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There were certain things Rosie enjoyed. She enjoys a good cup of tea, a chat between friends, and some competition (all in good fun of course). Just this morning, she’d had a playful bet with her friend (partner?) about who Eden liked more. Eden - the cutie-pie of a snake that was currently draped as a scarf around Rosie’s neck - did actually prefer Lucifer. He was warm, soft, and his shoulders made for a better perch.
Rosie, however, was very good at giving Eden little treats and pats while she was laying on Rosie’s shoulders. Eden loved a long, gentle stroke down her head and over her neck (she did not like anyone near the underside of her chin but only Angel Dust had ever tried that). She would rub against Rosie’s hands and taste the air when others were around to see if they were bothering Rosie at all simply because a bothered Rosie did not have time for petting.
Which means that when Rosie offered her arm to Eden for her to climb up, Eden chipperly obliged. Lucifer, the sad angel, pouted and Rosie simply had to kiss his cheek. He was cute when he pouted.
So, Rosie sits at the Overlord Meeting with a lovely, warm necklace that she pets as everyone else talks. If she stops petting, Eden moves and Rosie would rather she didn’t leave Rosie’s shoulders while outside the house.
“I propose--”
“Oh, now the flaming skull talks. This should be good, Voxxie.” Valentino leans back while smoking. He takes up a lot of space in the room. This would be impressive, given it has plenty of space for every Overlord (it has to be with Zeezi around), but he still takes up more than almost anyone else in an egregious manner. It’s not his presence, simply his lack of care for anyone around him. Vox sits beside him perfectly reasonably (even if he sits with a man spread that Rosie has to roll her eyes at), so it’s a Valentino thing.
She exchanges looks with Zestial, and when she rolls her eyes, he stifles a smile. They know each other well enough that he recognizes her different eye rolls (though it had taken him some time to realize she was rolling her eyes at all). Carmilla glares at them both to tell them to shut up and not talk across the room.
They just enjoy a good conversation! It’s not their fault everyone else is boring.
Zestial’s eyes flick to her snake, and she offers a smirk.
Valentino is saying something else, but she ignores him. She always ignores him for the most part, and typically he isn’t here, but today she has even less care for him. He’s brutish and dumb at best, a sexual harasser at next best, and annoying. Instead of looking at or responding to him, Rosie lifts a finger, as if in thought, and taps at the blush she’s put on her cheeks.
She gets the delightful view of Zestial’s eyes widening and his smile peeking out from behind his placid mask. Carmilla taps a foot and they stop looking at each other to watch Valentino blow smoke in Trinfur’s direction. Poor Trinfur. The bastard. Rosie hates him, but no one deserves to deal with Valentino.
Well, Trinfur might. She wasn’t dependent on him for medical supplies anymore, but he was still a bastard.
Rosie narrows her eyes in his direction but quickly stops when Eden turns to look at him. No, little snake, he’s fine. Fine. She pets Eden a little more, giving a small skritch on the top of her head, and she settles.
When Valentino finds that Trinfur is not taking any bait, he turns to the rest of the overlords and huffs. His eyes scan the room, and Rosie smells trouble the instant they land on Alastor and his smile stretches wide. “Oh, Alastor, I have a message for my whore hiding in that ratty hotel of yours.”
Alastor hums in the way that Rosie knows is a shrug. Alastor doesn’t shrug in polite company, but he’s willing to hum and hem with the best of them. “I was under the understanding that you had a perfectly functional phone, good man!” With a wave of his hand, Alastor dismisses Valentino completely. Utterly. “Angel is certainly always on that annoying device.”
Valentino is a vindictive man. Rosie and everyone present know he has the maturity of a toddler denied the toy they want to put in their mouth and swallow. His eyes narrow at Alastor and he replaces his cigarette while putting an arm over his chest. "Well, if you're not fond of being a good little errand boy, maybe I should pay a visit to that shoddy hotel of yours? It's open to everyone, isn't it?"
A burst of bored, static-laced, tinned laughter echoes in the room; Alastor doesn’t respond and just looks at Rosie with a raised eyebrow and a quick dart of the eyes in Valentino’s direction. Rosie snorts.
It’s the next thing Valentino says that has Rosie’s teeth growing in size. He’s an idiot-manbaby and Rosie knows he’s not good enough to eat, but damn does he need to shut the fuck up before she drags him to Cannibal Town and throws him to the wolves. He stands abruptly and slams two hands on the table, snarling, “Or how about I burn it down around your fucking ears? That little cunt leader of yours still owes me for that damn stunt in my studio.”
