Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Lips crashed against eachother, while the Lieutenants back meet the wall, a breath escaped him, suprised from the force behind it.

The taste of alcohol and cigarettes still in both man's mouths, while their tongues played together.

Soaps hands were caged around the other soldiers waist, even if one left the body to fumble -without much success- for the doorknob.

Grinning against the heated kiss, Ghost pushed the Sergeant slightly away -not breaking the kiss- and opened the door himself.

"Fucking finnaly..." The scot groaned with an impatient need behind it, grabbing Ghost by his shirt and almost shoving him inside.

With a kick the door landed closed behind them, which neither of them realized. They were to much into the moment.

Ghost moved backwards, when his thighs hit the bed he let himself fall backwards, pulling Soap right on top of himself.

Their crotches meet and both bodies shudder from the electricity running through their lower region.

Sitting up and breaking the kiss with that, Soap straddled the Lieutenants hips, feeling the bulge press against his ass.

"Someone's quiet eager, huh LT?" His voice laced with a Scottish accent and a lot of tease.

"Look at yourself, Johnny." Ghost answered and moved his hips up, letting his lower stomach rub over Soaps erection.

A moan escapes the Sergeants mouths. "You bastard." He groaned and pulled his shirt off, throwing it somewhere away from the bed.

Leaning back down, their lips crashed back together, more urgently than before. Hands wandered over Ghost chests, gliding down his sides and urgently opened his belt.

Almost ripping the zipper down with a bit to much strenght, Ghost couldn't stop the smirk from rising up on his lips.

Watching Soap being so eager for him was hot, so fucking hot. "Let me help ya..." He hummed and quickly stripped out of his pants, before leaning up and reaching for the brim of the Sergeant trousers.

Soap made a pleased hum, letting Ghost do the work, while he placed random kisses all over the blond man's jaw.

Both didn't care to leave marks, most of the time the gear would hide them and if not, the others never asked. Probably thinking it were bruises from training or something.

"Hm, you're so hot Simon." Soap hummed between kisses, his eyes glazed over by lust and something much deeper. Love.

"I hear that a lot Sergeant." Ghost chuckled, pulling down the pants in the same moment, but Soap couldn't really wait anymore.

He stood up from the bed and pulled them off himself, while the Lieutenant did the same with his shirt.

The blond smirked as he saw the cock of his boyfriend being fully hard. "You really are happy to see me, huh?"

The Scott leaned back over Ghost again, crawling over him and agreeing with a shaky, lustful breath. "The happiest."

"Oh yeah? Show me how happy." Soap instantly reached for the soldiers boxershorts, but didn't pull them off yet.

He looked up, made eye contact and asked with a soft voice. "You're really alright with it?"

Ghost looked at him and felt a warmth in his chest, before he smiled and nodded. "Rip em off and fuck me Johnny."

"Yes Sir." Soap whispered with a soft smile and kissed him, a kiss full of love... before he ripped the boxers off of his partner.

The blond shivered as the cold air hit his erection, which was grabbed by a hand, making him moan.

The Sergeant swallowed down saliva, while he watched his own thumb run over the shaft and rub a bit over it, playing with the tip.

The breaths, groans and moans that Ghost let out were like music to him. "Good Simon, just enjoy it. Let me take care of you."

And the Lieutenant did just that, he leaned his head back into the blanket, pressed his hips automatically further against the friction of the hand on his cock.

His own hands gripped into the sheets, eyes closed and he was simply enjoying this moment.

Ghost felt his partner shifted between his legs, before suddenly his eyes flatter open as a mouth wrapped around his tip. "Fuck, Johnny... just like that."

Soap was on his stomach between the blonds legs, using both his hands to hold onto Ghost thighs and closed his lips around the top of his dick.

Sucking on it, he slowly took it deeper, letting it hit against the back of his mouth before he moved his head up again.

"Ngh, you're so good at this~" Ghosts voice was deeper and heavier, driven by pleasure his fingers found their way into Soaps mohawk, who looked up with the brightest puppy eyes ever seen.

And even when the Sergeant himself felt his own hard dick press against the bed and his stomach, his need higher than everything. Even then he wanted to focused on his partner first.

Moving his hands, he let them wander over the blonds ass, caressing the skin, while his mouth didn't stop.

The Lieutenant felt the soft hair between his fingers, the wet mouth around his cock and the hands grapping his ass.

A loud 'popp' was heared when Soap pulled his head up. "Simon... c-can I?" He whispered out of breath, a saliva string still connected his tongue to the soldiers erection.

"Go ahead..." The blond consented, looking down just to watch his partner lick over his tip and taking it back into his mouth.

The Sergeants right hand left Ghosts body for a few seconds, grabbing the lube and sqeezing a bit onto his fingers before he moved them back to his ass.

"Mhm..." The blond groaned as a finger pressed against his hole and slowly entered, moving around and carefully working him open, before a second finger entered.

Soap felt how the Lieutenant tensed a bit and made sure to distract him by using his mouth and tongue. His fingers moved, scissoring a bit, before he added a third one.

"A-ah, okay... okay... I'm ready..." Ghost whispered out a half moan, but the Sergeant wanted to be extra sure.

Despite Ghost being one of the strongest and most capable soldiers he knew, he was well aware that Simon was a rather sensitive and vulnerable person under his mask.

Moving his fingers in and out a few more times, he licked one last time over the dick in his mouth and let go of both. "You sure?"

The Lieutenant shivered, suddenly feeling the emptiness from the missing fingers. "Yes, I'm sure... Come on now, Johnny."

He mumbled and wrapped his legs around the Scots waist, pulling him in. Soap smirked and nodded, placing his hands on Ghosts hips. "As you wish."

Slowly and carefully he pressed his cock against the blonds hole, moaning as the tight warmth enveloped him.

The blond man raised his hips, making it easier for the Sergeant to slip into him, he moaned when he was slowly filled, inch by inch.

He grabbed onto the Scots shoulders, holding onto it while he was filled fully. When Soap was completely inside he waited, only willing to move if he got the signal that it wouldn't hurt.

Ghost nodded after a few seconds, breathing in a few short breaths before he gulped and nodded again. Soap started to move, pulling put and pushing back into him.

Both soldiers moaned in unison, fingers digging into eachothers skin. "Fuck you feel so good Simon~" Soap hummed while moving a bit faster and shifting his position a bit.

"Ah~ Right there, Johnny~" Ghost moaned out loudly when he prostate was hit, his hands clenching onto Soaps shoulders while his eyes flutter shut.

The Sergeant leaned down, wrapped his arms around his partner and pressed himself against him, while he still pounded into him, aiming for that spot.

From the blowjob before and the repeating message against his g-spot, the Blond felt his whole body growing hot.

His abdomen filling with heat, fuck... he was close. "J-Johnny..." "I know, me too Simon, me too." Soap whispered breathless, feeling both him and himself growing closer.

"You're so good, come for me Simon~" Ghosts breaths had turned into whimpers, only a few seconds after he heared the words of his pattern, he climaxed.

"Ah!~ Johnny~" The hot cum spilled between their stomachs, all over both of ther skins.

Soap watched in awe how the blonds eyes rolled back and his body twitched in pleasure, the sight was almost enough to make him orgasm himself.

He pumped into him a few more times before he spilled himself deep inside Ghost, groaning in pleasure, he ride out his orgasm, moving all sloppy now since his own legs were shaking.

"I love you so much Simon~ So much~" The Scot moaned in a bliss, while he slowly came to a halt and lowered himself onto Ghost.

The room was filled by heavy breaths, both man exhausted but pleased. Laying in the aftermath of their heated encounter.

"I love you too." The Lieutenant whispered into the silence, running his fingers through his partners sweaty hair and pressing a kiss onto it.

"Let me clean us up and afterwards we cuddle a bit, yeah?" Soap whispered back and smiled softly. "Sounds good."

The Sergeant nodded and pulled out carefully, he reached for the tissue box on the night stand and cleaned both of them up.

After a few minutes the place and their bodies were cleaned, the soldiers were wearing shirts and boxershots now, holding eachother in simple love and comfort.

"Let's get some sleep, shall we? Tomorrow starts the new mission..." Ghost whispered with a sigh, which also followed from Soap. "You're right... sleep well. Love you."

"I love you too, goodnight." Both fell asleep, hugging eachother, their bodies pressed closely together.

Chapter Text

"I'm afraid not. Your man have been- detained." The moment those words left Graves lips the time seemed to slow down.

There were Shadows everywhere. And only the three of them against all of the Shadow company? No, fuck no. They're dead, so fucking dead.

Alejandro didn't seem to think like that, he was driven by grieve and rage. His men... gone? It was Graves fault.

The Colonel attacked him, which set the time back to normal. There was no other way, either fight or die. And everyone knew what they would choose.

Ghost pulled a knife, the Shadow next to him had no chance, his throat was slit in a second. The next one went down just after that.

Shouts and guns were heared, the air thin with the tension of the fight. This wasn't some mission they went on fully prepared, no.

This was betrayal.

The Lieutenant dogged the attackers and jumped behind the car, that's when he saw it. Soap got shot. His partner, his love of his life... bleeding and in pain. He got shot?!

Simon jumped up from behind the car, using his fist and knives to get the Shadows down or at least away.

And it was close, he was just able to shove the Shadow who had raised the gun to Soaps head.

"Get out of here Johnny!" He yelled over the gunshots, eyes wide with something he hadn't felt in a while. Fear.

Fear to lose. Not the mission, not himself. Fear to lose him. His love.

Ghost was cold, strong, the best of the best. But Simon was the real him, the one that took all the emotions. The one to laugh, cry, fear and love.

And right now, Ghost wasn't the one who fought to survive. It was Simon who fought to protect.

Soap realized it in the same moment, he felt himself tear up, but had no chance to react.

The Lieutenant had pushed him away, with enough force that Soap was rolling down the slope into the woods.

"Simon!" He screamed back, his heart pounding with pure adrenaline and pain, before it almost seemed to stop.

"No! Simon, no!" The pain was apperant in his voice, it cracked and Soap couldn't stop the sob escaping his lips.

Simon had been stabbed down, the Scot had seen it. How the knife had sunk itself into Ghosts side, how five Shadows at once grabbed him and pushed him to his knees.

How Graves had knocked him out with the backside of his weapon.

Fuck. Fuck! "F-" The Sergeant managed to bite back his words and to stay quiet, he had to, otherwise the soldiers would come after him.

He had managed to get enough feet away from them so he could hide, but the time was running out. Soap had been shot, his shoulder was bleeding heavily.

What happened to Alejandro? Why did Graves betray them? And most important... was Simon still alive-

"Don't think... just function..." The Sergeant hissed to himself and pushed up to his feet.

Just function.

If he made his way back to Price then they could come back and save Alejandro and Ghost.

Function. Just function.

No dark thoughts, as long as he concentrated on walking and pressing his shoulder close he would make it.

Just... function...

He walked further and further, away from the slope, away from Graves and the Shadows and away from...

No... func... tion-

Soap felt his vision go blurry, the pain and blood loss forced him to his knees, before he collapsed completely. Everything turned black.

.

A loud ringing. A few noises behind it, but the ringing was so damn loud...

Where was he? What had happened? The betrayal... Soap!

"Johnny!" Ghost jolted awake, before instantly regretting his move. The sharp pain starting from his side was taking away his breath.

Groaning loudly, he opened his eyes again -not remembering that he had closed them in the first place- and looked around.

His hands were cuffed by chains, he couldn't move far away thanks to those because they were connected to the wall.

Carefully, Ghost tried to sit up further, using the wall to lean against it. His side burned like hell, the shirt sticked to his skin from the blood.

Shirt? Damn it. He'd been stripped of all his gear, they left him in boxershorts and a tshirt. At least his mask was still on.

"Ghost? Is that you, Amigo?" That was Alejandros voice, from the room right across his own.

Simon couldn't see it, the door to his cell was closed, if he wanted to look through the small window in it, he would have to stand up.

"Alejandro. They got you too." He groaned and got a rather bitter chuckle as an answer.

"They did. This bastard Graves... Can't believe he do this." The Colonel wasobviously pissed, Graves had took his base, attacked his men and tried to kill him.

"How are you holding up?" Alejandro suddenly asked, his voice became a bit worried. "When they dragged you in you were bleeding pretty badly."

Ghost scoffed and looked back down to his side, he could feel the blood still leaving the wound, the pulsating pain flaring up and down.

"Got stabbed, nothing vital got hit but I'm bleeding." Alejandro was about to answer, as loud footsteps approached their cells.

"And of course we don't want the big Ghost to bleed out huh?" Graves. He was grinning ear to ear when he entered the room.

Simon didn't bother to speak, he glared at him through his skull mask and if stares could kill then Graves would've been a dead man.

But unfortunately he was still standing there, grinning, a metal rod in his hand. "The silent treatment, really? Now, that's not really mature of you Ghost."

The Shadow moved the metal rod, the end was glimming in a hot orange. The grin only seemed to grow as he saw how Ghost pupils widened at the realization.

"Oh don't look at me like this, we don't want you to bleed out, right? You should be thanking me for burning out that wound."

Alejandro let out a loud breath, now also understanding what would happen. Graves was an asshole, but torture?

He tried to look at the scene through the small window in his door, he only could see Graves back, the two Shadows that waited outside -in case Ghost would try to flee- and the rod.

"Still not talking to me? Well... I will here your voice soon enough." Graves hummed with a disgusting smug tone, before he pressed the hot end right against Simons wound.

Alejandro shuddered as he heard the pained gasp followed by a small cut off scream. The air smelled like burned flesh and was filled by Graves pleased chuckle and Simons pained noises.

.

Soap didn't know how long he had been out or what had woken him up, but he jolted upright with a dark feeling in his stomach.

The bullet in his shoulder pulled him right back into reality and with the memories, the adrenaline came back too.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He hissed and pushed back onto his shaking legs. The sun had moved quiet a bit, it was a miracle that he was still alive and not bleed out or killed by a Shadow.

Making his way through the woods, the Scot kept his head low and clear, years in combat had teached him how to use the adrenaline correctly. It didn't had to be healthy to work.

And his only task right now was to find a way back to Price, without ending up as food for rats and maggots.

After around a mile, he spotted something. One of the Shadow company cars. Jackpot!

It would have a radio in it to contact Price, possible bullets could be avoided and the soldier next to it wouldn't be much of a challenge.

Soap sneaked around the car, quiet enough to not make any sound and to check for a key. Nothing. Damn it.

The Shadow probably had it, who currently was standing with his back to him. The perfect opportunity for Soap.

He jumped up from behind and wrapped his arms around the man's throat, close enough to cut of the air and make the struggle short.

The gasping shout of the soldier went down just like his dead body dropped to the ground.

Soap hissed, putting a hand back to his shoulder, while he searched for the key. A few minutes later he was on his way back, driving away from the place that had almost costed him his life. And maybe would cost him his love...

"This is Soap 141, Price do you copy?" Nothing, only statics. The Sergeant groaned annoyed, not from his Captain but from the situation.

"Price. Do you copy? This is Soap." Again, nothing. The statics make him groan louder, his grip tightened around the radio mic.

"Do you-" "Soap! For God's sake! You're alive. It's good to hear your voice, son." Soap couldn't stop the relieved breath, suddenly all the exhaustion hit him like a brick.

"It's good to hear you too, Sir. Graves betrayed us, they got Alejandro." He bit his lip, the scene of the knife sinking into Ghosts skin came back into his mind.

"And Ghost. I don't know if they are still alive, Sir." "Fuck..." Price sighed audibly on the other side, concerned and regretful. "We'll get them out of there. Let's worry about getting you home first."

Chapter Text

The silence semed to be much worse than the pained noises and dark chuckle Alejandro had heared before, now it was nothing but his own breath. "Ghost? Ghost, are you still with me?"

Silence.

The Colonel gulped and stood up from where he sat on the ground, carefully stepping closer to the door, to look through the window. "Ghost?" He tried it again.

Simon was laying with his back against the wall, a hand pressed thighly against his injury. Graves was gone, at least something good. For the moment.

The blonds mask was still covering his face, but Alejandro could see the open eyes and how his chest was raising and falling slowly. Good, he was alive.

Probably dissociated to escape the situation. Graves had proven that he was willing to be cruel, he couldve just used a bandage, but no he had burned the wound close.

A loud 'thud' made him step back from the door, a Shadow had kicked against it. "Food." He said coldly and opened the door. For a second the Colonel just wanted to sprint forward and knock the soldier out, but the Shadows in the background were to many.

He wouldve been shot before he even reached the door, which had closed the moment the food tray hit the floor. The footsteps left and he realized that they hadnt given any food to Ghost.

.

Soap felt his shoulders slump further down, he was almost there, only a few more feet. The adrenaline was gone, with the safety the exhaustion followed. If he could, he would sleep for days.

But that wasn't possible, not when his partner was still in the hands of a traitor.

"Soap!" Price voice was loud, the Captain run up to the car, that Soap stopped now. The door got opened and Price instantly looked over his soldier. The blood, the bullet wound, the exhaustion, the tired eyes.

"Im sorry, son." The Captain mumbled and pulled Soap out of the car seat, making sure to let his weight be on his own shoulders. "The medic waits for you, we fix you right back up and go after that bastard."

The Sergeant nooded, not able to say much when his thoughts only wandered around one thing. "They have Simon. Graved has Simon... he got stabbed."

Price eyes widen, but he quickly gained his composure. "Simon is a though cookie, he'll make it." Two medics run up to them, they helped Soap onto a sluggish and instantly started to take care of the wound.

"Get him back Price." Soap whispered, the exhaustion and blood loss had grown to much, he felt his consiousnnes slip. With a last bit of strenght he gabbed onto his Captains shoulder. "Dont you dare leave him behind..."

Price watched Soap fall unconsious, it hurted to watch, the guilt that he had let his men down was apparent. "Of course not, never. We'll find him and bring him home."

.

"Ghost, hey Amigo. He's coming back." Alejandro whispered, trying to be quiet enough so Graves didn't hear him, but also loud enough so Ghost would break out of his dissoaciation.

And the Lieutenant did, he blinked multiple times, felt the sharp burning sensation in his side and wrapped his hand around it further.

Just the moment he managed to sit up, the door was almost slammed open. "Wakey, wakey, little ghost." Graves voice was similar to singing, he seemed to get a kick out of his power position.

"And? Are you more talktive now?" He asked and crouched down in front of the masked soldier, who still just glared at him. "No? Okay, thats fine with me. I have all time in the world, they wont find you anyways."

"Graves, I swear, if you-" Alejandro was cut off by a Shadow who shut the window in his door, now the only thing he could do was listen.

"Thats better. Now, where were we? Right." Graves smirked at Ghost, letting a hand wander up to the skull mask.

"You know, I always asked myself why you wore that mask. To stay hidden maybe. You could also be as ugly as the night... Or maybe you really are ghost and when you pull the mask away theres just air."

He laughed at his owm joke, the fingers suddenly became harsh and wrapped around the edge of the mask. "Why dont we find out?" And with that, Graves ripped the mask down and exposed his face.

For a few short seconds, Simon just wanted to keep his eyes close, he felt naked without his maks. No, worse. It felt like a cold knife pressed against his throat the moment the air hit his skin.

But he forced them back open. "You bastard." The Lieutenant growled, which only brought a cruel laugh over Graves lips.

"Suddenly not so quiet anymore, huh? But fuck... you look bad. What the fuck is that? Scars as if you were smiling? And that burn mark on your neck, Jesus Christ, no wonder youre wearing that mask. You are fucking ugly!" The Leader of the Shadows stood up.

With a overly exagerated disgusted noise, he ripped the skull off of the mask and crushed ot with his foot. "I dont want you to hide that disgusting face, makes me laugh just thinking about you."

Graves taunted and made sure that Simon saw how the balanclava was slowly torn into pieces.

The blond solider watched, but kept his lips pressed together. His scars were a weakness, he hated them, there was a reason he wore that mask. But it wasnt a big weakness, he knew how to handle a few harsh words.

"Now that we got that out of the way. I think that you maybe want another piece of cloth in your face." With a snap of his fingers, four Shadows entered the cell, buckets of water in their hands.

"I assume that you dont want to talk about the coordinates of the others, huh? Where you guys have your safehouses." Graves asked with a grin, knowing full well that his capitve wouldnt speak that fast.

"No? Alright. Go on boys." Two Shadows wrapped a piece of cloth over Simons mouth and pressed him against the wall. He couldnt move, he just froze and took a last deep breath.

The water was poured over the cloth, it didnt take long -only a few seconds that felt like years- until Ghost started to struggle for air, he gargeld, but didnt got air into his lungs.

Alejandro closed his eyes and cursed, he didnt have to see it to know that Simon was getting water boarded right in this moment, just in the cell right across his own.

At first, after the incident with the metal rod before, he had feared he would get tortured too. But now he was sure that Graves didnt need anything from him but his life, to stay in his hands in case the mexican forces wanted to step in.

At the same time he felt like Graves tried to hurt Ghost with that too, the asshole knew that both soldiers worked together. Now if he was the only one who didnt got food and got hurted, taunted and tortured, while Alejandro didnt... It must feel shitty.

Graves nooded and the water stopped, Simon took a desperat gasp in, his head fell forward so the cloth would fall down from his mouth. While every breath and cough was a fight, he raised his eyes and looked back at Graves.

"Oh ho, still enough energy to glare angry? Cute." With Graves gesture the cloth was pulled back over his face. The struggle began from new.

.

Price paced back and forth, he stood infront of the medic tent in which Soap was currently laying. He had send a few men out to look for Ghost, but nothing. The Shadow Company had dissapeared, it wasnt that there were no traces to follow.

No, there were to many. Almost everywhere, it was way to much to follow in just one day. Graves was smart, to many traces was almost worse than absolutely no traces.

In the end there was always something left behind, it was easier to find that small thing than to find the correct clue in a mountain of others.

Price was broken out of his thoughts when the medic stepped out of the tent. "How is he?" "Stable, we got the bullet out. The fact that it still had been in his shoulder saved him. Otherwise he wouldve bleed out."

The medic sighed and shook his head. "Im honestly a bit suprised he had made it this far and stayed consious for so long. He's a fighter and with that will, hes back up on his feet by tomorow. Avoid fights, make sure to take care of the wound, pain meds are on his table."

Price nodded and thanked the medic before he turned around and entered the tent. Soap laid in his bed, his torso naked and a big bandage around his shoulder, the skin was pale and sweaty.

How could he tell him that he hasnt found Simon yet? Price was well aware of the realationship between those two. "Im sorry, son." He sighed and sat down on the chair next to Soaps, who was still asleep.

Chapter Text

Simon laid on the ground, hugging himself to keep his body -without much success- from shivering. It was cold in the cell, he didnt wore much clothes and his shirt and hair was still weat from the water boarding.

Even hours later he could feel his lungs burning, sometimes he couldnt stop the small gasp when a water beat dropped down his face. As if his mind braced itself again to drown.

"Im sorry." Alejandros voice made the Lieutenant open his eyes, it was dark but light fell into his cell from under the door and the small window in it.

"For what?" Ghost voice sounded rough, hoarse from screaming and fighting for air. "That he only hurts you." The Colonel mumbled back and quickly added. "How are you holding up?"

The silence came back in which Simon check his side, it looked gruesome and should probably feel just as bad, but he was to concentrated on the air to really feel it. "Im fine."

