Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

TW: SLURS

September 1st, 1989

I believe im a good person. Y'know, i think there's good in everyone. yet here we are, the first day of senior year! And I look around at these kids I've known all my life, and I ask myself what happened?

I walk through the halls of the school I've gone to since freshman year. Yokohama high. To call it a welcome sight was a stretch. It was simply another thing on a list of tedious tasks to complete. Kids arguing and fighting, shoving people into lockers and making out on the wall. It's like walking through a warzone of horny teenagers and pricks with anger issues.

The flimsy blue tray is slapped out of my hand. I see the annoying ginger in front of me. Gods, I hate gingers.

"Oops~"

Tachihara Michizo. Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick. Though, it's nothing new for footy assholes. I've never really cared for sports.

"Ha! Fag!" I heard him call out, walking away. I bend over to pick up my tray, grab it and brush myself off.

"Hey Dazai-San!" The sudden voice made me jump. I whip my head around to see white diagonal bangs and multicoloured eyes. Atsushi Nakajima. My best friend since he started here. A year below me, but has a big heart. Sadly, around here, that's not enough.

"You still on for movie night?" Atsushi asks, bouncing on his heels. We always have movie nights. it was fun, sitting on the couch with a friend with some popcorn.

"Yep, you're on Jiffy Pop detail!" I reply, matching his cheerfulness. I knew what the answer would be. It was always out of the same selection. Annie, Back to the Future or-

"I rented The Princess Bride!" The excitement is obvious. We'd watched it so many times, but Atsushi somehow never got sick of it.

"Again? Surely you've memorised that now, Atsushi-Kun!" I kept my tone light, as not to make Atsushi feel bad.

"Oh, sorry! I-I can if you want!" I knew he would do this. I dont blame him, though, seeing the background he came from. Being orphaned at a young age, having to endure that shit isn't good for a kids self-esteem.

"Dont bother! It's a great movie! Wondeful choice!" The cheerful complimenting put a smile back on his face. But not for long. Another boy came and snached Atsushis lunch tray, throwing it to the ground. His baby bangs and frosted tips make him instantly recognisable.

"Well, if it isn't Jinko." Ryuunosuke Akutagawa. He's the smartest guy on the football team, which is sort of like being the tallest dwarf.

"Pick that up." I snap. Tachihara had come along, now standing next to Akutagawa.

"What?"

"You heard me. What gives you the right to pick on my friend? Your a highschool has-been waiting to happen. A future gang member or something." It was true. Akutagawas grades were low. As well as Tachiharas. They may as well go and join a gang while they've still got the brains.

Akutagawa rolls his eyes and walks away, taking Tachihara with him, who stuck his tongue out. Atsushi and I get our food. Despite the filth in the cafeteria looking like utter shit, I still took some.

We hadn't even reached our table when the doors swung open. The cafeteria significantly quiets down as three people walk in. The Angels.

Sigma. He has split hair, greyish pink eyes, and an anxious look plastered on his face. He's head of the cheerleaders. His dad is loaaadeeed~ he runs a casino.

Gogol. He's got long white hair tied into a braid and mismatched eyes. Runs the Theatre club. Intense personality and no predictability.

And Fyodor. Black hair and violet eyes. The almighty.

He is a mythic bitch.

Theyre solid teflon. Never bullied, never harrassed. Gods, what id give to spend a day in their shoes.

The cafeteria goes back to their normal talk. I sit with Atsushi, letting him ramble on about whatever he wants. He goes through many topics, not that I payed much attention.

>0<

The bell rings.

Shit.

Im still in the bathroom stall. I can hear the voices of those bastards outside now, though.

"Kolya, dear, i told you not to eat that cafeteria food. You have perfectly good food to bring yourself." The calm drawl of Fyodors voice was unmistakeable, even over the vomiting, which must have come from Gogol.

"You okay in there?" That mustve been Sigma.

