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“So glad you guys could make it!”
First is drawn into a group hug as soon as he and Khaotung step through the narrow doorway and into the karaoke room. Ciize throws her arms around him first, followed by Joong and Satang, the five of them squeezed together.
“Of course. Happy birthday,” First replies once he can untangle himself. He pulls a small gift bag from his satchel. “Here. This is for you.”
He'd gone to the mall with Khao before coming here, and they'd purchased a last-minute present for their longtime friend. Khao's sister had been the one to suggest the perfume. Ciize yanks it out of the purple package with a squeal.
“Oh my god, I love this one! Thank you.” She gives them both another quick hug, then gestures towards the open space. “I got the room for two hours. Unlimited drinks, and Joong convinced them to let us bring a cake. Dig in!”
Khaotung immediately pours himself a whisky and coke. He raises his brow to First, as if to ask, “Want one?” without raising his voice over the throbbing music. First nods resignedly.
Everything is going well. He and Khao—along with Joong and Dunk—are nearly finished filming The Heart Killers, a show far outside of anything he's done with his best friend in all their years as a fixed pair. The director, Jojo, is good at coaxing them to their limits without pushing them over the line. First knows the end result is going to be amazing.
On top of that, the pair will be shooting with Satang soon, in a show called Cat For Cash that hasn't been announced publicly yet. It's almost a complete 180 from the other one, but First doesn't mind; he's always excited to try something new if Khao is by his side.
But right now, his best friend isn't. Instead, he's belting out a song next to Joong, some Thai rock one First has never heard of. Khaotung has better music taste than he ever will. He really should have played Sand in Only Friends, although First can't imagine anyone else as Ray.
Ciize plunks down beside him on the ratty couch. “Hey!”
“Hey.” First smiles. He's genuinely happy to see one of his other close friends. They've both been busy with filming various shows and events for their company, so First hasn't had a chance to hang out with her in a while.
“I'm sorry I missed your birthday, Fir.” She gives him a pinch and tops off his drink with more whisky, despite the fact that he's barely taken a sip. “We can consider this a joint celebration.”
“Nah, it's alright.” First gulps his drink and nearly gags; all he can taste is the alcohol. “I don't care that much about my birthday.”
“Not as much as someone else does,” Ciize says slyly, eyeing Khaotung across the room.
First bites his lip. He knows she's referring to Khao spending his birthday with him—driving out to Siam to see his billboard, taking photos of him, bringing him cake to eat in the car. The photo evidence was so damning that the fandom poured over it for weeks afterward. He drops his shoulders and sighs.
“You know there's nothing going on,” he replies.
Ciize nods. She already seems tipsy, letting out a soft giggle. “Yeah, not yet,” she murmurs playfully. She nudges him with her elbow. “It's his birthday next! You could be together by then!”
“Stop.” First takes another sip of his drink and winces. “Fuck. That's strong.” He puts the cup down. “Forget it, okay? Let's just have fun.”
And so they do. An hour quickly passes with the five of them singing, eating snacks, and guzzling the free alcohol. Sometimes they sing as a whole group, and other times they take turns soloing or dueting as they see fit. First has never been a confident singer, but Khaotung has been encouraging him, so he tries his best to just enjoy it.
Satang shoves a piece of cake in his mouth a few minutes later, as Khao and Joong sing ‘I Kissed a Girl’ by Katy Perry. “They’re really two of the best singers in our company,” he comments, swallowing his massive bite.
“Mn.” First’s eyes are glazing over watching Khaotung in his element. He agrees, but he’s too mesmerized to say much back. “Yeah. For sure.”
This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It's not what I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention
If not for the drink clouding his judgement, First would swear that Khao is staring right at him as he belts out the lyrics. The song is silly and outdated, but it speaks to him somehow, about a hidden fantasy he’s had for ages about his best friend that’s never quite played out.
As the song ends, Joong changes the words, singing, “I kissed a boy and I liked it… I liked it!”
He grabs Khao’s chin and plants a smacking kiss on his cheek. Khao gives him one back, loud and exaggerated. Everyone laughs, and Joong waves First, Ciize, and Satang over to sing another song.
“Nah, I’m going to sit down for a bit.” First puts his drink on the small coffee table and sinks into the plush of the sofa, far more comfortable than it was when he first walked in.
That’s better.
Joong and Dunk, through filming their latest show, have become as close as real brothers to First and Khaotung. First has to credit him for bringing the introverted pair out of their shells more often, and he knows the fans appreciate it too. The four of them always have fun together and Joong is a super nice guy.
But something about seeing him kiss Khao like that… and so effortlessly…
He didn’t even think about it.
First doesn’t know how many songs are sung while his mind rumbles a hundred miles an hour. He downs another glass of something dangerous. He doesn’t usually drink this much, but tonight he’s past his usual limit, though not quite on the edge of what he’d call drunk just yet.
“Firfir.”
He looks up. Khaotung flops down onto the couch, clearly buzzed from his drink because he's a little too close—not that First minds, of course. His body is flushed and hot to the touch.
