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August 13th, 8:30am,
Bender awoke to the clumsy sound of his roommate carelessly stomping through their shared apartment. He heard the rustling of a bag of Bachelor Chow opening and slowly pouring into a bowl, completed with a drawer slamming shut. He sighed, the sounds were all so familiar, he woke up like this almost every day. It gave the robot a strange sense of comfort knowing that his best friend was awake and participating in the usual human activities, such as consuming odd varieties of food. Bender stretched and walked out of his tiny closet-like room, greeted by the orange-haired meatbag sitting at the table.
“Morning, Bender!” The human exclaimed cheerfully, “Sleep well?”
“As best as a robot can, I guess,” the bending unit shrugged, reaching into the fridge and grabbing a bottle of beer. He leaned against the counter, slightly observing his friend. Bender's attention drifted towards a calendar that was pinned on a near-by wall, he noticed that tomorrow's date read Fry's Birthday in messy handwriting. “Your birthday's tomorrow?” He asked, already knowing the answer.
“Oh yeah, I guess it is,” Fry responded, attempting to look unbothered. Bender saw something flicker inside the human’s eyes, something he didn't quite understand the meaning of.
“You good, meatbag?”
“Why wouldn't I be?” The red-head asked, startled.
“You just seem a bit different,” Bender examined Fry's features more, trying to decipher whatever emotions were filling the human’s head with that sense of unspoken sadness.
“Oh well, you know, just thinking about how I'm getting older and stuff.”
Bender smirked, “Yeah well, you're almost as old as the Professor.”
Fry shuddered. “Eugh, I'm not that old!” He gave Bender a soft grin. Bender laughed in response, taking a sip from his beer. “Besides, the Professor's old enough where he could die tomorrow! Well, I guess I could too but that's not the point.”
Bender froze, something inside of his system was panicking, a rare occurrence that left the robot confused. “What?”
Fry glanced at Bender, “I said that I could also die tomorrow. I mean, I probably won't but it is a possibility.” He shrugged, eating more of his breakfast.
Bender chuckled nervously, startled by this sudden burst of emotions “Yeah, you better not!”
Cause I don't know what I'd do without you.
The words layed unfinished inside of the mid-summer air, begging to be expressed. The robot desperately wanted to say something else, but his voice box simply wouldn't allow it. He sighed, storing his bottle in his chest and replacing it with a cigar. Robot's weren't supposed to be like this. They were cold, heartless machines who couldn't give a damn about humans, especially gross, orange-haired ones. Bender's optics drifted back towards the human, focusing on how he sat at the table, unaware of the sheer distress he had caused.
__________
September 4th 10:08 pm,
Bender didn't know why he did it.
Was it the reminder of how many miserable years of life he's endured that caused it? Birthday's have never been hard for him, but this year was different. Somehow, something today had sparked that sense of complete agony and loneliness.
The robot watched as another person went inside of the booth, appearing so upset that his sensors detected a resemblance of a gray cloud. In ten seconds, the doors flew open and another walked in, sliding a quarter into the machine and awaited their demise.
It was pathetic. The way so many people just accepted their death, welcomed it even. It was an endless loop of people entering the machine, and never coming out. Bender just stood there, watching. Waiting for something to just give him that final push he needed, something to throw him over the edge and give him the confidence to finally escape the cruel world he's hated for so, so long.
But, alas, nothing ever happend. The bending unit eventually gave up and stumbled home, prepared to hide himself and fall subject to the guilt and shame of being too much of a damn coward to just do it. His thoughts weighed down on him, crushing his metallic body and slowly suffocating him. Why couldn't he just get it over with? He would have to die eventually, given he was built without a backup unit and all that. He's been wanting, no, needing to do this for years! Why couldn't he? What was stopping him?
Bender entered his cluttered apartment and went straight towards his room, barely even registering his roommate who was sprawled on the couch. He sighed, a slow shaky sound escaped him, making his insides feel like they would explode at any given moment. Once he knew he was alone, he finally allowed his walls to break, drowning himself in these confusing emotions.
__________
December 25th, 12:42 am,
The dimly lit attic of the Planet Express building created a sort of cozy ambiance, almost making Bender forget about the crew's near-death experience. Almost.
Like every year, Santa attacked. It wasn't surprising, it was basically a routine at this point, but something about this year felt different.
Ever since Bender found out about how Inspector 5 lied, he's been extra careful. Sure, he still had those thoughts, but he didn't necessarily want to die, not now at least. He couldn't just leave his meatbags behind, what would they do without him? How would they bend certain girders? Or who would provide them with witty remarks and sarcastic comments? After all, Bender was the greatest robot ever made, his friends would certainly be lost without him.
…
Fry and Leela were talking about this year's Xmas adventure, how it was ridiculous that they almost died every year. Bender listened, he'd been careful to not think too much about death, but this time of year really made it impossible not to. Before, he wasn't worried about getting damaged. But now, he knew that one small inconvenience could cost him his life, he knew he needed to be very cautious about these kinds of situations.
“What do you think, Bender?” Fry suddenly asked, slipping the robot out of his trail of thought.
“Huh? Sorry wasn't payin’ attention,” he responded dryly, lighting up a cigar.
“Figures, you never pay attention to anything actually important,” Leela rolled her eye.
“Nobody asked you, big boots,” he snapped back, “Also, I always pay attention to important things!”
“Bender, alcohol and TV isn't important,” the mutant sighed.
“Hey, those are both pretty important!” Fry exclaimed, receiving a side eye from Leela. Bender chuckled and gazed at the fireplace. He suddenly felt overwhelmed, an odd sense of anxiety settled inside of him.
What would he do without them?
Bender knew humans were fated to die, it was common knowledge. Though, the terrible feeling of being left behind was consuming him. It wasn't fair how quickly humans come and go. He didn't deserve to be abandoned in this world, all the people he's ever cared for gone forever. He shivered at the thought.
The bending unit stared at his friends, all inside their own little worlds, filled with weird human thoughts and disgusting human feelings. He felt that ache in his chest shift into a sense of gratitude.
While he would never admit it, Bender was glad to have this. Glad to belong somewhere. Even if that place would eventually collapse, everyone dead and buried while he remained there, stuck staring at the ruins of what they once had.
Bender silently hoped that day would never come.