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Chapter Text

DILUC POV

Diluc did not hate kids. He was actually a kid once himself. The difference was that he was not annoying like the ones that had now taken over Angel’s Share, playing Genius Invokation TCG. And they weren’t even playing it right. Like they had tossed all the rules in the air. It’s just a game. But still, couldn’t they at least try to play it correctly? 

Of course, it had all started with Kaeya. Like most horrible things do. Business hadn’t been horrible – but it had been better. Then, Cat’s Tail had the genius (get it?) idea to inspire the youth of Mondstadt by hosting Genius Invokation TCG during the day. It went well. To the point where there wasn’t enough room to host everyone. Seats in Cat’s Tail became a competition – with only the best of the best sitting there. 

The rest? Stuck playing outside on the roads. Diluc didn’t really care. Best they learn about the world early – the harsh truth and reality. Not have their entire life shattered in seconds like that had happened to Diluc. Best they learn early on. Of course he wasn’t evil, so he wasn’t walking around smirking at the kids with their cards drawn on paper as they sat on the corners or kicking away their pathetic stones and papers. Diluc did not care. He could care less. 

But Kaeya? Oh Kaeya really cared. He had even tried to convince Jean to let the “future knights” play at headquarters. Jean refused. Kaeya of course  went as far as to beg Diluc to host the game for the “losers” who weren’t good enough to play at Cat’s Tail. 

Now that had been annoying. 

“Master Diluc,” Kaeya had said as he drank his dandelion wine a few weeks ago. 

“No,” Diluc replied 

“What, Master Diluc! You don’t even know what I’m going to say.” Kaeya had whined while taking another sip of his drink. Kaeya was always so dramatic.  

“You have said this every day for the past week.” Diluc sighed. 

“Said what?” Kaeya asked with a smirk.

“To let the loser card kids play here.” 

“Master Diluc, how could you be so cruel?” Kaeya taunted and Diluc watched in annoyance. Kaeya wiped away fake tears and placed his hand on his heart. “Oh, cruel Master Diluc.” 

“Kaeya, why don’t you just rent a place for them yourself? I heard you already bought the cards.”

“Well then Master Diluc, I wouldn’t have enough for my wine.” Typical Kaeya. 

Diluc rolled his eyes. 

“Master Diluc, why don’t you want to inspire the youth?” 

“It’s just a game .” Diluc snapped, how was it going to inspire the youth. 

“Exactly,” Kaeya replied, “it’s just a game! It shouldn't be too hard to host it!” 

Diluc scoffed and tried to ignore Kaeya. Nope, Kaeya was too annoying, Diluc needed to continue speaking, “It’s not about inspiring the youth, it’s a pathetic card game.” 

“Wait, Master Diluc – you’re not scared are you?” 

Diluc scoffed, “Scared of what? Sir Kaeya?”

“That you’ll run out of grape juice. Ah Master Diluc I knew you were greedy.” Kaeya replied, wiggling his eyebrows laughing. 

Diluc grabbed Kaeya’s wine glass. 

“Hey! I wasn’t finished with that.” 

“Now you are,” Diluc replied, then continued, “Why do you even care so much Kaeya?” 

“It’s just,” Kaeya paused for a second wiping away a single tear (it was obviously fake), “they remind me of when I was just a little wee one in Khaenri'ah. Playing with nothing but rocks and scraps and the Abyss Mages.” 

Diluc quickly slammed a new drink (yes he wasn’t cruel) on the table and darted his eyes to make sure no one had heard Kaeya talk. A tinge of guilt and anger festered within his fingers. 

Suddenly, Charles – that stupid, stupid man — announced to Master Diluc just loud enough for Kaeya to hear, “We just got a huge shipment of grape juice that’s gonna expire soon.” 

Kaeya simply laughed and wiggled his eyebrows once more. Diluc wanted to punch him.

So, here he was now. Angel’s Share overridden by children sitting on the chairs and stools and tables. Trying to climb everywhere and being stupid. And it was only the first day!! Only 2 hours into opening!! 

Diluc stood behind his bar (yes the children had tried to climb over the counter) with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. Kaeya? No where to be found. Of course, Kaeya had kept his promise and dropped off all of the decks of cards. But now he had scattered off to some sort of “mission” and Diluc was stuck. Surrounded by whatever this was.  

He wasn’t judgemental, but his judgements were usually right. Of course, Diluc wasn’t rude.But he could tell that these kids were never gonna make it to Cat’s Tail or even a tournament.  They had no regard for the rules, didn’t know how to play and were making up their own rules as the game went along. 

What had ever happened to reading the instructions? Diluc grumbled. 

“More grape juice, please!” voices yelled. Diluc grumbled again (which he didn’t think was possible), and sighed as he brought the table more grape juice. Just a few more days. Just a few more days. Oh and Charles that horrible man had to sort out some “serious business matters.”” But Diluc was pretty sure that Kaeya had done all this just so Diluc had the pleasure to host this stupid game. 

But as he returned he saw an angry Diona tapping her foot looking at the packs cards Kaeya had bought. 

“Very sneaky Master Diluc,” Diona said angrily. 

“Pardon me?” Diluc replied. 

“Just cause you have money you decided to go all out and buy the fanciest cards. What you lack in talent you buy with mora. Well that doesn’t matter, because my customers are loyal and they will not be coming to this shabby little tavern.” She then tutted and spun around leaving (not before grabbing a deck or two of cards) and kicking a stool. 

Wow, Genius Invokation TCG really made people go insane. It’s just a game! Diona was usually really nice. Maybe he should grab the cards back. It was Kaeya’s money. Ah, Kaeya destroyed his business partnerships as well. Typical Kaeya. 

And then Diluc turned around and saw another kid, “Sir!” 

“It’s Master Diluc,” Diluc replied. 

“Okay, whatever, Master Diluc,” the kid replied.

“Yes?” Diluc said, trying to hide the venom out of his voice. 

“Where’s Sir Kaeya? I wanna show him how good I am now!” the kid said. No wonder all these kids were stupid, Kaeya had taught them to play! 

