Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Part I.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?”

Ben glanced over at her, regarding her question. Voe was two years younger than him, yet knighted at the same age. They had trained together and watched each other grow up in the Jedi Order’s Academy on Ossus. Over the years, she had seen the best of him and the worst of him. In other words. he trusted her discretion. She would not ask him such a question to plant doubt or because she did not believe in him. Voe, of all people, would have a keen sense of Ben’s personal feelings in this matter.

Because it wasn’t just that he was taking on his first Padawan. It was much more than that.

“I’m sure,” he said, with conviction. When he said it out loud to her, he realized how true it was. “It is the only choice I could make for him. It is the right thing to do.”

“It won’t be easy.” Voe looked down, frowning slightly. Ben already sensed the topic she was about to bring up, and he braced himself for it. Even he still hadn’t fully processed what happened on Dromund Kaas. None of it made sense. It was like he had only heard a tiny fraction of the story. Missing every piece but the very last, but it always ended the same way. “Rey has had difficulty processing it. It was a traumatic experience for him. He may never fully recover.”

“That is exactly why I’m doing this. I am the only other person who knows him as well as our Master did. If anyone can set him back on the right path, it’s me.”

Voe considered this, then nodded solemnly.

“I understand that. Rey’s always looked up to you. He trusts you, and he isn’t one to hand out trust graciously.”

He offered a small smile.

“Besides, it’s about time I finally took on a Padawan of my own. It’s been long enough.”

“You got that right.” She returned the smile. “I’m glad you see this as an opportunity instead of a hurdle. My first year after taking on my Padawan was…challenging. Not because of him, but because of me. Nothing will show you how much you still have to learn like becoming someone’s teacher.”

“How is Finn, by the way?”

Voe finally returned the smile.

“He’ll be taking the test soon. I’m very proud of him. And hey.” She playfully elbowed him. “Won’t this be fun? Our Padawans are already close, and now we’ll be training them together.”

Ben was about to reply when he heard the low hum of a ship approaching. He looked out to the front gardens of the Jedi Academy to the docking platform. His new apprentice had arrived.

Rey wiped his palms on his thighs for what had to be the tenth time.

He knew Master Solo. Ben had been there when Rey was found on Jakku and taken to Ossus. He was there as Master Luke pleaded his case to the Council, insisting that Rey must be trained. Ben had even accompanied the two of them on a few missions, and Rey had gotten to know the Jedi uncle and nephew’s bantering ways, until they almost felt like the family he had never had.

So why was he so nervous all of a sudden? Why did it feel like he was about to meet a stranger?

Finn, a fellow Padawan and one of Rey’s closest friends at the Academy (his only friend besides Ben, if he were being honest) shot him a funny look.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah! I’m fine,” Rey said with way too much energy. He said it again, slower. “I’m fine . Really.”

“You know what the Council said. If you need more time, they’ll—”

“No. The last place I want to be is back in that medbay.” Rey hung his head. He was relieved to be out of there. After Dromund Kaas, they kept Rey in the medbay a whole month, until the Jedi Council decided he was physically and mentally sound enough to be discharged. And assigned a new Master.

Maybe that was the part he was nervous about. Not the fact that Ben would complete his training, but the circumstances under which Ben had become his teacher.

Finn looked down. Rey winced at the hurt look on his face. He hadn’t meant to push Finn away. But ever since that day, it seemed to be the only thing he was good at doing.

“Yeah, that place was pretty boring, huh?”

“Ugh. Don’t remind me.” Finn had visited Rey several times, and it didn’t take the two Padawans long to grow tired of staring at empty, white walls. Rey never said it, but he had been grateful for Finn’s company during those days. It had been a nice distraction.

He did not remember much about the first days there. The painkillers dulled the memories. When he had been well enough to send his report to the Council, it did not all come back at first. Most of it still hadn’t. And every time a memory resurfaced about that day on Dromund Kaas, it was like he had to start all over again, retracing every step of it.

The physical healing had been the easy part. A concussion, a few mild cuts and burns, and a sprained ankle. It was the other kind that Rey struggled with the most. Eventually, the medical staff agreed to discharge him. But just because they deemed him well enough to resume his training did not mean the nightmares had stopped. Nor did it mean that Rey had stopped seeing that strange mist in the corner of his vision at the most random moments.

He’d tried to explain what he saw—or what he didn’t see, that is—to the Council. They still struggled with fully understanding what happened to Master Luke too, which didn’t make Rey’s lingering anxieties any easier. He was left wondering what else had happened that he couldn’t remember. He hardly remembered seeing the red mist, like a cloud of bloody sand, appear from the jungle. He definitely didn’t remember how he left Luke’s side, or how he fell into the ravine.

What he did remember, as vividly as he remembered the past five seconds, was when he discovered his Master’s body. What the mysterious attacker had done to him. The Council did not suspect Master Luke’s murderer had been a Sith Lord, but then again, they only knew what Rey had told them. And Rey’s memories of that day were still mostly muddled. As a result, they were going off of limited information. It was clear to Rey, however, that he had not seen the attacker in time. He had not run to Master Luke’s side in time. And if he had been just a little stronger, a little faster, a little less afraid, then maybe things would have turned out different.

I’ll show Master Ben I’m ready. I’ll show him the Council was wrong about me.

The ship landed on the docking platform. After the ramp extended, Finn and Rey walked out together. At the front of the Jedi Academy, where the gardens were in full bloom, he saw Finn’s Master, Voe. Beside her stood Ben.

The two looked at each other as Master and Apprentice for the first time.

“You’ve gotten strong. When was the last time we did this?” Ben asked.

Rey went in for a roundhouse kick. Ben slipped out of the way as Rey tried to play off the question casually. They spoke between blows and parries, moving about the sparring room.

“Not sure. It’s been a few years.” He shrugged, ducking out of Ben’s next offense. It was three years ago, actually. Rey had just turned sixteen, and one day, Ben happened to be at the Academy the same day Master Luke was meeting with Master Katarn regarding something supposedly too top-secret for Rey to be a part of. Ben volunteered to help Rey rehearse his drills, and Rey endured his teasing and bantering for a mere hour of Ben’s undivided attention.

“Must be right. Time goes by so fast. You’re not that scrawny youngling anymore, that’s for sure,” he said in the dry tone he always used for joking around. Ben blocked his next kick a bit too easily for Rey’s taste. Suddenly his Master wasn’t doing this for fun. His tone shifted from the playful mentor Rey had known for years to the serious, strict teacher he had assimilated into the past few days. “Focus, Rey. Your mind is wandering off again.”

“No, it’s not! I’m focused. I’m present.” Rey clenched his jaw as he blocked another wave of attacks.

“You sure about that?”

“Yes! I’m—ow!” Rey felt the wind knocked out of him. He went down to the floor of the sparring room, landing on his side.

Ben stood over him for a moment. Then he offered Rey his hand.

“Come on. Up you go.” When Rey took it, he pulled his Padawan up. “You’re thinking too much. You’re getting stuck in your head.”

“I know, I know! I can do it, I know I can.”

“I know you can too. That’s not the problem. So what’s going on? What’s keeping you distracted?”

Rey shook his head, unsure of the answer. Or maybe he just didn’t want to face the answer. After several moments of silence, Ben leaned against the wall and started to peel off his hand wraps.

“Let’s take a break. Five minutes.”

“Finally!” Rey sat on the floor cross-legged without hesitation, then looked up to see Master Ben making a peculiar expression. “What?”

“You remind me of what I was like at your age.”

Rey hadn’t expected that. He would never dare to compare himself to Ben. Ben was obedient, attentive, reckless on occasion but not without good reason. But for Rey, rules and orders, the centering of one’s self, were all things he’d struggled with his whole life. It was like Ben had been born to be a Jedi, whereas Rey was pretending to be someone he wasn’t.

Rey straightened and untied his ponytail, then re-tied it, loose strands still falling over the sides of his face.

“Really? I thought you were one of Master Luke’s best students.”

Ben pushed himself off the wall and sat down across from Rey.

“Are you saying you’re not? Is that what’s bothering you?”

Rey bit his bottom lip. He couldn’t look Ben in the eyes, a mixture of shame, frustration, and something else he didn’t want to pinpoint stirring in him. Instead he hung his head.

“I don’t know.”

Ben let out a deep sigh. A sigh that stung Rey’s heart to hear. Only days into training with him and he’d already let Master Ben down. He shut his eyes, the shame unbearable.

He thought back to that day when he was brought to the Academy. The Council had said there was too much darkness in Rey. He could not be trained—or rather, should not. To teach him the Force would be dangerous, inviting in too much power to one not strong enough to resist the Dark. Back then, both Luke and Ben had reassured Rey he could become a great Jedi. But he never quite got over the seed of doubt planted in his mind. Was he a threat waiting to be discovered?

Suddenly, there was a warmth against his palm. Rey’s eyes shot open. Ben had taken his hand in his.

“It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could have done to stop it. If it had been anyone else with Master Skywalker that day, the same result would have occurred.”

“You don’t know that,” Rey said, but a crack had formed in his voice.

“Yes, I do. Whoever was out there was able to surprise the both of you. If Master Skywalker could fall into the trap, any of us could have.” Ben began to run his thumb across Rey’s knuckles, his tone softening, as his gaze melted Rey’s insides like butter under a hot sun. “I know how hard it is to not dwell on what could have been, or what you wish had been. But a Jedi only concentrates on the moment.”