“Why are you sulking over here by yourself?” Khao teases, poking him.
First gazes into his best friend’s crescent eyes, unusually bloodshot but no less adorable. He, too, is four or five drinks deep into this night, finding it harder and harder to keep his thoughts from swimming.
Why am I over here? First is often the more social of the pair, but he doesn't feel like it tonight, not even to celebrate a friend. In all honesty, he'd prefer to just be lounging at Khao's, watching a movie like they usually do while Montow stretches out next to them.
“Just tired,” he replies, averting his gaze.
“It’s not even ten o’clock!” Khao snickers and smacks him on the knee. “Come on. Singing will give you more energy.”
“I’m not in the mood.”
Ever doting even in his tipsy state, Khao leans in closely and squeezes his shoulder. “Firrrrrr. It’s no fun if you’re not having fun. What’s wrong?”
First could come up with an excuse: he’s near-drunk, he’s exhausted, he’s worried about the premiere of their show, he ate too much cake. But it would all be a lie, so far from what he actually wants to say that it almost feels like blasphemy. He sighs.
And suddenly, before he can stop himself, he lowers his eyes sullenly, lips pouted in a way that suits his best friend far better than him.
“You kiss everyone but me.”
Khao's face lights up and he smiles lazily. “Ohhh. You're jealous, hm?”
First reddens. “No,” he shoots back quickly, even though he is. The flashing lights of the karaoke screen have his tipsy head vibrating. “Just saying.”
“You want a kiss?” Khao leans even further into his space, their noses inches apart. “I can do that, if it's for you.”
He probably means ‘for your birthday,’ but First's brain short circuits after I can do that. Khaotung’s voice is dripping with honey, a raspy tinge of alcohol stuck somewhere in his throat, making him sound even more seductive than he usually does.
“Na , Fir?” Khao tickles him on his stubbly chin. “Will you let me?”
First nods. He can't focus on anything but Khao's hand on his knee, thumbing little circles that are rousing him even beneath his jeans.
With a quick glance at Joong, Satang, and Ciize, who are all singing their hearts out, Khao noses along First's jaw and presses his whisky-wet lips against the taller man’s.
First has kissed his best friend dozens—no, hundreds—of times by now, but never like this. Never unscripted. No blocking, no cameras, just the two of them in the shadowy corner of an entertainment room, deaf to any sound but their steady heartbeats.
That's not to say that he hasn't thought about it though, because he has. Many times. Ever since he realized his feelings for Khaotung were more than just friendship, he's been clinging to the fantasy, allowing himself to indulge whenever he's alone. Whether he's watching his onscreen partner sleep next to him under his covers, or getting himself off to the memory of the countless kisses they've simulated, he always does so with a sliver of hope that it would one day become reality.
The kiss doesn't last long. Khao pulls away after a few soft brushes of their lips, his eyes half shut, and smiles that familiar grin. “Good?”
First smiles back. “Yeah, good,” he mumbles. The alcohol fuels him to be bolder, and he leans back on the couch, peering up wide-eyed at Khaotung. “Wouldn't mind another.”
Khao giggles. “Sure.”
He shuffles closer, lolling onto the couch in the same way First has, the other man's arm supporting his neck. He trails butterfly kisses up First's jaw from the beauty mark on his chin, one of his favourite features that he often compliments. Within seconds, their lips touch again.
This time it's slower; First opens his mouth a bit so Khao can slot their lips together, tongues lapping involuntarily. It happens sometimes when they shoot and he always ends up scarlet when the scene is done. No one's telling them to stop though, so he doesn't, savouring his pretty best friend's taste of Coke and liquor.
When Khaotung touches his cheek with his fingers, First is brought back to reality, and he's the one to pull away. Khao buries his face in First's shoulder and murmurs something incoherent. A slurred chuckle escapes First's throat as he shyly runs his free hand through Khao's hair.
“Hey!”
Both of them jump. Satang has flicked the lights on and is staring at the two of them. “What was that?”
“Hm?” Ciize perks up.
Joong has his phone up, the camera pointed at them. First clamps his hand over his mouth so they can't see him grinning, though his blush is more than evident. “Joong, don't…”
Khao stands up and pretends to stretch. At this point, Ciize is curious, and she demands answers. “Khaotung! What were you doing just now?”
Satang laughs. “Oh what? Do it again!”
Joong aims his phone at Khaotung, who is staring back with a small smile on his face. “Jub juuuuuub. Kiss again!” Khaotung shakes his head and widens his grin. “Kiss, like you just did.”
All five of them laugh, but even though Joong puts his phone down, First is a little alarmed. How long were they watching us?
He bites his lip. “Don't post that.”
“Why not? No one will believe it anyways.” Joong puts a silly filter over their faces and changes the voice so they all sound like they've been huffing helium. “See? It's only a joke.” He gives First a knowing look. “I'm just going to pretend I didn't see that.”
The younger man turns back to Satang and Ciize. “Let's do Tilly Birds.”
First's heart is still racing. He certainly can't pretend that didn't happen, especially not when his closest friend is sitting next to him again, fiddling with the sleeve of his plaid shirt.
