Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jihoon is getting fucked into the mattress after a date the night it happens. 

Hyunwook’s grip on his waist is sure to leave a bruise, but Jihoon can’t bring himself to care. He loves seeing the bruises in the mirror afterwards, a reminder of the events from the night before. Everything is a reminder of Hyunwook and Jihoon always sends the younger photos afterwards, knowing how much it riles Hyunwook up, seeing Jihoon marked by him.

Jihoon’s whimpering with his face pressed into the pillows, he feels one of Hyunwook’s hands on the back of his neck, pressing him further into the pillows to the point where his airway is being constricted. He can only let out pathetic moans that are swallowed up by the pillows. There’s a layer of sweat all over his body, his eyes are glossed over, and his face is burning up. He loves it, loves every second of it. Loves how Hyunwook fucks Jihoon like the older’s body is just for Hyunwook to use. 

When Hyunwook finally releases his grip on Jihoon’s neck the older lets out a breath in relief, lifting his head slightly up to look back at the younger. All he can focus on is how good Hyunwook looks – eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he focuses on making the smaller feel good, a layer of sweat over his toned body, his hair a mess. Jihoon feels a sense of possessiveness wash over him from knowing he’s the only one who gets to see Hyunwook like this. 

Jihoon feels Hyunwook’s thrusts get rougher and rougher, a telltale sign that the younger is getting closer to cumming, so Jihoon starts whimpering out nonsense in his fucked out state, knowing he probably sounds delirious. “Please, fill me up, fuck. Need your cum in me, want to feel it in me. I want to feel it leaking out of me, please. I’m yours,” he whimpers out, letting out a low groan in satisfaction when he hears Hyunwook mutter curses under his breath before he’s filling Jihoon up. The older cums shortly after when Hyunwook tugs at his hair and calls him a pretty whore or something along those lines. Jihoon can’t really remember with the way his mind was spinning, pleasure overtaking him. 

Jihoon’s laying in bed, relaxed after a short nap following his orgasm, when he notices the younger getting dressed in a rush and eyeing Jihoon oddly – it’s not in his usual horny or concerned manner. He looks nervous. 

“Hyung, was everything okay? Do you feel alright?” Hyunwook asks, roughly tugging his jeans over his legs. His eyes are shifting from Jihoon to the door rapidly. Jihoon follows his gaze to the door in confusion, and that’s when Hyunwook seems to snap out of whatever trance he’s in, finally focusing on Jihoon. 

“Yeah, I feel fine. Are you okay, though? Why are you in such a rush?” The older responds, raising an eyebrow. He notices the way Hyunwook’s actions seem to pause for a second, before the younger is quickly back to picking up the shirt on the floor and tugging it over his head. 

“Look hyung, I had a good time but I need to go. Something came up, I’ll text you later,” he says, not even looking at Jihoon as he tugs his socks onto his feet. Jihoon feels a pang in his heart but he’s not even sure why – all he knows is that something doesn't feel right. For some reason, he feels like Hyunwook is lying to him. The thought doesn’t sit right with Jihoon, knowing Hyunwook has always been nothing but truthful. 

“Hyunwook, did something serious happen? I can go with you,” the older offers, tugging the blanket off and grabbing his shirt, but the younger immediately shakes his head, letting out a sigh. He sounds annoyed. With Jihoon? The shorter is not even sure what to say, wanting to know why Hyunwook is acting like this, but the younger is walking out of Jihoon’s room before the older can even form a response. 

Jihoon huffs in disbelief, quickly tugging on his shirt and some boxers, his legs feeling like jello as he tries to follow after Hyunwook. When he finally catches up to the younger Hyunwook is standing at the front door of Jihoon’s apartment. When he sees Jihoon he lets out a groan, and this time the older can’t help but widen his eyes in astonishment, realizing the younger really is being passive aggressive towards him. 

“Listen hyung, it’s not something you can help with. I’m gonna go now, okay?” The younger huffs out, tugging his shoes over his feet and practically running out of the front door, ignoring Jihoon calling after him. Jihoon wants to run after him, but decides not to, fearing an argument may occur. Besides, it’s not like Hyunwook seems all that willing to talk to Jihoon right now. 

Before Jihoon even knows it, he feels tears welling up in his eyes. He’s not even sure what just happened, Hyunwook has never talked to him so dismissively. Hyunwook has never spoken to Jihoon with anything but care, and the younger is always sure to stay the night after sex, cuddling Jihoon and whispering sweet nothings in his ear as they watch a movie. He tries to calm down, telling himself maybe Hyunwook really did have somewhere to be. A voice at the back of his head reminds him there’s still no excuse for how Hyunwook spoke and behaved towards him. Jihoon can’t help but agree. 

He drinks some cold water and eats a bowl of fruits despite his appetite being nonexistent before sending an “are you okay?” text to Hyunwook. He tucks himself into bed, falling into a dreamless sleep. 

__________

The next morning Jihoon wakes up to a response from Hyunwook. 

Hyunwookie ♡

5:36 am: hyung

5:36 am: let’s break up

5:38 am: i’m sorry

Jihoon feels as if his whole world has just shattered. 

__________

Jihoon

9:21 am: what the fuck

9:21 am: why are you saying this all of a sudden?

9:22 am: is this some sort of fucked up joke?

He paces around his room as he waits for a response. This can’t be real, Hyunwook must be pulling some sick prank. They had sex just last night after an amazing date. Nothing was unusual except the way Hyunwook got up and left. Jihoon feels his stomach sink remembering the way Hyunwook practically ran out while being frustrated with Jihoon. He suddenly feels sick. 

Hyunwookie ♡

9:31 am: i'm not joking i’m sorry

9:31 am: i feel like i just need time to find myself bc im not sure if this relationship is what i need right now 

Jihoon scoffs out loud, he can already feel himself tearing up, his vision getting blurry as he reads the messages while it suddenly feels harder to breathe properly. He can’t believe the words on the screen, but he knows Hyunwook isn’t joking. 

I’m not sure if this relationship is what I need.

I’m not sure if you’re what I need, is Jihoon’s interpretation. He doesn’t see how else Hyunwook could possibly mean that. Jihoon feels like a fucking idiot, basically looking at Hyunwook with hearts in his eyes last night all the while the younger had been thinking of how this relationship was nothing more than a burden. 

He roughly wipes his tears and forces himself to respond, taking deep breaths.

Jihoon

9:33 am: what do you mean time to find yourself

9:33 am: and what do you mean ur not sure if i'm what you need right now? do you even realize how you sound right now?

9:34 am: seriously fuck you

9:35 am: hope you find whatever the fuck it is your looking for since clearly im not it

9:35: don’t ever speak to me again 

you’ve blocked this caller. Tap the screen to unblock. 

Jihoon turns his phone off and lets his tears flow, sobbing into his hands on his bed. 

__________

Jihoon sees posts online five days later about Hyunwook seen leaving the club with a boy. Jihoon zooms in on the photo and notices the boy looks familiar. His eyes are wide and expressive, he has a straight nose, plump lips, and a round face. He’s noticeably shorter than Hyunwook, less bulky than Hyunwook as well. 

The boy looks like he could be Jihoon’s doppelganger. Jihoon wants to chuck his phone across his living room. So you’re willing to sleep with me and people who look like me but you don’t want to date me? 

Whatever, Jihoon decides with the shitty way Hyunwook threw him to the side he doesn’t even want to be in a relationship with Hyunwook. Sure, he still has romantic feelings for Hyunwook – it’s practically impossible to lose those within a week – but Hyunwook’s actions have him wondering if Hyunwook ever even cared for him. Did Jihoon even mean anything to the younger besides from someone he could go to for sex when convenient? He feels like his stomach is twisted in knots at the thought, but with the events leading up to the posts, he can’t help but feel used. 

He finds his sadness morphing into what can only be described as anger. It took less than a full week for Hyunwook to go get drunk and sleep with someone else, all while Jihoon has been sitting in his room moping and crying. Jihoon couldn’t even bring himself to change his lock screen – a photo of him and Hyunwook smiling together – even though it feels like a dagger in his chest every time he has to unlock his phone. 

Fuck this, he can’t help but think. He sends a quick text to Junyoung and Ryeoun, asking them if they’re currently free, smiling a little when they respond a few minutes later letting him know they’re free. He goes to the bathroom and takes a shower – something he had been dragging himself to do, sitting on the shower floor in silence since the breakup. This time he stands up, letting the warm water wash over him, feeling like a warm embrace after all the nonsense he had dealt with. Once he’s done he washes his face and applies some moisturizer. He fixes his hair and puts on a nice outfit before texting the group chat to meet at the bar near Jihoon’s apartment. 

He also changes his lockscreen to a plain black screen. 

– 

He admittedly gets more drunk than he had intended. He knows he sounds extra giggly, knows he leans into Ryeoun and Junyoung embraces more than usual. He’s a clingy drunk, sue him. 

“I told that asshole to never text me again!” He finishes his story, his hands moving in an exaggerated manner while his voice is louder than he intended, but he’s still upset with Hyunwook’s bullshit so he decides it’s justified. Oddly enough, what he experienced is so ridiculous he finds himself laughing when explaining the situation while Ryeoun and Junyoung exchange concerned looks. 

“Jihoon-ah, this all happened just this week? This is fucking crazy. Are you doing okay?” Junyoung asks, his eyebrows furrowed. Ryeoun nods in agreement, his eyes wide in disbelief as he shovels the cheap chips into his mouth. 

“Not really, no. I’m fucking pissed, and sad, these past few days I could barely leave my room, I just sat there fucking crying over that piece of shit,” Jihoon huffs, taking another sip of his drink. “But now – now I’ve decided if he’s fine fucking other random guys I shouldn’t be crying over him! I’m not wasting my time on him anymore, he can fuck whoever he wants, I’m done,” Jihoon finishes before downing the rest of his drink. Ryeoun silently moves his empty cup and replaces it with a cup of water. 

“We’re friends with Hyunwook too, but that doesn’t mean we’ll condone his behaviour. You should live your best life from now on, do what you really want to do. Don’t give him any more space in your mind, he doesn’t matter anymore. Of course there’s some situations with our jobs where you’ll have no choice but to see him, but we’ll make sure we’re there for you if he ever bothers you.” Ryeoun says with a gentle smile, and Jihoon finds himself tearing up, watching as Ryeoun panics at his tears. 

“H-hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I said something wrong. God, why do I always –” 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Jihoon interrupts him, sniffling a bit. “I’m just happy. Even though all this shit is going on, I’m happy to have you guys,” Jihoon responds. At that Ryeoun calms down, a sincere smile taking over as he pulls Jihoon into a hug. 

Junyoung joins the hug as he pats Jihoon on the back, mumbling something about Ryeoun being right. The group hug has Jihoon feeling appreciated in a way he hasn’t ever since he got the texts. 

