Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW opened a memo on board BATTLE STRATEGY MEETING 1

CAG: Alright! I’m only going to m8ke one memo so everyone should give their attention to here for the rest of the strategy meeting.
CAG: And I’m only expl8ining this once. Not going back and forth with myself like some l8me ass, lol.

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo board

CCG: FUCK YOU
CCG: AT LEAST I’M NOT GOING OFF TO DIE IN SOME HALF-ASSED PLAN TO SLAUGHTER WHAT MAY VERY WELL BE A MINOR GOD
CCG: HAVE YOU ALL FORGOTTEN THAT? I’M PRETTY SURE IT WAS EXPLAINED TO US IN EXPLICIT DETAIL BY THE CREEPY MALFORMED GHOSTS FOLLOWING US AROUND THAT THE GIANT MONSTERS ON THE OTHER WORLDS ARE NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH

CAG: They’re “Sprites” Karkat, not “Malformed ghosts”. And who the hell cares what THEY think?
CAG: They’re NPC’S who are probably programmed to stop us from really doing fun shit. You know, stopping us from getting ahead?
CAG: And we’ve been going at a snaaaaaaaails p8ce! I’m SICK of it! So, I’m getting us ahead and s8ving us some time. You’re welcome!

CCG: YOU AND THE REST OF THOSE MORONS ARE GOING TO MARCH RIGHT TO YOUR DEATHS, AND IT WILL HAVE BEEN A HUGE WASTE OF TIME AND ENERGY THAT COULD’VE BEEN SPENT DOING SOME ACTUAL MEANINGFUL SHIT.
CCG: HAVE YOU EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF “GETTING AHEAD”? WHAT IF YOUR HEEDLESS IDIOCY BREAKS THE GAME? THEN WHAT?

CURRENT [several users] RIGHT NOW responded to memo board

CAG: For What It’s Worth, I Also Don’t Think It’s A Very Sound Plan
CAG: But I Don’t Think There Is Any Real Harm In Hearing Her Out Just This Once
CAG: She’s Right In That Our Progress Has Been Less Than Ideal We Haven’t Made Much Progress In Any Of Our Quests
CAG: And Many Of The Quests Seem Tied To The Existence Of These Supposed Denizens That Dwell Beneath The Surface Of The Planets
CAG: If Anything Killing The Denizens Might Just Solve Some Of Our Problems

CGC: K4RK4T YOU H4V3 B33N STUCK W4NDER1NG 4ROUND TH4T S4M3 CH3RRY FL4VOR3D WORLD FOR 4BOUT 4 W1P3 NOW
CGC: W3’R3 G3TT1NG NOWH3R3 1N TH1S G4M3 4ND 4T TH1S R4T3 1 TH1NK 1T’S F41R TO S4Y TH4T W3….M1GHT B3…

CCG: I SWEAR TO FUCK IF YOU SAY WE’RE “STUCK” AGAIN I’M GOING TO DESTROY MY MONITOR

CGC: ….
CGC: >:]
CGC: W3’R3 STUCK
CGC: SOFTLOCK3D 3V3N

CCG: THATS IT, FINE, GO OFF AND DIE FOOLISHLY FOR ALL I CARE
CCG: NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME, AND FOR SOME REASON WE’VE ALL DECIDED VRISKA IS A CREDIBLE SOURCE OF TRUST AND KNOWLEDGE SO I GUESS I’LL JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET EVERYONE MARCH TO THEIR DOOM

[CCG] has left the memo board

CAG: Y8AH TH8NKS!
CAG: Anyways…now that the 8itchiest whiner is gone, does anyone else wanna make their worthless opinion known 8efore I get down to the plan?
CAG: Anyone who’s not Tavros, 8tw

CAT: i WASN’T gOING tO rEALLY sAY aNYTHING bUT oKAY
CAT: i AGREE wITH vRISKA’S pLAN
CAT: iN cASE aNYONE wAS wONDERING

CAG: No one was wondering

CAT: oH…oKAY

CAG: The plan’s simple
CAG: We are all going to the strongest Denizen’s lair together, and as 8 group we will collectively kill him
CAG: We’ll t8ke the spoils of grist he will inevita8bly drop and use that to get ahead of this slow ass g8me!
CAG: Sl8ying a few imps is getting us jack shit, 8ut a Denizen has to 8e worth MILLIONS of grist
CAG: Afterwords, we’ll use the millions we g8ined to either sl8y the rest of the Denizens or solve those boring quests for each of ours worlds
CAG: It’s pretty fool proof, I know.
CAG: There’s no reality where we fail at this unless one of you fucks up along the w8y
CAG: The first order of 8usiness is getting in touch with our Aspects

CTA: ii don’t really feel liike goiing iinto the wood2 to mediitate or 2ome 2hiit
CTA: why cant we just make more 2trong weapon2 wiith alchemy instead of dealiing wiith the whole aspect2 2tuff? iit’2 pretty lame anyway2
CTA: and the power2 are so vague

CGC: 1’V3 B33N G3TT1NG 4TTUN3D TO MY S33R POW3R’S 4ND 1T D1DN’T R3QU1R3 M3D1T4T1NG 4T 4LL
CGC: JUST 4 LOT OF SL33P
CGC: YOU DON’T DO MUCH 4NYW4Y’S SOLLUX SO WH4T D1FF3R3NC3 DO3S SL33P M4K3

CAG: We can’t advance with the plan unless everyone gets 8 little used to their aspects!
CAG: If you have to sleep through it to learn, fine!
CAG: 8ut 8nyone not ready in time will 8e left 8ehind!
CAG: We’ll kill the Denizen without you and you won’t get 8ny grist!
CAG: I’ll check back in the future for when it’s officially GO time
CAG: let’s get ahead of this l8me g8me!

CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW closed a memo on board BATTLE STRATEGY MEETING 1

Karkat still believed it to be an incredibly stupid idea, and had tried to convince the rest of them to stop listening to Serket’s insane plans. Nobody would listen, though, and were fully set on the idea that things were going too slowly for their tastes. He scowled to himself as he continued on in his own world, the Land of Pulse and Haze, its desolate, arid environment an all too familiar sight now that he’d been there for around a sweep trying to complete his.

The small cohorts on the planet were very brainless, shadowy figures that dressed themselves in layers and shawls to hide their faces. Karkat could only see their eyes, and could barely interpret what they wanted from him. Normally, he’d get angry at one of them, yell a bit at how nonsensical they sounded, and storm off until he tried again later on.

Despite his slow going efforts, however, he had some small hope that he was making progress. When they first entered the session, they’d split into two teams to compete against one another. However, that soon proved to be incredibly inconvenient given the structure of the games quests. The teams and partners they’d made were often split up on their own worlds, and they rarely had time to actually go against one another in some capacity. So, they all eventually decided to go with the flow, and just focus on their own worlds quests.

Whoever could complete their quest the fastest would obviously be hailed as the winner, at least that's what Karkat assumed given he had never let go of the competitiveness of the game. Being isolated from the rest of them just made competing even more appealing to him, and it made him want to strive to finish his quest.

He stood in an area that looked similar to some open market, populated by the shadowy cohorts who were no doubt selling all kinds of unidentifiable wares, and sighed as he sulked past them all. He looked down at the small crabscaller he’d made to talk on the go, and read over the memo with an annoyed face. Get in touch with my aspect…? What a load of shit. Karkat couldn’t even begin to wonder what a Knight of Blood could do.

It sounded cool but so did a lot of the aspects, and they all turned out to be pretty fucking useless after all things were considered. He’d been sleeping as much as he could without a recuperacoon and sopor, and so far he’d not gotten any closer to learning about his aspect.

He’d dream, wake up on Prospit, float around a bit, and see absolutely nothing worth remembering when he woke up again. He wasn’t a Seer, or Sylph, or whatever the fuck Kanaya and Terezi were, so looking at the clouds in the sky just revealed a bunch of useless information he had no way of discerning.

Karkat stopped at a stall in the cohorts bazaar and took what he thought were chocolate beetles from the seller. He’d pay, but none of them seemed to want his money even when he offered. He sat down on the side, munching away as he thought about his next move.

I can’t understand a damn thing anyone on this planet is saying. It’s like they’re all whispering constantly! He thought sullenly as he noticed again that the cohort who gave him this snack had indeed said something to him. But, the tone was so low, and hushed, and hidden behind 5 layers of cloth, that it was near impossible for him to really get it.

However, what he has been able to surmise from other things and just baseless guesswork is that they’re all waiting for “The Knight to give them a voice.”

He’d read that line in some abandoned ruins on a stone stelle, thankfully chiseled in Alternian so he could actually read it.

The silent treatment seems to be part of this world's gimmick. How ANNOYING! I bet the others are just lazy and don’t have to deal with quiet peons all day to do their quests. At least they can TALK to their cohorts! Karkat took an especially angry bite before throwing the rest of the snack away.

Vriska had given everyone a deadline to figure out their aspects and that spelled trouble for him. No one on this planet could give him advice, he wasn’t strong enough to go and see the Denizen dwelling deep in the planet’s core, and his dreams revealed nothing of substance.

Karkat wasn’t going to admit defeat so easily, however. He had one clue, and the one week he had spent just talking with the cohorts and trying to understand them had led him to what he’d needed to start the quest in the first place. Suddenly, just as he was about to stand to go for another long walk, Carashawlsprite appeared with the signature sound of it’s clicking crab like claws.

Karkat jolted in surprise, and mentally cursed himself out for not getting used to how sudden this bastard could show up. Another issue that he hadn’t really addressed yet, but which was becoming pressingly difficult: his Sprite was also mostly silent.

Being in a hurry and seeing the death of his lusus at the beginning of the game, Karkat had just thrown in any secondary item he had with him after he entered the Medium. He had prototyped the kernel with his Lusus which was what everyone else had done, but he didn’t have much of anything in his room aside from a lone scrappy gray shawl. Carashawlsprite was made, but it was useless. It didn’t speak to Karkat and it’s communication skills were about the same as his Lusus’, but with less purpose, and more vague platitudes.

Karkat had made it this far by either asking the others what they were up to, or Carashawlsprite pointing him in a different direction every so often. He’d only found this bazaar because the Sprite had raised its red claw in this very direction, and Karkat, having nothing better to do then, walked until he reached it.

“Where did you run off to all day, huh?” Karkat asked the Sprite. It obviously didn’t answer back. Karkat sighed and exasperatedly laid back in the dirt. The Sprite dropped a large burlap sack full of things next to him, and he craned his head to peer at the lumpy object. He sat up, curiously inching a hand toward the sack before he looked inside.

“This is just a bag full of empty jars…” Karkat had half a mind to throw them back to the Sprite, but something about its pensive stare made him think twice. “Where did you get this?”

It pointed a claw to the left and Karkat spotted the modified Alchemiter he’d set up and had to constantly pack away on his journeys across the world. So, the Sprite made these empty jars and then just handed them to him? He counted 11 in total.

Well it wouldn’t be the first time my Lusus brought me useless crap. He shrugged, and decided to keep a hold of it for later. If a later ever came that is.

The rest of the day was spent wandering about, trying to understand the cohorts again, failing as usual. His lusus didn’t give him any new items after that.

CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW opened a memo on board BATTLE STRATEGY MEETING 1

"CAG: Is everyone finally ready!? I’m so fucking ready for this 8attle. I’ve 8ecome SUCH a gr8 Thief!
CAG: Light is practically my own toy now.
CAG: I hope you’re ready 8ecause I will not w8 8ehind for anyone, you’re either in or you’re out!

CCG: I STILL THINK THIS PLAN IS STUPID AS FUCK
CCG: BUT YES I’M READY
CCG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT DENIZEN WE’RE FIGHTING YET

CAA: we’re g0ing to meet mine.
CAA: his name is Phaeth0n.
CAA: i was already attuned t0 the aspect 0f time s0 there was n0 need f0r me t0 “train” bef0rehand.
CAA: i am 0nly agreeing t0 this f00lish plan because it is 0ne 0f many things that i kn0w must be put int0 place.

CAG: Yeah, yeah sure, whatever creepy nonsense you got up to I don’t care a8out at all.
CAG: The only thing that really matters is your mastery over time!
CAG: You all have the loc8tion! Aradia’s planet is a hop aw8y so let’s all meet there and get this show on the road.

The memo soon closed after a hearty round of excitement at the idea. It seemed everyone had gotten somewhat attuned to their aspect. Everyone except for Karkat, who decided he’d just wing it the whole way. He didn’t need “Blood” to hold his own in any capacity! He could do this easily just as he was now with a sickle in his hand, and a lot of determination. With some help from his Sprite, they soon made their way offworld through the portal high in the sky, until they reached Aradia’s world.

The battle was over before it had even begun. Karkat walked into the cavernous depths of the Denizen’s lair, the others boldly walking in front with Vriska leading the charge. They all had their weapons at the ready, and enough of an “understanding” of their Aspects, that they hoped would be enough to fell Phaethon: the Denizen beneath the Land of Quartz and Melody. The cave that Phaethon resided in was crystalline and full of sharp edges.

A blinding light came from deep inside of the cave that they followed slowly, until they came upon the hulking, snake like figure that dwelled within. Karkat tried looking at its face, but his eyes hurt from the way the light bounced off of the shiny rock walls. He shielded his face as best as he could as the light grew brighter and brighter, Phaethon’s face the main source.

He heard a scream next to him. It sounded like Terezi. He wanted to open his eyes, and maybe get a look at the battle that was surely happening around him, but it was useless. A warm spray of something wet, and light hit his cheek, and Karkat fell back as he slipped on something beneath his foot.

“Guys?! What the fuck is happening! I can’t see shit!” He couldn’t tell if anyone was actually engaging in battle, if anyone was winning. He tried to stand up again, grab a hold of his Sickle’s handle, but the floor beneath him was wet with something.

Soon, the desperate crying was silenced and the light abated.

Karkat blinked his eyes open, to a sight he wished he had never been allowed to see at all. The whole cavern was a wash with the various colors of his friends blood. Their bodies had been pierced clean through by the very sharp crystals that made up the Denizen’s home. His vision was still spotty with the haze of the light, and at points he couldn’t make out what was the natural coloring of the opaque crystals and what was blood. A roiling sickness turned his stomach and he turned to the side and retched up whatever he ate that morning, the shock of the sight turning his whole world upside down.

He hurriedly scooted back away from the scene and jolted when he mistakenly ran into Nepeta’s poor torso, skewered through the middle by a wide crystal stalactite. He way, for intents and purposes, freaking the fuck out by then.

“Do not leave this place yet, Knight. I have words for you.” A booming voice unusual for what was before a serene cave sounded above him, and Karkat could finally see into the face of this Denizen without the light obstructing his view. Shivers wracked his body as he stood on two, uncertain legs. The handle of his Sickle was loose in his hand as he tried to muster some kind of strength to keep looking into this monster’s eyes. Phaethon regarded him in cold silence, his flat emotionless face like that of a sleeping, porcelain doll.

His turquoise, serpentine body winded in circles beneath him, and melded into the crystal around the cave, making it seem as if he was one with the giant structure around them. Phaethon’s face was too much like a person's, and not enough like a monster's. It deeply disturbed Karkat, he was thankful Phaethon’s eyes were at least closed as he spoke.

“Knight of Blood…I can tell from the way you are frightened to the core of your soul that you did not want this. I can look deep into your small, insignificant being and see the soul within that wanted no parts of this foolish endeavour.” Phaethon spoke. “For that alone I am willing to offer you a Choice. The Ultimate Choice. This will be your only chance.”

Karkat was still silent ashe fought to find his voice to respond at all. He found that gripping tightly to the blade of his Sickle grounded him enough to speak.

“What is this choice?” He wasn’t going to fight Phaethon after seeing the Denizen make an example out of his whole friend group in seconds. He might as well hear the Denizen out. Maybe he’ll give me a swift death. That’d be pretty nice.

“I am not going to kill you. Unless you are stupid enough to follow in your friends footsteps. You can dash that thought from your mind.” Phaethon says with a hint of amusement. Karkat’s even more unnerved that even his own mind isn’t safe from this strange being. “The Choice is rather simple. You can continue to play this game alone, make it to the end, and I will just provide you with the left over power your friends amassed up until this point to help you along the way. That will be my only form of assistance, however.”

That sounded like a terrible idea, and would most certainly result in a doomed session.

“The other Choice is more draining, but I can guarantee that it will not result in your doom. Your friends will complete the game alongside you. And you will proceed as you were before you came to my cave. But you alone will be the singular host for all of their souls.” Phaethon ended his speech then, and Karkat blanked trying to make sense of that last offer.

“What do you mean by host?” it certainly didn’t sound pleasant for one thing.

“It is as it seems. You 12 will complete the game with 1 body. And that body will be yours. The game will recognize you all as 12, but it shall physically only be 1. They will do their will through you, Knight.” Ah, so just straight up possession? Karkat hated both options and realized then that he was probably doomed no matter what. Though he had to admit, the thought of going through all of this alone…even if there was a small chance he could possibly bring everyone back like nothing happened, maybe it would be worth it in the end.

The First Choice was to doom him to be alone, without the help of anyone in this impossibly difficult game. The second at least assured him he could bring the rest of the others back in some way. There was some, small pathetic part of him that wouldn’t admit that really he was deathly afraid of being alone at that moment.

Karkat nodded grimly, “Okay I understand. I choose the second Choice? I don’t know how something like that will exactly work, but it’s not as shitty as the first option, so…” To his shock, Phaethon had the nerve to laugh.

“Yes, I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked that a Knight of Blood would shrink from the first choice. To be solitary isn’t in your nature.” Phaethon said to him. “As for how it shall work, I believe it is time for you to do as your foolish spider friend had asked of you prior to this visit: Get attuned to the aspect of Blood. Fortunately for you, I shall teach you the first lesson, and thanks to your class you shall understand it without much trouble. You will make an Oath to me.”

Chapter Text

It is deathly quiet in the middle of the desert, there isn’t even any wind to disturb the large dunes. As he starts a small camp fire using some spoils from a nearby dune dwelling, Karkat thinks he would welcome some winds, if only to have a reprieve from the usual noise bouncing around his head.

Vriska: come ON already! We can’t just sit here and do NOTHING all day, we have to exploooooooore!
Vriska: Don’t you WANT to find treasure? Spoils of old 8attles long finished? It 8eats staying out here in Tavros’ l8me desert all damn d8y, that’s for fucking sure.

Tavros: uM, FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH, MY PLANET HAS BEEN THE ONLY ONE HE’S BEEN ABLE TO GET REAL FOOD FROM
Tavros: cONSISTENTLY, I MEAN
Tavros: sO, CHEW ON THAT,,, FOR A WHILE, HEH

Kanaya: I Fear That Means Nothing In The Grand Scheme Of Things Considering Food Isn’t Really A Priority For Karkat
Kanaya: At Least Not Anymore
Kanaya: I’m Pretty Sure The Oath Makes Certain He Will Never Truly Die From Something As Trivial As Hunger
Kanaya: Just From Other Far More Dangerous Things Like Breaking Said Oath By Doing Something Truly Stupid And Dying For A Cause Different Than What He’s Already Promised.
Kanaya: Which Is Exactly Why We Shouldn’t Explore Today

Vriska: L8ME, totally 8ORING the only time I’ve had any fun all sweep was when we were exploring those weird, triangular ruins
Vriska: We should do more of that kind of thing!

Karkat had long since given up on ever thinking of tuning the voices of his friends out of his mind. They were as much a part of him as his own thoughts were, which was equal parts annoying as it was meddlesome and embarrassing.

Karkat: THIS IS THE PRICE YOU PAID VANTAS…DEAL WITH IT…

Vriska: You can say that again. Or rather, think a8out it again. Enough with your moping, what are we doing tomorrow?
Vriska: If we can’t explore today, may8e….

Karkat felt exhaustion seeping through his bones, and he yawned leaning against the pommel of his sickle. The weapon, which was once unwieldy in his own grasp with how large it was, now lay behind him in the sand. Its sharp, curved metallic blade was covered with faded colorful marks, the most prominent being a familiar cerulean who was currently still nagging away at him in his mind.

Karkat: SURE, TOMORROW…NOW CAN YOU BE QUIET?
Karkat: I HAVE HALF A MIND TO WIPE YOUR BLOOD OF THE SICKLE

That would make her go quiet until he reapplied more later. Her voice would at least become a little bit above a whisper in his mind, but she wouldn’t be totally silent. None of them would be. Ever.

Vriska: FINE. I concede, 8ut tomorrow we’re totally exploring more ruins!
Vriska: Count on it!

Terezi: 3XPLOR1NG 1S 4LL W3 3V3R DO 4NYW4YS
Terezi: W3’R3 CLOS3 TO F1ND1NG 4ND K1LL1NG 4BR4X4S WH1CH 1S ON3 MOR3 D3N1Z3N DOWN
Terezi: 1 TH1NK W3’R3 W4ST1NG TOO MUCH T1M3 H3R3

Karkat reached over towards the curved blade of the sickle and wiped a carapaced hand over it, smearing away the remaining blood stains. His friends continued to chatter incessantly in his mind, but now it was more like background noise than anything. He sighed, laid back onto the sand, and closed his eyes as the sun set. Every day for the past 7 years he’d been slowly making his way through this endless game, fulfilling the ridiculous oath he made to Phaethon.

He should’ve known there was always a catch when it came to these kinds of important Choices, and now he was paying dearly for it in the most unusual way. Phaethon had been telling the truth in that they would all complete this game together and with one body, what he didn’t mention were the disembodied voices that’d permanently speak in his head, or the strange urges to do what his friends used to do in their bodies.

Karkat scowled, remembering the first few weeks of sharing his own body with his friends. His feet janked and moved on their own, while Vriska yelled in his head incessantly to “GET MOVING!”

That day, he walked with the worst headache imaginable as everyone still continued their prattle until he found a nearby stream. Without thinking of afterwards, he jumped into the water and held himself down until the voices quieted to a small whisper. The water around him turned into a murky coagulation of colors, and when he reemerged he wasn’t entirely clean of the blood, but the colors had certainly faded.

Finally…some peace and quiet…His headache persisted but he could at least think for himself finally without having them all talking at once. The next few years were a blur of going from world to world, killing the Denizen after much trial and error, and advancing slowly but surely to the end goal. Now, many years later he wasn’t even half way done with playing this game. He’d made it to Tavros’ world finally, putting it off for so long due to just not wanting to speak to the guy at all. Morning soon came, and he would have to start on his journey soon.

He awoke to the same lull in conversation that happened just in the back of his mind like always. He didn’t focus on what they were saying, and besides he wouldn’t be able to really hear them clearly until he put more of their blood on the sickle. In the meantime, Karkat decided it was time to start the day. He grabbed the sickle by its pommel, aptly named Oathkeeper by Phaethon himself, and slung over his shoulder as he walked the dunes. He had a few bottles of specific blood, the only trolls he really trusted to not talk his ear off or commandeer his body in the heat of battle for no real reason had the privilege of traveling on his person. The glass jars had been given to him so long ago on that day by Carashawlsprite. Two jars filled with teal and jade were tied to his waist for easy access. He uncapped the teal colored jar, and dipped his hand into the murky cold substance, before marking his chest with a large teal colored handprint. Terezi’s voice grew louder.

Terezi: 1’M JUST S4Y1NG W3 R34LLY C4N’T KNOCK 4LL OUR OPT1ONS OFF TH3 T4BL3 H3R3
Terezi: K4RK4T DO3SN’T S33M L1KE TH3 P1CKY TYP3 WH3N 1T COM3S TO FOOD SO-
Terezi: OH WH4TS TH1S?
Terezi: 4M 1 ON SP34K3R?

Karkat: I’M NOT A CALLING DEVICE BUT SURE LET’S GO WITH THAT
Karkat: DO YOU SMELL ANYTHING TO EAT OUT HERE?
Karkat: SOMETHING A LITTLE FUCKING EDIBLE AT LEAST
Karkat: I’M SICK OF EATING BUGS EVERY GODDAMNED DAY AND PRETENDING LIKE THAT’S SOME KIND OF PALATABLE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

Terezi: 4CTU4LLY 1 W4S JUST T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH4T W1TH TH3 OTH3RS
Terezi: 1 DO SM3LL SOM3TH1NG
Terezi: 4ND TH3R3 4R3 TH1NGS TO 34T…1 JUST N33D TO KNOW 1F YOUR SQ34M1SH
Terezi: DO YOU H4V3 TH3 GUTS TO…
Terezi: 34T ON3 OF THOS3 STUBBY LIL MOOB34ST COHORTS >:]?

Karkat had never thought about eating any of the cohorts, mostly because they were people shaped and he wasn’t a fucking monster. He may be a man toughened with years of using blood and a blade to talk with his friends, but he wasn’t going to go completely off the deep end. However, Terezi’s suggestion though it was incredibly insane even for her, Karkat still gave it some serious thought.

Terezi: TH1NK 4BOUT 1T
Terezi: TH3Y PROB4BLY T4ST3 L1K3 NORM4L MOOB34ST M34T
Terezi: TH3Y H4V3 HORNS 4ND HOOV3S
Terezi: 4ND 1 H4V3 B33N CR4V1NG 4 BURG3R FOR Y34RS NOW
Terezi: T4VROS 1S OBV1OUSLY V3RY 4G41NST THE 1DE4

Karkat snorted a laugh at that.

Karkat: OH WELL FUCK I GUESS WE CAN’T DO IT THEN IF TAVROS IS AGAINST IT
Karkat: MIGHT AS WELL KEEP EATING FUCKING BUGS I FIND IN THE DUNES AT THIS RATE
Karkat: I HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT EATING ONE OF THEM BUT IT WOULDN’T BE HARD I GUESS
Karkat: TO CATCH ONE ANYWAYS

He could hear another voice trying desperately to be heard above the whispers, and Terezi sighed.

Terezi: K4N4Y4 H4S SOM3 WORDS TO S4Y 4S W3LL

Karkat reached for the jade jar, and dabbed some of the blood on his shirt. Kanaya’s voice slowly came into his mind clearer than before.

Kanaya: While I Understand Everyone May Be On Edge On This Planet
Kanaya: Eating The Cohorts Is A Terrible Idea
Kanaya: For One They Are The Only Ones Who Know Where The Denizen Is

Terezi groaned loudly, and Karkat could almost envision her rolling her eyes at Kanaya’s stern voice.

Terezi: W3 WON’T 34T 4LL OF TH3M
Terezi: JUST SOM3
Terezi: TH3Y C4N’T 4LL B3 1MPORT4NT FOR TH1S WORLDS QU3ST

Kanaya: But There Isn’t A Way For Us To Accurately Check Which Cohorts Are Simple Minded NPCs With No Information Or Personal Agency
Kanaya: And Which Ones The Game Has Designated As Important For The Lore
Kanaya: What If You Eat A Cohort And They Were The Only Ones Who Could Help You Later On With Some Kind of Quest?
Kanaya: We Would Be Stuck Again
Kanaya: Softlocked Even

Terezi: 1 S33 YOUR PO1NT
Terezi: MY COUNT3R4RGUM3NT 1S TH4T 1T DO3SN’T M4TT3R B3C4US3 K4RK4T C4N US3 ON3 OF US TO F1GUR3 OUT WH1CH ON3S AR3 1MPORT4NT 4ND WH1CH ON3S 4R3N’T
Terezi: 4ND ST4T1ST1C4LLY SP43K1NG
Terezi: TH3Y C4N’T 4LL B3 1MPORT4NT
Terezi: W3 C4N 3V3N DO 4 QU3ST FOR ON3 OF TH3M 4ND TH3N 34T 1T 4FT3RWORDS!

