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Virgin Island: Starring Draco Malfoy

Summary:

Draco Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy fortune, subject of many-a-witches fantasy, threat to every other bachelor in Wizarding Britain, virgin.

One of those things is not like the other, and desperate to change that unattractive descriptor of his, Draco submits himself to go on “Virgin Island”, a televised retreat for the sexually incompetent.

Hermione Granger, golden girl turned “trauma therapist” to all the world, holds some secrets of her own. Will they both make it off the island alive? Or will egos flare on live TV.

Notes:

Let’s just say I’ve binged virgin island and it got my wheels turning… aiming for 60k words or less.

Story takes place modern day, character ages do not reflect cannon birthdates.

As always I don’t own these character or the world they live in, no profit may come from this work. Binding for personal use or gifting only.

NOTE: there IS going to be a dubious relationship between a therapist and client. While sex therapy is a real and important thing, it should never involve a crossover of emotions or exist between two people with a history.

ALSO, Draco is imperfect and judgmental of people dealing with their own problems. He is by no means a morally correct character.

Chapter 1: Day 1

Chapter Text

As Draco folded his last jumper and tucked it neatly into his duffel he couldn’t help but let out a laugh. Sure, he was alone. There was nobody there to hear it. Maybe he just needed to let the universe know how utterly ridiculous he felt just now. Packing his bags. For a virginity retreat?

Were you to ask him at 15 he’d have lied and said he wasn’t. By the war his friends had more to discuss than something so trivial. By 19 people stopped asking and he was able to pretend a little longer. But here, at 25, presented with an opportunity he couldn’t pass, Draco Malfoy finally resigned to the fact that he remained a virgin. 

Draco had known for a long time now that he struggled with intimacy. It wasn’t for a lack of opportunity or desire. He was conventionally fit and had dated plenty before. Even gone so far as to invite a woman home. But when it came to the actual act of being touched and touching others, he faced hurdles that felt insurmountable. 

It wasn’t just touch in an intimate sense. He grew up in a house where you were seen but not heard. Certainly not hugged. No kiss on the cheek or warm welcome from mom. Not so much as a firm handshake from dad. Just the occasional beating when he came home from break, second to Harry Potter. Or worse, Hermione Granger.

That’s how Draco found himself afraid of even a hand shake in greeting. How he found himself recoiling slightly when accosted with a hug, or worse, a kiss. He tried to play it off as normal, it was okay to feel awkward. But as the years passed he realized it was more than an awkwardness, and were he to ever develop into a full functioning wizard, he needed to overcome the barriers that stopped him. 

That’s what led Draco to where he was now, tucking his toiletry bag neatly alongside his clothing and zipping his pack shut. He’d fallen victim to muggle telly for some time now and after seeing an add promoting a new show called Virgin Island, in which young adults go on a free tropical vacation and work with therapists to unpack their trauma and boundary issues, he figured what the hell, and sent off his info. 

To his surprise the phone call came a mere week later, and before he knew it, he was booked on a flight out to his new home for a few weeks. Draco certainly felt shame at this. There was just something embarrassing about a) admitting to being a virgin publicly, and b) going on a bloody tv show to tell the world. But he figured most people he knew in the wizarding world still didn’t have a telly, so he should be relatively “safe.” 

His phone buzzed, the signal that his ride was there and this truly was his reality, and before he could second guess himself any longer he left his flat and locked it behind him. It was only two weeks, he could do it. 

~

Draco was never a fan of airports and found himself growing increasingly uneasy as his uber inched closer in the bumper to bumper traffic leading to the terminal. There were just too many people in a tight space, too much to go wrong. 

His wand wasn’t allowed in his carry on, and would rouse suspicion anyway, so he tucked it in his checked luggage as if it allowed him some anonymity. He hated being without his wand. 

He approached security, having paid for TSA pre-check. He loathed removing his shoes in such a filthy environment. He readied his passport and boarding pass as he approached the agent, placing his belongings on the belt, and walked through the scanner. 

It wasn’t so bad when things ran smoothly, but from how they moved his bag through the machine once, twice, and then a third time, he knew this wasn’t one of those times. 

“Sir, step to the side please,” the woman said from the monitor, only sparing him a short glare. 

He knew better than to argue and took a breath as he stepped to the side, allowing the next passenger through. 

Draco watched anxiously as the agent unzipped his laptop case and pulled out a phial. Shit. He completely forgot he stowed a calming draught there to take before security. 

“Sir, what’s in the bottle,” the agent asked, glaring his way.

“Herbal tonic,” he replied with practiced ease, “helps the nerves.” 

He gave her a smile hoping to convey his innocence but she returned it mockingly, “all liquids are to be in original labeled packaging and fit inside a quart size bag. As this is unlabeled and not in a bag, it’s prohibited.” 

Draco knew better than to point out that the small phial would easily fit in a bag and he had no other liquids. He watched as she unstoppered it and dumped it in the garbage. Without his wand there was little else he could do. 

“I’m going to need you to step this way, sir,” came a masculine voice to his right. He looked over and saw a tall, heavyset guard motioning him towards a small room. Great, exactly what he wanted, a pat down. 

Without fail, no matter how much preparation or research he did, he always managed to mess something up at the airport. It appeared today would be no different and he obliged, allowing the male to lead him to the room and close the door. 

They went through the standard set of questions and the man began to pat him down, Draco struggled not to flinch at each touch. Eventually satisfied with his search Draco was reunited with his bag and allowed into the airport. 

He always arrived early, but today’s detour had him rushing to his gate. Better to keep him moving at least. 

He boarded with ease and noted that the producers had splurged on a business class seat. Sure it wasn’t first class but anything was better than economy. He sat and quietly drummed his knees while the rest of the flight boarded. 

Draco was relieved to not have anyone seated directly next to him, and did his best to relax as the flight took off.

~

“Sir, we’ve just begun to deplane,” he heard a delicate voice say with a pat to the shoulder. Draco hadn’t realized he fell asleep. 

As he came to fully realize the yung flight attendant had her hand gently clasping his shoulder, he woke more suddenly and jerked himself away before apologizing, and thanking her for letting him know. 

If that was one thing he could get out of this experience, he’d be thankful. It was so frustrating feeling nauseated by any casual contact. 

She continued her pass down the aisle, checking on passengers, and he followed suit of the people ahead of him, making his way off the flight. 

Draco had never been to Bora Bora, but he found himself relaxed as the warm air snuck through the catwalk and the plane, tickling the hair at his neck. 

He wasn’t sure why the producers opted against the U.s. virgin islands as a filming location, given the name of the show, but he was certainly okay with their choice. 

~

Draco let out a laugh as he retrieved his bag from luggage claim. It was flagged with the telltale red tag, indicating that they searched his belongings. Typical. 

Some days he was convinced he must be leaving a tangible magic signature that messed with the sensors at airport security.

He made his way towards the exit of the airport and found a private car whose driver held a sign reading “Malfoy” and headed that way. This was really his final chance to back out, but he was sticking with it. 

Draco exchanged pleasantries with the driver and they pulled away from the airport, though he realized quickly they were heading to a port only a short distance away. 

He was passed off to a boat captain who loaded his bag onto the back of his wake boat and welcome Draco aboard. Draco muttered a thank you back, appreciating the French lessons his mom insisted he sit through. 

He did his best to relax but as the boat pulled further out into what looked to be open water, he found himself restless. 

Eventually the boat veered towards an island that was rapidly approaching, and before he knew it he was being ushered into his private villa space for the next two weeks. 

It featured an outdoor shower, sections of glass flooring that showed the ocean below, a kitchenette, soaking tub, and massive bed. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

~

Draco spent some time unpacking his belongings, but it wasn’t until he opened the wardrobe that he realized his mistake. It housed several pair of the same clothing options. Linen shorts, cotton tee shirts, and a few layering options. He was taken aback at the note informing him that for the duration of his stay, aside from swimming, he was only to wear provided clothing. 

Draco felt his confidence falter as he so often took comfort in the clothing he wore. Not to mention, none of the provided clothing allowed him to carry his wand in a concealed manor. He supposed there would be a lot to adjust to on this retreat. 

The small table in his room held a schedule for the next two weeks, though loosely defined. It prompted him to prepare for their first meeting where he would get introduced to the other people on the retreat with him, as well as the therapists here to help them on their journey. 

Draco opted to shower quickly to rinse the days travel off, before changing into the provided clothing. It would have to do.

The cameras placed throughout his room weren’t lost on him, and he found himself appreciative that he didn’t face many insecurities when it came to his own appearance. He had a feeling this was only the beginning. 

Chapter 2: Night 1

Notes:

This has been a really nice palate cleanser so far and I’m just kicking my feet writing it because what the fuck, you know?

I’ve decided on my upload schedule: there is no schedule… I am about a quarter way through writing this one and did most of that in one day so I don’t anticipate any super long lapses. So long as I continue writing at least one chapter a day, I plan to upload a chapter a day (plus a bonus today for it being launch day)

Chapter Text

He studied the map provided before stepping out of his bungalow, noticing a few others dressed in a similar fashion making their way towards his destination. 

As he walked he felt a lack of presence from the camera crew. Though he occasionally caught glances, he had to commend their stealth in capturing moments for the telly program. 

The night was to begin with dinner and an informal meet and greet for just the participants, which Draco was thankful for. Meeting new people was often stressful, so keeping the group size smaller initially sounded wonderful to him. 

As he walked towards the dining space he fell in line with a few others walking that way, and introduced himself briefly. He found it hard to share many words in a group setting and opted to listen, as he often did. 

In the dining space he found several others milling about, and at his arrival with the other latecomers, dinner commenced. The meal looked wonderful, and he sat with two others blokes, Michael and Jason, who talked with him about their failures with women and their disappointments with life. 

Though he didn’t express it, Draco couldn’t help but sneer internally at their remarks. How could he not feel like the odd one out when it seemed nobody here had ever been presented with the opportunity of sex. He couldn’t judge though. At the end of the day they were all in the same boat. 

Draco ate quickly and moved to a lounge area near a fire, where he met Jillian, Meg, and Trey. They seemed a bit more normal at least. Less commiseration, more regular conversation. 

After meeting a few more participants, Draco got the impression they were all unsure why he was even there, a question he had asked himself as well. He just brushed any direct questions off by saying he had his own barriers to overcome. It was, after all, the truth. 

He tried hard to not feel embarrassment over  his hold ups. Sure there was nothing wrong with being a virgin at his age, and seeing other normal people here made him feel less alone. But the way they all looked at him with disbelief was more than a little unsettling. Maybe there was something wrong with him. 

~

It wasn’t long before the whole group gathered by the fire, and he noted there were an even number of men and women. Charming. 

Certainly it wasn’t expected that they would… hook up with each other? This was supposed to be about therapy and self actualization, wasn’t it? 

He found himself taking a mental stock of the people around him, there were Michael and Jason who seemed to have found another like them, Dan. He glowered at the way their eyes raked over some of the women. It was disgusting, really. 

Then there was Trey. While Draco didn’t like to impose labels on others he was nearly certain by now that Trey swung the other way, and maybe hadn’t come to terms with that yet. The other man, Marco, hadn’t said much. Draco was quick to note his struggle with maintaining eye contact, his inability to extend himself to others. 

Of the women, he had already met Jillian and Meg, who both seemed like nice enough girls. They seemed to shy away from him though. Then there was Alyssa, Lisa, Darcy, and Willow. 

He had a harder time reading the women and their motivations for being there, but he supposed it wasn’t his place to pry. 

As the group relaxed, conversation faltered, almost like they’d all run out of their pleasantries. As if on cue, a young woman approached down a path that led away from the covered lounge area they occupied. 

She was young, a year or two older than him at most, but carried herself like a true professional. She approached with a warm smile and made her way around the group introducing herself. 

Draco watched as Vera, he had learned her name, offered a handshake to each participant. He studied their reactions and eagerness to reciprocate physical touch, and found a majority of people took a moment to deliberate before extending their hand. When she came to him he had no reservation in shaking her hand back. Though it felt unnatural and pushed his boundaries a bit, he was here to learn and to try, and that had to start on day one. 

She introduced herself properly with her credentials after addressing them each individually, explaining that she was a therapist who specialized in intimacy and interpersonal connection. 

Draco listened intently as Vera discussed their upcoming two weeks, and gave a general overview of how the days would be structured. There were to be two group workshops a day exploring different aspects of intimacy, as well as one on one sessions to delve deeper into the skills they were learning. 

Vera explained that there would be several therapists joining the workshops and observing their time on the island, and assured that their goals were simply to establish an idea of individual need, and provide a space to explore said needs. She also told them that the therapists would be observing interactions via the cameras placed around the island to get an idea of how they operated outside of a therapeutic setting. 

It all felt quite clinical to Draco, in a way his brain actually understood and appreciated. If things were clinical and structured, it left less to the unknown, which comforted him. 

Vera opened up the discussion to the group, asking them to all share their experiences with intimacy and what they hoped to gain from the two weeks here on the island. 

Nobody was quick to volunteer to go first, so sticking with the headfirst attitude, Draco volunteered. 

“Hi, I’m Draco,” he started, and the group said hello back, “I came here to work on taking down some of my own barriers. I was raised in a less than loving family and have always found challenges with intimacy and touch. I have a fair bit of experience with relationships but have always found myself running into a wall when it comes to things as simple as hand holding or kissing, and obviously with things as intimate as sex.” 

He felt his ears grow warm at the directness of his response, but he knew enough to know that he needed to be brutally honest to grow. 

