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Chapter Text

It was nothing short of a miracle that you’d made it through the day.

Two days ago, you’d started feeling a light scratching at the back of your throat, your nose would spontaneously run now and then, and perhaps a headache was building. Nothing you couldn’t fix with a little bit more rest and copious amounts of tea.

Nevertheless, despite how mild it had seemed, you had taken to avoiding the staff room you typically went to every night, where you’d share the evening with Severus Snape. As odd as it may have seemed to you at first, over the past three years of your teaching at Hogwarts, you and Severus had grown…not close, necessarily, but closer. What began as an occasional evening every few weeks spent together in the most isolated staff room, a place you both had gravitated towards as introverts, had morphed into nearly nightly visits. 

And god help you, somewhere along the way, you’d fallen for him.

As it turned out, the coldness and standoffish-attitude he assumed was mainly a mask, covering for his own insecurity, awkwardness, and overall lack of social skills. Plus, even if it was deep down, you could tell that he cared for some people, and you were lucky enough to be counted in that (very) small circle. Initially drawn to him for his intellect, you had been slightly surprised to find that there was kindness in him after all.

It was just the little things. The way those ebony eyes focused so intently on you when you spoke, as if you were the only person in the world. Once, you’d complained about the mountains of student work you’d had to look over, and without a word he’d reached for a stack and begun grading it. And when you’d been new to teaching at Hogwarts and knew no one, dreading mealtimes as if you were a teenager again because of how obviously alone you were, he hadn’t hesitated to sit beside you.

Some nights in the staff room, you talked, and you treasured the rare moments you made him smile, or the even rarer moments you made him laugh. Sometimes you simply sat in companionable silence, grading essays or drawing up lesson plans. For you, it didn’t matter, because just being in his presence was enough. You felt safe. You felt at peace.

And if sometimes, your chest ached with longing for him, or you cried at night because you knew he would never feel the same, well…that was your business. He was a drug you could never get enough of, no matter how much it hurt.

But all of that was the reason that you’d kept to yourself these past few days. Partly because you would’ve hated to get him sick, no matter how slightly. But also partly because if he saw you at your most vulnerable and he was disgusted with you, you didn’t think your heart would be able to take the blow.

It ended up being for the best, anyway, because today, nothing about the way you felt was mild. Your throat burned with every swallow, and you’d developed a deep, chesty cough. You alternated between blazing hot and shivering cold, the fluctuations so extreme they made you feel dizzy and weak. It had taken every ounce of your strength to get through teaching today, and now you were about ready to collapse at your desk. There would be no chance of you making it all the way to the Great Hall for supper. You hadn’t eaten all day, but you were so unhungry it didn’t bother you in the slightest.

You were just gathering up your papers, telling yourself you could retreat to your quarters if you did at least two hours of work tonight, when you heard a soft knock on your office door.

Assuming it must be a student, you cleared your throat before calling out, as loudly as you could manage in your hoarse voice, “Come in!”

To your shock and mild horror, in swept Severus, his trademark black robes billowing behind him. He crossed your small office in three large strides, unceremoniously depositing a plate of food onto the desk in front of you.

“Since you’ve missed all scheduled mealtimes today,” he murmured, eyebrow arching slightly in question and gaze piercing.

You couldn’t help it, you beamed at him. Your traitorous, traitorous heart was fluttering with happiness. “Severus! Thank you so much, you didn’t need to do that.”

He said nothing, merely kept watching you, waiting for an explanation you didn’t have.

“I’ve just…been very busy, as of late,” you said, hoping he couldn’t hear the roughness tingeing the edges of your voice. “Almost the end of the term, you know how it is.”

“Is that also why you’ve been unavailable the past few evenings?” he asked.

“Yes!” you nodded vigorously, ignoring the way it made your head swim and hoping he was buying it. “I wanted to come, but there was just so much to do.”

He narrowed his eyes. “That is not something that has ever stopped you before.”

That…was true. 

“Although,” he added, stalking another step closer, “you do look unusually…tired.”

You burst out laughing, knowing that was his way of telling you that you looked like shit. Unfortunately, laughter was too much for your lungs in their delicate state, and a flurry of wet, heavy coughs exploded out after it. Panic and shame flooded through you as the fit subsided, and when you looked up again, you half-expected Severus to have fled. Why wouldn’t he? You were disgusting.

To your surprise, though, he was right beside you, crouched down so that you were nearly eye level.

