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Nick 🩵: Omw. Post breakup cuddles tonight please? 😞
I sit up ramrod straight upon reading Nick's text. I had been lounging on the sofa, caught up in one of Isaac's most recent recommendations. I hate myself for the elation that clamours inside me.
Oh fuck! Nick, I'm so sorry!
Of course cuddles
Dw, I'll take care of you xx
Just get home quick
I mark my place and hurry the remnants of my dinner to the worktop in the kitchen to deal with later. If Nick had just left her place, he should be home in about twenty minutes. I make sure I have my phone, wallet, and keys, lock the door behind me, then take off at a sprint.
Nick and I have been flatmates for years – it all began the Spring term of my first year of uni. My roommates in student housing were some of the biggest twatwaffles I'd ever met, let alone had the displeasure to live with, but the housing committee couldn't fit me in anywhere else. My new friends at the queer soc passed on that Nick Nelson was looking for a new flatmate, and insisted that he was disgustingly easy to get along with, so I contacted him and – lo and behold – we got on like a house on fire. We've lived together ever since, even after we both graduated and entered the workforce. He's my best friend, and I'm proud to be his.
Oh— perhaps I should also mention: I'm head over heels in love with him. Have I ever considered telling him that? I assure you, I've spent an unhealthy amount of time agonising over whether or not I should, but we just never seem to be single at the same time; and, once our friendship grew to be the most important relationship in my life, I never wanted to risk fucking it up just so I could get my feelings off my chest. Nick is way too precious for that.
So, I've settled for being mates who cuddle and spend holidays together and always put each other first – that's not such a bad consolation, right?
Arriving at my destination, I run into Tesco and quickly make my purchase, then sprint my way back to our flat. When our door is in sight, I see Nick about to disappear through it.
“Nick!” I shout just before he closes it. He looks up, surprised to see that I wasn't already inside, then holds the door open for me. I run through, slowing to a stop as he closes and locks it. We both turn to face each other. I'm out of breath, but the sadness on his sweet face prompts me to open my arms for him anyway. His face crumples, and then he collapses against me.
He holds onto me for dear life, crying into my neck, and I wrap my arms around him just as tightly, plastic bag hanging off my elbow. I shush him and tell him it'll be okay and try to be generally comforting. He's so large in my arms, yet so fragile that it breaks my heart. After a few minutes, his tears die down to sniffles, and he reluctantly pulls away.
He fixes me with those gorgeous eyes, forlorn but grateful, and I smile sadly back at him and clear the tear tracks from his face with my thumbs. The contents of my bag knock against him, drawing his attention.
“What's that?” he asks curiously, his voice thick and raspy.
“Oh, um…” I trail off, reaching into the bag and pulling out one of the two objects. I hold it up where he can see it, and his puffy red eyes light up. He takes it and pulls me back into a tight hug.
“Bubble gum ice cream! You're literally the best.”
I chuckle and rub his back, leaning into his chest and enjoying the way his large body swallows me whole.
“Movie out here, or movie in bed?” I ask into his jumper.
“Movie in bed, please.”
I give him a parting squeeze and pull away. “I'll put this away so it doesn't melt while we get changed, then.” I do so, then scrape my scant leftovers into the bin, rinsing my dishes and placing them in the dishwasher.
When I turn around, I immediately put my hand to my chest and give a classically gay gasp, startled by Nick hanging at the edge of the kitchen as though he was afraid to leave my presence. He chuckles ruefully, rubbing the back of his neck. I approach him and rest a hand gently on his bicep. “Do you… want to talk about what happened?”
Nick hesitates. “Um, well… not really? Not right now, at least. Just wanna get cosy, if that's okay.”
“Of course that's okay,” I say with a smile. Once upon a time his reticence would've made me anxious, thinking he didn't trust me or didn't actually feel as close to me as I thought we were. But, I've been through enough of his breakups now to know that that's just Nick. He prefers a good dose of self-care over hashing out all the negative emotions, for the first night at least. But I still always ask, just in case.
I push him toward our rooms, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Regroup in ten minutes?” He leans his head against mine and nods, then kisses the top of my head. I can't help but giggle as we part ways.
I put on a loose pair of pyjamas – cotton shorts and a short-sleeved top. The collar is so wide that it hangs off one shoulder, but it doesn't bother me – most of my sense of shame around Nick left long ago. I open my bedroom door when I'm done changing so Nick can come in when he's ready.
After getting my laptop set up with Legally Blonde, I go grab our ice cream from the freezer – disgusting bubble gum for Nick, as he mentioned, and a much more refined mocha for myself – along with two spoons and two flannels to keep our hands from freezing. When I return, Nick is settled into what has become his side of my bed. He brought pillows from his own room, making sure the wall behind us is more than adequately cushioned.
I can't help but smile whenever I look at him. He smiles back, taking his ice cream from me gratefully. As I start up the movie, he nudges his shoulder into mine and quietly says, “I love you, Char.”
My heart skyrockets, then plummets, as it does every single time he says those words to me. “Love you too, Nick,” I say, pressing back against him. I feel guilty that it breaks my heart a little every time he tells me that, because I'm so, so lucky to have him as my best friend. I just wish that could be enough for my poor, besotted gay heart.
After we finish our ice cream – Nick polishes off his pint, I put the other half of mine back in the freezer – I reclaim my place next to Nick, our thighs pressing together where we've bent our knees to make room for the laptop. He wraps his arms around my left one, and I lay my head on his shoulder so he can lean his own against mine. I make some comforting, wordless noises, and he nuzzles me in response. It's heavenly, don't get me wrong, but it also makes my heart ache.
