Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

-11:45AM-

It was a quiet, sunny morning, the light peeked through the curtains slowly, Emily was still peacefully asleep in bed as her alarm went off, -BEEP-BEEP-BEEP- "Fuck yooouu" she mumbled as she threw the alarm clock on the floor, she nuzzled her face into her pillow groaning slightly, then, her phone went off. She stretched her arm to the table near her bed and grabbed her phone, 

MIKE: Morning Em, u okay?

Emily started at the message, her thumb hovering over the screen, not knowing what to say back. Its not like she wasn't okay, or maybe she's not, she just didn't know how she felt.

EMILY: Yeah I'm fine, u??

She looked at her message for a while before she sent it, the bright screen glowing on her face. The room was still and dark, Emily finally got out of bed, her long hoodie sleeves falling past her hands, walking over to the warm curtains to open them. Then, her phone went off again. She quickly ran over to her phone, walking back over to the window after.

MIKE: I'm good, u still coming 2 the stockroom today ?

"Fuck, I forgot" She thought, she had said yesterday she would go if she wasn't busy, "I cant just not go, they would think somethings up" she pondered as she looked out the window, seeing the trees swaying in the distance.

EMILY: Yeah sure! What time though?

MIKE: How's 12:30pm ?

Emily didn't realise Mike had texted back so fast, She looked down at her phone to see what he had said, "I can do any time, It's not like I'm ever busy" she thought, brushing her hair back from her face.

EMILY: Yea that's great, see u then !

She stared at her phone before locking it and slipping it into her pocket. "Ughhh, I'm so tired," she groaned, walking over to her wardrobe. She picked out a pair of black joggers, a grey top, and her favourite white hoodie. Wandering back to the bed, she laid her clothes out and started getting dressed, pulling the hoodie over her head, the sleeves brushing past her hands.
Emily moved to the mirror, tying her hair up into a messy bun. She reached for her mascara, brushing a little onto her long lashes—just enough to feel like herself.
She grabbed some stuff to put in her bag for when she leaves — Her phone charger, perfume, Her favourite lip balm, a hairbrush and a few hair ties, and other small extra things. 
She slowly wandered downstairs, setting her bag down by the door. 

The house was quiet, the kind of quiet that made every small sound feel louder. The soft creak of the floorboards, the shuffle of her socks against the tile—it was all strangely comforting.
She glanced at the clock hanging in the hallway. Still time before she had to leave.
With a small sigh, she headed into the kitchen, opening the fridge without really knowing what she was looking for. Her eyes landed on a carton of orange juice and she grabbed it, pouring herself a small glass. She leaned against the counter, sipping slowly, letting the silence wrap around her for a minute.
 Her phone buzzed in her pocket, she reached down to grab it to unlock it.

MIKE: Let me know when ur on your way :)

Emily didn't know how to respond, she didn't know if she wanted to. It was a casual friendly message, she stared at it for a bit longer, "I'll reply later" she thought putting her phone back in her pocket. She put the glass of orange juice down on the counter as she walked into the living room to sit down for a bit, she threw herself onto the warm, beige sofa and rested her hands on her chest, starting at the ceiling as the sun casted through the window. Emily slid her phone out her pocket, checking the time, -12:15PM- "Best if I leave now then" she said to herself crawling off of the sofa, walking into the hallway. It was always dark in the hallway, she never knew why, she didn't even notice sometimes, Emily slid on some sliders and grabbed her bag and keys and reached for her phone from her pocket, to message Mike.

EMILY: hey, can u actually pick me up from mine? I'm too tired to walk :p

She set her phone down on the table in the hall and began to slowly wandering around in the same spot for a few minutes— waiting for a reply. Her phone chimed, she instantly rushed to her phone to see that Mike had texted back.

MIKE: Yeah sure! I'll be there in about 10 mins ;)

EMILY: Thanks ;)

Emily set her things down on the stairs as she walked back over to the sofa lobbing herself onto the cushions, scrolling on her phone. She had went past all the hate messages on her phone—she hadn't realised there was that many. Emily began to read one, and before she read the last sentence, she threw her phone on the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks, and ran upstairs to the bathroom—She locked the door and sat on the cold floor near the bathroom cupboard. "Why do people still hate me, I never did anything wrong!" she thought, without thinking, she grabbed a small tub from the cabinet and opened it. Inside, there was a small sharpener blade. Emily had told herself she wouldn't hurt herself again, but it was too late, she rolled up her sleeve and dug the blade into her arm. She held back sharp, desperate tears, as blood dripped down her arm and onto the floor. 

