Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Merlin bit into the sleeve of his tunic to stifle a groan. The table under him rocked aggressively enough that if he wasn’t distracted he would be worrying about the inkwell or documents falling off. His stomach was pressed uncomfortably into the edge of the table and his trousers were down around his ankles. But right now all he could do was try and not scream his pleasure.

“Fuck Merlin.” Arthur groaned. “You’re so fucking tight.” He thrust sharply causing Merlin to bite harder into his sleeve again desperately trying to stay quiet. 

If you asked Merlin how they had started, he couldn’t tell you exactly what had been the final straw. Just that a few months back Arthur had kissed him out of the blue and then they had fallen into bed. So now at any given time Arthur might just bend Merlin over and get them both off. Merlin wanted to say it was just a physical need for him, and maybe at the start it had been. But now. Despite his best efforts, Merlin was fully aware he was royally fucked, and had gotten attached to the stupid pig headed prat of a prince currently royally fucking him. 

Normally they were not quite this stupid though Merlin thought. Fucking in middle of day, in Arthur’s chamber where his knights and father could walk in. But also Merlin hadn’t exactly tried to stop him when he suggested they, “Take a break and work off some energy.” 

“I - I close.” Arthur said. 

Merlin’s hand was working over his own dick under the desk. Spitting his sleeve out his mouth he said. “Me too. I… fuck do that again. Yes! I'm really close.”

Arthur’s hands were gripping Merlin’s hips, holding him firmly in place on the desk as he set to hit that spot again. As Merlin let out another small sound and Arthur leant down over Merlin and kissed his back. The touch of his lips made Merlin burn where he had pressed. His heart skipped and he closed his eyes and bite down again to stop him saying anything stupid. 

“Fuck i’m -” Arthur groaned into his skin. 

They didn’t have time to react as the door opened. 

“My lord your father—” Leon’s voice cut off suddenly as he saw the scene before him. 

Merlin tensed up and he tried desperately to push off the desk. Unfortunately at the same time Arthur shifted and pulled out of him far too fast. The resulting movements caused a pain to shoot through Merlin’s ass and made him cry out sharply.

“Oh— My god… Sorry my lord.” Leon said, as he slammed the door shut behind him as he left again. 

Merlin lay over the desk now clutching his stomach and panting heavily, his dick rapidly softering even though he hadn’t finished. 

Arthur was standing unsteadily attempting to tuck himself back into his trousers. He looked down at Merlin. 

“God’s sake Merlin get yourself together!” He snapped down at him.

“Oh so sorry my lord.” Merlin said back, slowly pushing off the desk, “I just had you rearrange my guts and need a few moments to recover from it.” He reached down wincing as he did to pull up his trousers. 

Arthur made a move to help before stepping back allowing him to sort himself out.

Merlin started to quickly rearrange his clothing before looking towards the door. 

“Fuck.” he muttered. 

Arthur turned to look at the door as well before snapping back to Merlin. “How could you be such an idiot Merlin!”

“Me!” Merlin guffawed. 

“Really Merlin. You didn’t even lock the door.” Arthur pointed at him aggressively. “I knew you were a useless servant but this has to take the cake for the most incompetent action.” 

“Oh I am so sorry my lord.” Merlin sarcastically replied, “I’ll be sure to lock the door before you jump me with no warning and fuck me over your desk.” 

“It won't happen again.” Arthur said as he fixed his cloak and picked up the chair they had knocked over at some point. 

“Of course,” Merlin rolled his eyes. “Next time you want a shag I'll make sure to fully predict it beforehand and lock every possible door. I’ll also soundproof the room and make sure your father, knights, or council have no unexpected need for your royal dollophead.” 

Arthur folded his arms and stared at him with a serious look. “This is serious Merlin.” His look shifted slightly to one of concern before returning to the serious scowl. “We … got caught.”

Merlin shrugged, picking up his neckerchief off the desk and tying it back around his neck. “By Leon. He would never tell if you ordered him not to. He is too loyal to you.”

“Merlin!” Arthur grabbed the other man by the arm. “I don't think you understand. If anyone finds out… If my father finds out he will punish us.” Merlin gulped, trying to look away but finding himself fixed by Arthur’s gaze. “You will be punished.”

Merlin took a step back, breaking his hold. “Ok so then we just need to be more sensible. Not do this at random. Control ourselves.” He smirked. “I'm sure your highness can resist a lowly servant enough to not push me up against every surface at inopportune times.” He knew he was pushing too much, being too flippant, but the look on Arthur’s face worried him. 

Arthur took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I think.” He said after a moment. “You sure leave.” 

“Ok…” Merlin said slowly, “I’ll be back this evening then with your supper.” He started to walk to the door but Arthur stopped him.

“No. I mean. You should leave my service.” Arthur stated, pulling himself up to stand tall looking down on Merlin as much as he could, considering they were the same height. “I no longer wish you to be my man servant.”

“Arthur, you can't be serious.” Merlin squawked. “You're dismissing me over this! Because we fucked up one time. If this is about the sex we can stop. I promise you I wont ask-”

“No Merlin.” Arthur said quickly “It is not about that. It’s … it’s because you are all together useless man servants. You never get a single simple task I assign right. And this was just the last straw.” He said firmly, walking around to the other side of the desk and straightening the items pushed aside earlier. “You never follow orders, you talk back, and you are always late or missing when I require you. What possible use do I have for a servant like you.”

Merlin could feel the prick of tears in his eyes. But not of sorrow, of rage. “So I meant nothing to you! I was just entertainment!.” He stormed over to the desk gesturing at it. “Something warm to fuck and then as soon as I became even a little inconvenient discard.”

A small finch passed over Arthur’s face, but he recovered quickly. “Get Out Merlin.” He spoke slowly and clearly. “Before I make you.” 

“Gladly.” Merlin strode to the door before turning back, bowing with a wince, “YOUR HIGHNESS.” He said venom dripping from his voice. 

He wrenched the door open and stepped into the hallway seeing Leon looking very uncomfortable standing outside facing away from the door. 

“He is ready for you now.” Merlin said. 

“Ok.” Leon said, turning and seeing Merlin there. “Are you alright?” 

Merlin realised that the tears had started to fall now he was out of the room. He scrubbed at his face. “Yes.” He snapped before trying to storm away but found he was limping every other step. He swore under his breath but picked up the pace trying to get back to his chamber as fast as possible despite the pain. Luckily Leon did not say anything about it letting him go. 

Thank the Gods once he got back to Gaius and his shared chambers, he found them empty. He went straight to his room and fell onto the bed. 

He lay there face buried into the straw mattress waiting for everything that just happened to fully hit him. 

They were caught. Arthur blamed him! Arthur had fired him. Arthur had set him aside. 

Merlin felt the tears pricking at his eyes again. After everything he had done for the prat! He risked his life to save Arthur with magic so many times Merlin was losing count. Not that Arthur knew that. But he had known how loyal Merlin was to him. After taking poison for him, and oftering his life more than once to save Arthur. Arthur also knew Merlin had been a virgin before they had started their… whatever they had been. He had taken great pleasure in slowly showing Merlin how everything worked, as he took almost every possible virginity Merlin had. Kissing him slowly as they jerked off together, cupping his cheek as Merlin took Arthur apart the first time with his mouth. The first time Arthur took his ass he spent almost an hour getting him ready. Kissing him tenderly, opening him up slowly with his fingers and checking he was ok several times. It had been then that Merlin realised he was getting attached to Arthur. He had thought… Well it didn’t matter now. As Arthur had ended it like Merlin was nothing, had meant nothing. 

He had in fact treated him like he was less than nothing. Like he had been a burden. 

Merlin felt the rage building. He picked up the pillow and hurled it at the wall followed by a small wooden cup on his side table. It didn’t relieve his anger though. He wanted to hit something, to punch someone. But as he started wondering if going down to the local pub and getting in a fight might help he noticed several items in the room were levertating including the bed he was on. 

“Shit.” He said, pulling his powers back under control. Everything fell to the ground, the bed thumping heavily but holding together. 

Merlin threw his arm over his face. 

He had known starting their affair was a bad idea. His destiny was to protect Arthur and help him become a great king. How the hell was he supposed to do that if he no longer could be around him easily. 

At least he didn’t kick him out of the castle. He still had his job working for Gaius so he would have tasks that allowed him to travel around. But he no longer would be able to accompany Arthur on missions with the knights. No longer can defend him from wayward sorcerers or even just random bandits out to kill the king to be. 

“Urrrgggg.” He pulled on his hair. “I am an Idiot! This was so fucking stupid. Getting into this was stupid. Falling–” He cut himself off. No he refused he was not and had not ever been in love with Arthur. Attached sure, infatuated maybe. But NOT in love definitely! Absolutely not in love with the dollophead. 

But right now his heart didn’t seem to agree. It felt like it was breaking. He somehow felt raw and tired, and even though it shouldn’t there was a physical pain in his chest. It made him want to throw up, to scream, to go and punch Arthur in his stupid face. He closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath. He let himself have an hour. An hour to let the feeling swam over him, to hurt and punish him for ever getting into this mess in the first place. Then he would get up. Clean himself up. And figure out what happened next.

He took a shuddering breath, curled into a ball and let the tears fall freely. 

x-x-x

Some time later Gaius returned. Merlin had managed to sort himself out and was busying himself around their shared space. When Merlin told him he had been dismissed from Arthur’s service Gaius had said, “Of course. What did you do this time Merlin?” However, at whatever look on Merlin’s face he realised this wasn’t a joke. He tried to reassure him that this wasn’t the first time Arthur had sacked him and he would surely take him back.

“I am not so sure, Gaius.” Merlin replied sadly. “I think this time he really means it. I really messed up.” Gaius hugged him close but didn’t ask anymore questions. 

They prepared dinner and ate a simple stew. Merlin asked about Gaius’ day and what herbs he was running low on. Merlin made a list so he could start tomorrow gathering them. He would have the time now. Gaius suggested he see about becoming a squire to another knight. Merlin thought about it. It might allow him to shadow Arthur on quests. But it would limit his movement around the castle. Squires were not expected to be near the royal chambers. 

Merlin was tidying up the dishes from dinner when a knock sounded on the chamber door. 

“Come in it open.” Gaius said, as he looked over from where he was sorting his medical supplies.

Leon opened the door looking slightly red faced and standing too formally for visiting two servants. 

Merlin upon seeing him nearly dropped the dishes and then hurriedly tried to look anywhere else but at him. 

Leon cleared his throat and said, “Sorry for disturbing your evening. But I was wondering if I could speak to Merlin.” He was looking at Gaius as though he needed permission. Merlin was now worried what the hell did he need to talk about? He’d seen what he seen and presumably Arthur had explained it was over now. 

“Of course.” Gaius said slowly, looking from Leon then to Merlin. “I had to go out anyway, one of the washerwomen had a new babe and I need to check their progress.” He picked up his bag before moving towards the door. “I’ll be gone for a few hours, Merlin if you could please start on the bruise palm mix that would be useful.” He closed the door behind him as he left, leaving Merlin standing facing the wall by the wash basin and Leon still near the door. 

Merlin’s mind was spinning trying to come up with what Leon might be thinking. Then horror dawned on him. If he knew Arthur was done with him maybe he thought Merlin was available to service him. No Leon was far too honourable a man to proposition a servant. Then again Merlin would have said the same about Arthur if he had been asked before they had started sleeping together. He nervously turned around and saw that Leon had moved now to be standing on the other side of the table from him. His face was still a little red with nerves but also looked serious and determined. It worried Merlin further. 

“Please sit.” Merlin said, gesturing to the table. Leon did and Merlin sat opposite him. They fell back into silence. Merlin started to drum nervously on the table. 

“Merlin look -” Leon started to say.

“I am so sorry about what you saw.”  Merlin blurted out at the same time. 

Leon fell quite as Merlin continued. “It was a mistake we shouldn’t have been … I should have locked the door. Arthur just wanted to - never mind. It won't happen again.” Merlin took a sharp breath and thought bitterly ‘It won't EVER happen again’ .

Leon had turned beet red and coughed again, “Merlin it’s fine. Arthur explained… your … arrangement, and that it had ended.” He took a deep breath and reached over the table to lay a hand over Merlin’s in comfort. “I came here to see if you-”

Merlin jumped to his feet, snatching his hand back. “Look, I don't know what Arthur said. But to make things clear, I will not do that for just anyone!” Merlin found his anger was growing. He was not a whore to be passed from one knight to the next when they got bored of him. He stood up tall clenching his hands into fists. “I know what you saw but I will not become some toy for the knights of camelot!” He could feel his magic now bubbling with his rage, wanting to spill out. His voice was becoming louder. 

“NO of course not!” Leon stood as well raising his hands in defence. “I didn’t mean to imply that you would… that with -”

“Oh but you saw your chance did you!” Merlin rounded the table knowing he was being too loud. “Did you like what you saw! Me laid out like that. Arthur using his servant for additional tasks. Thought you try to pick up what the prince threw away.” Merlin was now having to hold back his magic as it started to actively want to be unleashed at this man who presumed he could have Merlin! 

Leon’s face turned white with horror. “Oh God Merlin no that was not at all what I meant.” He took a step back and Merlin hesitated. Leon took another breath trying to steady his voice. “I came to see if you were ok.” He said, looking Merlin in the eye. “And I can tell you’re clearly not.” 

Merlin deflated, his anger fading into mortification. “Oh.” He said quietly and fell back onto the bench. 

Leon hesitated a moment before sitting next to him but kept his distance and didn’t try to touch Merlin again. After a few moments he spoke again, “I am sorry for causing you distress. It was not my intention to imply you would ever be someone who would be ok with that sort of arrangement.” He looked at Merlin and tried to give a reassuring smile. “I just wanted to check on you. You were limping when you left earlier.” 

Merlin winced and looked away. The two fell back into silence again.

“Merlin… If Arthur… If he was…” Leon looked deeply worried now. “If you need help I could try and find you a way out of camelot.” 

“What!” Merlin’s head snapped up staring at Leon.

“If you are scared of Arthur. If he was forcing you. I know he is my prince but I have connections in other courts. I can find you employment and get you away. If you need assistants.” He looked like he was gonna reach out again but held back, “I am his knight but I am also your friend Merlin. If he was or is hurting you I will do everything in my power to help you.” He said it like a vow. 

Merlin was dumbfounded. “No… no nononono. You have the wrong idea.” Merlin said rapidly. “Arthur never. He wouldn’t. I don’t.” 

It was Leon’s turn to look confused. “Merlin, you said he treated you like entertainment?” 

Merlin winced, “You heard that?” It wasn’t that surprising they hadn’t been keeping their fight quiet and Leon had been right outside. But Merlin was mortified nonetheless.

“Merlin. No one whether prince or peasant should have the right to … do anything sexual to you without your permission. It is core to the knightly code I was raised to follow.” He looked sad as he continued, “But if the prince wasn’t being … if he was in anyway pressuring you-” 

“Leon.” Merlin waved his arms to get the other man to stop, “I am truly grateful for your kind words and your knightly honor. But I promise you you really have gotten the wrong idea.” Merlin didn’t want to have to explain this to Leon of all people but here he was, “I was just mad at Arthur for dismissing me because far from not wanting it, I really REALLY like what we had been doing.” Merlin stated, emphasising the words. “I was angry he was calling it off because we got caught. I was, yes, slightly physically hurt but that was more because of how… things so abruptly stopped, and not because he was doing me any harm … during the ummm act.” 

Leon slumped in relief, “Oh thank God. I didn’t want to believe he was like that. But, it appeared- I am really relieved to have been wrong.” He said, “I am sorry for interrupting. If I hadn’t you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.” 

Merlin laughed. “Out of everyone involved in what happened you Leon are the last person responsible.” He placed a hand on Leon’s shoulder. “I really do appreciate you thinking about my well being. You are a good friend.” He looked bashful, “I am sorry I thought you might ever… you know want to … “ Merlin trailed off. 

“We both made a lot of assumptions today.” He smiles kindly, “I am still sorry things ended the way they did for you two. I feel like I still caused a rift there I didn’t intend to.” 

Merlin shrugged. “I think it was always doomed.” Merlin lent back against the table, “We never should have started. It couldn’t go anywhere and the risk was too high.” He said, “I was being an idiot letting it get to where it did. I shouldn't have let myself -” He cut himself off and sighed. “Doesn’t matter now anyway.”

Leon clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re a good man Merlin. One day you will find someone who will treat you right.” He said it jokingly but it did still warm up Merlin’s heart a little.

“Sure men are just lining up to be with a skinny, big eared servant who can't even hold down a job and talks back all the time.” Merlin quipped.

Leon laughed and smiled at Merlin. Merlin found himself smiling back. 

“It's very odd though that there was actually something going on between you two.” Leon said. 

“What?” Merlin said. 

“Well the knights have been joking about it pretty much since you tried to punch him the first time you met.” He said winking at him. “The tension and looks. We all assumed that you two were forever going to be pining.” Merlin was pulling a face.

“We were not pining!” 

“When did you actually start?” Leon asked, then seemed to think better of it. “Actually I don't need to know.” 

“Good because I was not going to tell you.” 

Leon laughed again and stood up. He clapped Merlin on the shoulder again slightly harder. “I should get going and leave you to rest up.” He started to walk to the door.

“Leon.” Merlin called after him, “Thank you. Again. For checking on me and for the offer to help me get out of Camelot. I might not need it but knowing you cared enough to risk helping a servant like that means more than I can say.” 

Leon didn’t say anything but nodded and smiled softly before leaving. 

x-x-x

The next few days were largely an exercise in boredom for Merlin. He never thought he would be missing cleaning the stables or running up stairs for heavy trays of food. But after the first few days of helping Gaius, reading his spell book and cleaning their chambers, he found that he was struggling to fill the days. Gaius at first sent him out to get supplies and herbs, make potions and balms and even assist him in visiting some patients. But even he didn’t have enough tasks to fully fill Merlin’s time. So he started to explore the castle. 

He had over the few years he’d been in camelot seen most of the lower levels of the castle. He had also been to all of the area reserved for the royal family and to most of the guest quarters. But the castle also had battlements, towers, and odd spaces that came about over a century of building on top of previous generations. He was in one of the towers exploring an odd room half way up that was mostly abandoned. It had a series of boxes filled with old fabrics and furs. There was a bedframe broken and pushed into one corner and on the walls  tapestries hung moth bitten and clearly made for a previous king. 

“Uther must not have liked them much.” Merlin mused while looking over them. They depicted a previous king's conquests, his many battles and victories over foes. The scenes were not pleasant and Merlin found himself understanding why these might have been hidden away in some dank tower room.

