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Sonny knew five minutes into their first meeting that it would be their last interview. Sophia was bubbly and bright, with an intelligent gaze and an easy laugh. Born and raised in Manhattan, she had gone to school for mathematics and computer science, and had been snapped up by a profitable start-up company the second she'd graduated. 

Rafael hadn't said anything about it yet, but Sonny had seen the subtle shift in his husband's shoulders when Sophia mentioned that while she wasn't Cuban, her family did hail from the Dominican Republic. "Well, half, really. On my dad's side. I was raised by my Mom mainly and her family's old Manhattan, but she tried to keep some of Dad's culture around for me, y'know? Can't speak Spanish for shit, though. My girlfriend can and she's always teasing me about it."

She told them that her father had died when she'd been young. "My dad was larger than life, yeah? Him going out from a hit and run? Just didn't make any sense. But, I was only ten, I guess." She shrugged with a nonchalance that probably came from having to repeat the story over and over. But it was obvious that she had loved the man. Still did, even in death. 

Sophia had clearly gotten her dad's looks, though. With dark hair, light eyes, and a long nose, she cut a striking figure. Sonny wouldn't have been surprised if the agency hadn't matched them because of it, among other reasons. They were paying an arm and a leg for the honour, after all.

She'd smiled and both Sonny and Rafael had found themselves smiling back with every instance. The café had eventually had to kick them out a half hour after closing time.

Everything after their first meeting seemed to go at break-neck speed and before they knew it, Rafael and Sonny had a three-month-pregnant woman to take care of and a new two-bedroom condo to move into.

Well, Sophia had made it clear that she could very much take care of herself, but that didn't stop the couple from lending a hand. Nor did it stop them from inviting her over for dinner every week when she had the time, or getting her the best pregnancy products money could buy (Sonny had once found Rafael hunched over his computer late at night with endless tabs open filled with maternity pillows).

Energetic excitement was in the air. It was palpable to the point where Sonny was being called out at work, with Amanda giving him odd looks and Fin rolling his eyes even more than normal. Rafael was having to field leading questions from Olivia whenever they saw each other, and even his mother was getting suspicious. They would have to make the announcement soon.

Not a gender reveal, they weren't fussed either way, but just an introduction to let the Squad know that yes, they were about to be fathers in the coming months and yes, they were too scared to even register their fear.

They told their families first.

Serafina had clutched her hands to her chest before smothering both men in kisses and immediately rattling off every baby-related thing they'd amassed over the years. Dom Sr. had clapped Sonny on the shoulder in congratulations, bestowing on his son and son-in-law his blessings and spouting off three Dad Jokes in record time.

Lucia had had a more measured reaction. She was still warming up to Sonny, despite him having been with her son for some time now, and had narrowed her eyes a little at their announcement. Sonny had thought that his relationship with his mother-in-law might improve after the wedding, but it was still progressing at a somewhat glacial pace. He remained optimistic, though. Once assured that Sonny wasn't trying to babytrap Rafael (how that would work through surrogacy he had yet to figure out), and that Sophia wasn't carrying their baby for any malicious purposes (apparently Lucia had read some very interesting and quite specific articles) she had taken to becoming a grandmother with her usual no-nonsense attitude. Sonny was sure she would win awards for it if they existed.

Their plans to tell the squad went awry when Sophia showed up at the precinct, her stomach showing enough to make it very clear that she was pregnant, and headed straight to Sonny. The looks he received from his fellows had made the back of his neck prickle. Thankfully, Rafael had been in the room with him at the time, having been called in by Olivia, so he wouldn't be alone.

"'Nother sister of yours, Carisi?" Fin joked, leaning back where he sat on the corner of his desk.

"Did we forget a lunch meet?" Rafael ignored Fin's teasing of Sonny, instead turning to Sophia, who smiled with a shake of her head.

"No, no. Me and Priya were just at the place around the corner and I thought you'd like something." She lifted the bag of cookies and two cups of coffee higher. "I took a chance that you'd both be here."

Eyebrows were rising rapidly as she passed over the treats to a steadily reddening Sonny. 

"Thank you," Rafael said. "Are you sure you're okay, though? I know how tired you were yesterday."

"Yes, I'm fine. God, you guys are such dads already and the kid's not even here yet."

The silence that followed her comment was so complete Sonny could swear he heard even the cabs outside stop moving.

"Okay, am I missing something here?" Olivia was finally the first to break the silence, her eyes boring into the back of Rafael's head as he helped Sophia into a nearby chair. "Have you entered a triple and not told anyone?"