They stay and hangout a bit more to catch up with one another before eventually exchanging their goodbyes, Jihoon finally feeling genuine happiness for the first time within the week. It almost feels like a warm glow around his heart. He’s giddy as he crawls into his bed. 

He decides to scroll through his phone for a bit before sleeping and sees Ryeoun posted a selfie from their joint hangout, the caption saying pretty jihoonie and cool junyoungie hyung ~~ followed by a heart emoji. The photo shows Jihoon in the middle of both of them, with his cheek squished against Junyoung's shoulder while Ryeoun’s arm is wrapped around his shoulder. 

He smiles to himself, opening the comments to write something when he freezes, the top comment immediately killing his smile. 

_choiiii__: pretty jihoonie

Jihoon feels all the anger from before resurface at a speed that can only be described as inhuman. What the fuck is Hyunwook thinking? Is this supposed to be some sort of joke? Jihoon wonders if the younger just enjoys messing with Jihoon’s head, seeing how far he can push Jihoon. As if that line hasn’t already been crossed.

Jihoon takes a few deep breaths, chalking the comment up to fan service. He’s not stupid, he knows plenty of people ship him and Hyunwook, maybe Hyunwook is just playing into that. Now of all times, he can’t help but think, rolling his eyes. 

He desperately wants to block Hyunwook on Instagram too, but he knows that fans will become suspicious if he no longer follows Hyunwook. Instead he just ignores the comment and Hyunwook’s existence for the sake of his sanity. 

Instead he leaves his own comment under Ryeoun’s post. 

0529.jihoon.ig: my favourite hyungs

0529.jihoon.ig: why does junyoung hyung look so handsome?

He leaves the second comment just to tease Ryeoun, anticipating the whiny reaction when Ryeoun sees the comment. It’s always funny to tease the older, his reactions are always so expressive. 

He smiles to himself, turning his phone off and he falls asleep thinking of his friends, Hyunwook’s comment long forgotten. 

__________

Over the course of the next two months Jihoon spends his time engaging in his hobbies and hanging out with his friends. Initially a lot of it was admittedly as a distraction, but he also finds himself enjoying activities like gaming and practicing cooking. 

He also spends the months putting all of Hyunwook’s belongings in a box, along with photos of Hyunwook and gifts from Hyunwook. It’s a lot – as Hyunwook was always showering him with presents and asking to take photos together – but he manages to get most of it. If Jihoon is being honest, it does hurt when he looks back at everything, reminiscing on what they had and how he doesn’t even know how much of it was real. Despite that, he still can’t bring himself to throw the box away. Instead he keeps it at the back of his closet, deciding he’ll throw it away when he feels ready. 

Today especially, Jihoon doesn’t feel ready. Tonight there’s a dinner for the cast to celebrate the finishing of filming Weak Hero Class 2. They had actually finished filming around two weeks before Hyunwook broke up with Jihoon, but due to differences in all of their schedules a dinner wasn’t possible until now. 

Which means Jihoon will have to face Hyunwook now. 

He wants to scream in frustration, but he composes himself. He reminds himself to be mature – he and Hyunwook are the main leads of this show. He’s gonna have to interact with the younger whether he likes it or not. He also needs to make sure not to step out of line because no one in the cast except Ryeoun and Junyoung are aware of the breakup, and he really doesn’t feel like making the atmosphere awkward when everyone is finally gathering together. Besides, Ryeoun and Junyoung told him they’d be there for him in case Hyunwook bothers him – he doubts the younger will, but it’s good to have people there for him just in case. 

He can do this. He’s got this. Everything will be okay. 

He repeats those three affirmations in his mind the entire drive to the restaurant. Jihoon still doesn’t feel very convinced. 

–

It turns out he had good reasons to not be convinced, as the cast goes out of their way to allow Jihoon and Hyunwook to sit next to each other, making remarks about how they know the two can’t live without each other or how they’re both attached at the hip. If only they knew how much things had changed.

Jihoon keeps telling them they don’t have to, because really they don’t have to – there’s no reason to anymore – but they disregard his words. Junyoung thankfully sits on his right though, while Hyunwook is on his left. Ryeoun is also fortunately right across from him. He decides this is fine, he’ll just focus his attention on those two while pretending like he isn’t aware of Hyunwook’s existence. 

Jihoon has to admit, when Hyunwook sits down next to him a mixture of emotions swirl through him. Something between being nervous, angry, and even the love he still feels for Hyunwook – no matter how hard he tries to repress it. He hates how his heart still skips a beat when he looks at Hyunwook’s face. 

He sighs, pouring himself a shot of soju and downing it. This is going to be a long night. 

In the midst of his moping, Ryeoun taps him on his hand, a pout on the older’s face. Jihoon raises an eyebrow in question. Is Ryeoun trying to check in on him? Jihoon appreciates the gesture however he’s just a little frustrated, otherwise he’s fine. 

“Y’know, I’m still mad you commented calling Junyoung handsome but not me. I looked good in that photo, admit it!” The remark catches Jihoon so off guard he finds himself letting out a surprised laugh, one much louder than expected. He covers his smile shyly, still giggling as Ryeoun continues to look offended. Turns out the “heartfelt check-in” that Jihoon was anticipating was actually a complaint over an Instagram comment from months ago. The ridiculousness of the situation makes Jihoon laugh.

Junyoung laughs next to him, “dude, it’s been like two months, move on already. Besides, we all know I’m more of Jihoon’s type, he told me he likes tall guys,” he teases back, winking at Jihoon whose face turns beet red at being exposed. 

“I’m tall, I’m literally way taller than Jihoon,” Ryeoun fires back, and Jihoon wonders why this has suddenly turned into a competition of who is more his type. He just shakes his head at his friends’ antics, pouring himself another shot. 

“Okay and I’m taller than you are, that makes me more his type,” Junyoung responds immaturely and Ryeoun groans, muttering something about his and Jihoon’s personalities matching more. 

“You guys can both date me, I’ll have two boyfriends and dress them like twins,” Jihoon replies with a deadpan expression while Ryeoun and Junyoung lose their minds at his response, with Ryeoun saying he could outshine Junyoung in every outfit. Junyoung rolls his eyes, throwing a piece of lettuce at Ryeoun who just picks it up and eats it. 

Jihoon laughs to himself at their conversation, but his laugh quiets down when he notices Ryeoun very blatantly staring at Hyunwook while chewing on his lettuce. Ryeoun looks around nervously for a moment before turning back to Junyoung, asking if the older will be posting more dancing videos soon. 

Jihoon turns to face Hyunwook and is stumped at the look on the younger’s face. His eyebrows are furrowed and his jaw is clenched, his hand is gripping his soju glass so tightly Jihoon’s almost afraid the younger might shatter the thing. 

It takes a moment for Hyunwook to notice Jihoon’s dumbfounded expression, but when he does he meets Jihoon’s eyes with such intensity that Jihoon finds himself immediately turning away, looking back towards the table instead.

What the fuck was that about? He can’t help but wonder, shoving some tteokbokki in his mouth so he can pretend to have a reason to avoid Hyunwook’s eyes. 

When he’s about to turns back to continue talking to Junyoung and Ryeoun, he hears Soomin – the director – calling the two over to monitor a scene from the show that the two acted out particularly well. Jihoon offers to come monitor with them, but Soomin insists that Jihoon should sit and enjoy his meal, winking as he nods towards Hyunwook, despite Jihoon’s insistence that a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. 

He groans, maybe it would’ve been better to just rip the bandaid off and let everyone know they’ve broken up, because now he’s stuck at the table with no one but Hyunwook near him. Everyone else is at the far end of the table or are busy crowding around the scene that Soomin is playing. Ryeoun looks over his shoulder and shoots Jihoon an apologetic look but the younger just smiles, hoping it conveys that he’s fine. For now at least.

He starts poking and prodding at his tteokbokki once again when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He feels his blood run cold, not even wanting to turn around. What on earth could the younger possibly want? He desperately wants to just ignore him. He does for a moment but feels Hyunwook tap him again. He groans. 

Be Mature, he reminds himself, before turning around to face Hyunwook, ignoring the way his heart beats faster once he finally gets a good look at the younger. 

“Is there something you need?” he asks, his voice sounding more biting than he anticipated. So much for being mature.

“Hyung, can we talk? Like away from here?” Hyunwook asks, pointing towards the back way that leads to the bathrooms. Jihoon huffs, taking a sip of his soju. 

“We can talk here,” the older responds, not even making eye contact with Hyunwook as he’s reaching for the tteokbokki again, but the younger pushes the plate out of his reach. Jihoon feels his eye twitch. “What the hell is your issue?” Jihoon asks, looking at Hyunwook once again. He almost lets out a groan in frustration – his plan was to be cordial, not pick a fight with Hyunwook for fucks sake. It’s not like the younger’s behaviour is helping. 

“Can we go now?” Hyunwook asks, raising an eyebrow. His voice sounds deep amongst the noise of the restaurant and Jihoon only sighs. He knows Hyunwook is just going to be more and more persistent, and the last thing Jihoon wants is to make a scene. 

“Fine, just make it quick,” the older mumbles out, he feels Hyunwook’s hand wrap around Jihoon’s arm to guide him to the back way. Jihoon groans, pulling his arm away from Hyunwook’s reach, “I can walk there just fine,” the older states, his voice sounding ice cold. 

“Sorry. I guess it’s an old habit,” Hyunwook replies as he moves his hand around before just deciding to run it through his hair as the two make their way to the private area of the restaurant. Hyunwook gestures at Jihoon to go inside the men’s bathroom, and the older considers arguing again but decides he’ll get out of this conversation faster if he just complies for now. 

The bathroom is a single stall bathroom, and Jihoon watches as Hyunwook locks the door behind them.  

“Why’d you lock the door?” Jihoon asks when Hyunwook leans back against the door while Jihoon is in front of the sink. Jihoon hates that he finds it attractive. 

“You’ve been close with Junyoung hyung and Ryeoun hyung lately,” Hyunwook replies, completely ignoring Jihoon’s question. Jihoon huffs. If the older smoked he’d probably be in need of a cigarette right now. 

“What’s it to you?” Jihoon responds, looking Hyunwook in the eyes. The younger just smirks, attempting to look like he doesn’t care but Jihoon can tell from his eyes that he’s upset. Jihoon finds that he likes knowing he has the control to make Hyunwook mad.

“I liked the photo Ryeoun hyung posted. You looked really pretty, hyung,” Hyunwook responds, once again ignoring Jihoon’s question. The older can feel himself getting more upset but forces himself to calm down. He shouldn’t give in to whatever Hyunwook is trying to do here. 

