Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Turtle luck. God, did Raph hate turtle luck. He hated it as much as he hated bugs. All it did was make life harder for his family. Whenever it felt like he and his brothers were going to have an easy day, turtle luck had to show its ugly mug and ruin everything.  

But if there was one thing he hated more than turtle luck, it was Karai, the ‘new’ Shredder.

He always disliked her from the start, but she now crossed a serious line by destroying his home and potentially killing Donnie, Mikey, and Splinter. That event caused his feelings to go from simply disliking her to wanting her dead in the ground. Or at least joining her war criminal dad on that ice asteroid.

And thanks to a deadly alliance between Karai and turtle luck, he was currently hiding in Coney Island, underneath the boardwalk, where no one would spot him. But staying quiet was becoming increasingly difficult, as the rage burning inside him was only growing by the minute.

It didn’t help that he was tired, hungry, and thirsty, which only added to his frustration.

“Damn, I could really kill for a beer right now.” Raph quietly said to himself, as he desperately needed a stress reliever.

Ever since Casey gave him a can of beer back at the farmhouse, Raph had used alcohol to calm his nerves. It did the job, but he made sure to keep himself in check and not have it turn into an addiction. Not to mention, he had to hide it from his family, which was quite a difficult task considering he and his family were all ninja.

As hard as he tried to keep it a secret, it was only a matter of time before someone caught him in the act. And that someone was his brainiac turtle twin Donnie. He remembered how scared he felt on the inside, thinking that Donnie was going to tell Leo and Splinter and then get grounded for a lifetime. But to his relief, Donnie agreed to keep his drinking a secret, but not without warning him about the various dangers of alcohol consumption.

That moment was one of many that cemented Donnie’s status as Raph’s favorite brother. And now, he was possibly dead, all thanks to Karai.

“Fucking bitch. When I get my hands on her, she’ll regret ever showing up in New York.” Raph muttered to himself.

Raph continued to hide in silence, thinking about his family, when he saw something in the distance. A small dog was looking at him.

“What are you looking at?” asked Raph.

The dog then walked towards the rage-filled turtle and sat down next to him.

Raph noticed that the dog had a collar on, which meant it wasn’t a stray, and someone was no doubt looking for it.

“Huh. Looks like I’m not the only one who’s separated from family,” said Raph.

The dog barked in response, and although Raph knew he shouldn’t get too attached to the dog (they already had Klunk as a pet, and adding a dog to that would lead to a world of problems), he figured it wouldn’t hurt to have some company.

“Well, at least you don’t have to worry about someone trying to kill you,” said Raph.

Raph’s stomach then growled loudly, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the dog whined and gave him the infamous puppy dog eyes. He knew firsthand how powerful those eyes could be, as Mikey exploited their use back when they were tots. And he knew no matter how hard you try to resist, the eyes will always win.

Loudly sighing, Raph said, “Alright. I’ll get us some food. Just stay here.”, before leaving.

Now on the boardwalk, he hid behind a porta-potty and did a quick scan of the area. Thankfully, it looked like a slow night, as there weren’t too many people walking around. It helped that a decent number of New Yorkers were probably on edge after recent events, so they likely just stayed home, which only made Raph’s task a whole lot easier.

“Okay, just gotta grab and go,” Raph said to himself.

He snuck around the area, successfully staying out of sight, when suddenly, without looking at the ground, he felt himself step on something. And whatever he stepped in made a squish-like sound that made him shiver in disgust.

“Oh God, PLEASE don’t be vomit,” Raph said before he hesitantly looked down, and to his relief, he didn’t step in someone’s vomit. He did step on a hot dog that was covered in mustard, which wasn’t exactly a great improvement.

“Great. Just fucking great,” said Raph.

He quickly found the nearest napkin dispenser, grabbed several napkins, and used them to wipe the mustard off his foot, much to his annoyance.    

“That dog better appreciate what I’m doing for him,” said Raph.

After dealing with the mustard problem, everything else went smoothly, as Raph nabbed a hot dog (one that wasn’t on the ground), some fries, and a soda for himself and a burger for the dog.

Once he was back underneath the boardwalk, he looked at the dog and said, “Here you go, bud”, before taking the burger, discarding the bread, and tossing the meat to the dog, as he knew that was the only thing the dog cared about. After that, he indulged in his own food, glad that he was actually going to have a meal tonight.

