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Chapter Text

Wanda and Clint stared out into the still, open lake. Distant voices from the main house filled the air, but it was still rather quiet. 

Clint looked at Wanda, wondering what he could say to her that would help right now. Probably nothing, he figured. He looked back out to the lake, and said “I wish there was a way to let her know that we won. We did it.” 

“She knows,” Wanda responded quietly, “I think she does.” 

The breeze brushed in between them loudly and caused the water to ripple slightly. 

“She loved you so much Wanda.” 

“I know.” 

Clint put his arm around and held her close. Wanda and likewise, wrapping her arm around him. She could feel her powers warble in her slightly, like they always did when she felt big emotions. A few moments passed. 

“Want to go back in?” Clint questioned, dropping his arm around her and turning to face her. 

“Yeah, sure…I’m sorry,” Wanda said softly. 

“About what?”

“Dragging you out here.” She gestured around her.

“Ah, we all need some air sometimes. You just needed a break, so did I, honestly.” 

She smiled at him. They joined hands then walked back inside. 

Wanda sat down in a loveseat in the corner of the room. Clint had left to go talk to Steve. People came up and talked to her every now and then, but it was obvious she didn’t care for what they had to say so they usually walked away. 

The funeral lasted almost the whole day. There were too many people for her and too much sadness. It was a lot for her. Her thoughts swarmed and overtook her. 

Losing five years of her life was so much for her. And now being here, being reminded of it, was brutal. There were so many people talking to her–about what she was going to do now and that she was back and about Natasha and how sorry they were about her. 

And there was so much sadness about Tony people really loved him and lost him. It reminded her of how she lost Natasha. It made her feel worse. It also reminded her that people would never be as kind to her as they were to Pepper, Tony and Pepper were married, and Natsahsa and Wanda had barely even told the Avengers they were dating even after several years.

That made her feel even worse.

Like Natasha had died to save her–who even was she? Her stupid little girlfriend that only like five people knew about? Even though they had been together only a year after defeating Ultron–they clicked really fast. Soon they told a few people. Not out of fear or anything, they just wanted something for themselves. And they were happy.  But to most she really was nothing, just Natasha’s friend to most.  

She felt tired. So tired. She had been feeling awful ever since she came back. 

One thing being is that her body felt all weird from literally being gone from existence for five years then suddenly coming back. She was twenty-nine when she was blipped. And now it was five years later. Was she thirty-four? Was she still twenty-nine? Did it matter? Coming back was like waking up from a nightmare you couldn’t quite remember. Nick had told her that he had felt the same. Bucky had said he felt like he wasn’t really real still. So at least she had community in that aspect. 

But also upon coming back she had nowhere to go and no one to go home to like many others did. And she felt like it was her fault that Natasha was gone. Clint had told her over and over that all Natasha wanted was to bring her and the others back, and now that she was back, she felt awful. 

Natasha shouldn’t have given her life for her. 

She wasn’t worth it. 

Of course Wanda knew it was also for about half the population and other people that Natasha loved, too. But Wanda felt personally liable for it. 

She was in a constant loop: It’s all your fault. 

It’s your fault she’s gone. 

Her head was swimming with those thoughts. There was no way she could even try to keep up a conversation with anyone. She just wanted to sleep, maybe forever. Or maybe when she woke up Natasha would be there, maybe Pietro would be there too. 

And it reminded her that they had to hold a funeral for Natsaha. Clint said they would wait until they located Yelena, as no one knew where she was. Wanda didn’t know if holding it off made things worse or better. 

At some point during the funeral’s reception, Clint sat next to her and told her they were all going to return to the compound soon. Most of them had stayed there after everything. They helped out on low-key missions: mostly bringing people back together and helping out on smaller serious missions. 

And not everyone knew where to go or what to do–especially the Sokovian–so they all decided to stay in the compound until real life plans were made. 

After the big battle with Thanos, they all returned to the compound. They all went hard at work to rebuild it. Steve told Wanda that it made them feel like Tony was still there, since he had given the Avengers the compound, so they had to save it. 

For the week they took to rebuild, they all had to stay in one small wing of the building that wasn’t destroyed, then as more became available, they moved in further. Wanda didn’t sleep at all for two days until Steve had given her a sleeping pill and told her she had to. He was gentle about it, she resisted, but in the end the tiredness caught up to her and she slept for a long time. 

When she woke up she forgot where she was and screamed until Steve came in and re-explained everything that had happened. Steve stayed by her bed and chatted mostly to himself before they decided she could go back to her room and function by herself, which was only a couple days after that. 

After that she tried to get back into the swing of things but it was just too hard, now two weeks after that was Tony’s funeral, and here she is. Steve had been forcing her to eat and made sure that someone got her at mealtimes and talked to her quietly when she was willing. It was only him and Clint who even tried to talk to her, the rest were quiet around her, almost like they were scared. 

She thought they had a right to that. 

Clint came up to her and sat next to her quietly. 

“Hey guys. I think we are going to head back to the compound soon, it’s been a long day,” Steve said, bringing them both out of their thoughts. 

Wanda nodded up at him. He flashed her a smile, trying to lighten the mood, but she did not respond with the same. 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll say goodbyes,” Clint muttered. 

“We are going to meet outside in five, okay?”

Wanda nodded again and Clint hummed in response. Soon, all of them had been rounded up in a couple cars to head back to the compound.

After getting back to the compound and eating dinner, Wanda watched her VHS tapes that the Avengers had luckily kept, probably due to Natasha. She was able to watch them on a wonky television that Clint had found her, who knows where, but she was so grateful for it. It was one of her only comforts. 

Her mind was crazy, as was the rest of the world. Steve and the Avengers had gone on mission after mission in the past two weeks to try to restore some peace. Half of the population coming back to life wasn’t as seamless as it would look like. And all the while, she stayed holed up in her room, unable to process anything. 

After a few episodes, Steve came into her room, presumably to check up on her. He took in her room. He had been in it a lot, trying to check on her, but this time it looked a lot messier. Pillows were thrown on the floor. Her dress from the funeral also was thrown on the floor, along with many other articles of clothing. Several empty glasses sat on her nightstand. VHS tapes were out of their cases and precariously stacked. Blankets that Steve vaguely thinks he saw in Natasha’s room the other day were piled on her bed. The windows let in a small amount of moonlight, the only other light than the slim glow of the television screen. 

She was sitting at the end of the bed, legs crossed, looking blankly at the television. 

“Hey, Wanda.” She looked up at him. He came up to her bed and sat down next to her. “So, today was a lot.”

She hummed in response, peeling her eyes away from the show and looking at him. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You need anything?”

“No. I– Thank you though.” 

“Okay, just let me know if you do. I’m always here, you know that right?” He tried to meet her eye, but she avoided it. 

“Yeah.”

Steve looked down and then around the room. “Wanda, can I ask you something?”

“What?” she responded hesitantly, now meeting his eye.

“Your powers,” he paused, “I mean…I don’t want to pry. But where did they go? I haven’t seen you use them since the fight and I mean before you were blipped you used them a lot, even not in fights.”

She sighed. “I don’t know. I can feel them still, but they don’t want to come out.” After the battle happened she couldn’t conjure them up, and they wouldn’t jump out when she was emotional. She tried not to think about it too much. It was just another thing to worry about. 

She could feel it thrumming inside her and she used them during the fight, but now they were gone. It annoyed and frustrated her. 

But she had hoped that it was just the whole coming back from the dead and not really sleeping or eating thing and that they would be back soon. She hoped very hard. 

“Oh,” he said softly. Well now he felt bad for asking; she probably felt insecure about it. But at least she told him, at least she was talking to him more. A weird guilt panged at his chest, he was prying, maybe he shouldn’t. But maybe he should be, maybe he should get her to tell him things more, maybe he should get her to talk to him more. 

“I just don’t know, okay?” she said, with a hint of anger. The weird guilt grew stronger now. 

“Okay. It’s okay, Wanda. I’m not mad. I just want to…Make sure everything’s okay with you, you know?” 

She spoke with a sharp tone, “Yeah, you said that already.”

“I guess I did. Well,” he stood up and glanced around, “I’ll leave you to,” he glanced at the old television, “...Dick Van Dyke.” 

He walked out, and Wanda slumped against her bedframe. She tried to look inside herself for her powers, but it was barely there, like they had been since after the fight. Nothing had changed. They were still just a small flicker. Exhaustion overtook her and she fell asleep with Dick Van Dyke still on. 

Steve came in later and turned it off, he also pulled one of Natasha’s blankets over her. 

The day after that, Wanda slept in, per usual, Clint came to her room midmorning, unusual because he–for the most part–only came in around noon and six for meals. 

“Wanda?”

She rolled over on her bed and looked at him. At the sight of her and her messy room, he felt defeated. There was nothing he could do or say that would help her. Grief coursed through him strongly, and he couldn’t imagine how strong it was for her, on top of Vision and the five years of her life. 

“Hi. So I wanted to tell you that Steve is going to return the stones tonight. With Bruce, Bucky, and Sam.” 

She hummed in response. 

“I just thought you ought to know.” He moved in closer to the room. “Wanda, I know this is a lot, but it’s maybe time to start…” he trailed off. After the funeral, he felt lighter, like maybe he could start moving on. Natasha always stayed with him, and maybe he could just carry her like that and carry on with his life. And he wanted to tell her to do the same. But how was he supposed to tell her to start moving on? He couldn’t. 

“To start what?” she snapped. She didn’t know how to start anything now. 

 And was there ever in the first place? She never really had a home minus her tiny apartment in Sokovia with her parents that was long gone. The Avengers became her home, and then Natasha became her home. And now she is gone.

Clint sighed. “Anyway. Dinners at six. They are going after to get the stones. Do you want to come out and play cards? Bucky wants us to teach him how to play some card games.” 

Wanda shook her head. 

“Alright. Well…I’ll come get you at lunch and dinner.” 

All Clint wanted to do was scream at her; he tried once, two days after everyone was back.

While everyone was happy and joyful, Wanda was completely distraught and broken and had not eaten or slept since she came back. 

Her behavior was over everything she had lost upon coming back, especially Natasha, which was the worst. Clint knew how awful she felt, but he ignored it. He wanted her just to try to be happy at her second chance at life along with everyone else who came back. But, no she was dragging him down with her own sadness. It felt like she was drowning in it and bringing him down with her and had been since she came back. 

He felt so mad at her for it; the emotion of the past five years culminating up to now made it even stronger. 

Clint tried yelling at her. She screamed at him, she might have been more mad at him, and cried for the entire afternoon into the night. So he did not do that anymore. 

The day after the yelling, Steve had forced her to sleep and once she woke up, he had forced her to eat. Steve had a gentleness with her where he could exert force. 

But Clint didn’t have the same. His anger over her sadness was too much for him. 

Clint came into Wanda’s room to get her for dinner. At dinner, she sat at the end of the right table across from Clint as usual. 

“So, my flight back to Iowa is tomorrow at noon. I hope you all can manage without me,” he said with a light laugh. 

“Hmm, I don’t know. What would we do if we needed someone to hit a bullseye on a target for no reason but to show off?” Steve commented, from the head of the table.

“We are just going to fall apart without you,” Sam added with a grin. 

“Ha ha.” 

They fell into an easy chat for the rest of dinner. Wanda stayed relatively quiet, per usual. 

But so did Steve; he was nervous about returning the stones. 

Maybe if they returned the soul stone, Natasha could come back, was all he could think about.

He had been thinking about it ever since they had come back from the time heist. And tonight would prove his theory either right or wrong. He hadn’t told anyone out of fear of too much hope. 

It was too much hope for him. He wished and prayed every night that it would work. He missed Natasha like she had been a part of his own body. Whenever he saw anything red, he thought of her red hair. He found himself looking for her in the compound. There were points where he forgot that she was ever even alive and it made him feel even worse. It was eating him from the inside out. 

But there was a small hope. This was the only reason why he hadn’t been falling apart over her loss.

He especially would not tell Wanda about this theory. If it didn’t work, that would crush her even more. It would break her. He saw her as a daughter and seeing her so upset about losing Natasha, Vision, and five years of her life was crushing him.  

On the other hand, keeping it from her also was killing him. He felt like he was lying to her every time that their eyes went. Wanda was closest to Natasha and there was a chance she could be back. It felt so dishonest and disrespectful to Wanda and Natasha’s relationship. 

But if it didn’t work it would crush her. So a secret it stayed. 

Steve tried to stay extra quiet the whole day especially during dinner so as to not arouse suspicion. Bucky had taken note of it, but chalked it up to nerves about giving back the stones. 

Finally as they were clearing plates, Steve began to talk, he tried to stay nonchalant, but he was trying as hard as he could to be convincing.  

“Clint, what do you think about coming with us to return the stones? Watch some time travel?”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty tired. And I’ve seen time travel.”

“Don’t you want to see more?”

Clint shrugged. “Yeah. Sure. When are you leaving?”

“About thirty.” 

“Okay, I’ll meet you guys at the front door then.” 

“Alright!” 

Even if she didn’t come back, he would have some more time with Clint before he left, a win win. 

He wanted to ask Wanda to come with so she could see her if she did come back, but he figured Clint would be more willing to come with. 

Steve stepped into the kitchen with the plates and began to load the dishwasher–trying to do it slowly, methodically, but his hands were shaking. 

“Hey,” Bucky said, putting his hand lightly on his back. 

Steve turned around to look at him. Worry was etched on Bucky’s face. “Oh hey.” 

“What’s up? You’re tense and quiet.” 

“Nothing. Just the stones, I guess.”

“Everything’ll be alright. Don’t sweat it. You’ve done this before, remember.” 

Steve stayed silent for a while. His head was full of thoughts of Natasha, they threatened to leave his mouth, but no. This was now about keeping his hope in check. He couldn’t tell anyone and make it real if it wasn’t going to be. “Yeah, I got it.” 

“Don’t worry too much. We’ve done enough of that.” Bucky flashed him a smile then turned back toward the dining room. 

Steve looked toward the direction Bucky was heading and saw that Wanda had left the commonspace, returning to her room. He was happy, so she wouldn’t see them off. She wouldn’t be able to see his anxiety. 

God, he was so freaked out. 

He was shaking still when they all met up to make sure that Bruce had all of his equipment ready and they all met in the living room.

Wanda holed herself up in her room as soon as they began to clean up dinner. She set up the VHS player on the wonky television, like she had every night since she found it. 

It was kinda staticky and some of the picture was distorted at times, but it comforted her a lot. It made her feel almost maybe like she was at home. She could pretend. 

Two episodes later, she heard a raucous noise from the common room of the compound. It was voices, a lot of them very loudly.

If she listened hard enough she could hear a familiar woman’s voice. Hope began to thrum in her, she could feel her powers wake up slightly. But no, she didn’t let herself even entertain the thought that it was who she thought it was. She had to be hearing things. Then, loud footsteps sounded through the hallway. 

The familiar voice sounded again, “Wanda?”

Chapter Text

Now she thought she was really hearing things. That couldn’t be Natasha. Natasha was gone. She could feel her powers filling her body, but they still didn’t come out.

Suddenly, Natasha was standing right in front of her. With her hair in that braid dyed blonde at the end. With a tight black suit and batons on its back. 

“Natasha?” 

Before Wanda even knew it, Natasha had run towards her and pulled her into the tightest hug she had ever experienced. Tears spilled down her face. Wanda was completely in shock and figured that she had to be losing her mind. The red powers surged within her, but failed to come out still. Her irises glowed weakly red for half a second then went back to normal. 

“You’re here?”

Natasha pulled back and looked her in the eye, “Yes, моя сладость, I’m here.” 

“Oh my god,” Wanda said, bewildered, then pulled her back into a hug. They held on for a while, squeezing each other as tight as possible. 

A throat clearing was heard from behind them. She looked up and saw Clint, Steve, and Bucky in the doorway. They were all smiling widely, looking happier than they had been in weeks. 

“How? How did you?” Wanda stammered. Natasha cupped her cheek and wiped the tears off of her face. 

“I returned the stone. And she came back,” Steve said. 

Natasha turned around to face the doorway, but still held onto Wanda’s hand. “Well, goodnight boys. Thanks for bringing me back to life and all, but I’m exhausted and I want some time with my girlfriend,” she said, flashing them a smile. 

They each came up and hugged her and Wanda, then left. 

Natasha turned back to face Wanda. 

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” they said at the same time, then they both laughed then embraced again. 

They kissed then. It was soft and gentle. The kiss made it feel like no time had passed. Time was gone and they had always been together, there was no separation between them. 

“I’m so happy you’re here, Wanda. I’m so happy it worked,” Natasha muttered out, then broke into sobs. 

She pressed her face into Wanda’s shoulder and cried hard into the nape of her neck. Everything came pouring out of her. When she fell down the cliff, all she wanted was Wanda to be back, and here she was. Natasha felt so relieved and overjoyed. It was so intense. She felt like she was feeling every emotion at once times one hundred. All of it came rushing out of her as she clung onto Wanda. 

Wanda rubbed her back and soothed her with gentle, quiet words. 

“I–I really can’t believe you’re here. Natasha, I didn’t know what I was going to do without you,” Wanda muttered, accent thick. 

Natasha was at a loss for words. Emotion and exhaustion coursed through her. She cried for a while longer and Wanda continued to hug and soothe her. 

“Wanda, I couldn’t live knowing you weren’t here. I’m so glad you’re here. Being without you for those five years was awful. And…and we didn’t even know if anyone was coming back. I just knew I couldn’t live in a world without you or Yelena…” she trailed off, “I am so happy to see you.” Tiredness filled her body. She felt like she had been ran over by a truck and like she hadn’t slept in ten years. Her body was beat and tired, and her mind was too from all of the emotion and thoughts filling it. 

“When I came back and you were gone…I…I didn’t know…” she became quiet, and then, “I am so happy to see you too.” 

Natasha yawned. “Want to go to bed? I’m fucking beat. Who knew dying and coming back to life would be so tiring.”

“Yeah, it’s just I…” Wanda felt embarrassed now, of her behavior, of just sitting around all day. Then not even sleeping at night, just falling asleep then having nightmares and trying and failing to fall asleep again.  She knew that she wasn’t acting like normal, and she knew she should have tried to move on. But all of the weight of everything that had happened had crushed her and made it impossible for her to do anything and think about anything but how sad she was.

“You what?”

“I haven’t been sleeping well. Like lots of nightmares and…just not sleeping. I’m sorry if I’m a bad bedmate now.” The embarrassment flared. 

Natasha looked at her sympathetically. “You could never be a bad bedmate. Every single day I wished for you to be back in bed with me. I don’t care, I just want to share a bed with you again.” 

Wanda smiled. “Okay.” 

“Can I borrow some clothes?”

“Of course.” 

Wanda handed her a pair of pajama pants and an oversized shirt. Natasha made quick work of stripping and throwing the suit on the ground. Dirt matted her back and hair. It also looked like some bruising. Wanda cringed. 

“Nat? You don’t want to take a shower?”

Natasha looked right at her, speaking seriously she said, “I just want to sleep next to you, Wanda. I’m going to pass out; I'm so tired. And I want to feel you close to me. I can wash up in the morning.” 

Wanda nodded, “Okay.” Wanda slipped under the blanket on her bed and Natasha joined her. 

“Are these mine?” she asked, grabbing a blanket.

Wanda nodded, the embarrassment was there again, along with other swirling emotions. Why couldn’t she just be normal about everything that had happened? Then she figured what was normal in that situation? Well it probably wasn't how she was acting. 

 Natasha smiled at her, Wanda’s embarrassment mostly dissipated, then grabbed the two large blankets that were her own and threw them over her and Wanda. 

They both laid down and faced each other. Wanda could feel Natasha’s warm breath on her face and likewise. She reached up and pushed some of Natasha’s hair out of her face. Natasha rolled her eyes playfully. 

Natasha could tell something was wrong with her. The light was gone from her eyes. This wasn’t the Wanda that she remembered. She looked completely exhausted. Natasha was worried as hell, but she didn’t want to pry and cause her to close up. Wanda probably really felt awful, so she tried to tread carefully. 

“Why haven’t you slept?” Natasha whispered, looking right into Wanda’s green eyes. 

Wanda averted the eye contact. “I…I haven’t felt like myself since I came back.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.” She paused for several moments, trying to think how to explain this weird feeling of weight and pain and fuzziness. “You being here helps.”

Natasha smiled at her softly. Natasha didn’t know how Wanda felt, but it was obvious there was a struggle, and she had to help her, in whatever way she could. Maybe Wanda coming back from the dead without her wasn’t as simple and joyful as she thought it would be. But Natasha was determined to help her and support her. 

She would do anything for her.

For five years, she did everything she could to get her back, and now she was here. She was determined to keep her close and protect her no matter the cost no matter what it was. She couldn’t lose her again.

“Maybe it’s to be expected when coming back from the dead.”

They chuckled lightly, then Natasha spoke, “Come over here.” 

Wanda rolled into Natasha’s arms and pressed into her warm body. She deeply inhaled the scent of Natasha. A scent she missed more than she thought she could miss. 

“I love you, дорогая.”

“I love you too. I’m glad you're back,” Wanda said softly. 

“Me too. Try to get some sleep.”

Wanda pushed further into Natasha’s body and Na tasha wrapped her arms around her as tight as possible. 

Natasha woke up in the morning with Wanda still wrapped up in her arms. She smelled warm and like home. Natasha had missed her so much. 

Her hair was illuminated by the morning sun blaring through the window. It had illuminated the whole room as the curtains were wide open. But Natasha could only focus on how it made Wanda’s hair and skin look like it was glowing. 

She also noted the bags under her eyes and the slight frown she wore, even in sleep. Worry creeped in on Natasha.

Above anything else though, she was just grateful that Wanda was there, in her arms, and she wasn’t going anywhere. Those five years were way too long. Natasaha, for a second, imagined them with some life together in a house far away, like she did before everything had happened. Maybe it was possible. It felt so possible now, that she was here with her. 

Natasha kissed the crown of her head gently, where her red hair stood in small wisps, she stirred slightly. 

Wanda blinked a couple times and looked at Natasha with her wide eyes.

“Good Morning, моя сладость.”

“You’re still here.”

“Of course.”

“I thought I dreamed you.”

Natasha laughed and smiled at Wanda. “I’m really here, Wanda.” 

Wanda smiled back at her and kissed her, hard, almost like she was testing still if she was still there. Natasha didn’t mind. She pressed into it back, just as hard. Again, it was as if no time had passed. There was no sadness or struggle between them. The past five years were forgotten and they were just in love. 

Wanda gently pulled away. 

“What now? We’re back and everything’s all right?”

Natasha paused, unsure of what to say, Wanda seemed almost mad. “If that’s what you want then yes. I still love you so much. Nothing has changed for me Wanda–well, I missed you for five years, but I feel like absence only makes the heart grow fonder.” 

“Okay, that’s great. I love you too. I still want to be with you. It’s just an odd situation, I wanted to…make sure. ”

“Yeah. I mean. I feel…different. It was a long five years.”

“But you still want to be with me?”

“Of course. What’s up, Wanda you’re being weird.” Natasha gently pushed Wanda’s hair away from her face. She began to comb through it with her fingers, she missed how it felt in her hands.

Wanda sighed and rolled away to look at the ceiling. All of the uncomfortable emotions came back. Sadness, embarrassment, a hint of anger. 

“I just am weird now I guess.” She paused then snapped, “I wish you being here changed it back to normal, but I’m sorry it didn’t.” 

Natasha took a deep breath, trying to calm them both down. “You don’t need to be sorry. We will figure this out, together. I can help you, if that’s what would make you feel better, if not we can find another way.” 

Wanda rolled back around to look at her. She took a breath then, “Okay.” 

“For now. We can just stay here together.” Natasha wrapped her arms around Wanda once again and squeezed her. Wanda let out a small giggle and leaned into the touch. 

Natasha then resumed brushing her fingers through Wanda’s hair. “I missed this.”  She missed her hair. She missed the color of her eyes. She missed the creases in her lips. She missed the curve of her cheekbones. She missed Wanda. She missed all of it.

Wanda being back was everything she thought she needed and more. Everything she missed so deeply for so long was right there in front of her. 

Jumping off that cliff had been worth it. It was the right decision, and she would make it again, regardless of if she came back or not. She had to have Wanda here, alive. Her being here–alive–made herself feel more alive.

Wanda spoke with her accent thick, bringing Natasha out of her thoughts, “Slow mornings with me?”

Natasha paused, thinking about what to say then she voiced, “Your hair.” 

Wanda laughed, Natasha joined her. 

“It’s so beautiful. You’re so beautiful.” 

“You’re not so bad yourself.” 

They stayed like that for a while longer, as close to each other as they could be. Natasha continued to run her hands through Wanda’s hair. Wanda stayed pressed into her. Occasionally saying something, but nothing ever too serious. 

Also, Wanda was pleasantly surprised that she hadn’t had any nightmares. Anytime she slept since coming back, she had been plagued with awful nightmares, but Natasha’s close proximity had seemingly ended them for now.

Eventually Natasha said, “Ok I love this–the slow mornings and the hair–but I need to wash up so badly.”

“Okay,” Wanda replied warmly. 

“Care to join me?”

“Of course.” 

They both made their way off of the bed and into the bathroom. Wanda’s en suite was huge and also had a huge shower. Before everything, they frequented it together, rather than using Natasha’s which was for some reason smaller. Natasha always was “mad” at her for it, but she always loved to sneak into Wanda’s quarters and use it; Wanda loved it too. It was also a good excuse before they started really telling people they were together. 

Natasha had snuck into Wanda’s room the previous night while the boys watched a movie. It was loud enough and distracting enough that they could get away with whatever they wanted to do without anyone walking in or hearing. It was an uncommon night they could spend together completely uninterrupted and unworried they would be caught. 

It wasn’t that they couldn’t or didn’t want to share the relationship. They knew everyone would be okay with it. But it was still fresh. They didn’t know where it was heading–if anywhere. So they decided to keep it away from prying eyes. 

The night was slow and sensual, something they needed. 

Early the next morning, it was just as slow and sensual, and now it was time for them to actually get out of bed. 

“Wanda, come on. We need to get up. Steve is going to come barging in here any minute telling us we are going to be late for training at eight.” He was always on them about being on time to everything and especially training which made it exceptionally hard to be sneaky. 

Wanda rolled on top of her. Warm skin stuck to warm skin. Natasha was compelled to stay under Wanda’s weight and warmth. Wanda voiced, “But I want to stay in bed with youuuuuuu.”

“I do too, сладость.” Natasha gave her a look. “Maybe we can share a shower?”

Wanda perked up slightly. “Ugh, fine.” 

“That’s моя девочка. Come on.” 

Wanda laughed and they got out of bed. She walked over to Natasha and pecked her lips lightly. They then walked into Wanda’s en suite. Natasha turned the handle on the shower and the water sprung to life. Whenever they showered together, they kept the temperature as hot as they could physically stand. It felt like a luxury to them, most other times on missions and such they had to have cold showers in tiny shower stalls. 

They both began to undress then was quickly interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Shit.”

“I told you, маленькая ведьма. ” Natasha stuck out her tongue.

Wanda was more panicked about it, like she was every time they were caught in an almost or truly compromising position. “What are you going to say? He is probably looking for you too.”

“Um. I’m just…taking your shower this morning, it’s much nicer than mine.”

Wanda laughed at her. “You’re always so mad about that, but now it’s coming in clutch, huh?”

“Shut up.”

Wanda pulled her shirt back on. She opened the door to Steve, as suspected, who was looking at his watch. 

“Training is in ten, Wanda, you should be ready and in the commonspace with the rest of us.”

“Sorry, I just lost track of time.”

“Do you know where Nat is? She’s also not there. I checked her room and the gym already too.” Wanda was appalled by how on them he was. It was seriously hard to try to spend time with each other with Captain America breathing down their necks. 

Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind her. 

“Nat? What are you doing here?” 

“Good morning to you, too, Steve. I’m just taking Wanda’s shower this morning, it’s much nicer than mine.”

“Why would you shower before training?”
Natasha shrugged casually. “Needed to wake up more.” 

“Both of you better be down in the training room in,” he looked down at his watch, “seven minutes.”

“Yes, Steve.”

“Yeah.” 

Wanda then shut the door on him. They waited a few seconds then dissolved into giggles. 

“God, he’s so serious ‘seven minutes, ladies, or I’ll have to kill you’. He can never calm down,” Natasha said between giggles. 

“Oh my god, he’s insane.” 

They laughed for a couple more seconds then Natasha sobered up. 

“We probably need to get ready and get down there.”

“Do we?”

“Wanda.” 

Wanda huffed. “Like you wouldn’t rather take a shower with me.”

“I would rather, but we do have to go to training.”

“You’re almost as bad as him.”

Natasha put her hand on her heart. “No,” she said, astonished.

“Yes,” Wanda replied with a smirk. 

Needless to say, they liked to shower together. It was a simple act and something they could do to be together and help the other when one was down or injured. This time, Wanda figured, they were both down and injured. Maybe one more than the other. 

Natasha turned on the water and tested it with her hand. 

“Still like hot showers?”

“Yes, scalding.” 

“Perfect,” Natasha smiled.

As the shower warmed up they got undressed. Soon, they stepped into the shower. Natasha hissed under the water then wiggled to the other side to be out of the direct spray of the water. 

Wanda laughed and leaned in to kiss her gently. “Okay, let’s start with your hair.”

Carefully, she undid the messy, tangled braid that was still somewhat intact. Then, Wanda slowly shampooed her hair and then conditioned it. She left the conditioner in and washed Natasha’s body. The dirt fell away. There was no bruising. Her skin looked perfect almost. 

As she washed it, she left small gentle kisses on the skin. She swore Natasha was crying again, but she didn’t mention it. 

She then washed herself. Wanda couldn’t remember the last time she showered. It just felt like another impossible task. But Natasaha being there with her helped, she was more focused on her. It was nice to feel Natasha under her fingertips again, to know she was right there with her, to help her. 

Afterwards, they stepped out and wrapped themselves in the fuzzy white towels that were still neatly folded up on the shelves of Wanda’s bathroom from before.  

Natasha mentally added another question to her growing list: Had Wanda showered since she came back? But she waited until a better time. She hoped that they would have some long talk later and everything would make sense. She would be able to get a grasp of Wanda and what she was feeling. 

Natasha stole Wanda’s clothes again. Wanda offered to braid up her hair again and she consented. It was better than having wet hair stuck to her neck. Soon, her hair was neatly plaited into one tight french braid straight down her head. 

“Ready for breakfast?”

Wanda hesitated, then, “Fine. Let's go.” 

They left Wanda’s living quarters and went down the hallway into the main room. Bucky, Steve, Clint, and Maria Hill.

Seeing Clint was hard on Natasha. When she saw his face, everything flooded back. When she saw him the night previous, she thought it would kill her. It almost had. When their eyes met, she felt things she didn’t even know she could feel all at once. She tried hard to push it back in. Maria was a good distraction. 

Maria, along with many others, have been in and out of the compound every couple of days. 

Natasha voiced, “Maria?”

“I heard my favorite redhead was back.” 

“You heard right.”

Natasha stepped towards her and they embraced. Wanda felt a twinge of jealousy for some reason. 

She went over to the table and sat next to Steve. 

Natasha somewhat hoped that maybe somehow Maria had found Yelena or something. She knew that wasn’t why she was here, but that didn’t stop the thought from coming. 

They all said their good mornings to her. Steve added in, “Hey, it’s good to see you.” 

Wanda hated how he acted like he hadn’t seen her. She had been outside of her room…a few times in the past few weeks. She came out for lunch and dinner. 

“Good to see you, too,” she mumbled back. 

Steve looked around the table where various breakfast foods were out. Wanda noted that Steve looked ridiculously more upbeat than he had the day before. The Natasha effect. She wished she felt like that too. 

Breakfast in the compound was every man for themselves unless someone decided to actually make something, which was uncommon. “Um, I think Bucky ate the rest of the Cheerios, but there’s other cereal. Oh and fruit.” 

“Thanks,” she said, grabbing two mandarin oranges. She watched Natasha talk to the rest of the table as she peeled and tore the slices apart. She slowly made progress on eating the little oranges. Steve at some point set a glass of water in front of her, which she thanked him for. She tried to listen or understand all the people around her, but her brain felt all fuzzy and tired. 

She finished the oranges and threw away the peels, then resumed her spot next to Steve. Natasha looked away from Clint and smiled at her, she weakly smiled back. 

Chapter Text

They continued to chat for a while. Steve spoke directly to her on some occasion, she spoke back giving vague answers. 

Natasha stood up and walked over behind Wanda. She wrapped her arms around her from the back and put her head on her shoulder. 

Wanda gave a genuine smile and leaned back into Natasha’s body. “Hi, Natasha,” she said, her accent shining through her words.

“Hi.”

“What’s up,” Wanda said, looking half over at her. 

“Missed you,” she responded. 

“Wow, I do not miss this,” Steve said. 

Natasha gave Wanda a dramatic kiss on the cheek. Wanda felt a small blush creep up on her cheeks and she laughed lightly. 

Natasha frowned at Steve. “ I thought you liked us together.” 

“Not when you’re disgusting.” 

They all laughed then fell into easy conversation again, except Wanda. She thought Natasha being there would make it better. But her mind was still tired and she couldn’t keep up. She laughed and smiled at appropriate times, but that was about it. 