Karkat: I CAN’T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT MOST OF THESE COHORTS WANT FROM ME ANYWAYS
Karkat: THEY’RE LIKE THE ONES ON MY WORLD BUT A MILLION TIMES MORE FUCKING STUPID AND QUIET
Karkat: AND ALL OF THEIR QUESTS THAT THEY SEND ME ON ARE SO SIMPLE IT MAKES ME WONDER WHY THEY DON’T DO IT THEMSELVES?
Karkat: LIKE, DO YOU REALLY NEED ME TO COLLECT 5 ROCKS FOR YOU AND BRING THEM BACK?
Karkat: I DON’T EVEN GET A GOOD REWARD OUT OF IT BECAUSE THEY’RE MOOBEASTS SO THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE MONEY OR VILLAGES

Kanaya: I Suppose Since This Is A World For Tavros That Makes Sense In A Way
Kanaya: It Was Built To Suit His Needs And What He Is Capable Of
Kanaya: That Aside, My Point Still Stands And I Think It Is A Terrible Idea
Kanaya: If We Keep Exploring We Will Possibly Find Other Things Besides Bugs To Eat

Terezi: I DON’T SM3LL 4NYTH1NG FOR M1L3S
Terezi: NOTH1NG 3XC3PT THOS3 D3L1C1OUS LOOK1NG COHORTS JUST B3GG1NG TO B3 SANDWH1CH3D B3TW33N TWO PI3C3S OF BR3AD W1TH COND1M3NTS

Karkat had been walking for a while, but stopped when he felt something solid beneath his feet. He looked down and tapped his toe along the sand, feeling it firm up where he touched. There was something beneath it. He knelt down to the ground, tuning out Kanaya and Terezi as he pushed aside the top layer of sand to reveal metal plating. What the hell…? He pushed aside more sand, revealing the metal ceiling of some kind of bunker that was buried quite shallowly in the ground. His hand touched a handle to a latched door, and he pulled it open.

Terezi: W3LL 1 GU3SS W3 DON’T H4V3 TO SP3ND 4LL D4Y OUTS1D3
Terezi: 1 H4T3 HOW TH3R3S NO SH4D3 4NYWH3R3 ON TH1S WORLD >:[
Terezi: OH BUT 1 DO SM3LL SOM3TH1NG 1N TH3R3!
Terezi: M4YB3 W3 WON’T H4V3 TO HUNT 4T 4LL 3ITH3R!

Karkat hoped so as well, because as hungry as he was, he didn’t exactly feel like befriending some poor creature, doing a simple task for it and then slaughtering it for a burger. Maybe if he got super desperate. He hopped down into the hole, it was dark but his eyes quickly adjusted to the room. He almost felt like he was back in his hive without the glaring sun blazing down on him at all times.

A large machine with many screens and a terminal connected to it was against the far wall, next to it an open chute contained canned foods he recognized from Alternia still unopened. He grabbed one and quickly pierced the top of the tan with a claw, before peeling it back and revealing something edible other than bugs to eat. Just before he was about to finally dig in, he heard feet clamboring from above as someone else made their way into the bunker. A cohort wrapped in a desert shawl with its hooves carefully manaeuvering down the ladder of the bunker turned to see Karkat standing there. It shouted in a low, beastly tone in surprise completely caught off guard.

Karkat got the sense that it was trying to say something to him, but just like he couldn’t understand what the cohorts on his own world were saying, he couldn’t decipher a fucking thing this guy wanted. Karkat had half a mind to ignore it in favor of eating the canned goods, but it was persistent in at least talking to him.

It gestured around excitedly at the room, he surmised it was explaining whatever this place was. It grabbed his hand much to Karkat’s annoyance and began to drag him toward the terminal. He had the feeling he’d accidentally stumbled upon a quest of some kind, which was doubly annoying as he didn’t feel like doing any more small favors for these cohorts. He needed to just find Abraxas, gut him with his sickle and then move on from this world in hopes that the next one wasn’t so barren.

He supposed he could humor this odd creature for a while and then get back to eating. Most of the cohorts only wanted simple tasks done anyways. He remembered seeing one of these terminals before, but that was so long ago when they had just begun to play this game. He questioned why one was here, seeing as he was pretty sure they were only supposed to show up on other worlds and not in the Medium. He clicked the familiar looking green button and waited as the screens came to life, blinking slowly on to reveal different parts of the desert wasteland.

Surveying the screens, it seemed this wasn’t the kind of terminal he was familiar with. It only existed to connect to this world alone, which was odd. One of the screens was still blank and Karkat couldn’t figure out how to turn it on without fucking something up and breaking the terminal by pushing random buttons.

The cohort gently nudged him out of the way and crawled beneath the terminal. He was curious enough to try and see what this little creature was doing, and was shocked to find it was actually doing repairs on the internal system. Did…did the Cohort make this thing? That thought seemed impossible and completely beyond the potential of this simple looking beast.

Regardless, it was familiar enough with the machine that it managed to fix the broken screen entirely. This screen was some kind of chat log, but it was entirely empty. He couldn’t see any previous messages, or even who he was sending this too. The cohort gestured for him to begin typing, and it looked up at him with what he could only call dumb, bovine hope. It’s little hooves were clasped in front of it in anticipation as it waited for Karkat to begin using the terminal.

He sighed, and begin to fiddle around with it trying to find where he could change the color of his text, and if he could assign himself a name. Something to at least make using the terminal feel familiar.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened public relay forum

CG: HELLO?
CG: IS ANYONE THERE?
CG: I DON’T KNOW WHY I LET SOME STUPID CREATURE ROPE ME INTO USING THIS THING
CG: I’M STARVING AND ITS GOT ME CHATTING INTO A VOID FOR KICKS

ONE [1] User has joined

TG: oh holy shit someones actually finally talking
TG: i thought for sure this was some abandonware chat message app that nobody gave a shit about
TG: guess i was wrong
TG: damn…i owe rose money now

CG: WHO THE FUCK IS ROSE?

TG: don’t worry about it
TG: anyways i have one question
TG: are you an alien?

Chapter Text

TG: so anyways, that’s basically our whole life story
TG: i hope you appreciated me rapping that whole thing btw i thought it’d be the best way to like connect your culture with mine
TG: ya feel me
TG: i don’t even know if aliens have rap but it’s the thought that counts

CG: I ONLY UNDERSTOOD ABOUT HALF OF WHAT YOU WERE SAYING.
CG: THE REST WAS UTTER NONSENSE WITH REFERENCES TO MADE UP ALIEN BULLSHIT.
CG: LIKE WHO THE FUCK IS BEN STILLER?
CG: WHY DID YOU DEDICATE A WHOLE SECTION TO HIM AND HIS WEIRD, SORT OF “GAUNT” FACE?
CG: AND WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULD EVEN REMOTELY CARE ABOUT THAT.

TG: i was explaining what i looked like in that section
TG: sorry, guess it got lost in translation or something
TG: but you got the gist of it right
TG: we’re humans traveling on a flaming rock towards your location
TG: and we’ve been playing the same game as you but we were kinda ass at it
TG: so we're using your session as a do-over, sorry in advance for when we get there and steal the thunder from you and your friends.

Karkat had been speaking with a “human” for the past hour now, and it was driving him up a wall. This douchebag who called himself “Dave” was the stupidest person he’d ever met, and he hadn’t even met the guy yet! He was just never direct about anything; everything had to be told as some insipid ironic joke with a million layers to it. Karkat also didn’t like the commentary from the rest of his friends in his own head while he basically read them some earth slam poetry explaining the origins of these mysterious aliens.

It felt less like talking with another species, and more like someone was just trolling him on the internet. It’d be nostalgic if he wasn’t so busy dealing with the shit storm that was his life currently.

CG: WHAT DID YOU ALL DO TO FUCK UP YOUR SESSION?
CG: IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN WORSE THAN WHATEVER MY FRIENDS AND I DID TO DOOM OURS.

TG: wait your sessions doomed
TG: well damn that sure puts a fucking damper on our plans then doesn’t it
TG: we were gonna just hop in and resume playing with all our planets intact and everything
TG: jade said it was our only option

CG: JADES ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS I DON’T KNOW AND HAVE NEVER MET BUT THAT YOU REFERENCE TO ME ANYWAYS, I SUPPOSE?

TG: yeah you got it
TG: anyways, we’ve been on this ship for like 7 years now
TG: shits crazy
TG: there’s nothing to do at all but we found this terminal a few weeks ago
TG: John found it while exploring the place and apparently he found a room no one had ever seen while onboard
TG: i thought it was just some old computer that was part of the ship that didn’t work
TG: but Rose kept saying it would be important later on
TG: idk guess it was more of her spooky seer powers or whatever
TG: she’s always talking about shit that’s supposed to happen but it all is “supposed to happen” years in the future so i can never tell what’s urgent or not when she talks to me
TG: guess this was one of those things that was really meant to happen like…a week from now
TG: anyways spooky mysterious broads with powers aside what’s all this about your session being doomed

CG: MY SESSION IS DOOMED IF I DON’T COMPLETE SOME QUEST FOR A DENIZEN.
CG: I’VE BEEN GOING FROM WORLD TO WORLD TO COMPLETE EACH ASSIGNMENT FOR THE LAST 7 SWEEPS.
CG: IT’S JUST ME OUT HERE.
CG: THE OTHERS ARE…PREOCCUPIED.

Terezi: OH COM3 ON
Terezi: T3LL TH3 COOL K1D 4LL 4BOUT US H3’S GONN4 F1ND OUT 3V3NTU4LLY 4NYW4YS

Karkat rolled his eyes at Terezi’s voice.

Karkat: I’D RATHER NOT TELL SOME COMPLETE STRANGER WHO VERY WELL MIGHT MEET ME IN THE FUTURE THAT I HEAR THE VOICES OF MY DEAD FRIENDS IN MY HEAD AT ALL TIMES ACTUALLY.
Karkat: ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME EVEN MORE OF A SOCIAL PHARIAH THAN USUAL?
Karkat: CARRYING THE GIANT SICKLE AND JARS OF BLOOD WASN’T ENOUGH HUH?

Terezi: FOR WH4T 1TS WORTH 1 TH1NK YOU LOOK PR3TTY COOL COV3R3D 1N 4LL OUR BLOOD >:]

Karkat: YOU CAN’T SEE!
Karkat: AND I DON’T EVEN MEAN THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE BLIND OR WHATEVER BUT BECAUSE YOU LITERALLY DON’T HAVE EYES ANYMORE.

Karkat turned his attention back to the screen and saw that Dave had typed quite a lot in that short reprieve.

TG: it’s just you on that planet?
TG: damn so you’re flying solo i see
TG: i can respect that you’ve got this whole lone wolf attitude i bet
TG: you would probably sell the vibes you’re going for if you quit the yelling in all caps though

CG: SHUT UP
CG: I TYPE THIS WAY TO EVERYONE AND IF THEY HAVE AN ISSUE WITH IT THEY CAN CHOKE ON MY BULGE FOR ALL I CARE.
CG: BUT YES IT’S JUST ME OUT HERE I’M THE ONLY ONE COMPLETING THIS GAME AND IF I DON’T FINISH IT I’M GOING TO DOOM EVERYTHING.
CG: AND NOW I HAVE 4 ALIENS EN ROUTE TO MY WORLD TO FUCK UP ALL MY PROGRESS BECAUSE THEY FUCKED THEIRS UP.
CG: YOU’LL EXCUSE ME IF I TYPE A LITTLE ANGRIER THAN USUAL WHEN I’VE BEEN GIVEN SUCH WOOFBEAST SHIT ADVICE JUST NOW.

TG: haha funny you should mention dogs
TG: or woofbeasts whatever the fuck those are
TG: Jades actually part dog

CG: OH MY GOD I DO NOT CARE.
CG: TURN YOUR STUPID FUCKING SPACESHIP AROUND AND GO TO SOME OTHER PLANET.
CG: OR AT LEAST WHEN YOU GET HERE CAN YOU FUCK OFF SO WE CAN NEVER CROSS PATHS I’M KIND OF ON A MISSION HERE?
CG: A MUCH MORE IMPORTANT MISSION THAN WHATEVER YOU NOOK LICKERS PLAN TO ACCOMPLISH.

TG: no can do pal this spaceships got a one way ticket to angry alien station
TG: we have no stops planned
TG: and i mean that literally we haven’t stopped flying in all this time
TG: this thing has no breaks whatsoever so prepare to hear us crash or see us crash when we arrive
TG: its fine if we crash we probably won’t die since we’re all godtiers

Karkat’s eyes narrowed as he read that last line. That was interesting. They’d all reached that far in the game but still found a way to fail? And he was supposed to throw some kind of welcoming party for such monumental fuck ups? He wondered how people who were undoubtedly stronger than him could’ve still managed to fail in such a spectacular way.

TG: speaking of god tiers i gotta ask
TG: what class are you

CG: I DON’T DISCLOSE MY BLOOD COLOR WITH ANYONE.
CG: HEED THE GREY TEXT JERK.

TG: what
TG: no i mean like in the game
TG: what’s your class
TG: i imagine you gotta be pretty high to be doing this whole thing solo

CG: OH.
CG: I’M A KNIGHT OF BLOOD.

TG: oh sweet
TG: we’re both knights then huh
TG: i’m a knight of time i’ve been really leaning into the whole “time protector” thing
TG: though i gotta say your title sounds almost as cool as mine
TG: almost
TG: can’t imagine how you use “blood” to kick ass though
TG: it sounds messy

Karkat glanced at the Sickle that leaned against the terminal, faded blood still on the blade and hilt. He’d used that thing to fell 5 out of 12 Denizens so far.

CG: I MAKE IT WORK.
CG: IT’S A PAIN AND ANNOYING BUT I MANAGE.
CG: AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?

TG: eh i stopped using time as a weapon a long time ago
TG: having different versions of myself from different points in time come to help me out when i need it is useful though
TG: i just have to keep track of everything i do and make sure the loop is complete so as to not accidentally fuck up anything along the way
TG: as you can imagine i’ve let a lot of Daves down just by way of forgetting something in a loop
TG: at least i still have my turntables you know just in case of emergencies

CG: TURN TABLES??

TG: yeah they’re like one of my weapons
TG: i mostly use a sword though

CG: THAT SOUNDS STUPID.
CG: AND TOTALLY ON BRAND FOR A RIDICULOUS ALIEN SLAM POET ON A ROCKET SHIP WHO TIME TRAVELS.

TG: okay well what do you use then
TG: since you’re so much cooler than me

CG: I DIDN’T SAY THAT AT ALL BUT IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING DOESN’T IT?
CG: I USE A SICKLE.

TG: hahaha no way
TG: and you were making fun of me for using turn tables when you’re attacking people with some lame garden tool
TG: some knight you are you should get a real weapon like a sword
TG: i use my bros shitty katana but at least it looks cool

Karkat gritted his teeth in anger. He wasn’t about to let some immature asshole a million miles away tell him his one and only means of killing things was lame. Oathkeeper had gotten him pretty fucking far all things considered.

CG: I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I’VE KILLED 5 DENIZENS USING JUST MY SICKLE.
CG: AND I DIDN’T HAVE TO USE ANY CHEAP BULLSHIT ASS POWERS TO GET A LEG UP IT WAS ALL ME.
CG: MAYBE A REAL KNIGHT WOULDN’T NEED TO RELY ON SOMETHING LIKE FAKE VERSIONS OF HIMSELF TO GET AHEAD?
CG: EVER THINK OF THAT?

TG: you killed 5 denizens with just a sickle?
TG: yeah right now i know you’re just lying to seem cool
TG: come on be honest with me all that shit about you being alone and doing a solo session was also bullshit too huh
TG: i guess even aliens have egos

CG: WHATEVER
CG: I DON’T NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING TO YOU WHAT DO YOU EVEN KNOW
CG: YOU’RE COMING TO *MY* SESSION BECAUSE OF *YOUR* FAILURE
CG: OUT OF THE TWO OF US, I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO’S EVEN REMOTELY GOTTEN SHIT DONE.

TG: why don’t you kill a denizen when we get there, then?
TG: not like they’re all that important i hear the choices they give you always result in some nebulous monkeypaw shit happening to you anyways
TG: i wont even help i’ll just sit on the side and watch you try and beat it

Karkat had a vicious smile on his face, for once he was actually looking forward to something. He normally hated fighting the Denizens but if he could prove this asshole wrong and see his stupid smug alien face fall in shock when he does beat the Denizen it’d be the best goddamn thing in the world.

CG: FINE!
CG: WHEN YOUR TINCAN OF A SPACESHIP LANDS ON THIS PLANET.
CG: I WILL FIND YOU AND WE WILL GO TO THE DENIZENS LAIR TOGETHER.
CG: I WILL KILL IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR WORDS HUMAN.

He stopped chatting then, deciding to leave the terminal completely. He grabbed whatever food was left and climbed out of the bunker. Annoying he noticed the little moobeast cohort was following him, but he’d deal with that later. Right now, he’d head back to his old camp and hold out in a cave nearby, to escape the sun at least. As he walked back to the old burned out campfire he made, he grabbed his things and secured them all. The jars of blood still as fresh as the day he got them were present, and untouched by anything thankfully.

As he secured his things to go looking for a cave, Kanaya spoke in his mind.

Kanaya: Well That Was An Interesting Encounter
Kanaya: Aliens Are Coming To Our Session And You Have Just Accepted A Challenge From One To Go And Kill A God
Kanaya: Immediately After Speaking With Him For The First Time
Kanaya: You Just Met The Guy And You Already Have Such Strong Hatred For Him
Kanaya: I Have To Say Karkat…

Karkat did not like the tone her voice took. Anytime Kanaya spoke in that way she always ended up teasing him immediately afterwards.

Kanaya: Don’t You Think It’s A Bit…Shameless?

Karkat: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Kanaya: You Know…Pitch Flirting Like That In Front Of Everyone
Kanaya: With An Alien Mind You

Karkat: I WAS NOT PITCH FLIRTING WITH ANYONE.
Karkat: HE IS JUST A STUPID FECKLESS HUMAN WHO DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING AND I AM JUST PROVING HIM WRONG.
Karkat: AND *HE* WAS THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THE DARE NOT ME.

Kanaya: Right, Right…

Karkat: YOU CANNOT SERIOUSLY THINK I HAVE ANY KIND OF SPADES THING GOING ON WITH AN ALIEN.
Karkat: DO I SEEM THAT FUCKING DESPERATE TO YOU KANAYA?
Karkat: AM I THAT GODDAMNED FARGONE THAT YOU’D THINK I’D FILL A QUADRANT WITH A MAN FROM SPACE.
Karkat: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD BE SOME CREATURE WITH 12 EYES AND TENTACLES FOR HANDS.
Karkat: ONE OF HIS FRIENDS IS *PART DOG*

Kanaya: Hm No I’m Just Saying Is All…
Kanaya: It Just Reminds Me Of All Those Romance Novels You Used To Try And Get Me To Read
Kanaya: And I Do Believe You Had Quite A Fascination With Spades Who Were Similar In Nature And Occupation Remember

Karkat: OKAY WELL THIS ISN’T A FUCKING ROMANCE NOVEL.
Karkat: AND I’M NOT PITCH FLIRTING WITH AN ALIEN.
Karkat: I AM GOING TO JUST PROVE HIM WRONG THAT IS ALL.
Karkat: IT’S ABOUT HAVING INTEGRITY.

Kanaya’s voice chuckled lowly in his head and he sighed inwardly, thankful that her teasing was at least finished now. If Kanaya was teasing him about this, he already knew that putting any blood on Oathkeeper would just result in the mad cackle of Vriska in his ear. Terezi’s mark had faded with time so her voice wasn’t as loud anymore. Which didn’t matter because he could definitely still hear her gravely chortle in the recesses of his head.

He sighed and started his search for a cave, the cohort followed him the whole time and he had a strong urge to kick it to the curb. Whenever any small creature with an adorable little stature started following him places it was most likely because he had a quest to do for them. Karkat stared down at the small cohort, but it didn’t say anything as it waddled next to him. He’d never been able to understand the cohorts anyways, so he decided to just let it be for now.

Karkat: THEY SAID THEY WERE GODTIERS.
Karkat: AND YET THEY STILL FOUND A WAY TO FAIL AND DOOM THEIR SESSION?
Karkat: THESE IDIOTS ARE NOT GOING TO COME HERE TO RUIN MINE JUST BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T PLAY THE GAME CORRECTLY

Kanaya: While I Am Excited For The Possible Chance To See You On A Hate Date For Once In Your Life…
Kanaya: I Must Agree That Their Arrival Doesn’t Exactly Bode Well
Kanaya: They Might Ruin The Way Our Session Is Meant To Be Played
Kanaya: We Have To Be Cautious About This

Karkat couldn’t agree more with that sentiment. He couldn’t let people he’d never met before in his life come in and try to play the game differently. His session had specific rules and caveats that theirs most likely didn’t have at all. The most notable being the God Tiering problem. When he arrived at the cave, he set everything down and leaned against the rocky wall to think for a moment.

Karkat: ALRIGHT…I THINK WE NEED TO HAVE A MEETING
Karkat: GOD I HATE MEETINGS THEY GIVE ME SUCH A HEADACHE BUT I NEED EVERYONE’S INPUT FOR THIS

Kanaya: Understandable
Kanaya: We’ll Try To Use Our Inside Voices

Karkat took the 11 jars out of the bag, and then set his Sickle down in front of him. He carefully uncorked each one before dabbing an equal amount of each hue onto the blade. As he gingerly took it and held the large weapon in his lap, he gripped the sharp side and cut his palm on it, letting his own blood land on the Sickle.

All at once the cacophony began.

Chapter Text

THE KNIGHT has called for a meeting (12) minds bleed together…

Karkat: OKAY SO I ASSUME EVERYONE HAD THE DISPLEASURE OF READING THAT LONG WINDED, STUPID MESSAGE BETWEEN ME AND THE DOUCHEBAG ALIEN.
Karkat: THEY’RE COMING HERE DESPITE ME TELLING THEM TO FUCK OFF SO WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO JUST DEAL WITH THEM BLUNDERING ABOUT OUR SESSION.
Karkat: I HAVEN’T TOLD THEM ABOUT ANY OF THIS, OR HOW OUR SESSION WORKS SO THEY’RE JUST GOING TO COME HERE WITH THE IDEA THAT THIS SESSION FUNCTIONS LIKE EVERY OTHER SESSION.

Vriska: That sounds annoying but what can you do in that situ8tion?
Vriska: OH I know!
Vriska: Why don’t we just kill them and get it over with so that way we can continue whatever we were doing without this random alien inv8sion 8ullshit?
Vriska: The sooner we’re done dealing with them the sooner we can get on with our g8me.

Terezi: 1 D1S4GR33
Terezi: K1LL1NG TH3M WOULDN’T B3 4S 34SY 4S YOU TH1NK
Terezi: TH3Y’R3 4LL GOD T13RS SOM3HOW D3SP1T3 TH31R F41LUR3 WH1CH M34NS TH3Y’R3 PROB4BLY STRONG3R.
Terezi: K4RK4T H4S MOR3 TO LOS3 1F H3 CH4LL3NG3S TH3M 4ND D13S FOR ON3
Terezi: FOR TWO H3 1S 4T 4 D1S4DV4NT4G3 N4TUR4LLY S1NC3 H3 C4N’T GOD T13R 4T 4LL W1THOUT BR34K1NG TH3 O4TH.

Kanaya: If He Dies Trying To Murder Four Gods Who Have Powers Above His And Denizens We Will All Go With Him.
Kanaya: And Besides I Don’t Like The Idea Of Murdering Random Aliens Who Have Just Arrived
Kanaya: Perhaps They Can Be Reasoned With
Kanaya: They May Even Have Better Provisions For Us To Use
Kanaya: I For One Am Sick Of Sleeping In Caves All Day
Kanaya: A Ship That Crash Lands Might Have A Real Place For Us To Sleep Finally

Vriska: Talking things out like that is 8ORING!
Vriska: The only action we’ll even 8e seeing is when Karkat sl8ys the Denizen.
Vriska: I mean it comes with his weird alien h8te d8te too but I'll take whatever entert8inment i can get!

Karkat: IT IS NOT A HATE DATE.
Karkat: BUT I HAVE TO AGREE THAT KILLING THEM IS ONE OF THE DUMBEST THINGS I COULD DO.
Karkat: I CAN’T RISK DYING IN A STUPID WAY.
Karkat: PHAETHON’S OATH IS THE ONLY REASON WE’VE EVEN BEEN ABLE TO MAKE IT THIS FAR DUE TO THE CONDITIONS SET IN PLACE.
Karkat: I CAN ONLY DIE FREELY IF I’M ACTIVELY HUNTING A DENIZEN.
Karkat: DYING IN ANY OTHER CIRCUMSTANCE IS ESSENTIALLY GAME OVER.
Karkat: WE HAVE TO STAY ON TRACK NO MATTER WHAT.

Aradia: It makes n0 difference t0 me what we d0.
Aradia: But I will advise that we ign0re them entirely and c0ntinue with the plan as bef0re.
Aradia: They might have s0me useful inf0rmation.
Aradia: But it’s n0thing that I think is all that n0tew0rthy.

Sollux: kk no offen2e but an aliien?
Sollux: really?
Sollux: you 2pend too long iin the wiild and go pitch for the fiir2t thiing that 2how2 you aniimo2iity…

Karkat: THE NEXT PERSON TO SAY I AM GOING ON A HATE DATE OR THAT I WAS PITCH FLIRTING WITH AN ALIEN IS GETTING THEIR BLOOD TAKEN OFF THE SICKLE.

Sollux: okay 2orry
Sollux: not really but iit2 whatever

Karkat: MOVING ON DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY OTHER REASON THEY MAY OR MAY NOT WANT US TO MEET WITH THE HUMANS?
Karkat: WE’LL BE MEETING THEM ANYWAYS BUT I’D LIKE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS DESPITE THAT

Feferi: M-E I HAV-E A SUGG-ESTION
Feferi: Naut to sink any s) (ips but I do t) (ink fraternizing wit) ( t) (e ) (umans is a bit of a terrible idea.
Feferi: T) (at being said…
Feferi: T) (-ER-E AR-E A BOATLOAD OF OPPORTUNATI-ES ) (-ER-E!
Feferi: We could use them to get ahead in the slower parts of this game.
Feferi: Sc) (ooner or later we’re going to need to do some of those quests for the cohorts to find the Denizens lair.
Feferi: T) (ey could really put some wind in our sails in that department
Feferi: We could task t) (em wit) ( doing t) (ose quests instead and swab our ) (ands free of t) (e fissue.