“Fir?” Khao asks. His voice is muted and drowsy, the drink finally getting to him. He rests his head on First's shoulder. “You okay?”
“Mn.” First throws an arm around him. “Yeah, I'm okay. You?”
“Mhmm. A bit drunk though.” He bites First's arm affectionately. “Sorry.”
First laughs. “Don't be sorry. I'm drunk too,” he admits.
“Ah.” Khao lifts his head. “So is everyone else, right?”
First glances at his three friends. Ciize and Joong are shimmying to the beat while Satang belts the incoherent lyrics with all his might. “I think so.”
Khao smiles mischievously. “Ohoooo. So… maybe they won't notice if I kiss you some more then, hm?”
The longing is obvious in both his delivery and his stare, but First is finding it hard to trust. What is it that people say… vino veritas ? Wine reveals the truth?
“You want to?” he asks.
Khao pouts. “Don't you?”
First never imagined he'd be admitting his feelings for his best friend in the middle of a drunken birthday party, but then again, it lends him a certain bravado he wouldn't have otherwise. “Of course I do.”
“Then come here.”
Khao curls a finger towards himself and First follows the point of it with his eyes, until Khao brings it to his lips. First smiles again. Khaotung is so cute, the voice in his head speaks up.
It's always right.
First places his hand on the side of Khao's face and cups his slender jaw. “I've wanted to do this for so long,” he confesses, beneath the electric beat of an Only Monday song.
“Me too.”
They kiss again, light, feathery. Secure with the knowledge that their friends have long suspected this and are letting it happen. Khao's mouth is warm, coated in sugar from the Jack and Coke. First would go thirsty for the rest of his life if it meant he got to taste such sweetness every day, and he gets his fill, touching the tip of Khao's tongue with his own.
After a few minutes, Ciize, Satang, and Joong slink quietly out of the room, leaving the two of them to make out in peace. As soon as he hears the door close, First slips an arm around Khao's waist and brings him onto his lap.
Khao grins. “This is what you wanted to do yesterday, isn't it?”
“If I had ten baht for every time someone interrupted us when I wanted to kiss you, I'd be rich.” First nuzzles Khao's cute button nose with his own.
“Rich enough to buy me a new bed?”
“I already bought you a couch.”
They continue to kiss as Khao threads his fingers through First's hair. First runs his own up and down the bare skin of Khao's back, his hands up under his sweater. The room spins, and his best friend is starting to look a little blurry. But his lips remain addictively sweet, so he kisses him until his head hurts and he's forced to drop it onto the back of the couch.
The in-room phone rings. Khao reaches for it breathlessly. “Hello? Ah, yeah. Okay. Thank you.” He puts the receiver back and grins at First. “We have five more minutes with the space.”
“Ooh.” First taps the back of his neck and pulls him back down to his lips. Now that they've broken the ice, it feels like second nature. He can't believe he hasn't been kissing Khaotung like this every single day since they met. “Do you want to use it, or…”
“Or?” Khao asks amusedly. “Or what?”
“Or…” First gives him another kiss and snags his lip a little with his teeth. “Maybe we go home together.”
A dull ache lingers in him that Khao will say yes, but as the room tilts on its axis, he realizes how drunk he truly is and sighs. “I mean, if I can stand up,” he jokes.
Khao seems to sense what he means and kisses him back, then leans in to press his forehead against First's. “This is probably something we should talk about sober, before we do anything else.”
Ever sensitive to his friend's needs, First nods his agreement. “Yeah.”
Khao grins and tilts his chin up with his finger. “Five more minutes then?”
First returns the expression. “Just five more.”
When Joong posts the video of the two of them several hours later, they’re oblivious... at least until morning. The evening is spent in First’s bed, getting to know each other without a camera in their faces for once. Every soft kiss is a promise made to continue this when they sober up, and every piece of clothing removed a new layer of their apprehension peeled away.
They don’t go all the way, but they sleep naked, skin to skin, Khao curled up on First with a leg thrown over his thighs and his cheek resting on his chest. First kisses the top of his head, somehow the most intimate moment they’ve shared this whole night.
“Will you make breakfast in the morning?” Khao asks him as he nuzzles into his embrace. The two have an early morning call, due to arrive on the film set at 7:30.
First smiles. “Sure. If you’ll make the coffee.” He goes for one last kiss. “Deal?”
“Deal.”
Khao’s slept over at his place before, but of course this is different, their sweat clinging to them under the covers and stickying their bodies together. First wouldn’t trade a thing about it.
As his best friend falls asleep in his arms for the first time, he reflects on Ciize’s eerie prediction. Incoherent as she’d been in making her guess, she was right. They’re going to be together by Khaotung’s birthday coming up in just a few short weeks. There's no way they'll forget this in the morning.
But the fans who come to see them will be none the wiser. Khaotung is his secret for now, and he’s content to keep it that way as long as his best friend wants to. The words of the silly song come back to him as he drifts off into a dream that could never be better than his new reality.
It certainly wasn’t what he planned…
But it was definitely his intention.