Chapter Text
The paddock was buzzing with its usual chaotic energy, filled with mechanics hustling between garages and media teams jockeying for the perfect soundbite. It was just another race weekend in the Formula 1 world, yet for Yuki Tsunoda, nothing felt quite normal. His mind was spinning faster than his AlphaTauri down the straights, and his heart was doing even quicker laps.
Pierre Gasly's laugh carried effortlessly across the garage, loud and carefree as always. Yuki watched quietly from the corner, his helmet clutched tightly in his hands. He felt something twist painfully in his chest as Pierre threw an arm casually around a crew member, effortlessly charming as usual. Yuki’s stomach turned—once a comfort, Pierre's ease now felt like a mockery.
They’d agreed to keep things casual, uncomplicated. Friends with benefits, Pierre had labeled it, flashing that easy, charismatic smile that Yuki adored. Initially, it was fun, liberating even. The clandestine nature of their meetings after races, the adrenaline-fueled intimacy—it all felt thrilling and safe.
But somewhere along the countless hotel rooms and stolen kisses in the dimly lit corridors, Yuki had fallen deeper. It was no longer casual to him. He loved Pierre—he knew it now, as clear as the sharp turns on Monaco's streets.
He’d planned everything carefully, convinced that Pierre felt the same way. That the touches, the whispered jokes, and the private glances had meaning. Today was the day he would finally tell Pierre how he felt. The season was nearing its end, and it felt like now or never.
Gathering his courage, Yuki approached Pierre as he stood chatting with their race engineer. “Pierre,” Yuki called softly, trying to hide his shaking hands.
Pierre glanced over, eyes bright, smiling that devastating smile. "Yuki! What's up?"
"Can we talk? Alone?"
Pierre nodded, a curious frown flickering briefly across his handsome features. They moved away from the prying eyes of the team, slipping behind a trailer where the hum of the paddock quieted.
Yuki took a deep breath, willing his voice steady. "Pierre, I—I’ve been thinking. About us."
Pierre’s eyes flickered, guarded now. "Us?"
"Yeah. About what we've been doing." Yuki’s voice trembled despite his efforts. "Pierre, it’s not casual for me anymore. I...I have feelings for you. Real feelings."
Pierre’s face froze, his eyes widening briefly before shuttering entirely. "Yuki, wait—"
"I think—I think maybe you feel it too?" Yuki pressed on, hope desperately clinging to each word. "The way you look at me, how we're always finding each other after races. It's like—"
"Stop," Pierre cut in sharply, stepping back. His jaw tightened visibly. "Yuki, this isn't... I’m not like that."
Confusion quickly gave way to panic. "What do you mean? We've been together. You told me you—"
"No," Pierre snapped, voice colder than Yuki had ever heard. "I never said that. I was clear—this was just fun."
"Just fun?" Yuki echoed weakly. His heartbeat pounded painfully in his chest. "But Pierre, everything we've—"
"Listen, I didn't mean for it to seem more than it was." Pierre exhaled sharply, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry if you got confused. I have a girlfriend. I thought you knew."
A girlfriend? The ground felt like it had vanished beneath Yuki’s feet. The revelation was a brutal blow. "Girlfriend? You never said anything."
Pierre sighed, a flash of guilt appearing momentarily in his eyes before quickly disappearing. "I thought everyone knew. It's public knowledge."
"Public knowledge," Yuki whispered, voice barely audible. He felt foolish and naïve, a rush of embarrassment burning across his face. "Why didn’t you tell me?"
"I didn't think I had to," Pierre said defensively, his gaze shifting away. "I didn’t realize you were actually serious about this."
"Serious? Pierre, I—I love you."
Pierre flinched visibly, stepping back further as though burned. "Yuki, don’t say that. This was just… a mistake. I’m sorry, but it was never going to be more. Honestly, it’s kind of disgusting that you thought it was."
Disgusting. The word hit Yuki harder than any crash he'd ever experienced. His breath caught sharply in his throat. Pierre seemed to realize he'd gone too far, regret flashing briefly before his expression hardened again.
"Look, Yuki," Pierre said coldly, "let's just forget this happened, okay? It'll be better for both of us."
Pierre turned abruptly and left, leaving Yuki alone behind the trailer, shaking and hollow. The paddock noise seemed distant now, unreal, as if it were happening to someone else. Tears burned behind his eyes, but Yuki refused to let them fall, swallowing hard to keep his composure.
Minutes passed before he found the strength to move, slipping quietly back into the AlphaTauri garage. Liam Lawson was there, having joined recently as a reserve driver, and immediately noticed Yuki’s pale, drawn face.
"Hey, Yuki," Liam called gently, concern evident in his voice. "Are you okay?"
Yuki forced a shaky smile, desperate not to show his pain. "Yeah, I'm good. Just tired."
But Liam didn’t look convinced, his sharp gaze softening in understanding. "You don't have to pretend with me. What's going on?"
Yuki hesitated, the weight of his secret heavy on his chest. Liam had always been his closest friend in Formula 2, the person he could confide in without fear. Now, he was here again, ready to offer support.
"I...it’s complicated," Yuki finally whispered, voice tight with emotion.
Liam nodded gently, squeezing Yuki's shoulder reassuringly. "Then tell me when you're ready. I'm not going anywhere."
Those simple words, so earnest and sincere, almost broke Yuki. He looked into Liam's steady eyes and felt a small flicker of warmth push through the cold ache in his chest.
"Thanks, Liam," Yuki whispered, genuinely grateful for his friend's steady presence.
As the rest of the day blurred past, Yuki barely registered the race, Pierre’s distant figure, or the stinging glances that he kept feeling were pointed his way. Everything felt muted, eclipsed by the throbbing heartache he carried silently.
That night, as he sat alone in his hotel room, Yuki finally allowed himself to break down. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed quietly, releasing all the pain he’d been holding back.
He didn't hear the soft knock on the door at first, lost in his sorrow. When the knock persisted, he quickly wiped his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself before opening the door.
Liam stood there, expression full of gentle concern, holding two cups of steaming hot tea.
"Thought you could use a friend," Liam murmured quietly.
Yuki managed a watery smile, stepping back to let him in. "Yeah. I really could."
As Liam settled beside him, offering quiet companionship without pushing for answers, Yuki felt a sliver of relief. He wasn’t alone, and maybe, just maybe, he could survive this heartbreak after all.