"Throuple, Lieu," Dodds supplied unhelpfully. Olivia turned her glare to him and he raised his hands in mock surrender.

"We're not in a throuple." Sonny sounded tired as he turned to face the music, running a hand down his cheek before speaking. "This is Sophia, she's..." he took a second to glance at Rafael, smiling at the little nod he got in return. "She's our surrogate."

An explosion of excitement burst from the little group. Mike clapped Sonny on the back before crushing him in a hug and later giving Rafael a firm handshake. Rollins immediately punched Sonny in the arm and scolded him for not telling her first while simultaneously insisting to Rafael that she had to be the godmother without question. Fin congratulated them both with a handshake that knowing smile of his; Rafael wouldn't have been surprised if he'd guessed their news before the reveal. (How, he couldn't guess. Fin was just Fin, and the man always just knew.).

"We were going to take you all to dinner for an official announcement, but I guess that cat's left the bag." Sonny beamed, but was still pink from being caught so off guard.

At the first chance she got, Olivia pulled Rafael into a tight hug before he could say anything. 

"You'll be fighting Rollins behind the precinct tonight for godmother status, I assume?" His teasing was light as the pair watched everyone rush to meet Sophia, with Sonny making sure it didn't get too excitable - he was always on about her blood pressure.

"As if we'd need to fight," Olivia jokingly scoffed. "I'm sure we'll just compete by giving you more and more baby gifts until we decide to team up and be co-godmother."

"God, you're right, that's exactly what's going to happen." Rafael bemoaned as they watched the happy chaos unfold before them. 

He hadn't even been able to find an avenue to be actually irritated by the logistics of it all - of all the aunts and uncles and godparents and traditions - not when Sophia was looking so carefree, laughing along to whatever ribbing Rollins was throwing Carisi's way. Not when Sonny met his eyes and fixed him with a gaze so full of affection that Rafael felt his chest ache. 

He smiled without even thinking about it.

"It feels wrong being in here."

Rafael stepped over an abandoned pacifier on the floor as he followed Sonny through the aisles of a mid-range baby store.

"Dads do exist, Raf," Sonny said with a chuckle. He tossed yet another bottle into their basket. "I would'a hoped you'd know that by now."

"They normally come with their kids," Rafael snarked, picking up something unnecessarily frilly and overly floral. He tossed it back down and surreptitiously wiped his hand on his coat, like the babygrow had contaminated him. He added something tastefully floral to the basket as they continued on towards the back of the shop. Sonny had mentioned something earlier about toy trains. The man in question turned around with a sigh and rested the basket on his cocked out hip. 

"Do you want to leave? You're being bitchier than normal."

Rafael's eyes lingered on the alphabetical onesies that Sonny had stopped in front of. The letters were all shaped like animals. It was infuriatingly adorable. He shuffled out of the way of a pissed off looking woman carrying three cases of diapers that teetered dangerously as she hurried away.

"I'm not being anything," he said, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Are you stressed? Is that what this is?" Sonny didn't let up. He could always tell when Rafael needed a little needling to get to the root of his bad moods. "You don't gotta be stressed, Rafi. We couldn't be more ready. We're literally only here right now for trains." He ignored the pile of other baby stuff that had been growing steadily since they'd first crossed the store’s threshold.

Rafael huffed and threw up his arms in a gesture that Sonny recognized as one he'd inherited from his mother. Lucia Barba had been at their place more often than not as the due date approached, all but breathing down Rafael's neck with her classic act of overbearing motherly nitpicking barely disguised as concern that she had perfected over the years. They both knew she did it because she cared, anxious for her first ever grandchild's arrival; something that she had mostly given up on. Sonny should've guessed that it would set Rafael on edge more than usual. Sophia's due date was rapidly approaching, and they were all feeling the nervous anticipation beginning to rise.

"Ready? Ready?!" Rafael let out a strained laugh and gestured at the wall of newborn clothes behind his husband. "We're buying all this crap, putting cribs together, changing insurances. Fuck, Sonny, we moved for this-" he broke off and huffed again. "How can we be ready for a baby when we can't even decide on a name for them?"

Sonny's expression softened and he moved to still Rafael's frantic hands by running his own gently down the other man's arms. Once he had a good hold, Sonny smiled. 

"My parents didn't pick Bella's name until the actual last second. They were still arguing about it when they were literally at the registration."

Rafael grumbled and frowned, avoiding meeting Sonny's eyes. Failing terribly when Sonny nudged at his chin, tilting it up with a raise of his eyebrows.

"We have time, Rafi. It's fine. You'll just have to fight Ma off with a stick if she starts listing her choices again."

