Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was still dark when William stirred. He glanced towards the other side of the bed in search of Est, expecting to find the familiar dip of mattress and the curve of Est’s back, but the bed was empty.

His gaze wept around the room, but Est was nowhere to be seen. The other bed that was present in the room was untouched as well.

While the room did have 2 beds, they still occupied only one, like a routine habit.

They were currently in Austria for a fan meet. Landed yesterday night, and while tomorrow they would be busy with the fan meet, they had decided to coop in today and explore the city where they were currently in.

The cabin was in the middle of nowhere with only a forest behind and a few more quiet cottages ahead.

William checked his phone, which was on the bedside table, and sighed. It was 6:18am, way too early for his brain function. He probably slept for 4 hours since they landed. While jetlag was a pain, so was Est’s absence.

He shivered as his bare feet touched the floor, slipped on his slippers, and made his way to the attached bathroom in the room. The lights were off, and the door was ajar. Worried, he picked his phone ready to call Est, but a movement in the balcony caught his attention.

He walked to the window, pushing aside the curtain, and his breath hitched.

Outside, the world seemed as though it had stopped. Everything was white, covered in snow. The dense forest was covered in snow, casting a soft feel. And there on the balcony stood Est - barefoot in a thin sweatshirt and sweatpants, staring at the wilderness.

The sun had risen, and in the midst of it, Est looked ethereal. An unearthly being.

To William, he looked soft and serene, like a glass rose, untouched and fragile. Someone to be tucked away and preserved.

The wind blew softly as it snowed, and Est shivered, but he had a small smile as he stared up at the sky and lifted his hand outward in the hopes of catching snowflakes.

William stared at Est for another minute, not wanting to disturb him, but his shivering form had him halting his views about Est’s beauty.

He slid the door open with a quiet hiss.

“You’re insane,” he said gruffly, stepping out. The cold slapped his skin immediately. “Why are you out here barefoot without a jacket?”

Est turned around, startled, hand to his chest. “William! could have warned me before springing up all of a sudden.”

“Well, I’m definitely warning you now before you catch pneumonia” hands crossed, William frowned.

Est had a small grin as he stared at William “It’s the first snow Will, I’ve always wanted to watch the first snow since I learnt what snow meant. Couldn’t waste the opportunity.”

With that being said, he turned back towards the forest and braced his hands on the railing.

“You ever think about disappearing?” Est asked softly, afraid to break the moment.

“Sometimes”

“And?”

“I’d take you with me”

Est tilted his head back slightly to meet his eyes. “You never say things like that”

“I say them when it counts.”

A few beats of silence passed.

Another tremor passed through Est as the wind grew harsher.

William sighed and swept his hand through his hair before taking off his hoodie and flinging it at Est.

Est squeaked in mild surprise.

“Wear it before I throw you off the ledge Phi”

Est laughed muffled by the hoodie. “You wouldn’t dare Will, you love me too much to do so” he grinned as he wore the hoodie.

William rolled his eyes fondly as he stared at Est’s bare feet and muttered “Get inside Phi, I’m not lending you my slippers as well”

“You would if I asked you. You’ve never been able to say no to me William” Est chuckled as he got inside the room.

The flames sparkled in the fireplace, warming the room as William returned to his side of the bed, hoping to regain some much-needed sleep.

Est watched William fall asleep from the foot of the bed, a quiet warmth settling deep within his heart. He found himself reminiscing about the time they first met and how everything had changed since then. In the early days of their collaboration, William had been kind and gentle, but guarded—walls built high around him, letting only a select few glimpse the man behind the idol persona he showed the world.

Like in his previous projects, Est wanted to give his all—and hoped to receive the same in return. Excited to finally have a partner he could laugh with, confide in, and start a new journey alongside, Est laid himself bare.

William was kind and understanding toward Est, but that kindness remained a boundary, never crossing into something deeper. Est tried desperately to break down those walls, longing for even a glimpse of the warmth that those closest to William seemed to share. Yet, all he met was aloofness.

