Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Good evening, Master Diluc.” Kaeya spoke with a polite tone, taking his usual seat that the knights have deemed ‘Captain’s Chair’. 

Diluc didn’t reply for a moment, until Kaeya was right in front of him. “Oh- evening, Kaeya.”

Kaeya raised an eyebrow at Diluc’s lack of awareness, that was strange… Diluc is always so alert, even the smallest of sounds could grab his attention. I mean, what if Kaeya was a burglar!? Diluc never would have known! Or reacted! Or worse, a random customer!? Ratings would drop due to his aloofness.

“One Death Afternoon, please.” Diluc simply nodded and passed Kaeya the already made drink. He has Kaeya’s visiting schedule memorized by now.

He traded Diluc a polite thank you, before turning to join a conversation with the drunkards. The tavern was less crowded tonight than usual, it was a nice change of atmosphere. He didn’t mind the minimal talking. Though, it was a bit too quiet. Kaeya realized Diluc hadn't said a word all night! Sure, he’s not much of a talker, but he’d still say something every now and then. This behavior was strange for Diluc.

As the time passed, patrons began leaving, and eventually, Kaeya was the last customer remaining once again.

Diluc quickly wiped the glasses and put them away, sloppily, making more of a mess for Charles to clean up later. It was clear to Kaeya that he was in a hurry. Without exchanging a word, Diluc almost ran out of Angel share.

…

“What an odd night…” Kaeya laughed to himself. He noticed the small smile on Diluc’s face all night, and he noted his dazed behavior. He was acting like a teenage girl with a first crush! Hm… could it be that Master Diluc has met a woman?

Kaeya shook his head, it wasn’t his business to pry. He’s happy for his brother, or dear friend, whatever they are now. His romantic life has nothing to do with him… but if he’d have to guess-!

…

For some odd reason, Kaeya couldn’t return home for the night. As tired as he was, he felt as if there was so much more to do. The smart choice was to go home and rest his exhausted body, the other was to take a walk outside the gates, dazed, vulnerable, and unprotected. Of course, Kaeya chose the latter.

Walks were a nice way for him to take his mind off recent stress, the current was Diluc’s strange behavior. Again, Diluc has nothing to do with him anymore, so his behavior was none of his business, but he’ll always have that sense of worry for him, for anyone. It wasn’t like his behavior was bad, just very out of character.

Kaeya hums a tune he didn’t remember where he learned from. Perhaps it was a song Venti had played in the tavern before, or something he heard in childhood, or the streets of Liyue, or Sumeru. It didn’t matter. Until he finds himself approaching the cliff of Wolvendom. This particular area has a beautiful view of Mondstadt, which is why Kaeya treasures this spot so much. 

He heard distant talking up ahead, which was strange. As far as he knew, they had no knights dispatched, so this couldn't be a mission group. It could just be two teenagers sneaking out at night, in that case, Kaeya would have to escort the two kids back home. He sighed, this wouldn’t be the first time he’s caught a group of rebellious kids out here, for example, there’s been two occasions where he’s caught young lovers not far from Mondstadt’s gates. It was a pain to convince them to come back inside, but what could Kaeya expect? Kids will be kids, even if it’s the rebellious teenage phase. However, he wouldn’t know, he was a well behaved child.

Kaeya peaked over the ledge before stopping every move. He took a step into the side and into the trees slowly, as to not be detected. Sitting on the cliff was Diluc with… a familiar man, Kaeya couldn’t quite see, but he had an idea, and it made him sick. 

Diluc was laughing and smiling, even touching and moving closer to the other man. Without a doubt, the man Diluc was being so intimate with was none other than the 11th Fatui harbinger. He and Kaeya had a struggle with each other maybe 3 years ago… but that’s besides the point, the point is, why was Diluc so close to a Fatui!? A Harbinger!? The 11th Fatui Harbinger!?

The man was quite well known here in Mondstadt after Fatui deployments started flooding in, there was no way Diluc didn’t know who “Childe” was, especially not with the mask resting on Childe’s head. He wasn’t even trying to hide his identity.

Kaeya was about to do something, but he couldn’t find it within himself to move. Yeah, he didn’t have a weapon with him, that’s one reason, but the thing really holding him back was that look Diluc had on his face. The pale moonlight perfectly captured Diluc’s soft expression, he wore such a bright smile, one that he hasn’t seen Diluc put on in the past four years he’s been back in Mondstadt. But why? He thought Diluc hated the Fatui, that was certainly the impression he gave off, especially after his 4 year long Snezhnaya vacation.

Kaeya’s chest began to ache. He took note of Diluc and Childe’s intertwined fingers, and the way Childe leaned his head against Diluc’s shoulder, and how Diluc seemed to love it. Diluc placed a kiss on the top of Childe’s head and Kaeya ripped his sight away. It’s one thing to act so lovely with the enemy, but it’s a whole other thing to… fall for one. 

He’s seen enough. Kaeya moved as quickly and quietly as he could. He returned to his house with a pounding headache. One part of him can’t quite understand why he’s this upset, and the other can’t understand why Diluc would choose that man out of anyone. So he could accept a damn Fatui but not him? 