He was about to leave the storage space when a noise sounded from below. Merlin started to panic. He wasn’t sure he was allowed up here. Without his status as Arthur’s servant his access was more restricted. He jumped behind a tapestry of a gruesome scene of a battle where wolves seemed to be being set on their enemies. 

“Up here my lady.” Gwen’s voice called. “I think these will work out perfectly.”

There was the sound of the door to the tower room opening and two sets of footsteps entering. 

“The fabric is old but not overly damaged.” Gwen was saying. “It should work for bedding at least for the chambers.” 

“Great work Gwen.” Lady Morgana’s voice replied softly. “These look wonderful.” 

“Thank you, my lady.” Gwen responded. Merlin could almost hear the curtsy she was giving.

“Honestly Gwen, We’re alone up here. Please call me Morgana.”

Merlin heard a soft sound from Gwen, something between a sign and a gasp, “Of course Morgana.” 

“This place is quiet.” Morgana said, there was a sound as if she was sitting on one of the crates. 

“Are you ok Morgana?” Gwen said, “You seem tired.” 

Morgana sighed heavily. “I haven’t been sleeping well.” 

The crate creaked again as Gwen sat on it next to Morgana. “Visions again?” She whispered. 

“They’ve been cryptic even by the standards of the vision.” Morgana said, “It looks fuzzy, I see gilmics of the throne empty, a radiating light and the sound of a baby crying.” Her voice wobbled as she spoke, “There was a sense of such power. Like I've never felt before.” 

“Sounds terrifying.” 

“No.” Morgana said her voice was soft and sounded like she might have tears in her eyes. “It was beautiful.” 

Merlin was desperately trying to not make any sound, move, or even breath. His mind was whirring with all he was learning. 

“Can you just hold me?” Morgana’s voice was so quiet that if the room hadn’t been silent Merlin would never had heard it. 

There was the sound of movement and then Morgana sighed deeply. There was little to no noise and then Merlin caught the soft sound of kissing. It was followed by a small noise of happiness from Gwen. Merlin desperately wished he could be anywhere else but here. The noises were still chased but showed no signs of ending anytime soon. 

It was at this moment Merlin felt the dust fly up his nose. He tried desperately to not sneeze, he pinched his nose, threw his head back and begged the gods to be kind. They were not. 

“Aaachoo” 

The tapestry was pulled aside and Merlin came face to face with a furious looking Morgana. 

Merlin fell forward landing on the floor at her feet. 

“MERLIN!” Gwen cried out. “What are you doing here?”

“He was spying.” Morgana spoke in such a way that made Merlin want to crawl away but his back hit the wall behind him.

“No!” Merlin said.

“Then What MERLIN Are You Doing Here!?” Morgana spoke.

“I was just exploring the Castle.” Merlin hurried to explain, “I promise I won't say anything. I swear!”

Morgana was shaking now. “What did you hear? What did you HEAR!” She yelled.

Merlin hesitated before saying. “I heard about your visions.” Morgana looked like she might fall over and Gwen grabbed her arm to steady her. “And I heard ummm… you kissing.” 

Gwen’s face paled but she said, “Merlin won’t tell Morgana. He wouldn’t.” 

But Morgana barely seemed to hear her. She was shaking and as she spoke her eyes seemed to glow. “NO! I’ve been so careful all these years!” She looked as though she might pass out. 

“Morgana! Please calm down. I am sure we can work this out.” Gwen was saying but nothing seemed to be getting through.

“I promise. I swear I won’t say a word.” Merlin was scared now. He'd never seen something this scare. “I understand what it’s like to hide from others. I wouldn’t ever-”

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE!” Morgana yelled. As she did her eyes flashed gold and the tapestries surrounding them caught fire.

Chapter Text

“Gladly. YOUR HIGHNESS.” Merlin said, his tone making the hairs on the back of Arthur’s neck stand up. He wrenched the door open so forcefully it hit the wall with a bang. Before slamming it shut after him. 

Arthur fell into the desk chair and dropped his face into his hands. 

His heartbeat was just about coming down to a more normal rhythm. When Leon had burst in on him fu– on the two of them, Arthur thought he was going to have a heart attack. 

He was so angry at himself, at Merlin, at the bloody door not being locked. 

If you asked Arthur how this all started he could tell you the exact moment he knew he was going to bed Merlin. It had been 6 months back Merlin had woken Arthur up with his breakfast and a sarcastic comment. When Arthur had commented on his missing toast Merlin had made some quip about him losing his figure. Arthur had thrown a pillow at him and Merlin had smirked. And it was as Arthur saw that smile across Merlin’s face he realised he wanted to see Merlin doing that face on his knees before him. 

Arthur hadn’t acted on it then but he did start trying to get Merlin to smirk like that more and more. He also started to more openly flirt with him, call him admirable and make more lude jokes around him. Merlin for his part failed to notice completely. Oh he responded to the jokes with his own, but he gave no indication that he realised what Arthur was trying to do right up until Arthur’s control snapped. 

It was 4 months ago. Arthur had finished his bath for the evening and asked Merlin to stoke the fire. The light of the fire had shone in Merlin’s eyes, making him glow as he had stood up from stoking the flames. He had caught sight of Arthur and had done that smirk again. “Anything else I can do for you my lord.” He had said, teasing Arthur in the way he always did, and Arthur half naked and still warm from the bath couldn’t hold back. He took Merlin by the waist and kissed him. He learnt later Merlin had never been with anyone intimately before. Arthur had felt a shameful amount of joy in that. He shouldn’t be so happy to have taken Merlin’s virginity but he was. He revealed in taking him apart with hands, mouth and cock. Slowly showing him all the ways to enjoy sex, and watch Merlin quickly learn all the ways to cause Arthur to fall apart as well.

It was a stupid idea and he shouldn’t have started it.

He knew it at the time it was a huge risk. If they got caught they would both be punished. But Merlin would take the worst of it. Oh Arthur might be told off, shamed by his father and had extra duties assigned or similar. But Merlin. At best, he would be banished. And the worst was not something Arthur wanted to think about. It had been selfish but Arthur was a weak man. 

He managed to delude himself into thinking it would just be fine, and nothing would go wrong because things just tended to work out for Arthur. Then Leon had opened the door. It was like he had fallen through the ice. All the idea that they could just carry on forever making love sleeping with Merlin and him still be nothing but his servant shattered. And Merlin hadn’t seen why it had to end. Why that broke their delusion. 

A knock at the door pulled Arthur out of his thoughts. 

“Enter.” He said.

Leon came back in and stood by the door, arms folded behind him in a military stance. He looked deeply uncomfortable. Arthur raised his head to meet Leon’s eyes and stood. 

“You said my Father needed me?” 

“Yes Sire. He requested your presence in his chambers as soon as you were able.” Leon said, he didn’t falter and kept his voice steady and to all who didn’t know him would appear to be completely fine if a bit formal in his delivery. 

Arthur did know him though. “Thank you Leon.” Arthur said, and started to walk to the door. Arthur paused as he passed Leon. “You will not say anything about this.” 

“Of course my Lord.” Leon replied not moving. 

“I … I will speak with you about it later.” Arthur said, “I know I can trust you Leon. But if you can wait here I will return once I am done speaking to my father, and we can talk further on the matter.”

“Yes Sire.” 

Arthur left and headed to his father’s rooms. 

Arriving he knocked and waited. “Enter.” His father's voice called from inside.

“You sent for me, Father.” Arthur said, as he opened the door.

His father was sitting at his desk looking over documents before him. His face was furrowed. 

“Yes Arthur.” He looked up and gestured for him to sit in the chair opposite. He slid the nearest parchment across the table to him. “There have been reports of theft in the lower city.” 

Arthur looked over the papers. They appeared to be figures of supply levels within the store houses of the lower city. There were several small but notable discrepancies. Amounts not so much that a single person or small group would struggle to remove without bringing notice to them. 

Normally these small amounts wouldn’t have been noticed but with it coming to the end of winter the supplies were starting to run low and the stored supplies were more important than ever to ensure the city remained supplied with food until the first crops were ready in a couple months. 

“No evidence of a break in?” Arthur asked. 

“Seemily no.” Uther replied. “It is unlikely the thieves could be getting in and out without assistance.”

“You think the guards are assisting them?”

“I do.” Uther said, leaning back on the desk. “I want you to resolve this. The amounts are currently small but if it gets out the supplies are running low we might have panic amongst the peasantry. Either find out who has been stealing the food and who has been allowing thieves in. Or at least make sure we don't have any more disappearances.”  

“Of course father.” Arthur said, “Is there anything else you need me for?” 

“If you can attempt to reallocate the current supplies more efficiently that would help.” Uther replied, “We are nearing spring if we are careful with the supplies we won't have any shortages. But, if we get a harsh start to the new season it might cause issues. We do not need a bread riot.” 

“I will do so.” Arthur said. He stood and bowed to his father who waved at him to indicate he was dismissed. 

Arthur left his mind now set to the new task. He would need to get the schedule of the current storehouse guards and cross reference them with the reports of missing food. He also needs to look into negotiating trade from some of the nearby towns and maybe other kingdoms to ensure the city is adequately supplied. ‘ Maybe’ he thought, ‘if i pass it off that Camelot is having a new season celebration people won't get suspicious of the additional supply requests?’ 

Arthur reached his chamber’s only then remembering that he’d told Leon he was gonna “explain” when he got back. He scrubbed his face. This day was not going well. 

“Sire.” Leon said, standing from where he was sitting now by the fire. 

“Please sit Leon.” Arthur said, grabbing the wine off he abandon early. He took a seat opposite Leon and drank heavily.

“The meeting with your father went well?” Leon asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“It was rather short, not sure why he didn’t just send you with the information really” He replied, “The King wants me to ensure supplies in the store houses are reallocated to make sure we are able to make it until the early spring crops are harvested without issue.”

“A very important task.” Leon replied. 

“Yes, I might require you and the other knights to take up additional guard duties around the supply houses. The last thing we need is any supplies going missing this late into winter.” 

“Of course.” 

Arthur knew he was stalling. He needed to talk to Leon about what he walked in on. But the idea of talking to the other man about it made Arthur squirm just to think about it. 

“Sire. About earlier.” Leon said, choosing to start the conversation for them both “I promise you I will not say a word.” 

“I know Leon.”  Arthur took another deep sip of wine. “Merlin is no longer in my employ.” 

“Oh.” Leon looked away.

“He was a useless servant and he was meant to secure the room. He was never following orders and so this was just the last failure.” Arthur said, not making eye contact with Leon. “He … we had an arrangement for some time now. It is also over.” 

Leon didn’t say anything but his face did something strange. Arthur for once couldn’t read the man. He coughed, clearing his throat before speaking. “You speak of it as if it was something rather… casual then.” 

“Oh yes.” Arthur replied quickly. “It was just a bit of … stress relief. The life of a prince can be rather trying after all.” He drank more of his wine. “Though I won't lie that it was a fun way to go about it. Merlin, if mostly useless, was good at one thing.” He smirked at Leon. 

“Right sire.” Leon stood up then. “I must be getting back to my duties.” He headed towards the door. 

“Of course.” Arthur said, “Oh if you could on your way down tell the steward to set George up as my new manservant.” 

Leon stopped. “What?”

“Well I need a new servant. And despite his boring demeanour he is the best servant in the castle.” He said. “So if you could it would save me a trip.”

“Of course Sire.” Leon said slowly, “Anything else.”

“Yes I am going to be running extra training for the knights, let them know if you could gather at the training grounds within the hour.”

“Yes Sire.” Leon said and left.

Arthur stared at the fire; it had died down now to nothing more than some embers. He needed to head down to the armory and get into his training armour. It would take more time without a servant assisting him but he needed to hit something. 

He took a deep final swig of his wine before throwing the rest over the fire. 

-x-x-x-

Arthur was doing just fine without Merlin. Fine. In fact, better than fine. 

George was a much better servant. He turned up on time. He knocked before entering Arthur’s chambers, because unlike another servant Arthur could name George knew his place. George was efficient, and competent, and by the gods was he dull. 

Arthur had been rather sharp with George the first few days of his service and George had just calmly continued his work with no comment other than a curt apology for whatever Arthur had complained about. Arthur actually started to feel bad about that, George was not who he was mad at. So he had tried over the next week to get to know George better, asking him about his family, or hobbies. George had a mother in the town, her name was Aglila, that was all he had gotten. He liked to work. He spent his evenings cleaning armour. It was like drawing blood from a stone. 

George’s insistence on professionalism was driving Arthur mad. 

“If there are no other tasks you require me for this evening I will take my leave.” George said, with a small bow. 

“One moment George.” Arthur said, from where he was sitting by his desk reading over a few reports about recent grain robberies in the lower city. Arthur leaned back and looked at George smiling to try and put him more at ease. “Are you happy in your position?”

“Of course my lord. It is an honour.” George said without hesitation. 

“Good good.” Arthur said. “I am pleased with your work. Far better than others I have had before.”

“Thank you my lord.” George said, inclining his head in thanks, but not rising to the bait to make a comment about Merlin. 

“Seriously fantastic in comparison to my old servant. Night and day really.”

“Thank you my lord.”

Arthur sighed. “Do you have any opinions on other members of staff George?” Giving up on any kind of subtlety. 

“I know the steward and King have been diligent in hiring only the best staff for the castle.” He said as though reading from a script. 

Arthur abandoned all tack. “Do you think Merlin is useless?”

For the first time something flicked over George’s face. He got it under control though so fast that Arthur could not make out what it could have meant. “I believe he was hired for his loyalty and good actions.” He didn’t say he thought he was a good servant, Arthur noted. 

“Very diplomatic George.” Arthur said.

“Sorry my lord.” George said, bowing again.

Arthur sighed and waved his hand. “You may go now.”

George dipped another bow before leaving and softly shutting the door behind him. 

Arthur slumped back in his chair. Why had he goaded the man? If Arthur allowed himself to be honest for this moment he could admit that he just wanted to talk about Merlin with someone. Even if that was to just bitch about how useless he had been. It might help the guilt Arthur felt about how he had handled things. If Merlin was useless and everyone agreed, then Arthur letting him go wouldn’t be an act of anger or fear, it would have been justified. 

Arthur rubbed his face. He didn’t miss him. He hadn’t been asking the other knights or servants if Merlin had been seen and if so what he had been doing. He hadn’t been wondering what he was doing when he was not working with Gaius. No, because that would be stupid. Merlin was his former servant and nothing else!

Arthur turned back to the documents. It wasn’t as bad as it could be. The robberies had been small and with Spring approaching they should soon be able to replace the missing wheat with other early spring crops. He started drafting up new patrols, as well as mixing up guard pairings. He didn’t want to believe one of his knights had aided people in stealing from the storehouse but it appeared to be the only explanation. 

He worked on it for another hour before snubbing out the candle and heading to bed. 

He reached under the pillow and pulled a small piece of fabric out. Merlin had left his neckerchief one of the times they had fucked on Arthur’s bed. Arthur had intended to give it back to him the next day. But he hadn’t. Now a month later and Merlin being gone Arthur found himself craving it. He pressed his face into the fabric. In the dark with no one to see he could allow his pathetic instincts to take over. 

The smell on the fabric was so faint by now it wasn’t really there. But the fabric itself was enough, knowing it was Merlin’s, and that he had worn it while the two of them had made love   sex. It had been one of their moments of passion. They’d been arguing as normal then Merlin had pushed Arthur onto the bed and Arthur had flipped them over and kissed him to breathlessness. Neither had bothered fully undressing in their haste to get to the good part. Arthur had fucked him so well the fabric had come loose and slipped under the bed. Where Arthur had found it later. The memory of pressing Merlin into the bed came flooding back to him.

Arthur’s cock filled, he started to rub it quickly. It wasn’t going to take long and he knew that. He rolled onto his back to allow better access and groaned into the fabric as he pressed it into his face with his other hand. 

“Merlin.” He gasped out as he finished cumming over his hand. 

He lay there panting. Arm over his face still clasping the neckerchief. 

“Fuck.”

He dropped his arm and just stared at the canopy. 

“What the fuck am I doing?” 

-x-x-x-

Gwaine hit the ground with an oof. 

“Need to work on your footing.” Arthur said, looking down at Gwaine, a practice sword pointed at his chest. 

Gwaine glared at him as he pushed the blade aside and stood up. 

“Who’s next.” Arthur called. All the knights looked away, several were rubbing bruises and scrapes from their previous spars with Arthur. 

“Really.” Arthur rolled his eyes at them. “Percival.” He pointed at the man with the sword. 

Percival heaved a sigh and lumbered over to the training circle. 

Arthur danced around the larger man for several minutes, Percival did get in a few good hits but eventually was disarmed. Arthur hit the back of his hand with the flat of the blade as he did, causing Percival to yelp in pain at the hit. He rubbed back of his hand muttering swears as he returned to the line of knights. 

“Right next. Elyan.” 

“Sire.” Leon spoke up. “Maybe we should call it a day?”

“Why?” Arthur said, bouncing on his feet. 

“We’ve been out here for 5 hours, sire.” Leon replied.

“So?” Arthur said, “What are you all, a bunch of children not able to hack a longer training session.” He mocked.

“What got up his ass?” Elyan muttered quietly.

“I think it's more who hasn’t been getting any ass?” Gwaine murmured back. 

Lancelot tried to stifle a laugh Arthur heard. 

“Thank you for volunteering.” He smiled wickedly. 

“Oh come on I wasn’t even the one making jokes!” Lance complained.

“Jokes?” Arthur said, his face falling into a frown. “Who is making jokes?” He turned to look at the others. Everyone started to look in different directions, not meeting his eyes. “If you all think that training to protect your kingdom is so funny you all clearly have far too much energy left. So running should help them. Everyone four laps of the yard.”

Groans went up from the assembled knights. “NOW!” He barked. They started to move, running tiredly around the area. Percevel bumped into Gwaine, tripping him. 

“Hey what was that for!?” He yelled as he scrambled back up.

“Princess is already tense, you didn’t need to goad him.” Percival replied. 

“It's true though.” Gwaine said, catching up to the group. “He needs to get laid. Sort out his anger issues.” 

“I think it's just that he doesn't have anyone to bully anymore.” Elyan said, “Without Merlin he is picking on everyone else.”

“It could be both.” Lancelot said.

“You thinking he was bulling Merlin while they fucked?” Percival snorted. “Be in character.” 

“No!” Lancelot said. “I mean he is not getting laid and he has no one to bully. He used to get out his frustration on Merlin, now he is putting it on us.” 

“Leon, you know him best. What's your take on why his highness is being so bitchy?” Elyan asked. 