Natasha had to have taken note because she was communicating to her in her own way. Squeezing her arms around her tighter, kissing her cheek, playing with her hair. It felt nice. She relaxed into it. 

She didn’t really do this before—the physical attention in public. She must have missed her a lot. Well she had to have. Wanda just couldn’t quite wrap her head around it. She was gone for like two seconds for herself while she was gone for five years for Natasha.

These weeks without Natasha had been awful to Wanda. Those first few weeks when Natasha was without Wanda must have been hard on her. Wanda wondered if she acted the same way that she had been. Did she, like Wanda, not sleep? Did she, like Wanda, not shower? Did she, like Wanda, not eat?

Did Steve check up on her a lot? Did she feel like she didn’t know how to live? 

Eventually Maria spoke up louder, “Well, boys–and the girlfriends–this has been fun, but I have to report back to Nick.” 

“Aw, man.” 

“Okay.”

“Tell him to come by soon,” Natasha said, “Where is he now?” 

Steve quickly said, “Tell him Romanoff came back and immediately asked about him.” 

Natasha swatted Steve’s arm. 

“Busy in New York City. Everything’s busy now that everyone is back. And I will be sure to relay all of those messages.” 

They all laughed and said their goodbyes. 

Quietness overtook them. Soon, Steve and Bucky began to clean up breakfast. Natasha tried to help but they swatted her away. They also told her to go to the Medbay, just to get checked out quickly by the doctor, who was just visiting before she went back to her home hospital. No one really knew the consequences of dying and coming back like that. And they had forced everyone that got snapped to go too. 

Everyone knew about Natasha’s aversion to seeing doctors. So they gently pushed. She said she was fine. They told her to still go. She said no. Her anxiety didn’t show, it presented itself as just her pushing back and saying she was fine, but Wanda could tell it was there. 

After Wanda said she would go with her, Natasha agreed. She had a look of relief when Wanda said she would, like she had forgotten that she could be there. She probably had. 

But still, Wanda being there did not get rid of her anxiety. She insisted she could keep her own clothes on, but the doctor said no. It took Wanda a while to convince her to put on the gown. And she still trembled slightly and said to stop when the doctor touched her at all.

It got to a point where the doctor had to step away, and Wanda had to talk her down so she would stop refusing everything. Luckily, Natasha was able to pull herself together after that and the doctor quickly went through the rest of the checks she had to do.

Natasha was fine. There were no crazy negative effects of jumping off a cliff apparently. They both breathed a sight of relief–Natasha was more relieved that the exam was over than anything else. 

Then, Natasha got redressed and they went back into the common room.  

After a couple minutes of chatting, Clint’s phone started ringing; he pulled it out of his pocket and looked at it. “It’s Laura. I told her to call me in the morning. Nat, you want to talk to her right?”

Natasha nodded, quickly looked over at Wanda, and then gave a heavy, “Yeah,” and walked over to Clint who went to hold the phone up to his ear. They walked off into the adjoining room. 

Anger rose in Wanda, weirdly. 

Wanda slunk back and disappeared back into her room. Flopped down on her bed, she felt  like she was going to cry, but the tears never did come. She didn’t know how to feel, she was supposed to be happy now that Natasha was here, right? She didn’t feel that happy.  

There she laid for a while, staring at the ceiling. Natasha walked in, she sat straight up.

“Hello, моя ведьма.”

Wanda twinged slightly. “Hi.” 

Her lover walked further into the room, hesitated slightly, then began to speak, “So I was thinking, before we never moved our stuff into one of our rooms, we were always in one or the other. I was thinking I could move my stuff into yours? If that’s okay?” She looked down and fiddled with her fingers. 

Wanda smiled and nodded. Warmth grew in her chest, now she felt a little happier. This was her Natasha, bold and brave, but sometimes like a little nervous schoolgirl. Someone who cared about her and wanted to share a room with her. 

“Alright, okay. Let’s go then. I don’t have a lot to move but…” 

Wanda walked up to her and kissed her gently on the cheek. “Let’s go.” 

Natasha smiled dumbly and followed her out of the room. Her room was very close to her in the girl’s of the building along with other empty rooms. The opposite wing held all of the boys’ room.

Both Natasha and Wanda enjoyed having their own wing all to themselves. Although they wished for more women to befriend, they had total privacy unless Steve came knocking to bother them. 

They entered Natasha’s room, oddly, it was quite messy. 

This was because Wanda had dug through a lot of her stuff trying to find blankets and t-shirts that still smelled like Natasha. 

“Almost like a bomb went off in here.” 

“...Yeah,” Wanda said shyly. 

“You had to steal all of my stuff? You missed me that much just in those two weeks?” Natasha smirked.

Anger rose up again, she didn’t know why. It sucked. Being stuck between some weird anger and tired fuzziness. She couldn’t stop it from coming out now. 

“What did you fucking expect Natasha?” Wanda snapped. 

Natasha froze, she felt like she got slapped. 

Wanda looked down, the anger replaced with shame. “Sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”

Natasha took a couple of steps towards her. “It’s okay, Wanda. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t joke about this. I know it was hard.” 

Wanda met her eye and hummed in response. 

“Okay, let’s get started. Can you take the rest of all of my sheets and stuff back to your room? Maybe fold them up. Then I can take my clothes,” she paused, looking around, “I also have to clear out the bathroom and my nightstands and get all my pictures.” 

Natasha really didn’t have a lot in her room. It was mostly bedding and clothes, some memorabilia stuffed in nightstands and dresser drawers. Wanda had been the one to force her to put pictures up and put little tchotchkes on her nightstands. 

There was a little statue of a spider on the left nightstand that Wanda had found in a bookshop in New York City one day. Along with several Lego mini figures from the sets that Wanda and the other Avengers had built during downtimes. At one point Sam thought it was funny to buy a set of the Avengers Tower and they all helped put it together, then they had been building sets all together when they could. A small stone sat on the nightstand to the right of the bed that had Natasha’s name painted on it. There were also a couple of candles on the nightstands and her dresser. 

Several books were stacked next to the dresser. Many of them were classics that she had gotten for Wanda to read when she first came to America–something about a well rounded picture of what America was. 

Wanda took all of her blankets and sheets and, as instructed, folded them up and put them on the bottom shelf of one of her wardrobes. 

Natasha came in as she was folding and began to put her clothes in Wanda’s empty dresser. There were two dressers and two wardrobes in Wanda’s room. She found this quite odd because there was only one dresser in Natasha’s. She never ended up using the second of either thing but still kept them there. 

Now it was perfect because Natasha would have somewhere to put her things. 

They both went back into Natasha’s room. She started taking things out of her bathroom and moving them into Wanda’s and Wanda took all of her candles and set them on the dressers in her room. 

They worked in relative silence until Natasha’s room was empty, and Wanda’s room was busier.  

Once finished, Natasha flopped on the bed. “Mine now,” she smirked. 

Wanda rolled her eyes playfully and flopped down next to her. Natasha leaned in to kiss her. Wanda responded with passion, grabbed her neck to pull her in closer. Natasha deepened the kiss. Wanda let out a soft moan. Their lips moved against each other in perfect sync. Natasha smiled against Wanda's lips then gently pulled away. 

Silence fell over them for a couple moments; they just enjoyed the other’s breathing, both looking up at the ceiling. Then, “This feels like a big step–moving in–even if it is just moving rooms.”

“I guess it is,” Wanda said. She smiled. “I like it. I wanted to move in a long time ago but you insisted on keeping your room.” 

“Hey! I liked my privacy.”

“And now?” Wanda took her eyes off the ceiling and looked at Natasha.

“I’d rather be with you. I can’t not. I can't be apart from you for too long now or I’ll get scared.” 

She said it in a joking manner, but Wanda could tell she was serious. She couldn’t imagine what Natahsa went through, losing her for five years and having no idea where Wanda was. It must have been scary. That made her more sad. 

Wanda looked back up at the ceiling. “How bad was it? When everyone was gone?”

Natasha sighed. “Bad.” Natasha paused and stared at the ceiling. “I was really sad for a while. Like really sad. But I realized that we are the Avengers, you know? We have to help. So I threw myself into that, and it helped a little bit. But I was still sad a lot of the time. I missed you so much. I would have done anything to get you back…I guess I did a lot to get you back.”

“Yeah, you died.” 

“I couldn’t live in a world where you weren’t there. I had to bring you–all you guys–back, anything it took.”

“Yeah.”
Natasha huffed. “I don’t want to think about that anymore. You’re here now, that is all that matters. We are together again. Everyone is together again.”

Wanda didn’t feel like that. The fuzzy sadness didn’t go away now that they were together. She had still lost Natasha. She killed Vision then watched him get killed again. She lost five years of her life. So many things had happened and Natasha could just look past it now that they were together again, but Wanda couldn’t. She was haunted by it. 

Natasha spoke again, bringing her out of her thoughts, Wanda must have been silent for too long, “What are you thinking about?” 

Wanda continued to stare up at the ceiling. 

“Everything.” 

“It’s a lot.”

A heavy silence fell between them. 

Natasha turned toward Wanda. She said, “Wanda, if you want to talk, we can. We can talk about anything, okay? I’ll help you. I want to help you.”

“I know.”

“So?”

Wanda turned towards her, their eyes met. “I’m just not ready yet. I still don’t know what to feel, let alone articulate it.” 

“Can you show me?” 

“What?”

“Like you did with your powers before everything. You’d show me stuff, from Sokovia, when you didn’t want to talk about it. It was nice, it helped me understand and you didn’t have to fully articulate everything.”

“Natasha, I–”

“We can just try it.”

Wanda’s jaw tightened. Anger awoke in her. She didn’t want to think about this. Of course Natasha had to bring it up. She took in a breath, trying to not snap at Natasha again. 

Her body started slightly shaking. She tried to stop it, but it didn’t work. Natasha grabbed her hand and also tried to steady it. That also did not work. 

“My powers. They are gone.”

Wanda sat up and their eyes met. 

“I can’t use them. They won’t come out. I can feel them still…inside me. But they don’t do anything.” A tear fell down her cheek. She added, whispering, “I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, Wanda. It’s okay.”

Her whole body was in tremors now. “I know, but I–” then she broke into sobs. The anger had quickly turned into sadness. Natasha pulled her into her chest. This was the first time she really thought about her powers, about how they were gone and the implications of it. It felt horrible. She hoped so hard they would come back, but now, really thinking about it, she wasn’t sure they would. 

“It’s okay, Wanda.” 

“I think–I hope–they will come back, but I don’t know.” 

“They probably will come back, дорогая. If you can still feel them, they are probably there.” 

“I know I just–I want them to come back, like now, and they aren’t.” 

“I know, дорогая, I know.” 

She held her for a while longer. Eventually Clint came in and said that they had decided on ordering burgers for lunch and asked if they wanted anything. 

They made their way to the commonspace and told their orders. Most of the team was lounging on the couch. Clint, Sam, and Rhodey were trying to teach Bucky to play Hearts. The rest of the team sat around laughing. 

Seeing Clint again was almost too much for Natasha. Her breath hitched. Memories of Vormir popped into her head when she saw him. She tried so hard to push back them and just be normal around him, it was somewhat working. 

“Wanda, Romanoff, how kind of you to join us.” 

“Hi, Steve,” Natasha said with a smirk, sitting down on the couch near him. Wanda went to sit down next to her and Natasha grabbed her swiftly so she could sit on her lap. 

Wanda noted the touchiness and she loved it. She loved feeling Natasha close to her, after not having that feeling for so long. Because of the excessive touchiness she figured that Natasha felt the same. 

They watched and laughed along as Bucky tried and failed to play the card game. 

Natasha whispered in Wanda’s ear, “I could sweep all of them.”

“I'm sure you could.” 

Natasha began to run her fingers through Wanda’s hair, Wanda leaned back and pressed herself further into Natasha’s body. Natasha noticed more easily now the darkness under Wanda’s eyes and the paleness of her skin. Natasha gently touched the skin under her eyes, Wanda almost imperceptibly flinched away, so she retreated her fingers. 

Wanda thought it was so strange that Natasha was touching her this much and this closely. 

Bruce, who had been in the lab for the morning, joined in the card game and also failed to properly explain how it worked to Bucky. 

Soon, their burgers were delivered and they all settled around the formal dining table. They sat next to each other and Natasha kept her hand on Wanda’s leg for almost the entire meal. It made her feel a little better that Natasha was there, but she still felt exhausted and a little fuzzy. 

“So my flight home is pushed back a few days so I can have more time with Nat.”

“Do you actually want that?” Steve said with a grin. 

Clint laughed. “Probably not.” 

“Hey! I’m nice to be around.”

“Yeah,” Clint said, “after Wanda softened you up.”

Wanda blushed slightly. 

“She did not,” Natasha exclaimed. 

“I beg to differ,” Sam said. 

Bucky added, “You were horrifying once, and now…not so much.” 

She looked around the table and then looked straight at Wanda. “Can someone take my side for once?”

Wanda looked back at her and replied, “No, sorry.” 

Natasha huffed and sank into her seat. “I hate you all.” 

“No, you love me,” Wanda whispered, turning to her and meeting her eye. 

Natasha’s lips curled up into a small smile. “I guess I do.” 

“Awwww,” Clint said.

“Adorable.” 

Natasha sat straight up again and threw a fry at him. And then another. 

Steve looked at Natasha. “No food fights,” he stated. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Ok, dad.” 

“Natasha.” 

“What?” she responded, giving a small shrug. 

Steve looked away from Natasha pointedly and turned towards Clint, “How’s Laura?” Natasha rolled her eyes again playfully and Wanda suppressed a laugh.

“She’s good. She’s dying to come visit now, but I told her that we could wait a few weeks and bring everyone up for Thanksgiving.”

“Gosh, it’s so soon.” 

“Hey–wait–isn’t it Halloween?” Bucky spoke. 

“It is,” Steve said quietly. 

“Well, Happy Halloween everyone,” Rhodey said. 

A chorus of ‘Happy Halloween’s went around the table. 

“I think we should celebrate,” Sam exclaimed. 

“We should.” 

“How?” Natasha questioned.

“Scary movies.” 

“No.” 

“Hey, no, don’t hate on scary movies. They are classics.” 

“They are boring,” Natasha said. 

Bruce spoke, “I want to watch some.” 

“I do too,” Steve added. 

“Only because you’ve never seen them. They aren’t good at all. You have awful taste if you think that slasher crap even counts as a movie” 

“She’s such a downer.” 

“I’m not–just telling the truth.” 

“Nevermind, Wanda didn’t make you soft, you’re still mean.” 

They all chuckled. They continued to chat lightly while they ate. Natasha’s hand held steady on Wanda’s leg. 

Bucky was the first to get up, he and Steve began to clear the table off, and the rest of them made their way back into the living room. 

Wanda wasn’t sure how to act. Well, she hadn’t been sure this whole time but now she really wasn’t. She felt fuzzy and weird still and now anxious over hanging out with the rest of the group. Since coming back, she hadn’t really hung out with them. She understood and was okay with the fact that Natasha wanted to hang around with everyone, but it didn’t make her feel any more comfortable with it. 

They both went to sit down on the couch again. Wanda resumed her place on Natasha’s lap. Sam swiftly grabbed the remote. 

“ Scream marathon is starting now.”

“No it’s not.”

“Come on, at least put on like Halloween . It’s in the name,” Rhodey said. 

“Too bad, so sad. We are watching Scream .” 

Sam started the movie up and they all laid back on the couch. Light chatter filled the air and the movie turned into background noise as they mused about other things. 

Wanda’s uncomfortableness still didn’t go away. She was around them at meals, a little extra time couldn’t hurt. But everyone talking felt too loud. And there was too much pressure on her to talk at one point or another. She felt like everyone was watching her, judging her. And Natasha definitely was, she could tell by the way she periodically squeezed her thigh. Along with that, the exhaustion she had carried around the past few weeks still wasn’t gone. 

Her body felt like a live wire, the exhaustion and the anxiety combining into a unique weird feeling. 

About half the movie had passed when Natasha whispered in her ear, “You alright?” 

Wanda knew she couldn’t lie. But what could she tell her? That she still felt sad, weird, and exhausted even though she was surrounded by her own friends? That the friends were actually making her feel a little worse? Natasha didn’t want to hear that. She was probably already sick of Wanda’s behavior. 

“Just tired.” 

“Do you want to go take a nap?”

No, she wanted to prove that everyone was okay, that she was okay. She could be okay; she could act normal. The bare functioning young girl that Steve and Clint had to take care of the past few weeks was gone, and she was okay. But she wasn’t. 

The exhaustion and the anxiety was weighing down on her. Along with other feelings she couldn't quite identify. 

Natasha whispered to her again, “It’s all right. We can go take a nap. I’m pretty tired myself.” 

Wanda gave a slight nod and then extracted herself from Natasha’s lap and got off the couch, then began to make her way to their room. Natasha followed suit. 

“Hey, where are you guys going?”

“To nap. It’s tiring being around all this testosterone,” Natasha responded. 

That earned a couple of chuckles. 

Once in Wanda’s room, Natasha took off her, well Wanda’s hoodie and crawled under the blankets. Wanda sat down on the bed next to her. 

Their eyes met. “Anything wrong or just tired?” 

Wanda furrowed her brow. “Nothing’s wrong,” she said defensively. But things were still wrong, her body was still a live wire, the distress hadn’t left. Would it ever go away? Would she ever feel alright again? The feelings now had no explanation, she was somewhere safe and quiet. There was no reason for her to panic. 

She looked down. Her hands began to shake, maybe they were shaking this whole time, and she didn’t notice. 

“Alright, okay.” 

It was too much. She could feel red wisps swirling in her hands too or maybe she was just inventing that. Why couldn’t she just calm down? She felt like she was spinning out now, trying to stop the feelings had only made it worse.

“Wanda?” 

She stayed quiet, if she spoke she would probably start crying or yelling. She didn’t want to do either of those. 

Suddenly, Natasha was sitting up and grabbing Wanda’s hands. 

“Wanda?” 

She spoke softly and quietly, trying to keep the panic contained, “Just–I just need–I can’t–” But the words broke, and she could barely speak. “Natasha, I can’t…I just–” She tried to take a deep breath, but it wouldn’t go in right. 

Natasha embraced her and squeezed her close into her body. Wanda began to sob and shake in earnest. The sobs wracked through her body and shook Natasha too. 

She muffled the cries and the yells that wanted to erupt from her throat in Natasha’s shirt. 

“Wanda, it’s okay.” She shushed her gently. “It’s okay. You’re okay. There’s nothing wrong.” 

“I can’t breathe I–” 

Natasha squeezed her harder and intentionally, slowly rocked her back and forth. She took in deep slow breaths and told Wanda to do the same. 

After a while of rocking her and breathing, Wanda could breathe normally again and the panic had subsided. Once Natasha noticed she was calmer, she laid down and Wanda adjusted to lay next to her. 

“I’m sorry, I just–I was overwhelmed and anxious, I guess, and I tried to ignore it.” 

“Don’t do that, it makes it worse.”

Wanda laughed dryly. “Yeah, I figured that out.” 

Natasha smiled and pressed a kiss to Wanda’s forehead. She spoke softly, “Do you want to talk about it? Or just nap?”

“I want to nap.” 

Natasha curled up into Wanda and put her head beneath her chin, smashing her face into her chest. “Okay then, let’s sleep,” she mumbled into her soft shirt.

Wanda wrapped her arms around her and fastly drifted off into sleep. 

Natasha’s body was still flush with Wanda’s when Wanda woke up a couple of hours later. She was surprised to be the first one out of the two to wake up.

Natasha’s red and blonde hair was displayed beautifully across the pillow. Her perfect pale face was still mostly smothered against Wanda’s neck and chest. The moment felt so soft and peaceful. She felt really safe for once in a long, long time. 

She wrapped her arms tighter around Natasha and fell back asleep. 

Chapter Text

Wanda awoke about an hour later, to Natasha sneezing. 

“Sorry,” Natasha said, then pressed a kiss to Wanda’s forehead. 

Natasha was sitting up against the bedframe with a book in her lap. It was the book Wanda had been trying and failing to read over the past few weeks. She was only about forty pages in. 

It looked like Natasha was a bit over a hundred pages in. 

Wanda sat up against the bedframe and leaned her head on her shoulder. “How’s the book?”

“Good. Have you finished it? It was sitting on your nightstand.” 

“Not even close.” 

Natasha laughed. “It’s pretty good, maybe you should finish it.” 

“Maybe I should.” 

Natasha resumed reading and Wanda read half heartedly over her shoulder. Noting this, Natasha said, “You’re going to spoil it for yourself.” 

Wanda laughed lightly, “It’s okay. I don’t mind.” 

They spent the rest of their afternoon in Wanda’s room. She hated seeing Wanda scared, it scared her. So Natasha talked to her a little bit about the panic attack, but Wanda wasn’t really up for it, so she only did briefly. They stayed in bed, and Natasha picked out a book for them to read. 

They both enjoyed it. It felt normal for once. Maybe things could be normal again. 

Steve called them for dinner and they went out to eat the chili that Clint had made. The group had only eaten it because Clint had told them that it was Laura’s recipe. 

Afterwards, Steve had to check in with Fury and something about missions. Natasha dumbly hoped that it was something about Yelena. When she wasn’t worried about Wanda, she was worried about Yelena. 

Much to Natasha’s chagrin, they watched Halloween. Wanda tried to get back into that feeling of normalness while watching the movie like she had with Natasha that afternoon, but it didn’t come to her like it did before.

There were people talking to each other or to her. It felt like many people to try to please all at once. She felt slightly anxious and still like everyone was watching and judging her every move. It was tiring to be around them. 

Sitting with her legs across Natasha’s lap. But it still didn’t stop all the negative feelings.  She felt everyone’s eyes watching her. Especially because Natasha had been so touchy since she got back. She never was like this, she never let Wanda sit like this basically on top of her before everything had happened. And she knew the others were wondering about it. 

Her heart must have been moving too fast, or her hands were shaking too much because Natasha gently, discreetly pressed a kiss into her palm and then rubbed her leg up and down lightly. Then she whispered, “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
“I know.” 

“You’re okay.” 

Wanda nodded and snuggled in further into the couch. 

Once the movie finished, they all retired to their rooms. Wanda and Natasha slept peacefully once again in each other's arms. 

Wanda was still pleasantly surprised that she had no nightmares when she woke. She was nervous for them to come back now, like they could appear at any moment. 

Although she still felt the strong urge to stay in bed, like she had been since coming back. Only Steve, Clint, and well now, Natasha asking her to get breakfast with them could get her out of bed. She felt like she couldn’t do it by herself. She was too tired and did not want to face the world. Her body just wanted to stay in the bed. 

As soon as Natasha woke up, they went out to eat breakfast with the team and Wanda was able to slightly enjoy it. Maybe it was just Natasha’s mere presence calming her and her hand on her leg or maybe the two nights of proper sleep and actually eating full meals. 

Steve and Clint were happy as long as she was eating something even if it was small. But she knew Natasha would take note if she wasn’t eating a lot. 

Upon walking about to the kitchen, they saw that Sam had made pancakes. He had made chocolate chip, blueberry, and plain. And he was still making more. 

“You’ve got quite the assortment there,” Clint commented from the dining room table. 

The coffee pot was still mostly full; Natasha went to pour herself a cup and then also poured on for Wanda. Wanda cradled the cup in her hands and took small sips of it, after sitting down at the table. 

“I only made so many because you guys are picky as hell.” 

“Pancakes are only good when plain,” Wanda said.

Natasha, looking at her coffee cup, looked up, and frowned then said, “No, blueberries are the only way to make them good.” 

“Tart is good? Tart is disgusting,” Bruce said. 

“No, it’s not. It makes it actually taste like something,” Natasha countered. 

“You are all proving my point right now,” Sam said from the stove. He flipped another one and then added another one to the stack on the plate next to him. Warm steam radiated off of it.

“Sweet is the only way to go,” Steve said, walking out of his room. 

“Well well well, Sleeping Beauty finally decided to join us,” Natasha said. Wanda giggled softly. Natasha shot her a private smile. She was so grateful to have her there and her little giggle. Having Wanda back was the best thing in the world. 

“Are you feeling okay? You know it’s eight right?” Sam said, looking at the clock. 

“Do we need to call the hospital?” Natasha asked with faux worry painted across her face. 

“You’re usually up at five making fun of us for sleeping like a normal person. What changed Steve?” 

“He’s a new man,” Natasha said. 

“Wow, sorry that my three extra hours of sleep was too much for you guys.” 

“We were just worried, Mr. Five A.M.” 

“Yeah, do you need me to check your temperature?” Natasha said, walking over to him. 

“Ha ha.” 

Then, Bucky walked out of the hallway. “‘Morning guys,” he said, then sat at the dining table. 

“Aha, maybe he wasn’t sleeping,” Natasha said with a wink.

“Oh shut up,” Steve said. 

They all settled at the table and waited for Sam to finish up with the food. Natasha grabbed onto Wanda’s hand under the table and held onto her pinky. 

Wanda stayed quiet and tried to feel sort of normal. It was just a normal morning with all of them. This was her life now, living with them and Natasha in the compound. 

Even if this wasn’t going to be the rest of her life. She knew that it wasn’t. The compound wasn’t fully functional. And she really didn’t want to stay here for the rest of her life. She knew Natasha didn’t want to either. But thinking that far ahead felt overwhelming. 

But for now, this was the new normal. She had to try to get used to it. 

She told herself this over and over until it hurt her mind to try to repeat it again. 

Sam sat down with all the food. Natasha let go of Wanda’s pinky. Wanda slightly frowned, but then Natasha settled her hand on Wanda’s thigh. They ate mostly quietly as they were all hungry. After eating, they all helped clean up.

Clint suggested more card games and everyone agreed.

No matter how much she told herself this was the new normal and she had to get used to it, she obviously couldn’t because even this was too much. People talking so much, people expecting her to talk. She was already tired and anxious thinking about it. 

And she had gotten through breakfast a-okay. She felt mostly normal throughout it. She best not push herself now. So Wanda politely disagreed to cards and said she was going back to her room. Natasha looked at her with a frown, but didn’t say anything. 

Wanda retired to her room. She threw a season of Bewitched into her small TV and laid down on her bed. 

The window behind her bed casted a slight glare on the TV. It was nice outside today. She could see the breeze moving the trees and the sun reflecting off of things outside. Maybe she should try to go outside. A little sun had never hurt anyone. But the inside of her room was nice and comfortable, something she had gotten used to. It was a haven now. 

Maybe that wasn’t a good thing. She thought to herself: it probably wasn’t. 

She tried to watch the TV, but not really. The volume was down low, making it more like background noise to all her thoughts. Her mind was too full of thoughts of Natasha and the rest of the team. 

“Hey, моя сладость. How’s it going?”

Wanda smiled at her. “It’s good.”

“Good.”

“Came to check on me?” Wanda smirked at her. 

Natasha hesitated. “No, I got cold. I’m grabbing a hoodie.”

“Sure.” 

Natasha grabbed one of Wanda’s black hoodies from her wardrobe then looked back at her. “But if I were here to check on you…”

“I am fine.”

“Are you sure?”  

Her jaw tightened. She was already sick of the check ups. And now this? What was Natasha trying to imply? That she didn’t know what she felt? Or that she was lying to her? Any way, she didn’t like it. Yes, she aware she was now quick to anger. But it didn’t stop it. 

Her voice was suddenly laced with irritation. “Yes, I’m sure Natasha,” she snapped. 

Natasha looked like someone had hit her. “Okay, then.” 

Wanda raised her eyebrows slightly and then looked Nastasha in the eye. “What?”

She shrugged back, then said, “Nothing.” 

A heavy pause formed between them. Eventually Natasha cleared her throat then mumbled something about going back into the living room with Clint. 

She wasn’t sure if Wanda was actually mad at her or just mad at the world. It seemed like she was mad at her, but at the same time, she was the only person Wanda was really talking to. Maybe if she was talking to the others, she would also be mad at them. It wasn’t the best thing to hope for. But she really didn’t know why Wanda was mad. 

She flopped down on the floor next to the coffee table. Clint sat opposite her. 

“What? You look upset.”

“It’s just…” She stared down at her gray socks. 

“Wanda?”

She looked up at him. “Something like that,” she mumbled. 

“Nat, she’s just–” 

“I–” she began. There was a pause then she snapped, “I really don’t want you to talk about her.” She paused and looked around. Suddenly, she was slightly embarrassed of her anger, but she kept going. “Any of you. I can see how she’s acting. I can see she’s not really talking to you guys. I can see it’s weird. She’s just trying to deal with things. Don’t talk about her like she’s something we have to fix and don’t talk to her like that either. Got it?” 

She had quickly surmised upon coming back that other than Steve and Clint, the group was a little scared of Wanda. Sam made a quip about her exploding the compound when he thought Natasha wasn’t listening. 

With the way they all avoided her and talking about her, she figured they were scared of her powers. Which made her angry, but she on some level understood. An unstable emotional girl with massive power that could jump out at any point. It was a little scary. 

“Yep.”

“Yeah.” 

She sighed. “She’ll come back around.” 

Most of them nodded and the topic of conversation was shifted. They began to try again to teach Bucky more card games. He was finally starting to understand speed when Steve began to complain loudly about how he wanted lunch. 

They decided to go simple and make sandwiches. 

After returning a phone call from someone, Steve got all the ingredients out from the fridge and set them on the counter. Natasha went to retrieve Wanda. 

“Hey, it’s time for sandwiches.” 

Wanda was still sitting in the same spot, staring out the window. “Alright,” she said, getting up. Natasha grabbed her hand, and they walked out to the dining room. 

Eating lunch was a fairly fast affair. Natasha and Wanda took up cleaning up after everyone. They put all the food back and placed the dishes in the giant dishwasher. Afterwards, Natasha made two cups of tea and they sat down at the dining room table. The rest of the Avengers had dispersed to do their own things. Bruce had gone into the lab, Rhodey said something about calling family, Clint and Sam still wanted to watch Halloween-esque movies.

Bucky and Steve had gone into Steve’s office to check in with Fury about a couple things. 

With the way Steve had smiled at Bucky, Natasha suspected something was happening between them, but everything felt fragile now so she waited to seriously ask. 

They sipped the tea slowly and sat in mostly silence. It was nice, peaceful. Once they were done, Natsha took the cups to the sink and then rejoined Wanda at the table. 

Natasha had reached out to hold Wanda’s hand on the table. They chatted casually and softly. Then, Wanda said, “I think I’m going to go nap? Want to join?” 

She prayed that Natasha would follow her, with Natasha next to her, she didn’t have nightmares, it was so nice. She could actually sleep.

Wanda’s statement sparked worry in Natasha. She had never really napped before everything, especially not two days in a row. But Natasha knew better than to ask if she was okay. 

“No, I think I’m going to hang out with the boys this afternoon. Clint is going home soon, I know he’ll be back but…”
Wanda looked upset, but nonetheless she said, “It’s okay I get it.” She tried to at least. She tried to get all of it–how Natasha was easily jumping back into everything. 

“Okay. Thank you.” 

Wanda got up, kissed Natasha’s forehead then walked back to the room. 

The rest of the afternoon went by. She missed Wanda. She joined Clint and Sam to watch movies. But she wanted Wanda next to her. She wanted her to be normal again and hang out with the rest of them. Later they all ate dinner, and Wanda was next to her, she was more than grateful. She subtly grabbed her hand under the table. That night, she fell asleep next to Wanda again and hoped that soon she would be back with the rest of them. 

In the morning, they showered together and made their way out to the kitchen for breakfast. 

Sam had some food delivered the previous night so there was a large array of new cereals placed out on the kitchen counter. Natasha grabbed a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios for both of them, and they sat down at the table with everyone else. Natasha, of course, placed her hand on Wanda’s thigh. 

As usual, they all participated in light topics of conversation except for Wanda. It was too much, people looking at her, trying to even come up with something to say. She just felt so tired, like she usually has been. 

She stayed at the table with Natasha until everyone had left to go do their own thing. They chatted quietly for a bit then Wanda said she wanted to go back to the solace of her room. Natasha didn’t object, but she didn’t join her.

She wanted to hang out with everyone else, not stay cooped up in Wanda’s room. But she did want to hang out with Wanda. So bad. 

A rush of anger went through Wanda as she left Natasha at the table. Why didn’t she want to spend time with her? She just wanted Natasha to stay with her. She knew that Natasha wanted to hang out with Clint until he left, but she could spare a few minutes. 

Natasha stayed sitting at the table, too many things on her mind. 

She didn’t know if she should try to intervene with Wanda or just leave her to figure it out. Natasha knew she could and she knew she was trying, but she didn’t know if she needed a push, so to say. 

It wasn’t just Wanda either, Bucky also acted much more down than he was before, and Maria had looked exhausted when she visited them. Everyone was a bit down. Maybe the whole jumping off a cliff thing affected people more than she thought. And Tony. Oh Tony. How she missed him too. And how they all probably did. The loss she felt for him they probably all felt for her. There was so much pain. But for some reason, it didn’t seem to hit her as much as it did for the rest of them. 

Natasha wished she knew that coming back from the dead would be so complicated. She was just so happy to be back. There was no other feeling but joy. She thought everyone else would feel the same, but no.

Seeing Wanda like this, quiet and tired, was affecting her more than she wanted it to. They were so tied together. The connection they had was deep. Wanda’s sadness brought her down more than anything else. She was at first angry that Wanda was all out of sorts, but now she was also very sad that Wanda felt that way. Natasha overall felt helpless and didn’t know what to do. 

