Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Blood. Blood was everywhere. All over his clothes, on his face, in his hair. Eyes widened in clear shock as he froze. He couldn’t move; he couldn’t breathe. How could he? It was staring right at him.

Bakugou had always been a bully. He was mean, he was cruel. His parents turned a blind eye, the teachers couldn’t see, and his friends never heard the anguished cries of Midoriya. Too afraid to be next, they kept ten feet away. Always watching. Never moving. But then, one week away before school was over, something happened…

Bakugou couldn’t explain it. One-minute Midoriya was his normal cheerful irritating self, and then the next he was silent, distraught and distracted. At first no one batted an eye. Why would they? Midoriya had always been a strange boy. He talked constantly; he watched silently and had nearly always muttered to himself like a lunatic.

People brushed him off and he stood under the radar. Kept to himself. Nearly never made a sound. But Bakugou wasn’t an idiot. He’s known Izuku since they were kids. There’s no way he wouldn’t notice as soon as he’s seen the signs. Him and Midoriya have known each other for too long, it was almost shocking Midoriya had first gone silent. It wasn't that surprising though as he almost never spoke unless spoken too. Then Bakugou noticed how much more fidgetedy he became. For example, Midoriya had always been a little nervous but whatever was happening was strange.

Bakugou had thrown him to the ground, laughing with his friends as they watched Midoriya shiver with fear. But then Bakugou noticed that Midoriya wasn't looking at them, he was looking next to him, staring up with the most terrified look he'd ever seen before flinching and looking away, closing his eyes. Bakugou slightly looked next to him and saw nothing there. Now he was annoyed because why wasn't that stupid loser paying attention to him? "Stupid nerd, what are looking at? And why aren't you paying attention to me?" Bakugou grabbed his shirt and held his hand up, ready to blast him all the way to hell when Midoriya shook his head and finally opened his eyes. He looked frazzled and confused before muttering about how he's fine.

After that day, Bakugou paid close attention to him. The rest of the week passed as Bakugou watched Midoriya become a nervous and paranoid wreak. And although Bakugou wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was worried and terribly afraid. Every single time he tried to subtly ask what was wrong, Midoriya refused to answer, others somehow "never noticed" and teachers thought he was being dramatic. He tried to bring it up to his parents, but they refused to speak about Midoriya, his parents scolding him for being insensitive. He wanted to ask auntie Inko but he somehow hasn't seen her in a week. Something about this felt entirely off. Bakugou even remembered a time where he heard Midoriya muttering but, it wasn't like his usual muttering, no, this was.... frantic.

"They don't matter, she doesn't matter, I don't matter. I'm going to die, she's going to die, we're going to die, I don't matter, I don't matter, I don't matter, I don't matter, I don't matter, I don't matter..." Over and over and over again nonstop. Until Bakugou managed to make him snap out of it. It all boiled over one day. The class was discussing what future schools they wanted to attend. That day, Midoriya was late for some reason. Bakugou remembers noticing that Midoriya's seat was specifically broken, one of the legs was missing a screw. He had walked in and Bakugou nearly choked. His eyes were bloodshot like he had been crying, his hair was disheveled and messy, and his clothes were crumbled and unkept. There were an unimaginable amount of scars and scratches all over his arms and face. His hands were bandaged and there was a band aid on his right cheek.

The teacher had asked were he'd been and Izuku did not response. He only sat down at his seat and stared out of the window. The teacher, in complete shock, decided to just move on that day. 30 minutes into the class, the class goes around saying where they want to go and Bakugou says UA along with Midoriya. The class erupts into laughter, and they all begin to tell him how could never get in with him being quirkless. Bakugou goes up to him and attempts to blow him up when suddenly, Midoriya lets out the most blood curling scream the class has ever heard. They immediately cover their ears with their hands as Bakugou slightly steps back looking completely shocked. "No no no no no no Get away from me!" Midoirya screams.

"What the hell?' Bakugou says. He attempts to move forward again when Midoriya suddenly pulls out a knife, shakily pointing it at Bakugou. Bakugou quickly steps back. "Nerd what the hell are you doing?!" Modoriya waves the knife around wildly as Bakugou tries to move forward again. "No, you stay the fuck away from me. Get away!" Midoriya swings the knife again, nearly hitting Bakugou who quickly throws himself back. "What the fuck nerd?!" "Shut up shut up Just shut the fuck up! Leave me alone! What the fuck are you? Why won't you leave me alone.?!" Angry tears stream down his face as he tries to swing at Bakugou again who blast the knife out of his hands. Midoriya screams in pain and throw himself on Bakugou and begins to choke him. "Shut up shut up!" Finally, the teacher has the grand idea to tackle Izuku who just screams and yells.