I notice that Nick has been fidgeting more than usual, and his reactions to the movie are delayed and subdued. His distraction is completely understandable, but I'm ashamed to admit to myself that I'm jealous that his mind is on her, that he's not fully present, in the moment, with me.
I don't ask him about it because I want to respect his earlier decision not to talk about it yet; honestly, though, I'm also motivated by the fear that he'll talk about how much he misses her, or how sad he is that it's over.
It doesn't matter, though, because Nick finally reaches forward and hits the spacebar to pause the movie. I turn my body towards him, giving him my full attention and a smile that I'm hoping is patient and kind.
“I think I want to talk about it? If that's okay?” He looks at me shyly, as though I'm not someone who would do literally anything for him. I roll my eyes and poke both of his cheeks at once, in the spots where he usually pokes me in my dimples.
“Don't even start. I ugly cried all over you for hours after Jared.”
Nick chuckles and pretends to scoff, but he fails miserably because he's looking at me with so much fondness. “It was not hours .”
I wave my hand at him dismissively then grab his chin and wiggle it. He's usually the more handsy one, but him being soft and vulnerable with me makes it hard not to take every opportunity to touch him. He laughs and pushes me off of him, but he doesn't let go of my hand. I squeeze it, then take it in both of mine; this is pretty standard for our heart-to-heart conversations.
We sit quietly for a minute or two, but it's not uncomfortable. I can't remember the last time there was an awkward silence between us. He keeps holding his breath, though, like he's about to start talking, then lets it out without saying anything. I just smile at him encouragingly.
“ I broke up with her ,” he finally blurts out. I raise my eyebrows in genuine surprise. I wouldn't have said Mandy was “the one” (though, to be fair, I wouldn't say that about anyone Nick dates), but Nick had never expressed any misgivings or told me of any trouble in their relationship – nothing atypical, anyway.
“She… she was being really transphobic,” he explained further.
“Oh,” I say dumbly, feeling like a bag of bricks had just been upended over my head. I feel uneasy at the idea that Nick's friendship with me could've ruined his relationship, even though I realise he wouldn't want to be with a shitty person even if I wasn't trans. “What, um… how did that come up?”
Nick sighs. He sounds weary, but also annoyed. I know it's not directed at me, though. “She thought it would be nice for us to make a fancy dinner next weekend, so I told her to add what she needed to my shop list so we could go together at some point this week.” I feel a stab of jealousy, but I roll my eyes at myself internally and tamp it down – they're no longer together, after all.
“I pulled it up on my phone and handed it to her. I already had a few things on there, so when she saw it, she said ‘Awww, I actually don't need anymore right now, but that's so sweet of you!’ I was so confused!”
Nick and me both. I tilt my head and furrow my eyebrows as I try to puzzle out what she could've been talking about.
“So I asked her, and she said, ‘You have pads on here.’” Nick pauses to let the confusion clear up – it does, and it is replaced by my soft-hearted love for him. I don't need them often anymore, but I used my last one the other day. I of course told Nick about this as I griped about stains on my pants, as I never know when I'm going to need one – like I said, no sense of shame – so he must've added it to his own list. A tiny smile pulls at my lips. I make a noise of understanding, and he continues.
“Without thinking, I said, ‘Oh, those are for Charlie.’ Now she was really confused, and I guess I thought she already knew you were trans, so I was confused about why she was confused. Anyway, I told her bluntly that you're trans, and that I thought she already knew. I'm so sorry I just outed you like that.”
He's such a sweetheart. I squeeze his hand and shake my head. “It's fine, Nick, you know I'm not keeping it a secret.”
He still looks upset. “I know, but it's not my information to share, and I shouldn't have—”
I cover his mouth with one hand. “Nick, it's fine!” I say with a laugh. I remove my hand before he can lick it, as I know from experience that's what's coming if I linger for too long. “Just continue, please.”
Nick acquiesces, but not before his face transforms into an irritated frown. “So then, she said, ‘Of course I didn't know!’ as if this information had literally any bearing on our relationship. I'll spare you all the back and forth that came next – basically, she was fine with me having a male best friend who has a dick, but she just didn't feel comfortable with me having a male friend who has a cunt!”
My eyes widen – at the audacity, yes, but also at the fact that Nick just said ‘cunt’ in very clear reference to my very own. I feel an embarrassing pulse go through it, a bit of wet gathering there in spite of it all.
Nick's eyes also widen, and his face goes tomato red. “Sorry!” he blurts, realising what he just said was a tad crass. I throw my head back a little and giggle at him.
“Nick, it's fine. But, yeah, I can't believe the fucking nerve!” Sure, I'm a bit salty on Nick's behalf. And mine too, I suppose. “And that doesn't even make any fucking sense!”
“I know, right?!” Nick agrees, his incredulity building on my own. “You're still a man !” I can't lie, it warms my heart to hear him say that so emphatically and without hesitation, even though I've always known that he supports me and my gender wholeheartedly. “And not that genitalia even matter when it comes to sexuality, but I am bi. I have a documented history of liking both dicks and cunts!”
I can't help it – I burst into laughter, unused to hearing Nick talk so frankly about ‘dicks and cunts.’ It's such a fucking delight. He starts laughing with me, and we keep at it until we are crying and clutching each other like our lives depend on it.
We separate and wipe our faces after we finally get all the giggles out. Nick clears his throat with a final chuckle and continues his story. “Anyway, she gave me an ultimatum: her or you. I don't know what gave her the idea she was going to win that one, but she didn't. So, I broke up with her.”
I try to hold back – honest to god I do – but I just can't do it. I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face there, feeling ridiculous as my lip wobbles and tears sting my eyes.
