Archive of Our Own ^beta

It is a known fact that isolation is not particularly good for the human brain. People need to hear voices that aren't their own on occasion, even if it's just a livestream with a massive delay made worse by too many ads. Seriously, it's 2056. Most of the ad companies were literally wiped from existence. Why is this still a problem?

...Anyway. Isolation. Not good for keeping people sane. Especially when there's no way of knowing where other people are, or if they still exist, or if finding a way back to them is possible. Or how much time has passed since getting separated from them in the first place.

In summary, Al's very proud of himself for not cracking yet. Sort of. Mostly. As far as he's aware.

But if his sanity has finally given out, he can't say he'd be surprised. "So... what are you supposed to be?"

"Nopon Archsage is Nopon Archsage." Why did he pronounce that differently each time? "...Friend look very lost. This incredibly wrong direction."

Well, it's not like anyone ever told him what the right direction is. This is the first time he's even heard of a right direction existing. In that sense, he'd say he's actually making progress. "So, what's the right direction, then?"

"Hm..." The little fuzzy potato places a wing to his... chin? Does he have a chin? Al's going to call it a chin. "...Archsage not sure should give that information yet. Would not be proper Nopon if just gave away for free." Why couldn't he have been found by literally anything else, then? He wants to go home! His friends all probably think he's dead! Elma's going to kill him!

Also, he literally doesn't have anything he could pay the furball with. Maybe his clothes. But then Elma actually will kill him.

And yet, this is still shaping up to be a better day than the last... he'll go with 'several,' and pretend he would have noticed it being longer than that. "...What do you want?"

"This not good place to explain. Follow Archsage. Land of Challenge much nicer for conversation. And Archsage have food."

This is the dimension-hopping version of following a stranger into an unmarked van, isn't it? But no other options are presenting themselves, and Al would like to eat at some point in the next year or so... and he's pretty sure that if the self-proclaimed Archsage tries anything, he would absolutely be able to take him. He's basically an oversized football.

So. Following the strange fuzzy thing it is.

The Archsage was not, in fact, lying about having food.

It's not perfect- apparently he's somehow been blacklisted from most universes whose living societies have invented pizza, which he says is a story for another time, which means he's definitely not telling it ever- but a burger from an unfamiliar animal and some terrible fries are exactly what Al needed to start feeling like a person again. Starting with the realization that maybe he shouldn't have taken food from someone who says he shouldn't be giving stuff away for free. And then eating the rest of it, because what's done is done, and his stomach has fully reacquainted itself with the concept of hunger.

"Friend Al ready for explanation?" The Archsage asks. Al can't recall ever telling him his name, but that's far from the weirdest thing that's happened today.

If this has all been happening on the same day. He's not entirely clear on that, and he isn't going to ask. He still hasn't ruled out that he might have just finally gone insane. "It doesn't matter what my answer is, does it?"

"It does not!" Great! Good to know they're on the same page. "Welcome to Land of Challenge! Place for glorious combat of all kinds!"

It's a fighting ring. He's being kidnapped to take part in a fighting ring.

But on the bright side, a fighting ring is, by definition, not something that can happen in isolation. So, really, it could be a lot worse. "You... want me to fight here."

"Just for little while. Long enough for proper massive crossover event of everyone's dreams. Al not Archsage's first choice to represent that world, but was easiest to get wings on, so acceptable compromise." He's being kidnapped by an omnipotent fanfiction author. Somehow that makes all of this worse. "Make new friends. Fight new friends. Fight alongside new friends against powerful enemies. Maybe all of the above. Whatever challenge may be, try to get good time."

He's being kidnapped by an omnipotent fanfiction author who doesn't even know what he wants the plot to be.

To take part in a fighting ring.

Is this what death is? A series of hallucinations that feel vaguely like they make sense, but would make him sound insane if he repeats them to anyone else?

Al resolves that, if he ever gets out of this situation, he's not talking about it with anyone unless he absolutely has to. Are there even words for this? "And then you'll give me directions, right?" He suspects that, if he doesn't explicitly make that part of the deal, the little Nopon is going to forget all about it and he'll have to stage a breakout.

He's pretty sure he could, but that'd just put him right back where he was before. Just with the biggest bag of stolen cheeseburgers he can fit in the Ares, or something.

"Better. Archsage promise to send Al directly to correct world at perfect moment for big, dramatic entrance."

He does love a big, dramatic entrance...

And maybe he can introduce whoever this big crossover event is with to the concept of pizza. He's sure this can only improve their respective universes.

If he's lucky, they might even be willing to share.

The Archsage says it's a few days later when another party in the crossover shows up for what he calls 'Stage One.' Al's going to have to take his word for it, because the sky has not changed.

It's just a couple teenagers. One blond, one with red hair, both looking about as confused as can be expected from people who haven't been lost between worlds for long enough for nothing to faze them anymore.

More importantly, it's the first humanoid contact Al's had in ages. "How's it popping?"

"Don't answer him, Reyn," The blond hisses to his friend, eyes glowing white as he looks at something no one else can see. "Not unless you want this to be the start of a running gag."

"Hey! I'll have you know, I have great taste in running gags!" He turns to the Archsage. "...Right?"

"...Archsage chooses to reserve judgement. At least Al has yet to threaten to cook Archsage." Wait, that's a thing? Who even does that?

Reyn sighs. "Shulk, mate, are you seriously saying you had a vision about this?" He gestures at the ruin frozen in the act of crumbling. "Not saying that's the dumbest thing you've ever said, but-"

"Trust me, you don't want to get him going." Al's just met these people, and they're already judging him. Viciously. Apparently, teenagers being like this is a multiversal constant. "My vision was incredibly clear about that."

The Archsage rubs his wings together. "Anyway! Have plenty of time for silly running gags later! For now, introductions!"

...Why does this feel like he's in kindergarten all over again?

They won't be fighting each other yet, because the Archsage has declared that, at the moment, any such battle would be 'supremely unfair,' and that Shulk and Reyn must 'level up.' He may or may not mean this literally. Al's decided he's never going to ask.

He's willing to take a lot of existential bullshit in stride, but he draws the line at his life being explicitly compared to a video game.

So, instead, they sit around and talk and compare their epic quests. Such as they are. "I don't suppose your world has anything like the Monado."

Not in described function. If humanity had access to selective weapons, the White Whale's voyage would have involved significantly fewer murders. While the ship was designed to theoretically function for centuries, the theory ignores the fact that the whole thing is basically an intergalactic road trip, and it's not a long road trip if multiple people involved don't end up wanting to kill each other.

But in form... "Actually, it sort of looks like..."

"...Like?" Shulk repeats. "Your world has a Monado?"

"Well, not one that works. But..." What even is Lin to him? Something tells him that 'long-term situationship's unofficial kid' isn't something these people will understand. "Someone I know has an accessory that looks just like it. I think we'd notice if it was showing her the future, though." Maybe that design's another multiversal constant. Like teenagers being teenagers, and, according to the Archsage, the existence of Nopon. Not that they have any way of confirming that.

Either way. Shulk has a cool sword. That he's taking on an epic quest for revenge.

And, for some reason, the Archsage is rolling around on the floor laughing. That probably doesn't mean anything.

Al's pretty sure this is actually happening, and he hasn't gone mad from isolation. So, all things considered, this is a really good day, actually.

If it's supposed to be day right now. He still isn't sure about that.