Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Thaddeus Ross @secretaryofstate

We are very pleased to announce that @theavengers are returning to their usual duties of business! This is under a sanctioned strategy to unite our team of heroes, and in turn the United States of America.

leah<3 @starkstars

UHM WHAT?!! AVENGERS RETURNING???!!! YES PLZ

kayden @captainassmerica

OMG I CAN'T BREATHEEE

rachel @rachelrogers

oh they're so back

The Avengers @theavengers

@rachelrogers And it feels so good! 

Mike @passthemike

this is gonna be like forcing a group of rabid cats to get along and tbh... pass the popcorn

wade >o< @deadpool

@passthemike tell me about it!

Tony Stark @youknowwhoiam

[This tweet has been deleted by the author.]  kill me.

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[@youknowwhoiam and @theboss opened a chat]

Tony Stark: pepper

Tony Stark: pepperrrrrrr

Pepper Potts: What about "I'm in a meeting" do you not understand?

Tony Stark: i understand completely

Tony Stark: i'm just choosing to ignore :)

Pepper Potts: Charming.

Tony Stark: you actually cannot be on board with all of this

Tony Stark: i bet you two are talking about me right now

Tony Stark: what is he saying??

Tony Stark: nevermind don't tell me

Tony Stark: i hate ross

Pepper Potts: I think people on the other side of the world know you hate Ross, Tony.

Tony Stark: welcome back to the land of the living pep

Tony Stark: when he gets back ask him if he think's im sexy x

Pepper Potts: Tony!

Tony Stark: you know you want to ;)

Pepper Potts: Call ending now.

Tony Stark: HNGHG WE'RE NOT EVEN ON THE PHONE

-

Tony Stark @youknowwhoiam

my wife hates me

Rhodey @warmachine

and you're only realising this now?

Tony Stark @youknowwhoiam

well that's just rude 

ginny @steverogersstan

everyone hates you asshole

Tony Stark @youknowwhoiam

@theboss help i'm being attacked on all fronts

peter @petetheintern

dont worry mr stark im sure she still loves u!!

Tony Stark @youknowwhoiam

thanks, kid

Tony Stark @youknowwhoiam

at least somebody has faith in me :( ... ahem @warmachine

Rhodey @warmachine

dm-ing the kid and telling him to reply to you does not count

Tony Stark @youknowwhoiam

PETER @petetheintern

peter @petetheintern

IM SORRY MR STARK

peter @petetheintern

ITS THE EYES

peter @petetheintern

THEY SEE THROUGH MY SOUL

Tony Stark @youknowwhoiam

BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN ON FACETIME

peter @petetheintern

i felt the disapproving uncle stare through the screen :(

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[@theboss and @mariahill opened a chat]

maria: you did NOT just ask ross if he finds tony attractive by cornering him into a debate about appreciating male beauty

maria: how did we even get onto this topic

Pepper: What can I say? Talking about Rogers creating an online presence would make anyone stop and appreciate the modern age of social media.

Pepper: Also the look on his face was far too good

maria: so true

maria: would never take you for a captain america fan

Pepper: Oh I'm not

Pepper: But anything to make that bigoted asshole squirm

maria: PREACH

maria: god this entire thing is gonna be a car crash

Pepper: And guess who'll be taking care of it?

maria: im gonna take a wild guess and say not ross

maria: and that we've been put in charge of 'any and all social media relations' ?

Pepper: Bingo.

maria: oh fuck

Pepper: Fuck indeed.

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steve @captainamerica

is this thing on?