Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Maomao knows she’s different. She remembers. For as far back as her memories go in this life, there’s another set, different experiences, a past life, stuck in her head. She was weird back then too though. There’s no scientific explanation that she can find for these memories, which disturbs her.

Her life follows a suspiciously similar course as before. Fengxian and Lakan and their doomed romance, growing up with her sisters in a glorified whorehouse. Even her body is a repeat of before, albeit slightly plumper (still not much by way of her chest, to her chagrin) thanks to her not having to be on the brink of starvation most of her life, even while she’s still relatively poor. She hasn’t found Luomen, which saddens her. In this era, there’s no preference for status, and despite still being in the same country, there isn’t even a royal family anymore. He’s probably living the life he should have before. It gives her hope that she won’t have to sit through another lifetime of similar tragedies to the last go around.

If there’s one thing she loves about this new era is the widespread availability of education. Women can attend medical school and become doctors too! It was cause enough for her to do a happy dance.

Despite the easier career path, her heart clenches. She’s already 18 and still hasn’t met Jinshi. Of course, last time she had met him entirely by chance, if she hadn't even seen Luomen, it wasn’t surprising she wouldn’t find the Moon Prince either. It had taken years after meeting him to accept his feelings, and despite the headaches it brought, they had lived happily together as husband and wife to the very end (she’s thankful she can’t quite recall who passed first). The thought of doing that entire dance again, or even worse, not getting that chance again hurts.

Her heartache isn’t helped by her history class. She might’ve thought her second set of memories was a lie, a delusion, if it weren’t for the Li history books. The era of Emperor Yang was one of the most prosperous in their history, despite the attempted rebellions and grasshopper plague.

“... and it was in no small part thanks to the Moon Prince, Ka Zuigetsu.”

Maomao cringed as her professor curled her lips around the name she could’ve been beheaded for uttering in Maomao’s time. Even now, she could see the heart eyes of everyone around her at the mention of Jinshi. There were descriptions of him, but none did his heavenly beauty justice, and even then, it was enough to have people even now swooning.

“An anomaly in his time, he had only one wife in his life, though not much is known about her,”

Maomao’s ears burn at the mention of herself, and the romantic sighs echoing through the room. That kind of devotion was rare, even nowadays, and only made her heart hurt more.

“Some say she might’ve been a princess from another land,”

Hah! As if!

“Others speculate about her having been an immortal,”

I mean, if starting your life from square one counts…

“And one of the most common theories is that he only took a wife for appearances sake to hide other tendencies of a sexual nature.”

Maomao guiltily looked away, remembering speculating about such a thing herself even. That certainly wasn’t why he married me though.

Even after a lifetime together and almost two decades without seeing him, the looks he gave her burned in her mind and turned her face pink.

Ducking out as soon as the lesson was over, she desperately tried to clear her head of thoughts of her… not husband, not anymore. She’d passed the point in her life where she met him before. She should just accept that she would never-

“Maomao, are you okay?”

She startled, though managed to keep her expression neutral as always. “Xiaolan. I’m fine.”

The girl’s brows crinkled in concern. She was a couple of years younger than Maomao, but as it turns out, when the girl had regular access to academic materials, she could become quite the little genius, having graduated her own high school early. Maomao had barely graduated herself, not for lack of effort or brains, but she had a tendency to play hookie during boring units and her grades suffered because of it.

“Okay!” Xiaolan said, happily skipping next to her. “You don’t have another class ‘til later, right? Loulan and I were gonna go out for boba, wanna come? I hear the shop got a new flavour!”

Loulan - it took effort not to call her Shisui, especially when they first met and Maomao had wanted nothing more than to hug the other girl, to the confusion of anyone around them who knew her - was much the same as before. Her mother wasn’t nearly the hag she was before, not having to have suffered in the Rear Palace, and Maomao had even met her a few times, and the experience was almost pleasant. It wasn’t enough to clear memories of opium, debauchery and terror entirely, but almost. She had met Suirei as well and was happy to note that she was happy and healthy, and more importantly, willing to pass along notes she took in her med classes to help Maomao get the study material her brain craved.

“Maomao?”

“Oh, yes. I’ll come.” She tuned back into the conversation, pulling herself out of the haze of memories. Throughout her last life she’d gotten better at expressing her wants and feelings, even if not quite as freely as others.

“Yay! I wanna try the strawberry-banana one! What about you? You normally just get matcha or some other basic.”

Maomao snorts. “There’s a beauty in simplicity, Xiaolan. I like what I like. I might try a sip of yours, though.”

Xiaolan grinned brightly, happily chattering about some hot guy who was in her last class. Maomao felt a rush of deja vu, like she often did when interacting with someone from before. Xiaolan had gotten this enthusiastic about both Jinshi and Suirei when they posed as eunuchs.