“But Master Kestis says if we don’t meditate on the past, we’re doomed to repeat it.”

“Meditating on what happened and dwelling on what you wish had happened are not the same. One advises us on actions in the present. The other only allows regret and nostalgia to linger. We cannot hold onto the past. We must learn, and then let go, and flow with the current. Refusal to let go is the path to the Dark Side.”

Did Ben know how much this physical touch let down his defenses? Did he know how much Rey had admired him all these years, unsure where admiration ended and desire began, if they overlapped, if they were one in the same, simultaneously loathing and embracing his need to keep up with Ben, to be a ‘man’ in the older Jedi Knight’s eyes? To make him proud? And that with Ben as his Master now, he had selfishly achieved a closeness to him he had always hungered for?

Did he know that, in his darkest moments, Rey found himself not just seeing Ben being his new Master as the silver lining to the loss of Skywalker, but as a reward? That, despite the grief and horror of that day, he did not necessarily wish it had ended differently? That he felt a slight gratitude that the assassin gave him the gift of training under Ben once he came of age?

That he might even be glad Skywalker died, so Ben could take his place?

“I know. I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like a hot, suffocating cloak, and I can’t take it off, no matter how hard I pull.”

It couldn’t be true. Rey told himself that when he couldn’t sleep, or when he was supposed to be meditating. He wasn’t actually happy that Master Skywalker was killed…was he? That was just his mind coming up with ways to cope with the trauma, as they explained to him back in the medbay. Right?

And yet, Ben was sitting close to him in a way he otherwise never would have, sweat exchanged in their tense sparring and drying on each other’s bodies, faces flushed. On the precipice of finally getting Ben’s full attention. Here Rey was, being trained by someone who had shaped and developed his idea of what kind of man he wanted to be one day. He had gotten what he wanted.

It made him wonder if, had he had the chance to save his Master that day, would he have done it? Surely, on a subconscious level, Rey knew Ben would be the only one who’d volunteer to replace him. After all, it was Luke and Ben who insisted he be trained until the Council finally agreed to it; therefore, the duty of seeing him through to Knighthood would fall to Ben should something happen to Luke.

Did that mean that, somewhere deep down, Rey had wanted it to happen?

Ben reached up and brushed away a tear Rey didn’t know he had shed. His hand stayed, cupping Rey’s cheek. Rey found himself leaning into his touch, drinking up the warmth from his body like he was parched. The dark thoughts plaguing his mind wilted away the longer Ben touched him.

“You went through an extreme hardship. We don’t just recover from something like that overnight. Even if we’re Jedi.” Ben smiled sadly. “Trust me, I get it. That’s why I’m here. I’ll help you. One step at a time.”

Rey hesitated. Then he put his hand over Ben’s.

“I’m trying not to feel afraid.”

“I think that’s part of the problem. When we hold in our feelings, they will fester inside us. It’s like trying to keep a wild animal cornered. Sooner or later, it will break free. It is better to let your feelings flow through you. Your feelings will connect you to the Force. They will guide you. Do not be afraid of them. Let yourself feel, no matter what it is.” Ben straightened. “Let’s practice. What do you feel right now? There is no wrong answer.”

Rey laced his fingers between Ben’s. He saw a slight frown crease his Master’s forehead. Confusion, maybe?

“Right now, with you, I feel calm. Tired from our sparring, but…a good tired.”

“Good.” Ben pulled his hand away.

Rey let go, but he noticed Ben’s hesitation. As if he hadn’t wanted to. He clasped his hands in his lap and grinned at his Master, getting an idea.

“And what do you feel right now, Master?”

“Me?” Ben smiled, appearing taken aback but amused at the question. Rey took that as a win, especially when he started to answer. “I suppose…I feel sadness for what you went through on Dromund Kaas. I feel the pain and sorrow of losing my uncle, even though he is one with the Force now and should not be mourned. But I also feel your strength in the Force. I feel your resolve. I can feel that you want to become a great Jedi. It is my purpose as your teacher to see that you do.”

Rey took in his words, staring at him. He inched a bit closer. Ben did not move, but he did not stop Rey either. Was it possible he, too, desired this closeness?

“I’ll try to learn everything you teach me. I’ll do my best. You won’t be disappointed,” Rey said, and he meant it.

No. It isn’t true. It’s my mind coping with it, just like the doctor said. I loved Master Luke. I would never let him die just so I could get closer to Ben, and I’m not happy he died. That’s not me.

I’m better than that.

Chapter Text

Part II.

The Council discussed it on-and-off for weeks. A few members, notably Masters Tionne Solusar and Cal Kestis, insisted that Ben take Rey back to Dromund Kaas to lead a full investigation.

It was one thing if the enemy had been Imperial remnants, or New Republic extremists who felt the galaxy had no place for Jedi anymore. But this was an unseen enemy. One who had murdered Luke by impaling his body on a broken tree limb, and appeared as a vapor that led Rey to the ravine where he fell. No evidence of the Sith’s return, no blaster marks, no signs of a struggle, like this had been easy for it.

So Ben knew what they were going to ask of him when he was summoned to the Council a few weeks into Rey’s training. He knew, and so he spent the whole morning in meditation, calming his spirit and preparing for what he would have to say. The case he would have to plead.

They wasted no time as soon as Ben entered the chambers.

“The Council has put it to a vote. You will return to Dromund Kaas with your Padawan to find the assassin,” said Master Kestis.

“If I may, I feel that Rey is not ready. He is still recovering from the attack.” Ben tried to release his anger, but it was easier said than done. Sometimes it seemed like he was the only one on Rey’s side. The only one who understood him. His fear, anger, anxieties, his troubled life before he was brought to the Academy. It was common knowledge in the Order that Rey was an orphan. But no one had seen how Luke and Ben found him: half-starved, laboring day and night in Jakku’s sand-covered shipwrecks for scraps of food, so terrified of strangers that he had tried attacking Ben with his staff when they first met. An angry, violent boy forced to grow up too fast, yet still as frightened and lonely as the child whose parents sold him. Now Ben was the only person in the galaxy who held Rey’s troubled past with him. He did not take that responsibility lightly. “You know he was almost killed. Whatever was in that jungle nearly took him too.”

“That is why you must go back. He is the only one who can help us track down the killer,” said Master Bridger.

“His memories are clouded. He’s told me everything he remembers. What more can the boy do?” Ben held back a wince. That second part was a lie. He knew Rey hadn’t shared all his memories from the encounter. But why should he? Rey lost his Master. He was wounded and hospitalized. So Ben had backed off on asking about it. And when the time came, he insisted to the Council that there was no reason to pry Rey about it anymore. A lie, yes, but one that protected Rey. A lie that shielded him from having to resurface memories that would only cause him more pain and set him back on his recovery.

Ben almost knew exactly what his sister was going to say before she said it.

“A return to the planet could jog your Padawan’s memory. Rey cannot fully recover from his experience if he does not directly confront it.”

“I don’t think—”

“Ben. I understand your hesitation. You have your Padawan’s best interest in mind, as you should. With your guidance, he will confront this unknown assassin, and he will help us find out who is responsible. You said yourself that if anyone could set him back on the right path, it was you. This is your duty to him as his Master.”

He hated when Jaina was right.

“Why can’t the Council do it themselves if they think it’s so important? It’s not fair,” Rey said when Ben told him the news of their mission. His Padawan was trembling. He wasn’t just nervous. He was terrified.

Without thinking twice, Ben grabbed Rey by the shoulders. Before the boy could resist, Ben pulled him into a hug, resting Rey’s head against his chest.

“It has to be just the two of us. They’re worried that too many Jedi will frighten off the intruder and we’ll lose any chance of finding it. We’ll do this together. And I won’t let you out of my sight for one second, okay? I’ll protect you.”

“You promise?” Rey’s voice was muffled against his Jedi robe. He sounded so much smaller.

“I promise.”

As they began their descent into the atmosphere, Ben turned to his Padawan. Rey looked back at him with a grim expression.

“You feel that, Master? Luke and I felt it too when we landed.”

“The Dark Side is strong here.” Ben knew this planet had a long history with the Sith going back thousands of years, to the days of the Sith Empire and the Jedi Civil War. According to Luke, the Dark Side’s corruption on the planet was the main cause for the powerful thunderstorms in the northern hemisphere, and the hurricanes in the southern hemisphere almost entirely made up of ocean. Dromund Kaas was also uninhabited, with no records of sentient settlements, a wild world of jungles and marshes. It had made the assassin’s appearance all the more unexpected.

“Very strong. It feels heavy. Like a fog or a blanket…” Rey gripped both sides of the chair.

“Don’t worry. We have each other. The Light Side is always stronger,” Ben said. But even now, he could feel the echoes of the Sith’s presence within this planet, echoes of a time thousands of years ago, yet reaching so deep they could still be felt all these generations later. But it wasn’t that part that frightened him.

What frightened him was that he hadn’t expected the Dark to feel so… calm .

It wasn’t the cold all over the ruins of Fortress Vader, or the jabbing pain from the Sith holocron he found on Malachor. It was soothing. Like a warm campfire after a long day, the spice of an exquisite hard liquor on the back of your throat. The first touch of someone lying in bed beside you. The brush of a lover’s lips against the nape of your neck.

They flew north. Deep within the wilderness, ruins of ancient Sith temples were hidden away, hence why Luke had traveled to this planet. He came here to find one of them in the hopes it would help them learn more about their old enemy. This time, Ben decided they would not try finding any such ruins. If such temples existed, he preferred to stay far away.

