Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As soon as Kris wakes up, he knows this is not going to be a good day. His back is on fire, and his shoulders hurt like hell. But, as his snoozed alarm reminds him, the school system does not care about that in the slightest.
He spends the next 20 minutes slowly stretching out his sore muscles. After he quickly washes his face, he slowly starts putting on his outfit for the day. He is interrupted by his dog Lena coming into the room. He gives her a quick hug and finishes dressing up. He walks down the stairs and has breakfast, making sure that Lena has breakfast too.

Faster than he would have liked, his phone alarm reminds him it's time to take the bus to school. Luckily, the bus stop isn’t very far away, but Kris decides to grab his cane anyway, since he will have to do some walking at school. He puts the “working - do not pet” vest on Lena, and together they leave the house.

~~~

His first class of the day is mathematics, not his favourite subject, but at least the teacher is nice. They always let Kris into their classroom early, so he can get his usual seat and rest from the walk over to the classroom.
Once he is sitting down next to the window with Lena safely by his side, his teacher comes up to him. “I’m sorry for not giving you an earlier warning, but a new student is joining our class today. They follow pretty much the same classes as you do, and they need to use the lift too. Would you mind showing them around the building today? Oh, and could they sit next to you?” Kris considers it for a second. He usually works on his own, since his other friends don’t have the same classes on Monday, but the semester has only just started, so he doesn’t really have much work to do.

“Sure, I think that’s fine”, he decides.

A few minutes later, the rest of the class comes into the room. With them comes the so-called “new kid” who looks incredibly cool. They have long black hair which partially covers their face– oh my god, they’ve got a nose piercing– and they’re wearing a mostly black outfit. They’re in a wheelchair, which explains why they need to use the lift, and they’ve got their bag on their lap. The teacher points them in Kris’ direction. The teacher walks with them and moves the chair that was next to Kris over to the back of the classroom.

“Kris, this is Jan, they’re new here. Jan, this is Kris, he’ll be showing you around today.”

Jan nods at Kris and pulls out their notebook, before putting their bag down on the floor. “Hi, I hope you’re not allergic to dogs?” Kris starts. Jan looks at him and, sounding confused, says: “Hello. Why are dogs relevant?” Kris snorts and points at Lena, who’s still lying on the floor. “Ah, I see, no, I’m not allergic”, Jan says. “Anyway, just to get it out of the way: yes, I’m in a wheelchair, yes, I’m young, no, I’m not faking it, and no, I am not paralysed, I can walk sometimes, just not now”, Jan rants. Kris nods, “Seems like you get about the same comments I get.” Jan raises their eyebrows questioningly.

“Oh, I have chronic pain in my back, and my legs hate me. So I use a cane on most days, though I do sometimes use a wheelchair too. Most people tell me shit like: “You’re way too young for that”” Kris explains. Jan smiles at him and is about to respond when the teacher starts the lesson.

~~~

The rest of the day, Jan follows Kris around, resembling Lena when she was still a puppy. At lunchtime, Kris introduces Jan to his friends, “Guys, meet Jan, they’re new here, I’m showing them around today.” Bojan smiles brightly at Jan, “Hi, I’m Bojan, and this is Martin. We both use he/him pronouns, what about you?” Jan smiles, clearly surprised that Bojan included their pronouns in his introduction. “I’m Jan, I use they/them pronouns, though I’m not completely sure yet.” Martin nods, “That’s fine, let us know if anything changes, okay?”

Chapter Text

“Do you want to come over to my house later?“ Kris asks Jan, a couple weeks after they’d first met. “Uhh maybe? You normally take the bus home, right?” Kris nods affirmatively.
“I’m not sure my body can handle the rest of the day plus the way back, the time at your house and the way back…” Jan continues.

He thinks about it for a second. He would like to go over to Kris’ house, he’d enjoy spending some more time with Kris, and apparently, his dad has a bunch of guitars, and Kris has a huge vinyl collection, which he promised to show Jan sometime.

“My mom could probably pick us up and drop you off at home later. Where did you live again?” Kris questions. “I live all the way over in Vrhnika”, Jan sighs. “There weren’t any good wheelchair accessible schools over there, so now I have to take the bus, which takes an hour.” “Wow. I get why you always look so tired in the mornings!” Kris exclaims. “I’ll ask my mom if she can pick us up later.”

Once school finishes, the two of them walk to Kris’ mom’s car. She is waiting for them with a bright smile on her face. “Hi Jan, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Kris’ mom, you can call me Chantal.” “It’s nice to meet you, too”, Jan says politely. “Hi to you too, mam”, Kris says, laughing. “Hoi, schatje”, she replies.

Kris gets into the car and sits in the back, scooting over to the far end, Lena following and sitting down on the floor next to him. Jan gets in after them, and puts their cane down next to them. Kris carefully takes Lena’s vest off. As soon as it is, Lena jumps up onto the seats, and lays down, booping her nose into Jan’s leg, before laying her head on his lap. Jan realises that that’s her signal that they is anxious and needs to calm down.

Kris shoots Jan a knowing look but doesn’t comment on it. Jan slowly pets Lena, and they have to admit that she’s doing a great job calming them down. They’re always a little nervous going to new places, and it doesn’t help that they don’t have their chair with them, meaning they just have to hope that their body is on their side today.

It’s not a very far drive, about 20 minutes, but by bus it probably would have taken close to an hour, since the bus doesn’t exactly take the best route.
Once they arrive to the house, Kris asks: “Are you feeling up for walking? If you need it, we could also grab my chair.” Jan moves their legs around a bit and don’t feel too much pain, so they shake their head, “I think it’ll be fine.” Kris’ gets out of his side of the car, Lena jumping out first and letting him lean on her. Chantal walks over to Jan’s side in case they needs help, but they assure her that they’ll be fine.

When they enter the kitchen, the following things happen: Jan sees who’s sitting at dining table, steps back, stumbles over the threshold, and Chantal jumps forward to hold them upright. Needless to say, Jan is quite embarrassed. They just fell over, in front of Gušti!

They’re shaken from their thoughts when the man in question starts speaking: “Hey, are you okay?” Jan scrambles to get up, leaning on their cane, Chantal helping them to properly get back on their own feet. Kris is laughing in the corner of the room and Jan gives him a pointed look. They realise they haven’t actually answered the question. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine”, they answer shakily. “Why don’t you two go upstairs, do you want some tea?” Chantal asks them.

Jan shakes their head. “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get up the stairs…” “Oh, don’t worry, we have a chairlift. I can’t get up the stairs by myself, like half the time.”

The ride up the stairs goes smoothly and Kris walks up the stairs after them, with Lena by his side.

Kris’ room is quite big, with a bed in one corner and a desk in the other. The wooden floor is covered by a small rug which has been shoved under Kris’ bed for the most part. Kris catches him looking at it and explains, “I usually have that rug next to my bed, but I moved it over yesterday ‘cause I was using my chair and needed to transfer into my bed.” Jan nods, “I used to have carpet in my old room, but it was a nightmare to deal with when I used my chair.”

Jan sits down on the bed and Kris asks whether they want to listen to some music. “Yes, but not before you tell me why you didn’t think to tell me your dad was in Big Foot Mama?!” Jan replies, shaking his head. “I’ll be honest, I genuinely forgot that you didn’t know… sorry about that.” Kris says apologetically. “It’s fine”, Jan laughs. “Now, that music you were talking about?”

They listen to the various vinyls Kris has bought over the years. Most notably, they realise they both love Arctic Monkeys and Siddharta. “You know, I got hyperfixated on Big Foot Mama once. It was the worst”, Kris admits. “At least my dad thought it was funny.”

They end up laying on Kris’ bed together listening to the Beatles’ Abbey Road together. As the record plays, Jan thinks back to the day they met. They had been so nervous going to a new school for the first time, but they couldn’t stay at their old school. It didn’t have any accessibility for them, meaning they had to walk up and down the stairs, and the doors weren’t wide enough for their chair to fit through, meaning they couldn’t really use their wheelchair, even if they did only have classes on the first floor.

They had visited the school in Ljubljana before signing up, and the teachers seemed nice, but they were worried about the other students. They’d had some looks on the long bus ride over to Ljubljana, as well as when they were coming into the school. Not to even mention the looks they got when they decided to stretch their legs and hips before class. But then, when they entered the class and were introduced to Kris, they instantly felt welcomed. They talked to Kris throughout the day and Kris introduced them to the people they now call their best friends.