Liar.

Both knew it, nobody was fine after getting tortured for hours. "Isnt your first time, I assume." The mexican didnt saw it himself, but he had heared Graves talk about the scars on Ghost face. He figured that the other soldier had been tortured before.

Simon didnt answere, he didnt like talking about his past. No one really knew what had been done to him, exept for Price, a few doctors and... and Johnny.

"Hes not touching you because you cant give him what he needs if you're injuired." Alejandro modded in agrement to that, he had thought that himself. "A dead hostage isnt a good hostage."

Ghost grunted as an answere and closed his eyes again, in opposite to the Colonel he was fucked. Graves wanted coordinates, Simon didnt want to give them out. It was a matter of whos will is stronger.

"They will come and get us out." Alejandro mumbled and sighed, he was doubting it himself. This place and those damn Shadows were good, it was bad for them.

"Its unfair..." Alejandro added and sighed again, the silence creept back over the other soldier and the Colonel knew it was better to keep quiet now and let him recover. "Get some sleep, I'll say when hes coming back."

Simon curled further into himself. Hopefully never... Hopefully Johnny would walk through that door the next time it would be opened. That would be great...

.

Soap had slep through the night, he had needed it, his body had been more than exhausted. But now, he was more furious. "What do you mean, there are to many clues?! Fucking go after them!"

"Soap, there are to many, if we follow every single one of them it will take months and I doubt that we find the right one in time-" "In time?! For what, huh? In time to get Simon out there alive? If he isnt already dead!" The Sergeant snapped at Price and scoffed.

"I know what he means to you, but thing logically-" "Dont go that fucking way Price! If you tell me to heal and concentrate on my job rather than go search for him, I will go fucking crazy." Price sighed, the soldier in the bed infront of him was like that for a while now.

"Im not giving him up, never. And you know it." He paused and checked if he would get interrupted again, but Soap was bussy with glaring at him.

"I just cant risk more men. Im not only in charge of you and him, despite... Im having Gaz out there, hes checking everything for hours now. Videos tapes, phones we could find, hell everything that might lead to the right clue. Hes exhausted like we all are."

Soap sighed and grumbled to himself. "And Im just laying in this shitty bed... Let me get out too." "No, I wont let you get out there no-" "I will go anyways!"

Price smiled softly, his soldier indeed was like he had remebered him. "You wont. Because I need you here, Gaz is in the tent B02, if you cant sit here, then sit down with him. Get through the clues faster, soldier."

Soap looked at him for a few seconds before he nodded and threw the blanket away from his legs. "Yes, Sir."

With that he fastly raised to his feet and went to the look for the tent. Not caring at all that the only thing hiding his naked torso was the bandage.

.

Alejandro flinched awake when he heared the door of the hallway glid open, he had fallen asleep, damn it. "Ghost?" He whispered through the silence that was interrupted by the footsteps approaching. "I know..." The blond answered.

The Colonel could hear the exhaustion behind it, Ghost probably hadnt sleept enough that night. Not to his suprise, who could sleep peacefully when he was only waiting for the next torture to start?

Just like the last times, Graves entered Ghost cell with a grin. "Good morning, how was the night? I'd say horrible from the way you look, but maybe its just how ugly you normaly are."

Simon simply looked up at him from his sitting position, trying to see if Graves had any tools to torture on his body, but he saw nothing unusual. "Are you checking me out? I thought you had a thing for the Sergeant." Graves laughed and made a playful grimace of pity.

"Oh... You dont know it yet. Hm, Im sorry Ghost. I really am, I wanted him as my hostage too, to put you two in a cell, but... he fought back." Simons eyes widen at that, he knew what Graves wanted to say, but he didnt believe it.

"Youre lying." Ghost hissed and narrowed his eyebrows. "I wish I was, but no. I had to shot him, seven times in total. That bastard still moved after I had already sunken three damn shots into his stomach. He just didnt want to die, screamed your name while he did."

Soap, no. No, it coudlnt be. Graves was lying! "Bullshit, he escaped." Ghost whsipered, but Graves heared the dout behind it and grinned. "He did the first time, but he was dumb. The idiot came back, tried to get you out of here. But he didnt thought that through."

The leader of the Shadows stepped outside and came back into the cell hiding something behind his back. "If you dont believe me... look at it yourself." He pulled his left hand forward at first, a picture with dogtags next to it.

Simons eyes widen furhter, his breath hitched. Johnnys tags... bloody. No, no... Then he saw the picure, of Soap, his Soap, laying on the ground shot and with empty eyes. Dead, he was dead. "No..." Simon whispered weak, he couldn't believe it.

"No! Youre lying." Graves couldnt stop his smile from growing and growing. "We both know Im not. But if youre not trusting what you see, maybe youll trust your taste." He let the tags and the picture fall to the ground and forecully grabbed Simons jaw.

The Lieutenant froze in suprise, feeling his heart hammering in his chest, before his stomach turned at the sight of food. Of flesh... uncooked and still bloody. Was that-?!

"Never say that I dont feed you or let you see your loved onced." Graves taunted, before he shoved the flesh into Simons mouth, making sure he swallowed, his eyes wandered over is hostage.

How the eyes were wide and desperate, how he heared the silent gaggs and saw the trembling hands. Even how his body was to weak to evem fight back.

Graves let go of him and dropped the rest of the flesh to the ground, where it landed with a disgusting weet sound. Raising to his feet, he watched the scene infront of him, before he cleaned his -from the flesh dirty- hand on Simons shirt.

This taste, this disgusting taste of raw meat... human meat? Was that really... Soap? Simon trembled, his mind on overdrive. He had eaten human. Johnny was dead. He was dead, his love was dead... and he had just eaten-

Alejandro felt his whole body shaking, his own stomach churned at the thought of what Graves was doing to Ghost. The Colonel heavily flinched when the small window was opened and Graves grinned at him through it. "I think your buddie is broken."

The Colonel had no strenght to answere, the desperat coughing and even vomiting in the background was to much for him. Graves had killed Soap. And not only that... he had forced Ghost to eat the flesh.

Neither Simon nor Alejandro really were aware of how Graves had left, while Alejandro was frozen, Simon had thrown up whatever was left in his stomach, before he had curled up against the wall, the tags pressed to his chest.

"Simon... that-" The Colonel started, but didnt know how to form his sentence. That was beyond cruel, Graves was a psycho. "That cant be real. Im sure Soap is all fine, hes still alive."

Simon didnt answere, he was shaking, curled up into a ball and not daring to move. The Lieutenant didnt even felt his own injuries hurting, the only thing apparent was the taste in his mouth, the picture in his mind and the dog tags in his hands.

Chapter Text

Its been hours, the sun was almost down again. Soap and Gaz still sat in the tent and looked through the clues that had been gathered. Gaz yawned deeply, he rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Nothing. The same wheel trails, different directions. Just like before."

"There has to be something..." Soap mumbled, his half lidded eyes looked through the files on the tablet. The men that were collecting the clues were sending them right to them.

Price entered the tent, he looked just as tired as the other two man. Non of them had slept for hours, they were to worried about Ghost. "We dont really have something but-" The Captain sighed and stepped to the side. "Look for yourself."

Rudy walked in, a weak half smile on his lips -that did nothing to hide his worry- "Rudy! Its good to see you, mate." Soap said and Gaz also seemed pretty relieved. "We thought Graves had gotten you too."

Rudy shook his head. "It was close, but I managed to hide. A truck of yours brought me here, otherwise I wouldve had to walk." He chuckled weakly, slumping down onto a chair.

"Tell them what you saw." Price urged and nodded to him, Rudy only nodded back and breath in before he looked at Soap. "I saw you. Dead."

The Scot frowned and scoffed. "Me, dead? Im sure as hell are still breathing." "I know now. But the man. He looked very similar, shot multiple times. I watched how a few Shadows took a picture of him, before they got rid of the body."

Rudy sighed deeply and rubbed his hands over his face. "I dont know for what, but they made a good job to make you look dead."

Gaz frowned, looking from the mexican to Soap and to his Captain. "But why, for what would Graves need Soap dead?" Price opened his mouth, but the Sergeant was faster. "Simon."

He whispered and took in a deep breath, he felt as if a cold curtain fell over him and how his chest tightened. "Graves wants to hurt him. To... to torture him. Simon is still alive."

Price had known about the two of them, Gaz by far wasnt suprised about their realationship and Rudy could count one and one together.

"How real did it look?" Price asked hesitantly, he didnt want to imagen how Soaps death would hit Simon. "Like it was him, way to real."

"Shit..." Soap hissed and turned back to look through the clues, he had to get his partner out of there, as fast as he could. "Wait. Rudy... did the fake Soap had a bullet wound in his shoulder?" Gaz suddenly asked.

"Uh yeah? Yes, I think so. Why?" Soap too knew what this was about. "The right one?" Rudy thought for a second and shook his head. "No, I dont think so."

All three task force 141 soldiers breathed out in unsion. To answere Rudys confusion, Soap pulled the shirt down to reveal his shot shoulder. His right one.

"That means, there is a chance he wont fall for it." Price nodded at Rudys conclusion. "If it even was meant for him. Simon might be able to see the difference." Soap gulped and added in a whisper. "Hopefully..."

.

Ghost hadnt moved at all when Graves came back, he still laid on the ground, with his back to the picture and the dried vomit, the dog tags in his hands.

"Wow, you look more pathetic than before, I didnt know that was possible." "Graves, you are a fucking monster! You disgusting piece of shit." Alejandro cursed at him and banged his fists against the door of his own cell.

"Oh you think so? Im not the one who literally ate a piece of his dead boyfriend." The Shadow taunted which made Ghost shudder at the memory of the taste. "You fucking psycho!" The Colonel growled again, glaring at him through the small door window.

"Oh you dont like getting reminded of it? Huh? Well to bad. Look at it again." Simons shoudlers were grabbed and he was forecully pressed up to sit, his eyes didnt look up, he clenched the tags harder to himself.

"Look at it. Look!" Graves barked, his hand wrapped around Ghosts jaw and forced him to look up, while he shoved the picture to him again, not letting the Lieutenant look away.

Pure emptiness was in his eyes, as if all his emotions were gone. Graves raised his eyebrows. "Dont tell me that you fucking dissociated. God damn it, you are weak!"

"Graves! I swear if you touch him-" Alejandro snapped his mouth shut when the Shadow next to Graves pulled out a revolver. "Dont you dare killing him!"He hissed, which brought a laugh out of Graved lips.

"No, no he doesnt deserve death yet. Im not gonna kill him. But a little round of russian roulette with his limbs sound wonderful, right?" He asked with a fake innocents and checked the chamber of the revolver.

"Graves-" "I swear to god Vargas, if you say one more thing I will shot him right here and now! Keep your fucking mouth shut." The Colonel grumbled at that but pressed his lips together.

He could do nothing but watch, how the revolver got raised and pressed against Simons leg, the short silence that only let the tension grow...

Click.

Alejandro flinched, but Ghost. Ghost didnt react at all, he didnt even look up. Graves rolled his eyes and sighed. "Wake him up, thats no fun." On command a Shadow crouched down and slapped Simon hard.

The Lieutenant hissed when he snapped out of it, his cheek was burning, his hand tightened around the tags before he tensed as the gun was put to his arm.

Click.

Simon gasped, flinching as he waited for the pain but nothing came. "Bastard..." He breathed out, the tension was clear in his voice.

"Now thats more like it! Welcome back, little ghost. You can say goodbye to one of your limbs in a few minutes. But hmm... which one is it gonna be?" Graves asked with a cruel laugh and pressed the gun against one of Ghosts hands.

Click.

The tension and flinching gave Graves the kick out of it that he wanted. The fear, he could almost smell it. "Awww that chamber was empty. Maybe you want to give me the coordinates before the next chamber wont be empty."

"No..." Alejandro took a deep breath, the fact that Ghost still refused was almost a miracle to him. But if Soap really was dead, what had he to lose other than his life?

"To bad, lets see-" Graves hummed and put the revolver right up against Ghosts stab wound, building up the pressure before he pulled the trigger.

Click.

Simon groaned in pain, there still was no bullet in him, but the pressure against his wound had been painful enough. "Still not talking? Are you sure you dont want to say it?" Graves waited a second, watching his hostage open his mouth, but he didnt let him speak.

Bang.

Alejandro shuddered at the sound and the scream following. He tried to see what had been aimed at, how bad it was, what had Graves shot?

The only thing he saw was how Simon had his eyes closed in pain, the jaw pressed together while he was slightly shaking. "You fucking..." Ghost hissed but trailed off, he had to take a deep breath in in order to not pass out.

His thigh. The Colonel could see it now, the shot had went right into the soldiers thigh. A pool of blood was already collecting under it.

"Now thats more like it. Does it hurt? How much? Huh, how fucking much does that shit hurt?" He yelled and put a hand to the fresh wound, making Simon scream out again.

"Worse than eating your dead friend?" Simon flinched again, his mind overwhelmend from both the situation, the wound, the pain and the memory. He gasped for air, his body shook.

"Sir, I believe hes going into shock." The Shadow next to Graves said, who simply nodded with a pleased simle. "Good, it will show him how weak he is. Take care of his wound, then leave him like that." "Yep yep." The Shadow waited until Graves left.

He pulled the bullet out and wrapped a bandage around the wound, when he was done he left too. Leaving Simon shaking and tense, his eyes completly wide, while he stared to the ground.

Alejandro didnt know what to do or to say, he saw Ghost -his real face, no mask- how his eyes were filled with so much terror and pain and emptiness at the same time.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked to the side, trying to get his own body to stop shaking. Graves was sick, so fucking sick...

"Simon? I need you to breath." The Colonel tried to calm his fellow soldier, not knowing if his words would even reach him. He had never been in such a situation and to comfort him, he didnt knew him long enough.

"Come on, you can do it. Deep breaths. In and out." Alejandro tried it again, but no avail. Simons mind wasnt in the right state, he didnt hear anything.

His memories were filled with nothing but Johnny, his Johnny, how they laughed and loved. How he had brought a light back into his life and how it had been taken from him again.

The betrayal, the Shadow that had shot Soap and almost killed him, the tags that he was still clenching so hard to. And the taste of the flesh-

Ghost stomach turned again, he gagged but there wasnt anything he could throw up now. So instead he grabbed the picture that still laid on the floor, pressed it weakly against himself without looking at it and closed his eyes.

Alejandro watched and sighed. This here was pure evil. "Its gonna be okay..." He whispered without believing it much himself.

Chapter Text

"Boys, you might want to-" Price raised his eyebrows, he had just barged into the tent again, but both Gaz and Soap had fallen asleep, with the heads on the tabel.

No wonder, both hadnt slept in a while and were very exhausted. "What is it, Captain?" Rudy asked, the only one of the three who hasnt fallen asleep, even if he looked pretty exhausted himself.

"We catched a truck, four Shadows in it. Not Graves, nor Ghost or Alejandro. But if someone knows about anything useful, then its them." Whle Price explained it, Soap had woken up, he was instantly fully awake and on his feet.

"Where are they?" The Scot asked coldly, nudging Gaz to wake him up too. "They'll be here in a few, but Soap. Whatever you do, we want them to stay alive."

Price said with a lot of authority in his voice, before he added. "At least until we know where our men are."

"Oh dont worry, Sir. They'll sing soon enoug." Soap growled and stepped past Price, out of the tent. Rudy was right behind him, both wanted to get them back, as fast as possible.

Gaz yawned, stretching his arms which caused his back to crack and him to groan. "What did I miss?" "We catched a few Shadows." The Sergeant let out a short amused laugh. "Poor bastards."

Gaz stood up too and nodded to his Captain. "If Soap is on it, then I don't wanna miss that show. Lets go." Price grunted and nodded. "I'm right behind you, Kyle."

Both walked over to the where the Shadow Soldiers would get interogated. The closer they got, the louder Soap yells became. "I ask you one last time! Where is Graves?!"

There was so much hate and anger in the Sergeants voice, that the enemy soldiers could do nothing but stare at him with big eyes. Rudy sighed, slapping the first one when nobody talked. "He asked a fucking question. Answere."

.

The footsteps were louder and faster than all the times before, when Graves ripped the door open, it swung against the wall. The loud bang made both Alejandro and Ghost flinch.

There was no grin or smile on Graves face, just pure anger. "You guys have caught four of my men. Of my men! If you dont tell me where the fucking base is right away, you will regret every single breath you take for the rest of your life!"

Simon was still shaking a bit, the exhaustion and pain -both mentaly and physically- had drained him of all his energy. He couldnt even comprehend the words in time, before he had already been kicked to the ground.

He winced in pain, his side throbbing with the pain of the kick and the stab wound. "Say it!" Graves barked and kicked full force into his stomach.

Alejandro watched with wide eyes, how the leader of the Shadows seemed to be in so much fury, that he didnt even care about much anymore.

"Where." His foot landed in Ghost stomach again. "Is." And again. "The." And again. "Fucking." And again. "Base?!"

There wasnt even enough for Simon to catch a breath let alone talk, the kicks had him on the ground, curled up, trying to wrap his arms around his stomach, as much as the cuffs would let him.

Graves was breathing heavily, making a sound of pure anger and annoyance before he pulled Ghost onto his knees. "You little fucking bitch! If you cant use your mouth for talking, I'll use it otherwise!"

Alejandro couldn't even yell out for Graves to stop, the Shadow had already opened his zipper, pulled out his half hard cock and forced it into Simons mouth.

The Colonel winced and looked down, not wanting to see that and wanting to give Ghost at least a little bit of respect back. "You sicko..."

Simons eyes were wide, he tried to pull his head back, to flee from the thing... the dick... in his mouth, but Graves grabbed into his hair and forced his face further to him.

"Thats your own damn fault, Ghost! If you would've just told me right away." He grunted to the Lieutenant, while he moved his hips back and forced himself fully into the mouth now, letting out a small moan at the feeling of the weet warmth surrounding him.

Simon gagged against it, which only seem to brought more pleasure to the man face fucking him currently.

He struggled to breath, his whole body seemed to burn in pain and there was nothing left for him but to close his eyes and simply take it.

Soap was dead, he wouldn't get out of here, he was hurt and used... Simon would gladly die here.

But no, Graves wouldnt let him, he didnt even let him dissociate again, thrusting into his throat with a lot more force, just to keep Ghosts mind in the situation.

"Do you feel that? Thats your only use. Youre just a warm hole to get fucked. And if you dont want my men to do that too, then you better tell me where the damn base is." Graves voice was a mixture of anger, pleasure and pure threat.

Simon gagged against the cock again, opening his eyes and regreting it at the same time at the eyecontact. Not a single tear fell but Graves didnt need them to fall in order to see the watery eyes.

And that was when his grin returned. Had he found it? The one thing that even the big mighty Ghost couldn't handle? "Good, remember that feeling, taste it and remember that Soap will never want you back after this, you fucking whore."

Alejandro cringed, the sounds were to much, to disgusting. He could here the weet noises, skin slapping against skin, the moans and the gagging. Wait.

Soap wouldnt want Ghost back? So Soap was... still alive.

Maybe this could give him hope, the Colonel thought that there wasnt anything that could make it worse, so he might as well try. "H-hes still alive. You hear me Simon? Soap is still alive. Graves just said-" "Shut the fuck up!"

Graves yelled back, only thrusting more violently. Simon wined pained and disgusted and closed his eyes again, but he had heared Alejandro.

Johnny was still alive? But the picture... and the dog tags? No, Graves really said-

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Graves buried himself deep into his throat, holding his head there while he orgasmed.

There wasnt anything Ghost could do while the warm seemen poured down his throat. He was disgusted, but the feeling heightend when Graves pulled his dick out of his mouth and splurted the last drops all over his lips and face.

"Thats more like it, thats how a whore should look like, covered in cum." Graves said coldly, his cock slowly softened and touched the Lieutenants cheek.

Simon flinched when he saw the flash of light behind his eyelids, he opened them and a picture was taken again. Of his face, covered in white liquid, a dick resting against his cheek and eyes filled with tears.

Graves grinned, cleaned his cock by rubbing it over Simons hair and tucked it back into his pants. "Your friends will be happy to see that." He hummed and crouched down, cuffing the wrists together so Ghost couldnt even touch his face anymore.

"You know, if you wont give me the coordinates to the base, I'll get them elsewhere. As long as youre against talking, I will make use of you like that." The leader of the Shadows sounded like a dissapointed father, while he stood back up and sighed.

"Thats youre own fault, life with it or talk. Im fine with both, you whore." With that he left him alone, letting the door fall close and leaving Simon on his knees, his face, hair and lips dirty with... with...

"Im so sorry, Amigo..." Alejandro whispered, shortly taking a look at his fellow soldier, through the little door window, but turning his head away instantly again.

There wasnt anything he could think of saying that would make this situation any better for Simon. So the Colonel stayed quiet for the next minutes.

Simon did that too, he was still sitting on his knees, slowly comprehending everything that had happened in the last few minutes.

Slowly he let himself fall backwards, his back hit the wall and he moved his sore knees, not even reacting to the ache in them. He hasnt blinked in a while, simply staring off to the ground.

The cum that covered him would become dry in a bit, the salty taste did nothing in soothing the memory of the flesh in his mouth. At least the flesh hadnt been Johnny, his Johnny...

Ghost tried to clean his face with his shoulders, as good as he could. If John was still alive, then the picture was fake. Only when he reached for it, he saw how much his hands were shaking.

The person on the picture, looked so much like him, like his Soap, but- wait. The shoulder, the wound was on the wrong shoulder. This picture didnt show the real Soap.

Alejandro bit his lip when he heared the small laugh comming from the other cell, it wasnt a happy laugh. It was the laugh of a man who had lost everything and still fought, just to find out he had been lied too the whole time. A broken laugh.

That soon turned into small, silent sobs. Simon ripped the picture in two, he couldn't stop his tears anymore. Why was the world like that? There had to be anything higher that hated him. Because now... now he wanted to see him again.

Johnny. He wanted, no, needed. He needed to see him again. Not even death was now on option for him anymore. It was cruel, so cruel. So unfair...

Chapter Text

Soap run a hand over his forehead and stepped aside, Rudy instantly took his place. Both were determind to find their missing men, their missing loved once.

The Sergeant walked up to Price and Gaz, that was when all of the people in the room looked over to the small table on which the personal stuff of the shadows were kept.

The 141 men looked at eachother before Price stepped up to the table, the vibrating sound came from one of the phones of the Shadows. A message, from Graves.

"What is it?" One of the Shadows asked, out of breath from the last hours of interogation. The Captain shot him an angry look, before he looked back to the phone.

He needed a code, wait, face ID was working too. So he held it infront of the faces of the Shadow Soldiers until it had unlocked, then opened the message.

"No..." Price winced and closed his eyes, before he laid a hand over his mouth, feeling his stomach churn. "Captain?" Gaz asked concerned, while Soap stepped closer, he wanted to take a look at the phone but Price turned it away and shock his head.

"You dont want to see that, son." He whispered in a soft voice, looking at his Sergeant with a apologizing expresion. That didnt make it better at all.

Soap knew what this had to be about. "Simon, right? Please... what happened? Is he dead? Please tell me hes still alive!" Gaz stepped closer too, just like Rudy did, but Price shock his head.