“I know I looked good, that’s why I let Ryoeun post it. Now I’m asking you again, why did you ask me to come to the bathroom?” Jihoon asks, moving closer to Hyunwook. He watches as the younger just continues to stare at Jihoon, his head thrown back against the door. Jihoon’s gaze involuntarily shifts to the younger’s neck before he directs his attention back to Hyunwook’s face. When he looks back at Hyunwook, the taller already has a cocky, knowing smirk on his face. Fuck. 

“I mean it when I left the comment. You looked really pretty,” is all Hyunwook responds with and Jihoon feels the last string of patience within him snap. 

“Why are you doing this to me?” the older asks while moving forward before he can even stop himself. He curses himself for blurting it out, but Hyunwook really is pushing his buttons.

The younger raises an eyebrow, “What do you mean? I just –” 

“You broke up with me. Get that through your head. Stop playing these fucking games,” Jihoon hisses out, stepping right up to Hyunwook and grasping the taller by the collar of his shirt. 

“I know what I did hyung, but I also miss you, hyung. Don’t you miss me too?” Hyunwook asks, looking down at Jihoon while seeming completely unbothered by the grip the shorter has on his shirt. 

“Yeah, you sure missed me. You were out clubbing a few days later with some guy that looks like my fucking twin. You must’ve missed me a lot that night, huh?” Jihoon bites out sarcastically to distract from his own heartache, the alcohol making him more brave with his words. Yeah, I missed you. So fucking much. So much it hurt. Hyunwook tilts his head. 

“You saw that?” the younger asks, sounding bored, “I was just having fun with my friends, it wasn’t anything serious,” Hyunwook responds. 

“Glad you found time to have fun after breaking my heart. Was that all that I was to you as well, just some fun?” Jihoon asks, and Hyunwook huffs, his eyebrows furrowing. Jihoon pretends not to notice the way Hyunwook’s angry expression only serves to make the older feel things he really should not be feeling in a serious situation. 

“Why are you suddenly saying this type of shit? It doesn’t matter. After all, you were out with Junyoung hyung and Ryeoun hyung at a bar so I guess we’re even,” Hyunwook replies, his voice laced with agitation. I only went out to get over you, asshole, Jihoon thinks. He doesn’t tell the younger that though, deciding he’s revealed enough of his feelings for one day.

“What exactly are we even in? There’s nothing going on between us to be taking score of. Just go find that doppelganger again and spend your time whispering my name into his ears again. I don’t have time for this shit,” Jihoon huffs, finally tugging his hands off of Hyunwook’s collar. He’s about to push the taller aside and make his way out the bathroom when Hyunwook abruptly turns Jihoon around and pins the shorter against the door. Jihoon lets out a surprised gasp as his back hits the door. The proximity and position has Jihoon’s ears turning red, more than familiar with the feeling of being cornered by Hyunwook in the best way possible. However, that was before and this is now. 

And yet, Jihoon can’t still find it in him to push Hyunwook off. He also can’t stop the way he embarrassingly finds himself filled with what can only be described as want. 

“I didn’t fuck him,” Hyunwook states, continuing when he sees the look of surprise on Jihoon’s face. “I just couldn’t,” he finishes, providing no other context but Jihoon understands it just the same. I couldn’t, because he wasn’t you. He hates that he likes it. 

But he’s also getting increasingly, embarrassingly horny and the alcohol in his system has him ready to make stupid decisions. It’s been so long since he’s seen Hyunwook and he hates the way the close proximity makes him ache with desire. 

“Hyunwook, come here,” the older commands, his voice sounding huskier than usual while his eyes are carefully trained on Hyunwook. When the younger takes a careful step closer, Jihoon grabs him by his collar and pulls him in for a kiss. 

Hyunwook lets out a small shocked sound before he’s immediately kissing back, his hands finding their way around the back of Jihoon’s neck. He kisses Jihoon like his life depends on it, with so much fervour that Jihoon finds himself gasping for breath when Hyunwook breaks away. The younger roughly pulls down the collar of Jihoon’s shirt so his neck is exposed, and starts sucking bruises into the older’s skin, listening to Jihoon pant louder and louder as the older buries his hand in Hyunwook’s hair. Jihoon tugs at the younger’s hair and it only serves to rile the younger up more, his lips breaking away from Jihoon’s neck and instead peppering kisses along Jihoon’s jaw, listening to the way the older whimpers.

Hyunwook finally breaks off the kisses, leaving one finally kiss on the younger’s lips. The kiss is soft and tender in the midst of the lust and anger, and Jihoon finds it affects him more than any of Hyunwook’s other actions that night. He caresses Jihoon’s face while the older looks up at him, eyes wide. “Gonna take care of you, hyung,” is all the younger says before he’s manhandling Jihoon, positioning him so that the older is bent over the sink. Jihoon can feel his face burning at the embarrassing position, wanting to tell Hyunwook off but the younger shushes him. “Don’t be embarrassed, hyung. Just look at your pretty face in the mirror while I take care of you, okay?” the younger asks, tugging Jihoon’s hair so the older is forced to look at himself in the mirror. Holy shit, Jihoon can’t help but think. 

His hair is a mess, his face is burning red, and his neck is covered in red splotches –  the telltale sign of eventual bruising. He whimpers and looks downwards, but Hyunwook’s rough grip on his hair only pulls his head back up, Jihoon letting out a whine as he’s made to look at himself. Seeing himself in this state is humiliating, however it only serves to turn him on further, his cock leaking shamefully in his pants. 

“What’s the matter, hyung? You look good. You always look so fucking pretty, but I think I like you best when you’re like this, for no one else but me to see,” the younger replies, his voice sounding rougher than usual at the last part. 

Jihoon wants to reply, to somehow preserve the little dignity he has left, when Hyunwook is suddenly releasing the grip he has on the shorter’s hair before unbuttoning the older’s pants and pulling them down in a swift motion. Jihoon lets out a yelp in surprise when the younger puts his hand down Jihoon’s boxers, his warm hand wrapping around Jihoon’s hard cock. The older lets out a loud whine at the stimulation, feeling his cock leak in Hyunwook’s hand. He hears the younger let out a mocking laugh next to his ear, and he wants to bury his face in his hands but he knows Hyunwook will only yank his head right back up. 

“Hyung, you’re so cute. Pretending to be mad when you’re leaking like this. It’s okay, baby. You can pretend to be mad now, I know it’ll only last up until you’re finally getting fucked, you’re always so pliant when you have my cock in you. I guess that’s all it takes for you to behave, huh?” the younger says with a laugh, and Jihoon is so embarrassed beyond words, turning to glare at Hyunwook but the younger only tuts, pushing Jihoon’s head up against the mirror so his cheek is squished against the glass. 

Hyunwook pulls the older’s boxers down, before he grabs one of Jihoon’s legs, holding it up against the edge of the sink while Jihoon is arched forwards. The position gives Hyunwook easier access to properly fuck Jihoon, and the older is so humiliated from the way Hyunwook has him spread open in a public bathroom in combination with the younger’s words he feels like he could fucking cry. 

Hyunwook places a hand on Jihoon’s back to hold the older in position while he uses his other hand to grab the small packet of lube out of his pocket, tearing it open with his teeth. Jihoons wants to roll his eyes, of course you just have that on you. 

“I’m supposed to believe you haven’t been with anyone else when you just carry that shit around? Make sure you use condoms,” Jihoon huffs out, trying his best not to sound overly jealous. He doesn’t have that right. He shifts his gaze to Hyunwook and watches as the younger’s face falls. 

“We’ve never used condoms before,” the younger states, oblivious while sounding hurt for whatever reason. Jihoon groans, do I really have to spell everything out? 

“ We were dating then. We were exclusive, and now we’re not. I don’t care if you say you haven’t fucked anyone, just use a condom,” Jihoon huffs, ignoring how Hyunwook is still looking at him with that hurt expression. “Now hurry up and fuck me. My legs are starting to hurt,” he grumbles, averting his gaze away from Hyunwook again. 

He feels the younger’s hand leave his back and both his hands are finally on Jihoon’s ass, and Jihoon arches impossibly further to make sure Hyunwook can properly stretch him. He hears Hyunwook groan out a loud whisper of “fuck ” and tries not to smirk, happy with the effect he has on the younger. The younger circles his rim with a lubed finger before carefully inserting his finger past the tight ring of the older’s hole, and Jihoon lets out a pathetic whimper, urging Hyunwook to move. The younger slowly thrusts his finger in the smaller’s hole, appreciating the pants Jihoon lets out at the feeling. 

When he decides the older is ready, he carefully adds a second finger, causing the older to let out a loud groan in pleasure. Hyunwook is making scissoring motions with his fingers as Jihoon leans his head against the mirror, letting out little whimpers while his grip on the sink gets stronger. 

“H-Hyunwook, you can add another finger,” Jihoon says, his voice sounding airy and barely above a whisper. The younger obeys, adding in a third finger and Jihoon lets out a gasp which turns into a moan as Hyunwook begins thrusting his fingers in, stretching Jihoon out. The younger’s fingers are longer and thicker than Jihoon’s fingers, and the difference is definitely noticeable –  Jihoon knows when he fingers himself he can’t reach the places Hyunwook is easily able to reach. It leaves him trembling, wanting more. 

Hyunwook abruptly pulls his fingers out, letting out a small laugh at the loud whine Jihoon lets out, the older turning his head to glare at Hyunwook. “Baby, just wait a second. So impatient, aren’t you? Such a brat, but it’s okay. I know hyung won’t be able to keep that attitude up once he’s getting fucked,” Hyunwook hums as he applies lube to his cock, and before Jihoon can begin to reply Hyunwook pushes his cock in, snickering at the gutteral moan that leaves Jihoon’s mouth. 

The older’s grip instinctively tightens around the sink as he leans his head against the mirror, watching as it fogs up as he pants against it when Hyunwook pushes his cock in deeper. Jihoon feels one of Hyunwook’s hands wrap firmly around Jihoon’s leg that’s hiked up on the sink while the other hand circles around the older’s neck, not tight enough to choke him but firm enough to hold the smaller in place. The position and Hyunwook’s firm grip holding him in place has Jihoon’s cock leaking. 

Once Jihoon has adjusted he mumbles out a “move”, whimpering when Hyunwook begins thrusting. The younger’s pacing is already rough, and Jihoon knows he’d be sliding up with each thrust if Hyunwook wasn’t holding him in place. The thought turns him on more than he’d like to admit. 

“H-Hyunwook, it feels so fucking good, fuck. You feel so good,” Jihoon whimpers out, feeling himself go delirious with the way he’s unable to focus on just one sensation – the grip around his neck, Hyunwook’s breath right next to his ear, the rough thrusts – everything is overwhelming in the best possible way. 