They’re shaken from their thoughts when Kris softly sings along to ‘Here Comes The Sun’, it sounds beautiful, and Jan takes a moment to refocus on their surroundings. They realise how close Kris is, they could just reach over and touch his hand. As the song plays on and Kris continues singing, Jan makes up their mind and when the final chorus starts, they move their hand over to hold Kris’ hand.

Kris stops singing for a second, surprised, but continues on after Jan squeezes his hand. Once the song ends, Jan whispers, “You can sing really well”. Kris squeezes his hand back and replies, “thank you”.

Chapter Text

In the months after Kris introduces Jan to them for the first time, they all grow closer and closer. Upon finding out that Jan also loves to play guitar, they invite them to join the band, and they start practising after school on most days. They also learn that they had been doing archery since they were 7, and they were pretty okay at it. They even had an archery range at home!

As they get to know each other better, Kris starts questioning some things about himself too. He’s always been taught to respect everyone, including queer people, and his parents taught him a decent amount about different queer identities, but now he’s starting to realise that he has a serious crush on Jan and, honestly, it’s scary.

He figures he should probably talk to someone about this, but he’s not sure who. He definitely wasn’t going to his parents with this, and he can’t exactly talk about this with Jan. He decides Bojan would probably be able to keep his secret.

Two days later, after school, he’s sat in Bojan’s room trying to find the courage to tell him. He knows Bojan won’t judge him, but, can he really be sure? He wakes from his thoughts and realises Bojan has silently been staring at him for the last while.

“Are you okay?” Bojan asks, his voice gentle. Kris nods, “Yeah, I… I just wanted to talk to you about something…” “Is this about Jan? You can tell me anything, I won’t think differently about either of you”, Bojan reassures him. “Yeah, I… I think I have a crush on them”, Kris admits. “Alright, that’s okay. How do you feel about that?” Kris considers how to phrase this and continues, “I guess I’m a little scared, I’ve only ever had crushes on girls before, but Jan definitely isn’t a girl— wait, do you think I see them as a girl?” Kris questions, worried.
Bojan smiles at him, “I honestly doubt it, you are probably just attracted to them for who they are, I mean, they are also incredibly good-looking.” Kris laughs, “Don’t steal them from me!” “I would never”, Bojan responds, clutching his chest, “How dare you suggest such a thing! Though, honestly, long hair, smart, well-dressed, kind, good at archery, I might have to reconsider.”

They both laugh, before Kris falls silent, lost in thought.

“Hey, did I say something wrong?” Bojan asks, nudging Kris’ leg, as Lena walks over from her spot on Bojan’s rug. Kris idly pets her as he thinks about what to say. “No, I’m fine, I was thinking about Jan… You know, I recently talked to them about how they realised they didn’t like he/him pronouns…” his voice trails off. Lena jumps up on the bed and lays on his lap.

“I might want to use different pronouns too, but I’m really not sure. Sometimes he/him is fine, other times I hate it.” Kris stops, realising he said more than he meant to, but before he can think about it too much, Bojan sits next to him on the bed and gently grabs the hand he wasn’t petting Lena with. “That’s okay, I won’t judge you for that. Why don’t you let me know when you don’t want me to use he/him for you? Then I can use other pronouns too. Do you think you’d want to use a different name?”

Kris shakes his head, “I… I don’t think so?, Kris says carefully and leans into Bojan, and Bojan pulls him into a hug. Noticing that Kris is shaking, he soothes Kris, reassuring him that he won’t think differently about him now that Kris has told him.

After a couple of minutes in silence, Bojan suggests he could play some of the songs he’s been writing to Kris. Kris gladly takes the suggestion and the duo spend the rest of the afternoon working on some songs.

~~~

The next day at school, Kris asks whether Jan wants to come to his home again. “I would like to, but I have training today, so I would have to leave quite quickly…” Jan answers. “Could we maybe go to your house, we could hang out for a bit and then go to training? I would love to come to the training with you…Of course I don’t want to force you, we could also hang out another time?” Kris suggests.

Jan thinks about it, “You could come with me, but you would have to take the bus to Vrhnika with me.” Kris nods, “That’s fine by me.”

They spend about thirty minutes at Jan’s home before they take the bus over towards the archery range. Both of them are in their wheelchairs, Jan having slung his archery backpack over the back of their chair. The bus stops about 5 minutes away from the range.

Upon arrival, Kris is surprised at how accessible the place is. The table at which Jan assembles their bow is set at such a height that they can easily roll under it, and the other archers leave more than enough space for Jan to get around the place. Seeing his astonishment, Jan comments, “You know, they even made a special quiver for me to put my arrows in, which can attach to my chair.”

Though Jan had been humble about their skills, at 18 meters, they hit the ten points pretty consistently. “We’re going outside for training next week, then we'll be back at 90 meters, that’ll be a bit more of a challenge for them,” their trainer explains, once Kris is back with Lena in the ‘viewing area’ of the range. “We’re hoping to get them to the youth Olympics next year.”

~~~

Later at Jan’s house, after Kris complains about how massively Jan underplayed their archery-ability, Kris finds an opening to talk about his earlier conversation with Bojan.

“I… I was thinking about this the other day, and… I think I might want to use other pronouns than just he/him sometimes, like, not always but on some days?”
Just like when he talked about this with Bojči, Lena notices his nerves and jumps up to run over to him. And, just like when he talked about this with Bojči, his conversation partner is perfectly fine with his announcement.

Jan makes their way over to Kris, laying a hand on his shaking leg. “Hey, it’s alright, love, I’ll accept you no matter what, okay?” Kris nods, wiping away tears he hadn’t realised were falling until he looked up at Jan.

“Do you know what pronouns you want to use already?” Jan says, softly. “I’m not sure yet…” Kris confesses. “That’s alright. Do you want to use he/him for now?” Kris nods, and Jan continues. “Good, let me know if you want to use different ones. Even if it changes every day, I won’t mind, okay? This shit takes a while to figure out.”

Chapter Text

Martin and Jan are waiting in front of the shop when he arrives, making Kris feel a little guilty over not showing up earlier. His bus had been delayed by a few minutes, and the bus driver didn’t know how the wheelchair ramp worked, so it got delayed by even more, leading Kris to be about 20 minutes late.

After hugging both of his friends, they entered the store. Kris did bring his cane, so he can navigate a little easier if the store is not as accessible as he’s hoping. He’s still not super confident in his wheelchair skills, since he only got his current chair about three months ago, and he has been able to use his cane on most days. He also brought some sunglasses and headphones with noise-cancelling with him in case he gets overstimulated, but he is hoping not to have to use them.

Jan confidently makes their way around the store. They had suggested going to this shop. It is one of their favourite shops in the city centre, because it doesn’t separate the clothes into a women‘s and a men’s section, and it is pretty accessible.

Kris follows behind Jan, with Martin helping to push him around corners whenever needed. Kris could do it by himself, but it does cost a lot more energy that way.
Jan leads them to the shirts first and points Kris to a shirt with a leaf design in the centre. Kris agrees that it looks great and picks it up.

They continue over to a section of darker clothing, where Jan picks up a black and grey plaid jacket, before deciding they don’t like it enough to buy it, since they have a similar jacket already. Kris points out another piece with a similar pattern in red, but realises that it's actually a skirt. When he tells Jan that, they just laugh and have a look anyway.

”Ooh, it’s really pretty”, Jan says, picking up the skirt. They casually bring it with them and continue their shopping. Kris stays behind for a second, somewhat stunned. He had never considered that Jan, who normally dresses so masculine, like Kris, could wear something feminine.

Kris realises Jan has already continued to the next section of the shop, and hurries to follow them. Martin trails behind Kris, very aware of what just happened in Kris’ brain.

The rest of their shopping continues like that. Jan leads them around the store, picking up anything they like, abandoning any pieces where the fabric is too scratchy or weird. They point out a couple of things for Kris and Martin, who both end up with quite a couple things too.
Kris even ends up accepting a pink sweater, which he does debate for a while, but Martin convinces him to get it: “It would look great on you, and if you end up not liking it, I’m sure Bojan would happily 'borrow' it.” Kris laughs at that, and they go to pay. The worker scanning their items doesn’t even react to the, by now, multiple skirts or the sweater, which does relieve Kris a little.