They landed in the nearest clearing from where the attack had happened, about forty kilometers. The forest was too thick and treacherous for ships or speeders, leaving them no choice but to continue on foot. Ben secured the ship, and they set out into the jungle. Hoping it would lighten the mood, Ben glanced over his shoulder at Rey as he adjusted his backpack straps.

“Think you can keep up?”

“Uh, obviously? I’ve already been in this jungle, and you haven’t.” Rey hurried after him before skipping several paces ahead. “Can you keep up?”

Good to know his Padawan was still in high spirits. For now.

They hiked for the rest of the day, keeping an eye out for dangerous creatures. Dianoga, maliocs, swamp slugs, plus all the giant insects known to swarm habitats like this. With less than an hour of daylight left, it began to rain, and they were caught in it with little warning. Quickly, they found a small cave to dry off. As Ben set up camp inside, Rey dug around for wood dry enough to burn. Soon, they had a small fire going at the cave’s entrance. From the corner of his eye, Ben watched as Rey stripped down to his undergarments and laid his soaking wet robes out to dry inside.

Six years gone, just like that. He had grown up right before Ben’s eyes. It just hadn’t been apparent until Ben began spending every day with him as opposed to passing glances at the Academy. Seeing Rey now was like seeing him for the first time. At least that was how it felt. Rey was a young man. Tall, strong, still holding onto the impulsive, reckless nature of his youth but with new depths that could only come from lived experience. Ben had noticed Rey’s considerable strength during their sparring, so it did not surprise him. But now, seeing Rey like this, his near-naked body illuminated by the campfire…Ben found his eyes wandering places it had never gone before. The patterns of freckles on suntanned skin, the long dark hair falling down his shoulders, the curve of his spine, the shadows of his bicep and thigh muscles…

Ben looked away. He was just tired. Tired on a remote planet teeming with the Dark Side. No wonder he was getting distracted. He had to focus on the mission.

Somehow, he had thought that taking Rey as his Padawan would change nothing about their relationship, since they were already so close. In truth, it seemed everything could change.

Rey slipped into a light spare tunic, then knelt in front of the fire.

“Master? Do you remember when we went on that mission to D’Qar with Skywalker, Voe, and Finn? That was kind of like this, wasn’t it?”

“I suppose. Pretty sure this rain is heavier.” Ben held his hand out.

“No way. That was heavy rain too. Don’t you remember? My boots got all wet and ruined.” Rey looked at him. “You know, I feel way better after changing. You should too. If you sleep in wet clothes you’ll get sick.”

“Jedi don’t get sick,” he said dryly. But he took Rey’s advice and stood off to the side to peel off his wet clothes. As he did, Ben felt the Padawan’s eyes on him too. He sensed Rey’s gaze lingering on him, taking in the sight of him without his tunic on. Then, suddenly, Rey turned away, and hastily searched for something to do so he did not see his Master in a total state of undress. When he finished changing, he sat back down in front of the fire.

“You’re right. This does feel better.”

“See? Told you.” Rey smiled smugly. A trace of blush lingered on his cheeks.

There was no reason to feel shame or shyness around each other. That was never a part of their relationship. So why now? What had introduced itself that hadn’t been there mere weeks ago?

That same feeling followed Ben the next morning. He watched Rey pull back his hair in a ponytail, fasten on his belt and boots, but he said nothing. Only let his gaze linger on Rey’s bare shoulders and arms before he finished packing up.

The day was long and difficult. Before noon, they were both drenched from the high humidity and exertion. They had also had to kill a couple maliocs that tried to attack them. Ben didn’t want to harm any wildlife unnecessarily, but Rey tried scaring them off and thus provoked them into violence, so they had no choice. He almost gave Rey a hard time for that, but he let it go this time. After all, this was where it happened. He would give Rey extra grace and patience for this mission.

Something else was happening too, which Ben did not fully realize until their second night on Dromund Kaas. The deeper they ventured into the wilds, the less daylight they could see. More creatures seemed to stir just out of eyesight, tiny eyes blinking and hungry, wet mouths churning before they scampered away. The treetops were growing thicker, more vegetation filling the swamps, but most of all, the trees themselves were getting bigger. They loomed like giants, until they just barely see hints of the gray, cloudy skies up above. The closer they moved towards the assassin, the more the jungle seemed to swallow them whole.

No rain tonight, thank the stars. They’d dealt with more than enough of that the past two days.

Rey pitched his tent on one side of their campfire, Ben on the other. Wary of the constant risk of another storm, they made camp on higher ground to avoid the swamps. They had a light dinner, mixing their rations with meat from a pharple Rey hunted that afternoon. As they ate, Rey listened to the sound of the animals in the darkness where he couldn’t see. They used to unnerve him, especially his first time here. Now he saw them for what it was: a reminder that life still thrived on Dromund Kaas. Even a planet so strong in the Dark Side, and with such a violent history, was not totally lifeless or empty. That thought comforted him.

“Do you think we’re getting closer to it?” Rey asked him.

“I was going to ask you the same thing. Tomorrow we should be able to reach the spot where…where Master Skywalker fell. Do you feel anything that reminds you of that day? Does anything look familiar?”

“No. Just the same darkness.”

Ben was looking at him closely.

“You haven’t talked much about what it’s been like, coming back here. I know it can’t be easy. But if it’s hard on you—”

“No. I don’t think so.” Rey shrugged with a mouthful of food. “I actually feel fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” Rey smiled at him, relieved he didn’t have to lie this time. “I thought I would be struggling as soon as we came back here, but…I don’t feel that at all. I feel calm. Grounded. All I feel is how humid it is and how tired I am from walking.”

“Yeah, me too. I see why no one wants to live here.” Ben wiped his hand across his drenched brow. After a few more bites, he slowly stood. “We should turn in. We’ll set out first thing in the morning.”

“Yes, Master. I’ll be in soon. I’m going to watch the campfire a little longer.”

Ben did not question him. Rey watched him slip into his tent and turn on his lantern. The silhouette of him removed his robes, folded them neatly, and sat down to meditate. Rey was grateful Ben hadn’t insisted he go to bed like some youngling, not the way Master Skywalker would have done. Ben didn’t push him around or talk down to him. He was strict, sure, and he had his set ways of doing things. But since they landed on Dromund Kaas, Rey couldn’t think of a single time Ben had berated him like Master Skywalker always had. It felt more like Ben saw him as a peer. Was it because of what Rey had survived, the rite-of-passage that removed him from any remnants of childhood? Or had it been born out of their new relationship?

Rey watched Ben shadow in the light of his tent. He still hadn’t turned his lantern off. As Rey pretended to eat up the last of his dinner, he could feel Ben’s eyes watching him. Studying him. Taking in the sight of him in this context: both of them putting on the act of being alone.

In fact…Ben had been paying close attention to Rey a lot the past couple days.

Maybe Ben didn’t think Rey noticed, but for years, Rey had watched Ben’s every move. Now he had been adding up every occurrence in which he noticed Ben gazing at him longer than expected. Moments when he could feel Ben studying him, staring when anyone else would have already turned away. The real question was: did Ben not want him to notice? Did he think Rey was still too naive to know what was going on in someone’s head when they looked at him like that?

Or did he want Rey to notice? Was this a silent signal, an invitation, a door that had not been opened until now?

It had to be this place. The constant stormy clouds, the endless trees and swamps, the fact that they hadn’t seen the sun in days. And of course, the Dark Side all over the planet. It must be messing with Rey’s head, his sense of his surroundings, his Master, and himself.

Just like last time, isn’t it?

Rey shuddered. He shook that thought away quickly. There was nothing he needed to remember about last time. The here and now was all that mattered. Just like Master Ben said: don’t dwell on the past.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Ben’s voice, firm but gentle.

“It’s late, Rey.”

Rey stood up. He kicked wet leaves and dirt over the campfire until it was out. But instead of turning around and going into his own tent, he approached Ben’s.

He paused at the outside flap. One last chance for his Master to stop him. Either sternly say Rey needed to stop joking around and get back to his tent, or make some corny joke about what he was doing still standing out there in the dark. Instead, Ben was silent. He did not tell Rey to come inside. But he did not tell him to stop either.

Not when Rey pulled open the flap, slid through the opening, and closed it behind him. Not when he looked down at Ben sitting cross-legged on his blankets, his lantern and backpack and boots beside him. Both of them were only semi-dressed, down to only their sleeveless undershirts and pants. He looked up at Rey with an expression that Rey understood as quiet openness. His Master was calm, but…eager. Wanting. His large, dark eyes looked like the color of honey in the light from the lantern, and they were only on Rey.

“Is it okay if I stay here with you a little while?”

Ben swallowed, then nodded. He made a subtle hand gesture for Rey to come towards him.

“Are you afraid?” Ben asked.

Rey was not sure how to answer the question. Afraid of what? The jungle? The assassin? Of being this close to his Master? Of what they were about to do?

“I haven’t felt any fear since we arrived.” He sat on the other side of Ben’s blankets, holding his bare feet in his lap.

“We have nothing to fear. Neither of us do.”

Rey couldn’t take it anymore. He felt like if he waited a moment longer, he would burst. And it felt like not just the past six years from the moment he met Ben, but his entire life, had led to this moment, and it felt like he was simultaneously outside of his own body and yet aware of every cell and nerve of his body, present and complete yet needing more, and he leaned forward on his hands and knees, and his Master did not just refuse to stop him, but Rey felt him lean in as well, and close the rest of the distance left between them.