But while eating, thoughts of his family entered his mind again, particularly his older brother Leo, whom he hadn’t seen in months. Even after dealing with Leo’s horrendous attitude, he missed him terribly, as life just wasn’t the same without him. And after everything that happened earlier in the night, he needed him more than ever.

Chapter Text

Today was supposed to be a normal day. An uneventful day. But as Raph liked to say, turtle luck had a nasty habit of showing up at the worst time and ruining everything.

And sure enough, that’s exactly what happened.

In a mere few hours, Donnie went from watching Mikey build a house of cards to witnessing Karai and the Foot Clan invade and destroy the lair, which then led to him and Splinter nearly drowning in Shell Sub after the Foot fired torpedoes at them. An oxygen tank was the only reason they survived and swam up to the surface.

Now, they were taking shelter in an abandoned warehouse, hiding from the Foot and hoping against hope that Raph and Mikey were able to escape with their lives.

“Alright, all done,” Donnie said as he finished tending to his father’s injuries with some bandages.

“Thank you, my son. I would advise you tend to any injuries you may have suffered as well,” said Splinter.

“That won’t be necessary, Sensei,” said Donnie.

“Donatello,” Splinter warned, as he had a feeling his brilliant son was lying to him.

“Seriously, Sensei, I’m fine. I’m not hiding any injuries from you. Believe me, I would know if I were seriously hurt. And even if I was hurt, I’d still put your needs over my own,” said Donnie.

Despite something in his gut telling him that his son was hiding some type of injury, he chose to let the conversation die out, as the events of the last few hours had left him completely exhausted.

After about a minute or so of silence, Donnie started thinking about his conversation with Raph over his traumatic experience in that horrible future he was sent to. He remembered Raph telling him that he was going to have to tell the others about his experience eventually.    

“Sensei, I know now may not be the best time, but…there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about for a while. Something I’ve kept hidden from you. From everyone, really. The only person who knows about it is Raph, and I think it may be time to change that,” said Donnie.

“What would you like to tell me, my son?” replied Splinter, who was very much interested in what his son had to say.

“It’s…actually, you know what, now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn’t-” Donnie said, as he now had second thoughts about telling his father about his nightmarish experience.

“Donatello, it’s clear whatever it is you want to tell me is at the forefront of your mind. You can be open with me, my son. You can tell me anything and I will listen to you without judgment,” said Splinter.

Taking a deep breath, Donnie said, “Okay, it’s about the dimension Ultimate Drako sent me to a while back. You already know about what Leo, Raph, and Mikey went through in their own different dimensions. But I’ve never told you anything about mine, and for good reason.”

“And what would that reason be, my son?” asked Splinter.

“What I experienced was…a nightmare. An absolute nightmare. A world where my disappearance results in the worst scenario imaginable. A world where Shredder has fully taken over,” said Donnie.

“May I ask what became of our family in this world?” asked Splinter.

“So, when I first arrived, I knew something was off. The lair was abandoned. It looked like no one had lived there in years. And when I went outside, some Foot Police were ready to arrest me on the spot, but then someone came from the shadows and took them all out. That someone was Mikey. An alternate version of him. One who was aggressive, angry, bitter, and lost most of his left arm. It was like all the light that was in him was snuffed out,” said Donnie.

“Oh, Michelangelo,” Splinter said, horrified by such a fate for his joyful son.

“He was the one who explained to me what was going on. So, in that universe, I vanish without a trace. I was never given a reason as to why that version of me disappeared, but my absence caused everything to fall apart. You and the guys had a fight with Shredder and the Foot Clan, which resulted in Leo getting a horrible scar across his face, Raph losing his left eye, Mikey getting…his arm cut off, and you…you-” Donnie struggled to finish, as emotion and the awful memories were overwhelming him.

“Please, my son, take your time and breathe,” said Splinter.

Once he composed himself, Donnie continued with, “Mikey was going to get stabbed by the Shredder, but you got in the way to protect him and…Shredder’s blades went through your body, killing you in the process.”

Splinter looked at Donnie in shocked silence, as he never would’ve expected his children to go through such horror. It was worse than anything he could’ve imagined.