Sollux: ii can agree to that
Sollux: ii don’t exactly feel liike doiing odd job2 for fuckiing moobeast2 anymore
Sollux: we can tell them they have to do the quests in exchange for staying

Kanaya: I Don’t Think They Have Much Of A Choice
Kanaya: From What I Recall They Have No Breaks On The Ship
Kanaya: So It Will Crash And They Will Undoutedly Be Stuck Here Until The Games End
Kanaya: Though Any Plan That Involves Some Diplomacy I Am All For
Kanaya: They Also Have A Seer With Them Which Could Be Very Useful Considering We Only Have One Seer

Terezi: H3Y 4M 1 NOT GOOD 3NOUGH OR SOM3TH1NG!?
Terezi: 1 S33 PR3TTY D4MN W3LL 1INTO TH3 M1NDS OF THOS3 M4LL34BL3 L1TTL3 COHORTS
Terezi: W3 WOULDN’T H4V3 B33N 4BL3 TO D3C1PH3R 4NY OF TH31R QU3STS W1THOUT M3 H3R3
Terezi: 4R3 YOU…R3PL4C1NG M3 !? >:0

Kanaya: I Rebuke Such An Accusation
Kanaya: I Am Only Pointing Out That A Different Kind Of Seer Could Help Us Immensely Potentially
Kanaya: Depending On The Type She Is Anyways
Kanaya: You’re A Seer Of Mind Which Gives Us A Lot Of Very Valuable Insight To The Inner Worlds Of Others
Kanaya: This Rose Character However Seems To Be Able To Peer Into The Future
Kanaya: Two Seers Are Better Than One Am I Right?

Terezi: OK4Y 1 FORG1V3 YOU B3C4US3 YOU D1D SP3ND MOST OF TH4T 3XPL4N4T1ON K1SS1NG MY 4SS >:]
Terezi: 4ND 1 DO H4V3 TO 4DM1T 1T M4K3S S3NS3

Vriska: I still think violence is the 8est choice here 8uuuuuuuut…
Vriska: I guess we can try things your way
Vriska: If it fails though I totally have an 8mazing plan!
Vriska: And I have t8ken into account how they are Godtiers to 8oot
Vriska: I’ll tell you all a8out it l8ter when they finally touch down

Tavros: uM, I ALSO THINK VIOLENCE IS AN ACCEPTABLE SOLUTION
Tavros: bUT I AM,,, KIND OF OPPOSED TO IT AS WELL JUST PERSONALLY SPEAKING
Tavros: i’M NOT A FAN OF IT BUT I THINK VRISKA’S PLAN IS GOOD IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY

Kanaya: Perhaps It Would Be Best If You Gave Us Your Honest Opinion…Without Vriska’s Input?

Tavros: uM NO THANK YOU, I’M GOOD

Kanaya: Oh Well, I Tried.

Karkat: I THINK I GET WHAT WE’RE IN AGREEMENT ABOUT THOUGH
Karkat: WE’LL MAKE THEM DO THE QUESTS TO SPEED THINGS UP A BIT
Karkat: THAT’S SOMETHING THAT HELPS US OUT AND THEY CANNOT POSSIBLY FUCK ANYTHING ELSE UP WHILE THEY’RE HERE
Karkat: IF ANYBODY HAS ANYTHING ELSE LEFT TO SAY PLEASE KINDLY KNOW THAT I ALREADY HAVE A HEADACHE AND I WILL NOT BE HEARING YOU OUT AS THIS MEETING IS OVERWITH.
Karkat: GOODBYE, FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU.

THE KNIGHT has wiped the blood from the blade…

Karkat’s head pounded as he closed his eyes and decided to rest. He’d never had a good sleep without any sopor or the relaxing feel of a recuperacoon in years, and he had made peace with that fact ages ago. He realized he’d just have to get used to sleeping on hard stone floors for probably the rest of his life. As he closed his eyes, and leaned against the cave wall, he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

And while Karkat slept, the rest of his friends would adjourn to their respective moons. Prospit and Derse were still full of carapacians who’d apparently stalled their own war for years due to all manner of circumstances. Kanaya had a sneaking suspicion that the game stalled the war on purpose just so their specific game could function properly with Phaethon’s Oath in full effect. She had to wonder just how powerful that specific Denizen was to be able to change the nature of their session so perfectly without any real roadblocks.

After Karkat went to sleep, she found herself in her bedroom on Prospit, alone and with an open window. She heard a knock on her door.

Kanaya: Come In.

Terezi swiftly opened the door and made herself at home. Behind her, Vriska trailed with a noticeable scowl.

Kanaya: I Assume You Are Here Because We Did Not Do Quite Enough Exploring Today

Vriska: UGH I’m going to die of 8OREDOM if I don’t find something cool to do soon!
Vriska: I guess that 8unker was pretty neat though, but there wasn’t even anything in it that was cool in my opinion.
Vriska: At least Aliens is a step up from random Cohorts.

Terezi: H3H3H3 I TOT4LLY W4NT TO PULL SOM3 K1ND OF PR4NK ON H1M WH3N H3 GO3S ON H1S “NOT 4 H4T3 D4T3” WITH 4N 4L13N.

Vriska: HA! Now there’s an idea of how to pass the time!
Vriska: I knew you were scheming of something back there but didn’t say anything until now.
Vriska: So what’s the plan? I was thinking…

Kanaya: Perhaps Pulling A Prank When He Is In The Midst Of Fighting A Denizen Is Dangerous?

Vriska shrugged her shoulders, and Terezi laughed.

Vriska: Relaaaaaaaax
Vriska: We’re not gonna do something that stupid while he’s fighting o8viously
Vriska: 8ut when the humans arrive that’s prime time to pull something.
Vriska: Like take control of his mouth and make him say something embarrassing at the wrong moment!
Vriska: Oh, are make him trip when he’s on his way to see the Denizen’s lair and impress his, again, “not h8te d8te”.

Terezi: I W4S D3F1N1T3LY TH1NK1NG OF M4K1NG H1M SN1FF 4ND L1CK SOM3TH1NG 1N FRONT OF TH3 COOL K1D
Terezi: TH3N P4SS 1T OFF 4S 4 TH1NG KN1GHTS DO
Terezi: BUT 1 L1K3 YOUR 1D34 4S W3LL SO L3TS DO BOTH >:]

Vriska: See Kanaya this is diplomacy!

Kanaya: It Seems More Like…Cahoots To Me.
Kanaya: You Are Both In Cahoots With Each Other And I Shall Have No Part In It

Terezi: YOU GONN4 STOP US

Kanaya: Of Course Not
Kanaya: I Have Other Things To Do And Will Not Be Paying Attention At All To This Hate Date Of His That Is Most Certainly Not A Hate Date
Kanaya: Don’t You Two Think It Is A Little Meanspirited And Cruel To Prank Him In Such A Way Anyways?

The two girls looked thoughtful for a moment.

Vriska: Nah not really

Terezi: K4RK4TS F1N3 W1TH 1T
Terezi: PLUS YOU W1LL 4LSO TH1NK 1TS FUNNY

Kanaya: Oh Well, I Tried.
Kanaya: I Tend To Do That A Lot These Days Though It’s Useless

The two girls quickly said their goodbyes as they left to go and brainstorm more ideas of how to prank Karkat when the humans finally arrived. In the meantime, Kanaya had important business to attend to. Prospit was a strange planet that actually ended up getting quite a lot of breach between different sessions and worlds. Most of the Mediums internet were snapshots of older domains from long ago, seeing as their owners planets were most likely destroyed by meteors in the process of starting the game the original servers and the means to update them had vanished.

She went over to her desk where she had her patented laptop set up, it was still on one page that she had been reading. At first, Kanaya had believed it to be an old webpage that was just one of thousands of forgotten manuscripts in the Medium’s empty void. At the top in neat formatted type, it read:

Sburb Beta Walkthrough
Version 1.0, April 13, 2009
By tentacleTherapist

Kanaya had read through this very walkthrough countless times as it was one of the few walkthroughs that were actively being updated before all of that stopped a few years ago. She had believed that maybe the writer of said walkthrough just perished in her session, as the last page details that the world as she knew it was ending and that the voices of the Grimdark were calling to her ever more. It was incredibly dramatic and Kanaya had to admit that she was rooting for someone like the fabled Grimdark Seer to make it through this perilous journey.

She clicked through the final entry titled “Rose: Egress”. It was a foreboding message about how magic was real, the Gods whispered to her in her sleep, and that she could sense the end was nigh if they did not escape their session soon. To Kanaya, it at first seemed like the ramblings of a brilliant player gone mad.

She remembered the conversation that Karkat had with the alien. She was particularly interested in meeting this mysterious “Rose” who could see so far into the future but who could not surmise when the events would take place, only their significance and importance. Kanaya knew that it was probably just dumb wishful thinking to believe that the “Alien” coming to visit their session could be the fabled Seer she’d read so much about through this walkthrough. That just seemed like the kind of thing that wasn’t bound to happen to her. But a girl can dream.

She closed the tab that had the walkthrough open, and clicked another with her own writing document at the ready. These past few years she’d also been detailing everything in the privacy of her Prospit apartment. There was no one to share it with, but writing it still gave her solid hope that they would one day get out of this whole mess. They would all be back in their own tangible bodies, and would all claim that prize in the end.

She got to writing the events that happened today, since meeting aliens soon was something noteworthy. As she typed, Kanaya had the strangest feeling that this walkthrough of her own would be useful to others besides her and her friends.

Chapter Text

Terezi and Vriska stood by an overhanging balcony, the golden bricks of Prospits streets and buildings made for great hiding spots when you needed to get out of sight fast. Or if you wanted a good vantage point of the streets down below where all the little Carapacian soldiers went throughout their day to day duties. In one hand, Vriska held a small satchel that moved oddly all on its own, a captured creature clearly inside of it.

Vriska: There, look! She’s coming out now!

Terezi looked down to see their latest, and only target on this moon. The White Queen often took visits to Prospits moon for whatever lame, queenly duties that called for this war that had been stalled forever. Terezi always assumed the Carapacians were too simple minded to truly be doing anything important or business like, and that really they probably just spent hours in those “war meetings” with the Queen playing games or something. She had the vague sense that maybe that was a bit xenophobic of her, but they were little chess guys that smelled like plain chalk and vapor. What else was there to say about them really?

The White Queen had just exited a building, the same one she always used for her war meetings with her special advisors. Terezi still could never tell which Carapacians around her were the “important” ones given they truly did all just look like little walking chess pieces in chess themed clothing.

Terezi: (hurry 4nd l1ft th3 b4g b3for3 sh3 looks up!)

Vriska did just that as Terezi whispered and nudged her arm a bit. The bag fell promptly onto the queen, who was startled to find that it was filled with a strange, chubby looking cow creature that was mooing so loudly it made the special advisors next to her cover their poor ears. The White Queen wrangled the critter as it trampled all over her face in a vain attempt to escape, and soon it fell to the ground, its stubby hooves made a distinct clomp noise against the brick street.

Vriska and Terezi laughed heartily as they bolted from the scene of the crime; the White Queen looked up to where they were moments before, a very annoyed look on her face.

Vriska: HAHAHAHAHA DID YOU SEE HER FACE!?
Vriska: Aw man talk about PRICELESS!
Vriska: I’m so glad for that dumb captchacard machine I don't know how else I’d pass the time otherwise.

Terezi: H4H4H4 Y34H
Terezi: 1 W4SN’T 3NT1R3RLY JOK1NG 4BOUT TRY1NG TO 34T ON3 OF THOS3 L1TTL3 GUYS…
Terezi: BUT 4T L34ST TH3Y H4V3 4 S3COND4RY PURPOS3 B3SID3S PROB4BLY B31NG D3L1C1OUS!

Vriska: Meh, it's kind of a sh8me he didn’t eat one 8ut oh well
Vriska: Anyways, lets skip this part of town 8efore she gets wise to where we’ve run off to.

The two of them quickly flew away, making sure to not be seen by any wandering guards who were always on the look out for the Seer and Rogue that caused so many pranks on the moon. Vriska led the way, and Terezi followed closely behind her, a mischievous smile on both of their faces. Vriska found a hidden alcove carved in the side of one of the many golden pillars, and they both relaxed as they were finally out of sight of any guards.

Terezi: YOU KNOW 1 DON’T TH1NK TH3 QU33N 3V3N PUTS 3FFORT 1NTO TRY1NG TO C4TCH US 4NYMOR3
Terezi: K1ND OF 4 SH4M3 R34LLY
Terezi: 1 M1SS 3SC4P1NG 4 HO4RD3 of L1TTL3 CH3SS M3N >:[

Vriska: Ugh she pro8a8ly thinks she’s a8ove doing something like sending the guards after us for pranks.
Vriska: Either that or m8ybe this slow g8me is finally picking up some speed.
Vriska: The aliens have to 8e some kind of sign, right?
Vriska: At least when they finally get here we can say GOOD8YE to doing all of those 8oring side quests!
Vriska: Soon we’ll be scott free and out of here once and for all…

Terezi was quiet for a moment as Vriska stared out into the streets of Prospit. She glanced back at Terezi and a crease formed in her brow. Normally when she was this quiet, Vriska could sense she was thinking about something extra hard.

Vriska: What gives?
Vriska: You’ve got that look on your face again.

Terezi: 1T’S NOTH1NG
Terezi: 1T’S JUST…
Terezi: 1S 1T W31RD TO S4Y 1’LL M1SS TH1S PL4C3?
Terezi: 1 SP3NT SO LONG ON TH1S PL4N3TS MOON TH4T 1 C4N’T 1M4G1N3 NOT B31NG 4BL3 TO FLY FR33LY WH3N3V3R
Terezi: 4ND WH3N 1’M NOT ON TH3 MOON 1’M JUST 4 VO1C3 1N SOM3ON3 3LS3’S M1ND
Terezi: SOM3T1M3S 1 FORG3T 3NT1R3LY WH4T B31NG T4NG1BL3 3V3R 3V3N M34NT

Vriska: Well that’s some unusually heavy shit on a random night…
Vriska: Let me guess…you’ve 8een meddling again haven’t you with your Seer powers?
Vriska: Who’s mind have you 8een pro8ing this time?

Terezi: MY OWN
Terezi: THOUGH 1T H4SN’T GOTT3N M3 V3RY F4R
Terezi: 1 K33P TRY1NG TO TH1NK OF H4PPY MOM3NTS TH4T H4PP3N3D B3FOR3 4LL OF TH1S
Terezi: 4ND 4LL MY H4PP13ST M3MOR13S 31TH3R H4PP3N3D 1N TH4T FOR3ST 1 GR3W UP 1N OR ON TH1S MOON
Terezi: BUT TH3 LONG3R 1 DW3LL ON 1T TH3 LONG3R 1 R34L1Z3 JUST HOW H4PPY 1’V3 B33N ON TH1S MOON D3SP1T3 TH3 SH1TTY C1RCUMST4NC3S W3’R3 4LL 1N
Terezi: TH4T PROB4BLY M4K3S NO S3NS3 BUT-

Vriska: No I get it.

Terezi’s head lifted as she listened carefully to what Vriska said.

Vriska: When we first died I was o8viously a huge wreck
Vriska: I mean, I thought it was OVER
Vriska: If you had told me from 7 years ago that my one hope was Vantas growing a spine long enough to get some shit done I'd pro8a8ly laugh in your f8ce!
Vriska: And I’d still do that 8ecause of how utterly fucking ridiculous it is in hindsight
Vriska: 8ut this moon is the most fun i’ve ever had anywhere
Vriska: I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, at whatever p8ce feels 8est for me!
Vriska: And the only person who ever nags me a8out anything is Kanaya
Vriska: Oh and you, of course

Terezi: H3Y WH3N 1 N4G 1TS FOR 4 GOOD R34SON MOSTLY!
Terezi: L1K3 WH3N YOU’V3 FORGOTT3N 4N 3SP3C14LLY 1MPORT4NT D3T41L 1N 4 PL4N
Terezi: 1’M 4 GOOD R3M1ND3R FOR OTH3RS
Terezi: 1T COM3S W1TH TH3 T3RR1TORY OF B31NG 4 S33R 1 TH1NK

Vriska: And at least you’d never nag me a8out messing with some loser
Vriska: Man, do you remem8er when we were kids and I almost messed with Tavros too much?
Vriska: I could’ve sent him off a cliff if I wasn’t careful using my powers!
Vriska: I could’ve seriously done some damage 8ack there!
Vriska: It’s a great thing you showed up 8efore I did something that dum8, though

Terezi: TH4T’S WHY W3’R3 4 GOOD T34M
Terezi: H3LPS TH4T W3’R3 BOTH INCR3D1BLY SM4RT TOO BUT WHO’S K33P1NG SCOR3 OF 4LL OUR 4CCOL4D3S?

Vriska laughs at that and the two girls fall into a comfortable silence together as they reminisced about their time on Alternia. They often spent most of their time like this, together just talking about all sorts of things that had happened in the past. Vriska was grateful to have such a wonderful partner in Terezi, who was always there to try and reel her in or remind her of the bigger picture to her grand schemes. And Terezi was thankful to have a partner like Vriska, who’d helped raise her self confidence to a healthier degree.

Vriska: You know I kind of miss the old FLARP days
Vriska: Aside from the massive Spider 8itch I had to keep fed it was pretty fucking sweet 8eing a pirate and stealing loot

Terezi: DO3S M1SS S3RK3T P3RH4PS… M1SS TH3 BLOODSH3D M4YB3 4 L1TTL3 B1T >:?

Vriska: Nah, not anymore anyways! 8esides this whole adventure of ours that’s taken seven sweeps to complete is way cooler than culling some 8ronze 8lood for cash.
Vriska: Any FLARPER now would piss their pants if they heard what I had to do to make it this far.
Vriska: I know Kanaya really, REALLY cares about making him feel “appreci8ted” or whatever
Vriska: 8ut Vantas practically owes me everything!
Vriska: He was such a s8d s8ck when we all died!
Vriska: Without my tr8ining he’d 8e nowhere

Terezi: OHH MY F4VOR1T3 P4RT OF TR41N1NG H1M B4CK TH3N W4S M4K1NG H1M BL1NDFOLD H1MS3LF
Terezi: 1 TOLD H1M 1T’D H3LP H1M FOCUS MOR3 W1TH H1S BLOOD POW3RS

Vriska: Did it?

Terezi: 1 W4S TOT4LLY JUST FUCK1NG W1TH H1M FROM B3YOND TH3 GR4V3 >:]
Terezi: BUT 1T WORK3D OUT 1N TH3 3ND
Terezi: 1 M34N H3 D1DN’T P4SS OUT 4T 4LL WH3N H3 C4LL3D TH4T M33T1NG
Terezi: JUST 4 M1NOR H34D4CH3
Terezi: SP34K1NG OF…1 WOND3R HOW LONG H3’LL SL33P?
Terezi: WH4T 1F H1S H4T3 D4T3 4RR1V3S 4ND H3’S ST1LL SL33P1NG?

Vriska had a wicked smile on her face that Terezi always loved seeing. She leaned forward with an air of giddiness.

Vriska: I was thinking the same thing
Vriska: And I came up with an even 8etter prank than just making him lick walls

Terezi: 1’M 4LL 34RS

Their voices whispered quietly in the dark of the alcove with glee as they discussed their plans. Prospit was always full of some manner of hijinks and chaos because of those two. The other nobles who were with them were much quieter in nature; even the Bard was uncharacteristically serene on the moon, choosing to spend most of his time sleeping in his bed, or focused on his bizarre meditation and prayer.

If there wasn’t some ridiculous stunt being pulled by the Rogue and Seer, there was an equally bizarre looking church service being put on by the Bard who’d managed to convince some of the malleable minds of the Carapacians into joining.

Derse, however, was peaceful. Their nobles were more introverted in nature even when they were tangible and more alive than ever. The rest of them were so content with the way things were, so happy to just keep going at this pace and existing on Derse’s moon whenever Karkat went to sleep. Aradia hated it, however.

Nothing on Derse gave her the satisfaction or feeling she used to have when she was actually alive. And seeing as she’d died years ago in a freak accident before any of her friends, she’d spent so long just being an usher to the end for all of them. Aradia, who had nothing to do then but to just sit on her balcony and watch over the streets in disinterest, decided she’d had enough of this listless state they’ve been in for so long.

Sollux: yo aa you wanna joiin me and fef iin 2ome game tiime?
Sollux: we need liike four people to start iit
Sollux: nepeta2 joiiniing but ii don’t feel liike giiviing equiius any of my controller2 so she miight not joiin at all
Sollux: and eriidan2 two busy doiing hiis makeup or whatever pan2y a22 2hiit he get2 up two
Sollux: ii 2wear that guy ju2t 2pend2 all day lookiing good for that der2iite magaziine nobody but the che22 dude2 read

Aradia: i might be interested
Aradia: 0r i might n0t
Aradia: its hard being interested in anything when y0ur life is s0 utterly 0ut 0f y0ur 0wn c0ntrol
Aradia: d0 y0u feel the same?
Aradia: d0es y0ur life l0se meaning m0re and m0re each day as y0u are f0rced t0 exist within the c0nfines 0f s0me0ne else’s mind?
Aradia: d0es it drive y0u…crazy?
Aradia: 0_0

Sollux: ii tend not to thiink of poiintle22 2hiit liike that
Sollux: for one iit2 not 2omethiing ii can control
Sollux: for two liife2 way ea2iier iif 2omeone el2e iis carryiing you through the toughe2t part2

Sollux floated idly beside her before taking a seat next to her.

Sollux: you’re 2tiill hung up about the whole…dyiing before any of u2 thiing?

Aradia: i w0uld think death isn’t s0mething a pers0n just “gets 0ver”
Aradia: especially when it was preventable

Sollux cringed inwardly just thinking about that whole mishap.

Sollux: you were ju2t iin the wrong place at the wrong tiime
Sollux: plenty of flarp game2 go wrong
Sollux: iit wa2 ju2t…bad luck ii gue22
Sollux: ii don’t know what el2e to 2ay
Sollux: but you’re not goiing to be a gho2t forever you know

Aradia: i kn0w
Aradia: i have always kn0wn since i became t00 attuned t0 my r0le as a Maid
Aradia: ridicul0usly 0ne 0f my dying th0ughts was that i h0ped t0 never play a game again seeing as a game was the reas0n i’d f00lishly l0st my life
Aradia: and yet here i am
Aradia: playing an0ther game
Aradia: the cl0sest thing i can call this feeling i have is impatience

Sollux: well have you ever triied lookiing on the briight siide?
Sollux: you don’t have two be “the maiid” anymore
Sollux: you could ju2t …chiill
Sollux: let kk deal wiith all the hard shiit liike god slayiing
Sollux: whiile you play viideo games wiith me
Sollux: you’ve heard me giive you thiis lecture a miilliion tiimes already anyway2

Aradia: the knight d0es have a hard j0b d0esn’t he…

Sollux: all ii know iis ii wouldn’t wanna be hiim lol
Sollux: who the fuck want2 to kiill god2 for 2even 2weep2?

Aradia: hm…certainly n0t me
Aradia: killing g0ds 0nt0p 0f all my 0ther duties…
Aradia: perhaps i will g0 play that game with y0u

Sollux smiles as they both walk off to start the game. While he talks, Aradia still feels that same impatience she described earlier. But she has to admit to herself that while being a Maid of Time for this wreck of a session has been nothing but a pain…she enjoyed, somewhat, that there was nothing to do at the moment.

It was a slow night on both moons and all of their inhabitants went about their evening trying to enjoy the last bit of freedom they’d have in separate bodies for a while until Karkat awoke again. As Terezi and Vriska plotted another scheme, and Kanaya hit enter on her own keyboard typing away the events of the past few days, and the games began in Sollux’s small apartment it all ceased as they were ripped back into the void, and became nothing but voices once more.

The Knight was awake.

Chapter Text

When Karkat slept for the first time after he made the Oath with Phaethon, he was met with the devastating reality that he’d truly never get to see any of his friends again, even in his dreams. The Denizen had chuckled vaguely when Karkat had asked all of the questions he could think of at that moment.

“The price one pays for any Oath is to be locked in their own mind until the promise has been kept. You will understand what that means, very soon.” Phaethon had an almost amused look on his face as he spoke. At first he thought that meant he’d be forced to hear the others' thoughts forever until the Oath was complete, but that was only part of it. His dream self was permanently asleep, unable to wake up at all and explore Prospit. Whenever Karkat slept, his dreams were relatively normal.

Sometimes, however, his dreams were just his own memories. He’d dream about a day he had on Alternia long before he even played this game. And sometimes, like tonight, he’d dream about the first week after he made the Oath.

Karkat was covered in blood, but most of it had dried and stuck to his skin uncomfortably after an hour of wandering away from the Denizen’s cave. After everyone had promptly met a swift end, he had no idea of what to do next. The strange bag of jars his sprite had brought to him were now filled with various levels of his friend's blood. As he walked the crystalline landscape of Aradia’s world, he could only vaguely remember his actions before he left the cave. Trying to remember any of the details resulted in a blurry image; cutting into their bodies to collect larger amounts of it, capping the jars tightly so none would spill, and leaving the bodies there because they were far too mangled to be picked up, was like looking at a grainy film of someone else’s horrid actions.

More than anything at that moment he wished he could at least have a bath to wash all of the blood off of him. Looking at the motley assortment of colors that marred his grey skin had his stomach in tight knots. He’d done enough vomiting to last a lifetime already. Aradia’s land was rocky, and made from sharp white quartz. The wind would howl through the cavernous plains and create a hollow whistling that’d be peaceful if not for his current circumstances.

After walking about a mile from the cave, he slumped down against a jutted piece of quartz, and set the jars down beside him in the sack Carashawlsprite had given him. His head slumped down onto his knees as he finally crumpled under the excessive weight of everything that had happened. Red tears left streak marks on his face, and he sniffled a bit trying to wipe the tears away.

Vriska: Are you fucking serious right now?

Karkat looked up in surprise to hear Vriska’s voice. Though she was nowhere to be seen. Oh fuck, I’m really losing it now… He thought, and then heard Vriska’s familiar exaggerated groan as clear as day.

Vriska: WE HAVE JUST DIED AND YOU’RE CRYING LIKE A WIGGLER!?
Vriska: Unacceptable I cannot fucking believe this shit
Vriska: We’re so unbelievably fucked in this situ8tion because the only person we have to rely on is weeping his goddamn eyes out instead of getting shit DONE!

Karkat waited for a moment, still looking around to see if she would pop out from some hiding spot.

Karkat:...
Karkat: VRISKA?
Karkat: I’M NOT GOING INSANE OR ANYTHING AM I IS THAT REALLY YOU?

Vriska: Of course it’s me dum8ass!
Vriska: I’m just in your head!

Karkat: OH SO I AM GOING INSANE
Karkat: THANKS FOR THE CONFIRMATION THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER

Vriska: No you idiot!
Vriska: I mean I am L8TERALLY in your HEAD
Vriska: When Ph8ethon made that Oath with you this was the price, remem8er!?
Vriska: We have to complete this g8me with only one body and guess who’s body that is?

Karkat: WELL…WHERE IS EVERYONE ELSE?

Kanaya: Oh We’re Here As Well…
Kanaya: You Just Seemed To Need A Moment To Process Everything So I Suggested We All Be Quiet For The Time Being
Kanaya: Though I Suspect You Couldn’t Hear Us That Well Anyways
Kanaya: You’re Still New To Using Your Aspect Correctly And You Did Lie About Having Gotten Attuned To It At All
Kanaya: Oh Unfortunately I Have More Terrible News
Kanaya: We-

Terezi: Y34H 3V3RYON3 TOT4LLY KNOWS 4BOUT YOU B31NG 4 MUT4NT NOW
Terezi: TURNS OUT SH4R1NG 4 M1ND M4K3S YOU PR1VY TO 4LL SORTS OF S3CR3TS
Terezi: R34LLY 3MB4RR4S1NG ON3S TOO

Karkat: WOW THAT SURE MAKES THIS WHOLE SITUATION A FUCK TON BETTER DOESN’T IT?
Karkat: MY FRIENDS ARE ALL DEAD AND NOW THEY ALL KNOW MY DEEPEST DARKEST SECRETS
Karkat: JUST PERFECT! REALLY GREAT!