Then before he could reply, “Sir Kaeya’s on a mission!” a voice spoke. 

“What?” 

“Yup! I heard he spent ALL his money on buying the fancy cards for us.” 

That was so stupid . But something Kaeya would definitely do. Diluc didn’t know why, but he felt his heart drop and a void open there. 

Then out of the side of his eye, he quickly caught a cup that a kid had chucked (luckily he had switched to plastic) and placed it on the table. 

“Cool!” the kid who was bothering him and grabbed the cup and looked at him for more grape juice. 

Diluc pinched the bridge of his nose. Just a few more days. Just a few more days. Actually, no. He was gonna quit after today. Just a few more hours until he could kick them out and prepare for his actual customers. Oh, he couldn’t wait for Kaeya to show up. He was gonna yell at Kaeya. 

The chaos didn’t end. No, it got worse . The world naturally moved towards disorder. But this? This was a catastrophe. Like so bad that the Archons would have to stop the chaos just to return the balance. 

Some of the kids from Cat’s Tail had come and started demanding the cards from the “loser” kids. “It’s not fair! You guys don’t even know how to play!” the kids had yelled as they did some sort of raid (the worst part was that they seemed to have put some thought and planning into it too). 

Diluc stared at them. He wasn't getting paid to do this. It was just a game. Literally like all of this was free . Even the grape juice because he needed to get rid of the stock. The price: his sanity?! 

Diluc huffed, it wasn’t his problem. And he couldn’t really argue with them. These kids didn’t know how to play. It’s just a game and they couldn't play it right. 

Then Diona walked inside and Diluc let out a sigh. Finally , 

“Diona, finally. Please, can you..” 

“CHARGE!” Diona yelled. 

Suddenly they raced towards the counter and Diluc sighed. 

“We’re out of cards, sorry.” Diluc said. That wasn’t a lie. 

“Let’s start grabbing them from the losers!” one of the kids yelled. 

“Wait!” Diona said and sent an apologetic glance at Diluc. 

But it was too late. 

Diluc watched as the table closest to him – with a scrawny kid playing on his own - had his cards ripped away from him by the crowd. 

All this for just a game. 

And at that moment a memory took over Diluc’s mind. 

“Kae!? You gave away all of your toys again?” Father had said during dinner. 

“Yup! I like to share!” Kaeya said with a smile and cheeky grin. 

“What happened to your face?” Diluc interjected. He had just begun training with the knights and didn’t see Kaeya as much. 

“Oh, I was playing in the dirt instead and I fell,” Kaeya had said with a smile. 

“Well, Kaeya grow up big and strong, and soon you can join Luc in training!” Father had said as Adelinde placed the vegetables on his table. Diluc never saw Kaeya vegetables that fast.

Diluc had been really busy with the knights but he still remembers that one day. Diluc had taken a detour and was walking through the forest. It was for some sort of stealth training and Diluc was exhausted. Ready to go home. 

But then by the rocks below he heard screaming. And Keaya's voice. 

He ran to the edge of the small cliff just above the clearing and saw Kaeya below him. He saw Kaeya’s toys being grabbed from him as the kids huddled around him.

“Master Crepus can buy you more toys,” one of the kids said as they pushed Kaeya over and stepped on Kaeya’s face. Kaeya was there now and covered his head as they kicked him. Then Kaeya made eye contact with him in shock and pain, “Luc?” 

“Your brother ‘Luc’ can’t save you now. He’s training for the knights. He’s probably happy that you're not there to bother him anymore. You’re just a LOSER!” 

Diluc saw red. 

As he walked Kaeya home that day (skipping knight training altogether), neither of them talked. Diluc would have brought it up, told Kaeya to do something or to have told them, if it weren’t for the extreme shame on Kaeya’s face.

So, all Diluc said, “Kae, you’ll never be a bother to me. Ever.” Oh how that had turned out. 

Now, as Diluc stood in Angel’s Share he wasn’t sure why that memory had come to curse him out of nowhere. 

He watched as the “loser” kids cried in the chaos and saw red again. Not as fierce as red had been once a long time ago – he was much more cool and collected now.

He slammed the counter and yelled, “Everyone stop.” 

Luckily he was able to control his Vision. He didn’t wanna traumize them. 

The entire tavern was still. 

Silently, without even needing to say anything the attackers left, mumbling grumpy grown up (Diluc’s unfortunate nickname)  as they left. 

Diona looked at him to apologize but Diluc simply smiled (as much as he could at that moment so it looked more like a grimace). He couldn’t be mad at Diona. Because he knew how much the kid hated alcohol and this gave her a chance to be happy to be a kid, and Diluc wasn’t going to take that away from her.

As the day continued, Diluc was still annoyed. But luckily it hadn’t gotten worse. He also was apparently “cool?” That’s what the kids were saying. 

“Master Diluc,” that was so cool how you saved us! I thought we were all gonna be done for. It wasn’t that serious, but Diluc didn’t mention that. 

Of course, with Master Diluc’s 15 minutes of fame, now he was a favourite character in this stupid game. Of course, they still weren’t playing the game correctly. Making up their own rules as they went.

As the day wrapped up and the sun began to tell the world it was about to set, the tavern started clearing out. Surprisingly, as they left they put the chairs back in order, even returned the cups – Diluc did not want to jinx it, but the tavern was looking cleaner than when it had opened just a few hours ago.

“See you tomorrow, Master Diluc!” Diluc waved. He wasn’t going to be here tomorrow. Nope. Nope. He was gonna be at home.  

There was just one table left, the scrawny kid had now found some friends. While Diluc still wanted to scream at them for not following the rules and making up their own he didn’t. They had made up their own stories, points and everything. Some were even throwing in dialogue too. They still fought over their made up rules, but it wasn’t horrible. 

“Wrap up soon, guys,” Diluc spoke. 

“Yes Master Diluc!” the voices chimed. 

Diluc walked over, arms crossed observing. 

“So what are you doing,” 

“Master Diluc! You’re fighting Kaeya right now!” the kids said with a smile. 

Oh . It’s just a game. 