"Just dandy, Sig." And theres Gogol, letting out a small laugh before audibly throwing up again.

The sound of the bathroom door creaks through the place. It's obvious who it was by the footsteps. I pull out a peice of paper and begin to scribble something down on it.

"Ah, Fyodor and Sigma." Sighs Mr. Mori.

"...and Gogol," he says in an annoyed tone. "Perhaps you three didnt hear the bell over all that vomiting. Your late."

"Kolya wasnt feeling well. We're helping him." Fyodor replies in that voice that makes him seem like a lovely person. Of course, it only fools teachers and freshmen.

"Not without a hall pass you arent." All three start trying to talk their way out of it, all at once. I sigh, walking out of the stall, putting on a small smile.

"Actually, Mr.Mori, were all out on a hall pass." I hand him the hand forged note, complete with all of our names and a signature. I watch his eyes scan over it, squinting as though searching for any screw ups.

"...I see your all listed... alright, hurry up then." He hands Fyodor the note, walking out.

After analysing the note, possibly closer than Mori did, Fyodor turns to me with a toxicly sweet smile. He has a plan. And now im surely in the middle of it.

"This is an excelent forgery~" He comments. "You. name." The boy points to me in a demanding way. This wasnt a choice.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Who does he think he is talking to me like this. "Dazai."

"Osamu?" he waits for my nod of confirmation. "Ah yes, I know you. What else do you do?"

"... Report cards, permission slips, absence notes, that sorta shit."

Gogol sticks his head out of the stall he was in. "Oooo! This ones cool, Fedya! Can we keep him?" He walks over to stand next to Fyodor, grinning as though he hadnt just been throwing up his lunch.

"For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure." Fyodor commented, stepping closer.

"And a symetrical face! If I took a meat cleaver through the center of your skull id have matching halves! That's very important." Gogol added, somehow coming up behind me without my knowledge. I jump slightly at the sound of his voice. It's not like he's going to actually do that, right?

"And you know, this could be beautiful. Say, you wouldn't mind joining us, would you, Osamu?" His words are dripping with a sense of false security. I pretend to contemplate. Despite the fact that I want the status, the pure power that comes with being an Angel, I'm not an asshole. I mean, I am, but I'm not just going to leave Atsushi. Between not having anyone to go to and Akutagawa being, well, Akutagawa, it would break him.

"How about no." I answer bluntly. That glint in Fyodors eyes. Shit. I'm not getting out of this easily.

"Ah, I see... the thing is, I dont believe you have a choice. I run this school. If you dont join us, I'll make sure even your precious little Atsushi won't look you in the eyes." He speaks with that horrible grin spread across his face as if he enjoys tormenting me. No. Not as if. He does. He knows something, obviously. It's not like I'm the perfect person. I mean, where else would I learn to forge handwriting if I was a decent person a few years ago. I covered that shit up though. At least I hope I did.

I genuinely contemplate it this time. Fyodor had dirt on me. And if he would go as far as turning Atsushi-kun against me, then theres no way to determine truly how far he was willing to go.

"... Fine," I sigh, taking the forgery from Fyodor. "Just leave Atsushi and my past out of this."

Sigma seems to be relieved. Probably because he didnt want to have to deal with this shit. Gogol, on the other hand seems elated. "Oooh perfect! So, do you like blue? Whats your style? No, dont tell me! I already have ideas! We are gonna have to do something about... that," He makes a vague gesture to my messy hair, and recieves an eye roll in response. "But its nothing I havent had to deal with before! Don't you worry!" He drags me out of the bathroom, Sigma and Fyodor follow behind as Nikolai walks down the hall with me in tow. After a while, we reach Gogols locker, and he opens it, rummaging around.

"Aha! I knew I had it! Dazai, go put this on!" A bunch of clothes are tossed at me with force. A lot of blue. I dont even ask why he has them, despite him wearing primarily green. I hold back any form of questioning or denial, reluctantly trudging to the bathroom again, keeping the note clutched in my hand under the clothes, just in case I run into any teachers, which, luckily, I don't.