"He's fi-" But he trailed off, that wouldve been a lie. Simon wasnt fine, he wasnt okay. "Lets talk outside, but hes alive." Price quickly mumbled and shot a death look to their captivies, before he walked out, followed by the three soldiers.

"Price. Price, talk to me. What did that bastard do to him?!" The anger but also fear and worry were apperent in Johnnys voice. He could only imagen how much his partner was suffering while he was all fine and save here.

"Soap, hes alive. Simon is alive." "But?" Gaz pressed, raising his eyebrows and making a hand gesture for Price to go on. "Just show it to us if you dont want to say it."

Price instinctively pressed the phone harder against his chest and shook his head. "Im not gonna do that... out of respect to Simon. Just know that Graves is a bastard. He stepped over a line that should never had been crossed."

Soap groaned angry and snapped the phone out of his Captains hands. "For fuck sake! What did that scumbag do to my boyfriend!" Price eyes widen before he closed them, it was to late, Soap had already looked at it.

Gaz and Rudy wanted to look too, but Johnny had a much worse reaction than Price had had. Pressing the phone to his chest, he turned around and vomited behind the next corner. When his stomach calmed he looked at the picture on the phone again and puked a second time.

"Fuck, that bad?" Gaz whispered and watched with horrified eyes how Soap seemed to puke his guts out. "Graves send a picture, of Simon, he had obviously been tortured but... also in other ways." The Captain explained and emphazised the word 'other'.

Rudy closed his eyes too when he understood, just like Gaz let out silent curses. "What... what about Alejandro?" Rudy felt like an ass to ask, but he needed to know. How was his Colonel? How was Ale?

"I dont know, Graves only send a picture of Simon and the threat to send him his men back... or he would do it again. Nothing about Alejandro, Im sorry." Price sighed. It could mean something good, because there werent any threaths against the Colonel.

On the other side, Simon didnt had that much luck...

.

He had laid motionless for the next few hours, not moved once. The... the stuff... Graves had covered him in had dried, but there was nothing he could do against it.

His lips were dry and his throat too, it hurted, but at this point everthing was hurting. The stab wound, the shot wound, everything. He hadnt eaten in days, despite this flesh... and the last liquid he had in his mouth was-

Simon shuddered when the door got opened, he reacted instantly when he saw the hose, covered his wound with his arms and closed his eyes. The water hit him strong, it was ice cold and made him shake.

Alejandro sighed, he didnt like what he was seeing, but at least Ghost could wash the things off that Graves did to him.

The Colonel felt guilty, because of what was happening to a fellow soldier, because he wasnt harmed while Simon suffered, because he could do nothing but sit in his cell and listen to the horror that happened only a few feet away.

Just as suddenly as the Shadows had apperead, they left again, leaving Simon behind dripping and shivering in the cold. The door stayed open, but not even the thought to flee now came to the Lieutenants mind, he had no energy left.

"Well well well, as it seems my men have washed you nice and clean for me. I dont like my toys dirty- at least not the body." Graves laughs and stepped in, crouching down infront of Simon.

Slowly, almost affectioned, he run his thumb over Ghost cheek, caressing it. "Stop, Graves. Please, please dont touch him! Just leave him alone." Alejandro sounded defeated, which only brought a louder laugh out of Graves.

"Oh my. You heared that Ghost? I made him beg to spare you." Simon watched with big eyes, his shoulders tensing more and more. The touch was unwanted and it grew bolder, run down his shoudlers to his chest. "I bet I can make you beg too."

He couldnt stop the small whine that left his throat when he got pressed -face first- down to the ground, Graves sat down on his thighs, pinning them down while keeping a hold on Simons neck.

"Graves stop, please stop! You cant do this!" Alejandro tried it again, banging against his door, desperatly looking at the leader of the Shadows through the small window.

"Oh, but I can. And I will." Graves hummed and opened his belt, the sound rang in Ghosts ears, but the sound of the zipper made him flinch much more.

He was trapped, he was exhausted and weak, injuried and even if he stopped Graves, he couldnt get out or far. He was fucked...

Literally.

Simon gasped, he tried to push his shoulders up, but didnt achieve anything, since his wrists were still cuffed behind his back. His legs weak, the shot wound in his thigh made him unable to move much.

"Struggle all you want, its funnier when you fight back." Graves breathed out with a deeper voice, licking his lips at the sight of the great Ghost being hurt and at his mercy.

The panic in Simons eyes made his cock twitch, fuck he loved it. The power he felt, he loved it so much. Thats why Graves really took his time.

He leaned over his capitve, kept him down with his body weight and slowly run a hand over the body. Letting his fingers glide over the wet shirt, then under it, down over the abdome and into... into the boxershorts.

Simon gasped when he felt the unwanted hand on his genital, struggling against the man on top of him. Alejandro flinched away from the door, he didnt want that, but he couldnt sit down now.

While the Colonel walked in circles, his eyes to the ground and hands over the ears, the Shadow slowly stroked his hand up and down, run a hand over the tip and rubbed in circles over it.

"You like that? Probably reminds you of Soap. Or maybe not, maybe youre turned on by this. Oh my god, you like that, dont you? Getting violated by another man, you dirty slut." Graves laughs, feelings his own dick growing harder the more he touched Ghost.

Simon shook his head, whining in disgust, he didnt like this, he hated it. It was disgusting and the feeling of the boner pressing against his ass was a lot more frightening.

"Dont..." He whispered, not allowing himself to beg or pleaded, even when the hand around his cock made him want to do it.

"We both know you want it, darling." Graves chuckled, using his free hand to pull away Simons boxershorts and grab his own dick, lining it up.

"Just relax, Ill make it feel good... or not. Depends if you like it rough~" Simon let out a cut off scream when he felt the sudden move of a dick forcing its way inside of him.

His eyes wide, breaths came out fast and ragged. Fuck, it hurts. It hurts so much, there was no lube, no preperation. Just brutal force.

Graves on the other side groaned out loud, not believing how good that felt. For a second he stayed in the bliss, before he grabbed onto Simons hips and pulled his own back, just to slam inside of him again.

"No wonder Soap has always that stupid smile on his face, youre a living sex doll." He moaned and started thrusting into the warmth.

Simons whole body got shoved and pulled from the movements, he was sure that he was tearing, there was no way something that was this painful couldnt be bleeding. Tears stung his eyes, he closed them, but that didnt stop them from falling.

Why? Why was this happening? If he just had been strong enough! If he just had fought better! Graves groaned in ecstasy, letting his hips meet Simons ass harder.

"Fuck, look at you. Youre almost handsome with that terror in your face." He moaned and leaned further over the violated man, a grin on his lips when he saw his cock gliding in and out more easily, the blood seemed to work good.

Alejandro had stopped walking, he sat in the corner of the cell, his legs pulled to his body, eyes shut close and hands pressed against his ears. He couldnt bare hearing all those sounds...

Chapter Text

Its been severeal hours, but Soap still couldn't calm himself down. He had thrown up, went over to the Shadows they captured and beaten one of them up, before he locked himself in the nearest room, destoryed everthing and curled up on the ground.

"Simon..." He sobbed and hugged himself tighter, the phone laid somewhere on the ground next to him, screen broken from how he had thrown it around.

"Simon... Im sorry..." The Sergeant whined, blood dripping down from his shoulder. He hadnt looked out for his wound, the pain felt good in a way. Punishing.

The guilt for knowing what Simon was going through, while he sat there save. It was unfair, Soap felt like he was betraying his partner.

"Soap, hey man. Its me, Gaz." A soft knock was heared on the door that Soap had locked. "Come on man, please. Open the door."

Johnny shook his head, pressing his hands further over his ears to shut out anyone and anything. Anything but the pain of his shoulder. He deserved that pain...

"He's not reacting?" That was Price, he walked right up to Gaz, who shook his head 'no'. A sighed left the Captains lips, before he waved Gaz to step aside.

With a powerful kick, the door flung open, the lock riped out of its bracket. With two big steps, the Captain was next to Soap, he grabbed his soldier by the shoudlers and pulled him up to his feet.

"Get yourself together, son! For fucks sake. I know this is bad, but we cant break down now!" Price yelled and gave Soap a firm slap. "Dont give up now, not when hes still in there! You got me?"

Johnny blinked multiple times, his cheek burning just like his eyes did from crying so much. "We have to get him out of there and he will need you more than ever! Do you understand? Do you?!"

Price watched the Sergeants lips open and close, his eyes flying around the room, before they land back on him and he nodded slowly.

"Good, very good. Gaz, bring him to the medic for his shoulder. And tell him the plan. I'll go start it." "Yes, Sir." Gaz held out a hand to Soap, placed it on his back and started walking him into the right direction.

"What... what plan?" Johnny stuttered, swallowing, his throat dry from crying. "Graves wants his men back. He gets them back."

"What?! No, we cant just-" Kyle shut the fellow soldier up with a hand. "No, listen. We'll send them back. But the one you knocked out, is getting medical attention. So first he needs a bit of time to be able to send back and while he gets treated..."

Gaz pointed to the place behind his ear and continued talking. "A small device, small enough to go unnoticed. Right behind this assholes ear. We send them back, we now where to go. And with a bit of luck... we'll know where Simon is."

Soaps eyes widen. Oh my god. Oh. My. God. "Thats... thats it. That could work!" "Woah, just be aware that it still could go south. That they might not go back to the same place Simon is or that the device might break." Gaz mumbled and let Soap walk into medical first.

.

Six? Seven? Maybe even longer? Simon didnt knew, his mind had gone blank. Graves had been with him for so long, he was suprised the leader of the Shadows had still been able to climax.

Ghost still laid on the ground, to exhausted to scream, move or sob. After hours of getting- ... getting raped, his mind was shattered.

He didnt hear Alejandro trying to help him with words, he didnt hear the footsteps approaching or the the voice mocking him.

Only when his hair was grabbed harshly and his head was pulled upwards, his surroundings came back to him at full force.

"You little bitch. Look at you now, all fucked out like the slut you are." The mans voice was laced with anger and hate, this wasnt Graves.

It was a man, wearing a black balanclava and the uniform of the Shadow Company. "The soldiers you killed out there. These were my friends. My brothers!"

The man pushed Simons head with a swing back against the floor, he opened his belt and pulled it off, before he let the leather snap down onto the captives back.

One, two, three, four... Over and over, until the shirt Simon still wore was cut open, just like his skin. Until the blood was running down his sides.

"Such a bitch. To numb to feel it? Or to dumb, huh?" The Shadow sighed, as if he was a dissapointed father, when Simon didnt even made a sound from the whipings.

"Maybe I'm just doing the wrong thing. My boss said it himself. You're a slut, lets deal with you like one." The Lieutenant watched with teary eyes how the masked soldier pulled himself out of his trousers and gave himself a few strokes until he was hard.

Not again. Please not again... He pleaded in his head, but didnt spoke it out. There was no way he would give those bastards the satisfaction of getting him to beg.

Alejandro had given up too, he leaned against the corner, the food untouched infront of the door, limbs stretched away from him. The anger was gone, left was grief. A tear rolled down his face when he heared the sounds from the other cell.

The Shadow didnt lose any time, he rolled Ghost around, onto his back, raised one of his legs and buried his cock into him.

A satisfied looked went over him, when he watched Simon grimace in disgust and pain. "Finnaly a damn reaction. Is that what it takes? Fucking you raw to make you feel pain?"

Simon gapsed and closed his eyes at the first thrust. It was different than with Graves, Graves had done it for pleasure, but this man... this man was doing it out of anger.

"Cause I can do that." The thrusts were driven by hate, Simon could feel it in how brutal they were. It was almost ironic that he could thank Graves for taking his time with him.

Because now he was already stretched, which made the thing here a tiny bit better. He didnt want to imagen how much it would have hurted when he hadnt been pre-stretched.

Still, it did hurt. That was the whole reason this Shadow was doing it and the more pained Simons tiny whines sounded, the more brutal he got.

The drag on his downer side was something he had felt in the last seven hours over and over again, the drag of a dick working in and out of him.

Simons hands had become numb, from both the restrains and him laying on top of them, he tried to arch his back, to take a bit of weight off of them, which he regreted in the same moment.

The arch made the Shadow thrust right against this point, this one damn point! Simon moaned when his prostate was hit, which made the Shadow freeze in place.

"Did you just fucking moan?!" He hissed disgusted and scoffed, before he pulled out of him. "I fucking knew it! You like this, dont you? You like getting raped! What a whore you are, what the fuck."

The masked man groaned, before he shook his head. His eyes landed on his captives face, the pure self hate was visible. "You know what? If you like it that much, then lets continue."

The Shadow lined up again and pushed back in, he knew that Simon didnt like that. It was obvious, but making him feel that way felt just right to the Shadow.

Letting the man who had killed his comrades suffer in self hate and self disgust. So the masked soldier pumped back in and out, he made sure to be brutal but also to hit that sweet spot a few times.

Simon bit his own tongue, tasting his salty tears and even his metalic blood. How could he moan out form that? Was it true? That he was just a whore, who liked to get raped?

No, no by far not. He hated physical contact, intimacy more. Johnny was the only one he felt comfortable enough to let near him and even enjoy it himself. It had took months for something to happen.

"God, what sick mind likes this? Cant believe people like you exist. Disgusting." The Shadow grunted, his thrusting became faster but lost power, he was close.

"I dont..." Simon whispered, but his voice went under in the mans groan as he came. The Shadow rid out his orgasm, before he pulled out and dressed himself again.

Shaking his head, he spat down onto Simon and hissed with a cold voice. "Disgusting thing." Before the man left, the door closed behind him with a loud 'thud'.

"I dont..." The Lieutenant whispered again and pressed his thighs together, rolling off onto his uninjuried side and curled up into himself.

"I dont like it..." He mumbled, shook his head and held his eyes pressed shut. He really didnt like it. Who even could like such a thing?

It was a normal reaction of his body, to get aroused from penetration. But that didnt make it any better. Simon had just gotten hard from being rape...

He felt betray by his own body.

Disgusted by himself.

How could he ever look someone in the eyes again? How could he ever allow Soap to touch someone as used as him? Never, he wouldnt do this to Soap.

Simon was to disgusted with his body, never would he want his precious Johnny to have to touch something so dirty...

Chapter Text

Soaps heart was hammering in his chest, while he watched the Shadows they had catched two days ago step into the vehicle.

While he internally couldn't wait for them to get send back and reveal where Simon was, he also didnt want to let them go at the same time.

He was angry, the dark chuckle of the Shadow that he had beaten up before rang in his ears. "You know, Im gonna miss this place. Here are no screams of pain, that are constantly heared in our halls. I think you know from who they come."

"You bastard!" The Sergeant hissed and almost swung at the Shadow again, but Price quickly grabbed his arm and held him back. "Calm down soldier, these bastards will get what they deserve."

The Shadow scoffed out another chuckle and stepped into the vehicle too. The door got closed, the Shadows would be driven half of the way out then left there, so they could find their own way back.

"I should have given him a last hit for the way." Johnny grumbled and spat on the ground, while the car was driving away. "He would have deserved it. But we dont have time for that. We'll get back to them once Simon is safe."

Price watched the car drive off with narrowed eyes, before he nodded into the other direction. "Lets go back to Gaz and Rudy, see if the tracker works."

Johnny nodded, he followed his Captain to the tent in which the other two were. Sitting at the table, watching the green dot moving on the landcard of the screen.

"It works?" "Yes, Sir. Perfectly." Gaz nodded, not taking his eyes off of the screen. "I'd say around two hours, maybe more. Then we know where to go."

"Good. I get a team ready, keep an eye on the tracker." Price said loudly, adding a little calmer. "And get ready."

.

Simon felt a warm hand carefully caress through his hair, his head was laying against someones chest. He could hear the steady hearbeat thumping in the others persons chest.

"Shh, its okay. Keep sleeping." A silent voice whispered, caressing a finger over the short blond curls that sticked to Simons forehead.

Gladly the Lieutenant wanted to do it, to shut his eyes tighter and sink into the warmth of the person holding him. But that was when his mind snapped back to full atention. A person. Holding him. A person!

Simon shuddered and opend his eyes, gasping slightly. "Johnny?" His voice was weak, he had screamed and cried long enough in the last days, that it had become hoarse.

"Shh, calm down, sweetheart. I'm just here to clean you up. Its okay." It was Graves. He was sitting on the ground, having Simon lean up against his chest.

A bucket with water stood next to the two, a cloth in it. Simon flinched when he saw it, thinking back to when he got water boarded.

Graves kept an arm around Simons chest, keeping him from struggling away, even if that was almost impossible at his exhausted and weakened state.

"Its okay, Simon. You gotta understand. My men are on their way back home. Your team cooperated so I thought I might do you something good. No harm, just getting you nice and clean." The leader of the Shadows hummed softly, it was to weird, hearing the man who tortured you sounding so... affectioned.

A few more seconds the Lieutenant managed to struggle, then all the energy was gone. Used up in such a short amount of time, he was to weakened. His head sunk back against Graves chest.

Who smiled at that and run his hand again through Simons hair. "Attaboy, just relax." He pulled the cloth out of the water and wrung it out, before he run it carefully over the bloody skin, making sure to not hurt him more.

This sudden comfort wasnt anything Simon had expected, but his mind begged for comfort for so long now. It disgusted him more and more. First his body, now his mind. It was betraying him.

And Graves knew that. Starve and beat an animal, if you offer it food again it will come back despite the beatings. Humans weren't different, they needed affection. And if it was only from their abuser.

"Shh, I know it hurts, I know. It will get better. We'll get you cleaned up and taken care off. Let me do everything, just relax, sweetheart." False affection, false words and Simons mind would still slowly stick to that lie of comfort.

It was perfect. Graves couldnt stop the grin on his face as he run a hand through the blonds hair while he cleaned all the dirt and blood away, having him rest against himself.

A few minutes passed, Simon seemed to grew calmer, maybe he was giving in, maybe he was to exhausted. Both was good enough for the leader of the Shadows.

"You know, someone told me how much you liked being taken care off. This someone told me you even... got aroused." Graves hummed, run the cloth along Simons thighs, the boxershorts had been long gone.

"But I figured that your hands are still cuffed, you must have it pretty hard in life now. And your men co-operated." Simon tensed when the cloth started to go to his genital, his breath picked up. "No..."

Ignoring the whisper, Graves hand made contact, wrapping out the still soft cock and slowly caressing over it. "Let me reward you, for being such a nice little toy to me." He hummed, his hand worked up and down.

Simon whined, tried to press away from the hand but only pressed against Graves chest more. No, no this couldnt be. How was he-? Why was he- getting hard? No, no, what was wrong with him? No!

"Shh shh shh, deep breaths Simon. I know it feels good, but I haven't really started yet, have I?" Graves rubbed his thumb over the tip, over the shaft, his hand still wet from the cloth before, which made his movements a lot smother.

"Keep your eyes right there, baby." He whispered and gently grabbed Simons chin with his free hand, pushing his face to look down at himself.

Simon wanted to puke, he wanted to scream and kill everyone around him as he watched how this strangers hand made him feel. Not even a stranger, an enemy, a traitor, a torturer, his... his rapist.

But instead, he gasped air in, this felt so good and so bad at the same time. His body betrayed him, the fact that Graves was taking full advantage of that was cruel.

His hands clenched and unclenched behind his back, his thighs trembled, he couldnt really breath, while this unwanted pleasure worked through his body.

"Oh youre doing good, sweety. So good, look at yourself, so beatiful." Graves hummed softly, his mouth next to Simons ear, he worked his hand faster and faster.

A bit of pre-cum ran down the tip, making the Shadows smile grow. "Someone really likes it, huh? Its okay, shh. Let yourself feel it. The pleasure."

Simon took another sharp inhale, his teary eyes couldnt look away from how he was touched. He tried to stop his moans, but a few of them still slipped past is lips.

The well know feeling of the heat in his abdome washed over him, but.. that couldnt be. He couldnt feel that good, right? Not from sexual assault. Because thats what it was.

Unconsensual.

He didnt want that, he didnt like that. So why-? Why was he so close to comming?

Graves could almost watch how something inside of Simon broke. How his tears rolled over his cheeks and he let his head fall back, moaning when he reached his peak.

The leader of the Shadows grinned pleased, not stoping his movements, even while his hand was getting covered in Simons cum.

"You did so good. Really, youre my good boy~" He hummed and brought his hand to his mouth, groaning pleased as he tasted Simons release.

"Fuck, you are so delicious, baby." He breathed out and pressed his lips onto Simons, whos eyes widen, but there was no fight back.

He simply let Graves do what he wanted, who was he to even argue about it? If he was able to orgasm, then maybe the man had been right.

Maybe Simon liked it, maybe he just didnt want to admit it. In the end, he really was just a toy...

Graves cheered on the inside, seeing that defeated look, that unwillingness to even fight anymore, these empty eyes, as if Simon had just given up completly.

It was hot.

Fucking hot.

He had won, brought the big Ghost to his knees and made him into his play thing. Graves felt his own arousal press against his pants.

He quickly grabbed the cloth and cleaned the new mess, before he wrapped his arms around him and stood up. "Lets get you to a nice bed, warm food. Sounds good, am I right sweetheart?"

Alejandro watched -silent tears run down his cheeks- how Simon was carried out of his cell and even past his door. "Wait... Simon..." He mumbled and reached for him. But between his hand and his friend was a solid metal door and a lot of room.

Graves shot him a cheecky grin that said as much as "I won.", before he carried Simon out of the cell block.

Chapter Text

"There. They stopped!" Rudy exclaimed and stood up from his chair, leaning further forward to make sure it was right. Gaz and Soap were right next to him, staring at the screen.

"Are you sure, boys? Absolutely sure?" Price asked, taking a drag from his cigar and blowing the smoke out. Gaz nodded, already turning away from the screen while Soap wrote the coordinates down and held them out for the Captain.

"Positive, Sir." Price took the note and nodded, pressing his cigar out and putting it away. "Then lets go and save our men!"

Everyone moved, the cars were already prepeared and everyone was ready to go and beat some Shadows up. Betrayl wasnt something that was taken easy here.

Especially not if it end with their own men hurt and captured. "Inside with you, move, move!" Price commanded and waved into the car.

The moment the last one was inside, they started driving. "It will be a five hour ride, Sir." The driver said, which made the Captain scoff.

"Make it four, we have left them alone long enough." Price grumbled to the driver and looked back to his team. Soap sat there, completly tense, he wanted to finnaly have him back. His love.

"Simon will be okay." The Captain tried to comfort his Sergeant, even if he knew that his words were bullshit. They would be lucky enough if Simon was still able to function... if he even was still alive.

Johnny knew that too, he made a small pained sound -not from his shoulder, he had stopped feeling that pain from the adrenaline, it was the mental pain- and grabbed onto his chest.

A frown went over his face, he realized his dog tags were gone. Did he lose them in the fight a few days ago? Or did he left them at the base?

"Just hold on a bit longer. Simon please..."

.

Simon sat on the bed, overwhelmend with the sudden change of situation. He had gotten food, warm food. The bed was soft, the air warm. He was cleaned and dried, even had gotten a new pair of boxershorts and a shirt.

Even when his shirt was currently laying on the ground next to the bed. Graves was looking over his wounds, making sure they were healing, he even wrapped new bandages around them.

"Woah, just breath. Deep and steady, its fine." Graves mumbled, he was sitting behind Simon, a hand on his shoulder as a form of control.