I guess there are some differences, Kaeya had been tricking Diluc all his life, but Kaeya genuinely believed Mondstadt to be his new home, and the Ragnvinders as his true family, he tried to explain that to Diluc that night, but he didn’t believe a word he said. Shouldn’t it still be different though? They grew up as brothers, as family! He knew he deserved whatever Diluc had done and said to him, he understood his anger towards him, but how could Diluc place a harbinger over him? He thought their relationship has improved over the years…. Certainly Kaeya wasn’t that replaceable, right?

Just sleep it off Kaeya. Just… rest. Drink some water first, your head is pounding.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Kaeya had almost forgotten about the sight. He carried on with his duties, fending off hilichurl camps, filling out paperwork, and even taking on some of Jean’s responsibilities. He exhausted himself training the group of young adventurers in dragonspine and even paid Albedo a visit. He was quite proud of his packed schedule, Jean and Lisa less so, but Kaeya didn’t mind. He enjoyed being busy, it helped him focus on things at hand rather than his own thoughts. 

“Kaeya.” He felt a hand on his shoulder. Kaeya had only just returned to Mondstadt after dropping Klee off with her brother. 

“Ah, if it isn’t my dear Sister Rosaria? To what do I owe the pleasure?” Kaeya smiled. Rosaria rolled her eyes and pushed him away, playfully of course.

“Cut the crap, Captain.” Though titles were respectful, they were used almost as teasing names during informal occasions. “Are you coming tonight? Venti’s already in the tavern.”

Right, the tavern, then would mean he’d have to face Diluc. Kaeya felt himself cringe at the thought. 

“…yeah.” Kaeya muttered. Rosaria raised a brow at that tone of voice, as sharp as ever, now is she? She can always sense the smallest of problems. Kaeya quickly regained his composure. “ I apologize if I lack my charm, it’s been a busy few days, Rosaria.”

She gave him a deep glare, before letting it go. “Of course.” She turned around and began walking to Angel Share, Kaeya followed closely behind her. “Don’t drink too much tonight, we need you sober enough to return home.” 

Kaeya let out a laugh. “keep talking like that, I’ll mistake your advice for concern.”

“It is concern, Kaeya.” Rosaria answered back, obviously annoyed. Okay… not the answer Kaeya expected, but he was grateful nonetheless. 

The pair entered the tavern, their usual drinking party already helping themselves to a couple of drinks. They exchanged their hellos and good evenings, before Kaeya sat in his seat. He was once again faced with Diluc, who was still out of the loop. He waited for a moment to see if Diluc would notice his presence, he didn't. Kaeya scoffed,

“Evening, Master Diluc.” Kaeya spoke with his usual smooth talking voice. Diluc’s head shot up, as if he was taken by surprise.

“Good evening.” Diluc responded, passing Kaeya his usual starter drink, a fine glass of Death Afternoon. Kaeya stared at the drink, as much as he did want to down this all in one go, he had no plans on getting drunk tonight. 

He pushed the glass away. “Thank you, Diluc, however, I'd like something soft tonight. Maybe something with… significantly less alcohol than this, please.”  

Now that woke Diluc up for sure. Kaeya’s always ordered the strongest alcohol they had in stock. There’s only been two nights in the past five years where he’s ordered something with less alcohol, one being the night before Klee’s birthday, the other being a date, well, Diluc didn’t know if it was a date, but he assumed so seeing how sweet Kaeya was with that blonde alchemist. Nonetheless, Diluc nodded and made Kaeya a different drink, despite his confusion. 

Kaeya smiled and thanked Diluc earnestly. “And don’t worry, I’ll compensate for the wasted drink as well.” He flashed Diluc a smile. Diluc rolled his eyes and went back to wiping down the glasses. Kaeya’s smile immediately faded once Diluc turned his back, taking note of the new red scarf Diluc had lazily stuffed in his pocket. The average person would assume this was just a new rag Diluc had bought, but Kaeya recognized it. It was the same red scarf Childe wore the night before. 

At first, Kaeya tried his hardest to deny that Diluc was dating a Fatui, I mean, who knows?  Maybe Diluc was just oddly affectionate that night. When they were younger, Diluc would kiss Kaeya’s injuries to make him feel better, but that stopped once they got to their teen years. Now that he thought about it, his logic didn't make any sense. It was so obvious he’s romantically involved with the harbinger. 

The night soon came to an end, and Diluc was out the door. Kaeya knew where he was going, but just to make sure, he followed. He kept a safe distance between him and Diluc, and of course, the path led back to the same spot as before. 

Diluc sat down on a fallen log and crossed his legs. Thankfully, he was distracted by the beautiful view of Mondstat, giving Kaeya enough time to hide better. It took a while, but eventually Childe made his grand appearance. He slowly snuck up behind Diluc, and pounced on him like some kind of dog. 

Diluc turned around with a smile, embracing Childe with open arms, and trapping each other in a deep kiss. 

Archons, Kaeya felt like a creep. He mentally apologized to Diluc and shut his eyes tightly out of respect. 