They meet up with Loulan in front of the aforementioned boba shop. She grinned brightly and waved with both arms, showing off her sweater patterned with grasshoppers. Shaking off memories of a blackened sky and ominous buzz, Maomao waves back, a small smile gracing her face.

They walked in the shop, arm in arm, gossiping and recounting their days to each other.

“Oh my gosh, did you see the new guy? He’s unreal!”

“I don’t know, I still prefer Maomao~” Loulan purred, glomping onto Maomao from behind. In this era, same sex attraction was commonplace, and Loulan liked to flirt with Maomao for fun. She thinks. With the beauty standards now, Maomao would like to think she wasn't considered unattractive, but the mindset was hard to get out of, even after a lifetime of Jinshi whispering in her ear while-

She shakes her head, clearing the thoughts from her mind. She was hardly a blushing virgin (even if she was technically one again this go around), but she didn’t need to get sucked into erotic memories in the middle of a boba shop. “What are you getting?”

“Hmm, maybe plum? Ooh, but their melon one is sooo good…” Loulan muttered, examining the menu from her spot hanging off of Maomao. She could hardly see the sign herself with the taller girl draped over her, but she knew what she was getting so she didn’t fuss. 

The line moved up and she shuffled forward as best she could, then froze. Someone walked right past her, the scent of sandalwood wafting with them. Her heart pounded as she squirmed under Loulan, trying to glance who passed. It had to be a coincidence, right? Sandalwood was a common scent, that didn’t mean it was-!

She managed to peek under Loulan’s arm in time to glimpse a shiny, dark ponytail turning the corner through the windows of the shop. There was a lump in her throat as she stared out, the stranger not coming back. Obviously.

“Maomao?”

“Are you okay?”

The two she was with were looking at her in concern, Loulan letting go and giving her space. They no doubt noticed that she was trembling slightly, her throat scratchy and burning building behind her eyes. “I’m fine.” She muttered, not trusting her voice to be any louder. “I just thought I saw…”

Loulan’s face curled up into a scowl, and even Xiaolan frowned. “Was it… him? ” Loulan asked, shaking her fist. Maomao had told them about her disconnection from her biological parents, and her distaste for Lakan carried over from before, even if the situation wasn’t as dire as it had been. “I didn’t think I’d seen him, but I’ll chase him down!”

Maomao shook her head, holding her hands up placatingly, knowing Loulan would actually do it. “No, it’s fine, I just… it was someone who looked like him for a second.” It wasn’t a lie necessary, but if they happened to draw their own conclusions on who made sense, that was their prerogative and Maomao wasn’t gonna stop them.

Loulan ‘hmph’ed and pulled Maomao in close to her with an arm around her shoulder. “Well, I’m gonna buy you an extra-large boba to make up for it!”

“Really, there’s no need, I won’t even finish it-”

“Then we can share!” Loulan giggled, wiggling her eyebrows at Maomao. Laughing softly and ignoring how wet it sounded, she let herself be dragged by the other two to order.

Chapter Text

Traversing her college campus the next day was daunting. She’d slept fitfully the night before, her surely imagined encounter haunting her mind with memories of Jinshi. Working her way through the throng of people to get to class, every tall, dark-haired figure drew her attention like a magnet. By the time she made it to the lecture hall, she’d swear she had whiplash.

She slumped into her seat, sighing heavily. She regretted not buying a heavily caffeinated drink. Not that caffeine had any effect on her anymore. It seemed her tolerance to drugs was even higher than before thanks to not only increased access to more materials to experiment with (and increased healthcare quality so she can go a bit farther in her experiments) but with common drugs being in pretty much everything (every store has chocolate stocked, like it didn’t cost an arm and a leg in Maomao’s time!) Sure, there were also stricter laws and regulations with widespread use, but she lived in an area where law enforcement tended to turn a blind eye.

The professor droned on, something about a new unit. This class is math… probably. Maomao wasn’t sure. A murmur went through the room, a collection of gasps and squeals that felt nostalgic, only reminding Maomao of her gloom.

“Excuse me.” A velvet-smooth voice purred, saccharine sweet and oh-so-familiar.

No.

No, no, no. There was no way-

She couldn’t breathe. Slowly picking her head up, she fought every urge in her body that told her to run right into his arms. Tall and lithe, dressed in clothing that probably cost more than she’d make in a year, and long, dark, silken hair pulled up into a ponytail. He was smiling, his skin flawless (and probably as soft as ever), the face of a heavenly nymph. She didn’t even feel that surge of repulsion at the fake honeyed smile that he often wore as Jinshi the eunuch, just awe and a mounting relief that maybe, just maybe, she could have her cake and eat it too.