Leon had been pointedly ignoring the conversation. “I'm sure he is just worried about the grain thefts and trying to make sure we are all adequately prepared incase it turns violent.” 

“Oh sure.” Gwaine drawled, “Cause half starved peasants are really gonna be such a struggle we need to be training night and day to fight them.” 

“Maybe we should try to get Arthur to bully George.” Lancelot suggested. 

“No.” Leon said sharply drawing the others' attention. “It wont work.” He continued while trying to avoid their looks. Focusing on running.

“Oh why?” Percival said back smirking.

“George is a good servant.” Leon said quickly. “He works hard and unlike Merlin rarely does anything that means Arthur would punish him.” 

“I guess you’re right.” Gwaine moaned. “Also boring so doesn’t push back. Which I pretty sure was most of the reason Arthur bullied Merlin in the first place.” 

They finished the laps and panting stood before Arthur. 

“Great now-” Arthur started but something caught his eye. “What is that?” He pointed to the south tower. Halfway up smoke was pouring out of the window. “FIRE!” He yelled. 

The men burst into action grabbing buckets of water and with Arthur at the front hurried towards the tower steps. 

Arthur reached the stairs and took them two at a time bursting into the room where the smoke had been coming from. 

To find it empty and cold

The air still had the smell of fire and the tapestries were scorched, with a few burned so badly they were barely recognisable. But no fire remained. 

“What?” Arthur said as he looked around. 

A few knights had reached the room now and seemed equally confused. 

Arthur noticed a gleam of something on the floor by some of the damaged crates 

Bending, he picked up a small golden hair pin. 

“Did you find something, my lord?” One of the knights inquired.

“No.” He said and pocketed a gold hair pin. 

Chapter Text

The flames erupted all around and started to quickly spread to boxes. Smoke started to fill the room. 

“Morgana!” Gwen yelled. “Stop it! Put it out!” 

“I can't!” Morgana replied, the anger replaced with fear in an instance. She shrunk back into the wall pulling Gwen with her and trying to protect her from the flames. “I don't know how to control it!” 

Gwen started to try to move towards the exit but the flames had spread and were now blocking the exit. “We’re trapped!” She cried out. 

“I'm sorry!” Morgana said, tears in her eyes. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I'm so sorry.” 

Merlin was looking around frantically. He was looking for another way out. The window was far too high off the ground to jump out. The door was rapidly being engulfed in flames. There were no other ways in or out. He looked over at Morgana and Gwen huddled together tears streaming down their faces. He didn’t have any other choice. 

“Ic I steppe Bǣl” He yelled eyes flashing golden. He moved his hands spinning around pointing at the blaze. As he did the flames reduced and then were extinguished. 

Breathing heavily as he finished smoke entering his lungs and causing him to cough. He doubled over slightly.

“MERLIN?” Gwen called. “WHAT?”

He snapped up and looked at them both. Terror filled him. 

“Not here!” Morgana said quickly. She grabbed Gwen’s hand. “We cannot be found here!” 

She rushed to the door before stopping. “YOU!” She pointed at Merlin. “Are coming with us.” 

“But-” 

“Not here!” She said, leaving no room for argument. “We have to hurry, the smoke will have drawn attention.” 

The three took off running. Reaching the bottom of stairs and bolting along the corridor. They turned the corner just in time to hear a group of people start to rush up the stairs they just left. They reached Morgana’s rooms and entered, locking the door behind them. 

The three stood panting. Merlin leaned against the wall for support looking over at the two women who still had each other's hands clasped. 

Morgana straightened up and brushed her dress with her hands to flatten it back out. She then turned her gaze on Merlin. Eyes staring daggers at him. 

“Do you believe me now that I won’t tell anyone your secret?” Merlin said, not breaking her gaze. 

“Yes I do.” She replied.

“You have magic Merlin!” Gwen said, looking at him with big sad eyes. “Why by the gods are you living in Camelot?” 

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. “I was originally sent here to see Gaius. I needed to learn control and my mum thought being with him would help.” He sighed heavily. “But then I discovered I was needed here. I have these powers and I have the responsibility to help with them where I can.” 

“But the danger!” Gwen took a step towards him like he wanted to hug him but held herself back. “Merlin if you are discovered you will be killed!” 

“I know. But -” He cut himself off. How is he supposed to explain that a dragon told him his destiny is to stay and make Arthur a great king without sounding mad. “But I just couldn’t let this kingdom be attacked. Risk Arthur being hurt when I know I can prevent it. It would have been wrong to not. I have to protect him, protect this kingdom! I was made to do this.” 

There was a silence that followed his words. Then Morgana walked towards him. Her eyes assessing him. 

“What sort of threats?” She asked.

“I have stopped magic users harming both Arthur and Uther on multiple occasions.” He began. “I am dispelled enchantments. I’ve save Arthur’s life from threats as small as wolves and as large as armies. I have sacrificed my own safety on multiple occasions.” He was standing tall now. It felt good to finally speak it all. To let someone other than Gaius know his true dedication. He had stepped forward while he talked now standing in the middle of the room nearer the women. 

“And you did all this despite the risk to yourself? Knowing that if you got caught you would most certainly get put to death?” Morgana asked. Merlin nodded. “Why? What do you want out of all this Merlin?”

“Nothing.” He replied.

“Oh come on, there must be something? You have to have something motivating you. Why do all of that? It can't just be because of a sense of duty.”

“I do it for Arthur.”

“Why?” She pressed. 

Merlin looked down at the ground and felt his body tense. “Because I believe in him. I believe he will be a great king. That he will bring us into a golden age.”

“Is that the only reason?” She looks closely at him. 

Merlin doesn’t answer but keeps his eyes fixed on the ground.

“Where did you learn your magic Merlin?” Morgana said after a moment. 

“I didn’t.” He replied following her as she started to circle him. 

“Everyone learns.” Morgana said, “it is one of the ‘rules’, every sorcerer learns magic.” 

“I was born with it.” Merlin insisted, “You’ve met my mother, she would tell you that I was levitating items while still in my crib.” He turned to look at Gwen. “You have to believe me I never studied magic. I am magic.” 

“I… do believe you Merlin.” Gwen replied and for a second her gaze flashed to Morgana. Morgana was still looking stern but there was something underneath that looked like it wanted so badly to break out. 

“I know you're scared of your powers Morgana.” Merlin said, turning back to her. “I was once scared of mine. But there is nothing inherently evil about magic.” He spoke with urgency, willing her to not see him as a threat.

“I know that!” She snapped, “I have powers, but I have no desire to do harm with them.” She looked at him. “But everything I have been told. Everything in my life has been about how this thing I have, this thing I am ....” She cuts off again.

“You should tell him Morgana.” Gwen spoke softly. 

Morgana finally looked away from Merlin, her eyes meeting Gwen’s, a pleading, desperate look in them. “He understands.” She continued. 

Merlin waited looking between the two. Finally Morgana sighed and whispered so quietly Merlin barely heard it. “I was also born with powers.” She seemed terrified of the omission. “I started to have dreams, vision of things when I was a small child. I could never understand them. Then as time went on, I could do things. Impossible things.” 

Gwen moved to her and held her arm in comfort. Morgana looked like finally speaking it aloud physically hurt. 

“But you can’t control it.” Merlin said. 

“No. I have always tried to bury it down. It is unnatural, they say. And it is so dangerous.” She was shaking now. Gwen led her to sit on the side of the bed and knelt down before her clasping her hands. It was intimate, and caring. Merlin almost felt he was intruding on them. “If anyone found out, if Uther found it. Not even being his ward would save me.”

Merlin approached carefully not wanting to scare her. “I understand your fear. Probably better than anyone. But magic cannot be suppressed like that forever. Trust me I would know. It will find a way to manifest.” 

Morgana sat trying to hold herself still but a faint tremor was shaking her despite it. “I know.” She  spoke. “It’s been getting more and more powerful. I have been dreaming more often and things like today. Keep happening.” Tears started to fall from her eyes as she lost the battle for control. 

“I know you're scared, and you have every right to be, given the kingdom we live in.” Merlin stood before her now. “But you can't bottle up your powers like this. It will only hurt you more and may hurt others.” 

“But I don’t know how to wield it!” Morgana was sobbing now. 

Gwen embraced her softly stroking her hair. “I know it’s scary. I am so sorry my Lo-” She cut herself off looking towards Merlin. He offered a small smile and she relaxed. “My love.” Gwen kissed her hands. “I have an idea though.” 

Morgana made a small sound of question while still crying.

“Merlin you said you are here to protect Arthur and the city right?” She said,

“Yessss….” Merlin said, raising an eyebrow at Gwen.

“You need to therefore be close to the royal family then.” She smiled, “Morgana, you said that I really shouldn't carry the heavy wood and buckets up to your chambers all by myself?”

“I did.” Morgana said looking at her strangely, “Last week I mentioned it but what does that-” She cut off then smiled. “Oh that’s an idea.” 

“What is?” Merlin said worried now. Both women were looking at him.

“Well Merlin, how do you feel about becoming my servant?” Morgana said. Her eyes were still watery  but she was regaining composure, her court mask slipping back in place.

“What?” Merlin said, stepping back in surprise.

“It will be perfect!” Gwen said. “You get to remain in the royal household. Being able to stay close to Arthur.” She smirked knowingly before continuing. “And it would give the perfect cover for you to teach Morgana how to control her magic.” 

“Wait! I teach! What?” Merlin frantically flailed his arms. 

“I make sure that you could be at banquets and around meetings I am in so you would keep up with any threats happening.” Morgana said. “And if you are with me in my chamber as long as Gwen is here no one will think it strange. You're severing me afterall?” 

“I’ve never taught magic before?” Merlin said. 

“Please Merlin.” Morgana stood up and walked towards him. She grabbed his hand. “I am desperate. You are the only person I have met like me. Born with magic. Hiding who they are here. And wanting to see this kingdom better.” She pleaded with him. “I know it is a lot to ask but I promise I will do everything in my power to help you. I’ll give you wealth, a larger room, anything you could want for.”

“I don’t need anything.” Merlin said he didn’t step back or remove his hand though. “I .. I-”

“I’ll try and help you and Arthur!” She threw out.

“What?!” Merlin squawked.

“I know that you care for him. I don’t know what happened but everyone in the castle knows you two are fighting.” She said. 

“We— were not fighting. He just dismissed me.”

“Sure.” Morgana said, waving her hands dismissively. “Either way I can attempt to help you back into his service in the future. Once I have my powers better under control. Please Merlin.”

Merlin paused looking between Morgnana pleading face and Gwen’s look of hope. He sighed. “I will help you.” Then he added, “But right now I want to stay away from Arthur’s service. He ordered me away and I am so mad at him I don't want to be near him right now.”

Morgana sagged with relief. “Thank you.”  Then smiled. “I’ll make sure to keep Arthur away then. For now.” 

Gwen launched herself forward and hugged Merlin. “Thank you!” 

“I am not sure how much use I will be. I’ve never been a good student, let alone teacher but I will do my best.” Merlin joked. 

The two women smiled at him. 

“I’ll let Uther know i have taken you on as a servant tomorrow.” Morgana said. 

Merlin thought that it wasn’t Uther he was worried about. He knew that Arthur would not be pleased when he learned of Merlin’s new employment. 

-x-x-x-

Arthur was not pleased. The first time Morgana had walked into the great hall with Merlin behind her. He had nearly spat out his wine in surprise. Merlin had stifled a laugh and taken his place behind her left shoulder and served her wine throughout the meal. Arthur had vocally protested to Morgana about his presence which she had ignored. Merlin quietly felt rather smug. 

About halfway through the dinner Arthur had turned to face him and Merlin couldn’t resist he had smiled and winked at him. Arthur looked like if it hadn’t been for his father next to him he would have jumped up and grabbed him. Merlin had just smiled wider. 

After that though Merlin had decided it would be wise to avoid Arthur. He didn’t actually want to get in a fight with him if he could. Also seeing him that close had stirred something up inside Merlin’s chest. He felt pleased to have riled him up, but also sad that it was only looks and nothing more that they had shared that evening. Arthur hadn’t said a word to him. About him yes but not to him.

Merlin tried to put it out of his mind and focus on his new duties. He was enjoying having more to do again. Even if it wasn’t exactly easy work. But at least within her chambers Merlin was free to use magic more openly to assist in lighting fires and filling baths. Morgana watched him closely as he worked and inquired about how he did it all so naturally. They agreed they wouldn’t start formal lessons right away as it would be safer to not conduct them within the castle to start with. But she was picking up from observation and often Merlin would catch her trying to mimic his hand movements or muttering the spells. 

It was around a week into his new job that the weather had broken and a gloriously sunny day came to Camelot. It was just what they had been waiting for. Gwen had gone to the kitchens and asked for a picnic to be prepared for Morgana as she wanted to go out into the country to eat that day. Morgana had Merlin tack up the horses for the three of them and they had ridden out into the woods. Far beyond anyone's prying eyes. 

They chose a small clearing by a creek and while Gwen set up the blanket and food Merlin and Morgana sat facing each other on rocks by the stream. 

“As I said before I have never taught before but I think the best place to start would be to get you to just feel your magic.” Merlin began

Morgana nodded but also looked confused. “Ok how do I do that?” 

“Close your eyes.” Merlin instructed. She did. “Now to start I want you to remember you are safe. No one else is around, if anything goes wrong I can fix it. You are in control and safe.” Morgana nodded and her posture relaxed. “Now I want you to focus within, magic flows through us. It’s like a river ebbing with power. It isn’t always clear what direction it is going so don't try to shape it, just follow its flow through you.” 

Morgana’s brow furrowed. 

“Breath slowly, try to just tune out everything else.” 

Morgana did so and then she straightened. “I feel it!” 

“Great.” Merlin smiled, “Now just allow yourself to be taken by the current within. Let it flow through you as it wishes.”

“But what if-”

“You're safe.” Merlin reassured, “Nothing bad will happen.” 

Morgana nodded again. Slowly a faint glow could be seen under her closed eyelids. It grew and eventually she almost looked like she was glowing. 

“You’re doing a great job.” Merlin was in awe, she really was doing so well, this level control was vastly different from the last time he saw her tap into her magic. “Now I want you to try and use this magic.”

“What?” Morgana said, her eye-glow fading. 

“It’s only going to be a simple spell but I think you can do this.” Merlin spoke. “Hold your hand out in front of you and repeat after me. Lēohtsāwend” A ball of light formed in Merlin’s hand

Morgana took a deep breath, held out her hand and repeated “lēohtsāwend” It took a moment but then a similar ball of light formed in her palm as well. Merlin beamed. 

Gwen gasped from where she had been watching in awe. 

“What? Did I do it?” Morgana asked worriedly as the light flickered.

“Open your eyes.” Merlin said. 

She did and was stunned. “I … I cast that?”

“Yes.” Merlin smiled at her, “You are doing great.” He started to cause his own ball to flow around his hand moving it this way and that. “Eventually you will be able to move it freely but for now just focus on trying to raise it up. Push your magic through it and will it rise.” He showed her by making his own ball of light float up above his palm until it was level with his face. 

Morgana focused and although it wobbled it did slowly rise up until it was level with Merlin’s. 

“Excellent! Now we are going to dispel it. Turn your hand over and flick it while thinking about the magic returning into you.” He displayed the action and his ball faded away. 

Morgana nodded and repeated the actions and her ball disappeared. She beamed. “I did it!” 

“You did.” Merlin was so proud of her it really was incredible how quickly she had picked up the skill. “I am impressed.”

“That was amazing!” Gwen said in awe. She had approached them both and leant down to kneel beside them. “I’ve never seen magic like that.” 

“Gwen!” Morgana turned to her excitedly. “You saw I controlled it! It was within my power! I did it and nothing went wrong.” She was nearly bouncing. She lent over and kissed Gwen on the cheek. 

“Morgana!” Gwen blushed and turned her face embarrassed. “Merlin is right here.”

“Oh like he cares.” Morgana said, but she turned back to him and pulled him into a tight hug. Merlin flailed in surprise. “Thank you Merlin. I cannot express how much of a relief it is to know I can stay in control.”

Merlin patted her back and said, “You really did do very well. It’s only the first lesson we got a lot to go over but if you keep it up you will be a master of your magic in no time.” She pulled back and the two smiled at each other. 

“I think this was enough for today.” Morgana said, “Let's eat.” She stood and offered a hand to Gwen and helped her up. They three settled on the blanket and quietly ate food. Occasionally Gwen would ask a question about magic or Morgana would openly wonder about uses for the spell she had learnt. But the afternoon passed peacefully. Merlin couldn’t think of a time since being in Camelot he felt so completely relaxed

-x-x-x-

Arthur was making it very hard to avoid him. He had started to ‘randomly’ find him at inopportune times. He is just there when Merlin is doing talks for Gauis or when he is running along corridors to get wood or water for Morgana. He also started acting weird… 

Arthur has been asking about him alot according to Gwen. Enquiring how he is doing in his new position. Also Lance had mentioned he keeps forgetting parts of the gear and more than once started to blame Merlin before seeming to remember Merlin is not his servant anymore. 

Also during the dinners he had been attempting to get Merlin to serve him more and more. This culminated in the recent dinner where George was away for some reason. Merlin had been drafted to serve the knights and Arthur had decided to sit with them that evening. Merlin had tried to stay away but Arthur kept calling him. 

Merlin was holding it together; he had responded to Arthur’s jabs and he’d largely been able to keep his head and not say anything too snarky. Then towards the end of the dinner he had been pouring ale for Gwaine who was seated next to Arthur when a hand ran up Merlin’s thigh. Merlin froze and shuddered. The hand went higher and just grazed the outline of Merlin’s cock. Merlin made a small moaning noise. His eyes moved to look at Arthur and saw him smirk and lick his lips. 

Merlin lurched up and spilled the ale over Gwaine. 

“What the hell!” Gwaine called out. Before looking at Merlin who was retreating quickly. “You ok Merlin?”

“Umm. No actually I think I ummm. I am coming down with something.” He was clutching the jug in front of him, his cock had fully reacted to the contact. “I'm gonna just find Gaius and umm take something to make me better.”

He all but ran out of the room. Not putting down the jug of ale until he reached his chambers. 

“Merlin are you alright?” Gaius looked up from his own dinner. “Your bright red?”

“I’m fine. I'm just tired gonna go to bed.” Merlin said quickly moving into his room slamming the door after him.

He barely finished closing it before he shoved his hand down his breaches and took himself in hand. He couldn’t get the look on Arthur’s face out of his mind. He looked so hungry at him. Like he wanted to have Merlin right there. Merlin had seen Arthur excited or seen him when he had desired him. But that desperate want was new. 

