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Chapter Text

PROLOGUE

EREN

Interrogating the Marleyan brat who killed Sasha, Eren was surprised to know when a Scout stabbed another in the gut and pointed a gun at him. At further glance, it wasn’t a Scout, and yes an infiltrator, Pieck Finger, he recalled, the Cart Titan shifter.

She spouted about how trapped they were in the internment zone, how their usefulness to Marley was about to end. Her acting skills were great, as she almost sounded sincere, so he played along when she obliged his request to expose the invaders on the town. On the roof of the castle, now the new Jaegerists HQ, Eren asked to the warrior who so nonchalantly infiltrated the Scouts’ rank:

“ Where’s the enemy?”

The woman turned around and pointed to him. Without time to react, the floor collapsed and the Jaw, who he beat to a pulp back in Liberio, raised, biting his legs off.

What would ensue moments later was pure madness.

854.

Shiganshina district, South Wall Maria

Paradisian forces were under a counter assault led by Marley.

Despite being impaled, in a sweeping motion Eren slammed his fist into Jaw's face, sending the smaller titan flying away. Hopefully this one doesn't get up again.

But he did. And so did Reiner. He wished he had more experience using the Warhammer power. They were persistent, at least at that they had a common ground. Were he alone, he’d prevail, he thought. But fighting the Armour and the nimble Jaw while someone atop of the Cart was constantly sniping his titan head was becoming overwhelming. The warriors came ostensibly prepared with how little time they’re given and by all means inspired by the man he once hated the most, Reiner Braun.

He was pinned down and impaled. T his can’t be how I go. This isn’t what I saw. His own memories pushed him forward and in a desperate measure, against all odds Eren tore open the Armored 's jaw with bare hands. His assaulter suddenly flew away, hit by something. From the impact alone, it could only mean his brother had arrived on the battlefield. Which meant the Strongest Soldier was bested. Captain…

Just like in his memories. They never betrayed him, even to the smallest details.

Another shot. A thud. A scream. Lightning. Titans. Death. Sorrow. Anger. Fear. Hope. The smell of smoke and blood was permeated in that town by now, his home burnt by this centuries old war.

With all the shifters incapacitated, Eren crystallized his titan and ran as fast as he could. Reiner almost caught him, but the boys lent him a hand in the end. Despite everything I’ve done they still came for me, he thought, sadly. If things only went differently. How hard he wished for another scenario.

It was moot, there was no point looking back. With Zeke a few steps ahead, the Founder would finally be activated and he would end this war for once and for all. The Gabi brat had a rifle on her hands, ready to shoot, certainly it wouldn’t…

His train of thoughts ended when the world started spinned around… slowly.

Was he dead? Perhaps he miscalculated.

Flashes of his life passed by. Mikasa, Armin, the Scouts, Paradis, Marley, friends and foes… Everyone and everything was there.

After what felt like a long dream, he woke up before an otherworldly tall tree of light. The sky blue as an ocean and his brother in chains just behind. He felt it in his bones what Zeke just confirmed a few moments later: he was in the Paths.

Memories of events long gone flowed through him. Of a lonely girl who stumbled upon a magical tree. Of his father taking care of him. The royal family being massacred. The future and the past. All of it led him to this single moment. 

His disappointment of the humanity outside the walls. 

“I will end this world!”

His yearning for freedom and having to save both his loved ones and his homeland against a world full of hatred towards the very existence of his kind, forced him to discard every single other option for peace in exchange for utter genocide.

Were things always set in stone? And if so, for how long? 

Did it have to be that way? 

“The wall titans will trample every inch of the world beyond this island until every life beyond our shores is wiped out.”

The Rumbling had begun.

I am sorry.

He moved forward. He kept going forward. Because now if he looked back, he would crumble.

Nations on the south, east, north and west. Many would fall beneath the trampling and the fire ensued by the army of colossi bestowing his justice.

He could feel it, every single soul being squashed beneath them, like their foot was his own.

All for Paradis? No .

All for his friends? No

All for his freedom… Or so he thought.

There was no other way…

With a clean cut of her sword, he was finally being put to rest.

Somewhen.

Under the tree.

Mikasa was sitting by a tree on a hill. Is it that tree? Eren thought, confirming his suspicion. So that’s where I was buried. Frankly, he couldn’t ask for a better place. It was a special place for both him and Mikasa. Their home. 

His thoughts felt sluggish and uneven, like an afterthought. His brain was deeply buried below that train, that he was sure, so how was he here? He wasn’t sure. but it made him happy. He wanted to loom in closer to the willowy figure, and whatever creature lent their eyes to him seemed to respond, closing the distance.

She still had the scarf. Why, Mikasa? I told you to toss it away…

“Eren, the others are coming to visit soon”, she said, caressing his gravestone, “doesn’t that make you happy?” 

It did. In the end he won, didn’t he? Paradis survived and his friends would come to see him. If his life was the price to pay for that, he was happy to pay for it.

He kept telling himself that, over and over.

Then why couldn't he feel anything but sadness at this moment? He should be happy. Please Mikasa, be happy. Please, please, I beg you.

And as if sharing his own anguish, tears brimmed in her eyes, and she started to cry inconsolably. No, Mikasa, please don’t cry, I’m right here.

“Eren… I want to see you again.”

Me too. And never in his life he wished for something so much.

Suddenly the bird flew to the blue sky. The blue dismantled and formed itself anew. He was back at the…

The Coordinate where all Paths converge

What? What is going on?

“E-eren?” he heard a friendly voice behind him echoing from a distance, he turned around to see… Armin!

“H-hey, Armin!” He ran to meet his friend. They clashed with a heartfelt hug.

Pulling out of it, his friend began, “why did you summon me again? Not complaining or anything, I just thought we discussed everything we had to back last time.

“L-last time?”, he asked. Eren was confused when exactly that was.

“Yeah, don’t you remember, we discussed you, this mess of rumbling you made, and Mikasa.”

And with a few words, everything became crystal clear again.

“Do you think Mikasa can forget you and live happily with someone?” Armin asked.

“Frankly, I don’t know,” Eren answered.

Eren got slapped by Armin in response. “I’ll need better than a ‘I don’t know’, what happened?”

Eren stared at him, abashed.

“I-I don’t know… I was seeing Mikasa… She was by that tree near Shiganshina and I got back here.”

Armin made his pensive face and replied, “Well, I guess it tracks.”

“Why’s that?”, he asked, hurriedly, “do you know what’s going on?”

“No quite… But, coming here this time felt different than the previous one. It’s not like we met beforehand and you just unlocked the memories of it when they suited you. If you're surprised to see me here, it means it wasn't rational this time.”

In a blink, the dreamlike scenario turned into something else, like a canvas being painted. The image revealed a ceremony in the royal palace, back in Paradis.

“This… This is…” 

“The ceremony after he won the battle at Shiganshina. I remember these necklaces Historia is giving us”, Armin interrupted him, “although that doesn’t explain why we are here.”

They weren’t in the scene as participants, more like spectators watching through a screen.

“This is where I got my memories… of the future.”

“I see. So this is where everything changed for you…”

For a while they both contemplated the view in front of them, arms folded, trying to make sense of it.

“Yes. After I unraveled the memories of the future, I felt many things, about myself and about the world. But mainly I was scared of them being true.

“Knowing the atrocities that would befall me, what would do to the world… It was unsettling. At every moment, I prayed for my memories to be wrong, and every time they were right.

The environment reforged itself as Eren spoke, the screen went to the beach then to a city then to a wasteland affected by footsteps of doom.

“All those people probably didn’t want to die. And yet I ended their lives. I couldn’t break free from the chains of events laid out before me. This was the only way”, he swallowed hard. “If you hadn’t stopped me, I’d have razed the whole earth, and turned it into something else entirely.” He paused and contemplated his work. “There’s no way I’d be forgiven for this.”

For fleeting moments that lasted a lifetime, Armin pondered his words, his genius brain probably trying to work something out of it.

“So…”, Eren attempted to elicit a reaction, “What do you got?”

Nodding to himself, Armin began, “Eren, I too wanted you and Mikasa to be happy, I still do. That we could find a compromise towards peace. But you’re right Eren, what you did is truly unforgivable, and given our situation, it was certainly one plausible option to end the conflict, even if it was heinous. I can’t turn a blind eye to that. Nobody sane could.”

For crying out loud. He expected to hear that, he truly did. Yet a part of Eren wished his friend would devise another plan in the nick of time. 

“So what if you didn’t?”. 

As the screen kept showing his life memories, Eren turned to his friend. 

“I don’t want to die. I want to be here with Mikasa and with everyone else. But it’s not like I had another option.”

“Don’t give up yet! Hear me out” He had that look on his face… Of a creative thinker about to commit to a big idea.

And that got his interest piqued.

“Ok, I’m all ears. Not like we’re in a hurry or anything.” Eren asked, the cheerlessness in his voice reduced.

If brains produced noises upon working, Armin’s certainly would be loud at the moment. 

“Could you explain, in the most details possible, how you transmitted your memories back in time?  

“I… That’s what the Attack titan does, his unique ability. Through it both me and previous Attack titan shifters managed to see memories of the future, that’s it. Sincerely, what difference does it make anyway?”

“Hmm… I didn’t know that ability could extend to former shifters as well.

He continued.

“We inferred that every titan of the Nine had one special, unique ability, and naturally the Attack titan had to have one as well, which is presumably the whole future peeking thing. Although that claim came solely from you Eren”

“Huh? You don’t believe it?”

“No, not that. Of course I believe you, but… Hear me out. You say the Attack titan is what allowed you to peek into your future, so by proxy, you should've ‘unlocked’ that ability long ago right when you acquired it from your dad, or at very least, when you transformed for the first time. 

“So did you?”

“Y-Yeah, so… Wait… No, that’s not possible. My own dad and the shifter before him, Eren Kruger, had the same ability, and they certainly didn’t have the Founder.”

“Yes, but… Urgh, that’s a shot in the dark but here we go: what kind of memories did they see? Your father’s and Kruger’s.”

“Memories of… me”. He froze. No… That’s far-fetched. Perhaps I just didn’t look deep enough. All the memories sent to them were related to him, or precisely about taking the Founder.

“Before being eaten by my dad, Kruger mentioned both you and Mikasa, and how important it was to protect them.”

Now Armin was dumbfounded, and a small grin arose on his face.

“I see. So throughout all their lives, Attack titan shifters received scarce but steady visions of the future, which led them to pass their titan in a way that someday, it arrived to you.

“Naturally, they’d attribute such imagery as the Attack titan’s unique ability, and in a way it was, but I believe not in the way they expected. 

“From what I gathered, peeking at the future is limited to your future, you, who also possess the Founder.

“Yet, when it was your turn, you could only see your own memories after touching Historia, which means the Founder definitely takes a role.”

“Hey Armin, calm down a little. We have all the time in the world here.” 

His friend was frantic, but then he stopped and breathed, calming himself down.

“I guess you can see where this is going now, right?” Armin stopped. Eren nodded. “ I believe what allowed both you and all the Attack titan shifters before you to see your memories is you. You hold the reins! You!”

“Me, with access to the Founder’s power, made it possible. And given how tight knit memories of a single titan’s holders are, the memories went backwards, so they got affected as well… Yeah I did that.”

Now that was something. He never inquired too deep about his connections with the former Attack shifters. But that was certainly possible. Beyond that, as the more he thought about it, the more likely it sounded, almost like this very conversation is what triggered, somehow. Like how the whole chain of events unfolded the very same way he saw years ago.

Following this train of thought, Eren knew, deep in his bones, that his friend was right.

Armin smiled, his smile brighter than sunshine. “Exactly, can you disprove that?”

“No, in fact, I believe you’re right. But then how’d that help us?”

His smile fell upon hearing the question. Was he messing with him? Eren was actually invested in his plan by now.

“Eren, before I say anything else. I must know… If you had another choice, one that’d spare the world from the Rumbling and your own life, would you choose it?”

“Armin… I-I did what I did to protect you guys, and Paradis. I did not enjoy it.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, but that doesn’t answer the question, so let me rephrase it. Would you choose me, Mikasa, and everyone else, even if it meant coliving with lots of people that want us dead?

“Armin, I don’t understand.”

“Tsc.” The blonde was getting visibly frustrated. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, did you do the Rumbling only to protect us? Or was there another, ulterior, reason? Like vengeance”

Vengeance. Eren lingered. Was the Rumbling a means to avenge his mom? His fallen comrades? His lack of freedom behind the walls? The thousands of deaths caused by titans while the entire world watched? It was a disgusting thought, but certainly felt like it was true.

“No, it’s not that. But… you’re right, there was another reason… Armin looked at him expectantly. 

“I just don’t know what it is.” Eren stopped, tears were forming in his eyes. “Sorry, the Founder, all the time here fucked me in the head.”

Silence.

“Probably not the answer you’re expecting huh?”

“It serves. Guess I was trying to assess if you were the Eren of old I knew." His friend nudged his chin mischievously. I guess you’re. After all you are not known for being the brains, are you?”

Armin’s eyes softened, and he laughed. 

"Hey."

Shortly after Eren laughed in tandem.

“So let’s continue, recapping: you lived this once, all this hell, and transmitted it back to yourself in the past, your past self lived it through again, based on what you experienced previously. That happened over and over, in a sort of twisted self fulfilling cycle.

“But now, instead of only you, add me to the mix! Send me your memories, or my memories if you can, back to my younger self.” 

Assuming I can do it? What’d we do?

Armin wavered. 

“Eren, the possibilities are endless, we can… Talk it through if w-”

“Of course that’d be your call. Hmpf, to talk it through.” Eren bore a scorned look. “Do you seriously think that will take us far?  That I didn’t consider speaking about it these last four years?” He asked. That last bit sounded nasty, but he couldn’t back down on something so serious. “Sorry Armin, I don’t believe this is the way.”

They both looked crestfallen for a while, contemplating the razed soil beneath them.

Armin broke the silence.

“You’re right, it won’t solve this ordeal. And while I agree your option to enclose yourself about your… state was detrimental, that was on you, and also me for not noticing it”, he stood up, eyes brimming with determination? Really? When will you give up?

“Arm-”

“If we do this, we’ll need more than talk, we’ll need action and… violence, yes, even if it pains me to admit it. Not indiscriminate violence like your solution, but some. Our titan powers may be exerted to their limits, and casualties will surely happen, but I reiterate, if we also talk it through, bring together a group of trustworthy folk, from Paradis and, perhaps even… from outside… We could definitely fare better, don't you think?

“Hmm. I guess so?” he responded, slowly rising to meet his friends’ eyes. 

“And that thingy, the screen canvas that was transmitting the royal ceremony moved forward, or backward in time to when they were both clashing in their colossal titan form. The absurdity of it put them both, now as spectators, in awe. “That’s some view, huh? Look, I believe no one should have a power like that. And if what I saw is right, the glowing thing is the source of the Founder’s power? Correct?”

“Yes. This was the same thing that gave Ymir, the original Founder, the power to transform into titans.”

“So if we somehow get rid of that thing from you and kill it”, his tone changed. Was he pitying the damn thing? “or disable it somehow, we can perhaps end the curse of titans.”

Eren was uncertain whether that last bit would work. It was dangerous, Eren knew, to put their trust in other people, and bear the risk of betrayal yet again. But it was undeniable, if they could be… persuasive about their situation and bring more people to the fold, and find a way to end the titan’s curse, perhaps it’d be possible… He would be able to live with Mikasa and…

He was more inclined to accept his friend’s offer, even if the odds were all against them. Eren took it in silence. Pensive and inquiet. Send memories back in time to someone else… Is it possible? That should be something on the Founder’s remit. But… To risk going through it all over again.

He looked at his friend expectantly.

“Armin, if we slip and fail, how would it be any different from our timeline right now? That the Rumbling wouldn’t happen again?” 

His friend, as quickly as he gazed at the floor beneath him, turned his eyes back to him, smirking. “Because… We’d be together. I’ll bear the same sins as yours.”

Eren gasped. 

“Would you go that far? Even if it costs your life?”

One thing was for him to forgo this timeframe if it meant a new chance at seeing Mikasa again. He was by all means a dead man at that moment. But Armin had his whole life ahead of him!

 “Look back!” The screen veiled the titans failing and the rumbling ending. “The path for freedom being open to you. You’ll be together with Annie, and be a figure of hope in this new world I built.”

Armin glanced at the screen behind him without much thought. He was unfazed.

“I don’t care, yes, this present might be good to me personally, but I want you to be part of it as well, even if it costs my own life. ”

“Why?” he asked in his most pleading and pathetic voice.

“Do I need to repeat myself again?” his friend said, now fully smiling.

They locked their eyesight. Armin was so full of warmth, how could it be? After everything he’d done. Between viewing Mikasa back at the tree and Armin now, Eren’s heart didn’t beat that intensely full of emotion in like, a year? The sentiment felt almost alien to him, but it was also cathartic. The way his friend spoke it so casually, like he was just offering himself for an easy errand.

“Don’t you think she would prefer it as well?” Armin said, placing a hand on his shoulders.

“Mikasa…“

“Yes”

“I don’t kn-”

“You do, you do know. You just saw it man! It’s why you brought me here, no? You want to see her again!” he shouted.

His tears began to fall. And soon he was sobbing. Just like Mikasa’s tears. Shortly, Armin hugged him again. With a whisper he responded “yes.”

To which Armin also whispered, despite having an entire plane for their conversation.

“The world is out there for us. It’s uglier than we thought, but it's still there. Let’s be truthful to ourselves, and do the best we can to see it with our own eyes.”

They could see it through the paths. But it felt unearned somehow. If they found peace, and undid the curse of the Titans just as he was about to, then Armin’s word would become true. It wouldn’t be easy, far from easy. But anything is better than the hand he’s got.

Slowly the friends departed the hug, letting emotions flow for a while. Eren sombered.

“I believe… It’s possible, if the founder Ymir sees fit… I can send both our memories back in time.”

“Tha-That’d be wonderful!” the shorter man was grinning.

“But then, there’ll be some caveats. These memories are seldom… whole. Most of the time they’re weird and disjointed. We’ll need to sort them out first hand.”

“Well. That seems like something we can do”, his friend said, tilting his head. That would be so easy with you.

“And it’s very likely that we won’t remember this conversation too. Don’t ask me why, but anything related from the Paths is weird turf, it could go both ways. It’s kinda odd.”

“So…”

“By all accounts, all you’ll see in me is a murderer, and this talk of ours will be for naught. Your memories will be of events handpicked by… well, us.”

That didn’t seem to faze his friend, at this point, nothing looked like it could.

“But… I believe you won’t judge me for it, and will try to understand why these memories came to you in the first place. With you, we’ll be back on track quickly.”

“Huh. Thank you for your faith. I appreciate it.”

Eren simply nodded.

“So… What happens now?”

This time he smiled. “Let’s figure it out.”

They both smiled.

[...]

A long time later

In an instant, Eren felt like everything until this point was nothing more than a dream, as deep as one would have sleeping on a cozy bed during a breezy, rainy night. 

His senses returned, and along them a faint sense of loneliness. That soon faded away, as the warmth on his lips halted. A scramble of images was the only thing left. He found himself in a requinted, familiar room. Opening his eyes, In front of him, a small hand, which he held delicately. 

Historia’s hand.

Chapter Text

PART 1 - Winds of the East

ARMIN

His eyes shot awake after what felt like a long dream. 

What was that? Everything around him seemed to fade away as he lost track of time within new received thoughts. 

Flashes of events transcurred his mind in an instant. Human faces all around, mingled together without any likelihood with sceneries the boy had never seen. Among the faces, people he knew, bearing different looks than usual, and lots whom he did not. 

Fields of green, forests of stones, barren lands, endless portions of water… The sea? Inventions he could not comprehend, such as a horseless carriage and a balloon shaped structure atop the sky, weapons far deadlier than those they used.

The known and unknown, friends, foes, green fields, cities far bigger than those within the Walls, and as requinshed as those from the interior, if not more. Walls inside, walls outside, pure titans and colossal titans… everywhere, fire and blood. Explosion. Ships flying. A boat flying in the air, a winged beast, an army of white titans over a giant rib cage.

So much pain, so much agony and sorrow, but also, happiness and relief sprinkled in between.

He could go on, trying to decipher everything laid upon him. Too much . Too much he saw, and too much he could not comprehend. He wondered how his mind didn’t fry at that surge of information, or whatever it was. 

850, Trost District

Armin, taking far more effort than he anticipated, subdued himself to a calmer facade. Slowly… Just breathe, he kept telling himself. What is this trickery? His mind was ecstatic and heart was pounding really hard. It reminisced the time when he confronted the traitors, Reiner and Berthold, or when he first killed a person. The sensation was definitely similar to what he was feeling right now.

He turned his head towards Eren and realized his friend was also stiffer than usual after kissing her hand. Historia looked at his friend absentmindedly, probably concerned over his reaction. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one to look unsettled, but his friends’ reaction was definitely suspicious.

Eren cooled himself, thankfully, and Historia moved on. From the very moment he got these visions, Armin knew they weren’t fabricated, they were lived… not dreams, memories. But from when? And from whom? From their nature, his own.

How can this be?

It wouldn’t bode well for him to raise suspicions right there during the ceremony. And it seemed to happen just after Eren’s mouth made contact with Historia’s hand. But why? Armin glanced aside to his friend, Mikasa. She kissed Historia’s hand just before, and yet nothing happened to her. Well, she’s an Ackerman, afterall. Although she’s pretty good at hiding her true feelings . He himself looked fine after a brief moment. He hoped no one caught his blank face.

Whatever was going on with him it’d be too odd to happen with everyone else except Eren. Eren was different, the exception. An entire world differentiated him from the others. Him and Armin were nothing alike… Except… Being a titan shifter. 

Being a shifter. That was still such a novelty to him. Becoming the feared Colossal wasn’t something he anticipated after heading for Shiganshina, nevermind wanted it. Having yet to transform, sometimes Armin tries to convince himself that he wasn’t the one to inherit, as he didn’t notice any physical changes compared to his previous form.

But his memories didn’t lie, he lived through Berthold’s life, at least part of it. And now, he just saw his life, but beyond, like something he had yet to live. Could these visions be things he’s going to live? No, that’s too nonsensical. It’s very much known that a Titan shifter inherits memories of its predecessor, but nothing so far indicates any sorts of clairvoyance.

But still, it bugged him how similar both Berthold’s memories and the visions he just saw felt. Should he tell Hange about it? As a commander, they would have no choice but to report it to the upper ranks, and Armin couldn’t commit to that. He barely knew how truthful these visions are.

So that was it, it could all be a ruse still, he needed to do some fact checking. The earliest events these visions foretold him were to happen three days from now, where he made his first transformation into the colossal on a training site. 

The ceremony took a few more hours, with cours of discourses and discussion about further steps and the Scout Regiment reconstruction.

He and Eren shared a room at an inn close to the city gates. Even after becoming heroes, the interior still pushes us outside. The Military Police want their heroes close, but not too close. Perhaps it was for the better.