Ben’s lips felt soft and warm against Rey’s. He sucked in a breath of air, and Rey parted his lips ever so slightly. He felt Ben turning his head to the side a little, first one way and then the other. Then Ben cupped his chin, and it grounded him. Just like before, during their sparring match, Rey couldn’t help but reach up and put his hand over Ben’s, as if to say, Don’t let go.

Rey did not know how long they kissed. He only knew that when Ben pulled away, his lips wet with Rey’s spit, Rey couldn’t breathe, and his cock was rock-hard. It ached, and made his head spin.

Ben whispered to him first.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, Master.”

“We shouldn’t do this.”

“I want to.” Rey leaned closer to him. Now he wanted it so badly, he didn’t know how he could stop himself from going on. He did not know if he was capable of stopping. Was there a way to stop? “Please, Master…”

“We shouldn’t,” Ben said again, but this time with noticeably less conviction.

If words couldn’t show him, perhaps there was another way to get his point across. Rey bit his bottom lip as he adjusted his weight, balancing on his knees and left hand. With his right, he reached out until he could cup Ben’s crotch.

The groan from his Master was loud and hungry and instantaneous, and Rey felt that he was already semi-hard. Ben clenched both hands into fists at his sides, craning his neck back. Rey cupped him a little firmer and began sliding his hands up his length.

“I want to,” Rey said again. He leaned in closer until his lips were up against Ben’s ear. “I want you to show me.”

Ben didn’t stop him. Rey gripped his dick through his pants and planted a kiss on the side of Ben’s neck. He inhaled deeply, and he smelled Ben’s hair, his musk, the dried sweat on his skin, and it made his cock twitch.

“Show me everything, Master. How to make you feel good. How to be good to you.”

And when he looked at his Master again, he saw the fire in Ben’s eyes he had been praying for. The dead giveaway that he wanted this as much as Rey did.

“Then come here. Sit down. Like this.” Ben took him by the arms and guided him until Rey was sitting in his lap, facing away from him.

He could feel Ben’s heart pounding in his chest. The warmth of Ben’s body, and their bodies pressing up against each other with a closeness they had never had before, made Rey feel like he was going to explode. The hunger he’d denied himself was finally about to be satisfied, and he didn’t know if he could stand it. This would be his first time for all of it. His first time pleasuring another person, touching someone this intimately. It was overwhelming. And then his Master was there, one arm over Rey’s chest, his lips on Rey’s temple, his ear, his cheek, and his hushed reassurances that he was here, that Rey had to tell him if it caused him discomfort or if he needed to stop, and his other hand was touching Rey’s crotch as he’d touched Ben’s moments ago. Rey closed his eyes and moaned out as he felt Ben’s much larger, firmer hand exploring his length, stroking him so slow it was torturous, as if to tease him. He stretched out his legs and willed himself to hold still, at least for now, allowing his Master the pleasure of getting to touch him like this for the first time. Getting to know his Padawan in a new way. Like they were speaking to each other in a new language, a language that revealed secrets, leaving nothing hidden.

Rey leaned up, hungrily, and gripped the side of his Master’s cheek, pulling him into a kiss. Their second one felt more intense, more needy and desperate, more moaning in each other’s mouths. Ben’s fingertips found the head of Rey’s cock and rubbed at it before gripping his full length. Rey jolted in his lap. Blood rushed to his erection. He let out a muffled cry against Ben’s lips.

In return, Ben reached up until he held Rey’s hand. Gently, he guided Rey’s hand back down to his clothed cock. Rey did not resist. He wanted to touch him again. To feel it without seeing it yet. To touch it and know that he was the reason for his Master’s arousal, that his cock was hard and leaking because of him, for him, to touch it and feel like it had become his and was at his mercy.

Rey eagerly reached out and cupped him again. He swallowed up the deep ensuing groan from his Master as they locked lips again. Rey opened his mouth and, as he’d heard people do when they kiss, he slipped his tongue into Ben’s mouth to taste him.

He was delighted when Ben did the same. His mind felt like it was getting drunk on the lewd sound their tongues made as they lapped and sucked at each other, beyond any anxieties as to if he was doing it correctly or if he was being too messy. None of it mattered, and it was so freeing.

Time itself stopped mattering. Because here, it did not matter at all. There was no one coming down a hall to be wary of, no assignment to be tardy for. It was just the two of them, alone, in the middle of nowhere, with all the time they needed. Even now, Rey had the absent thought that this must be what it was like for those outside of the Jedi Order, those who had not made a vow to the Jedi teachings. What must it be like for this embrace of their deepest desires to not be the exception? What if every single night with his Master could be like this?

Ben’s other hand pawed at Rey’s chest. Rey maneuvered his body when Ben began pulling at his tunic, until he could touch bare skin. Ben pulled away from the kiss, his lips leaving a wet trail along Rey’s jawline, still giving him agonizingly patient strokes.

“Are you ready for more?”

“Yes, Master. More. Please.” Rey did not even bother trying to mask his desperation. He no longer cared. Every secret had fallen inside him, every need unmasked.

Ben began to sit him up, but Rey did not want to wait. He sat up on his own, turned around, and faced his Master. Hands on Ben’s shoulders. Fingertips twisting the ends of his hair. Then slipping down to pull at Ben’s tunic until he could tear it off completely. Rey had seen his Master undressed from the waist up a few times, coming back from the bathhouse or working on a hot day in the gardens. But this felt entirely new. Now it was not just a body to admire from afar, but one to pleasure and receive pleasure from. It was his now. To explore all for himself.

Ben watched him, breathless, flushed, and undone, until he did the same. After that, it did not take either of them long to undress. Rey did not even think of it as ‘nakedness.’ Or at least, not something to be self-conscious about. He kicked his pants aside, watching Ben do the same. He wasted no time returning to sit in Ben’s lap. Upon seeing the look on Ben’s face, the look of a man who had disregarded every reason not to do this and could only follow what he wanted, Rey began to grin.

He arched his back until he could rub the underside of his cock up against Ben’s. Smearing their precum together. Omitting more sharp groans from his Master. He arched again, this time, unable to help himself from glancing down to study how his cock looked when it was up against Ben’s, noting but not feeling ashamed by the fact that Ben’s was noticeably longer and thicker. Wondering what other kinds of things he could do to please it, how it might feel inside him, how it might taste.

Then Rey jumped, a little startled, when a pair of hands grabbed his ass cheeks with a firm smack.

“Fuck, Rey.” Ben hissed to him between clenched teeth. “Do you know how perfect your body is?”

Rey’s smile returned. He kissed his Master again, one hand on the back of his neck and pulling at his hair, a silent demand that the kiss would only end when Rey wanted it to. As he continued rocking his hips back and forth, grinding their cocks against each other, Ben worked up a rhythm of squeezing and smacking his ass. Rey groaned with each enticing sting, but it never registered as pain to him. It only made him more aroused, to the point he found himself leaning into it, silently begging for Ben to slap him even harder.

He was just shy of asking for it, when Ben looked up at him, and Rey knew exactly what he was asking with his eyes alone.

Rey nodded. Ben lifted two fingers to Rey’s mouth. After sucking on them a few moments, Rey collected enough spit in his mouth to coat them liberally.

“Tell me if it hurts.”

Rey just grinned, biting his lower hip.

“Yes, Master.”

Ben grabbed his ass again. This time, spreading his cheeks until he could slip one finger between them. He began rubbing light circles against Rey’s hole, easing him open a little bit at a time. To steady himself, Rey wrapped both arms around his Master’s neck. He could feel his thighs already beginning to shake as his body adjusted to this new sensation. His cock twitched with each movement. And he was only semi-aware of the noises Ben was wrenching out of him using only his fingertips.

His head spun, feeling dizzy. Knowing what he was about to do and craving it more than he craved water or air. He held still as best he could, moaning and whimpering as Ben stretched him out. When he eased a second finger in his hole, Rey let out a loud whine and pulled at a fistful of Ben’s hair. He wanted to see himself through Ben’s eyes. He wanted to see how alluring and perfect he looked, arching his back and thrusting his ass out, begging to be fucked and filled and used. He loved seeing the dark shadow that had come over Ben the more he played with his Padawan. If there had ever been a moment tonight they would have turned back and ended this, that moment was long gone.

Neither of them realized it had begun to rain again. A heavy, violent storm that soaked the outside of the tent in seconds, flooding the lower grounds. Thunder shook the entire swamp as the rain poured down. Each strike of lightning cast the shadows of the trees down on them.

Ben put both hands on Rey’s hips and eased him to sit up on his legs. Rey followed him, only looking into his Master’s eyes, still holding onto his shoulders for balance. He lifted himself up, and he felt the head of Ben’s cock slap against his ass.

It resisted at first. Rey whined and moaned at the pressure building against his hole.

Then it gave way, and he felt his ass sink down onto Ben’s cock.

“ Fuck! Master!” His mouth hung open, but no other sound came out. He never would have imagined it would feel like this. Was it pain? Was it pleasure? Was it neither? Was it both?

Ben held onto Rey’s hips, his chest heaving, gazing up at him. Slowly, he began to guide Rey back and forth. Rey leaned his head back, feeling his cock twitch and ooze more precum. Every little movement felt like electrocution rippling through every nerve of his body. It felt incredible. His face flushed. The tent was as hot as a sauna, and the smell of Ben’s sweat and musk mingled with his own intoxicated him.