Static builds in Rosie’s ears as she stares at Valentino. There are few things that break Rosie’s patience completely. She’s not one to turn and snap unless buttons are pushed and Danyella is typically the one to do the pushing. Charlie and Lucifer are two of the buttons that Rosie can’t help but defend with her entire being. It takes every ounce of her self-discipline not to lunge across the table and sink her teeth into Valentino’s neck .
She missed some of the conversation while she put a lid on her anger.
“You shouldn’t make threats you can’t back up, good chum!” Alastor laughs, and it sounds a little more cutting, a little more laced with warning. Vox starts to look between Valentino and Alastor with a touch of concern. In a fight, Alastor would win. Rosie and everyone else know it. Valentino is a trash overlord running a trash district. He relies on manipulation, drugs, and brute force to keep his souls in line, and he can’t write a contract worth a damn.
Angel Dust slipped through his fingers like water. His most valuable asset.
The fool.
Alastor, who has much tighter control over everything and who almost took on Adam as an equal, is much harder to kill. Rosie takes a deep breath and continues her petting of Eden. It’s so nice that the little snake enjoys being an emotional rock.
“Of course, another option is you could have the Princessa call me up if she wants to be properly taken for a good ride,” Valentino giggles maliciously as he blows a smoke ring in Alastor’s direction. “Your tiny dick obviously can’t do the job.”
Rosie blinks in Valentino’s direction. Alastor’s static drops out for a second and Vox turns his head to stare, baffled at Valentino. Did she just hear that correctly?
“Why would I want to have sex with Charlie? You've met her, yes?" Alastor waves a hand in Valentino’s direction . Even you wouldn’t have sex with a child is the implied meaning. Rosie doesn’t know if Valentino is smart enough to pick up the subtext.
Vox grunts. His voice is low as his claws sink into the wood of the table and sparks come off his head. “Val.”
Valentino scoffs. “This again, Voxxie? Just because the red bastardo blueballed you doesn't mean he doesn't plow someone. ”
Vox glitches hard, his screen blinking out for a second and then his eyes glow as he glares in Valentino’s direction. Words aren’t said, but the two face off as Alastor sits in confusion. He doesn’t understand what Valentino is saying, but Rosie does. Rosie understands clearly.
Valentino has no standards. Nothing to stop him from trying to take what he wants in the most brutal fashion possible. Rosie is struggling to keep her teeth in her mouth. All she can think of is Charlie’s smile as she sees Rosie entering the hotel. Charlie is part of Rosie’s family now, and Valentino is not allowed to touch her.
“Eden. My lovely little snake.” Rosie murmurs and glances at Zestial out of the corner of her eye. He raises an eyebrow. They’re lucky Carmilla is distracted, or she would absolutely step between the two of them. She flicks her eyes from Valentino and taps at Eden’s head once more. She gives Zestial a small tilt of her head.
He pauses mid-sip of his tea and blinks at her. It takes less than a second for him to flick his eyes to Valentino and back to Rosie before his eyes light up and a grin splits his face in two. It’s so wide that the glow of his mouth peeks through and his eyes turn into crescents. Alastor, beside Rosie, stiffens.
Zestial hides his expression before anyone else can notice.
Carmilla’s head snaps in their direction and she glares . Rosie blinks innocently, just trying to look like she’s not planning quite the devilish act (oh, that one is good, she should tell that one to Lucifer). Zestial, in Rosie’s peripherals, gives a slow blink with each of his eyes in Carmilla’s direction. Rosie sees their cups disappear for a split second and has to hold back a laugh.
The displeasure on Carmilla’s face is plain as day to people who have been talking via facial expressions for the past 100 meetings. She steps closer to Zestial, just enough that she can look at him without it being suspicious or disrupting the flow of conversation, and gives him a look that can only be described as ‘knowing’.
There’s a single moment where Zestial shows her his glee, a blink of time, and then Carmilla turns and chugs her tea. Rosie has a gut feeling it’s not tea based on the expression on Carmilla’s face.
A low level of chittering joins the radio static of the room. Alastor elbows Rosie. He always knows when she’s up to something, but she doesn’t want to be stopped today. She ignores it and glares at Valentino while petting Eden. It would be best for him to wait to mention Charlie again. That way, he knows exactly why what she plans is happening.