When they came back from Ultron and everything, Natasha pushed her. Wanda was also mad at her when she did. But she came out the other end completely fine. Wanda later told her that she was mad that she had pushed her in the moment, but when she was out of the depression she understood. 

Natasha didn’t want to push Wanda like that again, and she didn't know if she was the right person to do it. 

Nothing was as simple as she thought it was, no matter how much she thought or wanted it to be. She just wanted Wanda next to her and normal again. She wanted to come back after those five years and everything be the same. But obviously it wasn’t. She hadn’t thought about how others would change and feel about it. She felt different, but she was good at sorting out her emotions–and hiding them if need be–so she had already sorted her feelings out about this. 

Steve was suddenly behind her. “Hey.” 

Natasha flinched slightly. “Jesus Christ, Steve.” 

A grin grew on his face, seeing that he had sort of scared her. He sat down across from her. “Aren’t you supposed to be a spy?”

“Doesn't mean you should go around scaring the crap out of people.” 

“Whatever,” he said, with a grin. 

“What do you want, Rogers?” 

“Do you want to go for a walk with me?”

Natasha paused then, “What?”

“It has helped me. When I’m not feeling the best.” 

“Wh–” 

He stopped her, holding his hand up. “Come on, Nat, you’re upset. It’s written all over your face and the way you’ve been sitting here for ten minutes all alone looking into the great beyond and how you were upset yesterday with Clint.”  

Natasha suddenly understood why Wanda was mad at her when she tried to ask her how she was feeling or asking her what was wrong. This was annoying. She didn’t need anyone checking up on her. 

“Fine.” 

They both got up and Natasha followed Steve outside. In silence, they made their way mostly away from the compound. It was a bright day outside. There were almost no clouds in the sky. Eventually, they found themselves along the water. The rushing water filled in the silence. Natasha relaxed, it felt nice to be outside, in nature. She should really be outside more often. 

They continued to make their way along the dirt pathway that was beaten around the water. 

At some point, Steve began to speak, “I know you don’t want anyone to talk about her…” He looked over at her and paused and waited for her to say something. 

“But?”

“But I think you need someone to talk to regarding her…the whole situation.” 

“And what is that situation?” 

He stopped walking and faced her. “She’s depressed and none of us know how to fix it. Yeah, I know, it’ll go away in time, she will figure it out.” Steve sighed. 

Natasha blinked. It was like he read her mind. She wondered if everything was that obvious or if he just knew the both of them too well. 

“But?” Natasha said, knowing there was more to come. Steve had ended the sentence like it wasn’t really the end. 

She knew he was going to try to impart some wisdom on her now, whether she liked it or not. Albeit she enjoyed it afterwards–having something to think about–it got quite annoying in the moment. 

“I know you want to help her.” 

“I do.”

“So let’s talk about it.” 

Natasha sighed and nodded. They found a small cluster of trees to stop at. Natasha sat on the dirt against a tree and Steve did likewise next to her. 

“Who should start?” Natasha asked. 

“I can.”

“Go ahead.” 

He looked at her. “Nat, after everyone came back she was…different. She was crushed. I thought she would… Well, the point is, she wasn’t okay when she got back, no one was, but especially her.” 

It was now the third day. Wanda still hadn’t slept. Everyone else, with some more professional help, had been rebuilding the compound. But Wanda stayed in her room and stared out the window. 

Steve went in to give her food, to try to get her to sleep, but nothing had worked for him. But now he was worried. She hadn’t even moved. He wasn’t sure she was even breathing at this point. 

So that evening, he carefully knocked on her door and let himself in, per usual. This time was different, though. In his hand, he had some sleeping pills.

She had to rest. This looked like the easiest option. 

“Wanda?”

No response. She continued to stare off. 

“I have something for you.”

“Not hungry,” she mumbled. 

“Something else.”

She turned around to him and stared. Her face was completely pale. Her eyes were red and puffy like she had been crying. Tiredness was shown through her face and her entire body. 

“What is it?”

“Something to help you sleep.”

She turned back around. “I don’t want it. I’m fine.”

He steeled himself and got ready to be firm. He leaned up against her dresser and kept his gaze on her. “You need to sleep. You haven’t been. It doesn’t look like you are going to. These are going to help.”

“No.”

“Wanda, please you–”

“I said no.” 

“You are exhausted.”

“No.”

And it went on like that for what felt like forever. Then he brought up Natasha. He said she would want her to get some rest. 

She screamed at him. 

He didn’t leave. He tried more and more to convince her, but nothing seemed to work. He said he would stay until she took them or went to sleep on her own terms. 

They sat in total silence for ten minutes. 

Then,“Give me the damn pills.”

She took them dry and laid down on the bed. Steve went over and threw the blankets over her. She looked up at him with wide, tired eyes. 

“Are you going to leave now?”

“I was going to since you took them.”

“Stay here please.”

He did. 

“It’s a miracle you came back and everyone should be happy, but you have to give her time and support because she still might be feeling that way.” He paused to take a breath. “And it’s not you. It is all of it. She’s not upset at you. She’s overjoyed you came back, scared of what would happen if you didn’t, sad she lost five years of her life, frustrated she has no powers, and many other feelings. Just give her time and help her through it,” Steve finished. 

“It was bad, wasn’t it?” Natasha spoke. 

Steve looked away from her. “Yeah. It was bad. She was really really…not good.” 

Natasha continued, “And I know, everything is a lot right now. It’s not just one thing. I know it’s not just me.” 

“Good.” 

“I wish I could help though, but I feel like I can’t. I just want to push her–hard–but I don’t think that’s what she needs.” Natasha ran her hands through her hair. 

Chapter Text

Steve met her eye. “Nat. I really just think she needs time to adjust.” 

But that’s not what she wanted to hear. She wanted Steve to tell her that she would walk back into the compound and the past five years didn’t happen. “I just want her to come back, Steve.”

“I know. I know how much you just want to put a band-aid on it.” He shifted closer to her. “You think if you give her a huge push, she’ll randomly come back, but it’s not going to work like that. Just give her time and support her as much as you can, in any way you can.” 

Natasha sighed and twiddled with a blade of grass. 

“You know she’s strong. She will come back.” 

“You think time will really help?”

The breeze passed through them loudly. “She just needs to get used to everything now. It’s a whole new life for her–for all of us–the entire world.” 

“I guess it is.”

“Isn’t it hard for you?” Steve cocked an eyebrow. 

She looked down, now feeling guilty for the happiness she held. Steve’s words had affected her. She felt bad now about it, like it was bad on her that she was happy. “No, I’m just happy I’m back.”

He shrugged. “It’s hard for me and I didn’t even disappear. I feel like I have a whole new life.” 

“I guess I just really want everyone to feel like I do.” She ripped the blade of grass from the dirt. 

Steve sighed loudly. “We don’t.” 

Natasha laughed. “I get it.”

Steve laughed in return.

“It’s all such a mess again, just like it was after everyone disappeared. The two weeks you weren’t here the Avengers were doing damage control wherever we could. It was fire after fire after fire to put out. Everything was chaos. Families finally back together, buildings now full of people, half of the population coming back to earth.” 

“I guess I just wanted everything to be normal again.”

“I think everyone does. But it's going to take time, especially for Wanda.” 

She met his eye. “Time?” 

He sobered and sat straight up. A seriousness came across his face, like he was going to say something deeply meaningful. He spoke, “It heals all wounds, Romanoff.”

She rolled her eyes playfully and ripped another blade of grass out of the dirt. “That’s made up.” 

“Isn’t everything?” he said, looking around. 

She shook her head. “So philosophical today.” 

“It’s a philosophical time.” 

She smiled, he was a bit ridiculous sometimes. “What does that even mean?” 

“I don’t know,” he said with a laugh. 

“Want to head back?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

They both got up off the dirt and began their walk back to the compound. They didn’t talk about Wanda on the way back, but instead about other things, about what life would be like now, about if they were staying in the compound for the rest of their lives. Natasha lightly brought up the imaginary house that she wanted her and Wanda to get. 

After the walk with Steve, Natasha spent the rest of the morning with Clint. They rediscovered a rec room on the lower floors of the compound and played darts.

When Natasha was brought back, they had a long talk about everything. After that, they felt better and could fall back into things. It felt weird and Natasha was reminded of that day on Vormir every time she saw Clint, but she tried as hard as she could to fall back into their normal friendship. 

He had seen her at her best and at her worst. They had been through so much. What was one more trial? What was one more hardship? She knew that they would come back again, friendship stronger, knowing more about the other than maybe their partners even knew. 

Natasha quickly realized that she would lose at darts, so she suggested they should play pool. 

Once set up, the game moved by quickly. 

Natasha ended up winning.

“You totally cheated.”

Natasha acted offended, placing a hand on her chest. “I totally did not. You’re just being a sore loser.” 

“Another round?”

“Get ready to lose again.” 

They did play another round. And Natasha won again. 

As Clint was ready to recommend they play darts again, Steve called them up for lunch. 

Natasha didn’t know why they all insisted on eating meals at the same time all together, but she did enjoy it–the company and togetherness. She cherished it. They didn't do that before. 

When she got up to the dining room, Wanda was already there, talking to Sam. Natasha smiled widely at the sight and went to sit next to them.

She grabbed Wanda’s hand under the table and Wanda squeezed it gently. She squeezed back. 

“...And Banner is making me a new updated version of Redwing. I don’t know when I’ll need to use it–hopefully never–but it’s gonna be super cool.”

Natasha laughed then spoke, “You never stop talking about that thing.” 

“You’re just jealous.”

“That’s not the first word that comes to mind,” Wanda said, her accent heavy. 

Natasha smiled and added, “Maybe like the last?” 

“Sure, sure. You know you want it.” 

Bucky called from the kitchen, “Food is out! Eat up!”

They all walked into the kitchen to see a mini taco bar that Bucky and Steve had created. Once they all sat down, everyone began complimenting and thanking Steve and Bucky for lunch. 

“It’s really nothing, I’m just happy we can all share meals together,” Steve said. 

“Such a modest boy,” Natasha joked.

Wanda nodded and added, “Very humble.” 

“The most.” 

They ate for a while then, Rhodey spoke up, “You all, I have some news.” They all looked at him.

“Exciting.” 

“Drumroll please,” Natasha said. 

They all began to tap on the table, but he held his hand up and they stopped. A heavy silence fell upon the table. “I’m going back home.”

They all knew this was going to happen. They were each going to find a way in the world. But it felt too soon. They wanted to stay in their weird little traumatized but familial bubble for a little longer. 

Steve asked, “When?”

“Tonight.”

“Oh.”

Another long silence fell across them. It was too too soon. They had all been putting thought into it, what would happen after. This felt very real, like those thoughts were going to be put into action. Rhodey was the first to do it. 

“I’m going back to my family. I’m staying with them. Everything was kinda chaotic when everyone came back, they didn’t really have a place, but now they do.”

Wanda’s chest ached. Family. How nice it would be if she could just go back to her family. She wanted more than anything to go back to her mother, father, and Pietro. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to go back to them right now. 

Pietro was a frequent thought now. He came up more, a more common thought in her days of staring out windows and trying to read or take a nap. She missed him more now. If he would just come back, maybe she could too. 

Of course that was silly, Natasha came back, and that didn’t change the fuzziness and sadness. If anything, it made her feel more guilty. 

But maybe if her parents were here, maybe if Pietro was here, they would know what to do. They would fix her; they would make everything better. 

Natasha reached down to clasp her hand again, she held it back. It brought her back, out of her thoughts. Natasha gave it a big, almost painful squeeze. Wanda put on a brave face, looked over at her, and smiled. 

“Good. It’s good to be with family,” Steve said. 

“Yeah, that’s great,” Wanda said, chest still aching, eyes slightly watering. 

“I’ll miss you all dearly, but I do have a life back home I want to live. Of course I’ll be back if you need me though.”

Sam spoke, “We understand.”

“Yeah.” 

“Good. Try not to miss me too much.” 

Steve laughed, then Bucky, then they all were. Little giggles escaped Wanda too, lost in the moment, forgetting the sadness for a little bit. 

After a while they all took some deep breaths and re-centered themselves. 

Steve spoke up, “Clint you’re leaving tomorrow morning too, right?” 

“Yeah.”

“It’s like the last supper.”

“Who’s Jesus?” Wanda said.

“Obviously me,” Steve replied. 

“Sure.”

“Yeah, you’d be old enough.” 

“Judas!” Steve exclaimed back.

They all laughed again, lighter this time. 

Natasha squeezed Wanda’s hand again under the table. 

Rhodey talked about his family mostly, and they all intently listened, whether they were missing their family, or were never going to see them again. It was nice to hear someone talking positively about the topic.

It made Natasha think of the big house she hoped for her and Wanda and the kids they maybe could have. 

It also brought Natasha back to thinking about Yelena. She was one of the first things that came to mind when she returned. Steve promised her that they were looking for her, then Wanda took precedence. It was a cycle of her wanting to see Yelena, then wanting to seek her out, then remembering she couldn’t just leave Wanda or try to bring her with for a search. So she trusted Steve that they were looking for her. And she hoped to whatever god there was that she was located soon, along with her parents. She didn’t want to admit it, but she missed them. 

Her and Wanda helped Steve and Bucky clean up after. Wanda mumbled something then headed back into her room.

Natasha grabbed her hand swiftly; she didn’t know what she was thinking. She knew that Wanda was probably feeling bad about her family, but she didn’t want to try to push something that Wanda didn’t want to talk about. But at the same time, she had to do something. She had to let her know she was there for her. 

And selfishly, she wanted to be close to her. She missed her in group hangouts. She missed her when she was in her room.

“What?” Wanda asked wide-eyed.

Natasha kissed her lips lightly. “I don’t know.” 

Wanda smiled against her lips. 

They kissed again, harder. Natasha stuck her tongue into Wanda’s mouth. Wanda let out a barely audible moan. The kiss was deep and filled with desire. It might have been a little too obscene for a shared kitchen. 

“Disgusting. Gross,” Clint said with a smile.

“No PDA where we eat,” Steve smirked. 

Natasha continued to kiss Wanda and held up a middle finger to the boys who were mocking her. Eventually they broke apart. 

Natasha met her eye and whispered to her, “I’m gonna go hang out with Clint, his last day and all.”

“Okay.”

“See you later?”

“Yeah.” 

Natasha smiled at her; Wanda smiled weakly back, then walked into the small hallway that led to their room. 

Although she still wanted Natasha very much all to herself, Wanda didn’t feel that bad about Natasha walking away like she had before. She understood Natasha, she was just trying to spend time with a friend before he left. She was trying to live. Maybe Wanda should try to do the same. 

She turned around to Clint. “What’s on the agenda for this afternoon?” 

He looked at her. “I need to pack up all my stuff and clean out the room.”

“You don’t have to totally clean it out, we can leave it for you,” Steve said, putting his hand on Clint’s shoulder. 

Clint looked over at him. “I’m sure my wife would love me having a second bedroom in The Avengers Compound.”

Natasha laughed. 

“Good point.” 

“I can help you. Let’s go,” Natasha told him. 

He led her to the men’s quarters and then into his room. It was large, even larger than Wanda’s, which was pretty big. She had never actually been in here, maybe briefly, in passing, but not really enough to take a good look at it. 

It had a much bigger kitchenette than Wanda’s and the room was several feet wider. 

“Why did I get the shitty small room? Wanda and you have these gigantic apartments, and all I have is room for like a bed and a dresser.” 

“We are just better.”

She laughed. “Sure.” 

Clint made quick work of taking out all of his clothes from the dresser, not many, and getting all of his stuff from the bathroom. Natasha sat on the bed, talking about how small her room was and other small things. 

Soon, she was helping him stuff clothes into a suitcase.

“Nat, we are really serious about coming back for Thanksgiving, Laura has practically already bought the tickets.”

Natasha smiled widely. “Good. I’m excited to see her, really.”

“She’s excited to see you, too.” 

They went on about their love and appreciation for Laura. Then Natasha asked about the kids which launched into a whole other conversation about them. 

“And I was thinking…”

“You were?”

“Shut it.”

She paused then said, “Continue with what you were going to say.” 

Clint sobered up and looked at Natasha. “Maybe Laura can help Wanda a little.” 

“What?”

He stuffed a shirt in a small green duffle bag with white lettering, then looked back up at her. “Laura has been struggling, too. Maybe they can…relate?” 

“Yeah…” She looked around the room, then looked down at her fingers and fiddled with them. “Maybe.” She wanted them to relate. She wanted Wanda to have someone to talk to. She wanted someone to just fix Wanda. Even after the talk with Steve, she still wanted it, even after he told her it wasn’t going to happen. Hearing someone discourage that idea out loud didn’t help it go away. She wanted badly for Laura to show up and to suddenly fix Wanda. She knew that was a stupid fantasy. 

And Wanda was quiet, especially now. Who was to say that Wanda would even talk to her? She probably wouldn’t. Wanda had always been on the private side, and what had happened had only made that worse.

Clint let out a heavy breath and spoke again, “It’s not like we know what’s going on with her completely, and Laura doesn’t either fully. But maybe she could help. They talked before.”

Natasha began to fold up a sweater that had been lying haphazardly on the floor. “They weren’t super close, though. And Wanda doesn’t really talk to people about, like, everything.”

Clint shrugged slightly. “Just a thought.” 

Natasha met his eye. “I’m not discounting it, I’m just…trying not to get my hopes up. I want her to feel better, I want her to have someone to talk to, but maybe it will be a while.” She looked back down at the clothes.

“Maybe it will, and that’s okay, too. It’s really just a thought.” 

Natasha stopped folding the shirt she had picked up and placed her hand onto his. “It’s a good thought.” 

They continued in silence for a while, folding and stuffing clothes into bags. Surprisingly, Clint had a lot of clothes in the compound that he had left here over the years.

It felt weird finally cleaning all of it up. He felt weird finally going home. Of course, he knew that he would end up coming if they called him, but this time it felt like he was finally going home. 

Clint threw a couple of his old shirts at Natasha and instructed her to keep them. She said okay and set them aside on the dresser. 

“Give this to her,” he handed Natasha a hoodie. 

It was Natasha’s own hoodie. “Why do you have this?” 

Clint met her eye. “When we got back, she took it from your room, like the first night we got back. Uh, I got really mad that she was all depressed while I was happy, I wanted her to be happy. I yelled. And then I took it from her. I don’t know why.” He looked down at the floor. 

Natasha paused to think then pushed it into his chest. “Why don’t you give it back to her?” 

“I…I feel so bad, Natasha.” 

The guilt was evident on his face. Whatever happened when she wasn’t here was not good, and she wanted to try to fix that. Maybe it was her fault, and maybe that’s why she wanted to fix it so badly. “So? Apologize. It will make you feel better.” 

He groaned. “It will.” 

“Go. She’s in her room. I can finish up here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do it,” she said, pushing on his chest again. 

He walked out. Natasha felt rather successful. She happily folded up the rest of the clothes and hoped that Wanda and Clint’s relationship would start to repair. The guilt of not being there gripped her tightly, but she took deep breaths and tried to remember why she wasn’t there. She wasn’t there because she had to save Wanda. Without that Wanda wouldn’t be here. 

She was still lost in thought about Wanda when Clint came back in. 

“Oh, hey you're basically done. Thanks.” 

Natasha looked down, she was basically done. “Yeah. No problem. How did it go?”

“Okay.”

She arched an eyebrow and questioned, “Okay?” 

“I do feel better.”

“Good.” 

Natasha smiled at him. Clint still had a few things to do, so Natasha excused herself. She found herself walking to Wanda’s–well her and Wanda’s–room. It looked a little more tidy since the last time she had been in it. Clothes were no longer sitting on the floor, and the messy stack of books on the dresser were now all lined up evenly in a pile. 

She knocked lightly. “Hey.” 

Wanda, who was sitting on her bed, watching what looked like Bewitched. She held her fingers in her hands and twiddled with the silver rings on them. 

Natasha noted the hoodie was sitting on the pillow next to her. 

Wanda spoke, “Hi. Want to watch?”
“Sure.” 

Natasha sat next to her and curled up on her side. Soon, Wanda had her arm around her and was stroking her hair. Natasha didn’t pay attention much to the show, she was more focused on Wanda right there touching her. Relief was still flooding through her, she thought she would never get over the shock and joy of having her back. 

“I love you, моя сладость .” 

Wanda looked at her with her wide green eyes. “I love you too.” 

They continued in silence until Steve called them for dinner. 

After dinner and saying their goodbyes to Rhodey, Natasha decided to stay with Wanda in her room. She picked up another book, the one that was on the table in the adjacent sitting room that Wanda was supposedly reading, and Wanda read it over her shoulder again. 

She found herself enjoying it. Wanda’s encouragement to turn the page and slightly lopsided smile showed her that she was enjoying it, too. 

Although, eventually, Wanda fell asleep on her shoulder. Natasha carefully put the book down on the nightstand and turned off the bedside lamp. She slowly shifted Wanda down onto the pillow then cuddled around her. 

She woke up early the next morning, still cuddled close to Wanda. She pressed in closer to Wanda’s body. A muffled ‘I love you’ was said into her red hair. 

Wanda began to stir then turned over to meet Natasha’s eyes. 

“I didn't mean to wake you,” Natasha whispered, pushing some of Wanda’s hair out of her face. 

“‘s okay. I like waking up to you.” 

Natasha smiled and kissed her gently. A house far away from here, she thought. They could wake up together like this, all by themselves, with a life they had built.

“When’s Clint supposed to leave?”

Natasha looked over at the digital clock on Wanda’s dresser, the multicolored numbers telling her the time. 

“An hour.” 

Wanda’s face sort of fell. Natasha couldn’t not notice. 

“Talk to me,” Natasha said. 

“Nat…”

“If you really don’t want to talk then tell me to shut up.” 

Wanda rolled over a bit more so she was facing her clearly. “I am gonna miss him. He was there with me, when you were…gone.” Her accent was thick when she spoke. “I mean he wasn’t perfect. You know about the hoodie now and everything. But he did help.” 

“He’s a good man.”

“He is.”

“He’s coming back for Thanksgiving, too, and so is the rest of the family.” 

A flash of fear appeared in Wanda’s eyes. “Why? Do they have to come?” she said, anger lining her words. 

Natasha continued, “And it’s going to be okay because they love you. And they will be much more focused on me.” 

Wanda smiled, but it hadn’t quite reached her eyes. Natasha grabbed her hand from under the covers. 

“ Не пугайся. They really do love you.” 

Wanda rolled over again, now to look at the ceiling. “Do they now? Now that I’m all…weird and broken?” 

Natasha squeezed her hand. “Wanda. They will always love you, no matter what. I will always love you, too, no matter what.” 

A tear rolled down Wanda’s cheek. “That’s good.” 

“And you are not broken. You are going through a lot.” 

Silence fell upon them. Pulling her closer, Natasha pressed a kiss onto Wanda’s head. Wanda leaned into it and pressed her face into Natasha’s chest. A sob wracked through Wanda’s body. 

“I love you, дорогая, no matter what.” 

“I love you, too,” Wanda mumbled into Natasha’s body. 

Wanda felt a little lighter. She knew Natasha did love her no matter what, but hearing it made it more real. She felt safer, more secure, to try to navigate the weird emotions she had, knowing Natasha would be there every step of the way. 

They stayed pressed into each other, under the shelter of the bedsheets and the light of the bright morning sun until they heard a light knock on the door. 

“It’s Clint,” Wanda said. 

“How did you–”

“I can feel him.” Then she whispered very quietly, “I think it’s my powers.” 

Natasha was utterly shocked, but tried not to show it. “Really?”

Wanda contemplated for a moment then shrugged, “Maybe.” 

The knock on the door increased in volume. 

And lo and behold Clint spoke, “Hey, lovebirds. I want to say my goodbyes.” 

Natasha laughed. Wanda smiled at her. They both got up and off the bed, then Natasha opened the door. 

They quickly got dressed, then all of them walked to the landing pad and said their goodbyes there. Clint promised to come back soon with his family. Then he was off. 

Natasha grabbed Wanda’s hand and squeezed it. Wanda stood, frozen, like she didn’t even register it. 

Everyone felt a little weird then, unsure of what to do, staring off into the sky where Clint’s jet had disappeared. They had lost two people in a short amount of time. People are starting their lives now. What were they supposed to do? 

Bucky was the first to speak, “Breakfast anyone?” 

Chapter Text

They all went back inside. Steve and Bucky began to whip up some biscuits and gravy. 

Everyone else sat around the table, quietly chatting. Wanda and Natasha had sat across from each other; Natsha taking up Clint’s spot. 

Sam and Wanda lightly chatted about types of biscuits, when the conversation died, Wanda turned to Natsha. 

She spoke quietly, “I’m going to go back to bed. I’m not really hungry. I don’t want to have to force feed myself.” 

Natasha’s worry was piqued. “Are you sure?”

“Yes it’s just…too early for me.” 

Natasha wanted to ask again, but she stopped herself. “Okay.” 

“I’ll just go back to bed then wake up and eat.” 

“That’s fine.” She grabbed Wanda’s hand. “C’mere.” 

Wanda walked over to Natasha’s chair. Natasha tilted up her head and Wanda leaned down to kiss her lips. 

“Sleep well,” she said, and then delicately kissed her hands too.

Wanda went into her room and laid in bed. She tried to sleep, she was exhausted. Well, she had been exhausted since she could remember. Today it felt more exhausting. 

But she couldn’t get to sleep. 

She wasn’t sure if it was the lack of Natasha’s warm body around her or the absence of Clint. 

There was no relaxing, just thoughts over and over and over. 

At one point, she did fall asleep slightly, but then got that falling sensation and immediately jolted up. Realizing that she probably wasn’t going to go back to sleep, she put on an episode of Bewitched and hoped that somehow Natasha would hear it and join her. 

No, she did not want to be alone, but it felt like too much work and too much embarrassment for her to go out and ask Natasha to accompany her. 

She couldn’t identify why, it just felt weird and shameful to admit that she wanted Natasha close to her at all times. 

Everything felt too much at the moment for Wanda. She had been feeling slightly better, and her powers felt like they were maybe even coming back. For a little bit there she felt almost like she could breathe. But now it was like someone threw her in the dark ocean. The fuzzy weird feeling now attacking her tenfold. 

She sunk into her bed and tried to watch Bewitched. 

After an indeterminable amount of time had passed, Natasha knocked on the door and then came and sat next to her. 

They sat in silence for a while. 

“You missed lunch. I thought you were sleeping, so I didn’t come get you, but you definitely are not asleep.” 

“I couldn’t get back to sleep.” 

“So why didn’t you come out for lunch?”

“Still not hungry,” she snapped. 

It was true, she wasn’t. There was no pang of hunger throughout her entire body. How she wished there was, but there really was not. 

“I don’t want to ask you if something is wrong, again, but…”

“Is something wrong?” Wanda continued. She was right. Wanda did not want to ask her if something was wrong. There obviously was. And no one could do anything to make her feel substantially better. “Yes.”

“I don’t know,” she said flatly. An anger grew in her. She hated how quickly the sadness, the despair turned to anger. “Does it look like it? Do I look okay right now?” 

Natasha stayed silent and then grabbed Wanda’s hands and put them in her lap. Wanda moved closer to her and rested against her side. 

“Can I do anything?” 

There was a long pause. They just looked at each other. Wanda’s eyes seemed void of emotion. She just looked tired, exhausted. 

Then, quietly, she said, “Can you be here?”

“Of course, моя сладость, of course.” 

They laid there for the rest of the afternoon, at some point, Wanda fell asleep against Natasha for a while. Natasha maneuvered around and muted the TV. She picked up one of the books that was sitting atop the stack of books she brought from her room on Wanda’s nightstand. She read for a while, until Wanda began to stir. 

When she woke up, they talked quietly, more about insignificant things. Natasha tried to bring up maybe moving out of the compound, getting their own place, but she didn’t make it past the first sentence before Wanda closed up and her eyes glazed over, so she brought the conversation to a different topic. 

Natasha wanted more than anything to get out of the compound and just go live with Wanda. She had wanted it before everything with Thanos. Then she came back to Wanda and wanted that more. And now Rhodey and Clint leaving had only pushed those thoughts even more. 

While she enjoyed the company of the others, she wanted a life with Wanda. In her dreams, they would move somewhere, Natasha would come and help when Steve called, but she’d always go home to Wanda and the little farm she imagined. 

She thought she couldn’t have both, a life saving others and a home and family, but Clint had proved her wrong. And now in this moment she wanted both more than anything. 

Maybe she had spent too much time around Clint and too much time daydreaming about it. 

But she really did think it was possible, but step one was getting Wanda on board, and obviously now wasn’t the right time. She didn’t want to rush it, but she wanted it so badly.

It neared six and Natasha could hear Steve clanging around in the kitchen. 

“Ready for dinner?” 

“I…” There was still no hunger in her, just tiredness. But Wanda knew she couldn’t fight Natasha now. She hadn’t eaten all day and there was no hiding that. 

“I’m sure Steve is making something easy like…pasta or whatever. You don’t have to eat a lot if you’re not hungry, but eat a little bit okay?”

“Okay.” 

A couple minutes later, Steve called them to tell them that dinner was almost ready. Natasha was right, he had made pasta. 

Natasha briefly remembered FRIDAY. It must have been destroyed when the compound was. And without Tony to recreate it, they probably could not get it back. 

Dinner went by without incident. Once she had eaten a little, Wanda realized she actually was hungry and ended up eating two servings. Natasha smiled and felt more relieved than she had in a while. There was no part of her that wanted to force Wanda to eat. 

They had some tea after dinner, and Steve and Bucky reminisced about the good old days. 

After that, unsurprisingly, Wanda wanted to go straight to bed. She changed slowly and sat on the bed, looking down at her hands and the rings on them  in her lap while Natasha got ready for bed. When Natasha sat down next to her, she noticed Wanda was breathing fast, like she was panicking. 

“Wanda?”

No response. She still breathed quickly. 

“Wanda!” 

Her head snapped up and she looked at Natasha. And after a couple seconds she replied, “What?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just…got lost in thought.”

“Okay, let’s go to bed, душа моя.” 

Natasha cuddled her aggressively, and they both fell asleep quickly. 

They woke up still cuddled together. It was warm, the heat of their bodies and the excess of blankets. Wanda blinked her eyes open and then looked over at Natasha, who was already awake and looking at her.

“Watching me sleep?”

“You look so beautiful when you sleep, моя сладость.” 

“Aw. You’re going to make me blush.”

“You already are.” 

Natasha smiled and kissed her gently. They kissed softly and quietly for a while, then settled back next to each other. 

“What’s on the agenda for today?” Wanda asked. 

“Well, I was going to start working out again this morning.”

Silence fell upon them. Wanda knew that Natasha was going to ask her to come with. But she didn’t want to. The bed was warm and inviting and getting out of bed every day was daunting., today nonetheless. Wanda also briefly thought about how Natasha would overwork herself when she was stressed, once or twice she had fainted from overexertion. A lot of times, Wanda would have to drag her away from the gym when her emotions felt like too much for her. Natasha let her emotions out physically. 

“My body feels weird without moving it, especially after dying and coming back. I have to move, I have to workout.” She paused, carefully choosing her next words. “I would really like it if you came with me, too.” 

Wanda hummed. 

“Just like a little bit. Maybe you could do some yoga or something. It could make you feel better.” Natasha wiggled around under the sheets. 

“Yeah.”

“So you’re coming?”

There was no way she could say no now. And Natasha was probably right. It probably would make her feel better. And she did want to feel better. “Yeah.”

“Great.”

Wanda still felt exhausted, like she always had, and she really did not want to get up, like she always had. Maybe she could linger here, in the warmth, for a little longer before she had to expend any energy. “Can we stay here a little longer?”

“Yeah,” Natasha responded, then she pressed a kiss to the crown of Wanda’s head.

Once the clock read nine, Natasha decided they had to get up. After quickly dressing into workout clothes, Natasha cut up two apples for them to eat, and then they made their way down to the gym. Steve was punching a bag already. 

Wanda hadn’t been here in forever. Everything looked almost the same, a few changes threw her off slightly. Machines were in different places. There were cubbyholes where it looked like Steve stored some hoodies. 

“Oh, hey.”

“Hi. I want to start working out again. Everything feels weird without it.” Natasha glanced over at Wanda and then grasped her hand. “And I dragged her with me.” 

“Do you want to warm up a little bit then we can spar?”

“Sure.” 

Natasha grabbed mats for both of them, and they began to stretch. It was slow and easy. Wanda tried her hardest to lean into it, moving her stiff muscles. Soon, Natasha got up and began sparring with Steve. 

Wanda continued to stretch. As she leaned into a frog stretch, she noticed a couple books atop the cubbyholes. One of them was on yoga, once she was done stretching, she flipped through it then went through a couple poses. Soon, she found herself slowly and deliberately going through a sun salutation. 

She did feel better, her mind felt quieter. All of her focus was on her body and moving carefully. While in the cobra position, she glanced over at Natasha and Steve. They were both happy and smiling. Natasha looked like she was in her element. 

She was happy that she came down, not just for the movement of her own body, but for Natasha’s too. 

After a while, they stopped sparring. Steve walked back upstairs, and Natasha came up to her, sweat was dripping from her forehead and there were sweat stains on her shirt. 

“How is it going?”