Floch’s discourse about being a commoner among "heroes" hit home. Armin wished he could do something about it, and seeing how that ginger boy turned out in the future, it’d be wise to do something about it. But he had more pressing concerns now.

It was almost night when they left the palace. After departing from Mikasa on their way to the inn, Armin stopped. Should I tell him what I saw?

“Armin… Anything’s the matter?” Eren asked, glancing at him. 

He’s likely as confused as I am right now, if he really saw what I saw , Armin thought. But again, he decided for caution. “No, nothing, let’s go”.

“Alright”, Eren replied, “ah, I’m pooped. Need some rest.”

Me too, dear friend. It was enough information for a day, he wasn’t ready to confront his friend. Yet.

Because first he needed to sort out what he saw for himself. A peaceful night of sleep was forsaken, the first of many to come.

Southwest within Wall Rose

“Alright, this is the place”. Said Levi. 

A handful of soldiers from the Garrison lead by Levi escorted Armin

The place was the most mundane grass field you could find, except for the   

The location was chosen as one of the fewer populated areas within Wall Rose, and after alerting the locals from the nearest village of the test site, Setrün, they were clear to go.

“As we spoke, ten minutes from now you’ll see a green flare, with it you’re good to go.

“Good luck, Armin.” Added Hange.
“T-thanks.”

Exactly ten minutes later, Armin spotted the flare.

He grabbed the knife in his pocket and aimed for his hands. 

Armin wavered, he saw Eren biting his hands numerous times, and still it didn’t make wounding himself any easier.

“The pain vanishes instantly, once you transform.” Said Eren, a while ago.

He inhaled and exhaled, slowly. 

“Just the wound is not enough, you gotta visualize your goal.”

I can do this, I can do this. 

He cut his hands and i n the same instant everything became so bright while a pricking sensation spread all over his body, paired with a engulfing warmth akin to when a cold hand absorbs the heat from a fire but stronger, way stronger. He felt his spine extend, as new nerves came out of his nape forming what would be the titan bones and from them the muscles. So hot. He felt his chest and limbs growing bigger and tighter. Vines of flesh threads and nerves crawling from the skin under his eyes sockets. His heart pounded like never before, sendings pulses of excitement everywhere, the heat was immeasurable, and together with it he could hear a mumbled thunder. The explosion.

Today, the Titan that destroyed Shinganshina’s gate and unleashed hell on Wall Maria six years ago would return again, but as an ally.

After everything was over, he felt a strain on the body, it was heavier, stronger and taller. So high. It was remarkably wet too. So much destruction. All his to command. No one should have that power.

And there it was, the same scenery of his visions. They were real, and very accurate. He did the as little as possible to alter anything since the ceremony and the result was identical to what he saw in the memories, the same place, the same time and the most surprising one, the same sensation as his memory foretold him.

The following happened exactly as he saw: questions about the transformation, inspect the blast radius, how he felt during and after the transformation, and more. He couldn’t be bothered by any of that, still, it was important for him to at least pretend to be excited, lest anyone suspect anything from him. Despite being Paradis’ new trump card, being interrogated by Levi wasn’t among his favorite activities.

Back to Trost

Armin took every single night after the ceremony going through his new memories.  So far he solved his first few doubts: the visions were from his point of view, and they were accurate, albeit scarce at moments. It’s not like he had every day ahead of him unveiled, just a few, but big moments, like his transformation a few days earlier. In that regard it almost felt like the memories shown were handpicked by someone, but who? And more importantly for what purpose? Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t find an answer.

The memories were ingrained into him, and every other night he had a dream based on the visions. Sometimes, a few times, it was good, like some moments with his friends on the beach or some time alone with Annie, but most were really frightening, sad, or both. 

If he had to classify, his memories could be divided in two parts in a timeline. The first laid out a very plausible scenario where Paradis would evolve, build a harbour, make contact with another nation and then get to know the world that kept them isolated. Nothing so crazy about it. 

It was after visiting Marley that things went off rails. The world’s unwavering hatred for the subject of Ymirs but more specifically to Paradisians was shocking. How could they hate a people they had never seen? He couldn’t wrap his mind around that. Eren’s reaction upon seeing the beach was much more coherent in hindsight.

The same Eren who ultimately drove himself from the scouts to work with Zeke, which led to the attack on Liberio…

Where I murdered thousands, he thought bitterly. His worst nightmares were about that night. It was necessary, necessary, necessary… He kept telling himself, clutching his shirt. I would never do that if there was another way.

Marley rebutted, of course, and chaos ensued. In the end, they were victorious, or so he thought. His best friend unleashed the worst catastrophe imagined to the entire world, and he was one of the few that could do anything to stop him.

Arranging an unlikely alliance, he moved forward to stop the rumbling. The name gave him shivers. In that brief time after Shiganshina, he met Annie. Just thinking about it gave him an adrenaline rush. She was back to them, to him. She, whom he confided so many things through the years the memories foretold, was a girl he always sympathized with, even when she was a declared enemy. But if he had to say, his feelings evolved to true camaraderie, he wanted to see her well and happy, back to her father. No, he would see to that, consequences be damned. These memories had a weird effect on him, he longed for her, despite not actually seeing her for years.  

I have to see her again. Even in crystal form, her presence gave him tranquility, and Walls if he didn’t need that now. Yet oddly, thinking about her made his heart quicken. Go figure...

Which made him wonder, what if she has memories of her own? It was both an exciting and disturbing line of thought. Memories of being trapped in a crystal for four years didn't sound enticing. And if she had memories as well, it meant the Warriors across the ocean also gained memories of their own. This could get pretty complicated. He remembered their alliance when the rumbling began. It was far-fetched, but it was something he would like to replicate, if possible. He held no ill will towards any of them.

He pushed the thought back, he needed to focus on what he could do, the painful subject that was his best friend Eren Yeager.

It was heartbreaking to see his best friend’s fallout right in front of his eyes. His childhood friend slowly grew apart from their group, all while he did jack shit to stop it. You useless piece of crap, Armin thought, angry, gripping his arms with enough force to hurt him. Eventually, driven to a corner, Eren unleashed the worst judgement possible to everyone outside the island, thus becoming the devil the marleyan feared.

If he and Mikasa had just spoken to him more… 

His eyes widened. Perhaps that was the reason! To do what he couldn’t before.

For him and everyone, he’d find a way to dissuade Eren of the rumbling, and have Paradis survive. Knowing everything beforehand changed the game. To analyze his future like that meant being able to choose the best possible outcome early on. And the best outcome involved him, Eren, Mikasa, Annie and everyone else alive and well, without the world nor Paradis being burnt to ashes.

It was greedy of him, he knew, but he couldn’t forgive himself if he didn't try. To achieve that end he needed Eren on his side. His friend needed to know he was on the same wavelength as him. 

Despite living in the same house, Eren didn’t attempt any talks regarding titan memories with him in the one week that passed after the ceremony, not even Berthold’s, which meant he wasn’t really in the mood for such a subject, being a victim of it himself. Armin was confident Eren had no idea he inherited memories from the future, but Armin knew he had, because although he wanted to appear as normal as possible, Armin heard him screaming by himself late at night twice already. A nightmare, just like mine. The toll it took on Eren was as big, if not bigger than his own.

It would be a touchy topic, and frankly, he had no idea how Eren would react. But he had to take the initiative, there was no other choice moving forward. Without further delays, the next day he and Eren would have a talk. The dinner at Jean’s would have to wait.

Chapter Text

MIKASA

The change of grunts, instructions and shooting to the dimming sound of fire’s crackling inside the armory room was how Mikasa knew night settled in. Both her and Levi had been assigned to repurpose the classic ODM gear. So for days and days now Mikasa would hear from him: “Mikasa, meet me at the armory after your training”. It was almost a ritual at this point. 

So there she was, working till late at the headquarters’ armory office.

“That pistol is still very unbalanced. That’s what we can conclude based on everyone’s feedback,” said Mikasa.

“So it seems. They won’t be able to shoot well with that thing despite the grapple hooks staying at the hip,” replied Levi, inspecting the weapon’s barrel. 

They pondered over the sketches. It was a model used by the Interior Police, or better, by the Kenny squad. Huge firepower, easy to reload, but rather poor accuracy.

“Screw it, let’s scrap this thing altogether” said Levi, letting out a sigh and dropping the handgun on the table along the sketches, “we’re not going anywhere with this huge barrel of a gun.”

“Jean, Sasha… They were able to use it with precision”, she protested, “It’ll take time for everyone else to adapt, but it can be done.”

“Maybe, but even then, none of them managed to use it alongside the thunder spears, and if we have to choose between one of them, you know which will be chosen.”

That was indeed a problem, not even her was able to effectively swap the spears and cannon in mid-air proficiently. It was out of realm for other soldiers. Still, it stung to have her last few weeks’ work discarded right away.

“We need a good mix of mobility, precision and firepower. With this cannon alone we’re losing all of that. Perhaps you’re right, it’s unsalvageable.” She concluded.”

Usually she’d think how befitting it was for her, being one of Paradis’ most effective soldier, to help fortify their allies against the nasty, cruel world that awaited them. If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don’t fight, you can’t win was a recurrent thought of her to combat the utter boredom in that grim room. It kept her grounded, but truth be told she’d rather be somewhere else, with her friends preferably. 

Levi snapped her out of her thoughts, “you all have seen Kenny’s squad using it. Its weakness is blatant, we’ll have to go for another firearm model, " Levi sat down, tapping the table with his fingers impatiently.“

“Are you sure we can’t have anti-personnel and anti-titans units separate?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“That’s out of question. Higher-ups demand that every soldier knows how to fight both, and have the equipment to do so.”

After their return from the expedition to the sea, the military underwent some expected arrangements. The garrison, the MP and the (very reduced) survey corps all became an integrated regiment function wise, with nothing but a single goal: the defense of Paradis. Apparently that’s how other nations operated their army, well, at least Marley’s, according to Grisha. So now, titans and humans alike were possible enemies.

The short man hummed.

“Leave it to me, I’ll figure something out with your commander. Either way, nothing will come from overstaying here today.” He grabbed a bunch of sheets and glanced at the exit door.  “You’re dismissed. Get some rest, you worked a lot”.

Unexpected, but well, not unwelcome. “Uh. Yeah. I see. See you later, captain”.

[...]

The warmth of the fireplace inside pushed the cold away, making place for tiredness. How sweet, she smiled to herself. Sasha probably lit it up before going for Connie’s. While in the bath she took her time to think whether or not she’d join, she wanted to, but her body protested. Going outside in the dew became increasingly tougher each night. It was late autumn, and the cold was already staggering. Eren and Armin probably will be there too. And suddenly she didn’t feel like missing.

She and Sasha lived a good 10 minutes walk away from the boys after they moved to Vrees, a new Trost’s uptown. “A piece of the interior in Trost” was how the constructor presented it when giving the houses’ keys. Construction of the neighborhood started about three years ago, but lost steam by 849. It got picked up again by <Fat Guy uprising arc> in a partnership with the military and given to the current and the new survey corps member as a reward of sorts for the “bravest soldiers of our land.” So at the time, the ones from the 104th regiment squad were the only ones there. The place was spacious, with a kitchen separated from the dining room, two bedrooms, each with a bathroom, fireplace and lukewarm water. A catch though, was that their new houses were separated in blocks by gender, to ensure that “ boys and girls behave” . How foolish. Zacharis was a weird man to let this go through. 

So now she lived with Sasha, the only other girl from their select group. It took her some acclimation to walk outside her place without Eren and Armin by her side, so she kinda envied them, but on a normal day that’d be nothing that could detain her from hopping over. In this cold though, it was a pain in the ass.

It would be nice if they made something here instead. Her dearest friend advocated for them to hold their friday meetup at their place, but the boys would argue that it’d be only convenient for Sasha herself, as Mikasa would be at work still. That was the price she paid for overworking herself. 

She wore her warmest shirt dress and a dark brown trench coat. Her scarf came along nicely in this weather, and on it she could feel Eren’s faint scent. Eren. The mere thought of seeing him made her decision easier. 

[...]

She could hear giggles inside as she knocked on the door. Connie showed up.

“Who could be right now- Eh! Mikasa! Come in!” Said the boy. Guess they weren’t expecting me. It was nice to be a surprise once in a while.

“Thanks Connie,” she said, entering the house.

Jean was behind the balcony and Sasha further behind handling a pot.

“Hi Mikasa!” He and Sasha echoed, in unison.

She greeted them back, easily she could see everyone was having a messy fun, and it was really warm indoors, which was nice. Eren and Armin though, were nowhere to be found. How weird.

And just when she was about to ponder about their whereabouts, a delicious smell invaded her nostrils. That smell, they probably have been…

“Mikasa! Ya in the nick of time, we’ve just cooked some broth! “ Shouted Sasha, carrying a rather big pot over to the table in the dining room. “We are just about to savor, actually, so… yeah, good timing!” 

Jean and Connie closed in to the table and bestowed the pot with a chicken broth stares and… sniffs. Longs sniffs, and many of them with different reactions. Are they assessing the meal?

“So?”Sasha asked, tiptoeing.

“Definitely an improvement there, it looks and smells adequately”, Jean started, eyes closed. 

“That’s a fair judgment, chef Kirstein”, replied Connie.

Mikasa was skeptical. The meal in front of her looked delicious. If her eyes could taste, they’d be pleased. Somewhat she felt the boys had the same feeling towards the food before them, but chose to be subdued on their commentary, for some reason. 

“Shall we proceed then? This is begging to be savored”, Sasha asked, tucking a handkerchief above his shirt. 

“Absolutel-”, Connie was shouting, “I mean, yes, let’s proceed.”

Everyone sat at the table and began serving themselves. Sasha and Connie on one side, her and Jean on another. For someone of her appetite, Sasha was very composed near the steaming pot, not making a move towards the food, at least so far. Jean took a sip to his mouth and sipped it.

“Tasty, mine’s an 9.” Connie pointed out. 

“Hmmm.” He slowly munched over the food in his mouth. “The broth is smooth, the veggies are neither too mushy nor is the meat too crunchy, the salt is unnoticeable and the pepper is on point.” He indulged in another spoon.

“This is a textbook Hühnerbrühe, and I’m feeling generous today, my apprentice. So in that department I’ll give it an 8.1!”

“An 8.1? That’s…”, 

“That’s right, you’ve grown a lot, little one”, kept Jean, with a signature look of superiority.

Sasha’s giddy face suddenly turned wroth “That’s bollocks Jean! We’re being serious here.”

Jean turned to her. “You see Mikasa, my apprentice is eager to reach my level of cuisine skills, but she still has a long road ahead.” He turned to Sasha. “Are you unsatisfied with my rating, dear apprentice?”

“Cut the crap! It should’ve been higher!” Sasha stood, slamming the table softly. “How can it be a textbook Hühnerbrühe and have 8.1 grade at the same time?”

Suddenly, Jean’s face soured, “because it tastes like an 8.1 Hühnerbrühe!”

No way she was going to argue it with a pot of food in front of her.

To Mikasa’s surprise, Sasha wasn’t having it. “And how could it be better than a ‘textbook Hühnerbrühe’? 

Mikasa looked at Connie, who shrugged helplessly like he was unable to prevent what was happening. 

“It lacked soul. Your own touch!” Jean said, pinching the air with his hands. 

“Bollocks! Ya never said t’was a thing, like ever!” Sasha would usually adopt her bumpkin speech whenever she was irritated. “Is that because Mikasa’s here?”

Oh.  

“ You’re the one nitpicking my review because Mikasa’s here!” He blurted. “What about Connie’s review? 

“He’as honest, ‘Tasty’ and a 9.5. It makes sense!”

“Mine does too! Right connie?”

To Jean's dismay, the smaller boy, who looked like a puppy during the entire ordeal, pondered for a while and said “I don’t think so, Jean.”

His answer didn’t satisfy his friend in the slightest, Jean’s eyes went wide. “What? You’re picking her side now?”

“You clearly did her dirty this last month. Her rate barely improved!”

“That’s because she stagnated.”

That is so…

“Hey, hey! Mikasa’s here, let her give it a take too.” Connie sparked, trying to appease the debaters.

Huh? That wasn't part of the plan. “Don’t be rash” she was beginning to say.

“Nice idea!” Sasha promptly shouted, interrupting her. “Mikasa, take a sip.” She gave her a spoon.

Jean pondered. “Hmm, normally she wouldn’t, our deal says so.

“C’mon Jean! Mikasa never comes around,” said Connie, looking at her, “No offense.“

“None taken.”

“And I mean, what about Eren and Armin? They rate our meals sometimes too.”

That reminded her of them. Where are they?  

“Well yeah, but their rating is… honorary, it doesn’t really count”, Jean pouted, folding his arms.

“Duuhr. Of course it counts!” Said Sasha, folding her arms as well.

“No, it doesn’t?”

“Why not?”

The taller boy steadied himself like he was about to engage in a fight and made a three with his hand, “rule nº3: only those who cook may rate the cooks. We just opened an exception for them.”

Sasha seemed appalled. “You just made that up!”

“Of course not! Your memory may be failing but I made this rule so you two wouldn’t bring bribed guests here all the time!” Jean added, pointing to both Connie and Sasha.

“Actually, I think I remember that as well” Said Connie rubbing his chin. “Right, Sasha?” Sasha was frozen in silence with an expression as bad as when she comes home to find the pantry empty.

“Sasha…?” Asked Connie in a pleading voice, truth slowly materialized in his eyes. 

“Well, well, well. Look what we have here…” Said Jean, smirking.

“Are you kidding me Jean? You never said it was against the rules!” Exclaimed Sasha.

“I knew it!”, Jean said, bumping his fists.

“How many times Sasha?” Connie fully turned around to face her. “This is serious.”

“None, Connie! No times. I’d never do that!”, replied the girl, waving her arms. Needless to say they weren’t buying it after she just confessed the crime. How far have you fallen, Sasha…

“That’s probably how you brought Mikasa as well!” Added Jean. 

“No! It wasn’t. Tell them Mikasa!” She wasn’t one to entertain food quarrels, but she would indulge. If she was being honest, she was having fun as well.

Looking back, at times Sasha actually asked her out to Jean’s house to try out a certain food. She didn’t pay much mind at the moment, but at times, she promised to pay for her lunch for a week after. That day in particular, she just asked out of courtesy. “ We’ve been promoted. Isn’t that cause for celebration?” was her reasoning. It was a solid argument, even though she knew no extra reasons were needed to celebrate with her friends.  

“She didn’t.”She stifled a laugh. It was hard to suppress it any further “but she most certainly tried.” 

Sasha’s eyes widened followed by Connie screaming “Whaaat?” Suddenly, she looked very small near Jean. A scold would certainly ensue.

And in the, while in the peak of happiness that day would offer her she suddenly felt a feeling of sadness engulfing her feelings, rendering their chatter to a hum as she narrowed her eyes. 

It bothered her that this was her first time gathering with them like that in what? A year? It wasn’t for a lack of incentive, her friends oftenly invited her to hang out, sometimes even random men would. She was never a party goer, but lately, especially after the expedition to Shiganshina, she didn’t hang out at all.

“I must say, it’s impressive you’ve kept going for this long, that’s commitment I won’t lie. But it was all for naught, congratulations.” Jean pointed, and without conceding a breach for further discussion he directed their attention at Mikasa. “Seeing the honesty of our guest here, I say she may give a grade, if she wants.”

All eyes were on her.

“If you insist…” She said, taking a spoonful to her mouth. She took a sip, and… It was as good as it looked. She almost wanted to scowl at Jean afterwards, “Jean, I wonder… How can you criticize this? It’s delicious.”

Jean rubbed his cheeks… “Err, I mean, that’s basically what I said… But give it a number, 0 to 10.”

“Okay. Well”, as funny as it was, she didn’t want to initiate another food war over there. She went to appease both Jean and more importantly Sasha, who she shared the kitchen with every other night in their house, “I’d say, as a rookie on this whole convo, a 9.”

Content with her answer, Sasha began devouring her bowl, Connie and Jean followed suit.

Later, Jean would explain the origin of their so-called Corps Tasting. It all started with a food contest between Jean and Sasha back on the 104th training corps where “against all odds”, Jean won. It seems like Armin and even Annie participated. 

“And since then, we meet at least once every month to cook, taste and rate handpicked recipes”, Jean.

It was much more pleasant talking with a full stomach.

“So what do you think about the deal?”Connie asked.

“I like it. It's pleasant and harmless. I wish I could have joined you sooner.”

Despite many refusals, they never ceased inviting her. 

“You’re here now, that’s what matters”, said Sasha. 

Mikasa smiled. Here I am. Being there with them was soothing, a feeling most certainly welcomed after a long day of work.

After supper, Mikasa proposed to do the dishes but was promptly denied by Connie, so she stayed near the fireplace chit chatting. It was cozy in there, although now she wished Eren and Armin were there as well. When Connie and Sasha fell asleep on the sofa Mikasa knew it would be time to leave. Jean followed her and Sasha to the door.

“You don’t happen to know where Eren and Armin are?”, she asked, before embarking in the cold.

“Heh”, the boy hummed, “I guess we’re pretty cool to not have you ask about them till now”, he smiled to himself, “just kidding”. He put a hand on his chins and began to think. “If I had to guess, they didn’t leave their house today. They looked off today, zipped to the top of the Wall at some point” The boy hummed. “Frankly, I don’t know. Me and Connie should’ve dragged their asses here, they live just a quarter from here…”

“No problem Jean, it was marvelous without them. Thanks for inviting me in. I appreciate it”, she said, grabbing Sasha by her waist. 

“That’s nada, you’re always welcome here and you know it”, suddenly he looked worried, “Are you gonna be alright? Sasha dozed off.”

Mikasa nodded “I’ve seen her in worse states”, she said, and turned to leave, “Good night.”

“Good night, Mikasa. Catch you later.”

It seemed that on their way back Sasha would basically have to be dragged. Sometimes she would mutter some ineligible words that Mikasa long ago gave up on deciphering, as usual of her after overeating. 

The clouds had taken over the skies. It was dark. Everything screamed for her to go home, but she decided to take a detour and check on the boys. Eren… He didn’t join us tonight. S he wondered why. Perhaps Jean was right, and he and Armin really fought. If they came to that, she would be necessary in mending it. Arriving at their home, she found all the lights blacked out. Well, it was worth the try.

Going past the house, she heard a door creak, and someone leaving. Her heart sped a little, it was Eren.

“Hey Mikasa”, said him, quickly approaching her. He was wearing a poncho over his clothing.“What are you doing here?” 

“H-hi, Eren.” She halted. The post near them provided her enough light to distinguish his facial features. He looked tired, but not like someone sleeping. “I was at Connie’s house with Sasha, and… Well, you weren’t there, nor Armin, so I came to check in”, she said.

