Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I arrive home as the sun is rising. When I walk through the front door I am met by a stranger. I hesitate for a moment, unsure of how to respond to what may or may not be a threat to my life. Though, she is an incredibly attractive threat either way.

How do I respond?

How could I respond?

Oh God, have I walked into the wrong apartment? Again? Why does this keep happening to me? At least, that's what I think to myself as I look around and realize that I am, in fact, in my own home.

'I'm guessing you were with Jack.' The thought immediately grosses me out.

She nods to confirm my suspicion.

"I'm guessing you're Maya."

I nod.

"I'm Carina," she smiles. God, she's beautiful. I have only just laid eyes on her and I instinctively know she is way too good to be wasting her time with Jack the time bandit. She should be wasting her time with me.

"Well," I try to talk myself out of it, but it's too late, the word vomit is about to begin. "When you get bored with that idiot feel free to knock on my door. I'm sure we'd have more fun."

Her cheeks turn pink. Oh my God, she's actually blushing. I should have kept my mouth shut, I'm a terrible person.

"Sorry," I have to apologize so she knows I'm not a total creep.

She shakes her head, "No, I'm flattered, you don't need to apologize. I'll keep that in mind, though, because I'll be honest… I'm already a little bored of Jack." She leans in a little as she says it, like it's a secret she shouldn't be sharing and maybe she shouldn't be, but I'm glad she is.

I laugh. Loudly. "Well, I will look forward to seeing you slide into my DMs" I say with a wink.

"I'll do that," she waves and heads for the door.

The good news is I have recently been made unemployed thanks to a post-lockdown recession so I can recover from the terrible sex and delicious cocktails that fueled my evening… and early morning. I decide to ignore the slight feeling of uneasiness in my stomach, knowing full well it's the result of the man I slept with. He was hot, but he wore a lot of body spray and his poor rhythm left me a little discombobulated.

I sink into bed and feel the warmth of my duvet enveloping me like a big hug. I release a heavy sigh and as my eyes flutter shut there's a knock at the door. No, now I release a heavy sigh.

"WHAT?" Yes, I shout, I don't have time for this man.

Jack creaks the door open and smiles. "Morning sleepyhead! I hope I didn't keep you up last night."

I sit up, leaning on my elbow. 'I just got home. Great to know I could get murdered and you wouldn't notice.'

He looks embarrassed. Good. He should. Also good to know that he thinks fucking other women will get under my skin. Just wait until I get under his skin by stealing his girl from right under his stupid fucking nose. "You'd be the first person they suspect," I remind him and he scrunches his nose because he knows it's true.

"Anyway, I'm heading to work. I figured I'd pick up dinner on the way home. There's no reason we can't work on our friendship since we'll be living under the same roof for the time being."

I nod. Okay, that's actually pretty sweet. Ugh, I hate him. 'Sounds good,' I say aloud. It pains me to be polite, but I guess he's not a terrible person. He's just a pain in my ass.

He's still smiling as the door closes.

He's only in a good mood because he got laid last night and I have it on good authority it's been quite some time since that's happened for him. I wish I could say the same to be honest. I've had a steady stream of strange recently and I almost hate myself for it. Only because I have such terrible taste in men, though. What's that song about going and loving yourself? I should work on that. Or just masturbate. Either would work.

I enjoy a long nap and wake up to a message from Jack explaining that he has to work late and will not be bringing dinner home. Par for the course. I mean, what is he even good for then? I wonder if I can choke down buttery pasta again. I sigh as I climb out of bed, remembering what I'd managed to choke down just last night. 'Buttery pasta will be a delight in comparison" I sigh.

But first, I deserve a scalding hot shower to wash away the sins of yesterday. Luckily, before I lost my job and all hope I had invested heavily in lockdown loungewear so I have a cozy sweatsuit to slip into after I dry off. 'You're worth it," I tell my reflection.

Before I attempt to make dinner I should really treat myself to a drink.

I open the fridge to browse my options.

Straight whiskey.

Smart and deserved.

I pour a tumbler of whiskey and add an ice cube to the glass giving it a shake before taking a sip that burns all the way down. "Ah, the cheap stuff," I smile through an almost grimace.

With the apartment to myself I'm free to slam every cupboard behind me and wear my feelings about dinner right there on my sleeve. Despite the noise, I manage to hear the knocking at the door.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't glad to see Carina standing on the other side. And, look at that, she had food in hand and with Jack nowhere near coming home I would be claiming it for myself.

She smiles as soon as she sees me and as foul as my mood was I can't stop myself from returning her grin.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," she says as she walks through the door and heads straight for the kitchen. "So, I know we only just met this morning, but Jack text and said he got caught up at work and had to disappoint you. I thought it would be a good time to get to know you and I brought dinner too."

Oh my God. What the hell had Jack done to earn the attentions of such an angelic creature? More importantly, why was she so interested in getting to know me when she was dating my live-in ex-boyfriend? I shush those questions and push them to the back of my mind to join her in the kitchen. 'You couldn't have arrived at a better time, I was about to choke down some sauceless pasta."

She looks up at me from the takeaway container of Chinese in her hand. She levels me with an intense gaze and it takes all of my strength not to clutch my chest to check if my heart was still beating. I am very aware that I've stopped breathing and, at this very moment, I have concerns for my overall health and wellbeing.

"I am so glad I made it in time," she said, a smirk on her face.

'Me too," I thought. Well, I thought I thought it, but as it turns out it slipped out right on past my lips and came out in a murmur. I could hope she didn't hear it, but the look on her face assured me she had. I know I joked about stealing her from under Jack's nose, but it didn't feel like a joke anymore. It felt inevitable.

Check me, assuming that this woman would be interested. I mean, I am hotter than Jack at the very least. I definitely have better hair than him… and in my humble opinion, my personality is way better than his. Which made me wonder…

'Hey,' I speak up, deciding to get back in control of this situation, 'how did you meet Jack anyway?'

She smiles at me as she slides a heaping plate of Chinese food across the counter in my direction.

"How does anyone meet in this day and age?"

I nod sagely. Indeed. 'Of course it was on an app.'

"How did you meet?" she retorts.

I laugh. I could let it hang, but the reality was I had met Jack the exact same way… which was how I met all of my lays. 'An app, of course. That was my way long before quarantine. Can you even imagine having to make conversation with a stranger in a bar before you get the chance to filter them? Nightmare.'

She nods in agreement and crunches into her egg roll, chewing contemplatively.

'Having said that,' I start the sentence before I'd really decided exactly how it would unfold and now that I had I was feeling intense pangs of regret, but I continued anyway. 'I haven't had much luck with my online filter. Last night I fucked a guy who bathed in Axe body spray and I still feel queasy. All I could think about was a cold compress for my head and ginger ale. I couldn't wait for him to get off me. I have tons of sex, but the only way I orgasm is if I do it myself.'

Carina laughed. "I want to say my sex life is different, but it isn't."

'I spent years having sex with Jack so I know exactly what your sex life looks like right now.'

Her fork paused midair. "Oh, I'm not having sex with Jack."

I stare at her. That sounds like something Jack would know, but he represented the situation very differently just hours ago. Should I tell her he had implied they'd been fucking? 'Does Jack know that?'

She nods, "I mean, yeah, I was pretty clear with him that I was just in the market for friends after recently moving to the area."

I sit up straight. I am suddenly very aware that this woman might be interested in me sexually and I am wearing a bright pink sweatsuit covered in pineapples. A clear error on my part.

'Who have you been having sex with?' Oh, Maya, what is wrong with your stupid mouth?! I mean sure, great way to find out what she's into, but at least be subtle about it you ass.

"Myself."

Lucky.

'You know best what you like, right?'

She maintains eye contact as her fork finally makes it to her mouth. She nods in agreement, "You have no idea."

Oh, but I'd like to. My mouth is suddenly so painfully dry and I briefly wonder whether I say that to myself or out loud. I had priors, but I can't think about it too long because I'm busy trying to work up enough saliva to swallow and it's a struggle. I buy time by taking a long drink before toying with the rice on my plate.

We fall into a companionable silence as we finish dinner. It was just better this way. She would have time to judge me silently and plot her escape and I would have time to plan my next move… if she hasn't already ran away by that point.

'So, you're new to town, huh? Where did you move from?'

"Well, you may have noticed I have a touch of an accent."

I found myself nodding because she had finally given me the opening I need. I've been desperate to guess she was Italian since she first spoke, but was too scared to take the risk of getting it wrong.

"I moved from Arkansas but I was in Georgia before that."

'A southern belle, that would explain why you're so polite.' I said it without missing a beat. If she could play a game about her accent, I could play a game too.

She raised an eyebrow at me, "That's just one side of me."

I gulp. Oh, look at that, I was swallowing without a second thought again.

"What do you do for a living?" I ask and I almost wish I hadn't because I didn't exactly have much to discuss on that front. The already completed application for the fire department was still hidden in the top drawer of my nightstand, right beneath my vibrator. Unfortunately, my priorities were fucked up and the vibrator got the most attention. I might have been unemployed, but I could definitely afford the stamp to send it in. I was just scared of failing.

"OBGYN," Carina said with a smile.

Maya nodded thoughtfully. Of course she was beautiful and smart when I am desperately unemployed and still living with my ex.

"You?" Carina had such a genuine look on her face I felt bad for how I was about to disappoint her. "Uh, I'm between gigs right now." I just kept nodding my head as though that was a normal situation to be in in my line of work. I guess it technically was given my line of work is unemployment.

'What kind of hobbies are you into? Are you outdoorsy or?' I ask, hoping she doesn't press on my employment situation.

She shrugs, "I'm from the south so I'm fond of hunting, fishing, and hiking. Well, I don't really hunt these days," she paused before smirking.

I couldn't help but narrow my eyes. This lady was definitely fucking with me now. 'Okay, what gives?'

"What do you mean?"

"Acting like you're southern when you obviously have an Italian accent."

Carina laughed and god, the sound was doing something for her. "I did move here from Arkansas and I was in Georgia before that, I was traveling for work a lot. I spent a lot of time in Chicago too and I was tired of being on the road. My brother lives here so I came here."

That made a lot of sense and she couldn't really argue with that. "What kinda stuff are you into really?" It had been a while since I'd done so much work offline. Normally, I met someone and moved to sex as quickly as possible. I did all the hard work online so I could get what we all came for.

"I like the beach, I like the water, and I like hot tubs."

'I don't have a hot tub, but the bath does have jets.'

She laughs. "Oh yeah?"

I wiggle my eyebrows wordlessly. I don't want to scare her away too quickly.

'Can I get you a drink?' I shake my glass at her.

"I'll have what you're having."