Until his gaze swept the back row, passing right over her. That wasn’t right. Even if he couldn’t afford to let his expression slip into that soft, warm smile only she and their children had been privy to, his attention would linger, just for a second. He had always found her in a sea of people, and despite how it had grated on her nerves in the early days of their acquaintance, it hurt like her heart was being pulled right out of her chest without it. Like she was being dissected alive and being laughed at all the while.

What was she expecting though? No one but her had remembered, why would he?

She sat stock still, hurt clawing at the back of her throat with every step he took in her direction by sheer coincidence instead of that determination that had filled his every movement before. Burying her head in her arms, tears escaped her silently. She was trembling, but it was dark in the back and probably wasn’t noticeable.

Maomao didn’t believe in gods. And yet, as Jinshi made his way through her row for the empty seat across the aisle from her, she was cursing every one she could think of; for giving her these memories, for putting him so close, yet so far. She found herself wishing he had never come back. Or maybe that she never had?

He sat, and she couldn’t focus on anything despite how she tried. The professor’s monotonous lecture, the lingering murmur about him, the snoring of someone down the row from her, but it did nothing to stop the smell of sandalwood cologne drifting over. She was too distinctly aware of his presence, so close, yet so far, and wanted to do nothing more than run.

He was silent and it was wrong, wrong, wrong, he was never silent with her.

It’s not him, she told herself. It’s not him, it’s not him, it’s not him. None of them are. You’re delusional. Maybe you always have been. Maybe you’re tripping balls. Maybe you’re in the hospital right now ‘cause you ate a mushroom. When you wake up you won’t remember being some apothecary-turned-princess, because you never were one. You’re just Maomao.

She was shaking, her head was spinning, her pulse racing in her ears, her chest ached and she couldn’t breathe . She knew these symptoms, but they only registered distantly. Being aware of a panic attack didn’t make it go away. And even worse there was no medicine for it. You could only wait it out and pray no one was watching. No one sat next to her, she always made sure of it, but that had been tipped on its head with his presence, so, so close, yet so, so far-

Her ears rang and she pressed her hands over them, hoping to make it stop, make all of it stop. Something touched her shoulder and she jumped, her knees knocking against the underside of the table in front of her and she gasped for breath. Her eyes were puffy and still leaking tears, and through her blurry vision she saw the face of a celestial beauty, swimming in and out of focus. There was concern on his face but none of that warmth she’d come to associate with him. It’s wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong-

She fled. She ran into everything she possibly could’ve knocked her hips and thighs against and had no idea where she was going, she just ran.

“...Maomao?”

Please stop. Please. I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t.

“...Maomao?! Maomao!”

She opened her eyes, try as they might to stay swollen closed. Her cheeks were crusty with dried tears and she was curled up into fetal position. She registered the feeling of soft, yet prickly grass underneath her and the scent of flowers. The buzz of insects and chirping of birds echoed in her ears and her mouth was sticky with dehydration. In her line of sight, there was a hulking figure crouched down.

“...L-Lihaku?” She croaked, her voice sounding like she swallowed gravel.

“What are you doing out here?!” He cried, reaching for her but not quite touching.

“I-”

“You’ve been crying! Who was it? I’ll go kick their ass, I swear-”

“No!” She reached out for his sleeve, tugging. “It’s not his fault, it’s mine. He…” She took a breath, trying to rein in the emotions still rampaging in her chest. “He doesn’t even know who I am.”

She had no idea if her voice was back to its regular monotone, but Lihaku looked enraged and highly out of his depth at the same time. Coming to a decision, he gently grabbed her wrists, giving her time to pull away, and hauled her to her feet like she weighed nothing. “Let’s get you home.”

“No, I-I have more classes…” She mumbles, figuring she really should get back, but… the idea of being trapped in another too large, yet too small room was torture. Even worse than that taibon she got thrown in (that wasn’t even torture for her). She cringed and scolded herself. No. No more of that, it’s… it’s not real. It can’t be. Look at yourself, you got all worked up over a guy.

“You are in no state to go back to learning, little lady. I’m taking you home.”

She could’ve protested. She should’ve. Instead, she let her sister’s boyfriend (and bouncer at the Verdigris) take her back to her place next to the club. It had two rooms total (including the bathroom), everything squished in one space, but she was small herself, and didn’t need much. Plus it was cheap. She trusted Lihaku with her life, knowing he was smitten with her sister and pretty much just a giant dog.

She let him lead her inside and help her slip off her shoes and into bed. Turning off the light, he left her to doze off into an emotionally exhausted sleep (and no doubt tell Pairin all about what he’d seen.)