Sollux: for what iit2 worth there2 nothiing iin here that really shocked me
Sollux: ii mean maybe be2iide2 the mutant thiing
Sollux: ii already knew you 2ucked a22 at codiing dude you diidn’t have to hiide that from me lmao
Sollux: ii mean you’re not 2ecretly 2ome freak hiidiing a terriible criime or anythiing
Sollux: frankly iim more 2urpriised at how normal you actually are iif anythiing

Nepeta: :33< *nepeta pounces towards karkat and hugs him even though she is a disembodied voice in his head and cannot truly do that anymore*
Nepeta: :33< i knew you always liked roleplaying!
Nepeta: :33< you were just purrtending the whole time!
Nepeta: :33< when we are no longer just voices we should roleplay again sometimes!
Nepeta: :33< and you can be pawstively sure that I furgive you for all those times you yelled at me and felt bad about it!

Sollux: wow biig 2hocker he wa2 u2iing all tho2e cur2e word2 and yelliing to hiide what a big fucking 2ap he really iis
Sollux: ii knew that two of cour2e ii just thought we all already knew about iit and ju2t weren’t 2ayiing anythiing because iit wa2 that obviiou2

Vriska: HELLO?
Vriska: Are you all deaf or some shit we have a real emerg8ncy to deal with!
Vriska: This h8ppy fun reunion can be done l8ter, prefera8ly after Karkat gets off his ass and starts MOVING
Vriska: We don’t have much time, let’s get to the first Denizen we can and-

Karkat: NO
Karkat: HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Karkat: WE’RE IN THIS MESS BECAUSE YOU RUSHED THINGS AND DID EVERYTHING TOO EARLY
Karkat: I’M NOT FIGHTING A GODDAMN DENIZEN NOW I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHEN I’LL BE READY
Karkat: YOU ARE GOING TO FUCK UP EVERYTHING ELSE A SECOND TIME BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT, MORONIC ASSHOLE

Vriska: Hey!
Vriska: I will admit I fucked up this time
Vriska: 8ut-

Karkat: NO BUTS
Karkat: THERE IS NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO TO POSSIBLY MAKE THIS BETTER VRISKA
Karkat: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I WAS SO RELIEVED TO HEAR YOUR VOICE
Karkat: YOU’RE THE REASON WE’RE EVEN IN THIS SITUATION
Karkat: I JUST BROUGHT US MORE TIME BEFORE WE ALL DIE FOR REAL

Vriska: We’re not going to get anywhere if you’re moping around like some l8ser though!
Vriska: So…GET UP!

Karkat refused to move at all, and tried tuning her voice out but it was kind of impossible with her voice being stuck in his head permanently. Soon the others joined in and their voices blended together in a loud, agonizing din. Karkat gripped the side of his head, unable to block the noise out at all.

Karkat: AHHHH
Karkat: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP
Karkat: I CAN’T STAND ALL YOUR VOICES BOUNCING AROUND MY THINKPAN LIKE THIS

Vriska: Alright fine.
Vriska: May8e you’re right
Vriska: You can’t go and fight a Denizen right now

Karkat: SO GLAD YOU FINALLY CAME TO YOUR FUCKING SENSES AND-

Vriska: Which is whyyyyyyyy
Vriska: You need tr8ining!
Vriska: And I am going to 8e the one to help you!

Terezi: W41T S3R1OUSLY?
Terezi: YOU R34LLY TH1NK YOU C4N JUST TR41N H1M 1NTO B3COM1NG 4 W4RR1OR 1N T1M3 TO D3F34T 4 D3N1Z3N?
Terezi: NOT TO UND3RST4T3 YOUR P4ST 4CH13V3M3NTS…
Terezi: BUT H4V3 YOU S33N K4RK4T?
Terezi: H3’S K1ND OF 4…HM HOW DO 1 PUT TH1S…?

Kanaya: He’s very scrawny?

Sollux: a huge wiimp
Sollux: ii could kiick kk’2 a22 any day

Nepeta: :33< *nepeta licks her paw and thinks for a moment*
Nepeta: :33< he’s a little short?
Nepeta: :33< i remember us being the same height actually!

Equius: D→ He’s the greatest e%ample of lowblood inferiority.

Karkat: I MISS WHEN I COULDN’T HEAR ANY OF YOUR VOICES
Karkat: FUCK ALL OF YOU

Vriska: Point is he’s weak
Vriska: 8UT he won’t 8e for long if we just tr8in him!
Vriska: And I’m going to 8e the first one to get his ass in gear
Vriska: So get up karkat, come on!
Vriska: Quit your moping we’ve got shit to do!

Karkat: I HIGHLY DOUBT-

Before Karkat could finish that sentence, Vriska took control of his legs and began to move them in an awkward attempt to get to him to stand. Karkat cursed as he tried to regain control for a moment, and found himself standing upright finally, even though he really didn’t feel like doing much of anything.

Karkat: STOP PUPETTEERING ME YOU CONTROL FREAK
Karkat: I’M MOVING AREN’T I?
Karkat: BACK OFF

Vriska: Gr8!
Vriska: Now that you’re standing, let's go for a run!

Karkat: A RUN?
Karkat: I AM COVERED IN EVERYONE’S BLOOD THE LAST THING I WANT IS TO RUN
Karkat: UNLESS IT’S TO A STREAM OR RIVER TO WASH ALL OF THIS FILTH OFF

Vriska: You still have those jars of our 8lood right?
Vriska: Go get mine, I have an idea…

Karkat narrowed his eyes but decided it’d be best to listen. He was already standing up, and for all of his complaining, Vriska’s forceful motivation got him to stop being so awfully depressed about the situation. He still felt like complete trash, caked in blood and starting to smell like it too. But at least he was finally moving. He went over to the bags and took Vriska’s jar out, listening to her instructions carefully though they made no sense to him. He dipped his hand in the still warm liquid, and then painted her Rogue symbol on the side of the rock he had been leaning on.

Vriska: Now I need you to concentr8te really hard on my voice while staring at that sym8ol
Vriska: Concent8te…Concentr8teeeeeeee….

Karkat: THIS WOULD BE EASIER IF YOU JUST SHUT-

Vriska: IT WORKED ::::D

Karkat blinked and a ghostly visage of Vriska was standing before him. Her form was entirely cerulean like the blood on the stone, and Karkat felt that he could wave his hand into her and she’d dissipate like a cloud of mist. She smirked triumphantly as she looked down at her ghostly form.

Vriska: HA I knew it!
Vriska: I can appear this way 8riefly if you use my 8lood somewhere!
Vriska: O8viously i’m not really there…8ut all that matters is that you can see me!
Vriska: Let’s hurry and tr8in, using my psychic connection to you like this is gonna exhaust me pretty fast.

Karkat still couldn’t believe he was actually seeing her and had a dumbstruck look on his face, Vriska rolled her eyes at him. She shot off past him in a misty blue trail, looking back at him.

Vriska: COME ON ALREADY!
Vriska: Let’s RUN!
Vriska: At least try to keep up!

Karkat shook himself out of his stupor and hurried after her on weak legs. The whole time he listened to a ghostly apparition of Vriska insult and egg him on to run faster. His feet carried him just half way to barely reaching her speed, and Karkat’s heart thumped painfully in his chest as he pushed himself to keep up with her.

Vriska: Come on Vantas, I’ve r8ced Wigglers faster than you!

Karkat pushed past the tiredness that seeped into his bones and ran more, though he gained no speed the longer he ran after her. His feet ached, his legs felt raw, and soon he doubled over and gasped in lungfuls of air as he tried to desperately regain some energy. Vriska was still so much further than him, impatiently calling for him to keep moving, keep running, go faster.

He was bent over with his hands on his knees, huffing through his mouth as he breathed in and out.

Karkat: I…NEED…A MOMENT…

Vriska: Oh my god you will have ALL of the time in the WORLD to catch your 8reath
Vriska: We haven’t even run that far!

Karkat: FUCK…YOU….

He said to her as he caught his breath at last. Vriska had an unconcerned look on her face, but crossed her arms and began to speed off again at that same pace. Karkat jogged after her, and for the rest of the day they continued to run laps around the crystalline landscape. When they were finally done, Vriska’s form just dissipated entirely. Karkat returned to the stone to find the mark had faded after a while, which must have been why he could no longer see her.

Vriska: We’ll 8e doing that tomorrow to!
Vriska: Don’t get compl8cent it’s go time!
Vriska: I’m going to get you in sh8pe if it kills me
Vriska: And I’m technically already dead!
Vriska: I’m willing to die twice for this cause!

Karkat could do nothing at all, he didn’t even have the energy to respond to her. He slumped against the rock and slept that night. And the next morning, Vriska made him run again. They repeated this ritual of putting the blood on the stone, Vriska appearing in front of him, and challenging him to a race as she shot off faster than he could keep up.

Vriska: COME ON VANTAS GET MOVING!
Vriska: Is that the 8est you can do?
Vriska: If this were Alternia I’d have caught up to you 8 times over already and fed your scrawny ass to my lusus!

Karkat groaned but kept running. He didn’t know why he was going along with Vriska’s training regimen. He supposed he had nothing else to do and that this was the next best course of action. Maybe she was right and sitting around doing nothing and feeling sad was the wrong move. At least he was doing something about his problem.

Kanaya: That’s A Positive Attitude To Have
Kanaya: You Know All Of This Training Has Made Me Think…
Kanaya: That Perhaps Vriska Is Right And We Can Also Assist In Training You.

Kanaya’s voice spoke in his mind as he ran. So far all he’d been doing was running. Vriska didn’t make him do other things, but she had always been the fastest of their group when she was alive, so he supposed it made sense that this was her idea of training him.

Karkat: AND I SUPPOSE THE REST OF YOU HAVE OTHER CRUEL IDEAS IN THE WORKS OF HOW TO “TRAIN” ME?

Kanaya: My Training Wouldn’t Be So Physically Demanding

Equius: D→ Loathe as I am to admit it…I have a STRONG urge to help you
Equius: D→ I behoof you to consider listening to me
Equius: D→ In fact I command you to do as I say and let me train you as well

Karkat: NO

Equius: D→….
Equius: D→ I am so grateful I no longer have a need for towels while i share your mind

Karkat: GROSS
Karkat: LOOK
Karkat: IF YOU PROMISE TO NOT MAKE IT WEIRD AS FUCK I’LL MAYBE CONSIDER IT

Equius: D→ Duly noted

Terezi: 1 H4V3 4 F3W 1D34S TOO
Terezi: 1 C4N’T PROM1S3 TO GO 34SY ON YOU L1K3 K4N4Y4 THOUGH >:]

Kanaya: We Can Come Up With A Routine For You To Follow That Will Include Different Things From Each Of Us
Kanaya: Running Is A Great Start
Kanaya: But There’s Other Aspects You Could Use

Throughout that week, they crafted a schedule for Karkat to train him, and it was the most hellish week of his life. Vriska would force him to run as fast as possible in a race, and then after about 2 hours would let him rest so someone else could take the reins and teach Karkat something new. Kanaya, for instance, liked the idea of teaching him mental fortitude, seeing as having everyone in his mind all at once pained him. Eventually she helped him discover that having only a little blood on him was enough for that person's voice to be heard in his mind.

Kanaya: Let’s Practice Listening Without Any Blood At All
Kanaya: I’m Sure You Will Enjoy This Practice Because You Will Not Have To Dirty Yourself In The Process

Karkat: I DO LIKE NOT BEING COVERED IN VISCERA FOR ONCE YOU’RE RIGHT
Karkat: SO WHAT, I JUST SIT HERE AFTER I CLEAN MYSELF OFF FOR ONCE AND THEN…
Karkat: TRY TO HEAR YOU IN MY OWN HEAD??
Karkat: SOUNDS LIKE IT’D BE A WASTE OF TIME

Kanaya: Perhaps
Kanaya: But Think About It
Kanaya: What If One Day You Are Without Any Of Our Blood
Kanaya: Perhaps One Of Our Jars Breaks And You Can No Longer Get Access To Our Voice
Kanaya: You’d Be Unable To Hear That Person Until The Oath Was Complete
Kanaya: Or Worse You Could Lose *All* Of The Jars
Kanaya: And Then It’d Just Be You All By Yourself With No One To Talk To In Your Mind
Kanaya: The Loneliness Would Be Too Much Too Bare

Karkat:...
Karkat: THAT’S SOME BLEAK SHIT KANAYA BUT OKAY I SEE YOUR POINT

Kanaya: Good
Kanaya: Now Lets Start Meditating
Kanaya: This Was A Common Practice In The Brooding Caves
Kanaya: Sometimes Wigglers Would Become Too Rancorous And Without A Lusus Present You Would Have To Find Different Ways To Calm Them Down
Kanaya: I Remember From My Time Training, Though It Was Brief, That Being Calm Around A Wiggler Will Make Them Be Calm In Turn
Kanaya: Really It Is Just So You Won’t Go Mad Hearing Their Cries All Of The Time
Kanaya: But I Think This Will Help You, Since The Situation Is A Bit Similar In Nature

Karkat would meditate to tune out the voices of his friends to a manageable degree. When he had none of their blood on them, he could barely hear any of them. Closing his eyes and just trying to focus on the barely there whispers in his mind was the only calm part of his training. Everyone else seemed to have far more intensive ideas for Karkat instead.

Terezi: OK4Y SO 1 KNOW TH1S S33MS R1D1CULOUS
Terezi: BUT!
Terezi: TH1S 1S TOT4LLY GO1NG TO G3T YOU 1N TOUCH W1TH YOUR BLOOD POW3RS

Karkat held a red scarf in hand as he suspiciously looked at it.

Karkat: HOW DOES BLINDFOLDING ME AND HAVING ME WALK AROUND A CAVE MOST LIKELY FULL OF DANGEROUS CREATURES HELP ME AT ALL

Terezi: F1RSTLY
Terezi: TH3R3’S NOTH1NG D4NG3ROUS 4BOUT TH1S L4ND
Terezi: S3CONDLY 1T F4LLS 1N TH3 S4M3 R34LM TH4T K4N4Y4’S TR41N1NG F4LLS 1NTO
Terezi: 1’M H3LP1NG YOU G3T 4TTUN3D TO YOUR 4SP3CT
Terezi: JUST 1N TH3 OPPOS1T3 W4Y

Karkat: BUT DO I NEED TO BE BLINDFOLDED TO DO IT?
Karkat: THIS JUST HAS YOUR GRUBBY LITTLE PRANK PAWS ALL OVER IT TEREZI

Terezi: WOW 1 H4V3 NO WORDS
Terezi: 1 OFF3R TO H3LP 4N OLD FR1END OUT OF TH3 GOODN3SS OF MY UNB34T1NG PUSH3R 4ND TH1S 1S HOW H3 R3P4YS M3??
Terezi: W1TH B4S3L3SS 4CCUS4T1ONS 4ND N4M3C4LL1NG!?
Terezi: 1 GU3SS YOU DON’T W4NT TO KNOW HOW TO M4N4G3 H34R1NG 4LL THOS3 VO1C3S 1N YOUR H34D CONST4NTLY WH1L3 TRY1NG TO DO SOM3TH1NG 1MPORT4NT
Terezi: 1 SH4LL SHUT UP FOR3V3R 4ND K33P MY S3CR3TS CLOS3 TO MY CH3ST 1NST34D OF L3ND1NG 4 H4ND TO FR13ND 1N N33D

Karkat:....
Karkat: ARE YOU DONE?

Terezi: W1LL YOU PUT TH3 BL1NDFOLD ON?

Karkat: YES
Karkat: IF IT WILL MAKE YOU STOP THIS FAKE ASS DRAMATIC PITY PARTY I WILL PUT THE BLINDFOLD ON

Terezi: >:D
Terezi: JUST1C3 PR3V41LS 3V3N 1N TH3 F4C3 OF 4 WH1N1NG VANTAS
Terezi: NOW PUT THE BL1NDFOLD ON
Terezi: W3’R3 GO1NG FOR 4 W4LK WH1L3 1 T4LK TO YOU
Terezi: 1T’LL H3LP YOU W1TH MULT1T4SK1NG

Karkat was certain then that Terezi was just fucking with him for a laugh, but after a while he was able to hold a full conversation with her while he bumbled about a cave with no sight. Between this and meditation Karkat found that managing the ability to talk to all of them grew easier to handle. The strain of hearing all of their voices was still there, but he was growing used to it. Soon, he could do his morning run while talking to the others as Vriska spat insults at how slow he was without wanting to claw into his own head.

Days passed by and Equius spoke up after thinking about what he wanted to focus on with Karkat.

Equius: D→ You obviously don’t have a lot of MUSCLE to you.
Equius: D→ I have been pondering how to fix this and I believe I have a solution.
Equius: D→ Miss Serket mentioned that there were ruins around.
Equius: D→ You shall go into these ruins and explore them to search for the l00t inside.
Equius: D→ This will require you to do a lot of heavy lifting, climbing, and will result in adequate STRENGTH training.

Karkat: THAT DOESN’T SOUND SO TERRIBLE
Karkat: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE ME LIFT HEAVY ROCKS ABOVE MY HEAD LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT
Karkat: BUT I GUESS THIS IS A MUCH BETTER ALTERNATIVE

After meditation and clambering about blind in caves, he’d go looking for a ruin to explore. Each of their lands had complicated, dangerous structures that had treasure lying in wait. Karkat had never done any of the ones on his own land, as he thought they were a waste of time and the cohorts were too unintelligible to him. Aradia’s ruins were incredibly packed with rocks that had to be shoved into place, and traps that were designed to shoot sharp objects at you if you so much as stepped wrong down a hallway.

He’d made the mistake of doing just that and got an arrow made of crystal stuck in his side for it.

Kanaya: That Wound Looks Serious
Kanaya: Perhaps We Can Call Training Here Today And-

Karkat promptly ripped the arrow out and leaned against a wall. To his surprise, Carashawlsprite arrived after disappearing for all this time. In his claws were materials he’d need to bandage himself.

Karkat: I’M FINE.
Karkat: I JUST…NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THIS FIRST.
Karkat: FUCK THIS HURTS
Karkat: AND WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
Karkat: I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE YOU GAVE ME THE JARS.

Carashawlsprite said nothing, and would never say anything to Karkat except for a few clicks of its claws before it poofed away again.

Sollux: wow 2ome lu2u2 you have kk
Sollux: ii thiink iit beiing a 2priite ha2 changed iit2 nature though
Sollux: you saiid iit gave you the jars before we left for phaethon2 cave?

Karkat: YES
Karkat: THE BASTARD NEVER SAYS ANYTHING TO ME EITHER
Karkat: HE JUST HANDED ME THE JARS AND THEN FUCKED OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE
Karkat: HAVEN’T SEEN HIM SINCE UNTIL NOW ANYWAYS

Karkat explained as he carefully tended to his own wound. Thankfully, it seemed to be a shallow intrusion that could be covered with gauze and bandages.

Sollux: 2priite2 normally know everythiing about the game
Sollux: iidk why your2 doe2n’t talk much
Sollux: but he probably knew what you’d need becau2e of how our game2 changed
Sollux: but…wouldn’t that mean he knew the whole tiime thii2 would happen then…?

Aradia: all 0f this was due t0 happen
Aradia: i h0wever did n0t kn0w any 0f this w0uld 0ccur
Aradia: i presumed vriska g0ing t0 the denizens lair w0uld result in a different 0utc0me as all 0f my insight was p0inting t0 that being the case
Aradia: i was, 0f c0urse, wr0ng
Aradia: the sprite knew the truth the wh0le time
Aradia: 0urs pr0bably as well th0ugh i w0nder where they all are n0w

Karkat: SO YOU’RE TELLING ME ALL OF THIS COULD’VE BEEN AVOIDED?

Aradia: p0ssibly
Aradia: but n0t really
Aradia: this was always g0ing to happen
Aradia: trying t0 st0p it w0uld be p0intless
Aradia: s0 is thinking ab0ut the alternatives
Aradia: if i knew the truth i w0uldn’t have said anything either
Aradia: i supp0se i am at least thankful t0 have n0t been burdened with that kn0wledge f0r 0nce

After Karkat bandaged himself up, he took a few days to rest and heal. But once he was back on his feet and could move again without fear of hurting himself, he returned to the strict training that the others put him through. The first week he could barely reach Vriska as she raced ahead of him. But the second week, he wasn’t as winded as he used to be. Soon he was sprinting behind her with ease, and by the end of the month he finally caught up to her.

They still ran anyways, day after day, the training didn’t stop just because he had reached some sort of unspoken milestone. And Karkat didn’t want it to stop. He grew to enjoy running, jumping, and meditating. He grew familiar with walking through those old caves with Terezi in his mind trying to distract him as he reached the end of it. The ruins were always full of new twists and surprises that he dealt with easily.

Injuries were common, but that mattered not as he’d just get back up again. More months passed, he got himself a bigger weapon, something that’d be good for slaying a Denizen. He’d alchemized it with materials that Carashawlsprite had provided for him before the sprite went off again to who knows where. By the end of the year, he knew then he was ready to try at least. To find the next Denizen and take a shot at killing them.

He picked Echidna as the Denizen to kill first, and traveled to one of the few portals thankfully on ground level for him to get to. It seemed that because of the nature of the session, the portals had been moved to more convenient spots. Just as he was about to enter it, the dream ended with a loud crash in Karkat’s ear.

He jolted awake, his eyes groggily opening as he surveyed the dark, sandy cave he’d taken refuge in and took in the familiar sight of Tavros’ land. Tiredly rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he peered into the dark desert surroundings and noticed something new just out in the distance not far from where he’d made camp.

Large black plumes of smoke wafted into the air, as the smoldering remains of a peculiar metal ship peered back at him. It was so large that it disturbed the larger hills of sand and craggy rock, and Karkat knew what he was looking at then as his mind regained clarity from sleep.

The Aliens were here.

Chapter Text

Dave thinks this is it, this is his one chance to get it right and perfect without fucking anything up. He’s come so incredibly far, and is about to place the last piece he needs to finish his masterpiece. He carefully takes one bluray copy of “Aliens” between his fingers, and places it diagonally on the top of a pyramid of equally as shittily alchemized copies of the same movie. The covers have been incredibly pixelated and bitcrushed after being itemized with a Magic Movie Maker enshittifier, but you can still totally tell it’s Aliens from the horribly rendered Xenomorph on the front. Just as he is about to place the last bluray, the door to the ships common area is thrown open abruptly, toppling the whole pyramid in one go.

Dave: damn
Dave: i almost had it too until you decided to knock it over
Dave: what, are you using your wind powers to open doors now or something

John stands at the threshold with a curious look on his face as he stares at the scene.

John: Are those my copies of Alien that I made before we left?

Dave: maybe

John: dude!
John: i’ve been looking all over for these!
John: they were like the last few copies I had of my movie collection that came out of my old house
John: i thought they’d fallen out of the ship ages ago, but you’ve been using them to…
John: build pyramids?

Dave: i’ve been trying to at least
Dave: there’s really nothing to fucking do on this ship i’m so glad this is the last day
Dave: between this, making more comics, and writing sick rhymes…i’m out of gas man
Dave: and you’ve just blown down the last bit of entertainment i had on this bitch of a space shuttle

John: well whatever, are you ready to dock now?
John: that’s originally what i came in here for
John: Jade says we’re close to the planet now so we’ll be breaching it’s atmosphere in a matter of minutes!

Dave shuffles away the bluray bitcrushed copies of Alien, and puts them away on the shelf nearby. He was only half lying about being bored on the ship, in truth he’d found something to look forward to besides seeing a new place for once in the last seven years. Yesterday he had talked with *the* alien for the first time after John found that strange terminal. The spaceship, which was unusually made of a thick, bright gold, was humongous and so spacious that they’d never gotten the chance to properly explore the whole thing even in seven years. Finding the terminal had just been dumb luck on their part as they’d both decided to go for a walk and gotten lost on their way back after taking a few unfamiliar turns.

John: speaking of Alien, aren’t you a little excited to actually meet a *real* alien for the first time?
John: i mean i know we traveled to space and stuff when we first started playing this game
John: but we never actually met any real intelligent alien life at all!
John: what do you think the aliens look like?
John: because you mentioned him doing this whole thing solo i always imagined a toughened xenomorph type of creature that probably had fingers and hands to type

Dave: well there’s a dumb image i’ll never get outta my head now
Dave: i didn’t even ask him his name
Dave: he got too upset at me making fun of his sickle
Dave: and he most definitely is just talking himself up
Dave: i doubt he’s even an alien
Dave: we’ll probably get there and it’ll just be some regular guy who also got roped into this whole game one day

John: i’m still holding out hope that he’s telling the truth!
John: besides Rose says he’s not lying at all

Dave: what?

John: yeah after you recapped that whole convo you had with him earlier i told her about it
John: she said that it was all true and we’d definitely meet someone who isn’t a human on this planet.

Dave hid his weary expression behind his darkened shades. Rose was always predicting things nowadays and those predictions were happening sooner and sooner. She predicted that someone would use the terminal and talk to them, and then afterwards said they’d land soon. The only thing that worried Dave was how she never gave a damn time line for when any of her predictions were supposed to come true. She was never wrong, but you’d never know when anything was coming, which practically made the predictions almost useless.

Dave: she’s been Grimdark since we got on this ship
Dave: and her predictions are always so random she’s like an 8 ball that tells you jack shit
Dave: I mean at least the 8 balls tell you something vague like “to be determined” and “maybe so” so you’ll stop shaking the hell out of it
Dave: but there’s no shaking Rose out of her spooky dark magic state is there?

John looked down at his feet pensively, before he shrugged. He had also worried about the whole “Grimdark Rose” situation, how she’d randomly one day given herself over to some fabled elder gods that none of them had ever even heard of while playing the game. She was still helpful to all of them, but learning to understand her new mystifying speech and her terrifying mannerisms was exhausting. The only times she seemed to even be remotely normal was when she was asleep because at least then the sinister, dark aura that constantly surrounded her seemed to dissipate.

John: look
John: i don’t know what to do about Rose’s whole…elderitch horror shenanigans
John: and i’m pretty sure none of us do, so we're just going to have to come to terms with the fact that this…
John: is Rose now
John: I mean we even tried God tiering her and she was still a scary witch at the end of it, just stronger and with future sight!
John: if something like that can’t heal her then i guess she just isn’t meant to be healed at all
John: at least she’s not like…in pain i guess?

Dave: dude i don’t think being a vessal for horror terrors is painless

John: well i gotta assume the best!
John: if i don’t then that means there’s no hope and there’s nothing we can do for her at all!
John: aren’t we going to this new session for a fresh start?
John: i’m positive there will be something there that will help reverse whatever’s wrong with her!

Dave wasn’t so sure about that at all, but he didn’t say so. John had a pained expression on his face; he hated thinking about the implications of anything for too long because everything about this entire situation was completely messed up and out of their control. There was no solution he had found yet, so he’d just become content with the way things were. Even if they were so utterly abnormal that it gave him nightmares sometimes. They’d all had to find different things to fill their time with on this ship just so they wouldn’t go absolutely insane with boredom.

