Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

caroline drove through the winding roads of westchester, one hand on the wheel, the other lazily holding a cigarette.home sweet home, or whatever. 

she hadn't been back in a while—not since that whole messy thing with her mom. but after spending some time on her own, getting a taste of freedom and a little too much reality, coming back didn't seem so bad. especially for her siblings. 

it was late afternoon, and she hadn't even swung by the house yet. not like anyone was waiting at the door with open arms.besides, she wasn't back for them. 

she was back for her siblings. 

 starting with: matthew. 

as she turned the corner near bridgeton middle, she slowed to a stop right in front of the main doors, window already halfway rolled down. the engine purred. she waited. 

 kids started pouring out like ants at a picnic. loud, hormonal, annoying. she leaned back in her seat and scanned the crowd. 

first, she spotted a familiar mop of red hair. oh right—matthew's little friend. 

a twink and a redhead. weird combo, but somehow it worked. 

 𓂃˖ ࣪⊹ 

andrew and maury stood frozen on the sidewalk, eyes locked on the blonde girl across the street. 

she took a slow drag from her cigarette, exhaling a stream of smoke that swirled around her like she was in a music video or something. 

"holy shit, maury," andrew breathed, eyes wide. 

"i know," maury grunted, grinning. "think about her while you beat your puny little dick tonight." he wiggled his brows, clearly way too excited.

andrew squinted, mesmerized. "she's smoking in a school zone," he said, almost in awe. "she's definitely one bad girl." 

maury winced. "okay, can you not cum on the pavement, jesus." 

nick jogged up behind andrew, slightly out of breath. "what are you staring at?"his eyes followed andrew's line of sight—and then his jaw dropped. 

"no fucking way," nick whispered. 

"what, what?" andrew snapped out of his trance, grabbing nick by the shoulders. "tell me!" 

nick blinked. "that's matthew's sister." 

andrew froze. "matthew has a sister?!" 

 𓂃˖ ࣪⊹ 

caroline noticed the feeling of eyes on her. weird, but whatever. she couldn't be bothered to roll the windows up. let them look.

she flicked the cigarette out onto the pavement and leaned back in her seat, bored now. just when she was about to start scrolling through her phone, the front doors finally opened again.

there he was.

matthew macdell, walking out like he had a runway under his feet. hair perfect, posture impeccable, already judging everyone in his path. he hadn't changed at all.

but he didn't see her yet. of course he didn't.

so she stepped out of the car.

"matthew!" she shouted, leaning against the roof of her car with a hand over her eyes.

he froze mid-step. slowly—so slowly—he turned his head.

his jaw dropped.

"no. fucking. way."

caroline grinned. "surprise, bitch."

matthew blinked like he was short-circuiting. "you—you're back?! here? why? how?! what the hell are you doing outside my school?!"

she popped the car door open again and slid back into the seat. "figured i'd pick up my favorite little brother."

"i'm the only little brother you talk to."

"and still my favorite," she said, starting the engine.

matthew stormed over, bag swinging violently. "oh my god. you're gonna ruin everything."

"nice to see you too," she sang, reaching over to unlock the passenger door. "get in, drama queen."

he hesitated. "you better be staying."

caroline just smiled. "we'll see."

andrew and nick stood completely frozen across the street, watching the entire thing.

"...this is gonna be so good," maury whispered.

 𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

"why didn't you tell me you were visiting?" matthew spoke, arms crossed as he looked out the window.

caroline didn't answer right away—she was too busy adjusting the mirror and lighting another cigarette like she hadn't just made matthew's afternoon very weird.

"because i knew you'd react like this," she said, waving the cigarette vaguely in his direction.

"like what?"

"like a little diva." she smirked. 

matthew let out a dramatic sigh, leaning his head back against the seat. "i just... i don't get it. you disappeared for months, didn't text anyone, and now you show up at my school like it's a reboot of some c-list teen drama?"

caroline raised a brow. "are you mad i'm back, or mad you weren't the first person i told?"

he didn't answer.

instead, he glanced out the window, annoyed—but underneath that, there was something else. something softer. relieved, maybe.

