Work Text:
13/03/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
Today was my first class at Polaris Dance Academy. I almost ate the floor during warmups. Twice.
Everyone here moves like they’re made of music — smooth, confident, in control . And then there’s me.
Flailing like a baby giraffe on a sugar rush.
The worst part?
I tripped over my own shoelaces right in front of Kwon Soonyoung. Hoshi . As in Polaris’ golden boy . The living embodiment of rhythm.
He smiled.
Helped me up.
Said, “Careful. The floor bites if you’re not nice to it.”
And I laughed, like an idiot.
I think I might have a crush on him.
No.
I definitely do.
—
14/03/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal (Hoshi)
Note to self:
New girl in Level 1 contemporary — name tag said “Y/N.”
Tripped mid-turn. Landed on the floor with her arms flailing like she was in a cartoon. It was kind of impressive, actually.
She looked so embarrassed.
I offered her a hand, told a dumb joke about the floor biting. She laughed like it was the funniest thing ever.
Cute laugh. Big eyes.
Looks like she tries really hard. Like… really hard. I respect that.
Might offer to help her after class. I remember what it felt like to be the one always behind.
Plus…
She has this determination in her eyes.
It’s kind of magnetic.
—
17/03/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
So I stayed after class to practice the transition into pirouettes — the one that always makes me feel like a broken spinning top.
And guess who stayed too?
Hoshi.
He asked if I wanted help.
ME.
I said “sure” so fast I think I accidentally bowed twice.
He adjusted my arm position gently, told me to breathe, not hold so much tension in my shoulders. I nodded like I understood any of it, then spun straight into the mirror.
He didn’t laugh.
He just said, “Okay, we’re gonna try again. This time, you trust yourself.”
No one’s ever said that to me before. Not like that.
I think I might cry.
Or spin again.
Or both.
—
17/03/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
Y/N stayed late again. She’s really serious about improving.
She’s still clumsy, but there’s something alive about the way she moves when she forgets she’s nervous.
Her turns are off balance, but her passion is dead center.
I told her to trust herself.
She looked at me like no one’s ever asked her to before.
We practiced for an hour.
I forgot how fun it was to teach someone who actually listens.
And when she finally did a clean double spin — the way her eyes lit up…
I don’t know.
I think I’m in trouble.
—
21/03/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
Hoshi called me his partner during class today when the instructor asked why we were always hovering around the corner of the studio.
Partner.
Okay, sure, he meant practice partner. But STILL.
Also, he tied my shoelaces for me before warm-ups. Who does that??
(Angels. That’s who.)
He even remembered I like peach tea.
He brought me one after practice and said, “Fuel for your spins.”
What am I supposed to do with that kind of sweetness??
Melt???
Because I did.
—
22/03/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
Y/N nailed her turn sequence today. She actually shouted, “YES!” in the middle of the studio and scared half the room.
I was so proud I high-fived her — maybe a little too hard — she nearly fell again.
This girl is chaos. Endearing, determined chaos.
Brought her peach tea again.
She called me “Dance God Hoshi” and I think I blushed.
Not sure if she notices how I keep watching her when she’s not looking.
Not sure if she knows how proud I am every time she gets a step right.
Definitely not sure what to do about the fact that I want to hold her hand next time I fix her arm position.
But maybe…
Maybe one more practice together. Then I’ll tell her.
—
28/03/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
Today, I didn’t trip.
Not once.
Hoshi said, “Look at you, not kissing the floor!”
And I said, “Maybe the floor and I are on speaking terms now.”
He laughed.
Then he asked if I wanted to grab snacks after practice. Just the two of us.
I think I said yes.
Or nodded?
I might have squeaked.
We’re meeting tomorrow.
He said, “Consider it a reward for surviving your first week without face-planting.”
But I think he meant something more.
Or maybe I hope he did.
Either way…
I’ll wear my best shoes.
The ones that don’t come untied.
—
29/03/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
So… I didn’t die.
The snack date happened. It was real.
We sat outside the corner convenience store with triangle kimbap and those honey butter chips he swears by.
