Chapter Text
Undeniably, there were times far more threatening than this- his life was put at risk several times before, but the fear that engulfed him wasn't even close to what he's feeling right now.
Ali had not a single idea of what might cause him to keep standing, because minutes has passed since he first arrived, standing before this horrifically tall door. The ongoing passersby glanced at him weirdly, or maybe that was his own, weird assumption.
He swallowed, clenching his fist as he started to feel dizzy. How weird. Painful as it was, but the pain wasn't inflicted by anyone else. How can he run from himself if he's the one stabbing?
It was stupid. He thought of this so throughly, yet the consequences of his actions immediately came knocking at his door, ready to slap another harsh truth.
Ali felt himself dissociating, and another minute pass by.
This nagging feeling constantly roped around him, slithering it daggers across his body and pierced itself into his heart. Burdens of weights left him heavily devastated, broken apart.
So he desperately tries, swimming his way to the top. He seeks, reaching out his hand to the surface of the black sea that drowned him endlessly. He seeks, for someone: for a help.
And who else understand him, in this situation, if not her?
Finally, with a baited breath, he rest his hand on the surface of the door, slightly flinching at the cold sting before he slides it open.
Inside, a particular neuro agent releases two ammo from her blastique slingshot, hitting directly onto her target, causing drones and robots to fell and disrupting the empty floor. Her movement's quick and agile, every step she took was made with precision and accurate thinking.
Unlike the poor boy, who is immediately contemplating his decision.
While Alicia ran like she was chased, aimed like she was hunting, and hit like she mean it.
Scary.
He decided that his issues could wait for another day.
Slowly he inched backwards, his eyes sharp and still on her back. Thinking she's ignoring his presence, Ali took a large step to bolt out from the training room, and this incident will never happen-
Bang!
A sharp metal ball was directed precisely over his left ear, just above his skin, causing his hairs to stand on end.
"What do you want?"
Alicia called, and even without looking, he was absolutely sure she's giving him the usual sassy look with her hand over her hips, ready to shoot back at whatever he says.
He quickly turn and face her- 'Exactly the same!' Ali was not surprised.
"Nothing, I got in the wrong room," Ali says, a little too fast, but not enough to raise suspicion, in his opinion. He did try to excuse himself but Alicia manages to pull him back from leaving.
"Seriously? Tekno lab is on the opposite wing, there's no way you'd make that big of a mistake." She snarked, mockingly, with her brows raised as if she dares the boy to reply.
One thing Ali admires about the neuro agent is her ability of quick thinking and how she's unafraid to vocalize her opinion.
Of course this perception of her quickly changes after it backfires against him.
"I just took the longer route! You know, to put in extra steps?" This moment then proceeds to flash randomly in his life, earning annoyed groans as he cringes.
"Yeah right. So, what is it that you need to tell me?"
A direct hit!
Crap. He's not getting away from it now, not if Alicia catch on and got a hold of him and his intentions. She must been more accustomed to his behaviour as he did to hers, because if anything, the hell they've been through and back only make the bond between them stronger.
So he just have to play his own cards correctly, dominate the game and he'll finally escape-
Who was he kidding.
The moment he stepped into the room, all of his luck- even if he have them- immediately run out, drained. This wasn't something new, but often he wished luck was on his side, if not anyone else.
If he had not realised he was being watched- by none other than Alicia, who's gaze pierced right through him- Ali would've separated from the world by then.
His throat suddenly went dry, all of the lies he prepared- not that he can anyways, she'll be able to catch on immediately- had left his body completely.
Now, speaking the truth is a choice. One that would cost him a lot, with a value of whatever dignity is left in him.
But will she listen? Lend a shoulder for him to lean on? Will she think him as a much more weaker person?
Is it even okay for him to do this? Are they close enough for him to express his kept feelings? Will she turn away if he did? Leave him to his misery without anyone at all to depend on?
He can't bare the thought of losing her, not when he lost so much already. Not when he had trusted and got betrayed for countless amount of times.
Trust, a strange concept of relying everything to another person. Something Ali had cling onto so desperately, even when he's hanging on the edge of the cliff. And the person above never bothered to pull him back up. And Ali knew they won't, not for him.
Eventually he fell. Deeper and deeper- trusting got him no where.
But he cares for Alicia enough to trust her blindly. As long as he kept quiet and follow, and eat the dirt thrown his way, she'd surely not betray his trust.
She won't outcast him, won't look at him differently if she doesn't know how it felt. How it killed him silently.
Just play his part. Perform moderately. Nobody noticed it before, how will they now?
Funny. How difficult it was for him to build the courage to speak up, to tell, just for him to run away and hide at the end.