“Good.” 

“I’m going to go shower. I’m…” She looked down at herself. “Gross.” 

Wanda laughed. “Can I join you?” 

“Are you all done?”

“Yeah.”

Wanda had been done going through poses a while ago, but she kept going to stay down in the gym with Natasha. She stood up and followed Natasha outside into the hallway. 

Natasha felt hopeful for the first time. This was a step, Wanda moving around. This was good. The more steps she took, the closer she got to being her Wanda again, to being normal with everyone again. Of course, Natasha knew she would never really come back, but at least at some point most of the sadness would be gone. 

Although Wanda wasn’t that much of a big group hangout person either, she preferred quieter spaces with not too many people. Maybe Natasha was somewhat hoping for someone that didn’t even exist. She probably needed to lower her expectations slightly. 

And what even was normal in this situation? How does someone go back to being normal after all of this anyway? 

She decided finally that she just wanted Wanda to be happy again, as happy as she could be. 

Wanda began laying out clothes for them to wear on her bed, and Natasha started the shower. Once the water was hot, Natasha stepped in, then Wanda joined her. Wanda gently washed Natasha’s hair, then Natasha did likewise. 

They got out and dried off. Natasha opted to wear the shirt Wanda had laid out for herself, which left Wanda to wear Natasha’s shirt. It was good. It smelled like her. It felt like her. 

Wanda brushed through her own hair, and afterwards, Wanda neatly braided Natasha’s hair into two braids. 

Natasha furrowed her brow and wiggled around a little bit, Wanda always braided so tightly. “Wanda, that’s too tight,” she voiced. 

“It’s not going to stay if it’s not tight.”

She huffed. “Ugh.” But continued to sit through it. 

Wanda finished one braid then began on the next. She had gotten quite good at braiding, as Natasha always requested braids. Something about them reminding her of Melina and Yelena.

Wanda never turned her braid requests down. She was also sure that Natasha actually loved having her hair touched with but didn’t say anything and played it off as wanting braids.  

Natasha adjusted her position on the floor for the thousandth time.

“Stay still please.”

“The workout gave me more energy. I want to get up.”

“Just let me finish.” 

“That’s what she said.” 

“I’m going to leave you with one braid.” 

“Please don’t.” 

“Stay still.” 

And she did. When she was done, Natasha looked in the bathroom mirror and smiled. “Thank you.”

“No problem, дорогая .” 

Natasha turned around to Wanda and quickly caught her in a kiss. Wanda melted into it and pressed her body into Natasha’s. 

Soon, Steve called them down for lunch. Neither of them realized the amount of time that had passed. Wanda figured they had been down in the gym for a while and the braids also took up some time. 

They both went down and ate the turkey sandwiches that Steve had assembled for all of them. Wanda retired to her room after and watched Dick Van Dyke for the afternoon. While Natasha wished she would hang out with the rest of them, this morning had been a good step to take. She hoped that the same would happen tomorrow. 

The next day, as Natasha hoped, they both went down to the gym together. She sparred with Steve for a while, then joined Wanda in doing yoga. Afterwards, they showered together, helped Steve make lunch, and then ate. 

Natasha wanted this new routine to stick. It felt good. She was feeling better. She hadn’t noticed how much she needed to move her body. 

In the afternoon, Wanda retired to her room again. Natasha was trying to feel a little better about that, she figured that Wanda wasn’t one for hanging out anyway, and she shouldn’t try to make her into something she wasn’t even before she left. 

But she still noted to herself to try to push Wanda a little bit to hang out in big groups when she could.

But for now, it looked like the rest of the afternoon was to be spent with Steve, looking at the future of the Avengers.

Bucky and Sam had gone on a mission, something about a bridge. They apparently had been helping out all over America when people came back, but put it on hold when Natasha came back, and now they were back to it. 

Steve decided to stay back and do some monitoring from home. 

They both sat in his office, he clicked through emails and she read through some of the previous mission notes and reports. 

“So these are our missions now?” She did still want to help them. The Avengers were her family, she could not just stop being a part of it. Plus, she still wanted to help people.

“Yes, getting people back together, helping society heal. It’s good work, Natasha, better than fighting space aliens.”

She shrugged and flipped into another file.

“Not exciting enough?”

“No, it’s just a lot.” 

“It is. Take your time, you don’t have to jump right into helping us.”

But she wanted to find Yelena. That was her mission. And she knew she could accomplish it with the others. Wanda had taken up much of her thoughts lately, but when those cleared, all she could think about was Yelena. She wanted to find her so bad, but she couldn’t just break off from the compound. “Yeah, I know. I just want to help.”

He looked over at her, away from his laptop. “For now, just focus on helping around here and helping Wanda. You can jump in to help everyone else when you are ready.”
“When were you ready?”

He paused, thinking.

“Exactly.” 

“But I didn’t come back from the dead jump into the arms of a very traumatized girlfriend.” 

“I guess you did not.”

“So, just be patient.”

“I want to help.” 

He rolled his eyes at her and looked back at his computer. She looked back down at the mission report in her hands. After getting through two more, Steve said they’d take a break. They both got up and went into the kitchen for a snack. 

She heated up three mugs of water and put black tea bags in them. She then called Wanda out to the kitchen. 

Steve, Wanda, and her chatted for a little bit, then Steve got a call and went back into his office. 

Natasha eyed Wanda. “How ya feeling?”

Her face sort of softened when Natasha spoke. Although Wanda had gotten annoyed on all the checking in on her, she had kind of gotten used to it. She responded, “Good. I think working out has helped.”

“Good.” 

Wanda got up and took their now empty tea mugs to the kitchen. Natasha pondered telling Wanda that she wanted to go on missions to help and maybe find Yelena, but she figured she could wait a little bit. Put it off just a little bit more. 

After a chaste kiss, Wanda went back to her room, and Natasha went back to Steve’s office. 

He was clicking away absentmindedly on his computer. 

She looked down at the next file. It was a mission about locating a government leader from Canada.

All she could think about now was locating Yelena. While reading it, she surmised that everything had gone smoothly and that everyone involved was back in place.  

“Steve?”

He looked up and over at her. “Yeah?”

“How’s finding Yelena going?”

He blanched, and evaded the question, uncommon for him. “It’s been really busy here. We don’t have all the resources to find everyone immediately.” 

“Seriously?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Anger rose up in her suddenly, she stood up. It took over her. So much for all that emotional conditioning. 

It wasn’t even about this, it was about everything. She was sick of everything being so fucking tiring in her life. Trying to come back to normal was tiring, trying to help Wanda was tiring, trying to act like everything was normal was tiring, trying to think of any future plan was tiring, missing Yelena was tiring.  “Are you even trying to find her?”

“There are thousands upon thousands of missing persons right now. She isn’t a lead government official or a convicted murderer. Some cases take precedence.” 

The anger and emotion swelled. Every frustration she had felt was coming to a head. She tried to push it down, but it wouldn’t stay down. “We need to find her!” 

“I know. I know. I’ll make sure it takes precedence now.” 

“It didn’t take precedence when I asked you to look for her when I first came back?”

He spoke calmly and evenly, “You don’t understand how overwhelmed we are right now. And we are down people.”

“We need to find her.”

He held his hand up in a calming gesture; it didn’t do anything for her. “Okay, listen, I will do everything in my power to make sure she is located as soon as possible, but we are also overwhelmed.”

She inhaled shakily, then spoke, “Good.” 

And she walked out. 

She took a couple of deep breaths. Took a few steps. Tears almost fell. More deep breaths. 

Now she was mad at herself, for snapping at Steve like that. He knew that he didn’t know how much Yelena meant to her. Hell, she didn’t know how much she meant to her. She had never felt these feelings about a person. It was a weird familial worry that she had never experienced. 

After pacing around the hallways for a couple of minutes, deep in thought and trying to calm down still, her feet took her back to her and Wanda’s room. 

She sat down next to Wanda, who was on the bed, half reading a book. 

Natasha’s red eyes and tired face gave all of it away. “What’s up? Talk to me.”

“Nothing.” Nastasha sat against her side. 

Wanda arched an eyebrow. “If you really don’t want to talk then tell me to shut up or whatever you said earlier.” 

“It’s just…Yelena and well everything. It’s just all a lot.”

Wanda smiled slightly. She put her arm around Natasha and rubbed her back. “I know. And I know you want to see her. We are going to find her soon.” 

“I know. I just want her here right now.”

“I know you do, дорогая.”

“We will find her soon,” Natasha said definitively.

“We will.” 

A couple mornings later, Wanda woke up settled on Natasha’s chest. It was sweet and warm and everything she wanted. 

It was unusual that Wanda had woken up first. Every day had been a struggle to wake up and get out of bed. Usually Natasha had forced her to get up and workout with her. 

Yes, she wanted to workout and feel better, but it was hard in the mornings. She was grateful for Natasha for many reasons, but pushing her to get out of bed was a big one.

Suddenly, Steve was banging down their door. 

Natasha woke up immediately, sitting up which basically threw Wanda off of her. 

Wanda laughed, “What was that for?” 

She joined in, laughing quietly, “Sorry. Just wasn’t expecting Steve to wake me up.” 

Chapter Text

“Hey, I made some protein pancakes for us to eat before we work out this morning,” he called through the door. They had fallen into a routine in the mornings: eating breakfast, working out for a while, getting ready, maybe doing something else, then lunch.
“We weren’t even awake yet,” Wanda called back.

Natasha laid back on the bed and admired Wanda. She sat up on the bed, her long red hair spilled messily over her shoulders. Strands of hair that were stuck to her tank top glimmered in the light. Her eyes looked a little lighter, but the dark circles under them were still there. 

“Sorry. I’ll wait in the kitchen.”

Wanda flopped back down on the bed then turned to Natasha. “I really didn’t want to get up yet. I wanted to stay here and snuggle in bed.” 

“We can later.”

Wanda sharply inhaled. “Okay, I guess,” she said with a frown. 

“Now that won’t do.” Natasha then leaned in to kiss the frown off of her. It was gentle but also wanting and desperate. Wanda put her arms around her neck and pulled her in closer. Natasha pushed her tongue into Wanda’s mouth. Natasha missed the feeling of Wanda’s mouth pressed against hers. She missed this feeling of intimacy and desire. Wanda kissed her back hard. 

This was really something to wake up for. 

Natasha pulled away, and after taking a second to get air she smiled and said, “Okay, let’s get up.” 

Wanda pressed her lips to her again, hard. She tangled her hands in Nataha’s half dyed hair and pulled her in closer. Natasha responded, pushing her mouth and body further into Wanda. Gently, Natasha pulled away then got up out of the bed. 

Wanda looked up at her with furrowed brows. “That was supposed to distract you.”

“You really don’t want to go?”

She still felt tired all the time. So no, she didn’t really want to go. But after the past few days of forcing herself then feeling better for it, she figured it was the right thing to do. “No. I…I do.”

“Okay, get up. Let’s go eat some pancakes or whatever.” 

Natasha kissed her on the lips quickly. Wanda frowned when she pulled away so quickly. 

“You’re not distracting me again.”

Wanda laughed. 

They both got out of bed. Natasha grabbed Wanda’s hand and dragged her out. Once she was fully out of the bed, Natasha kissed both of her palms then told her to get dressed. 

Upon walking out into the kitchen, they saw that Steve had already set everything out for them including a cup of coffee and a glass of water at each table setting.

“Fancy,” Wanda noted. 

“You’re quite the host.” 

“Thank you.” 

They all sat down to eat, Natasha laid her hand on Wanda’s leg, per usual. Then halfway through Steve spoke up.

“So I have something to tell you guys.”

Wanda’s shoulders tensed up; they jumped up slightly and pressed into her body. She was always expecting the worst, expecting someone to leave, expecting half the world to leave again.

Natasha was quick to speak, “There’s the catch.”

“Why is there a catch?” he countered with a frown

Natasha leaned in closer to the table. “Because you don’t fold up our napkins, put forks and knives out, and give us drinks for no reason.” 

“Is it bad?” Wanda asked, looking right at him.

“No…no. Nothing bad.” 

Wanda’s body untensed slightly. Natasha squeezed her thigh in reassurance. She relaxed a little bit more. 

Natasha smiled at him. “Well, spill the beans then.”

He hesitated. “Bucky and I are together. We have been for a long time. We were going to tell everyone, but then we hesitated and soon everyone disappeared and well…what was there to tell? But now everyone’s back and we aren't going to hesitate anymore. You guys are first, then we will get around to telling the others.” 

Wanda relaxed much more and smiled at him. “Aww. Thanks for telling us.” 

“I’m so happy for you guys. I’m so happy for you.”

Steve let out a breath and responded, “Thanks.”

She took a slow sip of her coffee then glanced over at Wanda, who was smiling. The coffee and company warmed her. She knew how much Bucky meant to Steve, it was a matter of time before this happened. 

“That must have been a lot to carry with everything,” she said. 

“Yeah…When everyone was gone I wanted to tell you so bad,” he said looking at Natasha, “but I just had to hope that he’d come back and we’d get back together and I’d tell you then.” 

She suddenly felt bad. She was so wrapped up in missing Wanda, she hadn’t even noticed anything off about Steve. “I wish I could have been there for you, though.” 

He shrugged. “You had enough going on.”

“I still could have tried.”

“It’s not your fault.”

She sighed and sat back in her chair. “Okay.”

“I appreciate it, though. I know you would have been there for me,” Steve replied. 

Wanda cleared her throat. “So when did you guys get together?” 

“Right after we broke you all out of The Raft.” 

It was dark as hell outside when they landed the quinjet in the forest. Then, they slowly all made their way out and into the Wakandan castle. 

Natasha carried Wanda, and Steve helped a limping Clint inside. 

The people in the castle gave them a warm welcome and showed them all the rooms they could stay in. 

Steve watched as Natasha continued to carry a completely nonverbal Wanda into one of the rooms. She hadn’t spoken since getting out of the prison, nor had she moved much. She looked tired and extremely weak, Natasha had insisted on carrying her out of the jet and into their room. Wanda willingly went into her arms. He was worried to say the least. The other prisoners hadn’t said anything about the conditions or really anything at all about the prison since breaking them out. 

Steve was brought out of his thoughts by another man showing him and Bucky to their room. Each room was like its own apartment. They had two small bedrooms and a bathroom, with a small sitting area and a kitchenette. 

They both set down their stuff on the smaller coffee table in front of the sofa. 

“Which room do you want? Left or right?” Steve said, looking between the rooms.

When he turned around Bucky was standing right behind him. He could feel his warm breath on his face.

“We could share?” 

“I’m alright with that.” 

And with that, Bucky grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom on the right side. Steve changed into pajamas and got under the heavy duvet.

Bucky was quick to join him. He laid closer to him than what was normal then wrapped his arm around his torso. 

“Goodnight, Buck.” 

He murmured back, “Goodnight, Steve.” 

It was the best night of sleep either of them had ever had. 

Steve woke up to Bucky right by his side. His breaths were even and slow. He looked so peaceful. 

When he finally woke up, Steve gently kissed him on the mouth.

“So this is a thing now?”

“Hasn’t it always been?”

Steve smiled and returned to kissing him.  

“That’s a while,” Natasha said. 

There was a pause then, “We have to go on a double date now,” Wanda said.

Natasha turned to her incredulously. “What?”

“Could be fun,” she threw back.

Steve smiled and voiced, “I second that.”

Natasha whipped around to look at him. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” Wanda pleaded. 

Well, she couldn’t say no to her. “Fine.” 

Natahsa got up and cleared all the dishes, shooing Steve off when he tried to do the same. As they were about to go down to train, Bucky entered the kitchen. 

They chatted for a little bit, Steve informed him that Wanda and Natasha knew now. He told them that Bruce was off to help someone and wouldn’t be back until next week. Sam had also gone on a smaller mission but would be back in a few hours. They invited him to come train with them. He accepted. 

They all went down to the gym, Wanda was now sparring again, of course after yoga. So her and Bucky began sparring, opposite from Steve and Natasha. After several rounds of rotating partners, they did some stretching and went back upstairs. 

Wanda and Natasha retired back to their room, Steve and Bucky did likewise. 

After showering and getting ready, Wanda and Natasha rejoined the group in the kitchen. 

Over lunch, they talked about how fast thanksgiving was coming up and how Clint would be there the next night. 

Wanda suddenly felt a sense of overwhelm. The whole Barton family would be there. While she knew Clint, she didn’t really know his kids or his wife. She had heard about them from him and Natasha, but had never seriously been introduced to them. They were strangers mostly. And it felt like too many people. It already felt like too many people there right now, but she was sort of getting used to it. 

And of course, Natasha sensed this saying that they would be there and back to Iowa before they knew it. She also gently squeezed her hand under the table then gently let it go to go back to eating. 

Sam spoke up, “God, how much food do we have to make.”

“Don’t worry, Chef Steve has it all covered,” Bucky joked. 

“I’ll probably need a sous chef though.”

“Don’t look at me,” Sam said. 

“Laura will probably help. She loves to cook,” Natasha added. 

“Am I going to become her sous chef, though?”

“Maybe, she does like to order people around.” 

They chuckled. 

After lunch, Natasha convinced Wanda to go outside on a walk with her. She planned on walking along the water and trying to relax, like Steve had done with her. 

She protested a little bit, saying that she wanted some time to herself, like she usually did in the afternoon, but Natasha did not let up. 

Soon they found themselves walking along the walkway that surrounded the water. Natasha clasped onto Wanda’s hand hard. 

“It’s so nice outside…I haven’t been outside in…a long time,” Wanda murmured.

The sun beat down on Natasha’s blonde-red hair and made it glow. She looked so beautiful under the light of the sun. 

She was upset that she missed five years, but looking at her now she was so happy and grateful that she was by her side now. It took a toll. When Wanda was gone, she thought that she would never ever get over it. She would be missing something, less than for all of her life. She was so happy that was not the case. 

Wanda could also see how easy it was to do all the mundane things now because of Natasha. Working out was easy, helping cook was easy, getting out of bed was…easier, going outside was easy. All of these things seemed impossible before. Now, everything seemed like less of a challenge with Natasha there. She felt stupid knowing that everything was that easy but only Natasha pushing her had made her do it. 

Before her brain had caught up, her mouth began voicing these thoughts. “Thank you for pushing me to work out and get up and go outside. I wish I could do it by myself. It’s really not that hard but I guess I’m not strong enough all alone…” 

Natasha stopped and turned to look at her. “We are all going through a hard time, especially you. Sometimes we just need help, Wanda. You aren’t weak or incompetent. It has just been a lot.” 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you here, Паучок.” 

“You would figure everything out. You’re strong.” 

They walked in silence for a while then when they approached the water Wanda spoke again, “It’s so beautiful.” 

“It is. Just like you.” 

“You’re so stupid.” 

“You love it,” Natasha said with a smile. Then she began taking off her shoes and socks then waded slowly into the water. 

She looked back up at Wanda, “What’re you doing? Get over here.”

Wanda laughed then took her own shoes and socks off then rolled up her pants. 

She slowly walked into the water. “It’s freezing!” 

“Calm down. It’s not that bad.”

Wanda met her lover where she was standing and grabbed onto both of her hands. 

“I’m so happy you’re here,  душа моя. I don’t think I’ll ever get over how happy I am. Bringing you back was the only thing I thought about for five years straight, and here you are.” 

Wanda kissed her gently. 

“And I don’t care if you need me to push you to get out of bed or workout or go outside or whatever. I’ll help you. I’ll help you until you can do it all yourself.” 

“I think I can, I just needed that push. I just didn’t feel like myself at all when I came back–I still don’t. I lost everything upon coming back, I felt like I lost myself, too. It’s hard to just wake up and do normal shit after that. I couldn’t. So I didn’t.” She paused and looked up at the sky. “But I can see myself now. I remember who I was, well who I am. You helped remind me of that.”

She looked at Natasha once again. “But it’s still not all there. I still don’t feel completely myself, maybe I never will. I lost five years of my life–five years with you–and who knows when or if my powers are coming back. ” 

“Thanks for talking to me…telling me. I know it’s annoying having me ask how you are every five seconds. But I really do want to know.” 

“Yeah, you are annoying.” 

Natasha gently splashed some water on her.

“Hey!” 

Wanda splashed her back.

“My shirt! Don’t get it wet.”

“Natalia, that’s mine.” 

She looked down. “Oh, uh, well you don’t want your shirt wet, do you?” 

“I’m indifferent.” Wanda said, then splashed her again. 

Natasha splashed her again, Wanda did likewise. 

Soon, Wanda had pushed Natasha fully into the water. Then Natasha grabbed her hand and pulled her down with her. 

They both fell into a fit of laughter and stayed sitting on the muddy river bed for a while. 

“Okay, I’m fucking freezing now. Can we go inside?”

“I guess.” 

They both stood up, water fell off of them loudly. Wanda wrung out her shirt and then got onto the grass and tried to dry her feet off before she put her shoes and socks back on. 

The walk back was freezing, although the sun had dried them off a little bit by the time they got back. 

Upon walking in, Steve was sitting, reading in the main entrance sitting area. 

“What the hell happened to you guys?”

Wanda said, “Fell in the river.” At the same time, Natasha said, “She pushed me in!” 

Steve laughed. “Okay, don’t get everything all wet though.” 

They walked through the hallways and up the stairs into their rooms as quickly as they could. 

“Let’s shower to warm up. I’m still freezing,” Wanda said.

“You brought that upon yourself by pushing me into the water,” Natasha responded, crossing her arms. 

“So you’re saying no to a shower with me?” Wanda quirked her eyebrow.

“Uhhhh…no.” 

“Come on, idiot.” 

Wanda turned on the shower to the hottest setting, stripped, then hopped into the shower. Natasha was quick to join her. 

Wanda turned Natasha around and kissed her hard on the mouth. It was full of fire and want. She continued to press hard, and Natasha met her energy. 

She pushed herself into Natasha’s body. It was desperate and uncoordinated, just throwing herself into the other woman. When their chests met and Wanda moaned slightly. Natasha reciprocated the sentiment and grabbed Wanda’s hips to pull her closer. Wanda murmured something akin to ‘yes’ and then continued to press her lips hard into the kiss. She wanted this so bad, she wanted Natasha so bad. Upon Natasha coming back, she had wanted to do this, but she wanted to also wait until she felt a little more like herself. This felt like the perfect opportunity. 

Their bodies fit together perfectly, like they always had. It felt like before everything had happened. They just had each other and that was it. 

Wanda slipped her tongue into Natasha’s mouth. Natasha slightly moaned and tightened her arms around Wanda to pull her even closer. 

Natasha was slightly shocked by Wanda’s sudden actions, but she was not complaining in the least, so she continued to take it further. 

Natasha began to trail kisses down her neck. Wanda moaned and lifted her chin to expose more of her neck. Natasha continued then went down to her sternum, then to her stomach. 

Natasha broke away and she breathlessly said, “Are you sure?” 

“Yes, please.” 

Natasha nodded at her, and then her knees hit the hard tile. 

When they got out of the shower, Natasha slipped on another of Wanda’s shirts and then a pair of her own sweatpants. 

Wanda braided Natasha’s hair into one wraparound braid and then she blow dried her own. 

She put on I Love Lucy, then joined Natasha who was sitting on the bed. 

Natasha wrapped her arm around her and pulled her in, then she pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. Wanda melted into Natasha, the touch, the safety. 

At some point, she fell asleep and woke up to Natasha saying that it was time for dinner. 

The next morning they got up and went about their usual routine. The rest of the day went by normally. 

Then Clint, Laura, and their kids arrived at about eight that night. 

They decided to stay in the “women’s quarters” which was really just Wanda and Natasha’s room. The kids wanted to be closer to Auntie Nat. 

Wanda tried not to be affected by the hubbub of movement and children and Clint hugging her really hard, but it was to no avail.

Everything felt like too much, people were in her space. Well they weren’t really in her space–her room–but it felt like it. 

And Clint. He was there for her when she needed it badly, when she first came back. But then he left her. He had left for rightful reasons, and Natasha had been there, it wasn’t like he left her alone. But it felt like abandonment. 

They all hung out in the dining room, including the kids who were too excited to be put to sleep. 

Wanda retired to her room quickly and continued I Love Lucy from the previous day, and locked the door to make sure no one could enter. Natasha did not try to object or fight her on it. She stayed in the dining room and talked to Clint and Laura.  

Nate was sitting on her lap curled into her chest, saying that he wasn’t going to fall asleep. Lila and Cooper were sitting next to their mother. The rest of the group were sitting down or puttering around in the kitchen making drinks. 

“Wanda’s still not feeling it?” Clint asked

“She’s getting better,” Natasha was quick to answer. 

“She really is,” Steve added. 

“What’s up with her?” Laura said. Everyone went quiet. 

Natasha steeled her emotions. She really didn’t want people talking about Wanda. Especially in front of a big group. Especially with people like Sam and Bruce who still didn’t exactly trust her not to blow up the compound. But she knew Laura was concerned. 

The silence went on for too long, so Laura filled it. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to—” 

“It’s okay. It’s just a lot for her. Everything that happened.” 

The table was quiet. 

“I can only imagine,” Laura said. 

Clint was quick to pick up a different conversation. “You look much happier than usual, Nat,” He noted as he sat down at the table, now with a drink. 

She was suddenly reminded of yesterday with Wanda in the shower. She steeled her face so as to not give anything away. “Of course you’re here, that makes me so incredibly happy,” she deadpanned. 

Steve straightened up in his seat. “No, you’re right. She looks all joyful now. Has been since yesterday,” he added. 

Wanda had perked her up…to say the least. Natasha gave him a look, one of offense, but now really struggling to keep down a blush. “Am I not allowed to be happy?”

He shrugged back at her. “It’s just excessive.” 

Laura smiled at her. “Leave a girl alone,” she said to the rest of them. 

She relaxed in her chair and gestured to Laura. “Thank you.”

Clint eyed her skeptically. 

Natasha requested, “Can we move on now?”

“I guess.” 

Natasha pointedly turned to Clint and Laura. “How are you? How has it been?”

“This is not subtle,” Clint said. 

Laura spoke, “We’ve been good. It’s been a lot since everything, but we are…coping.”

“Good,” Sam responded. 

Natasha swirled around the spoon that was sitting in her mug of tea. The tea that reminded her of Wanda. The one that Wanda had given to her one sleepless night when they first got together. The one she drank almost every day of those five years. God, she wanted Wanda here sitting next to her. She didn’t want to have to say that she was ‘coping’ or that it was ‘a lot for her’, she wanted her here with her. 

But she wasn’t, so she added, “It’s been a lot for everyone.”

She knew she had to be patient, she knew she couldn’t push her too hard. But it didn’t stop the feeling of frustration when all she wanted was Wanda next to her and she wasn’t. 

Bucky voiced, “Everyone’s just trying to cope now.” 

“We’re getting through it,” Clint said, grabbing Laura’s hand. 

They chatted for a while longer, then one by one they all retired to bed except Natasha and Laura who stayed up late into the night. 

Wanda also stayed up, still watching the sitcom. When she heard Natasha approaching the door at around midnight, she remembered that it was locked. 

She did not want to get up. 

Suddenly, a whisper of red surrounded the door handle and Wanda heard the lock click off. 

She sat straight up from her slouched position in pure shock. That was her magic she saw on the door. After trying to conjure up her magic again and it not working, she figured it must have been her imagination…or something. She really did not know.

Chapter Text

Then, Natasha was opening up the door. She threw all her clothes off and put on an oversized shirt to wear to bed; she joined Wanda in bed. 

Wanda had to get up to turn off the TV, while up she also turned off the bedside lamps. She rejoined her lover in bed. 

The next morning, they both woke up to the sounds of excited children and Clint promising pancakes outside their room. 

“Ugh. Why are they so loud?” Wanda groaned into Natasha’s side. 

She smirked. “I don’t know.” 

“Can I have one day with no one waking me up?”

Then there was a knock on the door accompanied by, “Auntie Nat? Are you awake?” 

Wanda groaned again. 

Then, “Hey hey. Don’t wake her up. She could still be asleep.” 

Wanda rolled over onto Natasha’s chest. “Can we just pretend we are asleep?”

“Come on. I want to see them,” she responded with a smile. 

Wanda’s face changed. “Fine.” 

Silence fell between them. 

“Go join them. If that’s what you want,” Wanda said. 

“Wanda, I–” 

“Come on, let’s get up,” she said flatly. 

Natasha reluctantly got out of bed and began getting dressed, Wanda was a few moments behind her. 

Natasha knew that Wanda was already nervous for them to come and that she was probably feeling overwhelmed, so she swore to herself to keep a much closer eye on Wanda for the next few days and give her breaks from all the activity when she wanted them, even though she’d rather Wanda be out with everyone with her. 

They walked out to the kitchen where Clint had started making pancakes and Laura was looking through the giant pantry, next to Steve.

Natasha grasped onto Wanda’s hand. She brought it up to her lips and kissed it softly then let their hands fall back down. Wanda squeezed Natasha’s hand hard in response. 

“I don’t think we have everything for a Thanksgiving dinner, Steve,” she noted.

He looked at her, incredulously. “What are you talking about, we have everything.”

She gestured to the pantry and laughed, then looked back at him. “You don’t even have a turkey.” 

Bucky and Sam laughed. 

“It’s crazy we don’t have a turkey because it’s seriously like Mary Poppins’ bag in that pantry,” Natasha supplied. 

Laura looked over at her and laughed. “Goodmorning, Nat. Good morning, Wanda.” 

“‘Morning.”

“Hi.” 

“How’s it going? Do you want some coffee?” 

Natasha could see the questions and concern about Wanda behind Laura’s eyes, but she didn’t voice any questions or concerns. But she had told her last night just to act like everything was normal. She didn’t want another person asking Wanda how she was or–god forbid–asking about her powers. 

“Yeah, that would be great,” Wanda said, walking over to the coffee machine. She poured herself a cup and also poured Natasha one.  

They sat down at the table and Natasha idly chatted to the Barton children. She grasped Wanda’s hand under the table to steady her–and maybe herself too. Wanda added every now and then. And soon food was placed in front of them and they all ate rather quickly. 

“So there might be some more people joining us,” Steve said. 

Wanda’s shoulders tensed, almost unnoticeably, and she looked down. Natasha squeezed her hand. She didn’t squeeze back. 

“Like who?” Laura asked. 

Steve smiled slyly. He was enjoying this secret. A surprise. Maybe a little light in the dark for some of them. “Some dear friends of ours.”

“When are they getting here?” Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Steve smiled. “Soon.”

“Very mysterious,” Sam noted. 

“I want to keep it a surprise. But I also wanted to give heads up.” He subtly gave a look to Wanda then looked around at the rest of the table. 

Soon, the Barton kids cleaned up the table, on Clint and Laura's command. They all slowly migrated into the sitting room and Clint and Bucky set up a game of hearts. 

The Barton kids and Steve also joined. 

Wanda sat with her legs in Natasha’s lap on the couch, watching. Natasha gently stroked her legs and poked fun at Steve and Clint. Wanda gave Lila some pointers on which cards to lay down. 

A couple of rounds later, there was the sound of doors opening and closing. 

“Did someone say it was Thanksgiving tomorrow?” 

Natasha whipped around. It was Maria, Nick, and Carol. 

“Hey y’all.” 

Natasha gently extracted herself from Wanda’s legs and got off the couch. “It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Romanoff,” Nick said. 

Natasha hugged Carol too. Once they released Carol gave her a wide smile and said, “We’re happy you’re back.” 

Clint stood up and shook his hand. “God, Fury. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” 

“It’s been too long.” 

“Hi, Nick,” Laura said from the couch with a smile. 

“Hi, Laura. Hi kids.” 

They gave little waves back to him. 

“Alright, come in, come in,” Sam said. They all shuffled into the living area and out of the smaller entryway. 

“Where can we put our stuff?” Maria asked.

Natasha met her eye. “How long are you staying?” 

“Just through tomorrow night.” 

“Um, you gals can stay in the women's quarters, which is down that hallway,” Steve said, pointing southerly. “And Nick, you’re with us in the mens.” He pointed down to the men’s quarters. 

After they had all set their stuff down, they joined everyone in the commonspace and played cards. Natasha had pointed them to their rooms and was now sitting on the couch with Wanda slumped against her.

“You alright?” she asked, pushing some hair out of her face.

Wanda mumbled back, “Yeah.”

“You look a little tired.”

“‘M fine,” Wanda mumbled. 

Natasha wanted to give her an out, so she quietly suggested a nap or going back to read for a little bit, but she didn’t seem to want to take it. 

They ordered in a whole bunch of sandwiches for lunch. Natasha was feeling a bit antsy, she wasn’t sure if it was because of all the people, stressing about Wanda, or stressing about the holiday. Holidays had always felt like a lot for her, for many different reasons, but this one was even more than the other ones. 

So she went downstairs to train. Steve and Wanda joined her, like usual. The others had declined saying this was a vacation time for them, not a workout time. 

It was a slower workout day for them. Wanda went through several yoga poses for them, then they went through some proper boxing form. It released some of the antsiness in Natasha. 

After that, Wanda retired to her room to watch I Love Lucy again. Natasha decided to join her. She threw all of the blankets over them and half tucked Wanda in. Soon, Wanda was fast asleep against Natasha. She smiled when Wanda snored slightly. It made her happy that Wanda was able to relax. Around six, Steve called them down for dinner. Wanda begrudgingly got up. 

The next day, breakfast was a rowdy affair. 