After a few cuts, she put the blade back in the tub and into the cabinet, she peered back at her arm; "Shit" she said, seeing that the blood had dripped from her arm to the floor. Carefully, she wiped the blood off her arm with lukewarm water on a towel and applied a bandage to her arm, but then, there was a knock at the door. "Fuck, that's probably Mike. I need to clean this floor up" she said to herself, She got a wet cloth and started cleaning up the blood as fast as she could—Finally, she pulled her hoodie sleeve down and unlocked the bathroom door, "Hopefully the cuts wont leak through to my hoodie..." she thought to herself, putting the towel in the washing basket.
Emily quickly ran downstairs and grabbed her phone, keys and bag and opened the door to see Mike, leaning against the doorframe, "Hey" he said with a slight grin on his face "Hi" she said back. It was a small, friendly, awkward conversation, but Emily didn't mind it.

-AT THE STOCKROOM-

"You seem a bit cold" Mike grinned at Emily, looking at her arms wrapped around her trying to warm herself up, "Yeah, a bit" she let out a small laugh as they both walked through the door into the stockroom. Emily liked it there, it was familiar to her, the way she preferred it. "Obviously, Make yourself comfortable and I will be back in a minute just gonna go grab something" Mike told Emily, watching her sit down, making sure she's okay— "Alright" she said back as he wandered out into the hallway, Emily set her things down next to her and pulled out her phone from her pocket. Before she even opened her Instagram, her stomach rumbled, "Shit, I forgot to pack something to eat" she remembered,— Emily didn't really like eating in front of other people, just the thought for her putting food in her mouth when other people were near made her feel sick. Thoughts rushed to her head; "What if Mike asks me if I want anything and I say no.....he would think somethings up." "What if its silent and my stomach rumbles again and it gets awkward?" "What if she watches me getting up to find something to eat?"

Mike walked back in the room to see Emily, with both her hands covering her face, he instantly went over to her to see if she was okay— "Emily...?" he said softly, she didn't reply, she was too lost in her thoughts to hear anything, "Em!" he spoke a bit louder, but still no answer. Mike carefully laid his hand on her shoulder, she flinched, and instantly removed her hands from her face, she began to breathe slightly faster as her heart rate grew faster,— "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay Em?" he said in a soft manner, "Yeah, Yeah, I'm just a bit tired that's all" she said back quickly, "Alright, if you wanna go home earlier today to rest, then you just let me know, okay? I'll take you back." he spoke carefully, watching Emily nod and then looking away. Mike sat over in his chair and turned to the monitor, "Brad asked me to show you something to get your thoughts on it, I'll get it up just give me a sec." He muttered, just loud enough for Emily to hear him. The room was silent, other than the few clicks of the mouse that Mike was using. 

"Hey Mike...?" Emily said, her eyes stayed fixed on the rug near her shoes, Mike glanced back to look at her, "Yeah, what's up?" She hesitated, "C-can you maybe take me home now...? I'm just not really feeling it today." "Of course, anything for you to feel better." the male said with a smile as he began to stand up. "I'm sorry..." She murmured,  "Em, what's going on. You don't need to be sorry." Mike spoke softly looking at Emily carefully, her vision went blurry from her tears as she began to cry, her head became fuzzy, she couldn't hear anything other than the thoughts in her head about the comments online. Emily gripped onto her hair hoping for it all to stop, Mike instantly rushed over to her as he looked at the state she was in, "Em! Emily, can you hear me??" He said as he held onto her hands to try stop her from ripping her hair out, "Em, It's okay, can you please try look at me?" he said quickly, but softly. She could feel his concern in his voice, Mike felt Emily's grip on her hair loosen as her hands completely fell into his, she slowly looked up at Mike with tears streaming down her cheeks, "Oh Emily...it's okay, come here—" he said as he gently pulled her into a quiet hug,  she felt a bit more at ease in his arms, she needed a hug for a long time.

About an hour later, Emily was settled down on the sofa she was on earlier, she hadn't realised she fell asleep—Mike came back in to see her awake, and rushed over to see her. "Hey, Em, you feeling better?" he said to her, as he gently placed his hand on hers to help ground her. The room was quiet, but dull, Emily's eyes looked sore from the crying, "Yeah...a bit" she replied, "Well that's good, I was worried about you earlier, what happened?" Mike questioned, "Uhh... I-I" she stopped for a moment, her eyes flickering away from his. She wasn’t sure how to explain it without falling apart. Her fingers fiddled with the edge of the blanket draped over her lap, knuckles pale from holding on too tight. 