Dave had filled most of his time trying to explore the recesses of the ship with John, though they’d never reached all the corners of it. Rose was incredibly enthralled by the Horror Terrors, and was always studying some book in her room, or muttering to herself as visions of the future were shown to her. And Jade…

Dave: hey something just occurred to me
Dave: how are we gonna get all of Jades weird machines out of here if the ships just gonna crash?
Dave: won’t all that shit just break on impact

John paused for a moment, he also hadn’t thought about that.

John: maybe she can just resize all of them so they’re safe?
John: at least I hope she can, she really adores her inventions
John: i’d be sad if they all just broke apart or were destroyed in flames like that
John: especially the Movie Maker Enshittifier 3000 or whatever the hell you named it
John: why’d she let *you* name one and not me, anyways?

Dave shrugged with a smirk.

Dave: dunno
Dave: but i gotta admit that is my favorite useless tool she’s ever made
Dave: its how i made your terrible copies of Alien even worse, check it

He threw one of the blurays at John who just scowled and disappointingly put it away in his inventory. No doubt playing this terrible, jpeg crushed version of Alien would destroy any humble bluray player. John had the idea of maybe making a cruddy bluray player to match these copies but what would be the point? All of the best parts would just be pixelated and filled with garbage filtery noise the whole run time.

John: ah well i never liked this movie all that much anyways
John: it’s a bit overrated in my opinion and Sigourney Weaver was way better in Ghostbusters than she ever was as Ripley
John: She’s got so many great lines in that film!

Dave: John i can’t state this enough but when we meet the alien you can’t go and fill his head with a bunch of factoids on old 80s films
Dave: for one he’s an alien i doubt they even had movies or whatever on his planet
Dave: i mean i mentioned ben stiller and he asked me “who the fuck is ben stiller anyways?”
Dave: clearly you’d be wasting your time
Dave: talking to someone who doesn’t even know about ben stiller and his choppy acting is proof enough you’re worlds apart

John: i don’t see it that way
John: in fact i would say this is the perfect chance to get more people into the things i like
John: i’m actually glad i brought my movies with me all those years ago!
John: at first i thought it’d just be good to have them so i wouldn’t be bored
John: but now i can use them as like, a sort of cultural exchange!
John: and in my opinion don’t you think it’s kind of…racist?
John: to assume aliens might not have movies?

Dave: okay my bad
Dave: they might have movies you’re right
Dave: it’d be xenophobic though, not racist

John: right…
John: we should head to the front of the ship soon
John: i wanted to watch one more movie before the ship crashes but…oh well

Dave and John left the common area of the ship, and headed for the vast, open viewing area that was the front. Jade stood at the helm, though it went untouched for the entire seven year journey. It only needed to go in one direction the whole time so there was never any need for a real helmsman. As they entered the viewing room, Jade turned to look at them with a welcoming smile, her ears flicked in greeting.

Jade: you’re right on time, the planet’s in view!
Jade: come and have a look.

She ushered them both over to the large bay window, and they could see quite plainly a dusty, bronze colored world. John stared at it with his mouth agape, while Dave had no real expression to speak of. He definitely thought it looked cool as fuck though.

Jade: i have no real clue what’s on this planet aside from whatever Rose has told me
Jade: which is to say very little
Jade: there’s food for us, though it’s scarce…
Jade: and of course, the aliens.
Jade: have you talked to him recently again to let him know we’ll be there soon?

Dave shook his head.

Dave: that was hours ago
Dave: i tried leaving a few more messages but he just never responded
Dave: i guess i pissed him off too much by making fun of his garden tool of a weapon

Jade: well you can make it up to him in person by apologizing
Jade: i want everyone here so i can at least cushion our crash a little bit
Jade: where’s Rose, is she still in her room?

Rose: I have arrived.
Rose: I was in my quarters, studying. I asked for no disturbances but I should’ve known something like that would be impossible today.
Rose: We’ve reached the land finally, I implore all of you to act with caution once we finally disembark from this ship and head out.

Dave jolted at her voice coming directly from behind, as Rose floated idly in the air, her feet dangling uselessly beneath her as her dark robes ruffled with the power of her dark aura. It was a shadowy haze that covered her entire body, and made her already pale skin seem ashen and gray. Dave thought it made her look like a walking corpse, and the fully black eyes weren’t helping either. Seven whole years and he still hadn’t gotten used to how she could just sneak up on people.

John: why?
John: there’s only one guy on the planet right
John: and from what it sounds like, he already knows we’re coming and has made plans with Dave so it should be safe

Rose: The Knight of Blood does not know everything there is to know about the land.
Rose: Nor does he know the nature of how his session will change.
Rose: Because we are essentially bringing our own game to this world the two convergent sessions shall clash and combine.
Rose: His session will remain stable, but grow more difficult as the enemies we failed to slay will arise here on this desolate wasteland.
Rose: Currently there are nothing but harmless Cohorts on the planet because many of the Sprites originally held in this session were destroyed in favor of keeping only one.

Jade: something like that is possible without dooming it entirely?
Jade: that sounds a little crazy…

Rose: His session is being watched over by a higher dominion than anything we’ve faced currently.
Rose: Someone who is able to change the rules to fit his situation and to let him play everything out perfectly without resulting in a doomed session.
Rose: When we arrive, he shall have orders for us, but not before we-

Rose could not finish that sentence, as the ship began to shake violently. They had breached the land's atmosphere and Jade turned frantically back toward the viewing deck. She held her hands up, and framed the large window between two of her pointer fingers and thumb.

Jade: i can’t slow us down but i can at least bring us to a part of the land that’s not as craggy or…rocky!
Jade: you know, full of dangerous pointy shit that could totally rip us apart if we were to land on it too hard!

She began to crackle with green energy as she focused all of her power on finding the perfect spot to land this thing. John stumbled back, and held onto a table, while Dave tried to right his body in the air by floating. He tried doing what Rose was doing, floating amicably in the air with a straight face, but it was the most difficult thing ever in a giant metal skybox that was hurtling towards the planet at unimaginable speeds. The ground soon appeared as the clouds parted, Jade was still focusing her powers, soon the green energy enveloped the rest of the ship in a slow crawl.

A howling wind filled their ears as the ship broke through another layer of the atmosphere, and Dave had the horrifying realization that this thing might just burn before they ever even made it to the ground. That is, if Jade didn’t hurry up already and just find a place for them to crash land. He was thrown to the side, flat against the window as the ship suddenly stopped; sand and dust surrounded the viewing deck as it was pushed up by the force of the ship hurtling towards it.

Dave groaned, if he weren’t a god he would’ve certainly died there. The others looked equally as shaken, save for Rose who finally stopped her spooky floating to set her feet on the ground. Jade slumped against the ship's steering wheel, her entire frame shaking with exhaustion. John had a queasy look on his face, and Dave was thankful he wasn’t near him at the moment, lest he get front row seats to the Egbert vomit show.

Dave: hey guys i think we’re here

Jade: Ugh…shut up…my heads killing me
Jade: at least we all made it in one piece

John: can we at least wait a moment before we leave i seriously feel like i’m going to hurl

Just as John said that, a strange familiar impish sound came from the other side of the viewing room's door. Dave peeled himself off of the window to go and investigate, sliding the metal door open, only to be met with complete open wind and sand. The rest of the ship was gone. But that wasn’t the most distressing part of all of this. That impish noise had indeed come from an Imp, but this one was far bigger than Dave remembered any of them being. Its inky dark skin was raised into multiple sharp points; its shoulders and arms like natural spikey armor, and it seemed to have a dark shell made out of equally tough looking black bone.

Once it locked eyes with Dave, it let out a deafening screech, and it was then that Dave noticed it had a club in one of its huge pincers.

Dave: uh guys we’ve got company

John: is it the alien?

The imp answered that by raising its club and bringing it down hard in Dave’s direction, right where his head would’ve been. He managed to block the blow with his sword, but was still pushed back into the hull of the ship, knocking into John who’d finally looked up to see the real threat. His eyes bugged wide, and he straightened his glasses before materializing his hammer to deal with the threat.

Jade stood up fully, and growled at the intruder, but Rose still stood there without taking her needles out to join the strife. John and Jade both lunged for the large imp, a swing from the massive hammer made from steel cracked against the underside of the imp’s jaw, knocking it squarely off balance. Jade dug her canine claws into the imp’s shoulder to knock it to the ground, however it righted itself almost instantly before flinging the two of them back into the ship with its club claw.

The imp's ghoulish face had been knocked out of place by the force of John’s swing and they were all horrified to learn this thing wasn’t made from any kind of flesh, but a thick syrupy shadow. Its deformed face melded back together as if it had never been injured at all. Its fanged maw opened to roar at them, and then it was not alone. Other imps of varying sizes, with the same shadowy appearance appeared from seemingly nowhere, all glaring daggers at the gods that lay inside of the ship's hull.

They held their ground anyways, readying their weapons in case any of the imps got brave enough to start the charge. As Dave raised his sword again, the air beside his head was sliced through, as he carefully dodged a large blade like weapon that’d been thrown in his direction from behind the imp. It pierced through the large hulks body, cutting it clean in half much to the pain of the imp whose form dissipated in a poof of shadow after being felled. Dave glanced behind him, noting that the weapon that had been thrown was so large it cleaved the ships control console almost in half, the circuitry and wires now exposed. The other imps looked back at the person who’d attacked their supposed leader.

Dave inched closer to inspect the weapon and noticed its strange, curved blade. At a glance, he almost thought a whole claymore had been thrown through the hull of the ship, and that was what cleaved the imp in half. But on closer inspection, he was wrong. The shape of the blade was curved in a crescent shape. The hilt was covered in an assortment of different paints, and so was the blade. Blue, brown, green, and a hint of teal smattered the blade's edge. He realized then that what he was looking at was…

Dave: a sickle?

Before he could touch the hilt to at least pry it out of the console, the weapon dematerialized in pearls of red, shiny liquid. A thick scent of iron filled the air, and the blood streamed back towards its destination along the floor in a grisly smear. All four humans’ trailed the stream with their eyes, and landed on a lone figure cast in dusty shadow a few feet from the pack of imps. The sickle materialized by the hilt in the stranger’s hand. He stood tall as he walked toward the scene, his weapon in hand and at the ready.

John squinted as he tried to see into the sandy night air.

John: that’s gotta be him right?

Rose: Correct, It’s the Knight of Blood.

John: okay just checking
John: hey Rose when you said we’d have to be very cautious before we left…you *were* talking about these imps right?

Rose: Yes, I was.

John: okay great
John: just making sure
John: because, not to uh…alarm anybody, but the guy who just threw that giant fucking sword through our console is glaring pretty hard right now.

Rose: Yes, I suppose he is very angry right now.
Rose: Livid, one could say.

John: he’s not pissed at us though, right?
John: i mean we just got here.

Rose: I will refrain from answering that question.
Rose: It will only upset you.

Chapter Text

The curved blade of the Sickle cut cleanly through one of the slower imps that failed to run once the Knight of Blood regained his weapon. The monster dissipated immediately in an inky cloud, as if it had never been there at all. The other imps, still foolish enough to stand their ground and attack the Knight with their crude clubs, thrashed them in his direction. Unfortunately for them, the Gods in the ship’s hull took advantage of this and struck while their backs were turned, making short work of them all. The crowd dispersed and the remaining monsters, those not already brought down by the humans’ needles and claws, retreated into the dark, sandy dunes with their clubs trailing behind them like cowardly tails.

Dave inspected his sword and found nothing on it, even after cutting through a few of the imps himself, which left him confused. The ground around them was suspiciously clean of any impish remains; it was as if nothing had ever happened there. He looked up at the mysterious Knight of Blood now that he was up close, and realized he had no idea what to say. The Knight of Blood was clearly an alien, with grey skin and black hair trimmed neatly at the nape of his neck.Two small, nubbed horns peeked through his hair in an orange and yellow tipped hue. A scowl tugged at the light gray scars on his face, and his red eyes, set against yellow scleras, glared at the group of humans like they were just more imps waiting to be cut down.

He noticed there was no symbol for blood anywhere on him, which made Dave suspect he might not have been lying about not being a Godtier. Then Dave remembered just how split apart the console of the ship had been from the force of his throw, and reconsidered that thought entirely. Speaking of, the giant Sickle was more akin to a claymore sword than any small garden tool Dave had been envisioning. If the Knight of Blood’s been killing Denizens, he imagined a weapon of that size was sure to get the job done. It had cut through that ogrish Imp earlier like butter.

The Knight of Blood was strangely devoid of any actual blood on him, just strange splatters of paint that had faded with time. A deep indigo crawled up his arms, and there was more on the blade of the Sickle, though again Dave noticed nothing from the Imp’s touched the weapon or The Knight of Blood at all.

Jade was the first one to break the awkward silence as the Knight continued to glare at each of them in turn with obvious distrust. He hadn’t said a word this entire time.

Jade: hello!
Jade: you’re the lone player on this world i presume?
Jade: you know, you did a pretty good job handling some of those imps earlier.
Jade: we were totally caught off guard after the crash so you really helped us out
Jade: thanks for that!
Jade: i’m Jade, I was the pilot for the ship…
Jade: you know up until it crashed, heh…

The Knight had a strained and annoyed look on his face as he responded.

CG: HELLO.

They waited for him to possibly say more, but he didn’t. If anything, that same strained look crossed his face like he wasn’t paying attention to the rest of them, but still all too aware of them being right in front of him.

Jade coughed a bit awkwardly before she decided to continue on.

Jade: so…what’s your name?
Jade: we’ve uh…just been calling you The Alien this whole time
Jade: or by your classpect
Jade: i’m sure you saw earlier but i am a space player
Jade: we have a Knight too, you know!

Dave: uh yeah he knows Jade
Dave: i’m the one who pissed him off remember?

Jade: ah right…
Jade: well in any case, i feel introductions are in ord-

Karkat: MY NAME IS KARKAT.

John chuckled a little and Karkat turned his defiant stare on to him fully, pinning him with a rueful sharp as daggers. John immediately stopped chuckling, and avoided his gaze entirely.

Karkat: IS SOMETHING FUNNY?

John: i uh…
John: your name is just kind of…
John: nevermind.
John: I’m John by the way!
John: nice to meet you!

Karkat didn’t say anything and turned to leave, his weapon disintegrated into those same familiar, red droplets and swirled into his hand until it was gone.

Dave: where are you going?

Karkat paused, and turned back as if he forgot they were there.

Karkat: OH RIGHT. FOLLOW ME, THERE’S A CAVE NEARBY.
Karkat: WE CAN TALK THERE INSTEAD OF OUT HERE.

Karkat stalked off without sparing a glance back at them. Jade sighed, and held a disdainful look on her face as she reluctantly urged the others to fall in step. John looked at Dave and just shrugged as he followed behind Jade with Rose at his side.

John: i guess he’s not much for small talk?
John: maybe it’s just an alien thing

Dave: maybe

Dave wasn’t so sure of that at all considering the guy seemed pretty chatty online. Though people were always different in real life than they were on the internet. Maybe this was just the real Karkat? And he was just more…confident behind a screen. With the determined gait he had the whole way towards the dark cave, however, Dave wasn’t sure of that either. As they sat down in the cave, and hastily made a lightsource much to the obvious annoyance of Karkat but who refrained from outwardly saying anything about it, Jade decided to try again with the introductions and give this newcomer they just met the benefit of the doubt.

Jade: Dave says you’re doing this whole thing solo and that you’ve killed Denizens before…
Jade: we brought our own planets with us
Jade: from our old doomed session that is
Jade: i’m not sure why you’re killing Denizens but they’re supposed to help you out with the quests in each land.
Jade: i guess i’m just curious how you plan on…winning without them?

Karkat leaned against the far wall of the cave away from the small fire they’d made. Dave could tell from the way he squinted his eyes at the glaring light that he must have just hated how bright it was. That too, must just be some weird alien thing he was subtly picking up on. Again, Karkat seemingly ignored them all, continuing to sharpen some dagger against a stone idly as if Jade hadn’t spoken at all.

Jade: you know…
Jade: it’s actually pretty rude to ignore a person talking?
Jade: i don’t know if it’s a cultural thing because we’re both aliens but-

Karkat: I WASN’T IGNORING YOU
Karkat: I HEARD YOU

Jade: well???

Dave: hey maybe the guy’s just tired?
Dave: i mean we are all pretty banged up after that experience
Dave: it might be best to just chill for a bit until shit settles

Jade had an equally annoyed look on her face as she stared at Karkat, before relenting. Dave understood why she was so pissed off, they’d barely survived that and the guy who saved them was some silent type douche from a sci-fi novel who can’t even be assed to listen to them for a couple of minutes. At least…that’s how it appeared.

Something in Dave's gut was telling him that there was just something wrong about this whole situation, and that’s when it dawned on him finally.

Dave: hey where are those others Rose mentioned?
Dave: you said there’d be alien(s)
Dave: plural and shit
Dave: but there’s just one guy

Rose: They’re here.
Rose: They’re just…preoccupied at the moment.
Rose: We won’t be meeting them now.

Karkat let out a scoff at that, but continued to just sharpen his dagger as if he wasn’t listening in on their conversation. After a while, the others settled into a quiet lull in the cave, deciding to get comfortable as this would be where they’d stay until they got proper sleeping situations. Dave glanced at Karkat through his dark shades, he was thankful the alien was seemingly so busy with that dagger of his that he wouldn’t notice Dave getting a closer look.

To his surprise however, Karkat locked eyes directly with him, a look of pure indignation on his face. Dave decided to stop subtly checking the guy out because he wasn’t being nearly as subtle as he’d thought. Finally, Karkat put the dagger away and began to speak to them.

Karkat: ALRIGHT I’M READY TO ANSWER ANY OF YOUR STUPID FUCKING QUESTIONS IN PERSON IF YOU HAVE ANY.
Karkat: I’VE BEEN DREADING YOUR ARRIVAL SINCE I HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF FOLLOWING THAT COHORT INTO THE BUNKER…
Karkat: CLEARLY YOU ALL HAVE USELESS THINGS YOU WANT TO BERATE ME WITH SO GET IT OVER WITH I SUPPOSE.

As he mentioned the cohort, a strange cow looking creature with adorable stubby little legs came trotting from the back of the cave. Jade’s icy demeanor from earlier melted at the sight of the cute little creature, and even Dave had to admit it was pretty endearing with its beady little cow eyes and round face. It did nothing to take any of the edge off Karkat’s attitude, however.

Jade: Awww!
Jade: is this a pet of yours?
Jade: he’s adorable!

Karkat: THIS IS THE COHORT WHO LEAD ME TO THE BUNKER WHERE I WASTED MY TIME SPEAKING WITH ONE OF YOU
Karkat: IT HAS BEEN FOLLOWING ME EVER SINCE AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TELL IT TO FUCK OFF

Jade: maybe you shouldn’t tell it that?
Jade: are all aliens this rude, anyways?
Jade: you're kind of cold hearted and quite frankly it makes you seem like a huge jerk.

Karkat: SO I’VE BEEN TOLD

Karkat’s lips quirked into a smarmy smirk as he said that, and Dave couldn’t believe this guy actually had the gall to smile at all. He chalked it up to overconfidence or maybe Jade was right and her lowkey xenophobic remark was true: aliens were kind of rude.

Jade: well can i at least ask how you’re doing this solo?
Jade: it just seems impossible
Jade: and you’re not a godtier so what gives?

Karkat: QUITE FRANKLY THAT KIND OF INFORMATION SEEMS TOTALLY POINTLESS TO TELL YOU

Jade: well i’m a curious person
Jade: so humor me

Karkat: I TOOK AN OATH WITH A DENIZEN
Karkat: I HAVE TO KILL ALL OF THE DENIZENS IN ORDER TO FULFILL THIS OATH
Karkat: IF I DON’T, I WILL LOSE EVERYTHING
Karkat: THAT’S REALLY ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER

Dave: is it?
Dave: dude come on you can’t just start a story like that and not even elaborate a little
Dave: what's all this oath shit you’re even talking about?

Karkat’s damningly smug look returns to his face as he stares at Dave, and he has to admit it does weird things to his stomach that he’s never thought about until now in that dark cave. He’s at least glad while this mysterious, cool alien Knight can read his eyes pretty well, he’s not a mind reader on top of that. At least he hoped Karkat wasn’t.

Karkat: I THOUGHT YOU’D KNOW ALL ABOUT OATHS CONSIDERING YOU’RE A GODTIER KNIGHT
Karkat: IT’S ONE OF THE FEW SKILLS KNIGHTS HAVE THAT MAKE THEM INCREDIBLY USEFUL PRE-GODTIER
Karkat: KNIGHTS CAN SWEAR AN OATH TO A HIGHER BEING AND GAIN IMMENSE PRIVILEGE IN THE GAME THROUGH KEEPING THE PROMISE
Karkat: SOUNDS A HELL OF A LOT MORE USEFUL THAN JUST RELYING ON LAME DEAD VERSIONS OF MYSELF, DOESN’T IT?

John: uh, so you are like…tied or whatever to a promise and that’s why you’re so strong?
John: like the more you believe in this oath the more power you get!
John:....
John: am i right?

Karkat looked at John and rolled his eyes at him, which made John sheepishly scratch a hand behind his head awkwardly as he tried to think of a different theory that made more sense.

Karkat: NO OBVIOUSLY NOT
Karkat: WHAT KIND OF WIMPY NONSENSE IS THAT?
Karkat: I AM “STRONG” BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD.

They all looked at him in confusion, and Karkat sighed, holding up one of his hands and gesturing at the splatters of dark, vibrant blue that painted it.

Karkat: THIS IS OBVIOUSLY BLOOD
Karkat: I KNOW YOU’RE ALIENS BUT COME ON NOW
Karkat: YOU ALL USE YOUR ASPECTS TO FIGHT AND THIS IS HOW I USE MINE

John: humans don’t have blue blood
John: honestly I assumed that was just paint or something?

Jade: yeah me too
Jade: but i guess it makes sense that aliens don’t bleed the same as we do
Jade: plus i can’t imagine a guy as sour as Karkat to love painting and stuff, at least not enough to decorate his uh…nice weapon.
Jade: we’re here to help out as well we want to win this game the same as you!
Jade: maybe we could help you kill some of those Denizens or something?
Jade: i’ve got a few tools that’s a lot better than that sickle of yours anyways

Karkat: I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP
Karkat: YOU BEING HERE IS RUINING MY PLANS ANYWAYS
Karkat: THE BEST COURSE OF ACTION WOULD BE FOR YOU TO GET THE FUCK OFF THIS PLANET AND GO BACK TO YOUR OWN DOOMED SESSION TO FACE YOUR FAILURE
Karkat: BUT I AM TOLD THAT IS “IMPOSSIBLE” FOR SOME REASON SO
Karkat: YOU WILL HELP ME IN SOME OTHER WAY THAT DOESN’T FUCK WITH ANY OF THE THINGS I WAS ALREADY GOING TO DO
Karkat: BESIDES YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO KILL THE DENIZEN AT ALL
Karkat: YOU’D MESS WITH THE OATH THEN AND I CAN’T HAVE THAT

Jade crossed her arms at him, just as the mood had finally simmered to something a bit cordial, it’d been ruined all over again thanks to Karkat’s rejection.

Karkat: TROLLS ARE STRONGER THAN HUMANS ANYWAYS
Karkat: YOU’RE A BUNCH OF SOFT FLESH BAGS, YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE GODTIER THAT YOU CAN JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AGAINST ANY FOE?
Karkat: YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE THICK CARAPACE OR CLAWS

Jade: oh i’ve got claws alright
Jade: you wanna see ‘em?

John: okay! Look I think we all probably got off on the wrong foot!
John: Jade, i know Karkat seems kind of like a huge asshole here but i really think it’s just because we’re all super stressed out
John: we just got to this land and well…it is his session after all?
John: so maybe he knows what's best for how to play his game?

Jade narrowed her eyes at Karkat and glanced at John. She stood up abruptly and headed out for the cave.

Jade: you know what, i’m going to go check on the wreckage in the ship
Jade: there’s probably still things left back there that we could use to sleep on something other than pointy hard rocks

The humans watched her storm off, Dave hoped she’d come back less angry at their rude new host. Things were going south pretty quickly all things considered, and they’d barely learnt anything about the guy who helped them all out earlier. Dave’s eyes slid back towards the dark interior of the cave, only to be met with Karkat glaring at him again in that same, forward scowl. Dave had the singular thought that maybe he might’ve pissed this intimidating alien off across a screen way more than he first realized, but Karkat simply launched into an explanation of what he needed their help with.

Karkat: YOU ALL WILL DO THE QUESTS I CANNOT DO TO HELP ME FIND THE NEXT DENIZENS LAIR
Karkat: THIS SESSION DOESN’T WORK THE WAY YOURS DID, THE RULES ARE DIFFERENT.
Karkat: I *HAVE* TO KILL THE DENIZENS THAT IS THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO WIN AT ALL
Karkat: EACH DENIZEN IS HIDING SOMEWHERE AND THE ONLY WAY TO FIND THEM IS TO HELP THESE STUPID LITTLE MOOBEASTS WITH THEIR PROBLEMS.

Dave: why can’t you just do that?
Dave: no offense or anything you just seem like the kind of guy who knows how to do pretty easy shit like collect 5 pebbles and bring ‘em to a specific location
Dave: i can’t imagine a little cow creature like that would ever need anything more complex than that

Karkat: IT’S BENEATH ME AND I HATE DOING THEM
Karkat: THIS IS PAYMENT FOR STAYING IN MY SESSION WITHOUT PERMISSION TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT
Karkat: NOW…IT’S GETTING LATE, I’M GOING TO REST.
Karkat: TOMORROW YOU WILL SOLVE THE PROBLEM OF THE MOOBEAST FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE.

He laid down and ignored the rest of them, seemingly going to sleep just like he said he would. John looked back out at the cave’s entrance with a furrowed brow. Jade was still out there, and might not be back for a while if her angry stomps had been anything to go by. Rose simply laid back and closed her own eyes, not at all worried about the circumstances they’d been put into.

John: you think i should go and check on jade…?

John looked to Dave for answers, who really didn’t have any. Jade had been their leader throughout most of this adventure, but even she could be a bit close to anger at times. He stood up and headed for the exit of the cave.

Dave: i’ll go check on her dude
Dave: you can rest for a bit
Dave: i’m sure she’s fine or cooled off by now anyways…

He was lying, she was most definitely still pissed off but that was something that he could deal with later once he spoke with her. As Dave exited the cave he headed straight for the wrecked ship they’d flown in on, and floated idly across the dunes to where he knew Jade would be. In the distance, as he grew closer to it, he could see the warm green glow of her power emanating from a hunched over form, with the familiar sparks of a tool kit flying near its head. Jade had rummaged through the ship’s destroyed front half and found the spare tool kit she had kept in various parts of the place for repairs.

She was currently working on the destroyed console of the ship, welding the more mangled parts back together, not minding the sparks from the fire at all as she worked. As Dave landed inside of the ship's interior, he got a good look at the damage that the crash had caused.

Dave: so uh….
Dave: that alien’s a real piece of work, right?

Jade stopped welding and slammed the tool down in frustration.