Diluc hadn’t noticed he was frowning until a kid chimed in, “Don’t worry Master Diluc, you’re winning right now! Even though Cyro is stronger in the rain.” 

“I told you already, it’s not raining!” said another voice. 

It’s just a game. 

Diluc watched, trying to hide any emotion. Why was he thinking about that? That night? When things had gone horrible. 

“Diluc uses a phoenix wing flame attack one million!” the kid said, slamming the card onto the table. 

It was done. Diluc remembered the feeling of horror that ebbed within his fingers, within his hands, after he had sent the attack. All he could do was watch his heart drop as Keaya looked at the flaming bird with a wide eye and then that wide eye had softened in acceptance. A smile. Diluc’s heart was racing. Shuttering in his chest. It felt hollow. 

“I win!” cheered the kid breaking Diluc’s trance. Oh right. The flame phoenix attack whatever was done. The game was done. Diluc’s body was shaking. His hands were burning. It’s just a game. 

He still remembers the smell of burnt flesh. The blood – all of which was Kaeya’s. The way Kaeya had smiled softly until Kaeya looked at him. That’s when he saw fear. True fear in Kaeya’s eye. And it wasn’t like the fear Kaeya had, when he thought he was gonna get in trouble for something. It wasn’t the fear that Kaeya would show when the bullies were hurting him.No, it was different. And because Diluc knew Kaeya. Maybe Diluc had imagined all of it, but part of him knew he hadn't. 

“Nope! Kaeya uses a frozen power ice shield triple billion!” said the kid. 

When the ice shield appeared around Kaeya, Kaeya looked shocked. Even more shocked than Diluc himself. Diluc remembers. 

“Hey! You can’t do that! You don’t have any points.” 

“I don’t need any points to do that! It activates when Kaeya’s HP is low!” The kid argued back.

He remembered how Kaeya’s eye had widened and shaked. How Kaeya looked almost disappointed? No ashamed. 

“Yes you do! You need points!” the voice yelled. Was the room getting really hot? Diluc heard the sound of rain. 

“No I don't! Sir Kaeya told me that his ice shield activates on his own!”

“I don’t believe you! Kaeya doesn’t have an ice shield!” 

 How Kaeya’s hands were shaking as they touched the ice around him. Diluc watched as the phoenix turned into nothing but more rain. Kaeya had looked at him, and looked apologetic? The room felt hot. It felt muddy and humid. And something was burning. It smelt like smoke. 

“Yes he does! He just never has to use it cause he’s so powerful!” 

Other  voices chimed in agreeing, “Sir Kaeya has an ice shield! He told me he only used it once ” 

No. Guilt ebbed its way into Diluc. No, only once. That meant. That meant. It meant that… 

“Really?” 

“Yup, and he said he was more scared for the other guy .” 

Kaeya, bloody and broken, had looked at Diluc and smiled softly. It had enraged DIluc. That the pathetic traitor had gotten a Vision. Yes, that’s why the traitor was smiling. Thinking he was all that powerful. Pathetic. Diluc had looked at his bloody hands – it wasn’t his blood– maybe some of it was from the way he had put his fingernails into his skin. He took out his Vision and tossed it at Kaeya. He walked away. Not looking back. Because he couldn’t. 

Murmurs broke out, talking about how cool and powerful Kaeya was. And while the older brother in Diluc would have had his chest warm with pride, Diluc now stood still. 

“Wow Sir Kaeya is the coolest! But even if he has a super cool ice shield, he needs points to activate it!” 

“Sir Kaeya told me that the ice shield activates, even if he doesn’t want it to!”

Diluc’s entire body felt warm. But it also felt frozen. Diluc had looked back. He said he didn’t but he did. He looked at Kaeya – frozen and burning. In the dancing of the snowflakes, his brother held Diluc’s Vision in his hands, and Diluc watched as it burned Kaeya’s skin. But Kaeya didn’t let go, despite all the pain he must have been in. Instead, he gripped the Vision tighter and held it to his chest. 

Diluc couldn’t hear. All he heard was a high pitched noise. A quick chime from Angel Share’s door. 

“Ask Sir Kaeya, he will tell you!” 

“I’ll tell you what?” Kaeya asked, as he stood with his arms crossed in the doorway – the rain pouring behind him. His hair was damp, and his uniform was bloody. 

Diluc saw red. 

It’s just a game.

Chapter Text

DILUC POV 

Diluc’s ears rang. He could barely make out the words around him as he saw Kaeya standing there. Leaning on the doorframe is not a care in the world. Alive. But for how long?  

“Sir Kaeya! You came just in time. You’re fighting Master Diluc right now!” 

It was just a game. But Diluc had to replay it all again. Had to live it all again.  

Diluc’s Vision felt hot. It felt red. Red like fire. Red like the colour of blood - Kaeya’s blood. Kaeya’s blood was now seeping through his suit. How did that happen to Kaeya. Diluc did it - right? It was him. It had to be him. Diluc looked at his hands. No, he wasn’t holding a sword. He used a claymore now. Why was everything red? There wasn’t any blood on his hands right now. Or did the rain wash it away? 

“Oh?” came Kaeya’s reply. Just an intonation too high, slightly too strained.  No witty reply. No boastful comment.  Diluc knew it. He knew it. 

 He could yell at them to stop, tell them to stop the game. It’s just a game. But it wasn’t really a game, was it? Games could be stopped. But Diluc couldn’t speak. A lump in his throat. This wasn’t a game. It was history. It was the Archons laughing in the sky. Cruel fate. 

“Ya, you’re fighting Master Diluc right now and he just used phoenix flame bird one gazillion million trillion!” 

“Hey, that’s not what you called his attack before.” yelled a kid. Diluc wanted to tell them to stop. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t speak. He was trapped in the past. Trapped on that day. 

What had they been fighting about that morning? 

“Hey! It’s not fair that Diluc gets to try wine but I don’t. I’m tired of grape juice” Kaeya had pouted. 

“You’ll get your chance too - when you’re older.” Father had said. 

Kaeya had crossed his arms and huffed, “Well I wanna be older now.” 