“After that, Shredder took over the world and enslaved humanity. Your death caused a falling out between Leo and Raph, and for about 30 years, our family was no more, at least until I showed up. While in that world, I also learned that Casey had died, and April was the leader of a resistance army, going up against Shredder’s rule. Thanks to her, she was able to set up a meeting between Leo and Raph, which led to me reuniting my alternate brothers with each other. And although I wasn’t their Donatello, it still felt satisfying to have the 4 of us working together as a unit. (Sigh) But it didn’t last long,” said Donnie.

“What happened next, my son?” asked Splinter.

“We were ready to make our last stand against the Shredder and the Foot. And after a long battle, I was able to vaporize and kill the Shredder with the use of the Tunneler. But the victory came at a grave cost. The lives of my brothers. Leo and Raph were killed by Karai, while Mikey was sliced up by Karai legions, robots made in the image of Karai. And there was nothing I could do to stop it,” said Donnie.

Hearing how Karai murdered his sons, Splinter was filled with rage, a rage he was quick to control, as he didn’t want to lash out at Donatello unintentionally. And after everything that happened recently, he completely understood Raphael’s hatred for the woman.

“If it makes you feel any better, Karai was taken out by a missile thanks to April,” said Donnie.

Splinter didn’t say anything to that, only nodding in response.

“And mere moments after the battle ended, I shifted through time, suddenly appeared with Raph and Mikey when Ultimate Drako was fighting you, Leo, and Usagi, and…the rest is history,” said Donnie.

Instead of responding immediately, Splinter took some time to process his son’s words.

But as he was processing, Donnie said, “You know, months after it happened, I still don’t know why Ultimate Drako would do this to me. I don’t know why he sent me to that horrible future. Maybe…maybe it was just random, maybe he had some strange grudge against me, or maybe it was all just some sick joke from the universe because it must’ve found the irony in putting someone like me into such a nightmarish reality.”, while breaking down and getting angrier with each passing word.

“I’ve tried desperately to move on and forget about my experience in that world, but I can’t, and all tonight did was trigger those memories again. And I just...I just-” Donnie stopped as Splinter hugged him tightly.

“Donatello, I am so sorry you had to witness and go through such horror. You did not deserve to be sent to such a horrific world. None of my children deserve that. As much as I wish I could go back and stop Ultimate Drako from putting you through such anguish, I can’t. But what I will say, my son, is that I am here for you and I will personally make sure a world like that will never come into existence,” said Splinter.   

“Thank you, Sensei,” said Donnie.

“You are most welcome, my son.” said Splinter, as the two continued to hide in the abandoned warehouse.

Chapter Text

A famous frog once said that it wasn’t easy being green. Well, little did that frog know that being a mean, green butt-kicking ninja turtle was even worse.

Such was the case for Mikey, who was now hiding in the corner of the subway with his cat Klunk, after Karai attacked the lair and forced his family to split up to escape the Foot Clan.

The orange bandana-wearing turtle was thankful that Foot decided not to be thorough when they blew up the Turtle Tunneler, as they only looked at it and automatically assumed he was dead. And he was even more thankful that he brought one of his comics and some cat food for Klunk. Even though he himself was hungry, it was more important that Klunk had a meal. After witnessing Klunk drown in the nightmarish reality that was cooked up by the Foot Mystics, he wasn’t going to let his cat suffer for a single second.

“Here you go, Klunk. This should keep your belly full for a while.” Mikey said after giving Klunk some cat food.

Right after feeding Klunk, his own stomach growled loudly, much to his dismay.

“I really should’ve packed some snacks in that Tunneler,” Mikey complained.

Now that he was hungry, he knew the best way to get food off his mind was to think about something else. Thinking about his family right now wouldn’t be a wise choice, as he was already worried that Karai and the Foot might have already gotten to them. So, the next best option he had was something he had constantly thought about for months and was very personal to him.

And that something happened to be his gender/identity.

For the longest time, he had maintained the belief that he didn’t want to be a girl and would forever be a guy, no matter how many dresses and skirts he wore. Even when he came out as gay to Raph, he still believed he was wholly masculine. But the more he thought about it, the quicker he realized he was in denial. He actually wouldn’t mind being a girl. He wouldn’t mind being either gender. It took some time, but he had now finally accepted himself for who he truly was, and just when he was confident enough to tell his family, Karai had to ruin everything.

Knowing that his only company at this point was Klunk, Mikey figured it wouldn’t hurt to express his thoughts out loud and have a conversation with his cat, even if it was 100% one-sided.

