to do if you did an actual internship with a counselor, by the way.”

They are both still chuckling happily when Will enters the room with their dinner.

Chapter Text

Kestra sighs as she follows Zelma down the stairs into the basement of the building.

Maybe she should have sticked to her plan and just stay home and read up on the toxins John mentioned as a possible antagonist for the defect neurotransmitter they only recently found in a new patient. Talov said it was an idea worth pursuing and that he should take a closer look at it. Therefore, Kestra must do this too, since she’s working the whole time together with him and he includes her in all his tasks. Which is great.

Despite their somewhat messed up first encounter which none of them ever mentioned again, John Paris turned out to be a fantastic teacher. He’s not only skilled in the lab, but also with the patients. He talks them through the procedures calmly, takes his time until he’s sure they are ready, never loses his patience.

The whole week he came in early and stayed late, but he made sure Kestra always ended her shift on time. However, now that she has at least settled a little into the job, she hopes she’ll be able to take some work off his shoulders, instead of adding to his already busy schedule. While he doesn’t seem to mind, she’s aware that him teaching her means he spends a lot of time with things he’d be much faster doing on his own. But to be a real help, she has to be on top of things. Therefore, she wants to get a better understanding of this new idea of his.

Yet, Zelma hadn’t allowed for any excuses.

“All you did this week was dealing with sick people and doing lab work. You can’t spend the rest of your awake time studying. That’s not healthy.” She had declared with conviction when Kestra told her she’d rather stay in to do more reading. “You can read tomorrow, if you don’t know what else to do with your day off. But tonight, you are going to let off some steam.”

And with this, she had ordered her to go out with her.

Of course, she already knew where to take her. A new club, fantastic to dance, to do some responsible drinking and maybe something else - if someone interesting enough should happen to come along.

And Kestra did not protest.

While her roommate is older than herself, they are in the same year at the academy. Kestra started her training early in a special program, while Zelma enjoyed the first year so much, she took some additional time when she was starting at the academy - as she likes to put it.

They had the same tutor, and it was because of her that they became roommates when Kestra was in her second year. It turned out to be one of the best decisions ever. Otherwise, Kestra might have never found out what else life at the academy could entail besides studying, and Zelma might still sit in the introductory courses.

They became friends instantly. Although or because they are so different, it's hard to say. Zelma is open-minded, strategic and self-confident while Kestra is more introverted and intuitive. She generally is ambitious, but she mainly follows her passions rather than a concrete plan when it comes to how she approaches her education and her career. However, once she has set her mind on something, she usually doesn’t give up until she gets it.

Kestra helped Zelma with her studies, taught her some better learning methods and put a lot of her own time into repeating and training with her. In return, Zelma introduced Kestra to San Francisco and all the amenities it held for a young woman to explore.

She also explained to her how to find the right people to enjoy them with, when she realized Kestra had no clue about the social conventions of dating and anything that came with it. But Kestra learned quickly. Under her friend’s guide, and with her assist as wingwoman, she successfully discovered this area of adulthood.

Of course, when they go out, they are merely on the lookout to have some casual fun. Like most cadettes, they know a career in service of Starfleet is easier to realize for those unattached. Not to mention that the opportunities to meet new and exciting people of various species are endless when you’re travelling space. So why make any hasty commitments.

Astonishingly enough, though, Zelma is quite the romantic by heart. When she first met Kestra’s parents, she couldn’t stop swooning about how completely adorable they were, so smitten with each other and that after such a long time being married. More than once, her friend has since told her how lucky she is to have them as an example. And although Kestra loves her parents dearly and delights in their happiness, she’s not so sure if she’d ever aspire something like their relationship for herself.

Of course, so far, she only had a few little flings, nothing serious, just some adult fun. Which is exactly what she wants. No drama, no messy emotional turmoil. She really doesn’t need that, and so, she chose the guys she went out with accordingly.

Knowing that she can trust her friend, Kestra now simply lets her guide her through the labyrinth of corridors until they reach their destination. It is typical of Zelma that she knows a place like this that is so hidden. Something for insiders. Kestra would never have found it on her own.

The dance floor is already well populated, and the music is to Kestra's taste. It's quite loud where the dancing takes place, but in the rest of the room it's more of a pleasant background noise so that people can talk without shouting at each other. There are two bars on opposite sides of the room, where many people stand together in small groups. On the fourth side there is a raised area with small tables where you can sit and have a good view of everything.

The atmosphere is relaxed and Kestra immediately feels at ease. The audience seems to be quite mixed and, as is so often the case when she's out with Zelma, Kestra is definitely at the lower end of the age spectrum. That doesn't bother her, on the contrary, she's not that good with her peers anyway. Zelma just isn't that into cadets in general, which is why she tends to choose places that draw in a slightly older crowd.

They sit down at a table, order some drinks and talk while watching the people around them. Zelma loves to study her environment carefully before she strikes, and they usually do that together. However, when she notices Kestra’s heart isn’t in it, her friend scolds her.

“Hey, I thought we agreed you needed some distraction. So, stop thinking about sick people and tell me what you are looking for, tonight.” Her friend lifts a brow. “Some fun dancing or maybe something more?”

Kestra shrugs. “Depends on the guy, I guess.”

“Now, that’s the right attitude.” Zelma is appeased. “How about this: I do some looking around and when I’ve chosen someone for you, you go see if he’s worth it. Deal?”

Kestra laughs and gives in.

“Alright. But I want a tall one. Six ft two or up. And please, do not comment on that. You know how much I hate it when you analyze me.”

“I don’t have the slightest idea what you mean.” She says innocently. “After all, I couldn’t possibly know if it’s genetic, acquired behavior or just coincidence that you have your mother’s taste in men.”

Zelma beams at her with glee.

“I certainly don’t blame you. Your father is really hot.”

“First of all: yuck!” Kestra exclaims, shakes her head with indignation. “And second of all, you should know by now, I prefer blondes.”

“You’re absolutely right.” Her friend grins at that. “My bad.”

While Kestra leans back in her seat, Zelma starts scanning the crowd more closely. It doesn’t take long until she has spotted an object of interest. Her eyes light up, and she lets her brows dance.

“Okay, I know I say this a lot, but I have just found the guy for you. A real gem.”

Since Kestra is sitting with her back to the direction her friend is looking at, she must take her word for it. She resists the temptation to turn around while Zelma still observes her mark.

“He's part of a group. Males and females, most of them late twenties, early thirties, but he's younger. Mid-twenties, I'd say.” She murmurs with concentration.

“Okay, but how does he look?” Kestra inquires, a little impatiently.

“You are so superficial, Cadet,” Zelma teases.

“Well, I learned from the best,” she returns quickly.

“Hard to argue with that.” Her friend chuckles. “Okay, he’s tall, strong body, great hair, blonde, of course, as you prefer. Sweet grin, oh, and he has just turned so I can report: his tushy is really nice, too.”

She nods, seems pretty content with herself.

“As I said, he checks all your boxes. You two would have some pretty babies.”

“Great, but I think I pass on that for now,” Kestra replies before asking the most important question. “Does he dance?”

She’s very particular about that. A man needs to have rhythm.

“I’m not sure.” Zelma admits. “So far, he’s just standing around talking.”

Kestra makes a dismissive gesture, but her friend does not intend to give up making a case for her pick just yet.

“Well, even if he doesn’t dance you could still try your Klingon on him.” She tries to bait her. “I’m sure that will blow his mind.”

“What?”

Suddenly Kestra has a very odd feeling and turns around.

She recognizes him immediately.

John Paris is standing just a few meters away from her, talking and laughing animatedly with a group of people. She stares at him in disbelief.

He looks completely different in his civilian clothes than in his uniform and lab coat. Younger, less stiff and also, she has to admit, incredibly attractive. Zelma certainly was not wrong about that. He is wearing a tight shirt with short sleeves, and Kestra's gaze involuntarily wanders over his biceps and the muscular upper body that is visible underneath.

She’s still staring at him when he turns his head into her direction. Their eyes meet.

Quickly, Kestra turns back around.

“Damnit.” She murmurs and leans forward to bring Zelma up to speed. “That’s John. The nurse I’m working with.”

“That’s John?” Zelma asks and her voice has this telling undertone Kestra can’t stand. “Now, I finally get why you’ve been working like a maniac this week. You really could’ve said something.”

But she doesn’t have the nerves to protest, as something much more pressing is on her mind right now.

“Did he see me?” She inquires nervously, although she is already sure that he did.

Relaxedly, Zelma peeks over her shoulder, before she answers.

“I guess so.” She replies grinningly. “At least, he’s coming over to us.”

“What? No!” Kestra whispers slightly tortured, sinking down a little in her seat, as if this way she could evade an encounter.

“Yes.” Zelma returns, and only a few seconds later John Paris comes to stand before their table, looking down at Kestra with a friendly expression.

“And I thought you had seen enough of me for this week.” He greets her jokingly.

“Hey John. What a surprise.”

Kestra stands up, nervously stroking a strain of hair behind her ear. Then she points to Zelma who also has risen from her seat.

“Ah, Zelma, that’s Ensign John Paris, from Starfleet Medical. John, that’s my roommate from the academy, Zelma Kopallack.”

John nods over to her with a smirk. “Nice to meet you, Cadet.”

“Likewise.” Zelma replies casually, before her demeanor changes.

“Oh, there’s Mik!” She exclaims with fervor and points to the other side of the room. “Excuse me, guys, but I really have to say ‘hi’ to this friend of mine. I haven’t seen him in ages.”

Kestra is pretty sure there isn’t a Mik anywhere, but that her friend only wants to give her the opportunity to make a move on John Paris. And even more so now, as she looks at her excitedly and with wide eyes before she rushes away, vanishing into the crowd at the bar.

Her whole act is not exactly subtle and Kestra feels seriously embarrassed but manages to not let it show. Or at least, that’s what she hopes. John gazes after Zelma with a slightly confused look and for a moment she wonders if maybe he only came over to get introduced to her.

But then he points to the free seat, questioningly.

“May I?”

Kestra nods, and they sit down opposite each other. This is so weird, she can’t help thinking. Why is she so nervous? Quickly she reaches for her drink.

“I’m impressed you can still stand after a week like this, let alone go out,” he says.

Kestra frowns. Who does he think he is, reprimanding her for the way she spends her free time just because she works with him?

But actually, he meant something else.

“When I got home tonight, I wanted to sleep straight until Monday.” He laughs. “But my sister made me come here.”

John nods over to the group he came from, and Kestra turns around again. She hasn’t really paid attention to them before but has no problem spotting her.

