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“I’ll be back soon.”
That’s what Jin had said to her.
The words fell from his lips with a hint of amusement, like he was teasing her for thinking otherwise. He looked her straight in the eye and allowed a small smile to grace his lips as he promised her. (The kind of smile that she wanted to imagine he saved only for her).
They both stood at the docks where, in a few moments, Jin would board a ship and sail off to Iki island where the majority of its inhabitants wouldn’t hesitate to drive a blade through him if they knew he was a samurai, or worse, he carried the name Sakai. Son of the “Butcher of Iki”.
Jin had reluctantly told her the story of how his father had been murdered on that island many years ago. As he spoke, she could tell that deep down, Jin was still affected by the event. Whether he knew it or not.
It was the reason she had stubbornly insisted that she was coming with him. He shouldn't have to face his past alone. They had been a team since the moment she pulled Jin off Komada Beach. She watched his back, and in return, he would watch her’s. The two of them held each other together, not allowing the other to fall apart. Teams weren’t successful if the teammates didn’t work together.
But, Jin had fiercely prohibited her from coming along, stating that she was “better off staying here.” She had argued with him at first. Yuna wasn’t one to be stopped by a no, even if it came from him. They had argued for days, neither one of them letting up. Some nights, after the more intense arguments occurred. She would lie down on her goza mat, with her back facing him. With them sharing a home, it was hard to avoid him after their fights.
But while she lay awake, the deeper corners of her mind wondered if this was just Jin’s way of distancing himself from her. Perhaps he was starting to realize that she was a burden on his life. It made sense, if it weren’t for her pushing him to break his code, he would still have a home, a title...a family to go back to. That burden would forever live with her.
Maybe she had begun to selfishly care for him more than he had for her. That thought had made her heart stop in a way she wasn’t familiar with. After Taka had passed, she had clung to Jin like a lifeline, in a way that was unfair to him. But she couldn’t be alone, being by herself meant repeatedly pondering all the ways she had failed her younger brother. But Yuna couldn't force Jin to keep her around if he didn’t want her to, either.
Even through the brave face he put up, she knew that he was hurting too. A different version of Jin had returned to her after he had spoken with his uncle that final time. A hollow pit was left in the center of his heart. She wasn’t that naive to think that she could heal him all on her own, but she'd hoped that her presence helped. Being wrong had never tasted so sour before.
This new revelation had caused her to stop opposing him. She would stay behind if that's what he truly desires. She knew he was perplexed at her sudden change in attitude, but she didn’t give him any further chance to pry.
Now, here she was seeing him off, maybe for the last time. Jin would be off completing his mission, saving the people from threats. He was a hero, selfless and kind. The type of person who would give his life for a random villager without any questions asked. A person too good for this world.
She was nothing compared to him, it didn’t matter how many people she helped alongside him; she would live and die as nothing more than the Ghost's shadow. Wondering during the days if he’d eaten or was hungry if he was awake or asleep if he was alive or dead…
“Hey, where did you go?” he interrupted.
She realized that his hand was brushing a stubborn strand of hair behind her ear, drawing his fingers down the side of her face until they rested underneath her chin, tilting it up for him to see.
She shook the fog out of her head and plastered on a forced smile for his benefit. He didn’t need to worry about her, his focus needed to be on Iki. “Nowhere, just thinking about how I’ll finally get some peace with you gone.”
He chuckled and, with a sudden quickness that surprised her, embraced her. One arm wrapped around her waist, and the other snaked around her upper back, he drew her in until his chin rested over her shoulder. Yuna was stunned for a few moments, but she responded quickly, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and fitting her head into his shoulder as well.
His grip was firm and secure, and Yuna allowed herself to commit the feeling to memory. A selfish part of her wanted to believe that he never held anyone else like this. She could feel his heartbeat between their bodies; the steady rhythm was like music to her.
Too soon, the moment ended. He withdrew from her arms with the pace of not having anywhere else to be. While she tried to blink away the tears that were forming again, he had unholstered his katana, unsheathed it, and handed it to her. “What are you-”
“Take it.” He said gently, placing the blade into her hands, reminding her of the time he’d done the same thing before being detained by his Uncle.
“I don’t understand,” she began, feeling the weight of the blade in her hands, “Why are you giving this to me?”
“I won’t be able to take it with me anyway,” he said. “That family crest is famous across Iki, and I don’t want anyone to know who I am. Besides, I need another reason to come back.”
“Another reason? What was the first one?” she questioned.
“Seeing you again.”