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Chapter Text

Carroll was born in 1878 in Killarney, Ireland. The first born child of Edward and Bridget McMurray. Carroll’s father Edward was a drunk and violent no nonsense farmer. He would often abuse and hit both Carroll, and Bridget. Due to his father’s common outbursts to the smallest of things, such as crying or laughing, Carroll learned from a young age to hide his emotions. As soon as Carroll could walk and talk his father put him to work on their family farm. Forcing Carroll to work for hours on end with no break. His mother, though upset about this decided to ignore this. The rare times she did standup for Carroll, Edward would make sure she never did it again. He would abuse her and rough her up. Saying that he can raise his son however he wants. This resulted in Bridget being distant with Carroll and turning a blind eye to the abuse.

One thing that brought Carroll joy was hunting with his father. He and his father would go hunting in the nearby forest. Hunting with his father was one of the only good memories he had with his father. This resulted in Carroll’s fascination with guns. He learned quickly how to shoot and quickly reload his father’s shotgun. Whenever he had free time, he would spend it taking apart the shotgun and cleaning and putting it back together.

As Carroll got older, he got used to his father’s common outbursts, but this would soon change when his two little sisters were born. Carroll was very protective of his two younger sisters and always protected them from his father’s wrath. This usually meant if Edward was angry at Kathleen and Eileen, Carroll would make him even angrier so that Edward would take out his frustration out on him instead.

One faithful night, when Carroll was out selling the farms produce, Edward got wasted and started to yell at Kathleen and Eileen, for something they did. Bridget tried to protect them but she was hit and beaten by Edward. Carroll heard this commotion and rushed to the house. Where he grabbed his father hunting shotgun and rushed into the house. Right before Edward was about to hit Kathleen and Eileen, Carroll fired a warning shot into the floor. Carroll tried reasoning with his father, trying to get him to calm down but that proved ineffective. Edward was about to punch Kathleen so Carroll fired a shot into his father’s side. Killing him. Carroll was shocked about what he had done, freezing for a second, before dropping the gun onto the floor. He rushed to his sisters and mother to check if they were ok.

With Edward gone, Carroll was forced to take up the mantle as the main breadwinner of the family. Carroll worked himself to exhaustion. Trying to balance farm work with house work. While also taking care of his sisters and mother. With Carroll working himself ragged, he often forgot many things. Be it, locking the barn at night and watering some of the crops, or fixing the problems around the house. One night when Carroll left for the city to sell produce, he forgot to extinguish the fireplace. Carroll was meaning to fix the holes in the fire place but never got the time to. While his mother and sisters were asleep the house caught ablaze. The townsfolk of Killarney, saw and smelt the smoke so they rushed to put it out. When Carroll heard the news about his house on fire, he rushed home, but both the townsfolk and Carroll were too late. Bridget, Kathleen, and Eileen died in the fire.

With Carroll’s family gone and his house destroyed, Carroll decided there was nothing left for him in Killarney, so he sold his families land and immigrated to the United States of America.

When he first moved the United States, New York to be exact, he bought himself a small apartment, and picked up a job in construction. In a workplace accident, Carroll fell off a support beam, and hit the ground hard. Carroll was severely injured, and since nobody on site had any medical knowledge, they had no idea what to do. Luckily a woman was there to care of him and give him the proper treatment, so he would stay alive long enough to get to a hospital.

When he awoke, he learned that the woman that saved him was Jeannine Walsh (that’s my custom last name for her before she got married.) He felt he ought to repay her kindness and tracked down where to she lived. And invited her out to dinner, as a thank you for saving his life. She at first dismissed his offering, and slammed the door on him. But with some encouragement from her sister Sophie, she accepted Carroll’s invitation.

For the longest time Nina had realized that she would need to get married soon. Her Irish Catholic beliefs had encouraged her to get married and have kids as soon as she came of age. But Nina never had time to lookout for suitors, when her sister would constantly get sick. Sophie had a very weak immune system, which made it very easy for her to get sick, so Nina would often have to take care of her sister.

So when the opportunity to possibly get a future husband and have a family arrived, with a little encouragement from her sister Nina took the chance. Once the dinner was done and Carroll had walked Nina home she told Carroll that they were officially dating and their relationship progressed after that. With increasing pressure from Nina’s family to get married, Nina rushed her and Carroll’s relationship straight into marriage. Sophie could tell that Nina wasn’t exactly happy in her marriage with Carroll but Sophie didn’t say anything, not wanting to start a possible argument.

With Carroll and Nina married and moving into their first house, Against Nina’s best wishes, Sophie decided it was time she spread her wings and find a new place to live. Sophie soon moved to St. Louis Missouri, and picked up a stable job and apartment. It was there where Sophie met Ransom Rickaby. It was also there where after a short 2 years Sophie and Ransom married.

During this time in New York, Carroll and Nina were getting used to the married life. Ever since the dinner date Carroll had fallen head over heels in love with Nina, but Nina didn’t feel the same way. Carroll though shocked at how quickly he and Nina got married didn’t mind it. He had loved Nina with all his heart. Nina on the other hand didn’t love Carroll as much as he did. She felt required to marry Carroll due to her beliefs. She saw Carroll as a lost sheep and she was his Shepard. She didn’t think that Carroll would ever find love anywhere so she took it upon herself to marry him. She saw Carroll more as a close friend rather than a husband. But she did mean well, and took care of Carroll, making dinner, doing the dishes, and cleaning, all the things a wife at that time was expected to do.

Nina had also started to notice some of Carroll’s eccentricities. Carroll showed no negative emotions. He could be insulted or embarrassed, and he would always keep a happy face, as if nothing happened. Nina was at first creeped out by this, but looked on the bright side, this meant Carroll wouldn’t be an abusive husband. Carroll also had a fascination with guns. Nina wasn’t a big fan of this, thinking that guns were unnecessary, and that a god loving person should never take the life of another living person. But just like all the other things she got used to it. Allowing Carroll to read books about guns, and even allowed him to purchase a shotgun, just for protection.

But Nina and Carroll’s lives would flip upside down, when Nina first heard that Sophie had gotten married to a guy she just met. She couldn’t help but express her sister’s stupidity to her husband Carroll. This news worried Nina so much that she and Carroll had packed up their belongings and moved to Missouri, where they bought a house in St. Charles.

Carroll didn’t see why they had to move, he saw Sophie as a strong willed and smart person, and that she was smart enough to not marry just anyone. But he made sure to not to talk but to listen to his wife complain. He wasn’t one to argue, especially with his wife. Carroll wasn’t one to start an argument let alone partake in one. If he was forced into an argument he would either try his best to defuse the situation or just submit to the person who was aggravated with him. Many including Sophie and Nina saw Carroll as a pushover, one to bend to the other person’s will. But if something made him mad enough he would make sure to end the argument on his terms.

When Carroll first met Ransom Rickaby, he knew they wouldn’t get along well. Ransom was a free spirit, extremely extroverted wild card. Which clashed with Carroll’s reserved, and introverted personality. It didn’t help that Nina didn’t like Ransom either. And she was against the fact that Ransom and Sophie were married. The main reason Nina didn’t like Ransom was the fact that he would be gone half the time. And that meant no one would take care of her sister.

Ransom was always between jobs, he would be gone for long periods of time sometimes bordering weeks. This meant he never had time to fix stuff around the house, things that a husband would usually do during that time. And since Sophie had no experience in fixing things she always called Carroll to come fix things. She would call Carroll and he would come to her house and do what needed to be done, whether fixing the plumbing, fixing the electrical, and patching holes in the ceiling.

Sophie and Ransom would often get into arguments about this, Ransom didn’t want another man in his house alone with his wife, but Sophie always said that if Ransom was at home, Carroll wouldn’t need to be in his house. With these constant arguments Sophie started to think she made a mistake marrying Ransom, and that she’d be better off with a man like Carroll. But she still had love in her heart for Ransom. As time went on Ransom and Sophie started to work out their relationship and soon they had their son Roark (Rocky).

When Roark was born Nina couldn’t belief Sophie would have a kid with someone like Ransom. She didn’t hate Roark but she wasn’t all that accepting of him. Carroll on the other hand was ecstatic that he was an uncle. Carroll would use his whittling skills to create toys for Roark, which Ransom didn’t take too kindly to. The few moments Carroll would be with Roark he couldn’t help but want a kid of his own.

With the birth of Sophie’s son, Nina couldn’t help but think it was time she and Carroll had a kid of their own. The process was awkward, especially for Nina, given she didn’t love Carroll the way he loved her, but they made it work. After a couple tries, and 9 months later, Carroll and Nina’s son was born Calvin (Freckle). But that was soon disrupted by Sophie getting gravely sick. Sophie had contracted the red death, and didn’t have much time to live. Coupled with Ransom leaving to work on the railroad.

Sophie soon got even worse. Nina consoled Sophie about her illness and Ransom leaving. She sent Carroll to go talk some sense into the man.

Carroll reasoned with Ransom, saying how he is leaving his wife to die and abandoning his kid. Ransom wouldn’t listen. He explained how he noticed how Sophie looked at Carroll and how she hadn’t look at him like that in a while. He insulted Carroll saying that he was Nina’s lap dog and had become a weak husband, scared to stand up for himself. Ransom also insinuated, that Carroll and Sophie had been having an affair when he was away. Carroll was completely baffled by what Ransom was saying. Carroll was about the give up on the reasoning with him, when Ransom insulted Nina and Calvin. Carroll saw red, punched Ransom and yelled at him saying how Ransom can insult him all he wants, but to never insult his family. When Carroll had finally called down, he had realized what he had done. He saw himself no different than his father Edward. He apologized profusely and offered to help Ransom up, but Ransom responded with a punch. He grabbed Carroll by the collar of his shirt and told him to get out. So Carroll, Nina, and Calvin all left the Rickaby residence.

Once Sophie Rickaby passed away and Roark was sent to live with his aunt and uncle, Carroll made sure that Roark felt at home. He treated Roark no different than his son Calvin. And saw Roark as his second son. In order to support a new family member, Carroll had to start working more carpentry jobs. Working more hours. But he always found time to work around the house and play and teach his boys how to do stuff. Like how to mow the lawn. He also taught the boys how to hunt, like how his father taught him. He showed Roark and Calvin how to shoot and reload quickly and accurately.

Things were going well for Carroll and his family. But when 1917 rolled around and America joined the Great War (World War 1) Carroll was drafted into the war. He completed boot camp and was sent off to France. He served in the trenches for a while. Being an excellent shooter, and runner. But he was soon reassigned to a different regiment. Because of him losing control and accidentally non fatally shooting one of his fellow soldiers.

The commander saw potential in Carroll and given Carroll’s skills in shooting and marksmanship, he was reassigned as a machine gunner for a group that was responsible for tracking German troops and documenting where the Germans might go. He got along well with this group, but he soon realized that when operating a machine gun he went feral and he felt all his bottled up rage race out. And the groups leader used this to their advantage. They used this feral side of Carroll to dispatch and scare any German troops they came across. But the constant use of Carroll’ feral side took a toll on his mental health. He would sometimes keep shooting even when there was no Germans left to shoot. The final straw was when he almost killed one of his teammates, one he considered his best friend. Luckily they were able to stop him, and they promised they wouldn’t force him to go feral anymore.

One fateful day Carroll and his group set up camp in order to protect a school full of children from oncoming German attack. On the verge of being discovered the German troops retreated. Since Carroll was the fastest and stealthiest of the group he was sent out to figure out what they were doing. When Carroll was sent out he realized the Germans knew they were in the school and planned to bomb it. Carroll rushed back as fast as he could to warn them, but he was too late.

The school was in ruins, both his group and the children were dead. Carroll let out a soul shaking scream, which was made up of all the bottled up sadness and pain he was holding in. When the German troops came to check out the school to make sure they killed everyone. Carroll hid out. He waited till night to enact his revenge. He slaughtered every German soldier that he found responsible for his friends and children’s deaths. The last German he killed was a guy running away from him. And since Carroll had run out of ammo, he had to chase him on foot. Due to Carroll’s speed and agility he soon caught up to the guy. He tackled him to the ground and started landing punches onto the guys face. Once Carroll’s knuckles started to bleed, he took off his helmet and started to slam it into the guys face. It took about 7 minutes for Carroll to stop, he was growling and laughing as he did that.

Once the guy was dead Carroll stood up and let out the most crazed laugh, a mix of anger, pain and happiness. Once Carroll had calmed down he finally realized what he had done. He slaughtered so many people. He was so in shock in what he had done he couldn’t do anything except sit and think. He sat and thought for hours on end. Until his thought process was interrupted by an American soldier tapping his shoulder. A platoon of soldiers was crossing through and he was soon picked up. He was then brought back to the trench he fought in before. This time he didn’t recognize a single soldier there. He was sent back out into duty.

Carrol met a young soldier named Marley, he was 16 years old and faked his age so he could fight in the war. Upon their first dispatch Carroll helped Marley to get through the war. He helped calm Marley down and helped him be brave. Carroll couldn’t help but see Marley as Roark.

One day when the battle was at its brutalist, a mortar landed and exploded right next to Carroll and Marley, Carroll was unscathed but Marley had his legs blown off. Carroll promised that he wouldn’t leave Marley behind. Carroll rushed back to the trench and grabbed medical supplies since there were no medics around to help Marley. When Carroll was a few feet from Marley another mortar landed this time right on top of Marley. Marley’s body exploded into a bunch of red debris. Carroll watched on as a young man he saw as a son was killed right in front of him. Carroll stood there frozen in shock when multiple bullets hit his right leg.

Due to the pain Carroll blacked out. He awoke this time in a medical room of the trench. He was handcuffed to the bed. When a soldier finally realized Carroll was awake he came over cautiously and uncuffed him. He was then brought to the sergeant, where it was revealed that when he was picked up by medics, he was fighting screaming, and scratching the medics. So they had to sedate him and cuff him to the bed. And due to his history with uncontrollable violence and his current injury he was being honorably discharged. And he was being sent home.

When Nina answered the door she nearly fainted. She saw Carroll in his military uniform alive. She had heard about how gruesome the war had become and soon came to terms that she might never see her husband alive again. But she still prayed every night that Carroll would come home safe. And her prayers were answered. She hugged Carroll as tight as she could. Calvin and Roark soon came running and also hugged Carroll, welcoming him back. To say life returned to normal would be a lie. Carroll was plagued by constant nightmares and flashbacks of the war. Seeing the charred bodies of the children he failed to protect, and reliving the scene of Marley dying. But he chose to keep it to himself, he didn’t want to burden his wife with his troubles, and she had been through enough trying to take care of both the house and the two boys.

Nina could sense something was wrong with Carroll the day he returned home. He was a lot more quiet and reserved than he was before. His face wasn’t his usual friendly eyes and straight face. When he would make eye contact with her his eyes seemed as if they were looking through her rather than at her. But she chose to keep it to herself. God knows what horrors he experienced over in France. The boys were naturally curious about what the war was like, Roark especially. He would bombard Carroll with questions, and Carroll answered vaguely. But when Roark said he wished he was over there so he could help out, Carroll snapped. Carroll was holding back his anger at Roark, and said with a calm but threatening tone that he should never say that again, he should never experience what happened over there. Roark stopped asking questions after that. Calvin was a lot more shy about the questions he asked his father.

As time went on Carroll experienced the same nightmares over and over again. He would sometimes wake up and see the black silhouettes of his friends, Marley, his father, his mother his sisters, the school children and the many Germans he killed all standing at the foot of his and Nina’s bed. Sometimes in order to avoid them he would just stay up all night reading or whittling in the shed. He found that whittling helped calm himself down. And it distracted him from his memories. But that all changed one night during a rather violent tropical storm, Carroll dreamt he was back in the ruined city where his friends and the school children died. He was being chased by the black silhouettes that had haunted him since he came back from war. He would turn corners and would be forced to run back since the silhouettes always managed to teleport in-front of him.

Just as he was corned by the silhouettes he woke up to the sounds of thunder and the howling of winds. When he turned on his bedside lamp he was frozen in terror. At the foot of his and Nina’s bed he saw every single silhouette that had been chasing him. He slowing got out of bed and ran down stairs as fast as he could. He ran out the back door and into the shed. The shed was his safe space where he could always calm down after a violent nightmare. He locked the door and sat up against the wall. The strong winds of the storm made it seem like the black silhouettes were banging on the shed door. So Carroll in his terrified state believed they were banging at the door. He closed his eyes tightly and he tried to talk himself down but nothing worked. He begged them to go away, and that he was sorry for what he did to them.

Soon the winds calmed down and so he thought the banging stopped. He opened his eyes and saw all of them crowded in the shed with him. He was terrified, he thought that maybe they would go away if he died, so he cautiously grabbed the shotgun he kept in the shed and coked the gun back and put it into his mouth. And asked the lord to forgive him. He pulled the trigger.

Nina woke up to make breakfast for everybody but was confused as to why Carroll was missing from the bed. She quickly assumed he had another nightmare and locked himself inside the shed to calm down again. So she paid no mind to it. She made breakfast for Calvin and Roark and went outside to go get Carroll. She knocked on the door saying breakfast was ready and that he needed to get it while it’s hot. She soon gave up on that endeavor and let Carroll be. A hour and a half later she banged on the Shed door demanding Carroll to come out. She tried the door knob but it was locked. She then called Roark over to pick the lock. A skill his father Ransom taught him. When she and Roark opened the door they were horrified.

There sat Carroll still in his pajamas and huddled against the wall, dead. Nina let out an ear piercing scream and Roark stood there speechless. Which never happened before. She quickly closed the door and demanded the Roark to not tell Calvin what had happened to his father. She rushed inside and called the police. When the police took Carroll’s body away, Calvin embraced his mother and sobbed into her. She did her best to console the boy. She told Calvin that Carroll had died of a heart attack. Since she wanted Calvin to think of his father as a happy man rather than a person that committed a great sin.

She had talked to Roark that if he knew what was best for him and Calvin that he wouldn’t tell Calvin how his father really died. Roark for the longest time kept this a secret, but soon Calvin started to realize that his father didn’t die of a heart attack. Calvin kept asking Roark what had happened to his father but Roark always avoided the question or refused to answer. But when Calvin confronted Roark and demanded politely that he tell him what really happened to his father. Roark caved.

When Nina had found out that Roark had told Calvin what really happened she was livid. She had enough on her mind at that moment, with the main bread winner of the family gone she had to try and maintain a stable income, to pay for schooling, groceries, and the utilities. So she came up with the decision that Roark could fend for himself. She kicked him out of their home and sent him to live with his father’s brother. She convinced herself that this was for the better, and that Calvin would be better off without Roark. So Roark left and it was just Calvin and Nina.

Chapter Text

“Mummy! Daddy!” A young but frightened voice yelled from far away. This sudden and faint but loud voice woke Carroll up from his deep sleep. Carroll sat up in his and his wife Nina’s bed. He looked around the room, he grabbed the clock from his nightstand and checked the time. 5:00am. Still half asleep as he yawned. He was trying to figure out where that sound came from. He then heard it again. “Mummy! Daddy!” The young voice cried out again. This time Carroll hearing a sense of fear and worry in the young person’s tone. Carroll then realized who was yelling for them. It was their 4 year old son Calvin. Carroll shifted his legs so that they now touched the cold hard wood floors. Carroll got up and walked to the door. Just as he was about to turn the door knob he heard the bed creak and shift. He then heard another voice. This time it was Nina’s. “What are you doing up? What’s wrong? Who’s yelling?” His wife asked staring at him with sleepy eyes. “Calvin’s calling us. He sounds scared.” Carroll responded. Nina sighed and started to take her covers off. “I’ll go deal with him.” Nina said sounding slightly annoyed. As she was about to take the last cover off, Carroll grabbed it and started to tuck Nina back into bed. “I’ll go deal with him dear. Besides I should be getting ready for work in an hour or so. So please lay back down.” Carroll said in a caring and soft tone. “Fine.” Nina said with a slight hint of frustration in her tone.

Carroll then turned back towards the door, and walked into the cold hallway. The floor boards creaked as he walked to his son’s room in the pitch black hallway. The only illumination being from the faint sun light peaking in from the bath room window. When he made it to his son’s door, he knocked, and asked. “Are you alright in there?” He didn’t hear a response so he turned the door knob and entered his son’s room. There he saw his son covered with his blanket and huddled in a ball crying. Carroll turned his attention to the dresser and flicked on the lamp. He then made his way towards his crying son. Carroll bent down to Calvin’s level and asked him a question, in a somewhat worried tone. “What’s wrong lad? Are you hurt? Are you ok?” Calvin looked back at Carroll with scared large yellow eyes. Eyes that you would see on someone who just witnessed the most terrifying thing in their life. “I had a scary dream” Calvin said, his sentence being interrupted by the occasional sniffle, and quiet sob. “Oh, son. Come here.” Carroll said, as he scooped up Calvin into his arms. He wrapped Calvin back up into his blanket like a burrito and held him in his arms. Close to his chest. “Do you want to talk about it?” Carroll asked, wanting to know what kind of dream could terrify his son. Calvin wiped his eyes and explained what his dream was about, his sentences often getting interrupted by the occasional sob and sniffle. “There was a monster, and it was big and scary and… and I was scared, cause it said it was… was…it said it was gonna eat me!” Calvin expressed that last part of the sentence with a yell. And then he broke out into sobs. Carroll hated seeing his son cry, and did his best to console him. He shifted Calvin’s body so that his head was on his shoulder and he started to bounce up and down. Similar to what he did when Calvin was a kitten. “Shh, Shh, Shh. It’s ok, everything is fine. The monsters gone now. And I’m here now, I won’t let the monster eat you.” But Clavin still sobbed and cried. Carroll didn’t know what to do, so he shifted Calvin back into his arms like when he was a kitten and wrapped him back up into his blanket. He held him close and started to sing a song he used to sing to Calvin when he was a kitten.

Close your eyes
Have no fear
The monster’s gone
He’s on the run and your daddy’s here

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

As he sang Calvin stopped crying and started to stare at him with his large yellow eyes. Carroll started to rock Calvin back and forth slightly and gently, as he slowly walked around the room.

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way, it’s getting better and better

As he said this he booped Calvin’s nose, this caused Calvin to giggle.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

As he continued to sing Calvin’s eyelids started to slowly close. Soon Calvin closed his eyes and cuddled up closer to Carroll’s chest. Carroll continued to sing.

Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we’ll both have to be patient
‘Cause it’s a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes, it’s a long way to go
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way, it’s getting better and better

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

Darling, darling, darling
Darling Calvin.