A tall woman in a bright red dress, dark hair and also visible cranial ridges is the center of attention. She is telling a story to her friends with great gestures, and everyone around her seems to be hanging on her lips.

“The woman in red?" She asks unnecessarily.

“What gave her away?" He returns dryly. But then he smirks at her and Kestra must smile in return, as his grin is quite infectious.

“Anyways, she’s with the diplomatic corps so she’s on the move a lot.” John goes on casually, although he obviously is rather proud of her. “But when she’s in town, she still thinks she needs to take care of me, as she used to do when I was little. Even though I’ve been one head taller than her for ten years or so.”

“I understand, believe me,” Kestra assures him. “My brother and I used to go on long forays through the woods on the planet we grew up on, and he always insisted on leading the way in case something dangerous was waiting for us in the undergrowth. Even when I'd already become a much better shot than him.”

“Better shot?” He looks at her with astonishment.

“With a bow.” She explains, and he is even more perplexed now, it seems.

“You don't exactly look like an archer to me.” He laughs in amazement.

Kestra’s not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult and returns rather coolly, “Well, you don't exactly look like a nurse, do you? Looks can be deceiving.”

“They certainly can be.” He says this lowly, almost in awe and the sparkle in his eyes makes her sure how he meant it.

When she goes on, her tone is much softer again. “I also don’t look like I’m a quarter Betazoid.”

“You’re a quarter Betazoid?” Suddenly, John Paris seems a little uncomfortable. “Do you have any abilities?”

She shakes her head.

“Until now, I only ever caught an occasional emotional impression of others, here and there. I cannot control it, it’s like glimpses, really, and only with people I’m close with. My brother, my godmother. But it’s so random, it’s nothing worth calling an ability.”

He relaxes visibly, seems more composed again, as he inquires interestedly, “And do you regret that?”

Kestra thinks about that for a moment.

“I used to. I always wished to have real, controllable empathic abilities like my mother has, or even more, to be like my grandmother who’s a real accomplished telepath. But the older I get, the more I think it might not be that bad not to be able to feel what other’s feel. Not be able to invade other people’s minds. To handle that kind of responsibility can be quite a burden.”

“I guess that’s true.” He replies thoughtfully, then something seems to come to his mind, and he grins again. Kestra presses her lips together. It’s a rather distracting view.

“When I was little, I had a phase during which I wished to be more Klingon. Almost drove my mother crazy. When she was younger, she always wanted to be less Klingon, as her temper so often got her into trouble. However, when I got older, I came to understand that being a quarter Klingon works quite well for me. I mean, it’s not as if I could hide my Klingon heritage and I’d never want to, either. But I appreciate being able to handle everything that comes with it rationally.”

“So, you never get in trouble because of it?” She teases.

“Well, when I got into trouble, it certainly wasn’t because of the Klingon in me, believe me.” He jokes and leans forward. “But you're definitely right about the deceptive power of looks. Because I am certainly no warrior. However, it is true that most people who meet me for the first time usually are very… let’s say respectful. Most of them, at least.”

He winks at her tellingly.

Suddenly remembering their first encounter, Kestra’s cheek feel like burning, and she is quick to utter the apology she should have made right away.

“I’m really sorry I was so rude to you, John.”

He shakes his head. “No, you were right. I should’ve checked how you were.”

“Because you’re a nurse?” She asks doubtfully.

“No, because my parents actually did teach me manners.”

Kestra smirks at that.

“Well, it was my fault entirely. I was distracted by my father. I should’ve paid better attention.”

He lifts a brow.

“Your father, huh? I wasn’t sure if that was who you were looking after. I thought, maybe he was your boyfriend.”

“What? Oh, heaven’s no!” Kestra must laugh out loud cheerfully at that idea.

“So, you don’t have a boyfriend?” John asks quite unexpectedly.

He doesn’t move, looks at her intensely, holds her gaze as he waits for her answer. Suddenly, her heart is beating very fast.

“No.” She replies, trying to play it just as cool as he does. “I don’t.”

His mouth twitches contently.

“Why not?”

She shrugs. “Too busy, I guess.”

“Right.” He replies knowingly. “I saw you keep busy.”

When she frowns astonished at that, he admits, “I took a look at your resume. Your scores, your performance reviews. Very impressive.”

“Thanks.” She replies flattered, but he doesn’t say anything anymore, just suddenly looks down at his hands.

Is she really making him nervous? It seems like it. But since she isn’t sure she waits for him to make the next move. After all, he started it.

Finally, he lifts his head and clears his throat.

“So, you are close with your brother?”

Kestra’s smile vanishes instantly. She presses her lips together, needs a moment before she can answer.

“I was,” she then says simply. “Until he died.”

John's eyes widen and his expression turns grave.

“Mendaxic Neurosclerosis. During the ban.” She explains curtly. “The worst timing ever.”

“That’s awful,” he says sincerely, again holding her gaze, not evading her pain as most people do when she tells them about Thad. Instead, he looks at her with so much honest and warm sympathy that her eyes fill with tears and she has to swallow them down.

His expression becomes even more unhappily, and he reaches for her hand, leaning forward.

“Kestra.” He says her name very gently, and she can hear the worry in his voice.

“It’s been many years, I’m okay.” She assures him, shrugs apologizingly. “I’m sorry, John. I usually don’t start to get emotional every time it comes up.”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry this happened to you.” He presses her hand. “You have nothing to apologize for. But I'm glad you told me.”

For a moment, they just look at each other. The intensity of his gaze captivates her. He is still holding her hand, his fingers are tenderly stroking hers, and his touch feels so very nice.

When she begins to smile, so does he.

John opens his mouth.

“Would you maybe like to-”

But he is interrupted and forced to let go of her hand as a group of people next to them greet each other cheerfully, with two men accidentally bumping into their table. A small scramble ensues around them, and the men apologize profusely. It takes a moment before they are alone again.

Amusedly, Kestra lets herself fall back into her chair and turns to John, expecting him to finally ask her to dance with him.

“What did you want to say?” She smiles brightly at him.

He hesitates. Then his demeanor changes, suddenly becomes much more formal, as does his tone.

“Well, I just wanted to say that I know it can be a lot, but you've done a really good job this week. I think we'll make a good team, and I look forward to working with you.”

His words are like a sudden and very cold shower.

But Kestra responds quickly.

“Thank you, John.” She nods with what she hopes is a carefree expression on her face. “I appreciate you taking the time to teach me.”

“Of course. After all, it's my job.” He stands up and looks demonstratively over at his sister and her friends. “I should get back. I'll see you Monday, Cadet.”

Without waiting for a reply, he turns and walks away, while Kestra looks after him, rather confused.

It's only a short moment before Zelma is back at the table. She has obviously been watching their exchange.

“So?” She inquires curiously. “What did he want?”

“I have no idea,” mumbles Kestra honestly.

She would have sworn that he was interested in her, but the next second he seemed to have changed his mind.

John is greeted by two human women from his group, and when he says something to them, they both laugh happily. Kestra feels an unpleasant twinge of jealousy when one of them puts her arm around his back.

She quickly turns and looks at Zelma.

“You know, I really don't feel like looking for a guy tonight.” She declares resolutely. “Let's just have a good time and dance the night away, shall we?”

Zelma gives her a knowing look. But since she's a real friend, she doesn't argue with her. Instead, she nods, and they happily hit the dance floor together.

Kestra has always loved dancing. When she starts moving to the music, she quickly stops thinking about everything and everyone. She happily lets her body sway to the beat, loses herself in it and feels completely at ease.

Meanwhile, John Paris is standing at the bar with his sister and their friends, laughing with them, although he hardly listens to their stories. Instead, he keeps glancing at the dance floor again and again, silently cursing himself.

Chapter Text

Admiral Christine Vale looks at her young companion with amusement. She knows that look.

She has just returned from a rather tedious trip, taking care of some unpleasant business in the Sigma-Antares sector and is more than happy to finally be able to spend some time with her goddaughter again. She is aware that she won't have that many more opportunities to do so. In less than a year, she will be heading into space.

But something has obviously happened in the time she has been away that has left the otherwise lively and talkative young woman with a lasting preoccupation. She's been awfully quiet all evening, and she is now too, as they sit together with snacks and drinks after their training session. No question, Kestra is brooding over something.

“How’s your drink?” She asks.

“Good.” Kestra murmurs, although she hasn’t even tried it, yet.

Suddenly, Christine wonders if Kestra is worrying about her parents again. But the next second she rejects the idea.

With their 25th anniversary coming up soon, Will is all caught up in his plans on how to commemorate this special occasion, and make it a perfect day for his wife. In return, Deanna has begun organizing a second honeymoon for them.

No, she’s certain; whatever is bugging Kestra, it’s not about her parents.

Which leaves only one other option, really. After all, she takes her education very seriously.

“How’s the internship going?” Christine inquires friendly.

Instead of answering, though, the young woman takes a sip from her drink first. Only then, she speaks.

“It’s going fine, actually. In the beginning I had a hard time, but then I realized it’s a good fit for me. I do mostly assistant's jobs, of course, but I still learn a lot. And unlike most of what I do at the academy, everything I do has an immediate impact on people other than myself.”

She pauses, smiles softly.

“When I think of Thad, I always try to remind myself that every day we had together was a gift. Talov and his team make many days happen these patients and their families would never have without them. And even though it can be tough to know there won't be a happy end to all of their stories, to be a part of the work that's being done there definitely feels good.”

Chris is once again amazed by her. Of course, Kestra knows better than most what she’s talking about.

Will had been so worried for her, had not been sure if this was the best idea, for her to work at Talov’s department of lost causes, where pain and death are so present all the time. But Deanna had been certain, Kestra would do fine. And apparently, she had been right. Not that this should have come as a surprise.

Unlike her husband, Deanna never forgets that Kestra is not a child anymore. No, the woman sitting opposite Chris is a grown-up, and an extraordinary one for that. She is smart, gentle and at the same time incredibly strong. The blonde hair and blue eyes sometimes make her forget how much Kestra is like her mother.

Still, she is relieved to hear that she really is at peace with the hardships of her current assignment. It doesn't explain why she is so distracted, though.

“Okay, if it's not the work, what's the reason you hardly said a word all night?” She therefore asks.

Now Kestra looks at her a little abashed. “I'm so sorry, Chris.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” She assures her warmly. “And you don't need to tell me what's going on if you don't want to, either. But be sure whatever it is, you can tell me. I am always here for you.”