Chapter Text

“Maomao~”

She stirred, pulling her covers up over her head and ignoring the inherently sultry voice of her older sister. Her head hurt, and her chest ached, and she just wanted to sleep. “Maomao’s no’ ‘ere…” She mutters into her pillow. Next to her, Pairin flops down, smushing her, even underneath her blanket. She hears Meimei giggle, and the faint scent of tobacco that lingers around Joka is there, telling her that all three ‘Princesses’ are squished into her tiny apartment and are definitely going to pester her for details about why Lihaku found her having a panic attack in a park. Lovely.

“We’re worried about you.” Meimei says softly, sitting at the foot of Maomao’s bed and gently running her finger up and down Maomao’s leg through the blanket. “Lihaku found you…” She trailed off when Maomao tensed, pulling her knees to her chest.

“It w’s nothin’...”

“Bullshit.” Joka says, her voice coming from somewhere on the other side of Pairin.

Of course they saw through her. What was she supposed to say though? ‘ Oh, I saw this guy in my class with the same face and name as my husband in my past life, but he’s not him and it hurts.' ?

“Maomao… is this about a boy?” Pairin asks, her tone serious despite the topic being one of her favorites.

She could deny it. Say she just watched someone kick a puppy or throw away some precious herb. She didn’t though. She said nothing at all.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Meimei mumbles.

Maomao finds herself scowling. She knows the circumstances are insane, but the pity only makes it worse. “I said, it’s nothing!” She hisses.

“Does he have a name?” Joka asks, steamrolling Maomao’s rebuttal.

She pauses. Then softly mutters it, unable to stop the way her heart pounds in her chest just at his name.

“Jinshi?” Pairin says, the only one able to hear her close as she was. “You mean your ‘husband’ you always talked about when you were little?”

Maomao freezes. “My what now?” She sits up, staring at her older sisters, bewildered. Pairin licks her thumb and gently rubs Maomao’s cheeks free of their tear tracks. She tries to shake her off, but Pairin holds fast.

“You used to talk about him all the time. The only time you spoke that much was when you were talking about your herbs. It was baffling for such a little kid. You spoke in such an old-fashioned way too, like you were a little old lady in a toddler’s body. You told us all about how he bought you all these rare ‘ingedants’ and kissed you aaall the time, and how you secretly liked it. You always said he was so pretty, but you liked it better when he was ‘being ugly’.”

Maomao felt her face get redder and redder as Pairin talked.

“I don’t remember saying any of that!” She says, doing her best to keep her face neutral.

“Oh, but we do, kiddo.” Joka says, an amused glint in her eye. “You were adamant. And now you’re saying you were in a secluded corner of a park, crying your heart out because of this imaginary guy you don’t remember?” She frowns, the amused glint disappearing.

“I… never said I don’t remember him, I said I don’t remember telling you…” Maomao trails off, steadfastly not meeting any of her sisters’ eyes.

“Did you actually meet him?” Meimei asked. Her tone betrayed that she didn’t quite believe it, but her eyes were curious.

“I-” Maomao swallowed the lump in her throat. “I couldn’t have. I just… didn’t sleep well last night and my mind was playing tricks on me.”

“Maomao…” Pairin pouted, but Joka spoke instead. “Alright. We won’t push. Just know, we love you, okay? And we’ll listen to anything you say no matter how crazy it is.”

“That’s your job.” Maomao grumbles, looking away.

“Yeah, well, we’re off the clock, so we do what we want, and we want to be here for you.”

She was insane. She must be. And yet…

“Those history books…” She mutters, looking at a spot of grime on her wall resolutely. “About… the Moon Prince.” Her tongue curled around the familiar moniker, the taste of it setting heavy in her chest. “There’s a lot they don’t say. Like how he was actually the Emperor’s son, and that he never wanted to be prince. How he won a bet over a Go game at 13 and was allowed to enter the Rear Palace as its manager under the alias… Jinshi.”

It was ludicrous. Absolutely crazy. But her sisters listened wordlessly.

“Like how he… how he fell in love with a nobody apothecary who got sold to the Palace by chance and just did her job. How she despised him at first but… grew to love him after far too much hurt.” Her breath was shaky, but her voice was surprisingly smooth. It was utterly insane and yet… speaking it aloud only made her that much surer she wasn’t. “He promised he’d make her his wife. And he did, after years and years. And they were happy… right ‘til the end. And when she died, she woke up again, in a new life, centuries later. With the same face, name, and mind, and even the people she loved. But none of them remember. Not even him.”

She was crying again and Meimei handed her a glass of water. She took a sip, and kept talking, for some reason. “... I saw him today. He looked right past me. After so long of being a pain in my ass, and those stupid declarations, he just… isn’t. And I’m… I’m crazy. Absolutely insane.”

“It sounds like something out of a novel.” Pairin says breathlessly, and… with not a hint of disbelief in her tone. “What about us? Were we there?”

“Pairin-” Joka started, but Maomao talked over her.