"i thought you were gone for good," he mumbled.

caroline didn't say anything to that. she just reached over and ruffled his perfectly styled hair.

"not a chance," she said. "you think i'm gonna let you go through high school without someone cooler and hotter around to supervise?"

"that's supposed to be comforting?"

"depends on how much therapy you've had."

matthew tried not to smile, but failed.

 𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

when they pulled into the driveway, caroline stared up at the house. it looked smaller than she remembered. maybe it was always like that, but things looked different when you came back older.

matthew stayed quiet as they got out of the car. caroline crushed her cigarette into the driveway with the heel of her boot, like a full-circle moment.

the front door creaked open.

"matthew?" their dad called out first, before his eyes landed on her. he stopped.

his face didn't shift right away. just... surprise. then cautiousness. like seeing a ghost that might still bite.

"caroline?"

she gave a lazy wave. "hey, dad."

"you're—uh—here."

"so are you," she said. "weird how that works."

matthew awkwardly slid past them both and went inside like he wanted no part in the emotional tension.

their dad scratched the back of his neck. "you didn't tell us you were coming back."

"yeah, i've been hearing that a lot today."

a beat of silence.

"your room's still upstairs," he said eventually. "no one touched it."

she nodded, the sarcasm slipping away for just a second. "thanks."

he stepped aside to let her in, and the moment she crossed the threshold, it hit her. the smell, the warmth.

she was really back.

matthew peeked at her from the kitchen doorway, "you staying for dinner?" he asked.

caroline raised a brow. "depends. you think mom will freak out?"

his expression dropped. "she's always freaked out."

caroline's eyes softened at matthew, "she still doesn't think you're gay, huh?" 

"nope." he responded, popping the 'p'.

caroline laughed softly, "you'll make her understand one day, i mean that's why i left," she looked at the empty kitchen.

"she couldn't accept the fact that i'm like into girls too." 

matthew just froze, all this time he'd thought caroline just ran away. well, that's what their mom told him.

maury's jaw dropped next to matthew, eyes wide. "your sister is just like you!... kinda... but, like, the cool, older, cigarette-smoking version."

matthew shot him a look. "can you not speak right now?"

"okay, okay," maury muttered, throwing his hands up. "just saying—it's giving queer icon energy in this living room."

caroline didn't even blink. "thanks, big hairy hallucination." 

matthew groaned. "she can see you?"

"duh," caroline said, pulling a throw pillow into her lap. "i had one when i was younger. she wore leather, screamed at men, and carried around a switchblade. her name was mona."

maury gasped. "oh my god. i know mona."

caroline grinned. "tell her i want my knives back."

matthew sat down beside her, still trying to process everything. "so... all that time... you didn't leave because you hated us."

she looked over at him, softer now. "i never hated you. i just needed space. and mom—she didn't want to hear it from me. maybe she will from you."

he looked down at his hands. "doubt it."

"well," she said, nudging his shoulder. "that's why i'm back. backup has arrived."

he smirked. "emotional backup or someone to stab her with words?"

"bit of both."

from the hallway, their mom's voice rang out. "matthew, dinner's ready!"

they both froze.

maury whispered, "and so it begins."

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

caroline stood up slowly, cracking her neck like she was about to enter a boxing ring. "wanna take bets on how fast this goes downhill?"

"i'm guessing five minutes," matthew muttered.

"i'll take three."

maury cackled behind them. "you guys have no faith. give it ten seconds tops."

they walked into the dining room, the table already set. mom was arranging silverware like it was a military operation. a tight smile on her face.

she looked up. saw caroline.

her jaw clenched.

"you're here."

"yeah," caroline said, sitting down like she owned the place. "just thought i'd grace the family with my presence. you're welcome."

mom didn't laugh.

matthew sat down next to her, already regretting this.

"i would've made more if i'd known we were feeding guests," mom said, placing the final fork down just a little too hard.