Draco was taken aback as the group clapped for him and he did his best to clear his lingering worries about judgement. Here, of all places, he wouldn’t be judged. That’s what this place was for. 

He listened as the others shared their experiences, ranging from trauma causing intimacy issues, to the expected responses from some of the men that they just wanted to get laid. He didn’t miss the way Vera scrutinized them. 

As the night began drawing to a natural close, Vera asked if they wanted to meet the rest of the therapeutic team, which they all agreed to. She explained that their exact roles and focuses would be revealed with time, as to not create any preconceived notions or premature anxieties. He supposed that made sense.

Draco watched as a small group made their way towards the lounge space. He studied the faces of the individuals as they arrived, watching how they, in turn, watched him and the other participants. 

He felt good as he laid his eyes on the professionals filtering into the space, it seemed to truly be a good mix of people. Draco was beginning to feel much more secure in his decision to come to the island.

That security faltered in a single heartbeat as the last therapist made her way into the space. He couldn’t hear her name over the roaring in his ears, but he didn’t need to. His mouth ran dry and his jaw slackened as he took in the last person he expected to be here. Hermione fucking Granger. 

Chapter 3: Day 2

Chapter Text

It was a nightmare. It had to be, right? Draco was certain now that he hadn’t actually seen Granger last night. She was a trauma therapist back in London, everyone knew that. Maybe she just looked similar.

No that couldn’t be right, Vera introduced her as Hermione. At least that’s what he heard Michael, Dan, and Jason saying as they departed for the evening.

Draco hadn’t even slept, really. He resigned himself to the fact that it wasn’t, in fact, a dream. He shifted tactics now to getting off the island as fast as he could, it was the only right option. He moved quickly, stuffing his things back into his bag, and made for the door. 

When Draco reached the dock he was dropped off at the day before, there were no boats. No people. Well, there was a quiet cameraman filming him from the distance. Fuck. He would have to talk to Vera as soon as it was a decent hour and explain to her. 

Explain what, exactly? That he knew someone here and had to leave? That hardly seemed like a valid reason. Maybe he’d fake a family emergency. Tell her his mother had fallen ill, that would work. 

No, it wouldn’t, he realized. They’d taken any form of communication with the outside world. 

Draco stomped off towards his bungalow. As his steps carried him closer to his personal hell hole, his feelings shifted. Why should she keep him from being here, anyway? He was here to work on himself and she of all people shouldn’t jeopardize that. He hardly knew her, anyway. They’d made amends post war and had a civilized working relationship when necessary. She sometimes consulted on cases with the DMLE, doing some sort of profiling or something. 

This was her job after all, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He supposed he could at least give day one a shot to see what her role even was in their retreat. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He survived with the dark lord living in his ancestral home. He could survive a few weeks in paradise even if he had to tolerate Grangers presence. 

~ 

Draco lay in his bed, stewing, until the sun began to rise. He dressed in their provided uniform and headed back to the dining pavilion. 

He was the first to arrive and loaded up a plate of breakfast foods. He had to admit, the food here had been nothing short of divine thus far.

He knew from the schedule that breakfast was served buffet style and opened at seven, the first workshop being scheduled for eight thirty. That gave him an hour and a half to prepare for the day ahead.

Draco ate slowly and it wasn’t long before the others arrived, loading their own plates and finding a place to settle in. 

There was much less awkwardness today, it seemed opening up to one another last night laid some good groundwork for the coming few weeks.

Marco motioned to the chair across from Draco, who gave him a curt nod. The two ate quietly, and sat quietly once their plates ran empty. It was nearing time for their first workshop now, and right on schedule, Vera was on her way down the same path she’d taken last night. 

“Hello everyone,” she said with a warm smile, “today will be our first workshop where we will just be connecting with our own bodies. If you’d all follow me.” 

She turned and retreated on the same path she’d arrived on, and it didn’t take long for the group to fall in behind her. 

~ 

She led them to a space that was open to the outside air, similar to their dining pavilion. But here there was an assortment of cushions and mats around the room. There was a structured seating area that Vera motioned them to, and he sat in the back row, with Marco on his left and Jillian on his right. 

The group fell in around him and then came the therapists. Once again, the petite witch with wild curls took up the end of the line and settled with the others off to the side.

He did his best not to look her way, and was fortunate that in the moments where he couldn’t help himself but chance a look, she was looking elsewhere. 

Vera explained how the workshop would run today. It would serve both as a baseline for their comfort levels, as well as an introduction to strategies to get in touch with their own bodies. That seemed easy enough. 

They began by spreading out to the various mats around the room, each grabbing a cushion as well. They started seated on the cushion and Vera instructed them to close their eyes. As soon as Draco did he felt fire course through his veins, certain he was being scrutinized before the activity even began. He flashed his eyes open and glared at the group of therapists but found them all scribbling notes on their pads, paying him no mind. 

He tried again to close his eyes as Vera began a breathing exercise with the group, and he found the more he followed her words, the easier it was to block out his concerns. 

As they sat there breathing along with Vera he noticed how rhythmic she was getting with the breathing, until she began letting out soft pants and moans with each breath. Draco found himself growing uncomfortable at the added stimulation in his ears, but was even more shocked as a few in the group followed her lead and she smiled warmly, offering encouragement.

He hadn’t realized her sounds had been intentional and felt stupid at missing something so plain, but did his best to continue. 

Vera had them all rise, breathing continuing, as she had them open their eyes. Though Vera continued her obscene sounds, the group fell back into silenced breaths as they gained consciousness of one another once again. 

She began to sway back and forth, encouraging them to do the same, and Draco obliged, happy to be able to participate. 

They moved freely side to side, swaying and letting their bodies flow naturally, breathing through the movements. It wasn’t long before a few in the group began to sigh once more and Draco figured what the hell. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh as he moved and realized it felt… good? 

He continued to breathe as he moved and make noises where he felt appropriate, and though he never escalated towards the near moans Vera was letting out, he decided he wasn’t doing so badly. 

Her breaths slowed and noises quieted as she applauded the group for their participation, and called them back to their original seating area. Draco noticed as Meg sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes, and didn’t miss Jason tucking himself discreetly into the waistband of his pants either. 

He felt overwhelmed by the display of different emotions in the room, and while we wanted to help Meg though her trouble, he knew it wasn’t his place. His disgust with Jason didn’t help either.

Vera centered the attention back towards herself and spoke kindly, encouraging everyone for being vulnerable in a group setting. Draco hadn’t realized how much her soft spoken compliments would help him feel he was making the right choice in being here. 

She continued on, explaining that the next part of this mornings workshop was to get a gauge of how comfortable everyone was with intimacy from a viewer perspective. 

Draco couldn’t help but wonder how exactly that would be achieved but his mind was quickly silenced as Vera invited two of their ‘surrogate partners’ to join her in front of the group. 

He hadn’t a moment to dissect what surrogate partner could even mean before his gaze was drawn to Granger as she rose alongside a taller man, Jay, he recalled, making their way to Vera. 

“Well start quite simple,” Vera said, gesturing the two forward as she stepped aside. 

Draco did everything he could to not look at her, focusing his gaze instead on Jay, not concerned with how that may come across to the other therapists. 

The pair didn’t exchange many words before turning to one another. Draco watched as they embraced. As Grangers gaze locked in on Jay, he no longer felt concern over meeting her eye. 

He watched as Jay pulled her into him, wrapping a hand to the small of her back. He watched as she pushed her chest forward and into him. He watched Jay walk her backwards to a pillar behind her, closing her in against his body. He watched as Jay slotted a leg between Grangers and pulled her wrists above her head, pressing into the firm concrete behind her. He listened as the pair both let out breathy moans, though neither so much as shared a kiss. 

Draco found he couldn’t look away. When he finally did pull his gaze from the pair and assessed the group around him, it wasn’t lost on him that several people were sniffling now, wiping tears from their eyes. He also caught the darkness that consumed Jillian’s irises, even as she struggled to hold her gaze on the pair for more than a few seconds. Of course he also didn’t miss the way Jason and Michael were palming themselves over their shorts. Disgusting. 

The pair finally broke from their scene and returned to the group of therapists and Vera stepped back into the space before them. 

“Great,” Vera said, “really, you’ve all done wonderfully today. That can be hard to watch. Does anyone want to share how they are feeling?” 

Surprisingly it was Meg who spoke up. She had been the most tearful thus far, “It felt like I was intruding on something. It brought up stuff I maybe haven’t reconciled with myself and I really didn’t like it.” 

Vera was quick to validate her feelings, offering a hug which was accepted quickly. 

Draco watched as Michael raised his hand to speak next, and was appalled at how Vera appraised his ~very~ obvious physical reaction. 

“I enjoyed watching it. I struggle to know how to even approach people at times and seeing the way Hermione and Jay connected was cool.” 

It wasn’t the response Draco figured he would give, perhaps more honest and less macho than he expected. 

“Good,” Vera said, “I think we will pause here for lunch, I appreciate all of your vulnerability thus far and look forward to continuing to grow with you these next weeks.” 

~ 

It wasn’t until they’d made their way to the dining pavilion that Draco let what had just happened actually sink in. He’d watched and listened to Hermione Granger display intimacy for him and a group of virgins as if he was an imbecile. Gods what was he doing here. 

To make matters worse, Marin, one of the therapists, popped into the lunch space and asked Meg if she felt ready for a one on one. The pair headed off down a different path. Until then, Draco had forgotten about that little part of their day, and found himself dreading a one on one therapy session.

~

The cards seemed to be in his favor today as Vera arrived back to call them to the second workshop of the day, after only about half the group had been pulled away for a one on one. 

They arrived back at the workshop space to a similar setup as before, and were each instructed to find a mat and lay down with their eyes closed.

Draco did as instructed and chose a mat that was pretty centralized amongst the group. He laid back but wasn’t too quick to close his eyes at first. 

Vera began a similar breathing exercise as she had earlier in the day, but was quicker to let her soft sighs and moans escape. 

Draco found the sound grating at his ears, especially as the others around him followed suit. It just felt like too much, too soon. Why were they expected to moan together on the first day of workshopping? What purpose could that possibly serve. 

Before he knew what he was doing he was on his feet, strolling fast away from the pavilion. 

Draco realized he didn’t know where he intended to go, he didn’t even know where the path he was on led, he just knew he couldn’t be there. 

It wasn’t long before he heard footsteps behind him and whipped around, praying to Merlin that it wasn’t Hermione who followed him out here. Her name felt foreign to his brain but he couldn’t very well call her Granger when they’d only been introduced on a first name basis. 

He was relieved to see it wasn’t Hermione, but Marin who had come after him. 

“What are you feeling, Draco,” she said in a calm voice.

It wasn’t the greeting he’d expected and if he was being honest with himself he didn’t know what he was feeling. 

“I don’t know.” He said curtly, letting out a huff of air. 

Marin didn’t reply right away, she just held his gaze for a moment. 

Before he knew it, he was speaking again, “I just don’t get how that’s helping. How closing our eyes and making obscene noises together would help me feel more okay with physical touch. It makes no sense to me. For gods sake some of them are crying and you encourage them to continue doing something that’s causing distress, isn’t that wrong?” 

Marin smiled warmly before replying, “Your feelings are valid, Draco. It can be hard for things to make sense when they seem so disjointed. Everyone responds differently to different types of stimuli, and it is true that some people need to cry through their feelings, but that may be a necessary step in their journey. This isn’t easy for any of you, and it’s okay to need a break. But it’s also okay for someone to cry through it, to allow the release. 

“This exercise may seem pointless to you, Draco, but allow me to phrase it this way. How can you expect to be comfortable being vulnerable in an intimate setting if you aren’t yet comfortable breathing and releasing feeling in a group of individuals like you?” 

He took her words in, and did his best to synthesize them. He supposed he hadn’t really considered that there may be steps before losing his virginity, even before physical touch that he needed to take. 

He considered Meg whose emotions had seemed almost too much earlier today, but when he thought back to when he’d just fled the workshop, he realized she hadn't been crying just then. Maybe there was more to this than he realized. 

~

Marin had excused him back to his bungalow and he took his leave graciously. He had come here thinking he knew everything he needed to work on, but was quickly realizing he may be out of his depths. 

Chapter 4: Night 2

Chapter Text

Draco made his way to dinner where he met back up with the group post workshop. It surprised him that Marco of all people checked in with him to make sure he was okay, and he felt reassured by that gesture. Maybe these people were exactly who he needed to be on this journey with. 

Dinner was once again served buffet style and he had just loaded his plate when Cam, one of the therapists, came down one of the paths towards the pavilion. 

Draco’s stomach dropped when he saw it was his eye that Cam caught, and he realized that this was going to be time for his one on one. 

Cam assured him he could finish dinner first, and though Draco was tempted to drag that out and postpone his session, there was a voice in the back of his head that encouraged him to have an open mind.

~

Cam and Draco settled in a private space, complete with full walls, which was different to the openness of the island he’d experienced thus far. 

He didn’t know what was expected of him so he just sat quietly for a moment until Cam spoke.

“Draco, I wanted to start by commending you for knowing what you needed today, and feeling comfortable stepping out when things felt too much.”

Huh. He certainly hadn’t expected that response to his actions,, but he supposed he would take that over a tongue lashing any day. 

“I just wanted to start this one on one by making myself available for any questions you may have.” 

At that Cam sat back quietly while Draco considered the prompt. 

He supposed he did have a few questions, and couldn’t stop himself from blurting out the biggest one, “What exactly is the purpose of a surrogate?” 