Upon leaving the store, Jan suggests they go to the nearby music store to pick up some new strings for their guitar. The way over to the store is bumpy, over the classic cobbles in the city centre, which is not ideal for wheelchairs, but they manage. They also visit the nearby art store, so Kris can pick up some new yarn to crochet with.

Crochet became a bit of a hobby on bad pain days, when it’s hard to get out of bed. He found he enjoyed it enough to start doing elaborate projects, even when he was able to get around the house or to school, and now it’s one of his favourite things to do.

~

Once they all return home, Kris thinks back to that afternoon. He realised quite early into the shopping how much more confident Jan is in their chair. They hadn’t had a lot of days where they were both in their chairs, except for that day they went to the archery range, and Kris had been too busy admiring Jan to realise it then. Jan was able to flawlessly get around, even on the cobbled streets where Kris was struggling. He decides he will ask Jan for lessons someday.

Chapter Text

They meet up in a small cafe to discuss the details.
“So, you’re leaving the band, huh?” Nace starts the conversation. “Why?”, he continues, “You are really close with all of them, right?” Martin nods, “Believe me, I am still doubting myself, wondering whether this is the best decision.” Nace nods, “I can imagine”, he agrees.

“I realised I want to focus on my studies. I don’t think I am as serious about the band as they are. They need someone who can dedicate the next however-many years to this. Someone who actually wants to tour the world with them, without worrying about work,” Martin explains.

Nace agrees before questioning, “Why me, though? I’m not sure if I am the right fit, I am quite a bit older than you all…” Martin sets down his coffee and looks up at Nace. “I decided you would be the best fit, because you are incredibly passionate and incredibly kind. I don’t believe that the age difference will truly matter. You’re only a couple of years older than Jure.” He takes a bite of his cherry pie, before continuing, “And besides, I’m sure Kris would appreciate a bit of a calmer voice of reason to help her. He’s usually the one planning gigs, ordering merch and scheduling interviews, since we don’t have a manager. I believe you have enough experience to help them with that?”

Nace nods, “I think I do.” After a moment of silence, Nace can’t help but wonder about what Martin just said, “Actually, if you don’t mind me asking, you used different pronouns for Kris, what do they prefer?” Martin smiles, “They use any pronouns at the moment, but, they are not publicly out, so when talking to anyone outside the band, just use he/him. They gave me permission to tell you. I hope you don’t have a problem with them?”

Nace quickly shakes his head, “Absolutely not, I will keep that in mind. Anything else I should know about them?”

Martin thinks for a second. “You’ve probably seen that both Jan and Kris use mobility aids. They’ll tell you more about that when they deem it necessary. Kris also has a service dog, so I hope you’re not allergic. The general rule for that is just not to interact with the dog while she’s working. She usually doesn’t join them on stage, but she will be there during rehearsals.”

“And, if you’re up for taking over my dad-role while I’m out of the country,” Martin pauses, and Nace nods for him to continue. “I’ll give you some general information about all of them.”

“Bojan is generally quite anxious; he’s got anxiety and needs some reassurance sometimes. The same goes for Jan, though Jan tends to try and hide it. They tend to just zone out when everything gets too overwhelming. Usually, Kris’ service dog Lena will notice before anyone else does, so if she randomly runs up to Jan, that's why. Jan uses a wheelchair about half of the time, but when using a wheelchair, they do need to stretch their legs every once in a while, which they tend to forget about. Jan was diagnosed with autism when they were like 5, so they know how to handle that,” Martin rants.

“I assume that Jan uses they/them pronouns?” Nace asks curiously. When Martin nods, Nace writes it down in the notebook he brought with him. He’s making notes on everything Martin says, since it’s quite a lot of information. To Martin, it only confirms his thoughts: Nace really does want to do the best he can to take care of his friends.

Martin continues his introductions. “Kris also has autism, but they were only diagnosed a couple of years ago, and he tends to forget that he has tools to deal with overstimulation. She usually silently battles through it, instead of asking for help or using tools, but Lena reminds them. Once Lena knows that you’re Kris’ friend, she might come to you. If she does, and immediately walks away, she wants you to follow her. If she stays with you, it’s either because she wants to play, which is when she isn’t working, but most of the time she’ll stay with you because she believes you need help.”

Nace laughs at that. “I assume it’s mostly when she realises you’re anxious?” Martin nods, “Yes, well, actually, she does also tend to pick up stuff that you’ve dropped. She was trained to do that for Kris, but she decided to do it for anyone she trusts.”

They both laugh, and Nace asks, “And what about Jure?” Martin smiles, “Jure is, as I mentioned, the oldest besides you. He is the personification of an orange cat. To someone who doesn’t know him, he seems like he’s always happy and cheerful. He isn’t.” Martin says, gently. “All I ask is that you check up on him. Ask how he’s truly doing, message or call him if you haven’t seen him in a while. He, just like the rest honestly, doesn’t like to ask for help. He only joined the group last year, and I think he likes to pretend that he doesn’t feel a little left out sometimes. We all try our best to make him feel included, but he tends to hole up at home, so just, try to check up on him.”

Nace finishes his notes, underlines the last line and looks up at Martin. Nace puts his hand on top of Martin’s. “I promise you, I will take care of them.”

”And, I am not replacing you. You will always have a place in this band.”

”Thank you”, Martin says, genuinely.

“Now that you’ve told me everything about the band, shall I tell you some more about me to relay to them?” Nace asks, smiling. Martin nods, and Nace starts.

”I’ve been making music for as long as I can remember. I used to play guitar, but I switched to bass when I was about twelve. I do still play guitar pretty regularly. I played on a cruise over the Baltic sea for a year instead of finishing college. School was always a struggle. For a while, everything was too easy, so I ended up doing nothing, and then, in classic ’gifted kid’ fashion, everything became way too hard because I had no clue how to study at all. And then there were a lot of kids who bullied me, so I quit. And now, as you know, I just quit playing for Diamanti”, Nace finishes his introduction with a smile. “And now we’re here.”

Martin thinks for a second before asking one last question. “Just so we know, do you have a partner whom we should know about?” Nace smiles and shakes his head. “No, I don’t. I’m not really looking for a partner right now either.” Martin nods, but after a couple of seconds Nace continues, speaking slowly and softly. “I… recently sort of figured out that I’m… probably queer, at least asexual. It’s all been a bit confusing.”

This time it’s Martin’s turn to comfort Nace. He squeezes Nace’s hand, “I remember back when Jan was figuring out his identity and sexuality. It took him a while, and Kris is still figuring it out to this day. It’s okay not to know everything yet, though I can imagine it’s difficult having these realisations if you felt you knew everything already.” After a few seconds in silence, Martin continues:

“Just know, if you let them, the band will be with you every step of the way.”

Chapter Text

“Alright, folks, that was great. Let’s take a break for a second”, Bojan announces, as he puts down his guitar. “Kris, shall we go get some lunch?” Bojan suggests. Jan joins them, which leaves Nace and Jure.

They move upstairs, and Nace remembers what Martin told him a couple weeks before. “What was it like for you when you join the band?” Nace asks him, once they’re both sat down on the couch.

Jure thinks about that for a second. They had all been incredibly welcoming, but it still felt like he was intruding on the friendgroup. He told Nace that, and Nace nods in response. “I can imagine, especially since they’d been together for years already before that, right?”

”Yeah, and like, the whole band was, maybe is, like one unit. They all knew exactly what to do and how to help each other no matter what’s happening. Music-wise they were already pretty high level and while I could tell they were all very talented, they were definitely not on my, or their current, level yet, so that wasn’t an issue at all, but friendship-wise it was hard.” Jure explains.

“I feel like you fit in pretty well now, though” Nace comments.

Jure fell silent for a while. It was true, especially since when Martin left there was a sort-of common grief throughout the band. Even though the band tried to include him as much as they could, it still felt a little weird for a long time.

”Yeah, I guess I do,” he ends up responding, so quietly that it was practically a whisper.

Nace lays a comforting hand on Jure’s shoulder. ”You belong here as much as all of them.”