“Hey Klunk, you wouldn’t mind if I talked about some personal stuff with you, right?” asked Mikey.

“Meow,” said Klunk.

“Cool. Okay, so, you know how I told my family about how I like women’s clothing and how I was perfectly fine being a guy, and I didn’t want to be a girl?” asked Mikey.

“Meow,” replied Klunk.

“Well, I think I may have been lying to myself. Like, I still enjoy being a guy, but there’s also this part of me that wants to be a girl. Like, the first time I wore my orange miniskirt, it felt right. It didn’t feel weird at all, and it kind of made me feel pretty. And as much as I tried to convince myself that I could only be a guy, I now know that’s not who I am. I like being both masculine and feminine. I don’t want to choose one gender over the other permanently. I want to go back-and-forth between the two, you know?” said Mikey.

“Meow,” replied Klunk.

“Yeah, that’s what I want to be. It’s like how in a game, your character can have alternative costumes and you can freely pick which costume you want to wear. I can just pick and choose the days when I want to be a ‘he’ and the days when I want to be a ‘she’. It is annoying how humans can be super close-minded and come up with some pretty dumb rules when it comes to that type of stuff. Stuff like how girls can’t play video games and guys can’t like picking flowers. It’s so dumb,” said Mikey.

“Meow,” replied Klunk.

“I knew you’d agree. As cool as it would be to live topside and walk in broad daylight, I’m kind of glad we live underground in the sewers. We don’t have to deal with human rules and laws and stuff like that down here. And living the ninja lifestyle will never not be cool,” said Mikey.

“Meow,” replied Klunk.

Mikey sighed before saying, “And to think that I was going to tell Sensei and the guys about this today. I had a whole speech and everything,” said Mikey.

“Meow,” replied Klunk.

“Okay, maybe not a whole speech, but I was still ready to tell them. And I already know they were going to be cool with it since they were cool with me wearing my miniskirts. Man, I’m so glad I have a family that accepts me for me and doesn’t force me to be something I’m not. I’d hate to have the alternative,” said Mikey.

“Meow,” replied Klunk.

“Yeah, I’m worried about them too, but I’m not going to say they’re dead yet. We’ve been through so much already and it would royally suck if we were taken out because of Karai’s stupid revenge. I honestly don’t know what Leo saw in her, thinking she has honor and stuff. At this point, her heart’s about as black as her dad’s,” said Mikey.

“Meow,” replied Klunk.

“I miss Leo a lot. I get why he had to leave, but I really wish he were here right now. Whenever he comes back, I’m going to make sure that ‘Leo Appreciate week’ idea becomes a reality, and he gets treated like the awesome big bro he is. He’s earned it after everything that’s happened in the last two years,” said Mikey.

“Meow,” replied Klunk.

“Man, it feels good to say all this stuff out loud. It’s better than keeping it in all the time. And it helps I have such a great listener to keep me company.” Mikey said before petting Klunk.

Chapter Text

Leo had now spent months living in Japan with the Ancient One, and despite the emotionally difficult journey, his time with the Ancient One had improved his mental health substantially, and he no longer let what happened on Shredder’s ship plague his mind.

Since he was away from his family, he had grown more comfortable with letting out his unbridled thoughts about various topics, without fear of judgment or scolding from the Ancient One. But there was one topic he had yet to discuss, a topic that he was scared to talk about with anyone, especially his family.

And that topic was love. Specifically, how it felt to be in love with someone.

But that was going to change today.

While having breakfast, Leo decided at that very moment to take his chance.

“Ancient One?” asked Leo.

“Yes, Leonardo?” replied Ancient One.

“There’s something I would like to discuss with you. It’s something my family doesn’t know about,” said Leo.

“Is it similar to what you told me about Dr. Abigail Finn and how you had to kill her to protect your family?” asked Ancient One.

“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s more…personal. It’s about my feelings towards a certain individual. And before I go any further, I need you to promise me that you won’t be judgmental and you won’t tell my family,” said Leo.

“I promise, Leonardo. You can tell me anything you want, kumquat. Now, please, proceed,” said Ancient One.

After taking a deep breath, Leo said, “Okay, so I have this friend. His name is Miyamoto Usagi, and he’s a rabbit samurai from a different dimension, a dimension based on feudal Japan.”

“Alright, how do you two meet?” asked Ancient One.