He realized that maybe a simpler question would’ve been a better starting place, but since she’d been referenced to as such, Draco couldn’t stop wondering about Hermione. 

Cam smiled warmly, “A surrogate is a type of therapist who specializes in facilitating intimate contact. They will come into play more as our time here continues. We have several surrogates here on the island, and some who specialize in different things. A partnership with a surrogate hinges on the comfort and trust of both individuals. It’s not something I want you to be too caught up on just yet.” 

Draco thought that response was intentionally vague, and couldn’t help the way he grew more curious about Hermione, but he didn’t want to let that on. 

“Are the types of responses you’ve witnessed normal for something like this,” was his next question as he considered the tears—and the erections he’d witnessed earlier. 

Cam smiled again and replied, “It isn’t uncommon for someone to need to step out, no. It’s also completely normal to experience a physical reaction, whether that be positive or negative. We try our best here to show grace to others as we work on our own feelings towards any given situation.” 

Draco felt a bit chastised, both at having his reaction called out, and for placing judgement on any of the others when he had displayed a reaction as well.

He didn’t know where his next question came from, but he spoke it without reconsideration, “what’s wrong with me?” 

Draco felt a bit embarrassed at voicing that aloud but he knew this was the place if he wanted an honest opinion.

Cam took a breath before asking permission to put a hand on Draco’s shoulder. He reluctantly agreed, and Cam spoke, “Draco, there is nothing wrong with you. Truly. I know it may be hard to believe that now, but we are not here to fix you, because there is nothing broken. You have decided of your own will to be vulnerable, and you chose to come here, to work on removing barriers you’ve yet to conquer on your own. There is nothing wrong with that, it shows great strength to do what you are doing.” 

Draco found himself oddly comforted by the hand at his shoulder. He felt like that physical connection helped Cams words really sink in for him, which left him feeling uneasy yet calm at the same time. 

Cam bid him goodnight as he left the room they had occupied and Draco was shocked to be approached by a cameraman on the outside. Up until now things had been relatively hands off with the filming yet here they were approaching him. 

“Draco, how are you feeling as today draws to a close,” the cameraman prompted. 

How was he feeling?  He didn’t really know just yet, and simply said “Ready for tomorrow,” before heading back to his bungalow. 

~ 

Draco really didn’t know what to think. Maybe Hermione being there wouldn’t be so bad. Thus far their interactions have been limited, she’d honestly acted as if he didn’t even exist. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. 

He headed for the shower, deciding some fresh air and a cool rinse would do him well. He stripped down and stepped under the steady stream of water that fell from the large shower head above. He hadn’t even considered the fact that he was being filmed and bared himself to the camera he was sure could see him. Part of him didn’t even worry, it’s not like they’d be too focused on him outside of his interactions with others. 

He had signed a waiver saying he was okay being recorded nude. He’d never really had issues with his body so he didn’t see why it would be a problem. 

As the water poured around him Draco reflected on the day he’d just had. He was overwhelmed by so many emotions at once and felt he couldn’t discern any one of them. 

He thought back to the workshop that morning. The way everyone sounded moaning around him. The way she had sounded, moaning as Jay pinned her to the wall. The way her breasts swelled as he deepened the pressure he held her with. The small gasp when his thigh pushed its way between her legs. Her eager expression as she relinquished control to him and allowed him to pin her fully.

Draco hadn’t really been cognizant of when he began stroking himself at the thought of Hermione Granger. He became all too aware of his actions, though, when he came with a low moan of her name, pumping his hand quickly over his swollen cock.

Merlin had he really just done that? Draco had always had a hard time even with “loving” himself in that way. But for some gods forsaken reason, thinking of Hermione was enough of a distraction to keep him from hyper fixating on his own actions. 

Insecurity washed over him as his mind flashed back to those cameras. Certainly they wouldn’t be allowed to air something like that on live TV. But then a though crossed his mind as he recalled what Vera said about the therapists studying them via the cameras and he prayed to Merlin that his lapse in judgement would go unnoticed. 

Chapter 5: Day 3

Chapter Text

Draco found his sleep the night before to be much more restful than his first night on the island, and felt embarrassed that it was likely attributed to his jerking off before bed.

He rolled to get dressed and found himself hard. He hadn’t really dealt with morning wood since puberty and felt frustrated more than anything at the influx of hormones. 

It’s not that he wasn’t a horny person, the prospect of dealing with said horniness just didn’t appeal to him and it fell off with time. 

All it took was watching Hermione moaning like that and he was no better than the men he’d been judging yesterday for reacting in kind. Well not quite reacting in kind, as they were openly palming themselves in front of the group. Gods was that even legal?

He was determined to not let this put a damper on the day ahead of him, he wanted to go into today with a good attitude. The schedule for the day showed only one midday workshop, overlapping with their lunch hour which had him curious. 

He decided what better time for a plunge in the ocean than now, as the sun rose slowly across the horizon. 

Draco did his best to situate himself in his swim trunks before diving off the dock that frames his bungalow. 

He swam a few laps, going out several meters and turning back, and finally his excited friend calmed down enough to start his day. 

He dressed quickly after rinsing in the shower again—clothed in his trunks this time—and he headed to breakfast. 

It was surprisingly quiet but he supposed that he was rather late to breakfast today compared to most day. Marco was still in the pavilion, eating while he read a book he must’ve brought along. Draco sat with him and ate quietly.

It wasn’t long before he heard Michael, Jason, and Dan heading up the path, and he swore he heard Marco mutter something about “those douchebags” under his breath. He smirked in agreement. 

“Morning, gents,” Dan said as he started picking through the buffet with his fingers. 

Draco didn’t miss the way Michael snickered at Dans comment and he felt his blood boiling a bit, though he didn’t know why.

“You two seem cozy,” Jason said, which cracked a smile from all three of them. Draco really didn’t like them. 

Though neither he nor Marco had deigned a response, the trio continued. 

“I hear you’ve been paired with Cam for your one on ones,” Michael said, holding back a grin as he looked at Draco, “They’ve paired me with Hermione. Not sure if you’ve heard about the surrogate work yet but I am sure Jay will be a good partner for you. When you’re ready, that is.”

Draco saw red for a plethora of reasons, and rose to his feet but before he could speak, Marco beat him to it.

“You'd best learn to respect the therapists and the other participants here. It’s clear to all of us you’re here to get your tiny prick wet but I’m sure you already know that consent goes both ways.” 

Draco noted that he didn’t comment on the way Michael alleged he was gay, but he did stand up for Hermione in a way he wasn’t sure he could have. Was he really any better? Hadn’t he just wanked to her? 

Before Michael could reply, Vera was proceeding rapidly down the trail, camera hot on her heels. 

“Morning, gentlemen, Michael,” she paused, shooting daggers his way, “a word.” 

Draco offered Marco a small smile in gratitude, and noticed the way Dan and Jason both looked toward the ground, embarrassment plain to see on their red stained cheeks. 

The rest of the morning proceeded rather queitly, and before he knew it, they were headed to the workshop for the day.

~

When Draco settled into the workshop pavilion he noted a different energy in the air. The therapists seemed tense, and a hush fell as the participants settled into their seats. 

Draco did notice the buffet of food in here but tried to pay it no mind. 

Vera strode in after everyone settled, and Draco noted a surprising lack of Michael in the group. 

“Hello everyone,” she greeted, her usual warmth tinged with a hint of something.

“While we do plan to proceed with today’s workshop I have an announcement. Michael has been sent home. The details are not pertinent to anyone not directly involved, but I will warn you all now that certain attitudes and behaviors will not be tolerated towards recipients or therapists.” 

She gave a pointed look to Jason and Dan, but Draco shot his eyes in Hermione's direction.

Had he done something? She caught his gaze and quickly averted her eyes. Draco couldn’t decipher the rage he was feeling at Michael from the heat her glare aroused in him. Gods what was wrong with him.

Vera took a deep breath before greeting everyone once more, and Draco couldn’t help but wonder if that had something to do with filming. She welcomed them to todays workshop and that was that.

~

From what Vera had explained, the point of today was to establish comfort in sharing. Draco had never really had to share growing up and thought this would be rather interesting. 

Vera paired each participant with a therapist, and Draco sighed relief when Jason was paired with Jay, Dan with Cam. Hermione was paired with Jillian, and he was paired with Marin. 

Safe. These pairings were safe. 

Vera instructed the pairs to settle onto the mats from yesterday once more, and she passed a plate of food to each pair. They were instructed to share the meal with little other direction. 

Draco noted there was only one set of silverware which made him uneasy, but if he had to guess, that would be the least of his concern. 

He and Marin fell into an easy conversation about what he does for work. It was hard for him to discuss his job with a muggle but he did his best, avoiding any crucial details of course. 

The conversation with her flowed naturally and he had hardly noticed when she offered him a slice of watermelon, and he bit from it rather than take it from her. 

He supposed none of this was too new for him either, he had been on plenty of dates. He just usually preferred his own plate and silverware. 

He watched as she took a bite from the slice next before extending it back to him. He could feel his insides recoil at her offer but powered through the discomfort, biting into it. 

He felt as some juice dribbled down his chin and before he could grab for a napkin he saw Marin extending a hand towards his face. 

“May I,” she asked. 

He paused. May she? He didn’t really know how he felt so he stared at her hand. She continued her approach slowly, giving him plenty time to stop her, but he allowed her to swipe the juice from where it had gathered at the base of his chin. 

It wasn’t so bad, really, having her hand brush his chin like that. He felt himself nauseated, though, as she drew her hand towards her mouth and sucked the juice from her finger in a way that could be considered seductive. 

He felt his checks flush hot before turning back to the food. The grapes seemed a safe bet and he ate one himself and then decided to lean in to the workshop, offering one to Marin. 

As if sensing his hesitance, she took it from his fingers and popped it into her own mouth. He ate another and then offered her another, this time moving it closer to her mouth. 

She took the invitation and let him feed it to her. 

“This is great, Draco. I can see you working through your hiccups. I am glad to be a part of a safe space for you to work on that,” she said kindly.

He hadn’t considered it like that, but she was right. He felt safe to work on things here, like he wouldn’t be judged for his issues but rather embraced.

Well maybe there was someone here who would judge him. He looked over in Jillian’s direction and was met with caramel eyes staring back at him. Hermione averted his gaze quickly, turning her attention back to Jillian. 

Wasn’t she supposed to be present with her participant? 

Before long he and Marin had finished their food, he realized they’d moved quicker than most other participants, and felt himself swell with pride at his accomplishment. 

Vera thanked them all for their willingness to be adventurous today and let them know there would be no other workshop today, but they should all be expected to be pulled for a one on one at some point in the afternoon or evening.

Chapter 6: Night 3

Chapter Text

Evening had come and Draco had yet to be pulled for a one on one. He lounged at the common beach area with Marco and Trey. Marco brought up what Michael had said and his prompt removal from the island, which led to them filling Trey in on the events that morning. 

Trey laughed and lamented that Jason and Dan had been much more civil with him after the workshop. Draco hadn’t realized Trey had been experiencing any trouble. 

He was interested in the way Trey assured him that regardless of his sexual orientation, he was deserving of this experience. While Draco was affirmed that he was, in fact, straight, he appreciated the affirmation from Trey and made a note to look out for him more as the days passed. 

~

Draco was finally approached for his one on one after dinner, by a woman he hadn’t met yet. 

She introduced herself as Camille and explained that she was a clinical psychologist who worked with participants and surrogates to keep the experience positive for everyone involved. 

Gods, he thought, let his surrogate be anyone but Hermione. Hell, he’d even consider working on some boundaries with Jay to save himself from any alone time with her. 

The walk was shorter than he would’ve hoped, and they arrived at a private room before he had mentally prepared. 

Camille led him through the door and to his absolute shock and horror, sitting on the couch inside, was none other than Hermione Granger.

“Nice to meet you officially,” she said with a warm smile, extending her hand, “I’m Hermione.” 

He shook her hand, and the memory of what that hand had done the night prior flashed in his hand. He dropped hers as quickly as he’d reached for it, and muttered “Draco.” 

Camille explained what her role and Hermione's roles were. As a clinical psychologist, it was Camille’s job to be there for both of them should any issues or needs arise. She would look at their interactions from a clinical standpoint and nothing more to ensure there were no underlying issues. Part of Draco hoped she’d see right through them before the session progressed further. 

Hermione went on to explain her role as a surrogate. Her language was professional and clinical as she explained her work was anything from growing more comfortable with vulnerability to actual physical intimacy. He felt himself reddening as she threw around words like oral and intercourse. She really did that as her job? Had sex with strangers? 

He supposed he shouldn’t see it that way. The whole point of Camille and a surrogate was to establish a working relationship before it ever progressed to that. But gods this was not what he had in mind when swotty Granger said she worked in trauma therapy. 

That unasked question was answered too when she went on to explain that she has professional training in clinical psychology as well, but that was an entirely separate practice from her surrogate work. 

The dreaded time came for Camille to leave them to begin their first one on one.

~ 

They sat in awkward silence for just a moment before Draco caught the imperceptible flick of Hermione's wand. 

“That’ll only give us a moment of interference on the camera and mic feeds so please listen. They cannot know we know each other. I should’ve said something the moment I saw you were here but I panicked. I can get you assigned to another surrogate and we can go on pretending we don’t know one another. Please don’t put my career at risk here.” She spoke quietly and quickly, and Draco was shocked at her demeanor shift. 

He considered her words, logically it made sense that they’d pass like ships in the night and nobody would be made the wiser. 