I pour her drink and slide it across the counter as she had done with my dinner plate.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" I find myself asking even though that was not the question I really wanted to ask. "Or skip right to the end where we go to bed together?" I play it off as a joke, but I think she knows there's a serious invitation in there.

Carina hummed, as though she was genuinely trying to decide between the two options. "We will end up in bed together anyway, why fast forward through a potentially lovely evening together?"

As I considered what that might mean for making out on the couch, Carina closes the gap between us, planting a searing kiss on my mouth. I guess that answers any question I might have had about the rest of the evening. The tip of her tongue teases at my upper lip and I am only more than happy to open my mouth to deepen the kiss.

Take that, Jack… and every other terrible lay since the breakup.

I wouldn't say I'm a bottom per se, I'd like to think I switch it up based on my partner. Who isn't weak for a man who loves getting pegged, am I right?

Having said that, Carina has clearly decided for me in this very moment. She pushes me against the kitchen counter, starting to undress me as she does. She is rough, but not in the bad kind of way… at least, I hope that's not where this is going. Oh fuck, my luck isn't that bad, is it? I silently pray to Aphrodite. As it turns out, I do not need to worry.

There are points at which I feel sure she has eight arms. How is she touching me everywhere all at once? I feel her nails on my stomach, but they're somehow scratching my back and scalp at the same time and I don't know how she's doing it, but I don't care. I just want more.

"Should I take you right here?" she asks. I almost laugh at the serious look on her face, that she is so dialed in and I'm the lucky benefactor.

I consider the question for a moment.

'Do you know what I've never done?'

"What?" she whispers, her mouth whispering kisses all over my neck and collarbone.

"I have never fucked on that couch."

She glances at the only couch in the living room and picks me up. Well, she tried to pick me up, she didn't get very far, but I love that she tried. She walks me backward, continuing to kiss me as she navigates the space. She lays me flat on my back, wrapping her arms around me as she does.

"I don't wanna blow this, but I have been thinking about doing this since I first met you on my way out this morning."

'I don't wanna blow it more, but I thought about you when I masturbated in the shower earlier.'

She gasps, a smile playing on her lips. "It's my right to know every time you masturbate with me in mind. I will expect a text in future."

I nod slowly in agreement, 'If you're good I might include a picture.'

It was her turn to gasp. I smile. Nice to get a win in early.

As we stare at each other, her hand finds its way into my underwear. Fuck foreplay I guess. Though, if I was being completely honest… I was ready and raring to go. Oh. She really isn't wasting time. Her fingers hit the spot directly and she obviously has plenty of practice since she's only been with herself recently and it shows.

My body shudders almost immediately, she obviously knows exactly what is coming. For once, I was in the hands of a fucking professional and I was ready to come hard. And, I did. Her fingers were unrelenting, the only respite was when she slipped two fingers inside me, as though she was pulling me away from the edge I was about to drop off of. God, the way I felt I could tell it was a steep drop. I didn't have much time to rest, her thumb was back to finger my clit.

I would like to say I was calm and collected, but when I came it was with a dramatic whimper because I was so exhausted I didn't have the energy for much else. She smiled, kissing my forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin before returning to my mouth for more. Her fingers were still between my legs, buried inside me, and at this point their presence was a comfort, but if she applied any more pressure I'd probably die.

She kissed me thoroughly finally slipping her hand free, maintaining eye contact as she licked my cum from one finger before sticking the others in my mouth. I suddenly have enough energy to vocalize exactly how aroused I am. She keeps her fingers in my mouth until I comply with her unspoken desire and I suck them clean. Her tongue replaces her fingers quickly and I wonder how exactly I was going to top this performance.

She pulls her shirt off over her head and starts unbuttoning her jeans. I watch with interest as she hops off the couch to kick off her jeans and pull her panties off. She smirks at me as she shifts her attention to fully undressing me as well. Once our clothes are strewn about the living room she settles on top of me, pressing herself against me, setting a steady pace. I could feel how wet she was as she rubbed against me, and I could feel how wet I was getting in response.

Thank you Jack for meeting random queer women on the internet and inviting them home.

When I see that she is close to climax I slip a hand between us, using my fingers to drive her over the edge. She shifts to all fours, hovering above me and I stare down between us as my fingers get to work. She is dripping wet, I can literally see her dripping onto my stomach, the sight of the string joining us together is pushing me to push her harder.

Her arms buckle beneath her as she reaches climax and I use my free hand to grab her by the cheeks and kiss her in what can only be described as all tongue. She collapses on top of me, her legs joining her arms in giving out. She presses firmly against me sweaty, breathing heavily and I can't help but deepen the kiss. We break apart sighing heavily.

'Well, that was something.'

Her face was buried in my neck now and her hot breath was insistent as she fought to get herself under control.

"Was it okay?" her voice was muffled against my skin.

'Okay? It was fantastic. I actually came again watching you.'

She laughs softly, lifting her head so she can look me in the eye, "Seriously?"

I shrug, 'I don't want you to get a big head, but yeah, you should masturbate in the mirror some time. You'll see why.'

Her mouth finds mine again, this time for a gentle kiss. A recovery kiss. The kiss of congratulations after mutual orgasm. My favorite type of kiss. Achievement unlocked.

'I am so glad you turned up at my door.'

She laughs. "You're glad? You have no idea how happy I am right now. I forgot how fun sex can be with someone who actually knows what they're doing."

That was enough to elicit a cackle from me. 'There's just one small problem.'

She sits up and looks at me seriously, "What? Did I do something wrong?"

'No,' I find myself shaking my head, slightly amused at the look of concern on her face, 'The problem is very much yours because I'm going to want to do that every time I see you.'

"You're seeing me right now."

I nod, 'and I'm aroused," I say. "So, you see the problem.'

She smiled, pulling me in for another messy kiss. "I fail to see the problem, Maya."

Chapter Text

After the evening I had with Carina, I had come to a decision. My sex problem was not my problem, it was clear that I hadn't lost my skills. The problem was with my decision-making process. I made terrible choices about who to sleep with and that was going to change.

I was officially ditching men and from here on out, I was only interested in dating women.

Why was I bisexual if not to fuck women when single?

I had experimented in high school and college, sure, but I hadn't fully come to terms with my sexuality before I met Jack and "settled down". This was my opportunity to fully explore the bi in my sexuality.

While I was desperate to know where things stood with Carina, I didn't want to scare her away. She went home after round three. Or was it four? I didn't want to assume that she was interested in seeing me again. Though, I was fairly confident she did. I mean… I did a real good job at pleasing her, but just because she wants to see me again doesn't mean she's interested in building a long-term relationship. It was only right that I explored my options and that meant making some changes to my dating profiles.

If that resulted in casual sex with beautiful women, well, who was I to stand in the way of personal growth?

Over breakfast, I reviewed each of my dating profiles and made the necessary adjustments to attract solely women for the time being. It didn't take long for the messages to roll in. I shake my head spooning another bite of cereal into my mouth.

"Unbelievable, I can't believe I've been missing out on so many attractive people all to have terrible sex with basic ass men."

Jack appears from his bedroom, hand down the front of his sweats as he joins me in the kitchen.

"You talking to yourself again?"

"Maybe I am. Are you touching yourself again?"

He laughs. "Someone has to."

I smile at that. "You off today? It's late."

He nodded his head, "Those of us who were never off during lockdown are getting a few days off. Now that the band is back together it's time for those of us who kept playing to get a bit of a break."

"What are your plans for your time off?" I barely look up from the message I'm reading.

"Video games, beer, and junk food," he smiled as he poured a bowl of children's cereal.

"Normally I'd make fun of you for wasting your time, but you've earned some down time."

"How's the job hunt coming?"

I finally look up, a smile on my face, "Well! That is good news actually. I got something. Transcriptionist. I get to work from home, on my own schedule, and they're sending out all of the information and equipment I'll need."

It wasn't as good as submitting the fire department application, but it was something.

"Fantastic. Does it pay well?"

"Better than my last job so I can't complain. Had I known it was a possibility I could have skipped the student debt."

A slow grin lights his face up, but he doesn't laugh.

"Sorry, I forgot you don't know what student debt looks like."

He sticks his tongue out at me and saunters off to the couch to finish his cereal. "What are you doing anyway?"

"I am finding women to date."

His entire body swivels to look at me. "You what now?"

"I have decided that I am only dating women from here on out and so I'm going to find a beautiful date for this afternoon."

"Well, after your date do you wanna have dinner with me and maybe watch a movie or play video games?"

"I will consider it. I don't want to make any promises and then get caught up eating pussy. That might hurt your feelings." I have no idea why I was saying these things out loud, I had literally eaten one pussy in my life right up until my afternoon with Carina.

He laughs, "I wouldn't mind if you maybe sent some photos."

"Don't be disgusting, Jack, I was just starting to like you again."

I wash my dishes before heading to the bathroom to start my day off right – with a hot, bubble bath.

"I'm going to beautify myself now," I smile, closing the door and my vision of Jack's curious face.

Just a few hours later I find myself sitting across from arguably the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Well, maybe after Carina. While I consider myself fairly attractive I am confused as to why Maggie agreed to meet me. It doesn't take long to realize why. She is as dull as she is beautiful and I don't think I can hear another word about the exciting world of corporate finance law. It might sound fascinating on its face, but I now know it's a big fat lie. It's shit and I can't believe this woman won't stop talking about it like it was a Taylor Swift concert.

I smile through the tears of boredom I can feel collecting at the corners of each eye and decide to change the subject. "So what do you do for fun?"

She inclines her head slightly to the right and looks me in the eye. "Is this not fun?"

It's a trap. It feels like a trap. Tread lightly.

I smile. "I just meant aside from this. Like, gardening, cooking, or sports or something."

I have no idea why the fuck I would choose gardening and cooking, those felt like old people hobbies, but she was waxing poetically about the intricacies of corporate law, so there was some evidence she would have dull hobbies.

She nods, taking a long sip from her drink. "What do you do for fun?"

Cagey. Okay. She does not have fun.

"Well," I shrug, "I spend most of my spare time fucking if I'm being honest. It's been a rough year."

Maggie laughs.

Okay, maybe she's not dull. Maybe she's just nervous and I have provided her with an in.

"I could stand to make more time for that," she says honestly.

Which sounded like a positive change of subject, but it took her just seconds to start talking about work again. Fuck. Give it a rest, lady.

I didn't give Maggie an indication she'd hear from me again before rushing off to meet my second date of the afternoon. Arizona seems much more promising immediately. She's a breath of fresh air in comparison to the suffocating conversation Maggie served up. I stand to greet her and she gives me a hug, offering a light peck on each cheek.

Oh fuck, she smells so good. Focus Maya, focus.