Diluc smacked the back of Kaeya’s head. “Yeah Kae, you gotta wait until you’re older like me.” Then Diluc, being the mature person that he was now, stuck out his tongue. 

 Kaeya had already tried wine – ages ago, they both had actually (their father was literally a wine tycoon – they had more wine than water in their house). Kaeya thought it was the most disgusting thing in all of Teyvat. “I don’t know how anyone would like the taste of this. Maybe they just pretend to like it so they can stay at Father’s tavern. Or maybe it's the people.” 

Diluc watched out of the corner of his eye as Kaeya was to hit him back then yelled, “Hey, you can’t hit me, It’s my birthday!” Kaeya stopped in his tracks and crossed his arms. 

Kaeya huffed, “That’s true. Okay fine, Luc. I won’t hit you today but I will tomorrow.” Then Kaeya shoved Diluc and Diluc shoved him back laughing.

“Boys, stop. You are not kids anymore,” Fathers scolded, pinching the bridge of his nose in “annoyance”. Kaeya and Diluc made eye contact as they watched the smile that Father tried to hide behind his hand. 

That night, Kaeya had kept his promise. During the entire fight, Kaeya had not once tried to hit Diluc. No he did not. Kaeya had not even tried to fight back. Instead trying to frantically explain something to Diluc. Diluc didn’t hear it. He didn’t want to. Kaeya was a traitor. Kaeya was a spy. 

Wow, what a birthday it was. 

“Interesting.” Kaeya spoke, his voice straining and a smirk made from trembling lips. Diluc dared to look at him. And Kaeya, despite the mask he wore and showed with pride – like a peacock strutting with its tail feather on display – was breaking. The kids couldn’t tell. But Diluc could. He always could. 

Diluc tried to swallow the lump in his throat. It was burning now. Diluc was scared to speak. Scared that if he tried to say anything he’d breath out fire and Kaeya – the one alive in front of him – would be done. That his ice shield wouldn’t activate this time. Maybe the first time was just luck. 

“Sir Kaeya! Sir Kaeya! Do you have an ice shield?” Diluc couldn't look at Kaeya. He couldn’t dare to look at him as he heard the next words. 

“I do,” Kaeya replied. Kaeya’s voice sounded confident – like Kaeya had meant to use it in a way to brag –  but Diluc could hear the wavering in his tone. 

Then the questions started pouring in and Diluc found himself staring at the red on Kaeya’s uniform. Kaeya was fine. If he wasn’t then Kaeya wouldn’t have shown up, right? No. Knowing Kaeya and how much he loved dandelion wine. Kaeya would show up to drink no matter what. Knowing Kaeya and how much he cared for the loser kids he would have shown up.

“Is it true that your ice shield only shows up when you think you’re gonna get super duper hurt? Like where you’d have to spend months in the cathedral.” 

Diluc dared to look up at Kaeya, and saw Kaeya staring right back for a quick second. 

“Yup, don’t want to get on Barbara 's bad side,” Kaeya replied with a grin. Kaeya’s mask was back on. But Diluc could see right through it. For one of the first times since he had come back. 

All Diluc saw was a broken mask with cracks all over it, that Kaeya was trying to keep together. 

“Is it true that you’ve only used it once?” 

“Yup,” Kaeya replied, “I’m the Cavalry Captain, I’m super strong. Nothing can hurt me.” 

Except your older brother. Except the one person in this world that was meant to protect you. Except the one person that was meant to protect you. Except Diluc.

Guilt welled up. And up and up. It flowed through Diluc’s veins. Went into his heart and spread across his body. 

“If you’re the Cavalry Captain, where’s the calvary?” 

Kaeya paused for a quick second, “That’s a good question. I would like to know that too.” Then Kaeya laughed. It was a fake laugh – strained too forced. But the kids laughed alongside Kaeya. 

“Kaeya, is it true that when you used your ice shield you didn’t want it to work? That you surprised?” 

It was raining. It was raining so much. But the rain — no matter how strong –  wouldn’t wash away the wretched smell of smoke and burning flesh. The rain, no matter how loud, wouldn’t silence Kaeya’s voice,“Please, Luc! Just listen to me!” Kaeya would say holding up his sword only to defend. Never to attack. 

“Oh yeah! Kaeya, your frozen gazillion triple billion frozen ice shield of power activates when your HP is low right? You wouldn’t need to use any points, right?” a kid spoke, holding up Kaeya’s card. 

It was then, when Kaeya had dropped his sword. “Luc, I’m not fighting you.” It was then, when Diluc had hit skin. A clean hit. But nothing was clean about it. 

Kaeya had taken a few steps back. 

It was then, when Diluc, trained by the fire that forged the sword, saw the opening. It would be done before he even realized what he did. But then it was cold. Really cold. The rain had fell on him as frozen icy droplets. 

“Hey, what’s that smell?” 

“Hey, Sir Kaeya, what happened to you?” another said, pointing and the now increasingly red stain on his shirt. 

Kaeya, who seemed happy at the distraction, said, “Oh, this little cut?” 

But then, Diluc met Kaeya’s gaze. That was it. 

Kaeya quickly spoke, with the most nervousness Diluc had ever seen him, “This is what happens when I go without dandelion wine for too long. How about you guys finish your game tomorrow? You wouldn’t want the poor Cavalry Captain to not have enough energy to find the  cavalry. Or worse – get yelled at by Barbara, would you?”  

“Nope!” They said as the kids began to leave the tavern waving as they left. “Bye Sir Kaeya! Bye Master Diluc.” 

He and Kaeya were the only ones left in the tavern. The only ones left on the rainy field. The only ones left from their little family. Diluc would have been the only one left if it weren’t for the ice shield. 

“Hey, Master Diluc? You okay?” Kaeya asked palms open in a non-threatening way, getting closer, concern evident on his face. 

“Kae, don’t come near me ever again!” Diluc had yelled something similar that day as he threw his Vision at Kaeya. I don’t want to hurt you ever again. 

Diluc remembers that day was dark. He looked around. There were stars creeping into his vision. The tavern being ebbed away by the dark pulses that crowded his Vision. 