Jade: he’s a total…
Jade: ASSHOLE
Jade: how did you even have a conversation with someone like that!?
Jade: i mean, Rose told me he’d be different because he was an alien but she didn’t say he’d be a huge douchebag to us when we just met him!
Jade: i thought he’d need our help at least when we got here but instead he’s just being some loner in a cave and killing the Denizens for some fucking reason.
Jade: whoever is in charge of his session clearly doesn’t know what they’re doing and they’re just going along with whatever feeds this jerks ego the most!
Jade: for someone who lives in a cave he sure likes to talk down to BASICALLY everyone for no goddamned reason!
Jade: AND HE FUCKED UP MY CONSOLE!

She kicked the destroyed ships console in frustration, and left a noticeable dent in the metal frame.

Jade: he called us weak?
Jade: he’s not even a Godtier!
Jade: where does he get off on calling ME weak just because he’s slain a few oversized snakes???

Dave: so what are you doing out here anyways?
Dave: i thought you said you were looking for things to sleep on

Jade: i was until i found this toolkit…
Jade: if he wants us off this world so damn bad maybe i’ll just rebuild the ship and we can kiss his sorry ass goodbye forever.
Jade: i don’t even know where we’d go but it wouldn’t have to be here that’s for fucking sure

Dave coughed awkwardly, she wasn’t there for the rest of the monumentally annoying news that Karkat had sprung on all of them, and he realized he’d have to be the one to break it to Jade.

Dave: well he *does* need our help actually
Dave: he wants us to help him find the next Denizen to kill
Dave: apparently those little cows or whatever have quests and we gotta do them to reveal the location of those big ass snakes
Dave: it shouldn’t be too hard anyways what more could little cows even want anyways?

Jade: are you seriously considering we help him after this?

Dave: i don’t feel too giddy about it myself
Dave: i mean i’m not jumping for joy and clicking my heels at the idea of doing fetch quests for a narc from outer space but it just seems…easier than rebuilding the ship.
Dave: and i think you need a break anyways
Dave: you’ve been stressing yourself out for the whole journey trying to get us here in one piece
Dave: i know this guys a massive tool who’s pretty fucking mean to people who just showed up but i don’t think that should ruin this whole thing for us
Dave: helping some little cows sounds a hell of a lot better than killing low ranking gods anyways
Dave: let me handle this weird alien while the rest of you just relax a little

Jade: are you sure?
Jade: you know you don’t have to hang around him if you don’t want to just for our sakes

Dave: hey what do you take me for
Dave: i’ve been nothing but an incredibly lazy sack of shit the whole ride here hanging out with one asshole for a bit is the least I can do
Dave: besides i…already kinda told him i’d do this anyways?
Dave: i sort of challenged him to beat a denizen in front of me because i didn’t believe him when he said he’s killed 5 of them before with a sickle
Dave: guys been glaring straight holes into me the whole time so he’s definitely not forgotten

Jade let out a laugh then, breaking the angry tension that had filled the air between them.

Jade: only *you* could piss an alien off enough to make him wanna slay a god
Jade: alright then, i guess it won’t hurt to just help those cute little cows out then.
Jade: fixing the ships not entirely off the board though
Jade: it could be done if I just resized it to a manageable degree and worked on it in my spare time
Jade: he must have an alchemiter somewhere on this dusty rock of a planet
Jade: otherwise how’d he make that weapon of his?

Dave: ugh i can’t believe i called that a garden tool
Dave: there’s no denying it looks cool as fuck in person
Dave: the only thing i’m losing out on by hanging out with this guy is that he’s going to look infinitely cooler than me slaying gods and stuff
Dave: and don’t tell him i said this obviously but he’s way more…i don’t know what the word is exactly.
Dave: scary?
Dave: rugged?

Jade: rugged?
Jade: really Dave?

Dave: i’m floundering here Jade, cut me some slack.

She rolled her eyes at him with a knowing smile and a shake of her head.

Jade: are you sure you don’t think he’s just kind of hot?

Dave: what
Dave: no way the guys a massive jerk remember

Jade: you can still find massive jerks hot, Dave :/

Dave: okay well i definitely don’t think that
Dave: i have no idea what’s going through your mind missy but i’m fully on board with the karkat hate train
Dave: maybe *you’re* the one who thinks he’s hot ever think of that
Dave: you’re projecting probably or whatever psychoanalytical bullshit Rose would spout here to get the heat off my back momentarily
Dave: point is
Dave: i don’t think he’s hot

Jade still seemed unconvinced and had an amused look on her face. Dave was just glad she wasn’t steaming mad anymore, even if it came at his expense a little. As they walked back to the cave, they found the others asleep, snoring softly as they laid in various spots in the cave. Rose was still slumped back against the wall, and John had parked himself next to her. The fire had burned out by now, obscuring the entire cave in a dense darkness. Just beyond the darkness further in the cave, Karkat was asleep as well with the cow cohort close beside him. For a guy who seemed to really hate cohorts, it sure did seem to like him as it was all bundled up by his leg.

Tomorrow was when they’d finally get some real work done. While the others slept, Dave laid down and tried his best to catch a wink of sleep as well. He couldn’t get it out of his head, however. The solitary thought that he’d have to entertain this guy while the others got to help little cows all day. Alone. He chalked up the churning feeling in the pit of his stomach to unease, even though it didn’t quite feel like that at all.

Chapter Text

Dave woke up to the sound of footfalls in the cave, he blearily opened his eyes to find Karkat exiting quietly. Sunlight peaked over the horizon and the golden shell of the ship crested over a particularly large dune, still sitting there from last night. He sat up, tiredly rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and pushed his shades up only slightly before fixing them back on his face. Karkat turned his head and glanced at Dave, clearly he hadn’t expected for anyone to catch him leaving so early.

Dave: where are you headed, suns just coming up

Karkat: A RUN.

Dave didn’t feel like joining him on whatever morning training session he normally had, but he remembered he’d have to spend time all day with Karkat if he was going to keep some distance between him and his friends. This whole alien partnership hinged on everyone being able to tolerate each other for just a bit; the best way to do that in Dave’s opinion was if they barely interacted in the first place. The others were still fast asleep, though Dave had the sneakiest suspicion that Rose was merely meditating and pretending to be asleep so no one would disturb her. He could vaguely see some remnants of the black aura that emanated from her eyes leaking through her closed lids. No doubt if she woke up now, she’d have some other vague, scary prophecy to relay to him; Dave really didn’t feel like adding that onto the pile of other vague, spooky prophecies.

Dave sighed, patted his legs before he stood up and went to catch up with Karkat. The Troll looked back at him with annoyance clear on his face, but he continued to let Dave float idly next to him as they left the cave. Now that it was just the two of them, he supposed he could at least break the ice and get over whatever awkward tension was eating away at them.

Dave: you know when i was on the ship i wasn’t much for running or exercising
Dave: Jade wanted to build some kind of physical fitness room but she just didn’t have enough material for it
Dave: personally i just didn’t think something like that was even needed considering we’re all gods or whatever
Dave: but she insisted and tried to make, like, a shit ton of blue prints that had all sorts of equipment in it
Dave: i mean you have an alchemiter out here don’t you
Dave: going for a run’s pretty archaic with alchemy involved now
Dave: you could make yourself a treadmill and some really sweet digs for that cave back there
Dave: it sucks ass trying to sleep on rocks all night, carapace or not
Dave: you never thought about just making some bedsheets or something to sleep on instead?
Dave: or go back to your old house i mean mine’s on my planet that Jade’s been carrying around so we could probably take a visit if we’re in need of soft material to rest our heads on
Dave: you’re probably used to roughing it out in the wild though
Dave: don’t know your circumstances exactly its just the vibe i’m getting
Dave: where are we going anyways you haven’t started running yet

Karkat hadn’t answered any of Dave’s inquiries the whole time they walked. He held a very concentrated look as he marched forward to whatever destination they were headed for. Dave looked back to where they’d come from; he noticed the cave was a good distance away now, but still in sight. As they continued onward, he peppered Karkat with even more questions and decided to not let up once on the one sided conversation. He was certain Karkat was barely listening to him as sometimes he’d roll his eyes at a question Dave asked instead of just saying anything.

Dave: you know you’re not nearly as chatty as i thought you’d be
Dave: it’s kind of weird but i imagined you’d be the type of person to go on long winded rants and tirades or something
Dave: it’s really making this whole trip between us a bit difficult
Dave: like here i am extending my metaphorical olive branch and i can’t even get a “wow thats crazy” every now and then
Dave: then again it’s like, what do we even have left to talk about
Dave: i already rapped my journey to you earlier over the internet
Dave: i mean you never heard me rap in real life so i guess i could potentially fill the air with that while we walk
Dave: you still haven’t started running so i figure there’s nothing better to do until then

Finally, Karkat turned to Dave with an angry look and placed a rough carapaced hand over his mouth, clamping it shut.

Karkat: SHUT UP BEFORE I *MAKE* YOU SHUT UP.
Karkat: I AM TRYING TO THINK OVER HERE
Karkat: HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN ALONE WITH YOUR OWN THOUGHTS OR SOME SHIT FOR MORE THAN 5 SECONDS?
Karkat: ANYWAYS, WE’RE NOT RUNNING ANYMORE I CHANGED MY MIND.
Karkat: HALFWAY BETWEEN YOU ASKING ME INANE THINGS LIKE “WHAT’S IT LIKE TO SLEEP ON ROCKS ALL DAY” AND “DO I EAT BUGS” I REALIZED IT’LL BE AWHILE BEFORE WE FIND A DENIZEN TO KILL.
Karkat: SO WE WILL DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT INSTEAD.

Karkat smiled at Dave with a mouth entirely full of too sharp teeth, alongside an air of challenge that made the strange churning in the pit of his stomach from earlier return. He glanced away from Karkat, and told himself to get a grip already, pushing the alien's hand away from his mouth in favor of speaking less. He guessed Karkat really had been listening that whole time.

Karkat: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A RUINS BEFORE?

Dave: i’ve explored a shit ton of old, dusty ass buildings on my own world, yeah

Karkat rolled his eyes at Dave, and scoffed.

Karkat: I MEAN A RUINS WITH TRAPS AND TREASURES, MORON.
Karkat: NONE OF THAT WIGGLER SHIT YOU’VE PROBABLY EXPERIENCED ON YOUR PLANET.
Karkat: WELL, YOU’RE GOING TO EXPLORE A RUIN TODAY, THERE’S ONE NEARBY THAT I HAVEN’T GONE INTO YET.
Karkat: I WAS PLANNING ON DOING IT ALONE.
Karkat: BUT THEN A BUNCH OF ANNOYING ALIENS FROM SPACE CRASHED MY SESSION TO SAVE THEIR OWN ASSES.
Karkat: IF YOU WANT ALL YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED YOU’RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME.

Dave: that’s cool with me
Dave: don’t know if i can be quiet forever though that’s a promise i will never keep
Dave: honestly, i think you just fucked up taking me along with you if you wanted peace and quiet
Dave: i think out of all of us, between me and Egbert i never shut the fuck up the most
Dave: you should’ve dragged Rose’s spooky ass with you into this decrepit dungeon
Dave: she never speaks unless it’s in tongues or to relay some cryptic message from the elder gods or whatever

They had finally stopped walking and seemed to have arrived at a large door that towered over both of them. It was carved out of dusty sandstone; the visage of a bull with enormous horns was chiseled into the rock. There seemed to be no handles at all, and no real way to enter, but Karkat boldly strode forward anyways. He pushed against the doors without much effort; they parted slowly with a low grind against the ground. The sand beneath the door was swept inward to the smooth flooring in the ruins. As they walked inside, Karkat took a dagger from a side sheath on his hip, and brought the blade down on his palm. Dave grabbed his arm in shock.

Dave: dude what the fuck knock it off

Karkat yanked his hand back with a disgruntled look on his face. He dragged his bloody palm against the wall of the cave, leaving a crimson trail that dripped down. Once he was done, he put the blade back in its sheath and rolled his eyes in annoyance at Dave.

Karkat: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS ON THAT ONE, HUMAN.
Karkat: AND KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF NEXT TIME.

Dave: i was trying to help but okay
Dave: you know, where i’m from people who do that sort of thing aren’t doing okay upstairs
Dave: i know you’ve lived alone most of your life, but i didn’t think you were that far gone

Karkat ignored him in favor of going deeper into the ruins entrance. It was dark inside without any light, Dave had trouble even seeing a few steps inside of the cavernous space. Karkat walked inside without looking back at Dave at all, and the human just haplessly decided to follow along anyways, sight be damned. A few moments later, a spark lit up in the dark space to reveal a torch in Karkat’s waiting hand. He handed it to Dave but made none for himself.

Karkat: I REALIZED YESTERDAY YOUR KIND IS INCREDIBLY BLIND AND CANNOT SEE IN THE DARK THAT WELL.
Karkat: THIS TORCH IS THE ONLY CRUTCH YOU’LL GET BY THE WAY.
Karkat: ONCE OUR RACE BEGINS I WON’T BE HELPING YOU ANYMORE AND I WON’T STOP UNTIL I REACH THE END OF THE RUINS.

Dave: wait, race?
Dave: i kind of assumed we’d just walk through this whole thing together

Karkat: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Karkat: YOU WOULD JUST SLOW ME DOWN AND I CAN’T HAVE THAT
Karkat: AND…IS THAT “WORRY” I HEAR IN YOUR VOICE?
Karkat: DON’T TELL ME YOU, A GODTIER, IS AFRAID OF A FEW TRAPS AND PITFALLS HERE AND THERE?
Karkat: IF ANYONE SHOULD BE WEARY IT’S ME. AFTER ALL I’VE ONLY GOT A ‘GARDEN TOOL’ TO PROTECT ME.
Karkat: THAT’S NOTHING COMPARED TO YOUR COOL SWORD OR WHATEVER LAME STICK YOU’VE BEEN USING TO, WHAT, POKE IMPS TO DEATH?

He threw his head back and laughed in Dave’s face, the sound reverberated off the ruin walls and echoed throughout the entire dungeon. The point of a sword rested gently underneath Karkat’s chin right by the center of his neck; Dave had unsheathed it so fast with the torch still in hand that the only warning he had was a flash of silver before it was right there threatening to slice through his jugular if he moved even slightly forward. He eyed the sword warily for a moment, before turning his gaze to Dave’s stoney face. They glared at one another; Karkat’s red glower was mirrored back at him in those dark, impassive shades.

Dave: does this look like a “stick” to you?

Karkat: WHATEVER.
Karkat: WE’LL SEE HOW WELL YOU HOLD UP *AFTER* I BEAT YOU IN THIS RACE.
Karkat: I’LL EVEN LET YOU USE THOSE TIME POWERS OF YOURS.
Karkat: NOT THAT IT’LL HELP YOU MUCH.

He pushed the sword away and headed deeper into the ruins. Despite his warnings earlier for how dangerous they could be, Karkat had a determined gait as he walked through it without needing a torch to light the way. The troll took off in a run, leaving Dave behind completely, and soon the race was on. Dave held onto the torch tightly, and sheathed his sword again behind him as he ran to catch up.

He could make out the outline of Karkat’s back as he traversed through the first set of traps in the ruins that activated upon stepping on an out of place stone. The walls on either side revealed small holes that shot darts, of which Karkat ducked and slid along the rocky path to escape the danger. Dave flew over them, he eyed the way they stuck into the opposite wall next to him and seemed to leak some kind of green fluid.

He barely had time to react to a slab stone falling from the ceiling and almost flattening him. Dave paused in midair, and looked up where a slab had been connected by rope that would drop it in the middle of the increasingly slim pathway. He had to wonder who was making all of this stuff, and why would they include such dangerous traps and shit if the whole planet is supposedly run by cute little cow creatures. With a shake of his head, he floated around it and hurried after Karkat.

Despite the ability to fly, he noted that Karkat was still leagues ahead of him, which made him wonder as well how someone could ever be faster than a flier ever. The very real thought of him potentially losing this little race was becoming more of a reality. A pitfall full of spiked spears appeared randomly, but Karkat found a way around it anyways as he used the side wall like a spring board to finish the jump. As Dave flew over it he noticed the very distinct cow shaped skeletons at the bottom, and realized perhaps they hadn’t been the first morons to try and raid this place. Let alone, race each other in it.

Karkat skidded to a stop as the path was blocked by a stone that fit squarely in the only doorway available. Dave set his feet on the ground next to Karkat, and shrugged at the troll.

Dave: oh well
Dave: guess that concludes this race of ours
Dave: how the hell are you so fast anyways i’m literally flying

Karkat: MAYBE YOU’RE JUST SLOW.
Karkat: EVER THINK OF THAT?
Karkat: AND THIS IS NOT THE END, I WILL MOVE THE ROCK IN A MOMENT.

Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades and raised an eyebrow skeptically at Karkat. The boulder looked pretty snug and stuck inside of the carved out stone archway. It was larger than either of them; Dave was certain that even with Godtier powers the only way they’d get it out is if they shrunk it down in some way.

Dave: don’t overexert yourself just to prove something dude
Dave: i get it you’re soooo much better than me
Dave: you already won the race so what does it-

Karkat ignored him, and reached inside of the satchel on his back. In his hand he held a jar that was filled with bright blue liquid, it sloshed around inside of the jar in a way that was way too reminiscent of something other than paint. He unscrewed the lid, dipped his hand into it and began to cover his palms in the mystery substance. Dave lingered closer to him out of curiosity and noted the strong smell of iron, like freshly spilled blood waft from the jar. He hadn’t wanted to believe those jars were full of blood, but this was undeniable proof in front of him now.

Karkat went up to the flat side of the stone, he dragged a finger across it in a diagonal line. In the end, he drew the sign of sagittarius on the side of the boulder. Dave’s head tilted in open confusion, as he had also not assumed that aliens even knew about the Horoscope. While he stood back and watched Karkat put his palms on the side of the boulder and push, he realized that he’d learned quite a bit from just this one "immovable" obstacle in front of them.

The boulder grated against the ground as it was slowly but surely shoved out of the way by Karkat, the sign of sagittarius faintly glowed on the rock as he moved the stone out of the way. The rest of the dungeon soon lay before them, and Karkat turned back to Dave with a smug smile on his face.

Karkat: NOW THE RACE CAN CONTINUE.
Karkat: WHAT ARE YOU GAWKING AT WE’VE SLOWED DOWN ENOUGH ALREADY.
Karkat: LETS GET MOVING AGAIN.

He left Dave in the dust once more, not sparing a passing glance back or at least time to ask more questions. Dave sighed and just resigned himself to following after him as best he could, though even when Karkat had no doubt done more to reach the end of the ruins, Dave couldn’t see a hint of exhaustion anywhere in his eyes. He continued to run at the same pace, and was still faster than Dave on his feet than Dave was flying in the air in this way. He hadn’t wanted it to eat at him, he’d told himself countless times in his head that this was just a silly way to entertain a loner on another world.

However, he couldn’t deny it as they reached the end and Dave was still behind him. As Karkat laughed heartily and with more joy than he’d ever seen on the trolls, grey weathered face Dave grew…annoyed.

Dave: well we can’t all be freaks of nature
Dave: even if i am a godtier i think you outrunning me while i fly is pretty much proof you’re just some muscle head weirdo
Dave: or maybe it’s because you’re an alien, we are two different species after all

Karkat: I BEAT YOU WITHOUT HAVING TO USE *ANY* EXTRA ABILITY
Karkat: I DID PUSH THAT ROCK OUT OF THE WAY FOR YOU SO MAYBE INSTEAD OF INSULTING ME YOU SHOULD THANK ME FOR EVEN HELPING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Karkat: AND I AM NOT A “MUSCLE HEAD” YOU’RE JUST…SCRAWNY.

Karkat’s smile grew larger at Dave’s exasperated look on his face. He’d been called plenty of things in his time, but getting called “scrawny” by some brawny alien dude was new. He opened his mouth to retaliate and say something, but just crossed his arms in the end.

Dave: sure
Dave: fine i guess
Dave: anyways, we’re at the end now so what are we even here for?
Dave: or do you normally race “scrawny” dudes in old decrepit ruins for fun?
Dave: it might be time to find a better hobby if that's the case

The end of the ruins was incredibly anticlimactic. They were in a large open area with a pedestal in the center that hoisted a large stone chest up. A ray of light showing it was mid day now cut through the gloom of the cavern, illuminating the treasure that was theirs for the taking. Karkat began to walk towards it.

Karkat: WE TAKE THE TREASURE UP AHEAD AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, OBVIOUSLY.
Karkat: THE TRAPS WERE MADE BY COHORTS WHO DON’T EXIST ANYMORE SO THERE’S NO ONE EVER GUARDING THE REAL TREASURE AT THE END.
Dave: what about those imps from yesterday…?

Karkat scoffed as he pushed the top of the chest open.

Karkat: YOU MEAN THE IMPS *YOU* BROUGHT WITH YOU?
Karkat: ASIDE FROM THE TRAPS THERE’S NEVER BEEN ANY REAL THREATS ON THIS PLANET.
Karkat: THOSE IMPS ONLY SHOWED UP ONCE YOU CRASHED. NO DOUBT IT’S BECAUSE OF WHATEVER GARBAGE YOU FAILURES PROTOTYPED AGES AGO.

Dave: oh…
Dave: now that you say that Rose did mention something like this would happen.
Dave: she said once we entered your session that ours would merge together or some shit
Dave: i guess we technically did bring the imps with us after all

Karkat looked down into the treasure chest and came up empty, there wasn’t anything inside. Dave sidled up to him and peeked into the chest as well, as he shook his head in disappointment.

Dave: what was the point in them making all of those traps if they weren’t even guarding anything to begin with?
Dave: i’m beginning to think this worlds lame

Karkat: IT WAS MADE FOR A VERY LAME INDIVIDUAL SO YOU’RE NOT WRONG THERE…

The both of them were silent as a low rumbling resounded throughout the empty treasure room. Tremors shook the floor tiles beneath their feet loose in various ways, and dust from the ceiling above drizzled down as the sound grew louder with each passing moment. Karkat looked at the chest with narrowed eyes, and then suddenly felt a hand around his waist pull him backward from the spot he’d been standing in, as the ground split open in an explosion of debris and rock.

Dave dragged him out of the way before the monster before them could catch him in its wide, large maw, full of snake fangs. A pointed, forked tongue flickered out of its mouth and the startlingly bright green scales that faced into a feathered capped head pointed toward the two of them. Karkat pushed Dave off of him as he eyed the snake monster that had burst from the ground.

“Knight of Blood…at last we meet. Are you here to begin your trial? For shame, raiding one of my tombs like a common thief. It’s entirely unknightly of you.”

Karkat: OH GREAT, JUST FUCKING PERFECT…
Karkat: THAT’S JUST MY LUCK ISN’T IT?

Dave: what the fuck is that thing, dude!

Karkat had a grave expression on his face as he stood up, and summoned his weapon in hand. He quickly sliced his palm with his own sharp tipped claws and it materialized by the hilt.

Karkat: THAT “THING” IS ABRAXAS.
Karkat: THE 6TH DENIZEN I NEED TO KILL.

Chapter Text

The first thing Dave noticed was that Abraxas’ body seemed to coil itself in various ways throughout the walls of the treasure room. When the room shook and trembled with the denizen's arrival, large chunks of sandstone cracked to reveal his large body slowly writhing and moving in the dark. There seemed to be no end to the snake monster's length, he could only look up and see Abraxas’ large head peering curiously down at them. He wasted no time in taking his sword out again. He vaguely remembered saying he’d just let Karkat do all of the work when they spoke over the computer, but now definitely didn’t seem like a good time to just sit on his ass.

Karkat did a double take at the sight of Dave’s sword; he glared at Dave while cautiously side eyeing the giant waiting denizen.

Karkat: NO!
Karkat: I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP WITH THIS YOU’LL ONLY GET IN THE WAY!
Karkat: JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE ALREADY AND LET ME FINISH THIS ON MY OWN.

Dave: i don’t think i could leave you alone here
Dave: for one that son of a bitch is staring pretty damn hard at me
Dave: i don’t think he cares either that this is supposed to just be “your” fight either
Dave: it doesn’t matter because i’m not just going to leave that’s some A-Grade loser shit
Dave: and for two that “race” wasn’t even a real competition and was total horseshit
Dave: i can’t go out like a punk just because you’re “faster” than me
Dave: that’s also loser shit

Karkat: YOU ARE A LOSER!
Karkat: YOU LOST TO *ME* JUST NOW IN THAT RACE.
Karkat: YOU COULDN’T EVEN KEEP UP WITH ME WHILE I WAS ON FOOT AND NOW YOU WANT TO MEDDLE IN SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT?
Karkat: IF YOU END UP TAKING THE LAST HIT FROM ME IT WON’T COUNT AND MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THE PAST 7 SWEEPS WILL HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING.
Karkat: SO JUST. GET. OUT OF HERE ALREADY!

He harshly shoved Dave back towards the entrance of the room, but Dave didn’t budge even then. He straightened up back on his feet and marched right up to Karkat, before scruffing the collar of his shirt. Dave rammed his head into Karkat’s hard and the troll recoiled in pain from the impact. He grabbed at his forehead with a very pointed glower at Dave, his whole form radiating anger.

Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?
Karkat: DO YOU WANT A DEATH WISH OR SOMETHING?

Dave: no i want to help you out even though you’re a massive pain in the ass
Dave: why don’t you quit being such a stubborn dickhead already
Dave: when someones trying to do you a favor the least you could do is just let them help you instead of digging your heels in thinking you have to do it all alone
Dave: and you know i’ve kind of had it up to here with your whole shitty attitude
Dave: i didn’t *choose* to crash into your session but i’m here now
Dave: stop bitching about how inconvenient it all is thats all you ever do is just complain and whine and moan all damn day
Dave: and then you have the nerve to look down on *me* for not being able to do some simple mundane shit
Dave: like beat you in a race
Dave: maybe a “real” knight would learn a little humility or whatever
Dave: maybe i’m the better knight because i’m not such an annoying, angry piece of shit
Dave: you ever think of that, huh

Karkat: HUMILITY?
Karkat: AM I REALLY ABOUT TO BE LECTURED BY SOME DOUCHE IN SUNGLASSES ON MY MANNERS?
Karkat: I’M SORRY IF I’M NOT *NICE* ENOUGH FOR YOUR PANSY ASS HUMAN FEELINGS
Karkat: WHERE I’M FROM PEOPLE AREN’T STUPID ENOUGH TO GET IN THE WAY OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS
Karkat: AND THEY AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO GROVEL AND APOLOGIZE WHEN THEY KNOWINGLY FUCK EVERYTHING UP FOR SOMEONE
Karkat: ALL I EVER GET FROM YOU HUMANS IS YOUR OWN STUPID, TINY PROBLEMS ON TOP OF MY OWN
Karkat: YOU COME TO MY SESSION AFTER YOU FUCK YOURSELVES OVER IN YOUR OWN ONE AND YOU EXPECT ME TO TRUST YOU ENOUGH TO NOT DO THE SAME TO MINE?
Karkat: OH BUT I’M THE SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT HERE IN THIS SCENARIO, AND NOT YOU FREELOADERS FROM OUTER SPACE?