Nace lets go of his shoulder to have a sip of his coffee, and they sit in silence for a couple of minutes before Bojan, Kris and Jan return with lunch.

~~~

A couple days later Nace and Jure have some time alone again, when Jure decides he’ll pack up their stuff for the gig the next day, and Nace ends up staying after practice to join him. Nace brings him some cookies, “These aren’t gluten free, are they?” Jure asks him, realising Nace brought these solely for him. “Yeah”, Nace responds, “I know how hard you’ve been working today to get everything ready. I just wanted to thank you for it.”

That’s… surprisingly nice, Jure has to admit. “I… thank you” he stammers. Nace smiles and they continue doing their respective tasks.

Jure feels the need to justify himself, and after a couple minutes of internal debate he does.

”You know, I’ve always felt like I need to prove myself to the band. To prove that I’m worthy of being in the band.” Jure explains.

“My parent taught me that I guess… Though growing up in a rural town and realising you’re trans does not help in that regard...” Jure says, trailing off at the end of his sentence.

Nace smiles at him comfortingly, “Huh, I didn’t now you’re trans?”
Jure nods shakily,”I didn’t expect you to, I transitioned ten years ago. The rest of band doesn’t even know”, he explains. Nace looks at him questioningly, “Why didn’t you tell them? They’d accept and respect you, right?” Jure sets down the box he was holding suddenly.

”Why would I tell them?”

”Well…” Nace starts, “Of course you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to, but, well… you just told me that your experiences growing up still affect you, right? Maybe it would be nice to talk to someone about it.” Nace says, walking up to Jure.

“I… I guess I could.” Jure says, and Nace can tell this topic really affects Jure still, and he gently asks him if Jure wants a hug, to which Jure nods. Nace opens his arms and Jure gratefully falls into them. “I think that’s enough packing for now”, Nace says, drawing small circles on Jure’s back.

“Why don’t we go home? You can come back to mine if you want, it’s already quite late.” Nace suggests, knowing he lives a lot closer to the rehearsal space than Jure does. Jure nods silently.

~~~

Only half an hour later they arrive at Nace’s cozy apartment. Jure suggests he’ll sleep on the couch, but Nace shakes his head, “I’ll take the bed if you’d prefer to sleep separately, but, honestly, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to share my bed?— I mean, you don’t have to, I wouldn’t blame you and—“ “Nace. It’s okay, we can do that”, Jure interrupts him. Nace nods, “Okay… uhh— Do you want some clothes to wear?”

Once they’ve both changed into pyjamas they go to bed.

“Nace, thank you for all you’ve done since you joined the band”, Jure started, “You’ve been so nice, so helpful, always making sure everyone is happy and safe.”

Nace is glad they’re laying in the dark, so Jure can’t see him blushing. “I… thank you” he mumbles, quietly.

They lay in silence for a couple minutes before Jure slowly moves towards Nace, “this okay?” he whispers. Nace whispers “yeah” back, and Jure rests his head on Nace’s chest. Nace tenses up for a second before relaxing and wrapping an arm around Jure.

Chapter Text

Nace is starting to get to know the band better and better every day. Though there is one thing Nace still doesn’t understand.

”Are Jan and Kris actually together?” Nace whispers to Jure, seeing Jan and Kris cuddled up on the couch for the fourth time that week. Jure laughs softly, “No, they’re both too oblivious for that.”

Nace only realises weeks later how true that statement was. Jan and Kris are practically attached at the hip. It makes sense, since the two have known each other for so long and they have so much in common. I mean, Lena is practically Jan’s service dog too at this point.

Strangely enough, Nace notices that he seems to actually feel jealous of them. Though he can’t pin down which of the two he’s jealous of. He decides it’s probably just him being touch-starved, but even that explanation doesn’t make a lot of sense really. But that would explain why he liked that night with Jure so much.

~~~

A couple of days later Nace is alone in his apartment. He’s just playing around a bit on his bass when his phone buzzes. Turns out it’s Jan messaging him if they can hang out. Nace messages an “of course” back, and sends over his address.

It takes Jan a little while to get over to Nace’s apartment. In that time, Nace cleans up the place a little, not that it was that messy, but there was still laundry that needed folding and sorting and some dirty dishes to clean. And truly, there is no better motivation than someone coming over if you need to get some cleaning done.

When Jan arrives, Nace quickly buzzes them in and unlocks the front door.

Some greetings and tea making later, they’re sat on the couch.

“So, was there any specific reason why you wanted to come over?” Nace asks Jan.

“Yeah, uh— I… I wasn’t feeling very good this morning”, Jan explains. “I would have messaged someone else, I didn’t want to bother you, but I knew that the rest was busy and you said I could message so I thought I would, though, if you don’t want me to you should just say—”

Nace interrupts Jan by laying a hand on their knee. “It’s alright, I meant it when I told you all that you can reach out. If I didn’t want you to come over I would have told you so”, he tells Jan. “Do you want to talk about why you were feeling bad earlier?”

Jan looks down at their hands. “I… I don’t know if you knew this already, but I tend to dissociate when everything becomes a bit too much. The last few days have been quite bad for me, seemingly for no reason my mental health has dipped a bit. It’s mostly my insomnia that gets quite bad if I don’t do enough during the day, and then the day after that I can’t do anything because I’m so tired. Then I’m just laying in bed the whole day, which makes my insomnia worse, which all causes my depression and dissociation to get worse”, they confess.

“I’m glad you decided to message me. Is there anything I could do to help you?” Nace questions, feeling a bit guilty for not realising how bad Jan had been doing for the past couple days.

Jan isn’t sure how to respond to that. Kris, Bojan, Jure and Martin had all asked them similar questions over the years, and every time Jan struggled to answer. For the longest time they didn’t really have anyone to help them, and they hid their problems from the world for a while when they finally did have someone. They knew that if people didn’t want to help they probably wouldn’t offer, but they still felt like a bit of a burden to their friends whenever they asked for help.

”I… I think physical touch might help, at least for the dissociation”, Jan suggests. Nace nods at that. “Would something like holding your hand or just putting a hand on your back or shoulder work?”

Jan agrees carefully, “I think so? It’s tricky. Sometimes dissociation pairs up with my anxiety, and then touch can be overwhelming. But in a state like that I’ll usually not be able to respond, so yeah… I don’t really know for sure.”

Jan’s explanation makes a lot of sense to Nace, though it is indeed tricky. He decides that he’ll do his best to figure all of this out.

”You could try it now, I feel like I’m still not completely here anyway” Jan decides.

Nace nods and gently takes a hold of Jan’s hand. He squeezes softly and Jan slowly leans into him. “Can I…?” Jan whispers but doesn’t finish their sentence. Nace understands them anyway. He wraps his arm around Jan and pulls them closer. They end up in a half-hug.

Jan is somewhat surprised at how willing they are to be this close to the new bassist. They started off hating the change of members in the band, and even before they met Nace they’d decided that they hated the man. And here they were now, only wanting more contact with Nace.

Realising they are zoning out, Nace taps a slow rhythm on the back of Jan’s hand. Sure enough, Jan does actually get pulled back to the present. “Sorry, I was just thinking about how well you fit into the band” Jan confesses. It’s not completely true, but Nace does not need to know the full extent of Jan’s personal appreciation of Nace.

Truth is, Jan has been in love with Kris for years now, and they’re pretty sure its reciprocated, but they aren’t sure whether Kris is ready for a relationship. Kris and Jan did have a conversation about a year ago where Jan explained they’re polyamorous, and upon hearing what that meant, Kris wondered why anyone would want a monogamous relationship.

This all has lead to Jan now having to accept that they like Nace a little bit too much to say it’s just him finding a caring friend. Nace has shown himself to be a very kind and thoughtful person, always making sure every single member of the band is comfortable and doing well. Especially the way Nace treats Kris makes Jan a bit fuzzy inside. He always makes sure that the youngest member of the band is alright. Jan remembers the last time Lena alerted Kris to take a break, Nace thought something was wrong and immediately rushed over to help her. Turned out that Kris didn’t really need any help, so they got a way with a pat on the head for Kris and a treat for Lena.

They really like Nace a bit too much. Oh well, Jan decides, what’s wrong with a little crush.

Though honestly, it couldn’t really be called a crush anymore.

Chapter Text

At the next band practice Jan shows up feeling a lot more well-rested. After their conversation with Nace the other day, they did actually sleep a lot better, but that could probably be attributed to the fact that it took them quite a lot of energy to get to Nace’s and back.

Kris shows up a little later than usual. He had hoped to walk over to the practice space, but his legs wouldn’t co-operate, and then it also started raining, and now he’s just upset. Lena is also drenched and decides to go complain to Bojan about that.

“Lena, sit” Kris commands her, trying to prevent her from dripping water all over the floor. “I’ll go get a towel”, Nace laughs. Once Lena (and Kris) are dried off, they start their practice.

It goes pretty well, Nace is already pretty adjusted to playing in the band and he picked up the songs really quickly. Nace is already at the point it took Jure a couple months to get to, which does make Jure feel a little weird. It probably helped that Martin helped Nace get accustomed to everything and teach him the songs, which Jure didn’t have when he joined.

After rehearsal, they spent some time planning their upcoming concerts. Mostly, who was going to do what in preparation for them.

“That venue is quite close to where I live”, Jure comments, “I’ll take the drums, and whatever else will fit in my car, with me the day before, then I can set that up already.”

”Wait, yeah, that’s only like 15 minutes away. Could I maybe stay at yours that night?” Jan asks him.

“The venue said we could already set up and look around the night before as well, since there’s no other gig that day. So you could have a look around and get settled as well”, Kris adds.

Jure nods, “Sounds good to me. Are we going to practice the day before as well? Or do you want to come over to mine?” he asks Jan.

Jan considers their options. They didn’t really want to drive to Logatec, and the public transport was not ideal either. “Could you pick me up?”