“Hyung, you look so pretty right now, c’mon, look at yourself,” Hyunwook prompts, and Jihoon lifts his head to look in the mirror. He sees his own face – red, covered in a sheen sweat, and his eyes are already looking teary. The sight is embarrassing so Jihoon decides to look at Hyunwook’s reflection in the mirror. Jihoon notices the way the younger’s eyes are hooded and focused on Jihoon. Jihoon can tell Hyunwook’s looking at him with an overwhelming amount of lust, but there’s also something else lurking there. The older decides he doesn’t want to assign a name to what he thinks it may be. They make eye contact in the mirror and Hyunwook gives him a cocky smile. Jihoon hates that his heart flutters at the sight. 

Jihoon breaks eye contact, opting to close his eyes. Jihoon lets himself get held in place like a doll, getting fucked roughly while Hyunwook’s thrusts into him with his eyebrows furrowed, focusing on finding Jihoon’s prostate. The younger angles his hips and grins in triumph when Jihoon lets out a startled gasp, his back arching as he almost loses his grip on the sink. 

Jihoon is letting out louder and louder whimpers and whines, moans of “fuck, fuck”  leaving his lips as Hyunwook continues to hit his prostate, and the younger debates covering the older’s mouth due to the public setting, but decides against it. 

“Look at you hyung, so fucking loud. It’s almost like you want everyone waiting out there to here us. Want Junyoung hyung and Ryeoun hyung to see you like this? They think you’re pretty, don’t they? Bet they’d love this sight. Bet you’d like having them here too,” Hyunwook asks, and although the younger tries to hide it behind dirty talk, Jihoon can hear the anger in his voice. 

Jihoon just hums, a smirk on his lips as he looks up to make eye contact with the younger in the mirror. “Who says they haven’t already seen it?” he asks, and watches as the younger’s gaze sharpens, a scoff leaving his lips before he’s tightening his grip on Jihoon’s neck, properly choking the smaller. Fuck, this is what Jihoon was waiting for. 

“Hyung, you’re so fucking full of shit. If you want to get choked and thrown around just say it, we both already know it’s true. We both know you like getting fucked like a whore, but doesn’t mean you have to act like one too,” Hyunwook bites out, listening to the pathetic sounds Jihoon lets out as he gets choked before the younger finally lets go, leaving the older panting for air. 

The older’s voice is raspy, clearly sounding roughed up when he responds, “It’s been a while since we broke up, Hyunwook. I’ve found ways to get my fill during that time,” he leaves out the part that the fill in question is his right hand and some sex toys, wanting to rile Hyunwook up. 

His words have the intended effect, with Hyunwook’s hand moving from Jihoon’s neck to his hair, yanking it harshly as he groans. “You fucking slut. It’s been two months and you’ve already found some new guy, huh? Or should I say guys? It’s okay, hyung. I’ll remind you of who you really belong to,” Hyunwook spits out, removing his grip from Jihoon’s hair and finally wrapping his hand around Jihoon’s cock, tutting when the smaller wails and tries to move away from the stimulation. 

Jihoon can only let out a quiet sob, practically thrashing in Hyunwook’s hold when the younger strokes his cock, and even when he removes his hand from the sink to try and yank Hyunwook’s hand off he finds that Hyunwook’s strength easily overpowers Jihoon’s flimsy efforts – the younger’s hand not even budging. Jihoon’s cock leaks more. 

“Look at you, hyung. Leaking everywhere, making a mess on the sink. You talked a whole lot before, but you can barely get a word out now. I told you I’d deal with that attitude of yours, always so bratty up until you get what you really need. Guess what, hyung? I’m the only one who knows what you really need. Not Junyoung hyung, not Ryeoun hyung, not some fucking asshole at the club, only me,” Hyunwook says, practically hissing it in Jihoon’s ear and Jihoon can’t help the loud sob that rips out of his throat as he cums, his back arching while his cum hits the sink and mirror. He hears Hyunwook let out a groan at the sight, the younger’s hips stuttering and Jihoon can feel the taller cumming too. 

Jihoon can only let out loud pants, trying to catch his breath while his eyes are scrunched closed. His ears are ringing and his brain feels like mush as he tries to compose himself. He feels Hyunwook pulling out and lets out a quiet whine. The younger pulls out and puts his pants and boxers back on, throwing the condom away before shushing Jihoon with a soft kiss, the older reciprocates – or well tries his best to reciprocate. Jihoon is so out of it, he’s barely able to kiss back so he’s primarily just panting into Hyunwook’s mouth. The younger doesn’t seem to mind though, smiling as he breaks the kiss to leave a quick peck on Jihoon’s cheek. 

Jihoon finally opens his eyes when he feels Hyunwook wipe off the excess lube around his hole and lets out a small whimper while Hyunwook whispers out a quiet apology. Once the younger deems it clean enough he helps the older pull his boxers and pants back up. Jihoon tries to move back from the sink but his legs buckle, thankfully Hyunwook grabs onto the smaller’s waist in time to prevent Jihoon from falling. Hyunwook keeps his grip on Jihoon’s waist, helping the older walk over to where the toilet is. Hyunwook closes the toilet lid and sits down on top of it before placing Jihoon in his lap.

 It’s not exactly the most ideal place or romantic place to be seated but Jihoon understands that the younger just wants him to be able to relax for a moment before he attempts to walk all the way back to the rest of the cast members. Jihoon smiles at the thought, snuggling closer to Hyunwook without even realizing it. 

It’s silent for a moment before Hyunwook finally speaks, “Hyung, are you feeling okay? I wasn’t too rough, was I?” he asks, a hint of worry lacing his voice. Jihoon’s not sure if his head is still in the clouds or something from his orgasm, but he just can’t help but find Hyunwook cute. 

However, he also knows that once he snaps out of whatever state he’s currently in, he needs to draw a line. 

“You were fine. I feel good, it felt really good,” he responds, and the bathroom is quiet once again. He sighs, allowing himself to relax in the silence for a minute before he finally stands up, turning to face Hyunwook. “Hyunwook, this was nice, but this can’t happen again,” he states, ignoring the way Hyunwook’s confused expression causes a twinge in his heart. 

“What do you mean, hyung? You just said you enjoyed it. Why are you suddenly switching up like this? Did I do something wrong?” Hyunwook asks, and Jihoon groans. Yeah you did do something wrong, you broke up with me over text you asshole.  

“Hyunwook, we’re not dating. We can’t just fuck like this. It’s not even an issue of casual hookups –  I don’t give a shit about anyone having those, but there’s just too much between us for me to ignore and I can’t treat this as a casual hookup.” Jihoon finishes, watching as Hyunwook’s expression is downcast, his head turned to the ground as he nods without looking at Jihoon. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Hyunwook replies, but it sounds half-hearted. Jihoon pretends he doesn’t notice. 

“Yeah. I’m gonna head back now. Who knows how long we’ve been gone,” Jihoon states and doesn’t wait for Hyunwook’s reply before walking off and joining the dinner again, mumbling something about a “long line to the bathroom” when Ryeoun and Junyoung ask him where he was. 

Hyunwook returns a few moments later, but he doesn’t sit down. Jihoon watches through the windows of the building as the younger walks out of the restaurant and lights a cigarette, bringing it to his lips and closing his eyes as he exhales. 

Jihoon goes back to poking and prodding at the now cold tteokboki, pretending like he doesn’t know exactly what has Hyunwook stressed when Ryeoun points Hyunwook’s behaviour out. 

__________

Jihoon finds that staying true to his words is more difficult than expected. 

For starters, since that night Jihoon can’t stop thinking of Hyunwook. He constantly remembers the way Hyunwook’s hands felt on his body and the words the younger had said to him. He’s jerked off a humiliating amount of times since then.  

He thought that sleeping with Hyunwook would get rid of whatever itch had overtaken him in the restaurant bathroom, but it turns out the sex had only made it significantly worse. Now, less than appropriate thoughts about Hyunwook have taken over damn near every corner of his mind. 

He groans, rubbing his hands over his face in exasperation. Why is everything always going awry? 

He’s in the midst of moping when his phone starts ringing next to him, nearly making Jihoon jump right out of his own skin. He picks up the phone in agitation, ready to chew out whoever is on the other side of the line but calms down when he sees Ryeoun hyung written on his screen. 

He picks up the phone, trying to keep his voice composed, making sure he sounds like he didn’t just get scared by the phone because he was distracted thinking about fucking his ex, “Hey, hyung.”

“Jihoon-ah, how are you doing? I wanted to check up and make sure you weren’t too affected by the news,” Ryeoun says, his voice sounding soft, like he’s trying to make sure Jihoon won’t burst into tears or something. Jihoon raises an eyebrow in confusion. 

“What news, hyung? I’m not really sure what you’re talking about,” Jihoon admits, his confusion bleeding into his voice. He hears Ryeoun take a shaky breath in over the line. 

“Oh, I wasn’t aware you hadn’t seen it. I’m sorry,” Ryeoun replies and yet he still isn’t telling Jihoon what the matter is. 

“Hyung, just tell me what it is, please. You’re worrying me,” Jihoon responds and he hears Ryeoun let out a small sigh, as if he doesn’t want to say the words. 

“Well, there was an article out. Apparently Hyunwook is dating some rookie actress? It might be fake though, you know how the media is. I know it hasn’t been that long since you two broke up, that’s why I wanted to make sure you’re alright. I didn’t know you hadn’t seen it. I’m sorry,” Ryeoun finishes. 

Jihoon takes in a breath, “It’s not your fault, hyung. I’ll be fine. Thanks for calling me though, I’ll let you know if I need anything,” he adds, just because he knows Ryeoun always wants to be there when necessary. 

“Of course, goodnight Jihoon,” Ryeoun responds and Jihoon bids him goodnight before hanging up. Jihoon takes a deep breath, trying his best not to throw his phone across the room. Did that night at the restaurant mean nothing to Hyunwook? It was only two weeks ago, for fucks sake. Yet, Hyunwook was already dating someone? Besides, they’d only broken up around two months ago, and yet Hyunwook had moved on so fast? 

Jihoon feels a sharp twist in his gut at the thought, but he ignores it. He unlocks his phone and searches Hyunwook’s name on naver. Sure enough, the articles are already there. 

ACTOR CHOI HYUNWOOK SEEN OUT WITH ROOKIE ACTRESS LEE YOONA

Rising star Choi Hyunwook (23) was recently seen out at a restaurant with the rookie actress Lee Yoona (24). The two sat and had a candle-lit dinner, as reported by our journalist, Kim Donghyun. As seen in the images attached, the two exchanged some flirty smiles and glances! Could this be the start of something new? . . . 

The article rambles on – click-baity as ever – but Jihoon can’t bring himself to look away. He scrolls down the article and looks at the attached images. He sees Hyunwook in a dress-shirt while Yoona is in a pretty dress. They’re smiling at each other, some photos even showing the two full-on laughing. Hyunwook looks happy. Jihoon swallows the lump in his throat before he reads the comments under the article. 

(+1456, -100): they look so cute together, they suit each other. 