“Yes.” She really was crazy, grasping at the chance of being believed. “You were courtesans. The three highest selling at… well, the Verdigris House. You got to marry Lihaku. Meimei got bought out by a Go sage. Joka took over the brothel in Granny’s place.”

Meimei grimaces. “‘Bought out’?”

Maomao shrugs apologetically.

“Lihaku too?!” Pairin gasps, her eyes shining at the prospect. Maomao nods. “He, uh, gave me a hairpin at this Garden Party, so I got to go home with him for the first time in months. He got time with you in return and you both fell head over heels.” She smirks at Pairin’s delighted flush as she squeals about how 'he’s always been a gentleman' and that they were 'meant to be'.

“Maomao.” 

She doesn’t know what to make of Joka’s tone, but before she can say anything, Maomao shakes her head. “I know. It’s ridiculous. But I have an entire set of memories in my head, always have. And they’re only corroborated by the textbooks. I don’t have an explanation for it, scientific or otherwise, it just… is.”

“You’ve never been content with that.” She says with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know what I could do to investigate further. I don’t know of any hallucinogens that give you a lifetime’s worth of memories, let alone of people you’ve never ‘met’. Sometimes people report having lived full lives in their heads after waking up from comas, but you’d know better than me if I’ve ever been in one. Then again, I could be in one right now…”

“Maomao, I highly doubt you’re in a coma. We believe you.” Meimei sighs. She gapes at her older sister. “How? Even I wouldn’t believe me!”

“And it’s exactly because you’re you that… we do. Something about it, as far-fetched as it sounds…” Joka trails off, the implication of the sentence making Maomao's heart feel a bit lighter. Then, with narrowed eyes and a teasing smirk, “This Moon Prince… everything says he was ‘as gorgeous as an immortal’. Was he really?”

Not quite believing Joka wasn’t pulling her chain, Maomao narrows her eyes back. “Yes… he could be petulant as a child sometimes, though. It really took away from the whole ‘celestial’ thing when he pouted like a kicked puppy.”

Pairin smirked. “Oh? Did he ever get down on his knees for you? ”

Maomao wrinkled her nose, flushing as flashes of late nights in their bedroom went through her mind. “... despite how I told him it was improper, yes.”

Meimei snorted as Pairin cackled and continued, “Was he good in bed? Be real disappointing if someone that pretty couldn’t treat you right.”

Maomao rolled her eyes. “He was a quick learner at least. Though it’s not like I wasn’t a virgin before him either.”

“Oh? Really? Someone of his status?” Joka drawled, drawn into the conversation properly.

“Well, considering he was apparently on what may as well have been HRT for all of his pubescent years...” Maomao frowned. “Huh. Honestly, it’s a surprise he was still capable after all that. Must’ve been the horny old bastard’s genes at work… ‘s a testament to his self-control that the little brat managed to not man handle everything with a pair of tits…”

Despite it being muttering to herself, Joka heard it and laughed. “Oh, really?”

Freezing, Maomao clasped her hands and held them up to her face as if they were tucked away in the sleeves of her aoqun. “I said nothing about His Majesty’s frog. It must’ve been your imagination.”

“His… frog?”

Blinking, she realized where she was. She got so caught up in talking about her old life she fell back into habits from centuries prior. Feeling both a little more and a little less sane, she wound up talking about her past life until Lihaku came to fetch them for work. By then, even Joka had gotten invested in the stories, all four women somehow cuddled up on Maomao’s twin bed while she reminisced on an impossible prior life.

It was almost enough to make her forget her heartache earlier that day.

Chapter Text

Maomao stood up as Xiaolan’s enthusiastic knock echoed through her apartment, internally wincing as the shorter girl asked her where she’s been. She may or may not have been skipping classes the past couple of days. She felt lighter after talking with her sisters, but she still couldn’t bring herself to even see… Not-Jinshi.

“I heard from a friend that you ran from one of your classes crying and hyperventilating! And now I haven’t seen you in 3 days with little more than a couple of dismissive texts!” She pouts, “You’re lucky I managed to convince Loulan to not storm the place!”

Maomao felt a stab of guilt. “Sorry. I wasn’t feeling great.”

Now concerned, Xiaolan grabbed her hands. “You didn’t drug yourself again, did you?!”

“No, no, just a bit, uh, drained.”

She sighs. “I get it. But your grades are gonna start to suffer if you keep this up! C’mon, you have a class in a bit, right? We’ll go out for ice cream after!”

Allowing Xiaolan to drag her out the door, Maomao dragged her feet to her class.

She shuffled into the room, stubbornly ignoring any whispering she hears. The chances of them being about her were slim… but at the same time, she had fled from Not-Jinshi. That might be enough to get her name circulating. Keeping her eyes on the floor, she trudged to her normal spot in the back row and tried to pay attention to the lecture. Psychology, maybe? She wasn’t sure.

