Chapter Text
Donatello knows what’s about to come. And he is not excited at ALL.
He can tell by the sheer silence outside his lab with only footsteps outside to be heard.Hoping to escape the fate handed to him he digs further into the work on his desk maybe if he does enough Leo will forget and he won’t face any consequences! Even though this is proven not true it doesn’t matter.
All the work he did to stay on top. Why it can’t just end because of this. No. This isn’t how his story is supposed to go. He just has to wait a bit more, surely Leo will forget! Right? Not this time. He finally relaxed for the first time in a while until he hears the voice.
“Donnie! Family meeting in 5. Meet at the Dojo.” He could tell that was Leo even with the soundproof doors to the lab blocking out half the noise. Besides when you are prepared for something you shouldn’t be surprised when it actually happens. Can you?
Walking to the Dojo knowing what’s coming was like a death sentence and knowing he was walking in alone was even worse. Every step felt like tension pulling him back. Telling him to go. Telling him it can’t be that bad. There’s no changing fate once you accept it though. Especially in the mind of an Over-thinker, pessimistic, and Weak turtle. Maybe Mikey. But not Donnie, never him.
He walks in to his greatest nightmare like a league of Judges looking down on his crimes sentencing him to being forever guilty no matter what he did. This is when the picking started. Nervous habits kicked in as he went up and took a deep bow. Picking the skin off a spot of his fingers as he sat down in front of his father and brothers all watching him like a million eyed in the dark. At least he had a few milliseconds to prepare before the lecture began.
“Donatello” you could hear Splinters voice boom across the Dojo not much louder than usual though. Like just mildly annoyed that his kid is taking up his time, *Leonardo is telling me that on the mission yesterday you disbanded from your team, almost got yourself killed, and was close to killing a human being BEFORE your brother had to come in and stopped you. Does that sound correct?”
“Hai Sense-“ but before Donatello could finish his words or completely explain his side of the story he was cut off. He knew this wouldn’t be good. When splinter the calmest man on earth interpreted someone he was ROYALLY
pissed. So with that, he got more nervous by a second, the picking of the skin off his finger became a bit more repetitive. Not to bad though so it should be fine. Right?
“Donatello I’m extremely dissatisfied with you. You’re a Ninja and a smart one at that. I can’t believe you would try to do that. No matter what there is no explanation that can make what you did better. Yet since this is not a matter of my own I don’t have a say in this.” He started, “I’ve already got the perspectives of your brothers and while I do believe in chances almost killing a human being over a feud is not ok. That is something someone from the foot clan would do. That is not Hamato way.”
Donatello gets more nervous by the second. Being compared to the foot clan?! The people who’ve been out to get them who almost killed him and his family multiple times, he’s as bad as the foot clan if only he could say his truth. So the picking persists and he speeds up some more into a rhythm, Pick, Pick, Pick, It should be fine besides, whenever he is picking at his skin it usually only opens up a small cut that’s worth the stress reliever during the moment. “But Sensei He tried to kill me!” He manages to squeak out scared to be in even more trouble.
“Enough Donatello. NOTHING is worth almost killing a human being. Since I was not there though I will leave it up to Leonardo on what to do. I’d advise suspending you from the team but it is not my place to say this time.” At those words Donatello deflated as the Picking sped up more and more violent like a constant noise in the background always playing. “The team should be able to adjust without you but Leonardo may think otherwise so I will have a private discussion with him to see if suspending you from missions is the right choice.”
Donatello himself was not paying attention to that last part but he knew what Splinter meant. Yet his brain was filled to much with the picking of his skin to notice anything else. Including the rapid bleeding from the spot he was picking at on his hand.
As splinter finished up his lecture asking others what to do Donatello was in A trans-like state not really paying attention but just picking. Picking at his skin trying to relieve the stress that was happening. It almost seemed like he couldn’t hear anything. His ears drowned with mumbles until something finally came through to his ears.
“Hey dudes…. Donnie’s hand is bleeding. Like REALLY bad. I think we should talk about this after he goes to the med.” Mikey said with noticeable concern because when Donnie looked down for the first time all conversation he saw it. His hand was covered in blood. His green skin becoming completely crimson red with blood seeping out from the place he was currently picking at
He was so tired. So exhausted from this conversation all he was able to mutter out was just a simple, “Oh. It is bleeding.” And with that he finally semi snapped back to reality with everything weighing on him again.
“Leonardo take your brother to the Med bay we will discuss this later.” Splinters voice slowly faded away as Leo helped Donatello get up from his seat on the floor and walking closer to the med bay with Leo
At this point Donnie was crushed. All he was good for was doing tech things for the team. And he might get suspended? Because of one mistake. One mistake is all it takes. His legs felt like Jelly as he was walking to the med bay with Leo giving him an awkward side hug. Then all the sudden Donnie just realized what happened and…Oh. He was crying. He wanted to say something to Leo. Anything to just try to prove what he did wasn’t as bad as they thought. But he couldn’t get anything but a simple, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to be like that.” Between full on sobs. He wanted to say something else anything else but he couldn’t. He was choking on his own tears trying to say the simplest sentences.
All Leo responded with on the walk to the Med bay was just, “Shhhh it’s ok. Just take deep breaths for now.” By the time they got to the med bay it felt like Donnie had been doing a walk of shame for 5 hours and as soon as Leo was there. He wasn’t anymore. As he bandaged up his badly bleeding hand and washed the blood off.. Everywhere.he just thought to himself.
How is it fair? How am I different? Why am I different. I’m the only one who has to take responsibility for this. I’m the only one with something to lose. They’re all not replaceable on the team. I am. So why me. Was all he could think while wrapping up his wound. I guess the only punishment in trouble is for the people that have something. Because they have something to lose. Everyone else doesn’t. That’s why he was crying. The only ones who had something to take got punished. How sad the truth hurts he thought.
But a little voice in his head reminded him, “What’s the matter? Nothing got left for you anyway.”