She smiles as she settles across from me. It is dazzling and highlights brilliant white teeth in two perfect rows. So, she's basically perfect. Before I can open my mouth to speak the waiter arrives. Arizona orders a cafe bon bon and I stick with a fruity herbal tea because I'm already amped up. I silently hope she is as sweet as the condensed milk in the hot beverage she ordered.

"How has your day been?" she's the one to break the ice. Of course she is, I'm too busy lost in my own dumb thoughts as though she has time for me to silently narrate this entire date. Smarten up, idiot.

"Not bad. I got good news this morning. I've been out of work since the pandemic and I finally found something new."

"That's great! Congratulations. When do you start?"

"Next week. They need to send me all the equipment. Transcriptionist. I can work from home and set my hours."

"Awesome. I've been working from home for years and as much as I appreciate it, when this all kicked off I started getting cabin fever by the afternoon."

"What do you do?"

The waiter arrives and as he places our drinks in front of us I watch her carefully. She's girl next door attractive. The type of girl I constantly crush on, ever since the literal girl next door moved away and broke my heart when I was 13.

"Well, I'm a telephone nurse. I handle case management, authorize treatment, and educate patients."

"I had no idea that was a thing!"

She nods, "Yep. I left hospitals behind and embraced the telephone. The only Millennial to ever embrace phone calls by choice."

I laugh at that, aside from telephone interviews, I haven't made a phone call in years, but I was pretty sure she wasn't a Millennial either, so that might be why she was so cool with the telephone.

"What do you do for fun?"

This time the question comes from Arizona and I smile to myself.

I lift my shirt slightly to show off a toned stomach. "I exercise a lot."

She laughs, clearly appreciative of the insinuation that wasn't subtle. "When we went into lockdown I realized that my bad habits were going to be the death of me unless I started getting physical. I started doing yoga, sit-ups, weights, everything. I won't say it's an obsession, but it is something I spend a lot of time doing. Thought I'd be a firefighter or something. What about you? What do you do in your spare time?" I tried to push away my doubts about the application I hadn't turned in yet.

"I also spend a lot of time on my back," she smiles, "But, I am talking about fucking."

I choke on the drink of herbal tea I was trying to swallow, cheeks turning bright red. Jesus fucking wept. This woman. I smile, attempting to collect myself, "Really?" Slow and steady wins the race, Maya, bring this one home. "Never on top? That surprises me." Smooth recovery, Maya, fucking nailed it.

She's still smiling, the tip of her index finger running around the lip of her glass. "Power bottom seeks service top."

Oh wow, thank you, universe. Give us this day our daily bread indeed. No need to forgive my sins.

"I play in any position, so I'm happy to play the role of service top. I'll even come off the bench."

As I bid Arizona goodbye I quietly wonder if this is the woman who will be the damn death of me. I sure fucking hope so.

I collapse on the couch in a sigh.

Jack sits on the couch next me and pauses his video game to smile in my direction. "So, how was your date?"

I sigh. "Which one?"

Jack raises an eyebrow, "What do you mean? How many dates did you have?"

"Two."

"God, I haven't had sex in like a year and you're just out there railing everyone," Jack sighs. "What's your secret?"

"I don't have a secret. I also didn't have any sex this afternoon, but I can make a suggestion that should help you. If you want to fuck a woman again don't aim your sights on lesbians who are looking to make friends."

He laughed, "First of all, Carina is bisexual," he clarified, "But hey, we hit it off and friends are cool too."

I nod as I watch him attempt to hide his blush.

I want for him to unpause his game. Just at a critical moment, I choose to speak up. "She is also very good with her mouth."

His head shot up and his jaw dropped as his character dropped dead in front of him. His controller was on the floor, game forgotten. "Seriously? You had sex with Carina?"

I nod again, "More than once, Jack. I rode her face to the hardest orgasm of my life."

His head titled to one side and his eyes narrowed, "Am I bad in bed? We were together for a long time and you never once rode my face."

I shrugged and made a face, "I wouldn't say you were bad... lazy would be more accurate. You never once offered to let me sit on your face, Jack. I used to gargle your balls and suck you dry in hopes you'd reciprocate, but you barely wanted to go down on me. Penetration is not what gets women off. While you rolled over and fell asleep, I would take matters into my own hand and finish myself off."

His face fell, "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I don't know, men are so sensitive about their bedroom performance and I didn't want to hurt your feelings or anything. You have a nice penis, okay, there's just more work required than a dicking."

"This might explain why every girl before you was nothing more than a one night stand."

I frown at him. "You're not a bad guy, you know. You're just not good for me."

He nodded, "Let me make it up to you."

"How are you going to make it up to me?"

"Give me another chance to make you scream."

"You want to have sex?" My eyebrows are raised, face incredulous.

"Yes," he is nodding insistently, "Let me have one night. We never did that. Every couple has one last fuck with each other. You can correct me until your heart is content and guide me where you want me and I will use this one night to make up for the four years you spent without an orgasm."

You laugh. "Oh, I orgasmed plenty, Jack… with myself. I mean, you were there. Just, asleep."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. I couldn't believe it, but I was incredibly tempted to take him up on his offer. Look, I don't need the sex, but I would be doing a kindness for womankind. The next woman Jack dates deserves to orgasm and I said it myself, he isn't a bad guy. He just needed a little bit of guidance and maybe some help on the confidence front. Having sex with Jack would be a charitable act. Besides, Arizona's flirting had left me… in dire need.

While the wheels in my head turned, Jack's hand made its way up my thigh and I could feel my body respond instantly. The more sex I have the more I fucking want it. It's an absolute curse. A horny damn curse.

"I will agree to this, but only if you promise to eat my pussy until I cum."

He nodded in agreement. "Yes, ma'am."

"I want to cum more than once," I nod until he nods back.

"You have to agree to do whatever I tell you to do." I'm turning myself on now.

"Okay, I will. Just show me where you want me."

"Take your clothes off," it's a command more than a request. "and when you're done you can take mine off." I sit back on the couch casually, eyes watching as he stood to pull off his shirt and unbutton his jeans. He pulled them off and reached for me.

"Ah ah ah." I held a finger up. "Boxers too."

I could see the pitch of his tent and I wanted to see it in person. He hurriedly pushed his boxers down over his hips, shaking them off, his dick bouncing.

Still a nice dick.

I made eye contact, my finger still in the air. "Before you undress me, let me see you stroke yourself."

He nods in agreement, immediately gripping his cock in his hand as he strokes himself in response to my command.

"Good boy."

I stand, moving closer. "Undress me." I said it low, with a growl. He needs to know I'm in charge, but he doesn't need to be asked twice. He let go of his dick and immediately starts pulling my clothes off. He just stares at me once the job is done, awaiting his next orders.

"Let me see you on your knees," I instructed him. He dropped to his knees immediately, eyes wandering up the entirety of my body until he met mine. He hasn't seen me naked in months and I've been exercising a lot. He could clearly see the fruits of my labor. My hand dropped to his head, fingers tugging through his hair as I lifted a leg over his shoulder and guided him where I wanted him, spreading my lips to make way for his tongue.

As his tongue started to explore his eyes remain fixed on mine. This is already more effort than he made in the four years we were together and I appreciate how seriously he is taking it, even if it was way too late to save our relationship. Saying that, I was never brave enough to communicate about what I wanted so some of the blame is mine and it was only in separating from him that I explored sexually to figure out what I liked. Ugh, relationships suck.

He finally remembers he has hands and gets them involved in the party, grabbing my thighs to hold me still while his tongue worked even harder. This is the third time he's ever done this for me and I'm reminded that he's not half bad at it. I tugged his hair harder, grinding against his mouth. I can see the smirk on his face and as mad as its making me, it's not making me mad enough to stop him. It's only making me mad enough to push him harder. So, I do. I knock him onto the floor, onto his back, and sit on his face. His hands grip my thighs, spreading me wider as his tongue pushes inside me and his nose bumps against my clit.

I whimper, grinding against him trying to speed up my climax. He's laughing now, so into my excitement he can barely contain himself. One of his hands left my thigh and I knew exactly where it was going and as much as I wanted to instruct him to not touch himself I'm too close to climax to break concentration. I have one hand tangled in his hair and the other on the couch as I try to keep my balance as I fuck his face. But I was struggling as my knees started to tremble as he sucked, nibbled, and licked at my clit. In one move, he pinned me against the couch and buried his face even deeper, pushing me to climax.

As I recover he lifts me onto the couch and smiles. "I realize I played the last four years all wrong. That was… a lot of fun."

I nod, watching as he licks his lips. His face is coated in my cum and he makes no move to wipe any of it away. He looks down at his erection and smiles back up at me. "Want to watch me take care of this? Or, do you want me to use it on you?"

"I want to watch," I don't even need to think twice. It's kind of poetic really. The tables have been turned. I have been fully satisfied and now he has to finish himself off like I did all those years.

He nods, stroking himself as I watch, his breath shaky as he realizes just how close he is. "Can I finish on your tits?"

I shake my head, "No, I want you to finish on your own tits."

He laughs, his body jerking a little at the command. Oh, he's into that.

"If you get some of it in your mouth and swallow it, I'll give you a reward."

His eyes widen, his hips bucking forward as his free hand slips to play with his balls. "Yes, ma'am."

I could see from his face that he was getting closer and as he did I started to play with myself. There's something about the way he touches himself that really does it for me and I always have room for another orgasm.

"Hey," my voice is stern and his eyes immediately meet mine. "Eyes up here when you cum, Jack." He's touching himself for my entertainment, not the other way around. He's groaning now, eyes squeezed shut as he edges nearer release.

"Open your eyes," I command and as he does he finishes. His attempt to get in his mouth was admirable, but it was nowhere close. I can see the disappointment on his face, even though he had no idea what the reward would have been. I smile at him and he watches as I spread my legs, pushing my own buttons harder as I edge closer to another orgasm. There he stands directly in front of me, cum running down his chest, dripping from the tip of his dick, and covering his hand. His face still covered in my pussy juice and I am cumming for the second time in minutes. Thanks to this man I unceremoniously dumped after four years of bad sex. This is what it could have been like. If only I'd spoken up sooner.

"Can I eat you out again?"

I might have created a monster, but I smile at him, simply spreading my legs even wider in invitation. "If you put in as much effort as you did earlier you can eat me anytime you want. Even if I'm married for 15 years, you can knock on my door and eat my pussy whenever you feel like it."

His dick twitches at that and he drops to his knees in front of me. "I don't know about all that, but right now your pussy is all I can think about."

Chapter Text

As I came to consciousness I was aware of needles that had moved in directly behind my eyelids. I don't understand why I feel hungover when I am almost positive I did not allow any alcohol to pass my lips last night.