After their… session… Childe sat down with Diluc. Kaeya couldn’t quite hear exactly what they were saying, so he inched closer, trying his best to not make a noise. Still, even with closer proximity, he couldn't hear a word being exchanged. The rustling of the leaves did cover up his own movement, but it also blocked out Diluc and Childe’s words.  

He sighed, this was useless. If he was going to confront Diluc about his affairs, he needed to conduct a thorough investigation, find out exactly when and how long this had been going on.  

Kaeya rolled his eyes and left, he could always try again some other day. 

Chapter Text

“...” 

“Is everything alright, Ajax?” Diluc asked curiously. Childe snapped his head back at Diluc upon hearing his call.

Childe smiled.  “Yeah! Yeah, everything’s fine!  I just thought I heard something in the bushes.”  Childe’s gaze went back to the greenery for a split second, before turning his full attention to his lover. 

Diluc shrugged. “Perhaps it was the wind.”

Childe stretched his body, before collapsing on Diluc’s lap. “Maybe!”

Diluc smiled and placed a hand on Childe’s chest. “How have your siblings been? You said your brother is coming to visit.”

Childe nodded. “Mhm, Tuecer wants to meet you.” 

Diluc chuckled. “Me?”

“Yes, you! My whole family knows at this point.”

Diluc got a little red in the face. He’s always been so pale, and his face would get extremely red over the smallest of things. Kaeya and Jean used to make fun of him for it, and that would ultimately make him even more red. Childe laughed, poking fun at Diluc’s flustered expression, despite how hard he tried to hide it.

“Speaking of which, Diluc, you’ve never mentioned your family to me.” 

Diluc was a bit taken aback by the question, but it’s true. Childe was such a family man, always boasting about his siblings, while Diluc would never speak about such topics. Here and there, he’d mention his father, but nothing more than that.

“Ah, yes…” Diluc nodded. He tried to think of the most appropriate and truthful response. “It’s always just been my father and I.”

To be honest, Diluc didn't know if he was telling the truth. There was Kaeya, yes, but he didnt know if Kaeya considered himself as Diluc’s brother anymore. At one point, he did, until that night. Would it be disrespectful to include Kaeya after Diluc tried to kill him? He does still refer to him as ‘Brother’, but he never knew when Kaeya was being genuine. He’s always so cunning and sarcastic. 

As much as he still loves Kaeya, he didn’t know if those feelings were reciprocated, and it hurt to exclude someone he once treasured so much. But then again, Kaeya likely doesn’t forgive him, and maybe he never will. 

Yes, he still insists he’s the late master’s adopted son, but he’s never directly told anyone he’s Diluc’s adopted brother. Diluc didn’t know anymore. 

“I’ve told you about my father already, yeah?” Diluc asked. He did, he knew he did.

Childe nodded, noticing the discomfort in Diluc’s voice. “Oh- yeah- yes, you have. Sorry, let’s move on. Anyways-”

“Kaeya! Kaeya! Can we go to Dragonspine? Please!?” Klee urged him, tugging him by the cloak. Kaeya smiled at the little girl, how could he say no to that face?

“Of course, Klee. Just let big brother clean up a bit, then we can go adventuring, okay?” Kaeya patted her head softly. She nodded, but still clung around him as he did his rounds. Once Kaeya declared everything in place, he took Klee’s hand and made their way to Dragonspine.

“Brother Albedo is working in the snow today, I hope we see him!” Klee smiled brightly.

“Is that so?” Kaeya said. Usually, Kaeya would take Klee up the mountain, drop her off with Albedo in Sucrose, hangout for an hour or two, then head back down. Lately, Kaeya’s been spending more time up there with Albedo. “I hope we see him too.”

Not too far into their journey, they ran into a familiar face. Klee backed up and hid behind Kaeya. The man turned around, almost panicked. Kaeya could have sworn he saw a mix of hydro and pyro. Who would bring hydro to Dragonspine?

“Master Diluc! Good day to you.” Kaeya offered him a grin, Klee did not.

Diluc straightened his posture and put away his claymore, the bodies of hilichurls dispersed behind him . “Good day.” He replied calmly. “What are the Cavalry Captain and the young Spark Knight doing here, if I may ask?”

“We’re going to see big brother Albedo!” Klee replied. She loved talking about her family in the brightest of light. She points to the top of the mountain, where light emitted through the soft snowfall. “He’s up there!”

Kaeya nodded. “As much as we’d love to stay and chat, we must get going.”

“Yes, as do I.” Diluc responded. Kaeya and Klee walked past Diluc.

“See you later, Master Diluc!” Kaeya said cheerfully. Diluc gave a slight nod in acknowledgement, before taking off in the opposite direction.

That’s odd, if Diluc was leaving, he would have turned left, but instead, he turned right. That was the path blocked off due to a Hilichurl infestation, is that the business Diluc had to attend to? He’s doing it alone? Now Kaeya never doubted Diluc’s ability, but taking on a whole herd of Hilichurls alone was a lot, even for the Darknight Hero. 