Laura made french toast for everyone, Steve tried to set the table, several pots of coffee had to be brewed. 

After, Steve, Bucky, and Sam met with Nick and Maria in the office to discuss some mission stuff. Natasha got roped into playing hide and seek with the Barton children. And after convincing Natasha, they managed to convince Wanda too. 

Once they all came back from the office Steve suggested that he, Laura, and some of the others go with them to pick up food for dinner. After triple checking the grocery list, they were off. Soon, Clint had shown the kids the indoor pool, and they all went for a swim. 

Maria and Carol had decided to join in the swimming. That left the women’s quarters empty. Wanda wanted to take advantage of the quiet, so Natasha and Wanda went back to their room. She grabbed one of the books off of the pile on the nightstand. This one was newer. It came out during the blip; it was one of the few good ‘blip books’. 

Natasha read, and Wanda read over her shoulder, until they had come back from shopping. 

There was a bunch of noise from the kitchen of bags being thrown and Steve directing traffic.

Natasha pulled a complaining Wanda out of bed, and they went out to help them. 

Turns out they also had Chinese food to eat for lunch. 

Over lunch, Bruce talked about leaving soon, that he was going to go back to where a home he had was with one of his labs. He said he’d figure things out and be leaving after Thanksgiving. To Natasha, it felt like another punch in the gut. She wanted to get out of the compound–though she loved the company–but she didn’t know how Wanda felt, and she did not want to push her.

They all ate out of the white boxes, not bothering for plates. The group who was still in the pool came up about halfway through the meal and complained that they didn’t leave any for them. Just for Sam to hand Maria a half filled box of white rice, to which she threw back in his face. 

“No need to be so violent.” 

“No need for the jokes.” 

They laughed, and moved on, Clint began to raid the fridge for them.

“Hey! Do not take any of the food we just bought, that’s for dinner!” Laura told him. 

Clint held his hands up in surrender. He voiced, “I won’t. I won’t.” 

“Hey, maybe we should cook up this turkey for lunch.”

Another box of rice was thrown. 

After everyone had settled down and eaten, Laura and Steve ran through the dishes they were making and when what had to go in the oven. 

Maria and Nick were in charge of cleaning up the dining room and setting the table, making it look fancier for the occasion. 

Natasha decided to take up clearing the dishes from lunch and making sure the kitchen wasn’t a total mess. Wanda joined her, putting forks in the dishwasher and getting a new roll of paper towels.

Once done, Wanda went up behind Natasha and snaked her arms around her waist. She said quietly, “I’m gonna take a short nap. I just…”

“It’s alright. I can join you if you want?”

“Yeah, that’d be good,” she responded with a nod. 

Wanda was right, she had only slept about an hour before there was knocking on the door. She looked over, Natasha was dead asleep, so she stumbled over to the door. Her heart was sort of racing like she was about to freak out, but it stayed under the surface. 

“Oh, hi.”

“Hey…Sorry were you asleep?”

“Yeah. It’s alright.” She gave her a warm smile. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you or Nat wanted to come help cook. It’s alright if not, but I wanted to extend an invitation.” 

She looked back at Natasha, still dead asleep. “I’d love to. Should I wake her?” 

“Sure. We might need more hands.” She paused and thought for a moment. “I’ve never known Nat to take naps,” Laura said with a chuckle.

“Ah, well. It’s my fault. I just get…tired.”

“Yeah.” She thought for a moment, then looked back at Wanda walking behind her. “We all do. It’s alright.” 

Wanda felt warmth in her chest. Not that Natasha or Steve hadn’t been helping her or validating her struggle, but something about Laura saying it made it feel different. 

Soon, they were in the kitchen, and Steve put Wanda in charge of the mashed potatoes. Natasha was chopping some type of vegetable. Laura began preheating the oven then looked through the fridge for something. Steve was cutting the turkey out of the package and closely examining Bucky’s work with an occasional ‘cut smaller’ or a ‘no not diagonal’. 

It felt nice, doing something like this. 

Within a few hours, everything was ready. 

They all carried the dishes to the dining room, which was beautifully put together, courtesy of Maria and Nick. There were three tall candles in the middle, fancy placemats and napkins that  Natasha had never seen before, empty wine and water glasses at every place. 

They all complimented the chefs and Maria and Nick and then sat down. Steve was at the head of the table. Natasha sat to one side of him, and Wanda sat next to her. Immediately upon sitting down, Natasha grabbed Wanda’s hand and held it under the table for almost the entire meal.  

“Well let’s dig in,” Steve said.

They sat quietly, politely as if waiting for the others to go first.

Clint spoke, breaking the silence, “Well, you heard the man.” 

Then chaos broke out–a good chaos. Everyone was taking dishes from the middle, handing them to others, spilling or almost spilling food. 

Once they all had their food, Steve came out and poured them all wine and water, then set the bottles down in the middle of the table. 

The kids chatted up Nick and Sam, who they were sitting across from. Laura talked to Natasha and Wanda about what books they had been reading. Clint attempted to add to that conversation every now and then. Carol updated them on what was going on in space. They ate. It was good. 

Once they had mostly finished, Steve called them all to attention. 

“Well, I think we all have a lot to be grateful for this year, but I think we should go around and say what we are the most grateful for.”

He was right, there was a lot to be grateful for. Everything they had lost had showed them everything they had. And now, upon coming back, everyone seemed to be realizing it.

“You are such a dad,” Clint said, putting down his fork.

“We would all be in chaos without me,” he responded. 

They chuckled. 

Steve spoke again, “I for one, and very grateful that we are all here together.”

Nick spoke, “Took mine.”

“That was so obvious,” Sam said, throwing up his hands. Steve shrugged then turned to look at Natasha. 

She cleared her throat and said, “I’m grateful for Wanda.” Wanda was next, saying, “I’m grateful for Natasha.” 

“Come on,” Carol said with a smirk.

Steve shoved Natasha’s arm. “Be more creative.” 

Carol was next to Wanda, she added, “I am grateful for Nick, who dragged me over here to be with you guys.” 

They went around the table, then the pie was served. 

Steve and Laura half cleaned up with the help of Natasha and Wanda. They all slowly migrated to the commonspace. 

Lila got out the decks of cards and Clint found a deck of Uno cards. Bucky mixed some drinks for them in the small mini bar off the kitchen. 

Natasha and Wanda stood in the kitchen.

“You all good?”

Wanda smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I might sneak off for a second. I just need a little bit.”

“That’s okay,” Natasha responded, then pushed her hair back from her face and gave her a soft kiss.

“I’ll be out here with the rest of the fools if you want to join us later.”

“Okay. Love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

“I am very grateful for you.”

“Likewise.”

Wanda was sitting out on the balcony now. It was off one of the rec rooms on the higher floors. She had completely forgotten about it until she had been wandering around the compound, trying to get away from the hubbub of people. 

Clint and Laura were trying to get their kids to bed, and they were loud, so her room was a no-go. Steve locked the gym if no one was using it–and only like three people had the key–but that didn’t matter because it was still locked. 

The kitchen, dining room, and generally all the main rooms were filled with drunken laughter and conversation. Too much. The meal itself was almost too much.

She didn’t know why she felt this way.

She wanted to be out there with them. But she felt so overwhelmed. Like she had to calculate each breath and movement. Like everyone was watching her. People expecting her to say something. And there were the movements and breaths of other people too. She was so conscious of them. Hyperawareness plagued her in every social situation she had been in. After looking in and out of a couple random rooms–a smaller gym, another common room, maybe a guest bedroom, a storage room–she found a guest bedroom with a balcony. 

So she sat outside on the balcony. 

The air was nice. It was cool enough to be refreshing but not too cold. She reclined in the chair and kicked her feet up on the table in the middle of the two chairs. 

She took steady, even breaths. 

Suddenly, the sliding glass door opened behind her. She quickly took her feet off the table, sat straighter, and looked behind her. 

It must be Natasha. 

No, it was Laura.

She walked around the balcony and hovered over the other chair. “Hey, it’s just me.”

“Hi,” she said quietly. 

“This seat taken?”

“No, no. You’re good.”

Laura sat down and sunk into the chair. She looked over at Wanda and smiled. “Wanted to get away from the noise?”

“Something like that.”

“You know…Ever since coming back, I feel like I’m more sensitive to sound. Like it’s louder,” she paused and looked up at the night sky. “Maybe it’s all just a lot and the noise just adds more.” 

“Did Steve or Natasha send you up here? To talk to me? Or to check up on me?” Wanda said accusingly with her accent bleeding through her words. But it was half-hearted, she knew Laura wasn’t up to anything. 

“No, I came here of my own accord. Clint joined the others, I told him I was going to head to bed. No one knows I’m up here. We don’t have to talk. I just thought you would want some company. Or not, I can leave.” 

“No, it’s fine.” 

Laura met her eye. “Natasha actually told me not to talk to you.” 

Wanda tilted her head. “Really?”

Laura looked out at the compound’s lawn. “She thought that I would scare you or something. She’s real nervous about you and about others interacting with you.” 

Wanda shrugged and murmured, “Maybe she should be.”

“Yeah, but you’re your own person. You can do what you want. You can talk to whoever you want.” 

“What else did she say?”

Laura looked over at her. “That she wants you to feel better.”

“Aha, tell me something I don’t know.” 

A heavy silence fell between them. The breeze began to pick up slightly. In the silence, they could hear it whisper through the distant trees. Laura looked out at them and smiled vacantly. 

Wanda broke the silence, “I know she wants me to get back to normal–like she is. She is acting so normal about all this. She wants me to act like I didn’t lose five years. To act like nothing happened. But I can’t.” 

“I get it.” 

Wanda shrugged. She didn’t really believe her. 

Laura spoke, “I do. Clint just thinks I’m going to bounce back to who I was before. He thinks I’ll just go back to mothering our children like nothing happened.” She looked over at Wanda. Anger laced her words now as she spoke, “He wants me to help and support our children through this rough time, like I’m not going through a rough time, too.” 

She sat back in her chair, then met Laura’s eyes. “I can’t imagine what that’s like…having children during all of this.”

Laura relaxed into her own chair. “It’s not easy. But I love them. And they do help support me sometimes.” 

She looked away from Laura, out onto the lawn. There was a loud crash from downstairs. 

“I guess they are having fun,” Wanda noted. 

“Yeah.” 

“They always seem to be having fun.” 

Laura tutted and managed through a laugh, “They always try to find a way to party.” 

Something about Laura made her want to talk. More than she did with Natasha. “I wish I was down there with them. It’s just too much for me.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I feel like a different person now,” Wanda whispered. 

A silence fell between them again.

Laura began to say something then stopped then started again, “No, you are the same. Just maybe a little changed.”

“I feel completely changed.” 

Laura sat straight up and looked over at Wanda. “Would you say I’m completely changed?”

Wanda met her eyes. “Well, no.” 

“Why?” Laura pushed. 

“You’re still kind, you still carry authority, you’re still intelligent, you’re still strong, you still love Clint, you’re still an amazing mother.”

“Exactly, Wanda. You’re still kind, you still care, you’re still one of the nicest people I’ve met, you’re still gentle, you’re still strong, you still love Natasha and would do anything for her.” 

“I guess.”

“We change a lot throughout our lives. This was a big change. But we are still the same people at heart.” 

Wanda smiled. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

Laura smiled and laughed. She looked up at the sky, as if making a declaration to some god above. “I always am.”

Wanda laughed. “I’m sure Clint loves that.”

“Oh, he does.” 

She tilted her head. “Your children are a fan of that, too?”

Laura looked over at Wanda, once again. “Of course,” she said with a laugh. 

There was another crash from downstairs. 

Laura looked behind them, toward the sliding door. “I should probably go check on them. Want to come?”

“No, I’ll stay out here.”

“Don’t stay too late. Nat will freak out.” 

Wanda flashed her a smile and nodded. 

Laura opened the sliding door and walked out.

Wanda was left alone with her thoughts. She smiled to herself. A warmth settled in her chest. She felt a little lighter. Laura was right: she was still the same person. 

Chapter Text

Wanda woke up to Natasha shuffling around beside her. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, I–” she huffed. “The blankets fell off the bed.”

Wanda giggled. 

She threw a stray blanket at Wanda, and then a pillow. “Not my fault you wiggle all over the bed.” 

Wanda smirked and responded with her accent apparent, “Sorry.” 

Natasha laughed and kissed her. Wanda smiled against Natasha’s lips. She pressed herself into her. Their lips began to move in sync. Natasha slipped her tongue into Wanda’s mouth. The air between them warmed up significantly. Wanda pushed her lips into Natasha’s harder. 

Natasha slowly broke off the kiss. 

“Good Morning.” 

“Good Morning, моя сладость.” 

Natasha threw the blankets back over them properly. They snuggled together under the morning sun for a little longer, occasionally exchanging kisses, then Natasha began to complain that she was hungry. 

“What do you think they made for breakfast?”

“Hopefully something good.”

“It’s usually good if Steve or Laura is cooking.” 

They stumbled out of bed, Natasha put on one of Wanda’s hoodies over her tank top and pajama shorts. 

They had a quiet breakfast, some of them were rather hungover. A lot of coffee was served with eggs and bacon made by Steve, who never got even slightly drunk. Natasha was sure it was because of the Super Soldier Serum. 

Wanda, who for a change had some more energy than most of them, entertained the Barton kids with some mission stories about her and Clint as the rest of them complained about headaches. 

The Barton kids became pretty fond of the pool, so they went for a swim with Laura after everyone had breakfast.

The rest of them put on some shitty daytime movies and relaxed in the common room. Wanda sat half on Natasha’s lap. Natasha ran her fingers through her hair and idly made little braids in it.

Around noon, they all had leftovers from the previous day’s big meal for lunch. 

Sam spoke up around a mouthful of potatoes. “I think it all tastes better the second day.”

“Oh for sure,” Natasha responded. 

The others nodded in agreement. 

“Too bad there’s no more pie left,” Bucky said, looking at Sam.

Sam looked at him accusingly and slammed down his fork. “You were asking for it!” 

“I assure you, I did not ask for a pie and a half in my face!” 

Wanda leaned over to Natasha and whispered in her ear, “Wow, I missed a lot.” This didn’t upset her in the least, the last thing she wanted to do was hang out around a bunch of drunk loud men. 

Natasha grinned back at her. “So much.” 

Nick got a call and walked out. They idly chatted, while still stuffing their mouths with food. Nicky was soon to return saying, “Maria, Carol, and I gotta get out of here by one.” 

Wanda exhaled.

“Ah, alright,” Steve said with a hint of sadness. 

Togetherness was a good thing, especially now, even if it was overwhelming at times. Everyone could see that, even Wanda could see that. They were sad to see people go even if they had only even been there for a day. 

“I wish we didn’t have to. The world’s been beyond busy with everything,” Nick noted.

“And there is no one better equipped to deal with it than us,” Sam said with a smirk. Some of the others nodded and laughed. 

“We are beyond grateful for your guys’ help with everything. I know the Avengers have been through a lot, but you guys still showing up to help is amazing, really,” Maria noted. 

“You guys need to let me go on a mission to help you’d be even more grateful,” Natasha said. 

Nick shot her a look. “We are still going to wait a little bit, Natasha. We can talk about it later.”

“Ugh, whatever.” 

“We have enough people now, it’s alright,” Steve said with a sympathetic look toward her. 

“Yes, and everyone has been great.” 

Carol added, “And what you–well me too–did in the battle and everything too. I mean there were some losses, but it’s a calculated risk to save the world.” 

The table went quiet. 

They hadn’t really talked about the battle or the losses since the funeral, especially in a big group. Everything was too fresh and also not fresh enough. It was a point where they had to start moving on but everything was so recent that, for all of them, it felt weird to try. 

Wanda went rigid. She had no control over the emotion that was rising. Carol’s words had set off something deep inside her. Losing Vision was a ‘calculated risk’ to her? Losing Natasha was a ‘calculated risk’ to her? An anger that she didn’t know could be woken up or was even there was now filling her. It was overwhelming. 

“I mean, at least we are all here,” Carol said, trying to clear the silence. 

Wanda spoke before she thought, “A calculated risk?” The anger grew. 

“Wanda,” Steve said, half-warning. He could sense her emotion from miles away, as could Natasha. She looked at her and tried to meet her eye, but she didn’t, she stared at Carol. 

Wanda sat straight up. The anger grew. 

Carol looked at her, now sort of quizzically. She stated, “Yeah. There are always losses. It turned out, didn’t it?”
The whole table went now dead silent. 

The anger grew. It took over. Her entire body was filled with it, thrumming with powerful emotion. There was no calming down now. 

Something else awoke too. 

Her irises began to glow red. Red whispered in her palms. 

Wanda snapped back at her with a thick accent, “Are you serious?”

“Yes?” 

“Losing Vision was a calculated risk? Losing Natasha was a calculated risk?” she said, her eyes were now fully red. 

Before anyone knew what was happening, a beam of red exploded in her hands, rippling across the room throwing everyone’s seats away from the table. Some of the chairs falling over, people in them. 

And Carol was slammed into the far wall. 

Wanda slumped back in her chair and slapped her hands over her mouth. 

A stunned silence fell across the room. 

“Wanda?” Natasha said quietly, looking over at the woman.

Tears welled in her eyes, her hand clamped harder over her mouth, her chest heaved. “I–I’m sorry,” she managed to stutter out. 

They all looked at her then back to Carol.

“I’m so sorry,” Wanda again murmured, then got up and disappeared down the hallway. 

Their eyes followed her. 

Carol stood up from her position on the floor. “I’m fine.” They all looked over at her now. She gave a small wince as she walked over to the table. “Shit, I shouldn’t have said that.” 

“She shouldn’t have done that,” Sam responded with fervor, getting up off the ground. 

“She didn’t have any control over that, obviously. It was an accident,” Natasha growled, then followed Wanda down the hall. 

Natasha walked swiftly down the hall. “Wanda! Wanda, wait!” 

She watched as Wanda slammed the door shut with her powers. 

So they were back. 

This was a good thing. Maybe what happened wasn’t a good thing, but it was good they were back. She had wanted them back for so long. Sure this wasn’t the way she wanted them to come back, but still. 

The door wasn’t locked. Wanda didn’t actually want her not to come in. So she opened the door. Wanda was sitting on the bed, face red, tears now freely falling down her face. She looked like a wreck. Natasha hated when she looked like this. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi,” she said with a sniffle, looking up at her. 

“So that was fun.”

Wanda didn’t say anything in return. Natasha walked over to the bed and sat next to her, Carefully, she lifted her hand and brushed away some of Wanda’s tears. Her hands fell in Wanda’s lap and she grasped her hands softly. She gently brought Wanda’s hands up and pressed a soft kiss to the back of her right hand then gently set it back down in her lap. 

“How are you feeling?” 

She closed her eyes and slightly winced. Natasha could tell she was in pain. “Awful,” she chuckled wetly with snot and tears. 

Natasha smiled at her and squeezed her hand. “That wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know that they would come out.” 

Immediately Wanda threw back, “I should have been able to control myself.” Her voice was now clear, cutting, with a sharp edge. She closed her eyes, put her fingers up to them, and pressed hard.

“You didn’t know that was going to happen,” she responded calmly. She began stroking the back of Wanda’s hand. 

“I should have–”

“Wanda.” There was now a sternness in her voice. A firm hand would work here, not a gentle one. Natasha would have to state things, not just gently wait for her to accept something she said softly. Sometimes Wanda had to be gently handled, but sometimes she needed some hard truths. It was tough deciding when Natasha would give her what, but it had seemed to be working out for her most of the time, so she must have a good sense of when to do what. 

“What?” Wanda said, exasperated. 

“It wasn’t your fault. You had no idea that was going to happen. You didn’t mean to harm anyone.” 

“I still did, though,” she mumbled. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t mean to. You did not do that with malice.” 

Wanda shrugged her shoulders down and sighed dramatically. Natasha could feel the sides of her fighting, one side saying that she was an awful person and one side saying this was truly an accident. She hoped that the latter side would win.

“Say it,” Natasha said, now softness returned to her voice. 

“What?”

“That you didn’t mean to hurt her. It would help if you said it.”

“I didn’t…mean to hurt her,” she said quietly, her voice becoming muffled with tears and emotion again. She slightly winced. 

“Good. Now believe it.” 

“That’s hard.” She watched as a couple tears fell down Wanda’s cheek. 

Natasha squeezed Wanda’s hand, hard, as hard as she could without hurting her. Wanda squeezed back with an equal energy. She took a couple breaths, trying to stop the tears. Her eyes shut, and she pressed her fingers into her eyes again. 

“моя сладость, does your head hurt?”

She hummed in approval, eyes still closed. 

“Ah,” she said softly. “I can get you something. Maybe some water would help?”

“It’s okay. I just…I’m tired now.” Natasha kissed her gently on the forehead. Wanda leaned up against Natasha’s chest and closed her eyes. 

Natasha looked at her and smiled. Her witch was back, her powers were back. Not that her powers made her more or less, but now it was like she had all of her back. 

Then, Carol broke Natasha’s train of thought by hesitantly knocking on the door. “Wanda? Natasha?” 

They both looked up.

“What do you want?” Natasha questioned.

“To talk to Wanda.” 

“What do you want to say?”

“Something without the guard dog present,” she said, giving her a nod.

So Natasha huffed then sunk down further into the bed. She gave Wanda a pat on the shoulder and a light push.

Wanda walked over to the door, where Carol was standing. They both walked out into the hallway. Once the door was closed, Carol spoke softly, “Hey, listen. I’m alright, okay? Don’t worry about me.”
“I’m sorry,” Wanda whispered, meeting her eye. 

Carol really did feel bad. There was not significant pain inflicted on her, yet Wanda looked like a complete wreck. She sympathized with her though. Powers were hard to harness, as were emotions. She said to her, “Come on, I said I’m alright. I said don’t worry about me.”

Wanda gave a half smile. 

She relaxed her shoulders and met Wand’s green eyes. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for saying that. I didn’t think about it at all. I know we lost a lot–people close to us–and I didn’t mean to offend you.” 

“I didn’t mean to do that though, I’m sor–” 

Carol interrupted her and held out her hand, as she looked beyond Wanda and at the checkered tie blanket sitting on the bed. “I know you’re sorry. I forgive you.”

“I just–I…I didn’t mean to do that.”

Carol smiled at her brightly and met her eye again. “I know.” She wanted it to be cemented into Wanda’s brain, but she was sure it wasn’t going to be for a while. It was good she had Natasha there with her, Natasha was steady and true.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” 

Carol pressed her weight onto her left foot awkwardly and gave Wanda a smile. “And, uh, we have to get out of here soon. So I’ll see you around?”

Wanda smiled back at her with surprising genuineness. “Yeah, see you around.” 

Carol went back into the room with Wanda and said her goodbyes to Natasha. Wanda then watched as Carol disappeared down the hallway and joined the others. 

There could be many things being said in the dining room right now, but Natasha didn’t want to focus on that. She wanted to focus on Wanda. 

“She didn’t say anything else did she? I won’t have to fight her?” Natasha said with a chuckle.

Wanda spoke quietly but seriously. “No, she…she just said she’s alright and don’t worry.”

“Well, I know you won’t listen to that.” Natasha gently elbowed her.

Wanda let out a dry laugh.

Natasha spoke again without the teasing, “I want you to listen though. Don’t worry about this. About her. Everyone knows you didn’t mean to do that.” 

“I know. But what if it happens again?”

“You didn't even know you had your powers. This was a surprise. Now that you know you have them, you can control them and no more surprises.” 

“I guess.” She held out her palm and a ball of red appeared. It was there. Control was possible, she did it just now. And she knew that she could control them again and again in the future. It was just another part of her, they were a part of her, her powers. Even if they were destructive, she had a good harness on them, and she could have that again. Natasha was right. She extinguished the ball. 

Natasha smiled. “You get back to where you were before, you had control. And I know you can get to that level again.”

“Okay.” 

“Okay, good,” she said softly. She stroked her fingers over Wanda’s hand. “Do you need anything from me right now?”

“I’m exhausted.” Wanda flopped down on the bed from her previous sitting position. The magic in her was now more active, sh e could feel it. So she shot up a small ball of magic, just for testing, and smiled. Natasha stayed quiet and watched with a subtle glee growing in her. After repeating that a couple more times, she looked over at Natasha. 

“Nap?” Natasha suggested.

Wanda smiled. “Yeah.” 

Natasha flopped down next to her and they got under the covers. Soon, Wanda was lying on Natasha’s chest, arm wrapped around her abdomen, holding her as close as possible.

Natasha kissed the crown of her head. Red wisps of hair ghosted her lips. Her skin was sweet, like always, and her hair smelled like her shampoo.

“I love you, you know that?”

“Of course. I love you too, you know?” 

Wanda turned her head up to kiss Natasha’s lips. It started out slow, lazy, and gentle. After a few moments Wanda was shifting herself on top of Natasha and pressing her body into her, lips still connected. She went up for air for a second then kissed Natasha again with fervor, tongue slipping into her mouth. 

Natasha moaned into the kiss. She moved her lips in tandem with Wanda’s, using her right hand to push away Wanda’s long hair and her left on Wanda’s hip to pull her closer. She threw herself into it, showing her want and need for the other woman. 

Wanda broke off the kiss, sat on her knees and smiled, then she took off her shirt. Natasha moaned lightly again and murmured another ‘I love you’. She went back to kissing Natasha then they rolled over to their side so Wanda was no longer on top of her. Wanda worked her hand to Natasha’s waistband and unbuttoned her jeans; Natasha slipped her hand under Wanda’s pants. 

Afterwards, Wanda curled into Natasha’s side. Natasha combed her fingers through Wanda’s tangled hair, straightening it out slightly. Natasha mumbled out how beautiful Wanda was and how happy she was to have Wanda here with her. Wanada fell asleep quickly, as did Natasha after her. 

A couple of hours later, they both woke up. Wanda wiggled around which woke Natasha up which she pretended to be mad about for a few moments but then broke into a grin and kissed her. 

“What time is it?” Wanda murmured. 

“Almost four.” 

Wanda curled more into the blankets and into Natasha’s body. 

“I’m guessing you want to go out there and assess how everyone feels about my freak out?” Wanda said, accent thick in her words. 

“We don’t have to go out there if you don’t want to. I know it’s scary. I do want to see how they feel, unfortunately I think you might have scared them a bit.”

“I’m aware. I really didn’t want to.” 

She kissed the top of her head. “I know дорогая.” 

Wanda rolled over to look at the ceiling and spoke, “I think I can face them.”

“Good.”

“Just for a little bit.”

“That’s alright.” 

They shuffled out of bed. They put on some presentable clothes. Wanda walked into the bathroom to wash her face and brush through her hair. While Natasha pulled her hair into a low ponytail to get it out of the way. 

Natasha clasped onto Wanda’s hand tightly as they walked out to the common room. 

Upon walking into the dining room, all eyes were on them. Mostly everyone was sitting at the dining room table talking, with Lila and Bucky playing a game of cards. They all went silent. Natasha looked at Steve, Laura, and Clint standing next to the counter looking like they were fighting over an onion, but they quickly went silent when they noticed the others had too. 

Steve was the first to talk, “Wanda, want to help make dinner tonight?” 

Awkwardness still hung in the air. 

“Sure,” she said, with hesitance. Letting go of Natasha’s hand, she strode towards the kitchen. Laura gave her a concerned look which she replied to with a tight smile. Clint told her they were making a big salad and some more rolls to go with the Thanksgiving leftovers.

Wanda started chopping vegetables, and Clint stirred together some ranch from scratch. The rolls were buttered and put into the oven.

When everything was done and heated up, they set it up buffet style. 

They all sat down around the dinner table. Natasha’s hand stayed still on Wanda’s thigh throughout the whole meal. 

Wanda projected her thoughts into Natasha’s head. She was okay. She was dealing with it. She wasn’t going to freak out. 

Before, she did this a lot. She would send Natasha her thoughts. It took a while to train her powers to make sure she was only sending her what she wanted to. It also took a while to be subtle and quick so that her eyes didn’t glow red for long enough for people to notice. Luckily, Natasha trusted her and they practiced a lot together. It was helpful during fights and just everyday life. 

It was possible that she could see Natasha’s thoughts, but she hardly did unless Natasha explicitly asked. It felt like an invasion of privacy. 

The meal itself was mostly silent and awkward. There was only so much Steve could say and Bucky could half-respond to. Even the kids had picked up on the tension and didn’t speak very much. 

Wanda felt awkward throughout the whole thing. She knew everyone was somewhat scared of her powers, and more so now that she had been acting all emotional and strange. But now the fear in them probably grew. She hated that. But she had gotten used to it. 

Many people were scared of her and her powers. They had a reason in her mind. Her powers were dangerous and destructive at many points. She would probably be scared of her. So it made sense to her why people were scared. 

She had many sleepless nights over her powers and what people thought of them. But she had gotten used to people fearing her–of course before everything happened. Now she didn’t know how to act about it. She hoped that something would kick in at some point and she would be used to people being scared of her again. But for now, she just felt weird. 

She kept those thoughts to herself. 

Carol sat next to Wanda and flashed her a smile every now and then. Even if everyone felt weird about her, Carol, the one who she had actually hurt, was on her side somewhat. Which she took as a big positive. 

Once the meal was finished, Laura and Clint helped clean up. 

Natasha tried to convince Wanda to stay out in the common room with everyone saying quietly to her once everyone had left the table, “Please. I think it would be for the best.”

“Natasha, I just can't, I'm sorry. It is just too much for me right now.”

Natasha leaned against the dining table and looked at the Barton kids as they sat on the floor around the coffee table in the living room space. “I think they would feel better around you if you hung out here, you know?”

“I know. I’m sorry.” She looked exhausted, despite the nap earlier. Her thoughts were everywhere. The sudden awakening of her powers took it out of her. The emotions she had also tired her. 

“Okay,  душа моя. I’ll come to the room later for bed, alright?” 

Wanda  smiled at her and said, “Alright.” 

Before she could leave Natasha told her, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she was quick to respond.

Wanda silently walked down the hallway, and Natasha listened as she shut the door to their room. 

She herself was scared of the conversations that Wanda’s outburst had elicited, or had already elicited. Many people were already scared of her powers, especially after Ultron, and this definitely didn’t help. And she knew that they would be talking to her about it because she was close to Wanda. 

But still, Natasha turned around to face the music.

Chapter Text

The boys were all sitting on the couch. Laura was sitting at the dining table with the kids and a plate of cookies sat in front of them. 

Natasha sat on the loveseat which was closest to her. The TV was on, filling the awkward silence. Eventually, she heard Laura shuffle the kids out of the room and tell them they could watch a movie or two in their own room and then go to bed. 

Natasha briefly thought that it was so they could talk about Wanda without the kids there. 

But the conversation still hadn’t started, even after they left the room. So she watched the television, eyes flickering over to Steve every couple of minutes. She could feel her body start to tense up. She could hardly pay attention to whatever was on because her mind was too full of thoughts like: would they even say anything about it or would they say that she needed to be put away. Tension was building stronger within her. Now she was thinking that they were really mad at Wanda which was why they didn’t say anything Or maybe they were mad at Natasha for not keeping her under control. 

Sam cleared this throat. Her train of thoughts stopped. 

The tension in her burst. “What?” she snapped. 

He turned to look at her. “What?” he responded with.

“Can we talk about the elephant in the room?” 

“I thought you wouldn’t want to,” Sam said back to her. 

“Well now that you're all making it weird I think we should,” she said firmly. 

“We aren’t making it weird.” 

“None of you have said a word since I walked in.” Her voice was deadpan and completely serious. She wanted to know what they really thought. It obviously couldn’t be good because they were acting like this. 

Sam spoke up, “Fine. Her powers are a little scary sometimes, Natasha.” 

“Happy now?” Bucky asked. 

“Yes, and I know that. But we don’t need to get all weird about it.” 

Sam was quick to respond, “She’s a loose cannon! Of course it’s going to be weird and tense. She could shoot off at us at any moment.” 

A slight anger grew within her. Oddly enough, she wished for Wanda to be there with her. Wanda gave her a lot of strength and always told her to be patient. She needed that right now. 

Banner added, “She’s been depressed and angry for weeks, we can’t ignore that. Now that her powers are here she poses a little bit of a threat, right? ”

“No. She has control over them.”

Bucky spoke, “She’s too emotional now.” 

Now that really made her angry. “She is not too emotional.” She let silence fill the room, let her words hang in the air for a few seconds before she spoke again, “She is not. And she has been feeling better, she’s been working out with us and–” 

Bucky stated, “She still doesn’t talk to us.”

 “You’re calling her a loose cannon, how do you think that makes her feel?” 

“Nat–” Steve tried. 

“She’s just overwhelmed. We all are. ”

Sam threw back, “She is trying to hurt us!” 

 Natasha exploded, “She is not trying to hurt you! And this is the only time this has ever happened.” The tension and the anger had come to a head. She felt like she just got shot. Of course Wanda was not trying to hurt them. There was no way they could ever really think that, right? The display at lunch just must have given them a good scare. That had to be it. She had to pray that they didn’t really think that.

“Do you not remember after Ultron when she threw me on the ground, in grief over…well everything?” Clint said quietly. 

Natasha looked at him sadly–the previous anger now dissipated into sadness. She thought Clint would be on her side. Wanda wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, nor would she in the future. She was sure Clint would understand that. 