I groan, rolling onto my side to crack an eye open to check the time. As I do I am suddenly reminded of what did pass my lips last night. I groan louder. You're a dumbass, Maya. Of the highest order. Why do I this to myself? Things with Jack had just started getting back to normal and I had to let my libido go and stomp all over the delicate balance of our now peaceful atmosphere.

It's not like it wasn't enjoyable… it's just that… it was terrible, horrible, no good, very bad decision I made that could potentially sabotage my chance at a relationship with Carina. Or Arizona. Or literally anyone I meet who finds out I casually fuck the ex I still live with. A totally normal situation that anyone would just love to get involved with.

I sigh and swipe my phone open to find a message from Carina. Oh God, she's fucking adorable.

I'm aware that there's generally a three-day waiting period in these situations, like to look cool or not at all desperate or whatever, buuuuuuuuuut I'm not cool and I am a little desperate. So, hey.

I smile. She is a tremendous dork and I love it.

I send what I hope is a clever response and stretch as I await her reply. I don't need to wait long. Just two little texts are enough to send my heart soaring and erase the regret of the evening before. And my day was about to get better because Carina was free and she was coming right to my door.

Carina arrives just as Jack was pouring a bowl of cereal. He greets her as he would any friend, but as he watches her greet me I could see the look on his face. He looks disappointed. I'm not sure whether to read into that, but he was either disappointed I stole his friend, disappointed he wasn't invited, or disappointed that I was seeing the woman I had recently slept with. I didn't have time to worry about that though because the woman I had recently slept with was standing right in front of me.

"I'd like to spend the entire day with you," Carina admits, "but I have work later. I just thought we could have a little catch up and chill."

I smile at her as she inches closer, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to my lips. Oh. This feels different from last time. Romantic even.

"So, how's life been since we last met?" she asks with a smile.

I sigh, grabbing her hand and dragging her to my bedroom.

"I'm going to tell you something and I need you to withhold judgment until I let it all out."

She raises an eyebrow, "Oh my God, what did you do?"

"I'm not going to drag this out," I sigh, more worried about how painful it was going to be for me. "I decided I wasn't going to fuck men anymore so I explored the wonderful world of women on dating apps. So, I went out and met a couple of people yesterday. One was awful, one was fun. I got home and was talking to Jack about it and he wanted to have sex. I, being the generous kindhearted person I am, gave into his wishes."

She laughed loudly, "You get to fuck, you get to fuck, you get to fuck! Like Oprah, but with sex. I dig it."

I shake my head "Anyway, it was stupid and I wish I hadn't, but it's too late to undo it. I'm worried it's gonna be weird between us."

Carina sighs, "I don't want to worry you, but the first time we hung out… he spent a lot of time talking about you. I got the impression that he's not over you."

I lean my head against my palm and take a deep breath. "So you see my problem."

She shrugs, moving to wrap her arms around my waist. "I see a problem, but I also see the solution."

"What's that?" I ask, moving to slip my arms around her neck.

"You sit down and have a conversation about what happened and you work it out like adults."

I sigh dramatically, "That sounds like it sucks."

She laughs, pushing my hair away from my face trailing kisses from behind my ear down to my collar bone. "In the meantime, we can also have an adult conversation."

"Oh yeah?" She has my attention. In full.

I can feel her lips against the shell of my hear, her breath hot, "I don't have time for the full show, but I can get you started. Maybe Jack could finish you off," she teased. "I wouldn't mind if you sent me pics." She pushes me onto the bed, climbing on top of me, pressing me firmly into the mattress. "So, tell me about these people you met yesterday."

I might, if I can catch my breath.

Carina unbuttons my shirt, reacquainting herself with what lies beneath.

"First there was Maggie," I explain trying to focus on forcing words out of my mouth while Carina's mouth explores every inch of my torso.

She makes a noise to encourage me to continue and I let my fingers tangle in her hair.

"She was a lot. Incredibly beautiful, but just as dull. She seemed nice, but I don't enjoy long conversations about the nuances of corporate law."

Carina laughs, keeping her mouth working constantly.

"Then there was Arizona who was actually a lot of fun."

Carina's head snapped up. "Arizona?"

I nod, "Mmhm, she's a telephone nurse."

Carina was still staring at me, now she was nodding. "Yeah, I know her."

I sat up, trying to act casual, leaning back on my elbows to prop myself up. "You do?"

Carina nodded.

"Is she… your ex?"

Carina shook her head.

"Is she… your friend?"

She shook her ahead again.

"Your co-worker? Cousin? Sister?" I hoped it wasn't one of those last two because that would make things too awkward.

She was still shaking her head though so I'm taking that as confirmation that they are not related.

I pushed myself up until we were face to face. "Should I not see her again?"

She was staring into my eyes and I didn't know her well enough yet to read the look on her face. "Carina?" my hands cupped her cheeks, thumbs rubbing gently, in an attempt to coax her to open up.

"You can see whoever you like," she said, her head was shaking slightly as if to wake herself up from whatever world she had briefly visited.

"How do you know Arizona?"

"We dated, but we weren't together. And, it was years ago."

I made a face, "I thought you only just moved to town?"

She nodded, "I did, but I knew her from before. I spent a lot of time in Chicago and she lived in Chicago. When I was in town we would hook up. I found out she was here when I saw her face appear on one of the apps."

"Small world," I smile, with one hand still cupping her cheek. "I don't have to see her if it makes you uncomfortable. I know we're not like… a thing. At least, not yet anyway, but I don't want to see someone who upsets you."

She shakes her head, "No, it's fine. It's just that it really is a small world and hearing her name caught me off guard. It's fine."

"What happened between you?"

She shrugs, "I was interested in a relationship and she wasn't. It was a long time ago, we were young, and I was caught up in the romance of it."

I let my hand fall from her cheek to tangle in the front of her shirt as I pull her into a deep kiss. "She sounds dumb."

Carina laughed as she kissed me back, pushing me onto the mattress. "She's not dumb, I'm sure you two will have fun."

"I want to have fun right now. With you."

"I'd best make it quick then."

Jack wanders into the living room, looking around to ensure I'm alone. I raise an eyebrow at him waiting for him to say whatever it is that's on his mind.

"You alone?" he asks, trying to act casually, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"I sure am," I answer, "Carina has to work."

He nods, sitting on the end of the couch. "You got a minute to talk?"

I shrug, "Sure, I guess."

"I just wanted to talk about what happened last night."

I nod slowly, and I hate to be dramatic but I swear to god I can hear the Imperial March playing in the distance. This is it. The goddamn consequences of my actions. Oh yeah, I laughed it up while I was sowing, but here comes the inevitable reaping I tried to pretend would never come my way. Fucking idiot, Maya, stupid moron.

I realize Jack is staring at me, is he waiting for an answer? Because he didn't actually ask a question.

"You know what," I hear myself saying. "I don't think we need to talk about last night. I had a lot of fun, but that's all it was. You know? We probably shouldn't have done it, but we're both adults and we're mature enough to deal with a casual hookup. Right?"

He's nodding, but I can see from his face that he disagrees.

"What is it?" I ask, knowing full well I don't want to hear his response.

He moves to sit next to me and takes my hand in his. "I disagree."

Well duh.

"It didn't just feel like old times, Maya, it felt better than old times. We have always had fun together, but last night was mindblowing. I realize now how much I took you for granted. In the bedroom, that is."

"Jack, that's not why we broke up!"

"Isn't it? Wasn't your problem with me that I didn't put enough effort in in the bedroom?"

I sigh. "You didn't put enough effort in anywhere, bedroom included. I think we're better off as friends and aside from the slip-up last night, I think the friendship we've been working on has been really cool."

"I thought so too, but last night? Last night was spectacular. I had a wet dream this morning. I haven't had a wet dream in forever."

I make a face at him. "A wet dream is not a reason to reconcile."

He shrugs helplessly. "I'm serious, Maya," he squeezes my hand. "I want to try again. Take me back."

It's my turn to shrug helplessly, if not a little hopelessly. "It's not a good idea." I touch his face. He's a good guy really, I just don't think we're the right people for each other. I pull him into a hug and press a kiss to his cheek. "I think we're better off friends."

He sighs into my hair as he hugs tighter. "At least consider what life could be like if we got back together." He pulls back to look at me and waits for me to nod before getting up to go back to his room.

I stare after him.

Well, Maya, this is a problem for future us.

My phone vibrated, snapping me out of my trance. I glanced down to see Arizona's name appear on my screen. I answered the phone with a smile, looking forward to whatever plans she had for my evening.

We could argue about the morality of my decision. No, Carina and I weren't in a relationship, but I did really like her and I would not be opposed to being in a relationship with her. But, she did say it was totally fine to see Arizona. If she really didn't want me to she would have said so. Right? It's not like she would have hesitated to make such a demand simply because we'd only just met and she didn't want to come off as overbearing. Or, well, actually… that is probably exactly what happened, isn't it? That does sound accurate. Well, that was a problem for future Maya, I had an appointment with an incredibly attractive woman.

A couple hours later I was standing outside the door of a nice apartment waiting for Arizona to welcome me in. She opened the door wide and greeted me with a smile. Any regret or apprehension I felt faded away as she slipped an arm around my waist and guided me to her balcony.

"What can I get you to drink?" she smiled, gesturing for me to sit.

"I'll have wine if that's what you're having."

"It is what I'm having," she smiles, lifting a bottle of red from a rack behind her makeshift bar. "Is red okay or would you prefer white?"

"Tell me more about that red and I'll decide from there."

"Are you a wine snob?" she asks, uncorking the bottle before pouring herself a glass.

I shake my head and she smiles, "It's a merlot. Though, I prefer it directly from France this one is from California. I've had it before, it's delicious."

I nod and she pours into my glass. "I prefer dry wines," I share, "I just wanted to make sure it was appropriate for my tastes."

Arizona's eyebrow raised. "Interesting."

"I'm glad you came, I know it was short notice."

I shrug, "Life has been turned upside down and until my job starts I'm footloose and fancy free."

"I like the sound of you being loose. So, have you had a good day?" she asks, taking a long sip from her glass.

I shrug, "Well, I hung out with my friend Carina this morning. Then I had an incredibly awkward conversation with my ex and then a superhero swooped in to save me from an incredibly awkward evening with said ex."

I could see her eyes on me, questioning and incisive. I wondered which part of the bait she would take. Would she zero in on Carina or would she be too curious about my ex to ignore it.

"What happened with your ex?"

Oh, damn.

I shrug, "We slept together last night and his mind was so blown by the experience that he thinks we should get back together… and I disagree."

Arizona grimaced. "Yikes."

I nod in agreement, "Yes. Oh, we also happen to live together because I lost my job and couldn't afford to move out. It'll probably be a while before I can. So now I get to stew in that discomfort. My friend cheered me up a bit, but that's another part of the story."