(+1340, -50): Fighting! <3

(+1255, -400): I thought choi hyunwook liked guys??? maybe he’s bi 

(+600, -250): am i the only person who saw the pics of him outside the club with some guy who looked like park jihoon??? this costar crush, shibal. hyunwook + jihoon fighting! 

> (+500, -300): hyunwook oppa and jihoon oppa are not gay!!!

(+510, -25): they could just be preparing for a drama or something together. 

Jihoon turns his phone off, rolling his eyes at the comments. He knows that he shouldn't be bothering to look at the comments, but he can’t help it. It’s a guilty pleasure he always feeds into. 

He puts his phone on silent before he starts heading over to the kitchen for dinner – at nearly midnight, but that’s besides the point. He decides to just eat some leftover kimbap and maybe order something off a delivery app when his doorbell rings. He pauses next to the fridge, wondering who in their right mind is outside his apartment door at this hour. 

He knows his apartment security is pretty good, but he grabs a knife from the kitchen as he approaches the peephole, just in case. He looks into the peephole and damn near drops his knife to the floor when he sees Hyunwook standing outside. 

What the fuck does the younger want? And at this hour? Has he lost his mind? 

Jihoon sighs, putting the knife back in his drawer before walking over to the front door and opening it with an exasperated expression. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He asks before Hyunwook can even get a word out. The younger is wearing an oversized grey hoodie and some matching sweats. He has on a pair of black sneakers – ones that Jihoon gifted him – and his hair is a little messy. He stands there, taking in deep breaths as if he had just run up the stairs. Maybe he did, his mind supplies, but Jihoon ignores it. 

“Hyung . . . I”m sorry for being here so late. I was gonna text you this but I realized I’m still blocked. The thing is, I just wanted you to know that the articles aren’t true. I’m not dating her. She’s just a co-star for a drama I’m gonna be in, that’s it. My company won’t put out a statement because they said it’s good if it gets people talking,” Hyunwook says, his sentence rushed as he trips over his words and Jihoon hates how the clarification actually alleviates something within him. 

“Why are you telling me this? We’re not dating anymore, you don’t owe me any explanations,” Jihoon responds, the tight feeling in his chest returning at his own words. You didn’t owe me an explanation, and yet I still felt like I needed it. You didn’t owe me one and yet you still rushed over here, why?

“I know, but for some reason I just felt like I needed you to know,” Hyunwook responds, looking the older in the eyes. Jihoon sees the many emotions swirling in the younger’s eyes, but he pretends not to notice. “Can I come in?” Hyunwook asks, and Jihoon wants to say no, but he knows he doesn’t have it in him, pathetic as ever against Hyunwook. Instead he nods as he steps aside, watching as Hyunwook looks around his apartment while walking over to the couch. 

Hyunwook sits down on the couch, basically manspreading in his spot. Jihoon hates how his mind immediately shifts to thoughts of sitting on the younger’s lap. He does no such thing, sitting next to Hyunwook instead. 

“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Jihoon asks, watching as Hyunwook shakes his head. 

“I’m good, hyung. I just needed to tell you something,” Hyunwook responds, he doesn’t wait for Jihoon’s response as he continues, “ever since that night at the restaurant, I can’t stop thinking about you. I know that you said it’s a bad idea, but please just be honest with me hyung, haven’t you thought of me since then?” Hyunwook asks, leaning forward and turning so that Jihoon is cornered in his spot on the couch. Jihoon feels his heart beating faster at the close contact and at the question. Fuck, if only Hyunwook knew how much Jihoon had thought of him since they last fucked. 

Jihoon decides there’s no point in lying, “I have. A lot,” he responds and watches as a triumphant smile overtakes the younger’s face as he begins to lean in closer to Jihoon. Jihoon has to hold back what would’ve otherwise been an embarrassing gasp when Hyunwook leans closer and manhandles Jihoon right onto his lap. Jihoon glares from his spot while Hyunwook wraps his hands around Jihoon’s thin waist. 

“Hyunwook, I also said it was a bad idea,” Jihoon points out, but even he knows his heart is not really in it when he says that because fuck Hyunwook has been on his mind for the last two weeks and now he really just wants to get fucked until he forgets his own name. 

“Just this once, hyung,” Hyunwook replies, and both of them know that’s a damn lie but Jihoon leans down anyways, his lips meeting Hyunwook’s lips in a sloppy kiss while his arms are behind Hyunwook’s neck. 

He feels Hyunwook smirk against his lips when they kiss, and Jihoon can’t help but wonder if this is the goal Hyunwook had in mind when he came over to Jihoon’s apartment. The older finds he doesn’t mind – Jihoon got exactly what he wanted, a confirmation that Hyunwook hadn’t moved on and Hyunwook’s hands on his body. 

Jihoon bites and licks at Hyunwook’s lips, and the younger gladly allows Jihoon to rough him up, letting Jihoon’s hands wander and tug at the taller’s hair. Jihoon kisses the younger like he’s been starved of Hyunwook – and to be fair, he sure feels like he has. 

When Jihoon finally pulls back to break the kiss, there’s a string of spit still connecting their lips. Hyunwook’s eyes are fully focused on it, so Jihoon leans forward and swipes his thumb across Hyunwook’s lip to break it off. He resists the urge to lean over and kiss Hyunwook again. 

Hyunwook’s eyes are still trained carefully on him, so the smaller makes a show of slowly crawling off of Hyunwook’s lap, sitting in the space on the floor between Hyunwook’s spread legs. He rests his head against Hyunwook’s thigh, looking up with that look in his eyes he knows Hyunwook always goes crazy over.

“Hyunwookie, can I suck you off?” he asks, with an exaggerated puff of his lips, watching as the taller’s ears visibly turn red and Hyunwook looks at him in disbelief. 

“H-hyung, I thought you wouldn’t want to do anything oral since you had us use condoms last time –”

“I knew then that you hadn’t fucked anyone, okay? But if you have something to say you better say it now before my mouth is on your dick,” Jihoon says with a huff, and Hyunwook lets out a small laugh at Jihoon’s straightforward attitude.  

“I promise hyung, I haven’t fucked anyone since we broke up. I’m clean,” Hyunwook states and Jihoon nods in acknowledgement, getting all he needed to hear. The triumphant feeling over Hyunwook not having slept with anyone else is definitely an added bonus. 

He leans forward and helps Hyunwook shimmy down his sweats so that the taller is just left in his hoodie and boxers. Jihoon leans forward, licking over the print of Hyunwook’s cock in the younger’s boxers. He hears the taller’s breath hitch and he smirks to himself in satisfaction, licking and kissing over Hyunwook’s boxers again just to hear the way Hyunwook’s breath hitches. 

Jihoon tugs at the band of Hyunwook’s boxers, and the younger takes the hint, slightly lifting his hips so Jihoon can tug his boxers down. Jihoon’s met with the younger’s cock nearly slapping him in the face so he leans forward and grips the base of Hyunwook’s cock and slaps it against the side of his own cheek. He looks up at Hyunwook as he does it just to see the way Hyunwook’s eyes widen at the sight with his breath simultaneously hitching. The younger is so predictable. Jihoon revels in knowing all the ways to have an effect on the taller. 

Jihoon leans forward and kisses the tip of the taller’s cock, licking and kissing around the tip before messily making his way down Hyunwook’s cock – licking and kissing his cock with far too much spit but not actually sucking his dick. He feels Hyunwook’s hand tug on his hair while the younger is letting out small pants. 

“H-hyung, please. Stop teasing,” Hyunwook says and his voice is practically a whine. The sound is like music to Jihoon’s ears. He loves being taken apart by Hyunwook, but he also loves being the one taking Hyunwook apart. 

Jihoon lets out an exaggerated sigh after he pulls his lips away from Hyunwook’s cock.  “Who says I’m teasing? I just missed this, but since you’re so impatient I can give you what you want,” he replies before sinking down on the younger’s cock, taking Hyunwook in his mouth all at once and feeling the tip of Hyunwook’s cock at the back of his throat. 

He hears Hyunwook let out a strangled gasp, the younger’s eyes wider than ever as his grip on Jihoon’s hair grows near painful but Jihoon can’t bring himself to care. He works his way on Hyunwook’s cock, looking up at the younger from his spot between his legs and he knows exactly what he looks like with his wide teary eyes and pink face as he tries his best not to choke on the taller’s dick, breaking off occasionally to breathe. He also knows the effect it has on Hyunwook when Jihoon looks like this. 

Jihoon hollows his cheeks around Hyunwook’s cock, his fist still wrapped firmly around the base as he continues to suck Hyunwook’s dick. However, Jihoon knows he wants something more. He wants his throat to ache afterwards so he pulls off, licking the strand of spit that connects his lips to Hyunwook’s cock. His dick twitches in his shorts when he hears the way Hyunwook whines at the loss. 

“Hyunwook, I want you to fuck my face,” is all he says before taking Hyunwook’s cock back in his mouth. He hears the way Hyunwook whispers out a shaky “fuck.” 

Jihoon feels Hyunwook clench his fist in Jihoon’s hair once again – even rougher than before this time – and looks up at the younger as Hyunwook begins thrusting his cock into Jihoon’s mouth, muttering swears under his breath as Jihoon lets Hyunwook use his mouth. 

“Fuck hyung, you’re so perfect like this. Those pretty eyes and pretty lips, you were just made for sucking cock, huh?” The younger asks, his head thrown back as he uses his hand to keep Jihoon planted in place as he fucks the shorter’s face. Jihoon hums around his cock in agreement, and the vibration only serves to add to the pleasure, Hyunwook gasping out some more curses. 

Jihoon’s jaw and mouth ache with how long he’s been keeping his mouth open for Hyunwook to use, but he welcomes the feeling. He likes it when Hyunwook roughs him up like this, but he also likes seeing the way Hyunwook is brought to pleasure by no one but Jihoon. 

Hyunwook suddenly tugs Jihoon’s mouth off of his cock, letting out loud breaths while Jihoon furrows his eyebrows from his spot on the ground. “Sorry hyung, I’m pretty sure I would’ve ended up fucking cumming if we kept going,” the younger clarifies, rubbing his free hand at the back of his neck in embarrassment and it’s so oddly endearing for the moment that Jihoon almost finds himself smiling. The younger removes his grip from Jihoon’s hair and instead helps pull the older up so that Jihoon is back on the couch. 

Jihoon removes his shorts and boxers, not missing the way Hyunwook looks at his ass as he leans over to grab lube from the side table next to the couch – a habit from when he and Hyunwook were still dating. Jihoon had never bothered to clean out the table drawer, and he finds himself thanking his past self for being lazy. He also grabs condoms, just because he really doesn’t feel like cleaning cum out of his ass after they’re done. 

“I already stretched myself out in the shower earlier today. You don’t have to do too much,” Jihoon informs Hyunwook as he hands the lube over to Hyunwook, listening to the groan the younger lets out. 