“And the truth comes out at last,” he said, his expression a stern frown but his voice so soft you shivered. He pressed the back of his hand to your forehead, his fingers cool against your overheated skin. “A fever. You’re ill.”

For an instant, you wondered if you were completely delirious. Was this really happening? 

You blushed deeply, averting your gaze. “Of course not, I’m fine. Maybe a tad under the weather.” 

You reached up to take his hand from where it had been lingering against your cheek, only to find your body telling on you in a new way. The same hand that had felt so cool against your brow was delightfully warm against your own icy fingers. 

Severus frowned even more deeply, capturing your frigid hand and holding it between both of his warm ones. “Come, you shouldn’t be working in a state such as this, you must rest.” He stood up, gently pulling you to your feet as well.

You opened your mouth to reply, but were instead cut off by another round of vicious coughing. You hurried to turn as far away from Severus as possible, burying your face in your sleeve. The fit hurt, leaving you breathless and dizzy in the aftermath, black dots swimming across your vision as you swayed.

He still hadn’t released your hand, and instead pulled you closer, steadying you. “I really don’t like the sound of that, (Y/N).” His voice was tight with worry, and it made your insides melt.

Keeping one arm around your waist, he did finally let go of your hand, grabbing the plate of food he’d brought back off your desk as he guided you out of your office. But instead of turning right, to begin the long walk back to your quarters, he turned left, to go deeper into the castle. You looked at him questioningly.

“My quarters are closer,” he said simply. But were you imagining it, or was he blushing slightly? “And I have several potions for you.”

“Sev, no, I don’t want to intrude,” you protested, your voice a wreck. You cleared your throat, wincing. “And I don’t want to give you this.”

He cocked an eyebrow at you. “Finally admitting it’s worse than ‘just under the weather’?”

You ducked your head and shrugged, smiling helplessly up at him. 

A ghost of a smile played on his lips as he rolled his eyes at you. “It's of little consequence. If you’ll permit me, I would like to examine you. I’m guessing you have not gone to Madame Pomfrey.” 

His onyx eyes met yours, confirming the validity of his last statement, and you shook your head. He sighed, seeming to barely refrain from rolling his eyes a second time.

“You ought to take better care of yourself,” he admonished. Even though he was scolding you, his face was soft with barely-hidden concern, and your insides grew warm again.

“I thought it would pass, honestly,” you admitted. A cool draft cut straight through you, and you shivered again. You felt Severus tighten his arm around you slightly, and you blushed.

Thankfully, you had finally made it to his quarters. He ushered you in to a surprisingly cozy living room, where he guided you towards the couch. After setting the plate down on his nearby kitchen table, with a flick of his wand, the fireplace roared to life.

“I’m going to run a diagnostic spell,” he said assertively, but paused, giving you time to withdraw consent if you so chose. 

You waved your hand dismissively, granting permission, and curled up against the arm of the couch. The short walk had taken more out of you than you wanted to admit, and you were relieved to finally sit. 

You felt as the spell scanned lightly through you. Severus took the printout, and as he looked through it, you watched as his frown turned into an outright scowl. 

“For Merlin’s sake, you have pneumonia!” he exclaimed, dark eyes flashing.

“Surely not, Severus,” you protested weakly.

He glared at you. “Surely yes, (Y/N). Fatigue, loss of appetite, rattling cough, fever of 38.5…!” He trailed off as he pressed his hand to your forehead again, as if he needed to check for himself. 

You felt your cheeks burn in a way that had nothing to do with your fever. In the past half an hour he had touched you more than he had in three years, and it was making your head spin. You closed your eyes against the dizziness, leaning in to his fingers before you could stop yourself.

You heard him sigh. When he spoke again, his tone was gentler. “Are you in pain anywhere?”

You were in pain everywhere, it seemed. You gave a noncommittal shrug.

“Where, specifically?” he asked, teeth gritted, clearly digging deep within himself for patience. 

You couldn’t help but smile a little at that. “My head, my throat a bit. My chest. I don’t know, really, my whole body aches.”

His hands twitched, as if to reach for you again, before he pulled back, clasping them together. He was still frowning deeply at you, concern etched in every line of his face. “I’ll be right back, I have some potions that will help.”

Severus turned and swept from the room, and you felt the loss of his presence. Despite the fire he’d lit, it was cold in the stone room, and you shivered hard, crossing your arms across your chest. In truth, you were rapidly feeling progressively worse, and you were so grateful he had come for you when he did. For just a moment, you rested your head against the couch’s armrest, eyes slipping shut.