Hermione must have interpreted his lack of response as an invitation to spout off further, and she spoke, “Or we can pretend not to know one another and I won’t get you reassigned. This is my profession and I am capable of putting personal feelings aside if it is beneficial to your therapy here. You need to decide, Draco. They’ll be here any moment to fix the technical problem I created.” 

He felt a lump in his throat he couldn’t quite swallow. Whether he was indulging some school age curiosity or genuinely more secure working with a surrogate he knew, he wasn’t sure. But his response came out dry, “Nice to meet you, Hermione.” 

The cameras thrummed back to life as he uttered those words, and with them, sealed their fate. 

~

Their first session was rather uneventful. He and Hermione talked about their intentions. He found it easier than he thought to be honest with her about his struggles, he supposed she would understand pureblood culture better than anyone else on the island, even if he had to speak carefully. 

There was minimal touching, though they did sit rather close on the couch. 

One thing he was rather direct about was ensuring Michael hadn’t hurt her. She placed a firm boundary that talking about other recipients in a one on one was not allowed, but he could see in her expression that something wasn’t quite right. 

The rage he felt at that inference took him by surprise.

They wrapped things up rather quickly, and Hermione did explain that as time progresses their sessions would likely lengthen, but assured him they had a good start. 

At the end of the session, she offered him a hug, which he accepted. He felt awkward hugging her, both because of the precarious circumstances, but also because it was a hug which he was still not very comfortable with. 

He had to stop himself from withdrawing when she whispered in his ear, barely audible, “I heard you. Last night. I heard my name. I corrupted the tape.” 

Draco froze. Surely she wasn’t supposed to share that with him, wasn’t that some breach of privacy. 

Gods it took a moment for the wave of embarrassment to crash over him that she had watched him wank like that. Not only that, but knew it was about her. And more, she corrupted the file so nobody else would see it or know it was about her. 

Merlin help him, he thought these two weeks would be impossible to navigate, but was more certain than ever that he was in way, way over his head. 

Chapter 7: Day 4

Chapter Text

What the fuck. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. What was he doing here? Draco woke from what felt like a nightmare but it was just his dumb brain putting the previous night on replay. Over. And over. And over. 

Why had he agreed to stick with her as his surrogate when she had flat out offered another option? Why had she agreed to begin with?

And what the fuck was she doing telling him that she watched him masturbate? What was her angle in all this?

Draco got ready for the day with absolute certainty that she was doing this just to make fun of him. Some kind of payback for how he used to treat her. 

There couldn’t be another option, really. Like she said this put her career on the line. Yet she was doing it anyway. 

Thoughts of fleeing the island circled Draco’s brain once more, though he knew it was no good.

~

Draco had just wrapped up his breakfast by the time they were expected to head to that days workshop. Today was another day with just one, but the evening called for a bonfire.

Vera welcomed them into the pavilion before explaining that their task today was rather simple: write out their deepest fantasy.

Gods he had hoped she wasn’t going to read any examples.

As Vera finished explaining she sent them all on their way with a notebook, and Draco was glad to know his ears wouldn’t be filled with such words from her. 

~

He headed to his bungalow to try and find some privacy to write. When he thought about the prompt, he realized he didn’t really know what his deepest fantasy was. 

Even if he knew what it was, he wouldn’t have known how to write about it.

As he picked through his brain for an ounce of inspiration, something crossed his mind. It was old. Really old and gods awful to even think about. He certainly couldn’t go writing it down, at least, lest it make its way back to her.

Then again, he thought, if she was here with ulterior motives, why couldn’t he play ball?

~ 

Draco had just finished writing his fantasy when he was collected by Camille, and he was again filled with dread over his associating her with Hermione.

“Hello Draco, how’s the writing going?” She asked him on her approach.

“Just wrapping up actually,” he said, tucking the notebook away in his pocket.

Camille exclaimed how wonderful that was, and set off with the expectation that Draco follow.

“Alright, well Hermione said the first surrogate session went quite well, but I wanted to check in with you Draco.” She said as she led him on the now familiar path to the private space. 

He had to be honest with himself. Had she asked him this yesterday, he’d likely have fled for the docks after expressing just how uncomfortable she made him. 

But after he just spent the better part of an hour detailing a fantasy that, for years, she had starred in? He was just as keen on exploring that working relationship.

“Things are good, yeah. We’ve only spent a short time together so I am sure I may have more feedback as time goes on but yeah. Things are good.” He realized how dumb the words sounded as they left his mouth, but he nevertheless found himself grinning as Camille ushered him into the therapy space.

~

“Draco,” Hermione said in a warm greeting, extending a hand.

He shook her hand and replied in kind, “Hermione.” 

Camille had left, closing the door with her departure, and Draco felt it sink in that he was alone with Hermione once again. 

Well, not entirely alone. One was never alone on virgin island, as she so lovingly reminded him the night prior.

He did a mental scan of the room, trying to pick up on camera locations, but found the producers must’ve done a great job camouflaging them in here. He supposed it would be hard to be open during therapy if you saw 6 different cameras in your face. 

“I was thinking today we should just work on our connection,” Hermione said as she gestured towards the couch.

He followed her lead and sat at one end, expecting her to take the other. He was shocked when she plopped down and left mere inches between them. 

“Right,” he started, a bit unsure, “So what do we talk about?” 

It felt silly to voice, honestly. He was just still trying to navigate how to be around cameras while never letting slip that he knew  Hermione. 

“Let’s start simple, how has your time been on the island so far?” She asked in a tone that was personable yet still professional.

How had his time been here? Let’s think. He’d wanked off on camera to his old school age nemesis (while she watched) who also happened to be the sex therapist assigned to him while he attempted to learn the skills he needed to lose his virginity. Gee. How had it been going. 

“Fine, I guess,” he said with a slight shrug.

Hermione reached a tentative hand towards his knee, and though he was tempted to pull away, he cemented his leg in place and allowed her to make contact. For therapeutic purposes, of course. 

“Care to elaborate on that at all? By all means it’s alright if you don’t want to chat with me. I expect Cam and Marin to continue sessions as well. Would you like to shift focus?” She said, sounding nothing like the girl he once knew.

Switch focus? Away from chatting? Draco couldn’t stop himself before the question fell from his mouth, “Shift focus to what, exactly?” 

He felt himself panic as he remembered what she told him surrogates do. She wasn’t suggesting they—certainly they weren’t ready for that yet. 

He watched Hermione's attempt at stifling a grin before she replied, “With surrogate work we begin slow. Something easy. We’re currently sharing space with one another but if you’d be comfortable it can be as simple as holding hands.”

Draco felt embarrassed at the mere thought of holding her hand. People didn’t really do that did they? Wasn’t it just a thing from the movies? 

“Okay,” he said tentatively, and before he could reconsider he stuck his hand out in her direction.

He’d expected her to take his like a handshake, but as he felt her small fingers weave between his own, he found himself holding his hand taught.

“Relax, Draco.” Hermione said, gently closing her fingers on the back of his hand.

He tried to do as she said and worked with intention to let his fingers close around her hand as well.

“Good,” Hermione said. He felt his cheeks grow warm at her praise and prayed to Merlin that it didn’t show.

When he actually thought about it, the physical contact wasn’t that bad. Hermione had nice hands, he supposed. Not clammy or dry. Just kind of like hands.

“This isn’t that bad,” he said, mostly to himself. 

“Good, Draco. That’s great,” Hermione said warmly.

He looked up from where his gaze had fixated on their hands and saw her smiling back at him. 

It was in that moment that this all became wrong again. The only reason she agreed to be here was to make fun of him, he knew it deep down.

Draco pulled his hands free of hers and dropped his gaze, not sure how to feel. 

Worst of all he couldn’t even accuse her of the crime she was clearly committing against him as every interaction they were to have the next few weeks would be on camera. 

“Draco, what just happened?” Hermione asked. 

He didn’t miss the way she reached out as if to comfort him before pulling her hand back. Did people really touch that often?

“I just,” he struggled to convey his feelings in a way that wouldn’t give away any details they’d agreed to keep private. 

“I can’t help but feel patronized. It’s like people see me as this person, imagine me to be one thing. And when I don’t live up to that, I’m the laughing stock of the room.” 

He decided that was the best way to voice his feelings. It hinted at the whole golden girl/death eater conflict that ruled their time at Hogwarts. But he hoped it also conveyed that he felt she was doing that to him, too. He didn’t want her to get away with being patronizing. 

“Oh Draco, no. I apologize. I understand that this may seem like you’re on display and being praised for doing the ‘right thing’. But there is no right thing, we just want you to move in ways that are comfortable for you.” She said in her therapist ways again. 

Gods he couldn’t forgive himself for how easily she soothed his worries. How had she known exactly what he needed to hear?

Draco took a deep breath and reached for her hand again, this time keeping his eyes to himself.

She matched his silence but returned his hold, and gently swiped her thumb across the back of his hand.

Draco thought back on all the times he’d attempted hand holding. Or physical contact in general. But none of them were like this. It just felt right in a way he was scared to confront. 

He finally looked back to her and was pretty sure she had just looked away as he turned. He was positive her cheeks were flushed. He figured she must be pretty embarrassed to be holding his hand, but he offered the courtesy of not making fun of her for it. Merlin knew he’d done his fair share of that. 

Chapter 8: Night 4

Notes:

Please note that Draco’s fantasies are meant to be a bit choppy and hesitant as he still has nothing to pull from. He’s doing his best, okay?

Chapter Text

Draco and the other participants had been gathered in an outdoor space that reminded him of an amphitheater. 

Vera had led them there after dinner without much other information, though she did say to bring their notebooks.

His eyes glazed over as he gazed into the bonfire, the flames licking up at least two meters. It was mesmerizing.

His gaze refocused as the therapists made their way into the space, sitting across the semi circle from where the participants took to the stands. 

Draco watched as they were followed in by a few more camera men, crawling through the stands like ants. Hardly seen, never heard.

Once they were presumably in satisfactory position, Vera offered a warm smile and welcomed everyone to that evenings ‘event’. It was interesting to Draco that this wasn’t considered a workshop but he supposed it was for a reason.

“Alright everyone. As you know, I’ve asked you to bring your fantasies with you tonight.” Vera started, and the mere mention of the filth his notebook contained had him snapping his eyes to Vera.

He hoped more than anything that the next words she spoke would be an invitation to burn the notebook to ashes.

“We thought it would be helpful to allow you all the opportunity to share what you wrote. I know, it sounds daunting, but a part of your journey here is feeling empowered to discuss what you do and don’t like. You can’t expect to experience intimacy if you’re afraid to even talk about it.” She said, catching everyone’s eye at least once.

Draco could’ve sworn his stomach dropped through the earth beneath him. He couldn’t share what he wrote. Could he?

He supposed he’d never directly mentioned her in his fantasy, to anyone it would be nothing more than a fantasy. But even without hearing her name, he knew Hermione would be all too aware this fantasy had something to do with her.

~ 

Draco let a few other participants go before him, noting the clinical way Marco approached the topic, and how it contrasted Jillian’s more detailed depiction. 

He also couldn’t ignore the way that hearing all the words being shared tonight had him feeling things he’d rather not feel. Imagining a certain witch in other fantasies as well. 

Gods what was wrong with him.

There wasn’t an immediate volunteer as Jillian sat back in her spot, pink tinging her cheeks. 

Draco knew Vera was right about this benefiting his therapy and before he could stop himself, he stood, and moved to the front to share his words.

He was grateful in that moment for the setting sun, and the fact that the therapists were once again observing from a distance.

~

“My fantasy,” he read, realizing it was dumb to title the page in such a way, “I would be working somewhere quiet maybe a library. As I am working, I can’t help but feel distracted by the girl hidden behind a mountain of her own books. Flipping pages a little too fast. But I know she’s synthesizing the information. I know this girl, is the thing, more than she may want to admit. Our lives have been intertwined in a way only we will ever understand.

“I continue listening to the rhythmic turning of pages, the scratch of her q—pen. I try zoning it out as I return to my work. It isn’t long until I hear her stacking up some of her books, no doubt going to exchange them for something new, something better. She passes my table, her back to me, and I can’t look away. She’s wearing socks, pulled just above the knee, and a skirt that leaves only a scrap of thigh visible, but I can’t look away. When she doesn’t return the way she came I can’t stop myself from glancing at her table once more. Big mistake. I had been wrong, thinking she may have disappeared. She had found her way back so quietly I hadn’t noticed, and her gaze was now focused squarely on me. Her expression caught me off guard, her eyes were heavy, cheeks pink. I still hear her pen scratching though I don’t know at what, she wasn’t even looking at her paper. Our eyes meet for just a moment too long, and when it’s clear she doesn’t intend to break her gaze, I dropped mine. That was my second mistake. Under the table the girl had her legs spread obscenely wide, her skirt pooling at her hips, while she gently traced her fingers along her bare body. I snapped my eyes back to my work immediately. She hadn’t really just—had she? I couldn’t look again to verify but I was certain I had seen correctly, my body at least was certain.

I try to ignore that annoying strain in my pants but I find myself increasingly distracted by the thought of her behind me. What was she doing?

Unable to restrain myself any longer I turn back, but she’s not at her table anymore. Her belongings are there, but she isn’t. Before I rethink my actions I am on my feet, strolling past the old librarians desk, and into the abyss of sky high book shelves.

It doesn’t take me long to find her, then I don’t think she was trying to hide. She’s chosen a good spot. The library is rather empty to begin with but this particular section is… deserted. She has her back towards me but I can tell by the way she stiffens that she knows I’m there. Before she has the chance to turn I bracket my arms on either side of her, closing her in against the bookshelf. She would make some joke about how it took me long enough, or maybe roll her hips back into mine and comment on how I must’ve liked what I saw. Her brattiness in that moment would be begging to be tamed, and I would take the reins.”