"Oh, your wrists are raw. Hm, but I cant risk taking these off... what should I do?" The leader of the Shadows asked himself and tucked at the restrains around his captives wrists.

Simon tensed, it hurted and he could hear the grin in Graves voice. "Oh did I hurt you, baby? Im sorry. Let me make it better."

He pulled a knife out from his holster, in opposite to Simon, Graves was in full gear, except for a helmet. A strong flinch went through the blond, when he saw the blade shining in the light. The fear in his eyes was almost to good, it made Graves cock twitch in his pants.

"I said, Im not going to hurt you. Dont worry, sweetheart. You are safe with me~" He whispered and cut the rope, his knife lingered a few more seconds on Simons hands, before he pulled it away.

The blood instantly shot back into the Lieutenants hands, he groaned -which sounded more like a whining puppy- and pulled his arms infront if him, rubbing over the raw flesh.

Graves watched with a smile, his hand automatically went to his crotch, squeezing himself trough the fabric. He wouldve never believed it. At first it was to break Ghost, now he felt so much arousal seeing Simon afraid and hurt.

His other hand slowly placed itself onto Simons shoulder, caressed over the skin, while he rubbed himself. Simon saw the motion from the side of his eyes, his breath hitched. Not again. No, no, not again.

The Lieutenant turned around, as much as his injuries let him, he faced Graves, felt terror creep up on him as he saw his face and crawled backwards.

Graves smiled, a soft but amused chuckle left his throat. "No, thats not how a good toy behaves. Or do I have to remind you?"

He didnt even let him answere, he grabbed Simons arms and pushed him back, shoving him against the bed frame, even when he fought back the strenght difference was obvious.

Simon was weakened, exhausted, terrified. Usually he wouldve overpowered most people, but now? He was only human, with a human mind and a human body. And the body and mind could only take that much.

"God, yes. Fight back." Graves moaned, feeling more and more aroused. He moved his knee between Simons legs, pressing it against his crotch, while he sat down and straddled his thigh.

The blond gasped, his breath picked up, he couldnt move away, he was at Graves mercy. At least the weight of the Shadow wasnt on his injuired thigh.

"Stop..." He whimpered in panick, tried to pull his hands free, to do something -anyhting- to get out of this situation. But nothing helped, he was to weak, a handcuff wrapped around his left wrist and the bed frame.

Then his right wrist was cuffed to the frame too, he pulled on them but the handcuffs were to strong. "Stop? We both know you want it. Look at yourself sweetheart, getting all horny and hard."

Graves rubbed his knee a bit harder over Simons crotch, grinding his own boner over his thigh, before he grinned and moved backwards.

Simon watched how his torturer opened his belt, then his zipper and pulled out his hard cock, tears rolled down his face while Graves moved closer again, wrapping his hands around Simons ankles and pushing his legs over his own shoulders.

"Shh, dont cry. Its okay, Im going to be gentle with you. I know you like it, baby." Graves hummed, his boner rubbed over the blonds ass, who was still wearing a boxershorts.

Adjusting Simons legs on his shoulders, he pulled out his knife again and slowly dragged the blade along his waistline. Agonizing slowly, the tip of the blade run over the pale skin, not cutting into it, but that wasnt necessary to frighten Simon.

The Lieutenant tensed completly, his wide eyes fixiated on the knife that slowly went under the waist band of his boxershorts and sliced them open. He didnt dare to breath or move, the iron was way to close to his genitals and Graves knew damn well how to make it look and feel as bad as possible.

The leader of the Shadows cut off the boxershorts, before he ripped the clothing away and threw it to the ground next to the bad. Simon laid fully exposed under him, cuffed to the frame, legs over his own shoulders, while his own dick pressed against his ass.

"Do you want me? Baby? Say it, do you want me to fuck you?" Graves breathed out hot, his breath hit Simons ear who cringed and whined, but didnt look away from the knife.

"No..." Graves grinned as he heared the panick in his captives voice, he slowly dragged the knife over his hip, drawing blood at this point, while he pressed a kiss to Simons jaw, looking right into his eyes.

"Oh are you sure? You rather have the knife in you? Okay~" To make his threat more real, the Shadow let the blade go down to his ass, that was when Simon understood what Graves meant with inside.

"No, no! Please..." The blond begged, he had lost all his believes, not caring anymore that he swore to not pleaded. He was to terrfied of the next minutes.

"No? Hmm, but thats not how it works? Look Simon, one thing will fill you now, either that knife or my cock. So decide, from what would you rather get fucked?" Graves hummed, placing a few more kisses over the jaw and cheek.

Simon sobbed, this wasnt any war situation anymore, he wasnt a soldier anymore. This was pure hell and the only option he had was bad or worse. Because he was just a toy... he should come to terms with it.

"Y-you..." He whispered and sniffled, his voice quiet, begging and defeated. That sounded like music to Graves ears. "I didnt hear you. Say it. Again. Louder."

"You-" Simon cried, whining when the blade came closer again. "Please, you, you should fuck me. You. You. You." He went quiet when the knife was pulled away and hit into the table next to the bed.

Graves run a comforting hand over Simons face, he wiped the tears away lovingly and shushed him. "Shh, its okay. No need to get so scared. If thats what you really want... then I'll fuck you."

No, no it was not what he wanted. Even if he had just literally begged for it, but no. No!

Simons mind was overwhelmend, the sudden switches between Graves threating and comforting personality, the way he made him believe that this is what he wanted. It was to much.

With a powerful thrust, Graves buried himself into the blond, moaning loudly at the feeling and the small pained yelp from the man under him.

Moving his hips, he grabbed onto Simons waist with one hand and placed the other on his face. Kissing him all over the neck, the shoulder, the jaw and face.

Simon cried and whined, it still hurted, deeply. The injuries from the last days -down there- weren't healed yet and it made it so much more painful.

"I know, baby. I know it hurts. Im so sorry. But youre just to hot. I cant control myself, youre just the perfect hole for me. Ah~ So good, so perfect." Graves whispered, his words cut off by his own moans in between.

He looked into those big, teary eyes filled by terror and moved in harder. This man in pain and fear was enough to make him cum on an instant.

Graves pressed his lips onto Simons, while he orgasmed, muffling his groans in the blonds mouth, his hand squeezed his waist, leaving dark prints in the skin.

"Youre so hot. My good little boy. Mine, just mine now." He breathed, pushing his tongue into Simons mouth and pulled his hips back.

For a moment Simon thought this was over, but no. He yelped into the kiss when he felt the cock thrust back inside. This wouldnt only stay at one round...

Chapter Text

The moment they kicked the doors open, everyone knew what was going on here. No mercy, the Shadows had betrayed them, tried to kill them and captured and tortured their own men.

Bullets flew, soldiers yelled and blood was shed. Soap run past them, past everyone. Rudy right next to him, they avoided fighting, knowing Price had their backs.

"Left." Rudy whispered, nodding to the left hallway and both run into it. Soap knifed the guard, slitting his throat with no hesitation. Rudy shot the next one, a headshot.

Both didnt stop running, they had one goal and one goal only. Find their men. With fast but silent movements they run through the Shadows base, soon reaching the cells.

The soliers guarding it were taken down fast and efficient, with heavy breaths both man walked into the hallway to the cells. Carefully looking through the windows in the doors to look who was inside.

Soap froze, gasped a breath in, before he hurried to rip this door open. "Rudy come here, it's Alejandro." Rudys eyes widen, in a short second he was next to the Sergeant and helped him with the door.

Alejandro was sitting inside, eyebags under his sad looking eyes, slumped shoulders, he obviously hadnt eaten in a while, the untouched food stood on the ground.

"Ale! Its us, its gonna be okay. We are getting you out of here!" Rudy instantly was down on one knee and looked over the Colonels body, trying to see any injuries.

"Rudy... Soap..." Alejandro mumbled, his eyes falling onto Soap and he looked at him full of remorse. "Simon is... Im sorry... I couldnt-" His voice broke, Soap swallowed and helped Rudy pull the Colonel up to his feet.

"Where-" He feared asking that question but he had too. "Where is he? Is he... dead?" Alejandro hesitated, but shook his head. "I dont know, but I doubt it. Graves took him somewhere... He seemed to- to like Simon."

Soap understood, bile raised in his throat, while he groaned out silent and pained. "That bastard..."

.

Graves was breathing heavy, sweating in his gear, but he couldnt feel better. Simon felt just so... so perfect. He loved it, loved seeing the fear and pain in his eyes. Loved seeing the blood on his own cock. Loved hearing those desperate whimpers.

Never would he had dreamed off getting such a kick out of that. How could it feel so good? Completly destroying a former friend, a former comrade. Making him scream, cry and beg. And even feel unwanted pleasure.

Graves knew it was wrong, that this was rape. But honestly, he couldnt care less. In his life he had seen and done enough shit, betrayed, beaten, tortured and killed. So at this point, why would he stop at rape? Why would he stop if it felt so right?

Simon stared to the ceiling, his eyes were half lidded and blank, tears stained his face, but there werent any new coming out, he had stopped crying, stopped feeling. Even while his body was still getting used and abused.

The Shadows face came back into his field of view, looking down at him with a smile and mumbling a few words, before he sighed and slapped him.

"Come on, its no fun if you are like this." Graves looked for any reaction, when there wasnt one, he sighed again and pulled out of him. "You need some motivation? To come back here, to concentrate on something?"

He shifted up, pushed Simons legs away from his shoulders and sat up higher. "Ill help you, just try to breath." His voice was calm and loving, as if he really was doing the blond man a favor by grabbing his chin and slowly shoving his cock into his mouth.

Simon gagged, gasping for air, as his dissoaciation was broken, but only inhaling the dick. Tears, blood, cum, what couldnt he taste?

His eyes were panicked, there was no air, he would suffocated. "Shh, you have to breath through your nose, silly. Already forgotten it? Maybe I should train you more often, a toy should know how to suck dick correctly." Despite Graves rather dark and mocking voice, he run a hand over Simon cheek.

Carefully caressing over the stained skin, while he moved his hips slowly but surley further forward. "Just like that, youre doing so well, baby." He groaned, forcing eye contact, the moment Simon started to breath right again.

"Taking me so good, you're fucking made for this." The leader of the Shadows moaned louder, burying his dick completly down his captives throat and slowly staring to move.

Those words, it felt like complet humiliation and mockery, like a hit to the gut. Simon wished nothing more than to dissapear now, to lay down and sleep forever. He was getting praised for having someone force themselves onto him.

How fucked up was that?!

There was so much eviln behind those dark eyes of Graves, the pleasure evident. And love? No, that couldn't be right, that was so wrong. Did he actually love this?!

"Your face, it just looks perfect like that." Graves said warmly, caressed his thumb over Simons cheek, while he moved his hips. A few days ago he had tried to break his captives spirit by insulting his face.

Now he was actually attracted to it, the scars and tears, the horror. The blond locks that just fell perfectly over his forehead and those lips. "So beautiful, your lips wrapped around my cock like that."

He fucked a bit faster into the mouth, which lead to Simon having to gag again, he squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering desperatly as a hand grabbed into his hair.

Fingers tugging on it, Simon could taste the pre-cum. It was almost scary how he could already feel when Graves was close. Its been days, this man had used him so often that he grew familiar with his body.

The thought made him gag again. Graves moaned out loud, fingers tightening into the blond curls while he shot his load down his throat.

Panting heavily, he pulled his cock out, smearing the rest of the cum from his tip onto Simons lips and sat down again. He still caressed his thumb over the tear stained skin, watching pleased how his captives breath came in fast, uneven and ragged.

"Shh, baby, breathing. Everthing is fine. Dont cry, dont cry." He shushed him, slowly wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pulling him in.

Simon gasped, overwhelmend, it had happened again. He had been used again. And now his abuser gifted him a warm hug and comforting words. And he fell right into this trap.

But who could blame him?

Graves smiled mischievously, hugging him close and run his hands over his back and trough his hair. "Its okay, sweetheart. Im here, just breath, deep breaths. Everything is okay. I know it hurts, but it will get better. I promise."

Simon sobbed, disgusted with the taste, with the pain in his lower region, with the wet feeling on his thighs -from both blood and cum- and most of all, with himself.

He needed it, this hug, this soft words. After all this suffering through the last days, he needed it. Even if he knew that this was false comfort, used to break him further. But the thing is, he stopped caring. He needed comfort now, so he took what he got.

"Thats much better, you're such a good boy. You need a reward, let me open these cuffs." Graves whispered softly, leaning more in and opening the handcuffs.

His grin widened when Simon didnt fight back, he craddled him in his arms, giving him the comfort he craved, mumbled soft words and comforted him until he fell asleep.

Graves placed him on his stomach on the bed and stood up, walked into the bathroom to wash his face and cool a bit down, grinning at himself in the mirror.

The way Simon was cuddling the bed when he came back after around ten minutes, laying there completely naked, made him rock hard again in an instant. "Fuck, what are you doing to me..."

He whispered and swallowed, slowly crawling back onto the bed, making sure Simon didnt wake up. He leaned down and run his hands over the sleeping body infront of him, touching himself while he did so.

Balancing his weight out on the matres, he slowly moved one of Simons legs to the side, arching it slightly, so he had an easier access. He wrapped his hand around his cock, spread Simons ass with the other and pressed his tip against the entrance.

A deep moan left left his lips, while the sleeping man cried out in pain and slowly stirred awake again. Graves leaned completly over him, holding him down with his weight while he slowly pressed inside.

Simons eyes were wide, getting woken up like that, feeling a cock inside of him even if he had just been asleep a few seconds ago felt so bad.

He gasped, struggled shortly, but a hand got clasped over his mouth, shutting him up. Then, a few fingers went into his mouth, Graves moaned over him, his chest pressing down against his back, while he rocked his hips.

Simon couldnt do anything else but clench his fingers into the blanket on which he laid and close his eyes, trying to breath through the situation and whimper against the fingers.

Graves groaned and moaned against his neck, before he bit into the skin. Placing several kisses, nibbles and even bites there, while pleased sounds left his throat.

"I wanna mark you. All mine~" The Shadow groaned and moved to the other side, pulling his free hand up to Simons shoulder and dragging his nails through the skin. "Youre mine. God, my toy~ Only mine~"

Simon felt the sudden need in his abuser, not the need for pleasure, not the primal need of taking, but the need of owning. Of owning him.

He shook his head, whined against the fingers, while the hand left his back and grabbed the knife from the desk. While Graves still crushed his hips against him, the hands left his face completely.

"My beautiful little boy, I'll make sure you stay mine forever." Graves growled loving and crazy at the same time, before he dragged the tip of the knive over Simons back.

Pulling both pained screams and blood from him, the blood even dripped onto himself, onto his dick and his hands. He leaned down and licked over the skin, before he cut the next word into him.

Chapter Text

"Ah fuck. Youre so beautiful~" Graves moaned, pressing his chest and stomach against the blonds bloody back. His hands held onto the mans hips, grabbing into it with all his strenght.

The skin was surley bruising, but for Simon it didnt matter. His back was hurting enough and there was another thing that was way worse in this situation than the pain. The pleasure.

Graves held his ass up, made him arch his back upwards, which lead to his own dick rubbing over the matres under him. He whimpered and sobbed, tried to supress the moans that came with this damn stimulation.

The Shadows hard thrusts kept hitting his sweet spot and the way theses movements made his cock rub over the matres, it felt so good and so gross at the same time.

"Your body knows its mine. Not Soaps, not yours, no. Mine. My own little toy." Graves groaned, he run a hand over his forehead to wipe the sweat away and pressed himself closer against his captive.

He wrapped a hand over the blonds abdome, his hips meeting his ass a bit more powerful, which made Simon cry out and whine. A devistated sob left Simons throat as he climaxed, he had tried to stop it. To ignore the way his body had felt.

Graves opened his mouth and moaned out, feeling the man under him coming. "God, so perfect. Didnt even had to touch you for you to cum. Such a good boy~" He moved his hips more aimed, trying to make his toys orgasm last as long as possible.

Simon was dripping onto his own stomach and the blanked under him. His eyes rolled back, the climax hit him completely, his body trembled, mind clouded.

He moaned loudly when a hand wrapped around his cock and stroked him, making it only feel so much better and worser at the same time.

Graves rubbed him until there wasnt anything coming out anymore and the blonds body went limp under him, he licked over his cum covered hand, grabbed Simons chin with it and pressed their lips together.

The taste of tears and himself made him whine, but it also made one thing totaly clear for his mind. He had just orgasmed from getting raped.

Not from any touch, not that he was forced to climax, no.

Simon felt completly empty, his abuser was raping him and he liked it. If he wouldnt like it, then he wouldnt have come. Graves was right... he was just a toy. He wanted that.

Graves watched the fight die out completely, the blond went fully limp under him, not even trying to muffle any moans or whimpers anymore.

"Such a good boy. Youre mine. Forever. Remember that, no one will ever want you. Just me. Youre mine." He whispered softly but with enough command against the lips, that the words reached Simons mind even while he was on the brink of dissoaciation.

The phone in his pocket vibrated and without stoping the leader of the Shadows took a look. "Oh wow, seems like our enemies are on the way to us. But dont worry. We'll still have enough time to finish that." He hummed and pressed another kiss onto the blond jaw, thrusting his hips a bit faster.

.

"Price, we will bring Alejandro out. Negative on Simon, hes with Graves." Soap hissed into the radio on his chest, walking infront of Rudy who was supporting the Colonel.

"Copy, we'll find him." Price answered, the situation was slowly but surley under their control, his team had managed to open the cells to Alejandros men, who were now fighting alongside them.

While the three man slowly came back out of the cell block, the Captain grabbed the first Shadow he saw and landed a few strong hits.

"Where is Graves?" He asked coldly, his gaze couldve killed, there was absolutely no mery behind those eyes. "Im not telling yo-" The Shadow couldnt even finish his sentence, he was killed in the same second.

Price was tired of that game, he wouldnt waste more time in which his soldier was suffering, if those Shadows wouldnt give him a clear answere, he didnt need them.

Slowly, this seemed to became clear to the few Shadows that were still alive. Nothing helped their situation, no weapons, no pleading. Either they talked or died.

It didnt took long after that realization. Price had gotten what he wanted. Soap just walked up to him, as he shot Alejandro and Rudy a worried look.

"Get him to a medic, Rudy. Soap, Gaz, with me. We are getting Simon back." Both Sergeants instantly reacted, jogging behind Price who finnaly knew where Graves held Simon.

.

Graves stood next to the bed, cuffing the blonds hands back to the frame, before he pressed a last kiss onto his lips, making sure to show full dominace and control. "Looks like the 141 is here. I wonder how they will react if they see that you are mine now."

Simon laid on the bed, the sheets stained with his blood and both mens cum. The tears on his face had dried, there werent coming any new once. He was empty.

Graves sighed liked a father watching his exhausted son drifting off into sleep after a good day. He took the blanket and threw it over the blonds naked body.

"You know, even if they force us apart now. You will always be mine. There will never be a time in which you arent my toy. Do you unerstand that, baby? Your body certainly does. You are mine, from now on and for ever." He run a hand through the blond curls.

"I will come back. I will get back to you. Whatever anyones says to you. You. Are. Mine. And I will get you back." Th Shadow hummed, while he heared the footsteps approaching in the hallway.

He grinned, grabbed a grenade and pulled the pin, but still held it thight. The moment the three men bursted into the room, Graves turned around. The grenade in his hands visible.

"Shot me and this goes off. Step closer and this goes off. One funny move and... boom." Just like Soap, Gaz and Price froze in place. "You bastard, what did you do to Simon?!"

"Nothing he didnt want me to do." Graves answered grinning, walking a few steps backwards, making sure to keep the grenade visible and close to the bed the whole time.

"You fucking-" Soap sweared and cut himself off, letting out a few scottish curses under his breath. The sight was terrifying, of Simon in the bed, the horros he had endured evident on his whole body.

Gaz didnt even want to look, he had always been curious about the Lieutenants face, but never wanted to see it in such a situation.

"Your men are down, your base is ours now. You have nowhere to go to. Graves, give up. There is no other way for you." Price said in a calm voice, but the anger and hate was evident in it.

How much every 141 soldier wanted to shot that piece of shit that was standing there with a bright grin was evident. But if they wanted to get out of here alive, they had to be careful with the grenade.

"I wouldnt be so sure about that, Captain. See, I have my ways, you have yours. Im even generous enough to let Simon here, alive and uninjuried... Oh wait, cut the uninjuried." The leader of the Shadows was obviously provoking them. With the grenade, he had a power position and he knew that.

"Then what do you want?" Gaz hissed, his eyes flicker to his Captain, then the bed, then back to Graves, who let out a dark chuckle.

"Much more than you could ever dream off, but lets start easy. You will let my men go. Everyone who is alive, injuried and even dead. When they are safe, you will let me go. Give me a car and Im out of your alls way." Price shook his head at that.

"We cant-" He started, but Graves instantly interrupted him. "You can and you will. Or everyone one of you, including Simon will be blown up."

Soap tensed, he looked to his partner, felt his eyes burn with tears at the stated Simon was in, before he watched Price with pleading eyes.

The silence was heavy on everyone.

Until Price nodded. "Fine, youll get away. But only for now. We will hunt you and your Shadows down. Every. Single. One. There wont be any mercy."

Graves laughed, he didnt seem intimidated at all. "Didnt expect nothing less of you."

For everything to work out, it took around an hour. An hour full of hated stares and curses between the 141 men and Graves. An hour full of tension. An hour full of gasps whenever Simon moved a tiny bit.

But after that hours, the Shadows were gone. Price made sure to get the medic heli here, while Soap covered Simon in clothes.

Not completely, the cuts on his back and the wounds needed to be taken care off ASAP, but at least a boxershorts. And the balanclava. Soap knew how important that was for him.

Simon didnt woke up, not while he was getting dressed, not while Soap excused himslelf to throw up, not while the heli landed, not while he was transported and not while he was brought into the hospital.

Johnny was at his side for the whole time, except for the surgery on his wounds. He was tired himself, but his worry wouldnt let him sleep.

Now he was sitting at Simons bed in the hospital, a day after his rescue, watching him slowly open his eyes. "Simon?" He asked carefully, in a soft voice.

The blond blinked, the light was to bright, slowly, the voice came through to him and he flinched, gasping for air. "Simon, its okay, its okay. Its me, Johnny. You are safe. Its only us two, you are safe."

This voice...

Opening his eyes again, he dared to look at the person talking. It really was Soap. His partner, his Johnny-

"I was so worried, Simon. Im so sorry." Johnny whispered, he sniffled and wanted to grab his lovers hand, but Simon flinched away. "Dont. Please..."

More tears shot in his eyes as he realized again how much damage had been done to the blond.

Soap nodded and pulled his hand back. "Okay, I understand. Im not going to touch you. Just know that you are safe, okay? He cant hurt you anymore."

Simon hesitated, was he really safe? Graves said he would come back. Please no!

"Its okay, Simon. Really. I will keep you safe. Ill watch over you, protect you. Just get some more rest. I will be at your side when you wake up again." Johnny tried to calm him, the terror in his partners eyes was more than evident.

He didnt know what exactly Graves had done to him, but it was clear that it had been bad.

Simon looked at him with teary eyes, he leaned back into the soft pillow and reached for his chest, for the dog tags. Not his own, but Johnnys. His eyes closed and he driffted back into sleep.