Every time he made an effort during workshops, post work hours, he was met with polite William, who didn’t put in effort for anything that was not work related.

He didn’t really want to do anything outside work nor want to get to know Est, since to him it was supposed to be a one-time collaboration, wherein they’d work for one project and go their separate ways once done.

During the workshops, whenever they hit a challenging part of the script that demanded strong emotions from William, Est would patiently explain everything to him in detail. He even went as far as sharing his own heartbreaking experiences—those personal moments that were related to the script’s emotions—hoping it would help William connect and express the feelings more naturally. After all, it was William’s first role, and he was still struggling to find the right emotional depth.

While these cues were of great help to William and he did appreciate Ests efforts, he never reciprocated.

Dejected, Est struggled as he felt that he was the only one laying his heart bare.

He’d go home after workshops and cry in his mothers’ arms. His mother soothed him, encouraging him to vocalise his feelings to William.

But he had made his decision, if William wanted to treat this relation impersonal, then he would do the same.

The next few days, Est worked with sincerity but the warmth and openness wasn’t present, which threw William off the kilter.

Realising where he went wrong, William strived to correct it. Slowly he started opening up to Est. Though at this point Est had his own walls up, with small nudges from William, they melted.

From opening up to Est, to prioritising Est above his own self, Est had occupied the most important space in his life, someone who he couldn’t think he could live without.

Est made his way to the other side of the bed, slowly settling in, so as to not disturb William who was asleep.

Est softly brushed the strands of William’s hair that had fallen onto his forehead.

His eyes shimmered as he softly whispered “I’ve never cared about anyone in my life that wasn’t family or friends... but then you came along like a ray of sunshine, and everything changed ai dek uan. You taught me to be confident and to stand up for myself. You protected me - even though you’re younger, and it should have been my responsibility as the elder.”

Est felt a few tears slip down his cheeks. “You never gave up on me, even though I did and every time I fell weak, you stood strong and fought for me. For us. Against the world.”

He sniffled softly, “I don’t ever want to lose you ai dek uan, maybe that’s why I’ve never dared say these words out loud—because I’m afraid of losing you.”

“I don’t even know when this brotherly affection turned into something more, something deep. And even if you don’t feel the same, know this: your Phi Est will always be here for you.”

“Who said I didn’t feel the same?”

Chapter Text

William’s side of the bed was cold. Again.

With concert practice at dawn with the Lykn boys, fittings, photoshoots, and MV recordings stacked back-to-back, William was barely home anymore

The lack of rest worried Est deeply. The boy had too much on his plate but never complained. From sleepless nights to multiple coffee cups, William powered through relentlessly.

Est sighed and pulled William’s pillow close, burying his face in it. He breathed in the faint remnants of William’s cologne and shampoo — subtle and familiar.

Stretching, he dragged himself out from under the covers and padded towards the wardrobe with sleepy limbs and thoughts full of William.

He didn’t bother grabbing his own clothes, instead he reached for one of William’s black button-down- shirts – the silk one he always wore when he wanted to look effortlessly charming.

He slipped it on and rolled up the sleeves and let the hem fall low on his thighs, brushing against the tops of his boxers.

The kettle clicked off as Est pored hot water in the cup that contained jasmine tea sachet, stirring slowly, lost in thought.

The shirt hung loose off his frame, one side slipping off his shoulder.

A faded red mark peeked out near his collarbone – the one William left two nights ago after a rare heated kiss in the hallway before a phone call from his manager P’Koko pulled him away again.

Est sighed.

He was just about to curl up on the couch with his tea when the door unlocked.

William walked in, hair tousled, jacket thrown over his left shoulder. Tired.

But his eyes sharpened the moment they landed on Est.

His shirt.

Est in his shirt.

Bare legs.

The faint mark that he’d left two nights ago.

His voice was low, “Are you wearing my shirt Phi?”

Est blinked, feigning innocence. “You weren’t here. I got cold”

William dropped the keys and his jacket on the table, stepping closer, expression unreadable.