Eren

“We had a talk… About certain things”, he said, huffing. For an instant he looked uneasy. “We couldn’t delay it. Sorry if we worried you, we’re good now.” And quickly later he rubbed his head and… smiled? His smile complimented his features so well she felt bad he kept it for himself so much. He’d like to see him smile more, preferably everyday. 

“Anyways, you good? How was your evening?”, he said, now holding a smirk upon eyeing Sasha by her arm. 

As you can see here.” She pointed to Sasha’s half asleep state. “As good as it can get.”

He chuckled. “Did she overeat?”.

“When doesn’t she”, to which he chuckled. 

“True. Now I wish I had gone…”, he said, mopping.

“So do I. But nonetheless, it’s good to see you.” Something about him was different in the last few days. She couldn’t quite tell what, though. She just hoped whatever he and Armin discussed would actually improve things for him, and if not, he could come to her. She would be there for him, now and always.

Sasha sneezing put a stop on her thoughts. Sounds like any kind of conversation would be moot carrying Sasha like that, so Mikasa made to move.

“Eh… Gotta take her home”, she said, sheepishly. “See you tomorrow?”. She would see him tomorrow, and the day after, but any motive to hear his voice any longer was valid.

“I could get you home…”, he said and quickly cleared his throat afterwards, “I mean, it’s very late and chilly out here. Just for safety.”

Vrees was a new neighborhood with barely anyone but them in it. No one in their minds would disturb them, and she pitied those that would try to harm her or any of her friends. Still, hearing him asking that gave her a cozy feeling inside. “Well then, if you insist…”

He jogged inside and brought another poncho of his with him, promptly covering both her and Sasha atop their overalls. And so she spent the remaining five minutes walking back to her home accompanied by her drunk best friend and her special one.

Close to her and Sasha’s house, she came back to the subject of her night.

“So…” she began, coyly, “did Sasha ever bribe you to join their… cooking review?”, she asked. Her tiredness was beginning to affect her head, it seemed.

“Huh? Bribing?” 

She nodded as confirmation. He twirled his mouth, beginning to think. “I… They don’t call me everytime, but when they do, it’s usually her.” He stared up. That angle and lighting definitely favours his features , she thought, if they only were on more intimate grounds, she’d brandish that cheek with a surprise peck. The thought made her feel all tingly inside, as quickly as it came she pushed it aside.

“Thinking about it. She always offered me something to ‘convince’ me”, he turned his gaze to Sasha, slightly bewildered, “I thought she was just being nice. Still, what was she bribing for?”

“Good rating on her meals”, she said.

“What else?”

"Hmm... Nothing, I guess" 

“So that’s all?” His bewilderment was growing stronger. 

“Yep. And in the end Jean caught her in the act.”

“I doubt that. He ? How?” Eren asked, clearly unconvinced. 

“I think he was already suspicious. But I may have snitched on her.”

“Oh” he laughed, “Sasha has it rough with you huh? It reminds when you said she was farting to save our asses from Shadis”

Oh well. Putting it like that made her feel kinda bad for her friend.

“I hope you’re not feeling bad, though”, Eren snapped her out of it. “She wanted you to go to this meeting for a long time.” 

She felt that. 

“Damn, I really should have gone…” He smiled, but his voice sounded far.

After successfully placing Sasha in her bed, Mikasa returned to give Eren a goodbye. Back on the door, she thanked him for coming along. 

“Mission success?” he asked, in a playful tone.

“Target delivered”, she completed. It wasn’t the first time she delivered Sasha to her bed. It became a joke between them.

Chat comes and goes. And when she thought it was over, he asked a question that would protrude her mind all night long.

“Mikasa…” He struggled, but eventually made eye contact with her. “Do you think I am a good person?”

Now that was a question. The timing, the circumstance. Her hitch about his mental state suddenly proved correct. There was something off going on with him. Without thinking much further, she touched the scarf on her neck, “I… You’re good to me.”

She didn’t know what to make of his face upon hearing her response, so she continued. “I guess I don’t need to tell you why. Do I?” she extended her scarf for him to see. When her world flipped on its head eight years ago, that scarf bound them together, and would continue to do so for the years to come. 

“I see. Thanks." And with that, a half smile formed on his lips. "Have a good night, Mikasa.”

“Good night, Eren. Sweet dreams.”

It didn’t go over her head why he would ask something like that out of the blue, but she came to a conclusion that was a topic for another day.

Returning to her room, the pulsating pressure around her head instantly ramped up which made her moan in pain. Her head was pounding as her temple twitched. She could feel her blood pumping, each time intensifying her head pain to a point it felt like it was going to explode. The dimly lit surroundings became even darker, No, please no, not now. She had such a nice day, why couldn’t…

Before she even fully rationalized what was happening, a flash of sensations began to flurry her mind. 

First, images. Most of them, incomprehensible. But not all. She could distinguish Eren in them. He was beautiful. There was also a big open building in the background, with lots of people around and stoney titans? They all looked weirdly fancy. The ground was uneven and she felt a rush of adrenaline. Shortly after, a smell of metal and smoke contrasted with a sweet and wet taste on her mouth spiralled further her confusion. In the peak of her pain, she could feel the touch of a cylinder in her hand, with people screaming with different intensity. The tighter she held to the object the stronger the pain got. Focusing all her strength she realized the object in hands was a syringe, and someone was laying down near her. Her mind and reality colidded when she tumbled down to the floor.

A few minutes later, or so she thought, the headache completely ceased, but what it portrayed would remain on her mind for a long time to come. Too tired to think she slowly walked to her bed, heading to a dreamless night.

Chapter Text

Another tribe was liberated yesterday, and a big party was held to appraise the chief Fritz. A girl watched it from afar, bucket in hands seemingly expecting to join the celebrations. 

But that day it was up to her to look out for the pigs. 

And so she did.

Charismatic, fierce and just, of course a man of such attributes deserved all the love and respect the village gave him, and more.

Imagine how good it must feel, to be bestowed all that love.

Perhaps if she freed the pigs like the chief freed her people, they would love her too.

“One of you let a pig escape. If nobody confesses, every one of you will lose an eye. Slaves have no need for two.

All fingers pointed to her.

“Very well. You are free.”

She ran, exasperated. Her breath was all but gone when an arrow pierced through her back. She was so small, and with the persecutors on horseback, she couldn’t possibly escape. She was hit again, on the shoulder this time. She had to run faster. Faster. Faster! Or else, she’d die.

Why did she have to die for releasing some pigs?

She tripped and fell aside for a couple seconds downhill, straying from the road. The pain was so immense she couldn’t help but cry.

A branch on a big tree showed before her and Something drew her inside, at least there she’d be safe from the arrows above. It was dark, and humid. She stepped in further, hesitantly. Each step echoed inside like thunder. But she went ahead. Going back wasn’t  a possibility anymore. She could only go forward.

And then she fell again into the darkness. For how long she couldn’t tell. After what felt like an eternity, she hit the ground. Except it was… Water.

A body of water, suffocating her almost lifeless body.

It was hard to… breathe. Until she sensed a tingle spanning from her back to her head, engulfing her body in a new sensation. 

She willed to live, and live she did. She transformed into a giant human-like figure, towering over her persecutors.

Upon that view, he felt a jolt spanning all over his body, accompanied by a voice that reverberated through his soul.

“Find me.”

And so he woke up, sweating profusely. A dream? He was glad to be back in his bed. He darted his way to the kitchen for some water to calm down his nerves. 

What the hell was that?

Since the ceremony three weeks ago his dreams turned sour at random days where fields of green turned into a gray wasteland, the singing of birds replaced into screams of pain and droplets of rain with titans falling from the sky. All sorts of stuff. SInce three weeks ago, when he’d kissed Historia’s hand, Eren was plagued with memories of the future. Of the world outside the walls, and its people. While some details were blurred, many others were solid as stone. He wasn’t sure if they were real, but it sure felt like it. The acts he committed, the people he murdered, thousands upon thousands. He didn’t think he was capable of doing that, yet somehow, night after night, his nightmares kept hammering that he did.

That night’s dream though was a little different. That girl was somehow special. Did she speak with me?

Eren looked outside the windows and unfortunately for him the morning hadn't arrived yet. After drinking some water the boy jumped back to back to bed but found no sleep. Shit, if this keeps going people will notice these damned dark circles around my eyes . Luckily, the sun would rise soon, but until then perhaps a shower would do. When the lukewarm water flowed on his skin, Eren for once enjoyed the new household he got in Vrees. It’s too big, but this is nice. Warm water wasn’t common in Trost. 

Again, sleep didn’t come, and thus he decided to go for some pushups, lest he got cold, bored or both. Anything that distracted his from his memories was acceptable, because the more he thought about them, the worse his day got.

Today’s training began with core muscles followed later with ODM speed and maneuverability city circuits. Training with the blades and maneuvers in the forest were temporarily disposed of in favor of those. Eren faltered at some moment of the circuit and narrowly avoided hitting a post.

“It’s to avoid the targets, not hit them, dumbass. Are you tired already?” Jean spouted, laughing. The boy had a knack to get on his nerves.

It was very hot that day, and Eren’s lack of sleep rendered him growing tired faster than usual. But no way he would let that fly.

“Give him a slack Jean, that’s his first training since all that mess in Shiganshina.” Connie’s answer was a safe and satisfactory one. It stung Eren that his bald friend was the one that came with it. 

But the truth strayed far from that. He was tired. He lent his help with Titan hardening to properly set many of Hange’s Titan Crusher that were distributed on districts of Wall Maria, and with their success, the Scouts wouldn’t ever have to fight Titans again.

“Still, we can’t be caught slacking, get up Eren”, completed Connie.

On that, they agreed. But still, Eren couldn’t help but to think how long he would need to maintain the facade. The reason for them to be doing workaday stuff would be, according to Commander Hange, to bring a sense of normalcy to the people inside the Walls, which was important after all the discoveries from Grisha’s books were made public.

The enemies, their real enemies, were humans. The entire world is our enemy. He shivered at thought. Even without his memories he knew that was a fact.

Upon return to the top of HQ, Eren noticed Mikasa was again nowhere to be seen, as she was likely in the armory with Levi working on the ODM gear. If his memories served right, it would be moot. Kenny squad's big ass hand cannons weren’t good enough for mass use. 

He saw Armin on the resting barrack, absentmindedly looking at him. His friend was more reserved recently, he noticed. He inherited memories from Berthold, he probably knows as much about Marley as I do. Maybe more. Thus, he decided to scrap his failure of ODM training session to join his friend.

“Hey Armin, what’s up?”, Eren shouted, closing his distance. “You look stiff. Something’s the matter?” he continued.

Armin glanced aside, checking their surroundings before answering, “yes. You could say so.”

When his friend didn’t add anything else he asked. “Ok. Gonna tell me or what?”

“I don’t know if…” the boy sighed, “maybe later.” 

That face is bothering me, I gotta cheer him up. What exciting things could they do on a work day? Or maybe he wants to talk about Berthold’s memories? That matched with his weird behaviour. 

“What about a race to the walls?” he chanced, without thinking much about the suggestion.

“A… race to the walls?” Armin asked, looking at him genuinely puzzled.

“Just for funsies. Like old times. If I win, you tell me what’s troubling you,” he replied, trying not to look confused himself. These days have been rough for everyone. 

Armin gazed at him profoundly and for a moment, Eren thought he’d deny, which would be expected. Then, he’d need to think of another thing to distract him. But to his surprise, the boy’s face lit up and he smiled.

“And if you lose?” He asked, closing the gap between them.

Eren scoffed. “Like that’s going to happen.”

Without sharing any more words, he and Armin both looked at their end goal. They were right in the middle of Trost, so it’d take a solid minute or two to make it to the walls.

While Eren was thinking, Armin threw himself and began to move. Oh so that’s how it is, huh? He thought, descending himself with haste to catch up with the boy, who was already forty meters ahead.

Propelling himself, Eren went for max momentum, grappling his hook on the tallest buildings he could find while going all the way down, barely above a lamps’ height. We would then retract the hook on his way up, using the gas to propel him diagonally upwards. About thirty seconds in, he managed to close in the distance with Armin, who looked back at him. I’m coming for you. It didn’t go amiss to Eren that his friend was smiling, and then passing by a Garrison’s HQ Armin fired his hook on top of the tower of the Garrison HQ and wrapped around it. Without understanding what happened, Eren went ahead and for a brief moment he surpassed his friend. To his surprise, he saw Armin flying really high and really fast, to Eren’s dismay, in a movement he only saw the likes of Levi and Mikasa doing (Jean too but he wouldn’t admit that). 

What? When did he learn that? Eren thought. Eventually he catched back his drift and went as fast as he could, with his pendulum going near the ground to close the gap between his blonde friend. All to no avail, as In the end Armin won anyways.

Arriving on top of the wall, he met his friend gasping for air. He clearly wasn’t accustomed to that kind of intensity. 

“Quite the moves huh? Are you taking classes with Mikasa?” Eren asked, catching his breath as well.

Armin smiled, “Glad you noticed. And no, I haven’t. I’m just taking training seriously.”

Maybe I should too. “Err… Congratulations”, he said, coming close to shake his friend’s hand. “I don’t think you've ever beat me in an ODM race before.” He has always been more physical than his friend, so losing to him that day was kind of a bummer.

“Thanks.” His friend did look happy though, so the mission was accomplished. The wind was terrific up there, but even then, being atop of the walls brought him a sense of tranquility he couldn’t quite explain. Flying around too, was very good to him, despite losing. 

“Eww. This view never ceases to amaze me. A shame we don’t come here too often. ”, said Armin, sheepishly.

“What if we join the garrison? They get to see it a lot”, Eren said, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “Feeling better?”, he completed.

“Hmpf. Very funny”, Armin gave a deep sigh, likely recollecting himself from their little joust. Eren couldn’t quite read his eyes. “I will be, thanks to you.”

Armin’s definitely not ok. “Wanna talk about something? We are quite alone up here.” He said while his friend moved to his side. Now they were shoulder by shoulder.

“Soon enough these very walls will fall and open the view for everyone, garrison and otherwise“ Armin said in a cold tone.

Walls falling? What is he talking about? Knowing Armin he was probably wandering in some of his deep thoughts.

“And when they fall, the wall titans beneath us will trample the world. Right, Eren?”

He couldn't be more wrong.

“Huh?” He mustered, frozen in place.

Armin turned to him. His voice now barely above a whisper.

“I know, Eren. I know everything.”

“Y-you know w-what?” Eren bit his lips as he said it, unable to face the boy just besides him.

“I have memories. Of the sea. To our trip to Marley. The attack on Liberio. The Rumbling. Everything.”

That can’t be. Armin certainly must’ve tripped somewhere, hit his head. If that was real… No. Bullshit. He’d play coy.

“A-armin, are you ok-”

“You can’t fool me, Eren!” The sudden change from whisper to shout left Eren shook. Luckily, no one was nearby, for better or worse. “I know that you have these memories as well. Everyone looked fine after the ceremony but you.”

Eren remained in silence, while Armin continued.

“I… I…” the boy shaked his head, wrapping it with his hands, ”I can’t stop thinking about it. I dream of it every night. It looks like Bertholdt's memories but worse. More real and terrifying”, tears were glistening in his friend’s eyes as he clutched his own shirt. “And I look around, everyone seems fine. Or as fine as one can be after Shiganshina.”

His friend slowed down, trying to compose himself. “Everyone but you. Since the ceremony, you saw something too, didn’t you? When you kissed Historia’s hand?”

Eren’s mind went haywire. What in the Walls is going on? He pinched himself, trying to stir this dream, if it was one. And it wasn’t. Armin having memories of the future like him? That made no sense. 

Did he say the rumbling?

Mindstruck, he simply nodded.

It can’t be. It’s real, whatever memories plagued him, they plagued Armin as well. If his own memories served him right, it was an ability exclusive to the Attack Titan. His titan. So how did Armin know as well?

“I know it must come as a shock, but yeah, well, I know it too. We must talk properly, and today”, expressed his friend, folding his arm.

Armin didn’t look happy, for sure, but he didn’t look as judgemental as Eren thought he, or rather anyone else would be when knowing the atrocities Eren Yeager was capable of. If he could just explain himself, maybe… 

“We do it right now”, he said, hastily.

“No, we’re too exposed here”, Armin replied, matter of factly.

Crap. He's right. They turned to inside the walls where Trost remained blissfully unaware of their secrets.

“So, where?” 

“Where else? Our house, tonight.”

And with no further chance for discussion, Armin descended back to the city.

That changes everything. His hands were trembling. He knows. He knows! But how much? 

That question would plague Eren for the remainder of the day. Minutes took hours, and hours felt like days to pass, but somehow Eren skimped through the afternoon.

Nothing of note happened, although Mikasa was nowhere to be seen. Probably with Levi working on these ODM gear again. It was kinda annoying to see her working on something th

Would she be at Jean’s tonight? Nah, she’s never there. Although she could be today. It’d be nice if he went too, he didn’t fancy Jean and her by themselves. 

Doggone it. Eren pushed his thoughts aside. There are more important things at stake.

At home, he took another shower before going to the living room where Armin was. Anxiety filled Eren to the brim. How would Armin judge his actions? He feared that that night would be the last one Armin would have him as a friend. Going downstairs he noticed the fireplace was lit, Armin was sitting on the chair facing the couch. “Wanna eat something?” 

“No, I’m not really hungry.”

“Me too, kinda hard to be right now”

Eren chuckled. He looked perfectly normal? Didn’t feel like they were going to discuss a life changing subject. Perhaps this wouldn’t go as bad as he anticipated. Eren sat on the couch. They were face to face, but not too close.

Come on Armin, what do you got?

Armin inhaled deeply as his face became increasingly somber. A minute passed.

Two.

Three.

Eren grew restless. When he was about to speak Armin spoke first:

“So…” Unsure where to start, he faltered. “Did you also get the memories of the ceremony?”

“Yes, when I kissed Historia’s hand. You?”

“Same thing. When you kissed her hand, I mean. 

“I assume you know why that happened?” Eren asked. In response, Armin looked at him pointedly. That was a test and he knew. To know this answer, Armin would need to tap into his future memories.  

And so he did. ”The Founder’s power” was his answer.

“Why at that moment?” He followed quickly.

“Because Historia has royal blood. And being in touch with royal blood unleashes the power of your Founding Titan.”

“Damnit, you really do know, you… really all of that.” Eren thought. The reveal that his friend, his best friend, had the same memories of him, not only solidified their truth but opened prospects, dangerous prospects. 

It was real. He knew it in his guts it was real, but now he was certain. His hands began to tremble as an overwhelming sense of dread hit him. He abandoned them. He hurt them. He killed them. He trapped them. He trampled them. The world. With each thought, breathing became more difficult, and suddenly his chest was tight.

“Armin, isn’t it too hot here?” He said, leaving the couch for the window. Everything was so dark.

“Eren? Are you alright?” He heard someone say. 

They trapped me . Trapped us, they deserved it. I hurt Mikasa, Armin and everyone. It’s real. He had to defend his home. I had to. I had to. I had to. Eventually, he didn’t know how, he was gasping for air. His hands were shaking and he felt trapped. He looked around, it was all dark. He had to leave!

Eren? He heard someone call him again. He couldn’t tell where they were. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. She can’t see you. He had to leave. He had to leave. He stumbled once, then again and again. The trap was closing, and he would never be free again.

[...]

“Eren, are you there?” he heard, opening his eyes. It was Armin. Oh that’s right. We have to talk, Eren thought, slowly coming to his senses. He was on the couch with a blanket over him. 

“Armin, what happened?”, he asked, strathening himself on the couch. His body felt numb.

“ You tell, you said it was hot here and suddenly you were… You were not yourself.” His friend’s face was full of concern. “You stumbled and hit the ground.  You passed out for a few minutes. You were sweating… I didn’t know what to do…”

“Armin, I’m alright! Just a cold”, Eren lied, standing up and stretching. “See? Good as new.” He never felt that in his life.

“Maybe you’re now,” hsi friend rubbed his eyes. Was he crying? “But what in the hells was that?”

Eren took his moment to answer. “Beats me.” He sat on the couch again. “I lost control of myself or something. Won’t happen again.”

Armin's worried face didn’t dare go away. “That’s what you say. You left me worried, maybe we should talk about this later…”

“No!” Eren shouted. “Let’s continue, Armin. It’s not like we can do anything else anyways.”

Armin studied him for a minute. “If you say so. But if I see you panicking again we stop, okay?

“Tsk.” Eren nodded hesitantly. “Ok.”

“Ok. So tell me, how far do your memories go?”

Eren pondered for a while. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but even gathering his thoughts felt slower than usual. “I’m not really… sure, but the last clear memory is when I was running to Zeke and my head went flying.

His friend flinched. “Interesting.” Then cupped his chin. “And what then?”

“Everything gets foggy, like a jumbled puzzle.”

The blonde stopped to contemplate, certainly he was coming with the wildest theories. “So your head went flying, huh?” Armin asked.

“Yes. I think Gabi shot me. Didn’t you know that?”

“I didn’t see that in my memories. And you said things were foggy after you got shot. But I remember clearly what happened next. You started the Rumbling. And in the following days you trampled a hell lot of places down with your army of colossal titans.”

Eren recoiled. He knew of the Rumbling, they spoke of it several times, but to hear Armin say he went through with it, made Eren feel sick to the stomach. His breathing was starting to get uneven again, to which Eren made a conscious effort to stop.

“Eren, what you did was… Unforgivable. All those lives were not yours to reap. Or anyone else’s, for that matter.” Eren couldn’t dare look in his friends’ eyes. “But you did it anyway, just like I blew Liberio’s port to smithereens.” He felt great sadness in Armin’s voice.

“But still, it’s pretty convenient you don’t get to remember the Rumbling of all things”

“I remember, Armin”, Eren closed his eyes, willing the dreadness he felt earlier away. “All the screams, the destruction. I-I felt entire cities being destroyed under my footsteps… I doomed them all as I burned everything to the ground.” And it torments everytime.

When he glanced at Armin, he noticed his friends’ eyes expanded in shock.

“I guess… Your panicking just now makes more sense. That's gotta be a nightmare fuel.”

“I wasn’t panicking.” Eren slid down the soft couch and looked to the ceiling. His friend grumbled. Silence met them again for a while.

“But still, you did it with a reason in mind, right?” Armin asked, “you wanted to protect Paradis from the outside world.”

Did I? He thought. “Yes”, he answered.

“But there’s something else. A partial Rumbling would be enough, but you went further. You wanted to destroy the world. But why?”

Eren didn’t respond. That’s right Armin. I wanted to tear apart those who caged us.

“ Eren ”

I am a monster, there’s no saving me. Everything else was just a facade for what he truly was: a monster.

“Eren. Answer me!”

“What does it matter, Armin?!” he shouted. “It didn’t change what I d-did.” It felt weird saying like he did something when, in fact, it had yet to happen. Eren stood up, not averting Armin’s eyes this time. 

“Grh. Yes. I know that! But still.” Armin looked crestfallen and lowered his tone. “I want to understand what pushed you to such a limit.”