“Thank you,” I whisper – not just for choosing me, but for standing up for who I am. He is the literal best.
“Of course, Char,” he says softly, rubbing my back. “I don't want to be with someone who can't accept your presence in my life. As far as I'm concerned, you're here for good.”
The conviction in Nick's voice kills me – to death. I think with petty, smug satisfaction that my fear of Nick lamenting the loss of his girlfriend was entirely unfounded. I feel like I won; Nick may not be my boyfriend, but he's still mine .
We separate and wipe our eyes and chuckle self-consciously. After a few quiet moments, I gesture to the laptop, and Nick nods. We restart the movie and settle back into our positions with our heads leant against each other, the atmosphere peaceful and comfortable.
Once it's finally over, I shut down my laptop and we sit in silence. Nick turns to me, his head resting against the wall.
“Can I stay here tonight?” he asks hesitantly.
I roll my eyes at him good-naturedly. “Yes, you giant rugby child. I don't mind.” His cheeks are pink as he smiles sheepishly at me.
We part ways briefly to perform our nightly routines, each in our own bathrooms, before reconvening in my double bed. I lie on my back and he lies on his side, facing me. I turn off the light, then feel his hand reach for mine.
“Is this okay?”
I turn my head and smile at him in the moonlight. “Yeah, it's okay,” I whisper, squeezing his fingers.
We both close our eyes and fall asleep.
💚🤍🩵💙
I groan as I slowly return to wakefulness, the room still dark around me. Sweat is beaded on my face, my neck, my chest. I'm so fucking hot it's stifling. I sleep with extra blankets because I run cold, but my body is accustomed to that. I feel a heavy presence weighing me down, which makes me realise why I'm sweating so profusely.
This isn't the first time Nick and I have shared a bed, so this has happened before. Nick is a cuddler, after all, so it's unsurprising that he's lying with his head on my chest, arm wrapped around my waist, knee draped over my thighs. My arm is even wrapped around his back in return. He is basically a portable furnace, however, so the extra blankets are overcompensating. I grab the top edges of them with my free hand and throw them down past our waists, sighing in relief as cool air rushes over our skin.
Fuck. That's when I notice that Nick is no longer wearing his T-shirt. He must've overheated and taken it off in the night.
Then I notice something that definitely hasn't happened when we've shared a bed before: Nick's erection, pressing into my hip.
I start to breathe faster, blood rushing through my ears and temporarily blacking out my vision as arousal pulses through my treacherous cunt. Fuck .
I should wake him up – he would probably be so embarrassed to realise what he's doing, even though he has no control over it.
His hips are moving just the tiniest bit, however, and the feel of his hard cock rubbing against me is sinfully fucking good. It's awakening some dormant, filthy part of me that I've never felt before, and it's leaving me breathless. I'm feeling guilt, yes, but it's drowned out by a devious satisfaction that Nick, even while asleep, is finding pleasure in my body.
Fuck, this is so fucking wrong. What are the odds that Nick's subconscious is already over Mandy? I wonder.
That thought makes my skin crawl. Still, though – I'm not exactly trying to wiggle out of his grasp or yell at him to wake up, am I? I'm torn, and my indecisiveness has arrested all motion in my body except for my pounding heart. I release the breath I've been holding, though I'm still unable to kickstart myself into action.
Nick is murmuring quietly to himself, though none of it is intelligible. I carefully begin stroking the tacky bare skin of his back with my left arm, ostensibly to try to wake him up, but I find myself praying that he doesn't.
It goes against my instincts, but I try to breathe normally, as that's what Nick's sleeping body would expect from me. He just hums at first, but then his own hand begins to move. I swear my heart stops for an interminable moment.
Nick's hand was already positioned on the right side of my waist, over my clothes. Now, though, it slides down to my hip, and I can't stop the small gasp that escapes me when he squeezes me there; thankfully, he doesn't seem to notice. His hand then travels back up – except now, it's sliding underneath my flimsy pyjama top. I let out a deep breath and my eyes flutter shut at the feel of his hot, rough fingertips against my skin. This isn't so bad, right? Nick is just touching my tummy – that's innocent enough, and besides, it feels so fucking good.
Well, maybe when taken alongside his erection grinding into me and his hot breath pooling right over my nipple through my shirt, it's not that innocent.
Trying to pave the way to responsibility, I repeat over and over in my head: He's not thinking of you, he's thinking of Mandy. He's not thinking of you, he's thinking of Mandy.
“Char….”
I freeze – even my heart follows suit this time – and it takes every ounce of willpower I've ever possessed not to cackle wildly at the timing of that. Oh, and also, not to burst into hysterics at the fact that Nick just said my name while he's presumably having a sex dream.
I try to calm my frantically beating heart – I tell myself it could very well be a coincidence, after all. Nick's hand isn't helping matters, though – it's on the move again, pushing my shirt up as it ascends. My breath catches on emotion as his fingers brush over the scars from my top surgery. Nick actually pauses there, smoothing back and forth over the scar tissue, as if he knows the significance of the skin he's touching. My eyes prick with tears, caught between the ache that Nick isn't touching me there of his own volition, and the belief that on some level, he must be.
The warring emotions inside me are obliterated when Nick rolls my nipple under his fingertip. A whine rips from my throat, and my back arches into his touch as he rubs and pinches it mercilessly. I bring my fist to my mouth, biting down on my finger to muffle my noises.
“Char, baby, fuck …” Nick mutters, stopping my heart. He sounds so coherent that I have to look down at him to make sure he isn't actually awake.
No, still sleeping. But I can't believe him saying my name was just a coincidence anymore. Baby. He called me baby.
I feel dizzy, my heart pounding and my whole body trembling at the idea that Nick might actually want this with me not in his dreams.