~~~

The concert arrives quickly. Jan is a bit annoyed at themself for not being able to move around freely, since they’re confined to their wheelchair today. Concerts are usually tiring already, meaning they’ll usually sit down every couple of songs, but they tend to enjoy it a bit more whenever they can move around a bit more. Then they can at least interact with the others without them having to come to Jan.

But alass, Jan is going to have to roll around again. Oh well. That’s tonights business.

Anyway, the day before Jan packed a backpack with some clothes, but they hadn’t decided on an outfit yet.

“Jure? Can you come here for a sec?” Jan calls out.

Jure comes over quickly, and Jan shows Jure their options.

”Ooh, I like that one”, Jure exclaims.

Jan makes his way to Jure. “Oh, yeah, I forgot I brought that”, Jan comments, “I’m not sure if I can wear that on stage.

“Why not?”

“Well, first of all, it’s a skirt, second, I think I might flash the audience, ‘cause I’ll be in the chair.”

“Hmm, you could try it, it seems long enough, and you can wear some shorts under it, that would solve that issue”, Jure suggests.

In the end, Jan decides to wear it regardless, but with some pretty long shorts underneath.

~~~

The band responded very positively to Jan’s outfit for the day. Kris and Bojan were mostly very surprised by the skirt, but they both went up to give Jan a quick hug. Afterwards Nace smiles at them and pulls them into a hug too.

When they go onstage for the soundcheck, a couple of the fans realise and cheer them on. Jan has to admit that they were a little scared to wear it, but it seems fine.

During the actual concert Jan doesn’t notice any actual reactions, though it can be a bit hard to tell the difference between people being excited about seeing the band and people excited about Jan’s outfit.

Luckily Jan is also able to interact with the rest of the band a decent amount, they can roll around the stage pretty smoothly, only having to dodge a couple of cables. The stage is also pretty small, which really helped since the rest of the band is never more than a couple of metres away.

All in all, the concert is a big success. Once they’ve packed up their stuff and are ready to go home, Jan and Nace go out to chat to some fans. The venue is surprisingly not wheelchair-friendly at all, meaning Jan has to get their chair down a couple of steps first, but Nace can luckily help Jan stand up to get around them.

The fans outside are very excited to see them both, but quickly form a pretty orderly line. The first person they talk to immediately comments on Jan’s outfit.

“I love your skirt”, they simply say to Jan. “Thank you, I wasn’t sure whether I would wear it but Jure convinced me”, Jan replies. “I’m glad you did, it means a lot, especially outside of Ljubljana the acceptance is not what it should be”, they tell Jan, as Nace walks up to them. Nace puts his arm around Jan, and Jan decides just to tell the fan. “You know, I’m actually non-binary. You can tell others if you want, I’ll come out officially soon enough.”

The fan looks absolutely gobsmacked: “Wow… uh— thank you for trusting me with that!”

They talk to a couple more fans after, most of whom comment on Jan’s outfit, all of them positively.

Afterwards, Jan carpools with Nace. They go back to Jan’s home, since it’s closer and a lot more wheelchair-friendly than Nace’s apartment.

”I think you made a lot of people, hopefully including yourself, very happy today”, Nace tells them, once they’re both comfortable in Jan’s bed.

”They seemed to be, and I’m definitely happy about it.”

Chapter Text

On a day in November, Jan and Kris hang out at Kris’ apartment. They’ve been chatting and playing some songs the whole afternoon when Jan suggests to go out to a restaurant the next day.

“Is it a date?”, Kris asks, half joking.

Jan looks at her for a second, trying to read her and failing. “Do you want it to be?”

Kris nods: “Actually… yeah.”

Grabbing Kris’ hand, Jan responds softly, “Then it’s a date. I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow evening.”

~~~

“Boki, I need you to come over tomorrow.”

“Wait, what? What’s going on?”

“Jan just asked me on a date! Tomorrow!”

“Wait, just like that! Out of nowhere?”

”Well, they asked me to go out for dinner and I hoped it was a date so I asked and they asked me and then I said yes and now it’s a date!”

~~~

The next day at precisely three o’clock Bojan arrives at Kris’ apartment.

Kris shows him the options she selected that morning, and they decide (after a lot of bickering) that Kris will wear quite formal trousers with a pale pink shirt, which she tucks in halfway.

Then comes the second discussion:

”Boki? I could put on some makeup…” Kris suggests, mind already racing about all the things Bojan (or Jan) will think of her, but Bojan interrupts her thoughts with a gentle nudge. “Kris, you back with me?“ Kris nods, and Bojan continues: “That sounds great! What options do you have?”

Kris shows Bojan some of the things she has. Bojan doesn’t know a lot about makeup at all, so Kris makes the decision alone. Bojan’s task here is mostly emotional support anyway.

She decides on matching pink lipstick with her shirt. When she‘s put her outfit on and turns around, Bojan stares at her for a good 10 seconds, eyes wide, not responding. In the end he only stammers out a “Holy shit” and Kris bursts out laughing. “You look incredible!” Bojan manages to say after laughing as well.

Needless to say, Kris was ready for the date.

~~~

On the other side of Ljubljana, Jan and Nace we’re frantically trying to get Jan ready to go on time. Jan asked Nace to come over long before they had to go, and Nace showed up exactly on time, but Jan got so nervous that they needed to take a break several times, so it took a lot longer than planned. In the end Jan wears a black shirt with lace and some black trousers. They decide its too dark, so Nace suggests Jan wears a red jacket on top, which works surprisingly well.

Nace gives them a big hug and some words of encouragement then Jan is ready to go.

~~~

Just as Kris is starting to worry that Jan isn't going to show, even though it’s still a couple minutes to six, there’s a knock at the door. Bojan gives him one last hug, Kris breathes in nervously and opens the door.

“Hey”, Jan says awkwardly, “You look incredible”. Before Kris can respond, Lena rushes past her and jumps up to Jan. “Hi, you look amazing too”, Kris laughs, “how is she alerting for anxiety for the both of us already!?” That breaks the ice fast enough, and soon they’re both chatting and laughing. As they make their way to the car, Lena is still bumping her nose into Kris’ and Jan’s legs and nervously running between them, but slowly they all calm down.

Jan selected a small Italian restaurant, decorated with flowers in hanging pots and lanterns. They choose a table in the back corner of the restaurant for some privacy. They sit down, but Lena doesn’t sit under the table like she usually would. She can clearly tell that both of them are still nervous and so she stays by Kris’ side, checking up on Jan every once in a while.

“It’s been too long since we’ve spent time with just us”, Kris sighs once they get their drinks.

”It really has. I used to come to your house, like, twice a week”, Jan responds, slowly petting Lena’s head, who has come to their side of the table for a bit. A comfortable silence hangs between them before Kris continues, “I’ve been so busy lately. I’m glad you’ve found some company in Nace and Jure.” Jan moves their hand over to hold Kris’, “Hey, it’s okay. I know you’ve been busy. I don’t blame you for that.”

Once their food arrives, lasagna for Jan and pasta pesto for Kris, the pair eat their food in relative silence, soft music filling the space. They decide against ordering a dessert and pay for their meal.

”Shall we go back to mine?” Jan suggests, not wanting the evening to end just yet. Kris nods, “Yes, please.”