"good thing i'm not picky," caroline replied, reaching for a roll. "what's for dinner? resentment with a side of judgment?"

dad let out a tiny cough that sounded like a laugh and immediately looked at his plate.

matthew stared at his water like it had the power to transport him elsewhere.

maury leaned in. "tension level's at a seven. i'm hard."

"can you not say that over potatoes," matthew hissed under his breath.

mom sat down. folded her napkin. looked directly at caroline.

"so. you're back."

caroline chewed slowly, then swallowed. "wow, mom. so observant. you should be a detective."

"don't start."

"who's starting?"

matthew kicked her under the table.

she kicked back.

a beat of silence.

then mom said, flatly, "so. are you staying long?"

caroline didn't answer right away. just leaned back in her chair, lips twitching.

"we'll see," she said. "depends on how long it takes for you to pretend i'm still your daughter."

mom's fork clattered against her plate.

ten seconds.

maury fist-pumped the air.

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

caroline leaned against the hood of her car, arms crossed, staring out at the quiet street. the stars were dull, streetlight humming above them.

matthew shoved his hands in his pockets, pacing a little on the driveway. "okay, so let me get this straight," he said, voice sharp. "you showed up at my school, hijacked dinner, and you're not even staying here?"

caroline didn't flinch. "correct."

"then where the fuck are you staying?"

she lit another cigarette, took a drag, and blew the smoke out toward the sky.

"don't worry about it. i've got someone."

matthew stared at her. "someone?"

she smirked. "someone who answers my texts and doesn't ask me passive-aggressive questions during dinner."

"wow, okay," he muttered, shaking his head. "just say you're shacking up with some ex-boyfriend or girlfriend."

"i'm not," she said, then paused. "but even if i were, at least it'd be someone who lets me breathe."

"you could've stayed in your room," he snapped. "dad said it's still there."

"yeah, but mom's still there too."

that shut him up.

the silence stretched between them. then softer—

"i just..." matthew exhaled. "i don't want you to disappear again."

caroline turned toward him, flicking ash off the end of her cigarette. "i'm not disappearing. just not unpacking my trauma under this roof, either."

he gave her a long look. then nodded once.

"...fine. but text me where you end up, okay?"

she bumped his shoulder lightly. "aw, look at you. being emotionally responsible."

"shut up," he grumbled, but he smiled anyway.

caroline basked in silence again then wrapped her arms around matthew. 

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

Messages

caroline
hi

leah
CAROLINE???

caroline
can i stay over for awhile

leah
omfg no way you're back
i thought nicky was just lying!!!!

caroline
i'm gonna be at ur house in like 15 mins

leah
u better be glad im awake

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

she turned into a cul-de-sac and eased her car to a stop in front of a two-story, beige-sided home .

the birch house.

she grinned, flicking the last of her cigarette out the window before killing the engine. for a second, she just sat there. headlights off, music low, heart steady. then she grabbed her duffel from the passenger seat and stepped out.

the porch light flipped on before she even made it to the steps.

"holy shit," leah whispered, already swinging the door open in an oversized hoodie and messy bun. "you're real."

caroline smirked. "good to see you too, birch."

"you're real!" leah said again, launching herself into a hug. "you actually came back. i thought maybe nick was just talking out of his ass again."

"i mean, that part's still true," caroline mumbled into her shoulder.

leah pulled back to look at her. "what the hell are you doing here? not that i'm complaining."

"needed somewhere to crash," caroline said. "and someone who wouldn't give me a sermon before dessert."

"god, you smell like menthol and mommy issues."

"so nothing's changed."

leah grinned. "c'mon. we've got a spare bed that you can use when we're in my room."

caroline's eyes softened. "thanks, leah."

"yeah, yeah. come on in before my mom wakes up and thinks i'm sneaking in a boy."

caroline followed her inside, dragging the duffel behind her. she was exhausted, emotionally scrambled—but for the first time in a long time, she felt okay.

she was home. or something like it.