Mike didn’t press. He waited, patient and soft, like he knew she just needed a little more time. "...I saw some stuff online. About me," she finally whispered, barely louder than the hum of the old fan in the corner. "Comments. Just... mean ones." Mike’s expression didn’t change much, but his eyes darkened slightly with quiet anger—not at her, but at whoever had made her feel this small. "Em, I’m so sorry," he said gently. "People say awful things they’d never have the guts to say to someone’s face. That doesn’t make it true. You know that, right?" She shrugged, trying to act like it didn’t sting as bad as it did. "It’s just hard sometimes. They talk like they know me. Like I’m not even a real person... just someone they can pick apart." Mike reached over, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face. "You are real, Em. And you're allowed to feel hurt. But don’t ever let their words define you. You're more than that. So much more." Emily bit her lip, eyes glassy again. But instead of tears this time, there was a small, exhausted smile pulling at the corner of her lips. "Thanks, Mike..." He smiled back, pulling the blanket a little closer around her. "I’ve got your back. Always." She leaned into him just a little, her head resting against his shoulder, the weight of the past hour still there but not as heavy. 

Chapter Text

-2:48PM-

Mike had just dropped Emily off back home not long ago, she was in her room, lying face down on her bed as the soft shadows casted through the windows. She wanted to tell Mike everything — but she just didn't know how, she picked up her phone from the end of her bed, to see a message from Colin, 

COLIN: Hey Em can I come over to just chill ? I have way too much free time rn

Emily stared at the message for a while, she didn't know if she wanted anyone near her at the moment, she had too much going on — But maybe just having someone like Colin around could help her feel a bit better, she brought her phone back to her face — her thumb hovering over the screen.

EMILY: Yeah sure ! Could use some company :)

COLIN: Cool! I'll be round in a bit :)

Emily turned her phone off and threw it across the bed, she didn't even know what she was doing, "Do I really need company though? My life is hard enough on my own" She thought to herself as she grabbed one of her pillows from near her headboard and dug her hands into it as strong as she could— trying to release some of the build up of emotions inside. She was tired, exhausted— it wasn't always an unusual feeling for her, it just felt stronger this time, like she hadn't slept for months. Emily sat up slowly on the bed, her feet meeting the ground, she stared at the skirting board of the white wall in front of her — her eyes started to feel fuzzy, watery. Her tears began to fall, slowly, gently.

-DING- 'Shit, that's probably Colin' she thought as she wiped the tears off her face with the edge of her sleeve, quickly running to the door, as Emily got to the door—she hesitated. She looked at the mirror on the wall near her hung up coat, quickly rubbing off the marks of her mascara her tears had made, she grabbed the handle, as Emily opened the door, Colin's hazel eyes met hers. "Sup Em, you alright?" he said to her, hands in his pockets, "Yeah....come in" Emily replied softly.

Colin parked himself on the sofa in the living room, Emily followed behind him, slowly sitting down next to him, "So, what have you been up to recently?" He said to Emily, looking at her watery eyes, she hesitated, "Not much." Colin felt that something was wrong, he just didn't want to say anything—but he had to, "Hey Em, are you sure your okay? You just seem a bit off" Emily felt the tears forming, she felt weak. She tried to pull herself together, she just couldn't, before she knew it—her tears began to fall, a sob broke through, she couldn't do this. "Oh Em, come here" Colin said gently opening his arms for herr, Emily gripped onto his hoodie, "It's okay Em, its gonna be okay" he assured her.

After a few minutes, Emily's tears began to slow, she wanted to tell Colin—"Hey, Colin...?" she hesitated, she wanted to say something, she didn't know how the conversation would end though. Colin pulled back slightly so he could see Emily, "Em, you alright? What's up?" he replied "I-I uhh" she stuttered, "I wanna t-tell you s-something." She tensed up, she was too scared to say what she had done to her arm, she couldn't anything in that moment, "Of course, you can tell me anything" he said back in a calming matter,

"Fuck, fuck, I cant tell him" she thought, "Umm, its just that, I feel better now.....thanks" she mumbled, she couldn't say it, she felt safer telling Mike—it wasn't like Emily didn't trust Colin, it was hard to explain. "Aw, anytime Emily, Okay? If you really do feel better, I can go, only if you want me to though" Colin said back, Emily didn't want Colin to go, but at the same time she did, "Yeah, I think I can manage one my own" ...........to be continued...