As Carroll finished the song, he looked down and listened closely as he could hear the faint breaths coming from his son, huddled in his arms. He looked at his sleeping son with tears in his eyes. But he held them back not wanting to wake Calvin up. He then turned slowly around and walked back to Calvin’s bed. And he laid him back down in his bed gently. Tucking him in. Once Calvin was back in his bed. Carroll pulled up a chair, but before he sat down, he kissed Calvin’s forehead and whispered, “Oíche mhaith a mhic ghrámhar.” (Goodnight my darling son). And with that he sat down in the chair. He didn’t know what he did to be given such a wonderful son. But he thanks god everyday for it.

Chapter Text

“Top of the morning!” Carroll exclaimed as he walked into the kitchen. “Good morning dear.” Carroll’s wife Nina responded, not taking her eyes off the stove. “How’d ya sleep?” Nina asked, grabbing a spatula from the cabinet. “Like a kitten.” Carroll said, as he walked to his chair at the table. Before sitting down, he stopped behind Roark and Calvin who were sitting in their chairs, Roark practically bouncing up and down, waiting impatiently for Nina to finish making breakfast. “What about you lads? How’d ya sleep?” Carroll said as he ruffled the fur on the tops of their heads. “Great!” , “Good.” They said in near unison, although Roark’s voice was a lot more audible compared to Calvin’s. “That’s great.” Carroll said as he took is seat. Unfolding the newspaper his wife had set down on the table. Soon his wife came by, placing down a cup of coffee in front of him and one for herself. She soon came back and placed down two cups of milk for Roark and Calvin. Carroll sat there as he read the newspaper, occasionally stopping to take a sip of his coffee. “Any plans for today dear?” Carroll asked before taking a sip of his coffee. “Nothing you have to do, I just need to water the plants, and trim the hedges.” Nina said as she grabbed a multitude of plates from the cabinet. “Ya sure there isn’t anything I need to work on?” Carroll questioned as he set down his coffee. There was usually something Carroll needed to do. He rarely had any free time. Whenever he was home he was either working, or sleeping. “I’m sure.” Nina said, slightly annoyed. “Thank the saints.” Carroll said under his breath. Carroll was praying for a day to himself, where he can spend time doing what he wanted. Don’t get him wrong, he loved helping out around the household, he prided himself on his usefulness. He was sure that if he wasn’t such a useful guy, Nina probably wouldn’t have stuck around to marry him. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t get tired of spending his weekends working, especially after a long work week.

After a couple minutes of silence, Nina came by the table and set down four plates of food. it was the usual breakfast they had during the weekends, eggs, ham, and toast. Oatmeal, porridge, and bread with butter was served during the work week, since it was simple and cheap. While anything complicated like what they were having today was served during the weekend. Soon they dug into their food. Carroll, Roark and Calvin all took a bite of their food. “So, how is it?” Nina asked inquisitively. “Like angels themselves cooked it!” Carroll exclaimed. He understood how much his wife liked to be praised, but she would never admit. He learned quickly that she loved to be praised for things she did. And Carroll made sure to praise her as much as possible. “That’s good.” Nina said, with a slight smile on her face. Once everyone was done with breakfast, Nina got up and started to collect the plates to clean them. “Do ya need any help?” Carroll asked. She had already cooked breakfast, he didn’t want her to have to clean dishes directly after that. “Well, I could use some help. If ya don’t mind.” Nina exclaimed, Carroll then move to the sink and started to help her with cleaning the dishes. Roark and Calvin had gone to their rooms to get dressed so they could play outside.

Once the dishes were done, Nina went upstairs to get dressed, and since Carroll had already gotten dressed he and the boys, headed out into the backyard. Roark and a Calvin had already started to play so, Carroll headed to his workshop, which was just their storage shed. Due to an incident involving Roark and him trying to build some sort of flying machine, Nina had forced Carroll to put a lock on the shed. But anyway, Carroll flicked on the light and sat down. His workshop was covered in sawdust and stacks of scrap wood littered the room. Nina would have a heart attack if she had stepped into here, but she agreed to let Carroll do his own thing in the shed. Carroll grabbed his whittling knife and started to whittle. Carroll didn’t have much interests, hell he didn’t have much time to learn new interests. But two interests he did have was woodworking and guns. The latter not being a thing his wife was a huge fan of. But she let him enjoy it, just so long as he didn’t hurt himself or anyone. Carroll could spend hours putting together and taking apart his hunting shotgun. He remembers the day he bought it.

He and Nina were still living in New York at the time, and Sophie had just moved away, so it was just the two of them. There was a gun store that had just opened up near their home, and Carroll practically had to beg Nina to let him go there. Eventually, being the saint she was she let him. Once he walked into that store it was like heaven to him. So many different types of guns, in one place. When he was a kid, he only had his father’s gun and the guns he read about in books, but since then gun technology had flourished. He was amazed by how complex guns had become, and the fact you could purchase one so easily. They must have spent hours inside that store until Carroll had settled on the one. A Winchester Model 12. As soon as Nina had got one look at the thing she immediately denied Carroll’s request to buy it. Carroll had to spend hours trying to negotiate with her, until she let up. And Carroll was now a proud owner of a gun.

Another interest Carroll had taken up recently was whittling. He started once he got a job at the Carpentry shop. He at first started small, whittling small shapes from wood, but he then moved up to more complex objects, such as animals. Once he got news that Sophie was expecting he was ecstatic. He was going to be an uncle, and he understood that with a kitten on the way Sophie and Ransom might not have enough money to spend on toys, so Carroll took it up himself to carve toys for his soon to be niece or nephew. He spent many sleepless nights carving and carving until he thought he had enough. Once Roark was born, Carroll had come to their house to drop off his gift. Sophie was thankful that Carroll had done this for her, but Ransom was the opposite. He was offended that Carroll thought he couldn’t afford toys, and wanted Carroll to take them back, but Sophie had kept him from doing that. Carroll never really understood why Ransom didn’t like him. But he didn’t think much of it.

Carroll’s reminiscing on past events was cut short when he heard a soft knock on the shed door. Carroll got up and opened the door. There stood his son Calvin. Carroll bent down to his level and asked him a question in a soft tone of voice. “Yes son. Do you need something?” Calvin looked back behind him and Carrol looked as well Roark was hiding behind a plant, mouthing something to Calvin with two thumbs up in the air. But once Roark noticed Carroll was looking at him, he ducked back behind the plant. “C-C-Could you play with us… please?” Calvin asked, looking as if he might burst into tears. Ever since Calvin opened his eyes, Carroll could see that he was a shy kid. Carroll when he was a kid was no different, but Calvin was on another level. When Calvin learned to talk in full sentences he would say as much as two sentences as week with a few single words scattered in there. Nina tried to get him out of his shell, but nothing worked, Carroll had to constantly remind her that these things take time, and that he’ll become more forward when he gets older. But that was besides the point. He had to answer Calvin’s question. “Sure I will lad. What game do you want to play?” Carroll asked, still bent down to Calvin’s level, but just as soon as he finished his sentence, Roark came running to him from behind the plant. “We’re gonna play tag, and you’re gonna be it!” Roark said as he ran closer to Carroll. Carroll looked over at Calvin and asked him, “Do you want to play tag?” Carroll understood that Roark would often, not force but persuade Calvin to play the games he wanted to play. But he wanted to teach Calvin to make his own decisions. Calvin gave a silent nod yes, and so Carroll had no choice but to play tag. “Well ok.” Carroll said as he stood up straight, stretching his back in a comical manner, while also twisting his body like he’s about to run in the Olympics. “Yes!” Roark said fist pumping the air. “Alright, Uncle Carroll you’re it. Me and Freckle will run.” He said, Carroll gave a nod in agreement. And soon the game began. He figured he’d have to go easy on them since they were only kids, and he was a full sized adult, who was much faster than them, but he was soon proven wrong when they dashed away from him, at lighting pace. Carroll stood there stunned, but soon realized, he had an objective to do, so he gave chase, running after them. Carroll didn’t think he was too old to run, but years of farm work and long construction jobs, had taken a toll on his body. He was by no means slow, but he wasn’t as fast as he used to be. Every minute he spent running he felt his body creak and ache.

But soon he started to get closer and closer to his son Calvin, just as he was about to tag him, Calvin tripped and fell head first into the grass. Carroll immediately stopped like a ship when it drops anchor. He immediately began tending to his son. Carroll got down on the ground and sat his son up. His son was covered in dirt and his shirt and shorts were smeared with grass stains. Both of Calvin’s knees were scrapped and leaking small amounts of blood. And then Carroll heard a sound he hated to hear, his son began to bawl his eyes out. Carroll wasn’t annoyed that his son was crying, but his son’s crying always reminded him of his late younger sisters when his father would start screaming and yelling. Carroll immediately hugged Calvin. “Shh shh shh, it’s alright, you’re ok, you’re ok, I’m here.” He said as he switched from hugging his son to picking him up. “Is Freckle ok?” Roark asked from behind Carroll. “Go get your aunt Nina please.” Carroll ordered in a stern but soft tone. Roark immediately went running to Nina in the front yard, “AUNT NINAAAAAA!” Roark yelled as he ran to the front yard. Carrol soon brought Calvin upstairs into the bathroom and grabbed a wet towel. “Now Calvin, this is going to hurt a little bit, but it’s just so I can help you feel better.” Carroll said, he then started to wipe down his son’s knees and legs. He could hear his son whimper and silently cry. “I know this hurts but it’s so you can feel better.” Carroll said as he looked up to his son. “What happened, is Calvin alright, is he injured?” Nina asked as she came storming into the bathroom. “Just a little spill while playing is all, just some scrapped knees is all.” Carroll said, as he pulled his attention away from his son to his now hysterical wife. “Let me take care of it.” Nina exclaimed as she pushed past Carroll so she can take care of Calvin. Carroll didn’t want to argue with his wife about who should take care of Calvin, so he let her do her stuff, plus she knew more about how to take care of an injury more than him. His father would have said for him to just suck it up and to quit whining like a sissy. Carroll had sworn to never act like his father. So he knew his son was in the best care, so he stepped back. He left the bathroom and met Roark outside the bathroom. Roark looked guilt stricken. “I’m sorry.” Roark said meekly, as he bowed his head. “It’s not your fault lad. It was an accident. And your cousin will be fine.” Carroll said as he patted Roark on the shoulder. He soon grabbed Roark’s paw and walked with him down stairs. He got Roark a glass of water, and waited for his wife to come back down.

It felt like hours they had been waiting, but soon Nina came down stairs. Looking angry as ever. “Now who’s responsible for this?” His wife asked sternly. Roark was about to get up when Carroll put his hand out stopping Roark from getting up. And Carroll stood up. “It was my fault, I was playing tag with the boys and I guess I ran too fast for Calvin to handle and he ended up tripping. I’m sorry.” Carroll said as he stood up straight like a soldier admitting a mistake to an officer. Carroll looked on as his wife pondered what to do. “Well, no more playing tag! Now go apologize!” Nina said as she walked back out into the front yard. Carroll was surprised, he expected a stern grilling, like when she would grill Roark when he made a mistake. But he then walked up to his son’s room, knocked then opened the door. “Hey lad, how’re ya feeling?” Carroll asked sheepishly. “Good.” Calvin answered as he snuggled up under his blankets. “I’m sorry I caused you to trip, I didn’t mean to.” Carroll said as he walked closer to his son’s bed. “It’s ok.” Calvin said as he gave his dad a hug. Carroll’s heart melted, and he soon embraced his son. Carroll then opened his eyes as he saw Roark climb into the bed and started to hug both of them. “I love group hugs.” Roark said as he embraced both of them. Carroll chuckled.

Chapter Text

Carroll Allen McMurray
Born: November 30, 1878
Killarney, Ireland

Born in the deep countryside of Killarney Ireland, Carroll Allen McMurray was born. First child to Edward and Bridget McMurray. From a young age Carroll’s father prepared Carroll for a life of hard work. Albeit using unconventional methods, such as physical and mental abuse. The punishments Edward would put his son through included Carroll being forced to sleep outside without dinner. But this all ended when Carroll killed is father in order to protect his two little sisters, and mother. The rest of his family’s lives were cut short when they died in a house fire. As a result Carroll packed up the remaining belongings that survived the house fire and immigrated to the United States of America, where he met his future wife Jeannine Walsh. They soon married and moved from New York to St Charles Missouri.

Carroll was what you could say a perfect husband, at least in Jeannine’s eyes. Carroll was a hard working, but quiet Irishman. Carroll lived by the saying “Actions speak louder than words.” He kept to himself and didn’t speak much, he was very much an introvert through and through. And he worked as hard as he could to proved for his family. He loved his wife, his son Calvin, and his nephew Roark, he tried to be the best husband, father, and father figure to his family. He wouldn’t dish out punishments, or argue with his wife, so many people saw him as a pushover and bad father figure. But Carroll planned to raise his two boys to the best of his abilities. Ensuring they had a better childhood than he did.

Carroll wasn’t necessarily a happy man deep down, but he preserved the facade of a happy go lucky man, who experienced no problems. But this was far from what Carroll was really like. Beneath that facade, Carroll was an angry and easily frustrated man, who was one bad day from snapping. Carroll was terrified of his real self, believing, that if he were to express a single bout of anger or frustration, he would be no better than his father. Carroll’s one big fear was becoming his father. This fear would cause Carroll to suppress his emotions, like anger and happiness. He kept his anger buried deep down inside him, and he rarely laughed. His suppression of emotions would soon lead to multiple mental problems in the future.

In 1917 when Carroll was 38, he was drafted into the Great War. When Carroll completed boot camp, he was soon dropped off at a trench in the middle of France. Carroll wasn’t 100% sure why he was going off to war, but he did his best to be a great soldier. Carroll was a machine gunner for his platoon. He would stay inside the trench and would provide cover fire for his fellow soldiers. Carroll would soon be reassigned to a different group, because of an incident that happened between Carroll and one of his fellow soldiers. This group was responsible for tracking German troops. The men that made up this group soon became great friends with Carroll. But the would soon meet their end when they were killed by the Germans. Carroll as a result killed every German he saw responsible for his friend’s deaths. Carroll would soon find himself back inside a trench, where he met a young soldier, who saw him as a father figure. Carroll witnessed the true horrors of war. But with this young soldier as company he was able to bear it. But just like Carroll’s previous friends, this same young soldier would meet a grisly fate. This young soldier was blown up by a mortar right in front of Carroll. Carroll got injured in the process and he was soon honorably discharged in 1919.

Carroll didn’t return to normal, he no longer was able to preserve his happy facade, and his facade started to slip. It started out small with small out bursts like insulting people that made him mad. This soon erupted when he yelled at his wife and Roark. When Carroll calmed down, he and his wife Jeannine swore to never talk about the argument again. This was not the only problem Carroll had as a result of the war. He struggled with post traumatic stress disorder, or shell shock. He would experience constant nightmares, and hallucinations. This caused Carroll to slip into a deep depression. As a result of a severe nightmare and a combination of sleep deprivation and depression, Carroll committed suicide. Shooting himself in the head with his own shotgun in the shed.

Chapter Text

It was the year 1918, It had been 9 months since Carroll had seen his family, but it felt like decades since he’d seen them. It was taking a toll on him. He constantly worried about whether he was going to see them again. The main thing he was worried about was how his wife was feeling. She would have to start working to provide for them while he was away. Carroll hated that he had to put his wife through this. He once believed Roark’s hyperactive behavior would die down as he got older, but it seemed to get worse. And Calvin has seemed to get even more introverted. He wished he could be there to help her deal with their two boys. He wished he had never been drafted.

Carroll had first been shipped off in May of 1917, and he had completed basic training in November of that same year. Then he was shipped off to France a couple days after finishing basic training. He had served in a trench for around 3 months, and in those 3 months, he had experienced hell. He had seen many men get shot and blown up. Those that didn’t die had to endure the harsh conditions of the trench. It was muddy, wet and cold. Pools of blood littered the area, and discarded bullet casings littered the ground. The sounds, he heard in that trench were horrific. He could hear the screams and wailing of the wounded, as they were treated for their injuries, and the quiet sobs from his fellow soldiers. The sound of mortars hitting the ground and being launched out, it was as common as lighting in a lighting storm. These were sounds Carroll would never forget. The only sound that brought Carroll comfort was the sound of the flares being fired out at night. In order to keep the battle field lit, so the Germans couldn’t sneak up on them during the night. Carroll tried to deal with these sounds, by talking with other soldiers, but whenever he made a friend, the next day they would die or get injured, so Carroll remained silent and didn’t bother to get to know his fellow soldiers. Carroll did sometimes help the medics with the injured, helping wrap bandages and give food and water to the wounded. But he still refused to befriend them.

Carroll was lucky he hadn’t been shot or hurt yet. The worst injury Carroll had gotten was burning his hand on the overheated barrel of his machine gun. Carroll loved the machine gun he was given. Whenever he held it he felt powerful and unstoppable. He felt like he was finally in control of his life. And firing it felt even better. He felt all his bottled up emotions race out every time he fired off his weapon. He could spend hours just shooting anything that came into his sight. He did have a few close calls with accidentally almost killed or hitting one of his fellow soldiers, but nobody had gotten hurt. Yet. But there were a few draw backs to Carroll being a machine gunner, sometimes when there would be no way for him to provide cover fire, he would have to grab his army issued rifle and go out into field with his fellow soldiers.

Holding and firing the rifle didn’t have the same effect as holding and firing his machine gun. He was more in control of his emotions when handling a rifle. Another draw back was the guilt. Carroll hated killing, he hated the idea of killing, and after he killed his father he prayed he wouldn’t have to kill anymore. But when he was drafted Carroll realized he would have to kill. Carroll’s excellent marksmanship was both a blessing and a curse. Carroll had deadly accuracy. Meaning if he fired off a weapon he was most certainly going to hit or kill somebody. Carroll couldn’t remember every German he killed, there were too many to count. But despite that, every night when he went to sleep he was plagued by the faces of every German he had taken the life of. He could see their pained and anguished faces. And so Carroll tried his best to only sleep for a few minutes every day, so he wouldn’t have to dream those awful dreams. So since sleeping was off the table Carroll had to find other things to do.

To pass the time in the trench many men either, played games like chess, and cards, or read the little library of books the trench had, or they just sat and stared into the darkness. Carroll was one of those men. One thing that every soldier including Carroll enjoyed was eating. Of course they were given small portions of rations. The rations they carried on them were one can of meat, hard bread, coffee, sugar, and salt. The trench rations were slightly bigger portions of these same things. The food was deplorable, stuff that even pigs wouldn’t eat, but when you’ve gone days running, screaming, crying, and not sleeping, you would work up an appetite. And when you’re hungry you’ll eat anything.

Currently, Carroll was sitting in a little alcove, near one of the barracks. He was eating one of his cans of meat. It tasted disgusting, but Carroll hadn’t eaten in days, so he savored every bite. Carroll was looking down, when his can of meat was slapped out of his hands. “Hey, Irishman! You think you can just steal my food and get away with it?” The soldier asked, in an accusatory tone. “I… what?” Carroll asked confused, raising am eyebrow, he didn’t understand what was happening. “Don’t play dumb Irishman, you stole my food!” The soldier said yelling that last part out loud. Carroll sat up, and responded, “Calm down, now I didn’t ste-“ Carroll felt a fist collide with his gut mid sentence. Carroll curled up into a ball, throwing up the little food he had in his stomach. He groaned in pain. “I know you stole my food, you Irishman are all the same, you steal jobs, and now you steal our food!” The soldier then kicked Carroll as he tried to get up. He felt pain rush all over his body. He then felt himself be lifted up, and then the soldier started to punch Carroll in the face. Reaching back then hitting him, reaching back then hitting him. Carroll tried to fight back, he tried kicking, but that proved futile. He also tried grabbing the guys fists, but that didn’t work.

Finally Carroll with all his might, punched the soldier in the face, knocking out some teeth. Carroll walked backwards and collapsed on the ground in pain. Thinking the worst was over. He then felt a kick to the head, Carroll again curled up into a ball. His body now was being kicked and punched by the soldier. Carroll blindly reached around for anything he could use to defend himself, when he felt cold metal touch his hand. Knowing what this was, Carroll saw red, and he uncurled, and fired a single shot into the soldier that was attacking him. The bullet pierced the guys lower abdomen, entering through the right side, and then back out the same side. The soldier groaned and collapsed onto the ground. Carroll felt all his anger take control of himself and he stood up, not feeling pain anymore. He stood up and observed his surroundings, half the soldiers in the trench were observing the fight, and some had been cheering Carroll’s attacker on. Some had rushed to his attackers aid. Carroll was running on pure adrenaline, he chuckled as he saw the body of his attacker on the ground, when Carroll finally realized what he had done. Carroll dropped the gun and backed himself back into the little alcove he had been sitting in previously. He sat there and reviled in his guilt.

Carroll had been called into the commanding officer’s room. He walked into the room and immediately stood at attention, back completely straight and he saluted his superior. “At ease Private McMurray, take a seat.” The officer ordered, so Carroll obeyed this order and sat down. The commanding officer pulled out a file and started to read it aloud. “Private Carroll Allen McMurray. Machine gunner, expert marksman, and goody two shoes. Not one infraction on your record.” He said, putting the file down and staring into Carroll’s eyes. “What was that? Hmm? Why’d you do that?” The officer asked, pointing outside the room. This time staring deeper into Carroll’s eyes. “Permission to speak freely sir?” Carroll asked. “Permission granted.” The commanding officer said as he waved his hand, and he sat back into his chair. “I don’t know what that was! I-I-I-I was just attacked, because he said I stole his food, and I had no choice but to shoot him, I didn’t know what I was thinking, I was just acting on instinct.” Carroll said nervously. Making different hand gestures. “Well did you?” The officer inquired. “Not at all, I know how valuable food is to us, and I would never steal from anyone!” Carroll said, starting to get even more nervous. There commanding officer’s sat up and put his hand on his chin. Pondering. There was 5 minutes of silence, but it felt like hours. But the silence was soon interrupted. “Well, I believe you. And due to your more than valuable skills in shooting, you won’t be court marshalled. You’re going to be reassigned to a new group. You’ll be the machine gunner for a group that tracks and monitors German troops.” The officer said. “Oh thank the saints. Thank you sir!” Carroll said relieved, as he put out his hand to shake the commanding officer’s hand. The officer shook his hand and Carroll got up from the chair and started to exit the room. “Oh, and by the way, what will happen to the guy I shot? Is he… alive?” Carroll questioned, looking back at the commanding officer. “He’ll live.” The officer said nonchalantly not even looking at Carroll. Carroll felt some of his guilt lift from him, and he walked out of the room.