He was back too quickly, startling you. Those pitch-black eyes you loved looking at so much were filled with storm clouds, angry and restless. But right beneath that anger was the worry, so endlessly deep you could almost drown in it. You almost wanted to.

Instead, you were drowning in your own lungs. You launched into another miserable string of coughs, pressing your spare hand to your chest because it hurt.

To your surprise, you felt Severus’s hand on your back, rubbing firmly. The motion was soothing and helped the fit subside, but afterwards, breathing was difficult, each breath more of a wheeze.

“Take these,” he said, handing you one potion at a time from the array he’d placed on the nearby coffee table. He watched you closely as you drank them, his face pinched and drawn with concern.

When you’d finished, he just stood there, looking at you with an intensity that made you want to squirm. After what seemed like an eternity, he simply said, “Come with me.”

Your body screamed its complaints as you slowly uncurled yourself, muscles aching all the way into the bone. Thankfully, as if sensing it, Severus took your arm and helped you heave yourself up, and you leaned gratefully into him. You felt him stiffen slightly beneath you, but he didn’t pull away, just wrapped his arm around you again and guided you out of the living room. Right to the…bedroom?

You looked up at him, confused. It was dark, but you could’ve sworn he was blushing. 

“You can rest here. I’ll be just outside if you need anything,” he said, not meeting your eyes as he helped you to the bed.

“I can’t sleep here! Where will you sleep?” you protested, your voice rough. You coughed into your sleeve, relieved when it didn’t turn into another fit.

“On the couch, obviously,” Severus replied, something of a smirk on his lips.

You glared at him. “No! Absolutely not, Sev, this is ridiculous. I’ve inconvenienced you enough. I’m perfectly capable of taking the Floo back to my rooms.” 

You made to stand up again, your muscles shaking from the exertion, but he simply rolled his eyes and gently pushed you back down. “I wouldn’t trust you to levitate a feather in this state, let alone use the Floo network. Heaven knows where you’d end up.”

You let out an indignant sputter at that, which just invited your pathetic, humiliating body to start into another coughing jag, so strong it brought tears to your eyes. Severus had bent down to rub your back again, eyes soft and face tight with sympathy, all traces of his teasing gone, and for one overwhelming moment you thought you might cry. You managed to force back the wave of emotion with tremendous effort, determined to hold on to the last shreds of your dignity.

“Besides,” he added quietly, still gently massaging your back, “with you sounding like that, I want to be able to monitor you.”

Your heart flopped painfully in your chest. You were so, so, so gone for him.

Not trusting the steadiness of your voice, you simply nodded, giving in. He squeezed your shoulder once before turning and making his way back out of the room. 

“Call for me if you need anything,” he instructed, serious black eyes looking sternly at you.

You managed a tired but grateful smile, waving goodnight as he shut the door behind him.

Once again, it seemed that he had taken all of the warmth in the room with him. You just barely kept from moaning as you crawled under the covers. The bed was soft as a fluffy cloud and you sank in to it, every bone in your hips and spine hurting.

You coughed, hard enough that you could feel your heartbeat throbbing in your head. You knew the potions would kick in soon, thank Merlin, but for now, you just felt like shit. You were somehow hot and cold at the same time, an uneasy pulsing running through you.

And that’s when it finally got through your muddled brain: this is Sev’s bed! The pillow you were resting on was his pillow! Oh Merlin, it smelled like him: the pillows, the soft, clean sheets, the fluffy duvet, all smelling like earth and pine and safe. It was as if you were wrapped in his arms.

But you weren’t. You were alone, because of course you were. Severus had been kinder, gentler, with you than you could’ve ever dreamed, but your heart had been running wild with every touch, and it was time to rein it back in. 

Face facts, you told yourself. He doesn’t love you. He will never love you. You’re lucky that he cares about you at all.

You rolled over, trying as best as you could to swallow past the lump in your throat, your face hot against the cool pillow. You felt heartsick, and regular sick, but you tried to ignore both as you closed your eyes, drifting off into a fitful sleep.

You could still see his dark eyes in your dreams.

Chapter Text

You startled awake some time later, completely disoriented. It was very dark, and you were hot. Or maybe cold? Your chest felt thick.

You could smell Sev. You hummed a bit, happy he was close. You loved when he was close! But you wanted closer. You wanted to be in his arms. You felt so good there.

He must be just out of reach? You made a small, questioning noise, flopping an arm out to search for him, but the sheets were cold and empty.

“Sev?” you whimpered. Why did he leave you? Where did he go? 