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

the smell of bacon drifted up the stairs.

caroline stretched, arms over her head, her oversized tee riding just above the curve of her hip. her hair was tousled, makeup smudged from the night before in that effortlessly hot kind of way. leah trailed behind her in pajama shorts, clutching a mug and trying not to laugh.

"you're gonna give my mom a heart attack showing up looking like that," leah muttered.

caroline smirked. "what, this old thing?" she winked as they made their way down the steps.

in the kitchen, diane was already flipping pancakes. the second she turned and spotted caroline, she let out a little gasp.

"caroline?! oh my god, you're really here!" she rushed over, drying her hands on a towel and pulling her into a hug.

"hi, di," caroline said, grinning. "still smells like the best kitchen in westchester."

diane pulled back, eyes wide. "look at you—you grew up! no, you filled out. you look gorgeous, sweetheart."

from the table, nick dropped his fork with a clatter.

"see? i told you she was back," he said, jaw slack.

caroline gave him a little smile. "morning, nicky."

he blinked. "holy shit."

"close your mouth, you'll catch flies," leah said, stealing his toast.

"shit, actually. i left my hoodie upstairs," caroline looked at herself, "i'll be back in a sec!"

caroline turned back, bare legs brushing against the cool stairs as she climbed. the house was quiet now, except for the sounds of breakfast and the distant hum of a news anchor on tv.

just as she hit the landing, a door creaked somewhere above.

footsteps.

judd.

coming down the stairs from the third floor, hoodie slung over his shoulder, hair a mess. his eyes met hers, slow and steady.

he stopped when he saw her, one hand on the railing, the other rubbing at his jaw.

"well, shit," he said. "look who actually showed."

caroline leaned against the wall, one foot pressed behind her. "what, didn't believe nicky?"

"i didn't." he started down the stairs again, slower now. "felt too good to be true."

"dramatic."

"accurate."

his eyes dropped—just for a beat—to her bare legs, to the way her shirt hangs off her shoulder, then back up. not obvious, not enough for anyone else to catch. but she did. and he knew she did.

"you still remember me?"

she tilted her head. "forget the guy who threw a dead frog at my ex? never."

judd stepped down a little closer, slow and loose. his voice dipped. "you remember more than that."

"maybe," she said, lips tugging into a smirk. "maybe not."

he smiled—slow, lazy. "guess i'll have to remind you."

she let out a breath, amused but steady. "still a flirt, huh?"

"who said i was flirting?"

she tilted her head. "you always talk like that when you're shirtless?"

he grinned, not looking away. "only when it works."

she laughed, soft and dangerous. "still cocky."

"still curious."

they stood like that for a moment, the quiet buzzing between them.

"you look different," he said, voice low.

"older?"

"hotter."

she raised an eyebrow, but the smile on her face didn't falter. "you too. somehow scruffier and smugger. impressive."

judd didn't move. didn't speak. just watched her, like maybe if he looked long enough, he'd figure something out.

"caroline?" leah's voice interrupted, closer this time. "you good?"

caroline broke the stare first, pushing off the wall with a lazy shrug. "coming!"

she turned, but judd's voice followed her—low, smooth, something hidden under it.

"hey."

she paused on the step, looking back.

"you still run when things get good?"

she didn't answer right away. just met his gaze over her shoulder.

"you still make everything complicated?"

judd smiled again, slower this time. "always."

caroline held his eyes another second before heading down. smiling to herself.

Chapter Text

caroline and leah pulled into the bridgeton high parking lot, the black car gliding into a spot like it owned the place.

leah glanced over as she grabbed her bag. "you ready?"

caroline shrugged, twisting the keys out of the ignition. "kinda. kinda scared. but like... why would i be scared?" she smirked, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

leah smiled anyway. "bet the guys'll be all over you though."

caroline rolled her eyes, pushing her door open. "oh great. just what i need. horny teenage boys who think deodorant is optional."

"welcome back to hell," leah said, slamming her door shut.

they started toward the building. the parking lot wasn't packed yet, but enough people were around to notice.

caroline didn't look at anyone, but she felt the stares. locker doors paused mid-slam. a kid with braces dropped his granola bar.