Chapter Text

When Carroll first laid eyes on his new team he was at first worried that he wouldn’t fit in with them. Their Leader which they nicknamed Chief, was a grizzled man, he had scars on his hands and his face. Carroll was intimidated. “Well, well, well, look who we have here! You must be the new machine gunner, huh? Chief said in a very strong Boston accent. “Uh… yes sir” Carroll said meekly. “Ah don’t give non of that “sir” crap, call me Chief.” Chief said slapping Carroll on the back hard. “Yes sir, uh I mean yes chief.” Carroll replied, hoping Chief wouldn’t notice his slip up. “Good, let me introduce you to the crew.” Chief exclaimed, walking towards the group. “That there is Quincy we call him Que, he’s our mechanic.” Chief said pointing towards a white cat with glasses, examining the vehicle. Que gave Carroll a nod. “He don’t speak much.” Chief informed Carroll. “That’s Frank, our navigator.” Chief said, swinging his arm around the side of a beige cat. “How ya doin.” Frank exclaimed, giving Carroll a nod. “Hi.” Carroll said nervously. Chief then walked over to a short striped cat. “This is Stan, our driver.” Chief said “And this… is Bertha!” Chief said slapping the hood of a truck with multiple bullet holes in it, and a bed with a tarp covering it. “This is where you’ll be working.” Chief said as he walked behind the truck and climbed into the truck bed. There was a small box with a machine gun mounted to the top. “By the way, what’s your name? I didn’t get it.” Chief asked, “uh Carroll McMurray sir.” Carroll replied, “Carl, got it.” Chief said, “uh no Chief, it’s Carroll.” Carroll corrected him, “yeah Carl.” Chef replied, confused. “Carroll. Chief.” Carroll said slightly irritated. “Like a Christmas carol?” Chef asked, starting to smile. “Yes Chief.” Carroll said. Chief then broke out into a large burst of laughter. “You, you, you have a girl’s name?” Chef asked, between laughs. “Well it’s a unisex name.” Carroll said, starting to get embarrassed. “Oh, man that’s unfortunate.” Chief said, wiping a tear from his scared face. When Chief calmed down, he got up out of the bed and walked away. Carroll sat there in the bed embarrassed.

It had been a few days since Carroll had first joined the group, which his teammates called themselves “The Trackers”. Carroll hadn’t talked much with them. He didn’t bother them and they didn’t bother him. There wasn’t much action, during those few days, mainly just driving, sleeping, then driving some more. But that all changed when they encountered a troop of 40 German soldiers in a small town. They at first stayed back, and set up camp in a nearby forest. “Ok so, the Germans are here, and we are here.” Frank said to them point to two different points on a map. “Ok team, we’ll stay here until we can ambush them.” Chief ordered them. Soon night fell and the group fell asleep. Carroll was a very light sleeper and he could be woken up by the drop of a pin. Carroll soon stirred from his light sleep to the sound of a twig snapping. Carroll quickly sat up reaching for his rifle. He saw the lights of lanterns walking towards their camp. They had used the car as cover and his team were sleeping on opposite sides of the car. Carroll rushed to wake Chief. “Chief! Chief! Wake up!” Carroll said in a loud whisper. “Huh what, what’s happening?” Chief asked groggily, sitting up from his sleeping bag. “There are Germans heading our way right now!” Carroll explained still in loud whisper. “Chief we got company!” Stan yelled as he turned the corner from the other side of the truck. “Ok, ok, McMurray, get to your gun, Stan, Que, Frank, you’re with me prepare your weapons.” Chief ordered, as he untucked his revolver from his waistband.

Carroll rushed to his machine gun. And the rest of the team split up to opposite sides of the truck. Stan and Que on the left, Frank and Chief on the right. As soon as the Germans came within eyesight Chief yelled “Fire!” When Carroll got sight of the Germans, he let loose. His team didn’t even get time to fire, because Carroll had already killed most of them. Laughing as he did so. The Germans took cover behind trees, Carroll’s gun destroyed those trees. Carroll must have killed all of them, because when he ran out of bullets, he didn’t hear any other gun fire, from either sides. When it was done, Carroll was shaking. Carroll looked up and saw his team staring back at him. Some frightened, some amazed. “Uh… sorry… about that.” Carroll said, apologetically. There was a moment of silence. Until Chief started to clap. “That, was, AMAZING!” Chief excitedly said. Laughing loudly. “That’s how it’s done. That was impressive, wasn’t that impressive?” Chief said turning towards the rest of the team. The team all agreed.

As time went on Carroll was used by Chief as their secret weapon. Chief said it was because Carroll was scary, and that his laughter was striking fear into the enemy. The more Carroll was used, the more he started to relax a bit. His team even gave him a nickname “Crazy-man”, which Carroll wasn’t a big fan of, but he didn’t want to complain. He talked with his team, he enjoyed their company. He played cards with them. He felt like he finally belonged. He and Que talked about their family. Que had a girlfriend with a kitten on the way. Carroll gave Que advice about how to raise a kitten. Carroll also nerded out with Stan about guns and weapons. Stan gave Carroll tips about how to take care of a rifle, and how to avoid jamming. But Carroll didn’t get along with everyone. Carroll didn’t exactly get along with Frank. Frank was skeptical about Carroll, he also constantly voiced his concerns about using Carroll’s feral side to Chief. Chief constantly put down Frank’s concern. This caused Frank to be distant with Carroll. But everything wasn’t exactly great. Despite getting along with mostly everyone, Carroll’s mental health was struggling. The constant use of his feral side caused his personality to become unbalanced. He could go from happy to furious at the drop of a hat. He would also sometimes wake up and just rock back and forth chuckling to himself. He was also plagued by awful nightmares. He saw the faces of every person he had killed. He would also sometimes see the shadows of those he had killed in the corner of his eye. Carroll didn’t want to experience this every night, so he stayed up all night long, not wanting to see those awful nightmares.

This all accumulated one night when Carroll was struggling the most. He had just woken up from the most intense and miserable dream he had ever had. He was in a form of trance. He had got up from his sleeping bag, grabbed his rifle and walked into the woods. Little did Carroll know, Que had woken up due to Carroll. Once Que got his bearings he grabbed his glasses and followed Carroll into the woods. Carroll stopped once he heard the sound of Que’s footsteps. “Crazy-man? What ya doin up so late?” Que asked concerned. “I’ve killed 162 Germans.” Carroll said, mechanically, with a monotone and emotionless voice. “You feelin ok Crazy-man?” Que asked sounding even more concerned and confused. Que walked closer to Carroll. Que touched Carroll’s shoulder. Quickly, Carroll grabbed Que and forced him to the ground. Que staring down the barrel of Carroll’s rifle. “C-C-C-Carroll calm down, i-i-i-its me Que.” Que said terrified. Que looked Carroll in the eyes, Carroll’s eyes were no longer the friendly eyes he remembered, they were replaced by emotionless and soulless eyes, devoid of reason and feeling. Carroll then saw black. Carroll soon awoke to being tied up in the back of their truck. He heard his team talking. “I told you this would happen! But you didn’t listen. He’s CRAZY!” Frank yelled. It turns out Carroll had been knocked out by Chief. And was tied up to keep him from hurting them. Chief talked to Carroll and that how he shouldn’t have abused the feral side of Carroll and that in order to protect the rest of the team Carroll could no longer be allowed to to operate a machine gun.

A month after this incident, his group was called by the French army to help them protect a small town from German troops. They arrived there and walked into the school where the French army had set up camp. “Ok we’re here.” Chief announced. As the team walked into the school and set down their gear. They were soon greeted by an army of children. Surrounding them and touching their gear. “Get away you little vermin.” Frank said, furiously, as the children touched his navigational gear. Soon their attention was taken away from the children to the sounds of multiple sets of boots, which came marching towards them. It was the French army. The children soon ran away. “Ok what’s goin on here?” Chief asked, sounding slightly frustrated. “Heureusement que tu es là. Changement de programme, tu reprends les opérations pour nous. Au revoir.” The leader of the French army said, as he and his team walked out of the building. They all stood there confused. “Does anyone know what they just said?” Chief asked. Carroll and rest of them shook their heads. Soon Chief ran out the school towards the French army. “Wait, wait, wait!” Chief yelled as he ran after them. Carroll and the rest of the team stayed behind. Observing their surroundings. Soon Chief came back gasping for breath, looking clearly furious. “Stupid French army, a bunch of COWARDS!” Chief yelled, at the currently leaving French army. “So change of plans, we’ll have to guard this town by ourselves.” Chief said, sitting down in a nearby chair. “Chief we don’t have that much ammo to fight the oncoming Germans.” Stan exclaimed. “We’ll make do.” Chief said closing his eyes as he laid back into the chair. As they set up camp, Carroll entertained the children with stories. The children didn’t understand a single word he said, but he still told them stories. As he played with them, he couldn’t help but think of his boys at home. Soon though this was interrupted by Frank running into the room. “We’ve got trouble! We’ve got German troops massing outside this town as we speak.” Frank yelled, out of breath. “Shit.” Chief said angrily. “Crazy-man you’re fast right?” Chief asked, pointing at Carroll. “Yes Chief. At least I think I am.” Carroll said. “Good. Grab some binoculars and go towards the Germans, we need to know how many we’re dealing with. Now go!” Chief ordered. “Yes Chief!” Carroll said as he grabbed the binoculars from Frank and he ran towards the Germans. As Carroll made his way towards them, he saw something that terrified him. A German mortar was being set up and was aimed right at the school. Carroll realized what this meant so he ran. He ran as fast as he could back towards the school. He had to save them. He had to. But he then heard that awful sound. WHOOOOOOOOSH————BOOOOM! The first mortar had hit the school, Carroll was nearing the school, but then he heard it again. WHOOOOOOOOSH———-BOOOOOM! The second mortar had hit the school, leveling it. Turning it into nothing but rubble. Carroll was blown back by the blast into the woods. He was knocked out. He was soon awoken by the sounds of German troops walking toward the now ruined school. They walked around the rubble observing their handy work. Carroll made sure to remain hidden. Soon a German soldier walked up to their leader. “Keine Überlebenden ,Kapitän.” The German soldier said, saluting his superior. “Gut. Wir werden, dort unser Lager aufschlagen.” The captain said, pointing towards an abandoned building. Carroll sat back, taking a breath. When he was sure the Germans were gone, he got up. He stood up and walked over to the ruins of the school. He stood there shocked and horrified by what had happened to his friends and the children.

After seeing what had happened to his friends and the children they were supposed to protect, Carroll fell to his knees and let out the most soul shattering, earth shaking scream imaginable. This scream was comprised of anger, sadness, but most importantly pain. All Carroll felt was pain, this pain soon turned to sadness, this sadness soon turned to anger. And Carroll went from crying to feeling unbridled feral rage. Carroll stood up and started to plan his revenge. Carroll first started by gathering the weapons and ammo he could salvage from the rubble. As he walked through the ruins of the school, he could hear the snapping of bones and the crinkling of charred flesh. He couldn’t help but let out a silent sob. Soon Carroll had gathered all the weapons and ammo he could find. Two M1903 Springfield rifles, one with 4 rounds the other with 5. He also found Chief’s M1917 revolver, containing 3 rounds. Carroll picked up the revolver and tucked it into the waistband of his uniform. He then grabbed the first rifle and slung it around his shoulder, and he grabbed the last rifle and held it in his hands. He carefully marched into the forest surrounding the town and held up, until night time. Waiting until the Germans were asleep.

Once it was night time and all the Germans had gone asleep for the night, Carroll carefully sneaked into the abandoned building the Germans had set up camp in. The building was 2 stories tall, shattered windows, no doors, and looked like it would collapse at any moment. Carroll walked behind the building. He took a deep breath. He then opened the door, trying his best to be quiet. He walked in and took a look at his surroundings. There were two German soldiers asleep on the ground beside him, and there was a door leading to the main entrance of the building. Carroll pulled the bolt back on his rifle and aimed it towards the first sleeping German. He pulled the trigger. BANG! The sound awoke the second sleeping German, and the German fumbled for his weapon. Carroll pulled the bolt back again and aimed towards the second German. Just as the German finally got his weapon, Carroll pulled the trigger. BANG! Carroll then started to hear the shouts of the other German soldiers, they marched down stairs. Carroll quickly ran to the left side of the door way, and pulled out his knife. Holding it in his hands ready to stab anyone that dares to walk through that door. Just as the German soldier stepped foot into the room, Carroll lunged. He stabbed the German in the heart killing him. Carroll then heard the sounds of gun fire coming from the main entrance. Carroll grabbed the now dead soldier and used his body as shield. Carroll quickly ducked behind an upturned table, and dropped the dead soldier.

Carroll could hear the gun shots, nearly getting hit in the process. When the Germans went to reload, Carroll took a quick peak from above the table. Two Germans were reloading their weapons. Carroll took advantage of this and fired a shot from his rifle. It hit the first German, killing him. Carroll then ducked back down as the second German fired more rounds into the table. Carroll looked back up and fired another round. This time he didn’t hit anything. “Damn!” Carroll said as he dropped the now empty rifle on the round, unslinging the second rifle from his back. He pulled the bolt back and waited for a chance to shoot. When Carroll heard the most beautiful sound imaginable. A ding sound. The German’s weapon had jammed. As the German struggled to unjam the weapon, Carroll took aim firing two shots into the German’s chest. A waste of ammo, but he had gotten caught up in the moment. Carroll sat back down behind the table and listened out for more Germans. He didn’t hear anything so he stood up carefully, and walked out into the main entrance of the building, to the right of him was a large staircase. Carroll then heard a shot whizz by his head, he took cover. He looked up and on the balcony was another German. Carroll pulled the bolt back and fired a round, it hit the German in the leg, but it didn’t kill him. The German fell to his knees but soon got back up. As the German struggled to get to his feet, Carroll ran to the staircase, pulled the bolt back on his rifle and fired another shot into the German, this time killing him, and causing him to fall from the balcony and land on the ground in front of Carroll. Carroll now was out of rifles, so he dropped the now empty weapon and grabbed the revolver from his waistband. He pulled the hammer back. Carroll cautiously walked up the stairs, the creaking of the old wooden steps filling his ears. As he walked into the second floor, Carroll felt a man try to take ahold of his revolver. Carroll struggled with the man, which caused him to fire off a round into the ceiling. The man started to push Carroll back towards the staircase, and soon Carroll fell down the staircase. Landing on the ground hard. Carroll was in severe pain, he was half unconscious, but he could make out the silhouette of the German soldier run past him and out the front door. Carroll couldn’t let him get away, so Carroll stood up trying to get his bearings. But he realized he couldn’t move his arm. He had dislocated his arm. Knowing what he had to do, prepared himself for excruciating pain, and he slammed his arm into the wall, popping it back into its socket.

Carroll then ran after the German, the German wasn’t a fast runner, so he didn’t get far. Carroll at first tried to shoot him, firing two rounds in the German’s direction. One of which hit him in his leg. The German collapsed but still managed to get up. He started to hobble away. Carroll tried to shoot at him again, but he had ran out of weapons and ammo. So Carroll dropped the revolver, and pursued the German. The German didn’t stand a chance against Carroll’s speed so Carroll quickly caught up to the German. The German turned around and Carroll pounced. Like a wild animal pounces on its prey. This pounce caused both the German and Carroll to fall against the ground. It must have knocked the wind out of the German, cause the German didn’t put up much of a fight. Carroll got on top of the German, and let loose. Landing punch after punch on the German’s face, breaking his nose, knocking out teeth. Carroll laughed as he did this, with sadistic glee. Carroll must have punched this guy for 10 minutes, but he stopped once his knuckles started to hurt. Carroll stopped punching the German, and through broken English and his now broken jaw, the German begged for mercy. Carroll wouldn’t give mercy, not after what the German’s had done. So Carroll reached for his metal helmet, took it off, and started to bash the German’s face in. It took all of 7 minutes for Carroll to stop. Once he realized the German was dead, Carroll stood up, put his now bloodied helmet back on and let out the most crazed laugh imaginable. Once Carroll was done laughing, he snapped out of his trance and realized what he had done. He had slaughtered 7 Germans without mercy. Carroll felt awful, he had become a monster. He stepped away from the German and sat down on a piece of rubble. He sat and pondered for hours straight. His thought process was soon interrupted by a soldier tapping his shoulder.

Chapter Text

It was September 1918, Carroll hadn’t been in a trench in 5 months, but oh boy does bring back memories. Horrible memories, terrifying memories. Carroll had been reassigned yet again, hopefully for the last time. When Carroll arrived back into the trench he served in 5 months ago, he was saddened to find that he didn’t recognize a single soldier he served with previously. The soldiers that took their places, looked like children. Carroll couldn’t help but imagine his two boys in their position. God. The very thought terrified him. Due to their basic train being cut short, and with Carroll’s experience in the field, he was forced to teach them the parts they missed of their training. These new soldiers tested Carroll’s patience and niceness. He held back his anger every time he was called old man. But one soldier that respected him was a young soldier named Marlin, but he liked to be called Marley. Currently, Carroll was sitting down, reading his bible, when Marley came and sat down beside him. Carroll tried to ignore him, he knew what happened when he made friends. He sat in silence until, “So is it true?” Marley asked. “Is what true?” Carroll asked, not taking his eyes off his bible. “That you’ve been out in the field. You’ve seen real action!” Marley exclaimed. Carroll shut his bible, “Yes I’ve been in the field, but that was months ago, I was reassigned. Now if you’ll be so kind, could you please leave me alone, and let me read my bible.” Carroll replied slightly annoyed. “That’s awesome, I can’t wait to be in the field.” Marley said. Marley continued rambling and rambling. Carroll payed no attention to him, and reopened his bible and kept reading.

The sound of the whistle filled his ears. Time for hell. Carroll thought, soon he heard the sound of young men screaming and gunfire. Carroll would run, shoot, reload, run, shoot, reload, run. Carroll soon heard the sound of machine gun fire coming from the German side. Carroll took cover in a hole. He looked around and to his right, he saw a young soldier without a weapon. He was huddled in a ball, flinching at any slight noise. He was held up in a hole. When the machine gun fire stopped, Carroll contemplated to continue running towards the enemy, like he was supposed to. But he couldn’t leave a young man to die scared and alone. So he ran towards the young soldier, firing his rifle at an oncoming German soldier. Soon he slid into the hole, and got his bearings. “Where’s your weapon soldier?” Carroll yelled. He heard no response. He only heard the sounds of crying and sobbing. Carroll grabbed the soldier by his shoulders. Finally getting a good look at the terrified young man. It was Marley. His eyes were red and puffy. Carroll repeated his previous question. “Where’s your weapon soldier?” This time in a lighter more caring tone. “I-I-I-I-I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.” Marley replied, breaking into sobs. Carroll then heard the sound of gunfire coming from beside him, one of his fellow soldiers had just gotten shot and killed right beside him. “Here, take this.” Carroll said reaching for the dead soldiers gun, and handing it to Marley. Marley didn’t grab it, he just sat there crying. Carroll couldn’t help but feel pity for the young soldier, he saw himself in Marley. A man forced into a battle he had no business being in. He also couldn’t help but see Roark, in Marley. So he did what he did best, he comforted Marley. He grabbed Marley in a hug and tried to talk him down. “Shh, shh, shh, it’s ok. You’re gonna be ok. I’ll keep you safe.” Carroll whispered to Marley, this seemed to have calmed Marley down enough for him to start talking. “I-I-I-I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be here!” Marley yelled, clearly panicking. “Nobody should be here!” Carroll responded. “No, I shouldn’t be here, I’m only 16.” Marley said. This shocked Carroll. “Pardon?” Carroll asked, starting to become angry. “I faked my age to be here, I wanted to help out. I didn’t think I’d get this far.” Marley explained. Carroll wanted to yell and berate Marley for his stupidity. But he knew this wasn’t what Marley needed to hear. “That’s ok, just follow me, I’ll show to how to survive, I’ll keep you safe, ok?” Carroll said looking Marley in his eyes. “Ok.” Marley responded. Carroll gave Marley the dead soldiers rifle and he got up from the hole and ran with Marley towards the enemy.

Soon enough, all American soldiers were ordered to fallback. So he, Marley, and the rest of the soldiers returned to the trench. The medics were sent out and retrieved the wounded. Carroll sat down and relaxed to the best of his abilities. He pulled out his bible and started to read. As he read, he overheard the cries and sobs of the young soldiers. Carroll knew there was nothing to he could do. So he tried to tune it out. Soon night came and Carroll was doing his nightly prayers, cause he knew that despite Nina being halfway across the world, she would know if he didn’t do his nightly prayers. And he would get absolutely chewed out by her when or if he came home. When Carroll was done he walked around the trench. Just anticipating the next battle. When his thoughts were interrupted by Marley coming up to him. “So, I just want to apologize for you having to risk your life to help me.” Marley said apologetically. Carroll continued to walk, not taking his eyes off the path in front of him. “It’s ok, I know what it’s like to be scared and alone.” Carroll said, with a soft and caring tone. Marley continued to walk with Carroll, this time not talking. They walked with each other for hours. Marley clearly just enjoying Carroll’s company.

As time went on and the days and battles passed, Carroll saw Marley slowly get more confident and sure of himself. Marley still got scared, but Carroll managed to calm him down. Carroll also learned more about Marley, turns out Marley came from a very poor family, in Michigan. He didn’t have a father and he was raised alone by his mother. Carroll felt bad for Marley. Carroll didn’t have a perfect childhood, but he at least had a father. Given his father didn’t love him. So it was like he didn’t have a father. Carroll also told Marley about his family, he told Marley about his wife, his son, and his nephew. Carroll saw Marley as another son of his. He felt responsible for Marley’s safety, and promised to Marley that he would keep him safe. Unfortunately, this would end tragically.