“Uh…are we going to get to the trial now or-”

Karkat: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Karkat: I’LL GET TO YOU IN A SECOND AFTER I PUT THIS DUMB TOOL IN HIS PLACE

Dave: holy shit will you knock it off with your fucking martyr complex already
Dave: just because all your friends up and ditched your ass in this lame session doesn’t mean its my fault
Dave: if you’re *sooo* much better than me dealing with a few imps shouldn’t even be that big of a deal
Dave: you sure did a number on them back when we first landed anyways
Dave: thanks for wrecking our ship even more by the way
Dave: Jade totally appreciated having a ginormous hunk of unwieldy metal slice through even more of the ships console

Karkat: THAT HUNK OF GOLD TRASH FELL OUT OF THE SKY AND WAS WRECKED WHEN I FOUND IT
Karkat: DON’T EVEN PRETEND TO ME LIKE YOU HAD ANY HOPE OF SALVAGING THAT SCRAPYARD YOU CALL A SPACE SHIP
Karkat: AS IT CURRENTLY ROTS IN THE SUN AND RUSTS AWAY WITH ALL OF IT’S JANKY WEIRD PIECES THAT HAVE BEEN GLUED ONTO IT
Karkat: AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME OR MY PAST YOU DON’T KNOW WHY I’M IN THIS SESSION BY MYSELF
Karkat: SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT MY FRIENDS YOU INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE
Karkat: I’M NOT A MARTYR BY ANY MEANS BUT I’VE BEEN WORKING MY ASS OFF FOR YEARS NOW TRYING TO FIX OTHER PEOPLES HUGE MISTAKES
Karkat: HOW CAN I NOT COUNT ANY YOURS AS A PART OF THE EVER GROWING PILE

Dave: no one even asked you to fix any of our problems!
Dave: it’s only been one day since we arrived and you haven’t even given any of us a chance to make things better or at least work with us-

Karkat: I DON’T WANT TO WORK WITH YOU
Karkat: THAT’S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT
Karkat: IN FACT I’D BE MUCH HAPPIER AND HAVE A CALMER MIND IF YOU’D ALL JUST GO OFF INTO THE DESERT AND DIE ON YOUR OWN

Dave: what about us helping you with these Cohorts and their quests then
Dave: seems to me if you’ve been stuck for 7 years trying to do simple fetch quests maybe you’re just not as competent at this entire thing as you think you are!
Dave: maybe killing a bunch of dumb fucking snakes in caves has bloated your ego a bit
Dave: Killing a Denizen isn’t even that impressive anyone could do that without Godtier powers so what makes you so special
Dave: you think because you have some sob story of a past that means you’ve got it really hard in this session?
Dave: it seems to me like you just love causing yourself problems because you’re the most difficult, pretentious asshole i’ve ever had the displeasure of being stranded with
Dave: and i’ve met a lot of pretentious assholes
Dave: i was raised by probably the biggest meanest philosophy spouting bastard in the world so trust me i know a thing or two about terrible people
Dave: no wonder all your friends just fucking left you here
Dave: i’ve only known you a day and i can’t stand being around you at-

Karkat lunged forward and swung his Sickle in a downward arch near Dave, who narrowly dodged it. The sickle left a noticeable cut in the ground where Dave had been standing just a few seconds ago. He raised his own sword as the two blades glanced against one another. Karkat’s fiery gaze was locked squarely onto Dave as he attacked him with a hell of a lot more force than he was anticipating. Karkat was slower than he was when it came to fighting, his swings were obvious, but the Sickle was too large to fully ignore. The faint blue “paint” that he’d coated onto his hands earlier glowed faintly in the dim light of the treasure room. Dave skidded back on his feet as he used his sword to brace against Karkat’s onslaught. As they were locked in a tense stand off, Dave could see a large green scaly appendage hurtling towards both of them. He shoved hand into Karkat’s chest and split the two of them apart as Abraxas’ tail just missed them. The Denizen’s eyes began to glow a blinding white before a sharp ray shot from its pupils and traced an ashen path on the ground straight for them.

Karkat didn’t care at all. When the laser made its way to him he merely lunged forward to Dave with his weapon ready to cleave his head in. This time Dave was really sent flying back into the wall of the treasure room, his head knocking against the rough stone. His shades fell from his face, and he got a clearer look at the awful scene before him. Karkat stalked towards him with his sickle, his fist tightly clenched in rage around the hilt while Abraxas’ eyes geared up for another round of shining light their way.

Once Karkat reached him, he grabbed a fistful of Dave’s shirt and lifted him from his sitting stupor, before he roughly pinned him against the wall. He was so close now that the only thing he could focus on was the barely contained fury that seemed to bleed through every single one of Karkat's movements.

Karkat: I CANNOT BELIEVE I WASTED SO MUCH TIME WITH ANY OF YOU
Karkat: VRISKA WAS RIGHT I SHOULD’VE JUST KILLED ALL OF YOU WHEN YOU GOT HERE
Karkat: I’LL START WITH YOU
Karkat: I’LL KILL ABRAXAS AFTERWARDS AND THEN LEAVE THIS PLACE AND YOUR FOOLISH FRIENDS TO DIE ON THIS PLANET
Karkat: WE’LL SEE HOW WELL ANY OF YOU FARE WITHOUT ME-

Karkat grunted in pain and his eyes grew wide. A sword skewered him from the back all the way through his midsection, and he let go of Dave’s shirt in shock and horror as he looked down at the sword sticking out of him. Dave was just as disturbed until he saw another Dave standing behind Karkat. Once he realized what was happening he went over to pick up his shades from the floor and placed them back on his face.

Dave: knight of time, remember?
Dave: that was actually a bit too close for comfort

Karkat crumpled to the ground in a bloody pool that was slowly growing as the sword was pulled from his back. Dave noticed Abraxas had stopped attacking entirely. Future Dave looked at his past self.

Future!Dave: sorry i was a bit late i was…doing something and almost forgot about this whole situation
Future!Dave: but i’m here now
Future!Dave: you have to get out of here soon before abraxas decides to continue the fight anyways
Future!Dave: right now the Denizen hasn’t realized that Karkat wasn’t killed by an attack from him so he’s debating on whether or not to continue this trial in the first place

Karkat: YOU…FUCKING…IDIOT….
Karkat: WE’RE GOING TO…HAVE TO DO ALL OF THIS…ALL OVER AGAIN

Dave: how the fuck are you even still breathing?
Dave: dude i thought we were just gonna totally kill him and get it over with or leave him here to die or some shit
Dave: don’t tell me i have to deal with this jackass later on?

Future!Dave: eh you’ll get used to him
Future!Dave: he’s not all that bad

Dave: he tried to kill me

Future!Dave: you’ll get over it don’t worry
Future!Dave: i’ve got other stuff to do so i’m getting out of here now
Future!Dave: you’ve got about 5 seconds to get out of here, he’ll be waiting for you by the exit of the ruins

Dave: who will…?

His future self just nodded in Karkat’s direction like that made any sense. He supposed he’d just get all of his answers eventually, and his future self had never stirred him wrong before. Dave decided to just comply, really it was more so because he was sick of seeing Karkat’s slumped over body slowly bleeding out, and he wanted this adventure of theirs to come to an end. He zapped away from the scene to the beginning of the ruins, the sun was high in the sky by now and it was hot.

Dave looked around to see if Karkat was anywhere or if he’d stupidly listened to someone tell him to leave a dead man behind. However, mere seconds later he noticed a pool of crimson red leak out from the ruins. He walked into the entrance area right where Karkat had left his mark earlier on the wall. The blood dripped downward and had seemingly been remade fresh as there, resting peacefully against the wall without a scratch on him, was a sleeping Karkat. The blood mark had a long, gory trail that led to his form on the ground.

Dave: ah…he’s a knight of blood i remember now

He sighed, and went over to the troll. He put an arm under him and decided to just carry him back to the cave. As far as Dave was concerned, they’d done enough exploring for one day. He flew across the sandy dunes and looked down at Karkat’s still face. It was easy to imagine the faint lines and creases that would furrow his brow and eyes into rage, but Dave knew nobody would think he’d really be an angry person at all if they saw him when he wasn’t constantly beside himself with anger. He remembered what his future self said to him about how he’d “get used to it” and he wasn’t sure he’d want to ever get used to someone like Karkat Vantas, handsome face or not.

Dave:....
Dave: i really am the biggest fucking tool in the world huh

He’d tell the others about the location of Abraxas so they could potentially kill the Denizen and move on to the next one.

Chapter Text

The void was the most peace that Karkat ever experienced, it was just a shame he could never get there without dying in the process. An empty, vast darkness enveloped him as he floated aimlessly throughout the space. Trying to move in the void was like trying to swim under thick, congealed water. A low, synchronous rumble filled his ears like an incoming tide that was miles above him. Opening his eyes revealed nothing, but he swore that the color of the void was tinged red. He wasn’t sure if that wasn’t because he was staring too hard into the pure nothingness around him, or if he was truly floating in an ocean of blood.

Karkat slowly reached a hand to his midsection, and grimaced from the stark pain that hit him instantly. He remembered everything, then. The stupid race, how he had almost killed that foolish human for not watching his mouth, when he told the Denizen to shut up…And he remembered the pain from being stabbed in the back by that cowardly, worthless, son of a-

Kanaya: You Know This Isn’t How I Imagined Your First Ever Hate Date Going.
Kanaya: But I Guess I Shouldn’t Be Surprised To Find You’re The Type To ‘Fall Fast’.

Karkat blinked, a sordid look of confusion on his face as Kanaya’s voice spoke to him in a sardonic tone. He couldn’t recall if anyone had been screaming in his mind while he was trying to kill Dave, but now in retrospect he was certain they had been. He had just blocked the noise out.

Karkat: UGH…MY HEAD…STOP TALKING PLEASE…

Kanaya: Normally I Would Agree To Something Like That And Leave You Be In Peace.
Kanaya: But I Can’t In Good Conscience Do That.
Kanaya: For One, My Blood Is The Only One That’s Still On You That Hasn’t Faded, Aside From Equius’.
Kanaya: And For Two, I Am Very Mad At You, Karkat.

Karkat tried to open his mouth to at least groan in pain, but his body wouldn’t work at all in the void. He’d just have to float until he was done here. Judging by the pain all over his body, he wasn’t healed completely just yet. He’d only leave the void once he was back in fighting condition. He usually enjoyed this part of the Oath because it meant he could have total silence for a bit, but he’d earned the anger of his friend instead.

Kanaya: You Could’ve Killed Him, You Know.
Kanaya: Not That It Would’ve Counted Because I Don’t Think Dying In That Instance Would’ve Been Heroic Or Just In His Case.
Kanaya: But How Would You Have Explained That To His Friends At All?

Karkat: WASN’T PLANNING ON EXPLAINING SHIT, ACTUALLY.
Karkat: I WAS PLANNING ON KILLING HIM, GUTTING ABRAXAS, AND THEN LEAVING THEM ALL THERE TO STARVE ON THIS WASTELAND OF A PLANET.
Karkat: THAT COWARD…STABBING ME IN THE BACK INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY FIGHTING ME IS A BITCH MOVE.
Karkat: WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM I SWEAR-

Kanaya: You’ll Do Nothing.
Kanaya: Listen To Me When I Say This, You Have Fucked This Up Enough For All Of Us.
Kanaya: You Want To Whine About The Humans Ruining Everything When You Can’t Even Stick To A Deal We Have Already Arranged.
Kanaya: What Did We Discuss During The Meeting?
Kanaya: Does What We Say To You Mean Nothing At All?

Karkat: OF COURSE IT-

Kanaya: Then Start Acting Like It.
Kanaya: I Don’t Care If They’re Annoying To You Or If They’re Unbearable Or Even That They’re Throwing A Wrench In Our Plans.
Kanaya: Killing Them Was Off The Table And You Went Overboard.
Kanaya: We Need Them More Than You Realize.
Kanaya: You’re Going To Let Idiotic, Blind Hubris Get In The Way Of Real Progress If You Don’t Get Your Head Out Of Your Own Ass For Once.
Kanaya: When You Awake From This Void The First Thing You Will Do Is Reconsider Your Embarrassing Actions And Make Amends.

Karkat groaned internally, shame racked his nerves so hard that he felt the need to coil into a ball and disappear.

Karkat: I THINK I’D RATHER KILL MYSELF WITH MY OWN SICKLE THAN *EVER* APOLOGIZE.

Kanaya: Do You Hear Yourself Right Now?
Kanaya: I Don’t Know What’s Gotten Into You But You’ve Grown Into An Irritating, Self Absorbed Asshole.
Kanaya: I Suppose Now Would Be A Good Time To Mention That I Was Correct.
Kanaya: Their Seer Is Very Useful, She Has Knowledge About The Nature Of The Denizens That We Could Only Hope To Glean From Phaethon.
Kanaya: I Doubt She’d Have Been Happy To See You Murder Her Friend Over A Slight Annoyance.
Kanaya: I Don’t Care If You Don’t Want To Apologize.
Kanaya: You Will Fix This.

Kanaya’s voice receded into his mind, and Karkat closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to block out the wallowing self hatred. Just thinking about saying “sorry” to Dave made him wish for the void to keep him for all time. Kanaya’s livid, disappointed voice echoed in his mind and ate away at his conscience, until he finally drifted into oblivion.

Karkat awoke to an unfamiliar ceiling that was all metal plating, and burnished gold with dents from the harsh sandy environment. A hollow wind rocked the shell of the ship slightly, pushing it ever so gently into the dune it had disturbed. His unfocused eyes scanned the room, he noticed that while they were shielded mostly from the elements, sand still blew into the massive opening from the ship's destroyed half. Karkat couldn’t even see the cave they had camped in from this distance, as he awkwardly craned his neck to peer into the raging storm outside. He laid his head back with a tired thud, and tried to move his arm so he could push himself up.

The distinct sound of metal clanked and his arm was held fast in place by his side. He awkwardly turned his head and noticed the iron shackle that had been locked around his hand, it was attached to a short chain that was bolted in the flat, cold slate table he laid on. Confusion quickly turned into panic as he realized the predicament he was in, he pulled on the chain as hard as possible, but to no avail.

Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK…!?

Jade: quit moving around before you break something else

Karkat jolted at Jade’s harsh voice, he hadn’t noticed her in the room with him at all. She sat against the wall in a chair that had been desecrated by the elements due to the crash, her green eyes glared sharply at Karkat. Now that he was close enough to see them, she really did have some kind of animal ears on her head, and a tail that lay still on the chair next to her. One white, furry ear flicked in annoyance as she bore holes into his head with her stare.

Karkat: DO YOU WANNA TELL ME WHAT THE FUCKS UP WITH THIS, OR NO?
Karkat: WHY AM I CHAINED TO SOME KIND OF…IS THIS AN EXAMINATION TABLE?

The chilly, hard metal beneath him was long enough for a body to lay on, with clamps for legs and arms to hold a person down. Jade sighed, and rubbed the bridge of her nose, pushing her circular lenses up. She promptly fixed them with a steady hand.

Jade: don’t tell me you don’t remember what you did?
Jade: according to Dave you seemed pretty in your right mind when you were about to kill him.
Jade: and you’re confused on *why* you’re chained up?
Jade: it’s because you’re a fucking lunatic!

Karkat: WELL FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH I GUESS I’M SORRY?
Karkat: *UGH*
Karkat: LOOK, CAN YOU JUST UNLOCK THIS ALREADY SO I CAN EXPLAIN?

Jade: hell no!

Karkat: COME ON ALREADY!
Karkat: I CAN’T JUST BE STUCK HERE! NOT WHEN I FOUND THE DENIZEN’S LAIR AND CAN JUST GO AND KILL HIM!

Jade: maybe instead of trying to kill my friend you should’ve been worried about killing that denizen instead.
Jade: no…i’m not letting you out of my sight for a long while.
Jade: i’m rebuilding this ship, the one you helped wreck even more with your stupid weapon, and we’re all getting off this planet.
Jade: we’ll continue to play the game another way instead of whatever stupid bullshit you’ve been trying to do.

Karkat’s eyes widened and he strained his arm against the chain in an effort to break out again.

Karkat: YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DEALING WITH HERE.
Karkat: MY SESSION ISN’T LIKE YOURS, YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE THE RULES ALREADY SET IN PLACE TO DO YOUR OWN THING.
Karkat: AND WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER THINK OF FOLLOWING YOU?
Karkat: LAST I CHECKED YOU CRASH LANDED IN *MY* SESSION BECAUSE YOU FUCKED UP IN YOURS.

Jade: we didn’t ‘fuck up’ it was a series of out of control events that-!
Jade: UGH
Jade: i don’t even know why i’m wasting my time trying to explain this!
Jade: you don’t even care do you?
Jade: you’re so far up your own ass that the only thing you care about is what effects you personally!
Jade: we didn’t choose for any of this to happen the way it did, but it happened, and now instead of being a huge dick about it, the least you could do is help us out!
Jade: or better yet, let us help YOU!

As Jade ranted, the atmosphere in the ship's hull shifted as various things began to levitate. An ominous green aura emanated from her form that crackled with energy, and she huffed in deep breaths until she calmed down enough to not upturn every loose object left in this room. Jade’s shoulders sagged as she sat down again in the chair, her form visibly deflated as she looked down at the floor. Karkat was still on edge from her outburst, and warily looked around the room for any signs of his own weapon anywhere.

Jade: i think we got off on the wrong foot here.

Karkat: WHAT?

Jade: it’s a human saying. it means I think we just don’t understand one another that well.
Jade: we’re both in pretty shit situations, all things considered.
Jade: there’s no point in just yelling at one another about how terrible everything is all of the time.
Jade: so, i propose this: let’s get to know one another.

Karkat looked away awkwardly. He didn’t exactly feel like becoming buddy-buddy with an alien who’d shackled him to her examination table in her old destroyed ship, but then the angry timbre of Kanaya’s voice replayed in his mind. He frowned, but in the end realized he was going to have to agree with this unbearable fake bonding session to make it up to her.

Karkat: FINE.
Karkat: I’LL TALK WITH YOU IF THAT’LL MAKE THINGS EVEN SLIGHTLY MORE BEARABLE BETWEEN US.
Karkat: AND BESIDES I…ALREADY PROMISED A FRIEND I’D TRY TO MAKE AMMENDS.

Jade: i see.
Jade: would this friend be the “others” you mentioned earlier who are supposedly preoccupied doing some other mysterious work you won’t tell us about?

Karkat: SURE LET’S GO WITH THAT.
Karkat: WAIT…WHERE ARE MY JARS?

He noticed Oathbreaker was leaning against the far wall by Jade, but his bag that held the jars of blood was absent. A new wave of anxiety filled the pit of his stomach as he couldn’t see them anywhere in the room.

Jade: we put them away in the cave.
Jade: Dave suggested it because he said you…used them in some way in the denizen’s lair, so i just assumed they were also dangerous.
Jade: but i’m guessing those aren’t just jars of paint or weird juice, are they?

Jade raised a hand and to his dawning horror he realized it was stained a familiar stark jade color. Peculiarly, she sniffed the blood and came to the realization all on her own.

Jade: we knew you used blood to fight we just didn’t know the blood was so…colorful?
Jade: don’t worry, i can see on your face that you’re scared i used all of it or something.
Jade: you can rest assured that i only took enough to smell.
Jade: but its interesting how scared you were by the thought that i *did* use all of it.

Karkat: I SAID I’D TALK WITH YOU, NOT SHARE MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE STORY.
Karkat: BUT…I DON’T THINK THERE’S ANY GETTING AROUND THIS ANYMORE.
Karkat: THOSE JARS ARE FILLED WITH THE BLOOD OF MY FRIENDS AND I NEED IT TO…TALK WITH THEM.
Karkat: I USE MY ASPECT TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM. IF I LOSE THOSE JARS THEN THAT’S IT. I’LL NEVER SPEAK WITH THEM AGAIN.
Karkat: THE BLOOD ON YOUR HAND RIGHT NOW IS OF THE TROLL WHO TOLD ME TO MAKE AMMENDS WITH ALL OF YOU.
Karkat: AND SHE WAS THE ONE WHO WANTED ME TO TRY AND…BEFRIEND ALL OF YOU, SO THAT YOU’D HELP.
Karkat: I FIND ALL OF YOU ENDLESSLY ANNOYING AND NOTHING BUT A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS TO DEAL WITH, BUT IF IT’S FOR HER THAN…I GUESS I COULD AT LEAST *TRY* TO BEFRIEND YOU.
Karkat: WHATEVER DIPSHIT SAID “TOLERANCE IS A VIRTUE” CAN EAT MY BULGE…

Jade: you care a lot about your friends, don’t you?

Jade then smiled at him, as if they’d come to a silent agreement on something. She saw him in a whole new light other than an annoying jerk who yells and complains all the time, and Karkat took that to mean he was making progress in this whole “friendship” thing. One begrudging step at a time.

Jade: gotta say, i wouldn’t have taken you for someone who values friendship at all.
Jade: but i think this is something we can both agree on!

Karkat: I WANT EVERYONE TO GET OUT OF THIS AS UNSCATHED AS POSSIBLE.
Karkat: I’D DO ANYTHING TO GET TO THE END OF THIS GAME AND WIN IT IF IT MEANT EVERYONE CAN STAND BESIDE ME ONE DAY.
Karkat: YOU SAID EARLIER THAT YOUR FRIENDS SESSION…WAS RUINED BY A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE HAPPENINGS.
Karkat: I CAN’T SAY THE SAME FOR MINE.
Karkat: IF ANYTHING WE WALKED RIGHT TO OUR DEATHS.
Karkat: BUT I’M GOING TO MAKE IT RIGHT NO MATTER WHAT.
Karkat: BUT I DON’T WANT NEWCOMERS BARGING IN AND CHANGING THINGS, TRYING TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT ON THEIR TERMS, NOT WHEN THIS IS SO IMPORTANT.
Karkat: THE NATURE OF THIS SESSION IS COMPLETELY CONTROLLED BY THE OATH I TOOK THAT STARTED ALL OF THIS.
Karkat: IF I GO AGAINST IT AT ALL, OR BREAK IT AT ANYTIME…THEN THIS WILL HAVE ALL BEEN A HUGE WASTE OF TIME.

Jade: care to elaborate on what this whole oath of yours is anyways?

Karkat: SEVEN SWEEPS AGO I MADE A DEAL WITH THE DENIZEN PHAETHON.
Karkat: AFTER MY FRIENDS FOOLISHLY DECIDED TO TRY AND KILL HIM IN A VAIN ATTEMPT TO BECOME STRONGER FAR BEFORE WE WERE READY, HE TOOK “PITY” ON ME AND OFFERED ME A CHOICE.
Karkat: I COULD EITHER INHERIT THE LEVELS MY FRIENDS HAD ALREADY GARNERED AND THEN TRY TO COMPLETE THE GAME ON MY OWN OR…

Karkat shuddered as the day Phaethon offered the oath to him haunted his memory. He could still feel the warm spray of his friend's blood hit his cheek as the crystalline rocks of the cave speared them through.

Karkat: WE COULD COMPLETE THE GAME AS “ONE” BODY.
Karkat: THE SESSION STILL SEES ALL OF US AS 12 SEPARATE PLAYERS DESPITE THIS DETAIL, BECAUSE THE OATH IS BEING GIVEN BY A DENIZEN.
Karkat: NORMALLY A SESSION WOULD BECOME DOOMED AND END PREMATURELY, BUT PHAETHON’S OATH WON’T ALLOW FOR IT.
Karkat: THE MOMENT I BREAK THE OATH OR I FAIL IN SOME WAY OUTSIDE OF HUNTING DENIZENS, I LOSE.
Karkat: THE SESSION WILL BECOME DOOMED BECAUSE I HAVEN’T UPHELD MY END OF THE BARGAIN.
Karkat: AND THE RULES OF THIS STUPID OATH ARE SO TEDIOUS AND RELIANT ON ME DOING EVERYTHING PHAETHON SAYS TO THE LETTER.
Karkat: DO YOU SEE NOW WHY I CAN’T HAVE EXTRA PEOPLE HERE WITH ME?
Karkat: EVEN ASKING FOR HELP FROM YOU IS A LIABILITY.
Karkat: WHAT IF YOU TRY TO KILL A DENIZEN WITH ME BUT IT DOESN’T COUNT BECAUSE SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME GOT THE FINAL BLOW?
Karkat: WHAT IF THE DENIZEN DIES DUE TO SOME OTHER CIRCUMSTANCE THAT IS CAUSED BY YOU BEING HERE?
Karkat: WHAT IF I DIE OUTSIDE OF HUNTING DENIZENS BECAUSE OF SOME OTHER RANDOM ENEMY YOU BROUGHT WITH YOU?
Karkat: THERE’S TOO MUCH AT STAKE, AND TOO MANY VARIABLES TO ACCOUNT FOR THAT COULD TOTALLY RUIN THIS FOR ME.
Karkat: BUT…KANAYA WANTS ME TO TRUST ALL OF YOU ANYWAYS.
Karkat: EVEN KNOWING ALL OF THOSE RISKS SHE AND THE REST OF THEM ARE HOPING THAT YOU CAN HELP MORE THAN HINDER US.
Karkat: I MAY NOT TRUST ANY OF YOU AT ALL…BUT I TRUST HER JUDGEMENT MORE THAN ANYTHING.
Karkat: I JUST HAD TO DIE FIRST IN ORDER TO CALM DOWN ENOUGH AND SEE REASON.
Karkat: I’M…SORRY FOR TRYING TO KILL YOUR FRIEND SIMPLY BECAUSE HE ANNOYED ME.

Jade listened to all of this with a contemplative look on her face, Karkat couldn’t get a read on her at all. Finally, she broke her silence with an almost relieved laugh.

Jade: that’s one hell of a story, you know?
Jade: but i believe you.
Jade: for a while i thought maybe you *had* killed all of your friends like some crazed murderer and were just toting their blood around for fun.
Jade: i’m sorry for your loss, but i can at least be grateful that you’re not totally off the rails.
Jade: and you can save that apology for the actual person you tried to kill.
Jade: Dave was the one who ended bringing you back after your mishap in the denizen’s lair.
Jade: you can say your apology in person when we go back to the cave.

Karkat: DOES THIS MEAN YOU’LL FINALLY LET ME OUT OF THIS DUMB SHACKLE?

Jade: sure, why not?

She raised a hand slowly that was encased by that same, mysterious green aura and the shackle came undone by her power. Karkat rubbed his sore wrist, and pushed himself up so he could finally sit on the bed. He touched his stomach where the phantom pain of a sword skewering through him pulsed softly before it disappeared.

Jade: let’s head back to the cave, i think this storm is finally letting up.

Karkat agreed, though there was something off about this whole situation. The raging sand storm was something new, he’d never experienced one before on this planet at all. Tavros’ land was supposed to be one of the most peaceful given his nature and everything. And this storm was anything but peaceful, the wind ripped and tore at his skin in painful nettles. It felt as if tiny granules were slicing against his skin, just not enough to draw blood. Jade placed a hand on Karkat’s shoulder, and prepared to just teleport them back to their previous destination.

A looming shadow hovered over them, and made it even harder to see within the storm. Then, a break in the clouds above let in enough light for Karkat to squint and see the strange shape in the sky. The grip he had Oathkeeper tightened as he took in the horrifying sight before him.

Karkat: OH YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME…

Jade: is that…
Jade: A Derse Warship?