That managed to draw a little smirk across Rafael's face and he closed his eyes to calm himself down. The whole name debacle had been stressing him out from the moment they'd had the news that their little baby had taken root.

Serafina was pushing for tradition if it was a boy, insisting that the first born son of the first born son must be named after his grandfather. Sonny, apparently, found this rather amusing, as the paternal side of his family had never really subscribed to that particular tradition. According to Sonny, his father had actually been named after Domenico Modugno, his madre’s favourite singer. Still, Domenico III had been the only name on their list that never changed. Rafael had yet to admit it, even to himself, but something about Sonny sharing a name, a legacy, with their kid made his chest all warm. And he had yet to hear Sonny voice any kind of opposition to his mother's choice.

Sonny himself was still vying for Clementine if they were a girl, but Rafael was not going to be naming his (likely) only child after a fruit, thank you very much. No matter how pretty it sounded. He personally liked Julieta. One thing they both agreed on if their child was a girl, was that one of the names she would carry would be Rafael's abuela's. Catalina was a name that neither could find fault in, especially considering who they were getting it from.

Rafael was still mulling over boy names, having had a few swimming around at the back of his mind for some months now. Sebastian and Ignacio were in the lead, with Julian heading up the rear. Sonny liked Ignacio, if only for the nickname opportunities. His eyes wandered back to the wall of onesies, Sonny's gaze following along. Rafael heard him make a sympathetic cluck at the back of his tongue. 

The taller man set their shopping basket on the floor and maneuvered himself to stand behind Rafael, circling his arms around the other's waist and tucking his chin over Barba's shoulder. The store was quiet enough that their public affection wasn't likely to be noticed.

Rafael reached out to run his fingers over an absolutely miniscule orange onesie, the letter 'I' on the front was made to look like a giraffe sitting down. The animal was smiling and wearing an inexplicable pair of glasses. Rafael felt a wall of emotion hit him and he swallowed thickly, letting his hand drop to his side. 

"We could get one of each," Sonny said softly in his ear. "The whole alphabet. Set up a display in the nursery; maybe we can get the kid to pick one and name 'em like that. “Oh, they like the K, guess we're going with Kevin.”."

"I'm not naming our child Kevin,"

Sonny snorted a laugh as he peeled himself away from Rafael, giving his arm a little squeeze before picking up the basket.

"Kylie, then. Then you won't be able to get her out of your head." Rafael shook his aforementioned head, his anxiously hammering heart finally starting to slow down. How dare Sonny always know how to calm him. 

"I'm sorry," he said, turning away from the clothes racks and giving Sonny a small, sheepish smile. 

"Don't be, babe. I know you're worried about 'lil Topo's name, but it'll be fine. I promise. And hey, we can always just call them 'Hey You'." Sonny ducked down to peck Rafael's cheek, his smile warm and open. He pulled back and pointed to the back corner of the shop. "Now, trains are back there. You go scope out what one you like, I gotta ask someone about formula brands first - I'll be with you in a sec. And if we don't leave here with at least three trains, I'm naming our kid The Fat Controller."

The tease was enough to shake Rafael out of his funk and he couldn't help but laugh. After he'd headed off to the train section, Sonny swiped a few onesies from the wall. A 'D', a 'J', an 'I', and a 'C'. 

Just in case.

Sonny's sister, Teresa, had had a brief turn as an interior designer, meaning she had tried to get her highly manicured claws onto their baby's nursery from the second they'd passed around the sonograph. Teresa was also a woman who very much ascribed to gender-based baby decoration, still poking at Sonny to get the doctor to tell them the sex so she could plan her gifts accordingly. 

At first, Rafael and Sonny had held off on finding out the gender mostly because they didn't see the fuss. They'd love their child either way, so what did it matter? But, after months of Teresa's needling, they both agreed that it was now a silent form of protest. Sonny had already bought a bright pink rattle and a sky blue teether, pointedly placing both of them in clear view whenever his big sister came over.

Teresa was a Carisi, though, which meant that Rafael was constantly having to remember that his husband's stubborn nature extended to his entire family. He reminded himself of this fact as he stood in the unfinished nursery, fingers desperately trying to rub away a headache from behind his eyes, as both he and his sister-in-law watched Sonny pry open a can of buttery yellow paint.

"This would be so much easier if you knew." Teresa had long since started to sound like a stuck record. She had settled herself into the padded rocking chair, pretending to put the nautical themed crib mobile together. 

The crib itself had been assembled a few days earlier. The squad had come for dinner, and while Olivia, Fin, and Rafael sat in the living room, continual swearing had issued from the second bedroom as multiple decorated detectives steadily made their way through a two-four and banded together to build what had been advertised as an "easily assembled" crib.