Soap watched that with a soft smile. So that was where his tags went. "I love you Simon."

Chapter Text

Simon sat on the couch, the TV was on, but Johnny doubted that he was watching it.

It was the first day back home, not the barracks, but Simons apartment. Soap was with him for the whole time, he would sleep on the couch.

It wasn't the first time he was sleeping over at his apartment, just that he'd always shared a bed with Simon before.

Now, that wasn't possible. Simon was traumatized, completely and utterly broken.

Getting touched was the last thing he needed now, what Graves had done was more than bad, it was inhuman.

Johnny sighed silently, the water was finnaly hot enough. He was making Simons favorite tea, just like in past.

Maybe this could cheer him up -which was unlikely after what had happened- or just make him feel a tiny bit better.

Carefully, Johnny brought the mug up to the living room. He made sure to walk into Simons field of view long before he was to close.

Simon instantly snapped put of his stare and tensed, his eyes filled with fear until he realized it was just Soap.

"Hey... I made you tea." The Scots voice was soft and calm, like how you would talk to a scared kid or a hurt animal.

His heart ached as he saw the pillow Simon was sitting on, the doctor had told him that he had been hurt badly down there... that sitting and walking would be painful for the next time.

That's why the blond was sitting on a pillow, to make it somewhat better. Which it didn't.

Simon looked at Johnny with big eyes, watching how he placed the cup informt of him. He hated it, the small flicker of pity in his partners eyes when he looked at the pillow.

Johnny knew. And Simon knew that he knew. About what Graves had done. About the fact that he was just a whore-

"Simon? It's fine, it's just tea. I'm right here and you're safe. Nobody can hurt you here." Soap whispered Carefully, he had seen the panic wash back over him.

How the blonds shoulders had tensed more and the fingers clenched into his shorts.

Simon was wearing black pajama pants, a black tshirt and a mask. Not a balanclava, but a normal face mask also in black.

Usually he felt safe enough to put it off in his own home, especially infront of Johnny who had never judged him once for his scars and issues with his own face.

But now... Graves had done to much, he didn't feel safe without the small cover over his nose and mouth.

"The tea is still a bit hot, so be careful." The silence wad something Johnny tried to avoid.

That's why the TV was always running in the background, to keep the silence away. To make sure Simon had always something to concentrate on.

And won't fall into his own memories and nightmares. Nobody really knew what exactly had happened, Alejandro had told them all he knew.

About the water boarding, wiping, starvation. The russian roulette that had been played with his limbs. How Graves had faked Soaps death and made Simon not only believe he was dead, but also force feeded him fake Soaps flesh...

And also, the sexual assault. Alejandro didn't want to say it at first, out of respect. But he knew it was important for Simons recovery.

Still he had felt like the biggest ass when he told them to check Simon for possible STDs, since it was likely he might have them.

Soap had almost thrown up after he had heated those words, the Sergeant had turned around, gagged and smashed his hand against the wall.

Alejandro had apologized, said that he was sorry for not being able to save him from that hell. But Johnny never blamed him.

Graves was the asshole. The demon who did that. Not Alejandro, not Simon. Graves was at fault.

Simon hesitated when he reached for the tea, his finger touched it and he pulled back instantly, as if he had been hurt.

Johnny watched him carefully, with a soft smile he had crouched down a bit away from him. Trying to make himself small enough so he wasn't a threat to the broken soldier.

"Is it still to hot?" He asked carefully, but Simon shook his head and reached for the mug again, finnaly daring to touch it.

"No..." Even if the blond had only spoken one word, so silent and weak as if it had never been said, even then Soaps heart fluttered.

He missed his voice, this deep raspy voice that could both yell the coldest commands and whispere the cutest things.

"What are you watching currently?" Johnny tried to keep the -more or less- conversation up, to hear that voice more.

But Simon only shrugged, his eyes went to the screen and instantly back to Soap, as if he feared that he would be gone. Or that the person crouching there would have been someone else.

Someone specific. Graves.

A small shudder run up his back, which made him hiss. The wounds were still fresh, both on his body and in his mind.

Soaps eyes instantly widen, he alerted to the small silent hiss. "Have you taken your pain meds yet?"

"No..." Simon answered, with a lot more weakness in his voice. Usually Johnny would've sighed, shaken his head and made a dumb joke over a though soldier act or about alzheimer.

But not this time. He couldnt do that to him, Simon needed someone to understand, to treat him with caution and love.

"Alright, I'll get them for you. I'll be right back. One minute." Slowly he stood up, his heart bleeded at the way the blond tensed further.

'Don't leave him alone for to long, make sure he knows where you are at all times. Last thing he needs is to thing that you left him and he's alone.' The doctors words rang in his mind.

Soap left the living room and walked into the bedroom to get the medication from the night stand. A heavy sighed left his lips.

He could see Simon from here, how he stared off into nothing, zoomed out like he needed to protect himself from reality.

He didn't understood it. Bot the dissociation, but the fact that this world seemed to simply hate this man.

When Ghost had first meet him, it was like meeting a God himself, so strong in a fight that he was no one he had ever seen.

But then, they came closer, he got to know Simon -the real Simon- behind the mask. He was devistated, with such a past, he wasn't suprised Simon had become a hardened soldier.

He had to, it wasn't a choice. It was survival. A deep darkness lived in him, what his childhood had done to him, then his drug addicted brother, then Roba and his turned teammates.

Soap sighed again and grabbed the meds before he returned back to him, using the same way of approach.

Only that Simon didnt snap out of his dissociation at this time. He was gone, far gone, his eyes completly empty.

"Simon?" He carfully asked, placing the meds down on the table next to the mug. "Hey, Simon? Can you come back to me?"

*How the hands run over his body, the dark but soft whisper repeating the words. "Mine. You're mine." The drag and pain he felt whenever Graves trusted into him. The blood that was definitely dripping. How did it ever came to that? He must have like it, he must! Otherwise he wouldn't have climax-*

"Simon? It's okay, we are in your apartment. Do you remember? There is a nice tea and some painkillers infront of you. Do you maybe want to come back to me?"

Johnny didn't gave up, he whispered softy and warm, trying to get him back to reality.

Because whatever was currently in his head, it had to be dark. At least the teary eyes told him that much.

Simon blinked multiple times, sniffling silently and looking down, to his hands, his legs, the couch, the table and mug, the person. The person! Soap... thank God!

"Johnny..." Tue blonds voice broke, he swallowed and closed his eyes, but flinched away at the hand his partner was extending.

"Oh right, I'm sorry. I won't touch you." The scot reassured and pulled his hand back away.

His first instinct was to comfort him, to hug him and caress through his hair. But in his current state, he would have only made it worse.

Instead he pushed the meds closer and gave him a warm smile. "Take them, this will help. At least for your body."

Simon swallowed again, he tried to get the feeling away that arched him to breakdown and never stand back up.

Hesitantly, he took a pill and swallowed it down with the tea. Wrapping both hands around the mug.

"I know, the tea isn't as good as yours. But hey, I tried." Soap joked, trying to lighten the mood, before he nodded back to the TV.

"Do you maybe want to watch something else? Netflix, Prime, we have all of it." There didn't came an answere for a longer time.

Simon placed the mug back down, he shrugged and mumbled a weak "I don't care..." before he laid down onto his side that hadn't been injured.

He laid fetal, which made him seem so much more hurt -if that even was possible-. Johnny gulped and nodded.

"Okay, take a rest. Sleep a bit. I'll be here with you." He whispered and grabbed a blanket, carefully laying it over his hurt partner.

Chapter Text

Soap sat down on the small armchair on the opposite of the table, he grabbed the TV remote and decreased the volume, but still let the TV play in the background.

He was watching his partner sleep with sad eyes, how did it just come to that? Two weeks ago, they were happy and the only sadness came from problems in missions or nightmares about the past.

Now, everything had changed. Johnny would never speak it out but he was terrified. About how broken Simom was. About Graves who still was out there. About the fact that he was scared that Simon might hurt himself or worse.

A deep sighed left his lips as he saw the small tears run down the blonds cheeks and heared the silent, weak voice. "I don't..."

Simon was crying in his sleep, whatever horror Graves had done to him was repeating itself in his head right now.

"No..." He whined desperate, his fingers clenching and unclenching into the blanket.

His mind didn't left him alone, not when he was awake and also not when he was asleep. Both times he still saw him, heared him and even feel him.

Johnny gulped his own tears down, he knew he shouldn't wake him up now. Sleeping through a nightmare is way better than waking up from one.

But he simply couldn't watch it anymore, so he stood up and went back into the kitchen.

Silently Soap started to make soup, an easy one for the stomach, without any meat.

He had asked the doctor for advice and he told him to start with easy food, that's not hard on the stomach and won't have anything in it that would remind him or trigger any trauma.

Alejandro had told him about the flesh, Soap didn't want to know if it had been real human or not.

His stomach churned at this throught, how fucked up was Graves?!

The smell of the soup filled the air and he hoped it would bring some comfort to Simon when he woke up. As he stirred in the pot, Soap couldn't forget the images of the horrors Graves had inflicted on Simon. The thought of that monster sent shivers down his spine.

Of disgust and hate.

Suddenly, a loud crash echoed from the living room,which made Johnny jump in concern,he rushed back to find Simon on the floor, he must have fallen down in his sleep. His fists clenched and unclenched, eyes squeezed shut in the horror of his nightmare.

Soap knew he should let him sleep though the nightmare, but he also saw the wounds on him, he needed to get back up on the couch.

"Simon, hey, please. Wake up. Its me, Im here, Im here. Just wake up." The Scot whispered, reaching a hand out for his partner but stopping himself instantly.

He and promised not to touch him, so he wouldnt.

"Simon, wake up." Soap tried it again, swallowing the fear and worry down that he felt. "Simon please..."

The blond whined desperatly in his sleep, begging for Graves to stop, for it all to stop, while his body curled further into himself.

The pain that shot through his side, his thigh and his... behind, woke him up. Simon shot upright with a gasp and a flinch, shuddering again as he saw Soap kneeling infront of him.

"Its me, its just me. Youre safe." Johnny whispered, keeping his voice calm and low to not startled him more.

The blond was breathing heavily, silent tears still run down his cheeks. The dream, no, the nightmare had shaken him heavily.

"Do you know where you are?" Another advice the doctor had given Soap, if Simon ever was close to a flashback or panic attack, he needed to be grounded.

To be reminded of his enviroment, of the current situation and safety he was in.

Simon gulped and nodded, he knew that technique and tried to go with it. "M-my... my living room."

Johnny gave him a soft and proud smile, he nodded. "Thats correct, now, can you get back onto the couch? The floor might be a bit to uncomfortable, isnt it?"

The moment Simon heared that, he hissed in pain, he had ignored the pain until now. With shaking arms he pushed himself back up and tried to carefully lift himself back onto the couch.

Soap had to stop a whince as he saw how his partner grimaced as he sat down. He opened his lips, but no words left him.

What had Graves done to his sweetly partner?! Why him?!

"Do you, uhm-" Simon looked up as he heared the cut off words, simply staring back at him.

"Do you- Are you hungry?" Johnny managed to asked, his heart clenched when the blond man instantly dropped his gaze again and shook his head.

"Really? Not at all? You have to eat something." Simon sighed and shook his head again. "Im not hungry."

Soap nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. "How about that? Im gonna get you a bowl of soup, place it right there and you might get hungry over time."

It wasnt something Simon wanted, he wasnt hungry, his stomach churned at the mere thought of eating something.

But he knew that he had to eat, to stay alive, to keep going. Not for himslef, he had given himself up long ago.

No, he had to keep going for him, for his partner, his love, his Johnny.

"Okay." Simon finnaly agreed after a bit of silence. "Perfect, Ill be right back." Soap whispered and slowly stood up.

He was proud, Simon was still fighting. Despite everthing. With the soft smile he walked into the kitchen and got a bowl of soup.

Before he brought it back in he crushed a few painkillers and vitamins and poured them into it. He knew the Lieutenant wouldnt like to swallow them, but he needed those pills.

"Here you go." Simon flinched again at the voice, he had zooned out again, the sudden words had snapped him back into reality.

"Thank you." He whispered and took the bowl, that had been placed onto the small table -to avoid touch-

With a deep sigh he force himself to take a spoon full, his stomach instantly turned.

Johnnys eyes filled with pain as he watched his partner turn to the side gagging, just to grab the bucket -that was standing next to the couch in case of moments like this one- and throw up.

"Its okay, dont worry about it. Let it out, dont force yourself." He whispered softly.

Simon continued to puke, tears streaming down his face as he struggled to control his body's violent reactions.

Soap stood infront of him, heart aching with helplessness and pity as he watched the extent of Simon's trauma. After what seemed like an eternity, Simon leaned back against the couch, drained and defeated.

"I'm sorry," He whispered hoarsely, his voice barely loud enough to hear. He didnt even knew himself to who he was saying that.

Johnny knelt down next to him, pure protectiveness, concern and love in his eyes. "Don't be sorry, Simon. You're doing amazing. Just take your time."

The blond man nodded weakly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. The taste of bile still lingered in his mouth, making him feel even more disgusted

"I-I can't... I can't keep doing this," Simon mumbled, his eyes filled with pain. It became to much, he was free now but was that really true?

When his body and mind was still haunted by his past could he call that freedom?

Soaps heart clenched. He couldn't stand to see Simon suffer like this any longer. "We'll figure this out together, okay? Dont give up now, Simon."

He whispered and looked desperatly at his partner. "We can do this, Ill be with you on every step. We can do this together, I promise. But only together. Please... dont give up."

Simon didnt respond, hearing those words was to confusing to him. How could Johnny still love him, still care for him even after he had become this excuse of a man?

Even after he had become a literal bitch to the traitor.

"Go away." Simon breathed out and looked to the ground, before his eyes snapped to Soaps face. "Go away! Leave me alone."

Johnnys eyes widen at the sudden loud and harsh words, but he knew what this was. Simon couldn't handle this situation, so he needed his space.

"Okay, thats alright. Ill be in the bedroom, call when you need anything. Alright?" The Sergeant answered softly and raised back to his feet.

"Ill be with you, dont forget that. I will always love you Simon." Johnny whispered before he left the living room.

The silence that was only interrupted by the TV was filled with sobs after a while. It teared through his heart, to hear his partner cry so broken.

But at least he was getting it out of his system...

Chapter Text

It was evening, Simon didnt ask for him at all this whole time. Only sitting there, crying his pain out. It was so unfair, how did it end like that?

He had cried until there were no tears left, until his eyes had been burning and his stomach hurting from his sobs.

But after a few hours, he had calmed down. Sat on the couch and starred off into nothing, before his eyes landed back on the soup.

The sun had already been down, when Soap carefully stepped back into the living room.

Simon was wearing his mask again, his eyes bloodshot and puffy, the pain and emptiness a constant reminder of Graves disgsuting actions.

“Hey… How are you doing?” Johnny approached him, slowly and with a lot of distance.

When there didnt came an answere, not even a reaction back, he nodded to the bowl of soup. It wasnt empty, but half eaten.

“I see you ate something. Thats good, Im proud of you-” “Im sorry.” Simon interrupted him, not daring to cross their gazes.

“There is nothing to be sorry for. I may not know how bad you feel, but I know that your feelings are completely valid and normal in such a situation.”

Johnny sat down on the chair next to the couch, trying to catch Simons eyes, which didnt quiet work.

“I want to-” Soap shook his head and started from new. “You have been through hell, someting that would break every single person, no matter their strenght. Graves is a sheer psycopath.”

Simon tensed at those words, but he had to hear it. “And yet, you are still here. Still standing and still fighting. You are strong. You hear me? So damn strong.”

Simon remained silent, his hands clasped tightly together in his lap. He couldn't bring himself to meet Johnny's gaze, the weight of his trauma pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket.

"I know it's hard to believe right now, but you're not alone in this, Simon," Johnny continued, his voice gentle and carring. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what. We'll get through this together."

The blonds fingers clenched into eachother, he bit his lips with wasnt visible under the mask. If he could he would have cried again now.

But there were no tears left.

Soap saw the pain, the pure terror in his partners eyes and he just had to offer comfort. Physical comfort. So he held out a hand, not threating, just as an option for him to take.

When Simon flinched regardless and shook his head, it hurted. He had expected that, but it still was painful to see his lover so down and hurt.

“Thats okay, just know that if you ever need a hug or anything. Whatever it is. Im here for you.” Something inside of the blond stirred as he heared those words.

“How…?” He whispered back and finnaly let their eyes meet. “How arent you-” But he didnt spoke it out, the pure love and warmth in his partners eyes, stopped him.

“Dont be afraid, tell me. Its okay.” Johnny tried to encourage him, while he slowly dropped his hand again.

“How are you not disgusted?!” Simon snapped, lenaing forward and whincing as the pain shot through his behind, he wasnt sitting correctly on the pillow.

Johnny's expression softened even more at Simon's outburst. He could see the self-hate, hurt and confusion in his lover's eyes, and it broke his heart to know that Simon was thinking like that.

With a short hesitation, Johnny reached out and gently placed a hand on Simon's hand, just to show he still wanted the touch and wasnt disgusted.

"I could never be disgusted by you, Simon," Johnny said firmly, his voice filled with nothing but the truth. "What Graves did to you was despicable, but it doesn't define who you are. You are so much more than what he reduced you to, so much more than what he did."

Simon flinched at the touch, his body tensing instantly. He was reliefed when the hand instantly let go of him again, to not overstep any boundaries.

But the reliefe was also there because of the fact that Soap acted like he really still liked him, as if it didnt matter what his body had been a few days ago. A toy…

"Please believe me when I say that I love you, Simon." Johnny continued, his voice warm. “Nothing can stop my feelings, not a war, not a fight, no bastard and especially no monster.”

The blond opened his mouth, wanting to answere, but didnt know how to, his mind wasnt ready. He wasnt ready for the fact that someone was still loving him for… himself. And not his body.

Leaning back, he winced again, wrapping his own arms around him as a form of comfort. The way his body still felt the hands and.. and other body parts.

Soap seemed to almost read his mind, he cleared his throat and nodded to the bandages. “How about a warm shower? These should get changed anyways and a shower might do you good.”

He watched him hesitat and instantly added. “Alone of course, Ill prepare everthing, new clothes and bandages and you can go and lock the door if you want, sound good?”

Simon hesitated, torn between the idea of feeling clean again and the memories the shower could trigger. But the caring look in Johnny's eyes gave him a sense of security that he hadn't felt in what a long time.

He was safe here, he was loved here. There wasnt anything to fear but his own fear. And if it meant to face them to finnaly feel clean again, so be it.

"Yeah... Yeah, a shower sounds good," Simon finally replied, surprising himself with the tiny smile that appeared on his lips. The thought of washing away the physical remnants of Graves' touch was oddly comforting.

Johnny nodded, a warm smile formed itself on his face too. It was so good to see his partners eyes wrinkle with the smile "I'll go get everything ready for you. Take your time, there's no rush."

As Soap left to prepare the bathroom, Simon slowly pushed himself up from the couch, wincing at the soreness in his body. Each movement felt like a battle, like his muscles and limbs were begging him to stop moving.

But no, he made his way to the bathroom, ignoring the crutches that he was supposed to use because of the bullet wound and limped his way over to the open door.

“Simon, Im done, you can-” Johnny stopped himself and gasped as he watched his stubborn partner walk without any help.

“Jesus, please use the crutches. You are still hurt, it has to heal.” He tried to reason, knowing that helping him walk wasnt an option because if the negative efect of touch.

“I dont feel it, it fine.” The blond mumbled, he did feel the pain, -welcomed it even- because it was a good distraction from the pain he felt in his…

Soap opened his mouth to argue, but he knew it was pointless, so he simply changed the topic back. “Everything is ready, do you want me to help with the bandages later?”

Simon froze before he shook his head, whispering a silent. “No…”

The Sergeant nodded and cleared his throat. “Alright then, go ahead. Take as much time as you need and call if you need my help.”

Limping past him, he simply nodded a ‘yes‘ as and answere and went into the bathroom. Closing and locking the door behind himself.

The mirrors had been long gone, Simon hated his face, not because he thought it was ugly, but because looking at it made him remeber. And he hated remembering.

The moment he had moved into this apartment he had thrown blankets over them to keep himself save from his own reflection.

But at one evening he had fallen into an episode and destroyes a few of them, Soap had stopped him, took care of his bleeding hands and the shards and made sure that every mirror was gone by sunrise.

Johnny… He was doing so much for him. And he? He was letting himself be used by others. He was disgusting.

Simon started to take off his clothes, flinching at his own hands and touch. Maybe the shower would help. But somewhat he doubted that.

Johnny was standing outside, he would clean up the couch and bowl in a few seconds, but at least wanted to make sure his partner was doing okay.

Only when the shower started running and there werent any dark sounds, he dared to move and start to remake the small rest space. He couldn't shake the image of his lover's haunted eyes, the way they seemed to hold so much pain and self-hate.

It tore at Johnny's heart to see Simon like this, suffering in silence.

Chapter Text

Simon took his time, scrubbing over his skin until it was red, trying to get the past away from it -with no effect- but the feeling never fully dissapeared.

Because it wasnt his body that wasnt clean, after all the showers he had take. No, it was his mind. His mind was still dirty with the things Graves had done to him.

Despite the warm water running over his body, Simon felt a deep coldness within him. He scrubbed and scrubbed, as if trying to wash away not only the physical aftermath of Graves' touch but also the emotional scars. The memories haunted him, clinging like shadows in the corners of his mind.

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cold stones of the shower wall, letting the water pound against his back. He tried to focus on the here and now, on the feeling of the water surrounding him, but his thoughts drifted back to that moments, to the pain and fear he had been through.

The blond let out a shuddering breath and forced himself to continued to wash himself, hoping that with every scrub those disgusting feeings would dissapear. But deep down, he knew that some stains couldnt be removed.

Closing his eyes he run his hands through his blond hair to wash out the shampoo, suddenly hands were around his waist, pulling him against a body.

Simon flinched, crying out a small. “Please no…” His eyes widen with terror as he heared Graves voice, with panic he stumbled back. But…

There wasnt standing anyone.

Graves wasnt there, nobody but himself was in the shower.

“Fuck!” He barked desperatly and hit his hand against the wall, letting out small whines to get rid of the panic.

Soap bit his lip and froze as he listened to his partners terror laced voice. The sound of something getting hit and the small pleads and curses.

Should he intervine or leave him be? It might be triggering to walk in on him showering, but what if he was to deep in the flashback?

Johnny decided to knock on the door, to ask, maybe his voice was enough to get him back into reality.

“Simon? Is everything okay?” No answere, no reaction. So he tried it again. “Hey Simon? Remember how we first kissed? How you let me pull up your mask and we just came closer?”

Simon sobbed, the images of Graves next to him, of his cruel smirk and his hands wass till there. But he heared his partners warm voice.

“I was so drunk, after the kiss I stumbled and knocked over your scotch.” Soap said with a small chuckle, those memories seemed to help, at least he couldnt hear Simon hit anything anymore.

“Next day I couldnt remember shit, when I asked you what happened you simply pulled your mask up and kissed me yourself. I was so flustered…”

Simon did remember that night, how they had been sitting at the bar and Soap started to talk about how cool, handsome and perfect he found him.