Kestra smiles and nods. “I know.” She hesitates only briefly. “To be honest, it's about the nurse I work with.”

Chris is a little surprised. If there’s an issue with her co-worker, surely, she could talk to Talov about that.

“What, is he giving you a hard time or something?” She inquires.

“No, he's great to work with.” Kestra assures quickly and with fervor. “He's very professional.”

But then her cheeks flush as she admits, “It's just... I'm attracted to him. Like, a lot. It’s rather distracting.”

Chris raises an eyebrow. “I see. And does he feel the same?”

Kestra shrugs, but then a smile flits over her face.

“I think so. When we're in the lab, he always keeps his distance, as if he was afraid getting too close to me. And often he looks at me in a certain way. You know, when he thinks I don’t notice.”

She grins happily, and it’s more than obvious that Kestra welcomes this man’s attention and is apparently considering taking actions to get closer to him.

Chris calmly waits for her to go on.

“Any advice, Admiral?” She now asks quite directly. “I mean, what is your verdict on the matter of workplace romance? Do, or don’t?”

Christine feels nothing but honored the young woman is confiding in her in this matter. And to proof herself worthy of her trust, she answers just as honestly as she knows Kestra expects her to.

“As you know, I've always tried to avoid those for myself. If it doesn’t end well things can get kind of messy.”

The look on Kestra’s face tells her that was not the answer she was hoping for. However, she wasn’t finished just yet.

“That being said, I guess, my reasoning doesn’t apply in your case since you’re only staying in the department for a few more weeks and then, you’ll never have to see him again if you don’t want to. Sure it might be weird for a short time, but if he's as professional as you say, it shouldn't be a big deal. Therefore, I think it comes down to a very simple question: What do you want?”

Kestra bites her lips. Her hands play with her glass while her eyes focus the tabletop.

Luckily, Chris has picked up a thing or two from Deanna. Of course, she’s curious to learn more. But she’d never pressure her to tell her. She just waits, her demeanor being as open and encouraging as possible.

“I know what I want.” Kestra finally mumbles lowly.

She looks up again with a bright smirk. No need to say more.

Chris decides she can venture forward a little further now, after all.

“A nurse, huh?” She says. “I suppose since he’s working for Talov he’s got nerves of steel and knows his science.”

Kestra nods in confirmation.

“He does. He’s also kind. And funny.” Then she adds with much emphasis: “And he’s really, really hot.”

“Alright then.” Christine chuckles. “And what’s his name?”

She should probably do a check on him. Discreetly, of course. Just to be safe. This is about her goddaughter, after all.

“John.” Kestra’s voice vibrates lowly as she answers. “John Paris.”

Christine frowns, as the name does ring a bell. She cannot be sure, though, and it’s also not really that important right now. Instead, she has something else on her mind that she still wants to get off her chest.

“Okay, but if you and Mister Paris decide to do something other than just work together, please do me one favor.” She pauses and looks at Kestra rather sternly. “Keep your pants on while you're on duty.”

“Chris!” Kestra exclaims with indignation. 

“Hey, I’m just saying this as a precaution. After all, you are way too much like your mother for all I know.” She lifts her hands apologizingly. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m generally in favor of taking her as a role model and all - but certainly not in that particular matter.”

When Kestra stares at her with an open mouth, Christine just shrugs her shoulders casually.

“Let’s not pretend you wouldn’t know what I mean. Just remember I was as close with your parents as it gets.”

She leans forward, lowers her voice, and continues in a tortured tone.

“On a spaceship. For over a decade. Admittedly, I never actually caught them in the act, but I can assure you that was merely because it was me, who made sure that did not happen. You wouldn't believe how often I turned a blind eye, pretending not to know what they were doing with each other, or where.”

“Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” She replies dryly and begins to count on her fingers. “Just to give you the highlights: Ready room, of course. Counselor’s office. Conference room. Shuttle bay. Oh, and not to forget my personal favorite: turbolift.”

Kestra stares at her with wide eyes and an open mouth.

Friendly, Christine pats her goddaughter’s hand and then just reaffirms her position.

“So, if you want to get it on with the hot nurse, go ahead. You have my blessing. But off duty!”

She leans back and waits for Kestra to recover.

“I think I need something else to drink, now.” She finally murmurs.

“That doesn’t help.” Chris comments with earnest sympathy. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”

She shakes her head but can’t hold back a grin. Their eyes meet, and then they both just burst out laughing quite cheerfully.

***

John glances at Kestra out of the corner of his eye. While she is as focused as she always is, he notices she looks somewhat tired. Which is not surprising at all. It’s been a long day.

“You were done with your shift a while ago, Cadet.” He reminds her curtly. “You should call it a day.”

When she doesn’t react, he repeats, a little more friendly this time. “Kestra. Go home.”

Calmly, she finishes what she is doing before looking over to him. Her blue eyes are scrutinizing him.

“Are you going home?” She asks defiantly. “Because I'm assigned to assist you, and I’ve decided that this means I’m not leaving until you do.”

He sighs. “You’re pretty stubborn, you know that?”

“I prefer ‘determined’,” she replies. “Runs in the family, I’m afraid. You should meet my grandmother. She can make admirals jump at her command and orders Klingon warriors around as if they were her servants. Believe me, compared to her, I’m an obedient lamb.”

John can’t help grinning at that, leans back in his chair relaxedly for a moment.

“Sounds like she’s a tough act to follow. I sure can relate to that. I grew up with determined females all around me.”

“And this determined female is telling you that it is time for you to go home, John.”

“Why do you care if I do?” He asks, almost a little annoyedly.

“Because I value my education greatly, and this requires my teacher to take just as much care of himself as he does of me. Unless you want to teach me how to work myself to exhaustion, of course.”

“I’m fine,” he mumbles. But knowing she won’t back down, he signals his defeat with a nod. Contently, Kestra starts packing up her equipment, and he does the same.

After clearing their workstations and leaving the lab they take the lift down, say goodbye to the doorman and then step out into the night. The fresh air feels good, but somehow the sensation also makes him realize how strained he really is.

Kestra has been right. It was about time he got out of there, to see something else, think of something else than his patients. Of course, it’s mostly one case in particular that has kept him here after hours, lately. Not that it would have made any difference, though. They have run out of options.

He wants to say goodnight to Kestra, but she has stopped a few steps behind him and looks up to the sky. Wondering what she might find so interesting, he looks up, too. Only then he realizes that tonight the night sky is full of stars, even though it had been cloudy all day.

“That’s really nice.” He mumbles.

Looking at the stars soothes something in him. But after a while, his gaze inadvertently wanders over to Kestra. Her mouth is slightly open as she looks longingly into the sky. Not for the first time he wonders how those lips would feel on his.

When she told him she was part Betazoid he almost freaked out. But luckily, she doesn’t have any abilities, or at least she cannot sense his mind or his emotions. Therefore, she doesn’t know how often he thinks of her.

While there have been many cadets coming and going since he joined the department, he never was interested in any of them. But Kestra is different.

Usually, the cadets only stay in the background when he treats the patients, probably fearing they might start to actually care if they get closer to them. Kestra isn’t worried about that at all, it seems. And while she is full of compassion for every one of them, she doesn’t treat them differently than any other person she engages with. All the patients love her.

Plus, she’s extremely smart. Much smarter than him. She learns amazingly fast and remembers almost everything immediately. After just a few days, she had understood the details of their cases and was a real asset in the lab. And yet she was by no means arrogant or opinionated, but friendly and funny.

She's pretty, too, though quite different from the women he usually finds attractive. Of course, he liked her sparkling spirit, her direct attitude and her wits from the moment he first bumped into her. When he saw her at the club, though, he could hardly believe it.

Seeing her in something other than her uniform made him aware of the delicious curves of her body. The unaffected sound of her laughter, the way she tucked her exceptionally untamed hair behind her ear, curled her lips when he made her smile was absolutely gorgeous. So much, he forgot for a short moment she was his intern.

He knows he should not have flirted with her, but there just was something about her he found so enticing.

And that had been before he saw the way she danced. When she did, he could hardly take his eyes off her. The way she moved was quite a view, and he couldn't help thinking about what their bodies could do together. Ever since he has found himself looking at her at work regularly when she wouldn’t notice.

But she’s a cadet, and he is supposed to train her. Nothing else.

Therefore, he doesn’t move, just patiently waits until she turns to him again. When she does, though, he at least wants to express his gratitude for getting him out of the lab.

“Goodnight, Kestra.” He says with a friendly smile. “And thank you for looking out for me.”

“Of course.” She returns nonchalantly. “Although you should keep in mind, I’m not going to be your intern forever, so you really should learn how to do that yourself. Otherwise, I might have to call your sister.”

It's the first time either of them has alluded to their encounter at the club. To hide his embarrassment, he quickly picks up on her remark about Miral.

“Well, she’s working like around the clock, so she probably wouldn’t be very impressed with me.”

Kestra chuckles. “I see. Is that why you spend your whole time here? Sibling rivalry?”

“I’ve lost that fight many years ago.” He admits. “Believe it or not, I’m not such a workaholic most of the time.”

She raises a brow doubtfully, and he laughs, assuring her, “I swear, usually I know when to call it quits.”

“Okay, so what's different right now?” She asks gently.

He shrugs his shoulders. “I guess some patients get under your skin more than others, you know?”

As soon as the words have left his mouth, he regrets them. He didn’t even intend to say that. But somehow, the truth slipped out. And of course, she understands immediately. After all, she’s been in the department these last weeks, sitting together with Doctor Talov and the team almost daily, discussing all the patients they were treating, knowing exactly what they were working on, and how the prognoses were. In which cases the therapies worked, and in which they did not.

“Maddy, huh?” It’s not actually a question.

“She’s just a kid.” He says lowly. “It isn’t fair.”

He knows he needs to get a grip on this. The patients, their families, they are allowed to break apart, while it’s his job to keep it together. But that doesn’t change the fact that he feels so helpless when he thinks of her. Of a sweet girl who has so many dreams. And so little time left.

He has been on her case ever since he started in the department, and while they had been able to stabilize her, they are not an inch closer to cure her condition than they were when he first met her.

To compose himself, John presses his lips together and looks up at the sky again, focuses on the stars to calm himself down.

“No, it isn’t. It’s absolutely not fair.” Kestra agrees, her gentle voice is unwavering. “But you do a great job, taking care of her like you do, John. You are always kind, you make her laugh, and you are honest with her. Believe me, you are making a difference in her life, even if you maybe don’t feel like you do.”