She spoke with some hesitation, “I do remember that. But she has control over her powers. Back then she didn’t. They were still new to her. But you all know she is capable of controlling them.”

Sam was quick to respond, “She just got back from being blipped, that probably had an effect on this so-called control.” 

She knew Wanda could get control back. And they should know that too. They watched as she got control back after Ultron. They doubted her so much now–and back then–but why? Was there really a reason or was it just fear that she would hurt them?

Natasha immediately whipped her head over to Sam. “Fuck you.”

“Natasha,” Clint admonished. 

“Seriously?” Sam said. 

She was done. There was no way that Wanda would ever try to hurt them. And they had so much doubt in Wanda. “No. Fuck you. Fuck all of you. She is having a hard enough time after having to kill a friend, then watch him get killed again, lose five years of her life, then think she lost her lover. And now you want to act like she’s some violent monster who is going to decimate all of you. Yeah, that is helping.” 

“We aren’t saying that.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“That her emotions are running high, which affects her powers, which could end up hurting us. Like for example, when she threw someone into a wall earlier and knocked like half of us over.” 

While Natasha was out in the common room, Wanda was in their room. Immediately after dinner she had retreated. She was in the small room off of the main bedroom which housed two bookshelves and two green plush chairs; she decided on staring off into space. A good pastime. 

Laura gently knocked on the door of the room and cracked it open. 

“Hey.”

“Oh, hi.” 

Laura gave her a gentle smile but then turned serious as she spoke. “Can we talk? Can I come in?”

“Sure.” 

Laura closed the door lightly and walked into the room. Upon walking in she noted, “I just got the kids set up with a movie so they shouldn’t bother us.”

“Alright.”

She had never been in this room before, she was sure only two people had, considering how private those two people were. It was actually very homey, polaroids and other pictures on the wall above the dressers, about a million blankets on the bed, a little side room with books overflowing on the shelves, along with a messy stack of books on the nightstand with other random little things. 

She walked through it and into the sideroom that Wanda was sitting in; there were two chairs, and on the left one Wanda was sitting cross legged. She sat in the one on the right and faced her then spoke, “I just wanted to…check in on you. I guess.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Everything's weird right now.” 

Wanda looked down at her fingers and fiddled with a silver ring. “Yeah.”

“And everyone is weird right now, too. If they are mad at you, it’s on them, not you. Accidents happen with everything, and, with your powers, accidents are scary. You obviously did not mean to hurt her, anyone can see that.” 

“Yeah, I just still feel bad about it. I don’t think anything is going to change that.” 

“I understand. I’m not trying to get you to get over it or forget. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t wallowing in sadness.” 

Wanda let out a quiet laugh. “I’m not, I think.” 

“Good. Listen, I know Clint is a little…scared. Your powers are…”

“Scary?” Wanda supplied. 

“Yes. But that’s their own fears. It doesn’t reflect on you. And I believe wholeheartedly that Clint knows that you would never hurt someone on purpose.”
“I know. He trusts me a lot.” 

“You earned it. You are an amazing person.” 

“Thank you. Thank you for checking in on me and everything.” 

“Of course, Wanda. I don’t know much about you. I feel like we haven’t really talked too much before. But now…I care a lot about you.” 

“I care a lot about you, too, Laura.” 

She smiled and stood up. “Come here.”

Wanda stood up and hugged her. They embraced for a while before Laura finally let go. 

Laura told her she was off to bed and suggested that Wanda do the same. 

In the common room, Natasha had finally convinced them mostly that Wanda wasn’t going to go around hurting people. After the initial fear they had come around. So she got up off the couch, turned on her heel and walked down the hallway toward their room. 

Her mind was full to the brim of thoughts. She suspected that many members of the team were scared of Wanda to an extent, she was very scared when she first met her, but she grew out of it. The others obviously had not. She wished there was a way to show them that Wanda was not dangerous.

Clint caught up to her in the hallway before she had gotten to their room. 

“Listen, you know I don’t think that she would hurt us on purpose.” 

She thought back to what he had said in the living room. “You got a funny way of showing it.” 

“Her powers are like insane.” She shot him with a mean look. “Not in a bad way, but in a powerful and weird way that we don’t all understand. That scares us.” 

“I get it. She could hurt you. But she won’t.” 

“I know that. I wanted you to know that I know she would not hurt us on purpose. That doesn’t mean her powers can’t get out of control. But I trust her. ”

“Then try to sell the rest of them.” 

“I will try as hard as I can.”

“Thank you.”
“Everything’s gonna turn out alright, Nat.” He patted her shoulder gently. “Go with her now, she needs it.” 

Natasha walked into their bedroom. It was empty. She then heard the water running in the bathroom. When she walked in, Wanda was standing in front of the sink, brushing her teeth in one of Natasha’s oversized pajama sets. 

Wanda spoke with a mouthful of toothpaste, “Oh, hi.” 

Natasha smiled. “Hey.” 

She spit into the sink then turned around to face her. “How’s it going?”
“Good.” 

“Good.”

Natasha pressed a gentle kiss to her slightly toothpaste covered lips. “They aren’t super afraid of you anymore. I talked them down. But you really did give them all a scare there. I think they all thought you were just hiding your powers and charging them up for some large attack when you got mad at us or something.”

“Oh, I am. Don’t piss me off,” Wanda said with a smile. 

“I’m so scared,” Natasha said flatly. 

“That’s good though. I don’t want them to be scared of me.”

Natasha turned dead serious. “They shouldn’t be.”

“Natalia, come on, I get it. People are scared of my powers. It’s been a thing.” 

“Okay, okay.”

Wanda hesitated then said, “I talked to Laura a little bit. She wanted to check on me. She just left to tuck in the kids, so I figured maybe I should get to bed, too.” 

“Good.” Natasha smiled. “She’s good.” 

“She is…She’s like…”

Natasha lifted her hand up and brushed a curl of hair on Wanda’s face. “A mother?”

“Exactly.” Wanda cracked a smile. 

Natasha brushed her teeth and changed into pajamas. Soon they were laying in bed. Wanda’s breath was warm against Natasha’s face. There was a gentle breeze outside they could slightly hear. It felt peaceful, for once in a while. 

“Do you think they are still here?” Wanda whispered. 

“Yeah, of course.”

Wanda lifted her hand and a small red ball appeared, it grew, and then it turned into a ball of sparks. Then she lifted her hand up and they flew to the ceiling. It looked like there were dozens of little red stars there. She had done this before. 

They both enjoyed looking at the twinkling fake stars. 

“I told you they would be back,” Natasha said with a smile. 

Wanda looked at her and murmured, “I don’t think I fully believed you.” 

“All well, I’m always right, you know.”

She rolled over and looked up at the twinkling red sparks. “Funny. I wonder when it’s my turn to be always right.” 

They laid in silence for a little bit.

“So they are leaving tomorrow.”

“It’s too bad. I’m really coming to like Laura.” 

“It’s not too much for you? I would have thought you would have been relieved.”

Wanda thought for a little bit then voiced, “I am. It is a lot. But I missed Clint a lot, and now that I know Laura I really enjoy her. And their kids, they are a lot but it’s nice…Kids are nice.”

“They are.” 

An awkward silence was hung between them. The red stars sparkled on the ceiling. Wanda shifted slightly closer to Natasha, cuddling into her body further. 

Then Natasha spoke, “What are you thinking?”

Wanda smiled and returned with, “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking…talk about this later?”

“Later,” Wanda confirmed. 

Natasha kissed the top of her head and murmured ‘later’ into her red hair. Wanda smiled against Natasha’s chest. Soon after, they fell asleep. 

In the morning, they woke up to a cacophony of voices outside their room, no doubt the Bartons trying to get everything in order.  

They laid in silence for a while, listening to them bustle around in their rooms and the hallway. Eventually there was a light knock on the door. 

Natasha shuffled out of the bed, pulled a hoodie on, and opened up the door to Laura. 

“Hi, we’re going to eat breakfast then leave. Want to join us?”

Natasha agreed. Her and Wanda quickly got ready then met them out in the dining room. Natasha kept hold of Wanda’s hand as they sat down and ate. 

“So Steve, you’re holding down the Avengers fort here?” Clint asked.

Steve quickly looked at Bucky then looked back at Clint. “Yeah. Nick and I are making sure we all stay in contact and are ready if something happens, god forbid.” 

“Yep, Steve is always making sure we can jump into action,” Natasha said. She had been still going over the mission files and had been privy to his conversations with Nick about the future of the Avengers. For now it was just that they all had to be in contact and, if they wanted to, be ready just in case of something.

Laura looked at Clint. He rolled her eyes at her. “And I am ready for when something happens, too. You can call me.” 

“Clint–” Laura began. 

“No. I still want to help if I can. My family is first, but if you need me, I will come.”

An awkward silence filled the room. 

Steve filled it, “Well, thank you, Clint. We will only call you if we really need you. We understand that a family always comes first, especially now.” 

“Yes, it does,” Laura said. 

“So where are the kids going to go to school now?” Steve inquired. 

The Barton kids then began an animated conversation about their school and going back to it and all of their friends. Wanda smiled and added things as they went. Natasha squeezed her hand under the table hard. 

Eventually it was time to leave. Laura had grabbed their bags from the rooms, and Natasha was giving tight hugs to the kids and promising that she would come visit soon. Wanda was surprised by how the kids did the same to her, hugging and begging that she would come visit. Of course she laughed and said she would come too. 

On the landing pad, Laura gave Wanda a long extended hug, as did Clint to Natasha. And then they were off. 

Soon after they left, Bruce took a Quinjet off to where he said he was going to go. They wished him luck and told him to keep in touch. 

They all returned to the living room, where Steve suggested they go work out. So Steve, Wanda, and Natasha all headed downstairs to the gym. 

Wanda asked if she could start training her powers. Steve agreed and began to give her simple commands of what to do and tested her boundaries. And soon objects were flying around the room. And then she sent Natasha flying around the room, fully on purpose, which scared the crap out of Natasha. Wanda laughed and said oops with a faux innocence. 

It seemed like her powers were boundaryless mostly like they were before. Before long she was sending herself into the air.

Steve put a stop to that saying she could fly around outside later. 

After the impromptu magic lessons, they went through the usual workout routine. They went back up to their rooms where Wanda and Natasha took a shower. Wanda complained of a headache. Natasha made her drink a whole bunch of water and told her it was probably her powers just warming up again after being dormant. They then curled up on the bed and read until it was time for lunch.

The next day, in the afternoon, Natasha and her walked down to the water again. Wanda flew around the trees and Natasha gazed at her with a loving smile and gave her a kiss every time she flew back down to the earth. 

Once she returned to the earth for good, she worked to manipulate the water. She threw it up into shapes and tornados. 

It felt good, having them back. They truly were a part of her, and she hadn’t realized how much they were until she didn’t have them anymore. Now all she wanted to do was use them and do anything she could with them. 

Natasha eventually got tired of watching her turn water into weird red shapes and suggested they go inside. 

Inside, Wanda said her head didn’t hurt as bad as it did the previous days, they put away some laundry, and then read sitting up against the headboard on the bed. Steve knocked on the door for dinner after a few hours. 

Wanda nodded at Natasha and gave her a chaste kiss. They both got up and joined everyone for dinner. On the table were lamb chops and a giant pot full of mashed potatoes.  

After dinner, Wanda and Natasha agreed to a game night. 

Sam insisted that they all play Clue. So they all arranged themselves around the table and set everything up. Natasha was Miss Scarlett, Steve was Mr. Green, Wanda was Professor Plum, Bucky was Colonel Mustard, and Sam ended up being Mrs. White, which he wasn’t too happy about. 

Wanda projected her thoughts into Natasha’s head. They took this advantage in stride and Natasha ended up winning. No one had caught on to them. They had done this all the time before and no one had then either. Even though they were pretty obnoxious about it, giving each other little grins as the game went along. 

An hour later the game was done and Wanda was practically falling asleep on top of Natasha. She walked her back to the room and said goodnight to everyone on her behalf. In bed, Wanda mumbled something like ‘I love you’ and quickly drifted off to sleep. 

In the morning, Wanda was quicker to get up than usual, which made Natasha happy. There was progress, she actually wanted to get out of bed today. 

Wanda and Steve went down to the gym while Natasha took a call with Maria in Steve’s office. She sat down and listened to her go on and on about missions and safety and making sure that she was ready if she really wanted to go on a mission. After a half hour, she still wasn’t convinced, but she was a little bit closer. 

Natasha didn’t feel the overwhelming urge to help and go on missions like she did before, but she still wanted to help. She wanted to do something. 

She asked about Yelena. She tried to stay calm when she told her that they still hadn’t located her but they were trying. 

Maria moved the topic quickly back to the missions. She told her the last one they’d been on and also that Sam and Bucky would be leaving this afternoon for another political figure still missing. She told her how much Sam had been helping and that he was really doing a lot of work. 

As she talked, Natasha grew to miss Wanda. She felt like she had been with her constantly for the past couple of days, and now it felt like Maria was holding her hostage away from her. Of course this wasn’t true. She just had this feeling constantly that she had to be by her. And, oh, she was feeling it now. 

After what seemed like an eternity later, Maria said her goodbyes, and Natasha told her to say hi to everyone for her. As soon as the phone was hung up, Natasha rushed down to the gym room to join Steve and Wanda. 

The next morning, Natasha sat at the bar as Wanda made breakfast. She threw globs of batter onto the giant skillet. Then she put the formed pancake onto a plate using her powers. On occasion, she grabbed a paper towel to wipe off the batter she accidentally dripped onto the counter. 

This morning, she had insisted on making breakfast. She said she was feeling more herself since talking to Laura and since her powers came back. Yes, her exhaustion was still there in full force, and a vague sadness still hovered over her. But things felt better. The sadness was more vague. The exhaustion was lessening with the nights spent curled up into Natasha’s body. 

Chapter Text

They sat around the table and ate Wanda’s pancakes with coffee. Natasha talked about her conversation with Nick.

“I think it is good they are holding you back, дорогая. Maybe you aren’t ready.”

Natasha huffed. “I am, though.” 

“Romanoff, he will give you the okay soon,” Steve told her. 

“You keep saying that.” 

“Yes, I do because he will,” he reassured. 

Natasha took a few more bites of her pancakes. Then she looked up and shot Steve a sly smile. “So how’s Bucky?” 

Steve smiled and almost maybe blushed. “He’s good.” 

Wanda spoke up, “That’s good. You guys are really serious?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m so happy for you, for real. I thought Captain America would never find true love.” She looked at him. “Not because you’d have trouble finding prospects…more of a putting yourself out there problem.” 

“Hey, all those times you told me to put myself out there, I had Bucky. How does that feel now?” 

Natasha threw back, “Like maybe you can be trusted with secrets.”

Steve fauxed an angry look. “You didn’t trust me before?”

“I had my reservations,” she said with a shrug. 

Steve laughed at that and looked down at his empty plate. When he looked up Natasha was giving him a friendly smile. 

Wanda added, “Don’t worry, she doesn’t trust me either.” 

Natasha looked over at her. “Of course I do.” 

“Sure,” Wanda said, shooting Steve a mischievous look. 

“I’m a Russian spy, what did you expect?” Natasha replied with a shrug and a glance at Wanda. She gave her a small smile back. 

Then Wanda leaned over onto her shoulder. “You’re a very cute one though.” Natasha slightly blushed.

“I did not come out here to be the third wheel for you guys.” 

Natasha kissed the top of Wanda’s head and slung her arm around Wanda. “Too bad.” 

Steve leaned back in his chair and smiled. “If you would have told me many years ago that The Black Widow would be blushing like a schoolgirl over some compliments from her girlfriend, I would never have believed you.” 

“I’m a changed woman.” 

They chatted for a while longer then Steve cleared their plates. 

That afternoon, Wanda said she was going on a walk out to the water to work with her powers some more. Steve asked Wanda her so he could see her powers and how they were doing. She agreed.

Natasha declined the invitation that was extended to her. 

She wanted some alone time, some time away from Wanda, to just be with herself. She knew she was becoming overly clingy, and she needed to stop. Not that Wanda didn’t like it, but she was taught to be better than this–better than to cling onto others. 

She was already embarrassed for how she acted when Wanda disappeared and the subsequent years. Those five years were long and tortuous, the yearning, the wanting and then feeling guilty for it. But now she felt even worse about it. 

Maybe she never really left the Red Room. 

First, she cleaned up the kitchen from lunch. Then she went on to clean her and Wanda’s room. She flopped on the bed after, tired from the cleaning spree.

Staring up at the blank ceiling, she tried to just relax her mind and let it wander to whatever it wanted to. At that moment, she let herself decompress for a little bit. Her thoughts varied from Wanda and how badly she really did need her. She was trying to feel wholly herself after everything, while also balancing this newfound desperate need for Wanda. When she jumped, along with many realizations about herself, she had fully realized the extent of her feeling toward the other girl, that desperate need for her was scary but in a good way. 

And while she felt that desperation for her. And while she felt close to Wanda. She still felt somewhat of an emotional distance because of those five years. She was helping Wanda a lot with her emotions. But with her own emotions, it was hard to share them and try to settle them. Yes, Wanda had told her that she could talk to her about anything, she didn’t want to. The five years of loneliness had retrained her brain into not sharing anything. 

Then she allowed her thoughts to move to Yelena, then to Alexei and Melina, who she hadn’t thought about in a while. She pictured them hopefully happy somewhere in Russia, no doubt causing some chaos; she instilled that image in her mind so as to not think about any reality that would be negative. 

There were so many people to worry about. She had thrown herself off a cliff to save all of them. Her thoughts then turned to herself. She pondered who she was now after saving all those people, after bringing all of them back. 

Although she knew who she was still, there was a bit of a shift. She had saved people. She had done it. Her mind delved deeper into thoughts about her and who she was by herself and who she was with these people. 

She realized she hadn’t sat down and let herself think in a while. While there hadn’t been anything crazy going on after she came back nor had she been busy at all, it did feel like crazy things were going on, she did feel busy. It all felt like a lot, but in this moment, alone, she let herself just think, not anything else. 

Soon, she went to use the bathroom, when she was washing her hands, she stared at herself in the broad mirror above the sink. The mirror was clear as day, showing her every minute detail of herself. 

She looked into her own green-ish eyes and stared at the mole on her face. The green of her eyes was something she loved about herself. Her pale full lips sat on her face. The strands of red and blonde hair that framed her face. She didn’t love how it looked, the red roots and blonde ends. Wrinkles that formed when she made a face. She did appreciate those. The curve of her nose that was directed slightly down. She continued to stare into her face. 

She herself looked back at her. 

She looked and looked. 

She looked and looked. 

Something needed to change. 

Yes, she needed to see a change in herself outside. She felt a change in herself inside. After coming back, she felt different, and she wanted to see that when she looked in a mirror. It would make it more real, the change would be visible. 

She wanted that for herself; it was not for anyone else but her. This wasn’t about anyone else but her. It was her hair, the changes she had gone through, and who she was now. 

It was something she could do all for herself. Something to show herself who she was. 

She was someone who was desperately in love, who missed her family, who saved people, who was so many things. 

Quickly, she scrambled into her old room and into its bathroom. There she found what she was looking for, bleach and other hair dyeing supplies.

She grabbed the scissors from the kitchen and went back into her bathroom. Before she knew it, she was cutting her hair. Slowly, it got shorter and shorter until it was all up to chin length. It fell off in red and blonde clumps into the sink. Then the panic hit her. What was she doing? She didn’t even know. So she ignored the panic and cut it up even higher. Then she used what could have maybe been a barber’s technique to bring the front parts up to the middle of her ears. 

Eventually, it was to a point where she wanted it and it didn’t look horrible. She felt satisfied. 

So she began to dye it blonde. When she had to dye it blonde, she loved it. But everyone said that her trademark red hair needed to come back, so she grew out the red. But now, she decided to do what she wanted. She followed the box instructions to a tee like she had when she dyed it before. 

She looked back in the mirror. 

She herself looked back at her, now with changed hair. 

Upon that first glance she immediately loved it, even though it wasn’t really even done. Maybe it was just that she could see the change now, or maybe she just looked that good with blond short hair. Either way, she was happy with herself. It felt right. 

She hoped Wanda would like it too. Well she knew that she would because she had always supported her no matter what. 

She was in the shower, rinsing the dye out, when she heard the door open.

“Natasha?”

She called out from the shower. “I’ll be out in a minute!” 

“Why are you showering? We showered after working out.” 

“One minute!” she called out. 

In the bedroom, Wanda rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed. After a few minutes, she heard the water turn off and Natasha walked out wrapped in a towel.

Wanda looked up at her head. Her hair. 

It was dripping slightly–but she could tell Natasha tried to dry it–and was now all a bright blonde. And it was cut up very close to her neck. The front parts down to her ears and fading back to blend with the rest of her neck length hair. It was a messy job, no doubt, but it did look good. The hair was mostly even and blended well. 

“Do you like it?” Natasha said shyly. 

Her lover stood up off the bed and walked over to her. She cupped Natasha’s face in her hands. “Do you?”

Natasha smiled. “Yeah.”

“Good. I like it too,” Wanda said, then pressed a kiss to her lips. 

Natasha pulled away gently. “I need to re-dye it blonde again in a couple of days so this isn’t the final look. And I was hoping you could look to see if I missed anything cutting it?”

“Yeah, of course.” 

Natasha sat down on the bed and Wanda went to work with a pair of scissors. There weren’t many problem areas, but Wanda worked to make sure it looked all cleaned up. 

“I love you, Natasha. No matter what.”

“I love you, too.” 

After, Natasha got dressed, then they both joined Steve in the main living room. Steve had a wide smile, gave her about a million compliments, and Natasha beamed under them even though she tried to hide it. 

It was almost time for dinner, and Wanda insisted on cooking again. Natasha and Steve sat at the table. Soon, Wanda had finished the meal, and they all sat around the table with spaghetti in front of them. Steve poured a glass of wine for Wanda and they got to eating. Natasha complimented her food over and over and told her how much she had missed her cooking. 

Steve questioned Natasha about her hair choices.

“I just wanted something different,” she replied, and she left it at that. She felt Wanda’s hand grasp hers under the table. She squeezed it gently. 

“I really do love it. Makes your face more prominent.” 

“Is that a good thing though?” Natasha asked with a laugh. She nervously tucked what she could of her hair behind her ears. 

“Of course it is. You have a beautiful face.” 

Natasha slightly blushed. “Thank you.” 

“You do have a good face,” Steve said with a smirk.

Natasha shook her head and smiled. “Thank you, too, Steve.” 

They continued to chat as they ate. Afterwards, Wanda and Natasha bid Steve goodnight and went back to their room. They snuggled into bed and Wanda put on an episode of I Love Lucy. Once the episode was finished, she turned down the volume on the TV as it went to the next episode. 

“So what’s up with the hair? Really just wanted something different?” 

Natasha hesitated then said, “I just feel different after coming back. I wanted to look diffe rent too, I guess. Why?”

“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t having a crisis.”

“I’m not…I don’t think.” 

Wanda laughed. 

Natasha sobered up. “I just feel so different after everything, like you do, but I guess I am embracing it more. I just realized so many things about myself and how I feel after jumping off that cliff and coming back. And I want to embrace those things and what I found out about myself.” 

Wanda sat in silence for a minute then spoke, “Yeah. A lot happened to you, too. I guess I don’t think about it that much, I’m sorry. But you know you can always talk about it. I think I’ve been talking about myself a lot.” 

“It’s okay, моя сладость. A lot happened to you, too.” 

“Yeah, but I just left. You watched everyone leave. Then you brought them all back. I really am sorry you had to watch everyone go.” She paused. Natasha curled up close to her. Wanda continued. “I don’t know what I would have done.” 

Natasha grasped Wanda’s hand. “I didn’t know what to do, Wanda. I became such a mess. You were gone. I ran over and you had disappeared. I felt like I was falling apart–I felt like that for so long. Then at some point, I had to get to work trying to save everyone.” 

Wanda. Natasha ran through the forest. She had just watched like ten people turn into dust in front of her. Call her selfish, call her callous, but all she could think about was Wanda. Wanda couldn’t be able to turn into dust like that right? She was a witch. She had so much power. There was no way she was gone. 

It was an occupational hazard–dying. But she never thought it would really happen. Wanda was strong and powerful, Natasha trusted her with her life. If she didn’t, she would be barring Wanda from dangerous missions and fights. Maybe she should have. She should have never put her in danger ever. Because there was no way she could live without her. 

She ran and ran until she came across Steve who had rolled over Vision’s dead body. Wanda wasn’t there. But that’s where she was supposed to be, protecting Vision. 

Well there was a dead Vision, and no Wanda. 

Natasha staggered back and clutched her stomach in horror, shock, pain. She felt sick. Suddenly, she realized she was touching the vest Yelena gave her. Yelena. Melina. Alexi. 

And then she promptly threw up on the ground. 

Steve was behind her now, rubbing her back, muttering some reassurance. 

It somehow made it worse. She threw up again. All of the contents of her stomach were now emptied out on the roots of some tree. 

Her retching filled the silence of the forest. Steve had stopped talking and just rubbed her back for a few moments. She stood up and turned around to face him.

Where was Wanda? Wanda was supposed to protect Vision. She was supposed to be right here. And she wasn’t. There were at least a dozen people or more missing in action. What was happening? So many people had just left. They had all just disintegrated. 

“W–Where did they go?”  

He didn’t give her an answer. Her chest constricted. She fell down on the floor of the forest. The ground was hard. Maybe she just hit it hard. Soon, Steve was sitting right beside her. His face marked with disbelief and his breaths coming quickly. 

Rhodey spoke up, “What is this? What the hell is happening?” 

She could barely breathe. What was she going to do without Wanda? She tried to inhale but it staggered and stopped. Her chest jumped up and down. Who else was gone?

She tried to inhale again, but failed. Her chest jumped up and down again. She tried again, this time the breath went down. She inhaled again and again, trying to get as much air as she could, but only doing so every other breath. 

She needed Wanda to come back right now. Maybe they would come back soon, maybe they were gone for just a day or so. But, no, Natasha was smarter than that. Thanos had gotten rid of them. And there was no telling how to get them back. 

But she needed Wanda. 

Steve muttered out, “Oh god.” 

“Then, on Vormir, I had a chance to bring you all back. I just had to take it. And it was such a big decision. I had to do it. I had to bring you back. And now, I can…I can see how much I really do care about you. And how much I care about Yelena and my family and the whole world I guess.” 

Wanda turned her neck to directly face her. “You cared a lot before that,” she said firmly. 

Natasha avoided eye contact. “I couldn’t see it, then.” 

“I’m glad you can now.”
“Yeah, it only took jumping off a cliff on a different planet,” Natasha said with a laugh. 

“Yeah, well, I’m just happy you’re here.” 

Natasha then bored her eyes into Wanda’s. “I’m happy you’re here too.” 

She suddenly kissed Wanda hard on the mouth. 

Wanda responded in kind and pushed her lips fully into the other woman’s. Wanda began to take her shirt off, then she took off Natasha’s quickly after her own was thrown on the ground. Natasha began kissing her jaw, then her neck, then her chest, then her stomach, then lower, then lower. Wanda moaned under the kisses and whispered pleas. 

The next morning, they woke up in a warm cocoon, covered in blankets and sheets. Natasha lazily kissed Wanda on the cheek to wake her up. Wanda stirred slightly and then rolled over to lay on Natasha’s chest. 

“Good morning, Паучок .” 

“Good morning.” 

“What’s on the agenda for today?”

“The usual. Bucky and Sam come back this afternoon. Why? Do you want to do something more interesting?” 

Wanda rolled over and looked up at the ceiling then turned her face to look over at Natasha. “I need new clothes. Could we go shopping?”

Natasha was sort of shocked at Wanda’s request. She figured that Wanda was still a little off and that because of that she would want to stay in for as long as possible. “Y–yeah. We can.” 

Wanda smirked. “Nervous to take the new haircut out?”

“No,” she said firmly, but the corners of her lips were turning up. 

“Sure.” 

Soon after lunch, Natasha and Wanda had taken one of the trucks from the compound and were on their way into New York City. 

Natasha intertwined her fingers with Wanda’s over the center console. They talked idly as Natasha drove. Wanda’s anxiety increased as they drove. She hadn’t been, well, out anywhere since before everything happened. And even then she didn’t go out that much. 

But Wanda did need some new clothes. The ones she had were dated. And the Avengers had gotten rid of most of her winter clothes while she was gone. Along with that, Natasha stole a lot of her clothes which were now undoubtedly hers. 

And, Natasha’s birthday was coming up, so she wanted to have something nice. 

Natasha of course took note of this, once they got about an hour away, Wanda had gotten significantly quieter. “Are you sure you can do this?” 

“Yes. I need to.”

Natasha spoke firmly, “Wanda, you don’t need to if you aren’t up for it. We can just buy clothes online or go somewhere smaller.”

“I am up for it. I am just nervous,” she said, accent thick. 

“It’s okay. I will be there the whole time. And we can just hit a few stores then leave. We don’t need to spend too much time there.” 

“Okay.”

“And, Wanda, you really don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.”

“No, I enjoyed it before, with you, when I first came here. Remember?” She smiled in a way that you could hear it in her voice. “I had nothing, you took me shopping all the time for everything. Pajamas, shampoo, dresses for Tony’s events.” 

“Doesn’t mean you have to enjoy it now though.” 

“I will. If I’m with you. I only enjoyed those previous shopping trips because of you. I enjoy most things with you. I enjoy you a lot.” 

Natasha slightly blushed. Still after all of these years, sometimes Wanda said something that felt like someone just punched her heart, and Wanda didn’t even know that it had hit her. It was nice that Wanda could still surprise her in that way. She was so genuinely sweet to her a lot of the time and she didn’t even realize how much it meant to Natasha. “Thank you.”

“Steve was right. You blush like a schoolgirl.” 

Natasha gasped. “I don’t!” 

“Sure, дорогая.” 

About an hour later, they were finding a place to park. First they hit a couple of smaller stores. There Wanda found a few jackets and pants. 

Wanda felt a little overwhelmed after, so Natasha suggested coffee. Wanda agreed. She brought her to a smaller coffee shop that had some people in it but wasn’t crowded. 

Wanda ordered tea and Natasha got black coffee. 

Once they sat down, Wanda relaxed her shoulders and jaw and gave Natasha a genuine smile.

“I am enjoying this.” 

“You are just enjoying this because you made me try on that ridiculous shirt.” 

“It was not ridiculous, that was a real suggestion.”

“It was neon pink.” 

“So?” 

A giggle escaped Wanda, then Natasha was laughing along with her. Once the laughter died down, Wanda looked down into her tea and stirred it for a little bit. She steeled herself. She was here at this moment with Natasha. This was all real. Everything was good. The goodness was real. 

And it did feel real to her, the laughter, the hand holding, everything. She felt herself living in the moment and actually enjoying it. 

“Wanda?” 

“Yeah?”

 “I’ve wanted to ask you something, but I don’t want to scare you.” 

Wanda leaned in over the table. “That’s scary. Go on.” 

“We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.” 

“Now you’ve really got me intrigued.” 

Natahsa hesitated and fiddled around with her coffee cup; Wanda stayed silent and patient, waiting for her to talk. Natasha spoke after a few moments, “What if we…moved out…got a house together or something like that?”

 “I’d love that,” Wanda said without skipping a beat. 

“I’ve always wanted a home. A family. I want it with you.”

 “I want it with you too.”

 “Maybe we could build a house?”

 “That sounds a bit quixotic.”

 Natasha laughed and replied, “You’ve been reading too much.” Wanda laughed. 

“Probably. So what does this house look like?”  

Natasha went on to describe the house in her imagination. It was naturally in upstate New York, close to the compound, but far enough away to give them space. It had many many bedrooms and ensuites. 

Wanda added that there had to be a nice large kitchen. Natasha agreed. 

Natasha also mused about a garden and a barn. Wanda sort of got on board with that. Then they were talking about what plants to grow in the future farm. 

Both of them separately thought that this was the single best moment of their lives. This was it, planning a house, a life with the person they loved. 

Chapter Text

After the drinks were finished, they moved onto some more stores. Wanda found a few more items and Natasha had snagged a shirt or two. On Wanda’s request, they both bought nicer dresses for a night out on Natasha’s birthday that was coming up. They both agreed to a date night somewhere fancy. 

On the way back, Natasha talked about how much she missed Yelena and wanted to find her. And Wanda listened and reassured her that she would be found soon. 

When they got there, Wanda began to put everything away and organize the dressers and wardrobes with her powers. Shirts flew around the room in red clouds. Natasha sat back and watched with a smile. 

After only a few minutes Steve came into the room.

“Nat?”

She looked up at him. “Yeah.”

“There is someone on the intercom of the front gates here for you. I can’t see who it is, none of the cameras work anymore. No one’s had time to recharge them.”

She looked at Wanda, who shrugged. Natasha answered him with, “Let them in? But be careful?” 

“Okay.” 

“I’ll come down there.”

“I will too,” Wanda said abruptly. 

Once they were down on the entryway, Steve spoke into the intercom system. “Yeah, I’ll let you in. She’s down here with me. No funny business.” 

He pressed the button to open the gates. Natasha herself opened the front door. 

“Natasha?”

“Yelena?” 

Natasha ran over the threshold to her sister and wrapped her in a hug. Yelena likewise threw herself into Natasha’s body and squeezed her tight.

“I-I thought you were dead. I thought I would never find you.” 