~~~

The drive back home is quick. Once inside Jan makes a cup of tea for both of them and they sit down on the couch.

“So… this was a date. What does that mean?” Kris starts the conversation.

“Well, I really like you”, Jan admits quietly, staring at the floor. Kris moves closer to Jan. She pushes Jan’s chin up with her finger, forcing them to look at her.
”I don’t think I can say that. I think I’ve loved you for a while now.”

“I love you too.” Jan whispers in response.

Kris moves to look Jan straight in the eyes. “Can I kiss you?” she asks, voice soft. Jan nods, not daring to break eye contact. Kris leans in slowly and closes his eyes. When their lips touch, Kris knows they’ve made the right decision doing this tonight. It just feels right. They kiss slowly. It’s filled with the love they’ve built up over the last five years.

When they separate, Kris just has to ask.

”Can I call you my partner now?”

Jan steals a kiss before responding, “Please, yes. I need to call you mine.”

Chapter Text

“Guys?”, Jan interrupts the silence that had fallen over the band as they sat on the couch in their rehearsal space. “Me and Kris, we… uh— we’re dating now.”

“Congrats!” Nace says, smiling excitedly. “Fucking finally!”, Jure exclaims at the same time.

Just a second too late, Bojan speaks up too, “Yeah, congrats guys!”

Jure notices Bojan’s weird response and looks at him strangely for a second before smiling again and asking Kris how it finally happened.

~~~

Once practice is done, and Kris and Jan have both gone home, Jure corners Bojan: “What was up with you earlier?”, he says sternly. “Don’t you dare tell me you don’t support them.”

”I…No. No, of course not!” Bojan stammers out. “Of course I support them!”

”But you’re not happy about their relationship.” Jure states, leaving no room for argument.

”I…I can’t lose them, Jure”, Bojan sighs. “And why would this be ‘losing them’?” Jure questions, frowning, “Have they told you anything they haven’t told Nace and I?”

”No, I just… this is going to change the band. They have each other now, why would they hang out with me? I’m just going to be alone again. They’re going to leave me like Martin did.” Bojan admits his thoughts.

”Well. Now you know how I felt when you all cuddled up to Nace within a day of him joining” Jure states bitterly, before grabbing his stuff and leaving without another word.

Bojan stands frozen in place.

“Hey. I heard all of that”, Nace says, startling Bojan. “You can talk to him later. For now, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
Bojan doesn’t respond, so Nace lays a hand on his back and pushes him to sit back down on the couch. Bojan shakes his head and takes a shaky breath. “I knew this was going to happen, and what the hell do we do now?”
Nace looks at him questioningly, and Bojan continues, “I’m just going to be alone…”

”Nace sits down next to him and looks him straight in the eye. “I really doubt that this is going to change anything in the band. You’ve known them for ages, they care about you so much”, Nace comforts him. Quietly, he adds, “I care about you so much.”

Bojan’s eyes widen hearing Nace say that, “You do?”

“Of course”, Nace admits. “Maybe even a bit too much”, he adds shakily.

”What do you mean?” Bojan whispers, fidgeting with his hands.

”Well… I think I like you… like, romantically”, Nace tells him, softly.
Bojan cards a hand through his hair and looks at the ground.

”I…”, Bojan tries, but no more words come out.

Nace sits in silence, watching Bojan for a second, before giving up. “I’m sorry.”
That's all he can say. What do you do, what do you say, after messing up everything you’ve worked the last four months, hell, maybe even your whole life, to achieve?

He stands up and takes one last look at Bojan, who is still sitting in the same place, now with his head in his hands and his eyes closed.
He walks down the stairs and packs up his bass and any other stuff he still had lying around. He realises with a stabbing pain in his heart that he’s the second person to walk out on Bojan that afternoon. The only difference between him and Jure being that Jure was definitely coming back and Bojan wanted Jure to come back. Nace is definitely not coming back, or at least, Bojan definitely didn’t want him back.

He grabs his jacket and the sweater that had been laying in the studio for weeks now, takes one final look at the place, and walks out.

.

Back on the studio couch, Bojan sits in silence. When he hears the door of the studio shut behind Nace, the first tear escapes his eye. He fucked up. again.
Soon the singular tears turn into sobbing. “Why?” he whispers into the empty room. “Why!”

The singer didn’t know whether it had been minutes or hours since the bassist left. He had been on the same couch since. He had only moved to lay down and curl up into a ball.

The worst part was that he wasn’t even upset at Nace for leaving. He was glad Nace did. Bojan doesn’t even know who he is, he can’t be there for anyone else. Nace had done so much for him, hell, for the whole band, and now Bojan had gone and fucked it all up again. Of course he fucking fell in love with Nace. Perfect, kind, handsome Nace. And then when Nace tells him he likes him, he can’t even respond. He was still hating himself for being queer in the first place, and then Nace shows up, saying he’s also still figuring things out, but Nace is so much more mature than Bojan. He has accepted that he doesn’t really know who he is, while Bojan is busy hating himself for it.

Fuck.

Chapter Text

Two days after Jan and Kris told the band they’re dating, Jan and Kris hang out at Kris’ apartment again. They watched ‘The Martian’ and ate popcorn, and as the film progressed, Jan slowly moved closer and closer to Kris, until Jan is mostly laying on top of Kris. Once the film is done, they put on some nature documentary and Jan slowly drifts off.

As the programme goes on and on about some incredibly cute penguins, Kris notices that Jan has fallen asleep, and softly nudges them.
“Janči, love, you should go to bed.”

Jan slowly blinks, “What?” Kris has to admit, it’s incredibly cute, but he really has to go home, so he nudges Jan again and tells them so.

Jan nods slowly, “Oh yeah. Why did you have to go?” Kris laughs at their sleepy smile, “Bojan and I have that interview, remember?” “Yea, yeah I remember”, Jan responds softly, clinging to Kris’ arm.

Kris gently shakes Jan off, and puts his shoes on. In the meantime, Jan stands up too and grabs Kris’ bag for him. They kiss goodnight, and then Jan is left alone in his apartment. Igor has apparently been woken up by the commotion and curls around Jan’s leg. Jan pets him for a second and grabs him a treat, before deciding to go to bed.

Sadly, by the time they’ve brushed their teeth and put on pyjamas, they’re completely awake again.

They lay in bed for a while, Igor curled up next to them, but they just can’t seem to fall asleep.
Kris did tell them to call if they were dealing with insomnia again, but he has an interview early in the morning, and so does Bojan, so they really don’t want to bother either of them. He decides to grab a glass of water, put on some music and try again.

An hour later, Jan is still awake. It’s already nearing two in the morning, and Jan is still laying awake. Luckily for him, Igor did manage to fall asleep, and he is laying curled up into a ball at the foot end of Jan’s bed.

Jan decides to message Nace.
’Hey’
’I can’t sleep’
’Are you awake?’

A few minutes later, Jan’s phone shows them that Nace has read the messages, but after Nace typing for a couple minutes, no message appears, and Nace goes back offline.

Jan frowns, but decides Nace probably just fell asleep.

They sit up and transfer into their wheelchair. Their bedroom is not very big, so they have to wheel themselves through the quite narrow space beside their bed and to their keyboard. They turn it on only to realise that their headphones are not anywhere nearby, and since they don’t want to wake Igor up, they’re going to have to grab those.

Jan sighs and wheels themself over to the living room and back.

Once they’ve finally got their headphones plugged in they play around with some chords and melodies, but Jan can clearly tell how sleep-deprived they are. They feel so sluggish and out of it, that they decide to go back to bed after only a couple of minutes of playing.

They only barely manage to transfer out of their wheelchair and back into bed, and Jan feels hopeful about their sleeping chances. They’re so tired now, and its already half an hour past two in the morning.

Laying down in bed, they realise that they also have a rehearsal the next day, or technically, that day.
Of course, that realisation made them worry about not getting enough sleep, causing them to, once again, not be able to sleep.

By three in the morning Jan picks up their phone and messages Jure in hopes that he’s still awake and willing to talk to them, but Jure is seemingly still asleep and doesn’t read Jan’s messages. Jan curses and closes their eyes again.

They still can’t fall asleep, but at least they’re resting a little bit.

They end up falling asleep by eight in the morning. They were luckily smart enough to turn off their early alarm earlier that night, meaning they manage to sleep until their alarm goes off at one in the afternoon.

Jan once again drags themself out of bed and into their chair. They quickly wash their face and pull on some comfortable trousers and a hoodie, fighting against sleep. They decide against driving, since that would clearly be unsafe, and messages Nace to ask if he can pick Jan up, Nace reads it immediately but doesn’t respond until 30 minutes later.

Nace response simply reads:
’I’m not coming.’

Jan frowns and messages back:
’Wait, what? Are you not coming to rehearsal? Why not?’

Nace types for a long time, before responding:
’I am not going to rehearsal today.’

That is weird. Jan decides to call Kris, who should long be done with the interview.

”Hi love, everything alright?” Kris asks. “Not really, I slept terribly, but worse, I just messaged Nace, asking if he could drive me to the rehearsal later and he responded ‘I’m not coming’, so I asked him what he meant and why, and he sent ‘I am not going to rehearsal today.’ those exact words. With a fucking period at the end. Full stop. Done.’ Jan rants, slowly talking faster and faster, getting angry.

Kris has to process that for a couple seconds.

“So, he’s not coming, and he didn’t even tell you why?”

”No, he didn’t tell me anything”, Jan replies.

”Oh shit!”, Kris exclaims, suddenly. “It must have something to do with how weird Bojan was acting this morning.”

“Wait, what was up with Bojan?” Jan asks, even more confused than he was before.

”Bojan was all sad, saying we should cancel the interview because, and I quote, ‘it’s all hopeless’.” Kris attempts to explain, though it doesn’t really explain anything.

”Alright, that’s it, I’m calling a band meeting.”

Chapter Text

’Emergency band meeting at mine, 15.00. No skipping unless you have a genuinely valid reason approved by Kris.’

Bojan reads the message and sighs. They must have caught wind of what happened the day before, and he truly does not want to deal with the consequences of that.

But, Kris is definitely not going to see that as a ‘genuinely valid reason’, so he practically has to go. And, if he doesn’t show up then Kris is probably going to break down his door.