“Rosie.” Alastor hisses in her direction as the sound of something skittering across the floor increases in volume (and this whole time Vox and Val keep up their little staring contest and Rosie does get some amusement out of that). The shadow of a spider can be seen amongst Alastor’s shadows if one pays attention. He keeps his voice low enough not to disrupt the Overlord currently talking. She TOLD him to work on his nonverbal communication. He was so bad at it. It made sense, since he was so focused on audio. “Do not do whatever it is you’re planning.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She whispers. She can’t tap him since her hand is occupied with petting Eden. If she could, she would tap his hand to assure him.
Before he can say another word, he has a shiver roll through him and he gives the softest, smallest, bleat of warning as something spikes into the air. Something dark and ominous. The shadows turn fuzzy and darken. Hisses pop around them and blanket Alastor’s radio sounds. The people in the room who know Alastor’s sounds look at him with confusion. He never makes those noises.
The people who know Zestial start to look nervous.
When Valentino smirks and turns to open his mouth again, somehow having beaten Vox in their little spat, Rosie decides to act. She doesn’t need to hear anymore. She doesn’t want to hear anymore.
“Eden, my beautiful girl, did you hear that? He threatened Charlie.” Rosie whispers while doing long strokes over Eden’s head and neck.
Eden warms around Rosie’s neck, her head lifting and pointing towards Valentino. Vox, beside Valentino and now paying attention to the moving necklace Rosie has, starts to tug at Valentino’s raised arm. Valentino continues talking and ignores Vox’s attempted warning. Eden feels a little heavier around Rosie’s shoulders, a little bigger. Rosie didn’t know she could get bigger.
The head under Rosie’s hand is now the size of her hand . That’s interesting. Well, Rosie has always been a stubborn bitch. She’s not going to stop encouraging Eden just because of a little size difference. It’s also just very entertaining to see Eden bite someone.
“I know, rude, right? Angel told me that he also licked her arm without her consent. Lucky our girl is half succubus, so the aphrodisiac in his saliva doesn't do anything to her.” Suddenly, Eden is not around Rosie’s neck. She lunges across the room, growing more in size until she’s as long as Rosie’s height, and wraps around Valentino’s body. Her size increases more, her head rears up as she hisses, and then Vox grabs at her.
She turns and bites into Vox’s head.
Electricity arcs through the room as Vox’s head shakes and glitches. His face turns into an array of colors in sharp lines. When Eden pulls away with a hiss (probably at the taste of him -- Rosie has had a taste and it is NOT good), Vox collapses forward onto the table. His head shudders and shakes for a few seconds before it lies dormant.
Zestial summons a chair, and Carmilla sits in it with a sigh. She leans onto an elbow and shakes her teacup in his direction. He taps it with his own, and Carmilla gives a nod before sipping.
A margarita appears before Rosie, so she summons her pink ottoman to kick up her feet. With a snap of her fingers, she summons her pink curly straw and sticks it in the slush. She tips it in Zestial’s direction before taking a sip. Perfect. More alcohol than mix. She knew she could count on that man.
The wall breaks when Valentino struggles to free himself as Eden grows larger to trap him more effectively. Her scales shine in the daylight, turning iridescent as she continues to grow.
///
Lucifer is having an alright day! He got up with Rosie and they ate breakfast. Eden chose Rosie to hang out with for the day, which was a blow to the old ego, but at least he got work done. He called Ozzie about a shipment that had been delayed on its way to Pride. He texted Bell and reported in that he HAS been taking his meds, thank you very much; and then he opened a portal and tossed a bottle of Earth Honey directly into Bee’s face because he lost a bet.
Success!
He leans onto the bar and sighs with relief. Of course he did other things. Signing documents and sending letters hardly felt like work when the daunting task of calling someone was also on his to-do list.
Husk nods in his direction and hands him a whiskey. Joy! He clinks his whiskey glass against Husk’s flask and they both drink.
“Hey, Daaaaaadd.” He spins to see Charlie giving him an awkward smile and tapping her index fingers together. “So. I have a question.”
“Shoot, Charlie!” Lucifer loves getting to answer Charlie’s questions. Makes him feel like an actual dad. “You know your old man is always willing to answer.”
She hums and stares at him for a moment. When she does speak, it’s slow and enunciated in a way that makes him feel like she’s hiding something. Something he should be concerned about. “Can Eden get big?”
Something in the back of his head starts to claw its way forward. He knows something is wrong. Charlie has seen Eden get bigger. She should know this. “Of course she can! Why do you ask?”
