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n' awright tae ye tae

Summary:

As her immediate senior, Selene, Champion of Alola, is dispatched to invite Galar's new Champion to join the Hall of Champions.

There's just one problem.

Gloria is VERY Scottish.

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"It's almost got us!" Nebby cried, frantically flying through Ultra Space while trying to dodge the flames and thrown heads of the furious Blacephalon on their tail.

"We're nearly there..." Selene said, eyes glowing as she used her psychic powers to determine where the next Ultra Wormhole to their destination should appear. "It should be-"

She quickly ducked, barely avoiding a Mind Blown. "There!"

Nebby shrieked, and space and time unfolded before her, and mother and daughter dove through the swirling vortex-

And instantly got a premonition of danger, just in time to dodge a MASSIVE caber which lanced at them from the ground, striking the Blacephalon's head and causing it to explode. It regenerated a second later, and the Fireworks Pokemon decided it might not be worth it to keep up the pursuit and retreated back into Ultra Space.

Sighing in relief, Selene smiled as Nebby descended through the Galarian skies to the town of Postwick below. "Thanks for the help!" Selene called to the rather cross-looking very buff girl standing outside one of the houses, immediately recognizable as Gloria, the new Champion of Galar. "It would have been bad if that thing fully emerged here!"

"You cut it a little close though, you nearly hit us!" Nebby said.

"That's whit ah wis trying tae dae," Gloria said with a scowl.

"...O-oh," Nebby murmured in alarm.

Selene took off her helmet and hopped off of Nebby's back. "Hi!" she said brightly, extending a hand. "I'm Selene, Champion of-"

"Ah ken wha yer," Gloria interjected, though her expression softened slightly as she took her in. "...Ye keek a lot tougher than ah expected."

"Thanks! I regularly train against my Pokemon to keep myself in shape," Selene told her.

"Och aye? Howfur far kin ye throw a caber?" Gloria asked, a glimmer of interest in her eyes.

"I don't know, I've never done that," Selene admitted. "I threw an Exeggutor off an island once, but that was an accident. Well, no, it was definitely on purpose, but it accidentally scared my girlfriend, so it deserved it. Does that count?"

"An Exeggutor...Thay graw thaim muckle in Alola, dinnae thay?" Gloria mused. "'ere then, gie it a huv a go."

And suddenly Selene found herself holding a log larger than she was. Her knees buckled, only for her body to flash as her Aura ignited and her eyes lit up as she used her Psychic power and Aura to bolster herself.

"Awright noo, na cheating!" an incensed Gloria yelled.

"You have mystic runes on your body that enhance your strength among a variety of other blessings," Selene pointed out.

"Ah wis born wi' thaim! Bit braw, ah see yer point. Gie it a gang," Gloria reluctantly conceded.

Selene grunted slightly as she adjusted her posture, and then she threw the caber, a little clumsily, since she'd never done this before. To her dismay, it smashed through the second floor of a nearby house. "Oh no!"

"Och, dinna fash yirsel aboot it, that's mah mukker Hop's hoose, he's used tae it," Gloria said dismissively.

A young man poked his head out the window next to the lodged caber. "Did I forget something?"

"Na, juist tryin oot th' freish lassie," Gloria called to him.

"Oh, okay."

Hop retreated into his house.

"Do you need me to pay for repairs, or...?" Selene asked.

"Na, we've git it covered, ah throw a caber thro' his hoose at least wance a day ." Gloria scowled. "'n' forby, we juist git dane ousting yin capitalist dirtbag 'n' a sellout champion, we dinnae need anither yin poking thair hooter whaur it doesn't belong!"

"I'm not a sellout!" Selene protested.

"Yeah, and we're a nonprofit!" Nebby added.

"Ye'r merrit tae yin o' th' richest wummin in th' world. How's it cop, sleeping wi' th' de'il herself?" Gloria jeered.

Selene was baffled. "You've clearly never met my wife or you'd understand how wrong that is. And I sleep just fine, thanks."

"Aye? weel soon, a'm gonnae be sleeping wi' mah barry burd in a muckle castle ah won fae a pair o' idiots wi' glaikit locks! !" Gloria bragged.

"I sleep with my wife in a mansion on an artificial island in the middle of Alola she inherited from her insane abusive mother with a flying stadium," Selene said.

"'n' howfur muckle did it cost?" Gloria jeered, trying and failing not to look insanely jealous.

"I dunno, how much did your castle cost?" Selene asked.