"who is that?"

"yo—yo, is that leah's friend? the hot one?"

"no, bro, that's her cousin. or like. childhood best friend. i don't know. but she used to live here."

leah leaned in. "so, uh. welcome back?"

caroline laughed, low and tired. "feels like i never left."

a girl bumped into a locker trying to stare without staring.

caroline raised an eyebrow. "this is gonna be so fun."

leah groaned. "do not sleep with anyone today."

caroline shot her a grin. "no promises."

they hadn't even made it ten steps past the double doors when someone nearly shoulder-checked caroline.

"watch it, assclown," the girl snapped, boots stomping on the linoleum like she was late to ruin someone's life.

caroline blinked. "lulu?"

the girl whipped around. "caroline fuckin' macdell?!"

they stared at each other for half a second before launching into a full-body hug.

"holy shit, you're real," lulu said, pulling back just enough to squint at her. "i thought you died."

"same," caroline said. "but then i remembered you'd probably show up at my funeral in a cut-out dress just to make it about you."

lulu gasped. "you know me so well."

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹ 

caroline walked in a minute late, iced coffee in one hand, phone in the other. her shirt clung to her chest like it had no business being that tight, and her shorts were the kind that made teachers sigh and guys forget their own names.

she clocked the room fast. open seat in the back.

right next to...

judd birch.

he didn't even pretend not to notice her—eyes dragging up from her legs to her lips like he was taking inventory. he was leaned back, wearing some band tee, rings on his fingers tapping lazily against the desk.

she took the seat without a word.

judd raised an eyebrow. "brave, sitting next to me."

she sipped her coffee. "this or next to the kid who smells like cat pee. not much of a toss-up."

he smirked. "so you missed me."

she gave him a look. "you wish."

"nah," he said, voice low. "i know."

the teacher started rambling about lab safety or whatever. caroline ignored him.

judd passed her a pencil.

she blinked. "what's this for?"

"figured you'd come unprepared." he shrugged. 

she took the pencil, brushing his fingers. "thanks, i guess."

he leaned over slightly, enough that she could smell his cologne. clean, woodsy, unfair.

"you look good," he said. not loud, just... easy.

she turned to him, surprised. "that supposed to be a compliment?"

"i don't give those out for free," he said. "but you earned it."

her lips twitched. "flirting with me now?"

he looked at her like he always did—like he saw something no one else was paying attention to. "nah. that'd be too easy."

under the table, their knees brushed again. neither moved.

she tapped the eraser of the pencil against the desk. "you still an asshole?"

"only to people i like," he said, deadpan.

caroline rolled her eyes. but the corner of her mouth curved up anyway.

and judd?

he didn't stop looking at her the whole class.

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹ 

the sun was already starting to dip when caroline pulled up outside bridgeton middle in her black car, one hand on the wheel, the other flipping through music on her phone.

she didn't have to pick matthew up. but something about her first day back made her feel weirdly soft, like she owed the universe one nice deed. plus, she needed an excuse to avoid homework and whatever that weird tension with judd had been all day.

she honked once.

matthew popped out a second later,  jogged over—followed by a flash of red hair and the sound of someone complaining dramatically.

"you're a literal lifesaver," matthew said, yanking open the back door.

"hi, caroline!" jessi squeaked, waving as she slid in after him.

caroline blinked. "wait—what is this?"

"emergency," matthew said, like he'd practiced it. "jessi needs to buy something and mom's at work and dad's emotionally unavailable."

"we could just walk," jessi whispered.

"anyway," matthew continued, ignoring her, "you're cool, you've got a car, and you love me."

"bold of you to assume any of those things," caroline muttered, but she was already shifting into drive. "where am i going?"

"target. or death," matthew said dramatically.

"preferably target," jessi added. "but i'm open."

caroline sighed and turned up the volume. "you two are gremlins."

matthew leaned forward between the seats. "we missed you too."

she glanced at him, a rare soft smile tugging at her mouth. "yeah, yeah. buckle up, losers."