Nick's hand slides down, so much faster than I'm expecting him to move. Before I know it he's slipping under the waistband of my sleep shorts and my pants. I think wildly that he's going straight for my pussy lips, which have flooded up with slick, but he stops short when he reaches the patch of curls above my folds, his fingers digging into the hair there.
“Fuck,” he whispers again, rutting against me. I somehow manage to flush even hotter, my cock pulsing at the idea that Nick is enjoying my body. I'm already a slave to his touch; I pray for him to continue, my moral compass having fucked off for the night.
After teasing and tugging at my curls, Nick moves lower again, and I rejoice. I spread my legs as much as I can with his tree trunk thigh sprawled over me, wanting to make it as easy as possible for him to explore my soaking pussy.
Nick reaches my wetness and moans as he feels me for the first time. “Fuck, Char…” he mumbles as he plays with my slippery folds. He slides over my clit, and I have to cover my mouth to keep from crying out.
I'm all but convinced he's dreaming of me. I know it's wrong, but it's enough for my lustful mind to justify letting him continue – no, encouraging him to continue. There's something so fucking hot about giving a sleeping, innocent Nick just what he wants. I want to give him everything .
While Nick is soaking his fingers playing with my pussy, I carefully pull on the bit of my shirt that's stuck under his face. I manage to remove it without disturbing him. I gently put my hand on the back of his neck, pressing his face against my chest, my nipple grazing his mouth.
He must have felt it, because he wraps those pretty pink lips around it like such a good boy. I bite my lip and moan in the back of my throat as he suckles and flicks the nub with his tongue, continuing to hold his head down with my fingers buried in his hair.
My attention is diverted when I feel one of his fingers circling my hole. I gasp and clench around nothing, trying to tempt him inside. I'm rewarded a moment later as one thick finger slips inside me, all the way to the last knuckle. I whimper and squeeze around it, my eyes and pussy fluttering.
Even in sleep, Nick knows what to do. His finger curls inside me, rubbing against that super sensitive spot on my front wall. I whine and press into his touch, shaking from the attention to both my chest and my pussy. I gasp his name, uncaring if he wakes up as I am so lost to the pleasure.
“More, Nick, please!” I beg. I'm sceptical that his sleeping brain can parse what I'm asking for, so I let out a surprised moan when he presses a second finger inside me. He thrusts them in and out while I clench around him. I lift my head and murmur filthily, “Yes, baby, fuck my wet little cunt. You're so good.”
Nick shifts, his lips separating from my nipple to begin laying kisses over my skin. He mumbles my name, and it zings through my body every time. I'm grinding against his hand, tightening my cunt around him as hard as I can. A few moments later, I'm rewarded with three fingers. I cry out; the stretch is so good , but it makes me ache to be stuffed with Nick's cock.
I need it – even if it's not to have it inside me (yet). Nick has continued to rut against me, so I look down and see that his pants have slipped a short way down his hips in the process. His tip is poking out the top now, shiny with his precum; saliva floods my mouth at the sight.
I reach over with my right hand. It's a struggle, but I manage to grasp the waistband of his pants and carefully tug them down. I tuck his underwear beneath his balls, my eyes greedily taking in the length and girth of him. New slick spurts over Nick's fingers at the thought of getting that thick hotness inside me.
Mouth dripping with anticipation, I wrap my fingers around his shaft. My eyes roll back and my cunt spasms around his fingers at the feel of his warm, velvety skin, the way it slides over the rock-hard centre of his arousal. He whimpers under my touch, thrusting into my grip, and it makes me feel powerful . I rub my thumb over his sensitive head, smearing his wetness all around his foreskin and his mushroom tip. I am whining and squeezing up hard on Nick's fingers, desperate to have that gorgeous dick buried so deep, all the way to the hilt in my needy, dripping cunt.
“Nick, baby,” I pant into his ear, my voice pleading, “it's Charlie, your Char. Your cock looks so good, Nick. I need it in me so bad, need you to split my pussy open and make me scream.”
He's biting his lip and breathing heavily. His fingers have gone still inside me, in favour of his hips chasing the tightness of my fist.
“Do you want that, too, Nick? Do you want to fuck me? Do you want your Charlie to make your cock feel good with his tight little cunt?”
Nick's eyebrows furrow and his head moves in something approaching a nod. “Char, baby, please…” he moans, but that's not good enough.
I let go of his cock and remove his fingers, then use my weight to push him off me and onto his back. Miraculously, he still sleeps.
I really do want to fuck him, but now that I'm not trapped underneath his bulk, I can't take my eyes off that gorgeous dick. I shuck all my clothing and crawl between his legs. Taking his tip in my mouth, I hungrily lick up all the precum gathered there.
Nick gasps and moans, burying his fingers in my hair and humping my face. I just suck and let him hold me on his cock, my pussy throbbing and gushing from the fact that, even in sleep, Nick is using me for his pleasure. I happily drool all over his dick while he holds me in place, enjoying watching my saliva slide down his pulsing shaft. I rub my aching clit and whine around my mouthful of cock, my juices dripping down my thighs and leaking all over the bed.
I suck until I can't take it anymore; my empty hole needs to be stuffed and fucked, now . I lift myself off with an obscene noise, gasping and swallowing, but I don't bother cleaning up my dripping chin and throat. I scramble up the bed, leaning close to Nick's ear while gently stroking the opposite side of his face.
“Nick, baby, I need you to fuck me so bad. If you want that too, if you want to fuck Charlie, please say ‘yes’ for me, just say ‘yes,’ baby.” My rational brain is offline, completely overcome by lust. In the heat of the moment, this piss poor excuse for consent is all I need to put my mind at ease.