"I don't think baby rooms are supposed to be easy or hard, T," Sonny said, sounding fatigued as he poured paint into an awaiting tray. Rafael had already spent the morning laying down plastic sheeting and taping off the baseboards. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure Topolino will want to repaint it at some point. You'll be the first person we'll call, okay?"

Sonny's nickname for their unborn baby had only started recently, seemingly from thin air. Rafael was convinced it had something to do with a similar one from Sonny's own childhood. The multitude of mouse related baby gifts from his partner's extensive relatives was starting to get suspicious and Rafael wasn't an idiot, he saw Sonny's blushing increase with each package. 

Teresa huffed and Sonny started to cut in on the top corners. She looked displeased but mollified. The mobile was tossed onto the changing table and Rafael rushed to save it from being splattered with yellow.

"Fine," she said. "But I still think pink would be better."

Sonny glared at her so intensely that he didn't seem to notice he'd painted over his own fingers.

Teresa was the only one who got huffy over the nursery. Gina had been on her side for a little while but changed teams once Sonny had invited his family over and they had seen the room in all its finished glory. They had all, minus Dom (he had smiled, which was high praise) and his eldest, cooed over every detail. Even Teresa eventually admitted it was "cute, considering", from behind her crossed arms.

The crib, now painted a soft green, stood pride of place by the window. The finally finished mobile spun gently above it, various denizens of the deep swirling in the air. The teddy bear that Olivia had bought was on the chest of drawers, next to the stuffed toy lamb that Amanda had given them. The rocking chair now boasted an extra cushion and even a blanket. Sonny's dad had smiled and nodded before he'd helped them add faux-built-in bookshelves. It hadn't been long before they were stuffed to the gunnels with enough books for a library. There was a plush carpet patterned with a field of grazing sheep on the floor, sage curtains framing the window, and a hanging ceiling lamp shaped like a beehive. Sonny had even gotten a cousin of his to paint the ceiling like the sky, complete with fluffy clouds. Rafael would only admit later that the suspiciously high fee had been worth it.

Much later, once dinner had been finished and cleaned up, and after all the guests had filed out the front door, Rafael found Sonny sitting on the nursery floor holding the stuffed animals to his chest.

"You okay?" Rafael lowered himself down next to the younger man, definitely ignoring the way his knees crackled as he went. "You've been quiet since dessert."

Sonny turned to face him and Rafael was taken aback by the tears clinging to his love's eyelashes and the way his face was pink like he'd been scrubbing his hands over it. 

"Mi amor," Rafael said instantly, shifting to wrap his arms around Sonny's shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"I... I don't know, Rafi. I just can't stop thinking... and with the room all done now, I just..." Sonny's voice was wet and his breath hitched as he spoke. "What if we can't do this? What if I can't?"

Rafael pulled back, lips parting and brow furrowing a little in confusion. Usually it was him doing the panicking, the overthinking, the catastrophizing. The scars his father had left him with, physical and otherwise, kept a constant refrain in his mind of the possibility of the cycle repeating; Rafael had seen enough in his life and career to know that apples didn't often fall far from their trees.

But Sonny, a man who was always ready to find the silver linings, a man who'd been raised by a loving family, a man who kids seemingly flocked to to be entertained by, he wasn't supposed to be scared about fatherhood... right? Rafael had never really considered that Sonny might be fearful of their parental future. He had never shown anything even close to hesitancy before, always being the first to mention their upcoming due date with enthusiasm or to talk about development milestones and teething tactics with whoever stood still long enough. 

Right now, though, as they sat on the floor of a nursery that was so brand new it still smelled of fresh paint, Rafael was struck with how scared Sonny looked. How small he looked. His eyes, that clear blue that Rafael so coveted, were swimming with emotion, more tears threatening to fall. 

"Oh, baby," He breathed and pulled the man close to his chest, cradling him gently and pressing a kiss to his hair. Rafael felt the shake of Sonny's shoulders as he started to cry. "Domenico Carisi, you're going to be amazing - you were made to be a dad. Anyone who knows you would say the same."

Rafael pulled back just a little so as to meet Sonny's rapidly reddening eyes. He moved to brush away the tears with his thumbs. "I love you, Sonny, and I promise you we're going to be just fine. Okay? We're so, so ready for this kid and I only feel good saying that because of you. Our baby is going to love you so much and I know for a fact you already love them to the ends of the earth, and they're not even here yet."