And the kiss, it had been so warm, filled with so much love. The first time that he really wanted to kiss someone and it was just perfect.

Even with the spilled scotch and the whole mess it had made, even with the slight hangover the next day.

“Simon, I love you.” Johnny whispered against the door, he had crouched down, his forehead pressed against the door and his eyes were closed.

Tears wheeled up in the blonds eyes, he hadnt sleept the night after their first kiss. He had went home and cried, asking himself of he was capable of being loved.

Just like he did now. How could someone love a disgusting whore? A used toy? A killer and a broken man?

“I really, really love you. So fucking much Simon.” Soap whispered and felt his own tears roll down his cheeks.

He jumped almost in suprise as the door got opened, when he looked up he saw Simon, covered in boxershorts and that was it, still dripping with water.

Teary eyes stared at him, the Sergeant slowly stood up, wanting to take a step back to give his partner more personal space.

But Simon let out a small sob and stepped closer, almost falling against him before he clenched to him for support.

At first Johnny was overwhelmend, then he wrapped his arms around him and pressed him to his chest, hugging him close.

It didnt matter that he was getting completly wet just like the floor, the only thing that mattered was having his partner closer to him.

Finnaly, being able to hug him again, to comfort him. To be there for him and not have him cry out in fear when he reached for his hand.

“Dont leave me. Please dont leave me…” Simon begged silently, sinking into the arms of his partner, seeking the comfort of the touch.

“I could never, I promise. Simon Im here, Im here. I wont leave you, never. I love you so much.” Johnny whispered soothingly, running his hands through the blonds wet hair.

His chest hurted from the pain and fear of abandoneds in his partners voice, from the heavy weight he was wearing on his shoulders, the trauma Graves had inflicted onto him.

Simon was shaking, his whole body shuddered with every small sob, he couldnt stop himself from pleading and begging Soap to stay with him.

Because he had realized that Johnny was the person. This on person. Who didnt saw him as the strong and cold blooded Ghost. Who didnt looked at him like the broken and trotured rape victim Simon.

No, Johnny looked at him and saw… him. Loved him, not his strenght, not his body, nothing but pure love for him.

And Simon didnt want to lose him, to lose his reason to keep fighting, to stand up every morning and bite through it, to actually feel loved.

Johnny held Simon tightly, feeling the tremors wracking his body as he sobbed in his arms. The shower water continued to drip from Simon's hair onto Johnny's shoulders, but he didn't care about the wetness seeping through his clothes. All that mattered was comforting his partner in this moment of vulnerability and pain.

"I'm here, Simon. I'm not going anywhere." Johnny whispered reassuringly, his voice laced with emotions. He continued to stroke Simon's wet hair, trying to offer whatever comfort he could in that moment.

Slowly, Simon's sobs began to quiet down, his grip on Johnny loosening slightly. He was to exhausted from the day, to weak from crying so much.

Soap instantly saw that, he carefully brought Simon back to the couch, that he had cleaned before.

He sat him down onto the pillow and wrapped the blanket around him, keeping a hand on his shoulders, he didnt want to let go yet.

Simon sniffled and clunched his hands into the blanket, he was so exhausted. From everything. Both mentally and physically.

“Ill go get the bandages and clothes. Alright?” Johnny whispered softly and squeezed his hand reassurengly, before he let go of him completely.

He walked into the bathroom, took the things he had placed there before and walked back. His partners eyes were on him the whole time, a gaze filled with fear, as if he would dissapear right here in the air.

Laying the things out next to the blond, he held a towel out for him. Simon took it and started to rub it through his hair.

Drying himself while Soap grabbed a bandage, looking at him with an unspoken question. He nodded, the safety from the hug still lingered, thats why he allowed his partner to treat the injuries.

But slowly the disgust with touch came back, at first he only tensed slightly when ever his skin was touched directly, then he tensed more and more, before he flinched with every move near him.

Johnny hurried, trying to finish the wrappings as fast as possible in order to not make his lover feel more uncomfortable anymore.

He knew the time of touching him was over, Simons guard was back up. But that was okay, after what had been done to him it was a miracle that he had even hugged him.

When everything was ready, he quickly helped him into dry clothes before he tugged him back into the blanket.

“Its late, try to sleep a bit.” Simon nodded, carefully laid back down onto his side and curled up into himself.

The moment Johnny walked up to the beedroom, Simon stopped him. “Wait! Dont. Dont go… Please.” He felt selfish, he hated to ask that.

But Johnny simply smiled and nodded. He walked back and sat down onto the armchair. “Okay, then Ill sleep here, alright?”

Gulping Simon nodded, he felt guilty, but he would feel much worse when Soap wouldnt be in the same room with him.

“Perfect, good night Simon. I love you.” He whispered and closed his eyes, he didnt expected it, thats why his heart fluttered so much more when he heared the silent answere.

“I love you too.”

Chapter Text

One month had passed after the torture Graves had inflicted, most physical injuries had healed or at least heal far enough to not be a big obstacle anymore.

Simon had gone back to train, trying to get back into form -which was pretty easy after years of combat and training-

But he didnt only try to get back into form, but working out was making him feel better. Feeling the physical drain was freeing, it made him feel alive again.

Like he could finnaly control when to feel exhausted and when not on his own again. Soap was with him at every step.

He made sure that Simon was okay, that he didnt hurt himself accidentally or on purpose. That he was taking care of himself and not falling deeper into his dark thoughts.

After this one night they didnt hug again, the vulnerability just didn't came out of Simon again. He had his walls build back up. Way higher than before.

Johnny was allowed to see the broken man, to watch him writ in a nightmare, caress his back when he had to throw up or hold his hand when he was crying from a flashback.

But hugging or any other form of close comfort was a total no go.

The therapist had said this was normal, they needed to slowly addapt to this state again, to build back up the trust and comfort that Graves had destroyed.

For two weeks Simon was also attending therapy, since Price had gotten him one with the order to heal before he was allowed back in combat.

Soap was glad, he knew it was the best choice. And even if Simon hated it, he went to them. For Johnny.

Just like today.

The Sergeant was sitting on the couch, drinking a limo and watching a show on Netflix while Simon was out.

A pack of snacks stood ready, a hoodie from Soap -since Simon hated hugs he found comfort in wearing his clothes- and a tea was ready to be made in the kitchen.

Usually Simon would come back, silently, quiet, not even uttering a word while he would curl up on the couch and watch the show that was runing till the evening, before he went training and then to bed.

Today was different, he almost slammed the door open, the loud 'thud' made Johnny jump in supise. He raised his eyebrows and watched his partner.

The blond came inside, threw the door shut behind him and walked into the kitchen swearing. Soap stood up, worried about this behavior. He knew that something was up.

"Simon?" He asked carefully and approached the kitchen, just to hear the fridge door shut close. "Simon, is everything alright?"

The Sergeant got a reaction, but not one he had expected, he thought the blond might break down crying, flinch back from him or even completely ignore him.

But no, Simon looked at him, glared at him. Pissed and angry. "Shut your fucking mouth." He grumbled and opened the beer, before shoving his way out of the kitchen.

Johnny stumbled before he looked back at him irritated. "Simon, please. Talk to me. What happened?"

He followed him to the living room, tried to get him to say anything else but small curses, before Simon finnaly snapped at him.

"Property of Graves. Mine. Mine. Mine. My slut! I own you?!" Simon voice became louder and louder, filled with anger and hate.

Johnny felt his heart ripp apart, he knew those words, he' s had a breakdown because of them in the last month.

Those were the words Graves had cut into his back.

Those words were scarred over, but still visible. Johnny had hoped that Simon would have forgotten them, he couldnt see them himself and never asked for what was written.

Now the therapist had adressed this topic and read the words to Simon, who didnt knew the meaning until now.

"I-Im sorry... I know these words are cruel. But they are wrong-" "Shut the fuck up!" The blond yelled at him and smashed the bottle on the ground.

This was clearly an emotional breakdown, but not one the Soap had ever seen from him. This wasnt from memories or nightmares. This was pure trauma talking.

He watched with wide eyes how the beer soaked into the carpet, staining it slowly. But Simon didnt seem to care.

"Leave me alone." The blond hissed and stomped past him, wanting to go back into the kitchen to get another drink.

But this time Soap shook his head. "I wont, you need me. Im not going to leave you now. Simon, please just sit down."

He reached out to him, tried to lay a gentle hand onto his partners shoulder, but no avail. Simon slapped the hand away.

With a small angry yell he changed his path and walked right out the door, leaving the apartment. Johnny stared at the closed door for a while.

Where was he going? Just a walk, maybe he was jsut taking a walk to clamn down.

That was what he told himself the whole rest of the day, while he cleaned up the mess and sat back down on the couch, trying to distract his worry by watching the show.

It didnt quiet work. Johnnys concern grew and grew until he couldnt wait no longer and put on his shoes, leaving the apartment himself to look for his partner.

It was almost midnight, he had searched the park, the whole neighborhood at one point even looked over the bridge, scared to see Simons body down in the water.

But nothing, there was no clue of where he was. Johnny started to panic, he called Price for advice and explained the situation.

The answere came back instantly. A bar. Of course!

So he walked to the closest one and stepped up o the bartender. "Excuse me, have you seen a blond man? Blue eyes, dark clothes? Wearing a face mask?"

The barteneder thought for a second before he nodded. "With a face mask, yes I did. Quit muscular, he came in and ordere a few drinks, before he went outside with one of the guys."

Soaps heart clenched. "You mean-" "Yes, I mean for sex. For what else? Wait. Dont tell me hes your boyfriend, Honey. Oh damn, Im sorry." The bartender sighed and nodded to the backdoor.

"They went through there, talked about some form of motel." "Thanks..."Soap mumbled before he rushed out of the back door.

He knew that the bartender thought that Simon was cheating on him, but Johnny knew better. This wasnt cheating, this was what Graves had tried to turn him into.

A toy existing to simply please others. And with the direct confrontation of the unclear trauma Simon had, he tried to find comfort in doing exactly that.

Sleeping with someone even if he didnt fully wanted it himslef. Johnny was walking pretty fast, almost running to where he thought might be the motel, which was pretty easy to find.

He hurried up the stepps and barged into the door, stepped up right to the desk. "Two man, one blond with a face mask. What room are they in?"

The woman raised her eyebrows. "Sir, Im not allowed to give out personal data. Im sorry." Johnny groaned before he leaned forward.

"This is a military operation. Room number. Now." To his suprise and hopes, showing her a quick prove of his patch, she nodded and comlied.

"Room 107, Sir. Is everything alright?" "Thank you. Everything is under control, dont worry." Soap answered with an authoritive thone before he turned around and hurried up to the right room.

Please no. He begged in his head, hoping that Simon and the stranger hadnt gone to far yet. For Simons mental health.

With a stong kick he broke the door open and forze shortly. A black haired man was sitting on the bed, straddling his partners hips and pressing him into the matress, while their lips meet.

Soap was instantly next to them, he pulled the man off and shoved him to the side, before he took Simon hand and pulled him upwards.

His eyes widen, Simon had a bloody nose and a split lip, his blue eyes were puffy and seemed completely void.

Anger was rising, his eyebrows narrowed and Soap turned back around to the black haired stranger. "What did you do to him?!"

The Sergeant was ready to snap, to get up and beat the shit out of this man if this bastard had done anything to his lover.

"Nothing, some guy tried to touch a girl, he stepped in between and took a few hits. I took him here, just were trying to help." The stranger said, way to calm.

Johnny spat out an angry scoff. "Right, 'help', not stick your tongue into his mouth, you fucking prick."

Simon was not listening completely, he wasnt fully there, his mind filled with the terror of his capture, the words for every scarred into his back.

With a last angry glare, Johnny turned back to Simon and carefully helped him up. "Lets go home, Im here, its okay."

The way back was silent and heavy, the situation had been another raw look into how destroyed Simons self worth actually was.

But Soap wouldnt give up on him, not now, not ever. He loved him to much.

Chapter Text

Neither Soap nor Simon had said a word when they arrived at the apartment, while Johnny was thinking about how he had let his partner down, Simon was simply detached.

The Sergeant felt to much at once, guilt because he didnt check on the blond man sooner, hate because of this black haired stranger who had almost destroyed all the progess and anger to the person who had hit Simon.

Carefully he helped him into the apartment, sitting him down on the couch as always, before he crouched down infront of him, trying to find his eyes.

“Simon? Can you… Can you hear me?” Caressing his fingers over Simons shoulder he gave him a reassuring squeez.

“I'll fix you nose and lip up and we get you to sleep.” Empty eyes stared back at him, void and lifeless.

Johnny wanted to scream, to go back into time in which he had joked and laughed with Graves and rip him appart then and there, so he could have never destroyed his lover so much.

With a heavy sigh, he stood up and got disinfectiont and cotton balls, just like wound strips.

While he cleaned away the blood and patched him back up, they again didnt change a word. This was just a sad situation, no words could make it better.

Soap finished the patches before he hesitantly put a hand against the blonds cheek and caressed over it.

“Its not your fault. Okay? None of it. You saved this girl even when you were hurt yourself. Thats strong, the asshole afterwards wasnt your fault. You fought and Im proud of you.”

When there still wasnt any reaction, Johnny swallowed his feelings and carefully pressed a soft kiss into his lovers hair. "Go to sleep, here…”

He pulled the shoes and the jacket off of him and helped him lay down, before he gave him another soft smile. “Its not your fault. I love you.”

Simon didnt move, he stared to the side and only listened to how Johnny walked out of the living room.

At first it was planned differently, but now Soap was sleeping in the bedroom and Simon in the livingroom. He dind’t like smaller rooms that could be closed, it was reminding him of the cell.

A few hours passed, but he simply couldnt sleep. What had he done today? He had not only yelled at Soap and acted like a total ass, he had also went outside and almost sleept with a stranger.

The man had been gentle and kind, but also acted in a way that reminded Simon of Graves. This disgusting false comfort.

Maybe this was the real reason that he didnt like getting hugged, because Graves had turned comfort into something disgusting.

Simon sniffled and placed his hand onto the same cheek on which Soaps had been before, he was a sucker for comfort even if he hated it now.

“Fuck it…” He mumbled and sat up, looking over to the bedroom in which his partner was sleeping. “Fuck it.”

Simon said again, trying to encourage himself. Why not? Why the fuck not? Because he was scared of the past?

Bullshit! Not once did Soap hurt him. Not once! So why the fuck shouldnt he seek his comfort?

With that mindset Simon stood up and walked over to the one person that loved him strong enough to overwrite his self hate.

Hesitating he stepped into the bedroom, shortly scared to lay down into the bed. He felt like inviting anyone to take his body the moment he laid down in a bed.

But again, there was only Johnny, the first one who understand and love him, to give him a safety that he didnt know he needed.

Silently he crawled into the bed, laying down next to the Sergeant and placed a hand onto him, his breath picked up, fear flooded him and with a litle shudder he forced himself to press his body against his sleeping lover.

Johnny mumbled in his sleep, turned a bit and wrapped an arm around him. It was pure habbit, the two of them had always slept like this before the things with Graves happened.

For a few minutes Simon didnt dared to move, he simply laid there, tense, trying to control his breath and keep calm.

Then -slowly- he calmed down, the tension left and he drifted off into sleep. This was the first night in which there wasnt any nightmare shaking him awake.

.

The moon was shining through the window, the room inside was dark. Still, he could see the two men inside, laying there cuddled together.

A smile fell over his face, this had been to easy, way to easy.

How much luck could he have? This was unbelievable. As if something in this univers agreed with him.

Pressing a hand against the glass from the outside, his breath fogged against it.

The two soldiers inside moved a bit, only cuddling up against eachother a bit closer.

“Youll be mine again.”

.

The first thing Johnny felt in the morning was the weight on his chest. Something he hadnt felt in almost two months.

Confused he blinked multiple times and opened his eyes, running a hand through his mowhawk he finnal realized what exactly was going on.

Simon had cuddled up against him, it felt so warm, so good to finnaly wake up like that again, that Soap had to supress a sound of joy.

In that moment nothing matter, not the fact that he had to go to the toilette nor the time.

Johnny wanted to enjoy this moment, so he didnt move, as if there was a cat sitting on his lap.

Slowly and silently he let his hand sink into the blond hair and caressed through it, he felt at home. It was such a warm moment that he had almost happy tears in his eyes.

It was such a calming thought, to know that even after everthing, after yesterday and after Graves, he still was a form of safety for him.

Yesterday...

He shouldnt have let him walk out of the door. Soap had known that, that something wasnt right, that Simon wasnt in a good state of mind.

And because he let him leave this stranger had almost-

Johnny sighed, not wanting to think about the aftermath of what would have happened. Of how much this could have thrown him back into the beginning.

"Ill protect you." He mumbled and run his hand throught he blond curls. "I promise." It felt bad to only think it to himself. He needed to speak it out.

To make the promise count.

Thats exactly what he did, because he really meant it. Soap never thought that he woud be able to love someone that much and get loved so much back at the same it.

Half an hour passed before Simon woke up too, tensing as he felt the body he pressed himself against and the hand in his hair, then he dared to look up and meet eyes filled with warmth.

Letting out a relieved breath he placed his face back onto Soaps chest and closed his eyes again. Savoring the fact that he felt save even in such a tight space and close body contact.

"Good mornig, Si."  Johnny whispered to not stirr him awake completely, feeling so proud when he saw how his lover relaxed again. "Morning..." The answere followed, a sleepy voice that didnt sound like he had begged all night for something to stop.

Not even the eyes were puffy or bloodshot from crying. "No nightmare?" He asked, with a mixture of hope, suprise and happiness. Simon shook his head and breathed out deeply.

"Nope." For a few second both just laid there, as if the horror from the past had never happened. Then Simon interrupted the silence. " 'm sorry..."

He mumbled and looked up. "Im sorry for yesterday, I shouldnt have yelled at you or went out or destroy that bottle or kiss that man- I- I... Im so sorry."

There it was again, the fear of Soap turning away from him and leaving him alone. "Please dont leave me..." Upon hearing that plea Johnny instantly shook his head and smiled at him softly.

"Never. And again, this wasnt your fault. I love you, I cant lose you again and I wasnt angry at you. I was angry at the man, at myself and even a bit at the therapist. But not at you. This isnt your fault. And I will never leave you. I promise."

"B-but... I almost cheated on you. I kissed someone else, with full consent... I-" Simon trailed off, biting his lip.

He remembered the last night, he'd sat at the bar when he heared a man with a russian accent trying to get with a girl who clearly was uncomfortable.

Simon hadnt thought twice, he had stood up and pushed the man away from her, before the man swung at him.

The hit landed, but he swung back and knocked the pervert out. That was when the stranger offered him to take care of the nose, they went outside and the stranger pressed him against the wall... kissing him.

And he hasn't pulled back or asked to stop, he had walked with the stranger to the motel...

Johnny could see it, the guilt and self disgust behind his lovers eyes. "Honestly? I doubt this was consensual. Did you really wanted it? Or did your mind just blacked out?"

Simon opened his mouth to answer, which wasn't needed. It was obvious. Of course his mind had dissociated instantly, the kiss had trigger his trauma with Graves.

"I'm sorry Simon. But this yesterday... that was assault." Soap mumbled and looked down at him with remorse and sadness.

"And Im not leaving you because of disgusting humans thinking they own the world and can do such thing to you." Simon sniffled and looked up at him with big eyes.

"You promise?" His voice was hiding a bit of fear. Fear that his partner would be disgusted with his body, his scars and everything.

"I promise." Johnny reassured which wasn't enough for Simon yet.

"Even when I had so many different hands on me? Even when I was raped so often and are now so dirty? Even when another man's name is carved in my back?" He was speaking without thinking, tears threaten to fall.

"Even when I had orgasmed from it?!" His eyes widen as the words slipped out, it was something he hadn't told anyone yet.

With a shudder he sat up, pushing himself away from Soap. The tears were now rolling.

Johnny sat up too, watching the small breakdown with a heavy heart. So that's where Simons self hate came from, Graves had not only used him but also made him... orgasm.

"Hey, Simon, listen. Even then I won't leave. I promise, okay? What happened wasnt your fault, you had no control over it." He reached slowly out for the blonds hands, who pulled them back.

"A body reacts to stimulation, it's human. It's not reacting to consent, not to love, not to nothing. If you get stabbed, you bleed. That's human. And the other thing is similar. Action, reaction. Nothing else."

Soap tried to calm his partner down, to make him see that this wasn't his fault. That this was all Graves and Graves only.

"I'm so sorry Simon, for everthing that bastard did. But please never blame yourself. You had no word in this case. Whatever had happened was not in your hands." He spoke and spoke, he had to make his point clear.

"It's not your fault, the words don't meant anything. You are not anyone's toy or slut, okay? You are your own person, a strong one! But unfortunately strong people can become victims too. You survived hell on earth, don't blame yourself. Blame Graves, the devil. Not yourself." Johnny gulped and opened his arms.

"I love you, I care about you. I hate what had been done to you, but this won't make me love you less. It only makes me love you more. I won't leave, so come here. Let me hold you, yeah?"

Simon sobbed, those words had been way more needed than he had thought. No therapist could have helped him with it, because it had to be Soap who said it.

Without any other thought, Simon let himself sink into his lovers arms. "Thank you..." He cried against his chest, nuzzling his face to hide from the world.

"It's okay, just let it out." Johnny whispered and Simon did. He cried, until he couldn't anymore, it took hours, but he let it out.

All the pain from that shitty moment starting when Graves first forced himself onto him.

It wasn't his fault.

It was pure reaction.

He had no saying in this.

He wasn't a slut...

He wasn't toy...

He wasn't a whore!

He was just a victim!

And with that, it felt like a very heavy weight was lifted from him. Simon hadnt like or wanted it, he had been forced into it.

Now finnaly he understood that too.

Chapter Text

The next weeks went away slowy, it was like Simon was in a constant mood change. Between highs and lows.

At on day he was cuddling with Soap, the next day he had locked himself into the bathroom. Once he was maskless eating together with Johnny, then he was curled up in the shower, fully clothed.

The Sergeant had started to go with his lover to the therapy, it took him appart to hear Simon talk about what Graves had done, but this was making it a lot easier for both of them.

Soap was getting tips on how to deal with the blonds mental health problems and Simon himself felt a lot more at ease when he wasnt alone in the therapy sessions.

It took around four whole months until Simon was mostly stable again. He knew from his past with Roba that it would take years until he was completely fine again -if he would ever even reach that point- but that was okay. He had his lover, he had Johnny.

Who was sleeping next to him right now, while the blond was staring at the ceiling, he had been unable to sleep for a few hours now, the sun had already risen again.

"Come here baby, I said you would always be mine~" Graves hummed and slowly crawled over the bed, Simon flinched and tensed, his eyes widen.

How did he get in here?! No! No- wait...

Simon closed his eyes and reached for the hand of the sleeping Johnny next to him. Flashbacks. He had had them in the last months rather often again, the therapist had diagnosed him with PTSD... again.

The last times he had broken down, it had destroyed his whole day and even the days after. Soap had tried to help him through it. Ever single time.

Now it was easier to deal with them, nothing pleaseant but at least he wasnt laying on the ground fetal for the next hours.

Johnny felt how his hand was squeezed he grumbled and yawned, before he sat up and instantly recognized what was happening.

Simon had his eyes shut, his body tense and the breath was ragged. A flashback.