Carroll and Marley were currently running towards the enemy, when Carroll heard that horrible sound again. A sound that haunted his dreams. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!———BOOOOOM! Soon enough Carroll was blown backward by the explosion. He blacked out for a moment, when he finally got his bearings. When he heard an awful sound the sound of Marley screaming in pain. Carroll looked around and saw that Marley’s legs had gotten blow off by the mortar. Carroll rushed towards Marley. Examining his body, checking for any more injuries. Fortunately Marley’s vital organs didn’t get hit. Carroll applied a tourniquet to what used to be Marley’s legs. Carroll dragged Marley to what he believed to be a safe space. And spoke to Marley. “Ok, ok, ok, just listen to me, stay here, stay down, I’ll be back, I’m going to go grab a medic. Ok?” Carroll said, trying to hide the panic in his voice. “Please. Don’t go.” Marley said weakly. Carroll grabbed Marley’s hand and held it. “I promise I’ll be back. I promise.” Carroll reassured him. Then Carroll let go of Marley’s hand and ran to get a medic. Carroll ran avoiding gun fire and when he finally found a medic. “Listen I need your help. My friend he’s hurt.” Carroll said panicked. Just as Carroll finished his sentence, he heard the commanding officer yell “RETREAT!”. And soon the medic ran back towards the trench. Carroll knew he couldn’t leave Marley behind so he ran back toward Marley. He was going to have to carry him back to the trench. Just as soon as Carroll got within 3 feet of Marley, he heard the sound again. WHOOOOOOOOSH!————BOOOOOOOM! Then Carroll saw something he would never forget. Carroll was splattered with the blood and guts of Marley. The mortar had hit Marley dead on. Spreading his entrails all over Carroll and the battle field. Carroll stood there shocked and stunned. A kid he saw as a son, just died in front of him. Soon Carroll was pulled out of this trance by the sound of gunfire and then he felt extreme pain in his left leg. Carroll had been shot. Carroll fell down and he blacked out.

Carroll awoke handcuffed to a stretcher in the medical tent. He sat up and looked around. A doctor was sat in the corner, and when he noticed Carroll was awake, he cautiously walked over to Carroll and uncuffed him from the bed. “What happened?” Carroll asked, the doctor just walked slowly out of the room. Not responding. Soon enough, the commanding officer had called Carroll into his office. When Carroll limped into the area and he stood up straight and saluted his superior. “At ease private. Take a seat.” The officer ordered. “Private Carroll Allen McMurray. I’m just gonna cut to the chase. Cause frankly we’ve had this conversation before. You attacked our medics while they were trying to help you. Now I know you’ve seen a lot of action, more action than any man I know. And with your current injury and your previous… uh problems. I’ve talked to my commander, and we’ve decided that it’s best if you go home.” The commanding officer finished his little speech. “Go home?” Carroll asked, wondering if he means what he thinks he means. “Yes you’re being honorably discharged. You’re going home.” The officer said. Carroll wanted to jump for joy, he was going home. But he then remembered all the friends he has lost. How their families would never see them again. “O-O-O-Ok.” Carroll said meekly. “You’re dismissed.” The officer ordered. And Carroll limped out of the room. Taking a look around the trench, remembering Marley. And feeling guilty. Why did he deserve to live, while a young man deserved to die. Carroll thought about this. As he grabbed his stuff, he made his way to the transport truck. He got aboard and, and continued to think about Marley, and all the friends he’s lost. And why he deserved to live and see his family, while everyone else didn’t. This was stuck in his mind all the way to the boat.

Chapter Text

It was October 1918, Carroll had just gotten done with a long voyage from France to America, and a long train ride from New York harbor to his home in St. Charles. Throughout that journey, Carroll couldn’t help but think of two things, his dead friends, and his family. He felt guilty that he was the only one out of all his friends to go home, alive. But he hadn’t got out of the war unscathed, due to the injury he got in the war, he developed a slight limp in his left leg. But he didn’t pay that much attention to it. He also thought about his family, he was excited to finally see his family after nearly 2 years. He’d missed his son’s birthday, his nephew’s birthday, his wife’s birthday, and Christmas. He couldn’t wait to spend time with them. Another thing he couldn’t wait to do is lay in his bed, take a nice shower, and eat proper food.

Gratitude. Gratitude and relief. These were the emotions Carroll felt as he stood outside his house. A house he hadn’t seen in nearly 2 years. He felt grateful that God allowed him to arrive home safely, and he felt relieved, because he no longer had to worry about getting shot or blown up. He limped up the path leading up to his house. He couldn’t help but notice how his wife’s garden looked absolutely beautiful. He hadn’t seen it so perfect. Not since they moved in. When Carroll had walked up the steps, he took his helmet off, held it in his hand, took a deep breath, and knocked.

Right now Nina was in the middle of washing the dishes, while Roark and Calvin ate breakfast. It wasn’t extravagant, but it was food. Ever since Carroll left for war, she had to take up the position as “man of the house”. She had picked up a job as a laundress, it didn’t pay much, but it allowed her to provide for Calvin and Roark. Right now money had gotten tight. They couldn’t spend much money on frivolous things, they could only afford the essentials. But her lifestyle wasn’t the only thing that changed. Roark had gotten very difficult to take care of, he had turned 13 and had gotten a lot more confrontational, and disobedient. He would disobey the curfew she set up for him and Calvin, who had turned 9. Roark would drag Calvin into his so called “adventures” which were more like dangerous stunts. Calvin hadn’t changed much compared to Roark. Calvin had remained the shy and obedient son, she had raised. He followed her rules, and was the perfect son. But he would sometimes get in trouble due to Roark. But overall he was a good little boy. Nina’s attention was soon pulled from the dishes to the front door. She turned off the sink, and addressed Roark. “When I get back, there better be food missing from your plate, young man.” Nina ordered at Roark, he hadn’t even touched his food, he was just talking to Calvin, who was in the middle of eating. “Yes Aunt Nina.” Roark said, in an innocent tone. As Nina walked to the door, she heard the knock again. “I’m coming, I’m coming, don’t get your knickers in a twist!” Nina said, slightly annoyed. She then opened the door.

Carroll heard the person behind the door fumble with the lock, then the door swung open. “Alright how can I help you.” Nina asked, her eyes not looking at Carroll. “H-H-Hey dear.” Carroll said nervously, trying to get her attention. Once Nina finally looked at Carroll, she stumbled backward,her mouth wide open, and her eyes showed that of shock. When she stumbled forward, Carroll caught her, holding her. She looked up at him and put a hand to his cheek. “C-C-Carroll, is that you?” Nina asked, still shocked. “Aye dear, it’s me.” Carroll responded, putting his hand to her cheek as well. Soon Nina embraced Carroll in a tight hug, Nina had never been this physical, not since they conceived Calvin. But Carroll didn’t complain. He embraced her, nearly lifting her up off her feet. “I wasn’t sure I was gonna see you again.” Nina exclaimed, with tears in her eyes. “I’m here now, I’m here.” Carroll replied. Starting to tear up as well. Soon Nina let go of the hug and Carroll let her go. Nina walked inside with Carroll. Carroll hanged up his helmet on the coat rack, and looked around the house, his house with just the way he left it. Everything was in its proper place. His chair was practically untouched. Soon his ears were filled with the sounds of Nina’s voice. “Boys look who’s here!” Nina exclaimed, excitedly. Calvin and Roark looked to Nina, just as they laid eyes on Carroll, they jumped up from their chairs and ran to Carroll. “Uncle Carroll!” “Dad!” The two boys yelled embracing Carroll in a hug. Roark had gotten as tall as Nina, and Calvin had gotten tall as well. “Boys!” Carroll said as he picked up both Carroll and Roark, giving them a big bear hug. Carroll wanted to bawl his eyes out, but he had to remain calm. Carroll could see Calvin and Roark had tears in their eyes, just like Nina. “I’m so glad to see you two.” Carroll said as he swung the boys around, still holding them in a bear hug. “Alright that’s enough. I don’t want anybody getting hurt.” Nina ordered, Carroll put the boys down. They clearly were disappointed. But Carroll didn’t want to argue with his wife, especially when he just got home. “Look how big you’ve boys have gotten, Roark you’re as tall as your aunt. And Calvin you’re nearly a teenager.” Carroll said, as he got a good look at his two boys. They’ve really changed since he’s seen them. He just hoped they hadn’t changed too much.

Once Carroll had gotten settled, he walked up to his and Nina’s room. The way up the stairs was difficult due to his slight limp in his left leg. He nearly fell down twice. Once he got up there, he unpacked the things he took with him, and he grabbed a change of clothes, and headed to the shower. That shower was one of the best things he had felt in a long time. He hadn’t taken a proper shower since he had left. During the war, you would get naked and either scolding hot water, or freezing cold water would be dumped onto you. You would dry off and get back into your filthy uniform. This would only happen once every 2 months if you’re lucky. Carroll was glad he could now control the temperature of the water. Carroll must have spent hours in there, cause once he got out, it was already the afternoon. Carroll had gotten in at around 9am. He stepped out dried off and got into a nice clean outfit. Once Carroll made his way downstairs, Nina had quickly made up a small lunch for Carroll. The boys were currently playing outside. “It’s not my best work, but I hope you enjoy.” Nina said, as she set down a plate. The plate held a baloney sandwich with all the toppings, and a large glass of milk. This was Carroll’s favorite dish. He soon gorged himself with this meal. Savoring every bite and sip. He hadn’t had a meal like this in nearly 2 years. Once Carroll was done, he let out a quiet satisfied burp, “Delicious, dear. Just what I wanted.” Carroll said, thanking his wife. “You’re welcome dear.” Nina replied, giving Carroll a small smile.

For the rest of the day, Carroll sat around the house reading, and had called his job, thankfully they still had a position open, and Carroll had gotten his job back. He had also been informed by Nina about all the gossip and events he had missed. Thankfully Nina didn’t ask too many questions about the war, Carroll didn’t want to think about the war, not while he’s home. She did ask him, if he did his nightly prayers, and attended some kind of service every Sunday. Which he did. Soon, it was dinner time, and Calvin and Roark had set the table, and Nina set down the food. Carroll was sitting there enjoying his food, in silence, until Roark spoke up. “Uncle Carroll, what was the war like?” Roark asked curiously. Carroll froze, then he began to cough, he nearly choked on his food. “Roark! What did I tell you about asking your uncle questions, now eat your food.” Nina ordered, Roark looked down sadly, and started to pick at his food. “I-I-It’s ok dear, the boys just curious. No problem with that.” Carroll said, lying, he didn’t want to talk about the war, but he knew Roark would probably keep asking him until he let up, so he decided to bite the bullet, and get it over with. “Well, the war was scary and stressful. I had to constantly worry about getting hurt or… killed.” Carroll said, pondering if he should have said that last part aloud. “Did you make any friends?” Roark asked, Carroll completely stopped. It was as if time itself froze completely. Suddenly the memories of his group, and Marley started to rush back into his head. The sound of the mortar that blew them up, the sound of Marley’s screams, and the sound of Carroll stepping over his dead friend’s bodies. “No. No I didn’t.” Carroll lied, “Now, can you please refrain from asking more questions?” Carroll asked, “Please just one more? Please, please please please!” Roark asked, putting his hands together as if he was an orphan begging for food. “Alright, what is it?” Carroll asked, starting to get frustrated. “Did you kill anyone?” Roark questioned. The sound of utensils hitting plates stopped, and the room went silent. Nina gave Roark a glare that could burn a hole through steel. Carroll’s lower eyelid started to twitch. The faces of every German he killed started to race through his mind, their anguished and terrified faces, their faces frozen in pain and fear. “That’s enough questions Roark.” Carroll exclaimed, his voice sounded dead, and monotone. “Please just one more, please?” Roark questioned, “No.” Carroll said, in that same monotone voice, he then grabbed a knife trying take his mind off of the faces and he started to cut his meat. “Please uncle Carroll, please?” Roark continued to ask, Carroll snapped. “I said NO!” Carroll stood up and he tightened his hand around the knife, he slammed his fist into the table. The room went silent. Nina and Roark stared at Carroll with shock, Calvin stared at him with fear. Carroll looked down, he had slammed his fist so hard, he had lodged the knife into the table. Carroll then calmed down, he was horrified by what he had done, he couldn’t help but be reminded of his father. Carroll let go of the knife, the knife standing up straight, the handle pointing towards the ceiling. “Sorry, s-s-s-sorry. I’m sorry, sorry.” Carroll said, panicked, as he walked backward and walked to the back door. He turned his back to his family and opened the door, and walked outside. Into the darkness. He slammed the door closed. Leaving his family shocked and stunned.

Chapter Text

Carroll was familiar with death, he had been around death since he was a teenager. In 1896 when Carroll was 18 he killed his father. They didn’t have a big funeral, all they did was get a coffin and tombstone and buried him in the ground. A year later, Carroll had to bury his little sisters and his mother. He bought a coffin, and tombstone and buried them next to his father. Carroll knew death was a common occurrence for everyone, but he couldn’t help but think it occurred more often with him. Carroll wasn’t necessarily superstitious but he felt like everyone around him and everyone he loved died. He wasn’t sure if it was God or the Devil or some other force killing his family, but he felt that if he made any connection with someone they would die.

Carroll soon snapped out of his thought process as the priest began his speech. Carroll was currently siting in a Catholic Church, his wife to the right of him, holding his sleeping 1 year old son, and Roark siting near the end of the bench, looking completely distraught. They were attending the funeral of Nina’s sister and Roark’s mother Sophie. She had died a week ago due to the plague. Carroll remembered when Nina first told him that Sophie had gotten sick, nearly 2 months after they had Calvin. He was concerned, he knew Sophie had problems with getting sick, he knew she was strong mentally, but he wasn’t sure if she would survive. During the time she was sick, Carroll and Nina had to take care of Roark. Ransom had left, a week after her diagnosis. Sophie, Roark and even Nina thought he would come back. But Carroll knew the type of man Ransom was, and with how angry he seemed when Carroll had confronted him before he left, he knew Ransom was not coming back. But Carroll didn’t tell anyone, he didn’t want to ruin their hope, because that was all Roark and Sophie had. And he didn’t tell Nina because he didn’t want her telling anyone else.

When Sophie had gotten worse, she was isolated and quarantined in her home. Luckily, she didn’t pass on the plague to anyone else. But it pained both Carroll and Nina to have to leave Sophie alone for extended periods of time. They couldn’t see her or even talk to her. Roark was too young to understand that his mother was dying, so Nina had told him that his mother was just really sick. Carroll didn’t like to lie, but he knew he had to lie for Roark’s sake. So he kept the ruse up. Sophie died alone in her house May 19 1910. He remembers the day when he and Nina had gotten the news. Nina was distraught, this was the first time he had seen Nina cry. And when they told Roark he ran to hug his aunt. And he cried into her. Carroll on the other hand remained silent. He had to hold himself together, and not to let his emotions get the best of him. It wasn’t that Carroll didn’t care about Sophie, it was quite the opposite. Carroll loved Sophie, not as much as his wife, but he loved her. She was a smart and outgoing woman. He cared for her, but when she died, Carroll just couldn’t get himself to cry. Ever since he could walk and talk, his father would beat him anytime he cried or teared up, saying men don’t cry. And this had stuck with him since. He knew that was a lie, but he had gone so long without crying he couldn’t even tear up. So when Sophie died, he remained quiet, and calm. He did show sadness, but he never cried. So when the funeral came up, Carroll remained silent. All throughout the afternoon service, he didn’t talk, and he didn’t cry. But on the inside he was completely distraught and was bawling his eyes.

When the beginning service ended, Nina had given Carroll their now awake son, and had gone off to talk to some of her friends, and friends of Sophie’s. So Carroll put all his attention on his son, trying to get his mind of the tragedy. Carroll soon pulled his attention away from his son, he thought to himself, where is Roark? Carroll soon slowly made his way looking around the church, looking for Roark. When he noticed one the Church doors had been opened and in front of it stood a chair. Carroll moved the chair with his legs, since he had his infant son in his hands, and he walked out. And there sitting on the steps was Roark. Roark was sitting down on the steps, observing the road and side walks, clearly looking for someone. Carroll walked to Roark, “DAD?” Roark yelled as he whipped his head around. Looking up, excited, then the excitement drained from his face. “Oh… sorry.” Roark said in a defeated tone, he turned his head back towards the street and continued to observe it. Carroll didn’t say anything and he slowly made his way down to the steps, attempting to sit down with Roark. Carroll grunted and tried to keep Calvin as still as possible in his arms. Soon Carroll had managed to sit down, and he sat beside Roark in silence. He looked around at the street Roark had been paying attention to. He turned his head back towards Roark and he broke the silence. “Whatcha looking for lad?” Carroll asked, curiously. Roark didn’t respond for a few minutes, but then he spoke, “I’m looking for dad. He said he would be here.” Roark said. 2 weeks after Ransom had left, he had written a letter to Roark. Roark didn’t let anyone know what was on it. So Carroll could now guess that Ransom had promised he would be back soon. Which he knew Ransom was a liar, but he didn’t think he would stoop so low as to lie to his son. “Oh.” Carroll said, he wanted to tell Roark that his father wouldn’t be here, but he knew this wasn’t what Roark wanted to hear. So Carroll, Calvin and Roark, sat outside the church observing the street. Waiting for a person that wasn’t going to come.

Soon enough, the service ended. Nina called Carroll and Roark, so they could leave, so Carroll got up and looked behind him, he saw Roark get up disappointed, and he slowly walked to Nina. They got into the car, Nina holding Calvin, and Carroll in the driver’s seat. Roark sat in the back, still sulking and starting to cry. The drive home was silent. Calvin was asleep, and so was Roark. Soon enough they arrived home. Carroll not wanting to wake Roark up, so he scooped up the young boy, and carried him to his room. Nina walked into the house, “I’m going to set Calvin down for sleep. You’ll deal with Roark.” Nina whispered to Carroll, Carroll shook his head and carried Roark to his room. He set Roark down in his bed and tucked him into bed. Roark curled up clutching his covers. He cooed and smiled as he move around to get comfortable, still asleep. Carroll kissed the forehead of Roark and said “Goodnight son.” And as he made his way to the door, Carroll heard Roark say something in his sleep. “Goodnight dad” Roark said still asleep. Carroll froze, he tried to rationalize the situation, Carroll’s mind raced through hundreds of possibilities. He hoped Roark wasn’t actually convinced Carroll was his biological dad, and that Roark must have mistaken Carroll’s voice for Ransom’s voice. “Yeah that makes sense.” Carroll whispered to himself. He soon calmed down and closed the door.

Chapter Text

Carroll had just turned 19 years old and had been living in an inn for the past couple months. It had been just a few months since his entire family had died and his family’s farm had been destroyed. So Carroll was really down on his luck. Luckily he managed to sell his family’s farm land and he managed to get a generous amount of money from the transaction. And Carroll was currently working multiple odd jobs to provide for himself. Farmhand, and handyman, were some of those jobs. And Carroll made enough to be able to become a permanent resident of an inn. Throughout the next few years Carroll heard about how many Irish people are moving to the United States of America, and he soon learned why. It was because of something called “The American Dream” a life where everything is perfect and you can live how you want to. Carroll never planned to leave Ireland ever, but once the rest of his family died and his entire family’s farm was burned down, he realized that he probably didn’t have a choice. So Carroll packed up his very few belongings and got on a boat and headed to America. He arrived in 1898 and it was a long and tedious process, and turns out Carroll had to live there for 5 years before he could become an official resident. So Carroll had to set up a life in America, New York to be exact, until those 5 years were up. So Carroll got to work. With Carroll being an Irish Immigrant and not really speaking the language, he had much to learn. New York was nothing like Killarney, different customs, different foods, different languages, different jobs, and very different people. Carroll was called many different things including slurs. He tried getting jobs but was turned down almost immediately. Luckily the money he saved up from selling his family’s farm and then transferring it to American currency, was enough to rent a small apartment. So Carroll had a home, and he soon managed to get a job working construction.

It was December 7th 1900, and Carroll was just arriving at work. He had been working for this construction company for 2 years now, and had gotten really good at it. As he walked into the construction site and he put on his helmet and vest, he got to work. The rain from the previous night had frozen over most of the steel beams so Carroll had to spend most of his time removing the ice. There was one part of the frame work that none of the other workers wanted to climb up, due to it being dangerously high, and the risk of slipping was very high as well. So Carroll being the most nimble and light of the group was forced to make the treacherous climb. “Don’t die! I don’t want to have to scrape you off the sidewalk!” The other workers shouted as Carroll climber higher. Certainly not quelling his fear of heights and falling. Carroll had just about made it to the part when a part of ice that was higher than the rest caused him to lose his footing and trip, he fell 10 feet onto the hard sidewalk below. Luckily a fallen over trashcan broke his fall. Carroll felt nothing but pain. “Don’t touch him.” One worker said as they stood around him in a circle. “Is he still alive?” One worker asked poking Carroll’s side with a wrench. Carroll let out a groan. His head was gushing blood, and he felt like he had broken some ribs. Luckily all his limbs were still intact and remained unbroken. “Get back!” A lady yelled as she pushed through the crowd of workers. She turned Carroll over, examining him. “Get me a wet rag. Now!” She yelled one worker ran to get it. “You’re the dumbest man I’ve ever seen!” The lady scolded him. Carroll started to dip in and out of consciousness. But before he fell completely out of consciousness, he heard an another lady come running. “Jeannine what are ya doing?” The second lady asked. “Here.” The worker said as he arrived back with the rag. And once the first Lady applied the rag Carroll completely fell unconscious.

Carroll awoke in a small little hospital bed. He had a pounding headache, and he had a thick bandage wrapped around his head. Carroll groaned as he sat up, he definitely broke some ribs. “Good you’re awake. I wasn’t sure you’d survive.” A lady with a thick Irish accent, similar to Carroll’s said. “W-W-Where am I?” Carroll asked, as he looked around. “Hospital sir. You know you’ve got to be the dumbest person I’ve ever met, I mean who climbs an iced over steel beam 10 feet in the air…” the Irish lady continued to lecture Carroll, but Carroll couldn’t help but be entranced by the lady’s beauty, the way she spoke the way she looked, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. “…you’re lucky I saved you, your buddies at work certainly would have left you to die on that sidewalk.” She finished her lecture. “What’s your name ma’am?” Carroll asked still staring at her. “Jeanine Walsh. Sir. Now have a good day, and be more careful.” She said angrily, as she shuffled out of the room. Carroll sat there, still relishing in Jeannine’s beauty.

A few hours later Carroll was released from the hospital, and he was given the rest of the day off by his boss. His boss not wanting another lawsuit. Carroll kept thinking back to that woman that saved him, and how he never got to properly thank her, so Carroll spent the rest of his day not resting, but searching the phone books, for a Jeannine Walsh. Soon he found her. It was nearing nighttime and Carroll had walked all the way to her house. Or residence, since it was a very small house, barely could be considered house. But he didn’t judge. Carroll removed his hat and held it in his hands, and He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Soon the door opened and there stood Jeannine Walsh in all her glory. “Hello Ms. Walsh, I’m Carroll McMurray and I wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow night as a thank you for saving me.” the door slammed shut. Carroll stood there, staring at the door for a few seconds before feeling embarrassed and walking away. “Well it was worth a shot.” He said to himself, as he walked away. Down the path and off of her property.