He felt bad for leaving Diluc to fight this battle alone, but he needed to escort Klee. He couldn't take her all the way up hill, come back down, and assist in this fight. By that time, Diluc would be finished taking care of them…. He was sure Diluc would hold up well.

Kaeya reluctantly walked further into the snow. He kept Klee close to him, suddenly more alert.

Once they made it up the mountain, Kaeya breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing had come to harm them, thank Barbatos. He looked over the edge of the mountain. You know, for a one eyed captain, he had surprisingly very strong eyesight, it was better than the average person, his doctor said. 

Kaeya smiled, spotting the fiery redhead below him. Diluc was safe. 

But there was someone else with him, a more ginger haired figure. That harbinger. 

Kaeya clenched his fist, taking a mental note of these events. 

“Sir Kaeya?” Kaeya turned his attention back to the came.

“Chief Albedo!” Kaeya smiled brightly, taking Albedo in his arms. He hoped Albedo’s company could help ease him.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Kaeya woke up. He planned on talking to Diluc tomorrow, about his relationship.

He rested his head in his hands, he didn't know why he was so emotional about this. Whenever he saw Diluc with that man, he felt so enraged. He didn't want to admit it was jealousy, because that would imply that he’s upset Childe is getting Diluc’s attention and not him, but that’s not the case. He’s upset because Diluc is dating a man a part of the organization that killed Master Crepus, and somehow that man is more deserving of Diluc’s forgiveness than- ugh… That sounds quite selfish.

Kaeya tended to his duties and steered clear of Diluc’s path the entire day. It was just a normal day, nothing out of the ordinary, no hilichurl attacks, no treasure hoarders, no suspicious persons either. Kaeya sighed, thanking every Archon for the easy day.

The sun was setting, usually, this would be around the time he goes out with Jean and Lisa for drinks, but he feared seeing Diluc would make him want to postpone the confrontation. He sighed, how could he pass the time without alcohol?

“Kaeya!” Kaeya turns around with a smile. Jean and Lisa walked up next to him. “Where have you been? Jean and I have been looking everywhere for you.” Lisa said affectionately.

Kaeya let out a chuckle. “Worry you?” he asked.

“Quite a lot.” Jean responded. Kaeya had a habit of not showing up on time.

“I apologize, ladies,” Kaeya responded. “But I fear I don't have the time tonight, next week I'll be sure to make it.”

“Oh?” Lisa questioned. “And where would you be going?”

“Cat’s Tail.”

“Cat’s Tail?” Lisa remarked. Kaeya was a loyal Angel’s Share customer. As far as she knew, Kaeya didn't even like half of Cat’s Tail’s menu. Until it hit her, she let out a chuckle. “Could it be, Captain Kaeya has a date?”

Kaeya played along. “Lisa, you flatter me. You know I don’t have the time for such matters.”

“Sure you don’t, hun.” Lisa teased. She’s always been so sure Kaeya would be the first to find a lover, like a mother accusing every woman to be her son’s girlfriend.

They talked for a bit, until parting ways, Jean and Lisa to Angel’s Share, Kaeya to Cat’s tail.

“Welcome in.” The young bartender shouted from across the room, busy shaking up drinks.
“Evening, Ms. Diona.” He flashed her a smile. Diona wasn’t particularly fond of Kaeya, she thought of him as any other drunkard that entered this building, and she resented them all.

“Hmph, what would you like, Sir. Kaeya?” Diona asked, annoyed already.

“Mix me something with no alcohol, please.”

“No alcohol?” Diona looked at him as if she was going deaf, she couldn't have heard that correctly.

“Yes. please.” Kaeya spoke gently, he had no need to use his smart mouth here, not when the bartender was just a little girl instead of his brother.

“Okay…?”

Two hours passed and it was about time to close up shop. Kaeya thanked the pink cat girl and tipped her extra. The Cat’s Tail wasn’t as bad as he remembered, the smoothies Diona mixed up were actually quite delicious.

As expected, Kaeya finds Diluc along the usual trail. He didn’t know what he was trying to find today. Maybe just more confirmation.

Once they arrived, Kaeya stuffed himself into the bushes. It was a windless night (Thanks a lot, Venti) so he’d have to be silent with the most minimal movement possible, there was nothing to cover his tracks, unless he could find some kind of animal as a scapegoat.

Kaeya waited, and waited, and waited…. Childe still hasn’t arrived. He could tell Diluc was starting to get worried too, fidgeting with the red cloth in his pocket. Kaeya didn’t know if it was normal for Childe to be late, like he said, he didn’t know how long he and Diluc have been dating.

Kaeya heard a strange noise behind him, the sound of leaves crunching. Without a second thought, he reached for his sword.

Archons, he’s stupid.

He left it at home.

Kaeya whipped around, using his arm as a shield. Pain shot through his whole arm as blood leaked through his sleeve.Luckily, the blade didn't slice through his arm completely. Though it hurt, he could still use his fists to defend himself.

He didn’t remember Childe’s fighting style, their first and last battle was almost three years ago, so he’d have to learn as they go. Surely, Diluc would help him.

But he was taking too long…. Childe was relentless and aggressive, it left Kaeya dodging and weaving his blows. With no weapon, it was basically like bringing a knife to a gunfight.