~~~

By the time Bojan arrives, Kris, Jan and Jure are already there. Only Nace, who is usually the first to arrive, hasn't shown up yet.

”Did he see your message?” Kris asks Jan.

Jan nods, “Yeah, he did, as soon as I sent it. He should be here soon.”

“I’m not so sure about that…” Bojan says, softly. “I really fucked up.”

Kris has never turned around so fast. “What the fuck did you do?”

Bojan sighs, and starts to respond, but the door opens before he can get any words out.

They all turn to the door, and Nace walks in, clearly uncomfortable.
“Hey, guys.”

Kris walks up to him, “Hi, why were you planning on not going to rehearsal today?”

Jure interrupts before Nace can respond. “Kris, let the poor man sit down first, please!”

Once they’re all sat down, Kris restarts the conversation. “Okay. Bojan, what happened?”
Bojan doesn’t respond. He just stares down at the floor and doesn’t move.

”I can’t stand this. Is it just Bojan and Nace involved in this or did something happen with you too, Jure?” Jan questions.

Jure shakes his head. “Nothing new.” Jan looks at him questioningly but decides this is not the biggest issue right now.

”Someone is going to have to speak up, or we’re never going to figure this out.” Kris suggests.

It doesn’t actually help at all, and they sit in the loaded silence for a couple more minutes before Nace gives up. He doesn’t want the entire band to fall apart over this.

“I told Bojan that I like him and he didn't respond so I and walked out and I think I should leave the band“ Nace exclaims at the speed of a high speed train.

Kris just gapes at him and then at Bojan. “Boki, I swear to god”, he says, angrily. “You are coming with me, right now. We need to talk about this.

Kris grabs his keys and leads them outside, far enough away that they can yell at Bojan without Nace hearing.

“Boki. I listen to you pining over that guy for months! And he tells you he likes you too, and let the guy just walk out!?” Kris yells at Bojan. As they’re talking, Kris sees Bojan slowly fall apart. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that” he concedes. “I’m just scared to lose him. Nace is the perfect fit for the band, and now he feels like you hate him.”

“Wait, what?” Bojan looks at Kris, shocked. “Does he… —oh no, no no!”

”Yeah. That. Go fix it please!” Kris sighs.

~~~

Inside, Jure, Jan and Nace are sitting in silence. Nace’s mind is racing. What if the band hate him for this? The calling of this meeting gave him a bit of hope. If Bojan truly hates him they would have kicked him out already, right? And why on earth did Kris want to talk to him?

When Bojan and Kris get back, Bojan looks incredibly upset. “Nace, can I talk to you, alone somewhere?” he asks, but before Nace can respond, Jan shakes their head. “You are not going anywhere if you’re just going to get mad at him.”

Bojan shakes his head, “I promise you Jan, it’ll be fine, I—” “Thank you Jan but I can make my own decisions.” Nace interrupts him.

Jan sinks back in their chair, dejected, “Sure. You can go to my bedroom.”

~~~

Once they’re alone, Bojan looks at Nace, but Nace just stares at his hands. “Nace, I am so sorry—”

This is it, Nace thinks, he hates me. He has lost these friends for good.

”I don’t hate you. I… actually like you a lot too”

Huh. That’s not what Nace was expecting to hear.

“But, why didn’t you…?” Nace’s voice trails off.

”I… I only recently came to terms with the fact that I’m queer. It’s all been really difficult for me and I feel like I should burden you with that. You deserve more than that”, Bojan explains softly.

”Bojan. Please let me make that choice. I don’t care that you don’t know everything yet. Let me be there for you, please”, Nace says, equally softly, laying a hand on Bojan's knee.

Bojan nods, but looks unsure, “Are you sure? After everything?”

“Bojči, I would like to call you my boyfriend.”

Bojan just nods in response to that. That would make him incredibly happy.

”Can I?” Nace asks, wanting proper confirmation.

”Yes.” Bojan gives him it.

“Can I kiss you?”

”Please”

Chapter Text

”I’m glad Bojan and Nace have finally sorted it all out”, Kris tells them on a late night. Jan agrees; “There’s still the issue with Jure though.”

Kris looks at him questioningly; “What do you mean ‘the issue with Jure’?”

”I think he was feeling bad too, at least, he said ‘nothing new’ at the meeting when you asked if he had anything to do with that situation. I guess he’s still feeling left out and I’m genuinely worried about him. You know how I feel when I can’t move around the stage and interact with you all freely, he’s got that all the time, at concerts and rehearsals. Not to mention that we don’t hang out together that much outside of rehearsals”, Jan explains.

Kris considers that for a second. “Yeah, I guess he has seemed distant, especially since Nace joined…”

”Oh shit! Yeah, we are all dating each other except for him, of course he feels left out!” Jan exclaims, the pieces finally falling into place. It makes sense, most of all because Bojan had been cuddling up to Nace from the start, though Jan and Kris also kind of did…

”Well, how do we fix it?” Kris interrupts their thoughts.

“Let’s start by inviting him over more often. Maybe we could ask him to hang out on Friday? That would be fun”, Jan suggests.

~~~

Jure agrees to come over that Friday. He suspects it has something to do with what he said during the meeting, but he doubts that this attention is going to continue past one hangout.

Oh well, he’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Kris and Jan haven’t officially moved in together yet, but Jan is staying over at Kris’ most of the time now. Thus, Jure makes his way over to Kris’ place around dinner-time on Friday.

Jure rings the doorbell and unlocks the door. ”Hi!” Kris greets him excitedly, giving him a hug. Jan waves, and says: “I made some pasta, shall we have dinner?”

The pasta is delicious, and Jure tells Jan, “That was amazing. What do you want to do now?”

Kris nods, “It was. We thought we could play some mario party? We’ve got the one on the switch.”

~~~

After a couple of incredibly competitive rounds of Mario Party, Jure is in the lead. “I thought you said you’d never played before!” Jan says to Jure, surprised at how good Jure turned out to be at the game.

Kris ends up stealing a star from Jure, but Jure manages to buy two more and get a bonus star, meaning he wins anyway.

Once the game is done, Jan turns to Jure. “I was wondering, how do you feel about the fact that Bojan and Nace are also dating now?”

Ah. That is what this was about.

“I guess I do feel a little left out, but like, it’s mostly about the fact that you all spend so much more time together, like I don’t want to date you” Jure laughs.

“You wouldn’t date me?! I’m offended!” Jan exclaims laughing.

“Well, I wouldn’t date anyone romantically, so don’t take it personal”, Jure confesses, a little more seriously.