Merlin bit his lip to stop from crying out as he finished and wiped his hand off on a cloth by his water basin. He then collapsed face first on the bed. 

“FUCKKKKKKK” His arousal fading anger started to build in him.

What the hell was Arthur playing at! He had ended things because it was ‘too dangerous’ and ‘too risky’ and yet now he is doing this! What the hell did he want!

-x-x-x-

Merlin and Gwen were tidying up Morgana’s chambers when Morgana came storming in.

She slammed the door and pointed at Merlin. 

“What? What did I do?” Merlin said holding up his hands

“Nothing. You have been reassigned.” 

“What!” Merlin yelled.

“Arthur has demanded you serve him during the grand spring hunt.” Morgana stated. 

“No, I refuse.” He said, “I hate hunts. He thinks I am useless, why would he want me there.” 

“He is instant.” Morgana said, “I couldn’t convince him to pick someone else and so you are doing this.”

Merlin looked to Gwen for support but she just shrugged. “It’s only one day.”

“I thought you were hoping to get back into his service anyway.” Morgana said, picking up a mug of wine. 

Merlin sighed. “At some point I just wanted more time after … how things ended.” 

Morgana raised an eyebrow at him but Gwen put a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“You will be ok Merlin. How bad could one hunt go?” Gwen said. 

Looking back Merlin would decide that this statement is what caused the gods to take that as a challenge. 

Chapter Text

Arthur was fuming mad. 

How dare Morgana steal Merlin. 

Why would anyone even want Merlin to be their servant? He certainly didn’t?

He’d watched him walk into the hall and serve Morgana. Barely looking over at Arthur even once. He looked smug! How dare he look so smug! He had winked at Arthur! And then smirked about it! 

This was unacceptable and his father had to stop this.

“I am not getting involved.” Uther said as Arthur entered his rooms. 

“But father! Morgana has stolen my servant!” Arthur said.

“If I recall correctly.” Uther said not looking up from his papers. “You dismissed the boy from your service.”

“Well yes. But that doesn’t mean Morgana can just take him.” 

“I think you will find that is exactly what she can do.” Uther rubbed his brow. “As I said I am not getting involved in your petite fighting over some servant. You can talk to Morgana about it. If you want him back you have to get her to give him up.”

“I don't want him back!” Arthur huffed.

“Then what are you complaining about boy!” Uther snapped losing patients with his son. “If you don’t want Merlin in your service and Morgana does for some reason want to then leave it alone. Move on and ignore him.” He turned back to his papers. “Now get out I don't want to hear your whining anymore.”

-x-x-x-

Arthur threw himself into the grain storage situation. He had figured out how to balance the remaining supplies and through some creative embellishment of the size of their new season hunt and feast, had convenience the neighbouring towns to send additional supplies. This should keep them through to the first harvest. 

He also relatively quickly worked out which of his knights had been allowing the thieves in. Sir Greenmere was from a lesser house and was a fourth son. He’d been taking bribes from a man in the lower cites to supplement his drinking habit. The man who had been paying him would come in at night and take one or two bags of flour each time. Over the course of several weeks he had stolen enough flour for it to just about be noticeable. That man was currently in a cell in front of Arthur.

“Are you Finnian?” Arthur said as he walked up to the bars. 

The man lazily looked up from where he slouched against the far wall. “You must be the prince. How nice of you to grace a humble thief with your present.” 

“You're very welcome.” Arthur said, smirking at the man. “I am here to find out what you did with the flour. It was too much for one man to consume so you must have stored it somewhere. Tell me what you did with it?”

“Oh and why should I do that?” He looked up at Arthur. “I am gonna face the gallows. Why tell you anything?”

“You’re going to die, what are you going to use the flour for?” Arthur replied.

“You assume I even still have it.” He looked at Arthur. “Why would I keep 30 bags of flour? I sold them.”

“To who?”

“Oh what the noble prince gonna ride into the lower city and take bread from the mouths of the little people?” He sneered, “You want to cause a riot?” 

“I need to know who has been buying stolen goods.”

“You assume they knew it was stolen.” 

“Someone turns up with 30 bags of flour all bearing the royal crest? Yes I assume they did know.”  Arthur leant against the wall opposite the bars.

The man laughed. “You really are privileged. Living in your castle looking down at the commoners. You have no idea what it's really like out there do you?” The question put Arthur onto the wrong footing. “The poor down there are struggling through a harsh winter. Supplies not being sent out. Held back so the nobles on the hill can still have their luxuries.” 

“The food wasn’t for us. It was for the people.” Arthur said.

“Sure, some of it. But a lot is reserved for you and your knights.” He spat the words. “I am gonna be put to death for taking a few dosen bags but you hold back hundreds from your own people. So you can feast the new season.”

“The food gets distributed.” Arthur said again but he was thinking about the figures he had read before. It had notes of flour being sent out and there was a lot that was sent to the castle. But there was a distribution spot in the castle for the staff and families. That was why right?

“You sound very sure.” Finnian said. 

“So what, you are some folk hero. Stealing to feed the poor?” 

“Hff. No” Finnian said. “But I’m not making as much off it as you would suspect. Desperate peasants don’t exactly have much money to throw around. I make enough to make it worth it. But if I really wanted to make money I would have sold it to a barracks or to a monastery. They pay a lot more for additional supplies. Allow them to eat better, have a few more parties.” He leant forward now looking Arthur in the eye. “The poor, the real poor people, those that have nothing left, had a bad harvest, or got hurt and can't work right now, those who are not desirable people. They don’t get their allocations or if they do, bits go missing. So they come to me. They don’t ask where it comes from, they don’t care. They have little to nothing. So I sell them enough that they can hope to make it to spring. That their children can make it to spring.” 

Arthur stayed quiet because he wanted to see lies in Finnian, see that it isn’t right. But is it possible that he is just this unaware? That in Camelot children might stave? 

“So you want me to give up their names. Do you know what the punishment will be?” He sneered. “They cut off the hands of those who aid thieves. Those that knowingly buy from them are normally treated the same. Fuck you I will never give them up. I might be a thief but I wont see them punished for not starving.” 

Arthur was shook, he knew that people did loose hands, of course he did, but he just never really thought about it. Never really allowed himself to think about why a person might end up in the position to have to steal bread or buy flour from a crook. 

“You look surprised, little prince.” Finnian said, “Out of curiosity what will happen to the Knight, who took my money to let me in?” 

“He will be punished.” Arthur said, trying to keep his voice strong. 

“How?” 

“He is to be flogged and removed from duty.” 

“So I die, a starving peasant would lose a limb. But the knight gets whipped and sent home. Seems fair. Seems just.” Finnian slumped back against the wall. “I am to die. I am not a good man Arthur Pendragon, I have stolen and lied and scraped and fought to stay alive in this kingdom. But there is nothing you could say that would compel me to give up my fellow peasants, those who struggle to carve out a life.” He took a deep breath before again meeting Arthur’s eyes. “So get the fuck out of my sight.” 

-x-x-x-

Arthur decided to try and distract himself with other things. Throwing himself harder into training. He also decided to give up any pretense that he was not stalking Merlin. He was too tired to pretend to not want to know where he was or who he was with. He started to ask Gwen if she had seen him and how he was settling into his new role. She had seemed surprised by his questions but had dutifully answered them. 

Merlin was pretty much always where he expected. Either in Gaius rooms, Morgana’s rooms, or moving between these places. He seemed fine. Working his job with about the same level of effort he had worked for Arthur. He seemed happy. Arthur felt strange about that.

He also decided that sitting with the knights was a much nicer way to spend an evening then sitting at the high table. It also meant that if Gwen was serving Morgana, Merlin would be nearer to him. George still served him most nights but at least Merlin was nearby. He could make sure he was alright. See who he was talking to and if he was talking about Arthur. 

Then one night he got an opportunity. George had been trying to conceal a cough all day. Arthur ordered him to take an evening off. Much to the man's consternation. So that evening he knew Merlin would be serving him and the other knights. 

Arthur enjoyed having the man bringing him drinks. He could at least pour ale without spilling anything on either himself or Arthur. 

“Merlin.” He waved him over. Merlin rushing between the knights rolled his eyes and moved towards him. “I'm dying over here Merlin. Hurry Up.” Merlin sighed but moved faster. Reaching him and pouring the liquid into Arthur’s goblet. Arthur smirked. “Finally. I thought I would perish before you got over here.” 

“Sorry my lord.” Merlin said, “I was slightly busy doing the work of 2 servants and you have been particularly thirsty tonight.” He sassed. 

“No excuses Merlin. I’ve seen George easily fulfil his duties.” He smirked at Merlin. “And he never complains.” 

He wasn’t quite sure what Merlin said but he muttered something and Arthur chuckled. He drank his ale probably faster then he should and waved Merlin over again. 

Merlin raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment and Arthur grinned. “That's better Merlin much faster this time.”

“Arrr lay off him Princess.” Gwaine said, “Merlin is a wonderful serving girl. Morgana thought so enough to take him on as a lady in waiting.” 

Several of the knights laugh. Arthur scowled into his drink, taking a heavy swig. Merlin smirked and said “She is great to work for. Very kind. Takes my advice when offered. I couldn't imagine a better noble to work for.” He grinned at Arthur. 

Arthur didn’t quite growl but it was a near thing. He focused on finishing his food and drink. The night continued. He continued to snark at Merlin. The little shit kept smirking, but never fully rose to the bait. It was infuriating. He wasn’t blushing or stuttering. Even when Arthur started to ramp up the comments. Asking him how he was fairing without his constant attention. The ass had just smiled sweetly and said, “I am fairing fine without it. Better actually. Not had anything thrown at me in weeks.” The Knights had laughed at him, at their prince. He would remember that during tomorrow's training. 

He was starting to lose patients. His cup was once again empty and Merlin was currently smiling and chatting to Gwaine while filling up his goblet instead. 

He was so close. His slim frame right there. His hand moved before he could fully think what he was doing. Under the table cloth he reached out and found Merlin’s leg. The touch was light but in no way innocent. He felt the reaction right away. Merlin’s frame stiffened. But he didn’t step back. A slight shudder went over his frame. Arthur smirked and moved his hand higher, Merlin continued to shake under his touch. His breath quickened. Arthur reached the crease of his trousers and because it was right there and he already lost all control he rubbed the bulge that had formed between Merlin’s legs. The noise Merlin made was divine and he finally looked over to Arthur. His face flushed and eyes blown wide. God Arthur so badly he was gripping the table with his other hand to stop himself. His tongue swiped over his lip as he fought to not lunge forward and kiss the man.

Merlin jumped back. Ale sloshing onto the table and over Gwaine. 

“What the hell!” Gwaine Yelled. Arthur quickly retracted his hand trying to get his own breathing under control. “You ok Merlin?”

“Umm. No actually I think I ummm. I am coming down with something.” He swayed in place and Arthur wanted to stand to steady him but if he had his own arousal would have been very evident. “I'm gonna just find Gauis and umm take something to make me better.”

He ran out the room. Not even stopping to place the jug back down. 

Several knights looked over at the scene. Leon, having noticed the interaction, caught Arthur’s eye and frowned at him before just resting his head in his hands and muttering something Arthur couldn’t hear fully but sounded like “Fucking idiots.” 

-x-x-x-

George was still sick. The spring hunt was rapidly approaching. It only made sense that he needed a servant to assist him during this time. Sure George was well enough now that he had been able to return to duties but clearly he was far too sick to be serving Arthur during the hunt. He needed Merlin. He had proposed this to Uther who made it clear he didn’t care either way.

“If you wish to take the boy you will need to get Morgana to agree.” He had said, “I am once again reiterating I am not getting involved in whatever this competition you two have over this servant.” 

So he had called Morgana to his chambers. 

She had said no. He had argued it was necessary. She had still said no. 

He was upset and he knew he shouldn't have done it but right then he remembered the hair pin in his desk drawer. 

“Where did you get that?” Morgana’s voice wavered as she looked at the pin Arthur had placed on the desk before her. 

“Oh this?” Arthur said, spinning it with a finger. “Just picked it up in the south tower after that weird fire the other day.” 

Morgana scowled but said nothing staring at the pin. 

“I thought. That is a very nice hair piece. There are not many people who own such a fine item.” He met her eyes. “I should keep hold of it. In case someone is missing it.” 

She growled. “What do you want?” 

“Let me have him for this hunt.”

She stared. “That’s it?”

He frowned back. “I mean the fire was a minor one. This seems fair. I don't tell anyone you were there. You let me take Merlin for one hunt.” 

“FINE.” She snatched up the pin. “You can have him for this one hunt. But that is it! And you are not to tell anyone where you found this.” She held up the pin. She stormed out slamming the door after her.

Why was she acting like this one incident was so dire. It must have been a small enough fire that it hadn’t even damaged the floor. She must have just been worried Uther would have been disappointed. Arthur could understand that. 

Arthur smiled though. He was now much more excited for this hunt. 

It helped. He needed something to be happy for. The execution was earlier that day.

He had attended. Uther had read out the man's crimes. People had jeered. Uther didn’t say who Finnian had sold the flour to. Finnian had been silent, even when asked if he had anything to repent for. He was hung and his body was to be displayed by the west gate. 

Arthur watched all of it. He had to. He felt like he needed to see his country's justice in action. He needed to watch that man’s last minutes. He couldn’t tell anyone why if they had asked. He just had to. 

It just felt wrong to him. 

The words Finnian had said hunted him.

“I have stolen and lied and scraped and fought to stay alive in this kingdom.”

How can he believe that his kingdom is good, if his father’s reign is good, if the people, HIS people are so desperate they need to resort to these acts to survive? What can he do? They have such strained relationships with their neighbouring kingdoms that they were reluctant to send even the small amount of food they did to make up for the missing grain. If Arthur wanted to seriously improve his people’s lives this would need to be rectified. But he couldn’t do that yet. His father needed to. But that was as likely as the gods blessing them with no frost and good rain all spring. 

So he needed this hunt! He had to distract himself. Maybe he could donate some of the hunted animals to the lower town. Allow the people to have their own celebration. But he just had to do something to distract himself. Or else he worried what actions he would take.

-x-x-x-

The woods were a buzz with energy. The first day of spring may be arbitrary in some ways. But the forest seemed full of life. Rabbits, dear, partridges, and more. It seemed miraculous how abundant they appeared. 

Arthur had been with the knights but Leon had picked up a cold and his coughing was disrupting the hunt. So he had branched off to stalk a deer on his own. 

The doe was grazing in a clearing. She was a large strong looking doe, fatter then expected for the end of winter. She would make a great centrepiece for the feast.

Arthur steadied the bow and drew back the string. Lining up his shot he took a deep breath.

Merlin stumbled out of a bush to his right. Stepping on a branch causing a huge ruckus. 

The doe startled and feld. Arthur swore and let the shot fly. It hit into a tree where the doe had just been. 

“MERLIN!” He bellowed. 

Merlin startled and dropped the crossbow he was holding. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Arthur said. 

“My job?” Merlin gestured to the various weapons and traps he was attempting to hold. “The one you forced me to do?”

“Well your oafish behaviour scared off the deer!” 

“Oh. Sorry.”  He looked slightly bashful.

“You are just so useless Merlin.” 

Something flipped in Merlin’s eyes. “Really?”

“Yes?”

“Really? Cause Lady Morgana seems to value me.” 

Oh he isn’t. “Don't talk about her.” 

“What no, she is great. I’ve never had a better master really.” 

“Oh we're playing this game now?!”

“What game? I am just complimenting Lady Morgana.”

“Well I've found that George has been a much better servant. He is always on time. Doesn’t talk back. Doesn’t steal my food.” 

“I never stole your sausages.” Merlin said.

“Strange, I never mentioned sausages.” Arthur walked towards him. “But now I have a much better servant.”

“If I really am that useless” Merlin said, rage building in him. “Why on earth did you demand me to be your servant for this stupid hunt.”

Arthur walked up to him and smirked. “I think you know.” He leant forward and kissed Merlin. 

Merlin was warm and soft. Merlin gasped and Arthur took the chance to deepen the kiss. Merlin melted, grabbing the front of Arthur’s shirt and pulling him closer. Arthur groaned, wrapping an arm around Merlin’s waist and letting the bow fall to the ground. 

“Gods I missed this.” Arthur said. 

However, this was the wrong thing to say as Merlin reacted by shoving him away.

Arthur looked at him confused as Merlin scowled. 

“What the fuck do you want from me Arthur?” Merlin said.

“What?” Arthur stepped back like Merlin had hit him.

“First you fire me, and end our… whatever it was. So I follow what you stated. I left, I did as you asked! Then you get all shitty about me working for Morgana and try to do everything to make me serve you again. You start being even more blatant in your affection!” He was panting and looked on the verge of screaming. “You keep requesting me back! After you sacked me! Now this! SO WHAT DO YOU WANT!” 

“I … I had to let you go. It was unsafe. If we were caught you would be -”

“I know Arthur. I would probably be beaten, and maybe Uther would even have me banished. But if we are caught kissing I will likely be treated the same if we are caught having sex.” He was shaking with rage as he matched towards Arthur who started walking backwards away. “I want you. So much Arthur. I am trying so hard everyday to not just come back to you. But I was succeeding because I was trying to do what you told me to! So why are you doing this to me!” 

Arthur was stumped. His back had hit a tree and he was breathing heavily. Merlin had a look he’d never seen before. Determination mixed with frustration and anger, as all wared over Merlin’s face. It should not have been appealing and yet Arthur was having a physical reaction to seeing Merlin this clear about his desires. 

He reached for Merlin again but he sidestepped it. “No. Words Arthur. What do you want?” 

“I… I want…” Arthur paused really thinking about his desires, “I want to feel something real. I can’t explain what it is that makes me need to be near you. But something just compels me. I know it's selfish. I know I shouldn’t push the way I do.” The image of a young man with dark hair hanging from the battlements enters Arthur’s mind. “But I can’t see you hurt. I cannot let you suffer for my actions. But I also struggle to hold back. I want you Merlin. I see you smile and all I want to do is make you do it again. You're annoying as sin and yet I want to keep frustrating you so you can do or say something back at me. It stupid, it's unfair and I know it.” He reached again for Merlin and this time he didn’t step away. Arthur pulled Merlin to him so Arthur could tuck his face into Merlin’s neck. “It’s been hurting me to keep away. I’ve been taking it out of my men, I cannot focus during training. I used to be able to find purpose before I met you. But now I find if you're not around I just feel adrift.” 

They stood there holding each other while both their breathing tried to settle back to normal. 