I hold my breath as Nick whimpers and mumbles, until a desperate “Yes” crosses his lips. I exhale in relief.
“Oh, thank you baby, fuck , we're gonna make each other feel so, so good.” I kiss him on the lips.
Straddling his hips and holding his cock in place, I lower my entrance to his head and move in circles, coating it in my juices – fuck that feels good . He whimpers and clutches the sheets, and I am heady with power.
I don't have much patience for teasing myself, though, so I begin to descend, moaning like a needy slut as Nick's head pops inside me. The stretch is phenomenal . He's so big that it's a little bit painful, but I love the pain – to me, it's a signal that Nick is stretching out my little body, forcing my pussy to fit his thick, demanding cock so he can use it for his own pleasure.
I slowly slide up and down on the bit of his dick I've got inside me, smothering him in my juices. I continue until he has stretched me out enough to more comfortably accommodate his girth. I take more of him when I'm ready, whimpering and cursing as he stretches more and more of me out, deeper and deeper, his presence inside of me now just on the pleasurable side of pain. It feels like his cock is never going to end, until it finally does, and I rest my trembling legs. I can't stop groaning at how deliciously stuffed I feel, all the way to my core. I close my eyes and savour the fullness, the gratifying pulse of Nick's fat, juicy cock throbbing inside of my tight, needy little cunt.
When I open my eyes, Nick is staring back at me.
💚🤍🩵💙
“N—Nick?” I squeak, startled. My arousal is suddenly the furthest thing from my mind as my stomach drops, the gravity of what I've done slamming down on my body and suffocating me. Is this it? I wonder in terror. Is it all over?
“Ch—Charlie, what…?” He seems too stunned to even know what to ask.
I panic as it all comes crashing down around me, tears springing to my eyes as I desperately try to explain and rationalise and salvage.
“Nick, I… I woke up and you were wrapped around me.” My voice is trembling like nothing else. My reasoning now sounds batshit insane to me, but I push forward anyway, because it's all I have. “You were hard and you started touching me and I just couldn't stop you, because I… I've wanted this for so long, because I'm… I'm in love with you!” I quickly cover my mouth with my hands – not because my words are false, but because I never imagined this would be how I would tell him. “ Fuck , I know this is the shittiest way to tell you that, but it's been true for so long!”
I give in to the sobbing, tears running down my cheeks, my ears ringing. I cover my face in shame, unable to continue being perceived by Nick, even though I haven't had a good look at him since his eyes opened.
“I'm so sorry, I fucked up so badly – I'm so fucked up, you must hate me!” I cry and hiccup even as I'm still seated on his cock, too afraid to move.
“ Charlie !” loud and sharp, pierces through my hysteria, Nick sounding like he's been trying to get my attention. My sobs halt for a startled second, then continue as I hunch into myself and cower, terrified of how upset with me he must be. I'm realising, with horror, that just because he was dreaming of me doesn't mean he actually wanted—
I'm torn from my sickening thoughts when Nick suddenly sits up, wrapping his arms around me. I don't deserve his comfort, but I melt into it anyway, tightly gripping his skin and wailing against his shoulder as his hands run up and down my back. It takes me a minute to even notice, but he's kissing my face – that is, he's kissing the tears from my face.
I'm still scared, but now I'm also confused, especially once my hearing returns and I realise that he's been murmuring my name and “baby” over and over again. I still can't gather the courage to meet his eyes, but I'm finally able to let my tears start to subside, hoping that he'll speak as my sobs die down to hiccups.
He does.
“Char? Can you look at me, sweetheart?”
I want to be able to, but I'm so scared. I shake my head, my eyes stinging and my lip starting to wobble again. He shushes me and tries to calm me down.
“Hey, that's okay, you don't have to look at me yet.” I nod in agreement, new tears silently spilling over. Nick sighs, and I feel like the worst person to have ever disgraced the face of the earth.
“Charlie… look. I know that, morally, what you did was wrong. But… if you're fucked up, then…” —I watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows— “then you must be in good company, because… I think I'm pretty fucked up, too,” he finishes in a whisper.
His admission does the job of getting me to look at him – my head snaps up in shock. The best way I can think to describe his expression is “guilt-ridden,” but… that doesn't make any sense. I tilt my head to the side, silently conveying my confusion.
Nick looks down shyly, and when he looks back up, I finally recognise the heat there. My own eyes widen, and my breath catches.
“I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not exactly… turned off , if you know what I mean.” His face is beautifully flushed, his fair complexion making it clear even in the moonlight.
Now that he's mentioned it, I notice that he's still hard inside me. I squeeze him in acknowledgement, and he groans.
“Charlie… I—I'm in love with you, too.”
My jaw falls open, which is something I always thought only happened in cartoons. Nick pulls me close to whisper in my ear; his voice is shaking.
“And waking up with you riding my cock is the hottest fucking thing that's ever happened to me.”
An electric current travels the length of my body, ending at my pussy and pulsing in bursts of sparks. I whimper and wriggle on Nick's cock, pushing him back so I can look at him.
“So, you don't… you're not upset with me, then?” I feel vulnerable and needy as I stare up at him, hope fizzing inside my heart.
Nick shakes his head, and a wave of relief crashes over me, so strong it leaves me swaying and dizzy. I feel him push back a curl that's fallen in my face.
“I guess I probably should be, but… I've wanted you for so long, and I'm just so happy that you want me, too.”
I cradle his face in my hands and kiss him, fiercely and hungrily. I feel giddy as he kisses me back with just as much fervour.
“I'm sorry I took the choice away from you,” I whisper against his lips, remorse shaping the intensity of my voice.