Soon enough, it ended and she could shuffle back out of the room, an hour’s worth of words being poured into her head, falling back out.

“Excuse me?”

Her breath froze. It was him. No way he was talking to her, just walk away-

“Excuse me!” He repeated, a hand falling on her shoulder.

She jumped away, a cat-like hiss building up in her throat as she turned to face him, unable to help the glare she unleashed on him. How dare he. He had no idea what he was doing to her, but he just bull-dozed ahead like he always did, careless of the consequences.

He seemed utterly taken aback by her expression, genuine shock passing over his face. She quickly schooled her face into something neutral and hoped he couldn’t hear her pounding heart. “Can I help you?”

He blinked. “Ah, uh, yes, I was wondering if you were okay?” He smiled his ‘eunuch’ smile, albeit with the sparkle dimmed.

She felt her nose crinkle a little, but she kept control of most of her face. “I’m fine.”

“The other day, you were… well, you…” He trailed off, his smile falling a little as he danced around the topic.

“I didn’t sleep well,” It’s your fault, “I’m fine now,” I’m really not, please just look at me like you used to, “If you’ll excuse me.” Fighting the urge to bow, she turned on her heel and walked away.

“Wait!” He called. She didn’t.

“Maomao!” Once more, she was glomped on by Loulan, this time from the front, her face being squished by the other girl’s chest. She wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not. “I was so worried about you! I’ll buy you an extra large scoop! Two, even!”

“I won’t be able to eat that much-” She started, but was cut off by Loulan once again, “Then we’ll share!”

Deja vu, and for once, not because of something that happened hundreds of years prior. Loulan and Xiaolan happily dragged her into the ice cream shop, ordering loaded cones and proceeding to drag Maomao on a walk through the park. 

“Ugh, all anyone can talk about is that Yue guy! It’s grating. All the cute girls are flocking to his fanclub too. Not that any of them are better than Maomao!” Loulan adds with a wink.

“Yue?”

“Mmhmm! He’s the son of some rich CEO who does something or other by way of really important work. I’m not sure exactly, but he’s gorgeous! I think you actually have a class or two with him, Maomao!” Xiaolan chimed in, squirming in delight as she ate her ice cream.

She’s certain it didn’t show on her face, but she was very suddenly reminded of interactions between Jinshi and Ah-Duo. She’d called him Yue, hadn’t she?

She couldn’t escape him.

“I noticed.”

“Noticed? Nooo, don’t tell me my Maomao is interested in a boy?! ”

She’s certain she’d only ever be interested in one person, and one person only in that sense, not that Loulan knew. She’d never explained Jinshi or any of her past life to them. All they knew was that she had no romantic intentions at all, which may as well have been true.

She said nothing.

“Wait, Maomao, are you?!” Loulan gasped, stopping in her tracks. Xiaolan gaped at her. “For real?!”

Maomao looked away, scoffing. “Of course not. I… don’t even know him.”

“But you could get to know him!” Xiaolan protested, her eyes singing the song of whatever rom-com she was envisioning about Maomao and Not-Jinshi - Yue.

Maomao said nothing as she considered it. Get to know him? Hah! She already knew him, better than he likely knew himself at the moment. It was he who didn’t know her. Not like he had. Could she really get him back? Start all over? It was every minute spent with Jinshi that made their love worth it, even moments between them that would have aged like milk.

“... he’d see me as nothing more than a gold digger.” That’s how she’d been seen by people before, but never by him. He’d chased and chased and chased, because he could afford it. The only thing he was accused of when courting her was bad taste. “Chances are I’d just drive him away. It’s…” She shook her head, not finishing her sentence.

“You’re serious about this.” Loulan noted. “This isn’t like you.”

Maomao scoffed. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. I should just keep my distance.”

Xiaolan huffed, sticking out her lip. “No! If you like him, then we’re gonna be the best wingwomen ever and get you together! No ifs, ands or buts about it!”

She stared at Xiaolan in shock, and to her even further surprise, Loulan nodded determinedly as well.

“You guys…”

After dragging them back to her house (more like an estate), Loulan tried to rope her sister into helping them scheme, but Suirei brushed her off, giving Maomao a pitying look. She got nothing but a glare in response. Traitor! Abandoner! What happened to medical officer solidarity?!

‘Neither of us are one yet.’ She could almost hear Suirei’s retort and if you asked, Maomao would deny ever pouting about it.

“So! How to bag the rich hunk?”

Maomao regretted agreeing to this.

