Work Text:
“Hello?”
All Lucy could see was darkness. She was kneeled down, tracing the grains of stone on the floor with her hands. Scratches all over her body. She was bruised down to the bone, but Lucy breathed through it easily. She had gotten used to living with the bruises, the injuries and the aching pains. It never seemed to go away, even magically healed. Only in the rare moments, alone in her home, soaking in the heat of a warm bath.
Only in the moments she is laughing so hard, she can’t think of anything else but the family next to her.
Only in the moments, alcohol had taken it all, and left her with a giggling haze.
In those moments, the aches, reminders, the graves, don’t come forward. They are there, you can’t really erase pain, but they become nothing more than a sting of the past. Nothing more than a ghost that slowly fades as the present glows in light.
In this moment though, she had no such distraction. She felt every ache, every bruise, every scratch. She felt the last of her dignity in the last of the fabric clinging to her glaringly. She felt the stone scratching her hands apart, her breath increasing as she stayed blind to the world.
“Hello?” She asked louder. She strained her ears trying to hear where her voice ended. She heard a slight echo, but no clear limit.
A breathe in.
‘Okay, not the first time. Feel and assess.’
She started feeling along the lines of the floor, feeling the ridges of what seems to be jagged stones. She followed, crawling slowly. It took a mere 4 inches away for her hand to hit a wall. She bumped to it slightly as her hand, aching with scratches, followed the line up.
It was the strangest wall she had ever felt, sloping closer to her and inwards depending on height. It didn’t necessarily feel like stone, there was a texture that felt almost velvet. She started exploring as much as she could on her knees trying to find a clear feature that could help, but the contours were not right.
Almost like bulbs, the wall came forward and backwards in no pattern. She felt the different circles and masses thoroughly confused on what type of wall she was even looking at.
Until she realized.
Masses.
She flatten her hands against the wall, using the palm of her hands to press deeply.
She waited.
A second.
Another.
Until she felt it, the slight beat.
She concentrated harder, tempted to bring her ears close to the wall, but restraining herself with a learned survival instinct. Her eyes stayed focused on the focal point that might or might not be her hands. Even blind, she knew she had to stay alert. If she was right…
Another beat.
She could feel it then. A slight pulsing, a rhythmic beat that pulsed under her hands. It was subtle, a minute reaction that if not concentrated on could not be sensed. If she could see, she would be able to see this movement. How it pulsed up and down, each bulb taking its own rhythm and moving as a wave down. And up.
And around.
She felt again and the velvet took a different texture. Softer, rubbery. Almost like a piece of raw meat. Soggy with a substance that wasn’t wet.
‘It was organic.’ She realized.
Her vision suddenly started to clear and in the darkness, under her hands was a red and living organic substance.
Lucy put her hands back, disgusted, as it pulsed stronger, faster.
A wall of organic matter, red and pulsing with a bunch of connecting bulging parts was before her. She gagged in disgust, unable to stop taking in the horrifying details. The veins that connected and the bulging expanses of exposed flesh. She wondered if she was in a monster again, staring at the wall of their innards.
Then she realized she could see. Her vision suddenly cleared to the wall, to the floor that was grainy black stone and to the expanse of a dim room. She moved to look up and start to stand, but as her eyes dragged up the wall, she couldn’t help but to scream.
Following the contours, streaming up like a series of muscular lines, a contouring upper body pushed out. Right above her kneeling, a face pushed out. Face forward, the face was a mask of shock and fierce determination. It was not human any longer, but a leftover of what a human could be. Reaching for something more.
And that human was,
“Natsu?”
Lucy's voice trembled, her lungs unable to take in the air as she looked at her best friend. His body disappearing into the beast.
There was no response.
No sign of life outside of the periodic pulsing of organic matter that has become his body.
“Natsu!” She stood up quickly, curling her hands around his face, trying to understand his new form. Was he dead?
‘He can’t be. He can’t be.’
‘He wasn’t’
Lucy couldn’t hold herself together as when she turned to look around, Natsu wasn’t the only one hanging from the organic beast that was surrounding her.
Everyone was there.
Gray.
Erza.
Wendy.
Gajeel.
Levy.
Lisanna.
Juvia
Mira.