He shakes his head and kisses me again, desperately, heatedly. His voice lowers to an unfamiliar growl, and I nearly pass out at what he says.
“You can make it up to me by being a good boy and giving me this sweet little pussy, Char. Fuck , you have no idea how long I've wanted to stuff you full of it.”
“Oh— oh my god , Nick ,” I moan, clutching him and feeling my cunt flutter and gush around him. “I'm— I'm not used to you being s—so…” I stutter, flustered by Nick's unexpected brazenness.
He chuckles sheepishly. “I know, me neither,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. His face glows pink in the moonlight, and he seems for all the world to be the sweet boy-next-door I've always known. “I've certainly never been like this with anyone else. But, Char, even in my fantasies, you just make me….” He trails off and swallows hard. My heart pounds and my mouth is dry at the implication.
“Anyway, I need to see you, before we do anything else,” he insists. “You don't know how much I've been dying to see how cute you are down there.” My face flames and I let out an undignified squeak.
“I'm turning the light on.” He looks at me and waits for my assent. All I can do is nod, my mind and my pussy flooding with the desire to do anything the normally sweet, deferential Nick says when he sounds so bossy and self-assured.
Nick switches on the bedside lamp, then lays me back, my head now at the foot of the bed. He caresses my body as he sits up, his hand making a gentle start down my cheek before sliding over my chest and tummy. He plays with the dark hair of my happy trail – aptly named for how happy I am to have it – then moves both hands to my hips. My cock pulses as I watch his eyes greedily drink in my body before landing on the place where we're joined. I squeeze around his stiffness, savouring the low hum he gives me.
Nick drags his hands down, toward the centre of me, where his gaze is intently fixed. I whimper as I feel his thumbs press my lips back, fully exposing the exact point where he disappears inside me. He moans quietly, then slowly pulls all the way out of me. I gasp and whine at suddenly feeling so empty, my legs attempting to squeeze together to compensate; Nick shushes me and holds my thighs apart, however. His dominion over my body sends little pulses of pleasure through my pussy.
Before I know it, Nick is on his stomach before me, knees bent, shins against the headboard. I'm momentarily distracted by the soles of his feet and the definition in his calves before he re-captures my attention.
“Fuck,” he groans, delicately petting the hair above my lips, gliding his fingers through my damp folds. He places one at my entrance, swirling it around just inside. The thumb of his other hand dips inside me and trails my wetness upwards; I cry out as it settles onto my clit, rubbing in all different directions as though he's testing to see which one causes the most intense reaction. My legs tremble and I spurt a little around his finger. The way he bites his lip and stares at my cunt with such awe makes me ache and shiver.
“ Charlie… I've been such an idiot , haven't I? I could've had this perfect little pussy all to myself for so long now.” I whimper at the desire and genuine regret in his voice, heat rising to every surface of my skin. “God, just look at you,” he murmurs. Two fingers slip inside me, exploring curiously. “These pretty lips. You have the cutest little cunt I've ever seen .” His fingers rub along my front wall, and I shudder and whine, clenching around him.
I am devastated when he pulls his fingers out, until I feel his hot breath fanning over me. I start when his tongue makes contact, tracing around my entrance then flitting across my lips, tasting and teasing them. He licks my slick from them, then playfully tugs on them with his own lips.
Meanwhile, I'm squirming and tossing my head, moaning with abandon. I press my cunt up against his hungry mouth and pull his head down against it, and he doesn't fight it; no, he buries his mouth and nose into me and thrusts his tongue inside me, his fingers digging into my cheeks to let me know how badly he wants it. His growls reverberate through my pussy as we both try to drown him in it. My toes curl while I squeal and clench and coat his tongue with more and more fresh wetness. He curves his tongue, scooping and slurping the juices that seem to flow endlessly from the depths of me. He sucks at my hole and presses his nose into me hard, coating more than half of his face in my slick. “Niiiiiiick!” I whine, shaking against him.
Nick slurps and sucks and slobbers, soaking my pussy with his saliva while I give as good as I get, drowning him in my juices. He finally pulls back with an exaggerated gasp, panting and grunting as he shifts back onto his knees. Before I can complain, he's lining his cock back up with my hole and sliding it home, sinking all the way back in like he belongs there, like my body exists just to be filled to the brim by his fat cock.
I keen sharply, reaching out for him. He takes my hand, squeezing it tightly in his own. “Fuck, Charlie!” he growls. His face is feral and glistening with my juices in the lamplight; I feel a delicious sense of pride and satisfaction, even as he begins to pound my squelching hole. I grab the sheets with my other hand, holding on for dear life.
“ God , baby boy, your cunt is the sweetest fucking thing I've ever tasted . I can't believe I get to have you whenever I want, now.” He rails me while I make all manner of depraved sounds, drunk on the feel of his commanding cock owning my body.
“I couldn't help but notice you didn't put a condom on me, though, Charlie,” he pants with a roguish grin.
Though it's apparent on his face, Nick's light-heartedness doesn't reach me; he may as well have dumped a bucket of ice water over my head. He doesn't seem upset, but I feel so embarrassed now he's dragged yet another of my trespasses against him out into the light. I'm too mortified to speak, but I force myself to apologise because he deserves it.
“I'm so sorry. I just…” I trail off and look off to the side, reeling from the emotional whiplash as tears prickle at my eyes.
Nick slows to a stop and leans down, resting his elbows on either side of me. His voice is gentle, but insistent. “Hey, Char, no.” He slides his fingers soothingly through my hair, and my lip trembles. “I was just teasing you, darling, I didn't mean for you to feel bad. I think it's so hot, Charlie, and, well… I'll be honest: I was actually sort of fishing for why you didn't use one.” I look back at him in surprise, blinking away the tears, only to see that his cheeks have gone extra rosy. “I wondered if you were just in a hurry, or….”