“So I want you?” Merlin spoke, “And you want me?” Arthur nodded into his shoulder. “But you are worried I will be hurt and you will be forced to protect me or see me suffer.” Arthur nodded again. “Arthur. I can protect myself. I am not unknowingly entering into what we are doing. I also do have ways to look after myself. I’ve not died yet.” 

Arthur pulled him closer. “Don’t be stupid Merlin. What could you possibly do if you were arrested by the guards? I’ve seen you during a fight.”

Merlin stiffened and then huffed. “You have no idea what I could do.” 

“Sure.” Arthur quipped back. This was better, this was safer ground. He knew how to tease Merlin. 

Merlin made another grumpy noise and pulled back a little. He started to say something but when their eyes met his words seemed to be cut off. He licked his lips and then smirked. “I think we don’t need to talk more right now about this.” He then dropped to his knees. 

“Merlin!” Arthur squawked. “What are you doing?”

“Oh. I think you know.” Merlin smiled. He started to work on the front of Arthur’s trousers making quick work of pulling them down enough that he freed Arthur’s member. It was stiff and leaking. Merlin grinned and then without pause took it into his mouth. 

Arthur’s head fell back against the tree with a thump. “Fuuuccckkk.” He groaned. He slid his hand into Merlin’s hair, not pulling or holding him in place, just to have something to hold on to so he was touching Merlin back as Merlin took him apart. It was good. It had been so long since Arthur had last gotten off so he wasn’t gonna last long. “Ugg damn, gods that's so good.” Especially if Merlin keeps doing that with his tongue. 

Merlin pulled off and looked up at Arthur, his eyes filled with glee and mischief. “You ok my lord.” 

“Yes. Merlin now get back to what you were -” He was cut off as Merlin took him fully into his mouth again. “Shit. Fuck. Yes.” 

He looked again at Merlin kneeling before him but still fully in control. It surged something through him. Merlin had the power he could bring pleasure or stop it, he could take Arthur apart or leave him wanting. He chose this. He wanted this. 

That thought was what tipped Arthur over. With a small warning he tried to pull Merlin back but Merlin didn’t move. He shot off into Merlin’s mouth. Merlin let out a deep groan as he did. Trying to swallow down what Arthur released. But a small bit trickled out his mouth and dripped down onto his neckerchief. 

Slowly Merlin pulled off. His eyes were glassie with desire and he smiled up at Arthur. He tucked Arthur back away and then started to stand slightly wobbly and Arthur held onto him to stop him falling. Once stable though Arthur pulled him into a deep kiss. He could taste himself in Merlin’s mouth and it should have been disgusting and yet he just pushed deeper. After a few minutes he pulled back.

“That was fucking amazing.” Arthur breathed. He could feel Merlin’s arousal pressed up against him. “Come here let me get you.” 

Merlin smirked and stepped back to get access to his belt. 

There was a shout from a short way away. They both froze. But no one entered the clearing they were in.

“Shit.” Arthur whispered. He somehow forgot about the hunt, and the many many people running around this wood.  

Merlin was straightening up his clothes and gathering the weapons.

Arthur grabbed his bow and made sure his tunic was properly in place again. 

Merlin started to move past him to move further into the woods. Arthur grabbed him by the waist and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “We will finish this later. I promise.” 

Merlin was blushing and Arthur winked and took off into the woods.

Chapter Text

Merlin took off in the opposite direction to Arthur.

His body was buzzing. He’d propositioned Arthur and it had worked. He was so pleased with himself. Arthur had looked incredible as Merlin had taken him apart. Merlin was smug about the whole experience. Maybe this could try and fix whatever had broken when Leon walked in on them all those weeks ago. Of course there were difficulties but they didn’t need to take it as seriously as Arthur did. This could be fun, light, and secret. Why not just enjoy what is happening right now and worry about the future later. 

He had managed to drop all the weapons he had been carrying around with him with some other knights he had bumped into who ‘needed’ all the gear he had. After that the boredom set in. He really didn’t have much to do on these hunts until people brought back their kills or  needed some specific weapon or trap, and seeing that he had given out all his and he was buzzing, and bored. 

So he took the opportunity to find somewhere quiet and have a nap. He wandered for a few minutes before eventually finding a perfect spot. It was a thicket of bushes where there was a small entrance.He had to duck down to enter but once inside it was dry and warm, and most importantly private. From the outside the clear space within was hidden and it was perfect for Merlin. 

After crawling into the little thicket he settled down with him back to an old tree stump that was in the middle of the space. The ground was dry and soft with leaf litter and the dirt solid underneath. He was asleep almost instantly. 

He woke up with morning wood. 

He was warm and it felt nice and soft in this little space. He hadn’t been able to get off earlier. He was comfortable and no one was going to be able to see him in here. So why not. Thought Merlin. He untucked himself and took himself in hand. He sat up  to give him better access in the small space. He slipped his eyes closed and let the memory of earlier wash over him. Arthur’s words to him about his wants and needs. Needing him, wanting him. He didn’t last long as wound up as he was.

“Arthur.” He cried out as he finished shooting off in front of him. 

His breathing slowed and he slumped back against the stump. It felt so nice here. Too nice. The ground had been soft before but now it felt moss covered underneath him. The sounds of the woods seemed louder than before. It was warmer now, almost a perfect temperature to sleep in. Merlin felt something was just off. He cracked open his eyes. 

Before him knelt a figure. They were about the size of a man. But their features were wrong. Their eyes were a little too bright green in colour and their skin was a golden colour. They were wearing a gown of woven leaves and vines. Upon the beings head were small horns between which a crown of woven bluebells and snowdrops sat. 

The thicket had changed as well. Where before it had been a tangle of brambles above and compacted dirt ground, now it was a lush mossy carpet and woven vines with small white flowers throughout. It was larger than the thicket looked from outside of it. If Merlin hadn’t been transfixed on the figure before him he might have thought it was a pleasant place. 

“Hello Emrys.” The being smiled and their teeth were sharp like a wolfs.

“Who… are you?” Merlin tried to scrabble back but the stump blocked his path. 

“I have gone by many names.” The figure said, “People tend to change their minds over them every few centuries. But you would likely know me as Tardduw.” 

“Tardduw!” Merlin’s eyes went wide. “You must be joking right?” He can’t actually be Tardduw. The figure though just smiled wider, too wide for a normal man with too many teeth. “Oh my god.”

“Yes I believe I am.” Replied the God of Spring. 

Merlin stared at the deity before him. Tardduw got a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “I do tend to find that mortals have this response to me.” He laughed lightly. 

“Please.” Merlin stuttered. “Whatever I did I promise I didn’t mean to incur your ire. I will do whatever you want, please just dont punish me. If it is for the hunt I promise I had nothing to do with it.” 

“Emrys Emrys please you are not in trouble. And why would I be upset at the hunt? I provided the game for it.” He smiled. “I am here because you offered me a blessing.” 

It was at this point that Merlin looked down to see that Tardduw’s hands were out in front of him and resting in his palms was Merlin’s spend. 

“Oh no. I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t trying.”

“You entered my grove. On the first day of my season. You spend your seed onto its sacred grounds. What greater offering could you possibly make?” Tardduw looked pleased and Merlin was filled with a sensation of calm. It washed over him and made him want to smile in return back to the god. “So Emry’s what is it you wish from me?”

The question threw him. “I need nothing.” 

“Need and want are two different things.” The God looked contemplative. “But I can see what you want Emry’s if you don't wish to say it outloud that is fine.” He smirked “And luckily you have brought me the other half I require to fulfil this wish.” He moved the Seed onto one of his hands and reached forward with the other. He swept a finger over Merlin’s neck just under the Neckerchief and came back with a small amount of white fluid. 

He then stood up and walked around Merlin who stumbled to keep facing his God. Tardduw settled upon the stump cross legged. He brought his hands together and started to speak. Words Merlin could not understand. Words that were more like a feeling than a sound. Light shone out of his cupped hands bright golden. Similar to the way Merlin’s eyes would glow when he used his magic but brighter and more intense. It spread out filling the space and Merlin wanted to shield his eyes or look away but something compelled him to stare to keep witnessing this miracle. 

It could have been hours or mere moments later when Tardduw opened his hands and revealed that sitting in his palms was a tiny glowing orb. Translucent and soft looking to the touch. It was no larger than a grape. 

Merlin frowned down at it confused. “What? What is it?”

Tardduw chuckled, “Look closer.” 

Merlin did and within the orb there was a tiny little speck maybe the size of an apple seed. It didn’t look much like anything. It too was translucent and it was hard to see it clearly inside the glowing orb. “I… I am sorry I still have no idea what this is?”

“Well Emry’s this” He smiled down at the orb. “Will be your son.” 

Merlin blinked then smiled in confusion. “I’m sorry my what?”

“Your son.” The God said, “Currently it is a small bundle not really even truly a creature yet. But it will grow. With my power it will grow far faster than a normal human would. He will be ready to truly enter this world on the last day of my season.”

“But why?” Merlin flailed his revretry and awe fading into confusion and annoyance. “What possible reason would you create me a child?” 

“It was your desire.” Tardduw spoke, it wasn’t a question and there was no hesitancy in his voice. “Deep within you. One of your true wants is to be a father.”

Merlin was silent. 

“You always believed because of your nature that it wouldn’t be possible for you.” He smiled softly. “I will admit for most inclined as you are it isn’t achieved this way, but you Emry’s are deserving of a blessing and so I will grant you this.” 

Merlin was silent for a long while then his voice came out croakie and full of emotion. “I don’t deserve this. I have done nothing to warrant this gift.” 

The God’s expression changed to one of warm affection. He moved the orb very very carefully to rest on one palm and placed a hand on Merlin’s head. “Beloved child. You were assigned a great destiny in your life. One which you are fulfilling marvelously. You will do so much good to set the balance to right even when it has cost you greatly. You above all deserve to have one thing you wish to be granted.” He moved the hand to cup Merlin’s cheek and wiped away the tears Merlin hadn’t realised he was shedding. “I cannot fix this kingdom’s troubles with magic, I do not possess the power to alter the minds of living beings. But this I can give you. So please, my favoured child, accept this gift.” 

Merlin stared at the orb and slowly reached forward. He hesitated just above it looking up at Tardduw’s face, he smiled and nodded. Merlin ran one finger over the orb softly touching the surface. It was warm and Merlin smiled as he touched it feeling the slight give of the orb. He let the tears fully flow. 

“Thank you.” He spoke softly.

“You're welcome. I will hold him for you until he is ready.” Tardduw said, returning his other hand to cup the orb.

“Can I come and see him while he grows?” Merlin asked, wiping his face with the back of his tunic sleeve. 

“Of course. You should come back as often as you wish. If you enter the thicket I will ensure you end up here.” He smiled. “You should also probably bring his other father to see him as well.”

“His what!” Merlin fell backwards in surprise. 

Tardduw raised an eyebrow at Merlin. “It typically takes two to make a child. You offered me your seed and that of your lover.” He looked more confused. “I assumed Arthur Pendragon, the man you love, would be the one you wanted a child with.”

“I don’t love him!” Merlin Said too quickly, then the rest of the words hit. “He is going to be Arthur’s bastard! He will have a claim to the throne!” 

“To your second point he will be a mighty child of royalty and magic, one who will reign with power and fairness.” Tardduw said proudly, he then smiled at Merlin knowingly, “And to the first please do remember young warlock I am a God, I can see you deep thoughts. I know your feelings for the prince. It is a wonderful thing to love and I am literally blessing that love.” He smirked. “Surely you cannot think it is still wrong if I am telling you it is not. It is fine to love your prince.” 

Merlin layback on the ground flat on his back arm over his face groaning and laying there for a long time before saying. “How did I get into this?” 

“I believe it started when you decided to move to Camelot and save the life of a prince.” The God replied mockingly. 

Merlin huffed from the ground but didn’t respond.

“Then you allowed yourself to be seduced -”

“I was not seduced!”

“Seduced.” The god continued “By said prince. Who you then fell in love with. You both were then stupid enough to try and pretend nothing important was happening between. Acted stupidly floating around each other and only taking pleasure in short bursts, until we ended up here. Where I have intervened by granting you both this gift.” 

“Oh so it isn’t just for me?” Merlin said, still not sitting up.

“You are the recipient not him. But this gift is also part of the larger destiny you can fulfil.” He said again. 

“Good more cryptic statements about my ‘destiny’. As if I didn’t have enough people giving me those.” 

“Don’t huff at me.” The God mocked. “I am doing you a nice thing. I could smite you for such an insult. But I am gracious and instead am kindly fulfilling a deep wish and as a bonus helping you in achieving your goal of making Arthur a great king.”

“I fail to see how providing him with a bastard one who will compete with any future legitimate children his wife will give him is going to help him.” Merlin sat up and looked at his God. “His son will compete his whole life to be accepted.” Merlin looked at the small orb and the speck within sadly. “He never will be while Camelot is the way it is.”

“Have faith Emrys.” Tardduw said. “I have faith in you and in Arthur. Have faith in your son and how he will unite, not divide this kingdom.” 

Merlin nodded. But he was still doubtful. “I need to head out.” He eventually said. “They will be wondering where I am. And I need to find a way to explain…. All this!” 

Tardduw smirked. “Good luck with that.” 

“Thanks.” Merlin rolled his eyes. He leant forward and again ran a feather soft touch to the orb. “I’ll be back soon.” He whispered to it. 

-x-x-x-

It was dark when Merlin exited the woods the hunt had ended and he had to walk the journey back to Camelot alone. The walk had allowed him time to think about what the hell just happened.

He had for a decent part of the walk ran through all the possible ways he might have just gone mad. He might have fallen and hit his head, a snake might have bitten him and he had hallucinated the whole thing, or maybe he had been bewitched. But he still tingled where the god had touched his cheek and he could see in his mind’s eye the little orb and the tiny being within.

Once he had accepted he was not insane and that he was now expecting a child in a few short months, he started to panic. 

Would it be better to leave? Take the child and run? Maybe Arthur would come with them? No, that's insane. Arthur was needed here. This was his destiny to become the Once and Future King, Merlin couldn't ask him to abandon that. He wouldn’t leave even if Merlin did. So Merlin would be alone with the child. What sort of life could he possibly give them? And then Merlin would be abandoning his task to protect and aid Arthur. He couldn’t leave Arthur. So he had to stay in Camelot.

But he needed to tell people about how he now had a child. 

How the hell was he to explain any of this to anyone?

Should he even tell anyone? Maybe it would be better to lie? Tell everyone the child is just his? It would be alot easier than explaining that a God made him a child. But then he’d have to explain where the child’s mother went. And why he had been given the child rather than another member of this none existent woman’s family.

Also then Arthur would never know. 

The thought of keeping another secret from him burned in his chest. If felt wrong, deeply wrong to keep the knowledge of his child from him. Both to Arthur and to their child. Merlin had never known his father and although his mother had been wonderful Merlin had always wondered about the man who was his father. 

But then he is back to how the hell he is going to convince him they somehow made a child. 

Then there was also the magic of it all. Although this is a God’s doing he still might see the child as an abomination of magic. Also Tardduw had said the child would be of magic so he may be like Merlin and be born with sorcery. How would he keep that from Arthur? Or Uther? Even if Arthur accepts their child would that be enough to protect him from Uther? And would revealing the child end up exposing Merlin’s magic. Tardduw knows about it and it is part of why the God saw fit to grant him this miracle. 

So he can’t leave. He has to tell Arthur. But doing so might expose both the child and himself. 

Merlin sighed as he walked through the city rapidly approaching the castle gates. He would go to Arthur in the morning. Try and lay it all out and if necessary drag him into the woods. It is the right thing to do. 

Right now though he needs to have a bath, eat some food and sleep. Tomorrow was the great feast using all the game caught. Merlin would be expected to serve and run food all night. So between explaining to Arthur about the baby and that, he would also need his energy. 

He reached the keep and slipped into the corridors of the servants wing. Moving until he reached Gaius’ rooms. He hoped Gaius had left him something he could warm up. 

He entered and was surprised to see not just Gaius but Gwaine seated at the table. 

“Ah there you are Merlin!” Gwaine said. “Been waiting for you.” He stood smiling. 

“Why?” Merlin said, walking into the room and picking up a bowl to fill it from the pot over the stove. 

“Prince Arthur wanted you to know he expects you to serve him tomorrow at the feast.” Gwaine smirked. “He was upset you left the hunt early when we couldn’t find you earlier.”

“I didn’t leave!” Merlin said, “I was abandoned in the woods. I had to walk back!” 

Gwaine shrugged. “Well either way Prince was upset and wants you to make it up to him by serving him tomorrow. Lucky you.” 

“Urrggg.” Merlin slumped into a seat and started eating. It was a thin soup of mixed vegetables and off cuts but Merlin was so hungry it might have been the finest venison steak for all he cared. 

Gwaine patted him on the shoulder and then grimaced. “You’re filthy Merlin!”

“I was in the woods! You were there, it was muddy.”

“Sure but you look like you fell into a bed of moss or something. You're covered.” He picked a piece out of Merlin’s hair. “You should take a bath! Anyway, see you tomorrow Merlin.” 

Merlin grumbled Gwaine left. Gaius watched Merlin as he finished up his soup.

“Are you alright Merlin?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “You seem off.” 

Merlin choked on his soup and started coughing. “No… No, nothing’s wrong.” 

“Are you sure?” Gaius pressed. “You are twitchy.” 

“I’m just tired.” Merlin stood and put his bowl in the water basin. “I am gonna go see if I can get a warm bath or at least a basin from the servant’s quarters.” He hurried to the door.

“Merlin.” Gaius called after him. Merlin paused. “If something is wrong you can talk to me.” 

Merlin deflated. “I… I know Gaius.” He paused, he wanted to tell him but he was so tired it was too much to try and explain tonight. “I promise I will tell you if something is bad.” 

He headed out in search of a bath. 

-x-x-x-

Merlin stood before Arthur’s door. 

“Ok I’ve got this.” Merlin said to himself. “Just got to go in there and tell Arthur he is going to be a father. No problem. Just a normal day.” He took another deep breath and opened the door. Entering to find Arthur eating his breakfast. Merlin quickly locked the door behind him.

Arthur looked grumpy at the interruption but when he saw Merlin he perked up.

“Merlin.” He smirked, “Here to complain about your new task are you?”

“What?” Merlin said, thrown off by the question, “Oh the dinner. No that’s not what-”

“I mean it only fair after you shirked your duties yesterday.” He stood and walked over to Merlin. “Where did you go?”

“I actually need to talk to you about that.” Merlin took a breath but Arthur cut him off.

“I heard reports you were seen walking back covered in mud and moss.” Arthur raised an eyebrow. “Did you sneak off and have a nap on the wood floor?”