She sounds so sure, he notices amazed. Because she knows what she’s talking about, of course. He has not asked her about her brother again, but it’s clear that her understanding for their patients, for the work they are doing is informed by what she already went through herself. And instead of letting this experience weigh her down, amazingly, she somehow gains strength from it.

When he looks down again, Kestra stands right in front of him. She is so close he can smell the infatuating scent of her skin and his pulse rises significantly, just because of it. She’s speaking to something deep inside of him, something very powerful he only rarely gives in to.

“You know, usually it’s me who comforts the interns who have a hard time dealing with what we are doing here, not the other way round.” He finally manages to say, trying to sound lightly to cover his inner turmoil.

However, she sees through him.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, right?” She returns, completely calm.

“I guess so.” He admits lowly.

She is so beautiful. Her gentle expression, her radiant skin, her blue eyes, shining in the dim light around them, are mesmerizing him.

He doesn’t think about it, when he lifts his hand to touch her face. And Kestra doesn’t evade him, doesn’t move at all. Instead, there is an encouraging smile on her lips. Unable to resist any longer, John leans down and kisses her.

Her lips are warm and soft, and after a few seconds, he can feel how she puts more pressure on his, too, affirming her consent. Carefully, he lays one arms around her waist, wants to intensify their kiss.

But suddenly they are interrupted by a loud, mechanical humming noise, which makes them break apart instantly.

It is Kestra's personal communicator. Someone is trying to reach her.

“Sorry John,” she mumbles, takes a step back to turn the device off.

He just stands there, frozen.

He really kissed her. What the hell has gotten into him?

While he tries to think about how to get out of this mess he just maneuvered himself into, Kestra has focused back on him. She wants to say something, but he beats her to it, cutting her off before she can speak.

“I’m sorry. That was completely inappropriate.” He says this as formally as he can. “It won’t happen again.”

She frowns, studies him for a moment.

“That’s too bad.” She then replies simply.

Without hesitation, Kestra stands on her toes, lays her arms around his neck and pulls him down to kiss him again. And with fervor.

Her body presses against him, and when he senses her tongue in his mouth he cannot do anything but return her passionate kiss for as long as she wants.

When she finally lets go off him, he is panting, while she just looks at him quite pleased.

“You know where to find me when you change your mind.”

But he is just speechless.

“See you tomorrow, John,” she says goodbye with an amazingly seductive smile on her delicious lips.

John just stands there, thunderstruck, watching her disappear into the darkness.

Chapter Text

When Kestra enters the lab, John is already there. For a moment, she stands still in the door, as she ponders whether she really should go through with it. She had been hoping to catch him alone, before the official beginning of their shift but now she feels more nervous than she expected.

Naturally, after what happened last night, she discussed the situation with Zelma when she got home, and together they went through her options.

Let it go. Wait until he makes a move. Or just make one herself.

And Kestra has decided she is done waiting.

All night she has been tossing and turning, thinking about his kiss and the reaction it had triggered in her. Never has she felt like this. She craves John like she never did anyone before and she is certain he wants her too. But for whatever reason, he tries to fight it. So, there’s no way but for them to talk about it.

When he turns and looks at her, she is completely prepared to take the sparkle in his eye as a good sign. She smiles as she walks over to him.

“Morning John.”

“Good morning, Kestra.” He greets her and gets up from his chair. “You’re here early.”

“So are you.” She stands still opposite him but keeps her distance.

“I woke up early.” He admits. “Had a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah, me too.” She replies.

After an awkward moment of silence, he declares, “I have a surprise for you.”

Kestra is perplex. “You do?”

“Yes. Today, you are going to execute the nano-cellular-extraction yourself.”

While that was probably the last thing she expected to hear, she’s immediately excited at the prospect.

“Really?” She exclaims, but the very next second her expression darkens, and she scrutinizes him doubtfully.

He’s not giving out favors to her now, is he? Does he think this is why she encouraged him to change his mind, last night? That she is offering herself to him in return for more interesting tasks?

In a much more composed voice, she says, “I thought that was pretty advanced. Not exactly a job for an intern.”

But John answers firmly and without batting an eyelid.

“Doctor Talov thought that in your case, an exception should be made. When I came in, he instructed me to explain to you how to do the procedure, so you can assist him today yourself.”

He looks at her challengingly. “Is that a problem?”

Realizing this really is not about what happened between them, she quickly catches herself again.

“Of course not. I’d love that.” She beams at him. “Thanks, John.”

He shrugs it off.

“As I said, I had nothing to do with it. I’m only doing my job,” He replies coolly.

The way he looks at her, though, is not as cool. Rather, there’s something else in his eyes, something that encourages her to rather abruptly change the topic.

“Before we get started, though, I’d like to talk to you about last night.”

John nods. “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that, too.”

She loves the fact that all his composure is washed away, and he suddenly sounds much more nervous.

“You go first, then,” she replies quickly.

While he doesn’t seem to be too enthusiastic about this, he accepts the proposition. But first, he leads her to a seat, takes a chair for himself and sits down opposite her. When he looks at her, the expression on his face is grave, almost as when he gives one of his patients some bad news.

She doesn’t like this at all. She had been so sure he felt like she did. The idea she might have been wrong about that is unexpectedly painful. But it's surely better to know.

Therefore, she swallows her doubts and says as controlled and calmly as possible, “What do you wanted to tell me about last night?”

He takes a deep breath and then answers.

"I wanted you to know that you can rest assured that the events of last night will not affect our work. It was a long day, we were both tired, and when I couldn't control my worry about Maddy, you were kind enough to look after me and comfort me. I know I am responsible for everything that happened afterwards. And I would never expect what you said to me to last beyond that moment."

She wants to say something, but he shakes his head, smiles meekly.

“Please let me finish.”

Kestra nods, waits for him to continue.

“Look, it’s quite normal to be emotionally affected in a job like this and then it’s easy to long for closeness, to want to feel better, to turn the intense experiences one is exposed to into something else. Something good. We’ve both spent a lot of time together recently and we understand each other well. It can happen that these things get mixed up, causing an emotional confusion. I know that, and it would have been my duty to make sure you did, too. But I didn’t. I'm sorry.”

His demeanor is so serious, she realizes the idea he might have taken advantage of her is really troubling him. Which doesn’t mean she was wrong about his feelings for her, though. Quite the contrary. She only needs to get him to admit to it.

“So, why didn’t you?" She softly asks. "Why did you kiss me instead?”

John swallows hard, doesn’t answer right away, so she rephrases her question.

“Were you emotionally confused? Did you just want to feel better? Or maybe you kissed me because you wanted to? Because you are attracted to me.”

She can see he did not expect in the slightest she would call him out that directly. And actually, neither did she. However, it’s too late to back down, and so she moves forward, manages to sound completely calm, even though she's nervous as hell, as she goes on.

“I think you kissed me for the same reason you watched me when I was dancing in the club. The same reason you always move a little away from me when I stand close to you in the lab. The same reason you give me that look when you think no one sees it.”

“You've noticed that, huh?” He stares at her with an open mouth, almost disbelievingly. But just as she expected he doesn’t shy away from her, and he doesn’t evade the truth either. His honor would never allow it.

“You’re right.” He instead admits. “I didn’t kiss you because I wanted to feel better. I kissed you because that's what I’ve wanted to do ever since I saw you in the club.”

Kestra nods and her heart is racing with excitement as she replies.

“Well, then let me tell you something about me, John: I always mean what I say." She leans forward, speaks slowly, unmistakably. "I am attracted to you. I wanted to kiss you, and you can be sure I want to do it again. Actually, I thought about it all night. About you.”

She pauses, waits for him to react.

“That’s good to know,” he answers lowly. “Because, to be honest, I thought about you, all night, too.”

He looks at her with a longing expression and she’d love to just kiss him right away. Remembering Christine’s stern admonition, though, Kestra looks down and reaches out for John’s hand instead.

“Well, then we should do something about that, don’t you think?” She suggests in a murmur but doesn’t look up again, yet.

John lowers his head against hers. Now that he has not only admitted to his desire for her, but has also understood that she really wants him just the same, he seems to be ready to take actions.

“Maybe I could take you out? Tonight?”

She smirks because of his eager tone. When he takes a deep breath, she realizes he does so purposely, because he wants to inhale the scent of her, a thought that is rather arousing, and makes her even more sure how to reply to his proposal.

“Actually I was hoping we could find a more private setting. Just you and me.”

She lifts her head. When their eyes meet, and she can see him understand, the fire in his eyes causes sparks to spread through her whole body.

“Of course.” He answers hoarsely. “Your place?”

Kestra blushes.

“I’d have to check with my roommate, first.” She admits a little embarrassed.

Now, John seems abashed, too, but when there are noises audible in the hall, telling them, the other team members are about to arrive, he quickly recovers, offering the obvious solution to the problem at hand.

“My place, then.” He returns quickly. “I’ll cook dinner for you.”

“You cook?” She asks astonished.

“Nothing fancy.” He concedes. “But I can do some decent dishes. And some really nice desserts.”

His tone is so enticing.

“Do you like chocolate?”

Kestra grins brightly, answers with spontaneous fervor. “You have no idea.”

“It’s a date then? Tonight?” He only whispers now, since the voices of his colleagues are coming closer.

When Doctor Talov and two of his other assistants enter the room for their morning briefing, John leans back, letting go of her hand, but keeps gazing at her, still waiting for her answer.

“Absolutely,” Kestra says seemingly completely composed.

“Let’s get to work then,” he says just as relaxed but with a smile that makes her anticipation for the coming evening rise even more.

That actually was easier than she thought.

Luckily, she has listened to Zelma who insisted she put on some very nice underwear today.

Just in case.

***

Kestra strolls through the living room of John Paris’ apartment, a glass of wine in her hand, while he prepares dessert. The meal he had fixed for them had been simple but quite tasty, and she was actually rather impressed with his skills.

His apartment is small, and since he has an open kitchen, she has a chance to look around the living room while she talks to him. However, the room doesn't reveal too much about the occupant, except that he's quite tidy.

Having assisted her father many times, she knows her way around the kitchen pretty well, even though she hardly ever bothered to cook herself when she was still at home. And yet, Kestra offered John her help and when he realized she knew what she was doing, she had to admit where she learned that.

Before she knew it she was answering his questions about her childhood on Nepenthe, where she had not only had enjoyed her father's freshly cooked meals but even the fruit and vegetables her mother had grown in their own garden.

She went on telling him about how she spent a great deal of her formative years roaming the woods of Nepenthe with Thad. How her life on the planet and her big brother had shaped her appreciation of everything real.