Sonny sniffed loudly and squeezed the stuffed animals he was still holding. He seemed to be concentrating intently on keeping the fluff out of the little lamb's stitched-on eyes. It was a couple of minutes before he finally spoke, and Rafael was hardly going to push him.

"Bet you never thought you'd be the one doing the reassuring over stuff like this," he said with a huffed chuckle, still emotional but beginning to sound like his normal self again. 

"You say that like you've not been doing it for me every week for the past eight months. You're entitled to your fears too, you know." Rafael reached out to take the stuffed animals from Sonny and placed them down on the side table next to the rocking chair. 

Sonny got to his feet and wiped at his face, sniffling with a laugh following. "Shut up, Raf, you're gonna be a great dad."

"See?" Rafael took the other man's hand and tugged him out into the hall and towards their bedroom. "You're reassuring me right now. It's chronic, I think it might be inborn."

Sonny let himself be maneuvered into pyjamas and slowly lowered into bed. Rafael wasted no time in shucking himself of his own clothes and crawling in next to him. Sonny reached out to pull his partner against his chest with a low hum.

"Thank you," He said quietly.

Rafael wanted to make a quip, a tease or a joke so that they could settle into the familiarity of their good-natured bickering, but he knew that wasn’t what either of them needed right now.

"You're welcome, cariño," he said instead, nuzzling into the warm junction where Sonny's neck met shoulder. The spicy aroma from his time spent cooking dinner still lingered there and Rafael took a deep, satisfying breath. He buried himself further and Sonny gave him a squeeze. "I'm always here for you.".

Sonny didn't need to answer for Rafael to know he'd heard him. The long kiss that followed his statement was evidence enough.

Usually, when Olivia got woken up at odd hours by her phone buzzing on the nightstand, it was one of her detectives ready to pull her into a new, and likely complicated, case. This time, however, she was instead met with a Rafael Barba who sounded like he'd just run down fifty flights of stairs only to realise he'd forgotten something and had to run right back up them again. 

She checked the time. 3.27am. Fantastic.

"Rafa, slow down. Give me a minute." She rubbed at her eyes as she got out of bed and immediately started to dress. She didn't need to guess what the call was for. Sophia had been looking rounder and rounder every time Olivia had seen her recently, and Baby No Name was scheduled to arrive at the end of month. A few weeks early was hardly rare, and babies weren't particularly known for their punctuality. Surprises were their forte. 

She let Rafael ramble at her down the phone at a mile a minute, occasionally hearing Carisi chime in from the background. From what she could understand, Sophia had phoned them barely ten minutes ago, in a panic after her water broke, and was currently being driven to the hospital by her girlfriend. Priya, despite being an all 'round lovely human being, drove like a seventy-five year old who also happened to be a Formula 1 racer. Olivia was sure Sophia would get to Emergency with time to spare, leaving many flattened bollards in her wake.

"I'll be there in a half hour," she said, rummaging around for a pair of comfortable shoes. Rafael worried on the other side of the call. Olivia sighed but smiled. "No, no, it's okay. Lucy is here already, she's staying over for the weekend anyway. Noah will be fine. You just focus on your own kid now." 

She felt bad for waking her up, but still checked in with Lucy briefly before making her way to the birth of her very first godchild. Co-godchild, as Amanda readily reminded her.

Finding the Barba-Carisi brigade had been easy once she'd reached the right floor of the hospital. Sonny was trying his best to peak into the delivery room while Rafael paced expertly up and down the short hallway. He gave her a tired, strained smile when his eyes found her.

"Sonny got the timing wrong," Rafael explained once Olivia had managed to wrangle him into a chair. "He thought she said her water just broke, but apparently it actually happened earlier, she thought it was something else. Priya said it took practically all day to convince her to come here."

"Doc said she's been in labour for at least a few hours without even noticing." Sonny butted in, running his hands through his already impressively messy hair. Both men look like they'd just rolled out of bed, with Rafael only being vaguely more put together than his husband. "He said it's looking good but they might need suction to help get them out. But I mean, two weeks early, it's not like they're big enough to get stuck, right?" 

Rafael pulled Sonny's hand into both of his own, away from where he'd been gnawing at his thumb. 

"I'm sure everything's going fine. Babies just always like to make an entrance," Olivia said, patting Carisi's arm reassuringly. "What do you two need right now? I've got a car and a babysitter, I'm at your disposal."

"Liv, we couldn't ask-" Rafael started but Sonny cut him off.

"Coffee would be great. Rafi's running on fumes and refuses to drink the cafeteria stuff." The man in question rolled his eyes but Sonny could see the smile pulling at his lips. He had seen Rafael drink the cheapest of corner store swill, but the man refused to even smell the hospital cafeteria's coffee. "There's an all night cafe literally down the street."