Draco felt all eyes on him. He couldn’t image he’d actually just done that and yet here he was. Short of breath, cheeks tinged pink. Half the group was staring at him as if mesmerized, while the others did everything they could to avoid his gaze.

“Sorry,” he said, quickly returning to his seat.

“Don’t be, Draco. That was wonderful. It was so powerful to see you picture a fantasy so clearly, and put it to words,” Vera said, offering a few claps.

Firmly planted in his seat now, Draco did everything in his power, everything he could, to not look up. Not look over at the witch he’d thought of the whole time he was writing. The witch he was certain would understand she was the muse to his words.

Perhaps he knew himself too well, though, because just as fantasy-Draco couldn’t not look back at the girl in the library, he couldn’t sit there another moment without looking up at her.

When he flashed his gaze, so briefly, to the group of therapists, only one was looking away from their notes. Looking directly at him.

He averted his eyes immediately but there was nothing he could do to shake the feeling that she held her gaze on him. Was watching him. It was her job, he supposed, but if he were being honest, there was a weight to her stare that went beyond that of a therapist. 

He hadn’t realized that Dan, Meg, and Trey all read their fantasies. He caught the tail end of Treys and was thankful that the more descriptive writers were being as detailed as he was, maybe more. 

It wasn’t lost on him, his lack of ability to write about actual sex. Up until that point the words flowed effortlessly, whether spurred by some schoolage fantasy he had at Hogwarts, or simply drawing on dynamics he knew excited him, he didn’t know. If he could be sure of anything, it was that the therapists would psychoanalyze it for him and he could just wait to hear their reasons.

At the end of the night, after everyone had volunteered to read their fantasies, Vera invited anyone who wanted to burn their journals to do so. Draco figured it was just as well, he’d practically filled the small thing. There was something freeing about burning it, too, as if sending it into the ether could somehow help his fantasies come to fruition.

Vera led them back to the main pavilion and bid everyone farewell for the night, and Draco knew he would be needing his rest after the day he’d had. 

Before he could make it back to his bungalow, Jillian had caught up with him.

“That was like, really hot, right?” She asked him with a familiarity he couldn’t justify. 

He decided to play dumb, “Yeah, the fire did get pretty warm.” 

Jillian laughed a strange, almost robotic laugh, “No silly, I mean your fantasy. What’d you think of mine?”

Gods he really didn’t want to be doing this just now. Hermione still occupied every inch of space in his brain, and he really didn’t want to tangle Jillian up in the mess he already needed to sort through.

“It was good, yeah. I’m proud of everyone for being so open.” 

He was glad that brought him to the boardwalk to his bungalow as he bid her goodnight and headed to his room.

~

It took a matter of minutes of reflection for his shorts to grow taught in the front again. He hadn’t dealt with this many hormones since puberty, and he found it rather irritating. Did all men have an insatiable hunger for sex?

He knew he wouldn’t sleep if he did nothing, but then he remembered the cameras. The ones that had so lovingly exposed him to Hermione. 

He knew one place that was, thankfully, camera free. Draco crammed his large frame into the toilet room, clearly not made for someone of his stature. He was repulsed at the idea of masturbating here, but it was the best option for his own good. 

He pumped some lotion into his palm as he undid the drawstring on his shorts, and sprang out to full attention.

This still felt weird to him. What self respecting person touched themself like that? 

He found his thought trapped by the memory of how some of the men had reacted in workshops so far, and how they were met with approval from the therapists. 

He thought of what Hermione had said, even those few words. She met him with no shame, even knowing the full extent of it.

At the thought of Hermione he was settling back quickly into his fantasy, picking up where he left off. 

He stroked himself slowly at first as he rebuilt his mental world. Hermione, up against a bookshelf in the Hogwarts library. The space between them minuscule as he feigned looking over her shoulder to read her book. Asking her what on earth she’s studying for. Hermione, teasingly rocking her ass back into him as she answered as if nothing happened. Ancient Runes, she would say. She’d try to change the subject, or turn to face him. Something bad. They both knew she didn’t actually want to go anywhere.

He would click his tongue at her before flipping her skirt up, exposing her round, bare ass, and give her a firm smack to punish her bad behavior.

She would groan, low and throaty, and this time he’d rock his hips against her bum.

Of course she’d be moaning at a spanking, they both knew how badly they wanted this forbidden love.

He twitched against his pants seam again, and she tried desperately to free him from his clothes. It wouldn’t work, of course. He towered nearly a foot over her and had her exactly where he wanted her. He moved his hands from her thighs up, up towards the apex of her. He could feel the heat, the moisture gathering there even before he made contact. He wrapped one arm firmly around her waist to hold her against him as his right hand neared its destination, and she bucked back into him again. It was stronger now that he had a hold on her, and he tensed his hand where it stopped at her upper inner thigh. Gods he could feel the slick of her on his hand now as he—

Draco was pulled from his fantasy at a breakneck pace as he spurted his spend onto the wall before him. He could at least thank magic for something, he thought, as he flicked his wand to clear away his mess.

Chapter 9: Day 5

Notes:

Sorry I missed yesterday’s upload! I haven’t had a lot of time to write recently, but I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Text

Draco woke surprisingly at peace on day 5. He had to admit he had seen the progress from this place, even if it was as embarrassing as wanking twice in a 7 day period. 

The schedule for the day showed they were back to their normal 2 workshop schedule, but he hadn’t expected the sealed envelope that had been left at his door. 

Greetings

Today marks the beginning of our body confidence workshops. We invite you to come to this mornings workshop dressed in the robe, with however much or little you feel comfortable wearing underneath. 

We will reconvene after breakfast.

It was brief, and Draco felt uncertain at its lack of details. On the bright side, body confidence had never been his issue so these workshops should be a bit easier on him.

He decided without a second thought that he would wear his robe and only his robe. Surely he wouldn’t be the only one. 

Draco made his way to breakfast before he could change his mind.

~ 

After consuming his second plate of fruits and cheeses, Draco was satisfied that he was fueled for the day ahead. Food always did help settle his mind.

As if on cue, Vera popped into the pavilion just as he and Meg dumped their dishes in the dirty bin, and led them away to the workshop space. 

He’d grown accustomed by now to the familiar set up of the space. Two tiered seating for him and the other participants, an open space in the center of the room, and the therapists off to the side. The main difference here was that the therapists were already seated. 

“Welcome,” Vera said after getting a thumbs up from the lead cameraman. That would never fail to feel a bit odd to him, the production behind his experience here.

“Today we will begin our sessions with body confidence. I want to reiterate that what you do with this workshop is entirely your choice.” 

Vera went on to explain that they offer each participant the opportunity to ‘bare it all’ as she said. They had brought in a body length mirror and she said anyone who was comfortable was welcome to shed their robe and view their body in the mirror.

It seemed simple enough to him but he understood why it may be difficult for some. 

Draco watched as the participants glanced to one another after Vera opened it up for them to begin, nobody wanting to go first. He felt like he should put them out of their misery and just go first. It was always easier to jump hurdles when you’re not the first one to do it. 

He was held up, though. While Draco certainly didn’t feel overly confident, he knew he would be justified if he did.

Years of quidditch had started toning his muscle definition, and he found the process of working out to be therapeutic in his adult life. Not to mention the training programs the DMLE put him through. 

On top of his muscles, he was probably nearly a head taller than most the men here. He’d covered his dark mark with a muggle tattoo and found he quite liked the way tattoos could look when they weren’t a symbol of a terrorist group. His one tattoo led to two which led to a majority of his back and left arm being covered, which could be good or bad depending on the person, he supposed.

But the thing he was most worried about getting up in front of the group was his… member. It had been a running joke of his friends back at school that he didn’t need a broom to play quidditch because, well, you know. He just had a feeling in his gut that if he were the first to de-robe, it wouldn’t help any of the other participants.

Still, nobody stood. Vera waited expectantly by the mirror and time ticked on for what felt like an hour. When it became crystal clear that this was his only option, Draco stood.

“Good,” Vera said, “are you comfortable dropping the robe and coming to stand with me at the mirror?” 

He didn’t see why he had to drop the robe here and cross the room. It probably had something to do with feeling comfortable or whatever. 

He untied his robe and let it fall to the floor, doing his best to not look anywhere in particular.

He heard a small gasp to his left and was immediately horrified that he wasn’t meant to be fully nude but then he remembered Vera explaining that their genitals wouldn’t be shown on tv, so clearly this was an acceptable choice.

He made his way quickly to the mirror, keeping his gaze focused in front of him, until he was at Vera’s side.

“Great Draco, now as a part of this exercise we would like you to look at yourself in the mirror, truly look, and say ‘this is my body’”

It sounded dumb, of course it was his body. He did as instructed and made his way back to his spot, quickly drawing his robe back on.

He was right in thinking that he just needed to pull the trigger and start the workshop, it didn’t take long for the others to continue the same steps he had taken. 

Marco surprised him, he was equally, if not more muscled, and just as well endowed. 

Jillian had opted to keep her underthings on, but embraced the workshop nonetheless. Meg surprised him, dropped her robe to just her knickers underneath. He felt his cheeks warm as he noted how nice her breasts looked, and chastised himself for looking in the first place. 

He supposed that was the point though, to grow comfortable with one’s own nudity as well as those around you. He looked to his peers and noticed everyone was watching one another and felt less shamed.

He supposed they were always being watched here, the therapists job was literally to watch them.

Oh gods, he thought, the therapists watching meant that she had been watching. He supposed that thought should’ve occurred to him far sooner than now, far before he’d bared it all to the room.

Then again she’d already seen him, hadn’t she. She didn’t hesitate to let him know that little fact…

The workshop wrapped up rather quickly, Trey was the most dressed, choosing to leave his shirt and underwear on. He was surprised by Dan and Justin, both of whom wore their underwear. He figured they’d be jumping at the chance to get someone’s eyes on their little pricks.

Alyssa and Lisa had both gotten fully nude, and he had to stop from grimacing at the scars that covered Darcy. Whatever her story was, he couldn’t help but feel admiration for her bravery. Willow had work a silk chemise with nothing underneath, at least that’s what he assumed. 

It wasn’t too bad, really, it just helped him realize that everyone has a body, as dumb as that sounds. 

Vera thanked them all again for their bravery this morning before sending them away to lunch. 

Chapter 10: Night 5

Notes:

I’m sorry i’m sorry I am hoping to have more time to write tomorrow

Chapter Text

Lunch had been rather uneventful. Nobody had been pulled for a one on one, and soon Vera was leading them back to the second workshop.

This one felt rather tame, on the topic of body positivity, they were meant to write down some affirmations in their notebooks that they’d say in the mirror each morning for the rest of the time on the island.

Draco had set off to find a private place to write, and had just finished wrapping up his affirmation, when Marin came to find him.

“Hi Draco,” she said, offering him a warm smile.

They always did have the best timing here.

“Hey,” he said back, tucking his notebook away.

“How are you feeling about doing a one on one?” she asked.

He wasn’t aware he had a choice, really, but he appreciated the allusion. He nodded his response and followed her to the private room.

Oh gods, he thought, remembering that he hadn’t really interacted with Hermione since reading the fantasy that was obviously about her.

Maybe she wouldn’t be here tonight…

Marin opened the door to the private space and he was greeted with an empty room, which left him feeling both relief but also a twinge of something he couldn’t quite place. Surely he wasn’t actually missing her.

“Draco,” Marin started, seated just near him on the sofa, “I know we’ve all explained our roles here a little but I wanted to go a bit more in depth with you. While I am not a surrogate, I do facilitate some bodywork. The difference is important to distinguish because it correlates to the type of sessions we can lead.” 

Draco wasn’t sure where she was going with this, but felt a flash of panic that Hermione had decided to back out of their sessions. He couldn’t bring himself to voice that, though.

Marin continued speaking after he filled the silence with nothing but a vacant look her way.

“I was hoping you may be interested in working on physical touch in a non sexual way.” 

He supposed that didn’t seem too bad, though he wouldn’t say he was excited for it.

“Right,” he said, “What do we do?” 

He supposed non-sexual physical touch could really mean anything, but he had to stop himself from balking at her response.

“I have found it can be very helpful to associate positive feelings with touch. Establishing contact in a way that elicits a positive reaction, even if non-sexual, helps open the door for more intimate contact. I though today we could lay on the floor near each other, and if you feel inclined, you may touch my arms or shoulders or even my face. If you’d be okay with me doing the same, I can show you some ways that touch can be stimulating.”

Draco found the idea of touching someone’s face being enjoyable funny, but he wanted to embrace the session. 

“Sure, yeah, you can touch me.” He said.

Marin led the way in laying on the floor, and though Draco found it quite repulsive, he followed suit.

She asked if he’d like her to begin and he said yes, he wasn’t exactly sure what he should be doing.

She began by swiping her fingers across his eyelids, closing them. She dropped her voice to a low whisper and said that depriving one sensation can make it easier to receive touch without fixating on it too much.

She traced her fingers gently across his forehead, down the top of his nose, along his jaw.

He supposed it wasn’t too bad. But he still wasn’t falling for the idea that it was truly enjoyable.

She moved her hand to his shoulder, his arm, switching between gentle brushes of her fingers to more firm grasps at his muscles. When she ran her fingers along the inside of his elbow he couldn’t help the low hum he let out, and he could hear the smile in Marin’s voice as she praised him for allowing his feelings to soothe his worries.