It wasn’t fancy.
It wasn’t a date date.
But then he said, “This is nice. I don’t usually get to slow down like this.”
And he looked at me .
Not his phone. Not the street. Me .
I told him he deserved to rest too.
He smiled. That soft one he usually saves for right after practice when the sweat’s still clinging to his hair.
He said, “You always say stuff that sticks.”
My brain short-circuited. I just nodded and shoved chips in my mouth like a gremlin.
But I think… I think I’m falling.
Or already there.
—
29/03/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
Snack date with Y/N today.
She called it a reward, but honestly, it felt like a reset button for my entire week.
We didn’t talk about dance. We just talked.
About our favorite snack combos. Our worst auditions. Her fear of elevators.
She told me she never expected someone like her to belong at Polaris.
I wanted to shake her.
How does she not see what I see?
The way she lights up when she’s proud of herself?
The way she makes even messing up feel… joyful?
I wanted to tell her she belongs everywhere.
But instead I said, “You’re the best part of my Tuesdays.”
She choked on her soda.
Worth it.
—
02/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
Today, I caught him staring.
During warmups, of all things.
I wasn’t doing anything impressive. Just a side stretch, halfway to a cramp.
But when I glanced up, he was already looking — like he forgot he wasn’t supposed to.
He smiled. Didn’t look away.
And I swear, my heart did a fouetté.
After class, he walked me to the bus stop even though it was raining and he had his own rehearsal to get to.
No umbrella. Just hoodie hoods and shared space.
He said, “Tell me when you get home, okay?”
Like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Like he wants to keep me safe.
Like maybe… I’m not the only one falling.
—
02/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
Rainy day.
Y/N smelled like clean laundry and lemon candy.
Not relevant to dance notes, but I don’t care.
She’s getting better. Her spins are smoother. Transitions more fluid. I told her she looked strong today.
She blushed. Said, “I’ve got a good coach.”
Coach? God. I hope she doesn’t think this is just that.
I walked her to the bus. No umbrella. Didn’t care.
I watched her leave through the foggy bus window, and for a second, I thought:
I want this.
More snack dates. More shared jokes. More her.
But I don’t know how to say it yet.
So for now, I’ll keep spinning beside her.
Until I find the courage to fall.
—
05/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
Today, I almost said it.
It was after practice. Everyone else had left, and the mirrors were fogged from how hard we’d gone on the final set.
I stayed behind to stretch. He stayed behind just because.
He sat across from me, legs stretched out, holding a water bottle like it was the only thing grounding him.
He said, “You know… you make it hard not to look forward to class.”
And I —
I panicked.
I laughed. Like an idiot .
He smiled too, but it didn’t reach his eyes this time.
And I wanted to fix it.
I wanted to say,
“I think I like you.”
But my mouth said,
“Is it because I bring snacks?”
He played along. Of course he did.
But I saw the flicker.
The almost .
I think we’re both standing on the edge.
But I don’t know who’s going to jump first.
—
05/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
She laughed.
When I told her how I felt — or, well, almost did — she laughed .
And I don’t know if that was her way of running or her way of not knowing what to do with the truth.
I said, “You make it hard not to look forward to class.”
What I meant: You make it hard not to fall in love every single time you walk into the room.
She made a joke about snacks. I laughed too.
What else could I do?
Maybe I’m reading it wrong.
Maybe she doesn’t feel the same.
Or maybe she does, and we’re both just cowards.
But if I don’t say it soon, I think it’ll eat me alive.
—
07/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
He brought me a peach drink today.
Said he saw me looking at it last time but didn’t get it because I “hesitated too long like a dramatic film character.”
I told him I was being responsible.
He said, “You can be responsible after dance practice.”
He’s always taking care of me in these quiet, tiny ways.
Does he know he’s doing it?
Does he know I notice every time?
I didn’t laugh at anything today.
I just looked at him, held the bottle in both hands, and said,
“Thank you, Hoshi.”
His ears turned pink.
Maybe I haven’t missed my chance.