Red and orange cut through his vision, and his skin burned. The sheer force of the claymore sent Kaeya stumbling back. An attack Kaeya was all too familiar with, and despite the burning sensation, it sent chills down his spine. His body ached and his arms hurt terribly. Kaeya tried to squeeze his separating skin together to stop the bleeding, maybe he could use cryo to seal it together temporarily.

He looked up, just to find Diluc staring down at him with his claymore in hand. Kaeya couldn’t lie, the sight did fill him with dread, for a moment he thought Diluc would really do it this time. Of course, that wouldn’t happen, his shield would activate again and he’d run back to Monstadt for urgent care.

“Kaeya?” Diluc muttered. Kaeya breathed heavily, coming back to his senses. Diluc stood in between Kaeya and Childe, this truly was an awkward position for him. “...what do you think you’re doing!?” He yelled, louder than he meant to.

Kaeya’s eye flashed with surprise at the tone of voice, then his brows furrowed. “What am I doing? Diluc, what are you doing!?”

He retorted with anger and frustration. Diluc’s heard this voice far too many times, but it was missing the sweet talk and sarcasm, he doesn’t remember a time where Kaeya didn't have an underlying tone of sarcasm or tease when he yelled.

Kaeya weakly pushed himself up, squeezing his arms. He shot a cold glare at the man behind Diluc. “Him? Out of anyone?” ripping off the bandaid.

Diluc visibly froze. He knew, and he was more than upset.

“That is your lover of choice? You- you understand that’s the 11th Fatui harbinger, yes?” Kaeya coughed up a bit of blood in between sentences.

Of course, Diluc knew, he knew Diluc knew, and Diluc is an idiot.

Diluc put away his claymore and looked back at Childe, Childe who was just as confused. At first, he thought Kaeya was an oddly obsessed admirer of Diluc’s, which would explain why he was spying on the two during their meetups. He never told Diluc because he was adamant on keeping their relationship underwraps, he didn't want to worry his lover about a potential threat.

Seeing Diluc’s hesitance, Kaeya clenched his fists.

“You can’t be serious, Diluc.” It sounded like Kaeya was trying to reason with him now, like Diluc was under some sort of spell. “You’re dating a harbinger! That man killed father! He’s murdered people, his organization killed Master Crepus. Do you just not care!?”

Childe turned his head at the structure of words. ‘Father’ implies their father, as in… Diluc’s brother? But Diluc said it was just him and his dad growing up.

“Kaeya, I understand, really, I do,” Childe being a part of the Fatui was the reason why Diluc was so hesitant to date him in the first place, and the reason why he kept his relationship so private. ”

There was no way Diluc could understand this!?

“I met Ajax a long time ago, and since then, he’s proven to me that he can be trusted.” Diluc knew he must sound insane to Kaeya right now. The man who disappeared to Snezhnaya for four years to get rid of the Fatui is dating a Fatui harbinger. He doesn’t blame Kaeya for believing he’s brainwashed, because if someone told him eight years ago that he’d fall in love with a harbinger, he’d curse them for saying such distasteful words. “I… don't mean to disrespect father. I’ve fought with myself about this decision too, but I've ultimately ended up… here.”

Kaeya looked like he was about to lose his mind

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long have you and… Ajax… been dating?” Kaeya asked. He muttered Childe’s name with such utter disgust, it made Diluc’s chest ache with concern. Perhaps, if he cooperated with Kaeya, he could convince him not to tell anyone.

“A year.” A year that this has gone undetected. Maybe Diluc was right, the knights need to be better trained. “Four since we’ve known each other.” four years ago was the year Diluc returned from Snezhnaya.

Kaeya felt sick, which may have been because of the untreated blood loss, but also how Diluc could turn his back on him in favor of Childe. Diluc noticed the way Kaeya slightly swayed, as if he was trying to keep himself up.

“Kaeya, let me-”

“So four years is enough for you to forgive someone who killed father and many other innocent civilians, but your whole life isn’t nearly enough time for you to forgive your brother?”

…

“What?”

“Have I not also proven to you that I'm worth your forgiveness?” Kaeya spoke much softer now. His expression held disbelief, anger, confusion, and an unbearable look of hurt. Kaeya held his arms tighter, not sure if it was to stop blood loss anymore or to keep his emotions stable. “I became cavalry captain, took on multiple commissions a day, cleared out hilichurl camps, abyss deployments, leylines, defended Mondstadt with my life and I’m still a traitor in your eyes?”

What could Childe possibly have done to convince Diluc he wouldn’t betray him, because Kaeya’s been trying to do that for years, he’d like some advice.

Diluc opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't. It was only then when he realized He's never taken Kaeya’s innocence into consideration for quite some time. He has forgiven Kaeya, he did a long time ago, but he never said that to him, and he let Kaeya believe he didn't.

Of course, Kaeya wouldn't bring this subject up first. He was never the type to communicate his feelings, but Diluc was, he could have said something first and he didn't.

Kaeya was serious when he referred to himself as Crepus’s son, and when he’d call Diluc ‘brother’. But Diluc was so blinded by the scenario he made up in his head that Kaeya didn't forgive him.