However, she admitted to him that, other than Thad, she had always longed to go back into space. That all this time she had dreamed of living on a spaceship again, like she did in her early years. That she longed to explore the universe, meeting unknown species, discovering civilizations and of course, new languages.

Although she still preferred a real over a replicated meal.

“You know, I don’t think anyone outside my immediate family ever cooked for me,” she says this lightly while her gaze wanders around.

“And I don’t think I’ve ever cooked for someone outside my immediate family,” he admits without looking up.

She’s surprised to hear that. Somehow, she assumed it was something he did regularly. But then she remembers his first instinct had been for them to meet at her place. She wonders if he prefers it that way. It’s what Zelma promotes, too, and so Kestra has so far mostly followed her example. Not only because it’s always a little unpractical to have someone over when you share your room with someone. Being able to leave simply gives you more agency.

Of course, when one dates another cadet, it still can be tricky. Although cadets, who always have to share a room usually establish a system how to ensure they get some privacy if they are in need of it. There is a common joke among cadets that it’s a crucial part of the training. After all, many Starfleet vessel don’t allow for all their crew to have their own quarters.

But luckily, John is no cadet. Which is why she did not have to ask Zelma to find some other place to stay the night but could just accompany him to his place when their shift was over. They dropped by the market on their way, got some real berries and vegetables, and then came here. She liked the stroll, and the way he showed her around his neighborhood. He obviously enjoyed the place he had found for himself, and he made no secret out of it.

“How long have you been living here?” She asks.

“Ever since I started to work at Starfleet Medical. It used to be my sister's place, but she only comes by every now and then to crash on the couch when she’s in town. My mother installed the kitchen for me when I moved in.” He shrugs. “Miral doesn’t cook.”

“Your mother installed the kitchen herself?” She is impressed. “My mother doesn’t even know how to use a hyper spanner. But she’s a counselor, so that’s not that surprising I guess.”

“Well, mine’s an engineer.” He returns lightly. “Admittedly, building kitchens is not her usual thing. But she felt she needed to show her support, I guess. She kind of lost it when I told her I was dropping out of the academy. Even my father had a hard time calming her down, and he’s usually much better at that than anyone, believe me.”

He smirks at the memory.

“It actually was kind of funny, since she did drop out herself, back in the day when she was at the academy.”

Kestra is more surprised about what he just revealed about himself, though.

“You were a cadet?” She asks amazed. He’s such a great nurse, she can hardly believe he ever planned on being something else than a medical officer.

“Yeah, but not for long.” He says this openly and doesn’t seem to mind the fact at all. “It just wasn’t the right fit for me.”

He looks over to her and his eyes sparkle.

“I mean, think about it. On a spaceship I could never have my own kitchen.” He jokes. “Except of course, if I had become a chef.”

“Well, I’m sure your Pasta Verdura would be a hit in any officer’s mess,” Kestra replies.

“I’m glad you think so.” John goes on just as cheerfully. “When thinking about what to cook for you, I was torn between that and Gladst - but I wasn’t sure how enthusiastic you’d be for Klingon cuisine, to be honest.”

Kestra grins, and returns completely unimpressed, “Without Grapok sauce it’s okay I guess.”

“Be careful, or I might take you for your word,” he gives back teasingly.

Slowly, Kestra steps beside him and waits until he has placed two spoons into the bowls he prepared. Only when he looks at her, she says with a telling undertone, “I thought I've made clear that you should always take me for my word, John.”

He smirks, and when he takes her face in his hands to kiss her, she reacts with enthusiasm, opens her mouth and happily indulges in a passionate exchange, which is not the first of its kind since they arrived here.

“Where would you like to be served dessert?” John finally whispers when they part. “Kitchen or couch?”

Kestra does not need to think about it, of course, rather she demonstratively walks over and sits down on the comfortable sofa, placing her glass on the little table beside it.

John follows her with the dessert and when he hands her a bowl, his fingers strive hers.

“Thanks.” She smiles at him with warmth.

“Don’t thank me before you’ve tried it,” he teases, and sits down at her side.

Kestra has learned from her mother never to rush dessert. Therefore, she takes her time to enjoy the look of it, the smell, before she takes a small amount of it on her spoon, and slowly puts it in her mouth.

Then she closes her eyes.

“Oh, that’s great.”

She sighs deeply as she opens her eyes again.

Focused, she takes another bite, before she affirms, “This is simply delicious.”

Spoon for spoon she delights in the sweet dark chocolate cream with strawberries, relishes in it, hardly noticing anything else anymore until she’s done with it.

When she looks up, though, she realizes John has put his bowl down and is staring at her, a serious, almost solemn expression on his face.

“What?” She asks, wondering if she said or did something wrong.

Slowly, John shakes his head, as he says in awe, “I really don’t get how you do this.”

“Do what?” Kestra inquires confusedly.

He swallows hard, and his next words almost break out of him.

“Driving me crazy just by eating dessert.”

Usually, she’d find such a line unbelievably corny, but the way he says it, just as the way he gazes at her shows her, it’s something that slipped right out of his mind, without him thinking about it twice.

“Sorry.” He now mumbles embarrassedly.

Kestra studies his slightly flushed cheeks and places her bowl on the table beside her glass.

“What would you be sorry for?” She asks quietly, moving a little closer to him. “You do realize I didn’t come here for the food, John, right?”

“Yeah, I think I kind of got that,” he replies.

His voice is so gentle, so full of honest astonishment she can hardly believe it, must simply kiss him. When she places one hand on his thigh, he intensifies their kiss in a way that makes hot shivers run through her.

But he doesn’t move, sits there rather stiffly instead, which makes her finally break away from him. Her forehead leans against his, he is panting and when she looks at him, she can see the desire written all over his face.

“So, are you finally going to touch me?” She dares him softly.

“I’m not sure.” He murmurs.

“Not sure, why?”

John leans back, reaches for her hands. He needs a moment to find the right words, though.

“You remember how I said, I could handle that Klingon temper?”

“Yeah?”

“Right now I‘m not so certain about that,” he confesses. “And if we start doing something else but to kiss, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”

Kestra understands that the thought worries him, that he is really afraid that he might get carried away, do something she doesn't consent to. But looking into his eyes, she isn't afraid about that at all.

“I see.” She replies and then asks seriously, “But what makes you think I'd want us to stop?”

With a radiant smile, she leans towards him again and kisses him with fervor. And finally he gives in.

John's arms close around her and he pulls her with him as he sinks backwards onto the couch. Skillfully, his hands begin to roam over her body and slip under her clothes, and she is only too happy to do the same, further encouraging him to stop holding back.

Chapter Text

When he wakes up, John realizes he is alone. Suddenly wide awake, he sits up in his bed, looking around. Kestra is gone and so are her clothes. But when he hears a noise outside his room, he realizes she must still be in the apartment.

Is she about to leave? Probably, or why else would she take her clothes. He could just stay in bed, since she obviously didn’t mean to say goodbye to him. Out of consideration or because she was having second thoughts, he wonders.

Is she regretting sleeping with him, after all?

He sincerely hopes that isn’t the case. Because he for sure doesn’t.

But he’d rather know before they meet tomorrow at work, and so he jumps of the bed in a hurry, quickly puts on his boxers, and rushes out of the room. As he enters the tiny hall from which one can get to every other room of his apartment, he notices that her bag, and her shoes for that matter, are still there.

Therefore, she must be too. But when he checks the bathroom, it is empty.

Suddenly, he hears a light laughter coming from the other room. It’s Kestra. But it’s not only her, as she is joined by another voice. A very, very familiar voice.

Damn. That can’t be true.

He already has more than just a hunch what to expect before he enters the room. And of course, he’s right. There she is, sitting at his kitchen counter in the middle of the night, a cup in front of her, chatting with the woman he just had sex with.

His sister.

“I mean why bother attending a diplomatic gathering if…” She interrupts herself as she notices him, asking casually, “Hey, John. Sorry, did we wake you?”

“Miral?” He mumbles disbelievingly. “What are you doing here?”

Which is kind of unfair, since she lives here, too, in a way at least, and he never had anything against her coming and going as she pleases.

He prefers not to bring his dates home, but rather to go to their place, or somewhere else, for that matter. Actually, he has never had a woman in his apartment. It’s his private space. He is very particular about who he lets in. With Kestra, however, he didn't think twice. Like so many things about her, this is a first for him.

And since he's not at all sure what it means, the last thing he needs right now is for his sister to stick her curious nose into it. But it looks like she's already way past that.

“As I was telling Kestra here, I just had a little professional setback and had to abort my latest mission rather abruptly. Otherwise, I would’ve called first, of course.”

She says this rather cheerfully and then gets up.

“And now, if you’ll excuse me, since you’re up anyway, little brother, I’m going to take a shower and get changed. I’ve been wearing these clothes for forty-eight hours straight.”

She smiles. “It’s been nice meeting you, Kestra.”

“Likewise, Miral. And thanks for the tea.”

“You’re welcome.”

They both sound as if they had run into each other on the streets, John thinks perplexedly, wondering how they do that.

As Miral walks past John, she grins but says nothing as she leaves the room.

John’s gaze wanders back to Kestra, who has only just turned to face him. She is almost fully dressed, except for her uniform jacket, and her hair is already braided again.

His heart pounds as he remembers how she looked earlier when she was on top of him. The sight of her perfectly round breasts, her rosy cheeks, her red lips had been so exciting. Her loose hair had framed her face like a golden fire; her fair skin had glowed. Incredibly beautiful.

But not only that. She had lost herself in him as they explored each other’s bodies. In turn, he did too, sensing a need for her stronger than anything he’d ever experienced, feeling all his senses heightened, ready to respond to the slightest movement from her as he tried to find the right places and ways to touch, kiss, suck and lick her. And she took what she wanted from him and did so more passionately than he could ever have imagined. She may be petite, but she was far from soft and fragile, but fierce and strong.

When she catches his gaze, she smiles radiantly, and he feels a tremendous sense of relief as she shows no sign of embarrassment or even remorse.

“Hey.” He says softly.

“Hey.” She echoes.

“I’m so, so sorry about her.”

He nods to the door behind him.

“Don’t be.” She grins and gets up now, too. “I ran into her as I was getting dressed and she insisted I should join her for some Baghol. I hope that was okay.”

“Of course.”

A moment of silence settles in.

“Anyway, I should go now.” Kestra says in a low voice.

“You’re welcome to stay.” He assures her quickly.