“I did it on a whim”, he gritted his teeth. “Nothing pushed me to do it.”

Armin stood up as well and came really close. “I don’t believe you.” His eyes were… angry. Eren shivered and for a moment he contemplated heading back to his room. This is a waste of time.

“Go away if you want,” Armin said, catching his intentions, “but I’ll be here when you return.”

It would be pointless to leave now. Too much in the air. He didn’t expect his friend to be so confrontational. Begrudgingly, Eren sat down again. Armin’s eyes wouldn’t leave him and if a stare could hurt, Armin’s would be worse than a thousand bees sting combined. 

Armin exhaled deeply, “I saw all you did. How you abandoned us for Zeke. How you forced our hand to strike Marley. How you pushed me away. How you pushed Mikasa away.” Eren lowered his glare. No, please. Not Mikasa. 

“The words you said, they were, they…” Armin’s fist clenched. It looked like it took him everything to not punch his face, again. “You hurt her a lot Eren, do you know that?”

Eren nodded shamefully. The look on Mikasa’s face, when he called her a… slave, was the most painful part of his memories, and the competition was high. The same day he beat Armin to a gulp. He never wished to see it again. He detested the scene with all his being.

“I thought, no way the Eren I know would say that or do that, for that matter.” 

Surprising him, Armin sat beside him on the couch and continued. “It makes me think you were burdened with something that you didn’t, or couldn’t share with us. But whatever it was, it consumed you… And when everything else failed, you did what no one else could.”

I destroyed half the world. No. Eighty percent. Eren sighed. He had to concede his friend was onto something. The future version of him was so different from what he was that day and envisioned to be in the future. Dead on on his goals and merciless.

“But Eren, I don’t want this to happen again. The question is, do you? I want to think not” Armin’s voice now was nothing but hopeful, just like when they used to discuss the world in Armin’s books. 

“What makes you think that?”

“Because I know, deep down you’re a good person, and that you wanted an alternative outcome more than anyone.”.

A good person? “Armin…”, he said, his voice barely a whisper.

His friend still chose to believe in him! 

His eyes were heavy. Weep came out of them. Despite seeing the worst version of him, a complete asshole disregarded everything but his goal. After seeing all the things he did, and how much he hurt everyone, Armin still trusted him. I don’t deserve him.

Armin placed a hand on Eren’s shoulder. And so tears overcame him as he began to cry. They hugged. 

“Let it all out. Shh”. The boy said, tenderly.

And so he did, without stopping. He sobbed his heart out. For how long, he didn’t know.

“I am sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I know, I know.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Hey there.”

[...]

Eventually, Eren’s eyes went back to normal, then, and only then, he dared to look at his friend again.

“I wanted freedom, Armin. The freedom the world stole from us, no matter the cost. But not that I think about it… I’m not really sure what it is.”

Armin measured him for a while.

“I see” was all his friend said. And again, only cracks of the firepit would be heard. Sharing all these occurrences helped Eren alleviate his emotions a little bit. 

“You didn’t answer me,” Armin stood, “you never wished there was another way?”

“I… did, many times.”

His friend’s face lit up. 

“So that’s it then. Let’s make another way!”

Eren was puzzled. “How? We tried everything .” 

“Maybe we did, considering only the cards we had. Whoever or whatever sent us these memories… I think they want us to do things differently this time.”

Eren never thought about it that way, but looking back, he realized that in his memories no one appeared to know the future except him. Yet now… “How can you be so sure?”

“Because this time I have memories as well.” Determination filled Armin’s eyes.

“You want to defy fate?”

“Our fate is what we make of it.”

And then, unlike the sinking feeling in his gut, he felt a fire brewing inside. Hope. Something his friend never lost.

“Ok, so what do we do? You know I’m not the planner here.”

“I-hmm, I’m not the planner here!”

Armin laughed. “No you aren’t. But I guess, not doing anything with the Rumbling?” He chuckled nervously.

“Yeah, that’s a premise”, Eren stared at his friend. He’s nervous all of sudden.

“You don’t have a plan, do you?”

“I-I… What? Of course I… Don’t”, Armin said, deflating a little. “We’re still too much in the dark, we gotta give one step at a time. I was thinking… First we gotta let our friends know, then we can work from that.”

“You mean, telling them about these memories?” Eren didn’t like the sound of that. One thing was he and Armin m working together, but to include everyone else…

“Yep. We need them all aboard if we want any chance of success.”

“I don’t know about that… I don’t think they’ll believe them.”

“They’ll have to. We know the future, Eren. Unless we meddle around too much, what we say is bound to happen. They’ll have no choice but to believe us.”

Rationally it was the best idea, but it still didn’t sit well with him. His heart quickened a little again, thinking of the reaction everyone would have when they discover the truth. He clutched the sofa’s arm to ground himself.

“Ok. So how do we tell them?” Eren wished he was as articulate as his friend for this task.

“We just… tell them. Somewhere with few ears, preferably. I tell Mikasa first, obviously. Then Sasha, Connie and Jean. And last Levi and Hange. How does that sound?”

Eren’s eyes widened. “Sasha. Do you plan to tell her about her-”

“Death? Yes.”

He was distraught for a moment. How would she react to her hypothetical death?

“Eren, look at me.” Eren complied. “We won’t let it happen again, but we need to let them fully understand what we are facing.” Armin added.

“You’re right. You’re right. Jean and Connie?” Eren asked, pointing to himself.

“You, yep. And Mikasa we can tell her together.”

No way, no way, “ no”, no way. He wouldn’t be able to withstand her reaction.

“Huh? What do you mean, no?”

“You tell her”, he spouted. No, if she hears it from someone else it could be worse. “No! I’ll do it… Alone.” He decided, a decision that would weigh on him.

“Ok. You then. Tell her everything, or skim some shitty parts if you want, but let her know the overall scope of your- our actions. The same with the boys.” Armin gazed at the ground. “You can leave out the part where you beat me to a pulp, though.” The boy looked mildly upset.

Eren chuckled. Truth be told, it’d be tough, but Armin was right, he had to come clean with her. She had to know the kind of person she was dealing with, afterall.

“When they all buy our talk, we bring it to Levi and Hange. Our expedition to the sea could be a good opportunity to flex our ‘predictions’, so let’s set it as a date limit to tell everyone.”

“Sounds solid”, something else bothered him, though. “But what about our enemies?”

Armin grimaced at the question. “Marley is about to engage the Mid-East coalition in a few months, I don’t think they’ll be available to fight us right now. We must be in garde of course, but let’s focus on our mission at hand.”

Eren nodded. Reiner could wait for their inevitable rematch. The weird thing though, is that Eren didn’t anticipate it this time, but if Reiner knew what they knew, it was only a question of time before they fought again.

“So now that we’re all set. We should get some sleep.” Armin yawned. “All that talk made me tired, but I feel it was very productive.”

That was an understatement. Armin went back to his room.

“Thank you, Armin”, he turned around. “This… changes everything.”

“You’re welcome, and try not to linger too much on bad thoughts, you know. Even if I didn’t see your little show tonight I can already spot some dark circles around your eyes.”

Eren wasn’t surprised with that information in the slightest.

[...]

Back in his room he Eren felt a little bit lighter. It wouldn't be easy, but he would fight till the end to make things right this time. Marley was a big problem, but with Armin at his side, and soon enough Mikasa and everyone else, they would be way better prepared to defeat them.

Thinking of Mikasa, he wished he had seen her that night. She was overworking herself with Levi in the armory that week, it’d be good for her to pick some rest. As he was undressing, he noticed two women on the street. Who would be here right now? He thought. Despite the darkness, he could make the traces of one of them, a jet black bob haircut. Mikasa? Before he was certain of that he was already outside. They were coming back from Jean’s, most certainly. As he closed the distance to them, Mikasa’s smell, a mix of jasmine and rosemary, barged inside his lungs, temporarily moving him away from his own self.

Turns out she was just stopping by to check on him.  He wished he’d joined them, but he had no regrets about how he spent his evening, despite that, the least he could do was to accompany her home. He went inside and took another coat for her and Sasha, whom he found very drunk in Mikasa’s arms. Gosh, she’s wasted. At least someone’s having fun here. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Until a dose of guilt hit him like a titan. She died because of me. Logically, he knew he wasn’t at fault, but the feeling remained.

So he accompanied them home. With Sasha successfully delivered to her chambers, Eren thought that was the perfect occasion to divulge at least some details about what’s going on between him and Armin.

But as she said “You’re good to me” with the scarf on her hand looking at him so fondly, his resolve crumbled in an instant. He decided then, that it was a topic for another day.

And when that next day arrived he would find her by the morning. “Good morning, Eren” , she would say to him with a timid smile only he could see, and his resolve crumbled.

The thought of telling her filled him with anxiety akin to that day on his couch, and despite Armin’s constant support, he still couldn’t tell her. He wouldn’t stand if her reaction to his true nature was a negative one. And in his mind, there was no way it wouldn’t be negative, despite numerous claims from Armin and from Mikasa herself.

She oftenly inquired about him during their workday. “I’m here if you need ” was her usual motto towards him, and he would say “Thanks. But, I’m fine” . 

He wanted to hug her, tell her everything was going to be alright and how sorry he was, but that would only raise the very questions he was unable to answer.

Moments of glimmer struck him from time to time when felt better about himself, where he momentarily isolated the bad memories out of his system. In one of these moments he felt encouraged enough to come clean with Mikasa about his memories, only to find her happily chatting with Sasha in the HQ mess hall.

And seeing them both carefree like that hammered further his point. He was a disaster for both of them. He kept his distance.

And Sasha , while he could understand the circumstances of her death, he could not understand his reaction. I laughed. He thought every time he saw Sasha. She died and I laughed. 

Even on his good days, it didn’t take much for him to change his whole self perception again, though. A sly commentary by Armin, or a nightmare at night. Perhaps that was his punishment for all the people he killed, a severe cowardice that permeated his bones during the day, and nightmares that took his sleep by night.

He shouted at himself in anger, he wanted to punch himself too, but he had no energy to do even that. Between work and constantly monitoring his own behavior near everyone else, he ended up drained on the weekends. He would spend them all in bed if he could, brooding over his lack of action, but as a public figure, it was important to be seen outside doing normal things, and so he did.

Eventually Mikasa stopped inquiring about his state of mind every day, which pushed his discomfort even further. She wasn’t distant from him physically, she never was, but emotionally there was a gap between them only the two of them could see, and it disturbed him deeply. She didn’t look happy about it either. 

Day after day after day, almost a month went by and he failed to tell her anything, even a small detail from his memories. “Soon enough the new batch of recruits will arrive and well, and with the new training everyone’s gonna be really busy”, said Armin on their way back home after a day of work.

Eren didn’t answer, but he knew where his friend was getting at. Armin dropped bits here and there, tested the waters and seemed more than ready to tell their closest friends about it. He, on the other hand, didn’t leave square one.

“It’s time we moved our plans forward. I arranged a meeting with Sasha this weekend,” his friend continued. “And she told me Jean and Connie are going to Ragako this weekend as well. Maybe you should go with them, I don’t think there are many people around those parts to overhear you”, he chuckled nervously. “Tell them first, see how it goes. I think it’ll make things easier with Mikasa. As for me,” the boy produced a folded paper. “I made a script and everything, I can share it with you.”

It had bullet points of everything he was going to say in a chronological order. It was a solid and concise list of events, yet it didn’t shy away from more sensitive topics. Something only Armin could come up with.

“Thanks Armin, I’ll speak with them,” he said, returning the paper to Armin.

Armin stopped. “Hey, we’re doing our best. You know that, right?”

Eren didn’t agree with the sentiment, still, he appreciated his friend's relentless optimism. He would see it through, he had to.

Chapter Text

Sounds of thunder spears pushed him deeper in his trance. Where am I? In the same city where his nightmare began he reminisced the day he lost. He could remember every blow, scream the pain from that day when the almighty Armored Titan was beaten by mere humans.

Not humans, devils. They are devils , devils … As much as he tried, to him they were just the Scouts . They were his comrades, and once, they were his friends. But that day in Shiganshina they were enemies and that day, he wished he’d succeed. 

Civita, 850.

Headquarters of Department of Defense 

“Freshen our minds here, Mr. Braun”, he heard a gruff voice say, he recognized it as officer Abramović. 

Reiner snapped out of his mind. Right, I’m telling the officers about that day, again. Back he was, to that grim and secluded room, as usual from marleyan military’s facilities. For another day, he would be facing a handful of mid-upper brass officers in an interrogation. After days of reporting, it would finally be time for Marley to wrap their minds about his performance, or lack thereof, in Paradis, and to dictate whether he will live to see another day.

“According to Yeager, the Colossal was detained in the hands of the Founder, not far away from your location.” Another officer commented. Reiner didn’t know that man, but surely he had a face of someone who never saw a happy day in his life. The officer continued, “why exactly weren’t you able to prevent that?”

How many times do you need me to answer that? He lost track of how much he heard the same question. “Because I was preoccupied with the remaining soldiers in ODM gear”

“So you’re saying that, in the crucial moment of the battle, you failed to deal with a handful ‘flying soldiers’?” A ginger officer asked.

Reiner hesitated. “Yes, they had missiles that could pierce my armor.”

“Right. And fairies are real…” officer Disgruntled answer. “Isn’t it convenient that both your target and his accomplices armed themselves against your weakness?”

 As much as he wanted to say something in response every time they poked him, he knew better than to speak out of time with Marleyans. 

The other seven officers in the room were whispering among themselves while taking notes. They’re not buying it, thought the warrior, exasperated. 

Most of them had made up their minds over the matter and it showed.

Another officer voiced his take instead, “while Yeager didn’t mention the missiles in his report, Finger pointed out hearing sounds akin to explosions inside the walls. It could be these missiles“. Said the chief overseer of the Warrior program, Commander Magath. Reiner didn’t know him either, but he didn’t look so miserable, tired more like. Reiner was glad he defended him, even if for dubious reasons. It's probably easier for him to keep me around than to train another candidate, Reiner thought bitterly. Also, he had Pieck to thank for that report.

The murmurs intensified. The officers then went to another room, including Magath and general Calvi, likely to conceive their final answer. It didn’t go amiss how much trust they put in Zeke’s reports, almost like he wasn’t the one leading the whole operation. Everyone left him alone to his thoughts.

For minutes to come, they would be pouring over every single detail they had over his last five years away. They’d ponder the good and bad, mostly the bad.

First they’d digress over how helpless he was finding the King within the Walls for such a long time, then over how friendly he behaved among the islanders, assuming they extracted such info from Ymir. Then, how he let Annie and Berthold be captured. Berthold… Thinking about his friend made him feel a pit on his stomach. Sure the possibility of a premature end of his term wasn’t gracious, but whatever his fate was, Bertholdt’s would be much, much worse. And Annie… If he just had gone back like she wanted to, he’d have avoided all this disgrace. I failed you both. I’m so… sorry. Without thinking, he bit his lip, and as he wasn’t allowed to leave, he cleaned with his backhand.

In a way a part of him felt almost relieved about what's to come. After all these years pretending to be someone else, pretending to live a life he could never have, he would find his deliverance. Porco would inherit his titan, and debts would be paid. He would be able to see his family one last time before everything ended, which was more than his fallen friends could dream of.

I’ll be joining you shortly guys, he thought as his mind again drifted away to his time on that damned island.

[...]

Roughly an hour late, the officers returned. The ginger man leading the trial stood while the others sat, “the council will now vow their decision”, he said.

Reiner straightened up on his chair, eyes fixated on the man speaking. He swallowed dry. Whatever comes, it’s for the better, he kept thinking. And yet, he was sweating cold and his hands shook.

“Based on multiple reports, the council has decided the verdict over the object in question.”  The dozen people inside the room all became muted and Reiner felt they could actually hear his heart about to jump out of his chest. All his life came to this, after all.

So what would it be?

“The defendant at object, despite his many failures and a complete defeat at enemies’ hand, upheld an unyielding loyalty to the Motherland. In his mission, he took leadership in the infiltration of the Walls in the absence of the Jaw, managed to extract important intel from the island devils and more importantly, exposed the whereabouts of the Founding Titan;”

What? This can’t be…

“Therefore, Reiner Braun, the 7th holder of the Armor, shall not have his titan transferred.” A couple of whisperings ensued. “That, of course, comes with certain conditions.”

Reiner couldn’t grasp the rest. His mind was struggling to weave coherent thoughts. Given the harshness he’s been treated with since his return, it’d be logical to assume the outcome of this was for him to pass the Armor on. But despite that, they’re giving another chance to prove himself.

A-am I going to live? Reiner couldn’t believe his ears.

Had he been judged inapt to continue being a Warrior, they’d end his misery and Porco would succeed him as the Armored, Reiner was sure they’d have preferred that. If it wasn’t for Marcel 6 years ago, it'd be Porco's titan originally. 

“First condition: henceforth the defendant shall be on close watch indefinitely on his next operations, if any report indicates another ineptitude from him, his term will end immediately.”

Oh, right, the punishments. He breathed in deeply, closed his eyes, sighed and nodded to the officer. 

“I concur”. Replied Reiner.

“Second condition: the defendant will be stripped of any leadership role, meaning he won’t be allowed to command, even temporarily, troops or shifters. His compensation will also be reduced accordingly and retroactively.”

“I concur”

“Third condition: the defendant is to be preferred amongst the shifters in operations of high-risk.”

“I concur”

“And fourth and final condition: as a proof of their undying loyalty, the Brauns are to give another member for the Warrior program.”

Reiner's eyes opened wide. What? 

“After short discussion, the council decided the defendant’s first cousin, Gabi Braun, is to be chosen for that role.”

He was sweating cold. That… No. Being a warrior himself, all his family was granted honorary Marley citizenship. It wasn’t necessary to draw another child in, and then it sunk it, that’s their payback to me. Only he had to pay for his misdeeds.But now, because of his misdeeds, Gabi, an 8 years old girl he only met as a baby, would be destined to endure all the carnage he did.

And to die thirteen years after inheriting a titan, if not before… Poor girl.  

“Are you in disagreement, Braun?”

Crap. Maybe his sourness bled to his face. The officer looked at him, expecting him to slip.

“Huh… Sorry. No disagreements, Major. I concur.

“It’s settled then”. The officer clearly wasn’t pleased, and he wasn’t the only one. “I’ll have Magath bear the news first thing on the morrow.”

“T-Thank you, I won’t fail again”

“For your sake, you better not. You’re dismissed.”

Reiner stood hastily and left the room.

Would Magath let Gabi know the truth behind her forced enlistment? Reiner hoped not, but it was hard to read that man. Perhaps she’ll be happy about it, Reiner thought. We were all excited at the beginning. 

[...]

Daylight had already settled when Reiner and Magath entered the carriage and began their journey for Liberio. As Marley capital, Civita’s number one rule was no (lowly) eldians allowed within its perimeter. Even honorary marleyans like him could only come under special circumstances. Beyond the prestigious Tybur family, Zeke was perhaps the only eldian Reiner knew that freer access to the city. All that aside, the city was fine. It was well kept and weirdly planned, with wide, well illuminated boulevards and plazas mingled with monumental old-school looking buildings that exuded a grandeur feel, which represented the best Marley had to offer to the debonair citizens that lived there. 

He was glad to leave that place, and hopefully he would never step there again. Now, after five long years, his destination was home. It was selfish of him, but he was content with the result. He was glad to have another chance at being with his family. What will they think of my return? He couldn’t guess. 

His mind soon drifted to the other warriors. Zeke and Pieck… He didn’t know them that well to engage in a non-mission related conversation, still, he wanted to believe they’d be happy about him not dying. If anything, Pieck would, she wouldn’t hurt a fly if let to her device. Zeke would be indifferent and Porco… was a delicate matter.

The man on his side seemed to notice his tenseness. Relief no longer came naturally to him, even after being spared death.

“Anything’s the matter, Reiner?”

“No, it’s fine,” he cleared his throat. “I am fine, Commander.”

Magath inquired further, “if you’re worrying about your cousin, I reckon she’ll be alright.”

Reiner looked at him expectantly. He wasn’t expecting Magath of all people to worry about his little cousin.

“Will she?” Reiner dared to say.

“She’s a very smart and confident child, plus she’s an enthusiast for the cause.” 

Well, at least if she’d join the Warrior program it’d allow him to keep tabs on her more frequently. Perhaps a close relationship with a family member was something he needed.

“That’s good to hear and Commander, I actually wanted to thank you for reminding Major Miera about Pieck’s report back at the trial.”

The older man grunted. “I was just doing my job.”

Theo Magath. Reiner’s memories of that man boiled down to a random stern man with sharp features and a gaze that could pierce his soul. When he left, Magath’s ascending inside marley military was impressive, going from colonel to commander in a span of five years. He was also the chief of the warrior program, which Reiner was increasingly glad for. The man was the only familiar face back on the interrogation, and Reiner dared think he was one of those who vouched for him, despite their lack of interaction.

That was his company for a day trip back to Liberio.

Liberio. Warrior Headquarters. 

At the entrance of the HQ, the first to meet him was Colt Grice, a short blond haired warrior trainee due to inherit the Beast Titan from Zeke. Quite a shoe to fill .

“Hey Reiner! So… H-How was it?” The boy shouted.

“Well I-” he was beginning to say.

“Grice, call everyone to the meeting room at 20h.” Interrupted the commander. 

“Roger, sir!” The Grice boy left their view as quickly as he came.

Magath glanced at Reiner. “Let’s be succinct about this.” The warrior nodded and followed the commander upstairs to the meeting room. 

It had been a tiresome week, and things weren’t going to get easier, but being back at the place he spent most of his infancy sure brought him some relief, along with memories of simpler times. A group of younglings, full of passion, enduring the hardest training regime Marley could offer. Here they suffered together, and joyed together, however the latter happened less frequently. 

Already inside the meeting room, Reiner contemplated its surroundings. Mostly the same, it’s all familiar. Except for that gramophone. He almost felt like home there. Almost . 

“ Here they are Commander.” Announced Colt, barging into the room a few minutes later. Behind him Zeke and Pieck. Reiner stood to welcome them.

“Hi there guys.”

“Reiner, good to see you whole, you looked pretty rough”, said Zeke, upon eyeing Magath he nodded, “Commander.”

“Him and you both.” Said Pieck, glancing first at Zeke then at him. She had a weak grin on her face. “Hi Reiner. Commander.”

“Yeager, Finger.” Magath grumbled “Grice, where’s Galliard?”

“He’s coming!” Answered the boy hurriedly, “ h-he said he needed to go to the bathroom.”

Porco Galliard was the last to arrive, in the nick of time, and sat among the others. Marcel’s younger brother, Porco was his carbon copy. He kept the same hairstyle, but somehow it fit him better now. He didn’t grow as big as Reiner thought he would, he was somewhat smaller than him, but nonetheless Porco looked good, and Reiner was glad to see him.

“Hey Reiner”, he said, cocking his head. He sounded much calmer than before. Maybe he did change from his old, bratty and arrogant self. If so, that’s a relief.