Jeannine was shocked that the construction worker she saved had the audacity to knock on her door. “Who was at the door Nina?” Jeannine’s sister Sophie asked. “Oh just that idiot construction worker asking me out to dinner.” Nina said as she walked to the living room, her sister was lying on the couch. “Well what’d ya say?” Sophie said, curiously as she rolled onto her stomach and kicked her feet back. “I slammed the door on him. I have no time for men.” Nina informed Sophie. “Haven’t mom and dad been pushing you to get a husband for god knows how long?” Sophie said. “Don’t use the lords name in vain. And they have, but I have to take care of you right now.” Nina said. Sophie had been getting sick a lot more frequently now and Nina had no time to look out for suitors. “Well, you don’t have to anymore, he came to you. Now just give it a shot. Who knows what would happen!” Sophie said making a lewd gesture with her hands. “I hardly doubt that would happen especially after the first date. And I don’t know if he’s the one, I hardly know him.” Nina said. “Well just give it a shot. Wouldn’t it be nice to get out of the house for once and do something?” Sophie asked rolling onto her back and putting her arms into the air. Nina stood there pondering. “Well I guess it would be nice.” Nina said, finally making up her mind. She’ll take him up on that offer. “Well? What’re you waiting for? Go get em!” Sophie yelled. So Nina made her way out of the house and rushed down the street. Thankfully Carroll hadn’t made it too far. “WAIT!” Nina yelled getting Carroll’s attention. She ran up to him. She stopped in front of him catching her breath. Carroll stood in front of her, looking down at her checking if she’s alright. When she finally caught her breath she spoke. “Well Mr. McMurray was it?” Carroll shook his head yes. “I’ve decided to take you up on that offer of yours. Saturday night, 8:00pm sharp, Benedict’s. If you’re late I’m leaving. Got it?” She asked. “Y-Y-Yes ma’am.” Carroll responded, nervously. “Goodnight Mr. McMurray.” Nina said as she turned around and walked back to her home. “Goodnight.” Carroll said as he turned around and walked to his home.

Carroll was on cloud 9 as the American’s would say. He felt ecstatic he had gotten his very first date ever. Carroll never went on a date before, not even when he was young. He had no time for love when he was expected to work every waking hour. Carroll didn’t have a great understanding of love, given the only relationship he was exposed to was his mother and father’s relationship which was abusive and devoid of any affection. So Carroll had to guess what a woman wanted. So he stopped by a store bought himself a suit and headed to the restaurant to book a table. Then he headed home. It was Saturday evening at around 5pm and Carroll had made his long journey to the restaurant. On his way there he picked up a bouquet of flowers and a vase to give to Jeannine. He arrived at around 7:30 just in time. He stood around watching many people walk in and out of the restaurant. He kept checking his pocket watch waiting, excited for Jeannine to show up.

When Nina arrived at Benedict’s she was expecting Carroll to be late. But surprisingly he wasn’t. He was in a cheap suit but it looked nice enough. She walked up to him and she greeted him. “Hello Mr. McMurray I’m surprised you’re here.” Nina said, as she put out her hand for him to shake. Carroll stood there for a few seconds, clearly unsure of what to do. He was obviously nervous. But Carroll soon got the message and lifted up her hand and kissed it. “Hello Ms. Walsh. I’m glad you made it.” Carroll said as he let go of her hand. “And please call me Carroll.” He said. “I brought you these.” Carroll said as he handed her a bouquet of flowers in a vase. “Oh how beautiful. And would you please call me Jeannine or Nina.” Nina said as she took ahold of them. They talked for a little bit until it was time for their reservation. They were shown their table and ordered their drinks. “So. Carroll, you’re not from around here I’m guessing.” Nina said. “Aye you’re right Nina, I’m from Killarney Ireland.” Carroll said. She was expecting an answer like that. Carroll had a very thick Irish accent, and it clearly was from that part of Ireland. “So am I, well I’m from Ireland but I was born in Cork.” Nina informed Carroll. It was nice to meet another Irish person. They talked about their childhoods, which Carroll seemed to be very vague in his answers. But Nina didn’t think much of it. Soon their drinks arrived and they ordered their food. “Do you have a job Carroll?” Nina asked, she wasn’t about to waste her time with an unemployed man. She was looking for a hard working man. A future husband. “Aye, I am. I work construction.” Carroll replied. Taking a sip of his drink. “I’ve been working it for a few years now. But I do have experience in other fields such as handyman work, and farming.” Carrol said that last part with a twinge of sorrow in his voice. Nina shook her head approvingly. Carroll seemed to be a nice hardworking man. Just what Nina was looking for. She asked him other mundane questions like where he lived, if he planned on staying in New York, but when she asked him if he had any relatives he got really quiet. “Well…. Hah… I do have two little sisters and my ma, pa they all still live in Killarney though.” Carroll said, with that same twinge of sorrow. Nina knew Carroll wasn’t telling her the whole truth, but she figured she’ll find out eventually. Their food arrived and they began to dig in.

Carroll was nervous, really nervous. Was it ok that he kind of lied to Nina about his family? What should he say when the topic eventually comes back up. Carroll had fallen head over heels in love with Nina, just because of this dinner date. He love the way she spoke, he loved her personality and she was also very beautiful. He’d hate to lose her. Carroll was soon snapped out of his thoughts by Nina. “So, Carroll are you a religious man?” Nina asked, as she took a bite of her food. Shite. Carroll thought to himself. His family never really believed in God. But when his family died he started to believe. “Well… I do believe in God, and our lord and savior Jesus Christ, but I don’t really attend church.” Carroll said, trying his best to sound as open to the idea as possible. Nina face shifted, she looked disappointed, then she spoke again. “Would you be willing to convert to Catholicism?” Nina asked. This clearly meant that if he answered no, he would probably never speak to or see Nina ever again. But if he said yes he’ll get to see her again. “Yes, ma’am, I’ll be willing to convert.” Carroll said with as much enthusiasm as he could conjure. “That’s good.” Nina said as she took another bite of her food. Great job Carroll you did great. Carroll congratulated himself in his head.

Once they were done with their food, and Carroll payed the bill, they stepped out of the restaurant. Nina was about to walk home when Carroll touched her shoulder. “I can’t let you go home alone, would you be ok if I walked you home?” Carroll asked in a very polite and caring tone. Nina thought about it. She had heard about woman getting attacked so she agreed. “Yes. You may.” Nina said as they walked to her home. She held Carroll’s hand as they walked, they didn’t speak, they just looked around, observing the city. Soon enough they arrived at her house. They stopped outside the steps leading up to her home. “Well, Carroll I had a wonderful time tonight, and I thank you for dinner. I was wondering if you would like to attend church with me and my sister on Sunday?” Nina asked, Carroll sputtered clearly he was surprised by this invitation. “S-S-S-Sure. Yes I’d love to.” Carroll managed to reply. Still nervous. “That’s nice. Oh one more thing.” Nina said as she turned back around and kissed Carroll on the lips. “Goodnight Carroll.” She said as she made her way inside. She snuck a glance at Carroll, his face was as red as a tomato, and he was frozen in place. Clearly shocked at her display of affection. When she got inside. She noticed her sister. She was making the kissy face. Clearly trying to annoy Nina. Nina payed no attention to it and headed up to her room. She hopes Carroll will stick around, he’ll make a great husband.

Chapter Text

Carroll was nervous, nervous and excited. Wait. No. Scratch that. Nervous and scared. He was scared. Nina and Carroll had recently just moved into their new home in St. Charles Missouri. This was due in fact to Sophie moving to St. Louis once Carroll and Nina had gotten married. She had met a man and had gotten married almost immediately after moving here. Nina complained to Carroll about her sister’s stupidity, and so she basically forced them to move closer to her in order to take care of her. A month after they moved into their new home, Nina met up with Sophie. They talked, and Nina invited over Sophie and her new husband over to their home for dinner. This was without Carroll’s knowledge. Carroll’s feelings were conflicted. On one hand he would love to see Sophie again and to catch up with her, but on the other hand he didn’t want to see her. Cause this meant he would have to meet a new person. Carroll hated meeting new people. Throughout his childhood Carroll had remained completely isolated from other children. It took him years to learn how to greet people without completely freezing up. Carroll had gotten lucky when he met his wife, and he was sure that luck had pretty much ran out. And right now his mind was racing through millions of thoughts. What if Sophie’s husband doesn’t like Nina? What if he doesn’t like Carroll? If he doesn’t like them will Sophie cut ties with them? Will she blame them? Carroll’s thought process was interrupted by his wife walking into the bathroom. “You almost ready dear?” Nina asked. Carroll was currently grooming himself. Brushing his tail and trimming his beard. “Uh… Yeah. I’m almost done.” Carroll said, his mind still racing. Nina gave a head shake and walked out of the bathroom. Carroll’s mind soon went back to racing through possibilities.

Carroll had just finished helping Nina set the table. Carroll walked to the living room and sat down in his chair. Grabbing a book and he started to read. Nina walked around the house checking to make sure everything was perfect. Their attention was soon drawn to the door when they both heard a knock coming from the door. “I’ll get it.” Nina said as she walked over to the door. She unlocked the door and opened it. “NINA!” Sophie shouted as she wrapped Nina in a tight hug. “It’s good to see you too.” Nina said as she returned the hug. “CARROLL!” Sophie yelled as she rushed over to Carroll who had just gotten up out of his chair. She wrapped Carroll in the same tight hug she gave Nina. “Uh… hi Sophie.” Carroll said meekly as he did his best to return the hug. Sophie soon let go of Carroll and walked over to the door. Soon everyone’s attention was drawn to a man walking into the house. “This is Ransom. My husband. Ransom this is my sister Nina and her husband Carroll.” Sophie said as she hugged Ransom. Giving him a little kiss on the cheek. Ransom was a tall gray cat with black spots, and very distinct eyebrows. “Hey.” Ransom said as he waved to them. His voice being a chill and relaxed tone. There was an awkward silence. Carroll noticed Nina gave Ransom a disapproving glare. Sophie noticed this and decided to break the silence. “Well. Now that we’re here, how bout we get ready for dinner?” Sophie said as she walked over to Nina. “Yes.” Nina said as she slowly took her eyes off of Ransom and started to walk with Sophie into the kitchen. Ransom followed behind her and Carroll followed behind Ransom. Soon they all sat down at the dinner table. Carroll sat at the head of the table, Nina sat to the left of him, and Sophie sat to the right. And next to Sophie sat Ransom. Once they got settled, Carroll and Nina held hands to say grace. But Ransom had already began to eat. “Ahem.” Nina said annoyed, trying to get Ransom’s attention. “What?” Ransom asked angrily. “We’ve got to say grace before we eat.” Nina informed Ransom. Ransom put down his fork and looked over at Sophie. “I’m sorry Nina, me and Ransom don’t say grace anymore. But we can if you want?” Sophie said, trying to diffuse the situation. Carroll sat back in silence as Nina gave a disapproving glare towards both Sophie and Ransom. “Well, in my house we say grace.” Nina said as she put her hand back out towards Carroll and Ransom. Carroll held Nina’s hand and Sophie’s hand. And Nina held Ransom’s hand. Carroll couldn’t help but notice that once Carroll held Sophie’s hand, Ransom’s face shifted to that of anger. He gave Carroll an angry glare. Carroll ignored this. Not wanting to confront Ransom at the dinner table. Once the prayer was done. Ransom asked a question. “We can eat now right?” His tone clearly reflected anger, and he was definitely asking this question not out of curiosity but to rile up Nina. “We may.” Nina said annoyed. Trying her best to avoid getting angry. They began to eat.

“So, Nina what have you guys been up to recently, well, other than moving?” Sophie asked as she took a bite out of her food. “Well, I’ve began gardening, and Carroll has recently picked up a job at the carpentry shop.” Nina said as she took a sip of her drink. “Carpentry? I didn’t take you for a carpenter Carroll.” Sophie said jokingly, clearly trying to lighten the mood at the table. Carroll thought up a response. But his thought process was interrupted. “There weren’t many construction jobs in Missouri. So Carroll took what he could get.” Nina said. Sophie took another bit of her food, confused as to why Nina answered for Carroll. “So Ransom. Do you have a job?” Nina asked, staring Ransom head on. Carroll knew what Nina was about to do. She did it during their first date. Ransom took a bite of his food and swallowed. “Kind of. I work multiple odd jobs, mainly hard labor work. I just look for job openings and take what’s available.” Ransom said. “So you don’t have a steady job.” Nina said, as she took another bite of her food. Oh no. Carroll thought. “Well they might not be steady but I at least make money.” Ransom said clearly getting agitated, he glared at Nina, Nina returned that glare. “Ransom makes good money and he can provide for us no problem.” Sophie interrupted their little glaring session. Nina backed down. Looking back at her food. Ransom did the same. They sat in silence. Until Ransom spoke up. “So. Carroll is it. Listen to any sports on the radio?” Ransom asked. “Um…” Carroll said trying to come up with a sentence. “He does, he listens to baseball.” Nina said, speaking on behalf of Carroll. Ransom stared at Carroll. They sat in another uncomfortable silence. “Are you a religious man Ransom?” Nina asked. “No. I’m not. Not a huge believer in god.” Ransom responded nonchalantly, taking a bite out of his food. Nina put down her fork. And she stared at Ransom. “You don’t believe in god?” Nina asked. Shite. Carroll thought, hell is about to break loose. “Yeah no, I don really believe in an invisible man that created EVERTHING. It just doesn’t make sense.” Ransom said, as he took another bite of his food. “You married a non believer Sophie?” Nina inquired, staring at Sophie. “Well… in my eyes it doesn’t matter what he believes in. I love him.” Sophie said as she wrapped her arm around Ransom’s. “Can you believe this Carroll.” Nina exclaimed, this time putting her attention towards Carroll. Carroll felt everybody’s set of eyes staring at him. “Uh… well. I. I uh.” Carroll sputtered. Clearly not able to form a single coherent sentence. He saw this as a lose lose situation. If he agrees with his wife he’ll damage his friendship with Sophie, but if he agrees with Sophie then he’ll damage his relationship with Nina. “I don’t know what country you think you’re in, you Irish board, but it’s America. The land of the free. We can believe in whatever we want to believe in!” Ransom yelled as he stood up. Slamming his fist on the table. This angered Carroll. He wanted to jump across that table and murder Ransom. Carroll gave Ransom a deep and powerful glare.“Ransom!” Sophie exclaimed as she grabbed Ransom, forcing him to sit down. “That’s my sister.” Sophie said, “Oh. You’re gonna defend her? She’s been giving me the evil eye ever since I got here. I’m just saying what’s true.” Ransom explained, trying to calm his wife down. Nina sat in her chair still shocked at what she was just called. Carroll had to diffuse the situation. “Now, everyone let us just calm down, before we say anything else we might regret.” Carroll explained in a calm tone. “Oh finally now you speak? You’ve been letting your wife talk for you the entire dinner. Now I see who wears the pants in this relationship.” Ransom yelled, this time verbally attacking Carroll. Carroll was about the kill him. Carroll wanted to grab a knife and slit his throat. “Now honey, Carroll hasn’t done anything wrong. Don’t attack him because you’re upset. Let’s just calm down and start over.” Sophie said, patting Ransom on the back. “Uhgggggg. Fine.” Ransom let out a frustrated sign. They sat in silence the entire rest of the dinner.

Once dinner was done. Sophie asked if she could speak to Nina in private. So Carroll and Ransom walked out of the house and into the backyard. They just wandered around in silence. The sound of the crickets chirping was the only audible sound. “Beautiful night isn’t it?” Carroll asked trying to make small talk. Ransom didn’t respond he just stared at Carroll, clearly not wanting to talk. “Why does Sophie like you so much?” Ransom asked. Carroll was surprised by the question. “Maybe… uh… because… to be honest I don’t know.” Carroll said. Carroll could think of a hundred of reasons why Sophie likes him, but he didn’t want to seem vain. “What’s your angle Carroll?” Ransom interrogated Carroll. “I… what?” Carroll asked confused. “Your angle. No man is just quiet and nice for no reason.” Ransom said. “What are you tying to accomplish?” Ransom inquired. Accomplish? Accomplish what? Accomplish being a nice person? “Um. I’m not really following you.” Carroll said, extremely confused. “Are you a maniac? Trying to lure unsuspecting victims?” Ransom asked this time facing Carroll and staring Carroll right in the eyes. “Of course not. I’m just being nice.” Carroll sputtered. “Yeah right.” Ransom responded. “Stay away from my wife.” Ransom said, in a threatening tone, as he backed off of Carroll. They wandered around for a few more minutes until their attention was grabbed by a voice. “Ransom we’re leaving!” Sophie yelled from the back door. “Finally” Ransom muttered under his breath. Carroll walked with Ransom to the back door. They walked until they reached the front door. “Well, I had a wonderful night Nina. Thank you for dinner. It was delicious.” Sophie said, as she latched onto Ransom. “You’re welcome.” Nina responded, sounding slightly angry. “Well we better get going, bye Nina bye Carroll!” Sophie said as she and Ransom left the house. Carroll let out a loud and relieved sign. “Thank the saints. I thought they’d never leave.” Carroll said. He enjoyed their company but he could clearly see Ransom didn’t enjoy his. “Me too.” Nina said as she walked up stairs.

When they got ready for bed and sat down. Both Nina and Carroll opened up their bibles and started to read. “I don’t know what Sophie sees in that man. He’s a bad man. He’s easily angered and he doesn’t believe in god!” Nina exclaimed as she snapped her bible shut and she turned to Carroll. “What do you think?” Nina asked. “Uhh… yeah honey. He’s not a good man. But if Sophie loves him…” Carroll was soon interrupted by Nina. “Good. You agree with me.” Nina said as she lay down to sleep. Carroll didn’t finish his sentence. Carroll didn’t like Ransom and he was sure Ransom didn’t like him. But if Sophie loves him, then Carroll and Nina shouldn’t worry. But one thing stuck with Carroll that Nina said. “He’s easily angered…” That describes what Carroll felt on the inside. He was easily angered and frustrated. Does that mean he’s a bad man? Carroll thought about this as he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Ever since Carroll had gotten back from war, Carroll started to rethink his life. He woke up, he went to work, he went home, he went to sleep. He woke up, he went to work, he went home, he went to sleep. He woke up, he went to work, he went home, he went to sleep. God. Is his life really that boring. Carroll thought this every day. He’d wake up, or not. He’s had trouble sleeping recently. He has had terrible nightmares about the war. The screaming, the crying, the gunfire. These were sounds that haunted Carroll day in and day out. He’s tried taking medication, to help him sleep, but no matter the dosage, he’d remain sleepless. Unresting and miserable. Miserable. Yeah, that’d describe his whole life. He’s been miserable his whole life. His childhood was filled with abuse, insults, work, and death. That was miserable. His adulthood had been filled with complaining, repressed rage, frustration, and death. That was miserable. His current life was filled with sadness, repressed rage, frustration, guilt, regret, and most importantly death. That was miserable. Carroll wondered if he would ever get past this slump in his life. Not only was his sleep interrupted, but his regular routine was interrupted. Any sudden loud noise reminded him of his experience in the trench. The sounds of his son and nephew laughing, reminded him of the laughter of the dead French children. The sound of his car starting reminded him of Bertha, his friend’s car. Everything reminded him of the war.

Recently, he and his family celebrated the 4th of July. Calvin and Roark played with sparklers, and chased each other with them. Carroll had a great time, grilling hotdogs and burgers. But this all changed when the fireworks started. He and his family sat on the lawn watching people light fireworks. WHOOOOOSH!———BOOOOOOM! Carroll nearly died on the spot. His body tensed up. His mind froze. His heart raced. His breathing stopped. Carroll felt like he was dying. Then another firework launched. WHOOOOOOOSH!———BOOOOOOOM! Carroll stood up quickly. He was gasping for air. “Are ya ok dear?” His wife Nina asked looking at him. His son and nephew were entranced with the fireworks. Carroll tried to speak, but he couldn’t. He was gasping for breath. But no matter what he did he couldn’t get enough air. He walked slowly away from his family. And into his house. He felt the welling of tears into his eyes. He looked down at his feet. No don’t cry, you can’t cry. Carroll thought to himself. Carroll looked back up, he saw the silhouette of his father. “Men don’t cry!” He heard his father say. His father’s voice sounded just as intimidating and frightening as it was to him as a child. Carroll then heard the nose again. WHOOOOOOOOSH!———BOOOOOOOOM! Carroll was reminded of the sounds of mortars landing. The smell of gunpowder and smoke, filled his nose. He could feel the smoke burning his eyes. “Please. Don’t leave.” Carroll heard as he looked at the legless silhouette of Marley lying on the ground. Carroll continued to walk around, aimlessly. Trying to keep the pain and sadness at bay. He tried to breathe. But he couldn’t. He knew he was getting air, because he wasn’t suffocating. But he still felt like he wasn’t getting air. He turned towards the stairs. He put all his strength into his hand. He latched onto the handrail. His hand made contact with the cold wood. It reminded him of the feel of his rifle. He remembered the weight and feel of it. The power he felt, the lives he took with it. He started to slowly walk up the stairs. He walked up the stairs. WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH!———-BOOOOOOOOM! The sound of another firework filled his ears. Carroll bent over. The look of the stairs reminded him of the stairs he climbed when he killed all those Germans. The sounds of their voices, their faces. The sounds they made when he killed them. Carroll pushed through this. Continuing to climb the stairs. When he made his way to the second floor. He saw the silhouettes of all the Germans he killed. Their white soulless eyes stared at him. Carroll continued. He didn’t know where he was going. He didn’t care. He just wanted this to stop. He opened the door to his and Nina’s bedroom. He collapsed onto the cold wood floor. He curled into a ball and started to cry. He let out all his pain, sadness, anger and fear. He felt like a kitten. His father was right, he was a kitten. Not a man or child. A kitten. Carroll must have cried for hours. But he soon fell asleep.