"Keep him the fuck away from me! Let me go! It's going to kill me! Help help!" Tears rapidly fall down his face as he sobs out pleas to leave him alone, to help him, save him.

Bakugou sits up, coughing his lungs off as he just tries to process what happened. He looked to where the teacher was dragging a screaming Midoriya out and shakily sighs. He completely ignores his friends trying to help him and continue looking at the door.

Hours go by and schools finally over. Bakugou can't get over what happened out of his head. the screaming, the yelling, the pleading. It all felt so surreal as he walked out of his middle school building, hind wondering. What was that? Why was Midoriya acting like that? Did something happen? And does it have to do with his mom?

Bakugou started to walk when he heard his name being called and looked up. Was that?.... Midoriya?!?! What the hell?! Bakugou was about to either run to go get someone or just yell at the nerd himself when noticed something,,, Midoriya was smiling. Not his usual one either. It was wide, his eyes were empty and something about the smile made Bakugou shiver and stop in his tracks. He had no choice but to watch as fell off the roof, plummeting down until he hit the ground right in front of Bakugou. Blood splattered everywhere. on the ground, on his clothes, his face....

he didn't hear when a kid had screamed out in horror, he didn't hear the sirens, the chatter, the panic. He didn't hear his parents running to him, didn't feel their arms around him. His face was drained of color as he stared at Midoriya. Empty cold dead eyes but that smile wedged on his face, engraved in Bakugou's brain as he stood there trembling.

He was taken to the police station with his parents where they took his statement about what happened. It was all a blur. But one thing was for sure, that smile, the grin. It would be stuck in his head for days the next few days to come.

Chapter Text

Bakugou has never been the type of person to admit he's scared. It takes a lot to even get him to admit that he feels anything other than anger. And as much as he doesn't want to, he'll admit this one time, he is extremely terrified. Walking into that classroom after yesterday was terrifying. Bakugou didn't let it show but he shook as he stood in front of that classroom, barely listening to what the teacher was saying. He shivered. Goddamit. Maybe he should've taken up the hag's offer to stay home... Whatever. He was already here and present. Plus, he's never been absent a day in his life. Might as well just deal with it. He sighed as he went to go sit in his seat, loudly talking to the extras next to him. Hoping to bring some form of normalcy back to his life after yesterday happened. He growled and let out sparks from his hand as some of his classmates asked him if he was fine. 

It was those two extras that Bakugou honestly couldn't remember the name of, but he knows they follow him around like a bunch of fans. Treating him as if he was the next all might (as they should).

"I'm fine you annoying extras" He rolled his eyes outwardly but inside he felt a mixture of feelings he couldn't identify. Eh best to not think of it then. "We were just trying to make sure man since that Deku kil-" Bakugou didn't even let him finish the sentence before he shot out explosions in that extras face. Who was he to say that about Deku hah? Deku may have been a useless nobody following him around trying to get his attention, but that didn't give that extra any right to talk about it while he was... well... Whatever! Insensitive pricks. Bakugou thought as he narrowed his eyes at the extra. 

"Shut the hell up Extra!" Bakugou yelled at the kid. Why the hell did he keep this kid around him again? Oh yeah, because they did whatever he said without questioning his authority because they don't want to be on the receiving end of his quirk. Well, they were fucking annoying. And honestly they were starting to irk his nerves. He definitely wouldn't admit it out loud, but he absolutely was starting to miss stupid Deku already. Crazy when you think about huh? Speaking of Deku, Bakugou couldn't shake off that something was wrong about the way he died. He told the police and heroes yesterday that it was suicide but honestly? Bakugou didn't feel like it was. While he couldn't technically say it was murder because he did it front of him, Bakugou still found it weird.

And that smile? It was a smile yeah, but it felt uncanny, not human. It felt strange and gave him a nightmare the next day. It was fucking unatural. Almost like a demon or some type of weird quirk Bakugou couldn't explain. Whatever. If he couldn't explain it then it wasn't his problem. Plus, he should probably worry about the work in front of him that he absolutely didn't hear that they were supposed to do. He looked down at the paper and tsked as he started his work. Although, as he was doing it, he began to shiver. The classroom, specifiacally where he was sitting, suddenly felt really cold. He looked up, wanting to tell the teacher to turn the damn heat up when he stopped in his tracks. There he was, in front of him, standing next to the teacher. Deku, in all his bloody glory with that same weird smile on his face. Bakugou looked around to everyone else, nobody else was looking up. What the hell? He looked back to the front of the class and Deku was gone.