“No! I mean yes but -”

“Oh so while we were working hard to get food for the castle-”

“Well mostly for your feasting table.” 

“For all the people of this castle. You abandoned your duties to take a nap?” Arthur said, “Therefore you clearly need more oversight to complete your duties. So I have assigned you to serve the high table this evening.” 

“Oh thank you for this wonderful honor my lord.” Merlin snarked. “I am sure George will be heartbroken to not be serving you.”

“He is still recovering from his cough and some of the knights requested him.” 

“Who?” Merlin did not for a second believe that.

“Never you mind.” Arthur replied. 

“Fine, sure. That’s not why I came here though.” Merlin said, he took another deep breath. “Arthur, I have to talk to you.” 

Arthur wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him into him. “I think I know what this is about. I promised you I would finish what I started.” 

Merlin’s heat rate kicked up. “Oh I. We can get to that in a moment I wanted to –” 

“I saw you locked the door.” Arthur started to kiss the side of Merlin’s neck. He smirked into it and then said, “I think I get what you're asking for.” His hands started to cub Merlin through his trousers.

Merlin pulled Arthur into a deep kiss. ‘I can explain after.’ He thought.

Some time later Merlin is looking up at the canopy of Arthur’s bed panting. Arthur is standing back up from where he had been kneeling on the floor wiping the side of his mouth and smirking. Merlin was feeling boneless and sated. 

“Thank you.” Merlin said, still looking up at the ceiling.

“You're welcome. I always keep my word.” Arthur smirked. He moved over towards his table and picked up the goblet placed with his breakfast. He took a large swig of the liquid swearing it around his mouth and then spat it into his fireplace. Arthur then turned to look at Merlin still laying out across the bed. “Well some of us have stuff to get to. I need to head to training. You can let yourself out.”

“Yer.” Merlin muttered then his brain reengaged. “Wait Arthur, I need to tell you.” Arthur was gone. “Damn.” 

-x-x-x-

Merlin decided to regroup. 

Maybe telling Arthur straight away wasn’t the best idea.

There was still a chance he was insane after all. So the new plan is to have a couple allies to assist him with telling Arthur. 

He was currently leading Morgana and Gwen into the woods towards the thicket. 

“Merlin, where are you taking us?” Morgana was complaining. “Is there a reason we are not just training in the usual spot.” 

“I .. I found a better space. Far more secret.” He smiled a bit too wide. “It’s perfect.”

“Was this your napping spot Merlin?” Morgana joked. 

“How did you hear about that?” 

“Lance told me.” Gwen said, smirking. “Said you were found walking back to the keep covered in moss.”

Merlin grumbled. “Well I found a good hiding spot and it should work well for future training.” 

He had considered trying to tell them but when he had tried saying the story out loud it sounded insane even to himself. So he decided showing them would be the most efficient way to get 

It took awhile to find the thicket again and Merlin did briefly wonder if he really had hallucinated the whole thing. But then there it was the tangled mess of brambles and branches. He pushed through the bushes and gestured for the women to follow. 

“Good to see you again young Warlock.” Tardduw hadn’t moved from his spot on the tree stump. “You brought friends.” 

“Merlin!” Gwen said, “What is that!” She had pulled a small knife from her skirt pocket and placed herself between Tardduw and Morgana. 

“It's fine! He’s not a threat.” Merlin said, putting up her hands. “He is harmless.” 

“I mean, I wouldn't say harmless,” Tardduw said, “I am very powerful.” 

“Not helping.” Merlin hissed at him. 

“I will not harm you or your lover Guinevere.” Tardduw said, “I am a friend of Emry’s.”  

“Merlin, what is going on?” Morgana said she was trying to step around Gwen hands raised as if to cast a spell. 

Tardduw sat up straighter. “I am the first blossoms of a new year, I am the growing warmth everyday, I am -”

“He is Tardduw.” Merlin cut him off. 

“Rude Emrys.” Tardduw huffed and settled back into a more comfortable posture. 

“Oh my.” Gwen said before dropping her dagger and falling into a deep curtsy with her head bowed low. “It is a great honor.” 

Morgana remained standing, her face remained in a deep scowl. “Prove it.”

“Morgana.” Gwen hissed. “You can’t ask that of a God.” 

“No, no. It’s fine.” Tardduw laughed. “How to prove to you young witch. Hmmm. How about this?” Tardduw shut his eyes and muttered softly under his breath. 

All around them between the moss and alone the canopy of vines, flowers bloomed. They bloomed and then wilted and then fruit started to grow and then rot. Then flowers started to bloom again. The area came to life and then died all around them over and over. After 3 cycles of this Tardduw opened his eyes again. 

“That enough?” 

“Yes.” Morgana said, shaking before she dropped to her knees. “Forgive me.”

“No no please stand.” Tardduw smiled at them. “There is no need for that. This is a place of joy. Please come meet your Nephew!” 

“What?” Morgana said quickly looking at the God then at Merlin then back to the God.

“Oh you really didn’t tell them anything, did you Emrys.” Tardduw said. 

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. “So guys please come forward and see my future child.” 

Tardduw opened his hands to reveal the little orb within. It was hard to tell but Merlin thought maybe the small speck was now a little larger. The two women carefully approached and looked down at the orb. 

“He is very small right now. But he will grow.” Tardduw said. “Merlin gave me an offering and I have in return made him and Prince Arthur a son.”

There were several moments of silence then Morgana spoke. “Merlin and Arthur?” She looked at Merlin who was bright red. 

“We have been … together might not be the right term. But well we’ve been–”

“They are lovers.” Tardduw interrupted. 

“Well that’s not news.” Gwen said with a cheeky smile. “You two are terrible at keeping whatever is going on secret. It is known to all the servants for over a year.”

“How?” Merlin said, “Wait no we only got together 4 months ago.”

“Really Merlin you both were terrible at hiding. You would flirt with each other openly during dinners.” Morgana said, sitting down next to the orb. “We are much better keeping our affair private.” She smiled up at Gwen who blushed. “But I am still impressed how you managed to be so poor at keeping it a secret that you have created a child.” 

“It really wasn’t intentional.” Merlin said, collapsing onto the ground next to her. 

“I only provided what you deeply wanted, Emry's,” Tardduw said,and looked like he was about to say more when his head snapped up. “Someone else is trying to enter the grove.” His form seemed to shift to be larger, his horns became more pointed, the light seemed to dim. He closed his hands protecting the orb. 

There was a sound and a figure fell through the brush. Tardduw didn’t rise but vines grabbed the figure pulling him up and Merlin could see who it was.

“Lancelot!” Merlin ran towards him. “It’s fine he is a friend please let him down.”

Tardduw looked sceptical but did drop Lance to the ground.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin yelled. 

“What am I? What the hell are all of you doing here? What is that?” Lance pointed at Tardduw. Who looked mock offended. “What is it holding!”

“Calm down, I'll explain.”

Another explanation later, Lance sat on the ground before Tardduw staring at the orb. 

He’d sat and nodded along to the explanation. He looked thoughtful before finally saying something 

“So when did you and Arthur get together?” He asked.

Merlin stared at him unimpressed. “Is this for the bet?” 

“What no!” Lance said, “I'm just curious.”

“He’s lying," Tardduw said, he was showing the orb to Gwen and Morgana and not even looking at Lance. 

“It isn’t relevant to the situation.” He signed, “why are you here Lance?” 

Lance rubbed the back of his neck. “Arthur’s asked the knights to keep an eye on you.”

“What why?” Merlin said, face scrunching up in confusion. 

“No idea. He seems more worried as of late. Keep talking about protecting you.” 

“That Prat! He really seems to think I am going to keel over at the slightest breeze.” He said, and looked at his friends. “I need your help actually. I tried to tell Arthur about all this, but … failed to.”

“What happened?” Gwen asked concerned. “Did he not believe you?”

“No, I didn’t actually get around to telling him.” Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. “I wasn’t really sure where to even start.” 

Tardduw laughed. “And you were otherwise occupied.” 

“Can you please stop reading my mind?” Merlin said, his face turning beet red. 

“Your thoughts were very loud.” The God shrugged unbothered. 

Morgana rolled her eyes. “Really Merlin.”

“It was not my fault! I thought I would tell him… after. But then he left to go to training.” Merlin said.

“He was in a good mood that morning. Thanks Merlin we needed a break.” Lance said, smirking at Merlin.

Merlin just buried his face in hands. “Seriously I have no idea where to start with explaining.” He gestured to the glen, Tardduw and the orb, “All this without it coming across as insane.” 

Gwen put a hand on his knee. “We will help you.” She smiled. 

“Thank you.” Merlin smiled at her and his friends. 

Chapter Text

Arthur was feeling great. 

Since the hunt Merlin had sort him out. They’d had a great morning together and training had gone very well. 

The hunt had been very productive. They’d caught more than enough game for the feast and so Arthur had assigned several knights to give out game to the butchers of the lower city. He hoped it would be a small gesture to the people. Not enough but maybe it would allow the people to have a better start to the season. 

He was currently in his chambers with George getting ready for the feast. George was helping fit his tunic and doing the strings along the sleeves.

“Are you feeling better George?” 

“Yes my lord.” George said, his voice was still a little horse but he was no longer coughing. “I am sorry for not being able to fulfil my duties.”

“It's perfectly fine George.” Arthur said, “I am glad you are well again.” He stood still as George pinned the edges of his tunic in place. “Do you have plans for after the feast?”

“I will be eating with the other servants.” George replied. 

“Anyone you planning to spend time with after eating?” Arthur asked. 

“The other squires are planning to go out but I will likely be heading to my rooms. Your armour still needs cleaning and oiling.” George said, fixing Arthur’s cloak into place. “I plan to spend the evening on my own so I can get it all completed.” 

Arthur wanted to tell George to relax this evening but the man seemed determined. If he wanted to spend his only night off alone in his room working then that was his choice. 

“George. The money you earn working here.” Arthur said, “Is it sufficient? Is there anything you need?” 

George paused in his task of tying the ribbons on Arthur’s trousers legs before replying. “Of course my lord we are rewarded handsomely for our work within the castle.” 

“You don’t own much though. I noticed you have little personal effects.” Arthur said. He knew Merlin was constantly spending his earnings in the tavern, but George never seemed to go out, “Please dont feel you have to say but what do you use your wages on? I am curious.”  

He stayed quiet then softly spoke, “I told you before I have a mother in the lower city.” Arthur nodded. “My father passed away many years ago. She works as a seamstress but only for other peasants who cannot pay much for her work. I send my money to her to ensure she is able to afford her threads and material.” 

“Is she ok? I am sure we can provide extra money if you feel she is without.” Arthur said.

“It is fine my lord. Between my wages and her income she is doing very well now. It was harder before my employment as your man servant but the increased pay has been helpful.” George smiled at him. It was the first time Arthur had seen the man smile. “It’s allowed her to invest in a small shared shop space with a few other women. They are planning to weave their own material rather than having to buy in from outside the city.” George was actually showing emotion. He was happy and smiling. 

It had never occurred to Arthur that his on a whim decision to hire George after firing Merlin in a fit of rage might have dramatically changed the lives of others outside of himself or Merlin. But it had affected not just George’s mother but apparently other women. It was such a small increase in funds, almost nothing to Arthur and yet even that was enough to alter so many people's lives. 

“What was happening before. Was she ok?” Arthur asked. 

George paused again and his eyes averted. “I was sending all I could. I was fortunate to have a friend who was also helping us.” 

“That is very good to hear.” Arthur said. He wondered if George’s mother had ever had to fight to feed herself. Would George have brought stolen grain to keep her fed? Would he have been hanging from the west gate?

“Well I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Arthur said. Trying to pull his thoughts away from the grim track it was going down. 

“Of course my lord.” George bowed and saw himself out. 

Arthur made his way to the feast and was pleased to see Morgana was already seated, which meant Merlin was standing behind the table. Arthur smiled at him before greeting Morgana and sitting at the high table. 

The hall stood as King Uther entered. He marched to the high table and picked up his goblet. All in the room raised theirs to match.

“Let this season continue to be as bountiful as this first hunt has been.” A cheer went up through the hall. “Now let us drink and eat to a new season!” He drank and the room joined him before more cheers and clapping filled the hall. “Sit, eat, and enjoy.” 

Servants streamed into the hall laden with platters of roasted meats and trays of stewed dumplings. There were also preserved vegetables and roasted nuts in bowls. Trays were first presented to the high table and all their plates were piled high before dishes were taken down to all the lower tables. 

Merlin was serving Morgana wine and although Arthur would rather be drinking ale he gestured for him to fill his goblet. 

Arthur smiled warmly at him as he did but Merlin quickly filled Arthur’s cup and hurried back into position behind the table. 

Arthur tried to get Merlin’s attention multiple times. He was supplying drinks efficiently. But he seemed twitchy the whole time. Arthur thought back to the last time he had Merlin serving him and winced. Maybe he was nervous Arthur would try to touch him again. It was a foolish action in public he was lucky no one saw. Merlin was likely scared of him acting so rash again. He could expose them both. He could put Merlin in harm's way. 

He smiled at Merlin trying to send reassurance to him. But Merlin looked more flustered and looked away. 

Were they not ok? Hadn’t they resolved their fight during the hunt? Maybe Merlin was still upset at him. The whole thing had been abrupt. But Merlin had then sort him out this morning. Arthur was confused by the whole thing. 

He started to ask for Ale from other servants and let Merlin focus on his job. 

It is better to not distract him from his duties. Merlin deserves to get to focus on his tasks without having someone jeopardise his position. He wondered if Merlin also sent his funding home to his mother. Did firing him hurt her?

He drank more and let the feast pass him by. 

-x-x-x-

Arthur was enjoying a relaxing evening. It had been a long day after an even longer few weeks. He had woken early and visited the storage facilities to check on new guards and how the supplies were being stored to stay dry in the new heavy rains they had been getting. 

The rain had started the day after the feast and had not yet stopped. The farmers had managed to get their seeds planted and were happy with the rain as it was apparently good for the early crops. But for the storage it meant having to raise all the sacks up and dig trenches around the building to divert the water away. Arthur had assisted for a few hours before heading over to training. He had then had to run laps and spar with the knights in the rain. After there was a council meeting regarding increased bandit activity in the surrounding woods. It had run long and now all he wished to do was sleep after his bath. 

His day had not been easier with Merlin’s constant intrusions. He had been pleased at first when a few weeks back Merlin had come to him and they were able to be together once again. But the man now seemed to be trying to be around him all the time. Constantly trying to pull Arthur aside to supposably talk. But Arthur didn’t have time to ‘talk’ ; he had important duties. Merlin was never this insistent on being around him when it was his literal job. Although sometimes when he did allow Merlin to ‘talk’ to him it had resulted in a nice outcome. 

But now he is alone, has managed to bathe and was having a warm ale to settle him before he turns in for the night. He sat by the fire and listened to the hiss of the rain running down the chimney and hitting the flames. 

The door opened and Merlin entered and smiled at him before turning and quickly locking the door.

Arthur turned to look at him and smirked. 

“Hello Merlin, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Arthur drawled standing from his chair. 

“I need to talk to you Arthur.” Merlin said, “It’s important.” 

“Oh I am sure, Merlin.” Arthur walked close to him, pulled him close and started to kiss the side of his neck. 

“I am … uggg I serious Arthur.” Merlin said but his hands were winding their way under Arthur's shirt. 

“Ok so talk.” He kissed his neck again and started to undo Merlin’s ties on his tunic. 

“It’s about the hunt.”

“Oh” Arthur kissed Merlin’s collar bone. 

“Something happened.”

“Oh I know.” Arthur kissed him again. 

“No, I mean something else.” Merlin was blushing. “After I … did what I did. I went off into the woods” 

“To take your nap.” Arthur kissed lower, pushing Merlin’s shirt off his shoulders. 

“No I mean yes but … ummmm. There was something else.” Merlin’s voice stuttered and he started to push at Arthur’s tunic which Arthur allowed to be pulled over his head. 

“Tell me after.” Arthur said, kissing Merlin’s lips. “I need you now. Please.” 

Merlin’s eyes had gone glassie with lust. “Ok.” He leant into the kiss and Arthur led them over to the bed. 

-x-x-x-

The light is filtering through the window as Arthur watched Merlin sleep. 

He’d never let Merlin sleep overnight before. Normally after they were done Arthur would kick Merlin out so he could get back to Gaius’ rooms and be ready to serve Arthur again in the morning. But last night they were holding each other and Merlin had yawned and tried to talk to him but he was so sleepy he was slurring his words. He fell asleep right there in Arthur’s arms and he couldn’t wake him just to have him leave. He didn’t want to. 

So Merlin was still here. He looked so relaxed like this. The worry and stress he carried gone in sleep. There were small bite marks on his neck and across his shoulders. Arthur had enjoyed putting his mark on Merlin last night even if they would soon be covered by his ridiculous neckerchief. Arthur smirked and ran a finger over one particularly vibrant mark pressing lightly. 

Merlin let out a small groan and swatted at Arthur’s hand. His eyes cracked open and he looked across the bed at Arthur, a slight smile opening across his face.

“Morning sleepy head.” Arthur said. “Really Merlin it is far too late to still be in bed.” 

“Urrggg.” Merlin pushed his face away. “Your breath is terrible. Gods get away.” 

“Oh really.” Arthur grabbed the hand in his face and pinned it to the bed. “You're not exactly smelling the roses.” He picked up one of the pillows and hit Merlin in the head. 

Merlin yelped and flailed his arms, breaking Arthur’s hold but also falling backwards, nearly falling out the bed. Arthur caught him by the waist holding him on and laughing.

Merlin huffed but then broke into laughter as well. He crawled back up and kissed Arthur softly. 

He sighed. “I really do have to tell you something though.” 

“Yes you were saying something last night before we fell asleep. Something about the woods.” Arthur laid back on the pillows looking up at Merlin who was now sitting up in the bed. 

“That’s right. Look, this is going to sound crazy.” Merlin fidgeted with the sheets. “But please hear me out.” 

Arthur frowned, “Ok Merlin. What is it?”

“So after I went for a nap -” 

A knock at the door caused them both to jump. 

“My lord, I am here with your breakfast.” George called from behind the door. 

Merlin and Arthur jumped out of bed and scrambled to pick up clothes.

“One moment George.” Arthur called. He gestured at Merlin.

Merlin mouthed back “What do I do?” 

Arthur waved at the bed and Merlin looked at him and then huffed. He dropped down and crawled underneath. 

Arthur pulled on the last of his sleep clothes and walked towards the door. 

“Everything ok my Lord?” George said from behind the door.