Not yet.
—
10/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
She tied my shoelaces today.
I didn’t ask her to. I was talking to Chan, sitting on the floor post-practice, and before I could notice — she just knelt down and double-knotted them.
Said, “You’re going to trip like this. Again.”
I said, “Maybe I want to fall.”
It came out before I could stop it.
She paused. Eyes flicked up to mine — that deer-in-headlights look she gets when she hears something she’s not ready for.
Then she smiled. Said, “Well, try not to fall around me. I might trip too.”
…what does that mean ?
I’m going insane.
—
10/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
He said he wants to fall.
And I think I did. Right then and there.
Also: his laces were a disaster. Honestly, I might be in love with a walking health hazard.
But when he said that — when he looked at me like that — I could barely breathe.
So I made a joke. Again. Because it’s easier than saying,
“I already fell. You just weren’t looking.”
God.
How do people do this? How do you say something like that out loud?
—
12/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
Snack date: secured.
I told her, “I owe you a drink for tying my laces.”
She rolled her eyes but agreed.
So now we’re going to the corner store tomorrow after practice.
Just us. No Chan. No mirrors. No excuses.
I think I’m going to wear my lucky hoodie. The one that makes me look less nervous than I am.
I won’t confess. Not yet.
But maybe I’ll hold the door open a little longer.
Maybe I’ll walk on the outside of the sidewalk.
Maybe I’ll try to make her laugh without hiding the way I look at her.
God help me.
—
13/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
We have a snack date tomorrow.
Well, not a date date.
It’s “payment for laces” apparently.
(But I know he didn’t actually care about that.)
I spent twenty minutes today picking out what hoodie to wear.
Then realized I’m just going to sweat through it in class anyway.
Still… I hope he notices.
I’m not going to confess. But maybe I’ll buy his favorite chips.
Maybe I’ll lean a little closer when we walk.
Maybe I’ll say his name without a reason, just to see how he looks at me when I do.
Maybe he’ll look back.
—
14/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
She waited for me outside the studio today.
Hood up. Hands in pockets. Hair still a little damp from practice.
I think I forgot how to speak.
We walked without music. Just the sound of traffic and our steps falling in sync.
At the store, she picked the seaweed chips I always grab — I didn’t even have to say it.
I picked her drink before she reached the cooler. She blinked and said, “How’d you know?”
I shrugged. “You always get it after evaluations.”
She looked at me like she’d never realized I was watching.
I wanted to tell her — I always am.
But instead, I asked if she wanted to sit at the bus stop across the street.
We did.
Didn’t catch a bus.
Just sat there. Sharing snacks.
At one point, our fingers brushed. I froze. She pulled back like it burned.
And then she apologized.
Why?
I almost said something. Almost asked if she felt it too.
But then the bus actually came, and we both stood up too quickly.
She waved goodbye. I waved back.
Neither of us left until the bus drove away.
—
14/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
She waited for me outside the studio today.
Hood up. Hands in pockets. Hair still a little damp from practice.
I think I forgot how to speak.
We walked without music. Just the sound of traffic and our steps falling in sync.
At the store, she picked the seaweed chips I always grab — I didn’t even have to say it.
I picked her drink before she reached the cooler. She blinked and said, “How’d you know?”
I shrugged. “You always get it after evaluations.”
She looked at me like she’d never realized I was watching .
I wanted to tell her — I always am.
But instead, I asked if she wanted to sit at the bus stop across the street.
We did.
Didn’t catch a bus.
Just sat there. Sharing snacks.
At one point, our fingers brushed. I froze. She pulled back like it burned.
And then she apologized.
Why?
I almost said something. Almost asked if she felt it too.
But then the bus actually came, and we both stood up too quickly.
She waved goodbye. I waved back.
Neither of us left until the bus drove away.
—
14/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
He remembered my drink.
He remembered.
I didn’t think he paid attention to things like that — but maybe he always has.
And he sat beside me. Not across. Right next to me. Our arms kept brushing and I couldn’t stop shaking.