“Look at you. Your ass is taking my cock so well.” He smacked Rey’s ass again.

Rey’s eyes rolled back, a line of spit trailing from his mouth, as he cried out from the sting in his ass. Legs shaking uncontrollably, he forced himself to lift up until he was on his knees. Until just the head of Ben’s cock was inside him.

When he sank back down on him again, the sensation was five times more intense than the last.

“Oh, fuck…Master…” He could hardly hear himself anymore, the blood was roaring so loudly in his head.

Ben squeezed his hips until it almost hurt. When he spoke it was in a hoarse whisper, his eyes-half lidded.

“Good, Rey. You’re perfect.”

Rey did it for him again, and again, and again. Arching up, then sinking back down on his cock. Feeling his hole stretch a little more with each thrust. He slid his hands up and down Ben’s chest and shoulders, gripping the large, firm muscles. By now, Rey’s cock was red and swollen. He knew he would come soon. He glanced down at the mess of precum he had already left on Ben’s stomach. Now and then, as he rode him, Ben pulled him close and planted a kiss on his neck or lips or jawline, and neither of them heard the clap of thunder or the pouring rain outside, but only the sound of each other’s breathing and moaning.

It did not take too long for his thighs to begin to burn from the exertion. But he did not want to stop. He could not stop. Even as Ben started to reach up and move him, guiding him along, Rey kept rocking up and down with his own strength. He wanted every movement to show his Master how much he craved his cock. How glad he was that Ben’s was the first cock he’d ever had inside him.

When Ben reached down and gripped him, Rey had no way to stop himself, and he came moments after. He watched his cum spill all over Ben’s fingers, and watched Ben lick his hand clean.

Then Ben gripped him tightly, forcing Rey to take every inch of his cock.

Rey cried out again, feeling electrified. He looked down at his Master and he knew, from the way Ben’s face had glazed over and he was barely breathing, that he was about to come. Rey reached out, snatching a fistful of hair on the back of Ben’s head again. With his eyes, he begged him.

Come inside me. Give me all of it.

Ben thrust faster. Rey saw stars, his jaw slack, eyes rolled into his skull. His body became boneless as he let his Master fuck him like he was nothing but a cocksleeve, a toy, a piece of flesh to be used for someone else’s pleasure.

“Fuck…Rey…I’m…”

Rey pulled on his hair tighter. He pressed his body against his Master’s so that there was no more space between them anymore, and he groaned and choked on his own spit. Ben buried his face in the side of Rey’s neck to muffle his cries.

And then he felt it. He heard it. Ben’s loud, deep groan of relief. His fingers digging into Rey’s hips deep enough to bruise. His sweat-soaked body shuddering and convulsing…and the sensation of something warm and thick inside Rey.

Only when he had finished did Rey fully collapse into his arms, fingernails digging into his back.

He would not remember how long they laid there before they at last fell asleep, but they did not say a word. Ben just held him on top of him, giving him light kisses until he began to drift off. Rey never let go of his Master the entire night.

Chapter Text

Part III.

When Ben woke up the next morning, the world seemed different.

It must be his emotions getting in the way. The culmination of all the pent-up desires unleashed last night that was to blame. His need for connection, for release. If nothing else, the fact that it had not only been Rey’s first time, but he had been Rey’s first. His first everything. That thought alone was enough to make him feel like he was going crazy.

But Ben could have sworn the jungle didn’t seem as dangerous as it had the past couple days. Or maybe it was that he was getting used to it, adapting to it. Learning to live in this climate.

Part of him could only think back to last night and feel regret. Barely a month with his first student, and he’d crossed a line he could never step back from. He had taken advantage of the boy’s obedience. It had been on Ben to put a stop to it, and he let it happen anyway. There was nothing he could ever do to make up for that.

Then again, this wasn’t just any student.

It was Rey . Rey, the scared orphaned boy who chose to take Ben’s hand six years ago when he had chosen, for the first time, to trust a stranger. The young man who had become like family to him over the years, a brother and a friend at the same time. Did the fact that he had done this with Rey, then, make it better or worse? Was it something of grace and value that he had been Rey’s first, because Rey trusted him more than anyone? Or did that make it all the more abhorrent?

Because how could they go back to before? How could Rey go back to being someone who obeyed him without hesitation, who would never question Ben’s authority, whose duty as Padawan was to follow in his Master’s footsteps, when this was the line they had crossed?

One small action, one night without inhibition, and everything had changed.

What would Luke think of this? Would Luke not be ashamed of him?

As Ben got up early to start a fire, the other part of him started searching for ways to rationalize what he had done. He told himself that this had been a way to bond with his apprentice. They had taught each other trust and openness, something that would only strengthen their relationship. And something Rey desperately needed. Rey, who had always struggled with letting others get close to him and had just lost his Master, needed to know that he could love and trust Ben with all of him. Last night, Ben had proved that. They had expressed loyalty, love, and devotion. Above all, he told himself that it was Rey who started it by entering his tent. Rey who made it clear, with both words and actions, that it was what he wanted. Rey who had every chance to walk away and didn’t. Therefore, there was little left to regret about last night, if anything.

These were the things Ben told himself. And the shadows of the jungle, the dense fog, the warm, suffocating humidity, acknowledged it and they agreed with him. It was as if the jungle itself listened to him. The jungle calmed the dark doubts, and assured him he had done nothing wrong. It helped these things feel more and more true.

Of course, just because it could happen once did not mean it could happen again. Ben made that promise to himself. If Rey tried to make another move on him, Ben would insist they had to remain strictly as teacher and student. He would tell Rey last night was a one-time occurrence, and while he was glad to be Rey’s first, one night simply could not, would not, define their relationship. If Luke were here, surely that was what he’d advise Ben to do.

That promise lasted about five hours.

They did not make it far in their travels when it began to rain again. They hurried to higher ground before the dianoga could attack them, then made camp. Tonight, Rey did not even bother pitching his own tent. Instead, they hunkered down together in Ben’s and had cold food for dinner, as it was too wet to build a fire. And Ben was too tired to insist that Rey pitch his tent.

“It’ll take us forever to get there at this rate,” Rey said. But, to Ben’s surprise, he did not sound distressed at this notion. That is, of being trapped indefinitely in the unforgiving wilderness of a planet strong in the Dark Side.

“It’s this weather.” Ben glanced up. “And the jungle. It’s easy to get lost, fall off the path. It almost feels like the jungle itself is…alive. Getting us lost on purpose.”

“Like it doesn’t want us to leave?”

“Something like that.” Ben shivered. Thinking about Dromund Kaas that way gave him the spooks. He hated wondering about what could be lurking out there in the shadows in addition to the assassin they had yet to find. He hated thinking of the possibility that the planet itself may be a trap. The kind of place you didn’t realize was a trap until it was too late. It made him want to finish this mission and get back to Ossus all the more. The problem was the more he wanted that, the longer their journey seemed to take.

He laid down, but couldn’t so much as shut the lantern off when Rey was kneeling over him. Rey looked at him, biting his bottom lip in just the way he had done last night.

“We can’t, Rey,” Ben said.

“But Master, I need you.” Rey arched his back, sticking his ass up and rubbing his bulge against Ben’s thigh.

Ben groaned, already feeling his cock twitch. He was losing his mind. Losing himself. He closed his eyes, trying to will himself to tell Rey they could not do this a second time.

But when he opened them, Rey had lowered himself to a crouched position right between Ben’s legs, with his ass arched up in just the right way. He placed one hand on Ben’s thigh, and gave it a firm squeeze.

“Please, Master? There’s just so much I want to learn. And I only want to learn it from you.” Rey pouted up at him from between his thighs.

Ben wet his lips, feeling his arms begin to shake from holding himself up. He said nothing, and Rey reached up to grip his pants.

“Don’t, Rey. We shouldn’t.”

“Please, Master? All I want is to please you. I want you to feel good.” Rey smiled up at Ben, looking so sweet and innocent. As if Rey knew that was the look that would break him.

Ben nodded and relaxed. He didn’t want to argue, and besides, he could make Rey feel good too. He could show him all the ways a man could give and receive pleasure with another man. They could bond in the sweetest way.

He told himself this would be the last time. After this, then no more.

“Show me what you want to do first.”

Ben expected him to tease it like he did last night. Instead, Rey leaned down and rubbed the side of his face up against his bulge, and all the while, he kept those soft eyes, with those long eyelashes, locked on his Master’s. Ben felt the softness of Rey’s lips as he began to kiss at his clothed cock. Blood rushed to his erection. Unable to sit up any longer, he finally collapsed and lay flat on his back.

“Oh, fuck…”

“What feels good, Master? Do you like this?” Rey pulled his cock out and began planting little kisses along the head.

Ben could only groan in response. Rey’s mouth felt too good. Everything felt too good.

So he laid back, and he whispered things for Rey to do for him. And Rey eagerly obliged each and every one, excited to learn all the ways he could use his mouth to please his Master. He licked every inch of him, like he was starving just for the taste of him, even leaning all the way down to lap at his balls. Ben stared up at the roof of the tent, dizzy and lost in his pleasure and at the incredible things Rey was doing. It felt so good that unless Rey had confessed this was his first time he never would have believed it.

Rey, impatient, opened his mouth wide and began sucking on the head of his cock next, an obscene slurping sound that Ben couldn’t get enough of. He started to fit more of him in his mouth. Ben heard him choke. He hushed his Padawan, urging him to take it slow.