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹ 

caroline parked crooked on purpose. matthew called it "making more time." jessi immediately unbuckled.

"i'm probably just gonna borrow," jessi said, half to herself, half to the gods. "because life's short and i have no money."

matthew rolled his eyes. "that's what caroline is here for."

"right," caroline scoffed, "i'm your wallet."

caroline trailed behind them, keys shoved in her back pocket, adjusting the hem of her tight black tee as she walked. the air was still thick from the day, and her shorts weren't doing her any favors.

inside, the air conditioning smacked them in the face. the store felt weirdly empty, actually why would it be full anyway?

they made it past the dollar section, past the tech aisle, just about to hit the clothes when—

"shit," matthew whispered.

caroline followed his gaze.

and there he was.

judd birch.

standing by the ropes like he belonged there. shirt tight around his arms, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a short amount of rope. he looked so him that caroline almost laughed.

judd looked up—and yeah, of course he saw her. his eyes did that stupid little flicker of surprise, but not really surprise. more like, of course it's you.

he nodded once, subtle. "hey."

caroline crossed her arms. "you stalking me now?"

he smirked. "you wish."

"not even a little."

matthew elbowed jessi. "is that judd?"

"uh, yeah," jessi whispered. "holy shit. he's hot."

judd ignored them entirely, eyes still on caroline. "what are you doing here?"

"shopping," she said flatly. "you?"

he held up the rope. "clearly rethinking my life."

caroline snorted. "those are definitely for training your raccoons."

judd stepped forward a little, just close enough to drop his voice. "nice shirt."

she rolled her eyes. "you've seen it. literally saw me in it this morning."

"yeah," he said. "and it's still working."

her stomach flipped—annoyingly.

"gross," matthew muttered behind her. "can i go die now?"

judd's eyes flicked toward him, amused. "he always this dramatic?"

"yes," caroline said.

"i'm still here," matthew added.

judd just smirked again and turned back down the aisle, tossing the rope into his basket without looking.

"see you around, caroline."

she didn't respond. just watched him walk away like the problem he was.

jessi exhaled sharply. "was that—was that a thing?"

caroline ignored her.

"that was so a thing," matthew whispered.

caroline grabbed a random lip gloss from the rack and threw it in the cart. "let's go before i hit someone."

and she meant judd. definitely judd. maybe.

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

caroline dropped them off in front of jessi's house, headlights cutting across the driveway.

"thanks for the ride," jessi said, unbuckling with the speed of someone escaping a war zone. "and the emotional support through the candy aisle."

"you're welcome," caroline deadpanned.

matthew leaned over before climbing out. "text me if you spiral."

"when," jessi corrected.

caroline watched them go, waiting until they were inside before pulling off.

she didn't go home.

instead, she drove on autopilot, fingers tapping the steering wheel, music low. the sky was bleeding orange into pink now, and the road twisted through old neighborhoods until she found herself pulling into the lot of the old park.

god, this place. she used to spend summers here, drinking slushies with leah, laying in the grass with headphones in. sneaking a joint behind the jungle gym. this place knew all her secrets.

she cut the engine.

then spotted it—one lone figure sitting on the swings. long legs stretched out, head tipped back, smoke curling lazily into the sky.

judd.

of course.

she got out, slamming the door maybe a little too loud. "what the hell are you doing here?"

he didn't look surprised. just took another slow drag, voice raspy as ever. "same thing as you, i guess."

"which is?"

he exhaled. "avoiding my house. being dramatic. smoking weed alone." he smirked. "want some?"

caroline considered it for half a second. then walked over and sat on the swing next to him, legs crossing, hand out.

he passed the joint.

she inhaled, coughed, wiped her eyes, and muttered, "god, that's strong."

"you're welcome."

they sat in silence for a bit. the kind that didn't feel awkward. just quiet.

"you always end up where i go," she finally said.

judd glanced at her sideways. "maybe you go where i end up."

she kicked at the gravel. "weird answer."