"Coffee it is." She flashed them a smile and headed back to the entrance, calling over her shoulder as she went. "I won't be too long!"

What Olivia thought of as "down the street" clearly didn't align with Sonny's metric, she soon discovered. Multiple blocks and four near misses from being run over later, and she was back at the hospital, cardboard take-away tray in hand. When she returned to the delivery room, though, she was confronted with the fact that her trip had taken much longer than they'd all thought it would.

Sophia was barely awake but beaming like anything, sweaty hair being pushed back by her dutiful girlfriend. She was clearly close to sleeping. There were still a few nurses flitting in and out, so Olivia slipped in quietly and set the coffees down on the windowsill.

"I can't have been away for that long," she joked softly, heading over to the bed to give Sophia's hand a kind squeeze. "You must have done amazing.

"She did," Priya said, nothing but pride passing her lips.

"Piece 'a cake," Sophia mumbled, sleepy but alert. "Was worth it just to see Rafael's face when the head came out."

Olivia didn't try to hold back her laughter, even as the man in question shot her a glare. "Worth the whole pregnancy?"

"Definitely." Sophia had closed her eyes as she spoke, a smile on her lips. "Never again, though. No matter how cute he is."

"He?"

"Mm, your lil' guy'll have someone to play with." She shifted on the bed. "Sorry, guys, but I think I'm gonna sleep now."

Everyone in the room shared a knowing smile, and Olivia squeezed Sophia's hand one more time. "It's okay, you've done more than enough. You rest up."

She was out cold before Olivia even finished speaking.

A little snuffle cut through the brief quiet. Oliva turned her head to watch as Sonny transferred a little bundle from the bedside cot and into his arms like it was the most natural thing in the world. The gentleness in every shift of his hands clashed wonderfully with Rafael's panicked hovering over his shoulder. 

"So, am I going to get to meet my godson?" Sonny beamed at her question and Rafael's ears went pink. 

The baby looked, in all honesty, like every other baby. That didn't stop him from being the sweetest newborn in the whole of Manhattan. The squad had joked early on that Rafael should cross his fingers that Sophia's genetics might win out against the Carisi paleness. The man must have crossed them at least once if the beige tinge to his son's complexion was anything to go by, as well as the impressive thatch of unruly dark hair. The baby wriggled in his swaddle and yawned, opening very large and very blue eyes.

"He's gorgeous," Olivia breathed, her smile never leaving her as she looked between the boy and his enamoured fathers. 

"He is, isn't he," Rafael said, awe-filled, as he reached out to run his fingers over the baby's feather-soft hair. "Sonny pretty much cheered when he opened his eyes."

"Pop's gonna be so proud," Sonny said, sounding close to tears. He always got more emotional the more tired he was. "The blue goes back on his side for generations. And my tiny Topolino's keeping the legacy." He sniffed hard and Rafael rubbed his back. The look he shot Olivia told her that Sonny had been off and on a river of tears for a while now, and drawing any notice would only start up the waterworks again.

"I'm happy for you," she said eventually. "Both of you."

"Thanks, Lieu,” Sonny sniffled before grinning back down at his son. 

A clattering sound came from outside the door right before it was flung open and a flurry of blonde hair rushed into the room.

"I'm here! I'm here! Doesn't matter what time of day, the traffic in this city is-" Amanda cut herself off once she got an eyeful of the newborn. Sending a little wave Priya's way, she popped her head next to Olivia's shoulder. "He's kinda got your nose, Carisi."

Rafael let out a laugh loud enough to startle the baby. He immediately quieted down and leant in to coo at the little boy, who almost instantly settled. "I said that just before you came," he told them.

The baby yawned as the surrounding adults smiled down at him.

"Still didn't decide on a name then?" Olivia nodded towards the blank card affixed to the wheeled bassinet.

"Don't get him started," Sonny said as he delicately placed his son back in bed. He shushed Rafael, who had opened his mouth to defend himself. "We've already argued about it three times and the kid's barely hours old."

"I just want to be sure," Rafael said, and the way Sonny, and Priya over on the bed, rolled their eyes made it obvious that the new father was repeating himself. Possibly ad nauseam.

They all had their attentions pulled from names by Amanda digging through her bag and emerging with a grey striped hat with mouse ears. She nestled it over the baby's head and Sonny's tears broke the barrier again as he lurched forward to tug Rollins into a tight hug. She laughed and patted his back, murmuring something soft into his ear.