"Tell me," she encourages with a small smile.

I nod, sipping my drink. "Well, Jack, that's my ex, met Carina on some app. I thought they were.. ya know… but they were just hanging out as friends and I slept with her. So, now it's…"

"Complicated?" she asked.

"Kind of. Aren't you glad you invited me over?"

She nodded, "I'm incredibly glad I invited you over. It sounds like you're pretty easy."

I laughed loudly in response to that. "I am actually, which bodes well for your evening."

She drained her glass and sat it on the table between us. "Should I waste any more time making conversation or did you just want to take this to the bedroom? I promise to be gentle. Unless you like it rough."

I smile and shrug, "I think I'll make you work a little harder for it."

"Okay, so tell me about your friend Carina."

"She's incredibly hot. She's an OBGYN and I'll be honest, I have no idea what all that entails but it sounds important. She is incredibly hot, very good in bed, so good, and a total dork."

"So hot you mentioned it twice? She sounds like the Carina I know. Is she… southern?"

I hold back the laugh I desperately want to let loose and nod instead.

"But actually Italian?" She nods as I nod my head, "Did you already know that I know her?"

I shrug, "It may have come to my attention this morning when I mentioned your name to her."

"But you're still here."

"She spoke highly of you," I say honestly with a shrug, "She didn't tell me how good a lay you are though so she either didn't want me to know how good you are or you're awful and she didn't want to burst my bubble."

She laughed. "Are you ready to find out?"

"I'm not sure yet. Why don't you show me something now and let me decide from there?"

She stood moving to straddle my lap, "Right here?"

I nod, taking a quick look around. Sure, we were on a balcony but it seemed pretty private. I couldn't see any nosy neighbors anywhere in sight. "Yes, right here," I say with a smile, looking up at her hovering over me, slipping my hand behind her neck and pulling her into a kiss.

Oh hallelujah, she is competent! So competent, in fact, that it made me look forward to what else she could do with that tongue. Oh Maya, you have fucking done it again. Two women in the last week and both are more competent than any man you've slept with in the last year. Fuck yes, women, fuck yes! We really do do it better.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked pulling away from my mouth to pepper kisses across my throat instead.

"Hm. I am a bit of a connoisseur so I always have to taste test before I make my choice but yes, I do believe this is the variety I've been looking for. I can't wait to find out what else you do with your tongue."

She shifts from my lap and grabs me by the hand dragging me inside.

I was looking forward to seeing the sanctum sanctorum, but we didn't get that far. She pushed me onto the couch as soon as we were inside. I guess that insight would have to wait another day.

She pushed my legs apart, shoving my skirt up my thighs to find out that I came prepared and by prepared, I mean sans undies. Her eyes flick up to mine, eyebrows raised. "Oh wow, I feel lucky."

I laugh as I push hair from her face, sighing as her tongue dips between my legs. "Now who's lucky," I groan, spreading my legs further as her fingers spread my lips open.

"Hopefully we're both about to be," she said pulling away to press kisses to the insides of my thighs. She looks up to smile at me, the tip of her tongue teasing me.

"Then let's go," I tease, "You already know I can get it anywhere."

She laughs at that, diving back in with renewed vigor, slipping one, then two, then another finger inside me. She wasn't fucking around. Just as I could feel myself falling over the edge into a complete state of rapture she pulls away leaving me cold. I gasped at the sudden loss of her fingers and tongue. "Why are you doing this to me?" I pant in question.

She smiles, moving to straddle me on the couch, one hand tugging firmly at my hair as the other slips back between my legs. My hands start exploring her body as she kisses me, with one quickly finding its mark. V marks the spot. She moans against my mouth, never letting up. I match her pace knowing if I push her too hard, my own race to an orgasm would stutter. I was happy to keep her happy and finish the job once she finishes me.

Arizona buries her face in my neck as she focuses her efforts on building me up. I could feel her teeth sinking in and struggle to keep my groan of pleasure back. Her hips buck forward at the sound and I let my fingers sink inside her as a reward, using my thumb against her clit. She drew back to look at me, a moan on her lips as she leans her forehead against mine.

"Can I watch you cum?" she asks, her breath growing heavy as I push deeper.

I nod, "A bit intimate for someone you're fucking on the second date, but if that's what gets you off, who am I to say no?"

"It does get me off," she whispered. "I want to see your eyes roll into the back of your head."

I make a noise I'm unfamiliar with. It was part laugh, part moan, "You think you're that good, don't you?" I ask.

Her fingers pick up pace and I fucking mewl in response. How pathetic of me and the sheer audacity of this woman. This cocky, arrogant, sexy fucking woman.

"I know I am," she whispers as she ghosts a kiss across my lips before pulling back to watch me fall apart.

"God, you're a lot of fun," she said smiling at me. "I can see what drew Carina to you."

I raise my eyebrow. "What's the deal with you two anyway?"

Arizona shrugs. "We were much younger and I was incredibly immature. Carina was always wiser, more with it, had a great job even then. She was ready for a relationship and I wasn't interested in settling down. I just wanted to hop from bed to bed. I didn't want to be tied down. I just wanted to have fun. It was as simple as that."

"She's a catch," I shrug back, " I bet present you thinks past you is a real moron."

She smiles, "Maybe part of yesterday me thinks that, but present me is having an incredibly difficult time looking beyond the woman in front of me. I mean, I can literally taste you on my lips."

I leaned in to lick her lips before pressing my mouth against hers. "Tastes like cotton candy."

Arizona deepens the kiss, still smiling against my lips. "You ready for another?"

"You fucking bet I am."

Chapter Text

I sigh, pouring another bowl of cereal as I wait for the coffee to brew. While I had successfully avoided Jack for the time being, I knew it was only a matter of time before he confronted me for an answer. How annoying. And honestly, rude, because who the fuck am I supposed to ask for advice about Arizona and Carina when the person who normally offers me advice wants in my pants? Just the most selfish man.

My phone buzzed on the counter and I could see it was a text message from Carina. I smiled at the thought of her, knowing it was likely a silly meme that would make me laugh. Carina was incredibly thoughtful, and also a giant dork who sent me a meme every morning to kickstart my day.

I swiped my phone open to see it was exactly that, a screenshot of a meme about stimulation check spending. I laughed, replying with a screenshot of my own. We exchange a few images before using actual words to converse. She wants to see me. I want to see her too. But, if things didn't work out between her and Arizona years ago because Arizona wasn't interested in a relationship, how long would Carina accept me playing the field? Sure, she was fine with me seeing Arizona before, but the more into each other we get, the more time we spend with each other, the more likely she is to want something concrete. I mean, how long do people see each other before they lock it down these days?

Jack appeared behind me, laying a hand on my shoulder making me jump.

"Sorry!" he immediately held his hands up. "You were so engrossed in your phone I thought speaking might have been scarier." he shrugs, pouring two cups of coffee, one he immediately pressed into my hand. He set about making breakfast for himself, carefully watching me out the corner of his eye.

"So, have you thought about our conversation?"

I shrugged. Helplessly. "I haven't really had time, I was busy having sex all night."

"What? With Carina again? Are you getting serious?"

"No, not with Carina, with Arizona."

"Who the hell is Arizona?"

"One of the women I went out with the other day."

He's nodding as he scoops another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "You just love to fuck, don't you?"

I shrug, "I love orgasms and it turns out when I have sex with women I tend to cum incredibly hard. I have missed out on years of sex with women so I'm making up for lost time."

"Do you like her?"

"She was a lot of fun."

"Do you like her more than you like Carina?"

I sigh. "I like them both a lot. They know each other, which has kind of complicated matters."

"What, like they're sisters?"

"Keep your twisted fantasies to yourself, Jack. They used to date. Years ago. It wasn't serious. One of them wanted it to be, the other didn't. They both happened to move here and," I shrug, "and I happened to meet and sleep with both of them. They know about each other. They're both fine with it, but you know, if I want to keep seeing them… at some point I'll have to choose, right? If one wanted something more serious years ago… they won't want to be in a casual tryst now."

He nodded slowly, "Just pick me and the one who is cool with casual. We'll be a triad."

"One of them is a lesbian."

"Well then you know who to choose," he sighed.

"Seriously, what should I do?"

"Well, take sex out of the equation. If you can, horn dog. Try to get to know each of them for real and see which one you click with more. One has to be a better fit, right? Or, neither and if it's neither," he leaves it hanging, waving his free hand toward himself. "I have a huge dick with your name on it."

I laugh. "Huge? You are a huge dick, you have a normal dick."

He pulled his boxers away from his skin and looked at himself with a face of intense concentration. "Well, it's normal right now, but when it's hard it's pretty huge."

I raise an eyebrow, "You say that as though I haven't fucked a bunch of random men since we broke up. I fucked some guy with a dick so big I thought it was going to tear me open. It was… the worst sex I have ever had in my entire life. I genuinely have no idea how he had enough blood in his body to get it up and keep it up as long as he did. It looked painful for him and it felt even worse for me."

Jack made a face of disgust.

"Big dicks aren't always better, Jack. They can be incredibly uncomfortable and guess what, a lot of guys with big dicks don't know how to use them. They think the big dick is enough to do the job. Newsflash: it isn't. Whether I'm dating a man or a woman, what I'm looking for in the bedroom is a tongue that won't quit. I want to sit on someone's face and ride myself into oblivion. On a first date, the third question I ask is how long can you hold your breath? I need to know."

He laughed at that, "I'll practice that in the bath, just in case you want to casually fuck me or take me back forever."

I shake my head, "I shouldn't have told you that you could eat me out any time. If I'm married, please do not knock on my door 15 years down the line and ask me to get my pussy out for you."

His hand covers mine and he smiles softly, "No promises."

I laugh and pull my hand away, "But seriously, I just feel like at my age I should have my shit together in a way that I clearly do not. I can't just fuck everyone I meet, but I really want to fuck almost everyone I meet. It's like our breakup liberated my pussy."

"You have me to fuck. You have two women to fuck. Maybe don't try to meet anyone else on top? Just get to know the people you're seeing and see how it goes. At least you're being open and honest with them about each other. That's pretty mature behavior. You're being honest with me and we just randomly fucked. I know I threw a wrench in the works with our conversation, but I genuinely want you to be happy, Maya. If you don't want to get back together I still want to be friends. My offer of friendship doesn't hinge on us being in a romantic relationship and it doesn't hinge on us having sex casually either. No matter what happens, we've been through too much together to just throw each other away."

I smile at that. I hate him so much sometimes, but then he reminds me of what a truly decent guy he is. I slip off my barstool to wrap him a bone-crushing hug. "Thanks, Jack. I appreciate that and know that no matter what, I love you dearly."

He returns my hug, planting a kiss on my cheek. "I love you too, Maya. Always. No matter what. But what's more important is that you take some time to love yourself."