“Fuck hyung, you’re gonna be the death of me,” Hyunwook grunts out, and Jihoon holds back a small giggle as he bends over. His face is down on the arm of the couch, his hands are clenching around the arm to keep him steady as his ass is up. Hyunwook turns his body towards Jihoon’s so that he can stretch open the smaller. 

Hyunwook fingers him slowly, peppering small kisses on Jihoon’s hips and ass as he lazily thrusts his fingers in and out. The stretch is easier since Jihoon had already stretched himself out today, so Jihoon just leans his head against the arm of the couch, letting out small pants as he allows Hyunwook to finger him more until the younger deems Jihoon stretched enough. 

When Hyunwook pulls his fingers out, Jihoon maneuvers himself so that he’s seated on Hyunwook’s lap, “Hyunwook-ah, I want to ride you,” He states and Jihoon can’t help the way his lips tug into a small smirk when Hyunwook looks at him with wide eyes, the younger just nodding. Jihoon finds it cute – Hyunwook loves to talk a lot, but when Jihoon gets bossy the younger becomes so obedient. 

Jihoon slowly sinks down, hissing at the stretch and he hears Hyunwook simultaneously let out a groan. Jihoon slowly lowers himself on Hyunwook’s cock, listening to the groans the taller lets out as he carefully wraps his hands around Jihoon’s waist. When Jihoon bottoms out – his ass flush against Hyunwook’s hips and the taller’s cock fully in him – he slowly starts to move. 

He places his hands on Hyunwook’s shoulders to maintain his balance, slowly lifting himself up before dropping back down, reveling in the guttural moan that leaves Hyunwook’s mouth. “God hyung, you feel so fucking good,” the younger groans out as he throws his head back, and Jihoon can’t help the smirk that makes way onto his face. 

Jihoon sets his own pace, slowly moving his hips to properly fuck himself on Hyunwook’s cock. He’s letting out small gasps in pleasure whenever he feels the taller’s cock hit just right. Jihoon notices the way Hyunwook’s gaze is locked on him, his grip on Jihoon’s waist growing stronger. Jihoon closes his eyes and lets himself get lost in the feeling of the younger filling him up as he listens to the groans Hyunwook lets out. 

“Hyunwook-ah, you’re so good to me, such a good puppy. Always know your place, just a toy for hyung,” he pants out, hearing Hyunwook’s breath hitch. He knows his words are bound to rile Hyunwook up and whimpers for breath when he gets exactly what he wants. 

The younger begins to thrust up to meet Jihoon’s pace and the smaller lets out a gasp, his grip on Hyunwook’s shoulders tightening. Hyunwook’s thrusts are slow and languid as he allows Jihoon to set the pace, and the shorter takes advantage of the control offered to him. 

'Hyunwook, can hyung choke you?” He asks, his hands moving from Hyunwook’s shoulders to around the taller’s neck – not yet squeezing, but more than ready to if Hyunwook would like. He watches as Hyunwook’s eyes widen before the younger bites his lip, nodding up at Jihoon. Cute he can’t help but think.

Jihoon moves his hips in slow circles as he wraps his hands carefully around Hyunwook’s neck, putting the slightest bit of pressure. It’s nothing extreme, but it has an effect on the younger nonetheless, Hyunwook’s breath hitching as he looks up at Jihoon. Hyunwook places his hands over top of Jihoon’s and squeezes, as if to say harder. Jihoon has no problem with complying. 

Jihoon increases the force of his grip, staring into the taller’s eyes as he watches the way Hyunwook’s lips part and how his eyes begin to tear up. The smaller can’t help but groan at the sight, watching the way Hyunwook’s neck turns red while the younger lets out strangled whines. The sight gives Jihoon a high beyond words – knowing he’s the only one who can have Hyunwook in this position has a stronger effect on him than drugs ever could. 

When Jihoon finally lets go of Hyunwook’s neck the younger wheezes out a breath, gasping for air. Jihoon watches the younger regain his composure and decides that the slow and teasing sex was fun, but now he wants to get fucked properly. “Hyunwook-ah, be a good boy and fuck hyung like you mean it,” he says, his hand on Hyunwook’s chin to tilt the taller’s head up, making sure Hyunwook looks him in the eye. Hyunwook looks at him with so much reverence it almost makes Jihoon want to look away.

“Yeah, hyung. Gonna fill you up just how you deserve,” Hyunwook replies before he thrusts up roughly, using his grip on the smaller’s waist to move Jihoon’s body, manhandling the older on his dick to make sure the thrust connects. He smirks to himself when he hears the moan the smaller lets out as Jihoon leans forward to bury his face in Hyunwook’s shoulder, his arms wrapping around Hyunwook’s neck. 

Jihoon feels the way Hyunwook practically treats him like a doll, physically moving the smaller on his cock and thrusting into the older like his fucking life depends on it and feels himself damn near drooling. Jihoon’s mouth is wide open and his eyes are screwed shut as he lets out moans and whines right next to the younger’s ear, only riling Hyunwook up more. 

“Hyunwook, you feel so good. God, I wonder if I’ll be able to see your fucking cock in my stomach if I look down,” he wonders out-loud, moaning when he feels Hyunwook’s thrusts stutter at Jihoon’s words for a moment before the taller is back to thrusting at his brutal pace once again. 

“Fuck hyung, you can’t just say things like that,” Hyunwook responds, his voice sounding rough. When Jihoon moves his hips and Hyunwook thrusts into him he feels Hyunwook’s cock hit his prostate, and he lets out what can only be described as a pathetic cry. Hyunwook of course catches on and focuses his thrusts on that one specific spot, hearing the cries and whines the smaller lets out. 

“Hyunwook, look at me,” Jihoon demands, and smirks when Hyunwook lifts his head to reveal hooded eyes and a pink face. He looks wrecked, and Jihoon loves knowing its all because of him. Jihoon pulls him forward to connect their lips, kissing Hyunwook passionately. He bites and kisses at Hyunwook’s lips before pulling away, hearing the younger murmuring out a “ so pretty” as he watches the way Jihoon moves his hips. He smirks at the words. The older knows he won’t last with the way Hyunwook is letting himself get used while singing the older’s praises.  

“Hyunwook, gonna cum,” Jihoon whimpers out as a warning, so Hyunwook wraps his hand around the older’s cock to lazily jerk him off, listening to the way the older gasps and arches like a damn bowstring, painting Hyunwook’s hoodie with his cum. 

Jihoon’s letting out small whimpers as Hyunwook keeps fucking him while the taller lets out small pants, Jihoon hears Hyunwook mumble something and almost feels his heart stop and hears the younger pants out “love you, love you.” Jihoon feels his body freeze, stilling but Hyunwook doesn’t seem to notice his own words or Jihoon’s response, lost in pleasure. The younger cums shortly after, filling up the condom. Jihoon is so out of it, feeling like his brain has decided to shut off for the day, and he can only hope the younger isn’t too bothered by Jihoon ruining his hoodie with cum while he tries to act like he didn’t just hear Hyunwook say he loves Jihoon. 

Besides, after everything that’s happened, Jihoon knows it’s not true. Whatever love Hyunwook once had for Jihoon is now long gone. He reasons that Hyunwook was just saying nonsense when lost in pleasure. He pushes the “love you” to the back of his mind and focuses on the present moment. 

Hyunwook slowly pulls out and helps Jihoon lay on the couch. He ties off the condom and throws it into the trash before he puts his boxers and sweats back up, also helping Jihoon to get redressed. Hyunwook offers him some water, smiling to himself as he watches Jihoon take some small sips. 

“Hyung, do you feel okay?” He asks, and Jihoon reassures him that he’s okay, just a little understandably tired. At that Hyunwook nods in relief, “I’m glad. Let me take you to your room, hyung,” he says before lifting Jihoon up. The shorter lets out a startled yelp as he feels Hyunwook lift him up, the younger walking into Jihoon’s room and placing the smaller on the bed. 

“You didn’t have to carry me,” Jihoon murmurs, “but thank you,” he adds quietly, watching as Hyunwook just stares at him with a proud smile on his face. Jihoon wants to kiss him. Instead he nods towards Hyunwook’s now ruined hoodie and watches as the younger’s confident smile drops. Jihoon tries his best not to laugh. 

“Oh shit. Hyung, you were like a fucking fountain over there. Can’t blame you though, I know I’m just too good,” he responds and Jihoon thinks he might have to suffocate the younger with a pillow as his face grows impossibly red. 

“Shut up and grab yourself a shirt from my closet,” Jihoon groans, looking the other way so Hyunwook won’t see his bright red face. 

“Everything here is gonna be so fucking small on me. I’d be surprised if any of your shirts even covered my nipples,” Hyunwook huffs out and Jihoon can’t help the laugh that leaves his lips at that. He fails to notice the way Hyunwook looks at him, the younger’s eyes widening at the sound that he hadn’t heard in months. 

“I’m not that short, now just find something.” Jihoon replies, making himself comfortable in his bed as Hyunwook looks around. The sound of Hyunwook rummaging through his closet snaps him right out of whatever trance he’s in. 

He’s laughing and joking with Hyunwook the way they used to when they were still together. He’s letting Hyunwook look through his closet like the younger owns the place instead of just offering the taller a random old shirt. He’s feeling the same happiness he felt when they were still together. Hyunwook had just told him he loves him and seems to not even have noticed the words that left his mouth during sex.

Jihoon buries his face into the pillow, holding himself back from tearing up in front of Hyunwook like a damn loser. He knew it was a mistake to sleep with the younger again. He also knows this is a mistake that he’s going to keep repeating because he just can’t stay away from Hyunwook. 

He’s never felt so pathetic. 

“Hyung, I finally found something that fits better,” Hyunwook says happily as he walks over to the bed and sits next to where Jihoon is laying. Jihoon doesn’t even turn to look at him. 

“You should go now, it’s late,” Jihoon responds, and he feels like shit when he feels Hyunwook tense up next to him on the bed. He knows kicking someone out after sex is an asshole move, but he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with all these feelings suddenly creeping up. 

“Hyung . . . is it okay if I stay the night? It’s raining out and I didn’t bring my phone to call my manager,” Hyunwook responds carefully and Jihoon groans as he looks out the window and notices the heavy rain which he completely bypassed when he was lost in his thoughts. He wants to rip his hair out in frustration. He really can’t have a moment of peace, can he?

Jihoon finally turns to look at the younger, and Hyunwook is sitting there with a nervous look in his eyes. Jihoon can only sigh – he may be enough of an asshole to try and kick someone out after sex, but he’s not going to kick Hyunwook out in the rain when the younger has no way of getting home. 

“Sure,” is all he says as he gathers his blanket, ready to sleep on the couch, when Hyunwook hurriedly stops him. 