A short and somewhat stunted laugh escapes Charlie. “Right.” She gestures with a hand in his direction. “So, uh, h-how big… can she get?”
Lucifer stares for a second as the thing clawing its way forward is a reminder that Eden is with Rosie. Eden, the snake his child is asking about, only gets big in defense of the person they’re with. Eden, his snake, is with his friend (partner?). Rosie has Eden. “As big as she wants. Charlie, seriously, why are you asking?”
The next words that come out of Charlie’s mouth are barely understandable with how fast she speaks. “She just bit Valentino.”
He stares at her. Did Valentino attack Rosie? The worry in his head has his mouth running away from him. “ Bit, or ATE, Ducky? There's a world of difference, and I wanna know if I need to call Bells for antacids.”
“I think it’s just bit. Will he be okay?” She doesn’t look very concerned despite the question. He hopes Rosie is okay. There’s no way she let Valentino, the idiot, near her in any way, shape, or form. It’s impossible.
He talks while tapping the bar counter. He and Husk exchange a glance. “Well, he's an Overlord; he should regenerate once the venom stops deconstructing him at a molecular level.”
Just as Charlie nods, looking somewhat relieved, and really that only makes Lucifer more stressed, the main doors slam open and Angel Dust looks around the room with a wild look in his eyes. When they land on Lucifer, an extra dose of anxiety runs through Lucifer’s body.
“Yes, Angel?” Lucifer exchanges another glance with Husk.
Angel walks across the room in less time than it takes Lucifer to blink, and then his hands are on Lucifer’s shoulders as a wicked grin splits his face. “You have to let me use your snake next time I go into work.”
“What?” Lucifer feels so cold right now. Rosie. Rosie is with Eden, and everyone is talking about Eden. “What happened?”
“You haven’t seen it?” Angel is practically vibrating as he pulls out his phone and shoves it into Lucifer’s face. A live stream is going from Velvette’s sinstagram. She’s narrating, emojis fly across the screen, donation notifications go up, and behind all of that is Eden destroying downtown Pride.
Oh. No .
Lucifer ignores everyone else and teleports to Rosie. Eden only gets that big when someone in the family is in danger, and she only plays with her food when they’ve already done harm.
He’s in a room with the Overlords. There’s a rather large hole in the wall, the table is burnt, and Rosie has kicked up her feet on her ottoman. She’s fine . She’s laughing with Zestial, the two of them poking at Carmilla and gesturing out the hole in the wall. Carmilla has a bottle of some alcohol that she’s drinking from, and Rosie has a margarita. It’s as red as blood. She’s put her pink straw in it.
She’s fucking fine .
He puts his hands on his hips and sighs - even he’s not sure whether it’s in relief or exasperation, honestly - Rosie freezes and whips her head around to make eye contact with him. The instant she sees him, she blurts out, “I didn’t do it.”
With another sigh, he puts one hand to his temple to massage out the headache and gestures in the direction of the hole in the wall with the other.
“He threatened Charlie.” Rosie sips her margarita and shrugs. “I think Eden’s being nice since she hasn’t done more than squeeze him and throw him around right now.”
“He what?” Lucifer feels anger rising and blotting out his thoughts. Red. Red is starting to creep into his vision at the thought of some no-name, bad-mouthed, bitch of an Overlord who couldn’t take a punch if he tried getting ANYWHERE near Charlie.
Rosie shrugs again. She knows that riles him up. She knows him so well and he loves her for it. She sips her margarita. “Called her a cunt too. Eden doesn’t know what that means, though.”
Lucifer’s wings pop out of his back and then he’s moving through the hole in the wall. He flaps a few times and then lands amidst a pile of rubble. Eden really is playing with Valentino as she throws him up in the air with her tail and lets him land on the concrete. Lucifer whistles.
She instantly turns and creates a circle around him to get her head as close to him as possible. She butts her nose up against his chest and he runs a hand over the middle of her head.
“Hey, girl.” Her head is bigger than he is at this point, and she blinks at him with those big eyes of hers. He smiles and dips his head down to tap his horns against the fangs she extends in greeting. “You’re having fun without me? Eden, my good girl, how could you do that to me?”
Eden butts her head against him hard enough he stumbles. He can feel her bloodlust, can feel her satisfaction at her playtime, and he feels the anger she still has in her heart. With a laugh, he has to extend his arms to give her a pat that reaches her high standards.