"Welcome to fatherhood, Rafa." Olivia draped her arm across the man's shoulders and pulled him to her side as they alternated between watching Sonny and watching the baby. "You're going to be great. I promise."

Rafael smiled at his friend before he reached out to tuck a few loose strands of his son's hair into his new little hat. 

"I know. I've got Sonny," he said in response, his smile broadening. He sounded tired but happier than she'd heard him in a while. "Everything will be okay."

Rafael sat in the rocking chair in the nursery, idly sliding back and forth absentmindedly as he scribbled on the stack of flash cards in his lap. Twisted up bits of paper littered the floor by his feet. He picked up two cards, discarded the rest, and surveyed them with as much concentration as if he were selecting a jury. Rafael's brows furrowed and he frowned, looking between the papers and the crib.

"What do you think?" He flipped the cards over to show them to the baby blinking owlishly up at him. A gurgly noise issued forth.

"Yeah," Rafael said, glancing back at his jottings. "I think you might be right. It doesn't mean that your daddy's side's not gonna be smug about it. No rubbing it in, okay?" 

A squeak emerged from the bundle this time and Rafael's face smoothed out as he bent over to pick up his son. The little boy was almost two weeks old, which meant they were staring down the barrel of finally deciding on a name. The papers littering the floor were some indication as to Rafael's indecisiveness.

"So, are we decided yet, mijo?" He asked, his tone one of light conversation, as if he expected the infant to properly reply. A wiggle and another squeak seemed to be answer enough in Rafael's book.

"You cross-examining him again?"

Rafael turned around to see Sonny leaning in the doorway, a spit-up cloth over one shoulder and a smirk on his lips. He loped over to the pair and placed a kiss on both his husband's and his son's foreheads.

"We were just coming to find you, actually." Rafael tipped subconsciously towards Sonny and tucked both himself and their boy into the circle of the taller man's arms.

"Oh, yeah?" 

"Yeah, me and... me and Ignacio wanted to come say hello." Rafael's voice was soft but clear, his eyes wary as he looked up at Sonny's stubbly face. The smile that appeared could only ever be described as blinding.

"Ignacio, eh?" Sonny reached out to tickle at their baby's swaddle-covered stomach. He gurgled happily and gave another wiggle. "Little Iggy."

"Domenico," Rafael amended, and Sonny flicked his gaze over to his husband, a little puzzled. "Domenico Ignacio Barba-Carisi." He smiled then added. "Junior. The third. You can get matching t-shirts."

Sonny's smile grew impossibly large and his eyes lit up like nothing else. Ignacio giggled as his daddy gently ruffled his hair. He spun away to rummage in the dresser and held up two tiny babygrows. On the left, a golden dog with droopy ears was curled into a stylized letter 'D'. On the right, the damned inexplicably bespectacled giraffe from the baby store. 

Rafael felt a sudden overwhelming wave of affection crash over him as he watched the silly man he'd married saunter back over and hold each onesie up to his chest like he was about to try them on.

"What do we think? Purple or orange?"

"I love you."

"Orange it is."

"Sonny!" Rafael laughed aloud, openly and freely, as his husband expertly maneuvered their son onto the changing table and swapped out his swaddle for the giraffe onesie. When he was done he bent a bit to peck Rafael's lips.

"I love you too, amore mio," he murmured into the other's mouth and Rafael drew him in deeper, humming happily.

A squeal came from behind them and Sonny moved to lift little Ignacio up from the changing table. 

"And don't you worry," he said as he tucked the baby close to his chest, leaning into Rafael as he did so. "I love you just as much, Iggy." He lowered his voice to a stage whisper. "Maybe even more, but don't go blabbing to your papi, capice?"

Rafael laughed and wrapped his arms around the taller man, one going under Sonny's to help support Ignacio. He kissed his husband's cheek then bent down to gift one to his son's as well, with both his boys reacting with a wide smile. One was much gummier than the other, but no less coveted.

He never thought he'd be a father; too held back by his long hours at work, the memories of his own father, and his inability to keep a partner. Having a family beyond his mother and grandmother had never even crossed his mind. And then came Sonny, smashing every expectation that Rafael had had for his future. He contemplated that previously possible future as he watched Sonny bounce around the room, nattering away to their newborn child as he held him. It was one full of success and praise, of promotions and politics. It was also coming home to an empty, dark apartment, drinking too much, and working hours that were far beyond healthy. It was lonely. It was cold. It was everything that Rafael knew he could never go back to again.

Rafael felt tears well up in his eyes but made no move to wipe them away. He wanted to feel it, to feel the way his heart filled and his chest ached as he watched his family - his wonderful, perfect family - take up a space in him that he never would have imagined existed.