“I know.” She replies quite naturally. “But I rest better in my own bed. Plus, I’ll need fresh clothes tomorrow morning before going to work.”

It’s more or less what he says to a woman when he leaves after a rendezvous, so he can hardly disagree. Yet, it feels weird being on the other end of it.

"I can walk you." He offers.

She shakes her head. "That’s really not necessary, John."

Together they step into the hall. She doesn’t touch him and somehow, he’s hesitant to reach out for her. Although he’d very much like to.

Silently John watches Kestra as she slips into her jacket and puts on her shoes. As she grabs her bag, he realizes he really needs to say something now. But he feels so odd, doesn’t know how to do this.

His mind races as he searches for the right words to tell her ... what exactly?

That it was amazing. That he has never felt with anyone like he did with her. That he would love to see her again, off work. That he hopes, more than anything, that she feels the same way.

But before he can say something, she does.

“Thank you for the invitation, John.” Kestra smiles at him with disarming charm. “I really enjoyed our evening. Every bit of it. Very, very much.”

“I did so, too,” he assures her, again somewhat taken aback by her direct and unpretentious manner.

It wouldn’t occur to her to pretend anything, or to play games with him. She means what she says, and she says what she feels. And she makes him do the same when they are together, even though he is usually rather reserved and rarely ever shows others what’s going on inside him.

When she is ready to leave, Kestra steps near him, and now her fingertips strive over his chest so gently, she’s giving him goose bumps. As she looks up at him there is an absolutely lovely, almost shy expression on her face.

“Maybe we can do this again sometime?” She asks quietly. “If you’re interested, I mean.”

Is she really doubting that? He can hardly believe it.

“I am.” He murmurs quickly, lays his hands on her waist to hold her close as he assures her with fervor. “I’m very interested.”

She doesn’t reply anything but smiles happily at him, then steps on her toes and kisses him tenderly. Being so close to her feels so good he has a hard time letting her go afterwards, but she steps back decidedly, now.

“Goodnight, John. See you tomorrow.”

She is almost out of the door when he whispers his goodbyes.

“Goodnight, Kestra.”

He continues to stare after her, even when the doors have closed until suddenly, he hears an amused chuckle behind himself.

“What?” Annoyedly, he turns around, clenching his jaw.

“Seriously, little brother? A cadet?”

Miral stands in the bathroom door, has freshened up and scrutinizes him somewhat dismissively.

“Were all the grown-up women busy?”

“Shut up, Miral, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” he bluffs back.

She is taken aback by his fierce response. For a moment, a dangerous fire flashes in her eyes, but then her features relax again, and her expression becomes neutral and unconcerned, as does her voice.

“Anyway, you could’ve told me you have a girlfriend now.” She says, only a little reproachful. “Then I would definitely have announced myself.”

“She’s not my girlfriend. We are…”

He cuts himself off, and she looks at him even more amused now.

“You are… what?” Miral lifts a brow sternly.

“We’ve not talked about it, yet, okay?” John admits angrily, and when he looks at her again, he can feel his cheeks are glowing. Almost desperately, he tries to find the right words.

“Kestra is… she’s different. Special.”

“Oh, Johnny,” Miral exclaims amazed, shaking her head at him almost as if she was pitying him. “Don’t tell me you’re in love?”

He doesn’t answer, just crosses his arms defensively in front of his chest.

“Where do you know her from, anyway?” His sister now inquires. “I would swear I've seen her already.”

There is a curious expression on her face that makes it clear to him she will not let this go, so he answers grudgingly.

“She’s my intern, if you must know.” He confesses. “And you probably saw her in the club we went to the last time you were here.”

“You mean she’s the one you tried to hit on and then stared at all night?” She asks with wide eyes. “You didn’t tell me you worked with her. Or that she was a cadet.”

“Well, I do, and she is.” He returns defiantly. “So, let’s hear it. I’m sure you have a lot to say about it. You can just as well get it out right now.”

Miral opens her mouth but doesn’t reply anything immediately. Instead, she studies him for a moment before smiling warmly. And when she speaks, she sounds absolutely sincere.

“I’m sorry, John. It's really none of my business.”

She pauses, before adding with a smirk, “But actually, I like her. She wasn’t embarrassed at all when I run into her as she was just leaving your bedroom, almost completely naked.”

He sighs annoyedly, as he hears this, still.

“Oh, don’t worry, I was very nice to her.”

When he gives Miral a doubtful look, she lifts her hands defensively.

"I'm serious! If not for you, then for Mom and Dad. You know how they feel about Captain Riker. Besides, he and his wife know pretty much everyone who's anyone in Starfleet. I would never be rude to their daughter for no reason. After all, I still have career plans."

He frowns, doesn’t get it at first. But when it dawns on him, he stares at her, flabbergasted, feeling incredibly stupid. He had seen in her file her full name was Troi-Riker. But he never even made the connection because on duty, she just goes by Troi.

When she joined the department, he understood her parents knew Doctor Talov somehow, but again, he had not thought much of it. And his superior never mentioned that their current intern was his old captain’s daughter, either.

“You really weren’t aware?” Miral asks when she realizes why he is so puzzled.

“No.” He admits, aghast.

His sister shakes her head in disbelief at his ignorance.

“My goodness, Johnny, you could really pay at least a little attention to who it is you’re sleeping with.” She scolds him. “Although I must admit it’s kind of funny that of all the cadets in this town, you happen to hook up with her. I mean, what are the odds?”

He knows what she means, of course, but he can't quite grasp it at the moment, wondering if Kestra knows about the fact that his parents served under her father for a short while. But why would she? After all, it was years before she was born, before he was born himself even. And it’s not as if this was changing anything. At least, not for him.

“Well, I don't care about her parents,” he returns coolly in an attempt to regain his composure. Miral's question about his feelings for Kestra is still drumming in the back of his mind, much louder than he would ever admit. But he's far too confused to answer it, if only for himself.

Miral, of course, is already over it, and rather tackles more practical questions.

“Alright, in light of these new circumstances I think it’s best if I’ll head over to Mom and Dad tomorrow and stay with them until I ship out again.”

“That would be great.” He admits grudgingly. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome. I wouldn’t want to get in the way of you and your special maybe-girlfriend. Just a little tip: if you want to get rid of the ‘maybe,’ you have to make sure it's worth her while to come back.”

She winks at him teasingly, and of course, her words make his cheeks flush again.

“Good night, Miral,” he mumbles and quickly turns around to go back to his room.

“Good night, Johnny! Sleep well.” She calls after him, giggling audibly.

When he lies down, his head is still spinning. But when he notices that the sheets smell a little like Kestra, he buries his face in them and, thinking of nothing but her, he quickly relaxes and falls asleep.

***

Kestra gasps, her chest rises and falls violently, and it takes her a moment to come fully back to the present.

There had been no food this time. No conversations. And no hesitation or doubts. He seems to have overcome them for good. Which is why they jumped each other the moment they stepped through his front door, both wanting nothing more than to relive the rush of their first night. Only to find that they could take it even further.

That was quite a surprise for her.

Of course, being relatively new to the game, she doesn't have that much to compare it to. She knows her body quite well and knows how to listen to her intuition, but when it comes to sex, she had trouble just switching off her mind. That's why so far, when she'd been with a man, she'd approached things quite methodically, doing her best to give a few tips on how they could both have fun, which had worked okay at best, so far.

But with John, it was different. Having spent so much time with him over the last few weeks, knowing him, trusting him, she just felt much more comfortable letting go, letting her intuition and instincts guide her. And John responded in the same way, with a passion that was breathtakingly intense. He used all his senses to pleasure her body, and he did so extremely thoroughly.

That's why she's now lying in his dimly lit bedroom, gasping for breath as if she's just sprinted to recover from a climax like she's never experienced before.

“You’re okay?” John whispers very lowly, rolls on the side and reaches out with one hand to stroke her bare back. He actually seems to be uncertain.

“Better than okay.” She assures, then turns her head to look at him as she teases, “I thought that had been kind of obvious.”

“I just want to make sure if I’ve interpreted the signs correctly.” He grins. “I didn’t even know such a petite person was able to make noises like that.”

Kestra suddenly feels a little insecure, after all, afraid her lack of restraint had been a little too much. But his next words make her doubts evaporate instantly.

“You’re unbelievably sexy when you have an orgasm, do you know that?”

John breathes the words slowly on her skin, making her shiver. His eyes sparkle as he kisses her shoulder to affirm his stance.

“And since tonight no relative of mine is going to surprise us with their presence, I’m more than happy to be at your service in case you want to go for another one. If you first allow me a little break, that is.”

“You’ve earned a break,” she says generously. “For a good cause, I’m prepared to wait.”

John laughs before he asks, “Meanwhile, can I get you something?”

“If we’re going for another round, I guess I could use something to drink.” She admits.

“I’ll be right back then.” He promises, kisses her and then gets off the bed.

Kestra pushes herself up a little to look after him, sighing happily. His tight butt, his perfectly modulated back and his strong shoulders simply leave nothing to be desired.

When John comes back shortly after, two glasses and a bottle in his hand, she sits up and beams at him.

“Here.” He hands her a full glass. “Not that you’ll become dehydrated. I’d consider that a professional mistake on my part.”

He sits down beside her, and they just look at each other while they refresh themselves, both naked and sweaty. But funny enough, Kestra thinks, although this between them is so new, it’s not awkward at all. Rather, she feels completely at ease at his side - just as much in his bed as she does in the lab.

When she is done, she simply hands him the empty glass and sinks back down into the sheets.

“What happened to your sister? Is she on a new assignment already?” She inquires thoughtfully after a moment.

When he told her earlier while they were cleaning up the lab that his sister had left and they could have his apartment all for themselves if she was interested in joining him again, she had been so delighted at the prospect she had not really bothered to think about where Miral might have vanished to.

“No, I think she’s shipping out tomorrow or the day after that.” John replies casually. “But she decided to stay with our parents, for the time being.”

“Because of me?”

The thought makes her somewhat uneasy. She surely didn’t mean to drive her away, especially since she had been so nice and completely relaxed, despite the rather unusual circumstances of their nightly encounter.

“Honestly, yes. And since she offered, I did not protest.”

He seems to know what she’s thinking, and hurries to assure her, “There’s no need for you to feel bad about it, at all. I’m sure my parents love having her over. They haven’t seen much of her lately. So, actually, it’s like you’re doing them a favor.”

She laughs out at that. “I wasn’t aware sleeping with you was a favor to your parents, but okay.”