She did a few more passes along his arms, his neck, back to his face. Through his hair. Draco didn’t know when he’d almost fallen asleep, but all too soon, Marin was pulling him back to the present. 

“Great, Draco, would you like to give it a try?” She said.

He rolled to his side and propped on his elbow, facing her.

“Sure,” he said. 

She laid back, her black hair cascading around her shoulders. He supposed she was pretty, if that were something he really worried over.

He reached his hand forward, nearing her face, but found himself pulling his hand back short. What if he hurt her? 

He decided her arm would be a better starting point. He ran a finger lightly down her forearm, circling her palm and tracing each finger. He followed the path back up to her neck and ran the back of his hand gently down the side of her neck. He traced her eyebrows, the peaks and valley above her lip, stroked her cheekbone and let his fingers continue into her hair.

He wound her hair around his fingers, imitating a curl. Her pin straight hair felt wrong in his hands, but then he didn’t really know what would feel right. 

As they lay there side by side Draco noted how tall Marin was. Sure she was still shorter than him, but not by as much as many women.

He hadn’t realized his hand had pulled back towards his chest until she was opening her eyes.

They were face to face now, still on the floor,”How did that feel?” She asked, her eyes having grown tired. 

“I liked being touched more than I liked touching, I think. I just get in my head about hurting you or doing something wrong. But it felt nice to relax.” Draco hoped he answered in a way they’d find satisfactory.

“You didn't hurt me or do anything wrong,” Marin said, “That was really good, I feel very relaxed Draco.” 

He felt himself grow warm at her praise again and chided himself for feeling that way.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment longer before Draco felt the need to break eye contact.

“I think that’s great for today, Draco. Are you feeling good to end our one on one here? Do you have any questions for me?” She asked, her tone ever calm.

“I feel good,” he started, and before he could stop himself he let a question that was meant to go unasked slip out, “Is— Is Hermione no longer comfortable doing sessions with me?”

He knew he shouldn’t have asked it. Loathed the fact that she was probably observing him this very minute. But some part of him needed to know. He was terrified of that rejection and he really didn’t know why.

Marin smiled warmly, “Not at all, Draco. When someone has been introduced under the pretenses of a surrogate, it can be difficult to initiate physical contact. We felt you may benefit from starting a little easier, like we did today. I expect you’ll be seeing Hermione in the next few days.”

That made sense, he supposed. He had felt rather anxious in Hermiones presence, and tonight had gone quite well. Draco found himself thanking Marin for helping him, and found a genuine smile had fixed itself on his face.

He couldn’t help but feel proud of himself for how he’d progressed over the last few days, but when he thought about the days that lie ahead, he felt a bit of unextinguished anxiety flicker from within

Chapter 11: Day 6

Notes:

Sorry everyone life is BUSY over here

Chapter Text

Draco woke early, the sounds of ocean gently washing against the beams below his bungalow. He decided a quick swim was in order, he really ought to enjoy the paradise he got to call home for the time being.

He was dressing in the loo and remembered their assignment to say their daily affirmations. As a part of his mantra to take his time seriously, he stopped in front of the mirror.

It felt silly, really, the idea of speaking aloud to himself, but he decided to give it a try. 

“I am not defined by my past,” he said quietly, struggling to look at himself in the mirror. Struggling to look away from his arm.

”I am deserving of love,” he said next, his voice catching a bit on the word. He’d thought he’d been in love before, received plenty of love from his plethora of girlfriends But he was just beginning to realize that none of that was really love.

”I am worthy of affection,” he said last. He wasn’t exactly sure what he fully meant by that one, but he knew the voice in his head that said physical touch was wrong didn’t like the idea. 

Satisfied with his dedication to the workshop, he padded over to his balcony and dove into the warm blue water below. 

~

Breakfast was rather uneventful once again but Draco was happy to see that everyone was beginning to mingle a bit more. There was still the odd man out here or there but for the most part, the group could no longer be considered strangers.

Vera arrived as expected and led them to the workshop space. She began by asking everyone if they’d said their affirmations, and Draco was proud to honestly answer that he had.

After she’d asked them all about that, she went on to explain that for today’s workshop they would be randomly paired and tasked with offering a massage to their partner. She and Jay did a brief demonstration of different types of massages, as simple as a hand or foot rub, and as in depth as a full body massage that was, to put it lightly, minimally clothed.

Draco found himself thankful that Jillian wasn’t his assigned partner. Something about her gave him the creeps. She had been partnered with Dan, though, and they both seemed to be happy with that.

Draco had been partnered with Darcy, and immediately thought back to her scars. She looked as if she’d been burned, and he shuddered at the idea that he could be the cause of something similar on someone else. The war was a dark time. 

He and Darcy found an area along the beach with some large rocks that had warmed in the sun. As they settled in, Draco realized that he and Darcy hadn’t really had more than face value conversations.

“Hey,” he said, not exactly sure how to open up the conversation.

“Hi,” she replied, not adding much. 

“Would you like—” he started but she spoke at the same time.

“Could I give you a massage first?” She asked.

He was about to give her the choice anyways so he agreed. 

After some back and forth, and his reassurance over and over that he was okay with whatever amount of massage she wanted to give, he was shirtless and laying on his stomach on a large flat rock that had warmed in the sun. 

Darcy touched him tentatively, tracing her fingers along the ink that covered his back. He’d always found kinship with dragons, it was his namesake after all. His favorite, and most impressive tattoo, was the dragon that spanned his shoulders. The dragons talons clung to his body, as if they were the only thing keeping the tattoo in place. Its wings were spread wide and extended diagonally up and across his left shoulder, and wrapped down around his right ribcage. He’d never been much of a fan of color with his tattoos, but even if he had, this dragon would’ve been black. Its tail wrapped around his bicep and down his arm, coming to a spiky clubbed end that covered his dark mark. His right shoulder bore the heat and swirls of smoke that spilled from the dragons angry mouth.  

“I’ve never seen a tattoo like this before,” Darcy said, and he could hear the awe in her tone. 

Draco supposed it had something to do with Blaise and his combination of muggle and magical tattoo techniques. It held all of the life likeness that could be achieved via magic methods, but still could hold its own when being viewed by muggles. 

“Thank you,” he said, though he realized after that she hadn’t really said a compliment. 

As she traced her fingers along her touch got a bit more intentional, she added pressure and pushed on the right places, and he couldn’t help but admit it felt good. 

“It just makes me think—” she started, but cut herself off with what sounded like an anxious laugh, “Nevermind.”

At this he found himself intrigued. Most women he’d met could never stop talking, but he found himself desperate to hear what she had to say. 

When he thought about it he supposed Darcy was quite beautiful. She was small with brown wavy hair, light brown eyes. Her skin had grown freckled from the sun, too, if he was remembering correct. By all means she wasn’t the type he’d expect to be here, but then, many people felt the same about him. 

“It’s okay, you can share. I won’t laugh,” he said, hoping to ease some of her anxiety. 

After a few moments of silence, he felt as her movements paused, heard her deep breath. 

“It just looks so real. Like, as if the artist had actually seen a real dragon before. Been up close and personal. But I know that sounds crazy.” She said quickly and quietly. 

He wished he could face her, reassure her that she wasn’t crazy. But that would cause him a lot of problems, ones his reputation couldn’t stand up to. He didn’t know why he felt that way anyway, he didn’t really owe her any explanation. 

She was right though. He just didn’t feel right lying to her. 

“Wouldn’t that be something,” he said, deciding it was the best response. 

Her hands had fallen away and he decided to progress into his turn giving a massage, he didn’t want her to withdraw more than she had when it felt like they were both actually making some progress here. He hadn’t even minded her hands on his back. 

As he sat up and turned to face her, he realized his earlier recollection of her was wrong. Sure, she was beautiful, but where he was remembering waves in her hair, there was just a lot of frizz. Her eyes were brown, but not the light toffee color he was thinking of. And there wasn’t a freckle in sight. He found that odd, his job so often relied on his memory but here he had completely misremembered someone. 

He didn’t want to let his hesitation worry her so he proceeded right into it, “what would you like me to massage?” 

He tried to sound as least creepy as possible but it was hard with a question like that. 

She paused and considered, and in that moment he remembered her body. The scars that covered it, the mangled skin she hid beneath her clothing. 

Draco watched as a shift happened in Darcy, as she wrapped her arms around her middle, and struggled to maintain eye contact. He threw caution to the wind and decided to try something, hoping in may help.

“Darcy,” he said softly, and he watched as she peered through her hair at him.

“My tattoo,” he started, feeling himself tense at the thought of what came next. 

“Something happened to me when I was younger,” he continued, not quite a full truth but the best he could manage, “my tattoo is covering my scars.” 

He outstretched his forearm to him, and the tight mangled skin was obvious in the sun. He’d done more harm than good all the times he tried to remove it. He supposed it wasn’t entirely a lie that something happened to him. He didn’t have much of a say in anything. Not that he would ever excuse his behaviors like that. His dad held him down as they branded the mark in his arm, sure, but his actions were still his own. 

Darcy reached a hand towards him and quickly withdrew when she realized what she was doing. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said quietly.

“No,” he said, cutting her off, “this isn’t for you to apologize for. I just wanted to help you understand that I— I don’t see you any differently. I’m not going to pry, and I don’t judge others. Especially about this kind of thing.” 

He watched as she nodded her head before slowly lifting her shirt over her head. She still had a tank top underneath and he could see the angry marks pouring out around it but he did what he does best and hardened his exterior enough that he didn’t show the immense pain he felt for her.

“My shoulders,” she said, before turning and pulling her hair into a bun behind her. 

She remained seated where he had chosen to lie down but it was all the same. He worked gently, as to not irritate her skin, and he worked his fingers into the knots on her back.

Draco found himself holding in a giggle when she let out a soft moan, but he supposed this may be the first massage she ever received. The first time someone’s touch made her feel good. So he did his best to do just that. 

 

 

Chapter 12: Night 6

Notes:

And just like that it’s 2am and I can’t stop writing!
Also yes Draco is having full blown mood swings he’s confused and horny okay

Chapter Text

Draco and Darcy parted on good terms and, though he hated that he had the thought, she’d gotten much less emotional than he thought she’d be. He could only hope that his interactions helped her to find some peace with herself but he supposed that wasn’t necessarily his job here, either. 

At dinner she asked to sit with him and Marco, and she brought Willow with her. He hadn’t really interacted with her much, but that seemed to be how she was. He wouldn’t push. 

As they wrapped up dinner, Vera made an appearance once more, and led them to the workshop area. 

“Alright everyone, how are we all feeling,” she said with a warm smile after ensuring the cameras were in position. 

Nobody answered enthusiastically but there were some head nods. 

“Great,” she said a little too chipper, and Draco realized he was growing annoyed of her tv personality. 

For tonight’s workshop we really just wanted to encourage you all to share how your massages went, and offer the opportunity for anyone to demonstrate here. With their massage partner, or a therapist. 

Nobody said anything right away, and Cam spoke up from the therapist area, “Before we begin, I just wanted to give a major kudos. We don’t like to draw too much attention to any one person, so this will remain anonymous, but you’ll know who you are. Earlier today while we reviewed the footage from your massages we witnessed a real, genuine moment of connection and vulnerability. It takes a lot to know what we need in a given situation, and even more to be tuned in to what others may need. When you witnessed someone in a moment of uncertainty, and maybe felt some yourself, it came as a second nature to display your own vulnerability, and that is so impressive.” 

Draco wondered if they were talking about him, and caught Darcy’s half smile as the group looked to one another, as if to figure out who they were talking about. 

It seemed Cam’s speech broke the ice in just the right way, and before he knew it, Jillian and Dan had scrambled up to the massage table in the center of the space. 

Dan laid on his stomach as Jillian awkwardly prodded his arms, and they received a lot of praise from the therapists. Draco found that odd from how disconnected they seemed but he didn’t want to be quick to judge. 

Darcy leaned over from where she sat next to him and whispered, “You should go next, I don’t think they know how awkward they look. Honestly it would be funny to see them taken down a peg.” 

He had to stop from laughing out loud, he hadn’t expected something like that from her but he had to admit he agreed. Something about Jillian—and Dan for that matter—gave him the creeps.

He asked her if she wanted to go up as well and she shook her head no before looking away. 

He didn’t miss the way Vera glared at them so he supposed he would have to go next, if only to appease her. 

Jillian and Dan made their way back to their seats and he raised his hand slowly, “I’ll go.” 

She still looked to Darcy, who was clearly feeling uncomfortable at the attention, so he quickly followed with, “Just me, it’s okay.”

He stood and made his way to the middle as Vera asked who he would like to massage. He supposed he could say Marin, they’d just done a bit of body work. But he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, either. There was someone, though. Someone he was certain was trying to make a fool of him somehow. He’d show her. 

“Hermione, would you mind,” he said, flashing her a quick smile.

She stood and moved to the center, laying on her stomach. He only now noticed she was dressed in shorts and a tank top, though he supposed that made a massage a bit easier. 

He began at her shoulders and her back, rubbing with a firm but gentle pressure. He followed the lines he knew muscles ran in and paid extra attention to any areas that felt crunchy. 

He worked his way down her back, being sure to keep her shirt in place as he moved. Her moan of appreciation didn’t slip his notice either and he found himself disconnecting from her immediately at that noise. 

It struck him though, that this was the first time he pulled away because he was afraid of how he might react. Not afraid of the fact that he was doing something wrong or hurting her. Or touching her in general.