“Or?” I ask shyly, tilting my head.
“Or… if you specifically wanted me to come inside you.”
“ Oh ,” I breathe, blushing in what I hope is an attractive manner. “I mean, yes, I was in a hurry, but that's not really why. If I'm honest, well… yeah ,” I admit, being purposely vague in my demurity.
It's enough, though, that Nick groans. “ Fuck . Yeah, baby? Tell me more, please?”
My heart speeds up, fluttering pleasantly as I decide to be a little more filthy, like he seems to want. “I… I want you to fill me up, want you to flood me with it. I… I want you to claim my pussy with your cum, mark it all up inside and out so I know it belongs only to you .”
A guttural moan escapes Nick's throat. He presses his face into my neck, kissing and biting me there ferociously. “ Fuck , baby boy, yes . Oh, Charlie, do you mean it?”
God , he sounds like I gifted him his very favourite thing in the whole wide world. I flush happily, and he pulls back and looks at me imploringly.
“Are you telling me this sweet little pussy is all for me?”
I manage to nod, even though I feel lightheaded and am distracted by a surge of slick cascading down his cock.
Nick takes my hips back in hand and fucks into me, slow and deep like a promise, while I whimper and squeeze up tight around him. He leans close again, breath hot against my skin.
“You don't know how often I've dreamed about pumping this pretty pussy so full of my cum, Charlie, my god . You're such a good boy for me, keeping my cock nice and wet and warm. Such a good fucking boy.”
Holy fuck, he sounds wrecked . Our gazes lock, and I feel the enormity of our togetherness reach down my throat and take hold in my chest – blossoming, unfurling, seeping into every incomplete fibre of my being. This exquisite man drives his most intimate parts in and out of my own, and in doing so finally scratches an itch I've had so deep inside me for years now. The euphoria of this moment is threatening to burst my entire body at the seams.
Nick leans back, and I put up no resistance as he lifts my legs onto his shoulders. I feel my cunt tighten around him; he feels even bigger inside me, and I moan to let him know how much I love the stretch of him.
“Charlie, baby,” he drawls, eyes half-lidded as he watches himself move in and out of me. “You're so tight, sweetheart, you must be so little . I can't believe you even got me to fit inside you. It doesn't hurt, does it, my fat cock stretching out this tiny little pussy?”
“Oh fuck!” bursts abruptly out of me in a broken whimper. Who knew that sweet, golden retriever Nicholas Nelson had such a delectably filthy mouth? And how does he know exactly what I love to hear? Are we really as perfect for each other as I've always dreamed? My cunt floods around him in appreciation of the way he talks dirty to me. I bite my lip and look coyly up at him through my lashes. My tender heart is beating so quickly in my chest; I hope he responds to what I plan to say in the way I want him to – in the way that will drive me wild.
“It… it doesn't hurt anymore, but it did at first. I… I didn't want to stop, though. Honestly, I… I liked it.”
“Oh, baby boy ,” he coos, sending giddy arousal fizzing through my veins. “You like that I'm so big, hey? Did you like the way my cock split you open, the way it broke in your tight little cunt?”
I moan helplessly, throaty and desperate. His thrusts are measured, deliberate, as if to emphasise the fact that he is doing just that – splitting me open, breaking me in.
“ Yes ,” I whine, making wanton little noises, hoping to come across as sexy and innocent and submissive.
Nick looks down at me in wonder. “ God , Charlie, you're so fucking precious, my sweet boy. You don't know how long I've wanted this, how many nights I've dreamt of you in my bed and on my cock. You're more perfect than I ever imagined.”
I whimper and cling to him, basking in the bliss of my dreams coming true.
But there's something else I want. Something more .
“Nick, can I…” I start off shyly. “Can I ask for something? Please?”
He looks at me with eager delight; it's as if by asking him this, I've given him everything he could ever want. “Anything, Char,” he says, reverentially .
My face flushes hot, overcome by his ardour, but also embarrassed at the thought of what I want. I hesitate, those silly words stuck in my throat.
“Are you shy, baby?” Nick purrs. “You can whisper it in my ear, if that's easier.”
My anxiety eases. I nod gratefully, and he puts his ear to my lips. I lick them nervously, and he shudders as I touch his ear with my tongue. I gather my courage.
“I… I want you to ragdoll me,” I whisper shakily. “I want you to make me scream .” The burn spreads to my ears, my neck, my shoulders.
A tortured moan wrenches itself out of Nick's throat, as though he is powerless to stop it.
“Fuck, Charlie. Fuck ,” he growls, sending shivers through my body. He pulls back and meets my gaze, his eyes stormy with lust. “I'll do it, baby. But you tell me if you want me to stop, okay? Anytime at all. Are you ready?”
I take a deep breath, then nod.
🩷💜💙
I can't believe this is actually happening. I can't believe this is my life. Charlie is so gorgeous beneath me, flushed and glossy-eyed and desperate for me. The way his glistening cunt wraps around my thickness is almost too much to take. This cunt is all mine ; it makes me want to growl and beat my chest like an untamed beast.
I take a deep breath, and then – all too happily – I give Charlie what he wants. Grabbing his hips firmly, I slide almost all the way out of his tight, sopping wet heat. His gorgeous blue eyes are locked on mine, full of love and trust and unquenchable need . I pause for a breath that feels interminable, brimming with anticipation.