With tremendous effort, you rolled over, kicking your legs free of the blankets and over the side of the bed. You had to go look for him! Maybe something happened? But you were so, so dizzy…

The next thing you knew, you were flat on the floor. It was really hard. But the stone was so nice and cool against your cheek you almost didn’t mind. It was too bad you were going to have to leave this lovely floor. You just had to find Sev.

Right as you were about to force yourself back up, you heard the door open, a soft light falling across your face. It seemed very bright after all the darkness. You shut your eyes. 

You heard a gasp, and then someone’s hands were on you. Fear washed through you, but then you heard his deep baritone voice.

“(Y/N)? Can you hear me? Are you alright?” 

The hands had turned you over, dragging you up into some semblance of a sitting position. You crooned wordlessly, tipping over onto his chest and wrapping your arms around him. 

“Sev!” you exclaimed happily.

There was a pause, and then Severus gently began trying to extricate himself. You whined loudly in protest, pressing in harder.

“(Y/N), I need to look at you. I believe you may have hit your head when you fell,” he said. He sounded upset. 

You didn’t want him to be upset, so you reluctantly sat back a bit, cracking your eyes open. His face was very serious as he reached for you, just beginning to check your head for injury when he touched your forehead. His dark eyebrows drew together severely, and then he pointed a stick at you and some papers appeared. You realized belatedly that he had a wand.

You giggled as you flopped over onto his shoulder. “You’re magic, Sevvy!”

“…And you’re sick, (Y/N). Your fever is extremely high,” Severus replied. He sounded even more distressed than before. “You need to get back into bed.”

“Okay,” you agreed easily. But you didn’t move from his shoulder. Your head was just so heavy.

In one motion, he had picked you up and swung you back onto the bed. You giggled again. He was so strong!

But then he turned, as if to leave, and panic surged through you.

“Don’t go!” you cried out, grabbing desperately for his hand. The outburst was enough to finally reawaken your lungs, though, and you coughed yourself red-faced, struggling for breath.

He stepped back beside you quickly, looking as alarmed as you felt. He ran his free hand soothingly down your back, stooping so he was almost at your eye level. 

“Hush now, I’m not leaving,” he said quietly, black eyes serious. “I am just going to summon a few things to help us. Okay?”

“Because you’re magic,” you said hoarsely, smiling weakly.

He gave a single nod of agreement as he gently leaned you back against the headboard. “Because I’m magic. But I will require my arm.”

A low whine escaped you, but you did reluctantly relinquish your death grip on him. Wasting no more time, he conjured a cold cloth and placed it across your forehead. It felt so good, you sighed in relief. Then he called several potions to him.

“You have to drink these now, (Y/N). They’re not going to taste good, but they’re going to make you better,” he urged.

You stared up at him, eyes huge and trusting. You obediently drank the first three, but the fourth you pushed away. 

“I don’t want any more,” you complained, petulant.

He looked up at the ceiling for a long time, which made no sense because there wasn’t anything up there.

“You have to, (Y/N),” he said sternly. “Don’t be foolish.”

You shrank away from his severe tone, your voice small. “I’m sorry, Sevvy. Please don’t be mad at me.”

He sighed deeply, tentatively stroking a placating hand through your hair. When you immediately leaned into the touch, he relaxed, continuing to pet you. “I’m not mad, I’m worried. My apologies for being gruff.”

You stared up at him owlishly, your too-bright eyes adoring. Every stroke of his fingers felt like heaven.

“Drink this last potion now, please. And then you’ll be all done,” he said coaxingly.

You finally did as he asked, making a face at the horrid taste of the medicine. Severus smirked a bit, shaking his head at your antics.

“Sleep now,” he said. “I’ll be back in to check on you.”

Immediately, your panic was back. “No! You can’t go!”

His brow furrowed. “You need your rest. I’ll be just outside—“

“No!” you exclaimed again, heart racing as you clung to him. “Please, you can’t leave!” Just as before, your rapid breaths were too much for your lungs, sending you into another miserable coughing jag. Your chest burned with the effort, and hot tears sprung to your eyes, spilling over onto your cheeks.

“Okay, (Y/N), I’ll stay. Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed, sliding you over so that he could sit beside you. 

If you had been looking at him, you would have seen the near-frantic worry on his face. Instead, you had burrowed immediately into his chest, sobbing. You were hot, you felt awful, and all you wanted was him.

He moved the cold compress, which had fallen, to the back of your neck, and then wrapped his arms around you. “Hush,” he murmured, deep voice vibrating comfortingly against your cheek. “It’s going to be okay. Here, drink some water for me.”