I laugh "I make plenty of time for that, usually in the shower." I pull away from the hug and kiss him on the cheek before heading to get ready.

As much as Arizona and Carina knowing each other complicates matters, I appreciate that Jack isn't going to pressure me into making a decision. Whatever has been going on with him recently has made him a more patient, kinder human being and I love that. The changes I've seen in him are almost enough to tempt me into taking him back. Especially after seeing how fired up he can be when it comes to sex. Maybe the breakup was enough to force him into a period of reflection. Maybe he realized how wrong he'd gotten things. Maybe I didn't need to get to know Arizona or Carina, maybe I just needed to open myself to Jack.

Even before I could finish the thought I could feel my body rejecting the idea, my head unconsciously shaking in a big fat nope. I deserved the opportunity to get to know Arizona and Carina. Not to be too bigheaded, but they deserve the chance to get to know me too. I guess I have a lot to think about, but in the meantime my immediate want is to spend the rest of my evening with Carina.

Which might be a big sign I should pay attention to, but I probably won't.

At least, not yet.

That would be scary.

Carina didn't speak, choosing to immediately wrap me into a tight embrace before kissing me deeply. "The thought of you choosing someone else to hang out with tonight made me unbearably jealous and I hate that I'm admitting that to you, but I really fucking like you, Maya."

"I really like you too Carina."

Carina leans in to kiss me, just a short, sweet kiss so I knew she was serious. I had to admit, being with her and just having her arms wrapped around me like this… it felt nice. It felt comfortable and sweet and nice. But as soon as her tongue touched my upper lip we hit the fast lane into naughty.

As a vocal lover, I enjoy being with a vocal lover. Carina wasn't particularly vocal, she was so focused on giving pleasure... but when she was… it was devastating. I don't think I've ever heard anything sexier. It's like she has a touch meter, I just have to fill it up and when I finally do she releases a string of mewling moans and groans. It makes me want more.

We trade kisses and touches as we explore each other, slowly undressing as we do. Finally, we sit facing each other on the bed, I am left only in my panties while she still wears a tank top and underwear.

"You are so incredibly beautiful," Carina whispered, leaning in to kiss my chest. I looked down at her as she continued exploring my chest with her mouth. I suddenly forgot that I wasn't done undressing her.

"You act as though you aren't the most beautiful thing in this room," I respond kissing the side of her head and tugging her hair gently.

She rewards me with a long string of moans, but she keeps exploring my body, undeterred by the distraction. Her eyes flick up to mine as her teeth close around my nipple, her hand wrapping around my breast.

"What do you want me to do with you?" she asks still watching me.

"I like to be teased, but please don't tease me to death. I want to orgasm. I want you to tease me, but I also want you to make you cum really hard and I don't want to wait forever."

"Brief teasing, intense orgasm?" Carina repeated as though I was placing a food order.

I nodded, a small smile on my face. Carina nodded back to me, her hands fanning out, moving over my body in exploration. She moves in to lay a kiss at the side of my mouth, her breath ghosting across my lips to lay another kiss at the other side. Her mouth explored my neck, planting a mix of soft and biting kisses as she did. She teased my panties down over my hips, down my legs, and off, dropping them on the floor before repeating the process for herself. As she settled between my legs she pulled her top off.

"Now we're on level playing field," she smiled down at me, the tip of her index finger lightly running over my lower stomach. She moved to settle on top of me, her pelvis moving to press her clit against mine as her mouth took mine in a deep kiss. Oh, she's definitely going to tease me to death. Teased to death by tribbing, put it on my epitaph now.

I'm not sure I can think of a single time someone warmed me up so slowly and steadily. My skin was on fire, my cunt was aching for her touch, but I was still calmly waiting for more. If I closed my eyes tight enough, I'd believe I was on drugs. I have never felt better. She slides down my body, spreading my legs, arms wrapped around my waist, introducing her tongue. I spread my legs wider and Carina moved to take advantage of better access. With one hand on my stomach, holding me in place, and her other hand fingering me, Carina's tongue moves against me frantically.

I wish I was a better person, but I'm not and I came so fast I almost didn't want to admit it. It was a soft, rolling orgasm that started at my head and washed through me down to my toes. Carina continued, as though unaware that her work was technically done. She opened her eyes and looked up at me, "That was fast," she smirked, her eyes were twinkling which is equal parts hot and annoying.

"You're very good, but don't worry, I'm a champion. I can go all night if you're up for it."

"Want to ride my strap?" she watched me carefully as a I responded nodding.

"I absolutely want you to fuck me like an animal."

Carina jumped off the bed and crouch to open a drawer next to her bed. I could hear her shifting and fidgeting, before she reappeared already wearing it.

"This is a first for me," I admitted, watching Carina move into position, hovering above me.

"Really?" Carina leaned in for a gentle kiss. I could feel the hard toy pressing into my stomach as she deepened the kiss. If it was an intentional ploy to turn me on it was absolutely working. I couldn't wait to see her go to work. With every slight movement lower, the tip of Carina's toy gets closer and closer to where I want it. Finally, I can feel her hovering near my entrance, the tip teasing before pulling away. She makes a game out of kissing me and pulling away so the strap-on does the same. I can't imagine how wet I am now, but I know she won't need lubrication even though I patiently watch her slather it on. When she decides to finally push it inside me it slides right in.

I grunt when she finally does, slightly taken by surprise after being teased for so long. Carina grabs my waist and holds me still, pumping into me at a delicious tempo. My eyes widen as I catch her eye, I pull her down to kiss me, gripping her asscheeks to take her deeper. "Fuck me harder," I encourage and Carina nods, doing just that. She pulls out and moves me onto my hands and knees, slipping back inside me from behind. Carina keeps me on my knees, but pushes my head down against the bed to plunge into me hard from behind. With one hand in my hair and the other playing with my breasts, she fucks me like its the last time we'll ever have sex. Or maybe the last time she has sex. I'm making noises I did not know I could make and can tell from her response that she's having just as much fun.

She pulls out as I let my climax wash over me. Her hands continue playing with me and I quickly push back to take the toy back inside me. Carina stays still, watching as I take the toy as deep as possible and hold the position for longer and longer with each thrust.

"You are so fucking sexy," Carina groaned.

With her pelvis pressed as close to me as possible I start grinding against her, the toy still deep inside. I know that with every move I make, the toy inside her is reacting to push her higher. "I want you to cum too Carina."

"Give me a minute," she said pulling out enough to flip me onto my back before pushing inside me again. She moves against me, into a comfortable missionary position. This was the tempo she needed to finally finish, but it felt pretty nice for me too. It wasn't going to get me off again, but I guess I can sit this orgasm out. Besides, watching Carina come undone was pretty special. Her back was arched, her tits just touching mine as she threw her head back and let out a loud cry with my name on her lips. Her mouth remained open in a silent cry as she pushed again and again until she was completely undone.

"Fuck yeah," I heard myself saying as I took in the sight of her, hair hair tousled and damp with sweat, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath and I had never felt better.

Chapter Text

I wake the next morning thinking about the night before. My dreams were filled with a vivid slideshow of the sex I had, and those thoughts still played in my mind even as the sun urged my eyes to open. I was already wet and as my hand slipped into my panties I realized just how wet. On a scale of one to the entire ocean, I was like… all the oceans. What are there, like seven? I was as wet as seven oceans. Or was that continents, were there five oceans maybe? Either way, my fingers slipped inside as though they had a mind of their own. It didn't matter how much sex I had last night, it didn't matter how many orgasms I had, I was so fucking ready to give myself another.

My fingers just weren't enough, not after last night. I grab a toy from my nightstand and push it inside, flipping the vibrator on once it was deep. Double the pleasure, fill me up and flick my bean, I am ready for another fucking.

I am so caught up in my own fantasies of Carina I don't hear Jack wander into my room without knocking. A polite person would simply leave, but not Jack. No, he chose to knock on my open door, standing there with his dick clearly growing as he watched, his tent pitching higher by the second.

"Jack! I'M CLEARLY BUSY!"

He clamped a hand over his eyes, "I'm really sorry, I thought you sounded upset."

"I'm upset now," I inform him and I am, but I was also having a really good time so I keep the toy exactly where it is and grit my teeth as I ride another wave of pleasure. "What do you want? Make it quick because I'd like to enjoy this orgasm."

"Well, now I want you. I just came to check on you." he left it hanging, but didn't leave.

I would be embarrassed, but it's not like we haven't seen each other in worse positions. I sigh heavily.

"Since you're already here I guess you can stay and watch. If you want?"

He takes his hand away from his eyes, nodding eagerly, "Absolutely. Can I?" his hand hovers above his now fully erect dick.

I nod and squeeze my eyes shut to get back into the rhythm, "Just. No talking. No touching and stay by the door."

"Agreed," he says, reverting to silence. I say silence, I can hear his balls slapping as he jerks himself off. It's okay, I'll just… work with it, I am absolutely not letting this ruin what was about to be an incredible orgasm. I let my mind wander back to thoughts of last night as the toy drives me to the edge. Jack finishes before me, but rather than interrupting he silently slipped away to clean himself up, which made it much easier to think about Carina.

Jack returns once he's sure I am finished. "So, I didn't come for that obviously. I just wanted to see what was up, check in on you after last night."

I nod, sliding out of bed. I realize too late that I'm wearing only panties and Jack tries not to look directly at me. "I need to shower," I sigh, "Can we take this conversation to the bathroom?"

He nods and follows me into the other room.

As I step under the hot stream of the shower, Jack sits perched on the toilet. "So, how are you feeling today?"

"Still horny, but also incredibly torn. I'm starting to think maybe I'm not built for non-monogamy, even if it's unethical. No, ethical. I always get those mixed up. I should just stop dicking around and tell Carina I'm super into her."

Jack doesn't respond immediately. "I guess not everyone is cut out for traditional relationships, but if you've been in one as long as we were and then you aren't enjoying the casual... do you think Carina will be jealous about me jorking off while you masturbated?"

"I'm not sure. She didn't freak out about us having sex the other night, I think she'd be mad if we had a conversation about what we are and then I fucked around with someone else, but she knows I've been seeing Arizona too."

"What about me?" I know that's the question he'd wanted to ask all along, but I'm not sure how to answer.

"I meant it when I told you we're better as friends and I shouldn't have let you stay to watch. I don't want to lead you on."

He sighs loudly enough that it echoes off the wall and over the sound of running water. "Fine. So, what are you going to do about Carina and Arizona?"

That's a really good question.

"I think I need to make a choice," Obviously it was Carina. "And settle into a relationship with someone." As much fun as casual sex had been with Arizona, it was obvious that I have an actual connection with Carina.

