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The central tower of Neo Arcadia was rarely, if ever, completely comfortable to X.
For someone who never desired the seat of power - and yet kept getting shoved into it - the sterile-bright walls and high arches only reminded X of an ornate cage he could never fully get himself to want to be in. It certainly wasn't for lack of trying, no, he'd tried to adapt to humanity's idea of comfortable luxury! This building was really more for their sake than his. They had an idea of what power and command should look like, and the fact they insisted X have that really was not to be taken lightly. It's all a symbol of his authority.
A symbol he chafed under, admittedly, if not outright hated. The children would be used to it by the time they were adults-- the Guardians, he corrected himself, the council had been adamant that they were to be called accordingly. Still, in this small, sacred space, he could call them his children as much as he wanted.
This space being the one thing X had all but demanded to have: the central tower garden, one of the limited places greenery could still touch. This was luxury to X, and admittedly he felt guilt over it, but damn it all if they were forcing him to be responsible for all of humanity he was allowed at least one selfish choice.
Thus, he got his garden. Hyacinths in white and blue, climbing wisteria in delicate pink and blue chasing red roses up trellises, clover and moss filling in the spaces between rocks and growing steadily on the edges of the small pond by the edge. White lilies and lavender blossomed under the desert sun, casting the whole garden with a pretty floral scent.
But most important of all was at the very back of the garden, finally blooming after what felt like forever: a broad sakura tree, casting petals over the thin blanket X had settled on with a small cup of tea. His back rested against the firm bark, granting his shoulders a little reprieve from the tension he always so tightly carried in them.
"...I can't believe it's been a year," he said softly to himself, hands idly twisting the teacup in his hand as the petals guarded him from the sun. "I could never have imagined how quickly they could spring up an entire city..."
"I wish you could see it, Zero. It's beautiful - I could never have imagined a city quite like our Elysium... well, our Neo Arcadia."
X bitterly laughed, taking a sip of his tea. "I know you would have shouted down the council had you been there. They said Elysium was too "dated" and chose Neo Arcadia, instead. Can you believe that? It's a city, and they named it after a utopia full of unspoiled wilderness. You'd think for being their leader I'd have gotten more of a say in it."
"But," X sighed, "as per usual... nobody bothered listening to me and the name stuck. Axl tried to get other people to call it Elysium behind their backs, but it didn't take."
"He's doing well, by the way. He's gotten an apprentice - no, they didn't let me name him either, and if I'm being blunt I hate the names chosen for them. They're named like they expect another war. With who? There's barely any humans or Reploids left, and most of them are here."
X paused again, thinking. "They ask about you, too. Phantom, Fefnir, Harpuia, Leviathan - it's like there's never enough knowledge in the world to satisfy them, they always want to learn something new. I can see so much of you in them, too, though they're almost entirely my DNA. Harpuia - when he thinks he needs to fight me on something - holds his head up just in the same way you do. Leviathan holds her lance very much like you, too. Don't even get me started on how much Fefnir has taken after you..."
"You're going back?!"
"I have to, X. If I stay... you'll never have that peaceful world you've been fighting for."
The memory rolls in his stomach, tears welling up at the corners of his eyes.
"What are you talking about? Zero, you've fought for this as much as I have! You said it yourself, your power is for protecting the people who believe in you. It's not a threat to anyone who isn't--"
"Yes, my raw power itself IS a threat, even if its purpose is something else."
Zero had turned away from X then, back straight, refusing to meet X's gaze as he spoke. "As long as I exist, my power is something that will be fought over. Weil's little stunt with Omega proved that."
"Omega's in space now! He - that part of you is--"
"It isn't gone. It's still here. It just has a new body now," Zero laughed bitterly, still refusing to meet his eyes. "If I stay, someone with worse intentions than Weil is inevitably going to show up and try to screw all of us over again. And who's to say they won't succeed?"
"Not to mention," Zero finally turned to look at X, eyes downcast and focusing hard on a point just over X's head light he was trying to keep it together. "With the Mother Elf changing... there's nothing that can cure the virus if it reappears. Or worse, if she mutates and can spread it again - who's to say being in contact with "Patient Zero" won't give her the chance to do that?"
X didn't have a response that time, only letting Zero cross the room to put a hand on X's cheek.
"If I stay, the fight's going to follow me until neither of us can fight any more," he whispered softly, touching their heads together - an action made all the more intimate by the fact their heights were more equal in newgen bodies, Zero's eyes meeting his pleadingly. "You're already tired, X. I can't-- I won't accept the chance you have to keep fighting. I won't let you sacrifice your dream because I want to stay with you, too."
"Zero--"
"I WANT to stay, damn it all," Zero's voice cracked, pulling X closer into an embrace that X responded to in kind, practically trying to shove them both into the same space. "I'd hate every second of a world I couldn't fight in, I can't imagine knowing what I'd do with it. I could figure it out with you, but that comes with the risk that the fighting just doesn't STOP."
"I have to go," he whispered, and X tried his best to pretend that he didn't feel the teardrops on the side of his neck. "I have to. You won't be safe unless I'm gone."
A tear landing on his hand startled X out of the memory and back into the modern day, sakura petals fluttering around the garden he'd truthfully designed with Zero in mind.
Blue and white hyacinth. Sincerity, loyalty, fidelity, thinking of you. My heart is only ever yours.
Pink and blue wisteria. Affection, tranquility, peace. I love you, and I love this world we fought for.
Red rose. True love. (And, truthfully, selfishly: the color of Zero's armor.)
Clover. "Be mine". I am forever yours, as you are ever mine.
White lily. Commitment, rebirth. I will wait here for you, or I will come meet you.
Lavender. Devotion. There is no-one I would hold higher than you.
And Sakura. First love, renewal and mortality: the truth of their relationship, the secret wish X would hold in the back of his heart until he ceased to be, and the somber reality of death not being an unknown hunter to its prey.
Sitting here in the garden, surrounded by the wishes he'd hidden in it, he could almost feel himself still connected to Zero: like he was on a branch just overhead, hair catching the breeze, legs kicking idly. A petal out of the corner of his eye got him to look, his eyes briefly presenting a blond shadow on an upper branch-- and then in the space between blink and breath, nothing remained.
...He decided to believe that was Zero paying a visit and softly laughed, letting a few more tears fall: watching the branch his mind had placed an illusory Zero onto like he was feeling through cyberspace for just another second next to him. Just one, he lied to himself he could be satisfied with that.
But even that was impossible for now, with Zero gone where X could not follow and X with so many responsibilities to the humans yet remaining. He would have to be patient, he supposed, and believe that one day he too would go where Zero lay sleeping and join him under their favorite cherry tree.
He could surely manage that. Once... once humanity no longer needed a leader. Once Reploids and humans truly lived side by side, once X's only remaining responsibility was to himself, then and only then could he go to his place at Zero's side. Until then, he had to grin and bear it, record every story here to bring it with him once he could wake in Zero's arms again.
Until then, he had to keep working - not fighting in the way he and Zero were used to, but it was a bit like fighting.
(It felt like a fight, anyway, clawing his way through the grave dirt to try and meet his beloved in scarlet red again.)
(But he'd not lost very many of those, least of all this latest one.)
Raising the teacup to his lips, X whispered happy anniversary, Zero, and took one last drink before mentally preparing to go back inside and resume his duties.