It had been a month since the 4th of July incident. Carroll hid the incident from his family. He didn’t want Nina to worry. And he didn’t want his son and nephew to worry either. What would his son think if he saw his father curled up on the floor crying like a kitten. Calvin was in a very important stage in life, he was 12 years old. He was nearly a man. He needed a good role model so he could grow up to be a good man and father. And seeing his father crying might influence him the wrong way. Carroll still had trouble sleeping, he experienced a nightmare every night. He would wake up, and would be met with the silhouettes of the people that haunted his dreams. Knowing what would meet him when he fell asleep, he would end up in the shed. Whittling and trying to get his mind off the nightmares and memories. His mental state was severely damaged. He noticed his happy and positive facade was stating to crack. He’d have bouts of anger, and frustration. The arguments with his wife, were once rare and low stakes, but they soon became common and serious. Roark had gotten in trouble at school. He got into a fight with another student that was picking on him. Calling him names and destroying his school work. Roark only punched the bully and nothing else. Nina wanted to punish Roark for getting into a fight. “He needs to know that violence is never the answer!” Nina yelled. “Well, he was only defending himself!” Carroll yelled back. They argued back and forth. Yelling at each other. Carroll wanted to break something. He wanted to hurt someone. But he didn’t. He stormed out of the house and into the backyard. He slammed the back door. He went to the shed. And he let out his anger. He growled, screamed and smashed things. Once he was done with his tantrum. He started to clean up the shed. Just like every other argument with his wife, he was the one that ended up apologizing.

2 months later after this argument, Carroll’s demeanor shifted. Carroll realized that he just wasn’t trying hard enough to keep his happy and positive facade intact. He just had to try harder. He took medicine, and this seemed to help. But he still felt miserable deep down. When he would arrive at work, before he’d leave his car. He’d just sit and stare out the windshield. Just wondering why he was doing this. Why he was feeling this way. But he would soon slip on that happy facade and clock into work a shy but happy man. Carroll tried to focus on his work. His work seemed to keep his mind occupied. Today, Carroll had just finished a 14 hour shift at work. Coupled with the fact he hadn’t slept in 3 days. Carroll was exhausted. He felt a mix of tiredness, stress, anger, and sadness. This caused his facade to crack. He went home, tired. Nina tried talking to him. But he just couldn’t conjure up the strength to talk. His son and nephew tired talking to him as well. But he just didn’t speak to them. “He’s just tired is all.” Nina would say to them excusing his behavior. She gave him a worried and angry glare. Carroll didn’t care. He just wanted to sleep. Carroll didn’t eat that night. He just went to sleep. He fell asleep within seconds, once Carroll fell asleep he awoke in the French town, he and his group had been ordered to protect. The memories came racing back. Carroll sat up from the asphalt. He looked around. The town looked strange. It looked familiar, but it was also different. It was strange. Carroll wandered around. He walked closer to the buildings. The buildings had no interior. It was just a black void. So Carroll continued to walk. The road winded and turned in a strange manner. But his focus was soon turned onto the silhouettes of the people, whose memories haunted him. His sisters, his mother, father, friends, Marley, and the Germans all stared at him. With their soulless white eyes. They soon started to slowly make their way to him. He ran. He ran as fast as he could. He ran through the French town. He’d take a turn and it would lead to a dead end. And at that dead end would be a silhouette, that would start to move towards him. Carroll continued to run. He heard the whispers of his mother and father, his sisters, friends, Marley, and the Germans. All blaming him for their deaths. “It’s all your fault!” “You don’t deserve to live!” These voices soon became louder, and louder. These words filled his head, his mind was filled with guilt and shame. Was it really his fault? Carroll thought. His thought process was soon ended by him coming to a dead end. Carroll turned around. All the silhouettes were in front of him. Slowly moving towards him. Carroll backed against the wall. And he sat down. He curled into a ball. “I’m sorry.” Carroll said through tears, but they still continued to move towards him. He closed his eyes tightly.

BOOOOOOOM! Carroll was awoken by the sound of thunder. Carroll sat up, he was sweaty and breathing hard. He heard the sound of wind hitting the windows. It was just a dream. Carroll assured himself. Carroll took a breath. He looked in front of him. He went pale. There standing at the foot of his and Nina’s bed was the silhouettes. This had happened before, but before it was just a few of them. This time it was all of them. He unfroze from his terror, and while still maintaining eye contact, he pulled the cord of his bedside lamp. The light flicked on. But they still remained at the foot of his bed. Carroll slowly got up out of his bed and walked out of the room. He walked backwards, still trying to at least keep his eyes on them. Once he reached the stairs. He turned around and rushed down the stairs. And he ran out of the house and into the backyard. The cold rain and wind hit him. His body shivered. But he didn’t care. He ran towards the shed. After a bad nightmare he always managed to calm down by going to the shed. The shed was his safe space. He unlocked the door. And rushed into the shed, he locked the door behind him. The wind caused the door to rattle and shake. And in his petrified state he thought the silhouettes were banging at the door. He slid up against the back wall. “Please leave me alone!” Carroll yelled, he could barely hear his voice because of the thunder and howling winds. The door kept banging. “I’m sorry please!” Carroll pleaded. The door continued to rattle. In the corner Carroll’s eye he caught the glimpse of his shot gun. He grabbed it and he loaded it. He pointed it towards the door. Once he turned towards the door. He saw them. All the silhouettes crowded into the shed, their white soulless eyes staring into his soul. Carroll stared back at them. He soon realized what he had to do. It was the only way to stop his constant suffering. Carroll aimed the shot gun towards his mouth, and he stuck the barrel into his mouth. The taste of the cold metal caused his body to shiver. “God, forgive me.” Carroll said. He pulled the trigger.

Chapter Text

Nina was woken up by the ringing of Carroll’s alarm clock. Nina moaned as she opened her eyes. She sat up and looked around. She looked to her side. Carroll was missing. She reached over to his bedside table and turned the alarm off. She checked the clock. 6:01am. This was the time Carroll would be getting up for work. But it was Saturday. Why would he have his alarm set? Nina thought about this for a while. She came up with the assumption that Carroll must have had one of his nightmares and went to the shed to calm down. He had been doing that a lot recently. And as for his alarm, he must have been so tired and exhausted that he had forgot to reset his alarm clock. Once she had quelled her worry, she laid back down and went back to sleep. She woke up at 8:00am. She got up and prepared for the day. She brushed her hair, she brushed her teeth and got dressed. Opened Calvin’s door and checked on him, he was fast asleep. She walked down the stairs and checked on Roark’s room he was snoring and he was asleep. With it being the weekend, she didn’t feel the need to wake them up yet, so she walked to the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast. Once breakfast was done, she went to wake the boys up. “Wake up honey. It’s time to get up.” Nina said as she slightly nudged Calvin. He moaned and started to slowly get up. She then went to Roark’s room and pulled the covers off of him. “Rise and shine and greet the lord!” She exclaimed loudly. Roark grumbled and started to curl up. “Get up now!” Nina ordered. “Fine.” Roark grumbled, still half asleep. Roark had always been a pain to get up. So she felt she wasn’t being too mean. Once the boys had gotten ready they sat down and Nina set down the plates of food. Nina was about to sit down, when she realized Carroll was missing. She got up and walked towards the back door. She walked outside and marched her way to the shed. She approached the door. “Carroll! It’s time for breakfast! Get it while it’s hot!” Nina exclaimed, as she knocked on the door. The door rattled as she did so. She got no response. She let out a loud sigh and walked away. Carroll must still be trying to calm down, she thought. She walked back inside and started to eat her food.

It was 9:00am when she had finished eating and she started to clean the dishes. The boys walked upstairs to play in Calvin’s room. When she was done with the dishes, she marched back outside to the shed. “Carroll! It’s 9 am! It’s time to start the day! You can’t hide in there all day! Now get out here!” Nina ordered, this time she was not forgiving. She tried the door handle. It was locked from the inside. That’s strange, Nina thought. Carroll had never locked himself in the shed before. She tried the door again. It remained locked. She let out a loud hmph. She marched her way back inside. She made her way upstairs towards Calvin’s room. She opened the door. The boys were playing with toys. “Roark I need your help outside right now.” Nina said. “But.” Roark said. “No buts. I need you right now.” Nina said as she grabbed Roark’s arm, pulling out of the room. She let go of him as they reached the stairs. She walked down and outside with Roark. “Now it seems your uncle has locked himself inside the shed. I need you to unlock the door.” She exclaimed. Roark gave the lock a look and stuck his claw into the lock. He shuffled his claw around for a bit until it clicked. “Good thank you.” Nina said as she opened the door. Roark had stayed wanting to know why his uncle locked himself inside the shed. When Nina opened the door, she and Roark felt their blood run cold. They gazed upon the body of Carroll. He was still in his pajamas, and his hands were clutching his hunting shot gun. They stood there for a moment, but in their minds it felt like hours. Nina soon snapped out of her trance, she quickly slammed the door. Nearly knocking it off its hinges. Roark was stuck staring at the now closed door. Speechless. Nina grabbed Roark by his shoulders, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “Don’t speak of this to anyone. Not even Calvin. Understand?” Nina said, she tried to keep a stern face, but she felt tears start to well up. Roark didn’t respond. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” Nina yelled, shaking him. “Yes.” Roark said meekly. Clearly traumatized. “Good. Now go inside the house and call the police station. Go.” She said as she pushed him towards the house. He ran to the house. She was shaken. Trying to rationalize the situation. She had to look again. Maybe she merely misinterpreted what was in the shed. She opened the door. And she walked inside. It smelled horrible. Like death. She crossed herself, saying a little prayer to God. She walked closer to body. She observed the scene. Carroll was huddled up against the back wall. Practically holding on for dear life onto his shot gun. God. She knew the gun was a bad idea. She looked to where his head would’ve been. In its place was a stump. A bloodied stump. Brain and fur matter covered the back wall. She started to panic. She needed to throw up. She rushed outside and closed the door, and she threw up into the grass. After she had chucked her breakfast, she felt a hand touch her shoulder. She whipped around. “They’re coming.” Roark said, in a terrified and nervous tone. She had never heard him talk like this before. “Good. Thank you.” Nina said as she wiped her mouth with a handkerchief. She and Roark stood there in silence until the police arrived.

Once the police arrived and assessed the situation they called the emergency services, and they loaded the body into the car. She watched as the car took her dead husband’s body away. The neighbors had come outside and started to gossip. She could hear them talking about what might have happened. She walked back inside. Roark had distracted Calvin from the going downstairs by playing board games with him. She sat down and in a chair and started to sob. She hadn’t sobbed like this since her sister had died. Her sobbing was soon interrupted by a tiny hand taping her shoulder. “Not now Roark.” Nina said not taking her eyes off the floor. “Mom? What happened?” The small and meek voice of Calvin pierced her ears. She sat up quickly. She looked around, Roark was behind Calvin. Looking sadder than ever. “Uh.” Nina sputtered, trying to find what to say. She soon calmed down. She motioned for Calvin and Roark to sit. “Ya see. Your father, and your uncle, he had an accident last night.” Nina said. “What kind of accident?” Calvin asked. Nina thought that Clavin was still too young to understand what suicide was, and she didn’t want Clavin to remember his father for a sin he committed. So she thought up a lie. She hated liars, but this was different. This was detrimental to Calvin’s life. And their family’s reputation. “He had a heart attack. He died.” Nina said. They sat there in silence. Until Calvin started to sob. He rushed to hug his mom. Nina embraced this hug. She held Calvin as close as she could. Calvin sobbed into her. She had never heard him sob like this before. Roark sat there on the couch. Silent.

As time went on, Nina tried to adjust to her new life. With Carroll gone, their only source of income was gone. Gone was his rather modest salary, that supported the four of them. She knew with Calvin growing older, and Roark growing older, they’d become more expensive to take care of. She picked up a job as a laundress. This was a job she picked up when Carroll was gone fighting the war. This income was small, and barely supported them, but it was better than nothing. She had a talk with Roark about keeping the lie of what happened to Carroll going. And how he must keep the truth a secret from Calvin. Not only was her financial situation declining but her mind started to decline. She couldn’t help but wonder if Carroll committing suicide was her fault. They had argued a few days before, and it was a very serious fight, and Carroll seemed angrier than she had ever seen him before. She thought that Carroll had gotten so upset he thought he didn’t have much to live for anymore. Another thing that crossed her mind was that her loving husband was now gone. She knew Carroll loved her more than she loved him. And she only saw Carroll as a close friend, but it still hurt. Like she lost a very close friend. This coupled with the grief and guilt she felt, mounted to a big misunderstanding. Recently Roark had began to become more independent. And Nina started to wonder if perhaps it was time Roark leave to live on his own. Carroll and her had talked with Roark about getting a job. He was 17 years old after all. But they soon realized that Roark probably wasn’t fit for any workplace environment. Anything civil and legal that is. She had recently come into contact with Ransom’s brother, who owned a farm. She talked with him, and she realized that maybe hard physical labor would do Roark some good. And this was with another family member Roark would certainly be happy to meet another member of his family. But Nina kept this idea on the back burner for now.

Right now Nina was cooking breakfast. Roark and Calvin were sitting at the table. Nina brought over the food and sat down herself. It had been a month since Carroll had passed and life was starting to settle. “Mom can I ask you a question?” Clavin asked nervously. “Sure dear, what’s on your mind?” Nina asked. “Why did dad kill himself?” Calvin questioned. Nina froze. How did he find out? What is she going to tell him? These questions raced through her mind. “W-W-What makes you think your dad killed himself? Nina questioned, trying to salvage the now defunct lie. “Rocky told me. I want to know why dad killed himself.” Clavin said sternly. Nina looked over to Roark. He looked petrified. She gave him the most angry and bitter glare ever.

Once Nina had reluctantly explained what had happened to Carroll to Calvin. He was even more upset. He was angry that she had lied to him about his father’s death. He had even slammed his bedroom door. But Nina was more upset with Roark. He had betrayed her trust yet again. She had entrusted him with information that would certainly damage Clavin. And yet he had told him anyway. Nina thought up a fitting punishment for Roark. She thought back to all the times she had to punish Roark. The times when he either hurt Calvin, broken something, disobeyed a rule, or talked back. She realized that no matter what she did Roark remained disobedient and a hazard. She realized that Clavin would be better off without him. So she contacted Ransom’s brother and she had set up a farmhand job for Roark. She helped Roark pack his things and she kicked him out of their house. She saw as Calvin and Roark embraced each other. Calvin sobbing hysterically. She stared, as Roark walked off of the property. She wasn’t completely sure if this was a good idea, be she soon justified her decision. She still felt a little sad that Roark was gone. But she held this in. So it was now only Calvin and Nina.

Chapter Text

Carroll sighed heavily as he walked into his house. It was late in the evening when he finally got home from work, he had just finished a long and exhausting day at work. He was thankful it was Friday, so he could sleep in tomorrow. He slipped off his old coat, covered in dust and wood shavings, and he hung it up on the coat rack. He then took off his hat and set it down on top of the coat rack. He walked further into his house and plopped down onto his chair, letting out another loud sigh. He closed his eyes, laid back and relaxed his muscles. “What are ya doin home so late? Ya were supposed to be home by 5. Not 7.” His wife Nina said, sternly. Carroll opened his eyes. “I’m sorry. Got caught up at work. Had to finish a couple ah things.” Carroll said, apologetically. “Well, dinners done. Come get it while it’s still somewhat hot.” Nina replied as she let out a sigh. Carroll got up and headed to the dining table. As they ate Carroll couldn’t help but notice Nina looked nervous and worried about something. Carroll wanted to ask her about this, but he decided against it. He knew he wouldn’t be much help. He was never good with feelings, and he didn’t want to pry. So they sat and ate dinner in silence. Once they were done, Nina cleaned the dishes and Carroll headed to the bathroom. He took a shower cleaning off the dirt and dust from his fur, and he brushed his teeth. Once he was done he headed to bed. He said his nightly prayer, and he laid down in his and Nina’s bed. Once he got comfortable he grabbed a book from his bedside table, he flipped through the pages and he started to read. He got halfway through one of the chapters when Nina walked in. She kneeled down and started to pray. Once she was done, she got into the bed. Carroll continued to read. He had just finished the chapter when Nina cleared her throat. “Ahem.” Carroll paid no attention to it, he continued to read. “Carroll I need to talk with you about something.” Nina said nervously. “Yes dear?” Carroll asked as he read his book. “Carroll I would appreciate it if you were to close your book!” Nina said, this time sounding annoyed. Carroll let out a quiet sigh and put a ribbon in his book and closed the book. He set it back down on his bedside table. “Yes?” Carroll questioned, turning his head towards Nina. “Thank you. Carroll I’ve been giving it some thought. And with us having been married for a few years now, and with us being quite well off currently. I was wondering if you would want to have a kitten with me?” Nina explained. Carroll froze. Shite. Carroll knew Nina wanted a family, he just didn’t think she would want one right now. “Uhh… a-a-a-are you sure? I mean, a kitten is a big responsibility. And in order to have one we’ll have to…. Ya know…. Fornicate” Carroll sputtered. He and Nina had never had intimate relations together. The most intimate contact they’ve had was cuddling under a blanket, fully clothed during the winter, when their heater went out. Of course they’ve hugged and kissed. But they’ve never seen each other naked before. God forbid had fornication. “Yes I understand. It isn’t a problem, we are married and we are both adults. Now do you want a kitten or not?” Nina replied. She said that last part in a very intimidating tone. Carroll sat there in bed thinking. Does he want a kitten? Will he be able to take care of one? What if he turns out just like his father? What if he hurts Nina or the kitten? Carroll’s mind raced through possibilities. Finally Carroll made up his mind. “S-S-S-Sure. I want a kitten. Do you want one… right now… like tonight?” Carroll asked that last part nervously. “No. But I’ll let you know when I’m ready.” Nina explained, as she laid down and turned her back to Carroll. “Goodnight Carroll.” Nina said as she closed her eyes. “G-G-Goodnight dear.” Carroll sputtered. He turned to turn off his lamp and he laid down. He was restless. He tossed and turned all night. He was worried about having a kitten.

It must have taken 6 tries, until Nina got pregnant, but it might have been less. Once the doctor had diagnosed Nina as pregnant, she and Carroll were ecstatic. Carroll was going to be a father. And he had bought plenty of books and guides on parenting. This was because he didn’t really have a father figure to base his behavior off. So he had to rely on books to fill in these gaps of information. Carroll had also begun to work on building a crib for his future child. Carroll was also very protective of Nina, watching out for anything that could possibly hurt her. Even before she was a month along, he was already helping her up the stairs. Nina wasn’t a big fan of this. They got into a lot of arguments about this. Carroll wasn’t the only one that was excited. Nina was as well. She was excited to become a mother. She was happy that her dream of a family was coming true. A few weeks after they had gotten the news Nina told Sophie, Ransom, and Roark. Sophie was jumping up down excited that she was going to become an aunt. Ransom on the other hand couldn’t care less. And Roark was still very young and didn’t really know what was going on. As time went on, Nina progressed in her pregnancy. Nina was currently 4 months along in her pregnancy, and it was super noticeable. She was very emotional, she could go from berating Carroll, to sobbing, at a drop of a pin. She had also been vomiting every morning. Carroll also had to stop by the grocery store every day to quench Nina’s cravings. He loved Nina and his future kitten, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t get irritated about Nina’s constant mood shifts. But he held in his anger.

Currently Carroll was at St. Charles hospital, pacing back and forth. Right now Nina had gone into labor. And Carroll had been kicked out of the room, under Nina’s request. He could only guess why. Perhaps Nina didn’t want Carroll to see her in such a compromising position. But Carroll didn’t want to argue with his wife, especially when she was currently giving birth to his kitten. He could hear the sounds of pained screaming, and he felt his heart shatter each time he heard her scream. He didn’t want his wife to be in pain, he could only hope the pain ends soon for her. The screaming had also reminded him of the screams of his mother when she would be beaten by his father. But he tried to keep his mind occupied. He realized he should probably call Sophie and Ransom. Nina will probably want her sister to be here. So he headed to find a phone. He finally found a phone on the other side of the building. And he called the Rickaby residents. He told the operator who he was trying to contact and he managed to talk to Sophie. She said she’ll be right over, and then she hung up. Carroll walked all the way back to where Nina was currently giving birth. Carroll sat down in a chair and just watched as doctors and patients walked by. He bounced his knee up and down, waiting anxiously. It must have been 4 hours when he heard the rapid clicking of Sophie’s very noising shoes on the hospital floor. Carroll stood up and walked to the hallway. “Carroll!” Sophie yelled as he rushed to hug him. She embraced him in a tight hug. “H-H-Hi Sophie.” Carroll said sheepishly. Ransom gave Carroll a very angry glare. In Ransom’s arms was Roark. Soon Sophie let go of Carroll. “Where is she? Is she doing ok? Are you doing ok? Did we miss it?” Sophie asked rapidly. “I-I-I-I don’t know. I’m fine. She’s still in the room.” Carroll said trying to answer all of her questions at once. “That’s good.” Sophie said as she let out a relieved sigh. Sophie then walked over to Ransom and gently took Roark out of his hands and she held him. “Well I’m glad you’re ok. And I’m glad we didn’t miss it. Just know we’ll be here to help.” Sophie said as set Roark down in a chair, and she sat down as well. “T-T-Thanks.” Carroll said as he sat down beside Roark. Ransom sat down letting out a loud sigh as he did so. Carroll was glad he wasn’t alone anymore. He was glad to have company. Even if the company came with someone he disliked.