As tempting as it is to just live a life of getting fucked by all three, I almost always wish I was with Carina and Jack, well, he was kind of like a fully charged sex toy and that wasn't fair on him. I did really enjoy his friendship, so I had to stop using him for sex just because he sucked at it so bad while we dated. "I'm scared she won't want to put up with my shit," I admitted quietly.

"I'd put up with your shit," Jack reminded me.

I look at him in frustration, "You say that now, but we didn't make each other happy. We were together a long time and we were kinda miserable with each other. We have so much more fun together as friends."

"Yeah, but we also have much better sex now. So, we can still be friends, we can still fuck, and you can still fuck other people. You know?"

It's my turn to sigh as I rinse.

"You don't think you'd be jealous?"

"Have I been jealous so far?"

"That's a good point in theory, but that's because nothing is resolved at this point. If this was a long-term thing you might feel differently. Right now you're just happy to be getting good sex. It's exciting because it's new, different, and a little forbidden. If our regular arrangement was me fucking you, then fucking other people, you might not feel as good about it."

He hums thoughtfully, "Would you be jealous if I was fucking other women?"

"No," I answer honestly. "But I feel like I'd be jealous if Carina was fucking other people."

"So, your problem is you just don't like me."

He leaves it hanging and I'm unsure how to respond.

"Things are more complicated between us," I reply, sighing as I step out of the shower. I realize I didn't bring a towel as I stand on the bathmat soaking wet and fully nude. "I love you," I explain as he rises from the toilet set and disappears. I'm ready to follow when he reappears with a towel, wrapping it around me and leaning in to look me in the eye. "All I can think about is picking you up, wrapping your legs around my waist and fucking you against this wall right now."

My breath catches in my throat. Do you ever think you should see a medical professional about your sex drive? Because mine is out of fucking control and it's that fact that makes me think I'll never be able to settle down for real. Could any one person fill my appetite? At this point, I'm not sure anyone has the stamina I need. It would be just like it was with Jack for years. I would be self-satisfying and let me tell you, while masturbation is totally an act of self-care, I don't think that's what they mean when they talk about self-care. You know?

"Can I?" he asks, his fingers toying with the edge of the towel tucked between my breasts.

"You cannot," I respond securing the towel between my fingers. "I just got out of the shower, I am not going for another one. This is Seattle in the summer, okay, we don't need to be wasting water. But," I continue opening the towel. "Take a good long look and you can store it in your bank."

He smiles and his eyes trace every inch of my body. I didn't think he'd take the suggestion so literally, but whatever floats your boat my man. He unzips his jeans, "Do you need something for your wank bank?" He goes no further, clearly joking and I laugh at his poor attempt at humor. I do appreciate that he accepts rejection easily and I know he'll stop asking if I just put my foot down. He just has terribly pathetic puppy dog eyes.

"I think we both know my wank bank is overflowing."

He nods as I head for my bedroom. "Hey wait, is that it? Is the conversation over?

Okay. Enough distractions. Enough delays. It's time to sit down and have a conversation for real.

"You already know that I will be whatever you want me to be," Jack opens, "The question you need to answer is what is it that you really want? Because whatever you really want, you have two other people to have a conversation with."

I nod, "You're right. Before I can make any kind of real decision, I need to speak to Carina and Arizona about what they want." I sigh and shoot off a text asking when they can meet. "How do I get myself into these situations?"

"With a dating app, I'd assume," he's wearing a smirk, eyebrow raised, challenging me to argue.

"That is 100% accurate," I laugh. "Okay, I'm going to speak to Carina and see how she feels about all of this."

I was prepared for a bit of awkwardness, but I guess I hadn't considered just how awkward the meeting would be. Carina hands me a drink as soon as I walk in and we settle on her couch, neither of us speaking.

"I'm not really sure how to open this conversation," I admit, "I guess it would help if I knew where your head was at. What do you want from me? I know you said you were fine with me seeing Arizona and stuff, but you stopped seeing her because she didn't want to be in a relationship. What if I don't want to be in a relationship? Or, I want to be in two relationships? Or even three relationships? What do you want?"

I have no idea why I'm opening this conversation so awkwardly when I already know that Carina is the connection I made between the three people I've been sleeping with. I already know that I miss her when I'm anywhere else and I feel like instead of telling her that, I'm insinuating that I want to play the field forever.

Carina sighs.

"I really like you. At this point, it feels wrong to demand your sole attention because we're still getting to know each other, but I'll be honest.. going forward, if I'm really into you I will reach a point where I probably will want your sole attention. I'm not sure if I'm built for sharing."

"What about a triad?" I say hopefully, "You know, where you're sharing me with someone else, but you're also enjoying that person too…"

She raises an eyebrow, "You're talking about Arizona, aren't you?"

"Well, you liked her enough that you wanted to lock her down, right? So, what could be better than locking down two of us at once?"

She shrugs and shakes her head, "I'm not so sure about that. It's been a long time."

"I know. I guess I just needed to know where you're at with this because I have been having a lot of fun just fucking people and I really like you and it isn't easy for me to admit this, but I like you more than everyone else. Like more than anyone I've ever met, but I have been having so much sex I'm just not sure you could keep up with my… needs. It feels like I'm reliving my lost youth, the youth I threw away on bad sex in an unsatisfactory relationship. I like you so much, Carina."

"I really like you too. Possibly too much at this point. I guess it's your choice, whatever happens next, but I can't really tell you what to do to pursue your happiness. That's a decision that you have to make for yourself and once you make that decision I have to make mine. You can't make decisions based on what anyone else thinks, Bambina. If you want to keep sleeping around, you can but you can't base that decision on whether I'm willing to do that with you." Carina brushes my hair back away from my face and leans in to press a soft kiss to my lips.

I barely have time to kiss back before she pulls away and I sigh in response. "I know and I know I need to deal with it before anyone gets in too deep." I move closer and wrap my arms around her neck for a hug. She gives such good hugs. I feel as though I'm wrapped up in a warm blanket sitting in front of a roaring fireplace. Safe.and.sound. She lets go too soon, but I know I need to meet Arizona for a repeat of this discussion.

I hold her face between my hands to ensure eye contact, "You're a wonderful person," I whisper it because I don't trust my voice to stay firm and then I press a soft kiss to her lips. I linger long enough that she responds passionately and before we know it, we're stripping off and exploring each other on her couch.

Carina is on her hands and knees above me, planting kisses all over my chest. Her breasts are in my hands and as much as I'd like them pressed against mine they feel so good against my fingertips. "Let's just forget everything for right now and focus on giving each other as much pleasure as possible."

The look in her eye and the way she says pleasure sends a thrill running through my body, though it tends to linger in one particular place. I moan into her mouth as she meets me for a deep kiss. I am desperate for her to touch me, but her hands remain planted either side of my head.

It's time for me to take things into my own hands. I allow my hands to trace down her body until my fingers are teasing between her legs. It's good to know I make her just as wet as she makes me. I slip two fingers inside her and shift to kiss her neck. "I don't suppose you have a strap-on I could fuck you with?" I whisper into her ear before biting into her shoulder. She bucks against me and groans. The movement presses her breasts into my face and I laugh, giving her a light motor-boating. She partially laughs, but she's still in a moan so it comes out slightly strangled.

She leans over me to pull toys from a drawer, "No strap-on handy, but," she says setting a dildo on my stomach before sitting on it. "Will this do?"

"Oh fuck yes, please!" I grab the base of the dildo to keep it in position and place the other on her waist, watching as her boobs bounce as she rides it. "This is my lucky day." I just know the suction cup is going to leave a mark I'll be obsessed with for the next week.

"Okay, hold on," she says grabbing a vibrator for me. She gets it into position and it immediately elicits a moan from my lips. She places one hand on the back of the couch to keep herself steady and her other to play with her breasts, her fingers tweaking each nipple in turn.

Between the vibrator between my legs and the view in front of me, I know I'm going to be a sweaty, orgasming mess in no time at all. I can only hope she comes as quickly. As it happens, she cums first and shifts to hover above my head so I can finally taste her. Her hands are still on her chest and I watch intently as my tongue laps up her juices, and I can't help but groan when she pulls away and we remain connected by a long string of her cum.

When her body recovers she settles between my legs, alternating the vibrator and her tongue, slipping a finger inside me. It's slow and it feels a little bit like torture, but like.. hot, delicious, enjoyable torture. She looks up at me, pressing the vibrator against me before adding her tongue on top. To my eyes she's basically making out with a vibrator that's coated in my arousal. That's hot, so hot that it's exactly enough to make me cum.

We remain naked and wrapped up in each other for what feels like forever before tearing ourselves apart to get dressed.

"You're amazing," she smiles. I smile back. "You're pretty incredible yourself." I give her the softest kiss possible before taking my leave.

When I walk into Arizona's there's a completely different atmosphere. There is no awkwardness, because Arizona just doesn't give a fuck about anything really. She greets me with a hug and a dirty kiss before grabbing my hand and dragging me into her kitchen.

"Can I get you a drink?"

I nod.

"Is this going to be a heavy conversation? Do we need to get into the hard stuff? I know you enjoy bourbon so I picked up a nice bottle to share."

I laugh a little, "I do enjoy bourbon," I admit, "So, yes, I'd love one."

She watches me as she sets about grabbing the right glasses. "So it is a heavy converasation?"

I shrug and settle onto a bar stool as she hands me the glass and clinks her own against it before taking a sip, settling onto the stool next to me. I take a sip of my drink and she watches expectantly.

"Delicious!" and I'm not even lying about it, it genuinely is. That makes the conversation more difficult because this woman went out of her way to buy beverages she thought I would enjoy. That's not nothing.

"Let me ask you a question," I start, "What are your thoughts on polyamory?"

She shrugs, "I don't think about it often, but I guess I kind of live that way now."

I raise an eyebrow, "How many other people are you seeing?"

"Right now? None, but if I met someone I wouldn't not see them just because I'm seeing you. I mean, I know you're sleeping with other people. It doesn't bother me."

I nod, "So, if I wanted to be in a relationship with you… but also in a relationship with other people and you could do the same, that would be fine with you?"

"Totally. I mean, you know that's why Carina and I didn't work out. I wasn't interested in commitment. Granted, I'm a little more open to the idea of it these days, but it's not a dealbreaker."

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be in a triad?"

"Like.. a throuple?"

I nod.

"If I found two people I liked enough who also liked each other… that would be amazing. I can't imagine how difficult that is."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's easy to find people attractive enough to have sex with. It's harder to find someone you want to be in a relationship with. It's even more difficult to find someone willing to be in a relationship where you're also in a relationship with someone else and then to add in the fact that the other people also like each other? I feel like that's the dream if I'm being honest."