Alicia watched him like a hawk. Watch how his eyes blinked or how his fingers ticked- reading his corresponding responces and mentally taking notes of them. He's agitated, nervous.
Why?
She deduced he was waiting outside for a while before entering, with how collected he looked; as if he's preparing himself for battle.
Ali might be a coward, but he's not afraid to talk or pick fights with her (unlike the others), something that is proved by their daily encounters- something she found herself looking forward to.
Therefore this new fear of his is.. worrying, to say the least. Had he done something wrong and is looking for her help? Has he something up his sleeve to trick her? Surely he know better than that, but then again he's Ali. When it comes to him, all probabilities she calculated goes directly into the dump. She could not predict his next step, and often did she found him as a problematic anomaly.
But sometimes, he manages to impress her. Not always- so there's no need to press on that further.
"So, what is it that you need to tell me?"
She continued to watch, observing him subtly. His eyes shifted, avoiding. His fingers curled, picking at his suit. His breathing stopped, and hers did too for a while.
Ali surprised her again with a new reaction, one she doesn't understand.
Panic. Fear.
Is what he emitted, and she was a little intimidated.
Softly she called his name, hesitating.
He didn't respond, her voice was muffled by his own thoughts.
'What exactly are you hiding?'
Cautious of his state, she calculated. Finding a solution- a way to bring him back. Alicia is not a person known for empathy nor her way of handling emotionally stacked situation, but logic had never disappointed her, not yet.
His eyes tense, his fingers shaking, the colour drained from his face. When he finally moved, his legs lose their balance, but luckily Alicia caught him by the arm.
Her eyebrows furrowed as her worry lingers. Her hands still, supporting his weight and when their eyes met, she knew there were alot to uncover and he knew he's not escaping her soon.
The two young agents stood in the same position for a while, with Ali frozen at the tight grip she had on him. He didn't dare to move, afraid that if he did, a bomb would set off, or something. His eyes hesitantly met her focused ones, and he's afraid that if he stare at it any longer, she'd able to read him like a book.
Alicia, noticing his slight discomfort, loosen her hold, but still kept a sharp eye on him, as if he's going to slip again at any time. As if he'd fall without her realizing it, and once he does it will all be too late.
A beat passed, and the tekno agent started to feel a little flustered under her quiet stare. He did felt like he can breathe again after losing himself earlier, but if Alicia doesn't budge then he just might faint.
"..Can.. can you let me go..?"
"Oh."
She replied meekly, and hesitantly released her hold on him. He sighed, a little too loudly, glad she wasn't following it up with a punch to his face.
"Sit."
"What?"
"You're clumsy. If you fall, I won't be able to catch you again."
"So, sit."
That sounded more like a threat than a command, so he obliged, shamefully.
Surprisingly she sat as well.
Besides him. At the same level as him.
And he felt a little included for once in his life. Like he mattered.
Ali shifted a bit to the other side, staring at the broken robots and drones on the ground, bruised and battered by the girl next to him.
But for once she seemed relaxed, with no furrowing of her brows that she tends to do, even when she doesn't realize it. With no sharp murmur under her breath at every single mistakes that he does, which often cause him to itch with guilt. With no fear of her life slipping through her fingers when she's facing her enemies, and he's not around to save her.
It's just her. Just Alicia.
The neuro agent subtly changes her focus back to the boy besides her. He's more relaxed. His eyes still and his fingers rest peacefully above his legs. He breathed and exhaled, with normal stability. With no frown on his face that he never bothered to hide when he's upset. With no hesitancy in his voice when he's unsure of himself, and the choices he's forced to make. With no pain in his eyes that had often uncovered many lies bestowed upon him.
It's him. The real Ali, who's losing pieces of himself everyday. Who, despite eveything, is a kid, forced to grow and mature against the world. Who, she hoped was still in there, behind the warrior.
"Stop staring at me." Ali cried, flustered. Now with his knees brought to his chest, and his head burried in embarrassment. He's not used to it, especially not from Alicia. Whether she was killing him with her eyes- literally or metaphorically, he still found himself a little embarassed.
"Who's to say I was?" Alicia lied. His skill had sharpened, catching onto her quickly.
"You're literally still doing it!"
"So?!"
Eyes were rolled, insults were thrown. Ali shifted to face her, his hands gestured wildly in the air as he mocked the way she speaks. Her eye twitches before she retorted back with an insult to his height.
Neither of them meant it, of course. This was a familiar banter, one that they pass between them from time to time.
An inside joke during missions, while Komeng got his ass handed to him, or while they train and Ali jokes to release the tension. He lost, but Alicia did manage to smile, so it's a win in his book.
A reminder, that how strong they grow, how distant they drifted apart, their friendship is the same, no matter how much time has passed.