“It's all fine.” Arthur saw one of Merlin’s boots on the ground and picked it up, chucking it under the bed. 

“Oofff” Merlin grunted as the shoe hit him. 

Arthur crossed to the door and opened it. George was standing holding a large tray. 

“Good Morning my lord.” He bowed his head and moved past Arthur placing the tray on the table. 

He frowned around the room at Arthur’s scattered clothes, but as always made no comment. He started to pick up the clothes and prepare Arthur’s outfit for the day. Arthur took a seat at the table and began to eat. 

After a few minutes he saw Merlin poke his head out from under the bed. George was still facing away and Arthur waved at him to stay out of sight. Merlin mouthed “Get rid of him.” 

Arthur rolled his eyes and waved again. Merlin ducked back under the bed. Arthur kept eating his food no faster than before. 

George busied himself around the room. Clearing the old dishes onto the tray and then moving to the fireplace to sweep up the ashes. 

Merlin again poked his head out and stared at Arthur. He had managed to somehow pull on at least his shirt. He was glaring at Arthur to hurry up. He ducked under again. 

Arthur finished up and George noticed and stood up to help him dress. 

Once he was fully dressed Arthur thanked George who bowed. 

“The men are ready for you on the training ground sir. Do you want me to come and assist you this morning?” George asked. 

“That would be very helpful George.” Arthur replied. “We should head down now.” He moved towards the door. “But leave the door unlocked.” He said a little too loud. “So the maids can come in SHORTLY to change my bedding.” 

George nodded at him strangely but followed him out.

-x-x-x-

It was a few days later and Arthur would really like to have left the armory by now. But Lancelot was just not letting up with the post training questions.

“I was just thinking that if I … tried to learn the mace it might give me an advantage in the next tourney.” Lance was saying. 

“Not sure about that Lancelot.” Arthur was saying. “As I already said, it would reduce your range during the hand to hand.” Arthur had already gone over this 3 times. “You would be better off focusing on your lance or sword practice. You need to work on your parrying.” 

“Yes, Parrying! Maybe you could give me some extra training.” Lance was saying. 

“Sure…” Arthur said. “But I should really be going. I want a bath after that practice.” He moved towards the door. 

“Wait. I wanted to ask you about … archery.” Lance said, rushing to block the door. “I wasn’t really on form last time we trained in it.”

“You're not an archer Lance, you only really need it for hunting and your form is fine for that.” Arthur tried to step around him. 

“Wait no.” Lance grabbed him by the arm to hold him away from the door. 

“Lancelot what are you doing!” Arthur tried to pull his arm away. 

“I just need you to wait.”

“What.” Arthur struggled more “Let go.” 

Lance grabbed him around the waist and tried to keep pulling him back.

The two started flailing around.

The door to the armour opened. Arthur turned, Lance still holding him, to see Merlin, Guinevere, and Morgana all standing in the doorway. 

“Oh thank the Gods.” Lance said letting go. “What took you all so long.”

“We’re not late. You only ended practice half an hour ago.” Morgana said. “What are you doing?”

“Not important.” Lance said. “Is the hallway secure?”

“Empty and the door is now locked.” Gwen said, finishing up locking the door.

“What the hell is going on?!” Arthur asked. He looked from person to person. Settling on Merlin. Merlin looked terrified. “Are you ok Merlin?” 

Merlin went to talk but just coughed. Looked at the ground. 

Gwen walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s ok Merlin, we are here with you.” 

“Seriously what is going on? What is happening?” Arthur was starting to get angry now. 

“Calm down Arthur.” Morgana said taking control. “Sit down and shut up! This is going to take a while to explain so we would appreciate it if you didn’t interrupt.”

Chapter Text

Merlin looked at Arthur now reluctantly seated on the bench before him. Lance stood off to the side watching carefully. Morgana stood next to Arthur staring at him to keep him fixed in place. Gwen was standing beside Merlin one hand resting on his arm reassuring him. It felt good to have his friends assisting him. The Gods know he hadn’t been able to do this so far.

It had been over three weeks since Tardduw had blessed him with the child to be. He so far he’d tried to tell Arthur several times, he had just gotten side tracked. His friends had decided after his most recent failed attempt where he wound up in a hall closet with Arthur rather than explaining the baby, that Merlin could not be left alone with Arthur. 

“Ok Merlin.” Arthur said, his frustration clear. “I am seated. I am calm.” He said with very little calm in his voice. “What is so important you had to kidnap me!” 

“I will get to it all. But please know none of this was planned and you are not required to do anything about it. I can deal with it but it felt morally wrong to not let you know what is happening.” Merlin said he had spent a long time preparing what to say. He had debated literally writing it out but had decided against it because he might stumble over his words reading. 

“Merlin for the sake of the gods please just get to the point.” Arthur said, losing his few bits of remaining patients.

“We are having a child.” Merlin blurted out. 

Arthur stared at him. Merlin stared back. Neither said anything. Morgana lowered her face into her hands. 

“Run that past me again?” Arthur said.

“We are going to have a child.” Merlin said again. 

Arthur burst out laughing. “Oh this is a joke. This is actually pretty good Merlin. Having a child. What insanity. Let me guess.” He turned to look at Lance. “It finally came out that you and I are together, and you thought this would lessen the blow.” He smiled at Merlin with genuine affection. “That is very thoughtful of you. If this is probably the most insane way to make that reveal less terrifying. But I trust my knights and I trust Morgana and Gwen. We should probably work on being more careful to not be caught but we already went through this Merlin.” He went to stand and Morgana slapped a hand on his shoulder. 

He looked at her with confusion. “Morgana?” Then he saw her face. “Wait.” He looked around to see that everyone else was not laughing. “You can’t tell me you all are serious. Merlin! Pregnant! Look I know he can sometimes be teased for being girly but I assure you both he and I are men.” 

“I’m not pregnant.” Merlin clarified. “It’s more complicated than that.” Merlin took another deep breath. “After we were intimate during the hunt. I, as you are aware, went to have a short nap in the woods. It turns out I had stumbled upon a sacred site for the God Tardduw. He appeared -”

“The God of spring appeared to you.” Arthur said, deep sarcasm in his voice.

“Yes.” Merlin said with a huff. “He decided to bless us with the gift of a child.” 

“Bless us with a child.” Arthur said. “Right?”

“He decided I was worthy and took the ‘offering’ I gave as a payment for the blessing.” Merlin continued. 

“Of course he wouldn’t just make a child for anythone.” Arthur said. “Where is this child then?” 

“He isn’t ready yet. Tardduw is still growing our child.”

“Oh sure that makes sense you're not pregnant, the God of Spring is pregnant with our child.” 

“No he is holding it in his hands within a ball of golden light.” Merlin said. 

“Of course. I am so sorry for thinking differently.” Arthur stood up and pushed Morgana’s hand off. “Enough of this insanity. What sort of nonsense is this?” He matched towards Merlin. “What possible reason would you lie about something like this? It isn’t funny anymore Merlin. Stop this! We cannot have a child! Gods do not bless random people for falling asleep in the woods. Those are just stupid children's stories.” 

“I am not lying to you Arthur!” Merlin’s voice was pleading now. “It is real.” 

“Arthur.” Lancelot spoke up. “I promise you every word Merlin says is true. He isn’t insane.”

“We have all seen the orb and your future child.” Gwen said. “It was … a miracle. Merlin truly was blessed.” 

Arthur hesitated, doubt crossing his face.

“Please Arthur. I can prove this to you.” Merlin begged. “Let me take you to the glen. You can see it all with your own eyes.” 

Arthur stood still and quiet for a long time.

“It’s … it’s not possible though. We … we can’t possibly …” He trailed off his voice so quiet that Merlin barely heard it.

Merlin took Arthur’s hands in his. “I know it sounds like madness and I also thought I had dreamed it for a long time. But please come with me.”

He stood silent for a long time before sighing. “Fine.” He said. 

They rode off as a group towards the woods in silence. As they reached the outskirts of the woods and Merlin dismounted. “I think we should go alone.” He said. 

“Are you sure Merlin?” Lance asks, he was eyeing Arthur with worry. 

“It would be for the best.” Merlin said. 

“I agree. I don’t want an audience for this farce.” Arthur said, dismounting his own horse. 

They tied up their horses and walked off into the woods. It wasn’t too long before they reached the thicket. Arthur raised an eyebrow at Merlin. “So you are going to tell me that the God of Spring is inside a thorn thicket?” 

“We got this far, Arthur just do this last bit.” Merlin said losing patients. “Now crawl through the thorn bush.” 

Merlin dropped down and started to crawl into the glen. He heard Arthur mutter something about “Ridiculous idiot” but also could hear him also starting to crawl. 

“Welcome back father to be.” Tardduw said, smiling broadly at Merlin. 

The orb was significantly larger; it was too large now to be easily held in one hand so was now gently cupped between Tardduw’s hands. Within the fetus was now nearly the size of an apple. Merlin hurried up and looked down at his child to be and was pleased to see that he could now see small arms and what might be the start of legs forming. Merlin smiled and started to run his hand over the orb.

“Welcome to you too Prince Arthur Pendragon.” Tardduw said, lowering his head slightly in respect. 

Merlin turned from where he was sitting in front of Tardduw to see Arthur frozen by the entrance to the glen. His face was parchment white and eyes had gone wide. 

“You … you weren’t lying.” Arthur said.

“Ah I see your lover didn’t believe you then.” Tardduw smirked. “I am happy to finally meet you Arthur Pendragon. Please approach.” 

Arthur hesitated and Merlin rose and walked towards him smiling. “It’s fine Arthur.” 

They walked over to Tardduw who lifted up his hands to show off the orb and fetus more clearly.  Arthur stopped just short and Merlin picked up Arthur’s hand and lightly placed it on top of the orb. 

“It’s warm.” Arthur whispered. 

Tardduw smiled at them. “Your son is growing well.” 

“Son?” Arthur said.

“Son.” Tardduw confirmed. “He is still developing but give it 2 and a bit more months and he will be ready to enter into the world.” 

Tardduw lowered his hands again, moving to again cradle the orb closer to his chest. Arthur gasped and dropped to his knees before Tardduw. He lowered his head nearly to the ground before him.

“Oh. No please you don't have to-” Tardduw said.

“Thank you oh mighty God.” Arthur started. “For this miracle. I promise you I will treasure him and give him everything. I will protect him with my life no matter what.” Arthur raised back to his knees and clasped his hand to his chest. “I will ensure you are honored in my court and -”

“Please that is enough.” Tardduw said laughing. “I appreciate you kind words young prince, and I will hold you to that promise. But I do not require anything from you.” He looked at Merlin. “Your love already brought the offering required for this gift to be fulfilled. And it is his actions that he has done and will do which is more than deserving of this gift.” 

Arthur looked at Merlin quizzically. “Offering?” 

Merlin went scarlet. 

“He provided your seed along with his own.” Tardduw nodded. “He spilt his seed into my hands and I collected yours from his neck.” 

Arthur stared at Merlin who was looking at the sky, the red having now spread to the tips of his ears. “Right. And what has he done to be so deserving?” 

Merlin’s eyes snapped back down, panic filling them. He stared at Tardduw with a pleading look.

“He has been loyal, good and praise worthy to the Gods.” Tardduw said, winking at Merlin. 

Merlin slowly let out the breath he had been holding. 

Arthur looked sceptical but didn’t press the issue. He sat down and focused back on the orb. 

“I never thought that it would be possible to have a child with a man.” Arthur smiled. “I thought I was being so careful with my choices of partners.” He joked. 

Tardduw laughed again. “Oh you were but as people say. The Gods make fools of Mortal plans.” 

Merlin joined them on the ground, the moss being soft underneath him. They sat like that while Arthur asked some question about the babe to be. How big he would be, when he would be ready to take him, why he was growing so fast and if it would only be during gestation or would the child also grow fast. 

The child would be normal size for a newborn about the size of a chicken. He would be as ready to be in the world as any other newborn, that meaning very vulnerable and needing constant care. No, the child would age at the same rate as a child born to natural means. 

Merlin was relieved by the last answer. He had been too scared to ask if the baby would age normally fearing the response. 

After some more time Merlin spoke. “We should return the others are waiting for us.” 

Arthur nodded but paused leaning into the orb and lightly kissing the surface. He muttered something so quiet that Merlin couldn’t hear it. 

Tardduw bid them farewell as they headed off. They made their way in silence to the group. Lance stood up on their return. Morgana merely looked up from where she was sitting next to Gwen on the ground. 

“So you believe now?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Arthur nodded before clearing his voice. “I do, yes. I have seen my son.” He then straightens and turns to Merlin. “I actually have to say something important.” He places a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “I owe you an apology.”

“No problem,” Merlin smiles. “It is perfectly reasonable to not believe at first. And you are a dolphead afterall I never expected you to believe me straight away.” 

“No I do. I should trust you more.” He smiled at Merlin. “You have been loyal to me over these years Merlin. I should not doubt you when you are being so serious and sincere. You have never lied to me before about something serious and I shouldn't have assumed you would lie now.” 

Merlin went stock still. He will suddenly wracked with guilt. Arthur believed and trusted him to not lie. Yet that is all he had ever done since they had first met. It was for his safety he needed to lie but with all that was happening with how it was going to change their relationship how could he keep lying to Arthur about this? He felt tears pricking the edges of his eyes. 

“Arthur, I need to tell you something else.” Merlin said. Arthur raised his hand to cup his cheek wiping away his tears.

“MERLIN!”

“Merlin.”

“Merlin!” 

Lance, Morgana and Gwen all said at once. The two women shot to their feet. 

Arthur looked at them with confusion and then turned back to Merlin. Merlin took several steps back and looked at Arthur sadly. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

Merlin took a step back and went to speak again. 

“Merlin no!” Morgana said, “Now isn’t the time.” 

“But he deserves to know!” Merlin cried. “I’ve been keeping it secret for so long.” He wept. Arthur tried to reach for him again but Merlin stepped further back. 

Lance was standing hand on his blade ready. 

“Are you sure Merlin?” Gwen said she looked at him worryingly 

Merlin nodded. 

“What is it?” Arthur said, confused. “Are you ok Merlin? Are you sick?” 

“No it’s not that.” Merlin took a deep breath. “I have been keeping something from you, something core to who I am.” 

Arthur nodded but stayed quiet.

“I have magic.”. He wanted to say it louder but as he tried to the words came out so softly if it hadn’t been dead silent he doubted anyone would have heard. 

Arthur said nothing, just stayed perfectly still, his face going pale. His emotions were impossible to read. 

“I was born with magic. I have been using it to protect you. To protect Camelot. I promise you I would never use it to cause harm to this kingdom. I have used my powers over the years to keep you alive and save those we care about.” He was panicking and just saying everything. “I know I lied to you. I am so sorry. I am just so terrified of what will happen if anyone finds out. If the king learns of my magic -”

“You have magic.” Arthur said slowly, voice steady. 

“Yes.” Merlin said. He didn’t know what else to say. 

They all stood in silence watching Arthur carefully. 

Minutes passed before he spoke. 

“Leave.” Arthur said. 

“What?” Merlin’s voice cracked with emotion. 

“LEAVE! I WANT YOU TO LEAVE!” Arthur yelled. He advanced on Merlin. “YOU LIED TO ME FOR YEARS! YOU HAVE BEEN PRACTICING FORBIDDEN ACTS WITHIN MY COURT! YOU WERE WITHIN MY HOUSEHOLD AND KEPT FROM ME THIS.” He was rage radiating off him. 

Lancelot ran up and stood between Arthur and Merlin sword drawn. 

“I will not allow you to harm him!” He spoke. 

Arthur reached for his own blade.

“STOP!” Morgana called out. She pushed her way in front of Lancelot mere inches from Arthur’s face. “Stop this madness Arthur.” 

“HOW CAN YOU SIDE WITH HIM!” Arthur raged. “HE IS A SORCERER! HE IS EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN FIGHTING FOR YEARS!”

“He is your friend. He is your ally.” She said, “HE is your love!” She looked at him sternly.

“I COULD NEVER LOVE SOMETHING LIKE HIM!” He spat. 

Merlin broke, he turned and ran. He heard the cries behind him. Heard yelling both his name and Arthur’s but he didn’t stop running. He didn’t stop running until he saw the thicket. He scrambled within. 

Tardduw looked at him as he entered not with a look of surprise but of pity. He didn’t move but the glen changed the entrance closing up. Slowly and very carefully Tardduw rose, moving the orb so it was nestled within the crook of one arm and reaching out with his other hand. 

“Calm young warlock, you are safe.” He said “I will not allow any harm to befall you.” 

Merlin broke into full wailing cries and buried his face into the Gods chest. 

Tardduw held him with one arm and rocked him gently. 

“It will be ok.” He said.

“How? He despises me for what I cannot control.”

“Have faith.” Tardduw said and kissed his head. 

Merlin slowly felt himself growing tired and yawned. Tardduw helped him lay down in the soft moss and draped furs he summoned over him. Merlin drifted off to sleep under the soft glow from the orb and the light humming of his God.

Chapter Text

Arthur watched Merlin sprint off into the forest. He tried to take a step but found a blade pointed at his throat. 

“Don’t even try.” Lancelot looked at him with a mixture of hate and fear in his eyes. 

“Why are you trying to defend a sorcerer?” Arthur said. “I am ordering you to stand aside.” 

“No.” Lance said, “Merlin saved my life. He literally is the reason I became a knight!” 

“He is a sorcerer! His very existence is dangerous! He was hiding within our ranks.” Arthur shook with rage. “Who knows what he could have been planning.”

“I can name a dozen times he saved either your or one of the other knights' lives.” Lance replied. “And those are just the times I notice him using his magic to save us.” 

Arthur didn’t want to hear this so he spun to look at Morgana and Gwen. “You all knew!” His eyes fixed on Morgana who he had pushed aside as Merlin had started to run off. “How could you know and be ok with him?!” 

“He is a good man Arthur.” Morgana’s voice was steady but she looked like she was seconds away from punching him.

“How did all of you find out! How could you keep this from your Prince!” Arthur said. 

Gwen spoke up. “Arthur please Merlin isn’t your enemy. Myself and Morgana found out when he saved our lives from that fire all those weeks ago. If he hadn’t we would have suffocated in the smoke before anyone else would have reached us.”

“And who started the fire?” Arthur said. Gwen stayed silent looking away. It was all Arthur needed to hear. 

He fumed and looked at each of them. “This is treason. I could arrest you all for this.” 

“Then do it and if Merlin ever comes back will burn him at the stake.” Morgana said. “If that is what you think about magic then will you have us killed for protecting him?” 

Arthur froze. 