Of course, Kaeya forgave him, Kaeya would always forgive him, because Kaeya is stupid.

“No, that isn’t-.” Diluc stuttered, trying to find the right words that truly projected his feelings. Kaeya gripped harder, at this point, he was squeezing the blood out of his body, making his wound worse.

“I’m sorry.” Kaeya interrupted. His headache was back in full force and he was overcome by exhaustion. He hadn’t realized he was overdue for an apology. He felt so ridiculous for saying this, he had no right to yell at Diluc like that. “This is silly, I’m sorry.”

Kaeya turned around, and without looking back, he said, “Have a goodnight, you two.”

This was the first time Diluc was at a loss for words. He should be chasing after Kaeya to ensure he doesn't pass out from blood loss, but Kaeya was embarrassed, and he hated being seen after making a fool of himself. He remembered when Kaeya snuck under the bridge to avoid being seen when he tripped in front of high honor guests when they were knights. But Kaeya-

“Brother?” He heard Childe call from behind him. Diluc turned around, wide eyed with a a conflicted expression.

Diluc nodded, he should have mentioned it before, because Kaeya was and will always be his brother. He was so stupid.

Chapter Text

Kaeya successfully made it home without passing out. His body had adjusted to the pain by now. He needed to get this treated, quick. 

Kaeya cleaned the wound and wrapped his arm in some cloth. If anyone asks, just say it was a difficult treasure hoarder. He needed to sleep to quicken his recovery, or should he eat something to help ease his headache? He can’t get a goodnight’s rest with a pounding pain in his head. But there was no guarantee that food would make his headache go away, considering how tired he was, he'd probably sleep through the pain anyway.

Kaeya got in bed, careful to not put any pressure on his arm. 

He so terribly wanted to sleep, but his mind was racing. What caused him to lash out like that? He shouldn’t have said all that, even if it was what he was truly feeling. He was acting as if Diluc didn’t have a reason for his actions. 

Kaeya let out a groan, before shutting his eyes and forcing himself asleep.

The next morning, Kaeya returned to work, successfully hiding his wounds from his peers. He didn’t have time for breakfast, so he made sure to eat a heavy lunch at Good Hunter’s to replenish his body.

The pain in his head remained, but it was only a mild migraine. Kaeya sighed to himself, rubbing his temples in frustration. What a truly odd position he’s found himself in. 

Had he overreacted? Perhaps.… Diluc is dating a harbinger of the Fatui, any resident of Mondstadt would be enraged if their beloved Master Diluc betrayed them in such a way, but was Kaeya really upset about that?

In all honesty, he wasn’t. Kaeya didn’t care too much about Diluc dating Childe, at least, not to the extent he seemed to. What he truly was upset about was how Diluc could love a harbinger before loving him. 

What he said was true, even if Kaeya messed up terribly, Childe had to be far worse than him, right? And even if Childe was some hero in disguise, Kaeya thought he made his stance clear. He’d put his life on the line if it meant Mondstadt was safe, even if it was against his birth land, especially if it was against his birth land.

Though Kaeya didn’t realize his loyalty when their fight occurred, he sure as hell did now. 

You know what, what even was his goal in all this? To prove Diluc was dating a Fatui? He knew that from the first time he caught them, what sparked the next 3 days? To humiliate Diluc? Why would he bother to do that? The fear of a traitor in Mondstadt? Diluc would be the last to do that. The fear of a rat getting into Mondstadt via Diluc’s manipulated emotions? He’s sure Diluc would have caught on by now, besides, it seemed like Childe was protecting Diluc when he attacked. 

What was he even documenting? Who would he even tell? 

Why did he do all this?

“Kaeya.” That voice sent shivers down his spine. His body tensed up before his gaze fell on the blonde woman standing besides him. “Mind if I join?”

“Oh- why, of course, Jean. Your presence is always welcome.” He smiled. For some reason, he felt an overwhelming sense of dread in his chest, it made his stomach drop.  

Jean sat down in front of him and his brain went wild. Jean is in charge of officiating punishment by the church, if anyone found out about this, Diluc would surely get in trouble, maybe even exile? Kaeya didn’t want that. 

No, Jean wouldn’t do such a thing… she loved Diluc too much, but as the acting grandmaster, she’d have to make sacrifices. Her relationship with Diluc would have no say in what the people rule, maybe she’d even do so with a stoic attitude, she is a tough woman.

“Kaeya?” Oh! How stupid of him to zone out! “Are you alright?” 

He scoffs and leans back in his chair. “Of course!” Kaeya crosses his legs and puts on a proud face. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jean gives him a funny look. Kaeya was a known liar, but for some reason, his facade couldn’t escape Jean’s sharp eyes. 

“Sure you are…” she said, taking a sip of the juice she ordered. “And here?” Kaeya didn’t even notice Jean’s hand slip up and grip on his forearm. His breath hitched in pain.

“Ahah! Right, I-…” his words failed him for a moment, and his posture shrunk pathetically. “It’s a nasty wound I received from a treasure hoarder last night.”