Laxus.
Cana.
Elfman.
Everyone from the guild was there.
If she looked up she would see Happy and Carla protected by Panther Lily. If she looked to the side she would see Master Makorov, face completely immobile, but she could hardly control herself.
She was overtaken by horror, by fear, by dread, by the encroaching terror. She started screaming.
“Natsu! Erza! Gray! Anyone!” Her hands scrambled, trying to find her keys on her body.
Lost in the emotions, she jumped when she heard a croaking sound.
“Lu-cy” She turned slowly, her body stiff and out of her control. She turned to rising waters, as they lapped against her feet.
Before her was Aquarious. Majestic, powerful, beautiful Aquarius. Her vase, abandoned and cracked. Her figure blinking, sparkling, cracking like a faint image. She flickered in and out of existence.
That's when Lucy remembered.
And when she woke up.
She jolted awake, her limbs flaring out. Her voice caught in her throat. Lucy was sweating, choking on the memories and on the fear as she remembered. Her dream, a clear reflection of her memory. She turned to the side, hoping to find her keys at her bedside to find she wasn’t home at all.
Her lower body was trapped, a weight of a cat holding it down. Curled around her waist were hands and the tense body of Natsu. Lying on her other side was Wendy curled inwards, taking the small space that existed there. Lucy was lucky to have her hands even free, she realized.
Protecting Wendy was Erza, facing her. She could hear the snuffling around, as pieces of her memory returned to fill in the puzzle. All around her, in a variety of different positions, on mats on the floor, sitting uncomfortably on the couches and makeshift beds, was her family.
The repairs were taking a while. Were going to last for a long moment. The dorm needed a full repair, objects strewn everywhere from the damage of a stray blast. Lucy's apartment was logically fine, but she couldn’t access the streets that surrounded it. A fallen tree, a crack in the foundation, there were all types of damages. At least that’s the excuse she gave herself. No one wanted to be alone and too many homes were destroyed.
Natsu’s cabin in the woods was gone. Torn down by an unknown assailant. Everyone had an idea of who, but kept it to themselves knowing that it would not help. A few members with individual homes held the same story, some excuses, others a large amount of damage.
The guild building was fine. ‘Fine’ being a very loose word for the type of damage in the guild. It gave the perfect excuse though, to drag the mats and beds to the adjacent building lounge and group everything together in a pile of sleeping bodies. Some were set up in stilts, making a puzzle of preserved injury. Others slept like a guard, close to the stairs prepared to intervene at any clear moment. They all cling to each other, creating a nest of protection for our weakest, Team Natsu at its center.
Lucy had fallen asleep comfortably. Tired, but comfortable. Now she lost that completely.
She tried to calm herself down, and tried to assure herself from the reminder of her loss. From the haunting figures and growing horror. She could hardly move to check where her keys were. Lucy could feel them nearby, but even now with everyone around her, she needs them in her hand. She could lose them. She could lose them like she lost…
“Here.” Whispered quietly into the air, Erza eyes are open. She peers into Lucy and in her hands was Lucy’s keys. Lucy reached as she could from her position, trapped as a pillow, desperately. She grabbed the keys, bringing them to her chest, arms twisting from a pretzel.
Immediately her keys glowed, a comforting wave of emotion following through them. The warmth crawled through her arm, warmed her heart, and calmed her soul. Her magic flared in connection, giving a brief summary of her spirits’ emotions.
Worry.
Comfort.
Care.
Love.
Some were just feeling, recovering themselves from a turbulent fight. Resting as much as a time dilation could afford. Some were thinking of her, worried. Loke especially seemed to be in a worried mood. She could feel him trying to curl her under his protection while seemingly distracted himself, dealing with the spirit world.
Lucy liked to think he was giving Aquarius updates. Checking up with her. Taking care of her from a sudden rip of connection to the Earthworld.
Lucy liked to think that all her spirits were together, much like FairyTail was now, taking comfort from one another. Knowing Aquarius though, that seemed unlikely.
Her breath stabilized. Her heart calmed to a more manageable level. She calmed down her magic which had latched to her keys desperately. She kept the connection open, liking the feeling of all her spirits, but did not strain her body more than she should.