“Can I join?” He puts his hands on the sides of her head and delights in her slow blink. “Excellent.”
Valentino is standing now. He’s cursing something. Yelling about something. Shaking his fist at Eden and extending his wings to fly away.
“I heard you threatened my daughter!” Lucifer’s wings extend more as Eden turns her head. She hisses, her fangs popping out while his wings reach full extension and he laughs. “And that you met Eden! Isn’t she a good girl?”
There’s a helicopter circling. Lucifer doesn’t care. He grins and waves a hand in Eden’s direction. “She’s been playing with her food and waiting for me. Should I give her permission to eat you?”
His voices surround Valentino. The world around them is Lucifer, his voices layering over everything and drowning out the sounds of the city. Only Eden’s slithering body layering over itself can be heard as she moves closer to her prey.
Now Valentino looks properly scared. He opens his mouth, trying to negotiate, but instead there’s nothing. Lucifer doesn’t care for empty words. “Eden?”
Eden’s head rears back.
“You get the first hit.”
///
Rosie watches Lucifer and Eden play catch with Valentino. Valentino has been bitten, burned, slung around and tossed into the air, and still Lucifer keeps him conscious. Damn, she loves that angel. She sighs as she watches him and enjoys his laugh that echoes across the city.
“You’re paying for the hole in my wall.” Carmilla is at the bottom of her bottle. It seems to be a tequila of some sort. Rosie doesn’t know her tequila, but she knows Carmilla has high standards and does not get tipsy unless it’s the good stuff. “And you!” -- She points at Zestial with an almost silly smile. -- “You owe me a month of dinners.”
“Woe is me to face such results of my actions. I shall never recover.” Zestial sips his tea and throws a wink in Rosie’s direction.
“I’m sure Lucifer will be more than happy to summon you a new wall.” Rosie finishes her third margarita and goes back to watching her angel. “I could watch him all day.”
“Rosie.” Carmilla mutters and shakes her bottle in Zestial’s direction. Another bottle appears on the table and she grabs it. “Just fuck him already.”
Rosie chokes on her margarita and slaps at her chest to get the slush mix out of her throat. “Carm!”
“You do everything together. You wear Eden as a scarf.” Carmilla’s voice is perfectly flat. Her eyes show amusement, and she smirks in Rosie’s direction. “We both know good partners don’t come around often.” Zestial gets an elbow from Carmilla. “So, take advantage. Make sure he doesn’t get away.”
Valentino crashes into the table and Vox. His bleeding, broken, and frankly disgusting body gives off a groan.
“My fucking table,” Carmilla mutters and takes another swig of her drink. “You’re paying for that too.”
“Sure thing. Carm.” Rosie drawls, watching as Lucifer lands in the room with Eden back in his crown. He puts his hands on his hips. “Hey, Sunshine” -- Carmilla smirks at Rosie’s endearment and Rosie blushes like a schoolgirl with a fucking crush. -- “did you have fun?”
“Yeah!” Lucifer’s horns vanish and Rosie already misses them. “It’s always fun to get in a little warm-up with Eden. Haven’t gotten to fight with her in ages.” Another sigh escapes him as he rolls his shoulders. “Oh! Carmicita?”
“We are not speaking until my wall and table are fixed.” Carmilla deadpans and gestures with her non-bottle-holding hand at the wall. Lucifer rolls his eyes, snaps his fingers, and everything is perfect again. Outside the two bodies on the table. “Proceed.”
“Did you want me to kill him or just send him to Vee tower?” Lucifer shrugs. “I don’t care at this point.”
The sound that comes from Carmilla (a strangled and rather upset grunt) almost makes Rosie snort. She resists because she doesn’t want Carmilla to have Zestial take away her fourth margarita. Carmilla sighs. “I suppose you shouldn’t be seen killing Overlords. Unfortunately. Will you send those two to the tower?”
“Two?” Lucifer blinks, Rosie really thinks he’s so cute when he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and then looks at the table and narrows his eyes. He laughs. “Oh, she got two of ‘em? What a good girl.”
Eden butts her head against Lucifer’s chin as she slides down to Lucifer’s shoulders. With a snap, Vox and Valentino are gone.
Lucifer claps and rubs his hands together. “Same time next month?”
“I will hunt you down with angelic steel.” Carmilla points a finger at Lucifer. “You didn’t come to teatime.”
“I was busy!”
Rosie watches them argue and sighs. This is good. This is fun. She needs more relaxing days.