Diluc saw black. Then Diluc saw blue. Then Diluc saw red. Then he saw black again. 

KAEYA POV 

How a game could be so much like life. It was interesting. It was interesting that Kaeya just couldn’t break free from the past. Like no matter how hard he tried, no matter what he did the past would haunt him, carry on into the present. That it would remind him that he really was helpless to what the future held. He’d never break free from this. He couldn’t help but look at Diluc. He couldn’t help but feel the ache from his wound hurt, but for some reason the scars from his past – healed and aged – hurt more than the fresh wound ever could. 

Perhaps it was an even crueler fate that only Kaeya noticed – that the only person left in this world to notice was Kaeya. Diluc had been breathing erratically, and perhaps it was a cruel fate or a cruel destiny that this was how things turned out. But, to the untrained eye one would never notice it.  Diluc was calm, cool and collected even when afraid. He had mastered the act of maturing at such a young age. That’s what a knight was supposed to do. To appear motionless as a war waged on – on the battle field or within.  Of course Kaeya would notice. How cruel destiny was.  He’d always notice it. No matter if they were no longer brothers. No longer family. Kaeya didn’t know why he still cared so much but part of him knew that he would care. It was simply a fact. Kaeya knew it because it was him. 

“Hey, Master Diluc? You okay?” He asked. Cautious. Diluc was going through something. Kaeya saw it in Diluc’s gaze. Like he was there but also not there anymore. Kaeya knew why.  

“Kae, don’t come near me ever again!” Diluc spoke but he didn’t make eye contact with Kaeya. Kaeya knew that much. He was talking to Kae. And that’s when it hit him. 

Kae. 

Kae.

Kae. 

Diluc had called him Kae . Kaeya never thought he’d ever hear that nickname again. He literally had to pinch himself to make sure that he wasn’t imaging this or that maybe his wound from the mission had gotten worse and he was now in Celestia (or as close as a sinner could ever reach the Archons – maybe like halfway through the clouds).

Then, Diluc had stumbled forward and Kaeya stepped towards him. Luckily for Diluc, Kaeya had managed to catch him on time. Unluckily for Kaeya, however, because Kaeya felt the burn . 

That smell. It was a horrible, horrible smell. Like fabric and flesh. Kaeya’s arm felt warm. But it wasn’t a dangerous burn or heat. No, because the fabric and flesh was not a smell from today. 

No, it was the memories that stung.  Actually no, it was his hand. Kaeya held up his head, where the gloves weren’t protecting him were red. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t as bad as that day. 

It wasn’t as bad as that fated day where Kaeya had finally been truthful only to lose it all. When Kaeya had faced retribution for his sins. It wasn’t as bad as that day when Kaeya had accepted the end – when he had accepted that he wasn’t meant to be anything but a sinner but at least he had tried.  It wasn’t as bad when Kaeya had closed his gaze – a serene sense of peace engulfing him at least it was Luc – only for that heat to never come.

Instead of the warm embrace of retribution he faced the icy cool of reality. Kaeya Alberich was a sinner. A sinner that was meant to sin. A destiny far greater than what he wanted – a purpose that he’d have to pursue. 

And a sinner had to be alive to sin. And Kaeya was alive that day, more than ever. That he had to make a choice. Kaeya had been given another chance at life, but it was no longer a life that he was living, it was a lie that he’d continue.  

And it was at that moment when Kaeya realized as he flickered back to the present moment, hey, he was pretty traumatized. But that was nothing compared to the confused look in Diluc’s eye as his pupil constricted in fear. Where were they again? Oh right, they were playing a game! 

But when Kaeya looked at Diluc, that pain and that fear and that sadness all went away. The confusion went away. Like the sublimation of ice into mist. Like the ice wasn’t ever there. Like the pain wasn’t there. Because when Kaeya looked at Diluc, all he saw was Luc . 

Kaeya still remembers that day. Diluc had begun training for the knights as soon as he got his Vision – through a professional Pyro user, as per father’s request – so that he could join them in a few years. Luc would do anything to make Father happy. And Kaeya would do anything to make Diluc happy. Because even though a pit in Kaeya’s stomach tried to tell him the truth – that this wasn’t his family, his heart had already found a home and settled there. A lie could be happy.

Kaeya stared at the Vision that Diluc now wore with pride. It shone soft and steady – slightly shining just a little brighter before dimming. Like the way the candle in his room would ebb just before flickering into a bright light. A power waiting to be awoken. A flame ready to spread. 

Kaeya wouldn’t be able to sleep until the candle was extinguished. 

Kaeya wouldn’t admit it, but he was a little disappointed when Luc’s Vision turned out to be Pyro. He was of course happy for Diluc. But Kaeya couldn’t help but be afraid of fire. It was funny because Khaenri'ah was a land of darkness, wouldn’t they love to see the light? Chase it like a moth to a flame. Like hope to a land of despair. But no, Kaeya feared it – but he never was taught to. No, it was something that was embedded into him, something that was tethered into the very being of his soul trapping him there. It was instinct. It was survival. It was repentant. 

He should think about something else. He watched as Diluc trained. Father stood by watching with a smile. Kaeya watched Father smile and smiled. Wow, a lot of smiles.  Maybe one day Kaeya would get a Vision too and Father would beam with pride like that. Or maybe Kaeya could join the knights too one day. 

Kaeya looked at the lake behind him, they had decided it was a good idea for a new Pyro user to train near the water – just in case. And from what Kaeya saw – the way Diluc was unable to control his flames, it was a good idea. 

Kaeya would try to ignore the way that the hairs on the back of his neck would rise up as the flame would get closer as a spark would fly in the other direction. Perhaps it was not fear, it was prophecy. The way Kaeya would let go of the breath he didn’t even know he was holding when they’d switch to fighting with the wooden swords instead. 

But Kaeya watched his brother working so hard and smiled. Kaeya was so lucky.

“Good job Master Diluc, let’s go on a break.” the trainer said, and Kaeya smiled as he met Diluc’s eyes. 