Meanwhile, John lays down at her side again, begins to softly stroke her body. Kestra closes her eyes, happily enjoying his gentle caresses for a while.

“Can I tell you something really weird?” He suddenly asks her.

“Sure.” Kestra confirms softly.

“Miral made me aware that your father is William Riker, former captain of the Titan.”

She frowns but doesn’t open her eyes, just murmurs, “Huh, and what’s weird about that?”

“My parents served on the Titan. Under your father.”

Now Kestra does open her eyes after all. “They did?”

“Just for a few months, but... yeah.” He shrugs, and anticipating her next question he adds, “Before I was born.”

“I didn’t know that. That’s funny.”

“Actually, it’s more than that.” He strokes a strain of hair out of her face. “Because as far as the story goes in my family, my parents might never have had me, if they hadn’t come to the Titan.”

She doesn’t understand. “How is that?”

“Okay, keep in mind, it’s just hearsay, of course, but it goes something like this:

After Miral was born, my mother had decided that one child was enough. And, well, she's really stubborn, so once she's made up her mind, that's usually it. And my father, who was very happy with the family he had, agreed. Anyway, very soon after they joined the crew of the Titan, the captain's wife gave birth to a son. Your brother, as I now know. The captain and his wife were overjoyed and so madly in love with their child that the whole crew was infected by their happiness. So much so that even my mother couldn't help it. Miraculously, it made her forget all the stresses and strains of pregnancy and the first few years of parenthood and suddenly she was longing for another baby herself and told my father that she had changed her mind. Soon after, my mother was pregnant. And that's basically the story of how I came to be.”

He grins.

“Usually, that’s the part where my father makes a toast to praise Captain Riker and his wife for making me possible. But I’m not going to do that now. For obvious reasons.”

Kestra stares at him, flabbergasted. He gives her a moment to recover from the surprise.

“That is really weird.” She finally says lowly.

“It’s completely weird.” John affirms, while playing with her hair. “Some kind of coincidence, huh? That you end up on my service for your internship and we… well, connect the way we did?”

The look he gives her is tender and wondrous, and she has the feeling there lies something underneath his words, a question. Could it be that their paths were meant to cross sooner or later?

When she doesn’t say anything, though, John’s head sinks down, and he inhales deeply as he buries his face in her hair, ready to change the topic.

“You smell so amazing,” he sighs deeply. “I don’t think I’ve ever smelled anything that good.”

Then he strokes her hair to the side and begins to place wet and consuming kisses on her throat, making her gasp. And as she realizes he is more than ready for that next round, Kestra instantly stops thinking again.

Chapter Text

“…and while your mother is enjoying herself, being the star of the conference with a bunch of young engineers hanging on her lips, I've finally finished my latest holo-novel. Would you like to be the first to try it?”

Tom Paris looks at his son with whom he’s having dinner in their family home. But John only absentmindedly pushes his food around on his plate, has barely listened to what his father is saying.

He invited him a few days ago, and knowing he would be free tonight, John agreed to come over. However, he has a hard time focusing on their conversation.

Tomorrow is Kestra’s last day in the department. The last day they will work together. And maybe the last day he will see her.

Which is not at all what he wants. But it might not be up to him.

The more he thinks about it the more he feels like she has been preparing him for it these last days. Yesterday, she had her weekly training session, and they didn’t see each other after work. The day before that she was helping her roommate with her studies. Tonight, she’s meeting with her parents and some of their friends.

Nothing of those things is remarkable, of course, and so he didn’t think much of it at first. But when he asked her a few days ago to go out with him tomorrow, have drinks and dinner at a nice restaurant to honor the occasion of her last day at Starfleet Medical, she answered uncharacteristically evasive.

He didn’t push, and she never broached the subject again. And as he said goodbye to her today when she was already on her way out to HQ to pick up her mother, he could see in her eyes, something was up. He could feel it. But he didn’t dare to ask.

“John?” His father’s warm voice tears him out of his thoughts.

Quickly, he looks up.

“Yes?”

When his father looks at him astonished, he adds, “Sorry, Dad. I was distracted. What did you say?”

“I was just saying, we could try out the new holo-novel I have been working on for months. I’d love your opinion.” He explains friendly. “We haven’t done that in a while.”

“Yeah, sorry about that, I had a lot going on,” John says evasively, feeling a slight sting of guilt. Lately, he hasn’t been in touch with his parents as much as he usually does.

“You don’t need to apologize.” His father returns mildly. “You wanted to spend time with your girl. Believe me, I understand.”

Tom Paris sets the cutlery down, wipes his mouth and looks at him encouragingly.

“She must be really something. I’ve never seen you like this.”

But John just stares at him.

“Did Miral…,” he begins but gets cut off immediately.

“Your sister didn't say a word.” His father assures him and grins. “Must have been really difficult for her.”

“But then how do you know...?”

“Oh, please. When a young man has suddenly much less spare time but won’t tell what he is spending it with, or rather, with whom, it’s not hard to guess what that means. Especially since you’ve also been in such an extraordinarily good mood at the same time. Except today, of course. So, what’s happened?” He puts on a sympathetic face. “Is she mad at you? Did you say or do something stupid?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? Because sometimes this happens without one noticing.”

“She’s not mad at me, Dad.”

“And yet you’re worried. Why?”

John shrugs his shoulders. “I’m not sure.”

“Why don’t you tell me a little more? Maybe I can help you.”

When John looks at him rather doubtfully, his father obviously feels challenged.

“Hey, I'm really good at this stuff. Just ask Harry. He had no idea about women before we met.”

“Harry’s still single, Dad.” John states dryly, not feeling that his father is making a particularly strong case for himself with this example.

“I said I gave him advice.” He returns, sightly indignant. “What he did with it is entirely his responsibility.”

John can’t help but laugh at that.

“Now that’s much better,” Tom says contently. “And now, spill it. What’s her name?”

Knowing it’s no use to deny it any longer and also feeling he could actually use some advice, John finally gives up his resistance. Only grudgingly, though.

“Kestra.”

“Okay, tell me about Kestra. Where did you meet her?”

“On duty. She’s doing an internship at my department. We started seeing each other outside work a few weeks ago.”

He can tell his father is surprised but he just waits for him to continue. Which he does, and the next words almost fall out of his mouth without him thinking about it.

“She’s amazing. Super smart. Beautiful. Funny. Gentle. But if she wants something, she gets it.” He smirks as he continues. “Actually, although I really liked her, I was hesitant to get involved with her at first because, strictly speaking, she’s my subordinate and all. But she totally didn’t care.”

“So, she’s determined,” says Tom Paris with a knowing smirk. It’s not as if he’s unaware of the appeal of this trait in a woman.

“You can say that,” his son confirms quietly. “Anyway, things are going really great, or so I thought. But now her time in the department is almost over and I fear this means our time together is, too.”

He shrugs.

“Do you want to keep seeing her?” His father asks gently.

“Of course I do.”

“And did you tell her that?”

John doesn’t answer.

“Because that would be kind of the obvious thing to do, don’t you think?”

“I guess so,” he admits contritely. “But to be honest, I’m not sure I want to hear her answer.”

Suddenly, John's confused emotions break out of him with fervor.

“When this started with us, I was worried. For her. Because she’s younger than me and a cadet. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, assuming it would be like it always is, you know? Have a few dates, have some fun and then say goodbye. But I was an idiot. I didn’t even consider the possibility that I wouldn’t want to say goodbye to her. And now, I'm even too weak to talk to her about it.”

He shakes his head, buries his face in his hands for a moment.

Silence settles in. When John looks up again, his father has sat down next to him and now lays a hand on his shoulder.

“Well, son, I don’t know what to say except that the way you feel right now, that’s normal. It’s the risk we all take when we fall in love. It makes you vulnerable.” His voice is warm. “However, to be able to admit to it, and may it just be to yourself, that is neither a sign of stupidity nor weakness, but of maturity and strength. Don’t forget that.”

"Okay." John finally murmurs. "Any further advice?"

"Yes." Tom pats his back encouragingly. “Talk to her. Ask for what she wants. Listen carefully. Show her the respect she deserves.”

They gaze at each other, and finally, slowly, John nods.

“You're right. Thanks, Dad.”

“Thank you, for sharing this with me.” His father replies quite seriously. "I know that wasn’t easy for you. I'm honored you trust me with it."

Father and son exchange another meaningful look. And then, quickly, before this gets too awkward, Tom changes his tone, again.

“So, what do you say about trying out the holo-novel?” He winks. “One chapter, maybe? For your old man?”

“Of course, Dad.” John agrees with a gentle smile. “Most gladly.” 

***

Deanna Troi is just about to leave her office at Starfleet HQ when there’s a caller at her door.

“Come in,” she says while continuing to pack up her stuff. When she sees who is paying her a visit though, she halts.

“Hey Mom.” Kestra smiles as she walks over to her. “I thought I could pick you up.”

Deanna hugs her daughter softly, but it’s not as if she was going to let her fool her for even a second. Therefore, she gives her that specific look.

“And I was wondering if maybe we can have a little chat in private before we meet the others,” Kestra immediately admits. “I could really use your help with something.”

“Of course.” Deanna puts her arm around her daughter and together they walk over to the ensemble of comfortable chairs where she usually has her talks with her patients.

When they have sat down, and Deanna notices her daughter’s nervousness, she is pretty certain where this is going. Naturally, she noticed something inside her had changed recently. It had been more difficult for her than she expected to hold herself back to ask her about it. But if Kestra wanted her to know, she would’ve told her. And Deanna has sworn to herself to never unsolicited involve herself into her daughter’s private life.

But since Kestra seems ready to fill her in now, she addresses the issue directly.

“So, I guess this is about the man you’ve been seeing lately?” She asks. “The one from Starfleet Medical.”

For a second Kestra freezes, but then she just nods.

“Yes.”

“And how can I help you?”

“Actually, I’d like your advice if I should keep seeing him or not.”

Deanna is surprised, and of course instantly refuses her daughter’s appeal.

“Oh, honey, that’s really none of my business. That’s only for you two to decide.”

“I was fearing you’d say something like that,” Kestra sighs.

“Because you know me very well,” Deanna gives back.

“Are you sure you cannot even give me the slightest hint?” Her daughter tries again. “Because I’m really at my wit’s end, here. I feel so torn. But tomorrow is my last day, and don’t think I can delay the issue any longer. However, I figured, before I have a conversation about that with him, I should know what I want for myself, right?”

Since she can’t sit still any longer, Kestra jumps up from her seat and starts pacing the room as she grapples with her emotions.