Yue was confused. After lots of back and forth with his father, he’d been allowed to go to the college of his choosing; a local one with the name of the city, with the only course of any particular note being their humanities. It was perfect. He didn’t particularly care about attending some elite university, he just wanted a chance to be anyone but himself, and on his second day there, a girl had a panic attack right next to him! He’d tried to help her down from it, but instead, she’d looked at him like a slug and run away! He’d felt horrible afterward, his first reaction to her own being intrigue rather than the appropriate concern. He’d wanted to find her and apologize, but when he managed to find her a few days later, that look was back. Like he was some worm under her heel!

It was absolutely confusing, and he wanted to get to the root of it. That girl… He didn’t even know her name. He’d tried asking about her, but he just got empty looks. Figures, as large as the college was. She didn’t seem like the type to want to stand out, despite being quite cute. Just barely clearing five feet, and those freckles of hers, only making her bright blue eyes pop… what?

He paused, running over his last few thoughts. He wasn’t one to think too hard on appearances, let alone judge someone on them. He’d be a major hypocrite if he did. But he had only met her twice!

Though, twice was enough for her to react in a way that stood out even in almost 20 years of memory. Like he was old gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe… of course her face would burn itself into his mind! It was definitely not something weird like that feeling telling him he knows her, needs her close, like air itself-

Definitely not.

Chapter Text

“I have gathered you here for a very important reason…” Loulan started, dramatically holding her phone with the flashlight on up to her face, the lights in her room switched off. “I am being dragged along by my father to some fancy party for rich people! I’d normally find a way to dip out halfway through, however, at a party for fancy bigwigs, there’s bound to be the son of the biggest bigwig there is!”

She was grinning mischievously, only further cementing Maomao’s dread. Xiaolan just gasped, her own eyes sparkling. “Oh, it’s perfect!”

“Yeah, except for the fact that I would never receive an invite to something like that in a million years.” Maomao snarked. Well, actually I would’ve, just a few hundred years ago, but eh.

“Which is whyyy, you’ll be going as my plus-one!” Loulan sings, looping her arms around Maomao.

“Then everyone's gonna think I’m your date and it’ll defeat the purpose.”

Loulan huffs. “Well, not that I’d be opposed to that, but honestly Maomao, it’s like you don’t want to go!”

“I don’t.”

“But, but, what about dressing up in pretty dresses and free drinks?”

“... hrm. I couldn’t care less about dressing up, but free booze…”

Loulan sighs affectionately. “I should’ve led with that, huh?”

“Oh, oh! Talk about timing!” Xiaolan squealed, her phone buzzing with a text. Cocking her head, Maomao leaned over to peek at the screen. “Catering?”

“Mmhmm! A few days ago a friend of a friend was looking for a couple extra hands for this gig they’ve got aaand as it turns out, they’re catering for this event! I can be there! Even if I don’t get to wear a fancy dress…” Xiaolan pouts. Maomao holds out her hand, silently asking for the phone. Xiaolan hands it over, letting her scroll through the details.

“Any chance I could join you instead?”

“Maomao!” Loulan dramatically gasped, holding a hand to her chest. “What about pretty boy?”

Maomao scrunches her nose. “I appreciate the offer, but I’d rather not get his attention that way.”

Approaching him as some socialite would only push him farther away. “Then there’s the fact that chances are, if ‘anyone who’s anyone’,” She read off the text Xiaolan’s friend sent to convince her, “is gonna be there, that means the old fart.”

Loulan scowls. “Oh. Yeah. Ugh, I forgot about him. He never bothers me, but he is at these events sometimes.”

“A bit of cash and some free booze and I’ll let you enact a plan. Deal?” Maomao offers. Xiaolan’s friend offered pay for the extra help which was enough to sell Maomao on it. She just had to get Loulan to agree.

“Oh, fineee. I’m gonna give you a meet-cute so good, your ancestors will be fawning!”

Maomao somehow manages to keep her face in its neutral expression despite the mounting regret for agreeing to this.

She definitely was regretting agreeing to this. For the fifth time that night, she tugged down the hem of her ludicrously short, tight skirt. Honestly, her old ceremonial garb had been easier to walk in than this. Maomao ruefully glared as one of the other girls strutted past her, easily maneuvering in the same skirt, which only looked shorter on her longer legs which in turn only looked longer thanks to the sky-high heels she was wearing. And Maomao was struggling in flats!

Resisting the urge to claw at her scalp and relieve the itch of her pulled too tight ponytail, she hefted her tray of drinks and plastered on her best customer service smile. She’d allowed herself to have makeup painted on her face and she shuddered with every leering stare she got from men old enough to be her granddad. We’re waitresses, not courtesans, you pricks.

It had already been half an hour and she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Yue. He could be going for fashionably late… or he managed to get out of this entirely. Ugh, if I agreed to this for nothing, I am going to throttle him.

Stopping back by the kitchen the caterers were set up in, she refills her tray. Glancing around to make sure no one was paying her any attention, she slings back one of the glasses.