“Great,” Vera said, and her previously hardened glare had softened again as she reconciled that he and Darcy were primarily discussing if they’d go up as a pair. What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

Draco watched as a few more people went up individually, and a few pairs as well. He stifled a giggle when both Marco and his partner Meg thought they were the one giving the massage, and then had everyone sit through both of them taking a turn. The workshop wrapped up rather quickly after that and he made his way to his bungalow. 

~ 

“Draco,” he heard a familiar voice call as he approached his room.

“Would you—are you okay with fitting a one on one in tonight?” 

Hermione had slowed from the near jog she’d held trying to catch up to him. Was he okay with that? He thought back to that little moan and had to practically scream at his penis to not get hard right now or so help me merlin I will cut you off. His threat to himself seemed to work, though he found himself irate that she had once again gotten some kind of a reaction out of him. He knew if he said no she would just scrutinize his actions once he got into his bungalow, and he didn’t feel any desire for her to watch him lock himself away and try to fill in the gaps for exactly what he may be doing.

He found himself gritting his teeth as he bit out a quick “sure” and followed her to the space they held their sessions in. 

~

“So,” she said, closing the door behind her, “I’m sure you’re aware but what Cam was saying earlier was about you. We don’t like to call out in front of a group but we do make sure the feedback is received privately.”

Oh, maybe that’s all this was about. That was fine, he thought. 

“Thanks,” he said, trying not to let his temper get the best of him. He really didn’t know where his temper had come from. He just felt so volatile around her and he had no idea why. 

“Of course. That level of empathy is almost unheard of, especially amongst several demographics you fall into.” She said with a slight smile.

Was she trying to make him mad? 

“I should clarify,” she said, perhaps picking up on his shifting mood, “Empathy isn’t necessarily measurable but when observed objectively, white men of your age range tend to struggle the most with it. But it was second nature to you, Draco, and that’s so incredibly impressive.”

He knew the demographic she left out, the one she couldn’t say. The ex death eater one.

“Thank you,” he said, taking a breath. For someone who worked in therapy she was really bad at talking to people sometimes. 

“Is that all,” he asked, perhaps a bit hastily. 

“It can be,” she started, “but if you’d like to continue exploring the body work you started with Marin and continued throughout the day, we have time.” 

He really didn’t know what he wanted. If he was being honest, spending time touching Hermione was both the first and last thing he wanted just now. I mean, it was 90% no thank you. That 10% just had a lot to say. 

“Sure,” he blurted out before he had finished reasoning with himself. 

“Great,” she said with a warm smile, “Would you like to continue massage work like we were doing before?”

He thought back to the way her skin felt under his hands. The way she sounded moaning at his touch. He had to stop himself from literally jumping at the chance to experience that again, and took a breath. 

“Sure,” he said, only realizing after that he’d been rather curt with her since his arrival, “That sounds good.”

“Draco, are you okay if I remove my top for this massage,” she asked rather passively. He honestly hadn’t expected the question and felt himself balk at its plainness.

“I wouldn’t be exposing myself, I would lay on my stomach and would undress away from your eyes. I just felt as though you were seeking more space earlier and I want to work on leaning into the desire to touch, encourage that in you.” She said.

Her tone was so informal yet clinical at the same time. There was a cause and effect for everything she suggested, but she was still suggesting she get naked. Draco again felt as he went to war with himself, but knew the bigger a deal he made the weirder it would get. 

“Sure,” he said, turning quickly before she could start to undress. 

He listened as he heard her tank top brush past her arms. He heard her as she freed the straps of her bra from her arms. He pictured the way she might look as she settled into the makeshift massage mat on the floor behind him. He cut his mental imagery short, once more doing everything in his power to keep himself calm and relaxed. In what world had he ever expected to be in the same room as a topless Hermione Granger?

“Okay,” she said quietly, “I’m good.”

He turned and was met with exactly what he expected if he was being honest. Her shorts still hugged her waist and fell to her mid thigh, but her back was an expanse of soft, creamy skin, flecked with golden freckles. She was entirely decent, not even a hint of side boob exposed from where she lay, and he supposed that was a good thing. 

“Right,” he said, letting his eyes roam over her once more. Gods he was a pig. He noticed she’d brought a massage oil with them and had it set next to her where she lay, and squeezed some gently into his hands.

He rubbed them together a few times to warm it up and was reminded of his mother and her various potions and salves she’d massage on his skin when he was sick. He quickly banished all thoughts of his mother—and illness for that matter—from his head.

“I’m going to touch you now,” he said. It felt robotic and odd but he knew it was better than just laying his hands on her body.

Draco moved his hands closer. Closer to her bare skin. Almost making contact, he could feel her warmth. And he paused. What was he doing? Pretending this was normal. Pretending there wasn’t some unspoken tension between them that may never go away. He shook his head once, remembering the cameras hidden throughout the room.

Don’t let it show, he thought, they’d agreed to do this. He placed his hands down on her back firmly, and moved them around to disperse the massage oil. He realized just how small her frame was as he swiped his hands over her, and he noticed she was muscular, too. He fell into silence as he worked his hands across her shoulder blades, over her mid back, down, down to her lower back. He worked back up slowly and then massaged down her arms.

He could tell she was doing her best to hold in any expressions of pleasure at his touch, but he found himself wanting to hear them. He needed to figure himself out, and fast, because at this rate, Hermione was going to be the first and only woman he truly wanted to touch. And he didn’t think he was okay with that. 

Chapter 13: Day 7

Chapter Text

Draco awoke feeling relief that he’d made it to the halfway point. He started this experience ready to swim his way off the island but found himself actually enjoying it now.

He still felt so much animosity towards Hermione and the way she chose to treat him at times, still felt patronized by her oddly timed praise or comments that felt snide. But some part of him also liked her praise. He liked the things she said at the wrong times. It made things feel more human, more real, and he needed that.

When he worked with Marin or even in his conversations with the other participants or therapists, he felt a little bit too much of the clinical side of things, but with Hermione it was familiar in a way he hadn’t expected. 

Giving her a massage had actually been kind of nice, he felt as though he were helping her to unwind just as much as she was helping him overcome his fears. 

She had offered him a massage the night before but he felt the urge to decline come on so swiftly he had to listen to it. It had been a really big day for him with receiving touch from Darcy for as long as he had, to his moment of vulnerability, to his massaging Granger twice. But he woke up with a weird sense of certainty that, if asked, he could comfortably offer someone a back rub.

~

Breakfast was the same as always and they were quickly carted away to the workshop space. Vera started by telling them they would be revisiting the first workshop, breathing and moving their bodies. But they’d be working in pairs to move together. She encouraged them to surrender to their inner animal in their movements and allow themselves to exist without judgement or fear. 

He was once again feeling anxious about who he would be paired with, but Vera quickly informed everyone they’d be partnered with their usual one on one therapists.

Draco hadn’t really considered if everyone had their own therapist, but there were an even number of therapists to participants now, and there was no confusion as the therapists walked over to join their participant.

Hermione smiled warmly at him and commented that she hadn’t felt so relaxed in a long time, and he found himself actually returning her smile at that. They began by breathing together with their eyes closed and listened to Veras instruction as she encouraged them to sway back and forth. He and Hermione were facing one another and as they began to sway he found himself reaching towards her, and was surprised to find her arm extended in his direction as well, even with their eyes closed.

It hit him that maybe her eyes weren’t closed and he felt  wave of nausea at the idea that everyone was watching him. His eyes shot open and he felt himself tense up, but nobody around him seemed to notice. They were all wrapped up in their own movements and breathing, and Hermione worked to quickly get him back into a state of relaxation. She moved with her breathing and made it increasingly audible as he took deep breaths and closed his eyes once more.

“Wonderful everyone,” he heard Vera say, “I invite you to continue moving in whatever ways feel most natural to you.”

He and Hermione were swaying back and forth once more and he found himself intertwining his fingers with hers. He let his breathing soothe the immediate panic he felt at his desire to do so and was reassured when she reached for his other hand. They were standing close now, still moving, and he felt how her hands fit perfectly within his own. He felt as she raised one side of their arms up and he instinctively turned her inward, wrapping her body around to now be facing the same way as his own.

He tried to not feel too weird at the way they were now pressed together, her back against his front, still breathing in tandem and moving with their breaths. He unlaced their fingers, but it wasn’t to break contact, it was really the opposite. Her arms still crossed over her midsection but he trailed his hands up her forearms, crossing his arms overtop hers, until they were fully flush to one another. He hadn’t realized there was music playing until now, but he did notice that he was breathing and moving in time to it. Hermione leaned her head back into his chest, and he could feel her hair tickling at his neck. Draco let his chin drop down onto her head and he took a deep breath, letting out a long sigh.

“Is everything okay,” she asked, though he felt her words more than he heard them.

“Yeah, this is nice,” Draco said, now unaware of his surroundings entirely. He’d fully surrendered to the workshop without realizing it, and every time he felt panic begin to swell deep within him about what he was doing and who he was doing it with, his deep breaths put out the fire before it had a chance to do more than flicker. 

They stood like that for a few moments more, and he noticed the music slowly fading out in the background. Draco let his eyes flutter open slowly and adjust to the sunlight filtering in around them. As he came back to his body he felt everything more that he had just a moment ago. He felt the way her body tucked within his arms. The way her head leaned back against his heart, where it was doubtlessly hammering a steady rhythm for her to hear. He felt the way the swell of her ass rested against his thighs, and her breasts heaved gently against his forearms with every breath.

And gods did he feel the way he began to harden as he thought about her like that. 

Draco untwined himself from her so quickly he was surprised neither of them stumbled and fell. 

“Draco,” she said quietly, “would you like to have a chat somewhere more private?”

He wasn’t sure they were supposed to just leave a workshop like that, but he supposed she held some authority on the matter.

Did he want to talk, though? Would he have to admit why he’d essentially ejected himself off of her? Had she already known? 

For every worry he had he found himself equally intrigued in going elsewhere to talk. He could see that darkness in her eyes and he needed to hear what she had to say. He couldn’t find the words to say that yes, gods, he wanted to be alone with her right now. His mouth was so dry he couldn’t have spoken them anyway, so he nodded.

Hermione led them back to that familiar room they frequented and she explained along the way that it was his room. Of course it wasn’t his bungalow, but he was the only participant to use that private space, they each had their own. Oddly enough that calmed some anxiety he hadn’t known was there, but he felt good knowing there was nobody else touching in there. 

When Hermione led him through the door he saw that lunch had been prepared and served in the space, and he got the feeling that everyone would be having a one on one after that workshop. 

“Draco, I want to start by telling you how amazing it was to see you breathe through your anxieties and surrender to the workshop. You did so much better than we anticipated anyone would do. How are you feeling?” She asked calmly.

He was beginning to recognize the pattern of  offering compliments and praise before asking a question, but he didn’t mind it.

“I feel good about the progress I have been making here in general. Today felt good. But I also feel a bit… I don’t know, awkward?” He said, though it was more of a question than a statement.

Hermione smiled briefly before replying, “There’s nothing wrong with that. Honestly you’ve been excelling with every workshop and if you didn’t face a bit of awkward feelings here or there, we would be worried.” 

He let her words sink in before she continued, “I understand why that may have felt like too much for you, but I also want to remind you that arousal isn’t something that can be put in a straight jacket. It’s natural, and human. I don’t want you thinking that you were the only one in that room who had a physical reaction to the workshop.” 

Great, so she had noticed. He felt himself reddening, and snapped back quickly, “You can’t say something like that, you’d have no way of knowing.” 

She wouldn’t, really. No matter how much of a know it all Hermione may be, she had no way of knowing if anyone else was aroused during the workshop. Not unless she was checking every man out for a pitched tent, which he found doubtful given the whole eyes-closed thing.

“Draco,” she said, reaching for his hand. That called his attention back to her and away from the embarrassment he felt spiraling within him, “I can know that for a fact. I know you weren’t the only one aroused in there because I was aroused, too.” 

Chapter 14: Night 7

Notes:

This puts us about half way!! Longer chapter that is kind of smut heavy but also not 100% explicitly sexual in nature. Chapter ends with a dubious choice on Draco’s part, but using context clues, he made a (correct) assumption that his intentions were warranted.

Chapter Text

Draco felt himself respond to her statement but he hadn’t the faintest idea what his response meant. He felt as his face flushed warm but the heat left his hands, they felt as if static was running through them. Some part of him was screaming to run away because aroused women had never gone well for him before. A bigger part of him was telling him to stay because maybe this time it would be different. He didn’t reply right away but he was thankful she didn’t go on rambling either. The idea of an aroused Hermione Granger had piqued his interest for far longer than he cared to admit. It was evident in the fantasy he wrote, the way he’d wanked off to her twice in the last week alone—an activity he typically reserved only for special occasions. It was evident in the way he craved more every time a breathy moan escaped her lips. The way he felt himself growing stiff again, even now.

“Oh,” he said quietly, not really knowing what else to say.

He looked at Hermione and she was already staring back at him, heat still apparent in her eyes. Did he even want this? To be alone in a room with an evidently horny Hermione? He felt every part of him protest at the thought of leaving, so he knew he had to honor his own wishes to get the most with his therapy.

“Would you like—” She started, but fell short on her own words. He watched as she took a deep breath, and continued, “Would you like to resume where we stopped at the workshop earlier? No expectations, just allowing ourselves to move how we desire? It may feel different now that we are not amongst a group.”

Draco realized for the first time maybe ever that he wanted nothing more than to resume touching someone else. He itched at the idea. In that moment, Draco wondered if he’d ever actually felt arousal before now. 