Leo then explained how he and Usagi first met at the Battle Nexus Tournament and became fast friends thanks to them having similar personalities and a love for swords, to the point that they gave each other swords for Christmas. It was when he spent more time with the samurai rabbit in his home dimension, he officially saw Usagi as his best friend. He also noted that even though it seemed ‘turtle luck’ liked to throw obstacles in front of them, like how he got poisoned in the Tournament, it didn’t do anything to damage their friendship.  

Turns out that the only thing that could damage their friendship was Leo himself.

“Sensei invited Usagi over so he could help me with my attitude shift after what happened on Shredder’s ship. He tried to get me to open up to him, and all I did was treat him terribly. I was cold towards him, I deflected any helpful advice he gave me, and I even yelled at him at points. I was a horrible friend that day, and I want nothing more than to go to his world and give him an overdue apology. I just hope he doesn’t see me in a negative light after what happened,” said Leo.

“Leonardo, Usagi is your best friend, right?” asked Ancient One.

“Right,” said Leo.

“And you two have been through thick and thin, right?” asked Ancient One.

“You could say that,” said Leo.

“And you two trust and understand each other well, correct?” asked Ancient One.

“I believe so,” said Leo.

“Then you should have nothing to worry about. Usagi won’t hate you for how you acted back then. He understood you were in a dark place at the time. He’ll forgive you easily. If he were to abandon you in your time of need, he would be the bad friend, not you,” said Ancient One.

“I hope you’re right,” said Leo.

“I know I’m right. Now, you said you have feelings for this Usagi. Can you explain what those feelings are?” asked Ancient One.

“Well, it’s a mix of nervousness and excitement anytime we’re together. Whenever I’m near him, I can feel my heart beating faster than it normally would, and I feel this sense of…internal joy whenever we get to talk. We can talk about the most mundane topics imaginable, and no matter what, the feeling never goes away. I know it may not be normal for-” said Leo.

“Nonsense, kumquat. It does not matter if others see it as normal or not. The important question is, do YOU see it as normal?” asked Ancient One.

“It feels normal. It might not be normal in other people’s eyes, but it is to me,” said Leo.

“Okay, now, how do you personally see Usagi? Do you only see him as a friend, or do you see him as something more?” asked Ancient One.

Leo took his time before saying, “Something more.”, as his voice became shaky.

“Hmmm. So, it seems your feelings for this rabbit go beyond the bounds of friendship, correct?” asked Ancient One.

Leo didn’t immediately answer, but judging by the tears starting to form in the turtle’s eyes and how much he was shaking, the Ancient One knew he was correct.

Leonardo was in love with Usagi.

Comforting Leo, the Ancient One said, “It’s okay, Leonardo. Love is a beautiful thing. It’s good you’ve found someone you care deeply for.”

“I know, but there’s this voice that’s telling me that what I’m feeling is wrong. That it’s shameful,” said Leo.

“Leonardo, you falling in love with another male is not shameful. Love is more complex than most people believe. Anyone who believes love can only be shared between a man and a woman is stupid and close-minded. Don’t let anyone like that make you feel ashamed for having feelings, kumquat. They are not worth your time,” said Ancient One.

Leo then proceeded to give the Ancient One a hug, saying, “Thank you, Ancient One.”

“You are most welcome, Leonardo. Now, does Usagi know about these feelings you have towards him?” asked Ancient One.

“No. He has no idea. At least, I think he doesn’t,” said Leo.

“Hmmm. Do you think telling him about your feelings will negatively affect your relationship with him?” asked Ancient One.

“I hope not. Knowing him, I don’t believe our friendship would disintegrate if I were to tell him. If he wants us to be more than friends, then that would be great,” said Leo.

“But what if he wants to simply remain friends with you?” asked Ancient One.

“Then I will accept his choice and be content with it. Just because I like him a certain way, it doesn’t mean he feels the same way. I can’t force him to feel a certain way towards me; to do so would be selfish and wrong. All I know is that whatever happens, we’ll still be in each other’s lives, and honestly, that's the least I can ask for,” said Leo.

“Good. I’m glad you understand, Leonardo, and I’m glad we had this talk,” said Ancient One.

“I’m glad too. It feels good to openly talk about this type of stuff with someone. It feels…freeing. Thank you once again, Ancient One.” Leo said before bowing.

“You are most welcome, Leonardo,” said Ancient One.