"it's a weird day."

she took another hit. this time, smoother. "you were less annoying when we were fourteen."

"you wore braces and called me 'booger boy.'"

"you ate a bug on a dare."

"it was protein," he shrugged. "i was ahead of my time."

she laughed, breathy and surprised.

judd watched her through the smoke. "you laugh like nothing matters."

"maybe nothing does."

he passed the joint back. "maybe."

the sun dipped lower, and the sky shifted purple.

she didn't say anything when her shoulder brushed his and he didn't move away.

they got stupid high.

like giggling at woodchips high. 

caroline was sprawled inside the jungle gym now—specifically, inside the faded plastic tube they used to dare each other to crawl through in second grade. she had one sneaker kicked off, the joint passed lazily between her and judd as they laid side by side like two idiots.

"i feel like i'm inside a womb," she muttered, staring at the curved plastic above them. it was red and scratched up, with someone's name carved into it in sharpie.

"dude," judd said, blinking slow. "we're inside the womb of memory."

caroline snorted. "that's not a thing."

"it is now."

silence again. except for the crickets and the faraway hum of a streetlamp buzzing somewhere in the distance.

judd shifted so his head was propped on his elbow, looking down at her. his other hand still held the joint, smoke curling up toward the ceiling of the tube.

caroline looked back at him, eyes red and glassy, lips parted just a little from laughing too hard a second ago.

"you ever think about how weird it is that we grew up here?" she asked. "like—like this place saw us when we were gross and tiny."

"speak for yourself," judd mumbled. "i had style."

"you had sandals."

"and i owned them."

she grinned, cheeks flushed, and then—it shifted. that split-second shift where something turns from funny to something else entirely.

judd reached out, brushing her hair behind her ear with that lazy kind of gentleness that didn't match how much he usually annoyed her. his fingers grazed her cheek, warm and slow.

"you're really pretty," he said, voice low.

caroline blinked. "you're really high."

"yeah," he admitted. "but i'd still say it if i wasn't."

and then—he leaned in.

she could've stopped him. should've, maybe. but her body didn't get the message. she leaned into it like it was second nature.

their lips met—warm, slow, really high. it wasn't perfect. he bumped her nose. she laughed against his mouth.

but then they adjusted. and it got quieter.

and she kissed him back.

the kiss got deeper, slower, messier in that good way. caroline's arms curled around judd's neck, fingers threading into the back of his hair like it was instinct. judd shifted closer, hand sliding up the side of her neck and into her hair, the other pressing lightly at her waist, like he wasn't sure how close he was allowed to be.

her back hit the side of the tube and she barely noticed, too distracted by how warm his mouth was and how stupid this all was, how right it somehow still felt.

he pulled back just a little, forehead resting against hers, both of them breathing hard and a little crooked.

"i missed you," she whispered.

"yeah," he said. "me too."

𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

the front door creaked as they stepped inside, the familiar warmth of the house wrapping around them. it still smelled like old laundry and whatever candle diane was obsessed with that week.

leah was on the couch, legs crossed, chips in her lap, remote in hand. her head whipped around when she saw them walk in together.

pause.

"...oh my god," she said, eyes wide. "seriously?"

caroline just raised an eyebrow. "what?"

leah stared, then pointed between them like she needed backup. "you—him—you literally made me swear i'd kill you if you ever went back to that mess again."

judd dropped onto the armrest of the couch, smug. "hey, leah."

"don't 'hey leah' me, judd. you're the mess."

"been told."

caroline flopped onto the couch beside her, stealing a chip. "relax. it's not like that."

leah gave her a look.

caroline chewed, shrugged. "okay. it's a little like that."

leah sighed, dramatic. "you two are gonna rot in horny purgatory and drag the rest of us with you."

judd grinned. "sounds cozy."

leah didn't laugh—but she didn't kick them out either.

caroline just leaned back, a soft smile playing on her lips, head still spinning. she didn't know what the hell she was doing.

but for tonight, it didn't feel so bad.