He procured an icy glass for you, which you reluctantly pulled away from his embrace to drink. Being held so close had helped you calm down, though, so you took a few shaky breaths. The cold water and medicine were starting to bring you back to your senses, and you were feeling the first pricklings of embarrassment.

Severus reached out and gently swiped away the errant tears on your face. He looked tired but his expression was so soft you almost started crying again. 

“I’m sorry, Severus,” you whispered.

He frowned at you. “Why?”

You curled into yourself to keep from touching him. You knew he didn’t like to be touched, and you had been all but hanging off of him for god knows how long by now. “For all of this. For taking advantage.”

“Taking advantage of what?” he asked, his eyebrow raised. “Everything I’ve done has been my own choice.”

Shame licked at your insides. Here he was, being the most caring, doting friend, and you were over here, reading way too far into it. “I…I don’t feel the same way about you as you do about me,” you finally mumbled.

Your heart sank into a pit in your stomach as you watched him pull away, watched as his shields came up and his eyes narrowed. “Which is how, exactly?” he asked frostily.

A single, damning tear rolled down your cheek. “I’m kind of…in love with you.”

For a moment, Severus held perfectly still, staring so deeply into your eyes it was like he could see your very soul. 

“I’m not sure we should have this conversation now, with you so ill,” he finally said, voice husky with some emotion you couldn’t name.

You closed your eyes, more tears spilling out, feeling like the world’s biggest fool. You had known he wouldn’t feel the same. Why did you have to go and open your big mouth? Now, even your friendship was ruined.

You were startled out of your self-loathing by Severus gently brushing the tears from your face for a second time that night.

“I didn’t say that I don’t return your feelings, (Y/N). Just that we should discuss this when you’re not half-delirious with fever,” he said softly, blushing slightly.

Wait…blushing? And he wasn’t…saying no?

Your heart began to pound. It was now or never. 

“I’ve felt this way for a long time,” you admitted, looking up at him through your lashes. “Sick or not, I know how I feel about you. How you’ve been there for me. How you’re here for me now. I…I love you.”

The silence seemed to stretch out for an eternity.

“Are you sure?” he asked, voice so quiet you almost couldn’t hear him over the blood rushing in your ears. He was giving you yet another opportunity to save face, to take it back, to say you didn’t mean it.

You simply nodded. You meant it.

Slowly, slowly, as if you were an ornament he was afraid of shattering, he took your hand. And then all at once he was pulling you close and you were leaning in to him in equal measure. 

“You silly, silly (witch/wizard),” he murmured into your hair. “Of course I love you, too. I did not ever expect my affections to be returned.”

You squeezed him as hard as you could with your muscles so weak, burying your face in his neck. “And you call me silly. Why on earth would you think that? I’ve only been fawning over you for months.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to your feverish forehead, and it almost felt like a brand. A delicious, toe-curling shiver travelled down your spine. You could practically feel him frown, not knowing that this time, you weren’t trembling from the cold.

“Ecstatic as I am that we have come to this conclusion, it is very late, and you need to be asleep,” he said, stroking his fingers through your hair.

You didn’t protest, simply pressed a kiss of your own into his throat. With the adrenaline of your confession rapidly wearing off and the potions fully kicked in by this point, you felt heavy with exhaustion. “Stay with me?”

He kissed your forehead again, holding you securely even as you drifted off to sleep.

“Always.”

Chapter Text

When you woke up the next morning, the first thing your eyes fell on was Severus. To your surprise, he was still asleep beside you, his face almost boyishly unlined and unguarded. Even in his sleep, he had one arm stretched out to you, his hand resting on your hip protectively. You smiled.

So that meant that…last night was real. You were admittedly a bit fuzzy on the exact details, but you remembered him. His hands on you, his arms around you, his lips. 

And, what you could never, ever forget, no matter how delirious you were: he said he loved you. Your heart flooded with warmth.

Unfortunately, you could tell, even from your horizontal position, that your chest was deeply congested, and knew that a coughing fit would be happening shortly, whether you wanted it to or not. Determined not to wake Sev, who clearly exhausted himself taking care of you all night, you slowly eased out of the bed and padded out of the room. Your breaths were little more than strained wheezes by the time you made it to the bathroom, but you did make it, silently shutting the door behind you and turning the shower on. Once you had undressed and were standing under the hot water, you proceeded to more or less cough your lungs out, choking so hard on the mucous in your body you had to kneel on the floor of the tub to avoid falling, your abs aching with the strain.