As he did, Ben sat up again. This time, he reached up and grabbed at Rey’s ass, unable to resist the temptation, thinking of all the other kinds of ways he could make Rey cry out his name. Rey winced and moaned. Ben grabbed at it again, squeezing hard. He pulled Rey’s pants off his ease, and Rey obediently kicked them away before going back down on him.

As Rey worked on gradually fitting more and more of him in his mouth, Ben wet his fingers, then slowly started opening up Rey’s hole. He liked watching Rey’s body react to every tiny movement, the way his thighs trembled, the way he groaned and whined and whimpered against Ben’s cock, the way he almost tried to hide his own erection by pressing his legs together. To give him some relief as he fingered him, Ben paused now and then to grip Rey’s cock with his other hand, giving him a few quick pumps. Rey, now with a mouthful of his Master’s cock, could only make long, muffled cries. Ben liked seeing how reactive he was. How just rubbing along his head with his thumb or brushing his length with his fingertips really got Rey going. He liked when Rey pulled back and left long, thick lines of bubbly spit on Ben’s cock, and he’d smack his lips and take a deep breath, then gaze up at Ben for just a hint of positive affirmation that he was doing a good job, before he’d take his cock down his throat again.

Ben had eased two fingers in his hole now. He worked them back and forth, feeling the tight muscle give way and suck them in, over and over. He could have done this alone for hours. Especially when he got to watch Rey react to this as well. He stuck his ass up, silently pleading to be fingered deeper. Every time Ben thrust inside him he made the softest little moans, occasionally choking on him a little or batting his eyes up at him again.

Only semi-aware of the words coming out of his mouth, like a spirit had possessed him, Ben teased the young man kneeling in front of him. He called him a perfect little slut, and described how Rey’s hole was already begging for it, craving to be filled, and that his mouth was made for being stuffed with cock, and he was born to be on his knees in service to his Master, right here and now. With the way Rey cooed and groaned, and the way his hard little cock twitched and wept precum, Ben knew he was soaking up every word of it.

Ben wanted to come from this, but not yet. He needed to fuck him. Now. After all, Rey could not stop begging for it.

So he helped Rey up. He kissed him, aroused by the taste of himself in Rey’s mouth. He held his Padawan’s face in both hands and drank in every little sound he made, every movement of his lips and tongue, as if no more words needed to be said between them. He whispered assurances to Rey about how incredible that had felt. That this was all he wanted. That he loved his Padawan so, so much.

Rey wrapped his arms around him and said he loved him too.

Then he laid Rey on his side, facing away from him. He laid down behind him, and he wrapped his arm over him. Rey pressed his ass up against Ben’s cock, teasing it and tempting it, and Ben grabbed at Rey’s body, exploring his pecs and abs and hips and thighs.

Then he reached down, gripping the back of Rey’s thigh, and pulled his leg up until Rey’s knee practically touched his chest.

As Ben buried his face in the side of Rey’s neck, smothering himself in the smell and taste of his Padawan, he eased his cock inside Rey’s hole. Rey leaned his head back, eyes rolled back, mouth open in a long, low, sultry moan, as he begged for his Master to fuck him.

Ben held onto his leg, glancing down to watch as Rey’s body took every inch of him.

He started slowly, going gentle with him so he didn’t hurt him. Wanting to feel every little bit of it and not rush through the moment. Soaking in every moan and cry Rey made as his ass was stretched out. Ben commanded him to grip his own cock and touch himself, but not to come until Ben gave him permission. Rey obeyed him.

Then Ben quickened his pace. Rey’s loud cries drowned out the sound of skin slapping against skin, his own hard cock reddening in his grip. With Ben’s other hand, he reached up and gently wrapped it around Rey’s neck. Rey’s groans were even louder. He greedily sucked two of Ben’s fingers in his mouth and ran his tongue over them, until Ben put his hand on his throat again. Through the sound of his own labored breathing, Ben heard Rey’s hoarse pleas.

“Please…Master…can I come…?”

Ben hushed him and kissed him. He let go of Rey’s leg and gripped his cock for him instead. He ordered him to come, then began relentlessly pumping him.

Rey bucked his hips, like he was fucking himself on Ben’s cock. Then he screamed out, like he had never had an orgasm before at all, just before his cum spurted all over Ben’s hand.

Ben kissed him over and over. Told him how perfect he was. Because he was perfect. Ben felt incapable of thinking of anyone else but Rey in this moment.

So he rewarded him for his perfection, and drove him to a second, then third orgasm before he finally gave Rey what he had been waiting for. When he finally came in Rey’s ass he almost blacked out, both from how long he had prolonged his own orgasm and how intense it was. He shuddered and choked on his own spit, whispering Rey’s name over and over as Rey’s hole milked every drop out of him, and he had no more to give.

When they were done, Rey couldn’t even sit up anymore. He only lay there, practically lifeless.

Ben cradled him in his arms. Exhausted, he closed his eyes, leaving soft kisses along Rey’s temple and cheek as he drifted off to sleep.

Rey, still wide awake, lay there a while. Ben, fast asleep, was holding onto him firmly, and he was too strong for Rey to wriggle his way out. But he didn’t want to. There was nowhere else he wanted to be but in his Master’s arms. It was almost enough to stop another nightmare about the assassin from coming back that day. In this nightmare, he saw himself being impaled on that tree just like Master Skywalker, and he saw Ben turned into the same red cloud-like vapor as the assassin did, before he completely disappeared.

The following morning, they set out with high spirits. The location on their tracker where Master Skywalker fell was less than three miles away. As long as the terrain was not too merciless, they could make it before nightfall.

“I’m ready to be out of this jungle,” Rey found himself saying as they trekked through yet another thick part of the swamp. He was up to his knees in mud. His legs were killing him. Plus he was somewhat sore from yesterday.

“Next time, I’ll ask the Council to assign us to a less swampy planet,” Ben said dryly.

Rey smiled. But as they walked on, he began to wonder how much he had really meant what he said to Ben. Dromund Kaas was a terrible place, and every day spent on this planet left no mystery as to why no one had settled here. But now he had memories and experiences associated with it he had nowhere else. Here, there were no other Jedi to watch them or judge them. Ben had taught him things about himself. He had proven himself to Ben. They had found each other in a whole new way.

When they found the assassin, and returned to Ossus, would this part of their relationship remain? Probably not. If so, it would have to be secret. And there was no telling how well a secret this big and intimate could be kept.

Which meant that Dromund Kaas, strong as it may be in the Dark Side, was his one and only chance to be with his Master this way.

For this reason, Rey found himself starting to hope the assassin would not be there when they reached the location. He hoped they could stay here another few days, maybe even weeks. They could survive that long together, surely. What was so wrong with wanting that?

It’s not the first time you’ve kept a secret from the Jedi.

Another thought he pushed away quickly.

It was late afternoon, but the jungle was as dark as nightfall already. Rey looked up, but could only see the treetops. Only the tiniest specks of the gray skies were visible. You’d think thirteen years on Jakku would make him never forget what the hot sun felt like on your skin. Now those memories felt far away. But as he was treading through the swamp, absently moving from one muddy spot to another above water as he tried to recall what direct sunlight felt like, he heard his Master’s voice. It snapped him right back to the here and now.

“Rey, stop. Do you hear that?”

Rey stopped and listened. He looked around.

“Hear what, Master? I don’t hear anything.”

“I heard a voice.” Ben was turning around in circles. “Someone is out there.”

“Sorry, I didn’t hear it. Maybe it’s the caf deprivation.”

Ben half-smiled at the joke. They walked on a while longer when Ben stopped again. This time, Rey saw him reach for his lightsaber on his belt.

“Now I know I heard something. It sounded like it was right behind me.”

Rey turned around and faced him with a sigh. Ben studied their surroundings intently, breathing fast, already in a stance to draw his lightsaber at a moment’s notice. He did not seem afraid, but he was tense.

“We’re still almost two clicks away. What did you hear?”

Ben looked back at him, his hand still hovering over his lightsaber.

“I heard it say my name.”

Rey frowned. That made no sense. How could a creature in the middle of nowhere know his Master’s name? Unless…

Suddenly, Rey’s blood turned to ice in his veins. He could not feel his body, only semi-aware of it.

Ben frowned.

“Rey? What is it?”

It took him a few tries to get the words out. He tried to run towards Ben, but he couldn’t move. An invisible thread held him back, a cord cold as ice and strong as steel.

“I remembered something about that day. Just now.” He swallowed. “It knew my name. Ben . It knew my name too.”

Ben looked over his shoulder, back at where he had presumably heard his name being called.

“If it knows my name, what else do you think it knows? Do you think it’s been following us?” His expression softened as he reacted to something Rey still could not hear. “No. It can’t be. It’s…”

“What, Master? What did you hear?”

“That sounded like Luke.” Tears welled up in Ben’s eyes. “That was his voice.”

“Master. We have to get out of here.” Rey’s mind scrambled, trying to think of how to explain his sudden terror. But the words did not come. Why? Was it the humidity, the density of the jungle, the fact that he hadn’t seen direct sunlight in days? Or was it something that went deeper?

But Ben didn’t seem to be listening to him anymore.

“I know what I heard. It’s my uncle. He’s calling out to me.” Ben’s breath quickened. “He's trapped here. It must be this planet. It’s so strong in the Force that he’s been able to reach out to me from…” He started walking away.

“That’s not your uncle! Ben, snap out of it! Don’t you see what’s happening?”