It took all the way until the morning of the next day when the doctors finally came out of the room. “Good news Mr. McMurray we’re all done, you may go in the room.” One of the doctors explained as he walked towards Carroll. “Thank the saints. Thank you so much!” Carroll said as he shook the doctor’s hand. Then all the doctors walked away. Carroll turned towards Sophie and Ransom. Sophie was holding a sleeping Roark, and Ransom was completely knocked out. “Go ahead. We’ll wait here.” Sophie said in a loud whisper. “Ok.” Carroll replied as he walked towards the room. He opened the door and walked into the room. There in a hospital bed sat his wife. Her hair was frizzled and she looked like she had gone through a war. And he then pulled his attention to the small blanket she was holding. He walked closer to her and he sat down in a chair beside her. “Carroll, meet your son.” Nina said, sounding exhausted. She turned the blanket towards Carroll and she handed him the blanket. Carroll held the blanket in his arms, and he gazed upon the little sleeping kitten that was wrapped in the blanket. It was a small orange kitten, that looked just like Carroll. He had little tufts of white fur sticking out from the side of his tiny head. The kitten let out a small coo as Carroll adjusted his hold on his kitten. His kitten. His son. He was a father. He had a son. Carroll finally realized the importance of the situation. He was holding his son for the first time. His son. Carroll started to tear up. But he held it in. Not wanting to wake his son. “Buachaill álainn.” (Beautiful boy) Carroll said as he cradled his son. He was soon pulled out of his admiration of his son by the sound of a nurse. “What do you want to name him?” The nurse asked. Carroll was about to speak when Nina interrupted. “Calvin. His name is Calvin. Calvin Allen McMurray.” Nina answered. “Ok. Please sign here and here.” The nurse said as she handed them a birth certificate. Once they had signed it the nurse walked away. Carroll turned his attention to his son. Carroll noticed his son’s eyelids began to move, soon Calvin opened his eyes. His eyes were like small suns, his large golden eyes started deeply into Carroll’s eyes. His son began to move his arms, and he began to let out multiple nonsensical babbles. Calvin reached his small furry arm towards Carroll. Carroll reached out his hand to Calvin’s, Calvin used his small furry hand to hold onto Carroll’s much larger finger. Carroll was overwhelmed by emotions. He started to cry. His tears fell onto Calvin’s head fur. Soon the tranquility of the scene was interrupted by the piercing cry of Calvin. Calvin began to cry loudly. “Oh…. Uh did I do something wrong?” Carroll stopped crying and he began to panic. Did he hurt him? Did he do something wrong. “Here give him here!” Nina ordered as she reached for Calvin. Carroll handed over Calvin to Nina and she started to rock him back and forth. “Shh shh shh. Mummy’s here. Mummy’s here.” Nina shushed Calvin in a caring and nurturing tone. Calvin started to calm down. Carroll’s emotional state just had to ruin the moment. Carroll lectured himself in his head. But soon both of their attentions were pulled toward the door when Sophie, Ransom and Roark walked in.

It had been a month since Calvin was born, and it had been the hardest time since. Carroll’s sleeping schedule was upturned and completely destroyed by Calvin. They had set up Calvin’s crib in their room, since he was still very young and they wanted to keep an eye on him. But this caused them to get no sleep. Whenever Calvin started to cry it kept both of them up. Nina was often the one to get up to take care of Calvin. This was because Nina knew what Calvin was crying about, whether he was hungry, tired, cold, hot, had soiled his diaper, or just crying for no reason. She managed to figure out which cry meant what. While Carroll had to just guess. Carroll did help take care of Calvin, but Nina had mainly delegated him to just being the working man, the man that worked to provide for them. But he did spend time with Calvin, he held him, he helped change his diaper he helped dress him and he helped watch over him. Despite all these problems, Carroll managed to contain his frustration with Calvin. He held back his anger, and continued to be a caring and happy man. But Carroll was just happy that his son was finally here. He was finally a father and he would be the best father for Calvin.

Chapter Text

It was raining tonight. Perfect for a good nights sleep Carroll thought, as he slipped into bed. He laid down and closed his eyes. He tried to let the sounds of the rain lull him to sleep. But he couldn’t escape the feeling of loneliness. Nina had left this morning for New York to go help her parents move and she probably would be back in 2 weeks. So Carroll was all alone. The empty side of the bed being a constant reminder of this. Eventually he managed to fall asleep. Carroll was awoken from his sleep, by the sound of the telephone ringing. He tried to tune it out, but it just kept ringing. He shut his eyes tight. When the phone continued to ring he opened his eyes and checked the clock. 5:26am. Carroll let out a long and drawn out ugh, and he sat up in his bed, he looked to his left where Nina would usually be sleeping. He missed Nina. He could imagine her there sleeping, in all her beauty, his thought process was soon interrupted by the phone ringing again. He looked back to his side of the bed, flicked on the lamp and got up out of his bed. He put on his slippers and made his way down the stairs. The phone continued to ring. Once he finally made his way to the phone, he wanted to shout, yell and curse out the person on the other end of the phone, but he held it in. Lifted up the phone and took a deep breath and answered. “McMurray residents, Carroll speaking.” He said in a hostile but kind tone. “Oh good. It’s you. I was worried you wouldn’t pick up.” The voice of Sophie pierced his ears, Carroll felt worried. “Sophie? What are ya doing calling at such a time? Are ya alright? Are ya safe?” Carroll asked worried, Sophie normally didn’t call so early in the morning. He was worried that she was in danger. “I’m fine Carroll. I’m fine. It’s just.” Sophie let out a loud sigh and paused for a second. Clearly thinking up a response. “I need your help. Ransom’s at work and probably won’t be home in a couple ah days, and there’s a leak in my roof. Could you possibly come on down here to my house and patch it up?” Sophie asked, he could sense the desperation in her voice. Carroll paused for a moment. He let out a sigh and rubbed his hand on his forehead. It was Carroll’s day off today and he wanted to catch up on some much needed sleep. But he didn’t want to abandon Sophie with a leaky roof. Especially when her husband’s away. “Sure. I’ll be over soon.” Carroll said enthusiastically, trying to hide his anger. “Oh thank you so much Carroll, I owe you one.” Sophie said as she hung up. Carroll hung up as well and once he did he let out the loudest sigh he could conjure. He ultimately decided that he might as well get it over with and he headed up stairs to get ready.

He pressed his foot on the brake and he turned the keys in the ignition off. He grabbed his tool box and opened the car door. He went to the trunk of the car and pulled out some scraps of wood. He then stepped out onto the walkway leading up to Sophie and Ransom’s house. They had a wonderful house. Much bigger and fancier than Nina and Carroll’s. But that was due in part to Ransom’s multitude of jobs and their much bigger income. Carroll wandered up the walkway and knocked on the door. Just as he finished his knock the door swung open. “Good, you’re here!” Sophie exclaimed, happily. “Uhh… yeah I am.” Carroll said, they sat there in awkward silence, not knowing what to say. “Oh… uh come in.” Sophie said as she motioned for him to come in. He walked inside. Despite the grandiose facade, the house on the inside was barren. The large interior caused the furniture to look small and out of place. “Uh…I don’t think I’ve ever been her before. It looks nice.” Carroll lied, the place looked like it had been robbed, but he didn’t want to insult Sophie. “Thanks. Me and Ransom are thinking of getting more furniture in the future. Can I get you anything to eat? Drink?” Sophie questioned, Carroll hadn’t eaten anything before he left, but he didn’t want to be a bother. “Oh… uh no thank you. I don’t want to be a bother.” Carroll responded. “Nonsense, I’ll whip you up something.” Sophie exclaimed, she sounded a lot like Nina. It must be genetic to force company to eat. “Uh.. real quick where is the leak?” Carroll questioned, he wanted to get this job done quickly. “Its up in the attic, look for the ladder and then look for the buckets on the floor.” Sophie said as she pointed towards the staircase. Carroll shook his head yes and he walked up stairs. Once he made it to the attic he began work. It was a simple patch job. Once it was done he headed downward towards the main floor. He walked into the kitchen where Sophie had set up two plates of food. “Done already?” Sophie asked as she turned her attention towards him. “Uh… yeah. All done.” Carroll responded. “Come sit down. I made you some breakfast.” Sophie exclaimed, enthusiastically, as she walked over to Carroll and started to drag him to the table. “I-I-I-I should really get going. I have some uh… stuff to do around the house” Carroll lied through his teeth, trying to convince her to let him go. “It won’t take long. I promise.” Sophie said as she sat Carroll down in a chair, and pushed a plate of food up to him. He wanted to get up out of the chair and make a mad dash for the door. But his thoughts were interrupted by his stomach growling. He gave it some thought and decided to give in to temptation. “Fine, I guess I have time.” Carroll said as he took a bite of the food. It was delicious. He took another bite. Sophie sat down across from him, and she started to talk to him. She talked to him about Ransom and what he has been doing, she told him about her violin playing, and Carroll listened intently. He could tell she was lonely, like he was and she probably wanted someone to talk to. Once Carroll was done with his food he wiped his mouth and got up from the chair. “Well I should get going.” Carroll said as he walked to the door. “Yeah. Thank you again Carroll for fixing my roof.” Sophie replied, giving Carroll a smile. “You’re welcome, goodbye.” Carroll said as he walked outside to his car. “Goodbye!” Sophie exclaimed loudly, as she waved to Carroll.

As the week went on Carroll was called to Sophie’s house multiple different times. Whether to patch a hole in the wall, fix a table, install new shelves, or install new appliances, or fix the electrical. Carroll enjoyed his time with Sophie, and she enjoyed his company. They talked about their partners, and Carroll taught Sophie how to fix things. But it wasn’t all good. The constant visits to Sophie caused Ransom to get suspicious. He thought Sophie and Carroll had been having an affair while he was away. This wasn’t helped either by Sophie talking about Carroll when he was home. They got into many arguments. Insults were thrown and objects were smashed. This resulted in Ransom leaving the house in a huff. Sophie was upset. Ever since she first met Carroll she had a small crush on him. She knew Carroll loved Nina and she didn’t want to destroy their bond and her bond with her sister by stealing her man. So she hid it. She eventually fell in love with Ransom and that feeling went away. But this past week had reactivated this feeling, causing her to feel conflicted. Carroll was a great guy, he was smart, kind and helpful, but Ransom was handsome, strong, had a small temper and provided for her. She loved Ransom with all her heart, but the times they would get into arguments, she couldn’t help but think about Carroll, and how he wouldn’t argue with her. She felt that she would’ve been better off with Carroll rather than Ransom, but she still loved Ransom. What is she going to do? She lied awake a night just thinking about what to do. On Sunday she went to Church and talked to a pastor. The pastor advised for her to admit her feelings for Carroll and then it would go away. So she ultimately decided to admit to Carroll she had a crush on him. She arrived back home and called Carroll. “Hey Carroll, I know it’s Sunday and all, but I was wondering if you could come over to my house? I have to talk to you about something important.” Sophie said nervously, her hands were shaking. “Uh… sure.” Carroll responded confused. “Good. Thank you.” Sophie said as she hung up abruptly. She mentally prepared herself for what’s to come. She ran through every situation in her head, how she would tell him, and what she would do. Eventually she heard a knock at the door. She rushed over to the door. She opened it. There stood Carroll in his coat and hat. She couldn’t help but think about how handsome he looked. “Uh… Sophie? Are ya there?” Carroll asked waving his hand in front of her face. “Oh… uh please come in, sit down on the couch please. I have something to tell you.” She said as she snapped out of her trance and she quickly grabbed Carroll and dragged him to the couch, forcing him to sit down. Carroll was extremely confused. He had no idea what was going on. Sophie sat down beside him and let out a deep breath. She turned to Carroll and she spoke. “Carroll, this past few days have been great. I enjoyed your company and your help. But I have something to tell you.” Sophie stopped. Carroll’s face of confusion turned to seriousness. He listened intently. “I know you’re married to my sister and I am married as well, but I’ve had this feeling ever since we first met. It was small at first, and then it disappeared, but now it’s reappeared. Carroll, I love you.” That last part was hard for Sophie to say. She looked at Carroll, his mind was processing what he had just heard. Then it clicked. Sophie loves him. Carroll eyes shot wide open. “Uh…. I uh… I am…. Huh… uh…” Carroll sputtered trying to figure out what to say. “Carroll I need to know, do you love me?” Sophie asked, she started to tear up. Carroll slowly got up off of the couch and started to walk backwards toward the door, while maintaining eye contact with Sophie. He looked petrified. “Carroll please! I need to know!” Sophie started to walk towards him. Carroll stopped once he reached the door. His back pressed up against the door. “I-I-I-I’m sorry Sophie… I don’t.” Carroll said as he turned towards the door and he rushed out to his car. Sophie watched as he drove away in a hurry. She started to sob. What has she done?

Carroll was breathing heavy, as he shut the front door to his house. His mind was racing. What just happened? What did she do? What will Nina think? He was currently freaking out. He was on the verge of a panic attack. He shakily shuffled from the front door to his chair in the living room. He sat down and thought about what had just happened, his mind raced through questions. Did he cause her to fall in love with him? Was it his fault? What will he tell Nina? Should he tell Nina? Of course he should tell Nina! No he shouldn’t. Her friendship with her sister is already starting to crack, he doesn’t want it to shatter completely. What if Sophie tells Ransom? Will he hurt Sophie. Of course not he loves her! No. He would hurt Carroll. Carroll just sat in his chair slowly breaking down. His friendship with Sophie had just flipped upside down. He didn’t have feelings for Sophie, he saw her as a friend. His heart belongs to Nina. Soon his thoughts were interrupted by the telephone ringing. Carroll’s head shot up. He was terrified. What if it’s Sophie? He fought with himself on whether he should pick up the phone. He ultimately decided it was for the best if he didn’t. So he got up from his chair pulled the phone off the receiver and it let it hang. He walked up to his and Nina’s room and he face planted onto the bed. He just wanted to forget this night ever happened.

Chapter Text

It had been 3 months since Sophie had admitted her feelings for Carroll, and they hadn’t talked since that night. Sophie had decided to keep her feelings a secret from Nina and Ransom, and Carroll had decided to do the same. As time went on Sophie and Ransom had begun to work out the problems in their relationship, and they started to fall back in love with each other. Carroll on the other hand became more shy and quiet compared to before. He didn’t talk much to his wife, only talking to her when she initiated the conversation. Carroll’s relationship wasn’t the only thing that changed, but his feelings for Sophie changed as well. When he first met Sophie and got to know her, he saw her as his only best friend. But since that night Carroll had started to see Sophie in a different light. He hated Sophie. He knew he shouldn’t blame her, but he just couldn’t get the hatred out of his mind. He once saw Sophie walking down the street of St. Louis while Carroll was leaving work. They made eye contact and she clearly recognized him, she started to walk towards him, Carroll felt the hatred bubbling up and he felt his hands clenching into a fist, in order to avoid hurting Sophie he quickly ran away and got in his car, and drove away. He wanted to forgive Sophie, but he couldn’t.

It was Friday March 18th 1904, and Carroll had just gotten home from a long day at work. He walked into the house and closed the front door, expecting the beautiful voice of Nina asking how his day was, but he didn’t hear it. “Nina! I’m home!” Carroll shouted out, he didn’t hear a reply. He hung up his coat and hat on the rack and walked further into the house. He wandered around the house checking each room, he grew more and more worried. Where was she? Is she hurt? Is she ok? “NINA!” Carroll yelled out, his voice quivered. Once he made it to the kitchen, he saw a note on the dining table. He picked it up, it read, “I’ve gone out to have a late lunch with Sophie. I will be back at 8:00 tonight. -Love, Nina” Carroll let out a relieved sigh. She’ll be back in an hour. Carroll put the note back down on the table, and he made himself a sandwich. He wasn’t against men working in the kitchen, but he very much preferred Nina’s sandwiches compared to his. No matter the ingredients he used they just didn’t have the same taste and flavor as Nina’s sandwiches. Once he was done, he realized he still had some time alone, so he went out to the shed and got to work on his new favorite hobby. Whittling. He had started to whittle when he first got a job at the carpentry shop. But he was mainly just whittling small shapes, but as time went on he began to advance to more complex shapes such as wooden shapes that somewhat resembled animals. He was trying to improve his technique. He found whittling to calm him down and it helped him deal with stress and sadness. Nina encouraged his new hobby allowing him to spend some weekends not working around the house but whittling. Carroll was currently attempting to perfect a wooden animal trying to get it to look like the animal he was basing it off, when his concentration was interrupted by a knock on the shed door. Carroll checked his pocket watch he had been whittling for 40 minutes, it felt like it was only 5 minutes. He got up brushed off the wood shavings from his work uniform and opened the door. Nina was staring at him her hands on her hips. “Oh, you’re home! That’s great.” Carroll said nervously, she looked angry. “Yes I am. I had a talk with Sophie we decided to have a family dinner tomorrow night.” Nina said as she turned towards the house and started to walk to the house. Carroll followed her. Family dinner? They hadn’t had a family dinner since Christmas dinner last year. It was a disaster. It started out already tense. Ransom was upset about wanting to spend Christmas with just he and his wife, but Nina had convinced Sophie to spend Christmas together as a family. It soon evolved to loud arguments, mainly between Nina and Ransom, insults were thrown every which way, Carroll heard some insults thrown his way, but he wasn’t upset about that, it was when Ransom started to insult his wife that he started to get angry. But he held it in, not wanting to fuel the fire. Sophie tried as usual to calm everyone down, but it had escalated to such a height that it was impossible to calm Nina and Ransom down. Sophie soon just gave up and let them argue. Carroll started to get aggravated at both of them. All Nina did was complain and argue, and she always acted surprised when Ransom would get sick of her little comments about him, and Ransom wasn’t much better either. He had a very short temper, and could be set off with the smallest negative comment. So Carroll did something that he had never done before. He stood up from his chair, and he yelled. He yelled at the top of his lungs. “QUIET!” Nina and Ransom stopped arguing and everyone stared at Carroll. “Thank you!” Carroll exclaimed, as he sat back down in his chair. Ransom and Sophie left 5 minutes after that. Nina didn’t talk to him the rest of the night. He felt awful, and he didn’t want a repeat of this incident, but he knew there was no use arguing with Nina, cause he will always give into her will. So he remained silent.

It was Saturday March 19th 1904, and Carroll was currently scared out of his mind. He was sitting in his chair just fiddling with his hands. He didn’t want Ransom and Nina to argue again, and he didn’t want to have another outburst again. But he was most worried about seeing Sophie again. They hadn’t spoken a word to each other since that night. And he didn’t plan to talk to her ever again. Carroll’s worrying was soon interrupted by a knocking at the front door. Carroll froze. “Carroll, dear can you get the door for me please? Thank you.” Nina yelled from the kitchen. Carroll shakily got up from his chair and walked towards the door. He unlocked the door and opened it. “‘Bout time.” Ransom said upset as he walked into Carroll’s house. Ransom hung up his coat on the rack and walked further inward. Sophie was following behind him. She gave Carroll a quick glance and Carroll looked away. He felt his anger bubbling up, but he held it in. “Oh good you’re here! Come sit down, dinner’s almost done.” Nina said kindly, as she motioned for them to sit down at the table. Nina hadn’t sounded like this before. It was weird. But Carroll brushed it aside. Eventually everyone sat down and Nina brought over dinner. Once Nina sat down, they all held hands and prayed, Ransom begrudgingly put out of his hands and held hands with everyone else. Once they were done, they started to eat. Carroll tried to pretend Sophie wasn’t sitting right in front of him, but it was hard to. He gave her a quick glance and noticed she had hand on her stomach, and she ate very slowly. Carroll thought this was odd, but he ignored it. “So Ransom, how is work? I hope you’re providing a good life for my sister.” Nina asked, again in that strange sweet tone of voice. Ransom swallowed his food. “Life hasn’t been any better.” Ransom replied, in a kind tone of voice. He put his arm around Sophie and lightly shook her. Sophie gagged. She put a hand over her mouth and quickly rushed to the bathroom. They all could hear her retching, her stomach ejecting Nina’s dinner. Ransom got up and checked on her. And he returned with her. They sat back down at the table. Sophie grabbed her drink and took a small sip. “Are ya feeling ok Sophie?” Nina asked leaning in towards her. “I’m fine, it’s just… me and Ransom have something important to tell you two.” Sophie said weakly and nervously. Nina and Carroll listened intently. “I’m pregnant!” Sophie exclaimed in a high but still weak voice. Nina and Carroll sat there shocked. “How far along are ya? Who’s the father?” Nina questioned rapidly. “I’m roughly 2 months along and Ransom’s the father.” Sophie explained, confused as to why she had to clarify that her husband was the father of her kitten. Carroll sat back and decided to comment. “Congratulations.” Carroll said shyly. Ransom gave him the first ever honest smile he had ever given Carroll and Sophie did the same. Carroll quickly looked to his wife. She looked mortified. Like she had been given the worst possible news ever. “You’re having a kitten, with HIM!” Nina yelled pointing a finger at Ransom. Ransom’s face turned to anger. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Ransom asked, offended. “Of course Nina, I love Ransom. I want to have a kitten with him.” Sophie said, she looked offended and angry. “It’s just, he’s not father material. He’s barely there for you, he drinks, he’s easily angered, and he’s just not a good father figure!” Nina exclaimed. Shite. Carroll finally realized that all hell is about to break loose. “He’s a wonderful husband and he’ll make a wonderful father. It’s not like I can get rid of the kitten!” Sophie yelled slowly standing up. Nina and Sophie continued to argue back and forth for roughly 40 minutes. Ransom was now playing Sophie’s part as the person trying to calm them down. Carroll sat back and put his hand on his forehead, sighing. This always happens. “I’ve had enough! Come on honey, we’re leaving!” Sophie yelled as she grabbed Ransom and started to drag him toward the door. They slammed the door closed and drove home. Nina let out a loud sigh. Carrol was just thankful they were gone and the yelling was over. Nina didn’t talk the rest of the night.