"Simon, hey, its me. Take deep breaths, nothing is happening currently. Youre okay." Johnny whispered soothingly and caressed his thumb over his partners hand.

"There hands on my waist..." Simon mumbled, feeling the hands of Graves wander over him. Johnny nodded to himself and placed his free hand onto his chest.

"Just one on your chest, can you feel it? My hand. Concentrate on that, its just me." Simon grabbed it, took a deep breath and tried to ignore the way Graves was staring to open his pants.

"Johnny..." Soap gulped when he heared the pure panic behind the voice. "Im here, Im here. Just me, Simon. Its just me. Let me hold you, alright?"

Hands were wandering down. To his... To his- Simon nodded, he felt how his lovers arms instantly wrapped around him, how he got pressed against Johnnys chest and heard the heart beat.

Bam.

Bam.

It was so calming.

Bam.

Bam.

It was just him, only Johnny with such a calming and warm heart beat.

Bam.

Bam.

"You are okay, Simon. You hear me? No one is here." Soap soothed and held him close, feeling the blonds breath calm down.

Right, no one was there. Only him and Johnny, onyl the two of them. The only thing he felt was Soap. Nothing else. Those disgusting hands of Graves had stopped.

He opened his eyes and sighed. "Thank-" Simon stopped himself, both soldiers had agreed to stop saying 'Thank you' and 'Im sorry'. Instead they agreed on something different.

"I love you." Johnny smiled and let his hand caress through the blond hair. "I love you too."

For the next few seconds they sat still, holding onto eachother, before they let go. "How are you doing?"

Simon looked down to himself and then around, Graves really wasnt there, nothing had happened. "Good. Well... as good as I can currently be."

"Thats good, how about we eat breakfast?" Simon nodded and stood up, just like Johnny did, while the Sergeant went into the bathroom, the Lieutenant started to make breakfast.

Just when Johnny was almost ready, his phone started ringing. "Simon, can you pick up?" He asked from the bathroom. "Sure." Simon answered back and took the phone.

"Price." He stated, the name had been on the phone screen. It had been a long time since they had talked to eachother. The Captain seemed to be stunned for a second, his voice became softer.

"Simon... Its- Its good to hear you again. Soap said you are doing better." Simon nodded, even if Price wasnt able to see it.

"Indeed I am. Now tell me, why are you calling. Is there a problem?" The blond man asked in the exact moment Johnny walked out of the bathroom.

Automatically the call was put on speaker. "Hello, Sir." On the other side of the line, Price hesitated and sighed. "Look, I know the last months had been hard, you need your rest, this recovery, but-"

Soap and Simon looked at eachother, checking in if it was fine wth the other one throuogh just their eyes. "Sir, whats the matter?"

Price stayed quiet for a short second. "A man named Makarov, he has escaped prison a few days after the two of you had settled down. We are hunting him since then, but we just cant get a hold on him. Until now. We could need... your help."

"When?" Johnny asked and got the answere directly. "Right now."

.

"You were right. I want a taste myself." The man said with a grin.

"He is mine. But Im willing to share... for some time." They stared at eachother, the tension was high.

"A deal is a deal, you keep your men away and I will bring you your toy. I will try him first though." He held out a hand.

"A deal is a deal." The other repeated with a grin and grabed the hand.

.

"Are you really sure that you are ready for that?" Johnny asked quietly, looking over to Simon who was sitting next to him in the car.

Sighing, the blond man pulled his mask right shrugged. "No, but we are needed. I can deal with it." "Are you sure?" Soap asked, he was worried.

It had taken months for Simon to heal, to get him back up onto his feet. Hard months of a lot of pain, trauma, tears and nightmares. And this wasnt even over yet.

Johnny knew better than anyone else that his partner was still waking up almost every night, gasping for air. That he flinched every time a hand was close to his hips. The way he froze when he heared a zipper or a belt.

One step forward took long and was hard to achieve, while multiple steps back could happen at any time, with any panic attack or flashback.

"Simon?" He mumbled carefully and reached a hand over, placing it onto his partners thigh. Simon instantly flinched and tensed.

He looked down to the hand and then to the person touching him, before he breathed out and lost his tension. "Yeah?" Simon answered and laid his own hand on top of Johnnys.

"Im here with you, I hope you know that you dont have to do this." Simon wanted to say something to that along the lines from 'I have to do it', but Soap was faster.

"You really dont have to do it. We will help Price, we will hunt down and defeat Makarov. But if you need a break or if you cant do this yet, we will stop. Okay? I dont want to risk you geetting hurt again." Johnny softly squezzed his leg.

"Just promise me to be honest, to tell me when its getting to much." The Sergeant looked deep into the blue eyes that stared back at him. It almost was unusual to see him again in military gear and his skull mask.

"I promise Johnny. I dont want to risk anything either." Simon whispered and added with a quiet and rather weak voice. "I cant do this again..."

"You wont have to. I wont let anything happen to you ever again." Johnny sounded determind and hateful at the same time.

What Graves had done -that monster- it was something Soap would never in a million years forgive him. To think the two of them had been friends before and now this bastard had done such disgusting things to his lover.

For a short second the two of them smiled at eachother while the car came to a halt, then they left it. Price was already waiting for them, gretting them with a handshake and nothing more.

The Captain knew not to demand to much now, both of his soldiers had went through enough. In fact it was a mircale that Simon was already able to go back into duty.

He had know soldiers that got tortured for a way shorter amount of time and needed years to get back, if they even wanted it or could.

"Im glad to have you back, boys." "Good to be back, Sir." Simon answered which Soap agreed too with a louder. "Lets go a beat some ass!"

Chapter Text

"Left side is clear!" "Right side is clear!" "Move forward!" Orders and answeres were yelled through the coms, soldiers hurried around, weapons got pointed into all corners.

"Next room!" One after another got into the room, all sides were protected. "Nothing, room is clear!" That had been the last room, Price grumbled under his breath and lowered his gun.

"I want the whole room searched! Every single drop of dust! Now!" The Captain barked. Simon had already sat down on the table and started looking through the computer.

Soap was standing right behind him, looking over his shoulder, while the others looked through everything that was in this room.

"What exactly are we looking for?" The Sergeant asked quietly, to which the Lieutenant shrugged. "I dont know, we will see it if we find it."

For a few seconds the only thing audible were the soldiers searching the place in the background and the fingers typing over the keyboard.

"Here. Old deleted messages." Price was instantly next to him. "Good, can you get them back Ghost?" Both Simon and Soap froze for a second.

Ghost. He hadnt been called that in a long while, the last time was when-

Johnny carefully placed a hand on his partners shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. Showing he was there.

Simon swallowed his memories down, concentrated on the present and nodded.

"Ill do my best." He answered and pluged an USB in, typing over the keyboard.

Soap smilled, this was working well. The two of them really had come far.

"Its a plan, around five months old. About how to get Makarov out of prison. He is not alone, he had help from the outside." Ghost mumbled and started to copy the messages over to the USB.

"Sir, we found a hidden door, there is a larger hallway behind it." Gaz said, looking to Price for orders, who nodded to himself.

"Okay, Gaz, Soap. You two are going to check that out. Be careful." Simon raised his eyebrows, he and Johnny  exchanged a small nod.

Even if Johnny didnt want to let him alone, they werent in the apartment and this wasnt the time to show vulnerability.

So -with a last reassuring squeez- Soap let go of his partners shouldler and followed Gaz with his gun raised. They walked side by side.

Gaz watched the left, Soap the right.

They made their way through the hidden door and hallway, they seemed unused and old, everywhere was dust.

"Nothing." Gaz mumbled and shook his head, there was absolutely nothing here.

"You think a hidden hallway in a hideout of a terrorist is 'nothing'? Just a coincidence?" Johnny asked skeptically, which got answered with a small grunt.

"No, but there really isnt anything here." Gaz sighed and lowered his weapon, they had walked through every single room, but despite dust over dust, there wasnt anything here.

"Boys, found anyhting?" Price asked through coms. "Nothing, Sir. There isnt anything here. What about you?" "We are done here. Meet up, we'll go back."

"Understood." Both Sergeants answered and turned around.

.

"They are like mice hunting cheese, adorable." Makarov chuckled, watching the 141 men leave his old hideout.

"Seems like they found the hidden rooms." Makarov shrugged at that, the confidence didnt left him. "Nothing to bad. Everything is going according to plan, it is almost way to easy."

Graves smirked back at him, before his attention was pulled back to the small hideout, they were watching from the opposite rooftops, how the soldiers were leaving it again.

The leader of the Shadows breath automatically picked up when he saw him. Him. Simon. "Oh fuck, as if nothing ever happened. Huh?" He groaned to himself, watching him move.

Makarov raised his eyebrows and laughed, shaking his head amused. "Your little obsession is getting out of hand."

"Maybe." Graves agreed, still watching Simon. How the Lieutenant made his way to the cars, gave someting small to Price and sat down next to Soap.

"But look at that." He hummed, feeling the same arousal wander through his veins from the times the blond had flinched away from him.

Johnny had sat down next to him and placed a hand on the other mans thigh, who had tensed and flinched. Graves had seen it, the fear, the panic.

Even if it had been there just for a short second.

Makarov had seen it too and it was exactly what he needed. "A liabilty. Ghost once would have been our biggest problem, but thanks to you. Its just a hurt little boy, playing a though soldier. Adorable."

.

With an exhausted sigh, Johnny pushed the door to their room in the barracks open and walked in. Simon right behind him, who sighed too, pulling his mask off of his face.

He sat down onto the bed and started to open his chest gear. Again, the tension instantly went over his body.

Soap looked down, sadness in his eyes. "How are you holding up?" He asked carefully and sat down next to him.

Keeping a good dinstance to not get into his lovers personal space, but close enough to be a comforting presence.

"Exhausted, that's it." Simon mumbled and took his balanclava off too, his eyes catched his reflection in the window and he froze.

That is how he looked like? He looked so... dead. Dead eyes, pale skin, messy hair, those scars...

"Simon, hey. Are you still with me?" Johnny carefully placed a hand onto his cheek and made him look away from the reflection.

"Come on, handsome. Come back to reality." Soap knew that Graves had used pet names on him, he had heared it in therapy.

But he knew that 'handsome' wouldn't be a trigger, at least he hoped it.

Simon blinked multiple times. Who could love a face like his? The answer came instantly after he came back to reality.

"Johnny..." The blond man breathed out and leaned his face against the hand, feeling the warmth of it against him.

A warmth that by far wasn't anything disgusting. It wasn't anything that made him want to stop feeling. It was... warm. So warm.

"Are you really doing okay?" Johnny asked, his voice laced with nothing but love.

"It will be okay, I just need to rest." "Okay, them let's do this. Let's rest a bit." The Sergeant answered and stood up.

After a few minutes, both man laid in the bed, cuddled up against eachother, a random YouTube video played on the small TV.

"I have a bad feeling..." The blond man said after a bit of silence. "You know, those messages we found?"

"Hm, yeah? What's with them?" Johnny asked hesitantly, he was aware that this could simply be the anxiety and trauma talking.

But Ghost knew his job, he knew it almost better than anyone. He could trust his instincts.

"They were shortly before-" A small shudder went through him, he gulped, but forced himself to speak it out loud.

"Before Graves betrayl. And Makarov broke out... while we were fighting against Graves. Maybe... maybe everything was planned."

Johnny sat abruptly up and looked at his partner, who slowly sat up too. "You dont mean that-? Graves and Makarov... are working together."

Simon nodded. "It's a possibility. Price said its rather unlikely because there isn't a motive. Neither of these two would gain anything from it, but-"

"It's still a possibility." Soap finished his sentence and nodded. Fear and an uncomfortable feeling creept up from the inside.

"That means if they are working together and we are against Makarov... We are against Graves too." Johnnys eyes had so much hate behind them, he grunted and shook his head.

"Simon, we are out. We're not doing that. I won't let you face that bastard again!" "Johnny, no. We have to- I can't- I have to-" Simons voice broke.

Tears burned in his eyes, he hated it. How he had become so weak when it came to any form of confrontation.

"I can't live knowing he's still out there." The blond managed to bring it out before the tears broke.

Johnny watched that for a short second, pulling him against his chest. "It's okay, I get it. I really do. I'm sorry, that's not my decision. It's yours."

Simons hands clenched into the shirt, Graves words in his head. 'I will come back. You are mine.'

"We do this. But we do this together." Soap whispered and hugged him closer. "I won't leave you alone, especially not facing this alone."

Chapter Text

Simon raised his eyebrows. "You sure that you dont just want to keep me out of this mission?" He asked and looked at his partner while he pulled his mask on.

Soap instantly nodded, before he bit his lip and rocked his head from left to right. "Okay... maybe. But thats not it! We do need to get some clothes here, we cant wear one pair for the next weeks. So... please?"

Johnny had asked him to go back to the apartment and get some clothes, since they were staying in the barracks of the base again.

At the same time there was another mission going on, Price had talked to Soap, told him that this might be a combat mission and he was unsure if Simon would be ready for it.

"Look Si, I know that this isnt cool for you but... Im worried. If this mission would really turn into a fight, i would be to scared for you to really concentrate." Simon sighed at that, took a few seconds to think and nodded than.

"Okay, Ill just go and get some stuff. I get it, honestly I dont how I would react so... its better that way." The blond mumbled, which made his lover breath out in reliefe.

"I love you, I really do. Lets start slowly, we shouldnt risk to much." Johnny murmured and raised his arms, a habit they created. It was a question for a hug, to see if the other wanted to be touched or not.

Simon leaned into the arms, sighing at the warmth he felt. "Yes, lets do that. Ill be on my way, come back safe, okay?" Soap leaned slighly back and put a hand on his cheek.

Caressing over it with his thumb, even if all he felt was the mask. "I promise Ill come back. Safe and uninjuried." Carefully, he pressed a soft kiss onto his foreahead.

Simon smiled under his mask, before he stepped back. "I count on that." He said and left the barracks, the blond made his way to the cars and drove back to his appartement.

Stepping out the car, he walked up the stairs, pulled out his keys and opened the door. A small flinch went through him at the shadow he saw on the ground, it was just the trees outside the window.

"Fucking hell..." He breathed to himself, shaking his head at his own jumpiness. He didnt understood it, his heart was beating faster and he felt a bit of anxiety creep up on him.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" He asked himself, closed the door behind him and locked it, just to feel a bit saver. There werent any new messages from Johnny, but the mission shouldnt have started yet.

The Lieutenant walked through the livingroom, counting numbers in his head to calm his breath down. Why was he so scared?

Usually he would have seeked Johnny's comfort to calm him down, but right now he was alone. "Get it together." He grumbled, his hands had grown sweaty.

Ignoring it, he went into the bedroom and opened the closet, pulling some clothes out. This ignorance turned into a heavy realisation at what he flinched at.

The shadow on the ground from the tree outside had scared him... because he always closed his curtains when he left. Since it was open... "Someone was here." Simon breathed out, his whole body shuddered at the bedroom door falling close.

"Was?" The man asked with a grin and tilted his head, he knew it. Simon was still weak, he knew it.

The blonds eyes widen, he knew this mans face. It was the one from the bar...

.

Johnny looked at his phone, again. Nothing. Where was he?

"Soap, are you coming?" Gaz asked and poked into his arm, riasing his eyebrows since he had called the Sergeant now for a few times without him reacting.

"Hm? Oh yeah." Johnny mumbled and followed, stepping into the vehicle that started almost instantly. They made their way to the next mission.

An old warehouse place that was assumed to be one of Makarovs hideouts.

"Son, what is it?" Price asked after a while, both him and Gaz had watched Soap looking at his phone every few seconds.

The Scot looked up, saw how both of them were looking at him with a mix of confusion and worry. He let out a deep sigh. "Its Simon-"

"Is he okay? Whats wrong?" The Captain instantly asked, he was worried, was his soldier okay? Safe? Had he gotten a relapse?

"No, I dont know. Simon is at home, getting us some stuff to wear. But he didnt come back yet, not even a message. Hes gone for a few hours now." "Maybe he just went somewhere else? Or got himself a coffee... well, a tea on the way?" Gaz tried to calm him.

"Simon is probably fine, dont worry about him." Price added, they need to keep a clear head on this mission, there was no room to worry now. Even if that was a bit painful.

"Yeah... he's probably fine..." Soap agreed in a small mumble, not believing it at all. He was worried or his lover, but he also knew to keep his head clear.

And thats what he did, he concentrated on the mission before him, not on his partner. The whole time, even if he sometimes thought back to Simon, he was concentrated.

The team reached the warehouses, all three hidden in gear that looked similar to gras. The task force men would hide in the tall gras around the warehouses to check out the situation there.

"No movements detected." Gaz gave it through the coms, Price nodded to himself. "Good, lets move a bit more forward."

All three moved, slowly and silently through the gras, keeping their hands down and weapons on the body. "At 11 on the window on the second house." Soap shortly fixiated on the point.

Something had moved, they froze, watched that point. At the small chirp and wings flattering, all three breathed out. "Just a bird." Johnny groaned which made Gaz chuckled.

"Maked me a bit hungry for nuggets. You gonna invite us to McDonald's after that, Sir?" Price scoffed amused. "Eyes on the mission, Garrick. Lets move again."

Slowly moving further forward, they surrounded the house from three sides, the Captain waited for a few seconds, before he nodded. "Okay boys, thats how it goes."

Both Sergeants stayed quiet, listening to their Captains orders.

"Gaz, you take the first house. Soap, you the second. Ill be watching from here in case of any unwanted guests. Got it?" "Yes, Sir!" Both answered and made their way to their warehouses.

Soap was quiet, breaking into the house through the window, his gun raised. No one was there, just a few containers. "Gaz?" "All good here." "Soap?" "Here too." Price sighed silently, he would check in in a few minutes again.

Johnny silently moved further in, he had already took of the gear that was hidding him, since that would make to much sound.

He checked out ever place, before he went to crack open the first container. Soaps eyes widen. "Missiles. American missiles." "Please repeat, Soap." Price voice sounded suprised, american once? With Makarov?!

Suddenly, something pressed against the Sergeants head, the cold feeling of a gun made his throat thighten. "Yeah Soap, why dont you repeat it?"

Pure hatred and anger rose through Johnnys body the moment he heared that voice. "Graves, you bastard." He growled and wanted to raise his own gun, but it got snatched out of his hand.

"I wouldnt do that Johnny-boy. You have found the missles, but not the bomb. Make a damn move and I blow it up. I know your friends are close." Graves laughed with his nod the few Shadows close to him started to strip Soap of all his weapons.

"Soap, repeat again." Price asked through coms after Soap hadnt answered the first time. But again nothing.

Graves threw the radio to the ground and crunched it to pieces under his boot. "Now, be a good boy Johnny and walk with me. But remeber, one wron move, one stupid thought and... boom."

Soap hissed angry, he wanted to rip him apart, to beat that disgusting piece of human trash to a bloody pulp and make him regret ever laying a hand onto his partner.

But Johnny knew that if he didnt want this place to blow up or at least not to lose his brain to the ground, that he should co-operate.

"Fine." He almost barked out and raised his hands, following the direction to where he was lead, the gun pointed to his head for the whole time.

"Thats a good boy, move to the red container. Open it." Graves grinned, everything was according to plan.

Soap stepped into the container, watching how the Shadows pulled away a plate on the ground to reveal stairs that went down into a tunnel.

"You are working with Makarov, arent you? A terrorist." Graves shrugged, leading the Sergeant down into the tunnel. It didnt take long until they were back on the overworld, the few missles had been brought out too.

It was a bit away from the warehouses, hidden. Graves pushed him into the car. "He pays good. Now, say good bye to your friends. Blew it up."

Johnny turned around with big eyes, gasping as he heared the loud explosion. The warehouse had blown up. "No..." He breathed out, his body trembling in shock. While the car started driving, he couldnt look away from the flames.

Gaz... Price... Oh no...

Chapter Text

Simon was caught in a fight or flight moment. He wanted to fight, to knock this man out who bad broken into his house.

But his body didn't move, especially not when he stood with his back to a bed and had no way to flee.

The man looked down to his pleased smile went over his face. "So Simon, I have just gotten great news."

He turned the phone screen to him, a picture of Soap on it, a blindfold over his eyes and his hands and legs were cuffed.

Simons eyes widen, he looked from the screen up to the man. It made klick in his mind.

"Makarov." How was this possible? This man was the one from the bar, who had kissed him and tried to sleep with him.

A higher tension went through his body when he remembered. "Dont you dare." Simon hissed.

Makarov rolled his eyes, before he put his phone away and crossed his arms.

"And who's going stop me? You?" A cruel mocking laugh left his lips. "Surely not! Look at you, you're shaking. You know what's going to happen and you're not even trying to escape or fight."

Simon flinched when Makarov suddenly kick against his chest, making him stumbled backwards and fall onto the bed.

He landed on his back, his right wrist was grabbed and he felt a hit land on his jaw.

"No fight, you're weak." Makarov taunted, taking a swing and landing his fist against the blonds face again.

Simon shuddered, finnaly snapping out of his trance, he stopped the next punch from landing, but the one after hit him again.

"Struggle all you want weakling. I have to say one word and your lovely Soap is dead. Still want to fight against me?"

Makarov scoffed when the soldier under him instantly stopped moving, shaking his head, he let his fist meet his chest a few times.

Simons air got knocked out of his lungs, he pressed his eyes close and gasped. Groaning in pain, his senses grew high alert as he heared the sound of a zipper.

He knew it...

At this point it didnt even surprise him anymore, if Graves and Makarov were working together and Makarov even tried to get into his pants before... this didn't surprise him.

"Hold still and this will be over fast." The terrorist said coldly, grabbed him and rolled him onto his stomach.

He hoped that the blond man wouldn't hold still, show any form of reaction.

He carelessly tugged his pants and boxershorts down and chuckled at the word scars he saw peaking from under the shirt.

With an amused smile he pushed the shirt up and laughed. "Graves is really obsessed with you, oh my God. That hilarious."

Simon clenched his jaw, he knew Makarov was talking about his in the form of the words that had been carved into his back.

Both his wrists got pressed down next to his head, he felt the man lean over him and... and-

His mind dissociated.

Makarov scoffed, feeling Simon grow limb under him. Which didn't stop him from forcing his dick into him.

.

Soap sat with his legs crossed on the small bench, a blindfold still over his eyes.

He couldn't see, that's why he sat still and didn't move. He wouldn't make any sound like that and could at least listen.

Hours had passed, Graves had thrown him into here, made fun of him and took a picture before he left.

Johnny swallowed, his throat was dry and hurted. For the last hours he had forced himself to stay calm, to not think about that Gaz and Price might have been blown up.

And that Simon might have been in trouble.

Suddenly he heared loud footsteps, heavy once and how something got dragged over the ground.

The door got unlocked and something got thrown into the room. Soap tensed, listening to the deeper breaths.

"To lovers finnaly together again. How romantic." Graves laughed. "We'll get to the two of you later." That was Makarov.

Johnny felt his own breath pick up, what did Graves mean? Was Simon here?

"Simon?" He asked into the dark of his blindfold, struggling a bit against it. Soap tried to get it off with the help of the wall and his shoulders.

"Simon, are you here?" There was an answer, a small groan. And it did sound just like his partner.

Simon groaned again, his consciousness slipping and coming back in waves.