"...Guid quaistion," Gloria admitted, scratching her head. "Mah girl's git a better heid fur numbers than me."

"So, anyway, now that you've become Champion of Galar, as your senior I'm here to-" Selene started, deciding to get to the point.

"Awright, ye'r nae that muckle older than me! " Gloria interjected.

Selene frowned. "Are you being this difficult on purpose?"

"Aye."

Selene sighed. "Yeah, that matches what Serena said."

"Serena talked aboot me?" Gloria asked, trying not to look too interested. "What'd she say?"

"You can ask her yourself soon enough," Selene said. "I'm here as your senior to invite you to the Hall of Champions, where the Champions of every region gather to discuss important matters relevant to all of us."

"Pass," Gloria said, looking bored.

"We also have orgies."

"Noo ye'r speaking mah leid!" Gloria cried, looking excited. "Bit afore ah gree tae come alang wi' ye, a'm needin' tae see if tis worth mah time!"

"You get a staggeringly high salary, and we have lesbian orgies and frequent battles, what more could you want?" an exasperated Selene asked.

"That legendary pokemon o' yers doesn't keek that strong...let's see howfur she deals wi' mah ain divine bidie in! Zacian, ah wale ye!" Gloria called, sending out a majestic blue wolf holding a mighty sword in her jaws.

Nebby shrieked so highly only Zacian flinched at her cry. "PUPPY!" She immediately pounced on Zacian and started scratching her all over. "Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl? WHO'S A GOOD GIRL?!"

"I am a good girl! I am! I am!" Zacian barked happily.

Gloria scowled. "Traitor. A' richt then! noo ye hae tae rammy me!"

She raised her fists.

Selene frowned. "As in...you fight my Pokemon, or me?"

"Whichever ye lik'! c'moan!" Gloria shouted, boxing the air.

Selene shrugged. "All right."

Selene's eyes flashed, her Aura and psychic abilities combining to give her a perfect play-by-play of the next few moments. When Gloria lunged, she was ready. Selene gracefully slid to the side, clotheslining Gloria at the waist and judo flipping her to the ground, swiftly striking about a dozen pressure points in a matter of seconds and causing her body to stiffen. "Had enough?"

Gloria laughed, her own eyes flashing along with her runes. "We're just getting started!"

With a howl - had she just gotten lupine features? Oh wow, Lyra would be excited - Gloria surged to her feet and launched into a flurry of clawing strikes and kicks which would have been completely unpredictable and might have overwhelmed Selene in moments if she weren't an OP Psychic Aura Guardian who was able to predict her moves easily, calmly countering, blocking, and deflecting each strike, waiting until Gloria tired just a fraction and left an opening, which she exploited with a charged palm strike to the chest that actually KNOCKED her Aura out of her body.

Gloria's body, briefly bereft, stood for a moment, a stunned expression on her face, before her Aura suddenly snapped right back into her husk. Before she could recover, Selene blasted her briefly vulnerable mind with a tremendous burst of psychic power. "SLEEP."

Gloria passed out and began to snore very loudly.

"All right, Nebby, let's go," Selene called to her daughter, hoisting Gloria's - very heavy - body onto her shoulder.

"Awww, but I wanted to play with the doggy some more!" Nebby whined.

Zacian, on her back as Nebby rubbed her belly, whimpered.

"You can play with her more later. Let's get Gloria back to the Hall of Champions before she wakes up and wants to go another round."

"Aww, okay," Nebby conceded. "Oh! Can I carry Zacian too?"

Selene shrugged. "Sure, if you want."

"Yay!" Nebby cheered.

"Splendid! This will be a wonderful voyage!" Zacian cried.


Zacian howled at the top of her lungs as they rocketed through Ultra Space, pursued by an angry Buzzwole. "This was a terrible idea! I should have stayed behind!"

The Buzzwole bellowed as it flexed at them...THREATENINGLY!

Up until it got a caber to the face, that is.

"Awright, keep it doon, some o' us ur trying tae kip 'ere!" Gloria shouted.

Selene's eyes widened in astonishment. "Where did you get that caber from?

"Ah will ne'er tell!" Gloria declared.

Selene sighed. This was going to be a difficult few years-

Wait, shit, Gloria was immortal too, wasn't she? Dammit, they'd NEVER be rid of her!

She hesitated, noticing Gloria's very strong arms wrapped around her and feeling her sizable chest pressed into her back, and blushed. Well, at least there were SOME benefits...