“Hey.” 

Everyone had gathered, but even then, Reiner couldn’t shake the emptiness feeling the room irradiated. Annie and Berthold… They were gone, perhaps forever yet their seats remained.

“Reiner, feel free to update everyone before we proceed,” said Magath.

“Alright, thank you, Commander.” Everyone looked expectantly at him.

“So… What will be of you Reiner?” Asked Zeke, breaking the ice.

“Hmm… There are some caveats, but It seems I’m off the hook.”

Pieck and Zeke smirked. Porco kept stone cold.

“That means… “ Colt’s eyes were wide. He seemed the most surprised. “W-wait, they really sought to finish your term?”, the boy sounded genuinely surprised

“It’s a common procedure, after crucial failures such as mine. They tried me and I passed.” 

“Phew! Didn’t know they’d go that far, but at least things worked out in the end.” 

“Congratulations Reiner!” Shouted Zeke, feigning a smile. “May the motherland see your true worth from now.” 

“It’d be an injustice otherwise. Welcome back Reiner,” added Pieck. She looked aside, “Pokko , say something.”

Pokko? Porco’s face grimaced in response. “That’s nothing to congratulate him about.” 

It seems I was too hopeful. Reiner grimaced as well.

“You should be thankful, Reiner, that’s all there's to it. And maybe try not to mess up again, if you can.”

An answer like that couldn’t be more appropriate of him. And while expected, the delivery still stung. Dammit, Porco. He knew that man never liked him, but now their rift grew wider by the day, but Reiner hoped one day he could mend things off. 

“I won’t.”

A rotten feeling filled the air momentarily. 

“Is that a way to treat your comrade?” Magath cut it, his voice sharper than a blade. Before Porco could protest he continued. “I digress. With this matter settled. The council also approved the transfer of the Ripper Titan. Galliard, you’re its next holder. The transfer will happen in two days.”

“I see. I’m honored to be chosen.” Replied the man, completely unfazed. It was unsaid, but the Jaw felt more like a consolation prize at that moment.

Ymir. He should speak to her again, but he feared he wouldn’t get the chance with Marley’s added surveillance over him. Her inevitable death would bring some relief to his friend, she killed his brother after all, also. He would inherit his memories and in the process cut Reiner’s last tie towards Paradis. That’s for the better.

“Congratulations, Porco,” Reiner said, trying to be the better man.

Oddly enough, Porco didn’t diss him, only a “huh. Thanks.” Even his tone caught Reiner off-guard.

Maybe Porco did change, just not in ways Reiner wanted him to.

“Four new candidates will join the program, two of them will be chosen to inherit the Armour and the Cart in your term expires. As initiation dictates, they’ll also attend Galliard’s transferring ceremony”, continued Magath. He extended a sheet of paper. “They are: Gabi Braun, Zofia Kraska, Udo Weber and Falco Grice.”

Another Grice . Whatever crime the Grice family committed, they were still in due, it seems.

“And that's all for today. Expect your carriages on the border of the internment zone at 4:00 a.m. You’re dismissed.” Magath said, then left.

Everyone followed suit. Years passed, and still nobody wanted to stay in that room any longer than necessary. Pieck joined him on his way back.

Liberio’s Internment Zone

And there he was, back at home. The sight that numerous times he thought he would never see again. I’m home. The whirlwind of feelings swirling inside him made him fall to his knees. I made it back, mom, he thought, sighing heavily.

He felt light taps on his back, he looked around, they were Pieck’s.

“What a relief huh? I’m glad they gave you another chance”, she said, extending her hand. He grabbed her hands and pulled himself up. Huh, she’s stronger than she looks. They began walking to their homes.

“Me too,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “Although, I doubt it was for my merit.”

“Why’s that?”

“They had no suitable candidates to inherit the Armour. Colt is to inherit the Beast, and the rest are just kids.”

Reiner glanced aside to see her reaction. Nothing. No matter how much he tried, Reiner couldn’t read her face. She’s worse than Annie in that regard. After a brief moment of silence, she spoke.

“We were just kids too when we inherited our titans, remember?” 

She sounded genuine, and understanding, which was unusual for him. Back in their youth, she would barely exchange a word with him.

“Yeah. We were just kids ”, he agreed, the weight of his words heavy. Being smart as she was, it certainly didn’t fly past her the through meaning behind them. Marley placed the fate of their nation in the hands of a bunch of kids. The more he thought about it, the stupider the idea sounded. Cease these traitorous thoughts , Reiner. 

Whatever was her thought, he didn’t know. Pieck just hummed, and minutes later excused herself to the market.

[...]

He enjoyed the view of his old town, the buildings were more sophisticated than those from Trost, and the streets fuller. The families inside were a tight knit family of families. It wasn’t perfect, sure. At times it felt way too cramped and the smell, oh the smell… It was that town’s worst offender. Some alleys were oftenly full of garbage and the state collect service has always been shit.

Somehow Liberio felt like it didn’t change much, but at the same time it changed a lot.

[...]

And thus he finally arrived at the door of his family’s residence. He inhaled slowly. There was so much he needed to do. Debts he had to pay. To Marley, Porco, Zeke, Pieck, Annie, Berthold… The Scouts… 

The Scouts? What am I thinking? This right here is my life now.

He shrugged the thought away and looked around. The people inside these walls are and will always be their only and true kin. Hopefully he’d never step on that island again.

About to knock on the door, he felt a gaze on him. It came from above. A small girl was staring at him from the second floor, curiosity painted all over her face in her large expressive brown eyes. After a quick moment, the girl darted inside. He may have heard a “he’s here!” or his mind was playing tricks on him. Either way, without knocking on the door a familiar face opened it for him. An older woman. His dear mother. 

“Reiner” The woman said, eyes widening. Her voice was coarse, thick with emotion. “Reiner,  it’s really you!” She pulled him to a hug without letting him speak. 

“H-hey mom, I’m finally back,” his own voice sounded weaker than he wanted, but oh the hug, despite her frail looking appearance, his mother’s hug was tight and comfortable, and for a moment, he was just a boy in his mother’s embrace. He forgot all his misery and pain, the days dissociating from his past life. All the inner turmoil inside felt like a thing of the past. 

She pulled out of the hub, and there it was, that slight glance of disappointment he grew up with. He was the key to unite their family again, but he failed, as a warrior and as a son. He felt his own eyes burn hot with tears, but he held them from falling. He didn’t have any right to cry, he was here, alive and in peace.

“My boy, look at you! You’re so big.” She continued fondling her shoulder and caressing his face, “you’ve become a man.”

“Yes mom, I have.” And all it cost was the life of my friends, he thought bitterly. 

She led him inside their household to the living room on the first floor. Inside, a plethora of emotions wavered over him, the feeling of shelter and safety was one which he cherished, but that was also the place he grew up while training to become a shifter, so loads and loads of anxiety poured from those rustic and creek looking walls.

He was quickly reintroduced to his family members. He greeted first his two uncles and aunts and his older cousin Keisel were the ones he knew before, both aunts were related to his mother Karina by marrying her brothers Albin and Elias. Albin and his wife Yesenia had a son a little bit older than him, his cousin Kaisel. Those he knew before departing, but amidst them was a small girl, his other cousin, Albin’s child. The same from the window before, Gabi Braun.

“Y-you’re Reiner right?” She said, clutching behind her mother. She looked at him expectantly, like he was another kind of life form.

“That’s me”, he said, mustering all the leftovers of his charisma. It would be important to establish a good relationship with the girl, given her fate. “Pleasure to meet you”, he scoffed, “you were just a baby when I left. Heh, look at you now.”

The girl widened her eyes, with a tempting smile on her face. She darted her eyes toward her dad and then her mom, asking for permission and 

as her mother nodded, a barrage of questions followed, catching him off-guard.

“Y-you’re the Armor Titan!” Her smile was huge. The girl was beaming. “How you become into a titan?”— “Is your titan strong?” — “How it feel inside?”

Those were some of the questions aimed at him. Everyone thought the questions harmless, so until dinner was ready, he decided to entertain his little cousin. It went fine, until the dreaded question came. 

“Did you beat the devils?”

And then again, it sunk in the failure of his whole ordeal. Five years away from his home, three of the four members killed or taken and he still came back empty handed. It was a failure in every angle possible. There was no running from it.

“N-no”, he said, swallowing dry, “they were pestilent .” He said, choosing his wording very carefully. “Even with War chief Zeke and Pieck’s help we barely managed to get out alive.”

It was the hard cold truth. The truth that shattered hopes of better days to all eldians inside the internment zone. Reiner was expecting disappointment.

To which again, his cousin surprised him.

“Tsk. Damn devils,” she said with a venomous voice uncommon for that kid’s age. “Don’t worry cousin, you did your best. Maybe…”, she stopped midway, clutching her fists. Her puppy eyes were now eyes of a fighter, of a warrior. “One day I fight with you, and together we beat the devils forever!” She shouted. Everyone around didn’t bat an eye on her statement.

Seems like Magath was right. She would fit like a glove in the warriors program. He felt a little less worse about dragging her in to this mess, but deep down, he still pitied her.

Despite his feelings, he indulged the girl’s sentiment and broke the news. Needless to say she exploded in happiness.

[...]

Dinner was nice. His family was happy to see him and the chatter flowed without too much hitches. In both sides of the sea, gossip was a good way to get under people's good side, Reiner noted. All in all, that day was a net positive. He had a fresh start with a supporting family, which was more than he could ever ask for. He was content.

Upon touching the knob of the door, Reiner felt an intense zap all over his body. Visions flooded all his senses with an overwhelming intensity. Instant and long-lived, blurred but full of clarity. In them, memory-like visions of himself. 

His future self.

Chapter Text

Just kids, huh? Reiner certainly suspected she might have found his comment suspicious, while she only found it surprising. She chose silence, nothing good could come from that topic, at least not where they were.

As expected of her, Pieck dutifully read Reiner’s reports on the operation to retake the Founding Titan. There was some rough stuff in it, especially for children, but given his demeanor, it was clear a lot more happened than he divulged. The bratty kid who wanted to become a marleyan hero defeating the Devils was no longer there, at least not entirely. 

“Well, see you later, then,” she said, leaving him to his devices. The boy clearly needed some time with his family.

She planned a quick trip to Liberio's public market to get some fruits and vegetables for dinner, and if the price was good, maybe pork too. 

The quick wasn’t so quick in the end, it never was, because truth be told, she loved it there. It was a circular, semi open hall, bustling with stalls in many parallel narrow aisles. Inside, the background music, a mix of jazz and swing settled the mood: it was all about community. The stalls had food of various kinds and tastes, from rye bread to blood sausages, quarks to applesauce and even a barrack serving Eintopf filled the bellies of the people around, the options were the best Liberio had to offer.  There was a Shawarma she was itching to try, but due to recent turmoil in the region the officers prohibited commercialization. The banter in the open pub, with people singing and dancing open karaoke, or even storekeepers and customers just bargaining for a better price in a random stall also contributed to the lively feel the place had.

All of it made her feel at ease in a way no other place in Liberio could. All for her to enjoy and for her wallet to suffer for it. After two months in Paradis staying most of the time in the damp and hot nape of her titan, she as hell needed that time alone in fresh air, the cost being irrelevant. She had a lifetime job whose only exit was death. With her father’s pension granted, she couldn’t care less about savings.

[...]

Losing track of time, she eventually made her way back home. Despite her renowned status as a marleyan warrior, she lived in the same house she grew up in, a little in the outskirts of the internment zone. It was her father’s idea, mostly, but she didn’t mind. The house wasn’t big, but it was cozy, and more than enough for her and her father to live.

“Dad, I’m home.” She shouted. He was an early sleeper, and she knew he wouldn’t sleep before she arrived home.

“Oh, dear, come in, I’m in the kitchen.”

She joined him. 

Oliver Pieck, her father, the reason she started to fight for Marley. With the money and the prestige she acquired being a Warrior, she succeeded in providing him a successful treatment, and according to the doctors he'd be fine in the forthcoming years, not cured, but fine enough to outlive her.

The look on his eyes every time they met was of tenderness mingled with sadness, and the sadness grew more and more the closer her term’s end approached. S ix years now and I’ll be gone. She didn’t fear death, but she recoiled at the thought that he’d be devastated. 

Regardless of that, her choice was already made, and she’d do it again, if she needed.

“So… Will Zeke and Braun…” he furrowed his brow, trying to remember. “Reiner! Will they be okay?”, he asked, proud of himself.

“Yes, dad”, she smirked at his content. “They were judged apt to carry on their terms.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks the lords, here, I made supper. Tell me more how it went.”

Won’t stop pampering me, will you? She smiled at him, and indulged in his food, telling how the Zeke and Reiner trial transcurred. It was almost

 midnight when her father went to sleep, unusual for him, as he was an early sleeper. She would normally sleep hours later than him, and poorly at that, but the all day long meetings with the upper brass that last week left her enough stressed, putting it mildly.

I need a bath. Before she moved into her bedroom though, a cat rubbed Pieck’s legs and meowed for attention.

“How could I forget you?” Pieck muttered, picking up the cat.

It was notoriously difficult for eldians inside the zone to obtain a pet. Marleyans wouldn’t have the good and loyal household animals mingling with devils, for whatever stupid reason they had. It was given her father’s condition and his excess time alone at home – something she felt guilty for – that the medic prescribed an adoption of a kitten for him to bond with, they even let him and Pieck choose from the adoption centre. And back home they brought a brown tabby lady called Uma. She grew a strong build with the cat, and if anything happened to her, she wouldn’t respond for herself.

She moved into her bedroom’s bathroom and undressed. In the mirror, the same tired woman she saw everyday. She was paler than and her unruly hair even more wild than usual. I need to get a new comb… And some sun. Excessive periods inside her titan deprived her of basic self care, which she didn’t mind much with seven years of titan work.

It’d be ill advised to take such a late bath this time of the year, it didn’t snow there, but the cold was nothing to scoff at. Despite her denial in arranging a new home, Marley supplied their household with a cutting edge heater system on demand in their house. For that she was grateful. She filled the bathtub and entered. 

Ahh. The warm water did wonders to soothe her senses. Exactly what I needed. Resting her body, her mind fluttered around ceaselessly. 

It was good that she went with Reiner back to Liberio. After her brief evaluation, she concluded he would be far easier to work with than she anticipated, though she must admit it stung a little how crestfallen he was back then, maybe it was a flaw of hers, but she didn’t enjoy seeing her warrior comrades down. Not that there were many now. Berthold was a shy one, but sweet in his silence, and Marcel, poor Marcel, always brave and kind, never had a chance to begin with. Annie… It was hard to believe she was gone, the girl was a tough one. 

A part of her wished to see them again, it was foolish, but she thought with all their baggage they would get along much better than before. That would never happen, as their lives were reaped by the “devils”. A petty endeavor. The so devils of Paradis were nothing but oblivious to the existence of humans outside the walls. They posed no real threat to Marley or anyone else, even with the Founding Titan in their hands. But of course Marley had to poke the hornet’s nest, and it was only natural they struck back.

She feared for what’s to come, and how many losses they’d have to endure if they have to ever fight the islanders again. That soldier, Levi Ackerman, wrecked through a line of titans without Zeke noticing. Even Zeke couldn’t stop him. if I wasn’t there… No, she didn’t want to think about it. They all had a part to play, and she played hers.

Back to the present, that’s where her focus should be: on the wars to come. When the news of the Colossal and Blender titans disappearing inevitably reaches enemy lands, it’s only a question of time before nations rallied against Marley, and of course, she and her friends will be at the front lines against them. What a mess. Reiner was right, Marley had no other choice but to keep him at his post. Hopefully he and Porco get along, their lives might depend on it.

Well, enough fearing for now. 

Some scrub here and there and she was done. The water went lukewarm as she left. When she touched the bathtub, she felt a strong surge of energy flow within her. Her mind was flooded with visions, and they were of her! They navigated through events that involved her family, comrades, the eldians, days and nights awake, Marley and war, the perfect match. Pain, exhaustion, lust, sorrow, camaraderie and an apathy she never felt before, mingling together the good and the bad and the ugly.

A long war in the Mid-East then she was back on Liberio, the Tyburs were there too, but then… A trap. Soldiers flying in… ODM gear? No, it can’t be. An explosion from the sea, her friends falling one by one, then she herself falling. Is this the future? It could be, because everything she just thought to happen was unraveled in her mind with such a great and unnerving detailing that it was unlikely to be fabricated.

Panning forward. Paradis again, she bore their uniform. Did she join them? No, it was a plan. To retake the Founding Titan and stop the rumbling was their goal. But they failed, the Walls fell and the titans marched. The mythical tale of the earth-shaking rumbling came to fruition. Scouts approached. Enemies? They didn’t fight, so maybe one. One by one a team of former foes was gathered and together they battled against all odds to save the world, or whatever was left of it. A battle for the seas. A battle for the skies. The eldians in the internment zone escaped. Her dad was alive! Her dad was a titan? No. No, no, no. She bit something strange, then nothing.

“Ahh!” She shouted as she spasmed and fell back to the bathtub, splashing water everywhere. Her breath was quivering in the water turning cold, but even the cold from the water felt warmer than what she just saw. After what felt like a long time she returned to herself. 

She breathed sharply, with hands supporting caressing her damp head. This… This is terrible! Her mind dabbled incoherently around the last visions. Porco, Magath. She felt a burning sensation in her chest, followed by bitter taste in her mouth, she darted for the privy and let it all go. There goes the supper. She hated vomiting. What a joke. This can’t be real. There’s simply no way.  

Someone knocked on the door. “Piecky, my dear, are you okay?”

Her dad. She woke him up. Crap, what a terrific daughter I am.

“I’m fine dad”, she lied, “I just slipped and hit my hand”, the nausea wouldn’t leave her, and she fought the urge to puke again. “Being a titan doesn’t free me from feeling pain” she said, in the most carefree voice she could manage at the time.

“Oh dear, oh...” He stopped, catching his breath. I scared him. “Just, just take care, okay?”

“Sure dad, are you alright?”

“I am, back to bed I go.”

“Okay, sorry for waking you up!”

She looked at her hands. Is this real? They felt real, but what they depicted, were they real as well? She didn’t want to believe so, but in her guts, she felt it all tracked. 

She sighed heavily. It’s going to be a long night.

[...]

Said and done, without surprise, the visions kept her awake all night. Poor sleep was commonplace for her,  especially in war periods, as she often had to stay in her titan form for days and even weeks long, where she couldn’t sleep.

Morning arrived, and with that a free day for rest and leisure. Marley’s treatment of their soldiers surely wasn’t the best, but postoperative breaks like that one gave them a well deserved respite.

No rest for me. I need answers. The questions were plenty. Where did these visions come from? How truthful are they? Can they be changed? Were the first few that barged her mind. But the one question that would drive her out of home on that chilly sunday was: Am I the only one to get them?  

Her first target would be her father during breakfast. She could be earnest to him without a problem.

“Dad, did anything unusual happen to you last night? You know, besides my squeak.”

“Well, no, not really”, he said, folding his paper to better look at her, “may I ask why you ask?”

“Nothing. Just curious… And no, it has nothing to do with your supper, dad”, she said, closing in for a hug.

Well, I can't say I’m surprised. He sounded fine yesterday. 

“I’m gonna go for a walk, bye.”

“Okay Piecky, I’ll probably be at Grice’s today for lunch, you can stop by if you wish.”

“Sure thing.”

On the streets of Liberio, alone with her crutch, she began her scouting. Her crouched position inside her titan made it kinda uncomfortable to walk up straight some days afterward. But alas, it wouldn’t be well looked if a marleyan warrior walked on all fours on the streets and unfortunately 

she received enough catcalls walking straight. 

She went to the very public market she went to the day before, a terrible idea, as many memories of her many hangouts there sprung all at once. A chilling afternoon with Porco, a tour with the Pantzer unit and going out with the kids during the festival led by the Tyburs were the most vivid ones she had, with the last one leading her thoughts to Udo and Zofia’s deaths. The image of their deceased made her nauseous yet again. 

But apart from her intrusive memories, everyone looked normal. But normal people don’t just wander in the streets, and thus she decided to visit Liberio biggest hospital, which was a good thirty minutes walk away. On the general practitioner nothing, so 

She went to the nearby rehabilitation ward, where physically and mentally crippled eldians went for recovery. The place had a nice garden in front of it with a few seats scattered around. Inside, the corridor bore a checkered flooring she didn’t like. It was always a sad sight to see her light snuffled out of her fellows, but at least they wouldn’t have to fight anymore.

She approached the reception.

“Hi, good morning.”

The receptionist glanced at her, and after noticing her band, straightened up.
“Hi, you, Ms. Finger, how can I help you?”

“Just Pieck will do. Can you tell if you took in new patients today?”

“We don’t usually divulge that, but…” Of course not. Marley tended to mask numbers of fallen soldiers, and for all intents, these included the impaired. The receptionist turned her back to a shelf full of sheets. “Uh, well, Ms. Fi- Pieck, we had one new patient arrive yesterday”, the receptionist seemed nervous. “Anything else?”

She was trying her luck, she knew, but it didn’t make sense to stop there. Her usually amicable face gave way to a stern one.  “Is that so? Tell me who it is.”

“M-miss Finger, if-”

“I am not asking”, Pieck retorted, with a cold gaze. For the low chance that person was afflicted by visions as well, it could be dangerous to let them roam free. The receptionist swallowed dry and consulted the name and doing so, her uneasiness seemed to fade. 

“Oh, I see. It’s Zeke’s grandfather, Asher Yeager.” She felt a cold shiver irradiating on her body. Zeke… If her visions were truthful, Zeke’s grandpa grew mentally ill through the years, having constant breakdowns at work, which granted the old man a disability retirement. She didn’t remember it being that soon, though. And Zeke himself was a matter she didn’t want to face yet.

She feigned normalcy and thanked the receptionist, making her out. Trying to calm herself, she traced back to her task at hand. She came to the conclusion that whatever got her wasn’t mass inflicted, which was a relief. Still, I can’t be the only one to receive these visions. She went to her last resource, the thing that differentiated her from the other eldians inside the zone, being a shifter. 

Zeke, Porco or Reiner may know something about it, at the very least. Zeke was sketchy, that she knew, but despite never feeling any sincerity from him during their time together she would never take him as a straight up traitor. Porco wasn’t a shifter yet, and even if he was, she wasn’t sure he would be the best option to talk things now, which left Reiner. Their chittalk the day before could prove useful earlier than she expected. I’m playing myself. She sighed. I can’t let these memories influence my choices. At least not yet. She couldn’t shake off the feeling her filtering method was basically a through gut feeling, and her gut feeling doubled down on Reiner being the safest choice for the moment. Sure, he spent five years on Paradis and she barely knew, but… Herself in the memories did. Memories? It sure felt like that and they told her that in his free time he would usually be with either his family or at HQ.

Assuming he’s in the same position as I am, he would want some air. One can’t get air inside the internment zone walls. So to HQ she went.