 “What were you doing out so late?” Jean asked. She had that concerned look in her eyes that felt so motherly to Kaeya, like he couldn’t disobey her.

“Just taking a walk.”

“Alone?”

“And unarmed.”

“Kaeya!” She scolded, palming her forehead. “You know better than that! Archons, It’s a miracle you even come home in one piece sometimes.”

Kaeya let out a laugh, she was right. It was his fault for believing he was safe without a weapon.

“I know, sorry.” He spoke softly, burying his head in his hands. He felt bad for hiding something so big from his best friend, and even worse now he was getting scolded for something he didn’t even do.

Jean noticed his melancholy attitude and immediately took back her words. If Kaeya could crumble under something like that, something must have happened. Kaeya put his hands to the side of his head, creating a shield for his face, making it so only Jean could see his shameful expression.

“I apologize in advance if my work isn’t up to par today, It’s been quite a week.” Kaeya whispered, embarrassed. He hated performing anything less than perfect, but unfortunately, this whole situation was enough to drag Kaeya’s spirits down.

Jean leaned in, trying to hear Kaeya’s meek voice. “Take a break, Kaeya.” She said, a serious look on her face. All Kaeya could do was laugh and accept. 

Jean escorted Kaeya back home. Even though Kaeya didn’t enjoy taking vacations, he was thankful for this one. Imagine if people saw the great Cavalry Captain swaying like a drunkard on patrol? Oh, he’d never hear the end of it from Amber.

Jean didn’t leave until she made sure Kaeya was in bed and asleep, which wasn’t the most comfortable having someone breathe down your back as you lay awake.

Eventually, Kaeya was able to fall asleep again. Oh Barbartoes, he needs a drink when he wakes up.

…

Diluc didn’t see Kaeya that night. 

Things went smoothly. Kaeya felt a thousand times better than the day before and he was able to fulfill his duties… under Jean’s watchful eye. 

An easy day was exactly what he needed, and a drink.

“Kaeya!” Venti called for him with Rosaria in tow. He placed a hand on Kaeya’s shoulder with a cheerful smile. “I’ve finally caught you! Are you free tonight? It’s been a while since you’ve been to the tavern.”

Kaeya greeted Venti and Rosaria with a charming grin. “Venti, Rosaria, yes, I’ll be there tonight.” 

“Awesome!” Venti nudged Kaeya’s arm. Rosaria joined, wrapping one arm around Kaeya.

“I’m glad you’ll be joining us.” She said.

Kaeya chuckled as he was dragged to the tavern, successfully hiding his dread. As much as he wanted a drink, he didn’t know how he could approach Diluc after his outburst. Would it be awkward? Ah- such a silly question, of course it would. He should avoid Diluc as much as possible, but not too much to spark concern.

They entered the tavern and were welcomed with the cheers of their party, many of them had been missing Kaeya’s presence. Kaeya felt like some kind of prince with all the attention he received.

The atmosphere almost put him at ease, until he was met face to face with Diluc, who’s full attention was on him, a massive contrast to how distinct Diluc’s been the past few weeks. 

Kaeya didn’t falter, he put on a brave face and sat in his usual spot.

“One Death Afteroon, please.” Kaeya said with a smile. 

“Evening to you, Kaeya.” Diluc replied coldly, before turning to make Kaeya’s drink. Kaeya didn’t reply, he wanted to keep their conversations as short as possible.

He thanked Diluc once he received his drink and turned his body away from the counter. The tavern was lively, it seemed like everyone had plans on this fine night. Kaeya engulfed himself in the conversations and games, he sung along to the songs Venti played, he drank until he couldn’t any longer.

Diluc kept a keen eye on him the entire night. It was obvious Kaeya was busying himself to avoid him, he wasn’t always so involved like this, if he was, it was a celebratory party. 

By the end of the night, Kaeya was out of it. His head rested against the counter top as he continued talking with Rosaria. 

“Tavern’s closed.” Diluc said, firmly. 

Kaeya picked his head up and Rosaria straightened her posture. Rosaria downed the rest of her drink in one quick gulp, wished the two a good night, and left. Usually, Kaeya would talk his way into staying after hours for a bit, but he was quick to gather his belongings this time.

“Hmph, time really flies by when you’re having fun,” Kaeya said quietly, paying his tab and trying to break the awkward tension between him and Diluc. “What a pity. Well, I’ll see you lat-”

“You told her, didn’t you?” 

Diluc interrupted with such urgency Kaeya’s never heard before. The grip on the glass he was cleaning grew tighter.

“Huh? Told who what?” Kaeya asked. He hadn’t said a word to anyone about Diluc.

“Jean, I-I saw you talking to Jean.” Oh. He must have seen that. From afar, it was easy to mistake their heart-to-heart as a gossip session, to be fair. “You told her about Ajax and I, right?”

Kaeya shook his head. “No, not at all.” Maybe it was the alcohol, but he was surprisingly calm when he faced Diluc. “What reason would I have to tell her? Or anyone for that matter?”

He was sure that response would bring Diluc to rest, but his tense demeanor remained. “Really? You didn’t?” He asked, almost in disbelief.