Pain shot through his downer side, his chest and his face. He opened his eyes, at least it wasn't too bright in here.

"Simon?" Soap heared how the person in the room hissed while they sat up.

Suddenly, something was tugging on his blindfold and pulling it off.

Johnny blinked, his eyes widen when he saw him. Empty eyes that avoided his own, messy clothes and blood was on his mask.

"Hey, Si. What- Are you okay?" He asked carefully and swallowed, shifting from the bench and crouching down onto his knees in front of him.

The blond stared to the ground, slowly shaking his head. He wasn't okay, but he didn't want to talk about it.

He sniffled and moved to open the rope around his partners wrists, the moment the hands were free, Johnny pulled him against his chest.

"I'm so sorry." The Sergeant whispered, he regretted it deeply. "We should have never get back into action so soon."

Simon grabbed into the shirt of his partner, his fingers clenching into the fabric so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Makarov he..." The blond started but couldn't speak it out. Instead he said something else. "He's the one from the bar."

Johnnys eyes widen before he closed them. "They were after us for the whole time? Oh my God..."

Running his hand through the blond curles, he pressed his head against his own chest.

There were no words. Soap figured what Makarov did, the signs were to obvious.

And the fact that the Captain and Sergeant might have gotten blown up. "I'm sorry."

Simon closed his eyes, listening to the heartbeat that was far from being calm.

He was captured... again.

Graves was here.

But Johnny too and this was far worse. He didnt want his partner to be in the same situation he had been in before.

Fearful, his hands clenched harder into the shirt. "Dont let him touch you. Please... don't let him-"

Soaps heart broke. Simon wasn't asking for his own protection, no. He was beging him to save himself.

"It's gonna be okay." It wouldn't.

If Gaz and Price really were dead, then there wouldn't be anyone to come and save them.

They were fucked.

"Simon-' He started but didn't brought it over his heart to say what he wanted to say.

The blond could hear the hesitation, the pain in his partners voice.

"Nevermind... just- just stay strong. Okay?" Soap sounded so hopeless, it almost brought tears to his eyes.

"I-Ill try." He answered and gulped. Makarov had hurt him, when he moved he winced.

Johnny instantly but carefully placed a hand onto his lovers cheek, the skin under the mask was warm, as if it was working against an injury.

"Let me take a look?" The question was asked a bit urgently, the Sergeant couldn't stand seeing Simon hurt.

The blond froze for a second, closed his eyes and nodded. After a few seconds he whispered a weak "Okay."

Ans only then his mask got pulled off softly. A swollen cheek, blood nose and split lip. "Did he-" Soap had no words.

How could he even asked such a thing?

"Did he hurt you... e-else where?" Simons eyes filled with tears, it was a dark question, the real implication was clear.

He didn't want to lie to him, even though saying the truth would hurt to much.

That's why Simon just nodded, staring off to the ground. Johnnys heart broke.

"H-hey, let me get you to the bench, alright? I-Its okay... it's not your fault." Wrappimg his arms under his lovers arms, he lifted him up.

Keeping most weight on him, Soap made sure to get him to the bench, sitting him down as far away from the door as possible.

Simon grimaced when he sat down, pain shot through his behind, his ribs hadn't stopped hurting.

For this moment, he let himself be. Let himself feel and be comforted. Johnny pulled his head against his chest, pushed him into a saver position and caressed through his hair.

"I'm here. Close your eyes, listen to my voice. You're not at fault. That bastard is the disgusting one. I love you, I love you so much."

Slowly, even if it was just a tiny bit, Soap felt Simons shoulders relax. At least he allowed himself to feel, the therapy sessions did work.

This moment was destroyed from the door that got kicked open, in came the person that Johnny hated the most.

Graves.

Simon flinched, looked up and flinched harder. A tiny fearful whine left his throat. This was the first time he had seen him again... His torturer and rapist...

Chapter Text

Soap instantly stood up, shoving himself infront of Simon in order to shield him from that bastard. A hand held backwards to be a bit of calm, a bit of comfort for him.

"Graves, you fucking prick. Stay the fuck back." The Sergeant hissed, his eyes filled with hate and anger, but also a bit of fear.

"Aww, Soap. You arent very nice to me, its not very smart of you. To bite the hand thats gonna feed you." Graves grinned, leaning a bit sideways to look at the blond.

"Hey, baby. Makarov had his fun, as I see. But dont worry, he wont touch you anymore. But I will." Simons breath was faster, scared of the man that stood at the door.

"No you wont." Johnny hissed back, his eyes narrowed, body tense. "I wont let you-" He was cut off by Graves pulling out a gun.

"I wont? I surley will. Its just about if the two of you will stay obedient or not. Be nice and you will survive. Be a bitch and I kill you like one." Slowly, the leader of the Shadows came closer.

"I wont-" "Its okay..." Simon whispered and grabbed his partners hand, he didnt want that, by he definitely didnt want Johnny to die.

"Simon, no." Soap instantly said and shook his head. He swallowed before he turned fully back to Graves. "Take me, not him. Please."

Laughing, Graves shook his head. "No, youre not my type MacTavish, I like my toys blond and afraid." Raising the gun to Soaps head he nodded to the side. "Its your decision Simon, your ass or Johnnys head."

The Sergeant squeezed his partners hand, shaking his head again. "You dont have to do this... I will gladly die to keep you safe."

Simon gulped, tears rolling town his cheeks, but he stood up. "No, you have to stay alive. Just... just hold my hand?" It was a dire situation.

Graves grinned and nodded, taking the chains that were handing on the wall and nodding over to Soap. "You can hold him, I let you hold him. But only chained up."

Johnny growled, but he nodded. Graves put the chain around his neck, making Soap unable to move much without chooking himself.

He then pressed Simon against the Sergeants chest, before he kneeled down between the legs and opened his belt.

Simon was tense, breathing heavily and crying silently, while he watched with teary eyes how Graves opened his zipper and pulled his pants down, before he grabbed onto Simons pants.

Johnny wrapped his arms around his partner, burying his face in the blond curls and whispering quietly. "Im so sorry. Si, I-I... Its okay... Im here."

His own eyes burned with tears, his heart beating heavily in his chest. He was having a breakdown, his lover was getting raped... in his arms.

Graves felt himself become rock hard from both mans reactions. The fear and pain in Simons eyes, the hate and guilt in Soaps, how both were clinging to eachother.

"Ah fuck, you are making me go feral." He groaned, pulling down the boxershorts with urgency and grabbing harshly onto Simons hips. Without any hesitation, just a small smirk from seeing the remains of Makarov, he forced himself inside.

Johnny shuddered from Simons pained cry, he wrapped his arms around him tighter, burying his face deeper into his hair and keeping his eyes shut close.

He could feel it, how his lovers body got pulled and pushed, pressed up against him with every thrust. Those sounds, the moans and groans... and the cries.

Soap felt his stomach turn. He wanted to throw up, to kill Graves, grab Simon and simply run. He should have never went back into combat so soon. "Im so sorry."

Simon tried to keep his noises down, his cheeks were burning red, he was ashamed and disgusted.

Never had he believed to be in such a situation, not even after what Graves had done to him the last time.

To be held by his lover, seen by his lover while he got-

"Fuck, you're just as good as before. Taking me so good." Graves moaned, leaning forward and nibbling in the blonds neck.

Soap sobbed, he knew better than to try and shove the head away, even of he could. Making Graves angry while he was still inside-

It wasn't smart. It would do more harm than good.

Still, he knew from the therapy sessions that Graves had talked and acted like that.

But witnessing this first hand was so much more disgusting, so much worse.

Graves bite into the skin, moaning against it, before he pressed himself completely against the man under him, his tongue against the neck, while he climaxed.

"Oh fuck... such a good toy. You're so fucking perfect for me." His voice showed in what type of bliss he was.

Ridding out his orgasm, Graves grip on Simons hip loosened and he stopped moving.

Soap hoped this was over, ao he could hold his partner and comfort him, somehow get him away from that monster.

But Simon knew better. Graves wasnt done with him yet, he would keep going and he did.

Graves pulled his hips back and made a hard thrust back in, groaning at the sensation. He didnt stop his movements nor his moans, not even while Makarov stepped inside.

The terrorist raised his eyebrows and scoffed, shaking his head. "You really are humping like a dog, Graves. This guy had you going primal?"

"Shut up." Graves grumbled, which made Makarov laugh out loud, he crossed his arms, not bothered by watching. "I got a question."

Soap and Simon both were overwhelmend, here they way, having Graves doing disgusting things to the blond, while Makarov simply made small talk?

"I need a few men of yours, might give me some? Theyll come back just fine." Graves stopped his movements, making sure to keep himself buried deep inside of Simon, while he looked at the terrorist.

"And what am I getting out of that?" "A nice idea." Makarov answered with a grin and tilted his head, almost daring. Graves thought for a second and then smiled.

"Okay, Im in. You get 10 of my men. Now, whats the nice idea?" Makarov nodded over to Johnny. "Make him join. You know how I mean it."

Soap opend his eyes, taking in a small gasp. "No..." His voice was pleading, getting involved like this would mean he would have to rape-

"No, please. Dont do this." Both Graves and Makarov smilled at that. "See? Now have your fun, Ill go do some buisness."

While Makarov made his way back out, Soap didnt stop begging. Which turned Graves on, he grined, looked back to the two of them and raised the gun. "I will do this. Come on, sweetheart. He can take us both at once."

Johnny shook his head, pleeding teary eyes looking up, pressing Simon against his chest who kept his eyes closed and his fingers clenched into his partners arms. "No, please please please. Anything but this!"

Graves moaned, the scene was to hot for him, he put the gun to the blonds head and his finger onto the trigger. "Do it. Or Ill end his life and still fuck him as long as hes still warm!"

Soap sobbed, shaking his head, unable to think, to speak, to even breath. How could he-?! How would he be able to ever look into the mirror and not see a rapist?!

But Simon wasnt allowed to die! "Please, Graves..." The leader of the Shadows grinned. "Your choice, Soapy-boy." He watched the Seargent break down, crying and begging him.

Simon seemed out of it, like he was preparing himself mentaly. With a loud sound, Graves pulled out, watching the cum from before drip down.

"Here, you can even go in first. I have already streched him out for you." Graves hummed as if he was doing Soap a favor. While he kept one hand on the gun, the other went under Simon and to the Sergeants pants, opening them.

Soap flinched, clenching his arms around his lover a bit harder, but being unable to react otherwise. "No... no... please..." He was powerless, to scared to move and lose his partner, but the thought about hurting Simon like that, raping him-

His body didnt move at all, which Graves took to his advantage. He smirked while tugging at the pants, wrapping a hand around Johnnys cock and stroking it a bit until he slowly went hard. Then he pushed Simon up, his hips over Soaps.

"Im sorry, Im so sorry!" The Sergeant cried, while Graves lowered Simon onto Soaps dick. Simon whimpered, being filled again and that by- by- Johnny? In such a situation?

He wanted to disappear. To close his eyes and never have to open them again. He could heal his partner crying, whispering how sorry he was, feel him inside of himself.

While Graves only watched and salivated from the picture infront of him. "Oh yes, fuck, yes! How does it feel? Getting raped by your lover, huh?"

He moaned and grabbed the shacking hips, looking at Simons face and pulling off his mask, before he slowly forced himself into the same hole too.

"Ah! Wait- w-ait! Its to much- I-I-" Simon gasped and whined in pain, trying to move away from the ripping pain that was tearing him down there.

"Please, Graves- We cant do this- You are hurting him! Please!?" Soap begged, feeling Graves dick meet his own inside of his lover which was a feeling he would always remeber. And always hate.

He was a rapist.

He was raping his partner, his love.

While Simon was almost screaming in pain, by having two cocks forced into him. Pressing his back against Johnnys chest, trying to seek any form of comfort. Even if it was to little that he got...

Chapter Text

The silence was deafening.

Simon -who had passed out at one point- was laying on the ground, covered with Soaps shirt.

After Graves left, Johnny had tried to clean and dress him, he was to afraid to do more damage than good.

He was sitting in the other corner, hugging himself, his nails ripped into his biceps.

Soap hated himself, the urge to throw himself infront of a bus had never been so big.

How could that happen? He had just raped his lover?! What typ of monster was he?!

There weren't any words in the world to describe his current state of mind. A mixture of pure rage, self hate, a deep sadness paired with agony and nothing at all.

There was blood.

On the ground, on his own shirt and pants and on Simons boxershorts. There even had been blood on his-

Soap flinched at the small knock on the door, his body tensed further and his wide, bloodshot eyes settled on the door.

"Boys? You in there?" Price! That was Price!

Tears wheeled up in the Sergeants eyes. With a quick push, he stumbled to his feet and hurried to the door.

"Price? Is that you? Are you really... alive?" The Captain heared Johnnys voice and had to take a short second to comprehend the sheer amount of raw emotions behind it.

"Yes, you were gone for a while. It smelled fishy and Gaz and I run. We escaped the explosion, I swear I could feel it burn up my ass." Price joked, which did the opposite to Soap.

Instead of lighting is mood or making him chuckle, he groaned out, took a small look at his unconscious partner and clenched his hand.

"Please, Sir. Get us out of here. Please..." He sounded defeated. "Of course, step back." A few moments later the door was slowly opened, careful to not make to loud sounds.

Both Gaz and Price paled a bit when they saw the conditions of their teammates, their friends.

"Son, what- what happened?" "Fuck, Soap..." Gaz breathed out, swallowing hard, as be saw the face of the usual happy and laughing Sergeant.

"Just... just get us out of here." He whispered, not able to say what had happened here. He couldn't. He would throw up from that.

"Of course, son." Price nodded, feeling his stomach turn when he looked over to Simon, who slowly woke up from the voices.

The blonds eyes were void, no, dead. He looked up at the three and didn't utter a word, he simply stared.

Johnny looked down, not able to look into his partners eyes. Swallowing he walked over to him. "Si-"

His voice broke, Gaz groaned silently, cussing. This wasn't a fight or a war anymore, this was hell.

"Let's get out of here. Can you walk?" Price asked and regretted the question in the same moment as he saw Soap flinch.

But Simon simply shrugged, slowly rising to his feet, before his knees almost gave out -not to mention the other, worse type of pain-

Johnny gasped, instantly wrapping his arm around him to help him stand. It was an unintentional action, to catch his lover.

He didn't want to touch him, he would only hurt him more. Simon must hate him!

"Let me help... I help you out and... and won't touch you anymore afterwards." He whispered which got him no response.

Price and Gaz exchange a glance, first priority was to get them out of here. But the Captain damn well had already planned to get the two of them medical help and therapy as soon as possible.

"Okay, try to stay quiet. The Captain and I do the rest." The Sergeant sound calmly, grabbing his gun harder.

The way out was slow. Despite Soaps help, Simon was stumbling and almost collapsing the whole time.

Johnny couldn't understand how he wasn't making any sound of pain, after what happened. Maybe he was so dissociated that he didn't really felt it?

Every time they had to hide from Makarovs or Graves men, the amount of tension was almost unbearable.

Then finnaly, after 15 agonising minutes, they were out. A truck was parked outside, hidden by bigger branches and sticks.

Gaz opened the car, while Price pushed the leaves and branches out of the way.

"Get in, go, go." Peice hurried, but they didn't came far.

"No, you won't!" Graves. He was breathing a bit faster, the Shadow had run here.

The 141 men got startled, before the bullet could hit the Captain, Gaz pushed him out of the way.

Both rolled over the ground, Graves shot again. Almost hitting them, if Price hadn't pulled Gaz with him behind the trees.

"Simon, you're coming back home with me-" Johnny didn't let Graves finish his sentence or pull the trigger again.

He jumped forward, kicked the gun out of the Shadows hands, grabbed his shirt and let his fist collide with his jaw.

Simons knees couldn't carry him, when Soap let go of him to tackle Graves, he stumbled and fell to the ground.

Unable to do much, he watched how his lover beat up Graves... his rapist. The hits didn't seem to stop, Johnny punched and punched. "You fucking monster!"

In every hit was so much hate, they only seemed to become harder with every hit.

Price and Gaz both were stunned, not even Captain had ever seen Soap in such a state.

Not that they couldn't understand, Graves did more than deserve it. A proud smile fell over Price lips, while Graves blood covered Soaps knuckles.

Johnny didn't feel any other emotion but hate. His body was full of adrenaline, his exhaustion, trauma and self hate forgotten.

The only thing in his head right now was to kill this monster, this bastard who had violated his lover way to often. Who dared to hurt his reason to live and smile.

The anger slowly disappeared, seeing Graves laying under him, all bloody and beat up was satisfying.

That bastard was probably bleeding out, the bones in his face broken. Breathing heavily, Johnny stood up.

He took the gun from the Shadow and pointed it down. Simon heared the trigger getting pulled and watched a mix of blood and brain run out of Graves head.

His eyes widen. "Johnny...?" He breathed out, something was wrong! Something was horribly wrong?!

Soaps body dropped, he fell backwards and landed onto his back.

Price was out of his hideout and by the Sergeants side in a matter of a second. Falling down to his knees, shaking him.

"No, no, no! Soap! Soap, come on, son!" Gaz slowly crouched down next to the Captain, his eyes wide while he saw the wound on his friends head.

The blond on the other hand couldn't believe it, what had just happen? Johnny had beaten up and killed Graves.

But the moment he had shot him, he got shot himself. That meant... the shooter was still out there!

Simon stumbled to his feet, grabbed the gun from Johnnys hands and made his way to the trees from where the shower must've been.

"Ghost, wait!" Gaz yelled after him, raising up and running after him. How could the Lieutenant even walk in such a condition?

"Ghost!" Gaz yelled again, he had lost sight on him, the trees were standing to close to eachother.

The klick of a gun getting hocked was heard, with a small flinch he turned around, his eyes meet Makarovs and seconds later he felt the gun against his forehead.

The shot rang through the woods. Price looked into the direction from where it came. "No..." He breathed out.

He couldn't lose another one.

Bang!

Again, this shot made him flinch harder and grab his own weapon. Two shots meant... both Ghost and Gaz?

Did he just lose his whole team?!

Hissing to himself, the tension felt way to high for him. The shuffling of feet came closer, his eyes locked on the position.

When he saw the silhouette, he got ready to fire. Thank God he didn't! "Simon.... Garrick..." He breathed out.

Gaz nodded, swallowing hard. "Makarov is dead." He announced and looked over to the blond who limped to his partner.

"Ghost made sure of it." Gaz added, when Makarov had held the gun to his head, Simon had shot him down. Making sure to finish the job with a second bullet.

"That's good..." Price mumbled, before he snapped back into full reality.

"Get in the car, Simon front. Gaz, take Soap and take care of the bleeding, we still have a pulse!" He ordered.

Simons instantly checked it, pressing his fingers onto his lovers neck and feeling the weak but existing pulse.

There still was a chance...

In no time, all three of them moved. Working together and following directly the order to save Johnnys life.

The situation was a matter of seconds, ever single one counted. A shot to the head was more than deadly. That Soap was still alive was a miracle.

Leaving the dead bodies of Graves and Makarov behind, they drove back to the closest save point. Medics were already informed.

Soap got rushed into the operation room, the moment the doors closed, Simon collapsed.

It was to much, his adrenaline and worry had kept him running until now.

Price and Gaz managed to catch him before he hit the ground, nurses were instantly at his side.

.

A groan left his lips, the beeping sound was hurting in his head and the light was way to bright when he opened his eyes.

"Hey..." That was a weak but warm sound, a voice full of love.

Johnny slowly opened his eyes, looking around confused before his gaze fell on the man next to him.

Simon was sitting on a chair next to his bed, holding his hand with both of his own.

"Hey..." He breathed weakly, coughing afterwards. His lips and throat were dry.

"Careful, take it slow. You just woke up." The blond reached for a cup of water and helped him drink a sip.

"What... how long...?" The Sergeant mumbled confused, his head was hurting, but he needed to know what had happened.

"You were out for four days, Johnny. They were able to get the bullet out of your head, it luckily didn't reach your brain. Only grazed under the surface of your skin."

Soap groaned and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. "Bullet? Head?"

Simon sighed. "Yes, you got shot. The moment you had killed Graves... Makarov had shot you. But dont worry, he's dead now."

Graves, Makarov. Right. Johnny remember now. The memories flew back, despite his headache, he opened his eyes and pulled his hand away from Simon.

"Dont touch me..." He mumbled and turned his face to the other side. "Why are you here? You must hate me... you- ... you shouldn't have to touch me..."

Simon was stunned at those words, he stood up from the chair, his eyes flickering over the weakened body of his partner.

"Johnny, what? What are you talking about? Why would I hate you?" Tears burned in his eyes, the last days had been to dark for him.

"Because I- ... Graves made me- ... I r-" "No!" Simon snapped at him, leaning forward and grabbing his hand again.

"No. Don't you dare say that! Don't you dare think that!" His fingers clenched into Soaps.

"I love you. You didn't- You had no choice. Don't say that you-" The blond stuttered, he didn't want to hear the words. Because they weren't true and would only disgust him.

"When I saw you fall, laying on the ground like that. I thought you died. I didn't fucking care about what had happened between Graves and us. Because it didn't fucking matter!"

Johnny simply listened, he didn't want to interrupt his partner, especially not in such a heavy topic.

"If you would have been dead, I would've been dead too. No matter what happened or will happen. I can't live without you."

Simon looked at him for a few seconds, still seeing the doubt and selfhate in Johnnys eyes.

"Fucking hell, I don't care that I got raped! I doesn't fucking matter how often I got raped! I doesn't matter who it was! I don't care!" The blond was almost yelling, tears slowly dripped down his cheeks.

"I wouldn't kill myself over that, jot as long as I have you. I'd rather live through all of that again than lose you."

Soap was stunned, both from the language used and the meaning behind those words.

"So please... please! Don't blame yourself, don't hate yourself! Don't you dare think bad about yourself. We can go through that together! We can fix that, we can-"

Simons voice broke and he had to take a deep breath. "No matter what, we get through it. Together. Okay? No matter what. We have eachother. Do you understand?"

Johnny swallowed, he hadn't even realised that he was crying himself. The sheer love and desperation behind Simons words was more than obvious.

Nodding he moved his hand to the blonds, hesitating. In his mind, touching him was like hurting him, violating him.

But he grabbed and squeezed his hand after a few seconds, nodding again. "Together, no matter what. We- we have eachother."

Simon nodded too, leaning over him to hug him carefully. "I'm so sorry, Si. But you are right... we'll get through it. I love you-"

This time, he was interrupted by his lovers lips. Simon kissed him, softly but with all of his love.

It had been months since they last kissed, it had been the day before Graves betrayal.

This right now, was pure love. An act that was free of all trauma and pain of the world.

Twisted, one sided love could break a person. Ruine lives. And poison those who truly loved eachother.

But real love could heal. Help the person back up onto their feet. And get the loved once through the darkest of times.

So even after all that hell, all that hate, trauma, self hate, disgust and nightmares. Even after all of that Johnny and Simon stayed together.

Stayed at eachothers side to hold the other up when they couldn't stand alone.

And eventually, both healed. It took time, a lot of time. Maybe the damage could never get repaired fully.

But that didn't matter. Because they had eachother. No matter how slow amd nasty the recovery was. They went through it together.

Love was dangerous, love could hurt and destroy for the wrong reasons.

But love could heal too.