“You always choose this one,” he murmured, eyes trailing over him. “Why?”

Est sipped his tea. “Because it smells like you. And it makes me feel like you’re here.... when you’re not”

That hit harder than either of them expected.

William’s gaze softened, “It looks better on you”

Est smirked. “I know”

But then William was in front of him, fingertips brushing along the hem of the shirt.

“Do you know what it does to me, watching you in my clothes? Do you do it on purpose?” he asked, voice rougher now. A sharp glint in his eyes.

Est titled his head to the side and stared at William, eyes wide with mischief. “Do what?”

William leaned closer and whispered in his ears. “Look like you belong to me even when I’m not around?”

Est’s breath caught.

William tugged the shirt down slightly, exposing more of Est’s shoulder, leaning to press a kiss on the faded mark. Slow. Wet.

He then dragged them against the collarbone, letting his tongue graze the skin.

Est swallowed.

“W-William” his knees nearly buckled.

William backed him up against the kitchen counter. The tea was long forgotten.

Fingertips tangled in the open buttons of the shirt as William pressed against him, lips tracing a path up his neck.

“You like wearing my things Phi?” he asked, voice low and possessive.

Eyes closed, cheeks flushed, Est nodded, breathless. “Yes”

Willia grinned against his neck.

He lifted Est up, placing him on the counter.

Est wrapped his legs around his waist, shirt gaping open now, revealing flushed skin and bare thighs .

Willaim didn’t give Est a warning. One second there was space between them, and the next, he was tugging the shirt off Est’s shoulder.

Est barely had time to react before Willia’s left hand found his waist, fingers splayed possessive and his right-hand cupped Est’s face, firm but tender angling him just right – and then their mouths met.

The kiss was hot and raw.

Lips collided, teeth scraped, tongues tangled like a promise.

Est’s hand scrambled to hold on to William’s t-shirt, clinging to it.

There was no space left between them.

Est’s fingers curled tighter; his knuckles white as the kiss deepened.

A soft, helpless whimper escaped him and William swallowed it greedily.

His tongue slid past parted lips, exploring with maddening slowness before surging forward again.

William bit down gently on his bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth to soothe it.

By the time William pulled back, Est was panting- chest heaving, lips bruised and swollen. His eyes fluttered open slowly, eyes glazed over, dark and wide. He looked utterly wrecked.

His.

William dropped to his knees between Est’s parted legs, eyes fixed on him with an unreadable intensity.

“Do you have a schedule tomorrow, Phi?”

“No.... I’m free thi-this weekend. Then ad shoots and s-script reading the next week. Why?”

William smirked slowly as he pressed soft, deliberate kisses to the inside of Est’s thigh. “Perfect for what I have planned for you, then.”

“W-what plans?” Est asked confused, brain still foggy from the heat of William’s mouth now hovering near the edge of his boxers.

“Plans that include you – naked, on the bed, not being able to walk.”

Chapter Text

The music thumped low in the background of Tam’s condo. The party was in full swing — someone was passing around beer, others were downing shots of vodka and the air smelled of grilled barbeque, perfume, and the thrill of a Saturday night.

Est was perched comfortably on a beanbag, laughing at something Daou whispered in his ear. His cheeks were flushed pink from the alcohol.

And William couldn’t stop looking at him.

He sat with his bandmates, coke in hand, pretending to listen to Nut and Hong argue about who ruined their last set. But his eyes kept drifting across the circle.

Est was radiant. Loose hoodie, hair still slightly damp from swim practice, eyes shining.

William’s heart skipped.

He had first seen Est during orientation—a senior known as the golden boy of the university, both for his high grades and his status as the school’s swimming champion.

Though Est belonged to the sports faculty, he had come to introduce the swim club to the art students, inviting them to try out.

Flashback

Est stood in front of the room, warm gaze sweeping across the seated students as he introduced the swim team and himself, proudly stating he was the captain. His bright smile made half the room swoon.

A few girls giggled, whispering to each other about joining the club just to see him more often. Others chatted excitedly about giving it a try for fun.