The moment snaps; I pound back into his pussy, and I don't stop . My hips rock rapidly against him, my jaw going slack, lips drying out as Charlie's velvet heat envelops me again and again. He whines and moans so beautifully, which only makes me clench my teeth and grunt and fuck into him harder and harder. I don't hold his hips still; I drag them on and off my cock as I slam it into him, using his sweet little cunt just the way he wants me to. That, combined with how violently I'm fucking him, has the desired effect of shaking his entire body like a ragdoll. His wrecked voice bounces helplessly along with my thrusts, and fuck I love him so much. The way he loves and trusts me with his body like this has my chest swelling with adoration.
“ Fuck I love you Charlie,” I grind out, eyes darting from his pussy to his face and back. “I wish you could see how g—gorgeous you are with my cock ruining your greedy little cunt. You're creaming all over me, you b—beautiful fucking boy. Your pretty pussy just loves being destroyed by my fat cock, doesn't it, baby?”
“Fu— u— uck!” is all Charlie can manage to wail, his face scrunched in overwhelming pleasure, his arms akimbo and bouncing beside him.
I continue to growl filthy things to him while I fuck his brains out, the tight, slick-soaked grip of his messy cunt driving me out of my mind. When I think I can't take much more – and I feel I've given him the good, hard fucking he deserves – I move us along.
“I think it's time for you to come, sweetheart,” I purr. Fuck , I'm beside myself, elated for him to come on my cock for the very first time.
I adjust my right hand on his hip, stretching my thumb down to rub over his swollen, pulsing clit. A hot sense of pride blooms in my chest as his moans turn to outright screams . He writhes and grabs fruitlessly at the sheets as I bear down on his no doubt aching cock, while the rock-hard length of me ravages his pussy.
I release my grip on his hip and switch to my middle and forefinger, stroking them over his clit at breakneck speed. He keens and stares at me with wide eyes, then gives me just what I was craving.
Hot, clear liquid squirts out at me, dowsing my fingers and hitting my stomach. I pull out of him so I can lean down while I work his clit, growling gutturally as he squirms and squeals and sprays my face. I make sure he watches as I continuously lick his juices from my lips and moan, my eyes rolling back and fluttering.
I eventually switch back to my thumb, rubbing his cock with slow, deep strokes. He's crying, now – I ask him if he wants me to stop, to which he vehemently says no, so I guide my own cock back into his needy, welcoming hole. I sigh and close my eyes as I slip back inside him, his dripping folds already feeling like home. The way he is so overcome with pleasure, whimpering and trembling and sobbing, breaks me down in the best fucking way.
I open my eyes and murmur to him what a good fucking boy he is, how I never want to be with anyone else, how gorgeous he is all fucked out because of me . It only takes a few more moments of stroking, thrusting, and worshiping before he's throwing his head back and screaming . His paradisiac pussy pulses helplessly around me, gripping me and gushing, drenching my dick in his sweet slick. I praise him through it, tears springing to my own eyes that I get to have him this way – that he's mine forever now, and I get to be his.
Charlie squirms as I continue to fuck him, likely overstimulated but not asking me to stop; have I mentioned what a good fucking boy he is?
“Charlie, baby, god you're so fucking pretty. You felt so perfect, coming all over my cock like such a good boy,” I coo at him. He's looking up at me as if through a haze, a dopey smile fighting against his open-mouthed moans. He's so gorgeous.
“Fuck, Charlie, I'm gonna come in you now, okay sweetheart?” I grunt, feeling it build inside me. “You'll be good and take it all for me, won't you?”
Charlie looks up at me like I hung the moon. My teeth clatter with arousal when he bites his lip and nods obediently.
“Please, Nick, please come in my pussy.” My jaw goes slack at the warm sensuality of his voice, enticing with more than a hint of begging. “I want you to fuck every last drop into me. God, you're so big it's gonna go so deep in me, isn't it? I need it, Nick – need you to claim me, need you to drench my walls with it, paint my pussy all white and pretty with your cum,” he begs.
“Holy f—fuck ,” I groan, rapidly approaching the edge. “Char, you're so— so fucking good for me, baby boy. This sweet— this sweet little pussy's all mine . Gonna fill it up just like you want, Char, gonna fucking drown your cunt in my hot cum, you g—gorgeous thing,” I stutter as I pound him as hard as I can, my hands undoubtedly leaving bruises on his delicate hips.
Charlie is stroking his clit and whining as I fuck him, his face twisted in what could be agony but I know in my bones is ecstasy. He sobs and squeezes up around me again, coming on my cock for the second time, and it's all too much: it's that sinfully tight, wet heat throbbing around my dick; it's that beautiful face, tormented with pleasure; and it's the thought of how greedy the man I love is for my cum, how badly he wants me to fuck it deep inside his aching pussy, that send me careening over the edge.
I growl out my undying love for him as I pump his thirsty little cunt full of my cum. I'm dizzy with it as wave after wave of my orgasm rolls over me, translating into rope after hot rope of my spend shooting deep into Charlie's ravenous body. My hips undulate against his, fulfilling my primal instinct to pack my mate as full of as much of my seed as possible.
I collapse on top of him as my cock continues to pulse and spurt inside him, holding myself up on my forearms so I don't crush him or cover him in my sweat. He makes a noise of protest and pulls down on my back, however, so I gently lower myself onto him completely, sighing in exhausted contentment. His whole body rises and lowers in an answering sigh. I've started kissing his collarbone without even realising it, but I don't stop once I do.
“I love you so fucking much,” I murmur dazedly against his skin.
Charlie pulls me down tight, wiggling his hips and whispering, “I love you so fucking much, too.”
I smile and chuckle in my throat, nuzzling against him. We're in love; as far as I'm concerned, that's the only thing that matters.