But Ben shook his head. He kept walking, as if a string deep in the jungle had tied itself around him and was pulling him closer. As if he was in a trance.

“I know his voice. If his spirit is here, then the Dark Side must be trapping him to this planet somehow. He needs our help.”

“Master, stop!” Then Rey coughed. His throat felt tight, and his tongue felt swollen. “This is exactly what happened to me. I heard it call my name and I followed it. I didn’t listen to Master Skywalker. That’s how I lost my way. That’s how…”

Now he remembered. That day, he had been following Master Skywalker on the path he believed would lead them to an ancient Sith temple. Rey had heard someone call out his name in the jungle. The voice sounded sweet and beautiful, the voice of a young woman. A voice that sounded almost like it had been singing to him, promising Rey what he had never tasted before. He had followed the voice, despite Skywalker’s pleas for him to stop. He had kept going, determined to find out how it knew his name, what it wanted with him, what it wanted to tell him. He just had to know if it was as beautiful as its voice. He hadn’t seen the dropoff coming. The fog had been so thick he couldn’t see what was in front of him. All he knew was that the ground dropped off, and he tumbled at a nearly ninety-degree angle into a dark pit. He had woken up to pitch darkness, in pain all over, and when he climbed back up to high ground, he found Skywalker’s body impaled on the broken tree limb. He remembered it all with sudden and horrifying clarity.

Ben paused. Whatever he heard next made him quicken his pace. Fresh tears ran down his cheeks.

“Luke! I’m here! I’m coming. Just hold on. I’ll find you!” Ben was still moving, but he stopped just long enough to look back at Rey. “Stay with me, Rey. Hurry!”

Rey had the sensation that a sheet of ice had pressed against his back, and that was when he knew. It was here. It had followed them. How long, he could not comprehend. It could have been watching them all this time. It could have been watching them every single night as it learned their names. All he knew was that if he turned around, he would see it .

His hand trembled as he reached for his lightsaber. As he did, Rey stared straight ahead at his Master, as he kept walking away deeper into the jungle. Rey tried to scream out to him. Warn him. But when he opened his mouth, no sound came out.

At last, his body willed itself to move just enough so that he could turn around.

Rey saw a red mist, like a cloud of dust the color of blood, hovering right in front of him. For a second Rey did not see anything other than that cloud. Then his eyes began to adjust to it and he realized what he was looking at. In the mist, he could make out the shape of a human-like face, eyes, and a mouth. Pale hands stretched out from the cloud. When they touched Rey, they felt like hot flames burning away his flesh in an instant. When he heard its voice, he knew it was the exact voice he had heard before. A voice that led him astray so that it could make the kill. Kill the teacher, spare the student.

And he had been right all along. Its face was as beautiful as its voice. He saw large dark eyes, round cheeks, sharp teeth, a slender neck, soft breasts, dark nipples, all taking shape through the mist right before his eyes. And as it leaned in to whisper to him, Rey felt the softest brush of ice-cold lips against the outer shell of his ear.

“Look down. Listen…listen…be at rest…”

Rey screamed out for his Master at the top of his lungs. The hand turned to a claw and grabbed him. Even as a pain he had never known gripped his throat, and it felt as if the skin was being peeled off his face in strips from its claw-like fingernails, Rey could not help but gaze at its beauty. It looked too beautiful to be real. He wanted to reach out and touch it.

Ben turned around. He drew his lightsaber. The color blue filled the swamp, standing against the red mist. And Rey was caught right in the middle, between two worlds. Warmth and cold, Light and Dark, the known and the unknown.

At last, Rey was able to tear away from its gaze. He looked behind him, and he could see it all in Ben’s eyes. Even now, there was no fear. Ben was not afraid of this monster. He did not think of himself or his own protection, much less his own chances of leaving this planet alive.

Without regard for his own safety, Ben ran towards Rey’s attacker.

The mist moved away. It let go of Rey. He gasped, clutching at his face, although there was no blood. Ben swung his lightsaber at the mist. It divided into several smaller clouds, moving around him. Ben glanced back at Rey.

“Get out of here. Run. I’ll find you!”

“But Master—”

“That’s an order, Rey!” He turned around just in time to raise his lightsaber. The mist had thrown a large boulder at him, covered in algae from the swamp. In one strike, Ben cut the boulder in two.

Why couldn’t he move? He had to do what Ben said. He was in danger. He must run. So what was holding him back?

The voice whispered in his ear again. This time, it said something it hadn’t said last time.

“I’ve been waiting for you to return, boy. You’re ripe…delicate. I like you.”

Rey ignored Ben’s order. Instead, he drew his lightsaber and stood behind him, ready to fight with him. This time he would not run. He would not abandon his Master.

As Rey watched, the red mist took shape again. This time, it turned into a solid form, and Rey saw a human-like figure standing in front of Ben. The figure now wore a long red gown. It had white skin with black markings on its face around the eyes, nose, and cheeks. Long pale hair fell down to the waist. Rey could only look as he took in the figure’s beauty, wondering how he could make out so many details of something that had only been a mere vapor before.

Ben whispered something, just loud enough so that Rey could hear him.

“You’re a Nightsister.”

Nightsister . Rey had heard whispers of those in the Academy, stories from Master Bridger and other survivors of the Purge. He had never imagined he’d meet one in person.

The Nightsister grinned. She held out her hands, and the red mist flew towards Ben at lightning speed.

He moved to the side. He drove his lightsaber towards her in a forward offense. As Rey watched, trying to see where to make his own move, the red mist wrapped itself around Ben. The Nightsister stood back and the mist continued to flow from her hands, whispering words that echoed among the trees, like the jungles of Dromund Kaas had joined in the enchantment with her, every creature aiding her in her assault. Ben slashed at it with his lightsaber, but it did nothing to stop it. One last time, he ordered his Padawan to run.

Rey did not run. He ran towards the Nightsister and screamed out as he braced for the attack. A Force like a strong wind hurled at him and threw him backwards. He hit the ground hard. An instant later, red mist settled around Rey’s ankles. When he tried to stand, his legs wouldn’t budge.

Then he saw the red mist around Ben turn into solid form, with the appearance of a heavy, thick rope. It tightened around his Master, squeezing his right arm, his neck, his waist, both his legs, lifting him up from the ground, like giant roots that had come alive and reached out of the swamp. At the same time, the same red mist tightened around Rey’s ankles and forced him to stand up, but did not allow him to take a single step. Ben tried to scream, but his throat was so choked he could not. It tightened around his wrist until his hand gave into the building pressure, and the lightsaber slipped from his grip. He still did not give up, struggling against the enemy.

In the blink of an eye, the red mist grabbed Ben’s lightsaber before it could deactivate. The blade spun around, whirring to the side. In one swift motion, it sliced into Ben’s side, then cut right into his stomach.

Rey did not register what he had seen at first. He thought it was another trick. Another deception from this monster.

Then he heard Ben’s cry of shock. His Master looked down and took in the sight of his own lightsaber stabbing him in his lower torso, and the horrible gash it had left in his side.

Then his eyes slowly closed, and the red mist vanished. He fell, and when he hit the ground, he collapsed into a heap. He did not get up.

“MASTER!” Rey looked down where he had fallen. He could still sense Ben’s presence in the Force. He was unconscious, but breathing.

But the lightsaber had gone through him. It had damaged vital organs. Without immediate medical care, he would die.

And they were in the middle of the jungle, days’ journey from their ship. Millions of miles from any medical facility. No one to help him. No one to save him. The only thing Rey could do was stand there and watch him suffer until the Force finally claimed him. How long did he have? Hours? Minutes? Would it be a slow, agonizing death?

Suddenly, Rey’s throat ached. His vision clouded with hot tears. It should have been him. This was all his fault. He should have remembered how he fell into the ravine that day, how the monster led him astray, so he would warn Ben. He should have known better than to let the same trap happen again. He should have been the one to die. Not Ben. Anyone but Ben.

“Ben, I’m so sorry…” They were the only words he could muster. They sounded so pathetic as he heard them said out loud.

The Nightsister cocked her head, still standing between Master and Apprentice. Rey glared at her. He may be paralyzed and unable to run, but he still had his lightsaber.

“I’ll kill you. I swear, I’LL KILL YOU!” Damned if revenge wasn’t the Jedi way. He would make an exception this time. For Ben.

“Patience, boy. He’s not dead yet. And I know how to heal him.”

“Why should I believe you?!”

“I’ll show you.” The Nightsister lowered one fingertip to her arm. As Rey watched, she drew her fingernail back, leaving a line of blood along her own forearm. As blood droplets began to ooze down her skin, she then held out her palm over the cut. The same cloudy mist came from her hand, but this time, rather than the color of blood, it appeared as a murky green color. For some reason it reminded Rey of the gardens in the Academy, full of new life. Within seconds, the cut disappeared, leaving just the drops of blood already spilled as evidence that it had been there. “You see? I have the power to heal him if I want to. Suppose you and I make a little deal.”

“A deal?” Rey looked down at Ben, who still hadn’t moved. He could not help but stare at the stab wound. It made him nauseous with horror and dread. The Nightsister’s proposal, however, couldn’t help but bring up its own questions. Why make a deal now, and not the last time they met? Rey deactivated his lightsaber. “What kind of deal?”

“I will heal your Master, if you give me something I want.”

“And what’s that?”

The Nightsister smiled and moved close to him again. She reached out, cupping Rey’s chin. Rey’s blood curdled as the fingertips brushed his face, and the soft lips mouthed a whisper less than an inch from his own mouth. His body had never felt so weak, so helpless. He wished he could move.