The steam helped, though, and eventually you got your gasping under control, standing back up on wobbly legs. Keeping one hand on the wall of the shower, you washed away the sweat and grime of your sickness with Sev’s shampoo. It smelled like him, and you relished it.

This should probably feel like a bigger deal, you mused, since in some ways, helping yourself to his shower and his things felt wildly intimate. After all, you only just confessed your feelings to each other last night. But at the same time, almost nothing had happened, really. Your feelings for him were the same, and apparently his feelings for you were the same, so really, little had changed.

And yet, everything had, hadn’t it? 

When you were done, you slowly dried off and redressed, then combed your fingers through your hair to get rid of the worst of the tangles. This took an astonishing amount of energy, and by the time you were done, you felt nearly depleted. 

You quietly crept out of the bathroom, but it turned out there was no need for such precautions, because once you were in the hallway, you could hear Severus moving around in the kitchen. You carefully made your way toward him, hand trailing along the wall to ensure you wouldn’t fall.

When he saw you in the doorway, he hurried toward you, wrapping his arm around your waist. You sagged against him gratefully.

“Good morning, handsome,” you beamed. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

He scowled at you, but couldn’t quite stop the edges of his mouth from turning up in a smile. “You didn’t. How do you feel?”

You shrugged. “Like I’ve been hit by the Knight Bus. Otherwise, just fine.”

You grinned cheekily as he rolled his eyes massively.

“Testing my patience already, are you?” he said, eyebrow quirked, clearly trying to pretend he wasn’t the least bit amused. “You ought to know by now that I have none.”

“Yes, dear, I know you well enough to know that that is a lie,” you smirked back.

“Hmm…maybe when it comes to you,” he relented, dark eyes going soft. Their inky depths pulled you in close, closer, so that you almost—

At the last second, you swiftly turned away, his lips making contact with your cheek instead of your mouth. When you turned back, he was watching you, black eyes hauntingly betrayed and face pale.

“I should’ve known,” he said quietly, taking a rigid step back. “You didn’t mean it, did you?”

You rushed to placate him, your heart in your throat, practically throwing yourself back into his arms. “Sev! Of course I meant it. I would give anything to kiss you right now. But in case you’ve forgotten, I’m sick, and I also meant it when I said I don’t want you to catch this,” you implored him, wide eyes staring up into his.

He raised an eyebrow at you again. “You haven’t exactly kept to yourself.”

You jerked away from him as though you’d been stung, burning with shame. “You’re completely right. I’m so sorry. I’ve been wildly irresponsible,” you murmured, eyes glued to the floor. Not just irresponsible, but selfish. All night, you’d thought only of yourself and your own comforts, never even considering that you were exposing him to your plague as you’d clung to him like a barnacle.

He sighed deeply before pulling you firmly back into his arms, ignoring your weak attempts to resist. “That is not what I meant. You’re important to me, and I want you as close to me as you’re willing to be. I am only saying that I do not understand how refusing a kiss makes any difference, in the grand scheme of things. I am already exposed.”

“You know very well that just being in my proximity is not at all the same germ load as kissing me,” you scolded him, but you were powerless against the smile and blush creeping across your face. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d be arguing with the man about this, or that he’d be so…interested.

Severus, being the observant jerk that he was, did not miss your reaction, as told by the cocky smirk he was wearing. You swatted his chest and laughed self-consciously as you flushed even deeper red.

It was that laughter, of course, that was a step too far for your fragile chest, and you twisted away from him to cough, hard. The spasms resonated from deep in your lungs, rattling and heavy, and it hurt. It took far longer than you would’ve liked to wrestle your lungs back under control, and when you looked back up, Sev’s face was dark and drawn with worry.

“You sound worse,” he growled, pressing his palm to your forehead. 

You melted into his touch, shrugging half-heartedly, too winded to produce much of a response.

He began to guide you toward the couch. “Come sit down. You need to eat before I can give you more medicine. What did you last have? I was considering brewing something stronger for you, but don’t want it to interact with anything you’ve consumed.”

What did you have last? You hadn’t eaten anything last night, of course, or at midday, since you couldn’t get up to the Great Hall…you’d had some tea at breakfast…maybe some tea the night before that…?

Too late, you realized you had obviously had to think about it way too hard, and therefore had completely given yourself away. 

Sev’s eyebrows were arched dangerously, his expression unamused. “Has it really been so long that you don’t remember?”

You ducked your head, smiling sheepishly.