Warrior Headquarters

It was uncommon for her to be in the military headquarters on break days, but the guards didn’t seem to mind; she dared say some even liked it, to her dismay. Skimming the place, Pieck eventually found Reiner at the balcony towards the training field, where the infantry overtook a physical training. She approached him slowly. He noticed her arrival with a side glance, but didn’t turn to face her.

“Hey Pieck, everything alright?” His voice was gruff and looking at his hands she noticed some trembling. 

Something clearly bothered him. She looked around again. No gramophones in sight, or people. They had the whole floor by themselves. This is my shot. 

“Well,” she said as approached him, but still not making eye contact. “I had a dream last night, you know?”

“Hmm. What did you dream of?” The man said, straightening up.

“Many things actually.” She would then whisper. “Like… fighting atop of a giant centipede titan with the help of the Survey Corps.” Being direct was the best approach she could think to reach the deep skull of his.

All her day came halted to that moment, and in the silence of their words the winds blew in response. Please, don’t leave me hanging , she wanted to say.  

“Sounds ridiculous.” He finally said, turning around, slowly, his tired eyes meeting hers. “But curiously… I’ve dreamt of the same thing.” 

She inhaled and exhaled in relief. On one hand, she was glad she wasn’t an outlier , but on another, knowing that Reiner had the same visions strengthened the visions' reliability. 

“But the thing is, I don’t really believe it to be a dream,” Reiner continued. Taking in his face, he somehow looked much older, despite having a boy face still. “Do you?”

She pondered shortly.

“I… don’t either.” It was hard to admit. She let a ragged breath. “Reiner… We can’t ignore this.”

“My thoughts exactly”, he said, nodding, like trying to steady himself. “W-wanna talk about it?”

“Of course, but not here. We need somewhere more secluded.”

“Ok. But where?”

She checked the time on a nearby clock. 12 :07 p.m.

“My house! My father will be at the Grice’s for lunch, he won’t return early, so we can devise something there. You know where it is, let’s go.”

“Right now?” He asked, stiffened.

I see where he’s coming from. Despite being privileged for an eldian, even the warriors had to contend with a certain degree of surveillance while off duty, especially around their homes. It wasn’t unusual for new restorationists movements to spring within the internment zone, and the last thing Marley sought was to have shifters among their ranks. Walking together on streets and attending public places was mostly fine for them to do together, but extended particular gatherings in certain time frames could raise suspicions. 

“Yes, we go together. An hour in and out, the best they’ll think it’s that we’re fooling around together.”

“Oh.” He said, grimacing. Did the idea repulse him? Wow. “I see, yeah. I mean, you’re the brain here.” He nodded. “Let’s go then.”

Back to the internment zone.

Making it to her house they closed the curtains inside while faking some chittalk. It couldn’t hurt to be safe. Uma rubbed her head on Reiner’s legs while doing so.

“She likes you,” she said, trying to lighten up the mood.

“I think she’s just hungry.”

An accurate assessment, to which Pieck responded by filling Uma’s bow. Then she made it to the kitchen, which was the innermost room in the house. 

It was the time for either the most important talk of their lives, or the biggest fluke ever produced by mankind. With Reiner’s face being as crestfallen as he was, her visions were beginning to feel like a curse they’ll have to fight. The whole scenario felt very sudden and visions aside, a meeting like that would never happen in normal circumstances, she reckoned.

“So…” Reiner started.

“First… Let’s check the authenticity of these visions” She thought of moments when both of them were together. “When will the war start?”

“Two months from now, in November,” he answered without a hint of hesitation. “Our first battle happens in the gulf of Orionia, near a city called Peirus to fend off the Mid-East’s blockade.”

With numerous rumours of an unprecedented assembly of nations in the Mid-East coming to light, a war against Marley was almost an inevitability at that point. 

She let out a sigh, “and when does it end?”

“September of 854, when we take Fort Slava, wiping their last coastal base and earning a decisive victory for Marley.”

It was upsetting how in tune his words were with her visions.

“Then we arrived at Liberio for our well deserved break, and a week later your friends assaulted us.” She said, and as soon as did the words felt sour on her lips, and the feeling worsened and Reiner diverted his eyes from her glare. He seemed remorseful, and to an extent so was she. Why am I feeling this way? A rhetorical question at that point, she knew, because if memories make a person, she wasn’t the same person she used to be a day before. 

“I didn’t-”, she meant to add, only to be interrupted.

“Y-yes. Eren tricked Falco into sending inside info for Paradis, and they took advantage of the Festival led by the Tyburs. We…” The man sighed heavily, “I was out for most of the battle, and because of that we got beat pretty bad. You almost died… And the warhammer was taken…”

She extended her palms. “This will suffice.” She gazed downwards, fingers on her scalp. To say this isn’t good is an understatement. “I didn’t want to believe it but, I’ve seen all you said in my memories too. Whoever fabricated them made sure they were at least coherent. This is… this is…”

“ Hell ”, Reiner concluded for her.

She nodded. She wasn’t a religious person, but no other word could describe those visions. 

For a few minutes later they discussed the implications of the unravelled events and their possible veracity, to which prompted Pieck to ask, “do you have any idea what might’ve sent these memories to us?”

“No. But…” Reiner sounded hesitant. 

“But?”

“Before you showed up… I thought Eren sent these memories to me to torment me for attacking his hometown using the Coordinate. But if you have them… Well, I fear my theory doesn’t make sense anymore.”

It was food for thought, certainly. Prior to her mission in Paradis, she often questioned the real power of the Founding titan. A Titan so above the other Eight didn’t sit right with her. Obviously that changed upon seeing the kilometers long wall made of colossal titans. Since then, she knew better than to question the capabilities of the Founder. And now its holder was Eren Yeager, the perpetrator of the worst parts in her memories. 

Eren, alongside his brother, didn’t have Marley nor Liberio in his best interests and thus no reason for showing both her and Reiner what’s going to happen. Their clash was an inevitability they would have to prepare for, with these visions being their best weapon at that moment.

“It certainly doesn’t. I don’t think Eren is behind this, but given how you and I are affected, I could see him getting his own visions too.”

“Armin as well”, he added.

That’s correct, the blondie, Armin Arlert, the new Colossal. If they came to a battle of wits, he would certainly be a problem.

“ Eren …” Reiner said. The name made him visibly shaken, “we need to stop him somehow. We must propose to the upper brass a surprise attack before we are dragged to the east.”

“An operation, you mean.” She gave his suggestion a quick pondering. “On what exactly do you intend to base it on? Our visions? They won’t buy it, and even if they did, I’m not sure we can beat them before the Mid-East attacks.”

The warriors unit, as they were currently, were no match for the survey corps. They were the most proficient anti-titan squad Pieck had ever seen in her seven years as a shifter. That aside, they also had two Ackermanns and two Titans up their sleeves.

“A single colossal explosion could end us in a night”, she concluded. “And we don’t have enough titan gas nor bombs to cover the whole island.” For some odd reason, the thought of it unsettled her a little. For all she was told to hate the island devils, she didn’t want to partake in the destruction of the island, which was again a new feeling bestowed by her memories, giving her a headache on top of all the shit she'd been feeling that day.

Reiner too, didn’t look so fond of the idea.

“Look, Reiner, if it’s any consolation, I don’t wanna have them killed too.”

“Them who?” He faked ignorance.

“Don’t play coy. The scouts . I know you grew to be friends with them, and while I don’t understand how that came to be, even I can see their value as possible allies. They had some sensible pieces in their midst like Hange, Levi, Jean and Armin. She wouldn’t mind an alliance with them if push comes to shove, but… “Being real with you I just don’t see that happening”, she said, both to him and herself. Perhaps it was for the best.

“I see. That’s… sensible of you.”

“So… Let’s work together, then? Can I count on you?”

“Sure thing, Piecky ”, he answered with a smirk.

Not afraid to die, huh? “Don’t you start”, she said, hopefully playfully enough. It was a relief to know she wouldn’t have to bear her quest alone.

He chortled and then furrowed his brow. “Look, I gave you my idea. What’s yours? Assuming everything isn’t set in stone, that is.”

Yes, her most concerning question regarding those visions was whether to actually change what they saw. She didn’t know yet, but if they had but a slight chance to save everyone they lost, she should take it. She wouldn’t forgive herself otherwise. Uma jumped to her lap, providing a much needed comfort.

“I refuse to believe it is, otherwise all of this wouldn’t make sense… The Yeager brothers. They are the key. We must take them out to completely nullify the chances of a rumbling. You want to go to Paradis. I say we take care of the one closer to us.”

“Zeke…” Reiner said. The name lingered in the air as the idea of fighting their own War chief sunk in. “ You want to snitch him? ”

“Let’s go one step at a time. We are missing a piece here…”

Reiner cupped his chins. “ Porco .” She nodded, and he continued, “he’ll inherit his titan in two days and it's likely that he’ll receive visions as well…” She could almost see the cogs turning in his head. “Which also a hundred percent proves Zeke is affected too.”

“My thoughts exactly. We’ll watch the ceremony, and if he shows any signs of… disturbance, we’ll know what’s the cause. Then we can bring him to our side and devise a proper plan against Zeke.” She completed it.

And with that they basically just postponed the touchy topics, but just being with someone that saw all those memories and talked about was nice. Given Reiner didn’t move, it seems he thought the same.

After some moments in silence, he checked the clock behind him. “Your father is kinda late, huh?”

13:52 p.m. “Indeed.”

“I better leave then. Shouldn’t get your old man worried. Send him my regards, please.” He stood and slowly went for the front door. Just before it, he turned around. “Pieck… Thanks”

She hesitantly approached him and gave him a hug. What a nice hug it was.

“Please, be fine”, he said in a low tender tone.

“You too. We’ll avert this, together.”

“Yes, together .”

[...]

She cherished the glimmer of hope on that despair-filled day. I bet the memories didn’t foresaw this. 

Another thing they didn’t foresaw was the void that consumed her when Reiner left, which was barely held by Uma and her dad’s presence. Even sharing a room with them all day long she couldn't help but navigate towards her new memories, filling her with an inexplicable anxiety, especially when they regarded the rumbling… The cataclysm that would destroy her home in four years. If she did nothing, it was Liberio’s destiny to succumb to oblivion, and the weight of nobody else but her and a few others knowing that fact weighed tremendly on her shoulders, but inexplicably, she found sleep that night, albeit not a costless one. Filled to the brim with vivid nightmares where her dear ones would try to run for their lives in a potholed wasteland, only to be trampled, shot or burned in front of her. She couldn't save her, no matter how much she extended her hand. Their faces and screams as they died, one by one, continuously scarred her until she herself fell to an endless limbo until abruptly awaking, deep in tears.

In that solemn monday, she mustered all her energy for another day towards the hell she was seemingly destined for.

Chapter Text

Porco woke up. Had he had any sleep at all? It didn’t matter. That day he would inherit the Ripper Titan from that bitch Ymir, one who killed his brother while Annie, Berthold and Reiner watched. Reiner. That failure of a Warrior. If they sent me instead of him to the Devil’s Island, Marcel would still be alive . Porco couldn’t muster a single good argument to explain why the upper bass left him off the hook. The Titan he was owed was the Armored. It was mine to begin with. It was pointless delving there now, he knew that. He couldn’t help but do it once or twice everyday, though.

He washed his face and put on the clothing set to partake in the ritual, plain white shirt and dark gray pants. What a lack of flair. Quickly, he went downstairs. His mother was awake.

“Good morning, my son,” said the soothing voice of his mother. She made something for him. “Come, I made a quick lunch for you to eat.”

He joined the table. Hmm… That smell. That was an apple-egg pancake with marmalade topping. My favorite!

“Morning, mother," he said, sitting.

“Today is the big day. How’re you feeling? Nervous?”

“I’m fine, mom”. He lied, preoccupied in devouring the whole meal with haste. And yes, he was nervous, especially about becoming a Pure Titan. He wondered again how awful it would feel. It certainly didn’t look pretty from the outside perspective.

She stared at him. “ Porco ”, she said in a half pleading, half scolding tone only his mother could muster.

“Okay, a little bit”, he relented, to which she smiled.

“It’s normal. Rest assured there’s nothing to worry about.” She spoke like a master of the subject. “Our Motherland always knows what they do.” She grabbed his hands and squeezed. “Those devils, they stole my- our Marcel, but Marley saw the injustice of it, and bestowed upon you the chance to follow your brother’s footsteps.”

He wanted to share her enthusiasm, he really did. A smile was all he could offer her. “Sure thing Hmm. I better get going.”

“Oh sure. Take a coat, it’s cold outside.” She offered him the piece, rinsing her hands on his arms. ”I'm so proud of you, Pokko. Good luck.”

He welcomed the words, but felt undeserving of them. I haven’t done anything yet, mother. The words didn’t come to his lip, that was the most upbeat his mother had been since they learned of his brother’s demise.

Off he went. The chilly winds of the incoming winter made late walks in Liberio a little unpleasant, but today was worse. His footsteps echoed on the streets of buildings asleep. The sun was just beginning to rise. Damn, it’s really early . What a hassle. A few minutes later, he reached the carriage to take him to the ceremonial site.

“Eldian, wear this”, said an officer.

A blindfold. The ritual happened in a classified location, far from the HQ, he heard. After wearing it, he heard the gates opening, followed by the horse’s trot. 

Somewhere in Liberio

It took a lot longer to arrive there than he expected. Liberio is really big. Even as Honorary Marleyan they didn’t have liberty to explore the outskirts of the city. Its true extent was unknown.  Eventually the gallop ceased. 

“Remove it, we arrived.” Asked the same officer who asked him to put it on. He grabbed it from Porco’s hand and threw it in a bag. To the trash it goes, of course. It was tainted with eldian sweat, after all.

Gazing around, Porco found himself in a rectangular, secluded room with a one way mud route towards a metal door just ahead. The room was devoid of light and sound with exception of torches and footsteps. For sure an entrance to the same underground shelter he visited years ago. The door’s guard opened it and another one inside led Porco down the stairway a solid four or five meters below the surface. By its end there was a small corridor with two door entrances, one straight ahead, which was closed and another one to the left, open. They went left, arriving in a room fiddled with all sorts of research paraphernalia disposed in a circular fashion, walls painted white like milk, lamps attached to the roof instead of torches and two closed doors. It was rather well illuminated and roomy, unlike the rest of the shelter.

A group of seven people was waiting for him. Titan researchers, I remember them.

“Welcome, Porco Galliard.” A rather short woman said, offering a glass of water and pointing to an armchair in the middle of the room. “Come in, settle in, today’s your day.”

“Thanks”. He took the glass and sat on an armchair in the middle of the room. A thick-bodied man in a jacket approached, giving him… An apple? What is this nonsense? Porco hesitated to take it.

“Comply, Eldian.” Said the guard, pointedly.

“Sheesh, there’s no need for that.” The man raised his hand and sounded irritated. “Do yourself a favor and leave us be.”

“Who do you think you a-”, the officer attempted to protest.

“Here we are under the jurisdiction of the Ksaver’s Institute, so seriously, go away, he’ll be no trouble,” he turned his attention to Porco, “right, Galliard?”

Porco just nodded, befuddled at the discussion to which the guard begrudgingly left.

Now alone with the lab’s personnel, the man continued, “I see you are wary of our treatment, but fret not, here we value transparency, so ask away.”

“Why the apple?” Porco shouted hastily.

“Why, aren’t you hungry?” Upon seeing the answer didn’t satisfy him, the man added. “Your mental and physical states dictate the form and state of mind of your pure titan, which means hunger, thirst, tiredness or fatigue of any kind is ill advised prior to your injection. The last thing we want is a huge abnormal wrecking havoc here, right?”

“Y-yeah.” The thought never crossed his mind. 

“Well, that starts our explanation.” The man hurried to the blackboard. “So phase one is preparing your body and mind for the procedure you’re about to undertake. You must be well fed, hydrated, energetic but at the same time calm. Then, just prior to the injection, you’ll take enhancers. Let me see…” The man searched for something on the table to his right. “Here, you will only drink this right here.” The flask said Mask . “An extract from the Armor to reinforce your facial skin, the same batch your brother took.” 

“And with that you’re good to go. Any questions?”

Porco took the apple, flooding his dry throat with its succulent juice. The man smirked. “So shall we begin?”

[...]

Descending yet another stairway he made it to the ritual room, a big and dimly lit circular room. Close to the walls there was a metal platform at least eight meters above the ground where the viewers stood. From where Porco came from was erected a bridge to the room’s centre and by its tip a wagon would descend him to the ground. 

There he was again, this time not as a spectator. He looked around and noticed the room was full. Reiner, his cousin, Pieck, another girl… Zofia? and a boy he couldn’t recall the name were all together while Zeke and the Grices stood a certain distance away. The kids were excited, the adults less so. Zeke was impassive, as usual, but Reiner and Pieck looked a little tense. 

Before giving any room for further thought, the older man, Marlon, shouted. “So, not bad huh? Got any comments on our preparation procedure?”

Porco couldn’t help, he was feeling more relaxed. Way more than he ever expected to be this day.

“Huh. You could work on the enhancer texture, it’s too mucky. Maybe a little less incense? I also could do without that cream. What was that by the way?”

The man laughed. “ That was a brand new skin cleanser, incorporating surfactants, emollients and emulsifiers.”

“Whatever is that.” Porco was pretty sure the man just made up those words. “What time is it now?”

“Fifteen to nine. We are about to commence.”

Damn, time flew by. Everything was set, apparently. No turning back now, heh. Porco smiled.

He smiled. It was finally time. Six years ago, he watched all his comrades inherit their titans. Everyone but me. But now, with the Ripper at his hands, he would change things for better, we would succeed where Reiner failed. Where his brother failed.

Porco entered the gondola. Two researchers brought to the thick-bodied man a box with the syringe, ready for injection.

“It’s time. As I said, after I inject this, we’ll lower you and then you gotta exit the gondola as soon as you can, understood?”

“Absolutely.”

“Today you become more than an Honorary Marleyan, you’ll become the hand that will rip apart all the Motherland’s enemies. It’s a great honor.”

And with that, he took the syringe from the box and promptly aimed for his neck.

Porco felt the cold and thick liquid expanding within his body, and his senses came to a lull. 

He heard a small creak when the gondola opened. It took all his… Effort to walk… through the d-door. 

A sudden heat erupted from his inners, so intense it felt like the sun was hugging him. A mother’s embrace expanding himself to a lull.

Hunger. Eat. Dark. Eat. Pain. Eat. Move. Eat. Ahead. Eat. Pain. Fight. Eat. Back. Eat. Good. Pain. Eat. Smell. Pain. Smell. Eat. Human. Pain. Not. Eat. Human. Eat. Grab. Pain. Devil. Pain. Die. Eat. Devil. Pain. Eat. Must. Eat. Devil. Eat. Devil. Eat Devil. Pain. Cold. Relief.

The incessant fog and the muffled screams were swept away in an instant to unveil an ocean of desert, further beyond, a tree made of light, taller than any building or mountain he had ever seen and with a canopy that branched throughout the entire sky. It was beautiful, the most beautiful thing to exist. For a brief moment, it felt like home.

Then, memories.

Running on green fields on a sunny day. Fear. An immense wall. Towns like those depicted in the medieval ages.

Hunger. Searching for food in the trash.

Snow and cold. Seeking shelter in a church.

Priests and noblemen mumbling about someone.

A blonde girl.

Soldiers of another era. Flying?

Reiner, Berthold and Annie.

Satisfaction. The blonde girl smiles.

What a beautiful smile. Huh?

Training. Flying in the woods.

An ordinary boy.

The blonde girl again, this time angry. In Snow.

Jumping a cliff. Transformation.

A speech. Some sort of graduation.

The immense wall being breached.

Mayhem. Titans everywhere.

Doubt. A titan carrying a boulder.

Salvation?

A HQ. The blonde girl, again, her name being Krista.

A tower. A tin can. Familiar writing. Reiner. Deception.

A titan screaming like a best deep in the night.

Surrounded. Afraid.

Another transformation. Rage.

Not Krista. A Reiss. A Royal?

The Colossal and the Armored. 

Reiner, Berthold and the ordinary boy, with severed limbs.

Not ordinary. The Attack Titan.

A scream. The armored, surrounded by pure titans.

Despair. Confusion. Love and conviction.

Saving Reiner and Berthold.

She came willingly.

A harbour. A boat. 

Marley. Then nothing.

What a pitiful woman. Killing her was mercy. He could feel the warmness inside the titan. He had his body back. Well, time to get out.

Then, fire. A fire, so intense and so hot that burned the city asunder. Then a jolt, flashing more images. More memor– 

The HQ. Magath. The Kids. Reiner, Zeke, Pieck.

Reunion. An Alliance of Mid-East Nations declared war.

What?

Training grounds. Shredding the Armor to pieces. Satisfaction.

Traveling by train, by boat and by cart. Boredom.

She couldn’t have seen that.

Zeke reviewing battle plans.

The Cart carrying a crew.

Who are those?

Sleeping in tents. In the woods. Not sleeping at all.

Ships. Trains. Airships.

Powerful cannons that shot the Armored down. Retreat. 

A war. 

Battle after battle, full of close calls.

Tired and battle-hardened.

Breaking in another tent. A short woman.

Pieck?

Excitement. Relief. Guilt.

A big coastal city.

What’s going on?

A siege on sea and land.

Scream.

Titans spawning from everywhere. Advance.

When did this happen?

A bay with a fort.

Fort Saita, the final battle.

Deaths. Victory.

Am I dreaming? 

Marley, at last.

Home.

Pieck, crawling on human form.

What the hell?

The Tyburs. A festival. The Rumbling.

A blonde tall soldier. Trapped.

Rescued by Marleyans. Flying soldiers.

Relentless, unstoppable.

The Rogue Titan and the Warhammer. The Beast Titan and the Cart as well.

A decisive battle. Super soldiers. Ackermann.

The same from Ymir’s memories.

Explosion. The port being destroyed by the Colossal Titan the enemy stole.

Stop.

The Beast falls. Pieck is wrecked. Distraction.

Stop.

An error. A grave error.

Limbs amiss. Pain, so much pain.

A crystal, encasing a Tybur.

Being pressed, using the Jaw as a Nutcracker.

Defeat. Desecration. Saved by Reiner.

Huh?

Recollect and rise again.

The Devil’s Island. Paradis. Disguised.

Reiner. Pieck. Together to defeat the terrorist.

Anger.

Zeke, atop of the wall. Traitor. Royal blood.

Stop them at all costs.

Rocks protruding his body repeatedly.

Scream.

His body crushed.

Stop. Please, stop.

Blood everywhere. A missing eye. It’s all so muddled.

A titan jumping at him.

He gasped awake as he peeled himself off of the Titan carcass. I need air. Feeling the chilly air in his skin when flushed away his incoherent thoughts like a sudden nightmare. But some remained. He dare say the worst ones. 