His throat was dry and he struggled to say yes, so he nodded his head. 

“Draco,” Hermione said, and he felt himself shiver at his name on her tongue, “I need verbal consent before we begin.” 

He took a breath before speaking, doing his best to get the words out before falling hoarse once more, “Yes, Hermione, I would like to continue the workshop where we left off.”

She nodded once from where she sat near him on the couch, and paused just as she began to move, “Are there any boundaries you’d like to place? Of course we can stop at any time, but if there is anything you’d like to discuss beforehand?”

Draco knew if he thought about it for too long he would psych himself out, and he also trusted his ability to stop things should he grow uncomfortable. 

“No,” he said, “I will say something if I need to stop. Are you— is there anything you have a boundary with?”

She agreed with his decision, and he was silently glad that she shared his sentiment, that she wasn’t going to reject him before it even approached a gray zone. She stood, turning some music on a CD player that sat on the bookshelf, and adjusting the lighting to be a bit more dim. That helped, he thought, not feeling like he was under a spotlight.

When she returned she had him stand and they began breathing again. He listened to her words as she walked him through closing his eyes and clearing his mind. It wasn’t long before they were touching again, though much less intimate than before. Her hands clasped around his shoulders and his fell to her waist, Draco couldn’t help the way that images of the yule ball flashed before his eyes.

As they breathed and moved as one, she closed the distance. Her arms still hardly met behind his neck but she was leaning her head on his chest now. He wondered if his heart was hammering a steady rhythm in her ear. If she heard the way it quickened at her proximity. He could smell her hair from here, floral, but earthy. Her hips were rounded so nicely under his hands, and he hadn’t noticed that he brushed his palms slowly up and down her sides now, catching the faintest bit of skin where her shirt had ridden up. He felt as she placed a kiss over his heart and had to stop himself from pulling away. It wasn’t even that it bothered him, he was just feeling way more vulnerable than he had up until now. She ran a hand down over his shoulder, over his chest, and turned in his grasp. She still held one arm up and around his neck, but her other hand found his forearm. She moved her hand over his, where it still rested along her hip, and squeezed his hand into her body. It was more intentional than his touches had been, and he found himself engrossed in the way she felt. His other hand matched the grip, holding her hips firmly now. She rolled her ass back and up, into him, and he drew a sharp intake of air through his teeth at the contact. 

“Sorry,” she said, he didn’t miss the breathiness of her tone. 

She didn’t have anything to apologize for, really, this was all just new to him. He didn’t respond verbally, but he didn’t let go of his grip on her hips, either. He offered a gentle squeeze and she relaxed in his hold again. 

They hadn’t even kissed, yet this was somehow the most sensual, intimate thing he’d ever done. He heard her whisper something but didn’t catch it, so he leaned his ear towards her. 

“You’re doing really well,” she whispered in his ear. He liked the way her breath tickled against his skin.

“Why are we whispering,” he whispered back into her ear.

He thought she was going to answer when he craned his neck her way once more, and he was caught off guard by the way she kissed his cheek near his ear. His skin felt hot, electrified under her lips. She paused a moment, as if to see if he felt wary, and then sucked his earlobe into her mouth. Her tongue swirled gently and he bucked his hips into her, he hadn’t meant to do it but he did and he couldn’t take it back. He felt panic rising in him that he’d taken it too far but she dropped his earlobe in surprise and let out a breathy moan as she ground into him once more, his fully erect member slotted against her body. 

“Fuck,” he ground out in a low voice. He wasn’t sure when his hands had moved, but his left hand now pressed firmly against her stomach, holding them tightly together. His right hand still held her hip where he gently massaged her soft curves. 

He wasn’t prepared for the way she combined several sensations at once, brushing her fingers that remained behind his head through his hair, pulling his ear back between her lips, squeezing her hand over his again, and rolling her hips into his. Everything at once felt like too much and not enough all at once, and he didn’t know how to reconcile his warring desires to kiss her back or run for the hills. 

His breathing had grown more rapid as he panicked, the devil on one shoulder telling him to do whatever he wanted and enjoy it, and the angel— or perhaps a second devil, telling him to leave now before it was too late. He must have frozen for just a moment too long because he felt as she pulled free of his grasp. She didn’t drop their contact entirely which he was greatly appreciative of. Hermione turned to face him and caught his eye, and she smiled a genuine smile that had the corners of his lips curving upward as well. 

“Draco, you did so wonderfully. I know that it can feel like a lot to have multiple sensations triggered at once, especially the more intimate ones. But you leaned in to the exercise in a way that was so refreshing to be a part of. How are you feeling,” she asked him. 

How was he feeling? That was a question that seemed to be asked more and more frequently, but he found that each time he confronted it, his answer came a bit easier. 

“I feel good. I mean, horny, sure. No use lying about that one. But I feel like I have made so much progress in my time here and I am proud of that.” His voice fell off at the last few words. Draco wasn’t often proud of himself, and he was even less likely to admit it. He began his approach to her question with humor but found the truth came out with little work on his part, and that was a different kind of vulnerability for him. 

“Me too,” she said with a giggle. He thought she was giggling about being proud of him, but realized from the way she was breathing deeply, her eyes still dark, the way he thought she was clenching her thighs together now even as they spoke. She was horny too. 

They ended the session there. He wasn’t ready for more than what they’d done just then, and he also got the sneaking sensation that she wasn’t too keen on having awkward chit chat while they both had only one thing on their minds. 

Hermione did let him know there wouldn’t be another workshop that night, and that dinner would be catered to their bungalows. He headed straight there, not in the mood for chit chat just yet.

~

When Draco returned to his bungalow he wanted nothing more than a long shower, but the tightness in his pants reminded him once again that he was no better than any other young man. That was one of the hardest things for him to come to terms with, the innate nature of human arousal and satisfaction. He’d never really experienced such a prolonged period of continuous arousal, though he supposed that was part of this whole journey.

Draco began towards the toilet to take care of himself, but was arrested in motion as an idea came to light. Everyone had already seen him naked. Hell, Hermione had even watched him wank before. He hadn’t even thought about the cameras then, either. But now, he knew without a doubt that she was aroused. He was fairly positive she was watching his feed right now. And the part of him that held on to the idea that she was there to watch him squirm wanted to prove just how much he was embracing his therapy. 

Draco shucked off his clothes and headed straight to his shower, taking a mental note of where the cameras were. He was already sprung to full attention so it wouldn’t take long for her to notice him. He began pumping himself at a leisurely pace, trying not to look too directly at the cameras, lest she catch on to his little game. The last time he’d wanked he was pretty sure he was turned mostly away from the camera, so it isn’t like she’d have seen too much. This time, though, he made sure he was visible. Draco had never really gotten the allure of male genitalia, but he knew enough to know he was considered well endowed. His large hand just barely wrapped around him, and he wasn’t lacking in length either. He pumped his fist a bit harder as he thought back over the day he’d had. Hermione, suckling his ear. Grinding against him. The feeling of her soft hips, her body tucked neatly against his own. He was transported back to his fantasy, the one in the library. This time though, they picked up where he last left off. Her skirt flipped up over her bare ass, his fingers deep inside of her, thrusting in and out, in and out. The way she moaned, begged for him, He imagined himself notching his cock at her entrance and pushing in. Slowly at first, allowing her time to adjust to his size. But then she would do something intentionally bratty. Squirm against him, looking for more contact. He imagined the way he would abandon his earlier consideration, thrusting fully into her. The way she would gasp and then ask for more. More please more. And so he fucked her, frantic, full of the need he’d allowed to build inside him. Draco felt his balls tighten as he circled his palm over his swollen head, and with one final pump of his fist, he spilled himself all over the shower floor. When he opened his eyes again he felt satisfied that, just as he had hoped, he remained in view of the camera the whole time. 

Draco was met with a sensation of gratification mixed with anxiety. Sure, he had jerked off for himself, released his own pent up energy. But he knew that no matter how much of that had been for him, an equal— if not greater portion, had been for her. 

Chapter 15: Day 8

Chapter Text

Draco went to bed feeling guilty and woke up feeling guiltier about his actions. Certainly it could be considered sexual assault somewhere, the way he intentionally exposed himself like that. He wondered if any other participants had gotten busy themselves during the last week but he was fairly certain that nobody else had stooped so low. He dragged his feet as he got ready for the day, and had to force himself to walk to breakfast, unsure of what lie ahead. 

Spirits at breakfast were relatively the same as any other day, but there was somewhat of an energy shift after the sessions the day before. He supposed as they’d reached the halfway point, people would be growing deeper in their connections to the therapists, that was the intention after all. He thought again about how they each had a primary therapist at this stage and wondered how that worked, if not everyone was a surrogate. He decided it was best not to think too hard on it, the idea of his fellow virgins getting it on with their therapists wasn’t too appealing to him. The idea of surrogates, of course, brought his attention back to Hermione. 

~

Vera pulled them all to the workshop not long after Draco finished his toast and tea that morning, and explained that the workshop that day would be all about anatomy. Great, just what Draco wanted. A school lesson. 

She explained that in order to properly connect with a partner, it was important to understand their bodies. The women were split off from the men, who were left sitting in their usual spot. A plush bench sat facing them and an easel stood off to the side. Once the women had disappeared from sight, Vera continued on.

“We will have a brief overview of the female anatomy via diagram, followed by a live visualization. If anyone is not comfortable, please feel free to step out now, or at any point you wish not to continue,” she said in a serious tone. 

Draco was shocked that nobody left the room.

Vera brought out a large diagram of an illustrated vagina, with different lines and labels spewed across it. She asked them different questions about the anatomy itself as well as where stimulation is felt the most. She invited the men to take a turn getting a closer look at the diagram and then opened the room for any questions. They all stayed remarkably silent, and then Vera stood from the bench.

“Wonderful,” she started, “you all are doing so well. We will now move on to the actual live anatomy of a woman. One of our surrogates has agreed to assist in this today under the stipulation that you all remain seated as she will be in a vulnerable state. I will once again say that anyone who would like to leave is welcome to do so now.” 

Draco thought back to that look on Hermione's face those few days ago when he had asked if Michael had done something to her. He thought it was only right that the surrogate today establish any rules they needed.

Though Hermione passed through his mind, the fact that she might be the surrogate for the demonstration hadn’t even crossed his mind. Not until she was crossing the room in nothing but a silken robe.

Vera welcomed her warmly and Hermione stood in front of the bench at first. She only spoke briefly, “Hello gentlemen, while we will primarily be focused on the anatomy of a vagina I would also like to share some other erogenous zones if that would be okay?” 

Most of the men nodded but Draco knew her well enough by now hay she would seek verbal consent. He waited a moment before speaking a quiet yet steady “yes” and was quickly met by several others verbally agreeing. 

“Thank you,” Hermione said, and he didn’t miss the way her eyes locked on him. 

It wasn’t until her hands fell to the tie at her waist that he realized he was about to see Hermione Granger, in the nude. He could feel his heart begin to thrum at the idea, and his hands grew clammy. Was he nervous? Or was this what excitement and anticipation felt like when aroused by a woman? He’d seen naked witches before, he wasn’t too shy to that part. It was just the fact that it was her. 

Hermione pulled the tie free from her robe and dropped it before following suit with her robe itself, shrugging it down her shoulders.

No matter how many times Draco had imagined what she might look like under all her stuffy robes, no amount of mental imagery could do her justice. Her skin was an expanse of warm, sun tanned skin. Her freckles still fought to be seen and he noticed she had tan lines where he imagined her bikini fell. His eyes fell to her breasts, not overly full, but still perky, with small, warm pink nipples at the center. Still a good handful if he ventured a guess. His eyes fell lower, over her stomach. To the round of her hips, the round he had been touching just the day prior. He skimmed down her legs, and then back up, up until he reached their apex. Her pubes were tidy but still long enough he could tell they curled just as the hair on her head. 

Draco felt himself snap free of the trance he had been under and flicked his eyes back to her. He only realized his mistake when he caught her staring directly back at him, the slightest quirk to one brow that would be imperceptible to others. He knew that look from their years of rivalry, knew it only meant one thing. Game on.

He shifted his gaze to the others and saw they were all still taking her body in with rapt attention. All aside from Trey, that is. He was looking off to the side. 

“Great,” Hermione started, now that you’ve all adjusted to my presence, we can begin. 

Hermione walked through showing them different erogenous zones, different ways to touch them. She touched herself at the back of the ear, the crook of her arm, her waist. Her hands skimmed up to her breasts and over her nipples, which pebbled fully as she trailed her hands away. She grazed her fingers across her neck, and then moved down to her hips, trailed down her inner thigh, the back of her knee. She explained that for some people, even the feet can be incredibly sensual. 

After her brief explanation, she explained that she would move on to the anatomy of a vagina. She sat at the bench and propped her feet up to either side of her with impressing dexterity. Draco felt his mouth go dry as he assessed her newly exposed state. 

He was certain she was going back over the proper names of things and explaining the ways in which they can be stimulated, but his ears were filled with a subtle roaring as he watched the way her fingers brushed against herself. The slight way she shuddered at her own touch. The way he could see her grow slickened as she continued on her talk. When he finally dragged his eyes away from what he thought must be the most perfect vagina out there, he looked to her face. He felt himself falter a little as her expression only deepened in the ‘I will win this battle’ way. His walls built up at a surprising speed as he felt that familiar flood of embarrassment wash towards him. Sure, he may have made things a game last night. But she was continuing it now, in a much more public way. She enjoyed toying with him, making him the fool. Draco went cold.