Kaeya was offended that Diluc thought he was lying. “Not a word. Why does it matter?” He knew why it mattered, he was just talking stupid at this point.

Diluc leaned his body forward, slightly bending over the counter to get closer to Kaeya’s face. “Kaeya, please-.” Diluc started, before his words died in his throat. Kaeya’s eyes widened at the sudden action. Diluc had this… desperate look in his eyes, one that was filled with worry and fear.

 “Please don’t speak of this to anyone, ever. That’s all I ask.” Diluc begged, his voice was loud and frantic. “No one can know. I-I understand if you think it’s an appropriate response to all that I’ve ever done to you, but please, please, please keep this secret for me. I’ll do anything!”

Now what was Kaeya supposed to do? He had an absolutely terrified Diluc in front of him with no clue how to reassure him. “Alright, alright, Diluc, I need you to calm down.” Kaeya raised both his hands as if he was surrendering. He grabbed Diluc by the shoulders and guided him to a seat close to him.

“Listen to me carefully,” As gentle as Kaeya spoke, Diluc still looked nervous. “I have no plans on telling anyone about your relationship with the harbinger.” He said that last part much quieter, as if there was some spy listening to their every words 

“I understand the consequences if any of this is recognized, and that’s not something I want to put you through.” Diluc nodded along to show he was listening. “But I need you to be careful,  I don't want you to end up hurt because of that man, whether it be physically or mentally, do you understand?”

Diluc nodded again. Kaeya sighed, he felt like he wasn’t getting through with Diluc like this. He wondered if this was how Diluc felt when they were kids, having to constantly remind the other over and over that they were safe and no one was judging his small mistakes.

“Goodness, I feel like you’re the drunk one here.” Kaeya stood up and went behind the counter. “Where do you keep the water? Oh- ah, never mind, I found it.”

Maybe if he seemed casual it would put Diluc at ease? This whole interaction was beginning to freak Kaeya out too as the effects of the alcohol began to wear off. Kaeya grabbed a glass for himself just in case. He passed the glass to Diluc, and just as he was about to sit down, Diluc spoke.

“How’s your arm?” He said, taking his eyes off the glass and back up at Kaeya. He sat down and rolled up his sleeve.

“Fine, patched it all by myself.” Kaeya said proudly. He’s always leaned on other people when he was younger, so his independence was a great value to him, but Diluc thought otherwise. 

Diluc let out a distressed sigh and buried his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Kaeya…”

…huh? What was Diluc apologizing for?

“I’m so sorry, for everything. H-he thought you were a threat, he didn’t know you were my brother, I-… I didn’t think he’d hurt you.” Diluc sounded so broken, it started to freak Kaeya out. It’s been a while since he’s seen Diluc in this state, it was also when Kaeya declared he didn’t want to see Diluc like that ever again.

“It’s… alright?” He said hesitantly, almost as if he was questioning his own answer.

Of course, Kaeya thought it was alright. He’s so stupid… it wasn’t ‘alright’! It was anything but that.

“I didn’t tell Ajax that you were my brother because I thought you didn’t consider me as one, I didn’t want to disrespect your wishes, so I never mentioned it.” Diluc spoke quieter, his voice trembled ever so slightly. “I- I’ve always forgiven you, I have. But I never found the appropriate time to tell you, and I thought you had already moved on, so…”

This is ridiculous, Diluc is ridiculous, he’s being stupid. On one hand, he was happy Diluc forgave him, even if it took eight years to actually learn of it, on the other hand, Diluc seriously couldn’t believe such a thing. He’s always tried to talk with Diluc, was that not enough of a sign that he wanted to reconcile? 

“Ahah… you’re not as sharp as I thought, Diluc.” Kaeya tried to remain optimistic. “Of course I forgive you, had I not made that obvious? I thought I did.” 

Yes, because calling Diluc ‘brother’ and calling himself Master Crepus’s ‘adopted son’ screams ‘I don’t forgive you’! … hm, to be fair, he did stop calling Master Crepus ‘father’ after a while, every time he did, Diluc would give him this death glare.

“Look, what you did that night was reasonable, I panicked and piled more stress upon you.” Kaeya said. “I have nothing to forgive you for, it’s always been you to forgive me.”

Diluc shook his head, he didn’t believe that. He tried to take Kaeya’s life, there was nothing more sinful than that. He didn’t have the energy to argue with Kaeya right now.

“I’m sorry.” Diluc couldn’t fully grasp his thoughts. His brain failed to process sentences and he failed to word them. 

“Diluc, I just said-.”

“I’m sorry.” 

…

Kaeya sighed and let out a laugh. 

“I forgive you.”

He pulled Diluc in for a half side hug, knowing Diluc’s distaste for physical touch. To Kaeya’s surprise, Diluc leaned into it, hiding his face in Kaeya’s shoulder. 

‘Huh…’ Kaeya thought to himself, his eye landed on Diluc’s red hair that was tickling his neck. He smiled before taking a sip from his water. ‘How pleasant.’ Best not to say anything, Diluc would be embarrassed.

 How stupid they had been.