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with a long sigh. “No wonder the medicine has been ineffective. You’ve given your body nothing to work with!”

“I wasn’t hungry,” you mumbled.

He glared at you. “You’re making a very strong case for yourself to never be allowed out of my sight again,” he said flatly.

“Is that a threat, or a promise?” you asked, smiling mischievously.

He scowled back at you, but there was little heat to it, and you grinned harder.

“You’re incorrigible,” he remarked.

“Yeah. You love me, though,” you beamed.

His face softened, even as he rolled his eyes. “Yes, I do. Lucky for you. Merlin knows how you’d survive this without me.”

“Hey!” you sputtered, laughing, which immediately turned into coughing. Thankfully, you didn’t spiral into a fit, but your lungs crackled audibly with phlegm, and you winced at how gross you sounded.

“Ugh, don’t make me laugh, I’m disgusting,” you rasped, clearing your throat repeatedly.

“A more apt description would be worrisomely ill,” Severus corrected, brow furrowed with concern as he ran his hand down your back, soothing your sore lungs. 

You took a shaky, wheezy breath, drooping against his chest. “Thank you for all of this, Sev. You’ve been so kind.”

He stroked your hair, wrapping his arms around you for a brief squeeze. “There’s no need to thank me. You deserve nothing less.”

Your throat constricted with emotion. You squeezed him back, another silent thank-you, before he gently pulled away.

“I’m going to go collect a few things for us from the kitchen house elves. Do you have any particular requests?”

You shook your head, but then hesitated. “Maybe some scones? If they have them?”

Severus raised an eyebrow at you. “I can’t say that sweets are particularly advisable for you, in your present condition.”

You blushed, your eyes dropping to your lap as you fussed with the hem of your robes. “I know,” you mumbled. And you did. But when you were sick, sometimes all you wanted were your terrible comfort foods.

“However,” Sev said, drawing your eyes back up to meet his, “if that’s what you want, I’ll get it for you. I want you to eat.”

You smiled shyly at him, blushing deeper. “I love you so much.”

He bent to kiss your forehead, smiling slightly. “I love you, too. I’ll be back shortly.” And with that, he strode out of the room, black robes flowing behind him.

Chapter Text

In his absence, all of the symptoms that you had easily shoved onto the back burner due to your sheer happiness to be around him came roaring back into focus. You definitely felt better than you did yesterday, but your body still noticeably hurt: your joints were sore, your lungs and abdominal muscles were aching from coughing, and you were cold. You curled up into a ball on the couch, leaning against the armrest like you did last night, closed your eyes, and tried to ignore everything. He’d be back soon, and that made everything better.

As expected, you didn’t have to wait long. He strode back in the door a short time later, levitating multiple containers of food.

“Apparently, you are quite popular with the house elves,” he commented by way of greeting, trademark eyebrow raised. “When I said that you were incapacitated, and requested some things for you, at least eight separate elves began to vie for the honor of packing your food.”

You smiled gently. You made an especial point to do as much for the house elves as they would allow, and treated them with the utmost kindness and respect. Their working conditions had always bothered you deeply.

“That’s very sweet of them. And you, to get all of it for us,” you said, reaching for him.

He floated the food onto the coffee table before sitting next to you and pulling you close, arm around you so that you could rest your head on his shoulder.

“What would you like first? Your choices are fruit, oatmeal, pancakes, or the scones you requested,” he said, opening each container in turn. “There’s also chamomile tea.”

“My favorite,” you smiled, looking at him with a note of surprise.

“No need to look so shocked, I notice things,” he snipped, continuing to fuss with the food to avoid looking at you. This time you were sure of it, he was definitely blushing.

You laughed and grabbed him by the front of his robes, kissing his cheek. “You are the biggest softie.”

He glared at you. “I’m sure you’re perfectly aware I’m literally a former Death Eater.”

You kissed him again, grinning. “Yeah, former, because you have a big, soft, wonderful heart, my darling.”

He groaned. “Eat your breakfast, you horrible brat,” he grumbled, pretending he wasn’t smiling behind his hair. “Your choosing privileges have now been revoked, you have to eat the fruit first.”

You couldn’t help it, you cackled. Of course, your laughter quickly morphed into coughing, but it was worth it. 

Severus rolled his eyes at you and tried to hand you the container with fruit. But try as you might, you couldn’t get the fit under control, your lungs spasming wildly as each cough felt like a razor drawn through them, burning and sharp in equal measure. You reached blindly for Sev, beginning to panic as black spots danced across your vision.