“Oh my god, Yelena. I-I’ve been trying to look for you.” 

“I’ve been trying to look for you.” 

They released their embrace. Natasha looked at her fully, her hair was still long and blonde, she looked exhausted, there were Widow Bites on her wrists, and there was smudged eyeliner around her eyes. She was wearing a tight black zip up vest and black pants. 

“She–she told me you were dead. I saw it everywhere and I didn’t want to believe it. I asked everyone where you would be–they said dead. I looked everywhere–no–no one would help me.” Tears had formed in Yelena’s eyes and her voice was breaking.

Natasha went in to hug her again. “I’m sorry. I tried to look, I should have tried harder. There was so much going on and–” She inhaled sharply to keep herself from crying. 

“I thought you were dead,” Yelena repeated.

“I’m not. It’s okay. I’m here now.” 

They released their hug and Yelena stepped back to look at the room and to get a better look at Natasha.

Yelena tilted her head to the side in question. “Your hair?”

“I cut it.” Natasha subconsciously ran her hand through it.

“I can see that. It looks good.” 

Natasha smiled. 

Yelena looked over at the other occupants of the room. Captain America was standing next to a red haired woman who had to be Wanda. Natasha had mentioned her a few times before their fight with Dreykov but kept it short and sweet. 

The night settled around them. Crickets sounded around them. The kids were still playing off to the side near the garages. A car driving by lit up the faces of the family. Yelena spoke up, “They destroyed my birth certificate…so I reinvented it.” She pressed her beer bottle to her nose. “My parents still live in Ohio. My sister moved out west.” 

A smile was plastered onto Natasha’s face. “Is that right?” 

“You’re a science teacher,” Yelena said with a grin. She shrugged. “You’re working part time though, especially after you had your son.” 

Natasha smiled and looked off into the distance while nodding.

Yelena continued, “Your husband…he renovates houses.” 

Natasha rolled her head around to look at Yelena. She smiled, thinking about Wanda. Her bright green eyes. Yelena would love her. “You know, I–” She stopped herself quickly. What was she doing? She barely knew Yelena. They had just reunited. Sure she cared about her and well she was sort of her sister. But Wanda was private, Wanda was all hers. She was secret and special and something close to her heart. 

Yelena’s eyes lit up. “What?”

Natasha rolled her head back and avoided eye contact. “No, no, nevermind,” she muttered.

Yelena leaned in over the table, closer to Natasha. “No, tell meeeeeee.” 

“Ugh.”

“A husband? Do you have a husband?” Yelena leaned in closer. Yelena was overjoyed to question and tease her, the smile on her face gave it all away. Natasha missed it so much. She never realized how much.

“No,” she responded with a smirk. 

She stopped to think for a second then spoke up again, “A boyfriend?”

“No.”

She let go of her beer bottle and threw her hands up in a mock exasperation. “Then what. Why did you make that weird face?”

“I smiled?” Natasha said with a questioning look.

“Yeah, it’s weird of you.”

Natasha laughed and took a drink of her beer. She looked down at the table to avoid Yelena’s gleeful stare, the bottles, the plastic bags, the medical tape. Now that she had said something, she had to tell Yelena. She knew she wouldn’t let up. 

“You are avoiding the question.” 

Natasha opened her mouth, hesitated for a moment, and then said, “A girlfriend.”

Yelena leaned back in her chair and smiled widely. She looked genuinely pleased. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“How is she?”

Yelena swore that Natasha’s eyes were sparkling as she responded with, “She’s great.” 

“Good. That’s good.” Yelena smirked. 

Natasha’s face slightly fell then, after a moment of thought. Yelena frowned, she could tell her sister–well sort of–was upset now. This was a very stark contrast to her previous sparkly eyes when she had talked about her girlfriend. “She’s not in a good place right now.” 

“That’s not good.” 

Natasha sighed then took a drink of her beer. “Steve and I are trying to figure out how to get her out but…it’s complicated.” It was mainly Steve, he was the one with the ideas and the level head. 

“That has never stopped you.” 

Natasha shrugged. “Well…” 

Yelena made it sound so easy, like she could do anything, like she could just go and take her out. Which she could. But everything was so complicated and hard right now. She wanted her out so bad, but she had to make sure she wouldn’t turn around and both of them would be locked up.

“Where is she?”

“A prison in the middle of the ocean.”

“Oh, should be no problem for the big bad black widow and her superhero friends, though?” Again, Yelena made everything sound so easy. Natasha thought for a second. Maybe it was that easy. Yelena could be right.

Yelena spoke again, “So what's your plan? Take down the Red Room on Monday, break your girlfriend out of prison on Tuesday, and on Wednesday take over the world?” 

Natasha smiled. “Exactly.” 

Ever since those moments with Yelena, Natasha had missed her. She tried to remember every memory she could from their childhoods together and had ruminated over every conversation they had in that time. Those days of taking down the Red Room were scary, but she had Yelena, and she had found Melina and Alexei. 

Although she wasn’t as attached as Yelena was, she really did care about them. That time she had with them was precious to her. 

Natsha looked to Melina, Alexei, and Yelena–her family–and smiled. “You guys, go.” She threw her hands up. “Besides, if it can work out with the four of us, you know, there may be some hope for the Avengers.” She lifted her fingers up and pinched them. “A little bit.” 

“Yeah, Natasha has to go get to her girlfriend.” 

“Girlfriend?” Melina said with a quirked eyebrow.

“Yelena!” 

“What? I thought they would want to know.” 

“This girlfriend is serious?”

“Yes,” she responded with a nod. 

Alexei spoke up, “What’s her name?”

Natasha hesitated. Then Melina gave her a stern look.

“Wanda. Her name is Wanda.”

“Cool name.”

“I am happy for you, Natasha, that is a very good thing,” Melina said.

Natasha smiled and slightly blushed. “Thank you.”

Yelena began to take off her green vest. “Okay, well, if you are leaving us to go to her and your other friends, then I guess you should take this.” She pulled it off of her shoulders. “I know how much you like it.” 

Natasha took it. “Shucks. It does have a lot of pockets.”

“Very handy pockets, yeah.”

Natasha took out the vials of serum and handed them to Yelena. “He had widows implanted all over the world. Melina will need to copy the formula, but you should be the one to tell them it’s over.”
The sound of an engine whirring took up their attention. A small hovercraft of widows landed safely on the ground. Natasha smiled to herself. She had really done it. 

But then Natasha went with Steve to free them from The Raft, and Yelena didn’t see her again. Of course, Yelena herself was busy too so she didn’t blame her. But now all she wanted to do was turn back time and visit her more before she had disappeared. She didn’t want this to be the first time she met Wanda; she wanted to see her sister and know more about her life. 

“Hi, I’m Steve. Well you probably know that.” 

She walked over, past Natasha, to face him more directly. She said, “Hi. I’m Yelena, Natasha’s sister.” 

He stuck out his hand, and she shook it. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve only heard good things.” 

Yelena looked back at Natasha, who was smiling at her. She was in awe that Natasha had talked about her to the Avengers. She thought that Natasha was embarrassed by her. 

She looked at Wanda. “Hi.” 

“Hi, I’m Wanda.” 

“Yeah. I’ve only heard good things about you,” she said with a sly smile. 

Wanda looked past Yelena at Natasha, and the two lovers seemed to communicate something with their eyes. Then Wanda looked back at Yelena. “It’s so good to meet you. Natasha has been missing you a lot.” 

Yelena looked back at Natasha. “Awwww,” Yelena cooed at her. 

Natasha walked up to her and threw her arm around her and squeezed her tight. “Don’t let that go to your head now.” 

“Too late.” 

Steve cleared his throat. “Wanda, you wanted to watch that…movie right?”

Wanda looked over at him. “Oh yeah. That new one?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” 

“Yeah let’s go.” 

Wanda came up to Natasha and kissed her softly on the lips. “Spend some time with your sister, Паучок. I’ll see you later.”

“Alright.” Natasha kissed her once again. “Bye.” 

“Ew.” 

Wanda laughed and walked with Steve out to the living room. As she did, she heard Natasha say something about getting a drink. Wanda smiled to herself. 

They settled onto the couch and Steve flipped on some random thriller for them to watch.

“She’s happy.”

“She definitely is.” 

After a pause, Steve spoke again, “I’m happy Yelena’s here. I didn’t know if we were ever going to find her.” 

“I was, too. I kept telling her we would but…”

“It’s scary.”

Wanda sighed. “Everything is.” 

They watched the movie to its end and then they both headed off to bed. Natasha wasn’t in their room when Wanda entered it, but as Wanda was changing into pajamas in the bathroom, she heard the door creak open. 

Once she was done getting ready for bed, Wanda went back into the bedroom area. Natasha was sitting on the bed, she had changed into one of Wanda’s oversized shirts. 

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Natasha responded softly. 

“How are you?”

“I’m good. It’s good.”

Wanda sat down on the bed next to her. Natasha immediately went to hold her hand, but not before kissing it gently. Natasha then quietly said, “I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe any of it anymore.” 

“You deserve it.”

Natasha stayed quiet, letting the words sink in. They were true. But it was a hard thing to admit, that she deserved the goodness in her life. 

Wanda repeated, “You deserve it.” 

It was like Wanda could read her mind. Oh wait, she could. But she wasn’t right now. Wanda just knew her. She knew what she needed to hear. It was creepy. 

Natasha leaned over and relaxed onto Wanda’s body. Wanda immediately went to hold her and run her fingers down her back. 

“Let’s go to bed. It’s been a long day,” Wanda said. Natasha then noticed the bags under her eyes and the smile that didn’t look quite genuine. 

“Yeah, it has.” 

They both got under the covers and wiggled around a bit. Finally, Wanda laid on Natasha’s chest. She wrapped her arm around her, making sure that she stayed there. She let her fingers run through the long red locks. 

“So, she’s going to be staying for a little bit,” Natasha said. 

“That’s alright. She seems cool.” 

Natasha lightly laughed. “She is.” Natasha continued to stroke through Wanda’s hair. “She’s…well still trying to be an assassin I guess.” 

Wanda hummed in acknowledgement.

“She knows what she is trained for.” Natasha’s voice wavered as she spoke, giving it a twinge of uncertainty.

“You don’t like that?”

She stopped brushing through Wanda’s hair and stayed silent for a few seconds. Wanda waited for her to speak. She did, saying, “I think I just wish this wasn’t our lives. I wish we were just normal sisters who weren’t superheroes and assassins. I wish she could tell me that she’s trying to be a teacher or a nurse or something.” 

“Understandable.” 

“But she’s trying to do some good in that way she can. I hope she gets in with the right people and figures out what that really means for her.” 

“You don’t think she knows?”

Natash’s voice became more serious as she spoke, “I think everyone’s disoriented right now and it’s hard to see everything clearly.”

“You’re not wrong.” 

They stayed silent for a little bit, both of them thinking separate thoughts. Natasha murmured that they should go to bed, so Wanda used her powers to turn the bedside lamps off, and they fell asleep. 

In the morning, Natasha woke up to a face full of red hair, like usual. A new energy was with her now, Yelena was there with her. Yelena was alive. 

She was there in the next room, probably waiting for her to come in. Natasha finally had her sister back. Everything was actually falling into place, she felt like. Wanda was feeling better, Yelena was there, there wasn’t much else she could ask for. 

She gently woke Wanda up.

“Good Morning to you, too, дорогая. Why are you waking me up?” 

“Breakfast with everyone?”

Wanda smiled, remembering that Yelena was there. “Yeah, let’s get ready.” Once Natasha had gotten up off the bed, Wanda let her smile fade and let her thoughts drift to Pietro. She wanted him to come knocking. Of course, he wasn’t.

She took a breath and got up.

They both quickly got dressed and then went to go get Yelena. She was laying down on the bed, looking out into the morning sky. Natasha gave her some of her clothes to change into, so she changed. Then they were off to breakfast.

“It’s so cool here,” Yelena said, as they walked down the hallway toward the common room. “This place is huge.”

Wanda responded, “You haven’t seen half of it.” 

If she was being honest with everyone, Yelena scared her. It was just another person to interact with, which was scary. She did think she was great and obviously Natasha loved her. But she was a little spooked by another person there with them. Especially someone so close to Natasha, which made her feel like she felt like she had to impress her somehow. 

“I feel so cool. I’m in the Avengers Compound.”

“Yes, very cool of you,” Natasha said flatly. 

“Hey, not all of us are superhero millionaires who have two pools in our houses.” 

Natasha laughed. “I guess I just got used to it.” 

They entered the common room. Natasha introduced Yelena to Bucky and Sam, who were sitting at the dining table. Steve had already started making biscuits and gravy. 

Natasha poured her and Wanda some coffee, and they sat down. Yelena took a seat next to them with a glass of orange juice that she got from the fridge, which she insisted was the biggest fridge she had ever seen.

“So what do you guys do around here?” she asked. 

“We’ve been trying to work on helping people right now. Going on missions to find people, things like that,” Steve said. “Most of us have gone back to our families now, but we all are here, holding down the Avengers fort…even if we aren’t really the Avengers still.” 

“Cool.” 

Under the table, Natasha grabbed Wanda’s hand. Wanda smiled to herself and slowly sipped her coffee as Bucky and Steve explained how an Avengers mission worked usually to Yelena. 

Soon, the food was served. Yelena practically inhaled it. 

“Yelena, eat slower, Jesus Christ.”

She spoke with a mouth full of biscuits. “I’m sorry, cестра , I’m starving, and it’s good.” 

“I’m taking it as a compliment,” Steve said. 

Yelena laughed and continued to eat. 

“How was New York City yesterday guys?” 

“Ah, it was good. We did some good shopping for Wanda, got some good coffee. Despite everything, a lot of the stores are open,” Natasha explained. 

“That’s great,” Sam said.

“Yeah, it was fun,” Wanda said, turning to Natasha and smiling. Natasha, thinking of the conversation in the coffee shop and mostly forgetting the others were there, kissed Wanda gently on the cheek. 

Yelena interrupted. “Are they usually like this?” 

They all–minus Wanda and Natasha–laughed. “Yeah. They are. Fools in love,” Steve said, looking straight at Natasha. 

Natasha shot him a dirty look. “Hey. I thought we loved love around here,” she said. 

“Only on occasion,” Bucky said with a laugh.

“I never thought of my sister as the affectionate type.”

“I didn’t either,” Wanda mumbled. She really didn’t. 

Since coming back, she had become way more affectionate, but Wanda was not complaining, in fact, she loved it. She shared that thought with Natasha in case she had taken offense to her mumbling. 

“It’s nice,” Yelena said. 

“It is,” Wanda agreed with a smile. 

They ate in silence for a bit after that. Once Sam had cleared his plate, he gave his compliments to Steve then went to meet up with Fury about the mission briefing from the day previous. Bucky and Steve finished eating quickly after and went to join him. 

Natasha cleaned up the dishes as Wanda and Yelena sat at the dining room table, still talking. They were talking about her, knowing she was in earshot. 

“I’m telling you, she really did have blue hair.” 

“I feel like I’m having this grand realization that she likes to change her hair a lot,” Wanda replied. Yelena was really great. She felt comfortable around her. And she enjoyed talking about Natasha to someone who knew her like Yelena did. It was nice to have her, she thought. Some of the tension she had was leaving. 

“I think she does.” 

They chatted a little about hair. Natasha picked up when Wanda started to speak a bit quieter, like somehow Natasha still couldn’t hear her. “You know, her birthday is soon. We gotta do something.”

“Ooh. We definitely do.” 

“We have to plan when,” Wanda raised her voice, “she isn’t listening to us!” 

Yelena laughed.  

Wanda felt more relaxed. Yelena was kind to her and she wasn’t that scared of her. Of course, the change, the addition of a person somewhat overwhelmed her. But the person herself didn’t make her feel negative. 

Natasha walked over to the table, drying a plate in her hands with a gray dish towel. “It’s not my fault you guys are talking not even ten feet away from me.” She looked at Wanda with a joyful glint in her eye. 

Yelena looked at Wanda and conspiratorially said, “We have to later.”

Wanda nodded in agreement.

Natasha rolled her eyes and smiled to herself. A joy filled her that she hadn’t felt in forever. 

Chapter Text

Wanda and Yelena got along quickly. Wanda had hesitations at first and told Natasha she wasn’t sure if she could do it the second night Yelena was at the compound. There was so much going on in her head. Yes, she was happy that Yelena was there. But she could tell that it was making Natasha a little disoriented. 

And it reminded her that her own sibling would not come knocking on the door any time soon. That hurt. 

Natasha told her she didn’t really know how to feel either and that she wasn’t sure she could do it. So Wanda sucked it up and supported Natasha the best she could. She hung out with Yelena when Natasha seemed to not want to. She veered conversations in different directions when needed. 

Wanda could tell Natasha was struggling with it, but she put on a smile when Yelena was around. Wanda and Yelena got along well, which did make Natasha happy. Yelena made her laugh a lot, and Wanda talked to her about Natasha. She explained her powers and Yelena was in awe. She showed them to her, and she was very impressed. The second day she was there, she helped Natasha re-dye Wanda’s hair back to its natural brown and give it a small trim. 

Wanda had more hope in the friendship between them. Wanda and Yelena sat at the dining table, planning out the small part they planned on having for Natasha’s birthday in two days.

Tomorrow, December third, was Natasha’s real birthday. For that, Natasha had said she just wanted to relax. So she would have a low-key day and then her and Wanda would go out somewhere fancy that night.

The fourth was the party. They invited everyone that would come. Nick, Maria, Carol, Pepper, Rhodey, some other agents that Natasha had worked or were working with Nick, and some more random people that they knew. Wanda wanted it to just be a smaller group and insisted that everyone was busy with the state of the world, but Yelena pushed for everyone to come and no missions that day. Everyone had been more than willing to give up plans to come to Natasha’s birthday…but maybe that was just Yelena scaring them. 

“Okay, for decorations, I’ m thinking red streamers everywhere.”

“Decorations?”

“Every party needs decorations, Wanda.” 

She laughed and nodded along to Yelena’s red streamers and disco ball hanging.  

“Okay, everyone has said yes to coming, I’m going to go get the decorations, and all the food is ordered. I think we did well,” Yelena said. 

“I think we did too.” 

“I like you. Why didn’t Natasha introduce me to you earlier?” Yelena asked, leaning back in her chair with a smile on her lips. But Wanda could tell she was serious. Yelena probably had loads of questions to ask Natasha. But she knew that it was up to Natasha to tell her things. 

“She’s a private person.”

“That she is,” Yelena replied. 

At just that moment, Natasha and Steve came up from the gym from their workout. 

“Speak of the devil,” Yelena said. She didn’t fully understand the saying, but she had heard it before and thought it was really funny. 

She watched as Natasha walked over and slung her arms around her Wanda then laid her head on her shoulder. Yelena really did think they were cute together. 

“Were you talking about me?” 

Wanda laughed. “Maybe.” 

“Okay, well I have to go shower and I’ll be back out, so wrap up whatever secret plans you have for my birthday now.”

“We have them all wrapped.”

“Great, then.” 

She planted a kiss on Wanda's lips and walked down the hallway to their room. Yelena got up and double checked her decoration and supply list for the party. She told Wanda she was taking one of the cars out to buy stuff and she’d be back later. Wanda bid her goodbye and went down to her and Natasha’s bedroom. 

She was still showering, so Wanda put on an episode of I Love Lucy and waited for her to come out. When she was out of the shower, Wanda helped dry her hair and they watched a couple more episodes together. 

Steve came and got them for dinner. In the kitchen, Yelena had gotten back and was helping Steve cook. After dinner, Wanda wrapped herself up into Natasha’s body to sleep like usual. 

Wanda woke up still against Natasha’s body. Her breathing and heart rate was slow, her face looked content and happy. 

She stirred a little bit, mumbled something, and then her eyes were open.

“‘Morning, моя сладость.”

“Good morning. Happy birthday.” 

“Aww. Thanks,” she said sleepily, her eyes closing again. Natasha didn’t care much for birthdays. It’s not like the Red Room celebrated them. But Yelena liked celebrating when they were little, so she began to. Then she didn’t when she went back. Then The Avengers and Wanda liked celebrating, so she did. 

Wanda said softly, “It’s just a calm day today. We have dinner reservations later. The party is tomorrow.” 

“Tell me Yelena didn’t go overboard.” 

“She didn’t.” 

“I can’t decide if I trust that. You two seem like good partners in crime.” 

“I guess you’ll have to find out.” 

Natasha laughed. She kissed Wanda hard on the lips. Wanda reciprocated the sentiment and slipped her tongue inside of Natasha’s mouth. She climbed over the top of her, landing her knees on either side of Natasha’s hips. “Consider this your first birthday present.” Wanda kissed Natasha again, then began to kiss down her jaw and her neck. 

Afterwards, Natasha threw on one of Wanda’s hoodies. It was black and had a band written across the font that Natasha didn’t care to look at as she threw it on. She put on a pair of gray sweatpants. Wanda also got dressed, and they went out to the kitchen. 

There was a series of whoops and hollers and Happy Birthdays from Sam, Bucky, and Yelena as they walked out. They all sat around the table, eating Steve’s pancakes. 

At the table, Steve already had pancakes with a ton of whip cream on them at Natasha’s place setting. Natasha spooned off the whip cream and put it on Wanda’s. She didn’t like a lot of sweetness, but she knew how much Wanda did. 

They ate and Natasha told them all she didn’t want to do much today, just relax. Steve had told them all no work today or tomorrow to celebrate the birthday so today was a day for all of them to sit and relax. 

Sam and Bucky cleaned up breakfast. Natasha and Steve went to workout, Natasha had insisted upon it. Which left Yelena and Wanda to exchange stories about Natasha in the living room.

Yelena was elated about hearing everything about Natasha’s life since she had seen her last. She also wanted to know every detail about their relationship, but Wanda only shared so much. Yelena told her that Natasha’s secretiveness was rubbing off on her. 

Wanda was elated to hear about everything about Natasha when she was little. She wanted to know everything about Christmases and Birthdays. Everything she heard made her so happy. Natasha did have a childhood, even for that short amount of time. 

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Then it was time to get ready for their dinner reservation at seven. 

Yelena had found a fancy place in a nearby town. Wanda had originally wanted to go into New York City, but in the end, she didn’t want to deal with the driving and the action of the city. 

Around five, Wanda began getting ready in their room, and Natasha got ready in the room Yelena was staying in, which was her old room. Yelena insisted on them getting ready separately, so it was more special when they could reveal their outfits to each other. 

Wanda was wearing a new dress she had bought in New York City. It was tight and red. There were long sleeves and a turtle neck. It was cut up pretty high on her thigh. She had sheer black tights. 

Yelena helped her curl the ends of her hair and do some light makeup. 

Natasha wore a dress she had found when she moved into Wanda’s room when she had come back. She hadn’t worn it in forever, which was why she had forgotten about it. But when she moved all those clothes into their shared room, she took note of it and it had stayed in the back of her mind. The dress was simple and black with a wide square neckline. She added some makeup and waited for Yelena to tell her that Wanda was ready. 

A couple minutes later, Yelena burst in telling her that Wanda was ready and they needed to hurry up to make the reservation. 

Upon walking out into the entry room to leave, Natasha was captivated by her lover, as always. Her red dress clung to her body perfectly, and, well, red was really her color. 

“Stop staring at your girlfriend and get going, the reservation is at seven!” 

Wanda laughed. “She’s right, дорогая. Мы опоздаем.” She walked over and grabbed Natasha’s hand. Natasha gently pressed it to her lips then let their hands drop back down. 

Yelena looked over to Natasha. “She speaks Russian?” Natasha nodded back at her. 

Wanda supplied, “Да. Я из Соковии.” 

“You have really been holding out on us with her, Natasha.” 

“I’m quite the catch,” Wanda said with a smirk. 

Natasha smiled and kissed her softly. As she pulled away she said, “That you are.” 

“Ew. Ew. Get away from here. Go,” Yelena instructed. 

Wanda and Natasha laughed then headed out to the garage. They got into Natasha’s gray truck, where Wanda put in the directions to the restaurant on her phone. 

Natasha spent almost the entire drive complimenting Wanda. She felt like the luckiest woman alive to have her there with her. To which Wanda complimented her back and responded that they would have to do this more often. 

Once they got to the restaurant that was in a neighboring town, Natasha opened the door for Wanda and took her hand as they walked in. She slipped the truck keys into the small clutch that Wanda was holding. 

A waitress led them to a small table in front of a tall window. There was a white tablecloth over it with nice, clear glasses sitting on top of it. 

Natasha quickly ordered some wine and then they relaxed into their chairs. 

“Have I mentioned you look great?”

“Maybe a few times,” Wanda said with a laugh. 

“Good.”

“You look good too. The hair–it’s great.” 

Natasha slightly smiled. “That’s good,” she responded. “This is a nice place.”

“Yes, it is,” Wanda said. There were beautiful twinkling lights hanging from the ceiling. The floors were beautiful patterned deep dark wood. The walls were filled with tall windows and drapes. 

“So what do they have here?”

“I’ve no idea. Yelena picked it out,” Wanda informed her. 

“Oh. That’s a little scary.” 

“I think she has our best interests in mind.” 

“Hopefully.” 

They looked over the menus for a few minutes and when the waitress came over with the wine, they ordered. 

Wanda took a long slow sip of the deep red liquid once she had left. She nodded at Natasha as an affirmation that it was good. Natasha took a sip and nodded along. 

“You and Yelena seem good,” Natasha said.  

“Yeah. I like her a lot.” 

“Good. It’s not too much?”

“I was scared at first. I mean, that first day I did tell you I couldn’t do it.” She paused for a moment then continued, “But it’s okay. I’m getting used to it. People.” When she first came back, everything was so overwhelming, even the people trying to help her. Everything was just too much. And having people try to talk to her made it worse. It took her a while–and she is still working on–not getting overwhelmed by people socializing with her. 

Plus, Yelena was nice. She was intense. But she was very kind toward Wanda, a lot kinder and sweeter than she was to Sam, Bucky, or even Steve. And she meant so much to Natasha. There was no doubt. And Wanda wanted to make Natasha happy, so if that meant being friends with her sister, then she would have to make an effort. 

Natasha smiled. “That’s good.”  

“Yeah. She is really great. And I know how much she means to you.” 

“She is. I missed her.” 

“I could tell,” Wanda said with a laugh. “You deserve to have some time with her–a lot in fact if you want that.”

“Yeah. I don’t want it to seem like she’s taking time away from you though,” Natasha said, reaching over the table to grab Wanda’s hand. 

“ Паучок, it does not seem like that at all. I swear. You don’t have to spend every waking moment with me.”

“What if I want to though?”

“Now that’s a different story.” 

“Okay, good. Because I want to.”

“Some might say you’re clingy,” Wanda told her.

“Some might.” 

Soon, the food was brought to their table. They chatted and ate. Both of their meals were good and they took turns trying each other’s food. Wanda’s stomach slightly hurt, but she toughed it out for Natasha.

“This was a really good choice,” Natasha said, once her food was finished. 

“It was.”

“I really enjoyed this. We actually do have to do this again. But not just so you can get compliments from me.” 

Wanda laughed. “I want to talk about something though that hasn’t come up.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“A house in upstate New York with a big kitchen and lots of bedrooms.” 

“Oh. That.” Natasha smiled, “What about it?”

“Are you serious?” 

“As the star.” 

Wanda let out a dry laugh.

“Are you?” Natasha said in return. She leaned back in her chair and kept her eyes trained on Wanda’s 

“Very.”

“When?”

“Soon,” Wanda said. 

“How soon?”

“Well, if we want it in the near future and if we really want to build this house, we should start soon.”

Natasha exhaled heavily through her nose. “I want to start like right now. But I don’t want to rush you at all. And it just feels like a busy time right now, though.”

“I don’t feel rushed. I want to start like right now too. You think I want to stay in the compound with Steve for the rest of my life?” She paused then began to speak again, “But you’re right with your birthday celebration tomorrow, the holidays coming up, there will be things happening and people coming and going. It seems like a lot of hubbub.”

“After?”

Wanda smiled. “Yeah.” 

“Our New Year’s Resolution is to build a house.” 

“Sounds perfect.”   

They ordered some dessert to go, Natasha paid the bill, and they were off back to the compound. 

There, they ate the two slices of tiramisu in bed in their pajamas. Wanda loved her dress and how it made her look, but god did they make her uncomfortable. She hated formal wear and would much rather be in sweatpants all day. 

They ended the night kissing passionately and tangled in each other's bodies. Afterwards, they fell asleep quickly. 

The next morning, they slept in late. Wanda didn’t feel like getting out of bed, and Natasha was tired enough to not want to get out of bed either. They talked about the party and the holidays coming up. Around ten, they lazily got out of bed.

In the kitchen, Yelena and Bucky were having a passionate conversation about something that Wanda really didn’t have any care for. But they looked happy, and that made her happy. Then Natasha was handing her a cup of coffee and they sat down on the couch together. She leaned against Natasha, slowly sipping her up as she half listened to Yelena and Bucky at the dining room table. 

She felt sort of tired. She didn’t really want to talk. Her stomach sort of hurt. She sent that thought to Natasha. She nodded back and began to gently rub her back. 

Maybe it was the upcoming party which slightly unnerved her, but she would get through it for Natasha. She knew she could. A large part of her was feeling better now.

Maybe not presently, but in general. 

Steve sat down across from them and asked about how their date went. Natasha smiled widely and went into extreme detail about their food. A couple minutes in, Steve got a call from Fury and walked off into his office. 

Natasha got up to make something for them for breakfast. 

Her stomach was still hurting, so she declined breakfast and went back into her room. Natasha gave her a concerned look but nodded. Wanda sent Natasha the thought that her stomach did really hurt and she wasn’t trying to make an excuse. 

She listened as she walked down the hall to Natasha clicking on the stove and joining in Yelena and Bucky’s conversation. 

Natasha quickly whipped up some scrambled eggs and sat down with Yelena and Bucky. 

“You and Steve are together, right?” Yelena said flatly.

Bucky almost spit out his coffee. “Uh, yeah. How did you know?” 

“I can tell. It’s obvious.” 

“It is?”

Yelena nodded saying, “Да.”

“Yeah, a bit,” Natasha added. 

“Nearly as bad as моя сестра and Wanda,” Yelena noted.

“Hey!” She said through a mouthful of eggs. 

“I never knew моя сестра could act like this. I was shocked when you told me about her, and I’m even more shocked now that I’ve met her.” 

“Wanda definitely brings out a different side of her,” Bucky added.

Yelena turned to look at Bucky. “Should people not know about you guys? Is it a secret? I am sorry,” she said to him. 

“No, no. It’s not a secret. We just haven’t…told a lot of people.”

She turned to look at Natasha, who was mid egg bite, then back at Bucky. “Does Natasha know? Or did I accidentally just tell her?” 

“She knew. It’s alright.” 

“Okay, I will not tell anyone else unless you tell me I can. Sorry.”

Bucky waved her off. “It’s alright. You didn’t know.” 

“You guys are cute though.”

“They are,” Natasha agreed. 

“You and Wanda are cute too,” Bucky said with a smirk.

“Speaking of…I’m going to go check on her, she said her stomach was hurting.” She stood up and took her dishes to the kitchen and placed them gently inside the sink. 

“You can’t be away from her for more than five minutes.” 

“I can.”

“Stay out here with us then,” Yelena said.

She turned back around to them. “...No.” 

“Whatever. Go check on her.” 

She swiftly walked down the hallway and into their room. When she got there, Wanda wasn’t there but the bathroom door was closed. Natasha sat on the side of the bed and waited. 

Eventually, Wanda came out and sat on the bed next to her.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Wanda met her eye. “I’m fine. I started my period.” 

“Oh.” 

“First one since…” she trailed off. 

“Okay. Can I get you anything? Do you have everything you need?”

“Yeah, I do.” She reclined down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “It's weird. My body is going back to its normal processes. I don’t feel like I’m back to normal though, I don’t think I ever will. I think that’s okay though.” 

“Yeah that’s okay. No one is expecting you to go back to ‘normal’ right now. If there even is one. But obviously we’ve all been through a lot, and we aren’t exactly the same people. Lots of things change us. This has especially.” 

“Yeah. It’s weird.” 

“It is. But we live and learn and adapt.” 

Wanda hummed in acknowledgement. Natasha flopped down on the bed beside her. Wanda rolled over and curled herself into Natasha. 

“If you want to cuddle me, let’s lay on the pillows please.” 

“Alright.”

Natasha adjusted so her head was lying on the pillows, then Wanda curled up against Natasha once again. 

A couple of hours later, Yelena had come and got them to set up the decorations for Natasha’s party, not before mentioning how adorable they looked. Natasha threw a pillow at her. And then another one. 

She triple checked that Wanda was still up for it, then they went to unpackage some streamers and hang them.

Natasha told them it was her birthday, and she shouldn’t do the work. So Wanda took initiative and all the decorations were quickly put up in a burst of red light. Natasha reminded Wanda how much she loved her powers. 

Chapter Text

The rest of the day, Wanda helped Yelena set up in the rec room that was downstairs. Yelena had deemed it the party room. There were pool tables, darts, a mini bar off to the side in a bigger alcove, and a couple other things filling the room. Yelena set up some folding tables for the pizza to go on, and Wanda mentally prepared herself for the people coming over. She spent some time missing Pietro, wishing he was here to meet Yelena, wishing he was here to celebrate Natasha, wishing he was here. 