Master Crepus smiled, "Good job. Now, that's my son.” He looked at Kaeya and corrected himself, “My sons . Let me get you boys something to eat,” and ruffled both their hairs. They all laughed. If this was what it was like, living in Diluc’s shadow, Kaeya could live it for eternity. Hey, Kaeya was from Khaenri'ah – this shadow was a blessing compared to the forever night of his land. 

“Hey, Kae! Let me show you something.” Luc said with a grin that was missing a tooth. 

Then Diluc opened his palms and Kaeya’s heart lurched as he saw the soft flame. He felt the cool water touch the back of his feet as he stepped backwards. Luckily Luc hadn’t seen him be afraid, so Kaeya stood there. Begging the fear to go away. Begging the fire to go away. 

“Does it hurt?” Kaeya asked as he watched the flame in Diluc’s palm – as calm as a flame could ever be. Kaeya looked at the flame, and he didn’t feel fear. 

“No, it feels kinda weird and warm, but it doesn’t hurt,” Diluc said looking at the flame with awe.

Maybe fire wasn’t so bad if it came from Luc. Maybe the fire wasn’t so scary. Maybe Kaeya didn’t need to be afraid anymore. Didn’t need to accept the darkness. That he could touch the light. 

So, Kaeya outstretched and just like he’d gently cup a firefly, his palm went to grab the flame, the little flame. 

He screamed.  It hurt a lot but the pain only lasted a second as he felt backwards into the water behind him. He heard Diluc cry. Then, felt a pain at the back of his head. Then, Kaeya saw black. 

When Kaeya woke up, he felt a dull ache and saw Adelinde looking at him with wide and teary eyes. “Master Kaeya, you’re awake!” Kaeya felt himself being hugged and it hurt, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Master Crepus, Master Diluc! Master Kaeya is awake,” Adelinde yelled out. The yelling hurt and Kaeya’s entire body recoiled. But he didn’t say anything. 

Father came running inside with Diluc behind him and Kaeya smiled. But Kaeya couldn’t help but look at Diluc, who seemed to be looking intently at the ground and not at Kaeya. Diluc stayed for a long time. 

“Luc?” Kaeya asked and his voice was so small and hoarse. Then, Diluc looked at him and the tears started falling. 

“Kae, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you!” 

Kaeya hugged Diluc, “It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” 

“But it is! Kaeya, I was so scared – I thought I hurt you and when you weren’t waking up I-I- ” Diluc began to sob. And Kaeya, being Kaeya, began to cry too. 

“I never want to hurt you Kae, never again.” Then Diluc hugged him. Kaeya looked past the red head and towards the door. 

Kaeya looked at his hand, which was red and curled it in, pressing his fingernails to the raw skin. 

It was the first time Kaeya had seen Diluc cry (not the fake cry that both of them did when they got in trouble or fought over something so they wouldn’t get in trouble). The next time was the day Father died. 

But Kaeya remembers the days – no, the weeks – following that day of training. Kaeya’s wish had come true: Diluc couldn’t use his Vision anymore. At first he refused to. He refused to use his Vision in any way, and instead focused on learning to fight using the sword. 

Kaeya had waited, just waited for the day for Father to look at him with disgust. To look at Kaeya in anger for dimming the flame – his flame. Diluc’s flame. For stepping on the embers before they could have ignited into a powerful fire. But that day never came. And Kaeya looked and looked. He looked to see if he could find that hatred in Father’s eyes. But when Kaeya looked at Father, all he saw was love. 

But then, Kaeya heard the conversation. When Father thought that Kaeya was napping in the afternoon sun. Diluc was running laps – which Kaeya hated so Kaeya had decided to return home. 

“Master Crepus, Diluc is excelling at sword fighting. He is truly talented." the trainer said. 

“That is excellent,” Father replied. 

“Master Crepus, your son is a prodigy, he is the most incredible talent we have seen.” 

“Thank you. He is truly amazing.” Father replied. 

“But the boy refuses to use his Vision. He’s holding himself back, dimming his light.” the trainer argued. 

“The boy will do so when he is ready,” Father replied, a small hint of assertiveness in his voice. 

“You have been saying this for weeks. I hope it is sooner, rather than later for both your sakes,” the trainer replied. 

The door opened and Diluc walked in. Kaeya opened his eyes and looked at Diluc’s Vision. It was dull, but alive. It just no longer shone. And Kaeya felt bad – because he had dimmed Diluc’s light, and he didn’t want to be that person. And for some reason, it left a lump in his throat. 

So, he confronted Diluc. “You can’t be afraid of using your Vision cause of me, Luc.” 

“I’m not, Kae.”  Diluc had replied angrily. Kaeya noticed how the Vision didn’t even flicker any brighter. 

So, little Kae ran into danger head first without a care. Diluc’s flames came back. His Vision stronger as ever as the Hydro slime evaporated. From that day forward, Diluc’s Vision never dared to falter, and instead shone bright and strong, like an endless fire. Stronger than it ever was before. LIke a phoenix from the ashes. It was that day Kaeya learned how manipulation was a pretty amazing tool when done right. And Kaeya was pretty good at it. It was like a game of chess. Kaeya liked games. He liked playing chess with Diluc. He often won. 

The next time Kaeya saw Diluc cry was on that fateful day. The next time Kaeya saw Diluc’s Vision shine even more brightly was that fateful day. The next time Kaeya saw Diluc’s flames disappear – Diluc’s Vision dim –  was that fateful day. 

The last day Diluc ever picked up a sword was that fateful day. Kaeya always wondered why Diluc started using a claymore, but Kaeya had his answer – he didn’t even need to ask. The last day Diluc ever drank a sip of alcohol was that fateful day. That fateful day where Kaeya realized that fearing his brother was much worse than that fear of the flames. 

And then, the memory faded away. And for some reason, even though his fingers were burning red and raw, his palms, covered by the gloves, hurt more. 

And his heart raced. He thought about the rain from that day. It was raining today too. He put a gloved hand to his wound, and it was bleeding again. It was from the mission today. But it felt like the one that Diluc had given to him all those years ago. Oh, didn’t he tell Jean he was going to Barbara. He didn’t want to waste her time. Oh, but he wanted to see how the kids were doing. How Diluc was doing. 