“I like to be with him. He’s completely different from the guys I’ve met so far. It’s easy between us, we understand each other, and we have fun together.”

Her cheeks blush, as a certain thought crosses her mind.

“We really… connect, you know?”

“Oh, I know,” Deanna replies calmly. “You mean, you connect in bed.”

“Amongst other things, yes.” Kestra admits. The happy smirk on her face vanishes instantly again, though.

“But now that I’m going back to the academy, I think it would be a good time to call it quits. With our different schedules, we’ll hardly be able to find much time to meet anyway. Plus, I don’t want to get distracted from my studies now. I only have a few months left. I should be focused on that. Don’t you think?”

Easily recognizing her reasoning for the excuse it is, Deanna studies her daughter carefully, trying to get to the emotional bottom of the problem before she answers.

“It rather seems to me as if you’re planning a preemptive strike,” she finally declares sternly. “Ending the relationship before you start to care too much for him.”

Kestra presses her lips together. She looks almost as guilty as she did when she was a little girl and had done something wrong.

“Maybe.” She murmurs very lowly. “Pretty pathetic, right?”

But Deanna neither meant to shame her nor does she want her daughter to be so hard on herself. Softly, she reaches out for her.

“Come here.”

She waits until Kestra has settled at her side again, leans forward and takes her hand.

“Kestra, you’ve already suffered a great loss. And while you have come out of it so strong, you will always carry this burden with you.”

“What happened to Thad has nothing to do with me and John,” she protests.

“No, but it has to do with you. With your heart.” Deanna replies with utmost gentleness, holding her gaze. “You know better than most people your age what it means to love someone deeply and lose them for good. But to hide from your feelings is not the answer.”

“I know,” Kestra finally whispers, and the tone of her voice just as the emotions she senses inside her daughter touches Deanna deeply.

“It’s okay to be afraid to get hurt,” she therefore assures her.

“You’re not afraid,” Kestra returns with conviction. “You’ve never been afraid of it.”

“Yes, I have,” Deanna contradicts. “For a very long time.”

Kestra frowns at her, doesn’t understand, of course. But since she’s convinced her daughter needs to hear this, she explains.

“All those years ago, when your father and I split up, the first time we were together, I should’ve fought. I should’ve demanded from him to face me; to look me in the eye and tell me he didn’t love me anymore. But I couldn’t. I didn’t dare. I accepted his excuses because I was afraid if I did confront him, it would only bring me more suffering.”

She pauses, gives her a moment to let her words sink in.

“After that I built myself a good life, one I was very content with. With a great career, great friends, and the occasional love affair. You know with romance and butterflies and a lot of fun. But I never went all in again. Instead, I always made sure I kept my heart safe. Because I didn't want to get hurt."

Looking into Kestra’s eyes, the eyes that are so much like Will's and Thad's, Deanna can’t help but smile.

"But when I stopped doing that, when I truly let my heart guide me again, without fear, I could experience the depth of the love that connects me with your father - and because of it, for almost thirty years I was blessed with more happiness than I could ever have imagined. However, just because I stopped being afraid doesn't mean I didn't get hurt still, nor that getting there was easy."

Deanna recognizes from her daughter’s gentle gaze that she understands what she means, and so she comes back to the issue at hand.

“I cannot tell you what to do, Kestra. This is your life we’re talking about and only yours. You must find your own way. And believe me, you will find it. But I can’t promise you that you are not going to get hurt on the way, that you won’t suffer, that your heart won’t get broken if you allow it to guide you. No one can. And if you feel you’re not ready, then that’s absolutely okay.”

She tenderly strokes her cheek.

“But what I can promise you is that I love you, that your father loves you, and we will always be there for you. No matter what. Okay?”

“Okay.” Kestra nods. “Thank you, Mom.”

“Anytime baby.”

She kisses her forehead and then looks at her lovingly.

“Are you ready to meet with the others, or do you need a little more time, still? Because then I’d like to call your father and tell him we’ll be late. You don’t need to worry, he’ll understand. Plus, he has Jean-Luc, Beverly and Chris to keep him company.”

“No, I’m fine. I think I know what I’m going to do.” She smiles softly. “Besides, Dad is so excited for this. We should not keep him and the others waiting.”

When they get up, Deanna gazes at her daughter expectantly.

“And will you tell me what you’ve decided?”

“As if you wouldn’t know exactly,” Kestra gives back with a smirk, before admitting somewhat anxiously, “I still need to talk to John and hear what he wants, though.”

"Of course. But if it turns out you both want the same, just know you are free to bring him to the party," Deanna suggests as they leave the office arm in arm. “I'd love to meet him.”

Kestra frowns doubtfully as she thinks about it.

"Okay, but if he and I decide to do that, I need you to break the news to Dad. Because he’s going to freak out.”

"Don't worry about it." Deanna promises with a cheerful laughter. "I got your father covered." 

***

John puts the book down when the signal rings, astonishedly. He isn’t expecting anyone, especially not since it’s late and he's already in bed. He’s even more surprised to see on the computer that Kestra’s standing in front of his apartment. When she told him, she’d meet with her parents and their friends tonight he was under the impression he would only see her the next day.

She smiles as he opens the door for her.

“Hey John. Sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“You didn’t.” He assures her.

“May I come in?”

“Of course.”

Still feeling somewhat odd, John only steps back a little, and Kestra doesn’t turn towards one of the other rooms either. Instead, they stand a little apart from each other in the hall, both somewhat insecure.

Finally, remembering where she had been this evening, he asks, “How did you and your mother liked your father’s plans for their anniversary?”

“Well, it’s definitely going to be quite the party.” Kestra says dryly. “Although I’m not sure my mother is even going to notice. She was totally smitten with the arrangements my father has come up with for this ceremony they are having before that. It’s almost as if they're getting married all over again, completely over the top, and quite corny.”

She rolls her eyes, but then admits with a mild smile, “But actually, it’s very them.”

John grins at that. He knows how close she is with her parents, how much their happiness means to her, and it’s not as if he couldn’t relate.

“Well, I think it's nice that they do that. I mean, honor the day,” he says and means it.

“My parents didn't plan anything special for their 25th wedding anniversary. So, my uncle Harry, their best friend, organized a big surprise party for them and got all the old crew members from when they got married on the Voyager together. It was really a lot of work. Miral helped him with everything, of course. And I only had one job: to get my parents to the party. But when I beamed home to pick them up, they weren't in the mood to get dressed and go out. I got nervous, and when I tried to persuade them, I accidentally gave everything away and ruined the surprise.”

He contorts his face at the memory.

“They still had a good time, I think. Only my uncle Harry was not so amused. Unfortunately, my mom is not very convincing when she pretends to be surprised.”

They both laugh lowly at that, but then again, a somewhat tense silence settles in between them.

“Can I get you something?” John finally offers in a rather strained voice, pointing to the door where kitchen and living room lie.

“No, thanks.” She replies quickly, strokes a strain of hair behind her ear nervously and then decides it’s time to say what she came here for. Time to be brave.

She takes a deep breath.

“I need to talk to you, John.”

He swallows hard.

“I see.”

His expression becomes quite serious, feeling he knows exactly what is about to follow. But he is going to do what his father said, listen to her and of course he is prepared to respectfully accept her decision.

It’s not as if she ever promised him anything. They never took the time to define their relationship, and he was content with the simplicity of their arrangement, working side by side during the day and indulging each other at night. It’s not her fault that this time is now over and she wants to move on, while he wants something different.

“Actually, I need to ask you something.” Kestra corrects herself, and the gentle sound of her voice calms him somehow.

“Okay, then ask me.”

She talks fast, even faster than usual, as she often does when she’s excited or nervous.

“Well, it only just dawned on me tonight that my parents’ anniversary is going to be a real big thing, and I could really use some back-up that day. You know, someone who didn’t know me already when I was still in diapers. But I must warn you. The guestlist reads like a who is who of Starfleet and it’s probably going to be totally boring, so I’d completely understand if you say no.”

“What?” John stammers, just stares at her.

“I’d like you to come with me, John. To my parents’ party.” She shrugs a shoulder. “You know, as my plus one.”

Quickly, she goes on.

“Knowing my dad, the food and drinks will be great, and there’ll be a real band and dancing. So, I thought, together, you and I could have a real good time there. But if you’re not interested, please feel free to just say it. I get it. I’ll take Zelma then. She’s totally into romantic stuff like that.”

John still has a hard time to grasp what she is saying.

“You want me to be your date at your parent’s anniversary?” He asks disbelievingly. He had been so sure she was going to break up with him.

“Only if you want to, of course.” Kestra replies quietly, bites her lips, and doesn’t say anything anymore.

When he realizes she’s starting to have serious doubts about that, he utters apologizingly, “Ah, sorry, you caught me a little by surprise with this.”

“I know. You don’t have to decide right away. Just think about it.”

“No.” John is fast to exclaim. “I don’t need to think about it. Count me in.”

A beautiful smile lights up her face.

“Okay. Great.” Kestra steps a little closer. “And while we’re at it, I was wondering if your offer for going out tomorrow evening still stands?”

“Of course it does,” John replies, and reaches for her hands. They feel soft and cool, and while he holds them, he asks her a question himself now.

“Maybe we can talk then about how to arrange for us to still see each other when you’re back at the academy?” He inquires. “I know you’ll be very busy studying, and I would never want to keep you from that, but I was hoping I could take you on a date, at least every now and then?”

“I’d like that.” She returns, and then says thoughtfully, “It’s going to be so weird to go back to the academy and not doing anything useful anymore. I’m going to miss that.”

She sighs, before adding, “And I’m really going to miss working with you, John.”

“Yeah, I’ll miss that, too.” He affirms while holding her gaze firmly.

As she steps even closer now, Kestra let’s go of his hands. Instead, her fingers begin to playfully tuck at the hemline of his shirt, and her fingertips strive lightly over his stomach while the tone of her voice changes significantly.

“However, the good news is, as of after tomorrow, you won’t have to feel bad for screwing the intern, anymore.”

Her eyes sparkle as she goes on teasing him.

“So, you better keep your hands off the next one, Ensign Paris.”

John grins, and shakes his head, amused and just as playful.

“Don’t worry, Cadet. I'm pretty sure someone like you is not going to come around again anytime soon.”

His arms close around her, and he pulls her in already, as she murmurs delightedly and with a beaming smile, “Right answer.”

And with this, Kestra steps on her toes to kiss him happily and with much fervor, determined to let John’s body help her forget about her fears, to simply enjoy what they have right now, and to wait and see where her heart is going to lead her.