Then our fingers touched.
It was barely anything. But it felt like lightning.
I pulled away. Like an idiot.
And he didn’t say anything. Just went quiet.
I wanted to tell him.
I wanted to say, “Don’t stop looking at me like that.”
I wanted to lean my head on his shoulder.
Instead, we both stood like strangers when the bus came.
We didn’t even take it.
We just… left.
I miss him and he was right next to me.
What is wrong with me?
—
15/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
She didn’t sit next to me during warmups today.
She always does. Always.
Today, she sat next to Jiwoo.
She didn’t even look over when I cracked the same joke she always laughs at.
I think I messed up.
Or maybe she’s just trying to play it cool.
Well, newsflash: I’m not cool.
I’ve never been good at pretending.
I keep replaying the bus stop in my head.
What would’ve happened if I didn’t let go?
—
15/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
I avoided him today.
Not because I wanted to.
But because if I looked at him, I might’ve blurted it all out.
Might’ve said: “I like you.”
“Not as a partner. Not as a classmate.”
Just —
“I like you.”
And I can’t do that. Not yet.
Not until I know he feels it too.
I think he does.
But thinking isn’t knowing.
And knowing means risking it.
And risking it means losing what we already have.
And I don’t know if I’m brave enough for that yet.
—
16/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
Joshua was in the studio today, just hanging out while we cleaned choreo.
He leaned against the mirror, sipping iced coffee like he wasn’t quietly clocking every interaction I had.
And then, out of nowhere, he said —
“You two are exhausting.”
I blinked. “What?”
He nodded toward Y/N, who was across the room tying her shoes.
“You like her. She likes you. The rest of us are just collateral damage at this point.”
I opened my mouth to deny it. He raised a hand.
“Don’t even. I’ve seen the way you look at her when you think no one’s watching.”
I laughed it off. Said he was imagining things.
But he didn’t smile. Just tapped the lid of his coffee and said,
“You think you have time, but one of you is going to run eventually. Don’t let her.”
I’ve never seen Joshua that serious before.
Now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Is she already running?
—
16/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
I caught Joshua looking at me weird today.
Not weird-bad. Weird-like-he-knew-something.
And then he said the strangest thing when we passed in the hallway.
“You should talk to him. He’s more obvious than he thinks.”
I froze. Asked him what he meant.
He just smiled and walked off like a rom-com side character who knows he’s moving the plot along.
Joshua never says anything unless he means it.
And now I’m spiraling.
Because if he sees it… does that mean it’s real?
Does Soonyoung actually like me back?
Or am I just reading into things again?
I don’t know. But tomorrow… maybe I’ll test it.
Just a little.
Just enough to know if I should stop hoping.
—
18/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
Today was supposed to be a full group practice.
Except — when I showed up, only Y/N was there.
No Dino. No Seungkwan. No Minghao.
Just her, stretching by the mirror and blinking at me like she wasn’t expecting it either.
I checked my messages. The group chat said practice was pushed an hour.
Sent… by Joshua.
From my phone.
I nearly sprained something realizing it.
He must’ve grabbed my phone when I left it unlocked during warmups.
That little…
Okay. He’s not wrong.
Because now we were stuck in that cavernous studio, alone, with no music playing, just the faint sound of traffic outside and her laugh —
God, her laugh.
We talked. Not even about anything important.
What snacks we’d get after this. If sweet potato tteokbokki was superior (it is). Whether the backup dancers in that viral TikTok were dating.
It felt too easy.
Too comfortable.
Too much like something I want every day.
And then —
She looked at me and said, “Hey, can I tell you something?”
I swear to god I forgot how to breathe.
But then she bit her lip.
Laughed.
Said, “Never mind. It’s stupid.”
I didn’t press.
I should’ve pressed.
—
18/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Dear Diary,
Joshua is so sneaky.
Practice was moved — or so I thought.
Only Soonyoung showed up.
The rest of the team rolled in later, all pretending to be clueless.
I saw Joshua wink at me.
He planned this.
And I almost said it.