>v<

"How the hell did you know these would be my size?"

"I have my wayyys~"

"Very simple ways. A toddler could do it."

Im not denying that these clothes arent absolutely gorgeous, nor that I don't look smoking hot. It's just a bit weird that they fit perfectly. Down to the shoe size. A puffy sleeved powder blue shirt, a blue, black diamond patterned vest and some royal blue dress pants, and a pair of black leather shoes.

It feels weird. Being in the same level as the Angels. Dressing up like this, without my coat. Though, despite their attempts, they couldnt get rid of my bandages. I'm not taking them off.

"Well, your free to go to your next class now, Osamu-"

I cut fyodor off. "Just Dazai. Not Osamu."

"Very well. Sigma. Kolya. come along." Gogol follows Fyodor, eargerly waving goodbye to me, while Sigma hangs behind.

"Sorry for him. For them. Say hi to Atsushi for me. See you around, Daza-"

"Sigma!"

"Coming." He gives me a small wave before rushing off. Sigma's the best of the three. Better than Fyodor being a dick and Gogol being a psychopath.

Chapter Text

Dear diary,

It's been three weeks since I became friends with the Angels. Well, not really friends. More like people I work with. But thats besides the point.

I'm at my locker, getting books for whatever class I have to suffer through next. Gods, I hate school. All the work, and the people, and the teachers, they all suck.  

"Hey, Dazai-San!" The familiar voice of Atsushi came from beside me. I close my locker and turn to him with a smile. "Your outfit looks really nice!"

"Why thank you, Atsushi-Kun!" I should apologise for bailing last week. It was a shitty move. "Hey, sorry for ditching on movie night, I wa-"

"No, no its fine! You're with the Angels now, I get it! I'm happy for you!" I could see through the smile plastered on his face. He was sad. We're growing more distant. This was what I wanted to avoid. Not for my sake but for Atsushis sake. Before I can respond, familiar footsteps come from behind me.

"Fyodor said he needs you." It was Sigma. I turn to look at him.

"Okay, I'll be there in a sec-"

"He said its urgent. Sorry..." 

I nod, turning to Atsushi and giving him a small smile, waving. It's a short walk to where Fyodor and Gogol are. That smirk spread across the Russians face always gets on my nerves. 

"Ah, Dazai, there you are. I need a forgery in Ryuunosuke's handwriting. You'll need something to write on. Kolya, bend over." Gogol bends over, forming a makeshift table. What the hell? I'm not just going to write on his back like that. 

Fyodor watches me expectantly. With a reluctant sigh, I pull out my pen and lean onto Gogols back to write on the paper. "What did you want me to write?"

"Hey beautiful, I've been watching you, and thinking about us in the old days. I hope you can come to my homecoming party this weekend, I miss you. Ryuu." All of this is said with a straight face, Gogol giggling under me, making it hard to write. "Put an XO after the signature."

"Whos this for?" I hand the note to Fyodor, Gogol standing up, still giggling.

"You remember how Nakajima and Ryuunosuke used to hang out?"

"Yeah, we all used to, we were kids." Shit. Where was he going with this. Atsushi has always had a crush on Akutagawa, no matter how much he bullied and picked on him.

"Not all of us held hands and kissed on the kickball field." The grin on his face was mercyless. He knew what he was doing.

"Akutagawa!" He called out. I couldnt just let him do this, right? "Would you be so kind as to give this to Atsushi?"

"What? No!" I snatch the note from his hand. "What the fuck are you doing? I told you to keep him out of this!"

"What? It'll give him jack off material for weeks~" Gogol chimed in, still giggling away.

"No, this will ruin him-"

"Are we going to have a problem?" It was such a sudden switch in tone that I was nearly scared. Nearly.