She welcomed Carol in with open arms when she arrived several hours early. About an hour before it was supposed to start, she helped Natasha get ready and zip up her dress then got into her own nice clothes. 

Before she knew it, the party was in full swing. 

Pepper had come in and hugged Natasha so hard, Wanda thought she was going to break her. Pepper hugged Wanda, too, but not with the same fervor. Since then, they had been engrossed in catching up. Wanda got that she was busy with Morgan and still trying to run Stark industries. 

Once she judged that mostly everyone had arrived, Wanda excused herself and decided to make herself a light drink at the small mini bar, trying to stay away from the main thoroughfare, like she had at Tony’s parties. She was always hiding behind a bar. 

She knew everyone would want to talk to Natasha, and she did love Natasha, but she did not love to talk to everyone, which is why she hung out behind the bar. The slight tiredness still lingered, her stomach hurt, and she still didn’t feel much like talking. She wasn’t going to try to push herself today, whether she actually should or not, it wasn’t gonna happen. 

Carol approached her quietly. Natasha leaned against the pool table, talking to several agents now and Pepper. 

“I’ll have what you’re having,” Carol said, sitting up on one of the barstools.

“It’s a lot of juice, not a lot of alcohol.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Whatever you say,” Wanda said, then began making a second drink. 

“How have things been going?”

“Good. And you?”

Carol smiled widely at her. “Busy. Good, though. I think everything is good now, after how bad that all was.”

Wanda thought for a second then responded with, “Yeah, I feel that way too.” 

“What have you been up to?”

“Not much. Training my powers, working out with Steve, hanging out with Natasha, you know.” 

“Ah, well, missions are hard. You aren’t missing out.” 

Wanda finished the drink and handed it over to Carol.  “What’s it like in space?”

“Space-y.”

Wanda laughed. 

Carol joined her and responded with, “It’s good. Very busy. I mean all the things you guys are doing times all the planets in the galaxy you know. A lot of restoration is going on.” 

She looked around the room, at the people, at the setting itself. She felt grateful now more than anything, when she thought about everything that had happened. “I can’t imagine. The earth is still such a mess.” 

“Every planet is.” 

Wanda responded, “Well, it's great you could still be here.”

“Of course, I can never miss a party. I do enjoy the holiday season more than most I think, even though I don’t love people.” Carol took a small sip of the drink. “You were right, this is a lot of juice.” 

Wanda smirked. “Yes it is.” 

Maria came up to them at the bar and stood by Carol’s seat.. “Well, well, well, what do we have here?” She wore a tight sleeveless black dress that cut off just above the knee. A silver necklace laid over it.

Wanda smiled. “Hi, Maria.”

“How’ve you been?” 

She shrugged as she sat down. “Good. Busy. You know.” 

“You look great,” Wanda added.

“Thank you.” Maria paused and glanced around the room before saying, “I feel like everyone is just using this as an excuse to dress up.” 

“We haven’t had an excuse in a while. I think we needed it,” Wanda said with a smile. 

“Indeed.” 

“Your girlfriend looks busy over there,” Carol said. 

She was right. Yelena stood next to her now, it looked like she was introducing her to the agents and to Pepper. She talked animatedly and smiled maybe a bit too much. Subtly, she looked over at Wanda and smiled; Wanda smiled back with a slight nod. Natasha whipped back around to her conversation. 

“Everyone wants to talk to the Black Widow now that she’s come back from the dead,” Maria said. 

“She’s a hot commodity.” 

“That’s what dying will do for you,” Maria responded. 

She looked over at Natasha, now Rhodey was there, shaking hands with Yelena. She beamed, as did Natasha. 

They chatted for a while longer at the bar. Then, she saw Natasha walk over to her, leaving the group of people behind, to talk amongst themselves. 

“How’d a nice girl like you end up working in a dump like this?” Natasha said, sitting at one of the barstools.

Wanda smirked. “I’m waiting for a chance with this girl. She’s got short blonde hair, blue-ish eyes. Have you seen her?” 

“I don’t think so,” Natasha replied. She leaned over the bar and gave Wanda a chaste kiss. “Make me something?”

“Like what?”

“Surprise me?” 

Wanda shook her head and complied. She had actually gotten quite comfortable behind a bar. At Tony’s parties, she was usually hiding behind it, trying to avoid people. But that turned into people asking her to make drinks and she had to learn quickly how to. 

The women watched her wordlessly. She avoided eye contact and focused on the task at hand. Eventually, she poured a red liquid inside a martini glass, threw a cherry in it, and slid it over to Natasha. 

“Thank you, дорогая.” 

“My pleasure.”

Natasha took a small sip and hummed. She briefly heard the sound of pool balls all hitting each other and a dart whizzing through the air. Maria spoke up, “How has the land of the living been treating you?”

“Great. Things are going well.” Natasha looked up at Wanda and smiled.

“You two seem more obnoxious than before. Maybe I’m just noticing it more now,” Maria said. 

Suddenly, Steve appeared behind Natasha. “You’re right, they are. But I guess it’s okay,” he said. He had on a crisp white shirt and a stupid grin. Wanda could hear Sam’s laugh in the background and the noise of two pool balls colliding. 

“Hi, Steve.”

“Hey, Maria. Carol. It feels like I haven’t seen you in a while, even though I just did.” 

“You just missed our wonderful presence,” Carol replied. 

“Yeah, that must be it.” 

Maria turned to him. “How are the missions treating you?” she asked. 

“No, we’ve got it. Sam and Bucky have been great.” He eyed Natasha. “Everyone has, really, even if they aren’t doing missions.” 

“I didn’t say anything!” Natasha said, throwing her hands up.

“Your eyes said it all.”

She continued, “I’m not mad about not going on missions.”

“Sure,” Steve responded. 

She really wasn’t at this point though. She had saved the world, her ledger was clear. While she still wanted to help, she didn’t feel the blaring need to like she had before. Before, it felt like she had to throw herself into every possible mission, saving everyone she possibly could. Now, the need has lessened. Her ledger wasn’t dripping with red, now it was just sort of stained in red. 

And Wanda was safe, as was Yelena. That was all she needed after everything. She couldn’t ask for anything more. 

But that also begged the question of what she should do now. She wanted to help, but maybe throwing her life on the line to save others wasn’t exactly her thing anymore. Maybe it was smaller acts. 

“Really. I’m not.” 

“Good. It’s not personal, Nat. You know that,” he stated.

“I know.” 

“So, Maria, what have you been up to?”

Wanda listened as Maria talked about her new apartment and working. Steve talked about a Christmas and New Years party. Carol emphasized her enthusiasm about that. Natasha grabbed her hand from over the bar, pressed a soft kiss to it, and held on throughout the conversation. 

Eventually, Yelena came and dragged Natasha away to introduce her to someone that Yelena had invited. 

Wanda stayed chatting at the bar with Steve, Maria, and Carol. They had gotten on the topic of food and Steve was explaining to them how shocked he was at all the food when he came back. Carol sympathized with him, saying that after eating in space for so long, eating on Earth was a little weird. 

That brought them to hunger so they moved away from the bar and to the pizzas that were set up on the table. No one had opened it yet. So Steve decided to get it started and opened all of the boxes at the top. 

Soon, everyone was grabbing the food. Wanda waited for Natasha to get hers then sat at the high top table in the corner with her.

Wanda turned to meet Natasha’s eyes and quietly said, “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“How’s it going?” Wanda asked.

“Good. I’m happy to see everyone. How are you? Feeling okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s good to be here, with everyone. How are you?”

“Good, I think? Sort of overwhelmed.” 

After a few minutes, Yelena and Pepper occupied the other chairs. 

Yelena complained that she should have been the official pizza opener because she was the one who ordered it. Natasha said she was a sore loser for not getting to it first. 

Some agents came and stood down next to them, placing some plates on the table. Natasha introduced them to Wanda. They talked about missions for about two minutes before Natasha decided they shouldn’t talk shop. So they switched topics. They chatted for a while, too long, in Wanda’s opinion. 

She half listened and tried to add to the conversation, while half watching the games of pool that were happening. She felt Natasha’s hand sneak on her thigh during the conversation. It helped ground her. 

Eventually, wanting to move around, Wanda asked if anyone wanted any drinks. No one said so, but Wanda still went over to the mini bar to get herself moving. 

She poured herself a ginger ale into ice, her stomach still was slightly bothering her, which is why she had decided to just have that one barely alcoholic drink, then she went to return to Natasha. 

Upon returning to the table, she saw that Yelena had occupied Natasha, telling her and the others a story about something, smiling widely. 

Natasha laughed, the corners of her mouth lifting, her eyes crinkling. She looked so beautiful. 

Once she had collected herself she spotted Wanda. She gestured for her to come over, but Wanda slightly shook her head.

She could tell she needed time with Yelena and the others. She did really enjoy them. And they were all overjoyed to see her. Pepper practically killed her with a hug when she saw her. 

Natasha slightly frowned. Wanda looked over at Yelena, back at Natasha and gave her a nod. Natasha smiled, seeming to get the message. 

So she went to join a game of darts with Maria and Steve.

Maria talked about growing out her hair. Nick came up and apologized for not saying hi earlier and stated how happy he was to be there celebrating Natasha. 

Wanda realized how important it was–celebrating her. Many people, including herself, thought they would never see her again. That’s why Yelena had been pushing so hard, that’s why everyone showed up, that’s why everyone was so dressed up. It was just a birthday party. It was a celebration of someone they’d never thought they’d see again.

It warmed her heart to think about that. She had before thought about the importance of Natasha’s homecoming and its impact on others, but right now, it felt very real. 

A while later, Yelena brought out the cake. They all sang. Natasha slightly blushed and blew out her candles. All of them had a piece and complimented Yelena on her cake choosing skills.

Later in bed, Natasha laughed about how everyone, including Yelena herself, gave Yelena so much credit for all the food when she really had ordered everything. 

Wanda agreed. 

Natasha gave her a ‘thank you’ and a ‘I love you’ then fell asleep curled next to Wanda. Wanda kissed her forehead, relaxed into the bed, and fell asleep alongside her. 

The days went by fast after that. They had all found things to make them busy. Wanda trained her powers, Yelena or Steve would join her. Natasha and Steve trained together. They talked more about the fate of the Avengers. Yelena and Wanda hung out. They plotted against Natasha and exchanged more embarrassing stories about her. Natasha would get pretend mad at them. Natasha continued to be touchy with Wanda. Yelena continued to comment on it. 

Several mornings later, Natasha woke to a quiet knock on the door. She gently rolled Wanda off of her and opened it. 

“Дoброе утро, сестра.” 

Natasha rubbed her eyes. Yelena stood in front of her, clad in one of Natasha’s oversized shirts and a pair of black sweatpants. “Hi, Yelena. What’s up?” 

“I want to make breakfast, but I do not know where anything is.” 

“And?”

“Help?” 

She looked toward Wanda, who was peacefully asleep. She figured she’d be okay to wake up herself. Wanda was doing good now. “Okay.” 

“Don’t worry about your Wanda. She is fast asleep.”

That hit Natasha right in the heart. Something about the words she said and the way she said it and the situation surrounding it. Something about everything that was happening. It was all so good. 

She walked out into the kitchen and helped Yelena make some french toast. But first she had to teach her how to use the coffee pot which Yelena complained was very old for all of the newer technology in the building. Natasha had to agree. 

After that, they made breakfast. Yelena knew how to make french toast like she knew the back of her hand. It was one of the recipes that she had made herself memorize to have something for herself. Something that she could enjoy and love and make with her own hands. 

Natasha helped her gather the ingredients and Yelena talked through each step that she was doing. It might have been more for herself than Natasha. 

Wanda stayed in the back of Natasha’s mind the entire time. 

When they sat down to eat, she was brought to the front. Natasha figured that she would have woken up by now and wanted to eat something or see where Natasha was. She realized that they hadn’t slept apart since she got back. Her worry grew.

Yelena could sense something was off and distracted her with stories about the Widows she’d saved. Natasha couldn’t help but be so proud and grateful for her little sister. Every story she told only strengthened Natasha’s belief in Yelena. She knew she was capable of great things; they both were. 

Yelena was halfway through a story about a group of Widows being freed when she heard screams from the hallway. 

They were Wanda’s.

Natasha could recognize that in a heartbeat.

She flew down the hallway and opened the door. Wanda was sitting straight up on the bed, tears running down her face, and red wisps in her palms. She was still trying to scream, but it came out more like sobs. 

Natasha immediately sat next to her and grabbed her, holding her close. Her whole body was shaking. 

“Shhh, дорогая. I’m here. I’m here. It’s alright.” 

Wanda flinched away from her and a large tremor moved throughout her body. “Na–Natasha?” she said breathlessly. She cocked her head at her like she was trying to get a more focused look at her. 

Natasha did not go back in to embrace her, not wanting to upset her more. She stayed next to her and spoke, “Wanda. It’s alright. I’m here.” 

Wanda looked away from her and down at the bed. “No. No. I can’t,” she hiccuped. “I can’t.” 

Within only those few seconds Natasha decided she couldn’t bear not touching her and grabbed onto Wanda’s hand. She got sort of burned by the magic, but she didn’t care. 

“Wanda. I’m here. Wanda, it’s okay.” 

Wanda continued to look down and sob. She let out a weak, “No. No.” Tears dripped from her face onto the bed. Heavy and thick and hot, they fell in blotches on the blankets. 

Natasha evenly said, “I’m right here. Take some deep breaths. In and out. In and out.” 

She watched as Wanda took some shaky breaths. Then she looked up at her. “You’re really here?” she said. Her face was tearstained. Red hair was tangled messily around her face.

Natasha responded, “Yes. I’m right here. Take some more deep breaths.” She exaggerated an inhale. “In.” She exaggerated an exhale. “Out.”

Wanda followed her instructions and breathed slowly with her. She wiped some of her tears off with her hands. 

“Can I hug you?” Natasha asked with some hesitance.

Wanda gave a slight nod, and Natasha was immediately embracing her. Wanda relaxed into it and leaned against her. She stopped fully sobbing and tears now just weakly fell down her face. 

“It’s alright. I’m right here.”

Natasha positioned herself up against the headboard and Wanda laid on her for a while, taking deep breaths. 

Eventually Natasha quietly asked, “What happened?”

“Nightmare.”

“Okay.”

She took another deep breath and continued, “And I woke up and you weren’t here. When you came in…I thought it was just another dream that was going to end badly. I panicked.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. It’s my mind making this dumb shit up,” Wanda mumbled. 

Natasha slightly smiled, she began lightly running her fingers through Wanda’s hair. “I guess I think I’m sorry your mind is making this dumb shit up.” 

Wanda laughed lightly. She snuggled closer into Natasha’s warm body. Natasha’s heart was happy at the thought of Wanda borrowing into her for comfort. All she wanted was to comfort her. 

“I haven’t had one since you’ve gotten here,” Wanda said.

“What can I say? I’m a professional nightmare-get-rid-of-er.” 

Wanda lifted her head slightly up to look her in the eyes. “Oh. You going national with that?”

“Yes, I have many appointments across the states.” 

“Good, you need something to keep you busy.”

“Why?” Natasha asked. 

“You worry about me too much.”

“I do.” Natasha craned her neck down and kissed Wanda’s forehead. “I love you too much not to.” 

Wanda flopped back down onto Natasha’s body and snuggled against it. She breathed slowly in and out. Natasha continued to run her fingers through her hair. She also lifted her other hand to inspect the burns she got from Wanda’s magic, but kept it hidden from Wanda’s eyeline.

She looked closely at the bright red lines weaved into her hands with pink skin surrounding them. They didn’t look too bad, but she was sure Wanda was going to feel awful about it. So she put her hand back down and made sure Wanda couldn’t see it. 

She focused back on running her other hand through Wanda’s long red hair. Wanda continued to lie on Natasha’s chest and take steady breaths. 

After a while Wanda spoke again, accent heavy, “I still feel weird. The dream hasn’t shaken.” 

“That’s okay. We can just wait it out. You’ll feel better soon. Sometimes dreams just take a while to shake.” She paused to think of anything that would help, but she came up with nothing. The dreams she had she was usually able to shake off, they didn’t linger with her for a while after waking. So she asked, “Do you need anything? I don’t know what would help, I wish I did.”
Wanda thought for a second then said, “Just talk to me.” 

So she did, she talked to her about how fancy the compound was, the outdated coffee machine, Yelena’s french toast, how everyone was stealing her clothes, Christmas coming up, and many other things. She made sure to keep her burned hand out of sight.

Wanda talked idly back, said she was sorry for missing breakfast and that she would consider maybe giving some clothes back. 

They stayed like that for the whole morning. 

Chapter Text

When Steve came to tell them he was getting started on lunch, Wanda still felt a little off, but she was okay. They both got up off the bed, Wanda decided on taking a shower, and Natasha joined her. She carefully washed Wanda’s hair and body, leaving Wanda to just relax under the hot water and Natasha’s touch.

Wanda dried her hair with the blowdryer and put it into a low ponytail. They both got dressed then went out to the common room to eat. 

Wanda ate lunch in almost complete silence. She had agreed and nodded along to Natasha and Yelena saying one thing or the other, reminiscing about the party that was only a few days ago. As soon as she had finished her food, she left. 

She felt tired–exhausted really. There was no energy left for her to spend. The nightmare and subsequent panic attack really took it out of her. So, of course, she went back to her room. 

Natasha stayed sitting at the table with Yelena, trying to give some time for Wanda to recoup, trying to give herself time to recoup. It was the best. She had to tell herself that about a thousand times. They needed some time apart, and it was hard for Natasha to realize that. She wanted to be by her side constantly. And she hated seeing Wanda so scared. On Yelena’s request, she made them some tea, and was now stirring the bag lazily around the mug. 

“So, what’s up with Wanda?” Yelena asked quietly.

“What do you mean ‘What’s up with Wanda’?”

“I mean…Сестра, you know what I mean.” 

“She had a nightmare.”

“That’s all?”

“She has bad ones.” Natasha remembered all those nights when she first came back from Sokovia. Before they were even together, only about a month after Wanda’s arrival, Natasha would go to her room or Wanda would come to hers when she needed comfort. And in return, when Natasha had nightmares, Wanda would use her magic to rid them.

It was another sleepless night. It had been since coming back from Sokovia with a little witch in tow. If Natasha wasn’t having a nightmare, she was awake worrying about having a nightmare. 

Even through the weeks since they’d been back, her and Wanda had formed some sort of friendship. 

The kind where she held onto Wanda’s hand when she was especially nervous, the kind where she always checked on her, the kind where she dragged her out of her room at least once a day so she wouldn’t wallow, the kind where she always had coffee ready for her in the mornings and tea for her at night, the kind where she helped her train and helped with the headaches that sometimes came after using her powers a lot, the kind where Clint made fun of her for caring about Wanda so much so fast. 

It was weird for Natasha, caring this much. She must just have a soft spot for Sokovian witches who are drowning in grief. 

Wanda had apologized profusely and offered to try to rid the nightmares by going back into her mind and pushing the memories back, but Natasha was too scared that it might bring more memories to the surface. Of course, she did not tell this to Wanda, she just told her that she could deal with the nightmares.

And she could.

Mostly. 

(Of course until later when she gave in and let her help.)

She laid in bed, staring at the off white ceiling. It was completely blank and uniform. No spots or scratches, she was tempted to throw something at it just to have something to stare at. 

Then, she heard screaming. High pitched and loud and close to her. It had to be Wanda. She must be having a nightmare.

So preoccupied with her own, Natasha never thought about Wanda having nightmares. She wondered how often, probably a lot. She was so preoccupied with trying to help Wanda during the day–making coffee and tea, forcing her out of her room for movie nights, giving her tours of the compound–that she didn’t think about nights. She was worried more about her now. 

She felt bad, she should have stopped focusing on her own and tried to help Wanda. Natasha should take better care of her. She was alone in a new country, she didn’t have a lot of people to support her. At least that’s what Natasha thought to herself. She briefly wondered why she was thinking about the witch so much, but she brushed it off, something to think about later. Not now, she had to help her now. 

So she jumped up out of her bed and went to Wanda’s room. The door was shut with red light emitting from under it. 

She slowly creaked open the door.

Wanda was thrashing around on the bed, red orbs in her hands. She was sobbing with an occasional yell of ‘no’ or ‘please.’

Natasha slowly walked over to the bed and sat down on it.

“Wanda?” She shook Wanda’s shoulders. “Wanda! Wake up!”

She grabbed both of her shoulders to shake her more violently. She continued to shake her and say her name, on the fourth repetition of her name, Wanda’s eyes shot open. The red dissipated from her hands. 

Natasha attempted to soothe her with, “Shh, it’s okay, дорогая. It was just a nightmare.” 

But Wanda continued to cry. Natasha muttered more reassurances then sat up against the headboard and moved Wanda to lay on her chest. 

She breathed in slowly and deeply, while telling Wanda to do the same. 

“It’s okay, Wanda. It wasn’t real.” 

Wanda tried to speak, but only continued to sob into Natasha’s chest. Natasha took in more slow, deep breaths and continued to tell Wanda to do the same. 

After a while Wanda looked up at her and spoke up saying, “I-I’m sorry, Natasha. I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“Маленькая ведьма, it’s okay.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I know.”

“I’m still so–”

“Stop apologizing,” Natasha said sternly. She paused then more softly said, “How do you feel now? Do you want anything? A water? Tea?”

Wanda looked away from her and quietly requested, “Stay here?”

“Yeah, of course.” 

Natasha snuggled into the bed and threw the covers around her and Wanda. Wanda laid her head down on Natasha’s chest once again. Natahsa whispered more reassurances to Wanda as she fell asleep, quickly after she did, Natasha was asleep too.

Natasha slept better than ever and didn't have any nightmares. 

In the morning, she thought about ways that she could spend the night with Wanda again and frequently. 

She gave it too much thought. She wasn’t used to thinking about people–social interactions–this much. Just doing things was more her jam, being social came natural to her. Maybe it was all that psychological conditioning to make her more approachable and someone to spill a secret to, to make her a good spy. 

But this didn’t feel like that, she didn’t feel like a spy. She felt like a confused teenager. So, she decided just to test the waters that night by checking on Wanda, if she was already sleeping, whatever, if she wasn’t…well maybe she could join her. 

That night, she went to check on Wanda after she said she was going to bed, just to check. She was just checking on her friend. 

“Natasha?”

She walked farther into the bedroom. “Hi, I just wanted to check…on you.”

Wanda was lying under the covers with a book open on her lap. She smiled lopsidedly and a mischievous glint showed in her eye. “I’m fine. How are you, Natasha?” 

“I’m good.” She stood slightly awkwardly as she watched Wanda close her book and put it on her nightstand. Wanda then looked back up at her. Natasha added, “Um, sleep well.” A little embarrassed, Natasha turned around to leave. 

She stopped when Wanda asked, “You know what would help me sleep better though?” She could hear that grin in Wanda’s voice.

Natasha turned around. “What?”

“If you stayed.”

“Oh.”

“If you want.” 

Natasha smiled at her and replied, “Yeah, yeah I would want that.” 

After that, Natasha tended to sleep in Wanda’s room, and she let Wanda try to get rid of the nightmares. It had worked. She wasn’t sure if it was just Wanda’s presence or her magic that got rid of them. Sometimes when neither of them could sleep, they would just talk, sometimes go up on the roof to look at the night sky. 

Wanda also seemed a little brighter during the days, no more dark circles, she came out for lunches and dinners now, not just once randomly. Natasha assumed it was a good night's sleep, but maybe it was something else too.

Yelena spoke up, “I followed you down the hallway for a bit. She sounded really scared.” 

Natasha looked at her right in the eyes. Her face turned to stone; she was deadly serious. Anger laced her voice, “Don’t eavesdrop on us.”

“I wasn’t trying to.”

The anger in the voice was now more prominent. “You just said you followed me.” She set the spoon she was using to stir her tea down on the table, maybe a little too hard. 

“I was worried. After like a minute, I left. I’m not a total creep.” 

She sighed and scoffed at her. “Sure.” 

Yelena hesitated and spoke weakly, avoiding eye contact, “Is she okay?” 

“She’s fine. It’s just…she’s had a hard time.” 

“Everyone has had a hard time,” Yelena said flatly. Natasha was obviously too caring for this girl, everyone had a hard time coming back. There was no one for whom this wasn’t hard for. There probably wasn’t a lot that made her Wanda special. This sucked for everyone, and Natasha should know that. 

“Her more than others.”

“Why?”

Natasha tilted her head and spoke firmly, “Yelena. Can you just drop it? She struggled, she still is a little bit. Don’t get all nosy and weird about it.” 

Natasha was sensitive about this girl. This was something new. Yelena had not expected this. She cared, maybe even more than she cared about Yelena. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Whatever–” Natasha said, pushing her chair back and getting up.

“I’m serious.” Yelena grabbed her hand to keep her there. She continued, “I didn’t mean to intrude. I was just being too curious.” 

“Okay.”

Yelena spoke again, “Простить. Я не хотела тебя обидеть.”

“Ладно, забыли,” Natasha said quietly and sat back down and took a sip of her tea. 

A silence filled the air, one that was meant to clear out the last conversation, move the moment forward. After a minute or two, Yelena leaned forward and her eyes sparkled. “So what’s the deal with Christmas around here?”
Natasha’s lips quirked up as she said, “You really love a celebration.”

Yelena widely smiled. “I do! I like to be happy.” 

She took another sip of her tea and told her, “I really don’t know. We have had parties and stuff here before but…Tony was usually the organizer. For Thanksgiving, we just had people over for the meal.” 

“Okay, we have to do something more fun than that.”

“Who is ‘we’?” 

“Me, you, all of us. You guys are moping around here too much. We are here, we are alive, we are all together, let’s celebrate!” 

“I guess you are right.”

So she and Yelena talked a great deal about having a Christmas party and who to invite. The guest list wasn’t all that different from Natasha’s birthday. Eventually, Yelena decided she wanted to go down and work out for a little bit. She noted that she loved taking advantage of the giant training room. Natasha smiled and agreed that it was great. Natasha wanted to check in on Wanda, anyway, she always did, so she was happy when Yelena got up to leave. 

She walked into their bedroom slowly. 

Wanda was sitting on the bed, watching an episode of Bewitched, curled up in one of Natasha’s blankets. She looked comfortable but tired. The bags under her eyes were prevalent. 

She sat down next to her, and, wordlessly, Wanda curled into Natasha’s body. The words “I love you” entered Natasha’s mind, and she immediately knew it was from Wanda. 

The next morning, it seemed like the countdown to Christmas had begun. Yelena had now gotten everyone excited about it. Steve insisted that they decorate. They all groaned, but were secretly excited. 

Yelena seemed elated that the others had enjoyed her own joy over Christmas so much. At the breakfast table, Wanda asked when the last time she celebrated was. Yelena couldn’t remember. Suddenly, Natasha understood why she was so excited. So she tried to fall into it with everyone else. 

It seemed like every celebration was amplified now, maybe it was just Yelena. But it was also a general sense in the air that everyone should be grateful for everything that they had, after everything that they had lost. 

Natasha suggested a trip to New York City for her, Wanda, and Yelena–plus whoever else wanted to come–so they could get some presents for each other. 

Yelena and Steve loved New York so they wanted to come. Wanda shyly smiled and nodded. So a plan was made to go soon. 

About a week later, they were on their way to New York. Steve had to finish monitoring something before he left. He told them it was top secret but something he had to keep an eye on at all times. 

Steve decided to drive then, then Yelena called shotgun, leaving Wanda and Natasha to sit in the back. 

Once they were out of the compound’s road, Natasha thoughtlessly put her hands over Wanda’s. She rang her fingers along the silver rings that adorned Wanda’s fingers. 

Steve put on some old music, stating that he was the driver and he should choose. Yelena complained for a bit, until a song she liked came on. Natasha moved closer to Wanda and grasped her hand more firmly. She brought up Wanda’s hand to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it. 

Wanda didn’t mind car rides so much. 

“You two better not be doing anything nasty back there,” Yelena said, shooting them a look in the rearview mirror.

“Yelena.”

“Come on,” Steve said with a grimace. 

“I just have to make sure they aren’t going to be disgusting.”

“We are not.”

Yelena settled into her seat further. “Okay, that’s good.” The song switched to yet another song that topped the charts in the nineteen-forties. 

Natasha spoke up. “So Steve, any present plans for Bucky?”

He looked almost startled. 

Natasha continued, “We all know. Chill out.” 

“I’m just not used to it, I guess.” He really wasn’t. How did he go about having a public relationship after everything had been so private? Yes, he trusted these people. But it was strange and somewhat scary. 

“Sooooooo?” Yelena said. 

Steve blushed a little bit. Natasha smirked at him. He went on to describe his ideas and Yelena nodded along. 

“Very very good ideas.” Yelena turned around to the back seat. “And you Natasha? Any plans?”

“I can’t tell, Wanda is right here.” 

“Just send it to me telepathically.” 

Natasha gestured over to Wanda. “She can read minds though.” Wanda smiled and tapped the side of her head.

“What! That’s so cool!” 

“Very,” Natasha said. 

Yelena’s eyes widened. “Can you read my mind like right now?”

Natasha was now worried, she knew Wanda really did not like to read minds. She blamed herself for every nightmare that Natasha got upon coming back from Sokovia after she entered her mind. Even though she allowed herself to pass her thoughts into Natasha’s mind sometimes, she never dug around in Natasha’s mind.

“Yeah, probably.” 

“Can you try?”

Wanda looked down at her fingers and her silver rings then back up and met Yelena’s eyes. “I prefer not to.”

“Why? That’s like the coolest power ever.”

“It’s a bit personal and invasive.” 

“Oh.”

“It’s just…It’s not something I enjoy.”

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay. People think powers are cool until they realize what they really do and how destructive they can be.” 

“But they can also do good,” Natasha interjected. 

“Yes, they can sometimes,” Wanda responded quietly. 

“Can you show me something cool then? Something fun?”

Wanda smiled warmly. “Yeah sure.” 

Red wisps appeared in her hands. Yelena’s eyes locked in on the red glow. Tendrils shot out and slowly creeped up to the radio. Steve let out a noise of warning. The red engulfed the radio and suddenly it was playing another song, then another, then another, until it landed on “Master of Puppets.” She adjusted the volume slightly, then the red disappeared. 

“That’s so cool!” 

“Can you change it back now?” Steve requested. 

“No, I like this one,” Yelena said, then turned to dial it up more. Steve groaned. Wanda let out a small giggle. 

“You’re very cute, маленькая ведьма,” Natasha whispered in Wanda’s ear. Chills ran through Wanda’s body, and she blushed.

Once the song was over, Steve couldn’t change the station, until Wanda made it normal again. Yelena got a kick out of this, but Steve did not. 

“You do not deserve this trip,” Steve said, looking at her through the rearview mirror. 

“Sorry, dad, I’ll be better,” Wanda said with a large faux smile. 

He admonished her in a playful voice, “Wanda.” 

She smirked. “I’m truly sorry, dad.” 

“Never letting go of that?”

Wanda shook her head and met his eye in the mirror. “No, you are very dad-like I think.” 

“He definitely is.”

“Yes,” Yelena said with an affirmative nod. 

They chatted lightly for the rest of the trip. Music was fought over every couple of songs. They made plans for which stores and where they were splitting up and meeting again. 

Once they got there, they all started out in one store then scattered out to others. Natasha found a lego flower set for Wanda, a hoodie, and a couple of other smaller things: more candles, new soaps, and more rings. 

For lunch, they met up in a small cafe that obviously used to be a house. They found a table in the back after ordering their food. There were fake flowers lining the walls and fake ivy on the ceiling. 

Wanda tried to guess what Natasha got her, but Natasha never revealed it. Steve showed them all what he got for Bucky. But a lot of the presents were secret because they were for each other. 

They all got their food and coffees and ate quickly. Walking around the city had starved them. 

After lunch, Yelena went into one more shop, then they headed home. 

Natasha and Wanda got stuck in the back, once again. 

The sun had started to set by the time they were halfway there. Soon, Wanda was asleep on Natasha’s shoulders. The day had worn her out coupled with her still fighting the exhaustion from all her emotions. 

Natasha lowered Wanda’s head into her lap and gently stroked her hair. Soon, Natasha’s eyes were closing too. She wasn’t fully asleep, but close. She was awake enough to hear Yelena and Steve talking still.

“I have not been shopping in forever.” 

“That’s great you had a good day then. I’m not a big fan of shopping, but it is fun once in a while,” Steve responded.

“I think they are both asleep now,” Yelena said, glancing at the backseat. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

“You know Natasha more than I did, well you were around her more. She has changed, right? She seems a lot different than when I saw her.”

Steve hesitated then spoke, “Yeah, everyone changed. I mean when everyone disappeared, she really struggled. And then she died. Now she’s back and she is…somewhat–you’re right–different.”

“I think it’s good though. She is good with Wanda,” Yelena said with a smile. 

“She really is. I didn’t know how it all was going to work out, then when Wanda disappeared, Natasha really went through it. I think that was when I realized how much she actually loves her.”

“The lack.”

Steve nodded and replied, “Yes.

She lacked a lot when Wanda was gone. And now she’s here, and she is showing her love a lot more.”

“Very strange of her.”

Steve chucked. “Yes, it is very strange.” 

“She was never that type of person before.”

“Well, things happen and people change.”