Hands raised one by one as interested students asked questions.

William, however, sat still—his eyes locked on Est, unreadable.

Nut gave a low whistle. “If the captain’s that hot, I’m in.”

Lego nodded. “Same here.”

“Phi, if I drown, would you give me CPR?” Lego asked, raising his hand.

Est laughed, shaking his head, “Sure Nong, no problem, but hopefully it won’t come to that—we’ll train you well.”

Lego pouted, p retending to be disappointed.

Hong elbowed William with a smirk, raising his eyebrows. “You’ve been staring at the senior for a while now, are you genuinely interested in swimming or just him?”

“Huh? I….” William blinked, flustered, caught in the act..

Tui leaned over and whispered, “Our baby William has a crush. Too bad his competition is the entire university—and Phi Est’s fan club.”

The group burst into laughter as William’s face turned bright red. He whacked Tui in embarrassment, trying to hide his smile. 

End of flashback

It had been a year since that day.

Est and his friends were now in their final year while William was just in his 2^nd year. He dreaded the day when Est would graduate.

For a year, William had quietly nursed a crush on him—one he never dared confess. His friends kept encouraging him to come clean, but William couldn’t. He was afraid. Afraid of rejection, of ruining what little closeness they had. He found comfort in liking Est from afar. The idea that Est might like him back felt almost laughable. He was probably nothing more than a little brother in Est’s eyes.

Their groups had slowly grown familiar with each other over the year, thanks to Lego and Diamond—Daou’s friend—who were notoriously close. Though they never quite clarified what they were, everyone had their suspicions.

And presently they were both squished on a small love seat whispering and giggling.

Tui came stumbling from the kitchen with an empty wine bottle and eyes filled with mischief.

“Truth or dare!” he yelled and placed the bottle on the floor.

The crowd roared in agreement. Drinks sloshed. People shifted, and the game began.

Punch grinned and spun the bottle. It landed on Khao.

Cable raised his hand instantly. “Truth or dare?”

Khao sipped from his drink, smirking.

“Truth. Let’s go easy.”

Cable leaned forward. “Have you ever kissed someone in this circle?”

“What if I have?”

Nut barked a laugh. “Just answer, lover boy.”

Khao pointed lazily at First, who immediately choked on his soda.

“WHAT?! When?” First cried.

Khao winked. “University concert last semester. Your lips were soft.”

The whole circle howled. First turned red, threw a cushion at Khao, and said, “That was CPR, idiot! You thought I was choking!”

“And I saved your life with a true love’s kiss,” Khao declared.

First blushed harder.

Hong raised his hand, “Wait, wait—why the hell would anyone perform CPR on someone who’s choking?”

Daou nearly choked himself laughing. “ Khao just wanted an excuse to kiss First, that’s all”

Next up: the bottle spun again — Hong this time.

Est beamed. “Truth or dare, Hong”

Hong flicked his silver hair dramatically. “Dare.”

Est giggled. “Kiss someone’s cheek, but you can’t say a word before or after.”

Hong didn’t hesitate. He turned towards Nut who sat beside him and kissed his cheek. Then he took a calm sip from his cup like nothing had happened.  

Nut blinked, dazed. “I’m— Am I pregnant now?”

Hong smirked into his drink while the rest cooed at the display.

Rounds went by — silly dares, embarrassing truths, giggles, and chaos. Then—

“William,” Jeng grinned, the bottle had landed squarely on the younger boy.

“Truth or dare?”

William blinked once. Then twice.

“…Dare.”

“Say something heartfelt to your crush,” Jeng smirked.

Instantly, there were ooohs. William’s ears turned red. Nut snorted into his drink. Daou sat up straighter, side-eyeing Est who was blissfully unaware, sipping his soda and humming along to the background music.

William cleared his throat. Looked at his drink. Then spoke:

“The first time I saw you, I couldn’t believe someone like you could even exist.

Your presence lights up the whole room.

Every time you laugh, I want to bottle the sound.

I wish you’d look at me—just once—the way I look at you.