"I-"

"Do you have a bone to pick, Dazai? Do you want to go back to being the scum of this school with that friend of yours? The thing everyone turns their nose up to? Back as a greasy little nobody?" The disdain if Fyodors voice and face was immeasurable. I go to speak, but im interupted again.

"Go back to playing with dolls? Get a snack and watch some Paw Patrol?" Gogol butted in, still giggling. I know I can't just punch them in the hallway. One, I'm outnumbered, two, I'm not all that strong, three, I would be the one to get in trouble. And Paw Patrol? Really? I hate dogs.

Wait, where'd Sigma go? Where'd Akutagawa go?

Atsushi rushes over to me, nearly bowling me over. "Dazai! Ryuu invited me to his homecoming!"

I plaster the best smile I could on my face. All I could do now was sit and watch. It was painful knowing I was the cause of this. "Colour me stoked!" I watched him walk off happily. 

Fyodor gives me that sickening smile again, before turning on his heel and strutting off, Gogol and Sigma following.

I stand there for a moment. I want to walk away. To find Dostoevsky and fucking kill him. I want to go and tell Atsushi the truth, but he'd hate me for it.

"You shouldnt've given into them so easily. They're gonna crush that kid."

"...What?"

"Should've left those fakes while you had the chance." I finally turn to look at the person talking to me. A short ginger in a black coat. Heterochromia, gloves, and an annoyed expression on his face. He shoves his hands in his pockets and pushes past me. Not a soft shove either.

"Hey! Dont just shove past me like that!" He slowly turns back to me, that look spread over his face. "I, uh ... didnt catch your name."

"Didnt throw it, bastard." With that, he turns and walks away.

=D

If theres one thing that gets high school kids excited, its a fight.

It's loud in the cafeteria. Too loud. There's people arguing in the corner. Tachihara and Akutagawa being bastards to some random kid again? I walk closer to see who they're harassing.

"What did your boyfriend think when you moved to Yokohama, huh? Didnt you know this school has a no fags aloud policy?" They've got some kid in the corner. I can't see them, despite how much I crane my neck or move to see.

"It seems they have an open door policy for assholes, though." The voice is a familiar one. I can't put my finger on it though. Not one of the Angels, too 'highschool angst' to be, nor is it Atsushi.

"Hold his arms." Akutagawa's voice is cold. He's pissed. But when Tachihara moves to grab the person's hands, I see him. That annoyed looking redhead from earlier. Those guys really don't know how to fight fair. The dude looks so short. Can he even fight?

"Holy shit." I hear someone mutter behind me. People begin to gather around and whisper between each other. The boy didnt look scared? Could he actually fight or was he insane?

He easily broke free from Tachiharas grasp, swinging a punch at Akutagawa. Holy shit. That looked like it hurt. Damn, this new kid could fight. And he looked good doing it.

Maybe its not as uneven as a fight as I thought. Tachihara is getting off the ground, Akutagawa has just taken a book to the head, and so far they've only landed about two punches on the guy.

Damn, he could manhandle me like that - no, wait, no, hes an annoying little slug. But fuck, does he look hot fighting like that.

The other students have already gathered around, cheering, lauging, cursing, all that fun stuff. But for some reason, I cant tear my eyes away from that kid. That flaming orange hair. The look in those eyes. Ocean blue, umber brown. And the way he fights. Gods how can I not watch him.

I'dve sat there all day watching him like that, but in ran Mr Fitzgerald, the P.E teacher, pulling them apart. Of course, that mysterious teenage angst guy disappeared again, seeing as Mr. Fitzgerald is far more focused on Tachihara and Akutagawa.

"What have I told you boys about going off and starting fights! Octagon-"

"Akutagawa."

"- yes, yes. And Toshinori-"

"Tachihara."

"- Both of you meet in my office after school." Mr Fitzgerald begins walking off, shooing the crowd away. I go to sit back at the lunch table with the Angels, not bothering to grab any food. I dont have Atsushi to monitor me eating the cafeteria slop, anyways.