Bakugou huffed and looked back down. Whatever stupid prank somebody was playing on him, he wasn't about to fall for. He didn't have the patience; he had work to do, and he was in class. He wasn't about to embarrass himself because some dumbass thought it was a good idea to impersonate Deku being dead or they wanted him to feel guilty or something. So, he went back to his work. Trying his hardest to ignore whatever the hell that was. Until he heard something and looked up, then behind him. Nothing. Nobody was there and Bakugou was beginning to get more frustrated. His classmate stared at him like he was strange, and he glared at them. They scrambled to look down as Bakugou turned back to his own paper. What the fuck was this? This isn't fucking funny and he's getting irritated. Whoever is doing that stupid shit needs to cut it the fuck out so he can concentrate because it's fucking annoying. He grumbles and begins to write again, nearly balling his paper up.

The teacher notices that something is up and calls on Bakugou.

"Bakugou are you alright?'

"m'fine" His voice was noticeably angry, and the teacher can see him nearly ripping the paper like it personally wronged him in some way. Oh boy. "Bakugou how bout you step out and take a quick break and cool off."

"Whatever." Bakugou stood up and stomped out of the classroom. The teacher and class alike sighed in relief.  What was he going to do with that boy?

Outside, Bakugou curled his fist and hit one of the lockers in anger. Dammit! What the hell was this?! And why the hell was he constantly seeing that damn Deku everywhere he went? It felt like the damn nerd was taunting him or something and that did nothing to help with his already souring mood. He stomped through the halls, walking to nowhere as steam damn near poured from his ears. As he continued to walk, he nearly bumped into a wall and quickly looked up to see Deku again. This time, Deku was turned from him. Red spilling from his hair and onto the floor in front of Bakugou. He knew it was stupid and nearly impossible and that it wouldn't make a difference. Damn Deku was already dead, gone, splattered on the ground right in front of him. But he felt compelled to do it anyway. He reached his hand out, almost touching his shoulder before Deku suddenly turned around, the fucking smile etched on his face as he almost grabbed Bakugou. Bakugou threw himself back and set off a bunch of explosions. 

"Ow! What the fuck man?! What was that for?!" Bakugou quickly looked up to see one of his lackeys standing in front of him holding his arm. What the hell? Where did stupid Deku go? Bakugou quickly looked around and saw that Deku was gone, the stupid nerd was gone and there wasn't blood anywhere. What the hell was going on?

"Nothing dumbass. You were just being annoying. Why are trying to find me anyway." He stood up, wiping his clothes off and stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Sensei told me to come get you and bring you back to class. Says he wants to talk to you." Bakugou rolled his eyes. "For what?" "Says he's worried or something.' "That old bastard isn't worried about shit.' Bakugou sighed and made his way back to the class. A cartoonish tick mark almost appearing in his hair. He turned to the extra behind him. "You know don't have to follow me you damn extra. I can walk by myself just fine." Bakugou said gruffly. The grey-haired boy flinched. "Gomen. I'll go now." He walked away leaving Bakugou in front of the door. Truth be told, Bakugou didn't want to go in to talk to Sensei. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He wanted to go home, to forget about Deku, about his death, about that damn smile. The same smile that's been hunting him since yesterday. it was driving him mad. He couldn't tell if it was real, a prank or if he was just hallucinating but he can't stand it. Bakugou huffed and took a deep breath. Whatever, he wasn't a damn pussy and whatever this was, wasn't that serious anyway. He slammed the door open to go talk to his teacher. This was going to be a long day.

Walking into his room and nearly throwing himself onto his bed, Bakugou threw his backpack on the floor and took his shoes off, setting them neatly next to his door. He may be upset and slightly shaken from today, but he wasn't messy. Nor was constantly seeing the dead nerd suddenly going to make him messy. He sighed. He needed some type of distraction from him. Maybe he could do some homework while he waits for dinner? He grumbled and took out his work and begin to work silently. As he began to work, his thoughts drifted to Deku. Usually, the damn nerd would be in his room doing it with him, both in silence just to pass the time. But for some reason, Bakugou sort of missed that time. Even though they did stay in silence most of the time, once the both of them were done, Deku would begin to monologue and basically be a nerd about All Might and Bakugou would be right with him, geeking out about the overpowered man. "Deku..." The blood, the sirens, the hag's arms around him for the first time and that smile, that creepy uncanny smile that made him want to gauge his eyeballs out every time he sees it-