“Hyung, I’ll sleep on the couch, it’s okay,” Hyunwook responds and Jihoon rolls his eyes as he watches the younger grab an old pillow and a throw-blanket thinner than a piece of paper. 

“You might freeze to death if you try to sleep with that blanket,” Jihoon states and he can already feel himself regretting his next words. “Sleep on my bed with me, just don’t come near me while I sleep,” Jihoon responds and he would laugh at Hyunwook’s expression if he wasn’t the one stuck in this ridiculous situation. 

“Are you sure, hyung? I could always –” 

“Yes I’m sure. Go to sleep and stop talking, I’m tired,” he responds as he turns away from Hyunwook once again, closing his eyes as he tries to keep his heart from bursting out of his damn chest. 

“Goodnight hyung,” Hyunwook whispers. Jihoon doesn’t respond. 

–

He wakes up in the morning to an empty room, Hyunwook long gone.

He wonders why there’s a dull pang in chest when he looks at the empty side of the bed.

__________

The two fall into a habit of fucking while ignoring their feelings. Hyunwook spends his time calling Jihoon up while Jihoon spends his time giving in. 

It always ends the same way – with Jihoon waking up alone in his apartment or a hotel with his body aching from the night before. He regrets it only to do it all over again, finding that even if he can’t have Hyunwook romantically, he can at least have him for a night. 

Jihoon can’t help but find himself pathetic. Hyunwook broke his heart yet Jihoon desperately yearns for a way to have the younger, even if it’s only for the other’s sexual gratification. 

He knows it needs to stop, he knows he’ll only get more and more hurt if he continues to let this situation fester, and yet he doesn’t stop it. He responds to all of Hyunwook’s calls and lets the younger have his way with Jihoon. He wakes up alone and reads articles about Hyunwook’s alleged girlfriend in the morning after fucking Hyunwook the night before. 

He finds himself trapped in a cycle, one that he himself is not even sure he’s able to break out of. 

He also knows he desperately needs a wakeup call, so Jihoon reveals all of this to Ryeoun and Junyoung while they have pizza at his apartment. The two actors’ jaws dropping in disbelief at Jihoon’s current predicament. 

“Jihoon, I mean this with nothing but the utmost respect, but you need to stand up,” Junyoung says after a pause and Jihoon can’t help the small laugh he lets out, finding himself agreeing with Junyoung. 

“Seriously, there’s many good guys out there! I can introduce you to some I know if you really want,” Ryeoun offers, already unlocking his phone but Jihoon shakes his head. 

“Thanks for the offer hyung, but I’m really not looking to date right now. I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do right now,” Jihoon huffs, and Ryeoun looks disappointed but nods in understanding nonetheless. 

“You should block him again and stop letting him in your apartment. You should also make him give you an explanation on why he broke up with you but keeps coming back for sex,” Junyoung replies, his words are blunt but Jihoon knows it's because he wants the best for Jihoon. 

“If I block him he’ll show up and I know I don’t have it in me to just leave someone standing outside my door like that. The explanation was that he needed time to find himself but I guess he still misses my body,” Jihoon murmurs, his voice sounding bitter even in his own ears. Knowing that someone doesn’t want to be with you but loves your body is not exactly the best feeling in the world. 

“Jihoon, I know you miss him too, but this is really getting to a point. This is actively hurting you! I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to be firm and slam that door in his face when he shows up,” Ryeoun says, he sounds exasperated and Jihoon can’t blame him. He’s exasperated with himself too.

“I agree, the only time you should open the door for him is if he’s begging for forgiveness,” Junyoung states as he takes a bite out of his pizza. Jihoon finds himself agreeing with the other two actors. 

“You know, I never realized but he hasn’t even apologized for breaking up in the shittiest way possible. I don’t expect him to apologize for breaking up since that’s what he wanted, but he should at least apologize for doing it over text the morning after we had sex,” Jihoon says, his eyebrows furrowing. His friends' faces are so rapidly overcome with glee and relief  – you’d think they finally found an oasis in a desert – Jihoon almost wants to laugh. 

“Exactly! Even if he has no intention of getting back together, shouldn’t he at least apologize for leaving you in the most asshole-way possible? All he says is that he misses you and expects you to forget! He needs to learn his lesson,” Ryoeun states, determination in his voice. Jihoon doesn’t know whether to find it funny or be honoured by how offended Ryeoun is on his behalf. 

They chat some more before the other actors eventually call it a night and head home. Their conversation lingers in Jihoon’s mind and Jihoon decides Junyoung and Ryeoun are right. It may hurt to block Hyunwook out, but he needs to be firm. He feels himself feeling hopeful, the defeated attitude from before being smothered by his friends’ words.

 Besides, blocking the younger may help him get over Hyunwook. Out of sight, out of mind, right? 

He’s not so sure. 

–

The process of blocking Hyunwook and refusing to speak to him at official events ends up going exactly as Jihoon predicted – with Hyunwook standing outside his apartment door.

If it was anyone else Jihoon would’ve debated calling the police, but he would be lying if he said the attention from Hyunwook didn’t do wonders for the worst part of his mind that still craved some level of control over Hyunwook. 

“Hyung, I won’t force you to talk if you really don’t want to, but can you at least hear me out?” The younger shouts from the other side of the door, and Jihoon feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the thought of his neighbours hearing this commotion. 

He ponders letting Hyunwook yell some more from outside the door, but the thought of his neighbours filing a noise complaint leads to him yanking the door open while glaring at Hyunwook. 

“Make it quick, say what you have to say then leave,” Jihoon says, walking back into his apartment without even sparing the younger a glance. He knows his behaviour is colder than usual, but he also knows this cycle will only get worse if he doesn’t nip the problem in the bud right now. 

He hears the taller follow behind him, closing the door before he sits down at Jihoon’s small dining table. Jihoon sighs, reluctantly pulling out the seat and sitting across from Hyunwook. 

“Hyung, why did you block me? I thought everything was okay,” the taller starts, he looks hurt and Jihoon finds himself getting angry at the audacity the younger has. 

“I don’t know, probably the same reason why you broke up with me even though I thought everything was okay. Maybe I just needed time to find myself,” Jihoon mocks, throwing the younger’s words back in his face. He watches as Hyunwook’s expression looks impossibly more upset, and he hates that he feels rewarded knowing he’s upsetting the younger. Hates how miserable of a person he’s become because of Hyunwook. Hates how much the younger has ruined him. He never used to be this bitter and standoff-ish. 

“That’s different, that was a whole relationship, this is just sex. Is it so wrong for us to have sex?” Hyunwook asks, and Jihoon wants to scoff. He can’t tell if Hyunwook is being obtuse on purpose, but it really is contributing to the rage already threatening to boil over.

“You came up to me to tell me you’re not dating someone even though I have no business knowing that. You told me you miss me. You’re the one who gets jealous when I breathe near Junyoung or Ryeoun. You’re the one who keeps coming back and wanting more even though you wanted me out of your life. So yes, this is wrong. It’s wrong because it’s no longer just sex, you’re blurring the lines that you created in the first place,” Jihoon finishes, watching as the younger opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water. 

He also pointedly leaves out that the younger told him he loves him, primarily because he’s not even sure if Hyunwook was aware of his own words. 

“I didn’t want you to think I’m a cheater, and I didn’t want to believe you had moved on with a co-star we both know because it could make things messy, is that so wrong?” Hyunwook responds, he sounds exasperated while his voice starts to get more shaky. He pointedly doesn’t address why he tells Jihoon he misses him or why he ever came back in the first place. 

“It’s not wrong, what is wrong though is making me feel like I never meant anything to you except someone convenient for sex. You fucked me before breaking up with me, and now you keep coming back for sex. Did I ever mean anything to you besides a nice body?” Jihoon huffs out, feeling himself tear up as he’s unable to hold back his emotions any longer, every ugly thought from the past few months spilling out. He hears Hyunwook scoff in disbelief and it only serves to fuel the fire in Jihoon’s heart. 

“Hyung you fucking know that’s not true. You meant everything to me, you still mean so much to me –”

“So why the fuck did you do that to me?” He responds, and he’s shocked when his voice is almost a yell, but he continues knowing this may be the only time he ever gets to ask. “Why’d you leave me over text and give the most vague reason possible? Stop telling me you miss me, stop commenting on posts of me calling me pretty, stop begging me for another night. Don’t ever tell me you love me again. Just get the hell out,” Jihoon adds at the end, the fight leaving his body and instead being replaced with pure, utter, sadness as he slumps in his chair. The younger seems to notice the shift as Jihoon wipes his tears roughly. 

“Hyung this isn’t what I came here to do, please – “

“And you’re still not answering any of my questions. If you’re not gonna answer, get the fuck out.” He responds bluntly. He desperately hopes Hyunwook will stay, desperately hopes he’ll finally get a proper explanation.

He watches as Hyunwook stares at him for a moment in contemplation – thinking carefully on whether or not to answer all the questions he’s plagued Jihoon with for months – before he ultimately walks out the front door, closing the door quietly behind him. 

Jihoon watches as Hyunwook decides to leave him with no explanation, yet again. 

Jihoon’s whole body feels like a string keeping him up has finally snapped when he leans forward, burying his face in his hands as he lets himself cry. 

__________

For the next three weeks, Hyunwook doesn’t try to reach him again. He doesn’t show up at his apartment nor does he attempt to contact him through social media – as Jihoon blocked his number. 

Jihoon feels as if he should be relieved, as if he should be thankful that he’ll finally be able to move on. 

Instead he just feels hollow, as if Hyunwook has really, officially, left him behind this time. He knows it’s ridiculous, he’s the one who told Hyunwook to stop after all. He bitterly can’t help but wonder when Hyunwook suddenly decided to start caring for what others have to say. 

Ryeoun and Junyoung tell him that his feelings are only natural, that he just needs time to process everything. Jihoon knows that they’re right, but he also can’t help the way this feels like the breakup all over again. Only this time he’s fully aware that there’s no way to reconnect. Not unless Jihoon initiates it. 

Right now all the cards are in his hand – all he has to do is unblock Hyunwook for them to fall into the same pattern once again. However, he decides to be firm in his words, deciding the sadness he feels now will only be temporary in comparison to the emotions he felt from letting himself get used over and over again by Hyunwook. 

He spends his days with Ryeoun and Junyoung, thankful for his friends who keep his mind off of things. When his phone buzzes he expects it to be one of them, but to his surprise it’s a message from Kyung. 

Kyung hyung: would you be up for dinner tonight?

Jihoon knows it’s been a while since he’s properly met with Kyung, and he feels terrible for side-lining the older during the past few months. He replies to the message, agreeing to dinner together, and gets ready. 

His body thrums with anticipation the whole ride, missing his friend. He knows he’s been a bad friend, but he hopes to make it up to the other tonight. He fixes his hair in the rear-view mirror one more time before getting out of the car. 