"Rafi, are you coming?"

Having been so wrapped up in his own thoughts, Rafael hadn't even noticed that Sonny, and therefore also Ignacio, had left the room. Sonny had poked his head around the doorframe to laugh the question towards his husband. 

"We're gonna read together and I think he's really gonna get a kick outta some of this intellectual property law."

"I'll be there in a minute." He chuckled and shook his head fondly as he watched Sonny go. 

Turning back to the room, he gathered up his discarded flash cards, not even bothering to look at the abandoned names scribbled on them. Tossing them into the wastepaper bin, he smiled as he heard a squeal of delight come from the living room.

After cleaning up, Rafael held back in the hallway, crossed his arms over his chest, and leant against the wall. Sonny had settled himself down on the sofa, legs stretched out along the full length of it, with Ignacio laying on his chest. Further down, on his stomach, he had propped up one of the thick legal tomes that usually sat nestled in one of their multiple bookshelves. Sonny was smiling down at Iggy, brushing his hair back every now and then in between turning pages. His voice was soft and low, gentle like a lullaby as he made his way through case law from decades past. 

Rafael took a moment to drink it in, to wrap himself in the warmth of a reality that he would be forever grateful for. He smiled and wiped at his eyes.

He moved to perch himself on the arm of the sofa and reached out to push Sonny's hair away from his eyes. It was really starting to get noticeably long, not that he was complaining. He had been very vocal about how much he liked the length, to Sonny's great amusement. Rafael smiled when his husband let out a contented hum.

"How's the reading material?"

"Pretty good, conked him right out about a minute ago." Sonny smirked up at Rafael before laying a large hand on Iggy's back. Rafael refused to acknowledge what the action did to him. Could you get baby fever barely a month after having one?

Maybe it was a gift bestowed upon the Carisi men, to be able to crack even the hardest of hearts by simply holding a child for a few seconds. Even back at the hospital, when Dom Sr. had been holding his little grandson, Rafael had been struck by the sudden and intense want for a tiny twin baby to pop into existence right then and there. It had been a jarring thought, and one that had yet to leave his already overstuffed brain.

"You look close to it too," he said, thumb smoothing over Sonny's forehead and moving lower to rub gentle circles into his jaw, the left hinge where Rafael knew the man held most of his tension. "Go to sleep, baby, I'll keep an eye on him."

Sonny easily hummed his agreement and let the book fall closed in his lap. He was asleep in under a minute. Rafael lifted the infant from his chest, tucked him into the crook of his own arm instead, and draped a throw blanket over Sonny's newly prone form.

Ignacio snuffled and wiggled as he awoke and blinked his massive blue eyes up at his father. Rafael saw Sonny in the little guy's gaze, and in the curve of his miniature nose, even in the hint of eventual dimples in his cheeks. He knew it was impossible, but Rafael thought that maybe he could see a bit of himself there too - the twists of Iggy's tiny mouth had a similarity to Rafael's patented smirk, and had been remarked upon by at least a half dozen people. 

A pudgy hand waved and Rafael chuckled softly, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. His free hand reached out and Iggy wrapped all five of his fingers around one of Rafael's.

"I love you, mijito. You and your dad are the best things to ever happen to me." Rafael sniffed back tears, focusing instead on the feeling of his son's grip on his index finger. "Te amo tanto, tanto, mi pequeño." 

Ignacio gurgled and Rafael settled the both of them down into Sonny's currently unoccupied recliner. Iggy quickly made himself comfortable in his papi's arms.

The song started without hesitation, like it had been in the wings, simply waiting for its time in the sun. The tune flowed from him like it was the only thing he was ever meant to do. It was an old song that he remembered his abuelita murmuring to him when he'd been young. Bundled up in his bed, Abuela Catalina would cozy up alongside him as she regaled him with tales and songs from her native home. Stories and songs that he could still grasp onto in his memory, locked in a strongbox that even age couldn't destroy. The nightly routine with his grandmother had often been one of the few things that kept him together following a run-in with his father.

As he sat in his own home, far from his late father's influence, quietly passing onto his child the songs that had built him, Rafael watched Ignacio blink slowly and yawn widely before snuggling back in for another lengthy sleep. He wiped at his face before the fresh onslaught of tears could splash down onto the baby's head. Rafael looked up from his son to watch the rise and fall of Sonny's chest. Warm and solid and wonderful. 

He smiled at his boys, his precious family, and let out a long breath. As he sank back into his seat, he held his son close and, for the first time in a long time, finally let himself rest.