I want to be the only reason you smile, the only one who makes you feel anything.

All of you—every part—I want it to be mine”

A quiet hush fell.

Black broke the silence. He asked intrigued. “Who is it?”

William shrugged, gaze intense.

“You never asked me who. Just to say it.”

Est tilted his head. “Awwww! That’s so sweet, Nong,” he said with a bright smile, completely missing the tension. Daou face palmed. Hong nearly fell off his seat laughing.

Punch leaned toward Tam and Daou, whispering in mild horror, “That sounded like a confession from a future kidnapper.”

Tam deadpanned, “Honestly, the only thing we’ve learned is that Est would probably think getting chained to a bed is romantic—as long as William did it with puppy eyes.

The game proceeded.

Next round: Est.

“Dare,” Est said brightly.

Nut grinned like a devil. “Sit on someone’s lap until your next turn.”

Est blinked. Looked around.

And with zero awareness of the quiet desperation in William’s gaze, he plopped himself onto Daou’s lap.

William clenched his jaw. The plastic cup crunched in his grip.

Tui whispered, “Bro’s about to combust.”

Nut glanced at William and gulped, “That was not what I was hoping for.”

Daou groaned dramatically. “I may not survive the night.”

Est blinked down at him. “Huh? Why?”

“Because your fan club is watching,” he muttered, side-eyeing William.

The next rounds flew by:

Nut had to sing a love song to Tui on one knee.

Lego admitted to stalking his crush’s Instagram all the way back to the first post—ten years ago, 700 photos deep.

Diamond got dared to drink a shot of vodka every time someone laughed until his next turn — and suffered.

Then the bottle spun…

And landed on William. “Dare”

Nut smirked. “Oh, I’ve got this one. Don’t worry, not gonna fuck it up this time.”

He leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Make your crush sit on you.”

Everything went silent.

William didn’t look nervous. He looked... determined.

He stood. Slowly. Every heartbeat thundered in his ears. The circle watched in stunned silence. His eyes never left one person — Est.

Est was mid-laugh again at something Daou said, unaware of the shift in energy.

William walked over, calm and confident.

Est looked up, blinking.

“Nong? Did you want something?” Est asked sweetly, smiling as always.

William’s voice was soft but firm.

“Phi, stand up.”

Est blinked, confused. “O…kay?”

And in the next second, William dropped onto the beanbag Est had been sitting on — then grabbed Est by the wrist and pulled him down.

Right into his lap.

The entire circle exploded.

Punch screamed.

Hong clapped.

Tam shrieked.

Someone howled.

Nut fell off his seat laughing.

Tui was filming.

Lego wheezed, “Puppy has moves!”

Est was frozen, wide-eyed, pink-cheeked, and stuttering. “W-W-William?! W-What are you—?!”

William just looked up at him with that same soft, puppy-just-got-his-bone expression and shrugged.

His hands circled Est’s waist to keep him steady.

“It’s a dare.”

And Est shivered at the contact.

Even though William wasn’t touching skin, just the fabric of Est’s hoodie, it felt like his entire spine was on fire. His hands hovered awkwardly, unsure where to land—his knees, William’s shoulders, thin air?

Daou whispered to Punch, “I told you he’d die.”

When the game finally ended — Est made a beeline to the corner, flustered and fidgeting with his hoodie.

William followed quietly.

Est turned, still blushing. “You…you really meant what you said earlier, didn’t you?”

William looked at him like he was the only thing that existed. His voice was soft, certain.

“Yeah.”

Est stared, heat creeping up his cheeks. His breath hitched slightly. Then he shyly smiled, chewing on his lower lip.

“Do you… want to get lunch sometime?”

William grinned. Wide. Puppy-happy. Almost dizzy with joy.

“You’re asking me?”

Est blushed deeper. “I mean… if you don’t want to—”

William cut him off, shaking his head rapidly. “Yes. Yes.”

Daou watched the scene unfold with a sigh of exaggerated relief. He raised his cup to no one in particular and muttered:

“He lives another day.”