Hadn’t he just been so scared that Merlin would be punished for having a relationship with him? No. He couldn’t see Merlin burn. So Merlin must never come back. 

He looked around him at the group. Could he see these people he knows suffer for the act of someone else? They broke the law and yet was it just? These were people he knows and cares for. Should that matter? 

“Let's go back to the castle.” He said turning and walking towards the horses.

“You didn’t answer!” Morgana called after him. “What will you do Arthur? Are you going to put us to death?” 

“No.” 

-x-x-x-

The crowd jeered and spat as the man was led up to the pire. 

The sky was dark and the air heavy as Arthur watched. He was standing above the crowd on a balcony overlooking the square. He looked down on the man as he was tied to the wooden stake. His head was covered in a sack bag. The world below looked small to him, insignificant. 

 The crown on his head felt light as he sneered down at the man tied to the pire. 

“This man stands before you” He called to the crowd who jeered louder. “Accused of using perverse magic. He has used it to put out fires, to slay monsters and to save those who he cares for.” That didn’t sound right? Why had he said that? 

The crowd didn’t seem to notice and continued to yell at the man. The man stayed silent. 

“For these crimes he is to be burned at the stake until dead and his body turned to ash.” Arthur said. 

He nodded down at the executioner who started to light the wood surrounding the man. He still did not speak or move. The flames started to lick his legs and yet he made no noise. Then the sack was just gone. It was there one second and then gone the next. The man stared at him with fear in his blue eyes. Blond hair falling across his young face. His too young face. The man was a child. 

“Father! Please!” The child screamed. 

Arthur stumbled back, the child still yelling to him. “I am sorry! Please Daddy, Father! I’ll stop being magic. Please. I don’t want to die!” 

Then he stopped yelling. The child still stared at him but instead of fear, RAGE was in his expression. 

“Arthur Pendragon!” The voice was no longer that of a child.

“You have betrayed your promise.” Tardduw’s voice came from the child. 

Arthur fell to his knees, crown slipping from his head and dropped into the square below. The whole square was now in flames. Camelot’s walls were burning. His kingdom was falling. 

The eyes of the child closed and when they reopened the child was gone and Merlin stared at him from the flames. Sadness filled his face. 

“My love, what are you doing?” 

-x-x-x-

Arthur shot up in bed. He was covered in sweat. His heart was pounding. 

It was still dark outside and the moon was high.

The dream shook him to the core. It hadn’t been real. He felt the heat of the flames, he had heard the scream of his child but in that weird distant way dreams always felt when one was awake. But Tardduw’s words had been different. It had hit him to his very core. He felt terrified. It wasn’t just a dream when he spoke. It had been Tardduw speaking to him. 

He stood from the bed and paced. 

He hasn't betrayed his promise. He had promised to protect his child and he still intended to fulfil this. Nothing about that had changed. 

Except Merlin had been the one to make the offering to Tardduw. If Merlin was gone would Tardduw decide the ‘gift’ was no longer wanted? Did he think Arthur now didn’t want their child? 

Arthur’s blood ran cold. No, even if he had only just learned of his future child he couldn’t even imagine a world in which he didn’t exist. 

He hurried to pull on clothing and boots. He ran out to the stables without pausing to think. He had to get to the glen he had to see the Orb to see his child. 

He reached the woods and rode on pushing his horse until the trees became too thick. He dismounted and ran on. He reached the thicket and scanned for the gap in the thorns. It wasn’t there. 

“No.” Arthur said. “NO!” He drew his sword and hacked at the thorns he cut and cut and still he could not make an entrance. Each cut would just reveal more and more thorns; they seemed to grow faster than he could cut them off. 

“No, please let me in.” Arthur cried out he threw his body at the thorns pulling at them with his hands. 

He continued until his hands were bloody and cheeks streaked with mud and tears. 

“Please. I am sorry Please let me see my child. I haven’t broken my vow. I wouldn’t ever. Please.” He fell to the ground and begged. 

The ground moved under him and he found himself being pulled forward into the thorns. They thorns cut into his skin as he was forced into the glen. His arms were bound in vines as he looked upon Tardduw still holding the orb looking at him with disdain. Blood dripped from the many small wounds on his arms as he tried to meet the God’s eyes. To his right Merlin was curled under a deer pelt softly snoring. 

“Merlin.” Arthur breathed. 

“He is sleeping.” Tardduw spoke. “He won’t wake until I am done talking to you.”  

“What have you done to him?” Arthur asked

“Nothing bad. I knew you would eventually come.” He smirked. “I thought it would take a few more days but I guess your guilt is strong.” 

“I have nothing to feel guilty for.” Arthur said but he turned his face away. “But I want to make sure my child is ok.” 

“The future child.” Tardduw said. “Is not just yours.” He looked at Merlin. “You both are the child's parents. But the gift wasn’t offered to you. So why should I care about your claim on the child? I have no intention on stopping growing him for Merlin. He clearly still desires to raise his child no matter what.” 

“I also want to raise the child-” Arthur said.

“Really? You only just found out about his existence yesterday.” Tardduw said. 

“As soon as I saw him I knew I loved him.” He tried to look at the orb but Tardduw angled it so Arthur could not see the fetus within. “I promised you I would and I intend to keep that promise.”

“Oh do you?” Tardduw said darkly. “But you despise magic and all those who use it.”

“I fail to see this as a problem.” Arthur said. “My vow is to the child not to Merlin.” 

Tardduw looked mad. “You would take his child away?” 

“He chooses to act in immoral ways. I cannot let him around a child.” Arthur said.

“And when your child has magic?” Tardduw asked. “What will you do to him? Burn him like his father?” 

“If I raise him he won't learn magic.” Arthur said, but his dream haunted him. The child screaming up at him. 

“He will have magic. Whether or not Merlin teaches him. He will be born with magic within him.”  

“Why?” Arthur asked. “Why would you curse him with this?”

“Curse? You think him inheriting magic, a curse?” Tardduw asked.

“Magic corrupts those who learn it. It drives them mad. Makes good men become evil.” Arthur said, but the more he said the more doubt entered him. “If you give the child magic at birth he will never have a chance.” 

“That is not how magic works.” Tardduw says, but he looks at Arthur with pity. “You have been lied to by people who for their own reasons want to control and harm others. It is not that magic corrupts those who wield it. It is that those who wield magic are hunted and over time resentment and hatred towards those hunting them naturally evolves.” He chuckles and looks over at Merlin again. “Well for most people it does. Sometimes you get someone who despite all reason to hate Camelot and those who run it doesn’t. He maintains loyal to it and you.” Merlin muttered in his sleep and snuggled deeper into the furs snoring louder. Tardduw laughed and looked fondly at him. 

Tardduw looked back to Arthur. “They child is inheriting magic from Merlin not because I have given it to him. I have not decided if the child will have magic more than I decided if he would have blond hair. I just mixed you two together, the rest was just nature. Merlin was born with magic and your child will also be born with it.” He smirked. “So I ask again Arthur. What will you do with your child when his magic manifests?” 

Arthur slumped against the vines still holding him back. The rage and even the fear he had when he entered the glen left him. He felt shame deep within him. How could he hurt his own flesh and blood? Sentence him to death for something beyond his control? Could he see Merlin burn for the same ‘crime’? Could he have been so wrong his whole life? 

“I couldn’t harm him. It would be wrong. Not just because he is my child. If he is born with magic he shouldn't be punished for something he is.” Arthur said. 

“So if your child was taught magic you would punish him?”

“What? That’s… he isn’t going to be.” Arthur was wrong footed again. 

“You said.” Tardduw’s voice changed; it now sounded exactly like Arthur’s “I promise you I will treasure him and give him everything. I will protect him with my life no matter what.” He smirked and his normal voice returned. “So did you mean that? Will you protect him no matter what?” 

Arthur paused then said, “Yes I will protect him. It wouldn’t matter if he is born with magic or learns it later, I would never harm him.” He takes a deep breath and looks towards the sleeping Merlin. “And I can see where you are going. Why should my mercy only apply to my child and not to all with magic? It shouldn’t. If what you say is true then everything I know is a lie.” Arthur felt something burning in his chest. “I don’t know what to think. It is hard to comprehend all this.” 

The vines released Arthur and he nearly fell to his knees at the sudden change. The cuts along is arms closed leaving only a slight burning sensation over Arthur’s skin. 

“I believe you Prince Arthur.” Tardduw said. “I don’t expect you to be completely ok with your worldview being shaken to its core. It will take time but I believe in you.” 

He shifted his hand allowing Arthur to see the orb again. Arthur approached and dropped to his knees. He placed a hand over the orb kissing it.

“Hi little one. Sorry for the noise. I will keep my promise. I love you.” He whispered. 

Tardduw smiled at him and then whistled. The noise whipped through the glen.

Merlin shot up awake.

“What? Where? Why?” He groggily asked. He looked over and saw Arthur. His face went through so many emotions so fast Arthur couldn’t read them. He settled though on rage. “What is he doing here you said you would keep him out?!”

Tardduw shrugged. 

“Merlin.” Arthur scooted towards him, still kneeling. “I wanted to say-”

The punch landed square on his jaw. Arthur's head snapped back and he stumbled back landing on his ass. Merlin jumped on him trying to punch him again. Arthur grabbed his hands. 

“Stop. Hay. I am trying to-”

“Shut up.” Merlin Yelled. “Why are you here?! I am not going to let you take me back!” He tried to pull his hands free. “You will not take me from my Son!” 

“Can you help?” Arthur called to Tardduw.

Tardduw shook his head. “I shouldn’t interfere in the lives of mortals.” 

“What?” Arthur said. “Since WHEN!” 

Tardduw laughed.

Merlin started to kick at Arthur. 

“Ah stop that!” Arthur said. 

“Why are you here!?” Merlin said back, continuing to try and free his arms and kneeing Arthur in the stomach. 

Arthur flipped them over and pinned Merlin’s legs with his knees. “I am trying to tell you.” 

Merlin tried to bite Arthur’s arm and Arthur jerked out of the way. 

“Merlin, I am sorry!” Arthur yelled. 

Merlin paused for a second then tried to bite him harder.

“Hay why are you? I am apologising. I was wrong!” 

“I don’t believe you!” Merlin said, still struggling. “Why would you change your mind? You hate magic. You hate what I am!” 

“Use your magic.” Arthur said.

“What?” Merlin stopped moving.

“Use your magic. Throw me off. Attack me with it.” Arthur said. “It should be easy, right? So use it on me.” 

Merlin shook his head. “I can’t do that?” 

“Why?”

“My magic was made for you. I only use it to protect you.” Merlin said, “I won’t use it to hurt you.”

“Made for me?” Arthur said, his voice broke a little.

“It is my destiny to help you become a great king.” Merlin said. 

Arthur was stunned. He let go of Merlin’s arms and sat up allowing Merlin to move. He didn’t lunge at him so Arthur took that as a positive. 

Merlin pushed himself up and sat facing Arthur. “I choose to stay in Camelot to protect you Arthur. I was born with magic and I have been told my life and magic is for you.” 

“Why would you put yourself in such danger for me?” Arthur asked. 

Merlin smiled softly. “I mean to start with I was determined to fight my destiny. That it was dumb. How could you, this dollopheaded prat possibly be my destiny. I planned to get control over my powers, work for a little while then leave.” He said, “But then overtime I saw how you lead your men, the way you respected people deep down. The way you love your kingdom and people. I saw it all and even if you were still a prat. You were a good prat.” He smirked. “I wanted to be part, even just a small part, in helping you become the king of legends. So I stayed.” 

Arthur was stunned. “But you risked your own life every day.” He reached out and took Merlin’s hands. “I cannot be worth your life Merlin.” 

Merlin laughed wetly. “Of course you are worth more Arthur. You are going to be king. You are going to be the Once and Future King. A living legend and one who will unite the land and people.” He leant in closer and rested his forehead against Arthur’s. “Keeping you alive is worth it even if it costs me my own.” 

Arthur pulled back and grabbed Merlin’s face forcing him to look at Arthur “NO. Your life is not worth less than mine! You are important, Merlin. Your life is worth so much. You are kind, and smart, and so fucking funny. Even if you are a completely useless man servant.” Arthur smiled. “You are, however, apparently an incredibly successful sorcerer. Your life should be as much as mine. You shouldn’t sacrifice your life for mine, or your safety for me.”

Merlin blushed and tried to look away but Arthur kept him in place. 

“I am serious Merlin. Your life isn’t worth less than mine. I may be a prince and even have this destiny you talk about. But it still doesn’t make me worth more.” He closed his eyes and moved his hands to be on Merlin’s shoulders. “I know this kingdom is harmful to people like you, with magic. It also doles out punishments unfairly to those with power and those without. I want to fix this but can’t as my father believes differently then I do. I will work everyday to try and make it better and when I am king I will! I promise you! But how can I say I wish for my kingdom to be better and more equal and have the man I love say he believes his life is more expendable than mine.” 

“You love me?” Merlin said in disbelief. 

“Yes of course I do, you idiot.” 

“But last night you-”

“I am sorry. I was wrong. And angry. And fucking stupid.” Arthur said. “It does not excuse my words. But I have learnt and am still learning just how wrong I was about magic. Magic Is not evil as I was led to believe.” He looked at the ground in shame. “I am still learning. I am not sure I am fully there yet. But I want to get better. I want to understand magic better.” 

“And you love me?” Merlin said again. 

“Yes I do.” Arthur replied. 

Merlin lunged forward again but this time captured his lips with his own. The kiss knocked Arthur onto his back and Merlin fell down with him knocking their heads together. Merlin laughed as he pulled back, rubbing his brow but smiling down at Arthur. “Oww. Sorry.” He said. 

“It’s about as graceful as I expected you to be. I have to say I did expect my confession to have slightly less violence but I don’t know why I thought it would be any different.” Arthur teased. Rubbing a tear from Merlin’s cheek. 

“Oh shut up you clotpole. I don't know why I love you.” Merlin said.

Arthur’s smile felt like it was splitting his face as he pulled Merlin back on top of him and kissed him deeply. Merlin squirmed against him and let out a sign of contentment. 

Arthur was so unbelievably happy. He hadn’t messed all this up. He had a lot more to learn and to unlearn but he would. He would make this right. He would set his kingdom right. With Merlin helping him. Because it was their destiny to do this together. 

He groaned into the kiss, running his hands down Merlin’s back and cupping his ass. Merlin made a strained noise in response pulling up Arthur’s shit. 

A cough drew their attention to Tardduw. 

“Oh don’t mind me. I'm just sitting here in my holy glen holding your child.” He said. 

The broke apart chastised. 

“Sorry.” Arthur said, rubbing his neck.

“It’s fine. I just thought you might want to be reminded I am still here before you consummate your love before me.” Tardduw said laughing. “Though seeing as I am a God you always are in some ways making love before me.”

“Comforting.” Merlin said sarcastically. 

Tardduw smiled. “I am happy for you both though. Congratulations to you and your love.” 

Arthur stood tall and took Merlin’s hand in his. “I still have much to apologise for but I promise to do my best to make myself worthy of his love.” 

“You idiot.” Merlin said, swatting him on the arm. “You can make it up to me by just not being such a prat.” 

“Oh that’s unrealistic Merlin.” Arthur smirked. “Be reasonable.” 

-x-x-x-

They sat and talked until dawn started to break. The light started to filter through the canopy of vines. 

Arthur said, “We should return.” He smiled. “I will be back soon though.”

They headed out and found Arthur’s horse still near the thicket entrance. Arthur mounted up and Merlin got up behind him.

 “I want to bring Leon to the glen” Arthur said

“Why?” Merlin asked.

“You got to bring 3 people here and I don't get to bring my friend?” Arthur acted mock hurt. 

Merlin snorted. “Ok sure I am not going to stop you. I like to take the inner cycle all to the glen. We are gonna need all the help we can get to work out how the hell we are going to explain this to Uther.” 

Arthur groaned. “Don’t remind me we have 2 months to work that out.” 

They arrived back at the castle while it was still waking up and Arthur headed off to the knights wing. Merlin followed him wanting to be there to watch how Arthur went about explaining this whole mess. 

Arthur didn’t hesitate before opening the door to Leon’s room.

“Leon. Wake up. I need to talk to you.” Arthur said. 

Leon sat up groaning. “What?”

“My lord!” George said, shooting up in the bed next to Leon in a blind panic. “This isn’t what … It’s not…. FUCK shit.” He stuttered and shook. 

Leon’s eyes went wide and he grabbed George. “It’s fine. Calm down. Arthur isn’t going to punish us.” Leon said, trying to comfort George. 

“Of course not.” Arthur said, holding his hands up. 

George still looked like he was going to throw up. “I am sorry my Lord. I’ll leave the castle. Please just don’t punish me. I promise to be discreet.” He was talking rapidly words tumbling without thought in a way Arthur had never seen George act before. Leon was trying to calm him down but when he tried to touch his face George flinched away. 

Arthur reached out of the room and pulled Merlin into the room.

“Arthur what are you-” He kissed him. Merlin melted into the kiss before Arthur pulled back.

George, Leon and Merlin were all surprised. 

“Ok so we are all good.” Arthur said. “You are not in trouble. Now get your clothes on Leon. George, you are not required to assist me this morning. But I will want you to serve me this evening at dinner.” He said and left the room. 

Merlin gave George a thumbs up before leaving to wait outside with Arthur. 

Arthur wasn’t trying to listen in but overheard Leon’s voice coming from behind the door.“It’s ok dear.” There was a soft noise that Arthur thought sounded like lips meeting. 

It was a few minutes later that Leon emerged from the room dressed and armored. George gingerly appeared behind him bowing to Arthur and then taking off at speed down the hallway. 

Once he turned the corner Leon grabbed Arthur and pushed him up against the wall. “You will not tell anyone. George has far too much to lose.” Leon said. “Also we are even for when I walked in on you.”

“Agreed.” Arthur said but was smirking. “I am happy for you.”

Leon put him down. “Thank you.”

“Right so I have something important to tell you about.” Arthur said. He took Merlin’s hand.

Leon looked at him in annoyance. “Really Arthur? This is why you woke me up? To tell me you're with Merlin again?”

“No, I woke you up to tell you that and take you into the woods to meet our new child.” Arthur said. “Merlin, go get the others, we might as well get this all done at once.”

“Yes Arthur.” Merlin said laughing. He went down the hallway and kicked open Gwaine’s door. “Get up Gwaine!” A pillow was hurled out the door at Merlin who was already moving down halfway to the next knights room.

“You're serious.” Leon said.

“Yes. I know it sounds mad. Trust me I thought so too.” Arthur said. “But it really is.” 

“Ok. Lead on then sire.” Leon said