The giant, purple ship with it’s black insignia and flags flew in the air at a slow, meandering pace due to it’s massive size more than anything. The churning of mechanical engines and turbines that helped push it through the air rumbled just above the roar of the storm. This wasn’t supposed to happen at all. It was entirely impossible for a ship to be here, they were supposed to meet on the battlefield instead of on the respective planets of each player. Karkat rifled through any internal explanation he could conjure up for how something like this could be possible, he even tried consulting the others in his mind but their voices were so tiny without any of the blood. And the storm that roared around him wasn’t helping his concentration.

Karkat: I THINK YOU’VE INVITED MORE THAN JUST IMPS TO THE SESSION.

Chapter Text

Kanaya seethed silently in her own room, she had nothing to occupy her time with, nothing that would calm her down enough to clear her mind. She’d spent the better part of an hour trying to design a new piece, and had even gotten some bolts of fabric out to pin it to a mannequin, but gave up on it halfway as she couldn’t get the events from Abraxas’ ruins out of her head. She’d shooed Terezi and Vriska off awhile ago, they knew whenever she was this upset that it was best to just give her some space. She wasn’t sure if space was ever going to be enough.

Kanaya didn’t know when it happened, but Karkat had seriously grown to be an incredibly egotistical person, far more than she’d ever remembered him being when they were kids. She had teased him earlier about this hatred he had for a human, but she didn’t think it’d blow over so terribly that he’d attempt to kill the poor guy the second day in. She could only imagine the trouble he’d caused with the humans because of this, she had planned on trying to do things with diplomacy and trust. That was sure to be ruined thanks to Karkat’s thoughtless actions.

She opened her laptop, and stared at the unfinished passage still left to be written, before closing it for the day. She didn’t feel like rehashing the events of today in word form, at least not right now when her emotions would so clearly cloud over the actual important things that had happened. Kanaya looked out the window of her Derse bedroom, in the distance she could see the very bright lights of the streets down below from the large warship that was prepared to take off. The whole street, normally filled with regular citizens going about their day, was taken up entirely by soldiers in armor marching to different locations.

The chess people had started gearing up to leave Derse on a few warships for hours now. Kanaya planned on telling Karkat, as did the others…he had been so preoccupied with murdering a human for no reason that he hadn’t heard them. She recently finished reprimanding him in the void, he’d still have a few hours before he actually awoke and caught up with the news. A gentle knock sounded at her door, and Kanaya sighed.

Kanaya: Whoever It Is, Could You Please Leave Me Be For The Evening?
Kanaya: I’m Not In The Mood To Host Any Guests At All…

Rose: Oh, I’m sorry, is this a bad time? I understand attempted murder’s kind of a touchy subject around these parts.

Kanaya perked up immediately at Rose’s voice from the other side of the door, and eagerly went to open it. The night when the humans had first arrived, the two of them had the chance to meet and talk with one another. Rose was quite unlike anyone Kanaya had ever met, she was completely different from her awake counterpart who was overly gloomy and cryptic all of the time. Rose stood in the doorway with a relaxed posture, and crossed arms as she leaned against the frame.

Kanaya: Oh!
Kanaya: Rose What A Pleasant Surprise.
Kanaya: I Apologize If I Came Off Too Rude, I’m Just Not Feeling Like Myself Tonight…

Rose: I can imagine. You seemed quite upset about your friend trying to uh…how did you describe it again?
Rose: “Calignously Align” with mine? I’m still unfamiliar with the whole alien romance terms, but I think I’m finally starting to somewhat understand their meaning.
Rose: If only vaguely.

Kanaya: I *Thought* He Was Just Having Some Silly Hate Crush.
Kanaya: I Was Wrong.
Kanaya: And It Could’ve Cost Karkat His Life!
Kanaya: I Don’t Understand What Has Gotten Into Him At All…

Rose walked into the room and sat down on a chair next to Kanaya’s mannequins, her hand deftly touched some of the silken bolts of fabric. Kanaya was reminded of a few ideas she had in mind for clothes that Rose would look quite nice in, but she quickly stamped down those thoughts and brought her attention back to the matter at hand.

Rose: Well, if you ask me I think your friend is just incredibly stunted.
Rose: Emotionally speaking.
Rose: It’s only natural, he’s been alone for many years with nobody to really talk to.

Kanaya: But…What About Me?
Kanaya: Or All Of Us?
Kanaya: It’s Not Like We’re Quiet In His Mind, He Hears Us Speak Every Day.

Rose: Regardless, I would think hearing the voices of your dead friends doesn’t exactly do wonders for a person's social life.
Rose: And we are totally alien to one another, both figuratively and literally…
Rose: There’s bound to be some bumps in the road that lead to unintended places.
Rose: It’s got me wondering what it would be like to have a “Hate Crush”, I actually can’t fathom the concept of it, even though you’ve already explained in detail.
Rose: Luckily for your friend, I think Dave doesn’t mind all that much.

Kanaya: Really?
Kanaya: Humans Just Seem So Much More, Excuse The Word, Docile?
Kanaya: So How Could Any Of You Be Okay With Almost Dying?

Rose: I wouldn’t say we’re all okay with it, our group of humans are a bit more eccentric, that’s all.
Rose: Dave’s used to almost dying at this point.
Rose: And besides, I’ve known him since we were children. I can tell he isn’t quite as bothered by attempted murder as you think he is.
Rose: He’s a very odd guy, in that respect.
Rose: If anything, Jade’s the one he’d have to smooth things over with. She’s a good leader of course, but she’s got quite the temperament.
Rose: I’ve always admired her protectiveness, though. I sometimes wish I could be that fearsome when it comes to my friends.

Kanaya: I Think You Sell Yourself Very Short.
Kanaya: Given Your Unique Circumstances, You’re A Very Valuable Ally And Friend To Have!
Kanaya: Especially To Me, Your Information About The Denizens Have Been Incredibly…

Rose: Enlightening?

Kanaya laughed softly at Rose’s joke, she found she’d been doing that a lot more since they’d met. It had been quite a long time since Kanaya had left her Derse bedroom, she often stayed in her apartment because it was easier to just pretend to work on other things than try and socialize. Even when she was in her own body she was always a solitary creature, and spent most of her youth alone. Rose made her want to leave for the first time in a long while and do other things for once. She wasn’t sure what they’d do, since Rose was more than happy to just visit Kanaya instead.

She peered out at the warship that sat outside of her window, and whatever dawning hope she felt withered away. The warships spelled out a bad omen. Nothing had ever changed in their session until now, and it got Kanaya wondering if perhaps she was right to be worried about them going too slow.

Kanaya: Speaking Of The Denizens…
Kanaya: Earlier You Said That There Was A Predetermined Path That Karkat Was Going To Take.
Kanaya: An Order To Which He Was Going To Slay Them…
Kanaya: Does This Order Have Anything To Do With The “Higher Being” You Mentioned Is Overlooking The Whole Session?

Rose walked over to the window and stood beside Kanaya, her delicate features were framed by the soft glow of Derse’s moonlight. Kanaya’s eyes traced the soft curves of her face as she waited for a reply.

Rose: It might, I’m not exactly sure.
Rose: I could only see that there was someone who’s above all of this that’s decided on specific circumstances in this session.
Rose: I don’t know who they are, and I fear they’re the reason I am not myself when I am awake…
Rose: Here on Derse’s moon…it is the only place I have where I’m not inundated with the wills of elder gods and their broodfester tongues.
Rose: I can think for myself for once, see the things I want to see, instead of what they demand me to see.

Kanaya: It’s Just A Shame That Reading Some Book Is What Lead You Here.
Kanaya: I Can’t Blame You For Being Curious About Its Contents At All.

Rose paused and looked at Kanaya from the corner of her eye with wry amusement, a small smile on her lips. At first, Kanaya thought she’d unintentionally made some kind of joke only a human would understand, then her pupils turned into tiny discs as she realized her mistake.

Rose: I don’t think I ever mentioned reading a book.
Rose: In fact, the only people I ever talked about that cursed novel with were my friends, and even then I didn’t share all the details of it.
Rose: I did, however, write all those details in my walkthrough…

Kanaya frowned deeply as the guilt tormented her, she turned to Rose with an earnest, apologetic look.

Kanaya: I Have Something To Confess.
Kanaya: I…Have Read Your Walkthrough Many Times.
Kanaya: I Even Knew From The Moment I Saw You That You Were The One Who Wrote It Just From Your Appearance And The Way You Described The Last Events You Took Before Leaving Your Session.
Kanaya: I Just Didn’t Want To Tell You Because Well…
Kanaya: This Is Going To Sound Incredibly Silly On My Part, But I Thought It Would Be Better If We Became Acquaintances Without The Added Weight Of Your Adventures, And My Admiration For You.
Kanaya: Mostly Because I Wanted You To Be As Impressed By Me As I Am By You.
Kanaya: I’ve Been Stuck Inside Someone Else’s Mind For Years So I Haven’t Done Anything Nearly As Impressive As You Have.
Kanaya: I Haven’t Even Really…Gotten A Chance To Live A Life.
Kanaya: It Can Be Pretty Hard Knowing All My Hopes Of One Day Getting Off This Moon Lies With Someone Else.
Kanaya: I’ve Tried To Make This Awful Derse Apartment Feel More Like My Old Hive But It’s Useless.
Kanaya: I Guess I Just Miss Home Or Even Being Alive In My Own Body.
Kanaya: Not Existing Within A Void For Most Of The Day, Or Rattling Around In Someone Else’s Head As Nothing But A Disembodied Voice…
Kanaya: Reading Your Walkthrough Gave Me Some Hope That Perhaps We Could Really Make It Through All Of This Even If Our Chances Were As Low As Possible.

Kanaya’s sentence trailed off as she looked at her feet, her gaze lost and distant. She hadn’t realized it until now, but the overwhelming sense of loneliness and isolation had been slowly broiling in the back of her mind like an overflowing pot. Her shoulders dragged downward by the heavy, mournful emotions that welled within her. She looked up as Rose gingerly touched her shoulder with a kind hand.

Rose: Why would it be silly?
Rose: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all.
Rose: While our situations aren’t exactly the same…
Rose: I can’t help but to relate to something like that. I’ve been a prisoner in my own body for years now. Whenever I wake up, I’m not really me. I’m just some puppet for the elder gods.
Rose: That Rose who speaks in tongues and meditates in her room all day?
Rose: Who doesn’t like being disturbed and who doesn’t joke around…who just talks when it’s time to bark out some prophecy…?
Rose: That Rose isn’t me.
Rose: And she’ll never *be* me. She’s them made manifest through my body.
Rose: I can’t do anything when they take control, it’s like looking through my own eyes while someone else lives my life.
Rose: The only times I’ve ever had any sense of consciousness is like now…when I’m asleep, and I can finally be myself for once.
Rose: I can talk and make jokes and laugh, I haven’t laughed in years.
Rose: I could never speak with John or Jade and Dave about this, mostly because our Prospit and Derse were destroyed, as I’m sure you’ve read about.
Rose: John never woke up for some reason, Jade was far too busy trying to decipher things in the clouds for us, and Dave…well he never much liked this place, anyways.
Rose: Needless to say, I haven’t actually gotten a chance to speak with my friends either, even though they still hear my voice every day and I am “right there”...
Rose: I couldn’t be further apart from them.

Kanaya: Is It Strange To Say That I Feel Just…A Little Better After Hearing All Of That?
Kanaya: I Apologize If That Seems A Little Uncaring, It’s Just Our Feelings About This Whole Session Are So Similar.
Kanaya: I Haven’t Been Able To Talk To The Others About This At All.
Kanaya: I Fear They Like Their Life Here On Derse And Prospit, And Have Found Ways To Just Deal With This Terrifying Reality…

She thought about all of the things her friends got up to in order to pass the time, how their relationships seemed to have gotten better for some reason due to just sharing the same body for so long.

Kanaya: As Loathe As I Am To Admit It This Oath Is Probably The Best Thing To Happen To Some Of Them.
Kanaya: If It Weren’t A Denizen I Feel We Seriously Would’ve Ended Up Killing Each Other Eventually.
Kanaya: I Don’t Know Why I Just Know Deep Down That There’s A Lot Of Bullets We Dodged Due To The Choices We Made That Led Us Here.
Kanaya: I Can Only Hope We Continue To Make Choices That Fix All Of This…

Suddenly, she felt incredibly lightheaded, and braced a hand against the windowsill. Her vision began to cloud over and darken, Rose instantly went to steady her and set her down on the edge of her bed. She couldn’t hear what Rose was saying to her, as the voices of 11 others filled her mind and thoughts instantly.

Kanaya: He’s Waking Up It Seems…
Kanaya: We’ll Have To…Continue Talking Another Time, I’m Afraid.

She could see Rose respond to her, but what she said was lost on her completely. Kanaya laid down on her bed, closed her eyes and lost total corporal sense. The last thing Kanaya saw before she became just a voice was Rose’s face burdened with worry.

Jade and Karkat fought against the wind as they slowly made their way back to the cave. Karkat could see the three humans standing just in the entrance, their eyes to the sky as they too spotted the ginormous Derse ships in the air, their engines blowing hot wind through the arid desert . John shielded the sand from his glasses with his hand to no avail, he waved for them to enter as soon as possible. His mouth was wide as he shouted against the dusty storm.

John: there’s a derse ship here for some reason!

Karkat: NO SHIT?
Karkat: REALLY?

Jade nudged him roughly with her elbow, and he rolled his eyes but took on a more apologetic tone.

Karkat: SORRY.
Karkat: YES, WE SEE THE DERSE SHIP.
Karkat: THE REAL QUESTION IS WHY IS IT HERE?
Karkat: WERE THERE PEOPLE FOLLOWING YOU WHEN YOU DECIDED TO CRASH LAND AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME FOR SOME REASON?

He brushed the sand off of his clothes and moved past John into the cave. Dave stood against the wall, Karkat’s belongings were in his arms as the troll bumped into him. He wanted to put off this awkward conversation for as long as he possibly could, but it was literally staring him in the face with an expectant look, as if to say “Well, I’m waiting…?” He decided he’d rip the bandaid off on that apology he owed.

Karkat: I’M SORRY FOR…TRYING TO KILL YOU IN THE DENIZEN’S LAIR.
Karkat: I LOST MY HEAD FOR A MOMENT, AND SHOULDN’T HAVE RESORTED INSTANTLY TO MURDER.

Dave: it’s chill
Dave: i mean not really but it’s whatever
Dave: we don’t really have time to hash out your murderous tendencies anyways what with the fucking war ships above
Dave: they showed up about an hour ago so we’re as lost as you are on all of this
Dave: i didn’t even think they could reach player planets

Karkat: THEY’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO.
Karkat: BUT I GUESS ALL THAT’S CHANGING NOW BECAUSE YOU ALL DECIDED TO SHOW UP.
Karkat: THE RULES OF MY SESSION AND THE RULES OF YOURS ARE IN CONFLICT NOW FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON…
Karkat: BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE OATH’S BROKEN I STILL HAVE TO KILL DENIZENS.
Karkat: I HAVE A HORRIBLE FEELING ABOUT ALL OF THIS LIKE THEM SHOWING UP IS GROUNDS FOR EVEN MORE TROUBLE.

Karkat took one of the jars out, the notably jade green one, and dipped a finger into it. He dabbed a bit on his shirt, ignoring the grimace on Dave’s face, and let Kanaya’s voice fill his mind again. He’d have to have two conversations at the same time as he turned back to the humans in the cave that warily looked to the sky. He had already told Jade everything, but seeing as Kanaya couldn’t join in verbally ever, he didn’t feel like explaining his circumstances all over again.

Kanaya: I’m Sure You’ve Noticed The Warships By Now.

Karkat: HOW COULD I NOT THEY’RE PRACTICALLY DROWNING OUT THE SOUND OF THE FUCKING SAND STORM AROUND ME.
Karkat: ANY IDEA ON WHY THEY’RE EVEN HERE?

Kanaya: No, Unfortunately Not.
Kanaya: Though I Have Heard Vriska And Terezi Both Ventured To See For Themselves What The Matter Was About.
Kanaya: You Woke Up Before They Could Really Learn Anything.
Kanaya: Guess All That Murderous Rage Really Tuckered You Out, Huh?

Karkat: I ALREADY APOLOGIZED WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
Karkat: BESIDES HE DOESN’T SEEM THAT BOTHERED BY IT ANYWAYS.
Karkat: FROM WHAT I HEAR, HE’S A FREAK WHO’S A-OKAY WITH SMALL ATTEMPTS ON HIS LIFE SO MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S OVERSTEPPING BY MAKING IT SUCH A BIG FUCKING DEAL, KANAYA.
Karkat: I’M NOT GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM AGAIN, BUT I’LL BE DAMNED IF I GROVEL AT HIS STUPID HUMAN FEET IN APOLOGY FOR ALL ETERNITY.
Karkat: I’VE GOT ENOUGH ON MY PLATE ANYWAYS, THE WAR’S COME TO MY FRONT DOORSTEP FOR GODSAKE.

Dave: dude you’ve been scowling pretty hard in the corner there
Dave: and you’re staring at me so like
Dave: it’s got me thinking you’re gonna snap again and try to kill me

Karkat: SHUT UP
Karkat: I’M TRYING TO THINK HERE
Karkat: NOT EVERYTHING’S ABOUT YOU, DAVE
Karkat: MAYBE LEARN A LITTLE HUMILITY FOR ONCE

Jade: uh, let’s maybe give him some space?
Jade: no pun intended
Jade: he did just wake up after apparently dying, that’s grounds for anyone needing to think of what to do next
Jade: in the mean time, I want us humans to strategize on what *we’re* doing next
Jade: i wanted to repair the ship and get the hell out of here but i don’t think that’s possible now…
Jade: first off, we don’t know what the rules are anymore now that we’re here.
Jade: i didn’t want to believe it at first, but if Karkat’s right that this oath impacts the session, i don’t want to doom it by trying to play it how we normally would

John: so what do we do then?
John: follow the rules of this new session and hope we can all win that way?
John: not to be a downer but his session seems kind of…like a solo players
John: i don’t think any of the rules accommodated us at all

Jade: i had thought of the possibility that even if he somehow pulls this off and kills all of the denizens…
Jade: *we* might not be allowed to even leave because we aren’t “players” in this session
Jade: but if the sessions changing because we’re here, i have hope that means the rules can be bent just a little bit to fit us in there
Jade: Rose, do you have any more information on these denizens that you can tell us?
Jade: you were pretty vague about their location, but not their powers so i was just wondering.

Rose: All that I have revealed to you is all that I know.
Rose: Any further information is guarded heavily by those strange beasts…
Rose: I do have something of worth to offer you though.
Rose: The Gods of the Furthest Ring sense that this session is being manipulated by some unknown force.

Dave: that’s us right?
Dave: our presence is majorly fucking everything up in a big way i take it

Rose: Do not be so naive.
Rose: Humans always think they are more important than they really are.
Rose: The session is being changed by your presence is a slight way, that does not mean you are the arbiter of all things different in this new reality.
Rose: In truth, it is the cause of someone far greater than you.

Dave: there’s always a bigger fish i guess

Rose: Precisely.
Rose: It is this person that has altered the session beyond its narrative constraints of sessions past.
Rose: I cannot see who they are as they’re frustratingly good at hiding their identity.
Rose: I despise them for this…
Rose: They must pay for their insolence, how dare they brazenly hide away from the true Gods of the Medium?

Jade: uh okay! Thanks *so* much for that information Rose, that’s enough out of you for the rest of the night!
Jade: if what she says is true then that means we should start on my plan pronto
Jade: John, you and i are gonna spend time trying to turn that husk of a ship into a lab.
Jade: i need a place to work if we’re going to be stuck here for a while.

John: ah great i guess this means i’ve gotta blow all that sand off of the rest of the ship and get it out of that stupid dune…

Jade: Rose, i need you to try and see what’s going on with the ships above us
Jade: since they’re here and not on Derse, sleeping is out of the question…
Jade: so you’re going to have to sneak around a little to investigate.
Jade: or use those fancy seer powers of yours at least.

Rose: I will work on that in between my studies.
Rose: Nothing will ever be more important than the connection with the Gods.
Rose: I hope you realize that.

Jade: sure, sure
Jade: i won’t pressure you or anything
Jade: just make sure it’s done at least?
Jade: and Dave-

Dave: don’t worry i’ve already got it done.
Dave: you want me to keep an eye on Rose or something?
Dave: or maybe help dig out of your old inventions from the sand around here with extra me’s from the future?
Dave: i’m also not impartial to being a lazy sack of shit and not doing anything but it’s totally up to you

Jade: first, you are *never* lazy do not even talk about yourself like that in front of me.
Jade: and secondly, I have something way more important for you to do than just dig stuff up for me!
Jade: besides, that’s what john’s for

John: Hey-!

Jade: you're not going to help with the ship or Rose.

Dave: oh cool

Jade: because you’re going to be with Karkat instead!

Karkat: WAIT WHAT
Karkat: NO LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS
Karkat: I AM NOT BABYSITTING HIM JUST BECAUSE YOU CANNOT FIND SOMETHING FOR HIM TO BE USEFUL FOR

Dave: babysitting?
Dave: that’s rich coming from the guy who throws the biggest hissy fits over the smallest ragebait imaginable
Dave: if anyones on toddler watch it’s me

Karkat: OH GO FUCK YOURSELF
Karkat: I’M NOT HAVING YOU TAG ALONG WITH ME ANYMORE I ALMOST KILLED YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR MOUTH
Karkat: I DON’T WANT ANYONE WHO CAN’T WATCH WHAT THEY SAY AROUND ME FOR A PROLONGED AMOUNT OF TIME
Karkat: I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN HANGOUT WITH SOME ASSHOLE IN SHADES

Jade: ugh you’re BOTH assholes!
Jade: which is why this is the only solution because you’d drive anyone else up a fucking wall, quite frankly.
Jade: Dave, you’re going to help Karkat kill Denizens while we set up shop here on this planet.
Jade: In that time, I want you to learn a thing or two while you’re with him.
Jade: the one thing i’m worried about is not being tied to this session as players and not entering it properly.
Jade: Karkat, you’ve talked about this oath many times but i don’t know what it entails and i don’t think Dave knows either.
Jade: if he’s a Knight, he can make an oath as well with a Denizen can’t he?

Karkat: I’VE NEVER CONSIDERED IT BEFORE.
Karkat: BUT I GUESS THAT MAKES SOME KIND OF SENSE.

Jade: Great!
Jade: so find a Denizen and make an oath with it so we can enter this session as players the correct way!
Jade: you just have to make sure that whatever oath you make isn’t similar to Karkat’s and we should be good.

Dave: won’t i break the oath if you kill the denizen i make a deal with?

Karkat: OATHS PERSIST EVEN IF THE HIGHER BEING YOU MADE IT WITH PERISHES UNFORTUNATELY.
Karkat: OATHS ARE A UNIQUE THING FOR KNIGHTS ONLY, SO THE ONLY WAY TO TRULY MAKE ONE IS IF YOU’RE ALREADY ATTUNED WITH YOUR CLASS AND ASPECT.
Karkat: I’VE ALREADY KILLED 5 OF THESE FUCKERS SO YOUR OPTIONS ARE PRETTY LIMITED.

Dave: i think i’m plenty attuned i time travel all the time

Karkat: YEAH BUT ARE YOU TRULY A KNIGHT?
Karkat: DO YOU HOLD ANYTHING IMPORTANT TO YOU OR HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO PROTECT?
Karkat: IF NOT THEN WE’RE WORKING WITH ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING SO FAR AND IT’S GONNA TAKE FOREVER TO GET YOU READY TO TAKE AN OATH.
Karkat: DON’T EXPECT ME TO BE YOUR PERSONAL THERAPIST OR WHATEVER, THE BEST WAY TO TRAIN IS PHYSICALLY ANYWAYS.
Karkat: WE’LL FIND YOU SOMETHING TO CARE ABOUT WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT.

Dave: that’s stupid and a huge waste of time
Dave: look, i don’t need to go through some bullshit training montage
Dave: this ain’t a shitty action film i don’t need training at all
Dave: that’s what the swords for anyways

Karkat: I COULD LITERALLY BREAK YOU IN HALF OVER MY KNEE LIKE A GODDAMN TWIG
Karkat: WE’RE TRAINING. END OF DISCUSSION.
Karkat: NO MORE FLOATING ABOVE THE GROUND EITHER OR TELEPORTING SHORT DISTANCES
Karkat: THE FIRST THING WE’LL DO IS GET YOU TO ACTUALLY RUN FOR ONCE.
Karkat: AND THEN AFTER THAT WE’LL HAVE TO FIND A DENIZEN FOR YOU TO MAKE AN OATH WITH

Dave: why can’t we just go back to abraxas and make the oath with him
Dave: we do know where he is after all

Karkat: BECAUSE I’VE ALREADY MADE UP MY MIND ABRAXAS IS GOING TO DIE NEXT
Karkat: AND IT’S GOING TO BE HARDER TRYING TO CONVINCE HIM TO MAKE ANY OATH AFTER I’VE ALREADY SHOWN UP…
Karkat: THE OTHER PLANETS ARE A LONG WAY AWAY AS WELL…I’VE ONLY GOT ONE OPTION LEFT FOR YOU
Karkat: WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO TRAVEL TO MY PLANET
Karkat: ITS THE ONLY ONE THAT I STILL HAVE AN OPEN GATE TO

Jade: well i think that settles everything then!
Jade: you two try not to kill one another while your on that epic journey or whatever
Jade: we can’t afford to lose any manpower here.

The group split up, the Derse ships seemed to have made headway on their path to somewhere else. Rose steadily caught up to them, while Jade and John headed for the desert to start work on the yet to be built ship lab. Karkat sat against the wall of the cave as he counted the jars of blood. They were all accounted for, he sighed as the tension left his body for the first time in a while. Dave sat opposite him, his sword laid on his lap. They’d leave once the storm had settled, for now Karkat planned the training regimen in his head.

He felt a soft nudge against his leg and looked down to see the Moobeast from earlier was still there, looking up at him with its big, glassy black eyes. He supposed they couldn’t exactly get any quests done because of the storm, which explained why the Moobeast was still around.

Kanaya: You Should Give It A Name Instead Of Constantly Calling It The Moobeast All The Time.

Karkat: I’M NOT GIVING IT A NAME

Dave: so like…does it have a name or something?

Karkat looked up to see Dave staring at the moobeast still annoyingly nuzzling against his leg. He had almost forgotten the human was there at all when Kanaya began speaking.

Karkat: NO AND I DON’T PLAN ON NAMING IT AT ALL

Dave: this is a golden opportunity for you to loosen up a little
Dave: get rid of some of that toughened lone wolf energy you’ve got going on
Dave: it’ll make people like you more that’s for certain
Dave: so give it a name

Karkat: SHUT UP

Dave: if you don’t i’ll name it then
Dave: i can’t think of anything yet but-

Karkat: DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH IT I DON’T CARE
Karkat: THE COHORTS AREN’T EVEN ACTUAL ANIMALS I SAW THIS THING FIX THAT LARGE TERMINAL EARLIER
Karkat: I SWEAR IT COULD TALK IF IT WANTED TO
Karkat: MAYBE IT ALREADY HAS A NAME AND YOU’RE BEING A RUDE PIECE OF SHIT BY WANTING TO RENAME IT LIKE SOME PET

Dave: i’m gonna get back to you on that naming front in a bit
Dave: i’ve just got to brainstorm for a while…