Her body still ached. Wendy has been tired, dealing with Porlyusica all types of injuries. Lucy had a bad run, a lot of cracked and broken bones, water in her lungs. Her magical supplies were there, but ripped to shreds. She’s stuck on magical probation for the next month.
She wasn’t the only one. Most of the guild, minus a few exceptions, were on magical probation. Cana’s supplies were ripped to shreds, she will need a month to recover enough for any of us to feel comfortable letting her go on missions. Mira’s arm was covered from the tip of her fingers to her shoulder in dark marks. Until it was gone, Elfman and Lisanna were going to hover around her making sure she didn’t overextend herself. On to the siblings, they were on “full animal transformation probation” until their bodies recovered. A long road ahead of them.
Erza’s magic was on the fritz, common after a big battle and not enough magic to sustain corners of her spatial dimension. Daggers were appearing at random, falling out of the sky around her. So far, other than a few funny accidents, nobody was in danger of being impaled.
The list continues from there.
Juvia is on 2 month probation, having extended her body beyond reason as well as apparently scared the shit out Gray at one point. She will be solid for the next month at least.
Gray in turn had the usual mess of a body and crazy fever that was coming in and out. They, being Porlyusica and Wendy, were worried over the new addition to his magical shores, but have concluded that after a bit of time adjusting, his body will adjust.
Gajeel and Levy were attached to the hip with Jet and Droy hovering over the edges. Gajeel hovered over Levy in worry, essentially putting her in front of the injury list early on after a very strong demand to check her lungs. He was right to worry, much like Lucy herself, Levy had water built up in her lung. They were both getting checked for illnesses constantly, worried about all types of conditions that could show up while they recovered.
Gajeel got hit by his own insistence with an early medical check up, but thankfully (much like most of the dragon slayers) was only hit with a month of rest and light training for his escapades. They both crashed after a while, mulling close to the rest of the team. Jet and Droy, who had been hovering with light injuries of their own, were finally put out of their misery when Levy (and surprisingly Gajeel as well) dragged them to sleep in the piles.
The Thundertribe were exhausted beyond measure. Injuries were varied, but rough. Freed was too out of it to even comment in the recent days, coming in and out of awareness slowly. Bixlow was mourning and rebuilding some of his puppets. It's a bit devastating to watch. Laxus was…recovering. He was a live wire at the moment, unable to control bits and pieces of his voltage. Being the private person he was, Lucy doesn’t know the extent of his injuries but can guess by the hovering done by the others. Ever, as the least injured in comparison (which isn’t much), was keeping an eye on all of them, delivering their needs.
They stuck closer, Laxus acting as guard with his magic flaring at any moment. Lucy could guess, from his glances before they all went to sleep, that he wished he had joined the pile that was his team, but sadly, it wasn’t safe yet. She hoped it would one day.
Thankfully, other members had light injuries. Macao lamented this early on, joking about his lack of cool battle scars, but from his thrown position near Romeo, he got what he deserved.
Natsu…
Lucy looked at Natsu, taking in his features. Trying to erase the previous image of him as a flesh statue, unable to move nor breath. His breathing was stable, unnaturally stable. Natsu was a deep sleeper, but he was a fidgeter. He always had energy to spare, jumping against the walls at any opportunity. His sleep reflected that, a large reason why Lucy had a bigger bed in her apartment. Too many bruises from the floor.
Natsu.
Natsu was the most changed of all. Something had cracked in all members, she knew that for sure. After all, she feels it herself, the open wound that is Aquarious’s loss ripping her apart in any clear moment of calm. Thankfully, they weren’t a calm group, she could latch herself to any distraction from her pain, from her grief. Everyone was doing what they could to help each other, to pick each other up from another big, earth shaking moment, but something had changed.
Not only in Natsu, even though he was the most obvious.
Lucy felt herself grow colder, thoughtful as the days passed by. Every minute that passes from the battle, from the end, from the revelations that tear at the team's souls and test their friendship, she thinks back to where this all started.
Lucy was not one to be trapped. She realized that quickly when she first started hatching the crazy plan to leave the mansion. She wasn’t one to be told what to do, who to be. That’s all everyone did, tell her what to be.