I really did.
I was going to tell him. Not the whole truth. Just something close.
Just, “I like hanging out with you.”
Or, “I always look forward to our snack runs.”
Or, “You make me feel like maybe I’m not crazy for hoping.”
But it got caught in my throat.
And instead I said, “Never mind.”
I hate how close it was.
He looked at me like he was ready to hear it.
Like he’d been ready.
Joshua gave me a window. And I shut it.
Why am I like this?
—
21/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
Joshua “accidentally” gave us the wrong directions to the café.
I know he did.
There’s no way that man confuses left with “just head down that alley behind the record shop and you’ll see it.”
Soonyoung and I ended up walking through half the neighborhood, wandering into a street market, sharing samples from a tteok stall like we were on a drama set.
We didn’t rush.
He didn’t even try to find the café after a while.
He just kept talking. Asking questions he already knew the answers to.
“Your favorite flower is still hydrangeas, right?”
“Wait, didn’t you say you hate mint chocolate?”
“I remember you said that song reminded you of summer. Why summer?”
He remembers everything.
And then, it happened.
We were standing under a cherry blossom tree near the bus stop. Pink petals caught in his hair.
I reached up to brush one off, and he grabbed my wrist.
Not hard. Just… held it.
He said, “Y/N.”
And then he broke.
Like he couldn’t keep it in anymore.
He said:
“I like you. Not as a friend. Not as a practice partner. I think about you all the time. I wait for your messages. I say dumb things just to make you laugh. I— I wasn’t supposed to say it like this.”
He looked terrified.
Like he thought I’d run.
I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
All I could do was whisper, “I know.”
And then: “Me too.”
He smiled like the sun came out.
And then the bus arrived.
We never even got to the café.
But I don’t think it mattered.
We got somewhere better.
—
21/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
I told her.
I actually told her.
I thought I’d explode.
I thought the petals falling between us were mocking me like, “look at this idiot, about to ruin everything.”
But she didn’t run.
She said “me too.”
I keep hearing it in my head. Over and over.
I said it messy. I said it nervous. I said it like a boy who's been falling in love quietly for months and finally hit the ground.
And she was already there waiting.
We didn’t even get our snacks.
But I don’t care.
She likes me back.
She likes me back.
—
24/04/2024
Diary Entry – Y/N
He waited outside my studio with two bags of hotteok.
Didn’t even say hi at first. Just grinned and held them up like a peace offering.
Like, “Hi, I confessed my feelings under a cherry blossom tree, now take this pancake.”
We walked to the same park bench we always used to go to.
But this time, we sat closer. Shoulders brushing.
We still talked like before — about dance, stupid group chat memes, Seungkwan’s dramatic rants — but it felt different.
More deliberate.
More… ours.
He gave me the last bite of his hotteok.
He always used to fake-argue over who got the last piece.
This time, he didn’t. Just held it out and smiled like it was the easiest thing in the world.
When I wiped powdered sugar off his cheek with my sleeve, he went completely quiet.
Then he said:
“This feels like everything I didn’t know I was missing.”
And honestly?
Same.
We haven’t kissed yet.
But I think we’re building up to it.
And for once, I don’t mind waiting.
I’m not scared of slow anymore.
Not with him.
—
24/04/2024
Practice Notes – Soonyoung’s Journal
“First official snack date.”
That’s what I wrote in my planner. In all caps. Circled twice.
I showed up too early. Paced around the block. Almost ate the hotteok out of nerves.
She looked tired when she came out of the studio, but when she saw me, she smiled like I was exactly what she needed.
We sat at our bench.
And everything felt familiar but new.
Like we were rereading a favorite book, but suddenly noticing all the feelings between the lines.
She wiped sugar off my cheek and I almost forgot how to breathe.
I wanted to kiss her.
But I didn’t.
I just held her hand instead.
Small, simple.
But she squeezed back.
And that was enough to set my whole chest on fire.
We’ve danced through so many songs together.
But I think we’re finally learning this one — the one just for us.
Step by step.
Beat by beat.