The memories swirled. Kaeya, who had chosen his fate that day, only to find out that he never had a choice in the first place, remembered what it was like. But most of all, he remembered the fear and the sadness. The way that he knew that Diluc wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if Kaeya had met his demise at Diluc’s sword. 

But, here Kaeya stood the memories frozen. Burnt again by the same person. Luc. 

“Sir Kaeya?” the redhead spoke. Why was the redhead so worried? 

Kaeya didn’t reply. He felt funny. He wanted dandelion wine. Ah, yes that could help. 

Oh, maybe that’s why the redhead was so worried and he looked angry right? Yes, why would Master Diluc ever be concerned about Kaeya. Master Diluc was angry and Kaeya knew exactly why. 

“Don’t worry Master Diluc, I didn’t steal any dandelion wine.” The redhead seemed unphased. 

The world was spinning. His entire body felt frozen and burned. Kaeya drifted between memories and the present. He didn’t know where he was. All he saw were flashes of what once was, what could have been and what actually was. 

Oh right, Kaeya was a sinner. And sinners faced their retribution. That’s why the redhead was there. That’s why the redhead was mad. 

But why was Kaeya nervous? Why was he scared? Hadn’t he already accepted it? 

But the fear coursed through him as he looked at the red eyes and watched as the redhead’s hands moved towards him. 

Kaeya saw black, but before that, just for a mere little second before that, he saw blue .

Chapter Text

DILUC POV 

Diluc watched in silent horror as the memories faded away, and instead of the pained memories from the past, he saw the broken, bloody Kaeya of the present. Diluc could always tell when Kaeya was acting weird, or strange, or even when Kaeya was actually nervous and actually scared. And, right now, Kaeya looked weak. He looked scared. He looked just like Little Kae, who used to cry at the sound of thunder. The Little Kae they had found in the rain. He looked like the brother Diluc had left for dead that day in the rain. 

Diluc gasped when he realized what he had done. The memories vanished with a trace – though one might have expected them to get worse.  He hadn’t noticed the Vision, blaring red. He hadn’t noticed the way his fingers were burning with his flame. He had burned Kaeya. Again. Today. 

How could Diluc have done that? 

“Kaeya?” Diluc spoke guilt laced in his voice. He tried to reach, with his hands that were no longer carrying the flame. But Kaeya was zoned out. 

“Kaeya, I’m sorr-.” Diluc spoke. How pathetic, Diluc couldn't even apologize for burning Kaeya’s hands.  Kaeya stood there, zoned off. In his own world. The world that Diluc had been moments prior. 

Diluc watched in silent horror as Kaeya observed his own hands, as though he was in a trance. Diluc stared with guilt as Kaeya’s fingertips were now red and bruising. Wherever the gloves weren't, Kaeya's skin was red. 

Diluc knew he had to help Kaeya. Knew that he needed to do something. But, when it seemed that Kaeya’s arm – not burnt by any flame – seemed to hurt more than the hands that were just burnt, DIluc knew. Because Diluc had burned him there, that day. 

Because Diluc could tell when Kaeya wasn’t feeling well. Kaeya would try to be more energetic, more happier. As if he could compensate for the pain by wearing a mask. But Diluc could read through those masks, because Diluc was the reason they were made. 

He watched as Kaeya’s eye unfocused and dazed. He watched as Kaeya’s uniform got more soaked in blood. And it was strange, because seeing Kaeya hurt brought him out of the memories yet kept him chained to them. He had to help Kaeya. Diluc couldn’t speak. They weren’t brothers. No, not anymore. He couldn’t just tell his little brother he was worried. He couldn't tell Kaeya to go to the cathedral. He couldn’t take Kaeya. Because he lost any right to do that. They weren’t brothers. 

But Kaeya looked so weak. And Diluc’s voice wasn’t working. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Diluc mustered a weak, “Sir Kaeya?” 

And Diluc couldn’t hide the fear from his eyes.The way that Kaeya swayed ever so slightly, the way that he staggered for a mere moment. The way that he clutched the wound from the mission today but seemed to be more daunted by the fog of the past. 

Kaeya couldn’t hide the fear from his eye either. Diluc watched with guilt.

Kaeya didn’t reply. And other times, Diluc would have been mad. He would have gotten annoyed. But not this time. They were still brothers. They once were. Until Diluc messed it all up. Diluc ruined all of this. He ruined everything. 

And now, here Kaeya was in need of help, and Diluc couldn’t do anything but stand there pathetically. How pathetic. 

“Don’t worry Master Diluc, I didn’t steal any dandelion wine.” Kaeya slurred weakly. 

Right. That’s what their entire family had now turned into. Because Kaeya wouldn’t fathom that Diluc actually cared about him as a person. No, Diluc was cruel. But fate was crueler. Because Kaeya looked even weaker. His skin became ever so pale. 

And when Diluc finally mustered the courage to move forward…

Diluc saw blue . 

And his heart lurched. He felt the air go out of his lungs. He felt his Vision dim. He felt his entire body freeze.  Diluc watched Kaeya’s ice shield, frozen and unmoving. Changing and unforgiving. 

Diluc wasn’t sure if he screamed or not. But he raced towards Kaeya’s falling body, he felt his hands freeze for a mere second, then with a burst of flames as he broke through the ice shield, praying that he did not burn Kaeya for a second – no third time. Guilt lurched in his heart along with the sadness. 

Diluc’s eyes widened in horror as Kaeya’s eye shut, and his features will replaced with a soft smile . The same smile from that day. 

And the memories dared to come back. Dared to fight. But right now, as he held Kaeya’s frozen, unmoving body within his palms. Surrounded by shattered ice and droplets water, Diluc didn’t have time. Kaeya didn’t have time.

Diluc ran. He pressed his palms against Kaeya’s wound. It was worse than he thought. 

Kaeya’s body felt frozen. 

He felt the rain, now a thunderstorm, patter against his face. But he tasted the salty tears as he held his baby brother.

He slammed open the doors of the cathedral, and the nuns looked at him with shock and wide eyes. 