“Have the Jedi taught you about a Force symbiont?”

“Symbiont?” Rey frowned. Where was this going? “No. Did you make that up?”

“I didn’t think they would tell you. It’s a dark magick power the Nightsisters have perfected, and one the Jedi have discouraged through the ages.” She paused and let go of him. Now she paced around Rey in a slow circle, studying every inch of him. It made Rey feel naked, exposed. As if she could see through his clothing, look into his mind, every dark desire and thought raw for her to take apart. “A symbiont binds two people together. It allows them to share memories, thoughts, and emotions. It allows them to even exchange consciousness between one another. Think of water, transferred between sources. River to sky, the rain, sky back to river. Now imagine river and sky knowingly exchanging that water, one in the same but still separate. With a Force symbiont formed, you will be able to access my dark magick abilities. You will be able to see everything that has happened to me. You will know all my thoughts. In exchange, I will also access all of yours. We will share everything, at any time we want. Whenever I wish to, I will see your precious Jedi Academy, and anytime you like, you will see where my sisters and I hide in waiting.”

Rey took this all in. His heart pounded in his ears. He could not stop glancing down at Ben. Still clinging to life, but for how much longer?

“Why do you want a Force symbiont with me?”

“I want to get to know the Jedi Order from the inside. And, well…I like you, Rey. I really do.” She smiled coyly, tilting her head to the side, twirling a lock of hair around her index finger. “I would love to see what it’s like inside your mind.”

Rey bit his bottom lip. The Nightsister pressed close to him now. He could feel the warmth of her body against his own.

“Why offer to heal my Master for it? Why not just force yourself into my mind and let him die?”

“I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that. Otherwise I would have already done it.” The Nightsister touched his shoulder. Rey turned around abruptly, but she had already moved back the other way. “The Force symbiont only works if both parties agree to it. It is not an invasion of your mind, but an exchange of minds. I cannot force it on you. In other words, you must invite me in.”

“I have no reason to trust you. You killed my first Master. Now you’ll let him die too.” Just saying it brought more tears to Rey’s eyes. First Luke, now Ben…he couldn’t. Not Ben. Not when he’d finally gotten Ben this close to him, when he could finally be with Ben as he’d always hoped for, even before he fully reconciled that what was he desired. Not when they could finally be together. If there were anyone else in the galaxy he could give this fate to…

“Really? Are you sure about that?”

“What the hell are you talking about? Of course it was you! I remember you that day. You tricked me and led me away so you could kill Master Skywalker!”

“But you didn’t attack me. You ran off the moment I called your name. But now, you come to me seeking revenge. Now, you are considering a deal with me to save his life.”

“So what? He’s my Master. Of course I want to save him.”

“You don’t remember everything about that day, do you, boy?” She grinned, licking her lips. “Don’t you remember how much you wanted to follow my voice? How much you wanted to see me? How you did not hesitate in abandoning your former Master?”

“You seduced me! You cast me under a spell!”

“There was no spell, boy. You did not need one. One gentle motion, just a little bit of singing in your ear, and you didn’t even try to resist. You only needed the slightest push to let me do what I came to do.” She smiled at him, looking him up and down. “You could have saved your first Master. Something stopped you. You decided to let me finish it. You stood by and let it happen.”

So it is true.

Rey did not have the strength to argue with her anymore. He had known all along, hadn’t he? That was why he hadn’t been able to give Ben or the Council a full description of Master Skywalker’s death. He had known, and he had blocked off the memories from that day so he did not have to face the truth.

But she had been there. She had seen it all.

“What I would love to know is why.” She glanced down at where Ben lay unconscious. “I’ve been watching the both of you these past few days, so I have an idea. But I want to hear you say it. Say why you did it, Rey.”

Rey shook his head, blinking away the tears. He wanted to tell her she was wrong about him, but he seemed to have lost any ability to lie. The memories from that day were still clouded in his mind, so he must still be blocking them out, unwilling to live with what he had done. What he had stepped by and allowed to happen. His worst fears of himself stood in front of him, taunting him with the truth: that he had gotten what he wanted. That he had known exactly what his future would entail without Master Skywalker.

“That’s what I find so interesting about you. You are with the Jedi Order, training to become a Knight. But your heart isn’t in it. Isn’t that right? The Dark is strong in you. No Jedi would let his Master die just so he could satisfy his lust, his selfish cravings…except for you. Some Jedi you are.”

“You’re wrong…” But Rey could already hear the Council’s words from all those years ago. The warnings that Luke and Ben had not heeded.

They were right about me, he realized.

And when that occurred to him, he felt a peculiar sense of peace settle within. The doubt of whether or not he was too dangerous, which he had struggled with for years, had finally been answered. Now there was no more confusion. No more questions. No more doubt. Now he knew the truth about himself. With that truth, however terrible it was, came a comforting clarity.

This was not just who he was, but who he had always been. A threat to be reckoned with. A monster who had finally awoken.

“You don’t really want to be a Jedi. You want power.” She held out her hands to him. “And I can give it to you. Together, we will discover a power the Jedi could not comprehend. You could avenge everyone who hurt you when you lived in that desert junkyard. You could stop anyone from leaving you. No one would touch you or defy you again. You could have whatever you wanted.”

Rey’s body swayed a little. Did that mean he would be able to be with Ben any way he wanted, and the Jedi would never find out? Could they be together forever? If this Nightsister could trick both of them so easily, maybe she could show Rey how to keep his own secrets. As he stood there, thinking of what this could mean for him, the Nightsister began to nod slowly.

“So there is something you need. Everyone craves power. But only a few can access it. You, my dear boy, are one of the chosen few.” A weak groan from Ben sharpened the Nightsister’s tone. “You don’t have much longer to decide. Your teacher is dying. When he does, it will be too late. So what is it, my boy? Do we have a deal?”

He no longer had to consider it. Because there was nothing to consider. Not when this was on the line.

He’d find a way to explain it all to Ben later. Or he’d find a way to keep this a secret too.

“Alright. It’s a deal. Heal him, and I’ll let you in.”

“Very good. You’re a smart boy, Rey. I think the two of us are going to accomplish great things together.” The Nightsister crouched down beside Ben, who had gone frightfully pale. She placed her hand over the wound in his side.

Rey watched, carefully, as the wound began to close up. Color returned to Ben’s face. He was still unconscious, but Rey could feel his presence strengthen, as he no longer had to fight to stay in the world of the living. He would live. Today, Rey would not have to say goodbye to him.

Then he straightened as the Nightsister turned to face him, and he felt the red mist release him.

Ben slowly came to, staring up at the treetops. He didn’t know where he was at first, his head a blur.

Then he remembered. Dromund Kaas. The Nightsister. The mist. Rey…

He began to sit up, when a familiar hand touched his shoulder. He heard Rey hush him.

“It’s alright, Master. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

He could have cried with relief. Ben reached up for him, grabbing Rey’s hand.

“What happened? My lightsaber…it…”

“I was able to heal you. I…don’t know how. I’ve never been able to do it before. But I guess in the moment, I figured it out.” Rey knelt beside him. He was smiling down at Ben softly. His long hair was unkempt and he had dirt streaked across his face, and Ben almost saw a hint of a red glow in his eyes. But Rey was not hurt. He was alive and well. That was all that mattered.

“And the Nightsister?”

“She’s gone. I attacked with my lightsaber and she disappeared. I don’t believe she’s dead, but I don’t think she’ll try messing with us again.”

“Then we need to get back to Ossus. We’ll tell the Council what happened.” Slowly, carefully, Ben stood up. “Did you see any more of them?”

“No. I believe she was the lone survivor of her clan. Which means she doesn’t pose a threat to us anymore.”

Ben took his time getting to his feet.

“Damn. It’s going to take us a long time to get back to that clearing.”

Rey pointed north.

“There are some temple ruins that way. One of the towers goes above the treetops. We could send a distress signal from there, for someone to pick us up and take us back to the ship.”

“Good thinking.” Ben looked down at his stomach where he’d seen his own lightsaber penetrate him. Sure enough, not even a scar was left behind. Rey really had done it. He hadn’t trained him to, and he knew Luke never got to that part of Rey’s training. But, he supposed, best not to question a good thing when it happened. Maybe Rey’s impulsivity had worked to his advantage this time. Then something occurred to him. “How did you know a temple was that way?”

“Oh, well…while I waited for you to wake up, I did some looking around.” Rey shrugged, then smiled. “Don’t worry. I wasn’t going to let any of the swamp creatures get you, Master.”

Ben put his hand on Rey’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

“I know you wouldn’t. You did well today, Rey. Thank you for saving my life.” He swallowed a lump he hadn’t realized had formed in his throat. “I’m proud of you. I mean it. Now, let’s go send that distress signal so we can go home.”

“I couldn’t agree more, Master.” Rey hurried after him. “And, you know, once we send that signal, it will still take our rescuers some time to get here. We’ll probably have to make camp out here one more time. One more night, just us two, all alone out here.”

“I suppose. Well, it’s been how many days. What’s one more night?” Just to be sure he was picking up on Rey’s signals, Ben looked over at him.

Rey was smiling. That faint red glow was in his eyes, but Ben liked it. It seemed to suit him. It was true that he could never take back what they had done on this planet, and their relationship could never go back to what it was before, but maybe that was for the best. Maybe they could find a way to make it work.

“Certainly, Master Ben. What’s one more night?”