After leaving the Titan he heard a commotion of applause. He did it, he inherited the Ripper Titan. 

Still, he couldn’t believe the things he just saw. Was that me? After this? A vision from the future? It seemed so real. How? He looked around expecting someone to clear his doubts but all he saw was claps and smiles, until Marlon approached him.

“Are you okay Galliard? It’s normal to be a bit startled, just breathe.”

“I, uh. I don’t know”

“It’s alright, it’s like you just died and came back. It can be frightening.”

It was bad, yes, being a Pure Titan made him less him, somehow, but it was far from being the worst thing he experienced in the last minutes.

“Yeah. It’s just that, I saw a lot.”

“You just inherited the core memories of the previous holder. That’s to be expected.”

And what about things that didn’t happen? Porco wanted to ask, but ultimately chose not to. The nature of those visions were too uncertain. It could as well be a test. Maybe that scientist put some mushrooms on my stuff. To check my mental resilience and whatsoever. Or perhaps I am just tripping. 

“And now you finally are what you sought to be. A titan shifter. Congratulations Galliard.” Approached Magath.

That’s right. I’m the Ripper. There isn’t anything to be afraid of.

“Thanks, Commander.” He bowed. “I live to serve.”

Magath nodded, and left. It seems an issue formed behind him. One by one, the watchers present, varying from many ranks of the Marleyan Armin, congratulated him.

“Congratulations, Porco. I’m eager to see your capabilities in battle.” Said Zeke, not as indifferent as usual.

Traitor… No, wait. He met the man’s gaze. What’s behind your facade? 

“Thanks, Chief Zeke.” 

“Are you alright, Porco?” Asked the next in line, Pieck. His dearest friend. And if his memories served him right maybe more than that. He felt like hugging her, but refrained. He could not betray any suspicious emotion here from all places.

He shaked his head. “Yes. Yes, I am. Nothing wrong, why?”

“Oh, nothing.” She smirked. “Glad to see you well, congratulations.”

“T-thanks.”

Then it was Reiner's turn.

“Congratulations, Porco.” Said Reiner’s, extending his hand for a handshake.

Reiner… His feelings on him were a mess at the moment, so he chose to just retribute the gesture, calmly.

[...]

Porco went along with the remainder of the ceremony and then went back to the preparation room where Marlon and his staff were collecting the supplies used.

“So what now?” He asked.

“We’ll take all this stuff back to the Institute.”

“I see”, he answered, standing still, which was probably what warranted Marlon’s next question.

“Are you sure everything’s alright?”

Porco remained in silence.

“Sometimes, things off the book happen. And us of the Institute would gladly pursue any problem you may have had. So feel free to ask away.”

Maybe it was his tiredness, or maybe something else, but deep down he felt he shouldn’t tell away what was eating his mind, even though a part of him trusted that man and wanted to.

“I-I… I need to rest.”

“Humpf. Yes, sure, go ahead, you know where to find me.”

Internment Zone

He found himself back in the internment zone, when the night was beginning to set. Walking alone in the streets, it was a good time to think before he had to face his mother again. If by any chance those fabricated visions proved to be true, then he could avoid them somehow.

He had to stop Zeke, and defeat the people from Paradis.

Not people, devils.

And not only for his friends but also for himself. The reason for that continued to scar him. His last memory was of a pure titan that looked like Colt’s brother, jumping at him, which could only mean that he… Died. It was a grim prospect, if all he saw came to pass. It’s not true, it’s not true.

“Grrh”. He scowled then sighed.

Close to an alley, he felt someone tailing him. He quickly turned around. It was Reiner.

“Porco, we need to talk.”.

“Huh. Get away.” Porco resumed his way home.

Reiner grabbed him by his shoulder. “I am afraid I can’t do that.” 

How dare he? “Get off me!” He shouted, shoving the hand aside.

Reiner extended his palm. “Calm down. I just want a quick word.”

“I don’t give a shit!”

“You’ve seen things…”, he said, cocking his head like he understood what Porco experienced.

What is he mumbling about? Dipshit.

“What? What could you possibly know? Huh?” Porco asked, his tone sharp.

“ Everything. I know everything”

“What? Did you smoke?”

“I’m afraid not, Pokko. ” Said Pieck, joining them.

This is getting weird. He gritted his teeth. “Pieck? What is going on here?”

His comrades exchanged looks. She had a hurt look on her face and looked hesitant, which was unusual for her. 

Then she came close to him and whispered in his ears. His heart quickened.

“We know you saw more than just Ymir’s memories. We can help with that, but not here.” She gave him a piece of paper. “Meet us there, and we’ll talk about it.”

What? He felt his head spin. How could they?

This time Reiner spoke.

“And remember. Don’t talk about it with anyone.”

Curious, Porco opened the note, it had Pieck’s handwriting:

my house.

supper.

3/10.

cya :)

He sighed heavily. I don’t believe I’m doing this. Yes he was sleep deprived and curious about the whole sort of visions in the last week that passed, but he didn’t actually expect to accept Pieck’s invitation, but there he was. Knocking on the door, Pieck welcomed him in. Leading him directly to the table, Oliver was nowhere to be seen, only a cat… and Reiner. He and Porco sat at chairs while Pieck had a sofa for herself, a little bit further away.

“So…”, he began, hesitantly.“Who’s gonna tell me what the hell is going on?”

Reiner sighed heavily. “Pieck, please.” Porco felt like a child misbehaving, and for some odd reason, he thought he was. Glancing aside, Pieck gestured to him to sit down.

“Well, no point playing around. Porco, you have memories of your future, don’t you?”

“My future?” He grunted. “You guys been smoking?”

“No, we haven’t. And feigning ignorance won’t lead us anywhere. Please Pokko, be honest.”

“I am be-” 

And then, staring at the woman in front of him he noticed how different she looked, not in appearance, but in the way she acted. It matched her mannerisms in the memories he saw. Reiner too, although he did look kinda weird. Feeling a guile forming on his gut, he slowly realized he wasn’t the one alone in his daydreaming. The Reiner and Pieck in front of him weren’t the same from a few before. 

“Wait-” his voice shivered. “Y-you guys too?”

They nodded.

“Y-you… You saw all that bullshit ?” It was getting hard to remain calm.

“We did, from our point of view.”

“And… It was real?”

“We have to assume so. Everything adds up.”

Damn it. Damn it. It seemed his intuition was right. Whatever he saw felt just like Ymir’s memories, but with events that didn’t happen yet. But no, no way they were right. It just wasn't possible. And weird as it was the everlasting guile since after the day of the ceremony started to fade away. He wasn’t alone with these troubling sights, and that was oddly comforting. He didn’t have it in him to pretend anymore. 

It’s all real.

“Damn, I didn’t want to believe it, but if you saw the same thing…” He huffed. “It doesn’t bode well for our future, does it?”

“That’s what it looks like.” Reiner finally spoke.

“Shit. We gotta do something about it.” 

“Glad we’re in tandem about that. We need to plan our next steps.”

“It’s simple, we snitch Zeke”, he said, without hesitating this time, anger building again. “Without him there’s no rumbling.”

“Huh”, Reiner chuckled, giving Pieck a weird glance.

“Huh what? Got a better plan, Reiner?”

“Look, Porco, I-we can’t fault your logic, Zeke is a problem, but we must be careful not to bite more than we can chew.” Pieck answered.

“How so?” He’s been beaten before.

“Well, let’s see. Zeke is far too important for Marley right now, they won’t just toss him aside over anything. He’s our Chief, so we need solid proof to accuse him of treason.”

“We’ll make him confess,” he pleaded. What’s so hard for you to understand? “He can’t take the three of us. We’ll make him submit and admit his treachery.”

“What treachery, Porco? He hasn’t done anything yet.”

He bit his words and pressed his head, trying to focus. Dealing with memories as a thing of the future was an absurd way to think. “You’re right”, he said, taking note of little smirks coming in response from the other two. They expect me to blow. 

“What about that bitch, Yelena? She was with him all the way. We get her, we get him.” Porco said, furrowing his brows. That time he would prove he has more in him than just arguing.

“We’ve been thinking about her,” she grimaced, reflecting his own feelings towards the subject. “Assuming Zeke’ll act accordingly to his newfound memories, he will conceal her somehow before we approach.”

“And also, without him I doubt we could win against the Mid-East.” Reiner said. “Plus I think it’s in our interest that this war ends quickly.”

“W-wait.” So many assumptions. “If you’re saying Zeke also saw his future, that means Yeager and the little shit who ate Berthold have memories too?”

“Yes.” Pieck answered without hesitation. “With the three of us being shifters, it’s a solid theory.”

That’s getting worse and worse. 

“Ok. Ok.”  He was getting a little dizzy with so much information. “Back to Zeke, what can we do about him?”

Pieck gazed downwards. She doesn’t know. Porco wasn’t having it. Sure, Marley might back him over them, but with solid proof they could…

“Wait until the war is over.” Reiner said. “Traitor or not, he’s needed to win the war.”

“So you want us to fight alongside him like nothing’s changed? And expect him to do the same?”

“Yes. We can’t strike him nor can he attack us without Marley’s punishment.”

“Humpf. Like he cares, he betrayed us, remember? BETRAYED US !”

There it was, the shouting they were both expecting.

“And we want to avoid that” added Pieck in a placating tone. “We just think it’ll be easier if he thinks us oblivious.”

Porco scoffed. “He’d not fall for that, he knows we know.”

“He’s royal blood. He’s special, and powerful. We are not. He has all the reason to think he’s special in that regard.” Reiner answered.

That actually convinced him, a little. Regarding Zeke, the only thing bigger than his intellect was his ego. He tried to calm down and reason with them.

“So we play coy, finish the war without him suspecting a thing, then once it’s over we pull the rug. That’s your plan?”

“Either after the war ends, or before, if he gives us such an opportunity,” Pieck said with a cold tone. They aren’t happy about this, and frankly so wasn’t he. Despite everything, Zeke was always a trustworthy figure for them. After cooling down, he finally said.

“Hmm… In this case, I concur.” Porco still thought they were too moroose for someone with intel in the future. He would like to fix that. “Then there’s the other Yeager, right? We have Colt eat Zeke and together we crush Paradis. No need for Tyburs and world-wide alliances.”

Reiner and Pieck exchanged looks. “They’re stranded on that island. No use thinking about them now,” she said, trying to brush it off.

Everytime he thought his common sense solution would be well received, it was shot down. So annoying! “Yeah, but they’ll get out. Faster than before, I reckon, if they got these memories too.”

“We know , Porco. If they come we must be ready.“

“The sooner we end the war against the Mid-East, the sooner we can put our eyes on them. Then we can decide what to do with them.” Reiner interposed.

Porco thought he was crazy but not only his suggestion, which he thought would be well received, was shot down, they were also trying to hide their disdain for it. The question was why?

“ Decide what to do with them. Interesting choice of words, Reiner.” Porco said, glaring at his very soul. What are you hiding? “You… You don’t want that, isn’t that right? You don’t want to face them!”

He looked at Reiner, then at Pieck, again and again. If the girl had any emotion, she didn’t betray it, but Reiner wasn’t that cold. He closed the distance to the man in front of him. Porco couldn’t understand, the Reiner of his memories didn’t have any qualms about going against the paradisians devils. He grabbed Reiner by the collar.

“Porco, I-” Reiner stuttered, proving his point. 

“You’re right Porco. We don’t want to fight them.” Said… Pieck?

Reiner’s eyes widened as much as his when he heard those words.

“P-pieck… You…” With the amount of things he wasn’t getting that night, Porco was beginning to think he didn’t see the same memories the other two did. “No fucking way. You , Reiner, I get it.” He turned to Pieck. “But you ? Why care for them?”

“You’re jumping to conclusions, Porco. I never said I cared for them”, she responded matter of factly.

“Then… What’s the matter here? Why avoid confrontation?”

“You saw how our last battles against them went. Why bring that onto ourselves again?”

“Oh… I see. So you’re scared.” Avoiding a fight for fear of losing was the most cowardly thing ever in Porco’s mind. ”Well, fighting them is inevitable, yet you intended to hide this from me? Would you turn your backs to Marley?”

“Porco, we are just being cautious,” Reiner tried. Dumbass, this is not about you.

“That’s not caution, it’s treason! Tell me why are you siding with them?”

“We are n-” Reiner thought to talk, but it seems he understood he wasn’t wasn’t the one he wanted to hear. He wanted an answer from Pieck. She’s the brain here. He was met with silence, which angered him even more. 

What the fuck are you hiding? He wanted their honesty, but he didn’t get any. He shaked his head, anger now turning into disappointment.

“Well. If you can’t tell me that, then I’m leaving”, he said. After giving two steps towards the door he heard the words that would shake him forever.

“Because…” He turned back to her, they locked eyes. “Because I don’t wanna see you die again.” She said, with an unheard fragility in her voice.

Die?  

“W-What?” Porco replied, startled.

“Porco, what do you believe to be your last vision?” Said Pieck, something weird in her eye.

It hurt. His head hurt. His vision was a mess. Everything was going down. A glimpse, amidst all the chaos. The Yeager brothers, Reiner, Colt and Falco… Zeke screamed, and then a titan was fighting Reiner. But then, nothing.

His head hurt, remembering the moment hurt, the feelings his future self bore at the moment were of tranquility, so he thought everything was fine, but…

“I… I-I don’t… No. I was in danger, but… we won, right?” A titan lunged at me. “Right?”

“Porco, calm down.” Reiner said.

No way! And next thing he barged into Reiner, pointing to his face. “What happened? Be frank with me!”

“You… Fell in battle, protecting me.”

“What? No, no, no, no…” He stumbled back as his senses began to dull and everything darkened. Pieck steadied him to the sofa she was on.

For some reason, Reiner continued. “When Zeke screamed, Falco turned into a titan and was keen on having me eaten. I thought Zeke was dead, so I gave myself willingly. Was about to, but you did it first.” His voice was cracking. “I won’t lie Porco, you were… in a pretty rough shape. I think there was no coming back from the wounds you had, but still, in your last moments you chose to die saving us, with a smile on your face.”

“A smile?”

On his side, he noticed tears brimming in Pieck’s eyes. As soon as he noticed it, Pieck embraced him, audibly crying.

And then, at that moment, he understood. These weren’t just visions, or memories. This was his life, he lived that, and so did he, and now, for some miraculous reason, he was back to retrace his steps. It still didn’t explain everything, but now he began to see their caution towards… anything.

Pieck’s embrace was tight, alluring even, had she not been crying. That made him feel bad.

“I see,” he muttered, hugging her as he spoke. “That must’ve been hard for you.”

Even Reiner approached him with a hand on his shoulder. For a minute or so, the room was met with complete silence and understanding. They took the opportunity to actually eat something, that also in silence.

[...]

“What then?” He broke the silence, looking at them expectantly. “What happened? After I… died .” The word still felt wrong on his lips.

Pieck exchanged looks with Reiner, smirking this time. For sure they spoke a lot before today. Reiner spoke.

“How much do you wanna know?”

“All of it, spill it out.”

“Okay, okay. It may be a lot but, well… We lost . Eren and Zeke came in contact and activated the rumbling. The walls crumbled, and the titans began to trample the world outside the island. Our forces were in shambles. Then the Scouts came to us seeking an alliance. We joined forces to confront Eren.”

Porco looked at her for confirmation, she simply nodded.

“With their help we managed to escape Paradis and reach Eren. And he… He was enormous, far bigger than a colossal, and with an army of them behind. We were clearly outmatched, but we fought, till the bitter end, together.

Porco was clearly expecting more.

For once he agreed with Reiner, that was a lot of information. Gazing downwards, he pondered about all he had just heard. Their plan was solid, yet they still lost, even against an unified Paradis. That’s a bummer. “Damnit.” Something was missing though. “And? Did you stop Eren in the end?” He asked for the missing piece.

“It’s not clear.” Pieck replied, “but… I believe that’s when we got these memories. So even if we lost, we are here to try again. A different path.”

Lifting Porco’s head so he could look at her, Pieck continued.

“So the way I see it, there’s two options. We could follow your idea to take Zeke and confront Paradis head on. Without Zeke on their side, we might succeed, sure. But that’s ignoring that they also have shifters on their side, likely with the same visions we have, like you said. Or…

“We take Zeke out once he’s no longer useful, and when Paradis make their move, we see if they are with Yeager or against him.” Porco said, clearly annoyed that such a plan was actually decent. “Yep, you got it”, Pieck said, smiling.

“Assuming of course any of them won’t just attack unprompted.”

“Of course, things may not come our way, which is why it’s important for us to be observant.” Pieck added.

Porco had an argument for it, but it soon flew by. He sat on his chair again, after long. “So you’re really sticking with just playing along?”

“Porco”, she grabbed his hands. “It’s frustrating to us too not being able to do much with our intel. But it is what it is.”

  It is what it is. 

This was not how he intended the night to go. A feeling of powerlessness took over his subdued annoyance.

“Can you play along as well? We don’t wanna force you.” She added, eying him pleadly. Who wouldn’t melt under that gaze?

He exhaled. “You ask a lot. But… Fine, I’ll sleep on it.” The other two smiled.

[...]

A few minutes later, Oliver made his way home, and thus, their little not so secret meeting had ended with a lot more than food to digest. On their way out Reiner stopped him.

“Porco… Sorry for going over to our plan of action. A lot happened in these memories… If you want to talk it over, I’m here.”

Porco pondered Reiner's proposal but quickly dismissed it. He still didn’t fully understand why he chose to sacrifice himself for Reiner with a smile on his face, and nor did he want to at the moment. What he needed was time alone. “You’re the last person I want to speak with right now”, he said, coming more aggressive than he’d have liked. “But… Thanks.”

And with that, his warrior comrade nodded solemnly and parted ways.

Long days and nights ensued for Porco before he got a better grip on himself and the situation he was living in. He did eventually relent to random talks with Reiner and Pieck about their memories and plans going forward and for a while they looked like a trio of friends just being themselves. A part of him wished for that. Though in a world as rotted as the one they lived, that was far beyond scope.

Warriors HQ

“Pieck, Porco. Welcome” a bunch of kids greeted them, as he and Pieck made it to HQ’s meeting room. The new batch of trainees. Their faces and names are the same from those in his memories yet again. Udo, Zofia, Gabi and Falco. He knew them in detail, but faked ignorance. 

They greeted him accordingly.

Just after they all joined the table, Magath barged in, with the four kids following. Reiner was thankful for that. The less they had to chit chat right now, the better.

“And here’s the meeting room.” He turned to the adults. “Warriors, time to meet your successors.” Then proceeded to introduce the kids one by one.

“Henceforth they shall attend the training required to become a Warrior themselves. They’re to inherit your Armor, Reiner.”

A foul thing. Both Reiner and Pieck would have their terms expire basically at the same week. If there was another good candidate among the four, they’d inherit the Cart. But it wasn’t interesting for the top brass to remind her of that, only him. Funnily enough, he would never give such a subject any thought, if not for his memories, much to his annoyance. 

 “And now you’ve been properly introduced, descend downstairs to the training field. Major Muigg will commence his first class in a few minutes.”

They promptly followed the commander’s order, leaving the adults alone. 

Déjà vu, Porco remembered. An expression he heard from southern Marley that described a familiarity with the situation at hand, like he has lived through the present situation before. It described perfectly the feeling he had being on that table again. The normalcy of it… He could almost live with it, pretending all the bad parts of his future memories were just a bad dream.

But the truth was there, laid bare for him to see in the form of a map, containing the entirety of Marley, with a few markings on it by the south-east. Mid–east nations.

Magath took a somber tone, “Our intel has recently gathered about certain meetings involving heads of state from Akro, Wali, Kapilar, Desh and Rupash. It seems they had been forming a coalition under our radar, with Pan-Katara and Jambu to join them in an unprecedented alliance. Their goal is simple: to dispute Marley’s supremacy. They’re preparing for war .” The older man stopped his speech to assess their reactions.

Porco put some effort into looking surprised. I didn’t know it, I didn’t know it. He kept thinking. Pieck and even Reiner were having an easier time than him.

Unfortunately or fortunately for him, things would never be like he saw. 

“They think we are weak, as they certainly know we lost the Female and the Colossal.” Magath continued. “Summing up, we gotta uproot these warmongers and stomp this meek attempt at war before it unfolds. As the fist of Marley, the Warrior Unit will be sent to stop this war in the frontlines Break time’s over. You’re heading to the Mid-East.”

What break time? It was hard to grasp the idea he would fight an all out war with just a month of titan experience, but at least this time he’d have his memories and the other two to shoulder the responsibility of ending the world and attending to the real threat. It’s what gave him a little rest at night.

Chapter Text

Vrees was actually so apart from his mother’s house he preferred taking a carriage than walking, it was more private at least. ODM gear would be the best though. Alone in his thoughts, that’s how he preferred to be lately. After retaking Wall Maria and the publication of Grisha’s books Paradis underwent a big change in social mood towards everything, really. Streets were now filled to the brim, the economy was booming and cultural events were ramping up as the new conceived notion of an unified nation of Paradis rose. And in the midst of all that were the survey corps, the ones that led their liberation, now hailed as the Heroes of Paradis . 

Everywhere one of the scouts went, at least a small number of fans would follow suit, and Jean wasn’t left out. Being famous was really cool, he had the attention of the girls and people would come to him to ask questions and get his signature. It felt good and validating to have all his hard work recognized, even though he never expected nor demanded it. Despite that, he came to enjoy his newfound fame… For a while. 

He didn’t have peace to do the things he once enjoyed, like visiting the downtown market and doing simple errands. Staying at Vrees granted him the minimal privacy required for him to not go nuts. And if the trostians found out the heroes of Paradis were inside the carriage, it would certainly come to a halt, and it would be such a shame to lose a sunny Saturday afternoon answering the same questions over and over. “How did the Colossal die?” , “Are you friends with Eren?” , “Can you teach me ODM movement?” were among the most popular ones.

Although a particular one struck his nerve a few days past.

“How are you single?” asked a girl when he was buying groceries one day. “I haven’t found my right one”, was his answer, even if he hoped he already had.

After the shitstorm of events that took place that year, he finally found some respite to think about his love life again, and with no surprises, no one, no one but one girl ever made his feelings stir. It was Mikasa the girl that permeated his dreams since he laid his eyes upon her. She was strong, fierce, beautiful and smart, perfect black hair and a calm and collected demeanor, a match made in heaven, except she wasn’t his, and thinking about it brought him more anxiety than ever.

He couldn’t quite pinpoint what was going on with her and Eren, but since that day when she attended Sasha’s dinner in his house, they haven’t been quite the same. Mikasa, overworking herself, seldom caught Eren free in their workdays, thus staying more time with Sasha, which by proxy meant more time with him. With peeks hither and thither, he put one and one together to find out Mikasa suspected Eren was having problems he did not want to share. 