“Barbara!” he yelled. 

And, as soon as Diluc passed Kaeya’s body to the nuns, saw Barbara there and saw that Kaeya was put onto a bed. He sent a prayer to the Archons. No he did not pray. He begged.

Then, Diluc too, saw black. 

KAEYA POV 

He blinked. It was blurry. He looked around. Where was he? Oh, the cathedral. The last thing he had remembered was that he was on a mission. Oh right. He had gone to Angel’s Share. Master Diluc.

Kaeya, with the energy he did not know he had quickly sat up. It was painful but he looked around with fear. His heart stopped racing when he saw a bundle of red hair a couple feet away, on the second hospital bed. 

“Master Diluc?” Kaeya spoke in a groggy and weak voice. Keaya didn’t sound like himself. 

“He was awake not too long ago, but he went back to sleep.” Barbara spoke. Kaeya turned around to look at her – slightly startled. 

She looked stressed.

“Sir Kaeya, how are you feeling?” She questioned. 

“Never better,” Kaeya spoke with his characteristic smile.

Barbara nodded for a quick second. Then, Barbara wacked him. 

“Hey!” Kaeya cried, covering his head with his arms. Ouch that hurt. 

“Stop moving, you're going to open your stitches" Barbara then scolded.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to, if someone was not attacking their patient after they just woke up!” Kaeya screeched (or at least as close he could get to a screech with his groggy and tired voice). 

Then, after Barbara finally stopped her attack, she leaned over and hugged him with tears in her eyes, “Sir Kaeya, don’t do that ever again. You were really hurt.” 

Kaeya’s mask fell and he didn’t really know what to say. So, he said nothing. 

“Kae?” A groggy voice spoke. 

Kaeya turned in shock to meet Diluc’s equally shocked gaze. Kaeya ignored the dull pain in his heart that ached at the sound of his old nickname, It was a mistake. Kaeya knew that hope was not worth it. 

“Master Diluc?” Kaeya spoke in shock regardless. 

“Sir Kaeya!”  Diluc exclaimed after a correcting cough trying to get up. 

Diluc looked tired. Had he been crying? 

But before Kaeya could reply, Barbara was in front of him, pushing Diluc back into the hospital bed. 

“You also!” Barbara said angrily (again), “Need to take better care of yourself. Both of you! You two are on bed rest until I say so!” 

Kaeya and Diluc both knew better than to argue with her. So, they stayed in silence until she walked away. If they were kids and brothers, they would have probably looked at each other and burst out laughing. But they weren’t kids anymore. They weren’t brothers anymore either. 

This was awkward. Kaeya yawned as he heard Diluc cough. Kaeya wasn’t sure if he should bring up anything so he just lay there resting. 

Suddenly, the silence was broken, surprisingly by Diluc, “How are you feeling?”

Kaeya turned his head to look at Diluc. They had a small table between them. 

“I’m alright.” Kaeya said, because he didn’t know what else to say. The memories had come back, and he didn’t want to be the first one to bring up the whole ‘so we were both thinking of that day and we have a lot of issues’ conversation. So, he wore his mask, the one that said that he was fine. 

“You were out cold for a while,” Diluc said, his voice tired. Kaeya could tell that behind those words was a ‘I was worried about you.’ 

Kaeya didn’t know how to feel about that. He felt a tinge of happiness, like a warmth that he did not know he was capable of feeling. 

Kaeya tried to move his bandaged hands, but he couldn’t really.

Diluc noticed, and slightly coughed. “I’m, uh, sorry about that.” Diluc said. 

“It’s fine.” Kaeya said and tried to do a thumbs up. He couldn’t. So he spoke instead. 

“I’m guessing you are sick cause of me, so I am sorry about that. Master Diluc.” 

“That’s fine. Barbara said I caught something while running in the rain.” Diluc said. 

This was awkward. Like really awkward. Should Kaeya thank him for running in the rain to save him. But Diluc was also kinda the reason why Kaeya was here too. 

“What do you remember?” Diluc asked. Ah, Kaeya was not hoping for this conversation. 

“I remember, that I, Sir Kaeya, had valiantly returned from my mission, and had a visit to your tavern. I remember not getting my dandelion wine.” 

“Okay.” Diluc said. It was clear none of them were gonna talk about this. And that was normal. Kaeya had realized that’s what was left of their brotherhood. Memories and conversations that were not spoken. That day was never spoken about. And Kaeya now knew why. It was bad for both of them. 

Kaeya yawned. “I’m gonna go sleep a little more. Y’know as a great knight and everything.” 

Kaeya did not sleep. Or at least did not sleep for a while. But eventually he had drifted off to a rest. When he woke up, it was to Barbara muttering angrily at him as she removed his bandages. 

“Sir Kaeya! How many times do I have to tell you to be careful when training with Bennett?” 

Kaeya didn’t even bother to correct her. Kaeya looked up. Not daring to look at Master Diluc. 

Time went by slowly. Kaeya found himself drifting in and out of sleep. He had a couple of visitors, but Barbara had scared them (yes scared) away, telling them that Sir Kaeya needed to rest. 

Kaeya looked across at Diluc who looked at him. Ah, yes this was awkward. 

“So, I guess we know the answer to your shield now,” Diluc coughed. Was Diluc trying to make a joke? Kaeya must really be out of it. Kaeya couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle. This was embarrassing as well. Kaeya never wanted Diluc to find out about that. Why? He didn’t know if it was for more his sake or Diluc’s. But nope, that game had made all of this happen.  

Wait. 

“Master Diluc, you are a genius!” Kaeya quickly tried getting up. It hurt but he was on a mission. He grabbed his coat, and shook it. Oh it wasn’t there. The coat was clean as well, no longer bloody. 

“Sir Kaeya, what are you doing?” Diluc scoffed. 

Kaeya ignored him as he went through the drawers with his stuff. Finally. He picked up the unopened, pristine, deck of Genius Invokation TCG and wiggled his eyebrows as he smiled as Diluc. 

Diluc rolled his eyes, “No.” 

Kaeya grinned, “Oh, c’mon Master Diluc, it’s just a game !”