"Yeah…" Jesus. She's right. I'm so stupid. There is no way in hell Carina would ever go for a triad, is there? It feels like the only way to be with Carina is to be only with Carina and I already told Jack I would be jealous if Carina was with other people. Why was I trying to convince myself otherwise? It's not like I hadn't been in a long-term relationship before, it's not like I hadn't committed to Jack. Hell, despite the terrible sex and lack of attention, I expected to marry him.

I am so far into my daze I barely hear Arizona speaking to me, it isn't until she snaps her fingers in front of my face that I shake my head and look at Arizona.

"Where'd you go there, daydreamer? Was it nice?"

"Sorry," I can feel the blush rising from my neck into my cheeks, "I was just thinking."

"Okay, tell me what this is about."

"You know I've been seeing Carina and you and also having sex with Jack. It feels like I'm reaching a point where I have to decide what to do because I don't want anyone to get hurt and I can see Jack falling into old habits, like how things were when we were together. You know? He walked into my room without knocking this morning and I was masturbating."

Arizona laughed, "Wow, how embarrassing."

I shrug, "I let him stay and watch."

"Stop it, you're turning me on, but also tell me more. Were you fingering yourself? Were you riding a dildo stuck to the wall? Describe it to me, be detailed."

I push her and take a sip of my drink to cover my blush. "Play your cards right and I'll show you."

No! This was the opposite of my mission, I was already doing it again.

She wiggles her eyebrows at me over the rim of her glass. "So, Jack is falling into relationship habits and it's making you uncomfortable because you're in several undefined "relationships" with several incredibly attractive people, all of whom are dynamite in bed?"

I nod in agreement, "Yes, that is essentially the perfect summation. He is pretty open to accepting whatever I am willing to offer, even if it's only friendship and it is, I only want to be his friend but I've let my libido walk me into a lot of trouble." As soon as I say libido, my mind takes me right back to earlier, the way Carina knew exactly how to touch me and how fun and warm it was. Arizona had been great, but did I feel safe and comfortable with her the way I did with Carina? No. She felt much more like the cool friend I could tell a nything.

Arizona is back to snapping her fingers in my face.

"Hey, where did you go?"

"I'm so sorry," I am beet red and judging by the look on her face she has a good idea of exactly where I went. "I was picturing Carina. I shouldn't have said that thought out loud."

Arizona laughs, "Well, I'm sorry to tell your fantasy that I cannot make that happen, but I can fuck you if it helps."

Unconsciously I press my legs together to stop the throbbing between my legs. She smirks in response, nothing gets past her. "Pretty sure I'm a one woman lady from here on out," I hear myself say in apology.

Well, that was definitely growth.

Chapter Text

I felt better after my discussion with Arizona, especially the after portion of the conversation. It made up for how terribly things went with Carina. Did they go terribly? Am I being paranoid? I am… I am being paranoid. Jack was barely a blip on my radar at this point because all I could think about was the potential of losing her. We might be in too deep right now, a little lust dazed, but I could easily see Carina and I getting to that point. Is that enough for me to leave everyone else behind and forge a future with her?

Do I have what it takes to have multiple partners for the long term? No way and I honestly don't know who I was kidding. It wasn't that I hadn't enjoyed it because I really, really had. It was just that the lure of Carina was much stronger than non-monogamy.

It's… a lot… to know that what people say is true… you know. I can't predict the future, but I feel like I could easily build one with Carina and that wasn't something I could have ever said about Jack during our relationship. Arizona? She was a lot of fun and I wish her well.

And as for my newly awakened sex drive. Well, I'm pretty sure Carina will give me a good run for my money.

And to think all of this started because of a stupid app and my insatiable sex drive. Now I'm in a real fucking mess. I hope you're happy, vagina.

As I sit down to eat breakfast, I browse my timeline, and it's exactly the shit show I be expected. I have to wash it all off, I think, tossing my phone on the bed before heading for a shower. I take my time getting dressed, lounging on my bed with my phone for a while. I was smart enough to delete all the dating apps and re-open Twitter for the tenth time today. I should really face the day, but ew.

I look myself in the eye, my beautiful reflection practically winking from the mirror, and give myself a pep talk before steeling my way to the door. A loud gasp escapes my lips as I step into our shared living room. It's like a case of the vapors as I watch the scene before me. Jack looks up, horror written all over his face.

He gulps before he responds, grabbing his dick in his hands, "I didn't realize you were home."

I wave my hands wildly, "What is happening?"

He stands and his company stands with him. "I just wanted to explore my sexuality and you know, show you that I'm open and willing to explore with you."

There's a naked man standing either side of him, both fully erect and looking as embarrassed as Jack. I can't help myself, my eyes flicker down to assess their packages. One is more well-endowed than the other, but the other has a hook in his dick that I bet hits the spot like nothing else could.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," I shrug, unsure of what else to say. "Just go back to what you were doing and I will get out of your hair. Sorry!"

Jack reaches for his boxer briefs and slips them on as he moves toward me, "No, it's okay. The moment is kind of ruined now. We'll need some time to get back into the swing of it. Right guys?"

The guys nod in agreement, slipping their own underwear back on.

"Soooooo," I smile awkwardly, "Where'd y'all meet?"

One of the men laughs, "Jack was hunting for a bisexual couple to explore with and he found us."

"On an app," the other chimes in.

I nod, "Those apps are really coming through for us aren't they?"

Jack laughs, "This is Tom," Jack motions towards the smaller one with the big dick "and his boyfriend Brandon." The hooked-penis giant is pretty cute, I silently admit and they're bisexual which is fun. I appreciate that his exploration was truly with me in mind. Like he was test driving them for me.

"I'm Maya," I wave again, "It's nice to meet you, but I'll be honest, I have never seen a man naked as quick as this. So, well done. And do know, it doesn't take me long normally so this record should truly be celebrated."

Brandon laughs, "Well, now that you're here…" he leaves it hanging, rubbing himself through his briefs.

I sigh, "Has Jack explained our situation to you at all?"

Tom guffaws, "Oh, at length."

He says length and I understand what he's talking about but my eyes can't help but move to his bulge. If anyone would know about length it would be him.

"We are in a committed relationship, but we also enjoy playing together. Sometimes we play apart with other people, but we always come home to each other."

Jack might not realize it, but bringing these dudes home might be the greatest gift he's ever given me.

I definitely don't want that with Carina. Sharing? I could never share her, especially while we were in the same room. That did not turn her on at all. These guys looked happy, they were obviously having a great time together. I didn't think this would be a great time for me. Not to join them and not to do that with Carina ever. I want to be the only one touching her and I want her to be the only one touching me.

I take a seat on the accent chair and lean in, "Do you see people casually or do you have several relationships? Do they crossover? I need to know." It might not be for me, but that didn't mean I couldn't learn more about how it worked for someone else.

Jack sighs, realizing that his entire morning has been totally derailed and settles onto the couch with his friends.

"It's actually different for both of us. I have two other relationships and then we often have casual hookups together."

"Whereas I," Brandon chips in, "Only have casual hookups with Tom by my side. I have a lower sex drive than him so other relationships are of no interest to me. I like to have sex with Tom and I enjoy tag-teaming someone with him."

My eyebrows rise, "Tag-teaming? Like, spit-roasting?" I look at Jack curiously, "Were they going to spit-roast you?"

A deep blush rises from his collar right up his face and he gives me the slightest nod to confirm they were.

My jaw drops a little and my hand clutches my chest, "Oh my God. Jack. I didn't even know you were bi?"

He shrugs, "I didn't really know I was bi either. I mean, I've been watching gay porn for years but porn is fantasy. It isn't always an accurate reflection of someone's sexuality. I guess with you exploring yourself more I felt brave enough to do the same and so I hit the apps to see if someone was up for showing me the ropes. I was so nervous, we all agreed it would be best if I met up with Tom first. We had drinks and he gave me a blowjob and I really liked it, but I wasn't ready to reciprocate yet, but I wanted to at least give him a handjob. That escalated into a blowjob and I realized I was really into it. Like, really into it. So, we all had drinks together to get to know each a little bit and then came back here. We had a quiet night, just watching movies and stuff. I wasn't quite ready to take things further, but then I was and you walked in and here we are."

I nod, "I'm really fucking proud of you, Jack."

"… you are?"

"Are you kidding me? Absolutely. I know how hard it is, especially for guys. I'm just glad you're willing to figure yourself out."

He gave me perhaps the brightest smile I've seen on his face in years, "Thank you, Maya, that means a lot."

"So, do we want to have a foursome here or what?" Brandon with the hooked penis wants to know.

It was almost tempting, the hooked penis had piqued my interest and I did wonder how it would feel inside me.

No way. It was time to commit to Carina for good. I couldn't keep making the decision and going back on it. The moment I tell her I'm committed to her, that's it. It's over for me because I don't plan on ever letting her go and if I never let her go, I'll never hold onto anyone else and that's just a little bit terrifying after how terribly things had gone for me and Jack.

I can't compare Carina to Jack.

That was unfair.

"Hey," I smile when the door opens.

Carina waves wordlessly.

"Can I come in?"

She nods, stepping aside to make way.

"What's up?" she finally speaks. Thank god, I was starting to wonder.

"I've done a lot of thinking," I start. "I know you're not interested in polyamory or whatever and I've been… having a lot of casual sex."

She nods, obviously unsure of where I'm going with this.

I sit her down on the couch and perch on the coffee table in front of her. I take her face in my hands and press a soft kiss to the side of her head. "I love fucking," I admit, "So, do you think you can keep up with my sex drive?"

She pulls back to look me in the eyes, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, if it's just you and me… are you going to be able to keep up?"

A smirk creeps onto her face and turns into a full blown smile, "Oh, you better fucking believe it." she leans forward, hooking an arm around my waist to pull me flush against her. And then she kisses me. Like. A kiss so gentle and delicious that I can feel myself growing wetter by the second. "Did you want me to keep up right this second?" I hear that it's a question, but I feel her hands roaming my body and her mouth exploring my neck and I understand that it was a rhetorical one, which is a good thing because it's so fucking offensive to me that she'd even need to ask.

"Take your girlfriend to bed and fuck her like only you know how," my voice is low in her ear, my breath hot enough to make the hairs on her neck stand on end. Her nails dig into my sides and she grabs me by the hand to drag me to her bedroom.

She has me on my back within seconds of stepping into her room, and she wastes no time stripping off before she sets to removing my clothes. I gaze up at her as her eyes rove my body, drinking in every inch of me as though I'm the only the best thing she's ever been. "Hi," I say it quietly, but it's enough to draw her attention up my body to my eyes.

"Hi," she's smiling.

"I'm so glad Jack met you," I whisper.

"I'm so glad Jack met you," she whispers back.

Never let your boyfriend stop you from finding your wife.