Once Carroll realized Nina probably won’t apologize, Carroll decided to, as the Americans say, kill two birds with one stone. He decided that with a kitten on the way, Sophie and Ransom might not be able to buy toys, given having a kitten is a very expensive venture, and wanting to give them a form of a peace offering, he decided to whittle small toys for his future niece or nephew. He spent most of his waking nights working in the shed, he kept his true intentions hidden from Nina, knowing she probably wouldn’t want him to do this for them. So he told her he was working on something for a friend at work. He struggled really badly with animals, but he excelled with wooden blocks. He painted numbers and letter onto the blocks. It took him nearly 4 months to finish his peace offering, and in that time Nina had refused to apologize and neither Sophie or Ransom had contacted them, And they hadn’t talked to Ransom and Sophie since that March night. Carroll put the finishing touches on the toys and he loaded them into a crate and put it into the back of his car. He walked back inside his house and grabbed his coat and hat. “I’m going to drop off these toys at my friend’s house! I’ll be back soon, love you!” Carroll yelled as he walked to his car. “Ok, drive safe, don’t come back too late!” Nina yelled from the kitchen. Carroll got into his car and drove to the Rickaby residence. Once he arrived there, he grabbed the crate and knocked on the front door of Ransom and Sophie’s house. Sophie answered the door and opened it. She looked surprised and shocked to see him. “Carroll, what are ya doing here? Is Nina with you?” Sophie questioned, looking frantically around him. “I came here alone, I came to drop off a gift for you two…erh…I mean three.” Carroll corrected himself, he felt his hatred growing, the more he looked at Sophie, but he used all his strength to hold in back. “Oh… uh… come in.” Sophie said as she relaxed and motioned for him to come in. Carroll walked in, the house looked roughly the same as the last time he came here. The memories of that night started to slowly creep into his mind, but he held them back. They walked into the living room where Ransom was sat on the couch. “What are YOU doing her?” Ransom asked angrily, as he got up from the couch. “I… uh…I’m just…uh” Carroll sputtered, he felt intimidated. Sophie walked in front of Carroll. “He came to drop off a gift for us. Calm down honey.” Sophie said as she put a hand on Ransom’s shoulder. Ransom backed down, but he still gave Carroll a hostile glare. “Now Carroll why don’t ya show us this gift?” Sophie asked as she sat down. “Oh… uh yes” Carroll said as he set the crate down on the living room table. He cleared his throat. “I felt bad for the way Nina treated you guys the last time we met, and I wanted to make something for your guy’s kitten, since I know toys can be expensive and you guys probably already spent a lot of money on other necessities for the kitten. So I made some toys for the kitten.” Carroll said proudly as he pulled some of the toys out of the box. “Aww, thank you Carroll! Thank you so much!” Sophie said as she put a hand on her heart. “Oh I get it. You don’t think I can afford toys for my kid! Well I can, we don’t want your charity! We can buy our own toys!” Ransom yelled as he started to throw the toys back into the crate. “No…I uh… just thought this would be a nice gesture…. I didn’t mean to offend you!” Carroll exclaimed nervously. “Yeah Ransom, honey calm down. He just wanted to be nice.” Sophie explained, defending Carroll. “You always pick their side, never mine!” Ransom exclaimed, growing more angry. Sophie quickly grabbed Ransom and pulled him into another room. Carroll stood there in the living room, worried. Did he cause another fight? He knew this was a bad idea! He couldn’t hear what they were saying but he heard a lot f yelling. Soon enough Ransom started to walk towards Carroll, Carroll braced for impact, expecting to be hit, but Ransom grabbed Carroll and dragged him to the front door. Sophie was following Ransom begging him to calm down. But Ransom didn’t listen. Carroll was thrown out of the house and he fell on his back onto the hard concrete walkway. Ransom slammed the door closed. Carroll sat up, brushed himself off. Well that could have been a lot worse. Carroll thought as he walked towards his car. “Carroll wait!” Sophie yelled as she slowly walked towards Carroll. Carroll turned around. “I’m sorry about Ransom. Thank you for the toys. I’ll ensure he doesn’t throw them away.” Sophie apologized, “It’s fine. Goodbye Sophie.” Carroll said as he tuned back towards his car. “Goodbye Carroll.” Sophie said as she walked back inside her house. Carroll got in his car and drove back to his house. He felt his hatred for Sophie bubbling to the surface, but as usual he held it in. He drove home in silence. Trying to keep his cool.

Chapter Text

Carroll often looked back on his childhood, mainly while he was working or trying to sleep. He tried to only remember the good memories, like when his father would take him hunting, or when his father would take him to the pub, and he’d listen to his father and his friends sing sea shanties. But those would be the only good memories he could conjure up. But if he tried hard enough, he could remember the days where Eileen and Kathleen were playing while, Carroll was watering the crops. They constantly asked him to play with them, but he knew if he didn’t finish his work, his father would beat him. Carroll always wondered why his father was so abusive. Was it the alcohol? Was there something wrong with his brain? Or does he hurt them just for the fun of it? Or perhaps it was because of his childhood? Carroll managed to learn about his father’s life, thanks to some chatty old townsfolk. Edward McMurray was born in 1846, a year after the Irish Potato Famine had begun. In 1849 his mother and father died due to this famine. And Edward spent the rest of his life in an orphanage or workhouse. It was in 1862 when he was kicked out of the orphanage at the age of 16. And he spent the rest of his teenage life working. It was until in 1875 when Edward met Carroll’s mother, Bridget. Bridget had just turned 20 years old, and she was forced to marry Edward. 3 years later they had Carroll. From there Carroll was able to fill in the rest of his father’s life. In 1890 Carroll’s sisters Eileen and Kathleen McMurray were born. And in 1896 Carroll shot and killed Edward. Carroll remembered that night like it was yesterday.

Carroll was sent out by his father to sell their farm’s produce. Once he was done, he made his way home. As he walked closer to the house, he heard the frightened screaming of women and the smashing of glass. Carroll quickly realized what was happening, so he ran to the house, and barged in. His father was in the living room, and he was yelling incoherent words, and Carroll could smell the smell of liquor on his father’s clothes. His mother and sisters were huddled in a corner, while his father threw glassware onto the floor and walls. It had never been this bad before. Carroll knew he couldn’t beat his father in a fight, despite the fact he was intoxicated. So Carroll had no other choice but to rush to his parent’s room and he grabbed his father’s shotgun. He loaded two rounds into it, and he rushed to the living room. His father had his mother and sister backed into corner. His mother tried shielding his crying sisters behind herself. Carroll was enraged. He first aimed the barrel at his father, but he then redirected and fired a shot into the floor beside his father’s feet. BANG! Edward stopped yelling and turned his attention to where he heard the shot come from. Once Edward was facing Carroll, Carroll pumped the shotgun, ejecting the empty casing. Carroll aimed the barrel to Edward’s abdomen. “Wellllll. Looky here.” Edward’s speech was slurred, but it was still intimidating. “Edward.” Carroll said, Edward started to approach Carroll, Edward was stumbling, nearly falling multiple times. “Whatttt? Are ya gonna shhhhhhoot me?” Edward slurred, Carroll kept the barrel trained on his father. “No. Not if I don’t have to.” Carroll replied, he didn’t want to kill his father if the situation didn’t require it. “Wellllll. Ain’t ya a saint.” Edward responded, mocking Carroll. “You’re drunk, and you’re gonna sleep it off in the barn.” Carroll ordered motioning for Edward to walk towards the front door. “What? Ya think you’re such a big ssssstrong mannnnn cause ya have a gun?” Edward asked, stepping closer to Carroll. “Don’t make me shoot ya sir, now make your way slowly to the door.” Carroll ordered. “Cause, allllllll I see is a scared little kitten hiding behind a gun.” Edward said. Carroll wanted to shoot his father right there and then, but he couldn’t. They stood there in silence for sometime, before the silence was interrupted by Kathleen. “Please stop daddy.” Kathleen said, that seemed to anger Edward because he turned towards Kathleen and started to walk towards her. “Stop!” Carroll yelled out trying his best to get Edward to turn his attention to him, he had his finger on the trigger. Edward was about to grab Kathleen when Carroll pulled it. BANG! Carroll fired a single shot into Edward’s side. Killing him. Carroll stood there frozen in shock because of what he had done. He had killed his father. Carroll slowly aimed the weapon downward, until he dropped it completely. It clattered onto the floor. Carroll looked down at his hands, Carroll chuckled. He felt. Happy? Was it happiness? Or was it something else? He had taken the life of another person. His own father, and he felt happy? Carroll then looked back up towards his mother and sisters. Bridget had covered Kathleen and Eileen’s eyes. And Bridget stared horrified at Carroll. Carroll walked towards them, Bridget instinctively pulled the girls closer to her. “W-W-What have you done?” Bridget asked, terrified. Carroll didn’t say anything. He studied his mother’s face. She looked at Carroll as if he was a monster. Was he a monster? They buried Edward the following day. Carroll never spoke to his mother again after that. Carroll tired to rationalize what he had done. His father was angry and he was going to hurt his family, so Carroll did the most reasonable thing, and killed him. But what was his father angry about? What set him off?

As far back as Carroll could remember, his father was always angry about something. And Edward would take out his anger on his family. The earliest memory Carroll could remember was when Carroll was 5 years old. Carroll had just finished his studies, and he accidentally spilled ink on the floor. It was safe to say his father was not happy. Edward slapped him across the face multiple times. When Carroll started to cry, his father picked him up by the collar of his shirt, and said something that would stick with him forever. “Men don’t cry!” Edward yelled at his now sobbing son. Edward was about to slap Carroll one more time, when he felt a hand grab his forearm. “STOP!” Bridget yelled out, clearly worried for her son. Edward turned to face her, he was much taller than her and he had to look down in order to look her in the eyes. Edward dropped Carroll onto the floor. Carroll let out a silent whimper. Bridget fearfully let go of Edward’s arm. Edward stared at her, with menacing eyes. “What did you say?” Edward said as he stood to face her. Bridget trembled, she had never done this before. “I said stop…stop hitting him.” She said nervously. Edward balled up his fist, and punched her in the gut. Bridget let out a loud yell. “YOU THINK YOU CAN ORDER ME AROUND! THIS IS MY SON, NOT YOURS. I’LL RAISE HIM HOWEVER I WANT!” Edward yelled as he continued to punch and beat her. Bridget balled up and cried. Carroll stood back and watched as his father pummeled his mother. When the beating was done, Edward walked backward, and observed his wife on the floor bleeding and bruised. “I’m in charge. Not you. Remember that.” Edward said in a scarily calm tone. “Y-Y-Y-Yes sir.” Bridget squeaked. Edward walked away. Carroll approached Bridget and laid his small furry hand on his mother’s arm. “GET AWAY! DON’T TOUCH ME!” Bridget yelled out recoiling away from Carroll and pushing him, scratching his arm in the process. Carroll’s arm started to bleed, and he started to tear up, he ran away from his mother. “Wait… no I’m sorry… please.” Bridget cried out. She had hurt her son. She curled into a ball and cried. This was the first and last time Bridget ever tried to defend her son from Edward’s abuse. She turned a blind eye to the future abuse, not wanting to make things worse for herself and Carroll. Carroll resented his mother because of this.

Another thing Carroll looked back on was what his parents taught him. Unlike other children, Carroll was homeschooled. He was taught how to read, write, spell, and how to do math, but he never got more than a 4th grade education. He struggled with reading and writing, he would later be diagnosed with “word blindness”. But this remained unknown until Carroll was much older, and his family had long passed. One thing Carroll excelled in was farm work, he was very educated in the subject. This was mainly due to the fact his father quite literally beat the knowledge into him. This would help Carroll become a very quick learner in different subjects. Another thing Carroll was well versed in was family values, and role expectations. He remembers the day his father taught him the proper and appropriate role expectations. He was 17 years old and working with his father outside picking crops and planting seeds. “Sir?” Carroll said, his father Edward let out an annoyed sigh. “What?” Edward replied, clearly becoming agitated. “I-I-I have a question.” Carroll said, nervously. “Ugh… go ahead.” Edward said, continuing to plant and pick crops. “Why don’t mother, Eileen, and Kathleen help work on the farm? We’ll get much more work done faster and accomplish more.” Carroll asked curiously. “Why do ya want to know? I ain’t raising a son that can’t do simple farm work!” Edward exclaimed, as he stopped what he was doing and started to give Carroll an angry glare. “I-I-I-I just want to know why. I can handle the work. I’m just curious… that’s all.” Carroll replied nervously, he lied about being able to handle the work. The farm work his father had him do was no different from slave labor. But he didn’t want to enrage his father. “Well, if ya must know… women are weak, and frail. They’re not fit for farm work, or any hard work at all. Women should never engage in a man’s work. Women should only cook, clean, have kittens, raise kittens, and obey their husbands. Your mother does this, and your sisters will have to do this when they come of age. Men on the other hand, work, make money, protect their family, and keep their wives in line. THAT’S why your mother and sisters don’t work. Ya understand?” Edward asked as he finished his speech. “Y-Yes sir. I understand.” Carroll replied, shaking his head yes. “Good. Now get back to work!” Edward ordered sternly, Carroll got back to work. As Carroll got older and he had his own family, his understanding of family role expectations hadn’t changed much. He still believed women shouldn’t engage in a man’s work, but not because they are weak, or frail, but because it’s a man’s responsibility to care for his family. But if his wife wanted to work, he’d let her. He gave Edward the benefit of the doubt. Because he knew his father didn’t like women, but he’d like to think the reason why Edward is the way he is, is because of his background. But once he started to think about Edward’s background the more similarities he noticed between his own background and Edward’s background. Will he end up acting exactly like his father? He would lay awake at night just hoping and praying that he doesn’t end up like his father.

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Shock. Shock and confusion. And a mix of sadness. This was what Carroll felt when Nina had told him Sophie was sick with the plague. He knew Sophie was easily susceptible to sickness. That was one of the main reasons why Nina had forced them to move to Missouri. But the plague. The plague was way more serious than a severe cold. He had first learned of the plague when he had first arrived in America. He was being checked up by the doctors at the port, trying to see if he was infected with any kind of diseases. Thankfully he wasn’t. From how serious the doctors were with asking him if he any symptoms of the plague, he could understand that the plague was the deadliest disease there is. So when he was told by Nina that Sophie was diagnosed with the plague he was really worried. Though their relationship was strained ever since that night, he had never wished for Sophie to die. Especially when she has a son. Sophie was first brought to the hospital, so she could be treated for the plague. The hospital allowed for visitors, but it was extremely restrictive. Nina and Ransom were the only ones to visit Sophie. Nina visited Sophie 3 times a week, while Ransom only visited Sophie once a week. Roark was too young to see his mother, and they didn’t want Roark to get sick. And Carroll never got the courage to visit Sophie. During Sophie’s time in the hospital, Nina and Carroll were tasked with caring for Roark, while Ransom went off to work. As time went on and the days passed, Sophie wasn’t getting any better. In fact she was getting worse. She was coughing up blood daily, and she could barely breathe. Nina said to Carroll that it was like her entire body was shutting down. Carroll just hoped that her pain would end soon. Because he knew there wasn’t anyway that Sophie was ever going to get better.

Currently Carroll was sitting outside the hospital waiting for Nina to finish her visit with Sophie. They had left Calvin and Roark with a babysitter. It took an hour before Nina had walked around the corner. Carroll looked at Nina and he immediately froze. She looked pissed. He had never seen someone so angry since he had last seen his father. Nina walked up to Carroll, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him outside, all the way to the car. Carroll got inside the car and so did Nina. “Uh… D-D-D-Dear what’s wrong?” Carroll asked nervously. “Drive.” Nina said angrily. She was facing forward in the car looking out the windshield, but he could see she still had that furious look on her face. “Uh. W-W-Where to?” Carroll asked shakily. Nina turned her head to look at Carroll. Carroll shrunk in his seat. He looked at his wife terrified. “To Sophie’s house.” Nina responded. Giving him a glare. “Right. Sophie’s house.” Carroll said as he started the car and drove off to her house. They drove in silence until they arrived there. Carroll stopped the car and turned to his wife. He gulped. “Um… N-N-N-Nina what are we doing here?” Carroll asked, nearly passing out from fear. He was scared at what she might do. “Ransom is abandoning my sister and Roark. He’s leaving them. And I want you to go stop him, and talk some sense into the bastard!” Nina emphasized that last part with a yell. He had never heard Nina swear before, but he wasn’t about to stick around and find out what else she might call her brother in law. “Y-Y-Y-Yes dear.” Carroll said obediently. He got out of the car and walked towards the front door. Thankfully Sophie had given him a key, from before they had completely stopped talking to each other. He contemplated what Nina had said. Was Ransom really leaving his family? Was he about to abandon his son? Carroll approached the door and put the key into the lock and turned it. He opened the door and walked inside. The place hadn’t changed a bit since he was last here. He looked around. “RANSOM ARE YOU HERE? SOPHIE WANTS ME TO TALK TO YOU!” Carroll called out to Ransom. Carroll walked around the house, looking for Ransom. He continued to repeat his call for Ransom. When he was done checking the first floor, Carroll walked up to the second floor. He checked the rooms and he finally found Ransom in his and Sophie’s bedroom. He was packing his clothes and belongings into a suitcase. “Ransom what are ya doing?” Carroll questioned, Ransom continued to pack his belongings, pretending that Carroll wasn’t there. Carroll walked up to Ransom. “Ransom is it true? Are ya really leaving?” Carroll asked, “Yes. I am.” Ransom answered matter of factly. “Why?” Carroll questioned. Ransom stopped packing and froze completely. “Why? WHY? I’ll tell you why. My wife is dying and I’m not about sit around and watch her die!” Ransom answered, clearly enraged. He walked closer to Carroll getting up in his face. Carroll stepped backward, trying to put some distance between him and Ransom. “But what about your son? He needs you. Your wife needs you now more than ever. You can’t leave.” Carroll pleaded. Trying to convince Ransom not to leave. “Rocky will be fine.” Ransom answered. Ransom turned his attention back to packing his things. He zipped up a suitcase and started to pack another one. “Your wife she loves you. She needs you! You can’t just leave her to die.” Carroll pleaded again. Ransom froze again, his hands started to clench. “What did you say?” Ransom said, Carroll had clearly struck a nerve. But Carroll held his ground. “Sophie, your wife she loves you and she needs you.” Carroll said bravely. “No she doesn’t. She loves YOU!” Ransom yelled, pointing a finger at Carroll. Carroll froze. Had Sophie told him about what she said to him that night. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Carroll said blankly. “Oh don’t play all innocent with me! I know you and Sophie have been having an affair behind my back. That’s why you two have been acting so strange around each other.” Ransom explained walking up to Carroll, pushing a finger to his chest. “My heart belongs to my wife, Jeannine.” Carroll replied, trying to explain himself. Ransom let out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh, yeah Nina. She sent you up here didn’t she?” Ransom said. Carroll remained quiet. “Oh yeah she did. That’s because you’re her lap dog. Her little play thing. Something she can control.” Ransom said this as he walked around Carroll in a circle. “You’re not even the man of your own house. You let your wife order you around, and you let people walk all over you.” Ransom continued to circle Carroll. Carrol felt his anger growing. “You’re a weak and pathetic husband. And an even worse father. With someone as weak as yourself your son will be no different than you. He’ll be even more weak and pathetic than you are.” Ransom finished his little speech. This last sentence stung Carroll hard. Ransom insulted his son. His pride and joy. Carroll couldn’t control his rage. He balled up his fist and punched Ransom right in the face. Knocking out two teeth. Ransom landed on the floor of his bedroom hard. He grunted as he hit the floor. Ransom laid on the floor bleeding. “DON’T YOU EVER! EVER! INSULT MY SON. YOU CAN INSULT ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. BUT DON’T YOU EVER INSULT MY SON AGAIN!” Carroll yelled at Ransom. When Carroll was done yelling, he finally realized what he had done. He had become his father. His yell was exactly how his father yelled. He had hurt someone. Just like his father. Carroll had become the very thing he swore he’d never become. His father. “Oh my god. What have I done?” Carroll said looking at his hands, his fist ached from the punch. His self reflection was interrupted by Ransom groaning and grunting as he stood up. Carroll walked closer to Ransom checking him over seeing if he was even more injured. “Oh my god Ransom. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean to hur…” Carroll’s apology was interrupted by his body being flooded with pain in his lower abdomen. Carroll groaned as he collapsed on the ground. Ransom had punched him right in his stomach. Carroll was then picked up by Ransom, Ransom held onto the collar of his shirt and pushed Carroll up against the wall. “Get out.” Ransom ordered in a scarily angry tone. Ransom let go of Carroll and Carroll walked back out to his wife. He got into the car, still in extreme pain. “What happened? Is he staying?” Nina questioned, she no longer looked as angry as she was before. “No.” Carroll said blankly. He started the car and drove home. Nina tried to get Carroll to explain what had happened, but he didn’t say a word. Ransom left that same day. He hasn’t returned since.

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Carroll McMurray has dyslexia. Or during the time it was called “Word Blindness.” He was diagnosed when he was 27 years old.

When meeting Carroll, people often mistook Carroll’s name as “Carl.” This is due to Carroll’s thick Irish accent which makes the name “Carroll” sound like “Carl.”

Carroll is deathly allergic to horseradish. He cannot even be in the vicinity of horseradish without suffering a severe allergic reaction, which results in his throat closing up and his face puffing up. Carroll’s son Calvin developed the same allergies, but they were not as severe as his father’s.

Carroll often wore a fedora and a dark brown worn out coat. This hat originally belonged to his father Edward. After his father died he started to wear the hat. And after Carroll’s passing Calvin would wear his father’s hat. This hat can be seen in the Lackadaisy comic named “Correspondence.”

Carroll didn’t believe in corporal punishment. He believed that hitting children for doing something wrong was immoral and not necessary. After experiencing physical violence at the hands of his own father, Carroll swore to never lay his hands on a child. This would result in Carroll leaving the punishing to his wife Nina. Who would show no mercy, when punishing Rocky and Calvin. But sometimes she would rely on Carroll to punish the two boys, which Carroll would end up just talking to the boys about what they did wrong why they should never do it again. If Carroll felt Nina was being to harsh on the boys, he would try and reason with her so that she would go easy on them.

Nina’s parents weren’t huge fans of Carroll. They thought he was a little strange. He wasn’t what they pictured as an ideal husband. But they learned to accept him.

Carroll and Calvin often bonded over their love for Baseball. Carroll first introduced Calvin to baseball at a very young age. When Calvin was a kitten Carroll would often read to Calvin about baseball games, and their players. For Calvin’s 6th birthday Carroll took Calvin to his first Baseball game.

When Carroll first arrived in New York, he experienced discrimination because he was Irish. Carroll had an extremely hard time finding work, and a place to live. He was a victim of hate crimes, he was mugged, and assaulted 3 separate times. Thankfully once he moved to Missouri, the unprovoked assaults stopped. But he was still called multiple different slurs and insults.

Carroll is attracted to women. Specifically his wife Nina. But his love for her is mainly personal, not physical. He and his wife only had sexual contact when they were conceiving their son Calvin. This was mainly due to Nina thinking having sex without the intention to create a child is sinful. Carroll learned what made his wife happy. Nina enjoyed being complimented and praised. So Carroll would usually praise and compliment his wife for her work.

Carroll owned a Ford Model T touring car from 1908. One specifically with a back seat section. After his death Nina sold his car and traded it for a cheaper Ford Model T runabout.

Carroll at first started off as an Atheist. This was due in part to his family. Despite where Carroll’s family originated, his father Edward held the belief that God did not exist. But Carroll did believe in God, and hid his beliefs from his family. Once he had met Nina, Carroll started to openly worship God. He switched from Atheism to Catholicism.

Due to Nina’s strict Catholic beliefs, she believed Carroll was sent to Hell, because he committed suicide. Since Carroll committed suicide he wasn’t allowed a Catholic burial. Carroll’s gravestone read:

Carroll Allen McMurray

11/30/1878 - 10/21/1921

Athair grámhar, fear céile, oibrí dícheallach, agus saighdiúir iontaofa. Beidh uaigneas orainn go deo.

(A loving father, husband, a hard worker, and a reliable soldier. He will forever be missed.)