He shouted something you couldn’t make out over the vicious coughing, and then all of a sudden you could breathe again. You gasped in as much wonderful air as you could hold, each breath ragged.

Both of his hands were on you now, steadying and protective in equal measure, rubbing your back soothingly. 

“Easy, easy, love,” he murmured.

When you looked at him, though, his eyes were wide with alarm that you were sure mirrored your own.

“What…was that? What did you do?” you asked, voice scraping and gravelly.

“A type of lung ease spell. It’s temporary, but should be enough for now,” he said. He took his hand off of your chest to smooth your hair back, tucking it behind your ear, obsidian eyes an intoxicating mix of kind and worried. “Are you alright?”

You didn’t mean to, but all at once, your eyes overflowed with tears, your heart hammering behind your ribs. 

He immediately pulled you into his lap, cradling you close, as if you were a child. It was like a dam burst; you sobbed into his neck, chest still heaving.

“Shh, I know, baby. I’m sure that was very frightening,” he said softly.

You nodded mutely, clinging to him.

“But you know I’ll never let anything happen to you, don’t you?” he chided.

You paused, considering. Then nodded.

He kissed your forehead. “As long as I’m breathing, I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

You squeezed him, hard, as your heart flip-flopped in your chest, trying to communicate how much that meant to you. When he carefully squeezed you back, you took a shaky, steadying breath.

“Merlin, I’m sorry for this, Sev. I never cry,” you mumbled, swiping the tears from your cheeks in embarrassment.

“You’re ill,” he said gently. Pressing his lips to your forehead again, you watched as his expression darkened. “And I suspect your fever is rising again. You need to eat so I can give you your potions.”

You sighed, more worn out than you cared to admit. The prospect of eating was exhausting, but you knew you were only going to feel progressively worse if you didn’t get some medicine in you. With great reluctance, you crawled off of Severus’s lap and back into your place at his side.

“At least start with some tea,” he implored you, expression slightly too concerned to be stern as he handed over a magically steaming hot cup.

When you took a sip, you could tell it had been doused in honey to soothe your throat and cough. Warmth bloomed in your chest.

You looked at Severus as he ate, marveling at him. You truly couldn’t believe you had gotten so lucky. He had been nothing but thoughtful, doting, and tender through this entire experience, no matter how gross you had been. And...wait—

“You called me pet names!” you exclaimed, eyes wide as his gentle endearments came back to you.

He arched an eyebrow. “Would you prefer that I did not?”

“No, no, no,” you rushed to say. “I loved it. I just didn’t think it would really be your thing, I guess.”

“It seemed like something you would enjoy,” he replied simply, handing you a small plate of fruit and a single scone.

You blushed happily, feeling unbelievably seen and loved. Noticing this, the corner of his mouth crooked up. Neither of you said anything more.

The two of you finished your breakfast in companionable silence, and then he brought you the awful, terrible-tasting potions. You drank them all with no protest besides making a face, and he ruffled your hair gently, a mixture of affection and apology.

He sat back down beside you after grabbing some of his—and after much cajoling, your—work, and both of you settled in to handle some of your grading that had piled up. However, after about an hour, you began to feel ice cold again. Not wishing to disturb him, you tried to ignore it, hunching and drawing your limbs in toward your body to try to preserve heat. But just as you were attempting to refocus on a student’s essay, Severus pulled you into his lap. 

You let out a hum of contentment, nestling your head into his neck as you shivered. He was so warm.

“Why didn’t you say you were cold, you muppet?” he scolded you, summoning a blanket from the bedroom and wrapping it securely around you. You didn’t think you had ever felt so safe or happy in your life.

“Mmm, didn’t want to bother you,” you sighed, settling in to the blissful warmth. But upon seeing that the blanket was the trademark dark-green-and-silver Slytherin colors, you couldn’t resist a teasing protest. “Hey! You’re going to get me banned from my own House.”

“Slytherin would take you,” he said matter-of-factly. “You’re certainly prideful enough.”

“How dare you!” you laughed, batting a hand against his chest. “Unbelievably rude.”

He smirked, kissing your forehead.

“...But possibly true,” you admitted with a grin, snuggling in closer to him. You tried to stave it off, but a yawn forced its way out. “Merlin, how can I possibly be tired? I feel like I’ve done nothing but sleep.”

“You wore yourself out prior to this,” Severus said, giving you a look, “and you’re still sick. Get some rest, I’ll be here.”

Your eyes were already starting to slip shut. “Forever?” you murmured.

He kissed your cheek tenderly. “Forever and always.”