"Oi Brat! Dinner time!" Bakugou jumped out of his thoughts as he grumbled, "Yeah yeah hag, I'm coming!" He heard her respond with some variation of her calling him disrespectful and yelling about how he needed to respect her, but Bakugou honestly couldn't bring himself to care. He slipped on his slippers and walked downstairs to the table, the silence tense, uncomfortable and honestly, it made Bakugou anxious. He began to blow small explosions from his palm onto his thigh, making sure he wasn't hurting himself though. It was small habit Bakugou picked up from his old man that he saw him use whenever he got upset. Bakugou first saw his old man use it after a rare fight between him and the hag and tried it himself and it honestly stuck. Bakugou saw how his old man would blow these small, non-lethal explosions on an unnoticeable part of his body and somehow it helped calm the man down. And although Bakugou figured that it probably wasn't safe nor was it healthy, since Bakugou had a tendency to over-do-it, he figured as long as he controlled it, it would be fine. 

It surprisingly worked for him so whenever he was overwhelmed and needed a way to calm down without anyone noticing, he did that. Although Deku had caught him once, because of course the damn nerd would, and tried to convince him to stop. Damn nerd was always telling him what to do. So Bakugou threatened to blow him up instead and Deku just laughed. Stupid Nerd. 

"Oi! Bakugou! Did you hear me?" Truthfully? No. He was not paying attention. He was busy reminiscing about Deku. "Hah? What'd you say hag?!" "Hah? The hell you say you disrespectful boy!?" Bakugou discreetly rolled his eyes as his hag began to yell. She hit his head, and he began to match her energy. Until he decided it wasn't worth it, so he tuned out half of it as he began to eat his katsudon.... Katsudon, Deku... Bakugou frowned, and his mom noticed. She began to quiet down as his old man stood up and hugged Bakugou. "It's alright son. We're here if you need to talk. We know it happened, and we won't blame you. If you need to talk vent or just need something to explode," Mitsuki chuckled. "We'll both be here. That's what your mother was trying to say but you know how she is.' "Hey!" Bakugou didn't move for a solid minute before he gripped his father's shirt and began to let out broken sobs, trying not to let his parents hear. Too late though. His mom came up behind him and begin to hug him.

"He was right there. He was right fucking there! Why didn't I stop him? Why did I just freeze. I just saw him two days ago. He was just here, eating Katsudon with me! Midoriya was laughing and doing that annoying muttering, how could I just let him die like that!?" Bakugou yelled to nobody but himself. The guilt and shame eating his bones alive as set off another explosion aimed at his own leg. Mitsuki and Masaru looked at each other and frowned. "Shh it's alright. It wasn't your fault Kats. You couldn't have stopped him. You couldn't have done anything." But it was! But it was his fucking fault! It was his fault for the bullying the harassment! Everything! He let this stupid fucking quick get to his goddamn head and he told the damn nerd to go kill himself and guess what he fucking did?! And now he's seeing the damn nerd everywhere! He didn't fucking deserve that. But Bakugou did. He absolutely did! But Bakugou couldn't bring himself to admit that. He couldn't bring himself to tell the hag and his old man that it was his fault. And right after Autie fucking died a week before he fucking did! In the same way! He was a terrible fucking person.

Bakugou sobbed even harder. A few minutes after, they finished their dinner in tense silence and Bakugou excused himself to his room. He walked to the door and opened it, only to fall over on the hard concrete. He looked up and there he was. "Deku!" He screamed. He ran as quickly as he could to Midoriya but before he could, he fell and Bakugou flinched harshly as he heard the disgusting crush of his body. He fell backwards and sobbed as he turned over and vomited his dinner. He groaned and retched in pain before he turned back and suddenly found himself on the ground, Midoriya's body on him. The blood, his guts, everything spilling onto his lap and through it all? That damn smile on his face. He quickly pushed the body off and retched again. He closed his eyes and sobbed. "Gomennasai! Gomennasai Gomennasai!" He yelled over and over again because that's all he could do. That's all he knew how to do. It wouldn't bring him back; it wouldn't erase everything's he's done; all he continues to do. 

Suddenly, He heard something slam open and he opened his eyes, there was his parents. No roof, no body, no blood, no smile. Although he didn't seem to care right now as he threw himself in his father's arms, constantly repeating gomennasai over and over again. Hoping to both convince himself and somehow convince his dead childhood friend turned victim. He knows he must look pathetic, weak, like a fucking crybaby. Ironic when you think about it. How he'd bully and make fun of Deku for always crying over everything and here he was, breaking down in his parent's arms sobbing his lungs out. He dreads the rest of the week.