Back in the main room she notices that the din of polite (yet threaded with venom) conversation turned into an awed murmur, the crowd getting thicker as she moved towards a certain point of the room. I guess he didn’t manage to escape entirely… I wonder if he still has Suiren and Gaoshun keeping him in check?

Her heart beating in her chest just a bit faster, her smile becomes a little bit less forced as she pushes through the crowd. In the thick of it all, he stood, his hair pulled up into a ponytail and his suit an almost shimmering purple-blue. It reminded her of the armor he wore to the siege on the Shi fortress. An old memory, but one that stayed stuck in her mind. She couldn’t help that her lip curled up when she noticed the sparkly ‘eunuch’ smile on his face.

There was a solid two feet of space between Yue and the crowd that formed around him as he talked with some wrinkly old politician with a skeevy smirk. She’s certain her ‘smile’ was now just a grimace, but before she could let herself chicken out, her feet moved forward, walking her past the two. The old politician took a flute of champagne and gave her a pervy leer as she passed. She didn’t dare look up at Yue. She couldn’t bear to see the glassy-eyed stare of a stranger.

Not that she would’ve.

If she looked up then, she’d have seen his brow wrinkle ever so slightly in confusion, then his eyes widen in recognition, and his mouth open to call after her before he got interrupted by his conversation partner.

But she didn’t.

She fled as quickly as she dared, eyes trained on the floor. You knew, you knew, you knew-

Crash!

Maomao gasped as her tray got sent flying and the lone glass of alcohol on it spilled all over her.

“Oh no! I am so sorry!”

“No, no, that was my fault, I wasn’t paying attention-” Maomao’s voice died when she noticed who she’d run into. Red hair, green eyes, and a subtly sequined red gown. “Gyokuyou…?” She muttered.

“Oh, you’re soaked! Do you have spare clothes? I can get you some!”

Blinking, she shook her head. “We have spare uniforms, ma’am. No need to trouble yourself. Are you alright?”

All eyes were on her and the crowd was murmuring again. I need to get out of here…

“I’m alright, are you?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Muttering one final apology, Maomao hightailed it out of there. She didn’t notice the tall figure following after her.

“Maomao! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Maomao stripped off the faux waistcoat, the champagne that was spilled soaking through her white blouse. Glad I decided to wear a bra.

“I’ll get you a spare uniform! We can use that side room there!” Xiaolan pointed to what Maomao assumed was a pantry off the extravagant kitchen they were set up in. Sighing, she walked towards the pantry, starting on unbuttoning her blouse. It’s not like she’d be losing any modesty, just getting the soaked garment off faster.

“Are you o… kay… ?!”

Maomao startled, turning slowly. Yue was standing not five feet from her, a panicked look on his face - which was slowly turning red at her now transparent, half-unbuttoned blouse. Hiding her chest from his stare was an afterthought for her.

“You’ll have to excuse me, sir.” She says, her voice forcefully flat.

Xiaolan chose that moment to return. “Maomao, I have- oh!” She squeaked, her face turning pink. Snatching the spare uniform from her friend, Maomao promptly enters the pantry and closes the door firmly behind her. Sliding to her butt, her back to the door, she closes her eyes. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She’d always compared that look of his to a startled pigeon, and even in a new life, that hadn’t changed. She finds herself chuckling softly.

She hears Yue talking to Xiaolan. Maybe she should feel guilty for leaving her alone with him…

Standing up, - her knees were not shaky, thank you - she changes her blouse quickly, charging back out. Xiaolan is utterly red, fidgeting in place, and Yue looks equally flustered. Raising an eyebrow, she gives each a questioning look. Xiaolan doesn’t seem to see it and Yue just gets even redder and looks away momentarily.

“M-Maomao, was it?” He asks, clearing his throat. Ignoring the clenching in her stomach at hearing his silky smooth voice speak her name once again, she nods.

“Gyokuyou asked me to pass this along to you.” He says passing her a slip of paper. It has two phone numbers on it, one in Gyokuyou’s delicate scrawl and the other in equally familiar handwriting. The handwriting of the man right in front of her. Swallowing softly, she meets his eyes. His flush hadn’t subsided, but he doesn’t glance away. “She’s worried. Wants to make sure you’re okay.”

Is he…?

Squashing her hopes down to deal with another time, she pockets the slip. “It’s just champagne, I’m perfectly okay. Pass my thanks along to her, though. She’s very kind.” Bowing slightly, she turns to leave.

“Maomao? Where are you going?” Xiaolan asks, reaching out to grab Maomao’s sleeve.

“I’m done for tonight. Tell Xiu I’ll take half pay or something.”

“But, Maomao-!”

“Goodnight, Xiaolan, Yue.”

“Bye…”

Maomao didn’t look back to see Yue’s flush return full force.