When he enters the restaurant, Kyung is standing at the front with a nervous smile. Jihoon finds himself glad to see that Kyung feels the same nerves as him right now. 

“Hyung!” He calls out, smiling as he leans forward to hug the older. Kyung hugs him back, patting Jihoon on the back of his head before pulling away. 

“Jihoon-ah, it’s nice to see you again. There’s a table at the back for us, let’s head over there,” he suggests and Jihoon nods in agreement. They make small talk as they walk over to the table – it’s in a secluded area, a curtain separating it from everyone else. When Kyung pulls the curtain back, Jihoon feels his smile drop. 

There, Hyunwook is sitting, a nervous expression on his face. 

Suddenly, Jihoon feels stupid – Kyung wasn’t nervous over seeing Jihoon after so long, he was nervous over Jihoon’s reaction to this. 

Jihoon turns to walk out but Kyung stops him, grabbing his arm. “Jihoon-ah, I’m so sorry. I know this was an asshole move of me, but please just hear Hyunwook out. He’s been driving me crazy with how much he talks about you and I think it would do you two good to just have one final conversation,” Kyung pleads, and Jihoon lets out a sigh. 

“Hyung, please. If you never want to talk again after this, I’ll accept it, but please just hear me out this once,” Hyunwook adds on, his voice laced with desperation. 

Jihoon looks back and forth between Kyung and Hyunwook before reluctantly taking a seat across from Hyunwook. The scene was all too similar to the one that had just taken place at his apartment a few weeks back. He forces the thought out of his mind as he watches Kyung hurriedly walk away. 

“Jihoon hyung, I’m not going to circle around the topic any longer. Last time we talked, you asked me why I broke up with you and why I keep coming back. I’m so ashamed to say it, but my life felt so difficult – bookings were getting harder, my company had high expectations of me, and I felt like I needed to live up to the image you had of me as a good boyfriend when I could barely take care of myself. Everything just felt too much. I don’t know why, but I thought detaching myself from everything in my life at that time would help me.” Hyunwook explains and Jihoon can only sit there with an incredulous expression. 

“You broke up with me because you were afraid of what I’d think about your mental state instead of just talking to me?” Jihoon asks, not even trying to hide the exasperated tone in his voice. 

“Well when you put it like that it sounds stupid,” Hyunwook mumbles, looking down at the untouched drink in front of him. Jihoon groans, rubbing his hands over his face. He prays to whoever’s listening for enough patience to handle this conversation. 

“Well not to rub salt in your wound, but it is a little stupid. Hyunwook, we were in a relationship for fucks sake. I would have listened to you and done everything in my power to help you,” Jihoon responds and Hyunwook sighs, running his hand through his hair. 

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. I thought I’d add to your stress,” Hyunwook says and Jihoon wants to scream in frustration, what on earth did Hyunwook’s thought process consist of? Two monkeys slamming cymbals together? 

“And you didn’t stop to think that breaking up would add to my stress?” Jihoon asks, raising an eyebrow. He doesn’t want to argue but he can’t help the way his words have an undertone of ridicule. This whole situation feels like one big cosmic joke – the fact that he suffered for months over something so easily solvable if Hyunwook had just communicated it in the first place. 

“I thought it would be better for you to be without me since all I do is burden you,” Hyunwook responds, and at that Jihoon feels his heart ache with hurt for a moment. He may be beyond upset with Hyunwook for everything the younger has done, but the last thing Jihoon wants is for Hyunwook to think of himself that way. He reaches out and grabs Hyunwook’s hands, ignoring the bewildered look on the younger’s face.

“You were never once a burden to me,” Jihoon says before letting go of Hyunwook’s hands, watching as Hyunwook’s eyes widen and suddenly look more glassy than the moment prior. Hyunwook hurriedly wipes at his eyes, letting out a small chuckle in embarrassment at his own tears. Jihoon slides the tissues on the table closer to Hyunwook. 

“Thank you, hyung," Hyunwook responds. His voice shakes and despite the short response, Jihoon understands everything the younger wants to convey. Thank you for talking to me, thank you for always being there for me, thank you for your kindness that I don’t deserve. 

Jihoon just gives him a sad smile, taking a small sip of the drink in front of him. 

–

They talk over drinks and before Jihoon knows it, he ends up at Hyunwook’s apartment. Hyunwook repeatedly assures him they don’t have to do anything, but the younger insists on giving Jihoon a home-cooked meal since the fake dinner from before only consisted of drinks. 

Once Hyunwook steps into his kitchen he grabs an apron, ready to cook, but Jihoon stops him by pushing him against the wall. He watches as the younger’s eyes widen in bewilderment. 

“H-hyung, I told you this isn’t why I brought you here. I just wanted to cook. I swear, I don’t want you to think I only have sexual intentions –”

“I’m telling you that I want you right now, so tell me now if you’re willing or not,” Jihoon responds. He’s looking up at Hyunwook with wide eyes and he can almost hear the inner workings of Hyunwook’s brain as the younger works up a response. 

Hyunwook gulps. “Hyung, tonight I’m gonna take good care of you,” is all the younger responds with, and before Jihoon knows it the younger is cupping his face and kissing him gently. It’s soft, so tender, compared to the rough manner they usually kiss. Hyunwook kisses Jihoon like he’s trying to convey all of his emotions – all of his love, and all the apologies he owes Jihoon. 

Jihoon wraps his arms around the younger’s neck, and Hyunwook helps Jihoon make his way over to the taller’s room. Hyunwook giggles into his mouth when Jihoon almost slips on the way over, the smaller too preoccupied with trying to kiss Hyunwook as opposed to focusing on his surroundings. 

Once they’re in his bedroom Hyunwook gently lays Jihoon on the bed, crawling over his body and peppering kisses all over his face and neck. Jihoon lets out small whimpers when Hyunwook sucks some bruises on his neck, whispering out “so pretty” and “all mine” while he leaves marks all over the smaller’s neck. 

Hyunwook helps Jihoon remove his clothes, chuckling when Jihoon turns his face to the side in embarrassment over Hyunwook complimenting his body. Jihoon can’t help it, his ears turn red with the way Hyunwook keeps calling him beautiful and saying his body is perfect. Hyunwook peppers kisses all over his torso and Jihoon can’t help how the light kisses only serve to work him up more. 

The taller kisses his body some more before pulling away to remove his clothes and grab the lube. He delicately works Jihoon open, almost as if he’s afraid of breaking the older. All of his actions are so tender and loving that Jihoon almost feels bad for what he’s about to do. 

“Hyung, should I use condoms?” Hyunwook asks softly, and Jihoon smiles as he looks up at the younger. 

“No, I want to feel you,” he responds, and watches the way Hyunwook’s face lights up. The younger leans down to kiss him once more before he slowly pushes in, watching for any signs of discomfort on Jihoon’s face. The smaller lets out small whimpers but wraps his arms around Hyunwook’s neck and his legs around Hyunwook’s waist. 

Jihoon leans inconceivably closer, making sure he’s whispering right into Hyunwook’s ear. “Take good care of me, Hyunwook-ah. Show hyung how much you missed me,” he says and listens to the way Hyunwook’s breath hitches. 

“Yeah hyung, don’t worry. Gonna make sure you never doubt it again,” Hyunwook says, and he picks up his pace, leaving Jihoon gasping. Hyunwook’s not at a fast pace or rough like usual, but his thrusts are deep and precise, leaving the smaller clinging onto him while whispering out curses. 

Hyunwook cups Jihoon’s face, looking into the smaller’s eyes with each thrust. Jihoon understands what Hyunwook wants, and understands exactly what the younger one is trying to convey. I missed you, I love you, I’m sorry. 

Jihoon breaks eye contact by pulling Hyunwook down by the younger’s neck, and he connects their lips once again. He closes his eyes and lets himself get lost in the kiss. Lets himself get lost in the appeal of a relationship that once was real. 

The younger’s thrusts are slowly getting faster and Jihoon arches up, letting out a breathy gasp when Hyunwook hits his prostate with precision. The younger just smirks, sucking more bruises into Jihoon’s skin while the smaller’s whines grow louder and louder.

“Hyung, you're so perfect. I’m so fucking lucky, you’re everything to me,” Hyunwook mutters right into Jihoon’s ear and the smaller’s heart pangs at the words. He just kisses the side of Hyunwook’s face, hoping that it means something to the younger. With the way Hyunwook smiles, Jihoon supposes he made the right call. 

Jihoon feels the pressure in his stomach growing stronger and he lets out a small whimper, “H-Hyunwook, I think I’m gonna cum.” The younger just smiles, cupping one side of Jihoon’s face with a hand. 

“Cum for me, hyung. You’re so perfect, so pretty. I love you,” he states and Jihoon cums, his vision going white for a moment while his back arches off the bed, he hears a loud gasp and realizes it’s his own voice. His cheeks turn pink at the realization but nonetheless he looks up at Hyunwook, his eyes teary as he pulls the younger close so that their foreheads are touching. 

“I love you too, so, so much,” he says, and he means it with every fiber of his being. Hyunwook groans, burrowing his face in Jihoon’s shoulder as he cums, filling the smaller up with his cum. Jihoon whimpers as he feels Hyunwook’s cum fill him up, he doesn’t have much of an opinion on the feeling but he does like seeing Hyunwook’s reaction to the cum dripping out of him. 

Hyunwook slowly pulls out – kissing Jihoon on the hip when the smaller whines in dismay – before he spreads the older’s legs and starts licking and slurping his own cum out of Jihoon’s hole. The older gasps, his eyes widening while his hand automatically grips onto Hyunwook’s hair. The younger eats him out like it’s his last meal, licking, sucking, and kissing at Jihoon’s hole fervently as the older whines and squirms before pulling away with a proud smile. 

“What the fuck,” Jihoon pants out, body fully worn out. He hears the younger let out a small chuckle. 

“Couldn’t be bothered to go find a towel,” Hyunwook says as an explanation, getting comfortable next to Jihoon. He wraps his arms around Jihoon’s body, pulling the smaller close, holding onto him as if Jihoon might disappear if he doesn’t. He closes his eyes and listens to the older’s steady breathing as a way to ground himself. 

Jihoon hugs him back, feeling comfortable in Hyunwook’s hold. He lightly grazes his thumb over Hyunwook’s face, tracing the younger’s features. Hyunwook opens his eyes at the touch, and just gives a small smile to the older once they make eye contact. 

“Love you hyung,” Hyunwook says, and Jihoon gives him a small smile right back. 

“Love you too Hyunwook-ah,” he says, and hopes his voice doesn’t shake as he speaks. 

__________

For the first time, Hyunwook is the one to wake up to an empty bed, all signs of Jihoon erased from Hyunwook’s room. 

The sunlight filters through his room, shining a spotlight on the empty spot on the bed like a sick joke.