Kris frowns: “Why not? The dating anyone thing, I mean.”

”Oh, yeah, that. Uhm… I— I am aromantic”, Jure confesses. His voice is shaky, and he doesn’t dare to look Kris or Jan in the eye.

“I assume that’s like asexuality, but with romance?” Kris asks, voice kind and gentle.
Jure’s head whips up. “Yes, but, don’t you think it’s weird?” He asks, eyes wide.

Jan wheels themself over to where Jure is sitting on the couch, lays their hand on Jure’s shoulder and looks him straight in the eye. “Jure, I will never think you are weird. We don’t care if you’re queer or whatever else. You are welcome here.”

Kris nods; “Exactly, it will never matter who you do or don’t date, or how you date. As long as you are happy, we don’t care.”

Jure shakes. “I… thank you”, he ends up saying, leaning into Kris, who wraps an arm around Jure and pulls him closer.

”We’re here. We will always be here when you need us.”

Chapter Text

The conversation they had with Jure seemed to help at least a little bit. At the first practice session after the whole mess with Bojan and Nace, Jure seemed a lot more relaxed than he was at previous sessions. But, Nace seemed a lot more on edge for some reason.

”Nace, can you stay behind later, I want to talk to you for a second”, Jan suggests, hoping to figure out what’s up with him.

Nace nods, and once the practice is done, Nace sits down behind the drums.

“We really need to get proper seats down here.” Nace comments, breaking the awkward silence. “Yeah, we’re too reliant on the couch upstairs”, Jan agrees. They are in their chair today, meaning they can’t actually use the upstairs area of the studio, which is incredibly inconvenient.

“Anyway, I wanted to ask you how you and Bojči are doing. You were acting a little strange today.”

Nace looks at him, eyebrows raised, “What? We’re fine. I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Are you sure?” Jan pushes. They trust Nace, but Bojan has gotten his heart broken way too many times. They cannot let Nace hurt Bojči.

Nace is conflicted on what to tell Jan. On one hand, he is happier than ever dating Bojan, but simultaneously he is so confused. And, he has stopped feeling jealous about Jan and Kris, which is slightly more confusing. He guesses it’s because he has Bojan now, but even that makes very little sense. He decides it’s probably better to keep his troubles to himself.

”I promise you, I’m fine”, Nace finally answers.

Jan frowns, “If you say so. If you ever want to talk about anything, come to me, or Kris and Jure for that matter.”

~~~

”Did Nace tell you anything I should know?” Kris asks when Jan gets into the car. Jan puts their folded up wheelchair into the car and shakes their head. “No, he said everything’s fine, which I don’t really believe…”

“Strange. Well, I hope he tells us if he needs anything”, Kris responds. She had been hoping that Nace told Jan anything, she really wants to avoid another situation like Jure’s current one. It does not seem like a good idea to hide your feelings, but Kris really can’t say anything about that.

Once Kris turns onto the main road, she restarts the conversation. “I… I was doing a bit of research last night into different gender identities, and I think I found something?”

“Oh nice, why did you decide to research again now?” Jan questions, since Kris hasn’t really been interested in specific labels for any part of their identity.

”I’m not sure actually, I just kind of felt like it” Kris replies honestly.

”Anyway, what did you find?”

Kris takes a deep breath to calm down a little, looks straight at the road, and answers: “I’m genderfluid.”

“Alright, that’s good to know. You did consider that option a little while back, right?” Jan asks keeping their voice gentle.

Kris nods, “Yeah, I did like years ago, which also made me doubt myself a little now, but, the reason I felt like that label didn’t fit me is because I never truly felt masculine at all. But, now that I’ve managed to separate myself more from masculinity I feel like I do actually feel masculine quite often.”

That makes a lot of sense to Jan, before they came out they also had more trouble figuring out their identity, though it felt more and more obvious every day, after they came out. “Does this realization change anything about your pronouns?” Jan questions, wanting to accommodate their partner as well as possible.

After a moment of consideration, Kris answers: “I’m not completely sure, but I think I would like to use specific pronouns depending on how I’m feeling gender wise. Though, if you, or I for that matter, don’t know, then just use whatever. I’ll let you know what pronouns I do or don’t want if it bothers me.”

~~~

Later, once they get back to the apartment, Jan asks their last questions. “Do you want to tell the band? And, the fans?”

Kris nods, “The band, definitely. The fans, I’m not completely sure. The pronouns don’t bother me that much, so I don’t really see a reason to put myself in the line of fire of the media. The only thing that makes me unsure about that decision is that I’m sure it would mean quite a lot to the fans if I did come out.”

“I’m sure it would”, Jan answers. “The reactions from the fans made it all worth it for me.”

The Slovenian media still struggled with Jan’s pronouns, even though it’s been months since Jan came out.

They made a post on the band’s Instagram and Twitter together with the rest of the band. It was a short announcement, just staying “Jan here, I am non-binary and use they/them pronouns. The rest of the band love and support me completely and I will always be thankful for that. Love, Jan”

Jan had truly underestimated how much it would mean to the fans when they came out. But, many fans reached out to Jan, and the rest of the band, talking about how much it meant to them and how it gave them the courage to be themselves too.

Chapter Text

At the next band practice, Kris decides against saying anything about their recent revelation. He doesn’t feel like they need to know just yet, and he wants to be a little more sure of himself.

About a week after they came out to Jan, they have another practice. Kris and Lena are awake bright and early to get ready. Their back hurts quite a bit, but some proper stretches do the trick to alleviate most of the pain. As he’s getting ready, he thinks about what to wear for the day.
Since he and Jan started dating, Jan has been staying over at Kris’ place a lot, meaning their wardrobes have slowly mixed together. This has lead to Kris having a lot more varied options, including Jan’s skirts and dresses.

This morning, Kris decides to take the leap and actually wear something different than usual. They decide to wear the pink hoodie they bought with Martin and Jan. He pairs it with a black skirt with pink embroidered flowers, which they take from Jan’s side of the closet.

It’s a little scary to wear a skirt, but Jan does it all the time, so the rest of the band should be fine with it. The outfit is incredibly comfortable, and Kris feels so much more confident than he normally does.

Kris picks up his black cane, and puts Lena’s pink vest on, which, funnily enough, matches perfectly with his outfit.

~~~

As per usual, Kris and Lena are the first to arrive at the studio. Lena immediately makes her way over to her bed in the corner, and Kris sets up his guitars.

Only a couple of minutes later, Jure arrives and Lena jumps up and runs over. Jure greets her, and Kris is kind of glad that Jure’s distracted and hasn’t noticed their outfit yet. Kris is quite surprised by how nervous they are about this. It really doesn’t make sense at all, since the band has been nothing but kind and supportive.

When Jure finally does properly notice them, he is immediately supportive; “I love that combo, that looks really comfortable!”

Kris blushes and thanks him. “Thanks. You’re here early”, they state, and Jure nods. “Yeah, I wanted to ask if I could come over later?”

It was a bit of a test on Jure’s part, trying to figure out if Kris still actually liked him, which, to be honest, seemed to still be true. Jure and Jan actually watched a couple of indie films just two days before, and Kris seems very positive about him asking to come over.

“Of course, I have nothing to do. I think Jan was thinking of coming over as well, if you’re fine with that? If not, that’s fine, I can hang out with Jan another time as well”, Kris replies, slowly petting Lena.

That’s an interesting response; Jure was expecting Kris to prioritise Jan. It must be part of Jan and Kris’ whole thing to make them feel more included.

~~~

Jan ends up joining them too, but they seem to try and keep the lovey-dovey stuff to the minimum, which Jure does appreciate. Last time he felt a little like a spare wheel, but this time that’s not the case at all. It feels a lot more like how it felt when they spent time together before the duo started dating. Though, this time both Jan and Kris seem to be a lot closer to Jure, even physically.
Jan spends most of their Mario Party rematch cuddled up to Jure, which they did actually ask permission for, and which Jure gladly gave. Jan’s put their legs up onto the couch and rests their head fully on Jure's shoulder, which eventually leads to Jan half-laying on top of Jure.

Jure keeps looking over at Kris, who is sat on the separate loveseat, but Kris seems to not care at all. Instead, when Jure makes eye contact with Kris, Kris only smiles at him.

Once the game ended, with Jure winning again, Kris tells him; “Jure, let me make it very clear, I am perfectly fine with you doing whatever with Jan as you two please.”