Had Eren fumbled so hard with her? A big part of him wished so. He didn’t wish his suicidal comrade any ill, but he clearly wasn’t befit of Mikasa Ackerman. He should’ve left at that, his young pal being dumb with a pretty girl, but he didn’t, he couldn’t . He and his stupid mind knew something was off, because he himself barely spoke with Eren nor Armin since that same day outside work, and seeing the trio growing apart wasn’t something he wanted to see. And so he went to investigate what the hell was going on with Sasha, she would talk to Armin and he to Eren. How funny things turned out, because well, one thing led to another and that day in that carriage Eren himself was there sitting in front of him.

Jean glanced at Eren again. His friend’s proposition to join them was sudden, to say the least. Since their time at the training corps, he, Connie and Sasha had a custom of all three visiting their parents together from time to time. This particular time though, Sasha bailed out and didn’t really bother to explain why. He and Connie tried changing days, everything, to no avail, and a week later, after the whole thing was set, out of nowhere Eren asked to join her vacant place.

Jean’s natural answer was a no. Again, nothing against Eren, but he’d rather keep him away from his mother. It could get embarrassing really fast.

To his dismay Connie vouched for him, and weirdly enough, so did Sasha. It almost felt like a setup. Weird. Too weird.

Weirder than that even was how collected Eren was acting that day. Polite and curt, not braving his way through. Even the traffic didn’t seem to upset him. Jean was content with that, albeit skeptical.

Before long, he saw the same girl who asked why he was single or not in the streets. In hindsight, she was pretty.

[...]

After an absurd amount of time later (an hour or so) they arrived at his mother’s house, at sunset. 

“Finally!”

“You’re one to tell Connie, you didn’t shut up.”

“It makes time go faster, you know.”

He carried his trunk and knocked on the door. The sight of his old house brought him a feeling of safety. Immediately his mother came to attend them.

“Jeanbo! Boys! Welcome!”, shouted his mother, approaching them.

“Tsk, I told her to not call me that.” Jean whispered, to himself. He thanked the driver, who also asked for his sign and then let himself in. His mother warmly welcomed the boys inside.

“Come along, Connie and you… you must be Eren?”

“That’s me.” Eren smirked, timidly.

“Nice! Nice of you to bring a new one, my boy.” She looked around. “But where’s Sasha?”

“She couldn’t come this time. Eren came in her place,” replied Connie.

“Oh, a pity. I spoke with Mr. Braun recently. He expected to see her soon.”

“Hopefully, next month she’ll be around.” Jean said.

Jean and Connie entered the house and made themselves comfortable. His mother decided to give Eren a little tour. They tagged along. Eren stayed in Jean’s old room, where Sasha usually slept. It made sense for her to be apart from him and Connie, but Eren? Tsk. His protest was in vain against a very obstinate Lyanna Kirstein and Connie Springer, the latter just playing with him of course.

“Thanks, Ms. Kirstein,” said Eren, smirking on him? 

“Scrap that, call me Lya,” she said, smiling. “So that’s it, supper will be ready in an hour, boys. Until then, relax. Especially you Jeanb-. Jean.”

Well, at least she’s trying.

[...]

It was a nice break not having to stress over anything and just chatting away his thoughts and problems. He missed Sasha there, her banter with Connie was so dumb and lively, few things could compare. It estranged that Eren was fine though, as for once he wasn’t stressing Jean out by being a dumbass.

His mother made a <german food 2>, it looked gorgeous, and smelled even better. Tasting appeased his mouth and belly and humbled his perception over his cooking skills, he definitely had a ton to improve, Sasha and Connie even more.

Talks about their daily routine post Wall Maria struck the table, which wasn’t his favourite subject. His everyday life was so dull. Then his mother got curious about Eren’s titans powers, and he couldn’t really fault her for that, even though he found it fascinating despite seeing it first hand numerous times. Perhaps bringing him wasn’t the worst idea.

A topic led to another and again the topic became women. 

“I hope someday my boy finds a beautiful woman to settle down with. It’s a dream of his, you know?”

What? For Wall’s sake, not again.

“Mom!” he shouted angrily, perhaps too much.

“I mean, it’s not like a weird dream to have or anything,” Connie added, trying to appease him.

It’s half the dream, though. Mellowing out at his home, doing nothing but appreciating a peaceful life with a glass of wine in hand together with Mikasa, that’s what he wanted the most. Does she know the rest?

“Yes.” Eren nodded and looked at him with a curious face. “So… found someone yet, Jean?”

Yes dur, Mikasa. No, he couldn’t just say Eren’s best friend was his crush, it could go wary really fast. But maybe if he and Mikasa were really estranged… An opportunity. First he needed to assess Eren’s deal with her, so he played along.

“Huh. You know… There was this pretty girl on the market. I saw her a few times, but never made a move.”

“For real?” Connie was befuddled, “I never saw her.”

Shut up Connie! “Huh, you’re talking like you know everyone I’ve met.”

“Duh, of course I do, even then, why didn’t you ask her out then?”

“Huh… Never gave it much of a thought really, but who knows. What about you, Eren?”

“Uh… You know, same as you, I guess. Or maybe not… But yeah, I don’t think it’s for me, at least for now.”

“Oh stop it, just spill it out.”, said Connie.

“Huh? No, there’s nothing to spill it out.”

“Bullshit, we’re friends, right? Just go ahead.”

Nice, Connie! It was surprising how wild of a card his baldy friend was.

Eren scratched his head, a little… embarrassed? “I do like someone, I think?”

“You… Think?”, asked Connie, genuinely confused.

“It’s… Hmm. Complicated.”

Jean was about to call on his friend’s bullshit, but Eren did look really confused there. What’s going on with him? He hasn’t been bickering with me, and now this. His heart quickened and thus he took a few sips of juice to calm down.

“What’s so complicated about it? Who is it? We can help you.” Connie made a cheeky face.

“Wait boys, he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it” his mother intervened, clearly amused by the chatter she started, then continued. “Love works in mysterious ways and in its own time. It’ll blossom when it must.”

He never took his mother for a philosopher, but there was some truth to that, something can’t just be sped up. 

Eren seemed relieved with his mother’s words and quickly tried to change subjects. 

“Well… Thanks, Lya. So… Talking about love… What about your father, Jean? You never spoke of him.”

He felt his heart miss a beat and suddenly the food was flavorless. He couldn’t know. He exchanged looks with his mother, and she did a remarkable job at hiding her true feelings with a crooked smile. His father, Nolan was his name, as he had to remind himself every time . Maybe the piece of shit was alive, maybe he wasn’t. It didn’t matter anymore, that “man” didn’t matter anymore, because when he did, he wasn’t there. Not for him, his own son nor for his mother and the woman he was supposed to love.

After joining the military, Jean noticed how easy he got in his childhood, a house to live, full meals everyday, a loving mother and family, still with all that he missed, he wished, he longed for his father to come back home one day. The day never came, and eventually Jean just… stopped caring, although for his mother that was still a sensitive topic. She was a strong woman.

“Uh, it’s a long story. I don’t think-” she began, words cracking in a way only that subject could do.

“He’s not here anymore,” he said.

His mother nodded, and for a few moments, silence. 

If anything was worth from that interaction was Eren’s assface afterwards, he wished he had a camera to photograph it. Perhaps he would paint it later. 

He turned to Eren, “Excellent way to sour the mood, dumbass.” Jean jested. Eren would have to indulge him now with some old fashioned banter.

“Oh. I didn’t know. I’m sorry,” was all he got back.

“Don’t bother,” his mom added. “Eat before the food gets cold.”

Something was definitely wrong with his friend.

[...]

After supper, banter and a delicious <dessert>, Jean slept superbly that night, not thanks to Connie’s snoring. He thought he heard a scream in

middle of the night, but nothing else came of it, and everyone was just fine the next day. They had breakfast early in the morning and soon their driver, Mattis, arrived.

“Thanks mother. Everything was so good.” Jean waved awkwardly to his mother.

“You’re more than welcome, my boy. Just don’t take that long to come back again, ok?”

“Huh, I’ll try.” 

She pouted. 

“ Okay. I promise.”

“I’ll see to that. Hmpf. Take care my boy”, she said, giving him a tight hug. Nothing quite like it. In his direst moments in Shingashina, it was her hug he missed the most.

“Off to Ragako we go!”, said Connie, pumping in excitement, carrying his stuff.

Jean always admired his friend’s optimism going back to his hometown despite everything that transcurred over there. Commoners would talk about it as a cursed town before the truth about the titan's origin was revealed.

Ragako

Unlike their trip to the north skirts of Trost, Ragako was way further within the interior of Wall Rose, and thus they spent most of the day in a carriage. At least the weather was nice, sunny, clean sky and not too hot. That time, both Eren and Connie were quiet, almost upsettingly so.

Too quiet. Too boring.

“So. Shall we deal with the elephant in the room?” He started, to which they both glanced at him.

“Eren, why did you come with us? How did you swap places with Mikasa?”

Eren and Connie both tilted their heads at the same time, it was almost cute. 

“To meet your-” Eren began.

“Tell me the truth,” he insisted.

“What? I’m telling-”

“You come along on a trip you’ve never shown interest in and you’re acting all… All behaved. Urgh.” It pained him to admit that. “Who are you and what did you do to the real Eren?” 

He was serious as he could be when Eren stared at him in silence until the boy just laughed.

“Heh. Missing good ol’ me, horseface?”

“Hey hey hey”, Connie was anticipating the fight.

There he is. He caught himself grinning.

“I’m afraid he’s not coming back, though,” he said, aloof as hell.

Huh. He glanced at Connie, who mirrored his own confusion.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Connie tried this time.

And swiftly, bringing his finger to his mouth, Eren shushed them both, using the same finger to point to the driver behind Jean.

For an instant he thought it was an above the average well elaborated prank of Eren, but given the temerity in his friend’s face and the demeanor he bore during the whole trip, Jean got it, whatever was on Eren’s mind the driver couldn’t hear.

“I’ll explain everything when we reach Ragako.”

As he nodded, Eren smirked. It was getting harder and harder to read his shifter friend.

[...]

As soon as they arrived at Ragako they paid their condolences to Connie’s family and everyone else and soon they found themselves near Connie’s mother in pure titan form, her sight reminded Jean how, at the end of things, they were just lucky to not end like her and those who did this, Zeke Yeager and company, were still out there. The thought filled him with anger. As Connie touched his mother’s titan forehead, he shrugged his thoughts aside and closed to Eren.

“So… Are you gonna spill the beans, or what?”

His friend looked around. No one, isn’t that what you wanted. As if Eren could read his mind, he nodded and walked towards the titan.

“Do you want to save your mother, Connie?”

Huh? 

“Huh?” Connie was confused. “W-What are you talking about?”

He turned to them.

“If there was a chance for her to turn human again, would you take it?”.

“OF COURSE!” replied Connie, without missing a beat. “I’d do anything.”

“I see,” Eren said solemnly, then turning to him.

“Jean, you wished to live in the interior, right?”

“Right.” Where is he getting at? Eren’s posture was beginning to get eerie.

“And now more than ever, you could just go. So why do you stay?”

He often wondered about that. At first there wasn’t a concrete reason, only a wish ,  to atone for someone else, someone far away from him now. But after everything he went through, that wasn't the sole reason anymore. There was the bonding he had with the Survey Corps, as they were his second family by then, but there was also a part of him that wanted to see it through. To end what they started.

As he thought that, he sensed his friend’s gaze going right through him, again as if he could read Jean’s mind. He felt compelled to tell the truth, at least part of it.

“I won’t be able to rest while there’s a threat to be dealt with.”

Eren furrowed his brow. “And what threat is that? The titans have almost been wiped out.”

Was he being tested? Are you stupid?

“Marley, and the warriors they sent still live. They’ll come back again.”

“And if we deal with them, and another enemy shows up, what do we do?”

“We deal with them as well.” 

Connie nodded while Eren studied both of them.

“The entire world hates us. If we were wiped out tomorrow no one would bat an eye, and many would celebrate.” Eren walked past them both, now looking to the lands leading to Wall Maria. “And yet, you’d fight to the bitter end to protect what’s important to you.” He turned around, smirking.

“I need that determination going forward. But more than that, I need your trust .”

“Trust? Is this a joke?”, he asked. Why is he being so dramatic?

“You have our trust, Eren,” said Connie, his tone grave. “Why ask us about it now?”

Eren looked disconcerted for a moment. “Huh. I need you to promise me that you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you two.”

Jean grew impatient. “If this is theatrics, I’m leaving.”

“ Promise me. I’ll make sure you won’t regret it.”

Jean and Connie glanced at each other. Jean thought of everything he did just to have a moment in solitude with them. If Eren somehow planned all that just to talk with them in private, whatever he had to say was important.

“I promise,” said Connie hastily, clearly taken by the idea of liberating his mother.

Against his best judgement, he obliged. Why not? Nothing to do here anyways, might as well be entertained.

“I promise”, he said the words that unbeknownst to him, would change his life forever.

Eren sighed heavily, again looking around for anyone who might be prying.

“Ok, here it goes. Well, how can I put it? I know the future, sort of.”

For a solid minute he could only hear the wind blowing the leaves around and birds cricket in the background as both he and Connie stared at Eren incredulously. Are you kidding me? The boy had the audacity to bear a nervous face still., as neither he nor Connie said anything in response.

Eren scratched his head with an embarrassed face. “Wild stuff right? I know I know, it sounds absurd.”

Suddenly, Connie bursted in laughter. “Hahahahahahahahaha, nice one Eren, just don’t tag my mom along next time” the boy said as he placed a heavy hand on Eren’s shoulder as Eren himself looked dumbfounded by Connie’s reaction.

“You’re almighty, sure. You smashed our enemies with your titan…” Connie cracked a nervous chuckle. “But this is ridiculous even for you. Right Jean?”

“Yes. What the hell, Eren?” He asked, beginning to tremble.

“It’s the truth, I swear! I can prove it?”

“C’mon Eren, stop playing around!” Connie was visibly upset by the blunder and played it off cool. 

“Huh? You’re not buying it are you?”

While Connie did that, Jean focused his attention on Eren’s reddened face. Not a trace of deceit. Eren wasn’t one to mask well his true feelings. It can’t be, Jean thought nervously. This entire time he wanted to be here. Away from everyone. Even Sasha was on it, I sensed it. It didn’t sum up for Eren to be lying. He isn’t his usual self, something in him changed, but since…

“Since when?” He tried, calling both the boys attention before things went physical.

“Since when what?”, replied Connie, “don’t entertain him, Jean.”

“Connie, chill a little. Eren, since when can you see-” he quoted, “-the future?” 

Eren looked to the ground. “Since the last ceremony. When we were awarded our medals.”

“What happened that day?”

“Historia. I triggered memories of future events when I kissed her hands.”

“Memories?”

That doesn’t make any sense, why kissing a girl’s hand would give him visions?

“Jean, stop messing around.” They both ignored him.

“Yes. The future I see are like memories, just like those I inherited from my father.”

“Connie, give him the benefit of doubt.”

“Oh. Okay, I guess,” he approached Eren. “The future you say, can you prove you can really see it?” 

“My memories are scattered, but yes. You want me to predict something?”

“Do we?”

“It’s better that you do… Or maybe it’s not, but, I’d rather if you did. It would mean a lot to me.”

Connie slowly left Eren’s side and began to mutter in his ears.

“Surely you can’t believe this bullshit, can you?”

“Connie, why else would he bring him all the way here? Plus, it’s not like that’s the weirdest thing in a world where people turn into this” he said, pointing to Connie’s mother. Foul argument or not, it seemed to subdue Connie’s unrest.

“Alright, go ahead, predict something, Mr. Yeager” Connie shouted in a mockery tone.

“We’re leaving the walls for the first time in years in four months.”

“That’s… fair, although with no titan left it’s only natural”, Connie retorted. 

“Yes. That last titan will be killed by november this year. By winter’s end there will be nothing but a few titans left on the island, and then we’ll travel to the shores of our island.”

Jean felt Connie’s uneasiness reflecting his own. Eren’s posture and his firm answers gave little room to doubt it. Jean decided to indulge further.

“Supposing what you said is true. What then?”

Eren glanced at him.

“It’s why I’m here, to tell you what’s next. I’m not aware of all the details, only the major parts. Ok? Here we go.

“As I said, we’ll find the sea and confirm everything my father wrote about the outer world. Later on next year, marleyan reconning ships will appear on our shores, and we’ll capture them one by one with mine and Armin’s titan, alongside the help of traitors in their ranks. The brave volunteers, they call themselves. With their help we’ll build a harbour and not too much later a nation named Hizuru will approach us, seeking a treaty with us for the gas we use on our ODM gear in return for better weapons and infrastructure.”

Jean was having a hard time following it, and even more processing what he was hearing. No one could craft something like this… Connie’s eyes widened each sentence, the reason they did, Jean couldn’t know.

“After some time, Paradis evolves, and life is almost peaceful, if we ignore what happened outside. We build a ferry, and the ODM gear you use becomes entirely different.” We use? What about you? Jean thought. “They will be adapted to fight humans, just like those from Kenny’s squad, remember?”

He spoke of Kenny's squad like it was a long time ago. 

Eren stopped. A reasonable pause for everything he just spilled out. The eerie sensation around Eren grew larger. His face, voice and the way he carried himself suddenly felt more somber. No way I’m buying this.

“Assuming you’re right…” Connie started, impatient. “That wasn’t so bad, so what’s that stuff about saving my mom? What about Reiner? The beast?” Connie's voice became venomous for an instant.

“Yeah, we’ll get to that.” Eren got full control over the situation. “The warriors. They’ll be occupied in a war against some countries of the Mid-East, some nations placed south from us. The war will last four years, as far as I remember.”

“And after that?”

“Marley declares war, and we’ll face them on the battlefield.”

Jean’s mouth snapped shut and swallowed dry. So that’s all it amounts to, in the end? He knew they’d never be left alone as long as Marley reigned, but he didn’t cherish having to fight Reiner again. The Beast though, was a different subject, alongside that Mule shaped one. What a stupid titan, could’ve sworn it wasn’t a shifter.

“We strike first, taking the Warhammer titan and bringing Zeke to the island.” Connie’s hand clenched in a fist. “Turns out my brother is of royal blood, and being in contact with him allows me to draw the full power of the Founding…”

As Eren spoke more and more, the more ridiculous the whole plot got, putting Jean’s head into a whirlwind of events he could not comprehend. Something about Marley attacking back with flying ships, the walls coming down, an army of colossi led by none other than Eren trampling millions upon millions of people outside, all while he, Connie, Mikasa, Armin and a bunch of warriors from Marley attempted to stop him?

[...]

At the end of the long exposition all he could think of was how the story was too ridiculous to be real, and even more to be fabricated. It didn’t fully settle in, but if he what Eren said is true, he just admitted doing mass genocide. It would make him the worst person ever. It was hard to believe.

“W-why are you telling us this?”, asked Connie, aghast from all he just heard.

“To let you know what’s ahead,” said Eren, unsure of himself for the first time that day.

“W-we fight you? My mom… S-sasha… Dies?” Connie continues, not really making sense anymore.

“It’s what I saw.”

“Y-you gotta be kidding, right? Tell me you made this up!” 

“I wished I did, Connie.”

Connie began to hyperventilate a little, and Jean quickly steadied his friend to the ground, Connie’s hands were trembling and Jean was surprised to know his were as well.

“Are you okay Connie?” He asked.

His friend looked him dead in the eyes.

“How can I be?” 

“Okay, just breathe.” He turned around to Eren, who was looking guilty and aloof now, the same way he was before they arrived. “So Eren, all this blabbery means what to us? Is the future set in stone?” he asked, his own anger seeping into it. “And all we can do is watch as we kill ourselves and destroy the world?”

Eren’s face darkened.

“I… I don’t know.”

And in an instant he found himself face to face with Eren, holding his collar with enough force to tear the clothing apart.

“Why did you tell us this? What does this mean?” He shouted, anger rising because Eren’s eyes didn’t meet his, nor any word left his mouth, for that matter. He loosened the grip. “Dare to at least defend yourself?”

Eren swallowed dry and resumed. “I don’t have your answers, Jean, but… In these memories I saw, I got the feeling the ‘Eren’ of my memories knew his future as well, and only he had such ability. But this time, well…” He lifted up his face to meet Jean’s. “This time Armin had seen these memories too.”

“Armin?” he asked, surprised.

“Yes, he’ll agree with everything I just said.”

He and Connie took time to try to understand the implications. Suddenly, everything seemed to click. First the dinner where Eren and Armin were away, then Mikasa not really seeing them eye to eye, and right then this…

“That was his plan right?” Connie pointed, rising up again, seemingly better. “That’s why Sasha didn’t come! Armin spilled the beans to her, while you did to us!”

“Yes. It was all Armin’s plan.”

“This means…” Jean dared to find a silver lining. “If Armin knows, maybe this time around we can change this? Assuming that’s your goal.”

And for once Eren looked hurt. “Yes, it’s my goal to change that future, that’s why I need your help.”

“You d-destroyed the world.", said Connie, unsure if it was a question or an affirmation. “Didn’t you achieve your goal?”

“I did.” There were tears in Eren’s eyes. “I trampled everyone outside. Not just the men, but the women and children too. I trampled them all.”

“And worse than that, I divided the island, got Sasha killed, and forced your hand to stop me.”

Jean didn’t know what to say. It was hard for him to believe his friend did all the things he said.

“I didn’t want to believe all of this was true, and I know you don’t want it too, but it felt so real, and it matches with Armin’s memories too.” The boy almost fell to his knees, but Jean grabbed his arm on the way down. 

“It torments me. Every night, every day.”

Eren looked defeated. The dark circles around his eyes were more visible than ever. He never saw his friend like that, so… laid bare, fully exposed to him, no longer the cool fiery hero, just a tormented soul. 

[...]

It took the boys long minutes to gather their bearings back. Jean never expected mere words could have such a toll on him. It was like taking Levi’s punch in the gut. Either Eren did the acting of his life, or things indeed would get really ugly. It was hard to believe he wasn’t being truthful, but it hasn’t hit him yet.

“Eren… That’s insane,” he said for the fourth time that afternoon. “Who else knows? Only the scouts?” He asked, his own voice strained.

“You, me, Armin and Sasha”, Eren replied, eyes not leaving the ground. 

“Huh? What about Mikasa, captain Levi and commander Hange?”, asked Connie.

“Armin wanted to get over with you first, we’ll let Levi and Hange know when you’re convinced.”

Someone is missing.

“And Mikasa?” he asked this time. 

“Err… Well, it’s complicated.”

Jean felt a tug on his stomach. But it felt inappropriate to indulge it at that moment, instead he just said, “you need to tell her, what are you waiting for?”

“I will tell her. Don’t worry.”

Jean wasn’t satisfied but decided to let it go, for now, Eren was ragged enough for the moment. As the sun set he heard the carriage that would bring them back to Trost arrive.

“It seems we’ll have to finish our conversation later”, Eren said, completely worn down.

One by one they entered it and in a sepulchral silence they went back home as they brooded over their hypothetical grim future. It seemed his dreams for dull and boring days would have to wait.