She must be a Heartfilia.
That meant being a spirit summoner of the highest caliber, or to sacrifice that to be the perfect lady of the house, married and breedable.
It was either-or, before she even knew of her fathers plans.
Lucy has always been breaking, bits by bit.
First when her mother died, then when her father tried selling her off, then when he died, and the list continues.
She never regrets leaving the mansion, never regrets following Natsu, but she does think back and wonder if she was too naive. If she didn’t truly understand the world she was a part of, not in the way that her found family did.
She remembers back, all the way back, to the tower of heaven.
To Erza's face as she faces her greatest fear, as she looked at her own origins and what the world created, and screamed.
Lucy has always known that something changed in her, not here, not now, but back when she first said to herself, “this is my family, they accept all of me, they don’t want just one of me.”
Back when she rushed forward, screaming in agony, that she would become stronger. To protect them.
Then Aquarious died and she realized that she isn’t stronger yet.
Not truly.
Not fully.
Because she is still stuck.
She still is stuck in her first version. The naive girl. Lucy, the one who wanted to be part of Fairytail. Every battle strips more and more of this away, but she never really sat with it. Not even in front of her fathers grave.
She always compares herself to the others. To Erza, to Juvia, to Mira!
Constantly. Even she notices it.
She looks at her team and compares powers all the time. How she was always the one to be saved, how she never compared. The others tell her it’s foolishness. I mean, where would they be without her spirits. That’s the crux of it all, her spirits.
What about her?
Yeah, she summons them, but she knows, at the basic principle of being a spirit summoner, that she isn’t anything without her spirits. Without them, she is nothing compared to the well that is the fountain of energy of her teammates.
Erza, trained to the ends of the world with every type of weapon, she is the fountain of power.
Gray, who since birth, fountains the cold deep inside him that he doesn’t feel it anymore.
Juvia is water, quite literally.
Same with Natsu, Gajeel, even the cats! Sorry…Exceeds, but you get her point?
She fountains power so others could fight for her.
She couldn’t do a single thing to save Aquarius. The sacrifice she did was in the sacrifice of others.
Constantly she has to sacrifice others, her spirits. She has to muster the energy to summon someone else to save her, to fight for her. You can give her the multitude of lectures on how the power within her is the fountain that moves these summons forwards. That without her, there is no gate and her spirits would be as weak as her magic source. The fact that she could summon the spirit king himself, that Loki could rip the gate open all on his own, that any of her spirits could, is a test of her strength.
You can tell that to Lucy, and show her that this fight was different. That she saved them.
Faced with Aquarius' death though, with Natsu’s remembered pain, and with her family all suffering one way or another, those lectures don’t get to her.
Not even with the mortal injuries she aches with. Not even with the way the team all surrounded her like she is the light of their darkness, like her presence would soothe all the pain away.
She wants to become stronger, not in the way that makes her summon more, but in the way that she can stand beside the heavy hitters. That she never again has to stand back and watch someone fight for her.
Never again.
And as she clutches her keys tight to her chest, under the protective presence of her guild, Erza understands it all so well.
Erza, with one last brush to Wendy's hair, reaches her hand forward on top of Lucy’s desperate hands. Lucy looks to her eyes, meeting them in the darkness.
No words passed through them, but they both knew what the other would say.
“I’ll help you. We’ll make it through this, just like we always do.”
“Thank you. We’ll make it through this, if it's the last thing we do.”
Lucy, sucking in all of Erza’s support, falls asleep, slowly and calmly, with complete trust.
Erza, with one hand protectively over Lucy’s keys, her source, keenly runs her eyes over her team. With one last sigh, she also falls into sleep. In the back, Laxus’s lightning flashes a bit, his attention moving away from the pair and moving to the door where another person watches with care. He closes his eyes, assured once again of the guild's safety.
Master Makorov takes a deep breath, nods to Laxus, and leaves. Turning his back and heading out, with a determination in his step to make a different decision than he had before.
“Fire. I know fire Gray. It's all I’ve ever known. Fire kept me and my brother alive, fire feeds me, fuels me to my final breath, keeps me going for my family, keeps me powerful and unbeatable.
“Fire. Fire lets me protect.
“and it also killed me.”